#I MEANT JOE ELLIOT'S PART
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Let It Go {Joe Elliot x reader}
Warning: Smut lol
A little while ago, Joe and I were talking about becoming more comfortable around each other. Meaning, that he and I would start by being naked in front of each other. I wasn’t sure about the whole thing because I was very insecure with myself. It wasn’t until this morning that I decided to do it. This morning during breakfast, Joe and I began to talk about this idea.
“Joe, I think I’m ready,” I said before taking a sip of my tea.
“Are you sure, babe?” He asked me, “I don’t want to force anything if you aren’t comfortable.”
When I finished my tea, I stood up and went over to his side. I kissed the top of his head, “You are so sweet my love, I’m sure that I’m ready.”
It was three in the afternoon and we decided to start now, so I went to our shared room and closed the door. I began to undress very slowly, I began by taking off my red shirt and then my ripped jeans. I waited a few minutes before taking off my bra and my panties. Once I finished undressing, I went to the hanging mirror on my wall.
I sighed at the sight in front of me, that body in the mirror is not the body I want. Why would Joe want a girl like me when I look like this? Small breasts, these pimples, my-
“Baby?” I heard that all too familiar voice coming from the other side of the door, “Can I come in?”
“Joe, I’m nervous…” I walked over to the door and whispered to him.
“Well don’t be.” It wasn’t aggressive the way he said that. Whenever he says things, anything, you can hear just how much he cares.
“I don’t wanna scare you away….” My voice trailed off and he opened the door, I didn’t fight to keep the door closed. I tried to cover parts of my body like my breasts and my lower area. When I was finally face to face with Joe, he smiled. It was a smile of reasurrence. I was about to open my mouth and say something, but he spoke first.
“Holy, shit,” He whispered, I pretty much turned away from him and then he turned me around again, “You’re so fucking gorgeous…”
Of course he would think that, “You’re just saying that,”
“Do you want me to prove it to you?”
I honestly had no idea what he meant by that and I hesitated, “What do you mean?”
I looked into his green eyes, he seemed confused because I didn’t know what he was talking about. His soft hands grabbed mine and rubbed the back. He kept his mouth shut, he wasn’t telling me anything about what he was doing. He got down on his knees and let go of my hands, then moved them to my thighs. He moved them around and just let his fingers move around on my skin like he was trying to find something. Then, he stopped, leaned forward and kissed my belly.
“You are the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen…” His voice was quiet, but powerful. I felt a sudden rush through my body, almost as if something was coming. I shivered because of this rush and a smile grew on his face in response to that. He looked as if he was planning something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
“Joe, what did you mean by that?” I asked again, hoping that this time he would respond to me.
“You don’t know?” His voice was full of confusion.
“Nope…” I trailed off.
“Sex…” He whispered and that’s when it clicked. I had to admit that I was innocent, I really didn’t know anything about sex and I became nervous again.
“I- Joe, I’m a virgin…” I whispered.
“Then, will you give me the honor of taking your virginity?” He had a soft smile.
“I, I don’t know about this.” I stuttered. Joe’s smile did not completely fade, but somewhat left. Again, the opportunity for this was so close, but my nervousness was getting the best of me.
“I promise, I will guide you through it babe. If it hurts, I’ll stop. I would never try to hurt you, ever.” He grabbed my hands and that beautiful smile reappeared. I returned a smile, “Okay, love, I’ll do it.”
He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My pussy rubbed his jeans and I let out a quiet groan. His buldge began to form in his pants. He set me down on the bed and he undressed himself. I set myself on my elbows and watched in awe at the man infront of me, “holy shit,” I whispered.
He climbed on top of me and I let myself fall against the pillows. I sighed as he placed a light kiss on my lips. My eyes fluttered shut as he began to kiss along my jawline. He continued to kiss along my skin and then he stopped at my right breast.
“So perfect…” He murmured and began to suck, I let out a moan. The rush came again and I shivered once again. He lifted himself up and I groaned from the sudden emptiness, “Are you ready?”
I hesitated for a moment, “Yes, yes I am..”. He nodded and slid inside of me. I whimpered a little bit as he began to move.
“Babe, do you want me to stop?” He asked me and I shook my head.
“Keep going…” He nodded once again and began to move again at the same pace, which was fairly slow.
“Joe, faster, please…” I moaned. He began to move slightly faster, almost as if each thrust was faster than the last. Sweat began to form on our foreheads as we kept going. Eventually, the pain turned to pleasure and the sounds of our moans filled the room and we were both sure that the neighbors could hear us. We didn’t care though, we were too wrapped up in each other.
Joe suddenly let out a loud groan, “Fuck…” I opened my eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed though, so I took the moment to look at the gorgeous man, the sweat on his forehead dripped onto my skin and his cheeks were red from the feeling, his lips were parted as his breaths synced with mine. The intense feeling of euphoria filled the room as both of us reached our climaxes and we both let go.
“Wow…” I whispered.
“Yeah, wow,” He let himself fall against my chest. I had never felt so good and I thought that I would never feel good, but Joe made me feel so good, he made me feel a feeling that I had never felt before. Just like earlier, Joe began to kiss my skin once again, but this time traveling furter down. His face went between my legs and I held myself up with my elbows because I couldn’t see him.
Before completely disappearing between my legs, he looked up at me and smirked. After going down, his tongue moved along my folds. His movements seemed to be so perfectly timed. My hands gripped his hair as I moaned loudly, for the fourth time today, I felt that rush. Joe lifted himself up for a moment and looked at me, “You taste so fucking good.” I moaned again. Joe smirked and began to lick once again, this time even faster then last time.
“Oh, fuck…” I whispered, “Joe I’m gonna…..”
“Cum for me baby,” and so I did, all over his face. He rose up and his face was really close to mine.
“You got a little something here,” I giggled and I pointed to my own face.
“I do?” He asked, but very obviously knowing what I was talking about.
I smiled at him and leaned forward to lick some of it off. He seemed to like it, so I kept going. After I finished, I leaned back down and he stood on top of me. We looked into each other's eyes and he leaned down to kiss me.
“You’re gorgeous babe, I hope you know that.” He smiled. I kissed his cheek and smiled.
“I love you Joe, thank you for being here for me.” I said.
“I love you too. I will always, always be there no matter what.”
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life may suck but yk what doesn’t suck? listening the ult def leppard / struts crossover. i screamed into my hand. it’s midnight
#AH#I KNEW IT WAS COMING THERE#I FUCKING KENW IT#BC LUKE ANNOUNCED IT ON HIS IG#AND I SENT IT TO MY MOM#BUT OH MY GOD#OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EXPECT THE CALL#OH MY FUCKING GOD#I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HIS PART JUST CAME IN#FUCK#OH MY GOD#OH HOLY SHIIIIT#I MEANT JOE ELLIOT'S PART#BC I FORGOT NOT EVERYONE WAS RAISED W CLASSIC ROCK#OH MY GOD PHIL'S IN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#HIM AND ADAM ARE SO POWERFUL TOGETHER#FUCKITY#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOE JUST LAUGHED LIKE THE BEGINNING OF ANIMAL#BYE#LOSING MY SHIT#(as tho it wasn't obvs...)#.mp3
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“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.
But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.
The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”
We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.
It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”
It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.
(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)
And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.
So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”
That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.
Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.
Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”
By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.
In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”
The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”
In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”
This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)
A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”
Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.
For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”
Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.
The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.
Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)
As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”
Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”
All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”
Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”
During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”
While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”
For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”
Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”
So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”
Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.
Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.
The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”
This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?
Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”
#suicide m#transphobia m#Elliot Page#transgender#representation#celebrities#actors#tv#movies#rep#trans#transmasculine#nonbinary#queer#long post
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127.
Bold the ones that you know of!
2000
1.Who Let The Dogs Out? -Baha Men
2. All The Small Things -Blink 182
3. Amazed -Lonestar
4. Oops, I Did It Again -Britney Spears
5. Graduation -Vitamin C
6. Bye, Bye, Bye -N*Sync
7. Independent Woman -Destiny’s Child
8. Let’s Make Love – Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 4000
10. I Turn To You – Christina Aguilera
11. I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden
12. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi
13. Breathe – Faith Hill
14. Shake Your Bon-Bon – Ricky Martin
15. Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65
16. Goobye Earl – Dixie Chicks
17. Let’s Get Married – Jagged Edge
18. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
19. The Real Slim Shady – Eminem
20. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child
21. It’s Gonna Be Me – N*Sync
22. Party Up – DMX
23. Sexual (Li Da Di) – Amber
24. Country Grammar – Nelly
25. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter
2001
1. Hanging By A Moment -Lifehouse
2. Allin’ -Alicia Keys
3. All For You -Janet
4. If You’re Gone -Matchbox Twenty
5. I’M Real -Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule
6. Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me) -Train
7. Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Eve ft. Gwen Stefani
8. Thank You -Dido
9. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) -Blu Cantrell
10. Independent Women Part I -Destiny’s Child
11. Again -Lenny Kravitz
12. It’S Been Awhile -Staind
13. Stutter -Joe ft. Mystikal
14. It Wasn’T Me’ -Shaggy ft. Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent
15. U Remind Me -Usher
16. Where The Party At -Jagged Edge With Nelly
17. Angel -Shaggy Featuring Rayvon
18. Ride Wit Me -Nelly Featuring City Spud
19. Peaches & Cream -112
20. Follow Me -Uncle Kracker
21. Drive -Incubus
22. What Would You Do? -Alicia Keys
23. Survivor -Destiny’s Child
24. Lady Marmalade -Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & Pink
25. Ms. Jackson -OutKast
2002
1. A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson
2. Hot In Herre – Nelly
3. Complicated – Avril Lavigne
4. Girlfriend – N Sync & Nelly
5. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne
6. Can’t Fight The Moonlight – LeAnn Rimes
7. Dirrty – Christina Aguilera
8. A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
9. Heaven – DJ Sammy
10. Gimme The Light – Sean Paul
11. The World’s Greatest – R Kelly
12. Jenny From The Block – Jennifer Lopez Featuring Jadakiss & Styles
13. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith
14. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch
15. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue
16. The Game Of Love – Santana Featuring Michelle Branch
17. Young’n (Holla Back) – Fabolous
18. She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd
19. Starry Eyed Surprise – Oakenfold Featuring Shifty Shellshock
20. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
21. Say I Yi Yi – Ying Yang Twins
22. Just A Friend 2002 – Mario
23. Hey Baby – No Doubt and Bounty Killer
24. Work It – Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott
25. U Don’t Have To Call – Usher
2003
1. In Da Club -50 Cent
2. Crazy in Love -Beyonce w. Jay-Z
3. Get Busy -Sean Paul
4. When I’m Gone -Three Doors Down
5. Ignition -R Kelly
6. Baby Boy -Beyonce w. Sean Paul
7. This is the Night -Clay Aiken
8. Bring Me To Life -Evanescence
9. Right Thurr -Chingy
10. Unwell -Matchbox Twenty
11. Picture -Kid Rock w. Sheryl Crow
12. Drift Away -Uncle Kracker & Dobie Gray
13. Get Low -Lil’ John & The East Side Boyz
14. Beautiful -Christina Aguilera
15. I’m With You -Avril Lavigne
16. Miss You -Aalyiah
17. 21 Questions -50 Cent & Nate Dogg
18. Shake Ya Tailfeather Nelly -P. Diddy and Murphy Lee
19. All I Have -Jennifer Lopez & LL Cool J
20. I Know What You Want -Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey
21. Magic Stick -Lil’ Kim w. 50 Cent
22. Bump Bump Bump -B2K and P. Diddy
23. Flying Without Wings -Ruben Studdard
24. Here Without You -3 Doors Down
25. Work It -Missy Elliot
2004 (my birth year !! )
1. Yeah! -Usher
2. Burn -Usher
3. This Love -Maroon 5
4. The Way You Move -Outkast
5. If I Ain’t Got You -Alecia Keys
6. Hey Ya! -Outkast
7. I Don’t Wanna Know -Mario Winans
8. The Reason -Hoobastank
9. Confessions Part II -Usher
10. My Immortal -Evanescence
11. Naughty Girl -Beyonce
12. Let’s Get It Started -Black Eyed Peas
13. My Boo -Usher and Alecia Keys
14. She Will Be Loved -Maroon 5
15. The First Cut Is the Deepest -Sheryl Crow
16. Toxic -Britney Spears
17. Someday -Nickelback
18. I Believe -Fantasia
19. Breakaway -Kelly Clarkson
20. Slow Jamz -Twista
21. Dirt Off Your Shoulder -Jay-Z
22. Freak-A-Leek -Petey Pablo
23. The Way -Clay Aiken
24. Numb -Linkin’ Park
25. Dip It Low -Christina Milian
2005
1. We Belong Together -Mariah Carey
2. Let Me Love You -Mario
3. Since U Been Gone -Kelly Clarkson
4. Hollaback Girl -Gwen Stefani
5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams -Greenday
6. Don’t Cha -The Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes
7. Candy Shop -50 Cent
8. 1, 2, Step -Ciara and Missy Elliot
9. Gold Digger -Kanye West
10. Don’t Phunk With My Heart -The Black Eyed Peas
11. Drop It Like It’s Hot -Snoop Dogg
12. Shake It Off -Mariah Carey
13. Disco Inferno -50 Cent
14. Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson
15. Beverly Hills -Weezer
16. Just a Lil Bit -50 Cent
17. Lose Control -Missy Elliot
18. How We Do -The Game & 50 Cent
19. You & Me -Lifehouse
20. Soldier -Destiny’s Child
21. Rich Girl -Gwen Stefani
22. Mr. Brightside -The Killers
23. Oh -Ciara and Ludacris
24. Pon De Replay -Rihanna
25. Hate It Or Love It -The Game and 50 Cent
2006
1. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake
2. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
3. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
4. Everytime We Touch – Cascada
5. Temperature – Sean Paul
6. S.O.S. – Rihanna
7. Beep – Pussy Cat Dolls
8. Waiting On The World To Change – John Mayer
9. Pump It – Black Eyed Peas
10. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
11. Maneater – Nelly Furtado
12. Single – Natasha Bedingfield
13. What Hurts the Most – Rascall Flatts
14. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It – Dem Franchise Boys
15. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson
16. It’s Goin’ Down – Young Joc
17. Dance, Dance -Fall Out Boy
18. Smack That – Akon & Eminem
19. I Write Songs, Not Tragedies – Panic! At the Disco
20. We’re All In This Together – High School Musical Cast
21. Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparx
22. How To Save A Life – The Fray
23. Rompe – Daddy Yankee
24. Check On It – Beyonce Featuring Slim Thugg
25. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol
2007
1. The Sweet Escape -Gwen Stefani & Akon
2. Girlfriend -Avril Lavigne
3. Irreplaceable -Beyonce
4. Before He Cheats -Carrie Underwood
5. Crank Dat -Soulja Boy
6. Rehab -Amy Winehouse
7. Umbrella -Rhianna
8. Hey There Delilah -Plain White T’s
9. Glamorous -Fergie
10. I Wanna Luv U -Akon
11. Bubbly -Colbie Caillat
12. Walk It Out -Unk
13. Don’t Matter -Akon
14. Fergalicious -Fergie
15. Lip Gloss -Lil Mama
16. Candyman -Christina Aguilera
17. Break It Off -Rhianna
18. S.O.S. -Jonas Brothers
19. Stronger -Kanye West
20. Thks Fr Th Mmrs -Fall Out Boy
21. Pop, Lock and Drop It -Huey
22. Shut Up and Drive -Rhianna
23. Because of You -Ne-Yo
24. Home -Daughtry
25. Tattoo -Jordan Sparks
2008
1. So What – Pink
2. Just Dance – Lady Gaga
3. Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney
4. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
5. Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects
6. Damaged – Danity Kane
7. Shake It – Metro Station
8. Love Story – Taylor Swift
9. When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls
10. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
11. Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna
12. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers
13. Low – Flo Rida featuring T-Pain
14. Calabria – Enur featuring Natasja
15. Love Like This – Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston
16. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus
17. Lollipop – Lil Wayne
18. Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield
19. Circus – Britney Spears
20. Summertime – New Kids On The Block
21. Our Song- Taylor Swift
22. All Summer Long – Kid Rock
23. Closer – Ne-Yo
24. Viva La Vida – Coldplay
25. See You Again – Miley Cyrus
2009
1. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Oche) – Pitbull
4. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift
5. Lovegame – Lady Gaga
6. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH3!
7. Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink
8. Right Round – Flo-Rida
9. Poker Face – Lady Gaga
10. Goodbye – Kristinia Debarge
11. Say Hey – Evan Taubenfeld Michael Franti & Spearhead
12. New Divide – Linkin Park
13. The Climb – Miley Cyrus
14. Best I Ever had – Drake
15. Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Featuring Leighton Meester
16. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet
17. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry
18. Paranoid – Jonas Brothers
19. Wanted – Jessie James
20. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston
21. Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman
22. Love, Sex and Magic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake
23. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
24. Day N Nite – Kid Cuti
25. Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus (they let us learn the dance at res)
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TOP SONGS OF 2020 WRITE UP!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6WDeuRMOV8neAhU2zd193d?si=lZ9gDIp0TsCCEOeCS7_QGw
1. I remember everything - John Prine
I was going to write an incredibly earnest and long review of this song that outlined just how much John Prine meant to me. I can’t really do it and I think this song probably says enough alone. With only a few chords he always manages to express all the little things that make love what it is, all different kinds of love. Long lasting, short moments, love with places, sounds, going places and staying home, endless family ties, and the often fragile but in the end tenable love between all human beings in the face of catastrophe. The pandemic stole a lot of things from a lot of people this year, including John Prine, but he will remain one of the greatest songwriters of all time and his songs will live on forever.
2. Dream Palette - Yves Tumor
I can’t drive but let’s pretend I’m driving, I’m in LA and it’s night time or something, my elbow’s out the window, don’t know why I’m wearing sunglasses, this song comes on the radio, I’m the coolest person alive.
3. Boylife in EU- Yung Lean
Not to repeat my review of Garden but when the chorus comes I feel like I’m on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and im screaming but this time its because of a no-deal Brexit.
4. Garden- Joseph Futak
My review was already used as part of Joe’s promo campaign and it said: “feel like im on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and I’m screaming when the drums come in x x”
5. Circle the Drain- Soccer Mommy
I like this song because I too, am often alone in my room, and I have also become obsessed with subtle breakbeats to an extent where people around me have become very bored of the subject.
6. The Brothers William Said- The Innocence Mission
I listened to this song over and over when I was travelling round London in January just after my birthday, it felt like I’d been listening to it for years, like it was in a movie I’d forgotten. It felt at the time like I was saying a lot of goodbyes, recognising that things weren’t really like they used to be.
7. On the Floor- Perfume Genius
Say it with me ladies: I CROSS OUT HIS NAME ON THE PAGE!!!!
8. Shameika- Fiona Apple
She may not believe it but I bet Fiona Apple looked tough with a riding crop.
9. Song for Our Daughter- Laura Marling
Everything about this is fantastic, mellow and bright at the same time. Every part is brought forward individually and no part of this song gets left behind. A stunning vocal from Laura Marling and purposeful lyrics set to a cinematically emotive instrumental. Pure magic as always.
10. Building site outside- Piglet
Not going to lie, I was in a very vulnerable emotional state when I listened to this song for the first time, but I think that makes it no less powerful and just, sad. The lyric ‘she smiled at me so much last time’ is just so simple and devastating that you forget this would’ve been on every indie film soundtrack from 2000-2008 if Piglet was an industry plant.
11. I wonder- Shamir
One word: EPIC
12. Crimson Tide- Destroyer
Listened to this every time I came on my period this year.
13. In the Dining Room - Joe Pera talks with you
Adam showed me Joe Pera when I really felt incredibly sad at the very beginning of this year. It’s a show that’s made me feel good, no matter the circumstances. This moment in the show made me smile, and I love hearing Gene come in a bit too early.
14. Stupid Love- Lady Gaga
Shakin my little booty in the kitchen to this x
15. Might bang, might not- Little Simz
Livid we didn’t all get to go to End of the Road and see all the hot dad’s loving Little Simz.
16. Fire- Waxahatchee
A truly insane vocal. I listened to this song on my way to work almost every day from September to December and fantasised singing back up at some kind of outdoor gig in the summer and it made everything significantly less bleak.
17. Hannah Sun- Lomelda
This song is too nice and genuine for me to say anything other than, “really lovely song :)”.
18. Scroll of Sorrow- Machine Girl, guayaba
Listened to this a lot this year while sitting on my kitchen floor staring into an empty oven, wondering if I was ever going to go to a party again.
19. Build a nest- Jeff and Ruby Parker
Have put this on in the flat because the guitar solo reminds me of everything my dad listens to at home. A really great piece of music that kicks off a really exciting album.
20. Kiss me thru the phone- That Kid
Ned said yesterday that he thought it was funny how much the original of this song is so foundational to hyper pop and I agree. Also I’ve started saying ‘Bitch’ like That Kid does every time I stub my toe.
21. Cuckoo- Sam Amidon
I am punting down a creek, looking in the branches that hang over the water for the bird that shall lead me to my next clue.
22. Places/ Plans- Skullcrusher
Used this song to comfort myself in moments where I also just don’t understand why I’m not famous.
23. Sweetjoy- Jam City
Finally….. HAIM for dudes.
24. Clean Living- Slow Weather
I saw someone listening to this on the side of my Spotify so I decided to give it a go and it was a fantastic decision. It’s mental that half of this song is an outro.
25. Summer All Over- Blake Mills
Along with the music video visuals and the dampened piano tone, this wins the competition for least summer-y song with the actual word summer in the title.
26. Ready Cheeky Pretty- CHAI
All of my joy this year has been brought to me by CHAI. I have nothing negative to say about CHAI. If you have anything negative to say about CHAI you’re gonna have to go through me.
27. Diaphanous- Land of Talk
This band was recommended to me by a guy I was trying to flirt with at rough trade east but everything closed before I could impress him by saying ‘I think they’re really cool’.
28. Anything - Adrianne Lenker
Anyone who has ever attempted to write a song with me knows how much I simply love rhyming. Seriously though, every thing rhymes, brilliant stuff. (It’s also such a brilliantly full and constant song that still manages to move and remain exciting from start to finish. I imagine this is partially due to Adrianne Lenker’s almost nursery rhyme- esque structure and also due to her beautifully colloquial approach to family dynamics.)
29. Blow- Dj Gigola, Kev Koko
This song makes me wish I was Jason Bourne- just wanna jump really far while something explodes behind me.
30. Money Can’t Buy- Yaeji, Nappy Nina
‘Well I’ll buy some Yaeji tickets, they’re for NOVEMBER, there’s NO WAY they’re gonna get cancelled’.
31. Only the Truth- Johanna Warren
When I first listened to this song I felt like I was floating in the ocean looking up at the stars as the drums came in on ‘what more can I do’. An incredibly beautiful and careful song.
32. Gasoline- Haim
2020 could probably be summarised with the phrase ‘WHY AM I NO LONGER IN CALIFORNIA? WHY DID I LEAVE CALIFORNIA?’ And this song is the 3 minutes 13 seconds seconds of escapism I needed to not topple into a full spiral.
33. Mapuu - Ic3peak
No one can convince me that Ic3peak are real people. They are a collective made up of child ghosts.
34. Don’t Worry- Bladee
Whenever I have an anxiety attack in the night I wake up and see Bladee’s ghost of the future over my bed, he says ‘Don’t worry’ and mumbles for a bit as I fall back into a peaceful sleep.
35. The biggest tits in history- The magnetic fields
The most relatable magnetic fields song imo.
36. Sand Castle- nijuu
Yujin is a genius and my answer is yes, I do want to just walk for a while.
37. Curl Up- Darren Hayman
Ned reminded me how much I used to love Darren Hayman, and both of them have been a pretty big part of my year.
38. When Will Death Come- Sarah Mary Chadwick
‘Wow, mental voice’ - Ned, while doing the washing up.
39. Dear Dad - Sylvie Wiley
‘But I didn’t cry, you’d be proud’ Sylvie, I’m weeping forever.
40. 34+35- Ariana Grande
Hehehehehehehehehe
41. Garden Song- Phoebe Bridgers
Phoebe Bridgers is a pretty unparalleled lyricist and this song feels like a disconnected series of thoughts that somehow all make sense together and come to create something that doesn’t build, but all just kind of sits? What I’m trying to say is that I don’t really know what she’s talking about but like, I get it.
42. Ringtone (remix) - 100 gecs, Charli xcx, Kero Kero Bonito, Rico Nasty,
I love the way it sounds like everyone got just one take and had to improvise all the lyrics but it still bangs.
43. Changer- Andy Shauf
Thank you lord for another album about a smaller than average man overthinking all of his social interactions with lots of lovely clarinet parts.
44. What’s your pleasure - Jessie Ware
My pleasure jessie? Probably just sitting by the fire with a tough crossword and a glass of merlot x
45. Slime- Shygirl
Shygirl’s series of singles this year made me even more livid that I had to take out my eyebrow piercing for my new job this year.
46. Sears Tower- Salem
Perfect halloween release.
47. Title track- happyness
Ned turned to me and said: ‘so is their new thing that they sound like Elliot Smith’ and I said: ‘and that’s a bad thing?’
48. Cross-sound ferry (walk on ticket) - Hamilton Leithauser
Have found unbelievable joy in chopping veg and shouting GREEEEEEEN PORT, NEEEEEEWWWW YOOORK alone in my kitchen.
49. Lowswimmer- Hailaker
I’ve loved hearing Jemima’s voice when I haven’t got to see her much this year. I normally take the piss out of the Hambledon line but I haven’t seen that this year really either. I guess we find sentimentality in strange places.
50. XS - Rina Sawayama
This song made me feel very decadent on those days where I didn’t wash.
51. Emily- Clem Snide
Let’s be more kind and brave in the face of it all.
52. Building a fire- Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy
P.O.V you’re doing bushcraft in the garden with your husband Bonnie Prince Billy and he’s here to protect you.
53. Asexual Wellbeing- Okay Kaya
This song absolutely bangs but I am truly bewildered by the way they singled out the line ‘if they could put a pulse into a spinach leaf, can they turn the two of us into a tree?’ in the production as if that was a true piece of genius. As I say great tune tho.
54. Anthems- Charli xcx
The soundtrack to couch to 5k
55. Never Better- Kitty Fitz
A SE London queen bringing us huge pop tunes in 2020. So so excited to see what 2021 brings us from Kitty, she’s gonna be a real force!
56. Deep in Love- Bonny Light Horsemen
This is such a delightful song which (mainly due to the time I actually got around to listening to the whole record) for me really rang in the spring. A beautifully recorded testament to the feeling of love getting stronger meaning you have a lot more to lose.
57. Malibu- Kim Petras
My song of the summer, made me feel like I was at the beach when really I was in Lewisham.
58. Like I’m Winning it- Girlpool
I’m so delighted that the turn girlpool have made this year is towards dramatic goth music with breakbeats. Their voices both sound amazing and they look simply incredible.
59. Azad- Frazey Ford
I have no idea what she’s saying as always but I love it.
60. Helio- Charlotte Dos Santos
I’m literally so excited for what Charlotte Dos Santos is gonna put out next. The production is fantastic and her aesthetics are flawless.
61. Lost in the Country- Trace Mountains
‘I checked my email twice as I cried’. Safe to say we’ve all been there this year amirite girlies x
62. Unfold You- Rostam
I hated this at first, I thought, what’s this lo-fi beats to study to shit, but it’s now my classic ‘I’m just gonna pop to the shops, anyone want anything? x’ song. Huge.
63. Oh Yeah- A.G cook
One of 2020s realisations is that me and A.G Cook kind of look like we could be cousins.
64. Can’t cool me down- Car Seat Headrest
I would like to personally thank will Toledo for giving me a tune that got me off my ass when I was too warm to do exercise this summer.
65. Take back the radio- Katy J Paerson
In love with Katy J Pearson’s voice and the way this song builds. Just pretty flawless and feel good in my opinion. I think she’s such an exciting new artist who’s gonna be around for a very very long time.
66. Good Woman- The Staves
‘I’m a good woman’… speak for yourselves.
67. A Little Love- Jack Francis
Feel like I’ve been singing this song for about 5 years! It’s amazing and I’m so excited about what Jack’s going to bring out in 2021, he’s a genius and also the nicest man on the planet.
68. Lullaby No.4 - Snailbeach
This song makes me feel like I’m being hypnotised on a haunted carousel in a very relaxing way.
69. Boyfriend in every city- Roma Radz
Sucks that she can’t see any of her boyfriends cos of covid :(
70. Jaja ding dong- Will Ferrell
Get back in there and play Jaja Ding Dong !!!!
71. Highway- Jonatan leandoer96
Man, would be pretty sick to have 20 boys outside the club but alas the clubs are dead and I’ve only regularly texted about 4 people this year.
72. De nadie- Kali Uchis
Felt v sexy listening to this for the first time in a Morley’s in Honor Oak.
73. Weird Fishes- Lianne La Havas
This album was a pretty triumphant return for Lianna La Havas and me teenage self simply couldn’t be happier.
74. Micro Creature- Aya Gloomy
Love that despite everything about this song telling me otherwise, that the artwork for this single looks like Aya Gloomy is just chilling in the fields by my family home in Hampshire.
75. Si Ella Sale- Bad Bunny
Better get on the duolingo now if I’m gonna know what this guy’s saying at Porto next year.
76. Through my sails- Mountain Man
Truly gentle reimagining of an already incredibly beautiful song, mountain man make every word seem new!
77.Christmas Day (get me outta this funk) - Baggio and Blue 5 Years- Bath days
In joint 77th place are two banging Christmas songs that have soundtracked a pretty bleak Christmas period and have made me feel pretty joyous in their ways, despite one literally being called Blue Five Years.
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“So What’s Band Like” pt. 2
aka random stuff people in my marching band have done but make it reminiscing on my freshman marching season edition and more focused on general events then what specific people have done
okay so like just to cover bases that one good percussionist from part one is the only percussionist that continued on into high school band
which is a fucking upgrade if you ask me
also i’m the only flute of my grade so i was flute baby™ last year
and then oboe baby when concert season came around
or as i like to call it
boboe™
oh and don’t fool yourself into thinking we have an oboe section either
it’s literally just me and my friend
anyway lets get deeper in to it then your boyfriend/S.O will ever be in you
or then you’ll ever be in your girlfriend/S.O
I ain’t gonna assume your situation
first band competition of the year we got stuck in a very hot band bus in a thunderstorm for like probably over an hour
we ended up being one of the only bands that actually stayed and performed which was cool
what was also cool is that we sang the 99 bottles of beer on the wall song and actually made it to 0
i’m also proud to say that one of the people who started that was my crush at the time, and my boyfriend now
how chaotic of him
but then again
he’s a percussionist
also my section leaders piccolo decided to just d i e and she couldn’t play for our entire performance at that competition
moving on
catch us drooling over a 200 plus member band at an away game with an elaborate Aladdin themed show
that same band played megalovania as a stand tune and when I say my band dropped all conversation and bopped to that shit I mean it
also the sunset that night looked like the teletubbie sunrise
when i informed my now boyfriend and my section leader of this they both looked at me like “why the fuck did you just ruin that beautiful sunset”
it is what it is
one time we had a flute hangout after school and before a Friday night away football game
except make it like the flute section featuring the alto sax section leader and my now boyfriend (who if you don’t remember is a percussionist)
oh and also briefly featuring one of our drum majors from last year and a trombonist
anyway we ate little caesars pizza at a playground in a neighborhood near the school
we also played on said playground
in the process putting my kermit plushie, who will most likely be a reoccurring character in this series, in the baby swing and pushing him
we then made friendship bracelets but my now boyfriend didn’t know how
so i did what anyone who knows how to make friendship bracelets and who’s crushing on someone who doesn’t know how to make friendship bracelets would do
i taught him how to make friendship bracelets
we also sat on the band bus together to and from that nights away game where I continued to help him make a friendship bracelet and then we looked at memes on the way back
some of them were funny, some of them weren’t
i laughed at all of them
why?
because i was and am…
a fucking simp
we hosted a competition the same day that we marched a two mile parade so basically everyone went home and crashed that night
Me, my friend, and my now boyfriend spent like over fifteen minutes trying to find this one band just so we could hand them a single candygram to give to some kid
that kid better have appreciated that candygram
My two friends and I also received a joint airgram from our moms so we all prompted to split the tiny piece of card stock into three and we each have a piece
It’s almost like a friendship bracelet
but one hundred times easier to loose
moving onto big boy competition territory
aka the Atlantic Coastal Championships
or at least i think that’s what ACC stands for
We were the first people to perform that day so we had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the competition in time
Like legit imagine a bunch of tired band kids on a school bus at 6am
It was actually kind of nice and very quiet
My now boyfriend and I watched Coraline on my chromebook on the way there
We also watched Coco on the way back but we aren’t there yet
I brought my Kermit plushie, as I should’ve, but he did not escape unscathed
My now boyfriend accidentally dropped him in his spilled chocolate milkshake which had made a fairly accurate rendition of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river on the stands
He was more upset about it then I was honestly and apologized a bunch while frantically trying to scrub the chocolate stain out of Kermit’s green plush flesh with his jeans
My now boyfriend also decided to spin Kermit up in the air like a helicopter and Kermit nearly flew over the back end of the bleachers since we were sat in the top row
Luckily he didn’t fly over but we quickly stopped throwing him around and Kermit promptly sat on the bleachers next to us for the rest of ACCs
Moving forward, I would highlight the game directly after I actually got together with my boyfriend but not a single fucking thing happened
Other then the fact that the concession stand ran out of hot chocolate
But not before my boyfriend, our two friends, and I could get our hands on some
Flash forward, our football team, in an act of what was probably some form of witchcraft or just downright luck, qualified for playoffs and the first playoff game was a FOUR HOUR drive away
They really said “okay everybody lets travel to the other side of the state for a single football game”
And before you say “well it would take a lot longer to get to the other side of my state!”
pack it up west coast/midwest
I live on the east coast our states are t i n y
we had to leave for this game in the middle of the school day right after lunch which meant i had to bring two separate book bags to school that day
one bag for band and one bag for school
regardless we drove on the bus through mountains and trees for four hours before stopping off to have dinner at some rando restaurant
and no offense to old white people but like it must have been senior night or some shit because when I tell you the only people in that restaurant were like 70 to 80 band kids and a bunch of old white people I am not joking
It was terrifying
And I mean like I’m not inherently scared of old white people
But what I am is non-binary growing up in a conservative area of a conservative state
And I was also holding the hand of my wonderful boyfriend who happens to be a person of color
I was scared I was about to be hate crimed
Or he was about to get hate crimed
Luckily I think the fact that we were part of a flock of like 80 other teenagers all wearing red shirts and sweatpants scared them off
Or maybe they didn’t even notice and my social anxiety just said “they’re looking at you, love ;)” when they probably weren’t
We also ran the ice cream machine at that place dry
Anyway this was like November and it was super fucking cold outside so the home schools band invited us inside the school building when we got there since it was still a bit before the game
I got to talk to some of the flutes and they were super chill
We also made this weird ass dance circle where we went back and forth doing steps that I forget but remind me of the cotton eyed joe for some reason
Maybe that’s what we were dancing?
I don’t remember I just know like the entire low brass section plus a select group of the upper woodwinds/percussion were all in on it
I also remember what I think was one of the flutes looking at me and my boyfriend who was hugging me from behind and being very physically affectionate, as he usually is, and mentioning something about wondering what instrument he played
If in some miraculous event you are reading this mystery flute girl, he’s a percussionist
you’re welcome
Nothing really stands out about the game itself other then how fucking cold it was and the fact that our football team won…
by a single point
We then all enjoyed the four hour ride back to the school
Most people spent it sleeping as it was like ten pm
Yeah you do the math we left at like 10pm
JK I’m not gonna make you do math we got back to the school at like 2am
Also notice how I said most people spent it sleeping
I probably would have been one of those people
However my lovely boyfriend, who again I do love, decided that a can of Mountain Dew at 10pm was a good idea
Baby, I love you, but why
10pm is too late for a Mountain Dew
We did end up sleeping for like an hour tho which was nice while it lasted
But then we had the glorious “Everyone we are about thirty minutes away from the school please call your parents to come pick you up” wake up call from our band director
And when I tell you that in that moment it felt like I was in between two different plains of existence
I am not kidding
It is a very interesting vibe
Anyway I apologize for how painfully long that was but I literally could go into so much more detail. This is just grazing the surface of the experience that was my freshman marching season. However, I’m stopping myself here. If for some reason you want to read more of this and aren’t willing to wait for me to make the part three that will be directed toward this years socially distanced band season, you can read the first one of these which has a remarkably funnier collection of events and a lot less cussing. What can I say, I was an eighth grader in middle school band with an instructor who was very lenient on what we did when we weren’t playing. Until next time, this has been Elliot, signing off until i inevitably find something else interesting to share with the internet.
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Can I ask what's in your inbox? 👀🌹
Absolutely. I’ve got about 75 requests in here right now and I’m working to get some of these out as fast as I can. I’ll just do a quick summary:
“Did you say tease or please?” (ideas swirling for this one)
Rami masturbating while in isolation.
Rami cheering up reader after getting laid off due to COVID-19 (I promise you anon I’m working on something! I promise!)
A special birthday request for my girl @breadnbutternips that is gonna be fluffy, sweet and HAWT
Dom Jonah
Screaming match with Snafu that ends up either angsty or smutty
Angsty Rami songfic based off of a Queensryche song.
Rami with an Autistic son (I’m researching this one)
Josh Washington X Reader playing strip poker
Joe starting his own production company. The reader is his secretary/assistant and there is a lot of smut on his desk.
Rami edging reader for over an hour with a vibrator.
A few similar Elliot requests.
Joe cuddles and loves
Joe drunkenly loving on readers boobies
“Never have, never will.” + Joe + Angst (this is half written)
Joe and reader having an argument because reader has issues with their dad
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Snafu + fluff
First time with Joe (this is half written)
“I never meant to hurt you” Josh Washington + angst/fluff-possible smut
This is a verrrrry small sampling of what is in my inbox right now. I have a ton of requests and I don’t turn away requests. Some just inspire me to write faster than others. I am doing the best I can with some fo the real-life things that I have going on.
I love an appreciate all of my readers and am forever grateful for their patience. I can only write so fast (my brain only works for part of the day apparently lol).
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Remember the Time Book Website: https://rememberthetimebook.com
https://rememberthetimebook.com
“Michael Jackson was not a typical client. We were the sworn keepers of his secrets in life, but his death has forced us into a position we have never been entirely comfortable with. The questions surrounding his death – who had access to him, at what times and for what purpose – put a glaring spotlight on our role as protectors.” – Bill Whitfield .
BOOK REVIEWS :
BOOK REVIEW BY JOY ELLIOT, ON APRIL 25, 2020: “”Remember the Time” is a book that restores Michael Jackson’s humanity. Michael Jackson spent his final years with his three children in virtual seclusion. During that time, two men served as the singer’s personal security team: Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard. Stationed at his side nearly 24/7, their job was to see and hear everything that transpired. Driven by a desire to show the world who Michael Jackson truly was, Whitfield and Beard have produced a definitive, first-person account of Michael Jackson’s last years. This book places the highest amongst the ranks of any book about Michael Jackson that I have ever read. It was a page turner that I did not want to end. Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard dismantle the enigma of Michael Jackson the celebrity, effectively presenting their reader a glimpse of Michael Jackson’s distinguished soul.”
BOOK REVIEW BY NICOLE AKINS, ON JULY 3, 2020: “This book is definitely one of my favorites. I loved it and finished it quicker than I have ever read a book before. I caught myself smiling uncontrollably throughout so many parts and laughing out loud at some of the stories. It was amazing to hear all about the times that Bill, and Javon were with MJ. Without this book, we the fans, would not have this insight into MJ and this time period. This book really is a one of a kind. There cannot be another book like it because of the circumstances that were going on at this time. I wanted to start again as soon as I had finished. I loved it. If you don’t have a copy, get your copy from https://rememberthetimebook.com. Bill will personally sign each copy bought from this website and profits go to charity, Bill’s way of honoring MJ. I bought my copy before I knew of Bill’s website, but now I have a good reason to purchase another. During the last section of the book, many of the pages are now covered in tears. I love how protective they were of him. Bill told the story of how Javon wanted to take out the guy who called Michael a ‘child molester’. I know that it would have been more trouble than it was worth, hence Bill’s command to say ‘No’. But I really wish they had of taken the guy out. My favorite line in the whole book and we’ve heard Bill say this to us in our first FB live with him, "As I protected him in life, I will continue to protect and honor him in death." Bill protected him in life and will continue to protect his honor in death, brings tears to my eyes every time. I feel this is how we all feel as a fan community. We want to protect his honor and his legacy”❤️.
BOOK REVIEW BY AMANDA MANS, ON AUGUST 2, 2020 : “I finally got around to reading Bill Whitfield and Javon's book. Started it yesterday and couldn't put it down. Finished it this afternoon. Cried my way through the last pages, still upsets me that whole final few days/weeks of Michael's life. My thoughts on the book - I found it fascinating the inner workings and chaos of Michael's life. In some parts it was funny seeing how completely clueless Michael was about some things because he was used to having someone else do it for him. Like he didn't know he had to activate his credit card first in order to use it... Also, his crazy demands to buy random extravagant things. Some parts I was angry on behalf of Bill and Javon in terms of the months they went with no pay while Michael had thousands of dollars in cash just tucked away. How Michael could be buying his kids thousands of dollars of toys in front of someone who couldn't get his kids presents because Michael had not paid him, and it didn't seem to register to Michael. I don't know how or why they went for so long without pay and didn't feel to confront Michael ! I would have done ! I think their silence was part of the problem - because they didn't say anything, Michael assumed everything was ok. I also would have said something sooner about how Raymone and Grace were spending Michael's money on expensive serviced apartments without his knowledge. I didn't like the way they spoke about Joe Jackson and Randy Jackson. I thought it was disrespectful the way they described Joe as mean looking with a unibrow. It seemed wrong saying they respected Michael, whilst mocking his father. I got the impression they didn't understand Michael's family dynamics, which I guess on first impressions would be confusing. It seems clear that Michael was suffering from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic-stress from the Trial. Mike had lost his mojo but with therapy and the right support I think he could've found it again. He just didn't have anyone around him that cared enough. Partly because he pushed people that cared away, like his family, and partly because people who claimed to care, like his celebrity friends, never showed up for him. At the end, Bill says he feels glad he wasn't there at the end as he wasn't meant to be a part of it. I just feel like Michael asked them to come and they never came so they let him down in that way. There were all these people around who could have done something, but they didn't want to outstep the bounds of their job. Michael was in free fall, but no one cared enough to catch him. Bill saw all the goings-on and financial wheeling and dealing and "vultures" but purposely stepped back as he didn't want to be a part of it. I feel like everyone around him played a part in his demise, as they were there, but they didn't show up for him.” ☹️
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Popular Songs of the Early 2000s
[xspinningisfun – keep tag on <3]
Bold the ones that you know of!
2000
1.Who Let The Dogs Out? -Baha Men
2. All The Small Things -Blink 182
3. Amazed -Lonestar
4. Oops, I Did It Again -Britney Spears
5. Graduation -Vitamin C
6. Bye, Bye, Bye -N*Sync
7. Independent Woman -Destiny’s Child
8. Let’s Make Love – Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 4000
10. I Turn To You – Christina Aguilera
11. I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden
12. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi
13. Breathe – Faith Hill
14. Shake Your Bon-Bon – Ricky Martin
15. Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65
16. Goobye Earl – Dixie Chicks
17. Let’s Get Married – Jagged Edge
18. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
19. The Real Slim Shady – Eminem
20. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child
21. It’s Gonna Be Me – N*Sync
22. Party Up – DMX
23. Sexual (Li Da Di) – Amber
24. Country Grammar – Nelly
25. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter
2001
1. Hanging By A Moment -Lifehouse
2. Allin’ -Alicia Keys
3. All For You -Janet
4. If You’re Gone -Matchbox Twenty
5. I’M Real -Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule
6. Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me) -Train
7. Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Eve ft. Gwen Stefani
8. Thank You -Dido
9. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) -Blu Cantrell
10. Independent Women Part I -Destiny’s Child
11. Again -Lenny Kravitz
12. It’S Been Awhile -Staind
13. Stutter -Joe ft. Mystikal
14. It Wasn’T Me’ -Shaggy ft. Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent
15. U Remind Me -Usher
16. Where The Party At -Jagged Edge With Nelly
17. Angel -Shaggy Featuring Rayvon
18. Ride Wit Me -Nelly Featuring City Spud
19. Peaches & Cream -112
20. Follow Me -Uncle Kracker
21. Drive -Incubus
22. What Would You Do? -Alicia Keys
23. Survivor -Destiny’s Child
24. Lady Marmalade -Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & Pink
25. Ms. Jackson -OutKast
2002
1. A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson
2. Hot In Herre – Nelly
3. Complicated – Avril Lavigne
4. Girlfriend – N Sync & Nelly
5. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne
6. Can’t Fight The Moonlight – LeAnn Rimes
7. Dirrty – Christina Aguilera
8. A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
9. Heaven – DJ Sammy
10. Gimme The Light – Sean Paul
11. The World’s Greatest – R Kelly
12. Jenny From The Block – Jennifer Lopez Featuring Jadakiss & Styles
13. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith
14. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch
15. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue
16. The Game Of Love – Santana Featuring Michelle Branch
17. Young’n (Holla Back) – Fabolous
18. She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd
19. Starry Eyed Surprise – Oakenfold Featuring Shifty Shellshock
20. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
21. Say I Yi Yi – Ying Yang Twins
22. Just A Friend 2002 – Mario
23. Hey Baby – No Doubt and Bounty Killer
24. Work It – Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott
25. U Don’t Have To Call – Usher
2003
1. In Da Club -50 Cent
2. Crazy in Love -Beyonce w. Jay-Z
3. Get Busy -Sean Paul
4. When I’m Gone -Three Doors Down
5. Ignition -R Kelly
6. Baby Boy -Beyonce w. Sean Paul
7. This is the Night -Clay Aiken
8. Bring Me To Life -Evanescence
9. Right Thurr -Chingy
10. Unwell -Matchbox Twenty
11. Picture -Kid Rock w. Sheryl Crow
12. Drift Away -Uncle Kracker & Dobie Gray
13. Get Low -Lil’ John & The East Side Boyz
14. Beautiful -Christina Aguilera
15. I’m With You -Avril Lavigne
16. Miss You -Aalyiah
17. 21 Questions -50 Cent & Nate Dogg
18. Shake Ya Tailfeather Nelly -P. Diddy and Murphy Lee
19. All I Have -Jennifer Lopez & LL Cool J
20. I Know What You Want -Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey
21. Magic Stick -Lil’ Kim w. 50 Cent
22. Bump Bump Bump -B2K and P. Diddy
23. Flying Without Wings -Ruben Studdard
24. Here Without You -3 Doors Down
25. Work It -Missy Elliot
2004
1. Yeah! -Usher
2. Burn -Usher
3. This Love -Maroon 5
4. The Way You Move -Outkast
5. If I Ain’t Got You -Alecia Keys
6. Hey Ya! -Outkast
7. I Don’t Wanna Know -Mario Winans
8. The Reason -Hoobastank
9. Confessions Part II -Usher
10. My Immortal -Evanescence
11. Naughty Girl -Beyonce
12. Let’s Get It Started -Black Eyed Peas
13. My Boo -Usher and Alecia Keys
14. She Will Be Loved -Maroon 5
15. The First Cut Is the Deepest -Sheryl Crow
16. Toxic -Britney Spears
17. Someday -Nickelback
18. I Believe -Fantasia
19. Breakaway -Kelly Clarkson
20. Slow Jamz -Twista
21. Dirt Off Your Shoulder -Jay-Z
22. Freak-A-Leek -Petey Pablo
23. The Way -Clay Aiken
24. Numb -Linkin’ Park
25. Dip It Low -Christina Milian
2005
1. We Belong Together -Mariah Carey
2. Let Me Love You -Mario
3. Since U Been Gone -Kelly Clarkson
4. Hollaback Girl -Gwen Stefani
5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams -Greenday
6. Don’t Cha -The Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes
7. Candy Shop -50 Cent
8. 1, 2, Step -Ciara and Missy Elliot
9. Gold Digger -Kanye West
10. Don’t Phunk With My Heart -The Black Eyed Peas
11. Drop It Like It’s Hot -Snoop Dogg
12. Shake It Off -Mariah Carey
13. Disco Inferno -50 Cent
14. Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson
15. Beverly Hills -Weezer
16. Just a Lil Bit -50 Cent
17. Lose Control -Missy Elliot
18. How We Do -The Game & 50 Cent
19. You & Me -Lifehouse
20. Soldier -Destiny’s Child
21. Rich Girl -Gwen Stefani
22. Mr. Brightside -The Killers
23. Oh -Ciara and Ludacris
24. Pon De Replay -Rihanna
25. Hate It Or Love It -The Game and 50 Cent
2006
1. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake
2. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
3. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
4. Everytime We Touch – Cascada
5. Temperature – Sean Paul
6. S.O.S. – Rihanna
7. Beep – Pussy Cat Dolls
8. Waiting On The World To Change – John Mayer
9. Pump It – Black Eyed Peas
10. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
11. Maneater – Nelly Furtado
12. Single – Natasha Bedingfield
13. What Hurts the Most – Rascall Flatts
14. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It – Dem Franchise Boys
15. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson
16. It’s Goin’ Down – Young Joc
17. Dance, Dance -Fall Out Boy
18. Smack That – Akon & Eminem
19. I Write Songs, Not Tragedies – Panic! At the Disco
20. We’re All In This Together – High School Musical Cast
21. Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparx
22. How To Save A Life – The Fray
23. Rompe – Daddy Yankee
24. Check On It – Beyonce Featuring Slim Thugg
25. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol
2007
1. The Sweet Escape -Gwen Stefani & Akon
2. Girlfriend -Avril Lavigne
3. Irreplaceable -Beyonce
4. Before He Cheats -Carrie Underwood
5. Crank Dat -Soulja Boy
6. Rehab -Amy Winehouse
7. Umbrella -Rhianna
8. Hey There Delilah -Plain White T’s
9. Glamorous -Fergie
10. I Wanna Luv U -Akon
11. Bubbly -Colbie Caillat
12. Walk It Out -Unk
13. Don’t Matter -Akon
14. Fergalicious -Fergie
15. Lip Gloss -Lil Mama
16. Candyman -Christina Aguilera
17. Break It Off -Rhianna
18. S.O.S. -Jonas Brothers
19. Stronger -Kanye West
20. Thks Fr Th Mmrs -Fall Out Boy
21. Pop, Lock and Drop It -Huey
22. Shut Up and Drive -Rhianna
23. Because of You -Ne-Yo
24. Home -Daughtry
25. Tattoo -Jordan Sparks
2008
1. So What – Pink
2. Just Dance – Lady Gaga
3. Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney
4. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
5. Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects
6. Damaged – Danity Kane
7. Shake It – Metro Station
8. Love Story – Taylor Swift
9. When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls
10. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
11. Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna
12. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers
13. Low – Flo Rida featuring T-Pain
14. Calabria – Enur featuring Natasja
15. Love Like This – Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston
16. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus
17. Lollipop – Lil Wayne
18. Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield
19. Circus – Britney Spears
20. Summertime – New Kids On The Block
21. Our Song- Taylor Swift
22. All Summer Long – Kid Rock
23. Closer – Ne-Yo
24. Viva La Vida – Coldplay
25. See You Again – Miley Cyrus
2009
1. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Oche) – Pitbull
4. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift
5. Lovegame – Lady Gaga
6. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH3!
7. Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink
8. Right Round – Flo-Rida
9. Poker Face – Lady Gaga
10. Goodbye – Kristinia Debarge
11. Say Hey – Evan Taubenfeld Michael Franti & Spearhead
12. New Divide – Linkin Park
13. The Climb – Miley Cyrus
14. Best I Ever had – Drake
15. Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Featuring Leighton Meester
16. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet
17. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry
18. Paranoid – Jonas Brothers
19. Wanted – Jessie James
20. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston
21. Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman
22. Love, Sex and Magic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake
23. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
24. Day N Nite – Kid Cuti
25. Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus
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To my readers I ask a question- “What is the most important aspect you look for in a historical era heroine?”
Her wit? “Why should I be embarrassed I was fully clothed?”
Tenacious spirit? “My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.”
Intelligence? “It is not what we think or feel that makes us who we are. It is what we do...or fail to do.”
Her ability to stand up for herself? “I have as much soul as you-and full as much heart!”
Hair?
Clothes?
“Wait what?!”
“I though we were discussing aspects of the heroines endearing qualities? Her hair? Isn’t that kinda superficial?” Yes,yes it is. Yet even in our day and age despite the need for us to see strong independent women portrayed on screen, some tend to nit pick the appearance of our heroine more then anything else. People have become experts about an era they never lived in or rely solely on what they have seen in portraits of that time period or perhaps read. Let’s face it we all have done this to a certain extent. But when such things as hair styles or perhaps even some costume choices in film or TV adaptations are different from what have been taught are indictative of that era, is this a valid enough reason to insist the story is no longer worthy to watch or to discourage or disparage others from entertaining themselves with that series or movie? To some the answer to that question is an unequivocal yes. To others the answer is a resounding no. The purpose of this latest blog is to broaden our horizons as to why certain choices are made in regards to the outward appearance of our heroines - at perhaps the expense of “historical accuracy”. For those who stand by their views of 💯 accurate, this is in no way meant to offend or upset you. Just a different perspective.
So without further adui let’s begin shall we?
(*note- when I use the term “many” this does not imply that there there are not those who completely diagree with my assessment. I know the examples I’m using have some or perhaps many who do not regard such as good adaptions and even have issues with the acting. Again just using these examples as a whole)
Many adaptations of the Regency era have been done on film and TV over the past 80 years. One of the first was Pride and Prejudice with Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier
This is regarded by many as a fine and worthy adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. But let’s face it anything with Sir Olivier is perfect in my book🥰. Both these actors do a fine job portraying these classic characters. But look closer....what is she wearing?? Wait is that dress from the 1830-1840’s. Yes it is. Isn’t this is supposed to be 1813? Yes, yes it is. So what happened? Well movie studios, back in the golden age, were known to reuse costumes in an attempt to save on the bottom line. Since MGM had produced several movies set in the middle to late 1800’s up to that point and had plenty of costumes to therefore reuse, we have Elizabeth Bennet wearing a full style dress that would come into fashion years from when the book was set. However, this in no way takes away from the performance of the actors and the movie as a whole. Even the most strict historical accurate fans still watch and enjoy this film for what it is. Yet, when other adaptations of novels come along and choices in costuming and hair are made that are more “modern” and deviate somewhat from that time period, those films and shows are chided for not following the rules. Why? How is what the studios did back in the in 40’s to Pride and Prejudice different from what is done now? Why the double standard? Let’s skip forward to the 80’s and 90’s. We saw costume dramas stick very closely to the correct rules of dress and grooming. Several adaptations were delivered to our TV and movie screens that are now considered the gold standard- Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensability, Emma,etc. Majority of us still enjoy and praise these adaptations 20-30 years later. But I must admit that when I rewatch these now, there is a dated feel about them. Now don’t get me wrong, they are still wonderful but it is quite obvious that they were produced 20-30 years ago. The musical score, if it had one, was fairly basic. Nothing that really stayed with you. The costumes were fine and the hair was... OK. Again most of these things stayed the same from one adaptation to the next . What stood out in these movies and series was the acting! Regardless of what they wore or how their hair was styled, we loved these adaptations because of how the actor embraced these roles and delivered to us the audience a memorable version of a beloved character.
So as we entered the 2000’s, filmmakers, who love these stories as much as we do, decided that it was time to “update” the look and feel of a period piece. They wanted to reach a younger more modern audience that perhaps had never watched a classic period piece before. And there was nothing wrong with that! These directors wanted others to enjoy the classics as much as they did. But they were wise and realized that a fresh take was needed to entice and draw a new audience in. This could not be a costume drama that their mothers and grandmothers watched. No, they needed to appeal to a younger audience. Which is what ALL filmmakers do, regardless of the genre. It’s how the big and small screen survive. So out went the hair and wigs with the historically accurate styles. The costumes had a few more modern cuts to them but all in all stayed relatively the same. Some of the dialog had a few updates so that an audience with not much experience in 1800’s literature ( which let’s face it is majority of us) could understand. Musical scores were updated so as to play on our emotions and draw us deeper in the story. And the result- some very fine and worthy adaptations- Joe Wright’s 2005 Pride and Prejudice. Andrew Davies 2008 Sense and Sensabilty. Jim Hanlon’s 2009 Emma. Let’s just focus on one of these adaptations- 2005’s Pride and Prejudice.
Kiera Knighly delivers to us the audience a fine portrayal of Elizabeth Bennett. But notice her hair. It’s down in some scenes.
We had not seen this before in other adaptations yet here we have Lizzy approaching Netherfield with long flowing hair. Why? We as the audience need to connect with Elizabeth. Again remember- new audience, younger demographic. This tells us that she really doesn’t care what the opinions are of a certain Mr. Darcy and the Bingleys. She is being herself-walking to the house alone and not caring about the state of her tresses. Does this detract from the story and Kiera’s acting? No. It gave me the audience a new fresh way to appreciate her character. Joe Wright wasn’t trying to mimic adaptations of years past. Why should he? His Pride and Prejudice was a much needed change from that we had seen before. And guess what? It paid off. A younger audience who had never seen Pride and Prejudice came to love this movie and 15 years later this is still their go to PP. After all isn’t that what we all want? For more people to experience Jane Austen’s stories? Who says that they have to be portrayed the same way each and every time. Isn’t that kinda... boring? Predictable?
Now let’s skip ahead to 2019. If you have read my other two blogs you know where this is going. So if you don’t want to hear about my defense of Sanditon I suggest you turn back now.
Andrew Davies introduces to us a character of Jane Austen that has never been portrayed on the screen before-Charlotte Heywood.
And as such we do not know who or what her character is like. We find out that at 22 she had never left home, having grown up on a farm with 12 siblings. That alone tells us that her appearance is going to be what some call “modern” and out of place but what I call practical and normal. Her father,while respectable and gentleman, is a farmer. She more and likely had chores like anyone else. Do you really think she had the time to care if her hair is pinned up. Uhh...nope. The first scene we see her in she is shooting rabbits! This tells us she is not Elizabeth Bennet or Marianne Dashwood or Anne Elliot. And Miss Austen wasn’t trying to write her as such. She is her own person. And as such will have things that set her apart from other Austen characters. As the series progresses we come to to learn she is practical, intelligent, sweet, but naive and inexperienced. Davies also decided to make a choice that would serve as her hallmark- her shoulder length hair that she wears down most of the time. Again, filmmakers have to appeal to their current audience. And again, like Joe Wright, he was hoping to get a younger more modern audience to tune in and enjoy a period piece or perhaps a Jane Austen adaptation for the first time. Frankly, this was a clever move on his part. He needed to show throughout the series that this adventure to Sanditon is truly unlike anything she has ever experienced. Charlotte is full of youthful exuberance with those doe-like eyes that are longing to experience life outside sleepy Willingdon. But remember, that while we love her, she has a lot to learn and is truly out of her depth at first around some of the situations and people she encounters. However, despite that she is true to herself- which is also a hallmark of all Jane Austen heroines. So as such there is no reason Charlotte needs to change her hairstyle when she comes to Sanditon. She is accepted as who she is by those around her. She is our Charlotte Heywood- using her ingenuity to help with the growth of Sanditon, trying to be a good friend, and exploring her new surroundings. Her hair is the least of anyone’s worries. And as an audience we find that Charlotte’s unpinned tresses make her approachable.Unpretentious. Human. More like us. Is there anything wrong with that? No. Being historically accurate is all and well, but when that is placed above all else in a series or movie it runs the risk of being just another adaptation. And that does not draw in a new, younger, more modern audience. Regardless of whether you agree with that statement or not, that is how the entertainment business is run today. So please if any readers are on the fence to watch this series because of some more modern uses in hair and grooming I ask that you to accept why the production crew made these choices and give it a try. As us fans wait on baited breath to see if another network will pick up our beloved Sanditon and continue with a second season-just remember you may get your heroine wearing her hair up. After all, Jane Austen characters usually go through a metamorphosis of some kind due to the need to adapt, grow, and perhaps even survive. Our Charlotte may find herself more grown up and guarded after a summer spent in Sanditon and this could well show in her appearance next time we see her... or not. I guess we will have to wait and see.
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Best Friends for Life
So this is my first fic ever and i poured everything into this so hopefully you all like it
Warnings: none just pure fluff
Word Count: 1700+
Summary: You and your best friend(who married your husbands best friend) get the nursery ready for you and Joe’s second child.
The loud patter of pouring rain slams against the new nursery window. The cloudy weather prevented the shining sun from blinding you as you painted the boring walls a faint hue of yellow. You and Joe decided that you wouldn’t find out the sex of the baby until it was born and you loved how excited Joe would get about the thought of another perfect mix of the both of you running around the house.
Your first born was a spitting image of his father. Elliot had the brightest auburn hair with huge chubby cheeks just like little Joe in one of his earlier movies Unspeakable Acts. Of course he had your eyes and puffy lips but he would always be your mini Joe no matter what. Ever since Joe got his new role as John Deacon, it’s been pretty lonely but Elliot would always fill in to cheer you up when daddy was gone.
The yellow walls were nowhere near close to being finished and Joe was going to be gone for the rest of the week so you decided to call up your best friend Emily.
She was a life saver especially when you had your little 3 year old running at your feet. As much as you loved Elliot he was completely exhausting and you had another one on the way. Emily has a little girl of her own, Arya, which definitely helps entertain the little toddler. The best thing about Em besides your amazing friendship was that she was married to Joe’s best friend and co-star Ben Hardy which made date nights that much more interesting. Their little girl was absolutely adorable and had the smallest blonde curls to compliment her huge green eyes. She was only a year younger than Elliot which made them being friends that much easier.
When Em came over soon after you called, (god that woman is amazing) it didn’t take long for the toddlers to run off and start re-enacting Jurassic Park with all of Elliot’s stuffed dinosaurs Joe insisted he needed. Em figured you would be hungry with being 6 months pregnant and all which made you very emotional (thanks pregnancy hormones). After she laughed for 3 straight minutes of you crying over take out, you both quickly ate and resumed the regular nursery assembling duties like planned.
Joe had already ordered a few things like a crib and the changing table which was a huge help. So Em started putting those together as you finished painting the main accent wall pale yellow, trying to keep the nursery as gender neutral as possible. As much as you wanted to know the gender, you held back and left the life changing envelop from your doctor taped on the fridge.
After about 3 more hours of painting and assembling the main items of the room, Em and you decided to call it a day and just watch a movie with the kids but when you walked out of the room you saw both Elliot and Arya cuddled up together with their preferred dinosaur. As cute as they looked, you still had to move them from the middle of the living room floor, so trying to be as quiet as possible and holding back both of your giggles, you put the kids to bed in Elliot’s room. Elliot got a little fussy so Em went back into the living room to pick a movie while you finished putting Elliot to bed. Even though Joe wasn’t here to sway with you and your sleeping son you still loved moments like these. The hum of the sound machine in the faint background lulled your little one to sleep and you finally placed him next to Em’s little Ben look alike.
When you were walking back to the living room, you couldn’t help but stop and gaze into the bedroom where you wish your husband was sleeping. You missed every part of him so much as the week went on. He only left a week ago and would be back by Saturday but you still missed his little snores. He would usually call by now seeing as it was 9:30 which worried you but you knew he was probably with Ben seeing as Em didn’t get a call from her husband either.
As you not so gracefully plopped onto the couch, your huge belly acting as a table for the snacks Em got for the both of you to share, you both quickly got invested into the movie. I wasn’t surprised that she picked X-Men Apocalypse considering she missed Ben just as much as I missed Joe.
It was about 10:45 now and the movie was half way through. You noticed yourself dozing off when your phone starts to vibrate on the side table. The dim screen showed an image of you and Joe at your wedding 5 years prior. You quickly scrambled to pick up the phone.
“Hi Honey, I miss you.”
“Hi babe I miss you too. How was the set today?”
“It was great! I got to play Another One Bites the Dust live and they said they were gonna use it in the film!”
“That’s awesome babe. We are so proud of you.”
“So how’s my little munchkins. Hope little Elliot wasn’t causing to much havoc today.”
“He was pretty good actually, Em came over with Arya today so he was pretty occupied to say the least.”
“And what about my love, our mystery baby giving you any trouble?”
“None at all, just kicking me like a soccer player in there. Baseball might not be the sport for this one.”
“I beg to differ. Mazzello’s always play baseball.”
“Well this Mazzello has a major punch. Might be a feisty little girl in here.”
“You didn’t look in the envelope did you?”
“No of course not Joey.”
You wanted to look so bad but you knew how much the secret meant to Joe. Joe didn’t know but you told Em to look in the envelope just so someone knew. You couldn’t bare the thought of no one knowing.
“I’m surprised you answered this late babe. I figured you would be asleep by now.”
“You know I can’t go to bed without telling my favorite guy I love him.”
“But I thought Elliot was with you?”
“Babe, you know who my most favorite guys is.”
“It’s Ben isn’t it. Does Em know?”
“Joe!”
“I know, I know. I just miss your laugh. Heck I miss everything about you love. I miss you so so much.”
“I miss you too Joey. More than you could ever know.”
“Well...”
“Joe what did you do this time?”
“Open the door and find out.”
“What do you mean open the door?”
“Just do it.”
“Ok, ok just give me a second to get my huge belly off this couch.”
You get off the couch trying not to wake Em who you covered with your favorite throw. Walking to the door you couldn’t help but wonder what Joe had planned this time.
Did he send flowers again? But at this time of night, that doesn’t sound right.
You reached for the doorknob and slowly cracked the door open only to find your sexy, jet lagged husband on the other side.
“What are you doing here!”
“I couldn’t stand not seeing you for another day! Oh and I brought Ben cause he wouldn’t shut up about how much he missed Em and Arya.”
“Do you blame him? I mean you’re standing here too silly.”
“I never said I wouldn’t shut up about you three either.”
“He’s right it was way worse than me.”
While Joe and Ben were bringing there stuff inside Em heard the door shut and instantly jumped off the couch. She literally fell into Ben’s arms because of how quickly she got up. Joe and I tried to giggle as quiet as possible but it was no use. Joe heard Elliot’s cries from down the hall and went to go get him and calm him down so he didn’t wake Arya. When he came back, Joe was holding little Elliot in his arms with his favorite dinosaur hanging from his grasp and the green blanket Joe’s mother made him draped across his back. It was like you fell in love with Joe all over again. You told Em that her and Ben were welcome to stay in the guest bedroom for the night considering it was almost midnight.
After everyone was settled and almost everyone was asleep in the house again, you couldn’t help but watch Joe as he held your sleeping son by the large glass window that overlooked the city. You could feel a tear slip from your tired eyes as your heart flooded with happiness. These were the moments you never wanted to let go of. You waddled over to Joe and leaned into him as you both now looked at the sparkling skyline of New York. His kisses varying between you and your now snoring son.
“I never want to leave this. You both are my absolute world.”
“Joey we love you so much you don’t even know.”
“I love you both with my entire heart and more. Y/N you are my love. My everything. You have given me this beautiful family. Only to add one more and however many more after that.”
The tears were flowing from you eyes at this point.
“Joe you don’t even know the joy you give me. Our beautiful children. Your love. Trust. Everything. You gave me a purpose. You gave me your heart and love. You are my world. My soulmate.”
As you now lay in bed next to the absolute love of your life, tears running down from each of your cheeks, you knew that life was only gonna get better. Even through the ups and downs Joe was your person. Your one true love. And your best friend for life.
Taglist:
@queens-n-roses @sevenseasofky @onehystericalqueeen @soberandfurious
I hope everyone enjoyed this little fluff fest, I worked so hard on this and plan on writing more soon!
#joe mazzello fanfiction#joe mazzello fluff#joe mazzello imagine#joe mazzello x reader#joe mazzello#borhap#gwilym lee#gwilym lee fanfic#gwilym lee fluff#gwilym lee x reader#ben hardy#ben hardy imagines#ben hardy x reader
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Hello! First off, I love your blog so mUch thank u so much for this blog.,,, but on it what I’m really here for... I just finished my second viewing of Mr. Robot and in order to stave off the inevitable Rami Malek I will soon be experiencing, might I ask what movies/shows he’s starred in that you thought were good and maybe why? I’m asking a few blogs for this so if don’t have time/don’t wanna answer that’s cool but I’d love to get sing opinions on his performances from a Rami fan explicitly. X
Hello!
Thanks for the lovely comment! Mr. Robot is my favourite lol. I can certainly let you know what I personally enjoyed most after Mr. Robot!
The Pacific:
The Pacific is one of Rami’s best performances IMO. The show is very dark, and it’s not for the faint hearted. It really delves into what it meant to be a marine during the war in the Pacific and some of the things the different marines had to deal with. It’s an expertly shot show, with some of the best war-time sequences I’ve ever seen. Rami is not one of the main characters, but he is one of the most memorable due to his performance. I recommend the show, but if you are specifically looking for Rami, his character is not introduced to the 5th episode.
Bonus points that it’s the show that they saw him on to cast him as Elliot, and he met Joe in this (they are comrades in the show), and they seem like good friends in real life now :)
Bohemian Rhapsody:
Okay, I won’t lie and be one of those people who are like “Oh, I’ve loved Rami since ____” Bohemian Rhapsody was the first thing I saw him in, I KNEW he was in Mr. Robot, but i had not watched it. I kinda knew OF him, but i had not seen any of his work. Needless to say, i was completely blown away by his performance. He became Freddie Mercury for this movie, and that was not an easy task. Once i looked more into it I learned all his preparation for the role I totally fell in love with him. It seems all his hard work and dedication he has put in for years has finally been recognized. He is being awarded left right and center and it’s 100% deserved. Not to mention, I actually LOVE the movie. I know it’s not everyone’s favourite, but I love it. Yes, i realize there are some inaccuracies, but there are plenty Queen documentaries on Youtube people can watch. This was a 2.5 hour dramatic film.
Night at the Museum:
Okay, I will admit they aren’t the best movies, but i really enjoyed them, especially the first one. They are just fun little movies. As a Rami fan, he is hardly in the second one so it’s almost not worth it (it’s the weakest movie as well IMO) but he’s in the third one a lot. Not to mention, he’s totally adorable in these movies. Ahk is legit one of my favourites!
Buster’s Mal Heart:
This is another great performance by Rami. It was a movie i was hesitant to watch, because I heard a lot of different opinions of the film. It’s a really odd film, and it’s really kind of a mindfuck, and I still don’t know what really happened in it? At the same time, it’s been about a month since I’ve seen it and I’m still thinking about it. A lot of the success of the movie comes from Rami’s performance. He really carries the movie on his shoulders and does an amazing job!
Papillon:
This is a film that I really enjoyed. It’s not perfect, but the acting from both Rami and Charlie Hunnam really carry the film. The whole film is based on their relationship and it’s really great. It’s a must see for a Rami fan :)
The War at Home:
So, I will admit this is a terrible show (at least what I’ve seen of it) but omfg Rami is an absolute delight in this show. He is the only good thing about it, and the only character who has an arc. He plays a gay teenager and he totally nails the role. There is a compilation of all his parts on Youtube and it’s worth it to watch,
#valkyrie-athena#responses#rami malek#thanks for the ask#this was fun to put together#although i feel like i'm missing something big#besides mr.robot lol#i dunno#now i know i need to make more papillon and war at home gifs#cuz none of mine really worked for this
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Bar Musings
Part 5. I struggled with this one a little bit. Shawn is not in this part that much (sorry), but he will be everywhere in the next one. I would love to know your thoughts! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! -xx.
She luckily had a few seconds to calm her heart rate before Kate had met her at the elevator bank with Joe. They showed her the pristine apartment and then talked briefly about the price and utilities. Kate could leave her current apartment at the end of November because her lease was monthly. This meant they could be moving in within two weeks.
After viewing his apartment, she and Kate walked over to Bee’s for a bite and to discuss everything.
“I don’t know, Kate. It’s beautiful, but I’m not gonna lie. Living with Joe might be weird.” She picked up a french fry— her current stress level was high.
“Okay, that’s fair. Why don’t we invite Joe out to dinner sometime this week? And you can get a chance to know him more. That way you can see if living with him is a possibility.”
Kate took a bite of her burger. It had been too big of a bite because some ketchup ran down her cheek. She grabbed for the stack of napkins on the table and they were knocked onto the floor. She watched the mess happen and gave a half smile at Kate’s mess.
Kate was rather clumsy. Although she couldn’t talk because she was just as bad, which is part of the reason they got along so well in college. Moving into her dorm a few years ago had been hectic and sweaty. The lines for the elevator to get up to the dorm were ridiculous. Not wanting to wait and ignoring the heat, her dad convinced her that they could make it up the stairs without a problem. So, with her father in the lead, they dragged her two suitcases up four flights of stairs. She was trailing behind, and it was a good thing she was not in front of her father. By the time she made it to the fourth floor landing, her sweaty grip hadn’t held and her suitcase tumbled down the stairs. Flinging her super plus tampons (not the cute little ones), thongs, period granny panties, bras, and her stuffed animal, Elliot, all over the stairwell. She had lost her footing when the suitcase went down, but luckily her father was agile and grabbed her arm before she took a tumble too. Kate happened to be on the third-floor landing when her things rained down like confetti. She caught her suitcase from passing the third floor, but in doing so, sent her box of DVDs down the stairs. The only casualty of the whole ordeal was Love Actually, which she replaced for Kate the same day. Their first encounter had been quite memorable-– “here are your tampons.” “Thanks, and here’s My Bloody Valentine.” The irony hadn’t been lost on her.
“Hmm,” she played with the half grilled cheese left on her plate.
“Hey, what’s up?” Kate inquired noting her mood.
“It sounds great, Kate.” She said halfheartedly and dropped the fry to her plate.
“No, what’s really bothering you? You were pretty quiet back at the apartment.”
“I-I-I’m feeling so many different emotions right now, and I don’t know how to process it all. I’m sorry. I do want to meet up with Joe. I think it’ll be good,” she took a breath, “I just… Tom, and Shawn, and grad school…”
“I know. It’s a lot.”
“It is a lot. Is it weird that I don’t feel as sad about Tom as I thought I was going to?”
Kate wiped her fingers on a napkin rescued from the floor and picked up a fry, “No, you were mentally mourning that relationship long before it was officially over.
“You missed some,” she pointed to Kate’s ketchup cheek, “and yeah, but we were engaged. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sad and I do miss him, but not in the way I thought I would.”
“What? More like he was a friend than a boyfriend?”
“Kind of, I guess so.”
“It wasn’t a healthy relationship in the end.”
“No, it really wasn’t,” she continued to play with her grilled cheese.
“And Keira did nothing to help that,” Kate added, “you dodged a bullet.”
She forcefully snorted, “psycho.”
Keira and Tom had “dated” in fourth grade. It lasted for two weeks, and yet that was a fact that Keira felt the need to bring up every single time they were all together. She felt compelled to tell her that she knew Tom better, and would make jokes about how she had him first. No one thought any of this was funny except for Tom. Keira, in his eyes, could do no wrong, and it was a fight they had a few too many times.
She added, “maybe Keira will finally make moves.”
Kate paused, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she already has, or maybe not. Maybe it was only fun because she got to torment you. I don’t remember her being as clingy with Tom when you weren’t around.”
She rolled her eyes, “it’s in the past.”
Kate nodded in agreement with her mouth full.
“Oh, call Joe, and invite him out to dinner on Friday. I think it’s a good idea.”
The side door to Bee’s opened, the bells attached to the frame twinkled. Into the warmth came G and a beautiful blonde woman. It was undeniably G, if nothing else, the height and the beard gave him away. The couple sat in a booth across the diner. She eagerly looked at the door again, hoping that just maybe he’d appear too.
“What,” Kate probed. Her cheeks heated at the realization that she was half standing from her seat to get a better view. Kate leaned over and stuck her head in the aisle of the diner to look at what had her so preoccupied.
“Who is that?”
“That’s G, and I think, his girlfriend.”
Kate went back to her burger, “the one who was drugged?”
“Shh,” her eyes widened looked around to see if anyone overheard their discussion.
“Oh, come off it. They’re all the way over there.”
“Kate,” she warned.
Kate smirked at her paranoia, “okay. I’m sorry. So now what happened again?”
“I’m not entirely sure what happened, other than that she’s okay,” she practically whispered.
“How’d you hear that?”
“Shawn told me,” she lowered her voice again and this time Kate laughed, “stop mocking me.” She whined and Kate laughed harder.
“Wait a second. Shawn told you?”
Her cheeks colored almost immediately, and her face felt hot. Internally, she cursed her genetics for making her so easy to read. Kate smirked, “ah, so you bumped into him? Where?”
“He actually lives in the same building as Joe.”
“No way. We need to move in then!”
“What? That cannot be the reason we decide to make a thousand-dollar decision.”
“It’s not the only reason! But oh, come on, think about how fun and easy that relationship would be.”
She giggled softly, allowing herself to think about Kate’s suggestion, at the thought of creeping up in the middle of the night to see him. Him bringing food by when she was too lazy to move. Stealing his jacket. Maybe have some of her reoccurring dreams like the one from this morning actually transpire. It would be just an elevator ride…Her smile stilled and she looked at her left ring finger which was resting on her mug of hot chocolate. She barely knew Shawn, and she had literally just gotten out of a relationship in which she had been engaged. Was it too soon to even be joking about moving on? She didn’t even know if Shawn really liked her or if he was just being friendly. She ran her fingers along the rim of her mug.
Kate reached out and put her hand on her arm, stopping her trailing fingers. “Hey,” Kate said softly, “what’s going on in your head?”
“It’s just –—“ The front door of Bee’s chimed announcing another patron’s entrance. They didn’t have a clear of a view of the front door from their booth. The figure was wearing a snapback and running shorts. Whoever it was, was extremely tall. Kate looked round at the sound too, “I call dibs on this one. You can have Shawn.”
She laughed, “what about Joe?”
“What about him? We’re not dating.”
The man walked over to G’s booth and sat. She felt a giggle bubble up at the absurdity of her life, and pulled her leaning body back into the booth, away from any prying eyes that might see her in the aisle. She couldn’t stop laughing. Kate looked confused.
“That is Shawn,” she breathed out and let out another chuckle, “sorry. I- it just took us weeks to bump into each other and now I’m seeing him everywhere.”
Kate smiled at her, and pointed her hamburger at her, “it’s a sign. Go over there.”
She shook her head and bit into her now cool grilled cheese causing her to grimace, “no let’s just finish our dinner and maybe I’ll say goodbye.”
“Why are you being weird?” Kate tossed a fry at her. It hit her shoulder bounced onto her plate.
She picked it up and took a bite, “I’m not being weird. I just don’t want him to think I’m stalking him.”
“Girl, that doesn’t even make sense. Why would he think that?”
Her phone vibrated on the table. She flipped it over.
iMessage from (xxx)xxx-xxxx: Picture attachment.
Kate leaned over the table to see the message and laughed, “looks like he’s the one giving off stalker vibes.”
The photo was of Kate tossing a fry at her in their booth. It was clearly taken from across the diner.
iMessage from (xxx)xxx-xxxx: I spy a jacket thief
She poked her head out from the booth again and laughed when she made eye contact with him. He looked… hot. His curls were spilling from under the snapback, and his cheeks were rosy. He looked like he just came from a run. He was grinning widely at her, and when she poked her head out, he stood and made his way over with a water bottle in hand.
Her eyes widened slightly and she pulled back into the booth a bit – feeling terrified and elated. Kate was still staring at Shawn, and under her breath appraisingly whispered, “fuck.”
He stopped at their table and smiled warmly at her, “long time.”
“Too long,” she found herself smiling back. It had only been a few hours.
Kate grabbed her purse, and scooted to the end of the booth to stand, “well, I hate to leave, but I have to finish all that paperwork for my current lease. Maybe you can find someone here to keep you company.” She teased and pulled her coat on. Shawn introduced himself to Kate with a smile.
“I’m Kate. Think you can take on this awful task of keeping her company while I’m gone?”
“Eh, I don’t know,” Shawn looked over at her still sitting in the booth. Her heart jumped.
“I mean, she is quite low maintenance. Occasionally requires wine and chocolate, but mostly she’s self-sufficient,” Kate joked.
“Toilet trained,” He looked back at Kate for an answer.
“Hey!” she called from her spot in the booth. They all laughed.
Kate put her scarf on, “nice meeting you,” she directed at Shawn, “see you at home.” Kate gave her a pointed look that said she wanted details later.
Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! -xx.
@accioalena
#bar musings#shawn mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes fic#shawn peter raul mendes#sm#imagine#fic#loveturtlesx#part 5
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Like many Marvel characters, Stan Lee was a flawed hero
by Christopher Murray
Stan Lee (1922-2018). Gage Skidmore, CC BY-SA
Stan Lee was the voice of my childhood. As I sat transfixed by Spider-Man cartoons on Saturday mornings, his energetic narration welcomed me into the story; made me feel part of the gang. Never mind that the animation wasn’t up to much; it looked like a comic, had a great theme tune, and Stan “The Man” Lee, my buddy, was giving it his personal seal of approval.
Famously, Lee originally honed this warm persona in print. The words “Stan Lee Presents” in the Marvel comics I was also feverishly devouring – black and white British reprints of the American originals – were a guarantee of quality. When he signed off a letters page or editorial with his trademark “Excelsior!” I never failed to smile. I was, and remain in many respects, a “True Believer”, as Lee called all dedicated Marvel readers. As we shall see, however, the man’s performance masked some uncomfortable truths.
Lee, born Stanley Martin Lieber, had been working in comics since 1939. He was first an office assistant for Timely, the company that went on to become Marvel, before becoming an editor and writer. He would eventually rise to editor-in-chief, chairman and publisher, but it was his work as a writer in the early 1960s that changed comics forever.
youtube
At the time, superheroes had fallen out of favour, following the heyday of Superman and Batman in the 1930s and 1940s. Marvel now helped turn that around, with angsty rebellious heroes like The Fantastic Four (launched 1961), Spider-Man (1962), The Hulk (1962), The X-Men (1963) and so many more.
A huge part of the success was the fantastic artwork and storytelling of two other comics geniuses, Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko. But nobody wrote like Stan. Having written many romance and horror comics in the 1950s, his tone was over-the-top, bombastic and mock-Shakespearean – but always warm and inviting.
The mythos that Lee created also extended to the gang behind the scenes. In regular features “Bullpen Bulletins” and “Stan’s Soapbox”, he wove tales of the Marvel Bullpen, the lively creative hub at the centre of the studio’s success, with characters like Jack “King” Kirby and “Sturdy” Steve Ditko. This human touch was Lee’s gift. He made these comics creators seem like friends, and made the readers feel like part of a gang or club.
Bullpen blues
When I learned about the history of Marvel Comics later in life, I realised that things were not always as they seemed. The angst in those Spider-Man and Hulk comics wasn’t all on the page; like any business, there were tensions and rivalries behind the scenes. Many of the artists who worked with Lee harboured deep resentments.
In the 1960s, Lee and the artists developed what became known as the “Marvel method” of creating comics. At rival DC Comics, home of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, the editor was king, and kept a firm grip on the factory-line production process of creating a comic. But at Marvel, Lee would come up with a story idea and pass it to the artist as a kind of pitch or brief.
This allowed for huge creative freedom and sped up the production process considerably – a real benefit for a small company with big ambitions. But the artists’ work was not always fully recognised. They were being credited purely for the art when they were often creating the characters and story, too – before Lee layered the dialogue and captions on top.
Jack Kirby in 1992. Wikimedia
Lee compounded this recognition problem in interviews and in books like Origins of Marvel Comics (1974), where he talked enthusiastically about how he had created all the stories and characters. The artists knew different. Frustrated by creative differences, Ditko left in 1965 and Kirby went five years later.
To make matters worse, their original artwork often wasn’t returned to them – at a time when a community of comic collectors was coming together and a market was emerging for this artwork. Marvel made millions exploiting the rights to the characters and stories while the artists received very little.
Having risen to a position of power in the company, Lee could have shared more of the profits – and the limelight. But he was a showman, an impresario, and a businessman. He took the credit and protected the company he had worked so hard to build. As a salaried company man, he was not always as loyal to his collaborators – many of whom were freelancers.
Later in the 1970s and early 1980s, when young comics creators like Frank Millar were championing creator rights and lobbying for the return of artwork to Kirby and his family, Lee was sometimes cast as the villain. I am sure he wasn’t. But like the best Marvel heroes, he was certainly flawed. He could have been at the forefront of creator rights and made the “Marvel method” stand for something more. Instead, Marvel ended up echoing practices at DC Comics, where artists like Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, creators of Superman, were made to wait decades, often in crushing poverty, for a small share of the profits.
Citizen Stan. Kathy Hutchins
The consequences of Lee’s silence were considerable, not just for those in the Bullpen but for following generations of comics creators. Even now, the relationship between publishers and creators over rights and profit-sharing has been rocky to say the least. Lee was courageous in other ways – his comics battled racism, for instance, and he wrote a landmark essay on the subject in 1968. It also goes without saying that he helped create characters who continue to inspire millions. But had he taken a stand on creators’ rights, the industry and comics historians might not be so divided on his legacy today.
Postscript: Stan’s last act
Stan Lee’s later years seemed tumultuous. He would make appearances at huge comic cons looking tired, and taking photos with huge numbers of fans who paid for the privilege of meeting him. This prompted suspicions that those in charge of Lee’s business affairs didn’t always have his best interests at heart. Earlier this year, his lawyer brought a suit against his handlers accusing them of elder abuse.
A couple of years back, I had a chance to meet my hero at a New York Comic Con. I watched as others had their photos taken with this frail old man, and wondered how I’d condense all I wanted to say, about what he meant to me, what he’d contributed to the world. And to ask about his proudest moments, his deepest regrets. But all that was on offer were a few seconds of The Man’s time, and a weak smile.
So I decided not to get my photo with him. I don’t know if I made the right decision, but on hearing of Lee’s death I asked an artist friend, Elliot Balson, to draw a picture of me meeting him (below). I know it’s self-indulgent, but I’m finally meeting this man who gave me so much, where I’ve always met him – in the comics.
‘Chris meets Stan’. Elliot Balson
About The Author:
Christopher Murray is a Professor of Comics Studies at the University of Dundee
This article is republished from our content partners at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.
#comics#RIP Stan Lee#Marvel Comics#Stan Lee#Jack Kirby#Steve Ditko#American industry#scifi#DC Comics
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