#I LIKED CLICK .WTF I THOUGHT HE WAS A BAND KID

[iwannabeamachine]

click fans finding out their fave is a cop

#tpoh #click #i dont eben know man #I LIKED CLICK .WTF I THOUGHT HE WAS A BAND KID #[theows everything] AND HES A FUCKING STALKER ??????? #Love is fake

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

#mouth dreams #neil cicierega #liveblog #review

[namjoonchronicles]

flutter | yg

↳ NOTES flutter /ˈflʌtə/ noun, a state or sensation of tremulous excitement, informal•british a small bet.

↳ GENRE fluff, domestic af

↳ WORDS 5.1k

↳ SUMMARY –Future is scary. The possibilities and vast chances to take. A recent letter pivots your family to an emotional frenzy and with the impending stress coming up, your husband does all he can to be supportive and push you through. And it wasn’t the only thing he pushed in you. But this time, he’s up for the transition as well, kind of?

↳ WARNING horrible fluffy shit I hadn’t been able to write for awhile, yoongi plays piano (yes, that’s a warning), skinship (pfft, wtf is wrong with me), lots of touching domestic thingy, excessive consumption of coffee, tub scenes (smacks lips), sweaty yoongi (are you kidding me, it deserves its own warning fk you)

↳ NAMJOONCHRONICLES’ HONORARY TAG LIST @kai-tashi @joon94net @yourlocalalien @snugglemejeon @septemberalien @yoongiseesaw

↳ SPECIAL THANKS TO @fangirlaholicxx my sunshine~ and a gift to @majestikblue

↳ SONG joe hisaishi’s ‘merry go round of life’

As the rain begins to drizzle, you heard a piano being played so beautifully, it stirred you awake with a smile on your face. Sweeping your legs off the mattress, no bed frames, you pushed the door open and tattled down the hallway. Slowly, it reveals your husband's gorgeous shoulder frame and his fingers dancing on the keys, his head swaying to the sound. You smiled wider now that you recognize the tune from long time ago. And how it fits the feeling of being and falling in love with him. The fact that he wanted to play this particular song gave your heart the familiar flutter of meeting him for the first time, underneath that bridge by the blossoming tree. How angelic he looked, how his every move made you shudder, just by standing there. And not even a word was exchanged yet.

In small, calculated steps you peeped by the corner of his eyes as he plays, not wanting to startle him. A small smile is formed on the prettiest lips you've ever seen. Your eyes were cast on the view of his wedding band, there gliding on the keys. He scooted over for you to take the seat and you leaned your head on his shoulder. The notes are coming to an end. Around you are opened large boxes, stacks of old newspapers, tapes and ropes. The walls are empty and the carpets are gone. All the things that used to be there, no longer. He links his head atop of yours. Long after the last note is played, and sustained, only the loudest silence remains. But a breathtaking silence. The kind that leaves you enveloped in a dreamy state, and in a trance as the notes linger in the back of your mind. He lifts his fingers off the keys and slid them around your shoulders.

"Thought that it would be nice to play the song that made you recognize me on our last day here," he whispered against your hair and pressing his lips right after.

"It's not our last day, it's the piano's last day here...we need to head back to return the house keys later," you thwarted, lifting your chin up to kiss him properly on the lips. Yoongi's lips twitch into a smile, and his hand rode down your spine, caressing you warmly.

Staring at the empty walls, nails and photo frames brought down to lean against the wall suddenly make you feel burdened with emotions you had been suppressing all this while. But still, it is not enough to let you shed tears.

A plate of biscuits and black coffee, set on the floor, for a simple breakfast to start the day. In the chaotic week, the twins are sent to Yoongi's village where his mom could take care of them. So they would video-call in the morning to see how things are. The younger of the two was really excited to seeing and living in a new space. Although  the same could not be said for the first born who is, as Yoongi would say, rather rigid like you are. This change was long over-due and it takes time for you to actually take the fact in. You had grown fond of the place and removing everything that you had taken time to select and put up was a sore spot. Thankfully, Yoongi's high adaptability helped you get settled in real quick.

"The boys wanted to talk to you," you passed the phone to him as he hurried to shove the whole biscuit into his mouth and chewed. He gulps, sitting on the floor with one knee propped up. He clawed the air, waiting for the coffee you were drinking from. The boys are already asking the questions, such as, 'When are you coming', 'What is taking so long' and several other unrelated things. All the mugs are boxed away and already in the new apartment so you had to share. When he finally gets his fix, Yoongi frowned at the screen where the boys were cackling to see their father in such incomprehensible state. 

"Alright, Min Gyeonghan and Min Gyeongnam. What's good guys?" Yoongi scrunched his face but kept his eyes glued on the screen, swallowing the dry cookies. The sight made you smile in content.

The boys said that they found a wild squirrel a few days ago, and helped grandmother tie up haystacks, which was a nice transition considering the two had been raised largely in cities. You welcomed the transformation but Yoongi was like, "What about piano? Have you been practicing? Go fishing next time...when I'm around."

At seven years old, Han in particular, showed incredible piano skill with accurate emotional compensation and was fond of playing by ear. However, Nam was excellent in sight reading musical scores while quite not able to implore the same gift into his playing. So as a result, Nam usually gets more practicing hours than Han does. This trip back to the village was something Nam really enjoys. Something he can put his hands on and do well. He recently helped build a bird house for a sparrow. It seems that the two boys are taking all of the talented Min genes.

"So, mom and I are going to finish packing up today, and we're going to visit the new house later, would you like us to call you then? So you could see?" Yoongi asked and the boys nodded enthusiastically.

The call ended in gummy smiles from both sides.

You pour another mug of black coffee before Yoongi stops you midway. "That's enough coffee for you, today, if you drink too much, you won't be able to sleep," Yoongi takes the mug away and chugs it down without pausing in between. You eyed  at the good coffee you just made sadly, settling in Yoongi's stomach instead of yours. With the breakfast finished and the children updated, Yoongi continued packing, placing the vase, buffered with crumpled newspapers and when it's full, you placed a fragile tape on them. You threw the marker pen at Yoongi, he caught it in one hand and scribbled, 'Vases & Decor'. The task didn't end there, Yoongi needed to disassemble the book rack in the study room. So he is now seated on the floor, unscrewing the bolts and you collect all the screws, placing it in a transparent small zipper bag labeled as 'book rack #1'. The curtains were the last thing you took off because you didn't want your windows to be spied on while you were still there. Yoongi is on top of the ladder, taking the curtain holder off while you wait underneath to fetch the fabric.

"There's so much dust on it," you commented.

"That's why I told you to get the vacuum with a longer nozzle but you insisted to have the cordless one, not realizing your hand is too short for it to reach up here," Yoongi complained. "I didn't think it through," you scratched your head as he climbed down. "We need a shower," he smirked and clicked his tongue.

"W-we? What do you mean we..."

He meant we.

Folded card boards. Stacked pile of books and bags of trash. Half-wrapped vase and nail holes in the wall where picture frames used to hang. Left abandoned.

Opened bathroom door. Two soaked bodies in the tub. You leaned your head back on Yoongi's chest, skin to skin, basking in the filled tub, enjoying the silence. Yoongi had his eyes shut, arms resting along the brims.

"It's been awhile since we done this, isn't it?" "Quite awhile. I think ever since the boys came."

You let out a relieved sigh. What a relief to have his mother taking care of them until you and Yoongi successfully packed your belongings to move to the new neighborhood. What a relief it is to have a hand to hold when things as scary as this happens. What a relief it is to have Yoongi. 

The world doesn't seem so lonely anymore. But as the time dragged on, you begin to wonder if it was a good decision knowing how many changes will take place. Sure Yoongi had been on board with anything you'd propose after a careful thought, and you know he's not the kind to agree on things that are bleak, knowing that the twins will be brought along on the ride, but standing at a cross road between two important paths that doesn't allow you to remain as you were, is unspeakably horrifying. With that thought, your fragile strength wavered like a weathered flag by the sea.  

"What if I wasn't as good as I thought I was," you blinked to the view of Yoongi's knee next to yours. Waters lapping as you dunk your hand into the water, linking together. He removes his arm from the brims and hugged your waist, pressing his lips on your shoulder. Your hands flew to the back of his hair, caressing them, before sliding them down the side of his cheek, guiding his lips on yours for a kiss. His wandering eyes flutters close against your cheek, the sound of his breathing in your ear. And what his lips was doing sending you to a complete trance. Just like he did with the piano. Like what he did with the piano.

"What if things turn out to become worser than it is, what will I do then?" you chuckled with watery eyes. Yoongi shook his head and buried his face into your nape instead of responding. "What kind of mother enrolls herself for a degree at this age," you continued. Yoongi didn't join you. He just held you closer and told you the most reassuring words ever, "We'll be okay. You, and the boys, we can do literally anything and everything."

"Are you going to be okay?" "I will be, if you are."

When the offer letter arrived in the mail, you were a concoction of feelings. Delighted, fearful, unsure and uncertain. A combination that was self-destructive on its own. Although it had always been your dream to further your studies, you're not 20 and single anymore. You were older, with financial commitments, an intuitive husband and two gorgeous sons. Pinned with self-induced guilt, you threw the letter, along with its envelope into the bin of your study room. That Yoongi found. A huge argument followed. Cold war was initiated, and sturdiness stringed along sending the boys in distress because they could sense what was happening but could not do anything. Yoongi wanted you to further your studies, because it was your dream. But you wanted to continue this life you've been living, as a mother, as a wife, as someone who has a regular job. To help with the financial demands and expenses. To aid Yoongi.

And to study meant, you'll be adding new debt. You'll be leaving Yoongi with the boys. You'll have to move closer to the university and that means Yoongi had to leave his music academy he pioneered. It meant he has to give up teaching a large class with older kids who were serious about music and trade that with a personal one-to-one class sessions at home with students he could find from the nearby neighborhood. That itself will cause a strain in the financial stance. Not to mention, a pinch in the money bag, as the new neighborhood are full of the musically talented, upper middle class families. The change in the community will expose the boys with unfamiliar upbringings and you hoped that you had given them enough strength, should that day happen. Yoongi wasn't afraid of all these minor things. He was not afraid of changes. As long as we live the way we have lived so far, there will be no bumps in the road we cannot conquer. His core strength was something you admired for so long.

After the shower, he asked if you would be up for making one last memory in this place, on this thin mattress, barely dressed. You scoffed in reply while he glued his lips on your neck, pulling you down with him.

The piano is transported into the moving truck, and the last box was in Yoongi's arm. You did the honor of locking up the apartment carefully. Two boxes were in the backseat of your car since it was fragile. With a mechanical click of the door, you cast a prayer on its view, "May everything goes well from this moment onward." To our new beginnings.

Yoongi is now seated in the driver's seat. But as he waits for you, he reaches for his Canon camera, looked through the view, and snapped a picture of you as you stood there, holding the knob, and looking up at the door you've opened and closed a thousand times, feeling a little nostalgic. He took the shot without telling you and a faint smile appeared on his lips. His sweater paws covering his knuckles makes him look softer than usual. You caught him already looking at you, leaning his chin on his hand that rests on top of the car roof.

"What..." you shyly stepped down the stairs and to the red car. "Nothing, you're just glowing," he blinked, starry-eyed.

You pressed your lips together and rolled your eyes at him, "Alright Romeo, drive, please."

He chuckles lightly and climbed into the car, grabbing the wheels and slammed the car door shut. The engine whirls alive and tires begin rotating, embarking a new journey, a new clean slate, blank canvas that's waiting ahead.

Upon arriving to the new location, located five hours away from your old apartment, Yoongi stops at the safeguard house to present the key card that allowed him to enter. After some simple instructions, he was taught to simply tap the key and the laser gates dissolve. He was already so astonished. You told him that they have two parking spots for each residence, so that was pretty neat. Easier to have the guests around. The apartment has spacious elevator and the flooring was marble.

"It definitely looks painful to keep," he mumbled. "Yeah," you sighed, staring at right while he stares at the left.

"Sir, where can we put the piano?" the man asked from behind you. "Right by the window there, please, thank you," he answered quickly, then he whispered in your ear, "We might need a bigger piano to make the space look fuller. White baby grand?"

White baby grand sounds perfect to be honest. At the mention of refurnishing, your heart swells at the thought of new, more up-to-date furniture and the wider choices you have but dissipates at the possible expenses that will send you to your early grave earlier. As if he heard your thoughts, Yoongi shot, "I've got savings, so don't you worry about that." One by one, boxes were being brought in, kitchen appliances one of the first to be unpacked because you two needed to eat. The coffee machines, the mugs and plates, the dish racks, the wine glasses, oven mittens and rugs. And then the mattresses. While you hammer the nails in to the wall, Yoongi used his screw fasteners to assemble the bed frames. Sweats beaded on his forehead, his drenched white shirt stuck on his skin as he moves from one post to another. He wipes the trickles down his chin with the back of his hand, drilling his eyes to one of the post and then the other.

"Sweetie?" He called for you. "Yeah?" "Can you come here for a bit?"

You didn't question more and leave your hammer behind to attend to your husband, now sweatier than you remembered. You placed yourself next to him and looked at the bed post like he did. Instantly, you picked up on what he thought.

"You're right, it should be on the other side, or we won't have space to walk," you commented. With that simple intervention, Yoongi had you lifting the bed post along with him. He kept asking if it was too heavy and you can stop if you want to, but you'll have to wait until his friend comes over. You said there's no reason to do that, you were impatient as is, and you can't wait to have the whole house come to full view. With the bed frames positioned in a new angle, Yoongi can continue his work easier. All that's left is to put the wooden slats on top and then mattress comes above it, then he can move to the twins room next. He'll leave you to choose what bed sheets you want. He checks how strong the frames are holding up and when he is satisfied, he placed the wooden slats and put the mattress over it. He went out the hallway to check up on you. And while you were nailing, he asked, "What should we have for lun--" he pauses and scowls at the wall clock, "I mean dinner."

But his sudden question caught you off guard and the nail slip from your index finger and thumb, just as the hammer comes. The nail graze you and a steady spot of blood consistently form on its opening. Yoongi took your thumb  into his mouth while you hiss in pain. You hit his butt as he suckles on, his hip flinches comically. Eyes never leaving you. He grabbed the tissue from the side and have you pressing on the small wound. You can't even stay mad at him. A moment later, he was on his phone calling a diner for four rice servings, three side dishes and one main dish. You were busy checking if the nails he nailed in for you were strong enough to hold a picture frame. With your wounded hand, messily self-made bandage, you begin vacuuming the dust on the crevices , being a neat freak that you are. Yoongi's conversation was interrupted by the water boiler bubbling done and then the doorbell. Both of you looked at the door and then at each other. You were already marching forward to the doorway but Yoongi grabbed your wrist in a lazy hold as he ends the phone call with the diner.

When the door is opened, it reveals a slightly short stature man with huge grins. He introduces himself with a blinding smile, and two containers wrapped in a cloth.

"My wife and I heard that you guys just moved in so, here's a little welcoming gift from the both of us. My name is Park Jimin," he bit his smile, and gave a polite bow, "I live down the hall there," he pointed with his finger and leaning forward like an oversize child. It's hard to even picture him as someone's husband. But the wedding band is clearly worn, in addition with some other chrome rings, suggesting to Yoongi that Jimin, might be a quite fashionable man.

"Min Yoongi," he smiled back and placed his hand on the small of your back, "My wife."

"It's just the two of you?" Jimin asked out of curiosity, and being quite secretive with your personal details, you were taken aback by Yoongi's unprecedented honesty when he mentions that you have two twin boys. But appreciated when he didn't mention their names. Jimin's lips shaped in an 'O' and he nods at the understanding that the rumors he heard was wrong.

"What about you, Park Jimin? Do you have children?" You diverted the attention to him. And he gladly complied. The ones that asks questions are the ones in power. "I have a baby daughter, she's four months old," he beamed, "But she's not here right now, she has chicken pox so my mother is taking care of her at the village since we both work."

Jimin peeks over Yoongi's shoulder and saw a piano standing by the window.

"You guys play piano?"

Okay, he's getting nosy. Yoongi blinks rapidly, "Yes we do. We'd really like you to come in but the house hasn't been properly set up yet so it's unfortunate..."

"Oh no, it's okay. I've always wanted to resume my piano lessons but having children doesn't make that possible..." Jimin steps back, understanding that he had crossed some lines. Yoongi reciprocate with a peace offering, "I'm not properly settled yet, but maybe I could mention that I own a music academy back in Daegu, so I can offer you a lesson. You live down the hall right?" Yoongi reconfirms.

"Yes, yes! That would be great, you're a piano teacher! That's awesome..." "He is a composer too," you added. "Ah, she's exaggerating," Yoongi chuckles and send Jimin off to his way.

The food arrives just in time. With Jimin's generous wife providing kimchi and beansprout stew with tofu, your dinner was rather lavish.

The first scoop exudes a loud contented sigh. Yoongi lands his hand on your thigh, munching soundlessly. Scanning the room with your eyes, you made a mental note to mop the floors later to finish things up. The twins room need proper tending to, since the boys are pretty individualistic in their own taste so before Yoongi assembles the beds, you made a mental note to ask the boys what color they wanted on their walls and which sides they want.

The two, although physically alike, Han being the first born is very meek and shy, studious and textbook smart. So his colors are yellow pastels with pastel blue drawn moon and stars, you predicted. He has his own book rack that he aspires to fill up soon. He is not much of an outside person, so that's why you were surprised that he enjoyed being out and about in the village Yoongi's mom lived in.

Nam on the other hand, is quite a handful. The little rascal is the one adopting squirrels and taking in stray cats. The only time he is calm is when he is playing the piano. Nam is a violent sleeper and frequently wet his bed when he was younger. He doesn't do it anymore, but the memory stays vivid in your mind because Yoongi was sniffing around like a dog, because he swore he smelled something odd. And when it struck him, he clenched his eyes shut in silent pain, pinching the bridge of his nose. Nam probably preferred something in darker brown tone or dark blue so he could draw stars and planet on them. Very contrasting, isn't it? But they both liked skies.

There's another demanding decision to be made. Yoongi took a seat on the piano seat, revealed the keys and glide his fingers airily over the pretty black and white notes before turning to you in big wondering eyes. You stood there, mug between your palms, leaning your head against the wall.

"What should I play?" "I don't know, how are you feeling?"

For then, he drops his eyes to the keys, muttering if he could remember the notes correctly. And then. And then he begins A Thousand Years. Sending you fleeting away in the dreamy composition, knees buckling, as your eyes begins to water to the song you got married with. It was like your wedding once again. Your heart clenches and blooms at the same time. The emotions flooding with every notes played so expertly, dancing on his nimble fingers. His head lulls along with the music, clenching shut were his eyes. You could picture the montages of the yesteryear that passed, the hardships, the uncertainty, the leap of faith you took and opening your heart to him, and how it was the bravest and the scariest thing you've ever done. However, every big decision felt like a mistake in the beginning.

With two kids, and a happy home; there's nothing more you could ask for. Everything you needed, needing and will need, is right here.

Devotion that he portrays so effortlessly, made you want to match to his standards. It was something you had never seen before. Yoongi is more action than a word man. He doesn't say 'I love you' as frequently as you'd like him to, but it shows in everything he does. From how he wakes the boys up with a kiss good morning, passing you your morning coffee and getting the meals ready when it's his turn to cook, to the way he invites you to a sudden dance by the parking lot on your bad days, grabbing the boys by the waist when they misbehave, or how he cries at each of their piano recitals knowing he's their teacher, and how he takes every meltdown so swiftly in the way only Yoongi does well. You are always at awe of his dedication, and how he seems to know everything he needs to know. He doesn't run away from commitment although it took awhile for him to convince himself to marry. Yoongi is always so put-together, always understanding the situation beyond the surfaces and the outward view.

The tears welling up the brims, impending to fall. Until it finally surrenders from its own weight, trailing down steadily on one side as the song comes to an end. Yoongi looks up with his own eyes glittering. He reached out for your hand and brought you to the wide glass doors, overlooking the view the balcony had. He positioned you in front of him, and you pressed your back to his chest. And he sways his body side to side with you, enjoying the sapphire blue star studded transitioning sky, and one by one, the neighboring residences flickering their lights on. He nuzzled his face in your hair, hugging your waist so tight as if you could disappear into thin air if he held any loose.

"Would you look at that view," he whispers softly in your ear. The images shifts to the reflection of you and him on that glass door, faintly there, and, "There's stars inside of us."

He then brought his arm up around your shoulders, and hums a melody. He shut his eyes, feeling contented with just your presence. And then your index finger, floats over his forearm in a trance.

"The house feels empty without them," you confessed. "I know right," he shot, "Let's hurry up, and finish setting everything so we can have the boys here." "I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss having a fight with them."

With another shared shower, in a somewhat larger tub, the sheets are clean and ready for use, waiting just outside. Yoongi and you climbed on the bed at the same time.

"I can't wait for all of us to live here, I think the boys will really like it... it has playground and the tub is huge, their room is bigger than the last one, they will be so excited and I can't wait for those little faces lit up..." you cheerfully did the shoulder dance until Yoongi begins to snore. And not even the usual kind of snore. More like the surprise attack snore that doesn't give you any warning. Sudden silence and then a hitched breathing in. Your smile dissipates immediately and you frowned at your husband, jaws hanging open, with a hint of saliva pooling at the corners which he sloppily licked over and you scooted closer to his face, eyes falling to the view of his nose and lashes, where you whispered, "You look ugly when you sleep..."

Pause, and pressing your lips on his cheek bones, "But I still love you."

He turns to the side away from you and hogs the blanket, mumbling, "You look ugly too."

Huh. Is that so.

Yoongi's first morning in the new neighborhood includes brewing coffee for the missus and then a stroll down the park to the nearest convenient store to buy some bread and jams for breakfast. Maybe fine sliced beef and eating more of that expensive beef since the boys aren't here. And as he made his way to the cashier, a small ruckus was heard from the entrance where a men was holding two toddlers in each hand while having another one in the baby sling back. He is very attractive for a father of three, to which Yoongi flinches at the thought of possibly falling for a guy.

"Alright, Tata," he spoke and the gorgeous baritone sends Yoongi's arm to sudden chill, "Where did you find that key?" The smart little one points at the apple in the freezer. "We're not having apples until you tell me, where you got that key... Come on sweetie, daddy's gotta go pee, we don't have time for this," he sobs cutely, stomping his feet. Yoongi thanks the cashier and took his bagged groceries, passing the handsome father, idly.

"Taehyung, you dummy, that's Namjoon's key. Give me back my daughter, Lily get back here," this one is also a good looking father, barging through the door, almost hitting Yoongi in the process. "I know I told you I'm going to lend you my game console, that doesn't mean you can kidnap my Lily..." this taller one pestered.

"No! I like Uncle Taetae!" the one who is about seven, throttled back to his dad, Yoongi assumed. "Why?!" "The key is Namjoon's? But Seokjin-hyung, why is it here?" "Because Koya dropped it, you coconut head! You need to give it back to him..." "But he changed his door lock about two weeks ago..." "It doesn't matter?" Seokjin felt how ridiculous the conversation is, "I have to be home, my in-laws are coming..."

What an interesting neighborhood. Good thing is Yoongi don't have toddlers anymore to be hanging out with those losers. Until he receives a phone call from you, asking for a morning sickness pill safe for pregnant women on his way up.

"I think we'll have another one, Yoongs."

That's the thing about families you know. One thing leads to another, and then it piles on. Unexpected, uncertainties, the so-called picturesque view of a blank canvas can sometime be really scary even for Yoongi. So if you're pregnant, and lecture begins in a month, the boys will be back home, Yoongi will be torn limb-by-limb until the baby is delivered. And probably not even then. His fingers run chill, the hair behind his neck stood up. All those sleepless nights, the murky stained shirt, vomits and poops are coming back to haunt him.

His view flew to the bickering fathers now calming their two toddlers, crying for god knows what reason. Are you ready for the chaos that's about to unfold? Will Yoongi be ready to be a house husband and join those very idiots he called losers?

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COPYRIGHT © 2019 NAMJOONCHRONICLES do not repost, who do you think is going to be revealed as the house husband for the next fic of this lovely neighborhood? share what you love, tell me what you liked in this one

#bangtanarmynet #hyunglinenetwork #btsguild #flutter #yoongi #bts #bts fanfics #bts suga #bts fluff #min yoongi #bts scenarios #bts reactions #kpop #fanfiction #bts writers #beyond the scene #yoongi ff #suga ff #yoongix reader #husband au #dad au yoongi #yoongi as husband #bts husband au #piano suga #yoongi playing piano #myg #min suga #suga #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

#black monday #andrew rannells #don cheadle #regina hall #trailer #showtime #slander

[mysideblogofsurveys]

Survey 7.

1. if you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? I don’t have my cat anymore (I had to give him to my parents when I moved in with my husband because he is allergic) but I had adopted him from the humane society. 2. what kind of cheese is your favorite, or no cheese at all? Honestly, all of the cheese.  I love it all haha 3. do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not really, I’m horrible at it. 4. have you seen any of the old james bond movies? No, just the new ones 5. do you chew gum on a regular basis? No, I actually don’t even remember the last time I had any.

6. do you think mitchell musso is hot, like all the magazines say? I didn’t know who that was so I looked it up and nope.  I don’t find him attractive at all.

7. list all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: How small I am (I’m like 5′0), I don’t look like I”m 32 so I get treated like I”m a lot younger, my eyes

8. do you play ps, ps2, or ps3? I haven’t in a while (been too busy playing my Nintendo Switch) but I have quite a few games for it.  My husband plays it more than I do. 9. have you ever been in a hot air balloon? and if not, would you ever want to go in one? I think it’d be kinda cool but getting my courage together to go on it is another thing lol 10. do your parents buy you something on a daily basis? No, I buy everything myself. 11. what type of computer do you have? Well, my laptop is from like 2015, its an HP. I bought it to help me study for my Licensing exams for my career (not college related)  My desktop is from 2012 that my Husband helped me build.  It was like $1000 but had all the best equipment at the time and still works great today. Expensive but so worth it. 12. do you like old, black and white movies? The only black and white show I’ve watched were old cartoons or 3 Stooges 13. is anyone else in the room with you right now? Not exactly?  We have an open floor plan so my husband is technically in the dining room (I’m in the living room) but I can see him if I move my head slightly, he’s just around the corner. 14. do you watch john and kate plus 8? No but I’ve seen one or two episodes. 15. do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? No 16. do you listen to local bands? No, well we went to a Fair in January, not too far away from us that had local kids playing and they weren’t too bad (obviously haven’t heard them since then).  I hung out with a lot of guys that were in bands when I was in highschool though.

17. do you collect anything? Video games, I guess.  I prefer to buy the physical versions for several reasons 18. have you seen the movie, thirteen? I don’t think so. 19. do you watch vh1? I Haven’t in a long time but I did when I lived with my parents 20. have you ever said “fergalicious”, but changed it to your name instead of fergie’s? What?  No.  I only liked one song from her 21. do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but I did growing up (my parents asked if we wanted a trampoline or a pool and we wanted a pool) 22. do you watch youtube videos often? No, well not really. I don’t like follow any YouTubers except Tim Pool (Liberal) and Steven Crowder (Conservative).  Mostly because I believe they try to sift through the shit the news/media either doesn’t focus on or skips completely and try to get the truth.  I like listening to both Liberals and Conservatives then form my own opinion. 23. do you wear mascara? Yeah but the only make up I wear is eyeliner and mascara.

24. do your parents fight?  do they even talk at all? I’m sure they have like arguments but I’ve never seen them have huge ones.

25. have you ever watched a movie that’s in a completely different language, so you had to read sub-titles? All the time! I’m actually binge-watching “Dark” on Netflix (its a German time travel show.  Its SO GOOD but also fucked up.  It has English voice-overs but it just doesn’t feel right.  Sounds much better in the native German).  I also watch a lot of anime in Japanese (with subtitles).  I’m trying to learn both languages. 26. do people with yellow teeth disgust you? Thats kinda mean 27. do you drink alcohol on new year’s eve? Yes 28. do you wear rings? Only my engagement and wedding ring 29. are you hungry right now? Yeah, a little 30. would you like to have a universal remote, like in the movie, Click? I don’t thinks so, only because going back to fix something would change the future and as I’ve seen from “Dark” (mentioned above), time traveling is nothing I want to deal with lol

31. have you ever tried smoking a cigarette? Yeah.  I socially smoked (had one when I drank) when I was younger but haven’t had one in over 10 years. I never bought any or got addicted, just had one when everyone else went out for a smoke (if that makes sense) 32. do you get any magazines in the mail? Yeah, I get Game Informer because I’m a member of GameStop’s membership.  I get all of my video games there.

33. don’t you just wanna stab someone with a fire poker? No, wtf! 34. do you wear baseball caps? No, I’m not a hat person except when we go to the beach.  Then I wear a floppy one to shield me from the sun

35. what was the last memory you thought about that instantly brought a smile to your face? I’m not sure 36. has anyone inflicted physical pain on you today? No but myself is beating me up from the inside (I started my period last night so I’m all cramp-y :/ ) 37. are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? Yeah, I suppose.  Its like a 15 min walk though. 38. what was the last store that you went into when you were at the mall? I haven’t been to the mall in months but it was probably GameStop. 39. do you currently have any coupons for stores right now, which stores specifically? I don’t have coupons but I have a bunch of gift cards.  To Kohls, Panera Bread, BoneFish restaurant and some others I can’t think of right now

40. what was the last picture you uploaded to your facebook? Its been a long time, I don’t post anything to FaceBook anymore (I don’t trust it.  If it wasn’t for keeping up with family on it, I would delete it. 41. when was the last time that you were so tired that everything was funny to you? A long time, I normally fall asleep before I get to the giggly stage. 42. what’s something that you do that you know hurts people close to you? Probably not call them as much as I should.  I suck at keeping in contact with those further away. 43. what was the last board game that you played? It was probably some form of Dungeons and Dragons, we’re super nerdy lol 44. the next time you will be going on vacation, where will you be heading too? Well, we were supposed to go to Germany in September for Okoberfest but since that is cancelled, we probably won’t be going (International flights are still undecided on.  But honestly, it’ll probably all get canceled.)  Aside from that, I’m still flying to my hometown in early Sept for my cousin’s wedding (and hopefully the Renaissance Festival with my sibling-in-laws but I’m not sure if that will be canceled either.) 45. do you get bloated at all after you eat? It depends on what I eat, so sometimes. 46. have you read the book lovely bones? No, I tend to read Sci-Fi/Fantasy books.  I briefly looked up what that book is about and definitely not something I would read. 47. are you mad that this survey is over now? No, I’ll probably do another one lol

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #about me

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Getting to Know...

Lial.

'Ophelia' is the latest, and final, single to be taken from upcoming London electronic-pop artist Lial’s forthcoming Made to Break EP which follows on June 12.

'Ophelia' is a song about imbalances within a relationship, and more widely an exploration of the universal human condition of wanting what you cannot have.

'Ophelia' encompasses aspects of Lial’s previous singles, the shimmering electronic-pop of 'Embers' and the Låpsley compared dark hypnotic charms of 'Dirty Little Lies'. However, Ophelia casts an even more spellbinding web, blending pulsating downtempo beats with a subtle piano melody - the result is an enticing, melancholy-tinged earworm for those who like their ‘pop’ on the darker, more sophisticated side.

Lial’s alluring, emotive vocal delivery touches on Lana Del Rey’s dichotomy of presenting as both the seductive hunter and the heart-torn hunted, mirroring perfectly her lyrical exploration of human psychology, love and desire on the songs from the forthcoming Made to Break EP.

We had a quick chat with Lial al about the new EP, her influences and more. Read the Q&A below.

Let’s start from the beginning.. Please tell us a bit about yourself and what it was that led you to make music.

"My dad introduced me to music very early on, as he was massively into the Beatles, had an amazing singing voice and played guitar - there was always music playing in the house. I was then obsessed with music as a child - I think there’s a certain breed of kids that just get super into it early. For me that looked like spending all my money on CDs and stereos, and listening non stop to albums over and over, always having headphones in your ears. I started singing pretty early and after very briefly working in music management decided to transition into being an artist. It took a while to find my sound but electronic pop really resonates with me right now."

Who/what are your biggest influences?

"I actually listen to a massive range of music, including guitar based indie pop - as a child bands and artists like Garbage, Skunk Anansie, Kings of Leon, Alanis…but I am now influenced more by artists using more electronic instruments to explore sounds. Lana del Rey has probably been my biggest influence on my current sound, with other artists like Banks, Sohn, some of Sia’s early stuff, and Låpsley’s early work."

You're gearing up to release your second EP Made to Break in June. What can you tell us about the EP?

"I’m so looking forward to getting this EP out! There’s a common thread through the songs…I tend to veer towards more reflective and melancholy vibes and this EP follows that theme. The songs explore loneliness which sits right next to love, tucked up beside it. The song ‘Just Say It’s Over’ probably epitomises that the most…when you’re with someone but no longer connected like you were, it’s agony but you’re stuck in limbo until you rip the plaster off. The song ‘Made to Break’ is a kind of acceptance of that - heart break is inevitable and you cannot escape the pain that comes with love."

How does Made to Break differ from Heart Scars? What was your songwriting/creative process for the new EP?

"This EP is the natural next step from Heart Scars. I’ve grown as a person and have a clearer idea of my sound as an artist and what I want. This EP was the first time I worked with producer Gregor Mcwilliam, who is a friend of my cousin. We got together and wrote Embers just to see how it turned out working together. I loved the result and approached him about working together on the EP. We just clicked sonically - he gets what I’m into, and is able to take what I am hearing in my head and bring it to life. In a session we often spend some time just listening to other cool tracks and getting a sense of the vibe before sitting down to write something. That’s why there’s a big epic feel to some of these tracks, I was listening to a lot of Lana and obsessing over some of the massive sounds she uses and random samples."

Finally, how have you been coping with the COVID-19 lockdown. Are you working on anything? And what do you have planned for when we're back to some sort of normality?

"I have some weird down days during lockdown, which I think is pretty normal, when you’re like WTF is going on with the world?!? But actually it’s been quite liberating, having normal life totally disrupted. I’ve spent more time on music than I’ve ever managed before, I think because the interruption of social life and travelling around London (which takes ages normally as it’s so massive) is now gone. I’m actually working on some new music, which I’m loving, without any pressure of a set release date, but just exploring. I’ve managed to set up a ‘live-ish’ area in my flat, where I can write and play around with ideas and plan to do some live gigs online. Once we return to normality I can’t wait to see my family and friends, and hug them! I miss hugging people, and I’m not a massively tactile person so that is saying a lot! I’m also so looking forward to restaurants, bars and crowds…a sticky dance floor, not being able to sit down in a pub…never thought I would say that but it must be the Londoner in me!"

Lial · Ophelia

Made to Break is out June 12.

#getting to know #lial #ophelia #made to break

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u. #FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

[a7xmemes]

Adventures of the Babysitting Kind

I had the opportunity to briefly chat and meet Avenged Sevenfold in Orlando, Florida and some of the crew responsible for keeping the circus on the road. After failing to convince people to come with me, I decided to take my angsty teenager niece. You can imagine my joy!

In order to take her, I had to trade my standing pit passes for crappy seats, just so she wouldn’t die crushed or “smoked to death” (a belief her parents had- I can’t believe that asshole is my brother 🙄). That was ok by me. Note: I insist I’m adopted.

The heat was intense. Florida in the summer is like the 13th floor in hell, right between Satan’s balls! I’m a headlining show fan, so this conjoint twin concert was not my thing to begin with, but since I’ve never seen Metallica live, I thought, “what the hell!”

I already mentioned we had crappy seats (I’m sure it won’t be the last reference). Because of this, I decided not to make the line, so we found a shade under a tree. Note: Florida has a lot of bloody palm trees, but real trees in a parking-lot in downtown Orlando are not a thing.

The complaints began: “I’m hot, can I drink your water, I smell, they said 4pm”… wtf is wrong with kids these days? - Fast-forward we are now standing in line to go in, when the 6'3 metalhead in front of me decided to faint. The medic in me had to jump in on my day off and yell, “I’m a medic!”, my niece is rolling her eyes to the back of her skull again. We tend to the guy. Got him hydrated, vitals checked… he’ll live! and send him on his way. Note: I was supposed to be at a point by 5:30 and it was 5:15! As we walked through the gates I thought I heard my name being yelled, but I decided to ignore it. I needed water. Note: I should have not ignored it.

Got to the point of pickup and suddenly I’m singled out and placed on the back of the line like I misbehaved 😂. Note: every single crew member came to say hi and reassured me I was NOT in trouble.

My niece, still rolling her eyes… now other fans are joining her in.

Girl in front of me gave me her little fan. We exchanged some words. She looked like she was about to die. I told her she would be alright. She rolled her eyes at me. Suddenly I remembered I forgot my eyeglasses. What good is it to meet and greet someone you cannot see! I quickly dug into my tiny purse and found my sunglasses. Put them on! I can see now!

I started hearing Volbeat playing my favorite song! Dammit! I love that song! I’m told to go to the back of the line again… I moved.

I heard people sobbing… they must be out! Sure enough I looked to my right and Brooks was standing right next to me with his sharpie ready to go on command! We exchanged words. Signed my stuff and moved just as Johnny crashed in. He liked my shirt. It said, “I’m only here for the opening band”. Brooks said, “Hey that’s us!” I said yes, that’s you! Zack stopped by and went in for the hug. He’s cold. Goddamnit their air conditioner must be good! I didn’t want to let go of his arm. It was so cool! As in cold! He talked to me about the weather. I think he noticed I was dying of heat. Couldn’t understand a word Brian was saying. Volbeat was playing. He smiled and hugged and smiled and hugged. I nodded. Suddenly I remembered to check on my niece. She looked fine, but asked me who the hell were they. I almost flipped on her and mentally removed her from my will. But then she pointed like she just saw an unicorn, galloping down from a double rainbow and said, “M Shadows!”, as he was tapping on my shoulder. Apparently she only knows M. Shadows. I turned around and there he was. He went in for the hug. Couldn’t hear much. He said thank you for all that you do. I said no! Thank you for doing this. Here comes Brooks back. Says, “Hey are those glasses?” I said yes. He goes “they are pretty cool, where did you get them?” We exchanged words about being blind, while Matt tried to decipher what was wrong with my angsty teen. I explained, it’s her first concert… ever! Zack jumped in and said, “well I better not fuck this one up!”. I said, “Feel free to do so!” Her eyes rolled again. Here comes Brian. Mumbles. Hugs again. Matt walked by again and said thank you for like the 4th time 😂. They moved to talk to other people. They took group photos and Im not in them, since I was spaced out as usual! As I was walking out, I was summoned for photos. I Can’t see… barely smile.. click! I said thank you to everyone. They all said good bye. I hugged their bodyguard. He is a sweet, noble giant! And then we were off to our crappy seats.

I was starving! Pizza! Fuck diet! We ate. Then we found out our crappy seats were not so crappy after all and we had access to the floor! This will work! Angsty teen just sat there. We watched the end of Volbeat, who somehow needed to be trapped in a red play pen for fear of falling off stage or some shit! My teenager is still stone cold face. No expression 😝. Avenged Sevenfold takes the stage! Flawless performance under the unforgiving sun. Two middle age guys next to me suddenly became my bodyguards. Pushing anyone that would come near and sheltering me from the sun! Sweet angels. My niece thought they were creepers. I thought they were my new best friends. The three of us made fun of her for the rest of the night. And last, Metallica. Let me tell you something about their Stage… WOW! Just… WOW! The freaking pyro, the giant screens… I mean! Blown away!

Moral of the story, don’t take an angsty teen to concerts unless they can let go of their K-Poop or whatever the hell that is. And if you must, embarrass the fuck out of them from beginning to end.

The end.

#a7xfans #a7xfamily #a7x #avengedsevenfold #mshadows #synystergates #zackyvengeance #johnnychrist #brookswackerman

[didiletyouknooow]

50. Desecration Smile

Hey,

so FINALLY there is chapter No. 50!!! Wow, I can’t believe that I’ve already written 50 chapters! Thank you so much for reading and giving me feedback. I got to know some great people after creating this tumblr page and starting writing this story. The Chili Peppers have such a great fan community. I still have so many ideas in my mind and I really hope you like these ideas. 

Now here’s the chapter. I hope it’s not tooooo emotional and dramatic! 

Thank you so much! <3

_______

“Hey you bitch, did you cheat on Josh????”

 “Why are you on those pics with Andrew Garfield? Is he your boyfriend now? I thought Josh Klinghoffer is your boyfriend???”

 “If you hurt Josh then I hurt you!!!!”

 “Did you cheat on Josh with SPIDERMAN????”

This list could go on and on. I didn’t read all the comments people wrote under my latest photo on Instagram that didn’t have anything to do with Josh or Andrew. It only showed me and Molly after a shopping tour. I posted it two weeks ago.  So it had nothing to do with this current situation. But obviously did some RHCP-fans see the pics of Andrew and me. Even I didn’t see them yet!

So I clicked on the link Lara sent me. There it was. The pics showed Andrew and me leaving the bar last night. I was holding his hand because I was about to stumble. It was the only time we were “holding hands” after leaving the bar. Surely the paparazzi released the shutter only in this specific moment. The next photos showed us leaving the café where we had breakfast this morning. WTF, it was only five hours ago and it was already on the internet???

But there was more to it than that. There was also a short article in the tabloids on the internet.

 “Does Spiderman have a new Gwen Stacy?”

Andrew Garfield (33) was seen leaving a bar in Hollywood yesterday with a lady. They were holding hands while leaving the side exit of the bar heading directly to Andrew’s personal driver. Does the Spiderman-actor have a new girlfriend after Emma Stone (28) and he broke up last year?

But if we look a little bit closer we found out that this lady isn’t just some unknown woman – no! Two months ago she was seen with Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist Josh Klinghoffer (37) on his bands’ Europe tour. The couple was seen several times in different cities all around Europe! So who’s the lady?

Her name is Eileen Puritz and she’s obviously a teacher from Los  Angeles. From what we know she dated Klinghoffer for two years but obviously the pair called it quits in the last two months. Or does she keep her options open? We’re eager for more pics!”

 I couldn’t believe what the tabloids wrote about me! They presented me as if I would be a maneater! But I definitely wasn’t one! But they even posted a screen shot from one of my Instagram posts. Well, why did I change the settings to public? I hated me for this because now I knew how the fans found out about it so fast! I got totally angry while reading these lines! Who did they think they were to write something about a person who is definitely NO celebrity???? I starred at the photos and the article for several minutes. Finally I had to come to terms with it.

But people were going crazy. They weren’t only commenting my pics by writing insults, some also send me messages on Facebook. Okay maybe it was my fault because I changed the settings of my account on Instagram from private to public because I deleted all the pics where Josh could be seen. I thought no one was really interested in “my life” at all but now that this happened….wow. I didn’t know what to think or what to feel.

I was glad that Lara and Felix were still in the city. I texted them and met them in the evening. We had pizza in Echo Park and I told them the whole story about last night.

“Wow, sounds crazy to me but also like fun” Felix commented laughing. “You’re so lucky to meet Andrew Garfield!” Lara grinned. “But you know….I wish I wouldn’t have done this last night….If I would have only known what could happen afterwards…” “Don’t think about the comments” Felix let me know. “It’s stupid. Stupid girls who are just jealous” “Exactly. Maybe they were okay with you as his girlfriend but now that it’s over and they see you with another man they go crazy because they want to protect Josh” Lara suggested. “Well, maybe you’re right. Whatever….I try not to think about it because it’s stupid, like you said. But I wonder why they think I cheated on Josh? I mean, our relationship was never a public thing. It only went public when the stranger followed us around in Europe and posted all these pics. Only then the fans knew that we were dating again but….we don’t have to publish a public announcement that we broke up, right?” “It’s just stupid bullshit. You shouldn’t pay attention to these kids” Lara said. “The comments aren’t only written by teenager fans. It’s also written by adults! Even by men! I really don’t get it!” I told her. “Stay calm and drink a beer” Felix finally ended the discussion. So I did.

My first weeks at my new job were stressful but I liked it. I realized how happy it made me to do some research, read texts, analyse them, read studies….I just love science. My boss was very nice and kind although he was also very strict. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy working for him but I still felt pleased that he asked me to work for him. Starting this new job let me stop thinking about Josh. Although I was the one who broke up with him I sometimes caught myself thinking about him or wondering what he was doing. I knew that he was probably on tour again. They just started touring the USA this month.

When I came home I usually was very exhausted but in my second week some of my coworkers asked me to go out and have some burgers at a diner. So I agreed and had a great time with them. They were all so nice and friendly – they welcomed me very fast. Sometimes I felt like being a student again. Back to the college days. But this time I was the one on the other side – next semester I would teach my own seminar.

After one month my boss wanted to talk to me about a “very important issue” as he called it. So I went to his office. When I left it an hour later I didn’t know what to say. My kneels were weak and my heart was beating very fast. Okay, I had to recollect. And I had to call Lara as soon as possible.

“Wow, that’s a great opportunity” Lara said after I told her the “news”. Sadly Felix and her had to leave LA last months but we were skyping on a regular basis. “Yes, it is….” “Do you want to know my opinion? Take it. Maybe you’ll never get this opportunity ever again” “Maybe….” ”But you’re afraid, aren’t you? I mean….it would be so great!” “I know it would but….yes I’m afraid. I don’t know if I can do this. Again” “You can. You’re still very young. And it’s only six months” “But I’m already 31….I thought I would stay here for the next years. Maybe forever” “Eileen, you’re only 31! So stop thinking and analyzing too much!” Lara was right….maybe I would never ever get this opportunity again. “Plus, I think it’s a great chance for your PhD. I mean, doing research in the motherland….” ”Absolutely….if I wouldn’t worry so much” “Stop worrying and start doing it baby!” Lara tried to convince me. “But I have to tell Josh….I mean, it would be unfair if I don’t do it, don’t you think?” “Hm….do it if you want to. You don’t have to.” “But it would be too bad if someone else would tell him” “I think you shouldn’t care about him. He’s your ex” “Well” I sighed. “Maybe I’m just a bit melancholic because It’s Valentines Day. I mean, I never really paid attention to this day and neither did Josh but….I recently stalked their Instagram and saw a pic from their last concerts. They’re about to play in New  York this week and….well I’m just a bit melancholic” “It’s okay to feel this way” Lara cheered me up. “You know, we had a relationship for two years so….we were very close” “Do it if you feel like you have to tell him” she said.  

I had to. But the following weeks passed by and I did nothing. I didn’t text Josh or even call him. I was too afraid he didn’t want to speak to me. But it wasn’t only the fact that I wanted to talk to him about a certain topic, I also wanted some stuff back that was still at his house. I mean, I didn’t need it as soon as possible but it was still my stuff. He had also some clothes at my apartment but it seemed like he didn’t really miss it. So instead of calling Josh and asking him when I can get back my stuff I met Molly. We walked through Venice Beach and later sat down in the sand. The sun was about to go down. I was so happy that I had Molly here as one of my best friends in LA. So I told her about the important conversation I had with my professor the other day. After I told her she was kind of shocked too. Okay, luckily I wasn’t the only one… “So….this is a huuuuuge opportunity” she said. “I know” “You should take it, but….wow, I think it would be hard for me, for all of us” “But it’s only for six months…” “It’s a long time” “But I don’t know what happens if I don’t take this opportunity. Maybe my boss fires me. Maybe he treats me badly when he comes back” “Well….don`t think about it” Molly told me. “You should think about what you want. Listen to your heart, I think it already told you what to do” She was right. I sort of knew which decision I had to make.

“But, you know….I thought about telling Josh” I suddenly said. Molly looked at me with a surprised face. “Really? Why?” “Because I don’t want it that he will get to know it through other people” “Well, but you’re not a couple anymore. You don’t have to tell him” I knew. And Molly was the second person who said so. But I still felt connected to him, at least as a friend or as someone who was very close to him for a long period. So I thought it would be necessary to tell him. “He’s my ex. It’s only three months ago. I think I should tell him” “So, then go and do it” she said and drank her tea. “Is he doing okay so far?” I didn’t know why I still worried about him. Maybe because I still felt a bit bad because I ended our relationship. I knew that I didn’t have to feel bad because it was my decision and he had to accept it. And I guess he did. I never wanted to hurt him but I think I did with breaking up. I felt so sorry but for me it was the right decision. “Well…do you want me to tell the truth?” “Yes, please” “Okay….so, Josh is….pretty much fucked up” Wow….what? 

“Why? What happened to him?” “Eileen” Molly laughed sarcastically. “You broke up with him” “Yes but that’s months ago” “Three months aren’t a long time for getting over someone who was part of your life for years” “Hm….” I sighed. “So what does he do?” “He is fucked up. He looks very unhealthy….he drinks a lot” I couldn’t believe what she told me. It sounded like Josh’s behaviour after he broke up with me three years ago. “So he kind of does all these things again he already did in the past?” “No….it’s worse” “Like….what does he do?” “He drinks, he’s pissy, I think he even played some shows drunk….and that’s something he didn’t do since playing in the Chilis. Eric was at their New York concerts and he says Josh didn’t look well. He played brilliant but he saw that Josh was fucked up” “Hm….I don’t know what to say. How should I comment it? You know I’m still sorry” “I know….well, you asked me how he’s doing and I told you the truth. He’s not okay. Definitely not” “But he has to go through it. He will make it, I know it. I did and so will he” “The problem is that he doesn`t talk. Not even to Eric who is his best friend” “I know….that’s the biggest problem and in the end it ended our relationship” “I can relate to it….” “Well….” I sighed. “He will get over it some day”

When I heard these words from Molly I thought about another question that was on my mind. I knew it wasn’t the right time to ask it. “So….and is he seeing someone new?” Molly looked at me. I couldn’t read her face. She looked so strange. “He’s already seeing someone new, isn’t he?” I asked her. Molly didn’t respond but her face told me the answer. “Why doesn’t it surprise me? I mean, I think about how I should tell him something important about my life and he’s already banging a new chick” I noticed how I got a little bit angry. “Well….but I guess he’s just doing it for fun” “But he is already back in the mood to make out with other girls” “Eileen, he’s a man.” “Yes but then he shouldn’t cry me a river because I broke up with him if he can obviously replace me so fast” “I wouldn’t say he replaced you. He only found a new chick he can have fun with” “And who is this girl? Is she an actress? A model? A musician? Or just a normal random girl? Maybe a fan?” “Well….as far as I know she’s a college student from LA” “Wow” I started laughing. “So he’s banging college students now? How old is she?” “Eileen” Molly sighed. “I shouldn’t have told you” “But you did” “I know….because you asked. Honestly I didn’t expect you to be so jealous” “I’m not jealous. I just can’t get it. Why can men start fucking with a new chick so soon although they pretended to be so heartbroken after the break up?” “Like I said….he just wants to have fun” “Maybe he….” ”And honestly Eileen, he’s just doing it to get over you” “Whatever” I sighed. “How old is she? Older or younger than Chloe?” “I don’t know….Eric once saw her in New York when he was at the concerts. She was there as well. Josh also invited her to New Orleans so…”

New Orleans. I remembered it when I surprised Josh on his last tour in New Orleans. I took a flight earlier just to surprise him and he was so happy seeing me. I remembered walking through the streets with him and taking our very first selfie at the harbor. From Nola with Love. Now it was all in the past.

 “Wow, he already invited her on tour” “He did” “Surely, as a college student you have plenty of time to visit your boyfriend on tour” “Eileen….stop being jealous. It doesn’t make sense” “I’m not jealous, I just try to understand him. Right now I can’t” “You know, Josh seeing a new chick isn’t the problem here….the real problem is how he’s been in the last weeks. He’s so fucked up. I heard that the boys in the band are totally pissed at him. They told him to stop drinking so much. You know, Anthony and Flea had drug problems and they’re sober and living a healthy lifestyle….so you can imagine how upset they are that Josh is drinking so much alcohol lately” “Yeah….but why does he do it?” “Eileen…isn’t it obvious?” “What?” “He’s heartbroken. He’s not feeling good. He tries to compensate his feelings with young chicks and alcohol” “Well….” I couldn’t find the words. “So we should help him. Eric tried to talk to him in New York, I tried to talk to him prior. We both tried it. We know that Flea tried it. No chance. He doesn’t talk” “He can be a total pighead sometimes….” I sighed. “So….maybe you should talk to him. Text him, whatever” “Well….maybe” “Oh and by the way, the chick isn’t that young. She’s 25 or 26 or so” “Really? Wow, isn’t she too old?” I said sarcastically. 

Two days later I conquered my weaker self and texted Josh. I wanted to know when I can get back my stuff.

 “Hey, How are you? I hope you’re fine. When are you at home so I can get my stuff back? I know it’s already been three months but….I thought maybe you needed time

So let me know

Eileen”

Josh needed one day until he responded. “I’m currently in NYC but I’ll be back in two days so you can come on Monday to get your stuff. Bye J”

Wow. He didn’t sound very happy about my message. But I tried not to care about it. Instead I wondered what he was still doing in New York. It didn’t take much time until I found out that he was working with Eric Avery on new music. Well, at least only new music and not….stop thinking Eileen. This leads into nothing.

So it was finally Monday. I knew that he Chilis would play three sold out shows in Staples Center in the following days. So Josh had to be back home now.

When I walked into his driveway I had a queasy feeling in my stomach. Nothing positive. I didn’t know what or whom I had to expect. I knocked on his door and it took him some time until he opened it. But when he did, he didn’t look amused. “Wow, I didn’t expect you” he said and after a short awkward moment I followed him into the kitchen. Well, I texted him so why didn’t he expect me? “I wanted to take all my stuff with me. Finally” I told him once again. “Yeah, wow, that’s early” Josh said sarcastically. Okay, something was wrong with him. I saw it. “Sorry, I was too busy in the last weeks” “Yeah, me too” Wow, what a great conversation I thought. It felt so awkward. 

I looked at him but he didn’t look back. It was as if he avoided looking at me. “Is it true?” he suddenly asked. “What do you mean?” “Are you dating Andrew Garfield?” 

Wow. How did he come up with this topic?

“No!” I responded. “I don’t!” “Then why are there pics of you two leaving a bar and going out for dinner?” “You saw it?” “Sure I did.” I knew that Josh didn’t care about celebrity news so someone must’ve shown it to him. “My sister showed it to me” He always said “my sister” or “my friend Eric” when he was upset. He knew that I knew these people but when he was mad at me he always pretended that I didn’t know them at all. “It’s not true” “But the photos are?” “Yes” I sighed. “So what were you doing? Did you meet him accidentally and bombed into his pic twice?” he said jokingly but I knew that he didn’t felt like joking. “No…” I said. “It’s a long story” “Oh I don’t wanna hear it” Josh said with a suing view in his face.

“I met him accidentally and we just chatted and had a good night. Nothing happened” I told him. Well, it was the truth, right? “I was drunk”. “Yeah of course” Josh laughed. “It always happens to me too that I suddenly wake up next to Olivia Wild when I’m going out partying” he said cynically. “You never go out partying” “Doesn’t matter” “Well….” I sighed. “Believe it or not. Nothing happened. Did you know that some of your fans who saw these pics are sending me evil messages on Facebook and even murder threats?” I asked Josh.

These messages didn’t stop in the last weeks. I changed my settings to private so no one could see my Instagram photos anymore but some people kept sending me messages on Facebook.

Josh didn’t seem to be impressed. “Well, it’s your fault if your profiles on social media can be found by everyone and everyone can send you messages. It’s not my fault. I wasn’t the one who was photographed with Andrew Garfield” “Josh!” I interrupted his speech. “It’s bullshit, okay? Nothing happened. And even if something happened then who cares? We’re not together anymore….we can both do whatever the fuck we want!” “So….then fine. Have fun out there in Hollywood” he said. I saw in his face that he was still mad at me. But why? We were both single. Even when I would hook up with ten guys in a row he didn’t have a right to be upset. But I didn’t even want to meet Andrew again. Even, if he was interested in me. I wasn’t ready. Should I tell Josh? No! Instead I remembered what Molly told me. “So….” I said. “I could ask you the same” Josh looked at me questioning. “Are you really dating a college student?”

He seemed shocked when I said these words. I guess he didn’t expect me to know about it. “Well….” he answered. “I don’t” “So is this story that Molly told me just a lie? Did she creat the story in her mind? Or was it Eric?” I said ironically. “Um, no but….It’s nothing serious though” “Yeah, of course” I laughed. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong. I don’t have any right to criticize your behaviour but then please stop asking me about Andrew Garfield, okay?” “Okay” “I mean, you can date whoever you want. You’re free. We’re both singles. But please, talk about the pot calling the kettle black!” “Okay…well, sorry I just asked you” “And I asked you” 

While Josh was looking at me, I was looking into his kitchen. Only now I realized the many empty bottles of wine and liquor on the table. “What did you do?” I wanted to know. “Well, I had a few friends here last night and we drank” it was obvious that he lied. “Yeah, for sure” I pretended to believe him. 

I thought about the real reason why I was here today. I wanted to tell him something. Something really important.

“So um Josh” I started. “The real reason why I came here today is….” I paused. I looked into his eyes but he looked away. “Yes?” he suddenly looked up when I didn’t keep talking. “I’m going away” “What do you mean? Where are you going?” “Away” “Like….San Francisco-away or New York-away?” “No….far away. I’m going to Berlin for the next six months”

Finally I said these words. The words I was afraid to tell him. The words that made me go crazy in the last days. Finally it was spoken out. He knew now. 

When I said these words his facial expression froze. He was shocked. I saw it in his eyes and face. “What….why?” he suddenly asked. “Because I can work there and do some research for my PhD” “But….I thought you’re teaching here at university?” “I do….afterwards” “But why Berlin? Why so far away????” “Because I do research on German history so….it’s the best I can do. Doing research in this country” Silence. No one said a word. I didn’t know what else to say and Josh seemed still shocked.

“Eileen….seriously….why? I….you can’t just….go. You can’t do that!” his voice got louder. “But I have to. It’s for my job” “It’s so far away….I thought we can be friends but now you’re disappearing out of my life” “I’m not out of your life….I will come back in six months” “Yeah….or you find a boyfriend and stay there” “Haha, for sure” I faked a smile. “I love LA too much to do this and besides…..” I told him. “I don’t want a new relationship anytime soon” “Then why did you end ours? We were so happy….we’ve been through a lot….I still can’t believe it….I don’t want to” “Josh….I already told you” I sighed. “I wasn’t happy anymore. And if you’re not happy anymore and don’t feel the love you should feel for your partner then it doesn’t make sense to me” “When did you stop loving me?” he suddenly asked and looked into my eyes. Truth was, I didn’t know.

“Somewhere between all our fights and all these long distance months” I finally responded. “Long distance months? I was there….every two weeks I came back home” “But it wasn’t enough. I don’t know why but….I needed more. Although you came back you weren’t really there. Do you know what I mean?” “But I love you! I still do. I still go to bed and think of you before falling asleep and I think if you when I wake up the next morning. I can’t get you out of my head. And now you’re telling me you’re leaving? How can you do this to me?” “Well, but why do you fuck another girl then?” I said unfazed. At least I tried to look like that. I saw tears in his eyes. I never really saw him crying until I broke up with him. He always seemed so emotionless when it came to certain things in his life but right now….I was shocked. I didn’t want to see him this way. “Please, stay” he said and took my hand. “I can’t and you know why” “Why?” “Because….” I sighed and looked away. “Because I don’t love you anymore” Wow. Finally I found the words I couldn’t find in the last months. But when I said these words I felt that it was true. I didn’t love him anymore. Not like I should love him when he was my boyfriend. 

I knew it was hard for him to hear these words coming out of my mouth but now he knew.

Josh looked at me as if he couldn’t believe it. I noticed that he was still in love with me. It was the look on his face. I knew it. He pulled me closer, looked at me and softly kissed my lips. Although I let him doing it I pushed him away after a few minutes. I wouldn’t make sense. Not anymore. “What’s coming over you?” Josh asked. “I don’t know” I said. We were still standing in his kitchen, his hands around my hips but I needed to get away from here. Get away from him.

“I’m….I’m walking upstairs to get my stuff okay?” I stumbled before going upstairs do get my stuff. “It’s….it’s in my bedroom. I already packed it in two boxes” Josh informed me. “Oh, you didn’t do it?” I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I did” “You always do it….why?” “Because I don’t want the stuff of my ex being all around my house” “You already did it last time….” “Yeah and I hope I don’t have to do it a third time” he said. I was walking upstairs directly into his bedroom. I saw the two boxes standing next to his wardrobe. While taking it I saw his laptop on the bed. Facebook was opened and I was shocked when I heard the messaging-noise because it was so loud. While passing it again to get out of the room I looked at the laptop and realized that Josh was chatting with someone. And while taking a closer look to the screen I suddenly saw a familiar person on the small profile picture. “Eileen, what do you do there?” I heard Josh asking me from downstairs. I didn’t want to spend much more time in his bedroom staring at his laptop screen so I left the room in a hurry and went downstairs. Josh was still sitting in the kitchen.

“So, I have everything. I think I have to go now….” I said. But Josh didn’t let me. “Eileen, why? Why don’t you love me anymore? What did I do wrong?” he looked like a little boy who didn’t know what he did wrong. “Well....you didn’t talk to me” “About what?” “About everything. About your life….everything” “I know….” he sighed and looked to the floor. “But why Josh? Why did you stop talking to me?” He didn’t respond directly. I think he needed time to think about his answer but suddenly he told me why. And it was the first time ever I heard him saying these words.

“Because I felt so miserable. I felt so fucked up. I was feeling so bad because of the loss of our child. It was my life, you know? When you told me about the pregnancy, everything changed. My whole life changed. Suddenly there was a reason to be alive. I would be a father soon and I would have the responsibility to take care of someone, not just myself. It was so new to me and I was afraid but also very happy. But then….I lost everything” “But you didn’t lose me” “Yes but….I don’t know. I just couldn’t handle this situation. I shut myself off. I know it sucked and I know it wasn’t the right behaviour but….I couldn’t think straight.” He looked at me. His eyes were filled with tears. “I’m so sorry and I know I fucked it up but I think I was too afraid to tell you. I didn’t want to be weak….and then I saw you smiling again. You seemed happy again while I was still fighting. I wasn’t in the mood playing shows or travelling around the world. But I had to. It makes sense to me that you broke up but I still don’t understand it. I thought when you’re in a relationship, you try to fight?” “I did. I fought a lot. I tried to talk to you for months but you didn’t talk back” “Hm…..I know I’m a weirdo” “You’re not….you’re a great man, a warm and kind character. I’ve never met someone like you but….my feelings just slipped away” Josh didn’t say anything. “But now I have to move on with my life and so are you” I said. “What do you mean?” “Josh” I sighed. “Look at you. You look miserable. You look fucked up. I know you’re not feeling well and I know that it sucks because you have to play three shows in LA in the following days but please….stop drinking so much, okay? And if you have a problem then talk to people! Talk to friends, talk to Bob!” “I don’t have a problem” he objected. “But where are these empty bottles come from? I don’t think you invited some friends over to your house. You drank them on your own, am I right?”

I fixed his view and he looked back. I didn’t expect and answer but suddenly Josh spoke very open with me.  “You’re right. I drank all of them in the last days since coming back from New York.” He said. “I’m not proud of it but right now it helps me….I know it’s too much and I know I smell like a bar but….I just can’t stop doing it. I feel better when I do it, it helps me to get through the day. I know it’s a warning sign. I didn’t speak to Bob since the New York concerts because I was too afraid to loose him as a friend” “Josh, Bob would help you. He wouldn’t push you away just because you have a drinking problem” “I know….he’s a really good friend but….I just….” He couldn’t end the sentence. “It all started when I was at this concert on New Years Eve with my friends. Everyone came with their significant other but me. You know, the concert. We already bought our tickets for it.” He told me and I remembered it. In November Josh asked me if we should spend New Years Eve at a concert in a club in the valley. All his friends would go there. A local band played there. So I agreed. It made me happy that he came up with the plans. So we bought the tickets. When I broke up I told him I wouldn’t go there – which was understandable I guess – and I knew he would go with his friends. But I didn’t expect him to feel so lonely at that night.

“I was totally on my own and I felt so miserable. I wanted to cry but I didn’t. Instead I got drunk and….well then I met this girl and yeah….she’s a college student but she’s 25 or so” I didn’t comment what he said. I mean, I shouldn’t be mad or jealous, right? He had the right to have fun. Although I hoped that my assumption wasn’t true. “You’re often in bars, aren’t you?” I asked him. Josh nodded. “Yes….and sometimes I lost myself” “Josh, if you need help then let me help you. I can call Bob” “No” he said. “Please, don’t call him. I try it on my own. I don’t want to bother him with my problems. So….I try it on my own, okay? If I fail I’ll call him but….right now I’m not in the mood to call him” “Hm….okay but please take care of yourself. It’s not easy to stop drinking if you used to drank so much lately” “I know but….I promise I will do it and when you’re back from Berlin maybe we can try it again….time passed by and….” “No” I interrupted him. “Josh, you didn’t understand it. There won’t be a future of you and me. I don’t love you anymore” When I told him these words again Josh finally understood and almost collapsed.

I sighed and finally took my bag. “I have to leave now. So….I hope we can be friends some day”

Before I could open the door Josh took my hand again and squeezed me. We stood there, side by side, for a long moment. I smelled him again until I finally opened the door and left his house. 

____

The next day at work I was kind of absent. Only my body was there but my mind was far away. I thought about Josh’s and my conversation the whole night. It didn’t let me sleep. I still couldn’t believe that I finally told him that I didn’t love him anymore. It was nothing but the truth. What I didn’t understand  was why he was already dating a new girl. I knew it didn’t mean anything to him but why did he do it? Why did he always act like that? What was wrong with his personality that he always looked for affirmation? Just fucking around….getting wasted. I knew that it couldn’t make him happy. He wasn’t like that. But he pretended to be someone that he wasn’t.

When I came home last night I opened my laptop and logged into Facebook. I remembered the profile pic of the girl Josh was chatting with. I knew it was silly to do this research and I was sure that I was totally wrong with my suggestions but….I needed to check it out.

So I typed the name of one of the students from my boss’ lecture class in the search bar on Facebook. Two minutes later I was wiser. I was right. The girl Josh was chatting with was Laura Ganger. A college student. One of the best in the lecture class.

I called it a day.

So I was sitting in the same lecture class the next day. I only had to be present. My boss did the lecture so I didn’t have anything else to do. I don’t have to mention that I was very tired because I didn’t sleep at night but at the same time I was totally awake watching this girl. She was sitting in the fourth row and even took notes. She had long brown hair and always wore the perfect make-up. Her clothes were very fashionable as if she would’ve shopped in Paris or Milan. She was the complete opposite of an All-American Girl.

When the lecture was over I stood up and went to my boss to have some smalltalk. While most of the students left the auditorium, this specific girl didn’t. Instead she came towards my boss and me. She had a question. While she was talking with my boss I was looking at her. She wore a skinny jeans, some silver rose sneakers, a very skinny white t-shirt and a perfectly make up. I wondered what she did to her hair that it looked so perfectly. No wonder that Josh fell for her. I mean, she was very hot.

While I was still a bit lost in thoughts, my boss suddenly brought me back to reality. “Eileen, maybe this is your topic” he said and I faked a smile and said “yes” although I had no clue what he was talking about. “Laura wants to do an internship in Berlin next year and I thought maybe you have some connections. I mean, you worked there for a few years right?” “Oh um, yes of course” I stumbled. “You know, I have an appointment so what about giving Laura some tips? I’ll leave you two alone now. Bye!” my boss said and left the room. 

There was I standing. With the girl who was fucking my ex boyfriend right in front of me. There was only one question that came to my mind: why did he have to chose a student from my university????? From all these students in LA he chose someone I knew! Why???? Why universe, why???? Laura asked me where I worked in Berlin and I told her something about my time there. I even promised her to contact the museum I used to work for just to ask them if they needed an intern next year. I think I was one of the best ex girlfriends in the world. Because I didn’t want to talk to her further more I told her to come into my office the next day and I would give her more information.

So she knocked at my office door. I think she was the first student that ever entered my office. Wow, what a pleasure. “Hey Ms. Puritz, sorry I’m a bit late” she apologized. I just smiled and started telling her about her opportunities abroad. After my monologue she started asking so many questions – I answered them all. “So luckily I could spoke to my former boss in Berlin at the museum I used to work. He said that you should send them your application and then they will do a job interview with you via Skype” “Wow, really? That’s great news Ms. Puritz! Thank you so much!” “Well….not for that” I said humble as I was. “So….um and how is living in Berlin? Is it expensive? I heard the city must be great!” “It is! And not it’s not so expensive if you compare it to LA….I mean, surely there are districts where it’s hard to find an apartment but usually it’s cheaper than here. So you’ll definitely find a place to live. But we have some agencies at our university who will help you with this” “Wow….great. And how’s the flair in Berlin?” “Well, it’s very….urban. Cool people, not always as nice as here in LA. But they’re realer, you know” “And how long did you live there?” “I lived there for two years….” “Wow….I’m so looking forward to go to Germany and especially Berlin. I heard there are so many great clubs! And my boyfriend used to live there for a few months” Wow, for her Josh was already her boyfriend? I remembered what Josh told me about her so I almost felt a bit pity for her.

“So….thank you so much Ms. Puritz! How can I thank you?” “Well, it’s okay” I smiled. She was so nice and looked so perfect. Maybe a bit too perfect? There must be a catch, right? “I don’t know how to thank you so much. I always wanted to go to Berlin one day. My granny lived there several years” “Really?” I asked her. Now I was a little bit eager to hear her story. “Yes, after my grandpa died she started travelling around the world and she met a new man in Berlin and lived there for seven years but then she came back to the USA” “Wow, great story. Your granny seems to be a cosmopolit!” “Definitely….she was a great woman” And suddenly I realized that I had something in common with this girl Josh was dating: she wanted to visit Berlin and she missed her grandma.

After thanking me again she left the office. A few minutes later I decided to have a lunch break and get me something to eat. When I closed my office door I saw Laura still standing in the hall. She was talking with someone on the phone. While I was pretending to look at my phone I heard her talking.

“But babe….you said we can spent time before the concert…..I thought you already did the soundcheck yesterday…..well, okay….hm, but I didn’t see you in days. You’re always so busy….no, I understand it but….I thought you have time because your interview was cancelled…..hm….okay, well….”

She looked up, saw me and smiled again. I passed her smiling and then left the hall. Although she didn’t mention any name I knew whom she was talking to. It was Josh and he stood her up again….I don’t think he did it for the first time.

If I was honest I felt bad for her. She seemed very smart, likeable – although sometimes a bit annoying. But her heart was full of positivity.

Although I told Josh that I wasn’t in love with him anymore I was feeling bad. I didn’t know why I cared but I did. I cared about him having fun with this student. She looked so perfect, plus she was clever. She wasn’t a dumb girl. She was a woman. It scared me because I really wondered if he could fall in love with her some day? Maybe, if he would see her more often? Sometimes it happens. Surely Lara and Molly told me that Josh only did it to get over me but what if this girl could change his mind? She wasn’t as dumb as Chloe was. She was clever. Maybe too clever.

But maybe he only used her to get over me? I didn’t want to take too much time thinking about it. But if I’m honest….I didn’t want him to hurt her. Honestly, she deserved better.

When I was back home sitting on my bed I listened to one song on repeat. It reminded me of so many good times. Lara and I were hugging while listening and singing to this song on a concert. But right now the lyrics made sense to me. 

What came over me?

_________

“You're nervous by nature and just sitting next to a love and a statue to look and live up to so how can you stumble let anyone run you whatever will come true what will be will be Why don't you take your time to be the next one in line don't let go, don't let anyone know what's coming over you coming over you, coming over you what's coming over you coming over you” (Beatsteaks - What’s Coming Over You)

#rhcp #rhcp fanfiction #josh klinghoffer #red hot chili peppers #red hot chili peppers fanfiction #fanfiction #dot hacker

[wizardingbias]

HP!headcanon - NCT Taeyong

|| WIZARDINGBIAS - where your fave bands live in hakho’s hogwarts au ||

Character Headcanons ↳ NCT Taeyong // Taeyong Skye // Hufflepuff

okay my soft bebe this is my bias i’m not fucking ready

Taeyong the ultimate hufflepuff 

lemme tell ya it’s the truest truth that exists

Tae doesn’t look like it, but he is a fucking smol bean i will fight you

my biasssssssss fuuuuuuuck

this is really long

more under the cut

He looks so cool and composed until you see him trip over his own two feet 

bc uncoordinated as shit, he is, it true

and everyone at school is so intimidated by his large, dark eyes and his stoic expression when he’s walking down the hallways

werk it tae, werk it, give me sass, give me couture, yass

but all he really wants is friends, okay? 

like

desperately

but

he’s so

shy shy shy

In my au, Taeyong’s dad is Jaejoong and he was raised by this single, rockstar parent that takes time off from touring to properly raise little tae all on his own alright?

so, imagine little tae, smaller than the rest of the kids his age

clinging on to his father’s neck like a lifeline

at the age of four

tryna make friends but he can’t

bc he’s so shy

and his dad doesn’t pressure him into making friends bc Tae has anxiety from a smol age

so Tae’s best friend is his dad

and he has separation issues, okay? 

don’t imagine clingy, little bebe Tae looking up at his dad with large ass puppy eyes on the verge of fucking tears

don’t

it’s not good for your health or mine

and when Tae has to go to Hogwarts, he doesn’t show it bc he doesn’t wanna disappoint his dad but he’s freaking out over not seeing his dad every day anymore

so Jaejoong makes a promise on the condition that t-yong tries his best to get used to being appart

and Jaejoong takes up working as a music teacher at Hogwarts for Tae’s first year

this fucks me up bc i imagine tae crying in gratefulness bc his dad is honestly the best and such a softy and so much respect in those lil 11 y/o eyes

So for Tae’s first year, 

Jaejoong is close by but not next to him 24/7 so lil Tae can get used to being apart

and when some nights get really bad, he knocks on his dad’s quarters in the middle of the night

holding onto his lil elephant plushy he’s had since he was two

and sleeps in his dad’s bed until he’s all better the next morning

in the beginning of the year, it happened a lot

but eventually, Taeyong started sleeping better through out the night

So by second year, 

Taeyong’s able to attend Hogwarts without his dad being at the school

and lil tae comes out of his shell a little

lol also out of the closet

jk jk ;)

makes friends with the new transfer student Yuta Nakamoto

who’s in his Charms class but absolutely sucks at charms

but Tae’s really good at Charms

so Tae shows Yuta how to properly flick his wand

in his awkward lil way

and Yuta beams at him with his too big smile 

which makes lil Tae blush and run away

but they become the best of friends

and eat together at each other’s tables

and they have sleepovers even though Yuta’s in Slytherin and that’s not really allowed

bc the dorm rooms are so close

and sometimes, when Tae feels bad and misses his dad but doesn’t want to bother the headmistress and ask to floo home

tae slides into the slytherin commonrooms

just like he slides into dem dms

and into Yuta’s bed

and at first yuta is so confused, squinting at him like ‘what the merlin are you doing?’

but tae is quiet and just lies there until yuta falls back asleep

and ever since, Tae uses Yuta as a safe haven when things are rough

tradition bro

my heart for these two boysssssss

In year 3

Taeyong starts getting more friends

Taeil, a housemate

thank fuck he has someone in his own house to talk to and not be 100% awkward with

and Hansol, a gryffindor

both are older

and they adore lil Taeyong

especially after they get past the stoic and harsh expression

they’re like ‘he’s the ultimate bean’

i agree

and taeyong smiles so wide every time they great each other in the hallways

bc he has friends

lovely friends

especially yuta

his bestest friend

but sometimes yuta has quidditch practice

and taeyong understands nothing about quidditch

but will spend his afternoons watching yuta practice whilst he does hw on the bleachers

until it gets too cold

then he goes to his common room to hang with taeil

sometimes he picks yuta up and gives him homemade chocomilk bc it’s freezing

and the too-large smile he gets is precious

Taeyong likes taking care of his friends

In year 4

taeyong falls in love with divinations

bc it’s so mysterious

and cool

and can pretty much predict the future

and he loves to drink tea and have cookies during class time

awesome

but potion fucking sucks

it’s getting so hard

no fucking dirty thoughts there, my friend, don’t

but Yuta is fucking pro at potions wtf

so they study together a lot

especially during the weekends

bc yuta hates mornings but if he doesn’t wake up early the day is ruined

so tae wakes him the fuck up during the weekends

and helps zombie yuta out of bed

one day Tae sees in Yuta’s teacup something odd

i literally wrote taecup first kpop has ruined me

at the end of year 4, the tea leaves prove themselves true

and Yuta is heartbroken by the fact that Hansol has transfered school

and Tae comforts the shit out of Yuta 

with cuddles

and ice cream

and by distracting his best friend with homework 

and he even goes as far to discuss quidditch strategies with yuta

he fucking hates quidditch

but for his friends? he’ll do anything

loyaltyyyyyyyy

smolll beeannnnn

nct caring umma

In the summer between year 4 and 5,

Yuta, the fucking snake, convinces Jaejoong that it would be an amazing idea to bleach Taeyong’s hair

and tae is like ‘uh????? hell no???’

bc he doesn’t like people touching his things

especially his hair

he’s sensitive af

but somehow

definitely not a promise abt a new stereo system by his dad

Jaejoong convinces his son to bleach it

and it turns out amazing

according to yuta at least

taeyong isn’t so sure tbh

he looks even more unapproachable

intimidating af

enough to freak tae out every time he sees himself in the mirror

but yuta’s like

“don’t worry, chicks’ll dig it”

taeyong isn’t really comforted by that idea

on the ride back to school, he promptly freaks out a lil bit after people stared at him wide eyed at Kings Cross

but tae’s come a far away from his 11 y/o tail-between-the-legs puppy

he’s a tail-between-the-legs doggo now

and can kinda take the looks he’s getting

every time Taeyong’s unsure of himself

yuta’s there to give him a too big smile

the feeeelllllssssssss

taeyong’s also appointed prefect

he’s so shocked

“me? keep order? what?”

but Yuta’s like 

*healing smile*

and T-Yong does an amazing job at keeping others in line

it gives him confidence when people respect him

and when his housemates come to him for questions

especially underclassmen

they are so cute

“why are you so obsessed with the smol people?” Yuta asks

“i need to take care of them” 

determination af

but he fucking stutters or drools when he has to scold upperclassmen

they’re so big

tae is still smol

he hasn’t gotten his major growth spurt yet

and he’s upset yuta had his over the summer

whilst tae stays smol

he will always be my smol bean

Taeyong decides to keep his hair tho

even in 6th year

bc he accepts that he looks scary af

bc he’s surer of himself and not as shy

shy shy shy

it might also be bc a certain gryffindor told him it looks cool

tae lowkey obsesses over this lil gryffindor

thats two years younger than him

but so adorable

he finds out the gryffindor’s name is jaehyun

obvs not from yuta bc yuta is a snake and would tease him

but from a lil hufflepuff bebe he helps out with charms homework in exchange for this crucial information

this gryffindor likes quidditch

so tae tries to casually throw in his impressive quidditch knowledge to talk to jaehyun

remember the summer tae spent comforting yuta? 

yea that wasn’t too bad now that tae thinks abt it

except

jaehyun is kinda into this other dude in slytherin

and no matter what tae does

jaehyun doesn’t look at him like he looks at doyoung

so tae sulks

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

he probs cries too

so emotional

so soft

so smol

and finally yuta figures out that tae has a serious crush

his first serious crush

Yuta’s all like

“my lil bun”

same yuta same

BUT

HE SUDDENLY GETS HIS GROWTH SPURT

LIKE

IN THE SPAN OF TWO MONTHS HE’S GROWN TO 175CM

which isn’t all that much considering some of the other people in his year

cough johnny cough

but he’s so happy abt that so who cares

taeil’s graduation comes

and he cries

like the baby he is

and clutches onto taeil’s robes hard enough to lift the short older boy up

he’s not used to being so big

and almost crushes taeil with his new found strength

yuta thinks he’s weird

Year 7

oh no fuck 

it’s exam time

Tae isn’t too stressed

he’s not really planning on doing anything particularly hard

but he likes the idea of cooking

and opening his own lil restaurant or something

but fuck potions

potions is fucking him the fuck over and even with yuta’s expert potions skills

he’s almost failing

also, fuck

he’s elected HeAD BOY

more like boiiiiiiiii

he’s so honoured

and even though he didn’t really want it

he cries during his speech

bc “thank you so much for trusting me, everyone”

TTTT-TTTT

and he takes care of everyone 1000000000000%

so sweet

such mommy

but this year gets better

bc Jaehyun notices him

and stuff happens 

especially after Tae

ever the klutz

accidentally spills fruit punch all over Jaehyun over the christmas break

(he’s staying over bc he feels the responsibility of overseeing the other hufflepuff’s who are staying that they have a nice and cozy christmas too

he organises a gd party and secret santa and games and gives everyone a present and a stocking and gives a long ass speech about love and serenity and shit)

but jaehyun is so nice and laughs it off

but tae helps the gryffindor wash out the stains in the bathroom

and they just click

finally

and Tae goes to every single one of Jaehyun’s games

and cheers for Jaehyun with banners and hats and fireworks

even when he’s facing Yuta

but not when he’s going against Hufflepuff

bc as head boy

tae’s gotta support his family bruv

but he always wears a lil badge with Jaehyun’s jersey number during those games

shit gets serious when Tae suddenly,

like grown ass seventeen year old tae,

climbs into Yuta’s bed in the middle of the night

like he used to do in second year

and Yuta’s so fucking confused

cuz they don’t do impromptu sleep overs anymore

(there was in incident)

but Tae is freeaaaking ouuuttt

“What the fuck, bro?” 

“Bro.”

“What?”

“Jaehyun-”

“What happened?”

Yuta’s suddenly all defensive and is in total war mode

bc no one hurts his bebe T-Yong

except

“Jaehyun just kissed me.”

and cue yuta’s too-big-smile

bc tae is freaking out over his first ever kiss

and this is amazing

and Yuta is so excited and pulls taeyong into the biggest cuddle ever

“MY SMOL BEAN HAS GROWN UP”

“i’m older than you”

“shh”

this is too cute my heart hurts

maybe i’ll do a separate post on jae and tae’s relationship in depth if people want 

and Tae’s never been happier

even though he barely passes his potions N.E.W.T.’s

and graduation is so emotional

his father comes

and performs his latest rock song

bc he’s fucking embarrassing

but taeyong cries

he’s so touched

and yuta also cries

which makes tae cry harder

and younger hufflepuff’s that he’s taken care of cry

they also give him flowers

and good luck on his internship at the hottest wizarding restaurant in London

taeyong sobs

ugly and snotty

and jaehyun just laughs at him so much

and they go all go to Tae’s childhood hosue

and Jaejoong and tae cook for everyone

and it’s so different from all the meals with just him and his dad

he has so many friends

a large, extended family

and so much love

and he cries again chopping the onions

and jaehyun comes to snake his arms around his boyfriend’s waist

“are you crying because you’re t-yongie or because of the onions?” 

“i’m t-yongie” tae sobs

it’s too cute

my heart

and jaehyun laughs at this adorable lil baby

same jaehyun same

I’m emotional

More stuff will probably come later on but this was basically an overview of Taeyong’s life at hogwarts. Feel free to stop by my ask to ask for more :) it can be about anything (hint jaehyun and taeyong’s relationship, or maybe yuta and taeyong moments, or headcanons for other members, whatever you’d like :)))))) )

↳ Taeyong’s official profile

Taeil | Hansol | Johnny | Taeyong | Yuta | Doyoung | Ten | Jaehyun | Winwin | Mark | Haechan (will update over time)

#nct #nct taeyong #taeyong #lee taeyong #nct 127 #nct hp au #nct hp!au #nct hogwarts au #nct hogwarts #nct 127 hp au #nct wizarding au #headcanon #nct headcanon #nct imagine #nct scenarios #hufflepuff!taeyong #jaeyong #jaetae #taejae #what is this ship even called #nct yuta #nct jaehyun #nct 127 headcanon #taeyong headcanon #kpop #kpop wizarding au #kpop hp!au #kpop hp #kpop harry potter #wizardingbias

[laurent-plays-exy]

Chapter 13 of The Raven King (second book in the All for the Game series)

I'm on the second book in the All for the Game series. So my bby is Andrew and before this chapter of the book I got to last night, he was boo, bae, you know. AFTER THIS CHAPTER HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. JUST READING THIS SCENE MESSED ME UP AND I ACTUALLY CRIED. REAL TEARS. IT WAS THAT BRUTAL. So he is on these medications that make him SUPER high all the time so he always smiles. The saddest part was you KNEW he was in a world of pain but was always reminded he was smiling. Andrew was more concerned for his friends and his brother than he was for himself even though he was the one that received ALL the damage. So the group goes to Nicky's family for a dinner (they don't get along) and the dad brings someone from Andrew's past and tells Andrew to go talk to him in the other room. Well, he protests but goes anyway to please the father. While he is gone, Neil, the main character (I ship him and Andrew. It becomes cannon later) is doing this whole thinking process and putting bits and pieces together about this guy from Andrew's past. WELL, IT CLICKS and I didn't get it at first but he drags Andrew's brother up the stairs to the room with him and grabs a racket. Well, the brother is like...WTF BRO. So Neil gets to the door and breaks it DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. Well here is where I got messed up. So basically they are both bloody because there was a good fight put up, but Drake (the guy from his past) is brutally raping Andrew who is badly beat up and bleeding. So before Neil can even react, the brother (who wasn't really even in good terms with Andrew EVER) bashes the shit out of Drake and kills him. And ANDREW STARTS LAUGHING BECAUSE HIS MEDICINE WON’T ALLOW HIM TO BE UPSET OR ANDRY REALLY. SO BABY DADDY NEIL RUSHES TO HIS SIDE AND you know they all are like...holy shit. And ANDREW THIS LOVABLE CINNAMON ROLL IS LIKE "Aaron (the brother), did he hurt you ?" And Aaron is like TF NO I KILLED HIM ARE YOU OKAY ?! And Andrew is like..."As long as he didn't hurt you" and I'm like ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. HE CARES MORE FOR AARON WHO WASN'T EVEN TOUCHED THAN HE DOES ABOUT HIMSELF. I CRIED. I DIED. ANDREW WENT FROM BAE TO I MUST PROTECT THIS POOR BOY AT ALL COSTS. So Andrew wears these arm bands that cover his arms at all times that also hide knives CUS he is an adorable psycho. Well the cops are called so Andrew takes them off for Neil to hide and there are so many scars on his arms from self-inflicted injury there is no more soft skin. No part of his arms are untouched. And it HURT ME SO BAD. So Drake was his foster brother for so long and instead of exposing him for raping him all the time, Andrew cut himself to keep himself quiet. He didn't want to ruin the parents ideas of their son who they thought was an angel. EVEN THOUGH HE WAS RAPING ANDREW THIS WHOLE TIME FOR YEARS HE KEPT QUIET FOR THE SAKE OF THE PARENTS. I LOST MY SHIT. I AM DEVASTATED. I AM SHOOK. IM RUINED.

#tfc #the Raven king #the foxhole court #rant #book #messed me up #trigger #rape #blood #trigger warning #self harm

[gladysnmccary]

[INTERVIEW] Jack Black Gets Candid About Music, Movies, and Games

Jack Black and Kyle Gass of Tenacious D are ready to blow the roof off The Bomb Factory in Deep Ellum.

Tenacious D released their last album Tenacious D in Post-Apocalypto last year and will be bringing it live to DFW. The duo is scheduled to perform on October 19th. Doors will open at 7PM and the music will be unleashed an hour later. Cinema fans may recognize the band from the cult movie classic Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, which followed their legendary journey to rock and roll immortality. Click here to get tickets or find out more information about the concert and venue.

Of course, Jack Black is no stranger to the big screen or music. He headed up the award-winning movie School of Rock and has starred in numerous other blockbuster hits such as Shallow Hal, King Kong, Nacho Libre, and the Jumanji reboots. Since he is heading to Dallas next month, we thought it might be a good idea to catch up and see what we can expect from his debut at The Bomb Factory. Jack was kind enough to agree and what followed was one of our funniest and most open interviews to date. Take a look at what he had to say and also be sure to hear Tenacious D bring the “spicy mustard” to Deep Ellum later next month!

You've received numerous awards for acting in blockbuster movies and you have a successful music career. What would you consider your highest achievement thus far?

Probably School of Rock. That was like my tombstone. That's my biggest gig and my big breakthrough. I've gotten a lot of satisfaction from Tenacious D. Every album is like a baby because that one's all mine. You know? The writing, directing, and starring in each one of those projects.

Are there any projects you've done that you regret?

No. [laughs] No, none that I would ever admit to.

You’ve actually got a new movie, Jumanji: The Next Level, coming out later this year.

That one I definitely don’t regret; that’s for sure.

You’re known for being a gamer. What games are you currently into?

I’ve been playing this golf game on my phone. My phone has ruined my gaming career because I was all about the Xbox until my iPhone took over my life. Now there's a game called W… Is it called WTF? It can’t be called WTF. Hold on let me look… It’s called WGT Golf.

Close enough.

Yeah, it's a great golf game for your phone. It's a great app, but they found a way to suck all the money out of my wallet and it's a pet peeve of mine, all these f*cking phone games. They can be fun, but I'm from a generation where you bought a game and you were done buying sh*t. Do you know what I mean? You could play the whole game for your 50 bucks or whatever it is. Fifty bucks seemed like a lot of money for a game back in the day.

Now, with these little crappy phone apps with the in-app purchases, you can spend hundreds of dollars on stupid ass games. The graphics are not better than my rad Xbox games. They figured out a way to rig the system and I hate them for it. But, in the meantime, I continued to just give them my money because I'm a sucker.

You are spot on with that. I can't think of a truer statement I've heard today.

I keep on meaning to play Red Dead Redemption. I’ve started playing it but I’ve just scratched the surface. I just can't carve out the time in my life, you know. I’ve got kids and I’ve got jobs. I am looking forward to retirement when I'm in the old folk’s home and really catch up on all those video games that I've let fall by the wayside. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Let’s just hope the arthritis holds off so you can do that.

I guess that would f*ck with my gaming. But you know, those Rockstar Games like Red Dead and the Grand Theft Auto don’t require all that much finger strength or speed. It's more like watching a movie. It’s like Bandersnatch where it's a hybrid between a movie and a video game. Did you check out Bandersnatch?

I heard it was awesome. So yeah, I had to check it out.

Hell yeah! That's the future. It's half game and half movie. It won an Emmy for Best TV Movie and I thought that they deserved it, just for the innovation of the choosing your own adventure style. It’s so rad and exciting. Those Black Mirror folks know what they're doing. They’ve got some good episodes too.

Speaking of Hollywood, you apparently made some comments a few years back that offended some folks involved in making superhero movies. Let's go ahead and bridge that void. You were considered for playing Green Lantern before that movie came out. What superhero could you see yourself playing?

Yep. Then they gave it to the pretty boy and you see how that turned out. Great job Hollywood. You sure f*cked that one up. Mine was going to make a billion dollars but, you know, hindsight is 20/20. And I don't begrudge him; I like that guy's new superhero movie as long as he keeps the mask on. Just don't take that mask off because that's when everything gets f*cked. What's his name again? I can't remember his name.

Ryan Reynolds?

Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Ryan Reynolds. I do enjoy the twists and turns that his career has taken because it took him a while to get it going, but now he's on fuego. More power to him. What was the question again? What would I want to do?

What superhero movie would you do or what superhero would you be?

You know, I'd have to be some fat pain in the @ss. Maybe Penguin would be a good role for me or maybe Thing. If you put me in the right muscle suit made of rocks I could be the Thing from Fantastic Four.

I don’t know, man. I’ve seen you do Chris Hemsworth’s workout and you nailed it. Don’t sell yourself short.

Oh yeah! No, I I've got some upper body strength. It's just covered in fat. I'm trying to think if there's any other good fat superheroes, but nothing's coming to mind. Maybe I could be, like, Buddha. That’s not a superhero, he's a religious figure. He's the king of the of the Buddhists. His power could be that he can float around and talk to animals. He's pretty rad. He's real mellow and super Zen.

You may have to work that into your next album.

I'd like to play Buddha. You think they could work him into the MCU?

I don't see why not. It seems, at this point, that they let anybody in.

But I definitely would get in trouble for taking an Asian-American role; that could actually be the end of my career. So, there's that… Do you remember how much trouble Tilda Swinton got in? She got into big trouble for playing that role in Dr. Strange. So, you don't really want to f*ck with that. In fact, next question please.

Fair enough. So, Tenacious D used to be a popular basketball term. Why did you think it was a good idea to apply it as your band’s name?

Well at the time we thought it was hilarious, but in retrospect it was pretty dumb. It's not a very good name for a band, and it's not even really funny anymore. I don't know. Tenacious D. We thought it was just pure gold. It's funny how things somethings age well like a fine wine, but that name for a band is kind of like aged mayonnaise. You don't want to be called Tenacious D. But you know what? It served us well.

It's just among a list of lots of great bands with crappy names. The Beatles? That's a dumb name. I guess because it's a bug and also the word “beat” is in there. So, it's like they keep the beat. Just another dumb name for a band. Another dumb name? U2. It’s just the letter U and the number two. That's some high school sh*t. My point is that it doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is the content. Do you bring the spicy mustard sauce? If you do you'll be all right.

I read that years ago you would trade Kyle Gass food from Jack In The Box for music lessons. Who got the better end of that deal?

Oh man, that's a tough one. Those music lessons were crucial, but have you ever had Jack In The Box’s seasoned curly fries? Those are some of the best french fried potatoes in the world. I started leaking in my mouth just now. I'm going to call it a tie.

Will we ever actually get to hear the greatest song in the world?

There is a school of thought that it is the song in the Pick of Destiny, Beelzebub. But, you know, it's always a matter of opinion. That's the joke of the greatest song in the world. It's not really a definable thing. It's not really a measurable quantity. Scientifically, it doesn't make any sense to say something is the best song in the world. That’s the joke. It's in the ear of the beholder. One man’s eargasm is another man’s sh*tty music.

For those who've never been to a Tenacious D concert (or even those that have been), what can they expect from your upcoming concert in Dallas?

Well, for those audience members that are old enough to have seen Pink Floyd’s The Wall, that's what it's being compared to. It's a rock opera. It's epic. It's powerful. It's hilarious. It's rated R. Some say it’s rated X but I'm just going to say it’s a really hard R.

Are you keeping your clothes on?

I keep my pants on, but it's all animated. There's, like, a lot of drawings that will be projected on the screens around us. There’s full penetration, but it's like a really bad cartoon drawing trying to do it. It doesn't seem like it should get the same rating as a pornographic film. You get away with a lot more. Have you ever see the movie Sausage Party? You know you never would have been able to do any of that sh*t if it wasn’t a cartoon.

I was thinking that you were going to say Team America.

Aw, the best! You know, there's an unrated version that has an even funnier though sex montage. They went with, like, a full Cleveland Steamer, but only in the not rated version. You won’t get that on TV. You're not going to get that on iTunes or iMovie, but I highly recommend it. That is one of the greats.

I wouldn't call a rock opera, but man can they write some funny songs. Ah, Team America World Police… It all came down to that one weird homeless person, sort of, moral of the story. Know what I mean?

Yes, I do.

Genius and true. You can't really argue with it. They also did it with Book of Mormon. Did you see that show?

That is one that I have not seen.

They crack the code on Broadway, dude. It is the spiciest mustard, every bit as spicy as Team America. Somehow, they made it so we're laughing our @ss off, but then you look over there and there's an 80-year-old grandma laughing her balls off. How do they do it? It's like some kind of magic trick. It's wizardry.

They definitely have found a way to make some hits. Are you ready for few rapid-fire questions?

Yeah.

Favorite singer?

I'm going to go with that Aerosmith guy.

Favorite song?

I'm going to go with that AC/DC song, Shake A Leg.

Instrument you wish that you could play?

Accordion.

Song you hate to admit that you like?

What’s that song again by Chicago? I’m going to have to look it up. F*cking Chicago, dude. They are my guilty pleasure. I want to nail it. [He proceeds to cuss out his iTunes for not allowing him to log in so he could search] If You Leave Me Now, that’s it.

What would a song title be for the story of your life?

Wow… Sh*t, it would be really embarrassing to say because I've had a very charmed life, so it’d be something like Juke Box Hero.

Now I’m going to give you a subject and I want you to tell me the first word that comes to mind.

Okay.

Kyle Gass

Brother.

Nickelback.

What's that one jam? It’s their biggest hit. [Proceeds to belt out a few lines from the chorus of How You Remind Me] Only one word?

I’ll let you slide and use a couple if needed.

This is unfair, but I'm going to go with cheesy. If I only get one word it’s cheesy.

Fair enough. Next topic, pirate metal.

What's that? Pirate metal? One word? Um, arrrggghhh!

I didn't know what that was until about a year and a half ago. Apparently, it's heavy metal music with pirate lyrics. That may be right up your alley.

That's a new genre to me.

Taylor Swift

Trouble.

Do I want to know why?

You be careful if you date Taylor Swift. She's going to write it song about it. She will cause you a whole world of hurt.

The next and last topic, Texas.

I'm going with barbecue.

Good answer.

I want you to spell out barbecue, not just BBQ.

Are you sure you don’t want me to put the word “Bar” and the letters BQ?

No. Come on...

Alright, I'll have to edit it. No acronym. That's all the questions I had for you. I appreciate it.

Absolutely man. Thank you. I’ll see you at the show.

The post [INTERVIEW] Jack Black Gets Candid About Music, Movies, and Games appeared first on I Live In Dallas.

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[naiiiiiy4-vi]

Mindless Rant

Okay this may make me seem like a brat but I stg I’m just stressed and bothered and I just want to listen to BLACKPINK and go to sleep or cry but I can’t and I know that if I don’t get this out I’m never going to and it’s just gonna stay in there forever. So some background about this: Milestones (Literally EOG/EOS testing but I think they only have it in Georgia??? Idk I know they have it in Indiana and stuff but it has a different name but ANYWAYS) testing is currently going on and I’m rlly stressed like pulling my hair out crying until I pass out or die from dehydration stressed. I’m practicing so that I can just get my grade even though I know that no matter how hard I try, I’m not gonna meet the standard or I’m not gonna make my parents or teachers proud and I just want to give up. But the current section is math and I have my gum and all and I’m ready. I think I’m ready. But I go into the test and I take too long and I have to end the test before I’m done from running out of time like I have to every year, knowing that I’m gonna get any grade back and just be a disappointment because I wasn’t good enough, because even my little sister in FIFTH GRADE got better marks than me. because I’m stupid. I’m a disappointment and I’ll never be good enough. So I’m expecting the worst as I go throughout the day and I’m tired I just want to sleep or eat or something and I get to art and I’m so emotionally distraught that I practically ruin my entire painting and in band I couldn’t play right and I keep forgetting at F is one finger and G is open, not the other way around. Everything felt like it was collapsing in on itself and in English we were starting a project and I had no idea what I was gonna do. And I know people have it worse but in that moment I couldn’t think about anything else but than how I was gonna fail and people were gonna hate me even more and that makes me so fucking selfish and I just wanted to give up, to hit pause. So I read some and then get yelled st for reading and I just want to cry and so I do, I break down and everyone thinks it’s just because of the books being taken and “oh she’s a brat wtf this is why she never talks lmao let’s go make fun of her” and so I have to deal with that. My other friend doesn’t want to talk to me and I know I can’t consult with my older sister because what is she gonna do? So I just deal with it and it piles up and up and up and I want to just stop time and take a nap but I have responsibilities and so I put up with my exhaustion and I do stuff I do homework I work I do what I’m told. And I just want to collapse but I can’t. Dinner comes and oh yay food but oh no chores and I know everyone has chores and responsibilities but it’s building and building and getting bigger than I can handle and I get yelled at once for messing up and being ticked off at my brother and I just start crying and my dad keeps yelling at m and getting angrier with me and I know I’m a disappointment and a mistake but can you lay off? But it hits the tower of stress and it hits it and it crumbles and here I am now in my room, writing this post, and I’m trying my hardest not to cry because if I do I won’t be able to stop. And guess what? My fucking brother comes back up to me and says “You need to do trash” like the parents literally said that he had to do trash? Screw you? I already want just break down? You heard what they said and now I’m repeating it because don’t worry I’m irrelevant and I don’t matter. Because, like you’ve said many times, nobody would care if I just disappeared and left. Nobody would miss me. People would actually cheer. So thank you, brother dear, for being so kind. That’s also why I don’t understand healthy relationships with siblings like I’ve had such a toxic relationship with everyone in my family (immediate or not, blood related or not, actually in my life or not) that a happy life and a healthy family that spend Friday’s together and play games and act out plays together seems foreign, alien to me. It feels forever away and, true fact, I thought THAT was what made movies fictional. Happy, healthy family’s. Or siblings. Dipper and Mabel. Literally every other relationship. These kids get a gentle slap on the face once and call it abuse, but I get beaten both verbally and physically where it could definitely leave marks every day and I’m not allowed to complain. Because I’m irrelevant. Because I don’t matter. Because nobody would care if I just up and disappeared. This is to the point of where I have literal dreams that my family is together and that they care for each other and that mother has time to take care of me and ISNT scrapping for every single penny, and that father is actually around sometimes and that I didn’t have to go through this alone. This is to the point of me not knowing how to respond to people talking to me casually without being snarky and pushing them away in fear. This is to the point of where I’m staying in my room all day and only leaving when I need to. And this is gonna sound iver the top emo but to the point of where I can now click the ‘yes’ box for the question ‘have you seriously considered harming yourself/harmed yourself on purpose in the past 20 days for at least 16 of the days?’ Like this shouldn’t happen to me (or anyone, really). I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I feel like I’m living a lie. This has been my mindless rant. If you read it all, thank you. Thank you so much. I had to get that out and I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better in the future.

[pensiveintrovert-blog1]

Why Fan Girling?

I actually don’t know how to start writing this but this is my journey of being a fan girl and my heartfelt thoughts about being a fan girl. 

Being a fan girl is not easy, it has it’s ups and downs, highs and lows, and it can make you a little selfish of your idols. As you can see I’ve been fan girling most of my life, it probably started when I was a kid Hello Kitty and Filipino shows such as ANG TV, etc but it was short lived as I lost interest in watching television and mainly read and listened to music, that was the time when I started to fan girl slowly from NSYNC, BSB, STEPS, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, S Club 7 and many more but I was just a lowkey fan girl buying their cassette tapes and listening to them every single day, I just continued that habit of mine listening to music while reading books. 

 Not until I was able to use the internet, I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when I started to use social media, I started with Friendster, MySpace and Multiply hahaha I also learned how to use youtube so from there I started watching my fave singers performances and man was it a hassle to use the internet before, oh and I can only use our computer and internet on weekends so hassle pa more! 

 I lived a monotonous life during my elementary and high school days it was always home-school-home that was my routine I seldomly get the chance to go out and spend time with my friends. I was basically a home body and that’s when I started to feel alone and it spiraled down to me being shy and aloof to others. Music was my only way of coping and expressing how I feel. I can never leave our house without my mp3 player and earphones, it became my security blanket during those times. 

Come mid 2008-December 2008 as I was searching for new songs on Youtube I came across a video of a certain kpop group (which I didn’t know who at that time yet cause I was more of a western music fan), watched it and I seemingly liked the melody of the song as I started humming the chorus after listening to it once, but it was just in passing so I just continued searching for new music and forgot the melody, not until a few days later when I hummed the tune again out of the blue, that’s when I started to get curious I searched for the song again on Youtube and it turns out the title was Marry U by Super Junior who has a whopping 13 members, since I had a hard time recognizing the members of the group as they have many, I just casually started to browse the videos on the right side of the tab and came across BIGBANG’s Haru Haru and I found myself liking the video and searching for performances for it, add to the fact that I easily remembered the members names as there are only 5 of them. That’s how my fan girling for kpop started I knew SuJu first but got hooked on BB but eventually I got hooked with SuJu as well, it was in 2009 that I started to learn about girl groups the first one I encountered was Girl’s Generation they were promoting Gee during that time but I didn’t have a liking towards them on the get go but I did research about them but I was more inclined to BB and SuJu during that time not until I heard their song “Way To Go” that’s when I started to have a liking towards them. I was starting to get hooked to kpop already during that time but I guess the biggest contributor to me being a kpop fan is knowing 2NE1 the most bad ass girl group ever (for me of course) I believe that they were the ones whom made me into the kpop fan girl that I am today. As the year went by I knew other kpop groups such as SHINee, FT Island, f(x) and KARA, there were other groups that caught my eye but the ones written above were really the ones I am fascinated with. I also created my twitter account this year and used it to fan girl over kpop as I have a fear of being judged (well I was still judged anyway).

During those times I started to watch TV again but mainly because of taiwanese and korean dramas, due to my liking of kpop music I leaned more into watching kdramas, if I remember correctly I finished Princess hours within 24 hours (addict much hahaha).

2009 was the biggest year for kpop as their music started to get known worldwide, but it was also the year of my first trial as a fan, scandals broke out here and there that year and I didn’t know what to do, I was affected, but barely had any updates cause internet was still slow that time (well till now) and I was really busy with school. Thank heavens I was able to surpass that and continue on with my fan girling.

2010 went by with a blur new groups arised but only one caught my attention CN Blue, I already love the band concept of FT Island so another one won’t hurt. This was also the year that I started to participate on voting for awards show, voting became a habit for me and also watching music shows weekly, I learned to watch via livestreams to be able to be updated. 

I basically live and breathe kpop, my alarm tone was a kpop song, the songs I listen to when I take a bath is always kpop, I even forgot to listen to western music as I only listened to kpop and nothing else.

2012 was the start of me fan girling hard as in real hard, I was finally able to watch a concert and man was I so happy and emotional that time, add to the fact that we got inside the venue late and we weren’t able to see the opening, I was so disappointed during that time but I was also happy to hear my favorite songs and cried during Haru Haru. That was the start of a promise to myself that I will watch a kpop concert yearly especially when it’s my faves, and I was able to do it sometime even watching 2-3 concerts a year.

During those times I met so many people who have become my dear friends and we all started as online friends, that’s why I’m a firm believer of being friends online is good.

2014 was probably my hardest year as a fan, I have adapted the how tos of being a korean kpop fan that I don’t want anyone being with my oppa, he can’t date and all that shizz, so when Sungmin announced he’s dating and going to get married, man did I get angry af! I hated him and the girl he’s dating, I said mean words to them, I bashed them hard. I was hurt, in my mind that time oppa is only mine no one can have him, I was that immature. I also lost the will to fan girl because I was badly hurt, I lay lowed and just read updates, also took the time to reflect and that was when realization hit me, I had done something wrong and bad, I hurt the people whom have been my inspirations with my immaturity. I apologized dearly to both Minnie oppa and Saeun unnie and I was ashamed at myself for what I did, I tried to stay away from fan girling but I guess it’s already embedded in my blood. I still continued on with my tradition of watching concerts, but after BB’s MADE concert I layed low for the time being as work is getting the best of me during that time as well, but something happened in 2015 that I didn’t know I would ever do in my entire life. 

I was never fond of watching TV, I would either watch k dramas on the internet or spazz around in my twitter account for my fave kpop artists, most likely about concerts and such. Being a social media savvy I always check the twitter trends in the Philippines and I noticed that a certain #ALDUB was trending for a few days already, being the curious me I clicked the ht and saw tweets about a certain Alden Richards and Yaya Dub, that got me to thinking, wow they must have so many fans for them to be consistently trending every day and mind you, they’re always on the number one spot. So my curiosity really got me and had me watching the episode the next day which happens to be their second weeksary. I was confused at first when the episode started since I wasn’t able to watch the very first ones, then here comes Lola Nidora with gigantic bags under her eyes, Yaya Dub being locked in the limousine, then a riding in tandem comes with a giant pink teddy bear and hands it to her and lo behold it was from her on screen partner Alden Richards who looks like an angel who has fallen down from heaven. I forgot how the episode ended that day but I decided to watch it again later that night, I pulled an all nighter and watched the first episode up to the latest episode and I was instantly hooked, who would’ve thought that a kpop fan like me whose world revolves around kpop and kdramas would fall in love with a local LT? 

I was never an avid fan of a local LT until ALDUB came and I must say they have really changed my life, in terms of my personality I am becoming more of an optimist now rather than a pessimist unlike before, I learned to wait, as in really wait for the right person to come into my life and do not rush into things.

One thing that I don’t understand though is why is there always a need to compare the two, I mean they are a team right so why is comparison needed? That’s the most shocking thing for me, oh and the bashings and shadings as well I mean I am accustomed to the bashings already because heck in kpop they bash most of the time, but in here it’s like the two are always doing bad things wherein fact it’s the opposite?

This is also the only fandom I entered that have so many feeling KIA people oh and those who act like their mothers and tell the two to do this do that, I mean they have parents of their own so why don’t people just let them be? 

I can withstand all the bashings thrown at the two but I’m tormented by those who act as if they know everything about the two, wherein fact they haven’t even had the chance to talk to them, some though act that way cause they have already taken a selfie with the two like wtf? 

Being a fan of Maine and Alden has its ups and downs but it is so worth it. I would just like to give thanks to Maine and Alden for being able to bring out the optimistic side of me and for never giving up, thank you also for all the new friends that I have met because of you. I now have a new family because of you. Always remember this we will always be here, ready and armed to protect the two of you. No matter what happens, we will never give up.

For now I am laying low again on fan girling as I actually lost the will to do it after what I went through last December, but rest assured I will always be here to support and pray for my idols.

So this is my story.

PS. parts of this entry is written in my journal.

PPS: I wrote it when I was so goddamn emotional so forgive me for that.

#thoughts

[turnabouttoothbrush]

Reckoning, Chapter Four

Today’s sporkers: Anna and PR.

(Welcome back everybody!)

PR: OKAY, THAT’S WAAAAY TOO CHEERFUL.

Anna: Hey, it’s the first work Narration-kun has had in months... cut them some slack...

PR: LET’S JUST THE FIC STARTED. I THINK OUR READERS HAVE HEARD ENOUGH WHINING ABOUT OUR TO-DO LIST FROM THE OTHER SPORKERS.

Anna: We do have a couple things we need to draw...

PR: I SAID LET’S GET STARTED!!

Last chapter:

I ended up choosing a table by a window, glancing out often as I ate. I'd never gotten to see the outside world much.. When I was nearly finished though, I noticed that my wrist was bleeding. Fortunately it was the one with the black wrist band, so if it stained, it wouldn't be noticeable. Xaldin noticed it at about the same time I did and insisted on taking me to the restroom to take care of it. I was a little confused when he smiled at me right before I went inside and he leaned against a wall. This seemed familiar, I thought, minus the smile from Xaldin, walking into the bathroom. All that was really missing was…

"Axel," I whispered, freezing as the door closed behind me, and I stared straight into Axel's striking green eyes.

PR: LAST CHAPTER: WHAT THE FUCK ARE BOUNDARIES?

Anna: Seriously, what is the point of copy/pasting the last two paragraphs of the previous chapter...?

"Hey, Roxas, what's up?" Axel asked with his usual cool voice,

Anna: You’ve known him for a collective twenty minutes at the most.

coming toward me. I took a shaky step backward, making him stop.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, panicking. Was this a coincidence?

PR: REALLY?

Did fate enjoy fucking with me all the time so that I had to be miserable constantly? Seriously; Xaldin was right outside the door, there's no way Axel could leave the bathroom without Vexen knowing, and Vexen was going to hurt me badly for this...

"Just taking care of some business with Vexen, unless he left you here," he said smiling at me as he placed a hand on his hip. "Then I'd be free to pursue you, right?" he asked, letting his hand fall to his side as he approached me again.

I shook my head, backing up until I met with the door and Axel stopped in front of me. "I-I told you to forget about me," I said,

Anna: *as Axel* Yeah, I know. But this is an AkuRoku fic, so stuff like “respect” and “social convention” doesn’t actually apply to me.

PR: *as Roxas* Ah. Fair enough.

trembling when he tenderly placed a hand on my cheek. 

PR: WTF IS PERSONAL SPACE?

Why wouldn't he just listen?

"I can't, Roxas," Axel said softly, rubbing his thumb along my lower lip, but stopping when I looked up at him, terrified. "I've tried."

Anna: *as Axel* It’s just that I’m reeeeally into statutory rape, and you’re the only underaged character in this fic who isn’t related to me.

PR: OOPS, SPOILERS!

Anna: Oh, who cares...

"Please leave me alone," I whispered, looking away, "You're going to make things worse again. Besides, Xaldin's right outside the door…"

I didn't respond to Axel's touch when he grabbed a hold of my shoulders and pulled me toward him, I was too busy thinking about how badly this meeting with Axel could go for me. My back pressed against his chest and he slipped an arm around mine just before opening the door slightly. "Xaldin," he called out, "could you come in here?" I started to shake again from fear as soon as he did.

"What's wrong Roxas?" Axel asked, close to my ear. I couldn't believe Axel. Why had he done that? Did he want Vexen to murder me later?

PR: WAS THERE A SINGLE READER WHO HADN’T FIGURED OUT THAT XALDIN IS WORKING FOR AXEL BY THIS POINT IN THE CHAPTER?

Anna: Or before? Considering he “knocked out” Xaldin back at the Waffle House even though he’s like, a third of his size.

PR: ROXAS BOY YOU DUMB AS HELL.

"Relax," Axel said gently, giving me a reassuring squeeze, "Xaldin's working for me. Isn't that right?" he asked as Xaldin entered. Xaldin glanced at me, nodding. The action didn't make me feel any better. I didn't trust either of them.

Anna: Okay, yeah, you are picking between two ephebophiles with no regard to your personal boundaries, but Axel didn’t buy you from your dad with drugs.

PR: WITH THE WAY THIS FIC IS GOING, I’M SURE HE WOULD HAVE IF GIVEN THE CHANCE.

Anna: I won’t deny that. Although if that happened I’m sure the author would present it as a good thing... you know, like all those other lame stories where the MC is bought essentially as a slave but their new owner is ~nice~ and ~only did it to save them~ but inevitably has sex with them before granting their freedom, if they do at all.

PR: I’D SAY THAT’S FUCKED UP BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN MUCH COMING FROM ME.

"So, Xaldin's like a double agent?" I asked cautiously, looking up as Axel nodded. "So, last time at the restaurant was..?"

"Fake," Axel replied.

Anna: Being slung over Axel’s shoulder? That was just him supporting himself. He was hovering.

"What's your business with Vexen?"I asked suspiciously, remembering what Axel had said when he'd first spoken to me. I saw Axel's eyes darken before a malicious smile played across the red-head's lips.

"You'll see," he said. I didn't like that smile.

PR: REST ASSURED IT’S GOING TO BE SOMETHING GENERALLY CONSIDERED EVIL AND ROXAS WILL NOT CARE BECAUSE AXEL IS THE GOOD GUY AND HE IS A SOCIOPATH.

I'd never seen anybody look as shocked as Vexen did when Axel came into his view, still holding me in front of him as we walked. It was probably mostly due to the fact that Xaldin was by his side, not doing a thing to stop him.

Anna: Xaldin, you fool... play your hand like this...

"Heya, Vexen," Axel said cheerfully.

"Axel," he said, looking at the red-head with contempt. He was very good at keeping emotion out of his voice, but not so much his face as he surveyed the scene.

PR: THEN WHAT’S THE POINT OF KEEPING IT OUT OF HIS VOICE...?

Anna: Phone conversations?

"Xaldin," he said darkly before glancing at me menacingly. Axel must've felt me tremble in front of him because he hugged me tightly to his chest. "Showing our true colors are we Xaldin?" Vexen asked. His tone still dark. He glared at Xaldin once again before turning back to Axel. "Is there something you want?" he asked Axel.

"Well," said Axel smirking as Xaldin pulled out his gun, pointing it at Vexen, "initially, your life, but since you brought Roxas along, I'm going to take blondie here while I'm at it." I tensed when Axel said that but at the same time felt a little flutter of… was that possibly hope?

PR: AHAHAHA! DUDE, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES YOU ARE A SLAVE BEING STOLEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE HUMAN CHATTEL EVEN IN AXEL’S POSSESSION. YOU HAVE, AT THIS POINT, BEEN GIVEN NO INDICATION THAT THIS IS NOT HOW IT’S GOING TO GO DOWN.

Anna: Also, there’s that casual disrespect of personal space again! I wonder if we should have started up a count for that. ...meh, it doesn’t really matter.

Vexen's eyes widened at the statement as the seriousness of the situation registered in his brain. He was unarmed, there was a gun pointing right at him, and Saix wasn't protecting him at all... "Why the hell aren't you protecting me?" Vexen asked panicking and rounding on Saix, who was next to him. The blue-hair seemed to be in shock. "Are you with them too?" Vexen demanded. He looked a lot like a newly caged animal as his panic began to set in. He obviously thought everyone was against him, unfortunately for Saix. Saix tried to deny knowing Axel and said that he didn't even have a weapon,

Anna: What kind of useless bodyguard is he?

but Vexen wouldn't listen to him grabbed a hold of Saix's long hair, dragging him in front of him, before pulling out Xaldin's knife.

Axel covered my eyes just before a scream of pain could be heard. Vexen must've stabbed the blue-hair several times by the sounds of it before Xaldin got the chance to click the safety off of his gun, making him stop.

"That's enough, Vexen," Axel said coldly, "I don't know the kid. Maybe you should've picked better body guards," he said, turning me around pressing my face into his chest so I couldn't see what'd happened. It's not like it would've mattered if I'd seen what'd happened to Siax anyway; violence was nothing new to me.

PR: *as Roxas* Vexen could have killed Saïx right in front of me and I wouldn’t have felt a damn thing. I wonder what’s for dinner?

Anna: ...hang on, did the author just misspell one of the characters’ names? That’s never a good sign.

PR: THEY WERE ALREADY MISSPELLING “SA¨IX” AS “SAIX”, CALLING HIM “SIAX” WON’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

For some reason though, Axel wanted to protect me.

Anna: Yeah, because you’re his new toy!

"Xaldin, hurry and call 9-1-1," Axel said. He seemed to be very concerned about Saix. Guess he wasn't as much like Vexen as I'd thought.

Anna: Or maybe he just wants to be able to throw the sex slaver here to the cops...

PR: AND I’M SURE HIS PRIMARY MOTIVATION FOR DOING THAT WILL RHYME WITH “TRISON GRAPE”.

Xaldin nearly protested until Axel reached behind his back and pulled out his own gun, pointing it at him before Vexen. "Now," he said. I saw Xaldin nod before putting his gun away and running past the shocked patrons who still remained at the restaurant and were hastily taking their leave.

"Why would you hurt your own man, Vexen?" Axel asked shaking out of anger. "Would you have done the same to Roxas if he were sitting next to you as well?"

Anna: I... actually completely forgot that the only reason why Axel “cares” about what just happened to Saïx is because, well, he’s ~scared~ that Vexen coulda done that to Roxas instead.

PR: SERIOUSLY, IS THERE AN ACTUAL REASON WHY HE’S SO OBSESSED WITH ROXAS?

Anna: He’s cute. No other reason given. Or needed, apparently.

PR: FUCK THAT...

he asked, raising his voice and gripping me protectively. I felt cold as Axel said that. I already knew Vexen would've.

Vexen was silent. I wondered if he was glaring at Axel. "Why do you want my life anyway? Did Roxas say something to you?" Vexen questioned, "I'm sure we could work something out,

PR: *as Vexen* We could share. How do you feel about Threesome Thursday?

you don't have to make such a hasty decision or jump to conclusions because of something a sixteen-year-old said."

Axel glanced at me questioningly

Anna: *as Axel* Wait, you’re a minor?

PR: *as Axel* Well, you know what they say... age on the clock, old enough for the cock!

Anna: “Sixteen” isn’t on the clock, PR.

PR: IT IS IF YOU’RE USING MILITARY TIME.

Anna: But then it goes up to 23, which kind of ruins the joke...

PR: BUT IT ALSO GOES TO 0...

Anna: *visibly nauseated*

but resumed his conversation when I refused to look at him. I didn't want him to find out what Vexen'd been doing to me for a while. Not if I could help it. "Do you remember a body guard you had that you killed about two weeks ago named Reno?" he asked Vexen.

"What about him? He broke the rules, so he deserved what he got." Vexen said. He seemed oddly calm considering the fact that a gun was pointed at him. It was like he didn't believe Axel would really shoot him, as opposed to Xaldin.

"That was my brother you son-of-a-bitch," Axel growled,

Anna: I’ve been told that making Reno and Axel related is fairly common in late-2000s KH fic. I don’t think this has any basis in canon, though.

PR: TO BE HONEST, I’M NOT SURE WHO RENO IS, ASIDE FROM BEING FROM ONE OF THE FINAL FANTASY GAMES.

clicking the safety off.

"W-wait," Vexen started, "I didn't know..."

"And by the sounds of it, you've done some sort of major injustice to Roxas," Axel continued, sounding entirely pissed, "that alone should be compensation for me killing you. Your day of reckoning has come, you sick bastard."

"N-no wait, I don't want to-," Vexen started.

"Well, see you," said Axel, ignoring Vexen, pulling the trigger, and ending his life.

"I hope you enjoy hell."

PR: YOU FOOL! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THE ONELINER BEFORE YOU SHOOT HIM!

"Roxas?" Axel asked when I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing the red-head tightly. "Roxas, what did Vexen do to you?" he asked, lowering his gun, putting it where it should be and resting his chin on top of my head. "Roxas?" he asked gently once more, but stopped when he noticed that I was crying.

Anna: What was he expecting? AkuRoku fic or not, he barely knows you at this point, dude.

PR: ALSO YOU JUST STRAIGHT-UP KILLED SOMEONE IN FRONT OF HIM BUT, WELL...

"I'm sorry," Axel whispered, "don't cry, please."

Axel misunderstood me as he wrapped his arms around me and apologized again and again, trying to calm me down. I wasn't upset; far from it. I was crying because I was happy. For the first time in over ten years, I felt relief.

PR: *as Axel* I am so, so sorry for graphically murdering someone right in front of you, I’m sure that must have been traumatic to see, not matter what that guy’s done to you. Death’s not an easy thing to face.

Anna: *as Roxas* Dude, that was awesome! :D

Axel relaxed when I finally stopped and gave me a light squeeze before letting go. He didn't want me to look at Vexen and even tried to stop me, but I hit his hand away and looked anyway. I wanted to see Vexen dead. I'd wanted to ever since the first time he touched me.

PR: I BET YOU FOOLS THOUGHT WE WERE KIDDING.

We both looked at Xaldin when he reappeared and went over to a now unconscious Saix, checking his pulse before reclaiming his knife. "The paramedics should arrive soon, and Saix should be alright," he said aloud, taking off Saix's shirt and ripping it up, wrapping up the blue-hair in makeshift bandages to stop the bleeding.

Anna: Why’s his hair bleeding?

He wiped his knife off on Vexen's shirt before sheathing it. "We should get going, Axel," he said, walking toward us.

Anna: Because, you know. You just shot someone in the middle of a McDonald’s and we know law enforcement in on its way. You might get a little bit arrested once they get here.

PR: HA. AS IF THAT EVER COMES UP.

Xaldin stopped in front of me, unable to look me in the eye. "Roxas, I'm so sorry about the other day, I-I wanted to stop Vexen but…" he stopped when I grasped his hand.

"It's okay, Xaldin, I understand," I whispered.

"You should come with us," Xaldin said, squeezing my hand. I nodded in agreement. Where else could I go? If I went home, which I wasn't even sure where that was, it'd just be more of my dad abusing me, and selling me. Now that Vexen was dead, so was his drug supply.

PR: AND YET IT’LL TAKE THE AUTHOR A LONG DAMN TIME TO CASH IN ON THAT PLOTPOINT...

Axel's car was black and sleek. The red-head opened the door to the back seat for me, helping me inside before going around to the other side and letting himself in. Xaldin drove. We left only minutes before the paramedics arrived.

"Won't you get in trouble for killing Vexen?" I asked as Xaldin took off at a faster speed. Axel crossed his arms before leaning back.

Anna: *as Axel* No, the police don’t exist in this fic.

"It'd be worth it for you and for Reno," he said,

PR: WHY IS A GUY YOU JUST MET LIKE TWO DAYS AGO ON THE SAME LEVEL OF IMPORTANCE AS YOUR BROTHER?

Anna: Because he’s cute, remember?

PR: AND UNDERAGED, I’M JUST SAYIN’...

closing his eyes before I looked out my window. "I'm really sorry if I upset you, Roxas," Axel said, apologizing again. I looked at him, he was watching me closely. I shrugged looking out my window some more. It was nice to be able to, since Vexen had never left me alone before.

--

I must've fallen asleep in the car, because I woke up on a spacious bed, not remembering how I'd gotten there. I turned onto my side, a little startled to see Axel lying next to me.

Anna: Dude! Seriously! Boundaries!

He must've fallen asleep beside me with the light on since I could see him so clearly and it was night time. I bolted upright, panicking slightly and checking my clothes to make sure they were still on. I eased back down, relaxing when everything seemed to be in order.

PR: HE COULD HAVE JUST RE-DRESSED YOU. JUST POINTING THAT OUT.

Anna: PR, he’s one of the Good Guys™, remember?

PR: HE’S IN A GANG AND JUST CARRIED OUT A REVENGE KILLING IN A FUCKING MCDONALD’S. OH AND KIDNAPPED THE GUY’S CHILD SEX SLAVE TOO, DON’T FORGET THAT.

Anna: I guess Roxas sort of went voluntarily, to be fair...

PR: IF WE’RE PLAYING BY CONVENTIONAL MORALITY HERE, THEN HE SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT HIM FOR THE POLICE!

This must be his room, I thought, stretching a little and inching a little closer to him. I froze when he stirred, furrowing his eyebrows just before stretching and opening those beautiful eyes.

"Roxas," he whispered, his emerald eyes immediately finding my sapphire.

PR: PETITION TO LIGHT EVERY AUTHOR WHO’S EVER REFERRED TO EYES AS GEMSTONES ON FIRE.

Anna: Be nice!

I opened my mouth to speak but no sound would come out as he inched closer to me, raising a hand to brush my bangs out of my eyes. I flinched when he touched me, so he waited until I relaxed before sitting up a little so he was hovering over me. "Roxas," he said quietly, pushing me onto my back. He needed to say something, so I listened. "Ever since the first time I saw you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," Axel said, looking away.

Anna: *as Axel* It’s almost like the author really, really wants us to hook up, logic and plot be damned.

I didn't move or speak, unsure of what to think. "Now that Vexen's gone, could you consider letting me in?" he asked, leaning closer to me. I froze, knowing he was going to kiss me, or at least wanted to badly. I decided to let him. He had saved me after all…

PR: IN A BETTER FIC, THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN INDICATION THAT DUE TO ALL THE WHORING, ROXAS SEES HIS BODY SIMPLY AS A COMMODITY AND IS WILLING TO DISPASSIONATELY OFFER IT (OR PART OF IT, ANYWAY) TO AXEL IN ORDER TO PAY HIM BACK FOR RESCUING HIM. HOWEVER...

Anna: ...this isn’t a better fic, so here it’s just an excuse to have them kiss...

Warm, soft lips caressed my own. The way he kissed me made my lips tingle. He was so much gentler, so much more patient, not forcing his way into my mouth right away.

PR: RIGHT. HE GAVE HIM A WHOLE TWO SECONDS TO MENTALLY PREPARE HIMSELF FOR IT!

He was not at all like Vexen, who was possessive and jealous, or the others. I tensed as I remembered. Axel kissing me made me remember it all; the rape the abuse… even though he was nothing like that, he still made me remember, and I started to cry again. Axel stopped as soon as he noticed.

"Roxas?" he asked looking down at me concerned and a little hurt as I cried harder.

I looked away. "If I said no," I began, trying to calm down a little, "would you rape me just like everyone else?"

Anna: Are we finally establishing some boundaries around here?

"That son-of-a-bitch," Axel muttered darkly as soon as I'd asked. I could tell that he was absolutely furious, cursing under his breath. He returned his attention to me after a moment, pulling me up into a tight embrace, which I fought until he said something. "I would never do anything like that to you Roxas," he murmured soothingly into my hair. I returned the embrace, sobbing into his chest as I had my second long cry for the day. I nearly missed what he said, I was crying so hard.

"Why didn't you tell me, Roxas? I would have protected you."

PR: BECAUSE HE DIDN’T KNOW YOU UNTIL YOU MET HIM AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE THE OTHER DAY? LMAO WHAT KIND OF FUCKIN QUESTION

Anna: You’d think his immediate reaction to hearing his love interest was raped would not be pulling him into a hug without any warning or consent.

PR: OH, I GUESS THAT’S NOT THAT BAD, IF IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IMPULSIVE.

Anna: True, but it mentioned Roxas struggling until Axel spoke. Why’d Axel just start talking to him instead of letting him go when he, y’know, clearly didn’t want to be touched and had some trauma specifically about unwanted touching?

PR: BECAUSE HIS HEAD’S UP HIS OWN ASS. NEXT QUESTION.

Anna: Wanna get some pizza after we leave the theater?

PR: YEAH, I GUESS WE ARE PRETTY MUCH DONE HERE...

(And so Anna and the Plot Reaper leave to go grab some nice white sauce pizza. Tune in next time for unbearable, tooth-rotting, jarringly out-of-place fluff and no actual plot progression!)

To be continued...

#sporking #kingdom hearts #anna #pr #rape warning

[justjoeyyy-blog-blog]

Day 16-18

5-30-17 Day 16: It's 320am. I just went to a crew party. I got to talk to a lot of people. I went with rain so of course we had a good time. I met another girl with autism today. We clicked and we hung out the entire night. She said she wanted to stay and I told her I was leaving in which she gave me a huge hug and we talked about seeing each other the next day. 20 minutes later my roommate storms in saying that after I left the girl went into complete panic mode: trying to kick and punch everyone around her, throwing anything she could find, and screaming at the top of her lungs. Because of her age group she is allowed to sign herself out before 10pm. After that a parent has to pick you up. She was not aware of this and had a meltdown. I wish I would've been there to help her. I ran into her mom tonight and we chatted. I told her that I would really like to see her daughter again. Back at home she has a service dog that is able to detect when she is going to breakdown. She's not used to being without her dog which is probably very different and difficult for her. It makes me fall even more in love with my kids back at home. I think about them every single day. I compare things to them constantly and all of my friends know about them. They're my first babies and I miss them so much. I think about their faces when they see me again. I tried to get pizza tonight. There was no line so no reason for him to be rude. And of course he was a fucking prick and questioned me on my contract...saying I can get the pizza I want later on in my contract. Then all of the employees behind me got whatever they wanted. One of the guests noticed and mentioned to me how rude that was of him and how many employees have been rude to her and her friends. Sadly she's not the only one who has said that to me. 5-31-17 Day 17: Today has been a long freaking day. Mostly because it was a sea day and I've been nauseous since I woke up. The rocking has been really bad this cruise. Today I saw dolphins next to our boat. It was really cool. They were all jumping out of the water. I honestly don't even remember what I did today. I got stuck in the elevator for a little with 2 other employees. We were all looking at each other like oh shit. Well it's 11:17 pm and I'm about to pass out. 6-1-17 Day 18: new passengers came on the boat today. They always ask the stupidest questions it cracks me up. During the safety debriefing youth staff hands out wrist bands to kids 12 and under. It's a safety thing that is in the policy. People see that our hat says youth and we're only going up to little kids yet everyone says what's that? Do I need one of those? Or puts their arm out. Some lady put her arm out today for me to put the band on her and I looked up and said are you 12 or younger and she just walked away. She looked young and was short so she easily could've been! Another lady asked me what time the loud buzzer goes off. I guess these are reasonable questions it just gets annoying. Because camp ocean is so small we've been having the 9-11 year olds go to the conference room. Which of course is my group for the week. Which means everyday we have to load up games and shit onto a trolley and take it down there. And then when we're done bring it back up and so on. We have like 2 board games, nintendos, and crafts. So parents show up and are like wtf is this. Some dad walked in today and goes where's all the toys?! Then I have to awkwardly explain everything and also talk about how we do other activities not needing materials. I did registration today which I like, it's just kinda nerve racking sometimes because if you don't tell them everything then that's an opportunity to complain and trust me they'll complain. One lady came in today to register her kids. We asked if her son had any special needs or food allergies in which she said no. 10 seconds later she says well my son has autism spectrum. First off it's "he has autism" or "he's on the autism spectrum" not he has autism spectrum. Ugh. And that is a special need. Not sure what world she lives in. I told her if she wanted more details she could read the schedule provided in which she said I ain't finna read dat. These guests are crazy. I have a safety drill tomorrow at 10. I fucking hate them. Anything having to do with my uniform is terrible. The polos are hideous and make my big boobs look even bigger than they already are. I ordered magnets from amazon and got them today. I wish I could explain the look on my face when I opened the box. I took everything else out that I ordered then picked up this tiny box of what I thought were 2 nails. I opened it and it was my magnets. All 100 of them. The size of my pupils. No joke. I could not stop laughing. They work fine it was just so not what I thought I was ordering.