#I am definitely going to do psychology | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catboybiologist · 2 months

Note

“As a biologist, the terms biological woman and man don’t make any sense to me” okay then you’re an idiot and a terrible biologist. I swear to god, morons like you only become biologists just so you can hold it over others, when in reality, if biology deniers like you can become biologists, then being one really doesn’t mean much anyway. But this probably just gave an autogynophile like you a boner to read, anyway.

Oh fun! Haven't gotten one of these in a while. Disregarding the fact that you somehow think the qualification for being a biologist entirely hinges on defining womanhood, I do need to ask some clarification. I know I'm feeding the trolls here, but here we go: does your definition of "biological woman" mean:

Sociological woman? Eh, context dependent, I'm not fully out of the closet, but oftentimes, I am and present femme. So let's call that one 50/50.

Psychological woman? Because I am one.

Neurological woman? Because I am one [1].

Physical woman? My soft tissue redistribution is handling that well.

Hormonal woman? My blood tests are within cis female ranges.

Transcriptional woman? As a signalling molecule, the downstream effects of estrogen have broad transcriptional effects, completely changing the profile of gene expression and functional genomics of my cells. [2]

Genetic woman? I mean, see my above point- as far as my genes that are actually active, I have all of the same transcripts being produced, controlling which genes are expressed.

Karyotypic woman? I actually have a few signs pre-HRT that might point to a non-XY chromosome pair, but I haven't had a karyotype. We'll put that down as unknown. And hell, even if its XY, there's plenty of cis women who are karyotypically XY, with suppressed sry or complete androgen insensitivity. Interestingly enough, a completely androgen insesitive woman can go her whole life without knowing- and functionally, is very similar to a trans woman, actually. Fancy that. [3]

Reproductive woman? I can't produce an egg cell, but neither can significant fractions of cis women. Also, this is all gonna change soon, which is fun. [4]

There's also a lot of understudied aspects to the biology of HRT and even pre-HRT that are emerging, largely demonstrating widespread cellular and genetic remodeling of trans individuals undergoing hormone therapy. The field is a bit behind due to constant political pressure to revoke funding, but a lot of the results are extremely exciting in both testosterone and estrogen hormone therapies. I'm sure that, as a self professed biology As someone who presumably has a lot of expertise in biology, I'm assuming that you're aware of all of this cutting edge research, and are keeping up with modern papers, including but not limited to these cool findings:

Trans men on HRT exhibit significant genetic and transcriptional changes that make them biochemically male. [5][6]. It's a good hypothesis that the same happens with estrogen treatment, but those studies don't exist yet- I'm sure you're reserving judgment until more publications exist, of course.

Trans men on HRT develop male cell types and tissues. [7]

Trans women experience muscular and blood cell changes that align with cis women moreso than cis men [8]

And many, many more! This is an exciting, underserved, and groundbreaking field of research, and I'm sure you're keeping up with the latest in scientific journals about it.

I'm sure, of course, that you understand that it becomes impossible to draw a distinct line anywhere in here, and that words like "woman" are shorthand for the myriad of traits that invisibly synthesize in our mind and in society to represent a concept? I'm sure you understand that science is fundamentally descriptive, not prescriptive? I'm sure that you understand that these findings, while really cool and interesting, actually don't mean jack shit about what the word "woman" means or not?

As someone who is the ultimate decider in what a biologist is, I'm sure you know that bioessentiallism is a childish mindset that completely ignores and disregards the constantly changing, dynamic nature of biological systems, something that extends well beyond biological sex and its relation to gender.

I'm sure that also, that you understand that beyond just this, that the role of science in society is to advise how to achieve our moral principles, not create moral principles in themselves. And I'm sure that understanding means you know that trans affirming healthcare and supportive societal treatment leads to reduced mortality and increased happiness for everyone, right?

So great to talk to someone who is surely a scientist on this. You are a biologist, if you're talking like this, I assume? I assume you're not going to spit complete misreadings of scientific language from the background sections of these papers that only reveal you've never read a scientific paper in your life if you're thinking this way? I assume you have experience interpreting data like this?

Also, imagining my genitalia while writing this? Ew. Please stop projecting your fetishes into my inbox.

Works cited:

Kurth F, Gaser C, Sánchez FJ, Luders E. Brain Sex in Transgender Women Is Shifted towards Gender Identity. J Clin Med. 2022 Mar 13;11(6):1582. doi: 10.3390/jcm11061582. PMID: 35329908; PMCID: PMC8955456.

Fuentes N, Silveyra P. Estrogen receptor signaling mechanisms. Adv Protein Chem Struct Biol. 2019;116:135-170. doi: 10.1016/bs.apcsb.2019.01.001. Epub 2019 Feb 4. PMID: 31036290; PMCID: PMC6533072.

Gottlieb B, Trifiro MA. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. 1999 Mar 24 [Updated 2017 May 11]. In: Adam MP, Feldman J, Mirzaa GM, et al., editors. GeneReviews® [Internet]. Seattle (WA): University of Washington, Seattle; 1993-2024. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK1429/

Murakami, K., Hamazaki, N., Hamada, N. et al. Generation of functional oocytes from male mice in vitro. Nature 615, 900–906 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-05834-x

Pallotti F, Senofonte G, Konstantinidou F, Di Chiano S, Faja F, Rizzo F, Cargnelutti F, Krausz C, Paoli D, Lenzi A, Stuppia L, Gatta V, Lombardo F. Epigenetic Effects of Gender-Affirming Hormone Treatment: A Pilot Study of the ESR2 Promoter's Methylation in AFAB People. Biomedicines. 2022 Feb 16;10(2):459. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines10020459. PMID: 35203670; PMCID: PMC8962414.

Florian Raths, Mehran Karimzadeh, Nathan Ing, Andrew Martinez, Yoona Yang, Ying Qu, Tian-Yu Lee, Brianna Mulligan, Suzanne Devkota, Wayne T. Tilley, Theresa E. Hickey, Bo Wang, Armando E. Giuliano, Shikha Bose, Hani Goodarzi, Edward C. Ray, Xiaojiang Cui, Simon R.V. Knott, The molecular consequences of androgen activity in the human breast, Cell Genomics, Volume 3, Issue 3, 2023, 100272, ISSN 2666-979X, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xgen.2023.100272. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666979X23000320)

Xu R, Diamond DA, Borer JG, Estrada C, Yu R, Anderson WJ, Vargas SO. Prostatic metaplasia of the vagina in transmasculine individuals. World J Urol. 2022 Mar;40(3):849-855. doi: 10.1007/s00345-021-03907-y. Epub 2022 Jan 16. PMID: 35034167.

Harper J, O'Donnell E, Sorouri Khorashad B, McDermott H, Witcomb GL. How does hormone transition in transgender women change body composition, muscle strength and haemoglobin? Systematic review with a focus on the implications for sport participation. Br J Sports Med. 2021 Aug;55(15):865-872. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2020-103106. Epub 2021 Mar 1. PMID: 33648944; PMCID: PMC8311086.

#cw transphobia #biology #basic biology

8K notes · View notes

nerrissadevampyre · 1 year

Text

I no longer have twitter but like i need to scream this somewhere at almost 3 am and it's not a socially accepted hour to just call your besties so;

Ancient greek is either the language of the gods themselves or absolutely batshit crazy, there's no in between and sometimes both of these statements are true at the same time at the same freaking sentence and strangely enough i am not mad at the language itself but damn do i wish my future didn't depend on it fr

#panhellenic exams for uni are an entire different level of psychological torment #like people here only talk of three things in their entire freaking lives: their 5-day long trip at the last grade of highschool #then their army service #and boom then the Panhellenics #it is freaking wild but damn everyone acting as if those exams are the definition of your entire value is absolutely freaking beyond me #like they groom you for the entirety of the mandatory 12 school years for taking these exams and how important it is to do well in them #and then the tv starts blasting success stories of 100 genius kids amongst 100.000 and no word for those of us who simply aren't geniuses #despite our best efforts #it's the second time i am going through that process and damn it's getting on my nervous system manifesting as inexplicable constant stress #this exams just are too much of a burden to carry one way or another for almost 14 years now

1 note · View note

suguruplsr · 8 months

Note

ex geto as you roommate (love your work🩷🩷)

Ex suguru as your roommate!

✰ ✰ ✰ roommate!ex!suguru headcannons !

જ⁀➴ mind was racing, heart beating, thighs quivering, toes sh****** — when i saw this <3 and ty ilyyyy

,,roommate!ex!suguru x ex!fem!reader , suguru is toxic a bit , and a asshole , he brings girls over , soft sex , idk 🧍🏾‍♀️

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who you broke up with after finding out he was talking to multiple girls on campus. even a few you knew and smiled to your face while their nudes were in their messages with him. but you didn't have any choice but to stay with him, only as his roomate of course.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who finds the changes in not only how you two act with each other, but how you live together, a nuisance. his room no longer cluttered with a few of your belongings, the smell of your body wash fading away in his sheets, (he didn't wash them and his pillow case for nearly 3 weeks), your voice waking him softly, the sound of the front door closing right as he wakes up with no aroma of food, all of it was gone.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who can't handle it. hearing your voice through the thin walls, talking to some guy over the phone. he's sure he knows the guy. a goodie two-shoes with absolutely no game at all. at least in suguru's opinion. it's bewildering that the guy even got you to the point of talking to him in that oh so sultry voice that you used to use on suguru himself. even if it was directed towards him. just hearing it made his heart, and something else jump.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who starts waking up early. up at 8 am, drinking a cup coffee, (his 4th cup), with nothing but a dark pair of sweats on, and his hair messy and untied. he’d scroll through his phone, not responding to his messages of girls he hasn’t talked to after the break up. all just to see you up and ready for a good 15 minutes before you leave for nearly 12 hours, and he's sure you're not that busy, you're so cute avoiding and ignoring his existence.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who's just so nosy, and doesn't know what to do with knowing that you're actually moving on from him. so he begins to tell you little lies, "that guy? no, the really smart one. yea, he's just fucking the psychology professor for a good grade.", "i heard some guy got your number yesterday. don't worry about who told me- he has herpes!" , "did you hear about that rumor of him and his sister? yes i saw that clown kissing her” he can’t let you leave him just yet, maybe he should start threatening people?

Roommate!Ex!Suguru whose lies are just so funny to you. you know what is true and what’s not. and you also know he’s just being a huge dick. but you can’t help but indulge him just a tiny bit and cut off a few guys just to see how his eyes twinkle, with a small, “i told you so.” it makes you feel jittery, desperately wanting to just, ‘burst his bubble’, and call him out on his bull.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who begins to realize that despite you listening to his words, you aren’t as affected as he wishes you were. he knows it’s wrong to be upset that his, not-so-good, actions aren’t enough to push you over the edge. over back to him. he can still hear you talking to that one guy. you met him like a month ago and you’ve been going on dates with him every single week. he knows his ego is too big, especially to think that he’s better than some smart, preppy, cute guy. but he can’t help it.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who begins to get petty. talking to new girls and finding quick fuck buddies whose names he can’t remember. but what he eventually did, which definitely pissed you off, was bring them home. sneaking them in the house and fucking them closer to your shared wall. acting clueless when you cuss him out in the morning. you never showed your face to them though, knowing that he picks a new girl every week so it was best just avoid the temporary girls. maybe he never saves their numbers because even he finds their shrills annoying. it makes you facepalm, the dick is never that good.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who actually hooks up with one girl more than once. surprising you when she walks out his room, finding you, who was making a bowl of cereal before you get ready for work.

“And who the hell are you..?” you sigh at the sound of her snob tone. but you can’t blame her. “i’m his roomate, and i’m leaving.” short and sweet. respectful. and yet she just had to open her mouth, “of course. geto wouldn’t fuck someone like you..” she trails off under her breath, making you whip your head with a roll of you eyes. “oh please. suguru, has fucked me more times than i can count. and you aren’t going to disrespect me where i live, so good day ma’am.” you open the door, a smug look on your face as she stomps out.

“did you really have to do that..” suguru slumped out of his room with a yawn, feigned annoyance on his pretty face, but you could tell he felt rather happy from the crinkle of his eyes. you aren’t sure why he’s obviously deriving some joy from seeing you kick out one of his hoes. but it makes your lips curl in a smile. “stop having sex with girls while i’m here. plus i think her wig was slipping.” your eyes soften at the sight of him covering his croaky laugh. you follow in suite with a few chuckles as you two actually continue the conversation, talking for nearly an hour before you have to go.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who you begin to get more comfortable with compared to before. the tension between you two lessening within weeks. you two even continued having your late night horror movies, which you stopped after breaking up, or talking to each for hours about gossip that you two bring home. hell, both of you spent two hours talking about the guy you’ve been seeing, piecing up to the fact that he may have been a bad ex of some girl you knew. suguru was fairly happy when you called the guy and broke things off.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who starts to change as your friendship heals. becoming more involved in things he actually likes, cutting off on his smoking and drinking habits, getting good grades, working out. you knew he was genuine about his growth in becoming more healthy from him doing it unconsciously and without question.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru whose change slowly attracts you. its refreshing. but you knew from his glances and small intimate touches, that he still wanted you. you thought he’d be over you after nearly 5 months but you’ve decided to wait. maybe he’s caught on to your own fleeting actions? anytime you’re touching him, he makes it a mission to have your hands on him longer than they should be.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who gets bolder after a small incident of him accidentally cornering you…

“that’s the salt.” “oh..” you sigh playfully as he puts the salt back, searching for the sugar again and moving around you. you admit, it was kinda scary how his taller build just towered over you. large arms going around your head and— wait what?

pausing, you place the knife down on the cutting board and look up. suguru’s jaw was way above you, one of his long and large arms around your whole body to reach up to the cabinet as he searched for the sugar shaker. turning, you tried to move away but his other arm blocked your way.

and of course. with the way your kitchen was styled, part of the counter blocked the other side. “suguru….” your voice comes out quieter than you wish it did, so meek and quiet. “suguru..” you say it louder, making him halt and look down at you. god, you looked adorable, your eyes trying to look anywhere but him, biting your lip. gesturing to the sink, you stammer, eyes flickering up to him only to look away. “you’re kinda..” “oh- sorry”

suguru immediately moves away, watching silently as you wash your hands. he could tell how nervous you were from how you had let your hands stay in the water a little longer than needed, taking a deep breath. so cute.

Roommate!Ex!Suguru who lets his hands linger on you more, sometimes guiding your body when moving around you, or helping you out. “your bonnet’s falling a bit, lemme fix that right quick.” and you know it doesn’t take that long to adjust your bonnet. you know it doesn’t take that long to get a piece of lint off you. you know it doesn’t take that long to fix your necklace. you know. yet you never speak out on it. but maybe that’s why he keeps doing it.

Roomate!Ex!Suguru who makes small innuendos when you least expect it. loving the small gasp that escapes your lips, head whipping to him with traces of your ice cream on your lips. “what? i’m just saying~” he’d tease, wiping off the ice cream and licking it off his thumb. the tension quickly easing as you slap his shoulder with a huff.

Roomate!Ex!Suguru who knows you both aren’t shy of knowing each other's bodies. but you two can’t help but act like little virgins who can’t handle being near each other without getting nervous. it’s like falling in love all over again, but with sexual tension. and it's killing him. you both know what you want so why not act on it and try again. together.

Roomate!Ex!Suguru who works you up, annoying you and turning you on all in one day only to shut you up with a kiss. which leads to both of you eventually stumbling onto the couch..

“m’so sorry baby.. should’ve been better” you huff as suguru mutters the nth apology, his feather like kisses on your neck numbing the pain of his cock sliding into to you for the first time in what feels like forever. “i know— um, oh fuck.. sugu, please, it’s okay! i..” your whimpers make suguru’s eyes lock onto you, leaving little scratches on his chest.

he was in deep. cock pushed to the hilt and right at your sweet spot. just pressing it. but he just wouldn’t move, your pussy was so tight, so he could just grind into you and he’s sure he’d cum. “s-sorry baby. i’m just so sorry n’ i can’t think. fuckin’ pussy is a-amazing..” suguru closes his eyes tight. his voice having an undertone of a whine as he slowly rocks his cock in and out of you.

“uh— mm, your so deep suguru~ just like this.. still need ta’ get used to it” your moan has a chuckle leaving his lips. both of you were in a drunk haze of sex and emotions, unable to even fuck properly. “yea? o-ok. that’s fine. but please tell me you’re gonna take me back after this. fuck. really wanna be with you again. i love you so much and—“

you cut him off like a small kiss, a ditzy smile playing on your lips, “of course you idiot. i don’t just let anyone fuck me. not on a couch of all things. a-and i love you too.” your nails dig into his shoulder at the feeling of his cock dragging in slowly. it made you feel delirious, and him leaning down to continue the kisses topped it off, speaking between them, “then i’m not fucking you. i’m making— ha, love to you..”

1K notes · View notes

alvojake · 8 days

Text

The Murder House | Masterlist & Intro ⏃

↳ this is inspired by an ask from the lovely @addictedtohobi

「parings」 : enha x fem!reader

「synopsis」 : it was Halloween season once again, and your brother begged you and your friends to go to this new hit escape room that just came into town; the only problem? you hated going to them almost as much as you hated waking up early in the morning. however, being the good friend and sister you were you went with them. you expected cheesy props, dumb riddles and questions, and a rigged room, so you couldn't get out even if you got the right answers. what you weren't expecting was being drugged and waking up in a room with a dead body and separated from all of your friends.

「genre」 : horror/thriller, gore, angst, psychological thriller, mystery

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, heavy gore, blood, murder, mentions of suicide, cussing, death, manipulation, mentions of being drugged, toxic behavior, other specific warnings on individual parts.

𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆

「taglist」 : OPEN

↳ a/n: I have decided to make this into a short series because I just know trying to write one long fic won't suffice, so I am making it into separate parts! I am super excited to see what you guys think so far and to hear all of your theories. don't forget to read the intro at the bottom!! I will be figuring out release dates for all of the parts at a later time, but they will all be subject to change depending on multiple factors! also, if you were on the taglist located on the wip post, then you are still on there, so don't worry! with that being said you will only be added to the taglist if you are 18+ and your age is visible on your page. if you don't meet either of those criteria, you will be ignored.

「start」 : May 8th, 2024 「end」 : TBD

「synopsis」 : after waking up trapped in a room with a dead body, you are saved by none other than heeseung, but you're still left with questions. why were you and your friends trapped there, and who is behind it all? though it would seem that you won't be getting your answers very easily and definitely not without a few losses. 「word count」 : est. 10k+ (current - 5.1k) 「warnings」 : blood, dead body, cussing, mentions of murder, mind games, drugging, mentions of mental health disorders (anxiety, panic attacks, etc...), will add more as I write... 「release date」 : est. may 17th - 20th (subject to change)

「synopsis」 : with everyone's lives on the line will luck be on your side? except it seems like whoever trapped you here doesnt plan on letting any of you leave that easy... suspicion is rising and trust is starting to falter, but can you save everyone and bust whoever put you and your friends through this hell? 「word count」 : ~ 「warnings」 : 「release date」 : TBD

「synopsis」 : 「word count」 : ~ 「warnings」 : 「release date」 : TBD

“Come on, y/n. We never get the chance to do this!” Riki whined as he draped his taller frame over your back, causing you to slouch forward. You let out an annoyed huff, letting your hands fall to your lap. Your phone slid from your fingers as you tilted your head to look back at your brother.

“Riki, how many times have I told you that I hate going to things like that?” You pushed back against him, causing the boy to fall dramatically back on the couch. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed your discarded phone off the ground, Riki watching you with a pout.

“You watch too many horror movies,” he grumbled, remembering all the nights you would watch horror movies only to have some new-found fear afterward, even if it was something completely unnecessary.

You dropped your phone once more before glaring up at your brother, “ya know, there is always some truth to them.”

“y/n, please. They are just movies. Complete fiction. Ghosts aren’t real.” Riki rolled his eyes, picking at the loose strings of the couch cushion.

“Even rumors stem from some kind of truth, Riki.” You huffed out, but it didn’t seem like your brother would stop pestering you until you finally gave in. So after hours of continuously asking and begging, you finally gave in to him, telling him that you would ask your friends only if he brought his own.

And he agreed.

When that dreadful night finally came, you were stuck in a car with all of your friends. The crisp October air was cold on your skin, but the heating in the vehicle that Jay had turned on was enough to leave you comfortable. Jake had some random playlist filling the speakers jamming out in the passenger seat while Jungwon, Sunghoon, and Heeseung were crammed into the far back of the SUV, all three on the brink of passing out from how long the drive was.

“I thought you said this place was in town, Riki.” You grumbled, flexing your jaw, trying to ease the discomfort from having it placed on your hand as you stared mindlessly out the car window. However, now that it was fully dark outside, there wasn’t much to look at, seeing that there were no streetlights.

“I mean, the address said it was in town; how was I supposed to know it was in the ass crack of it?” Riki sassed as he scrolled through his phone, looking at whatever was posted on social media.

“Language, dude.” Jay scolded the boy, his eyes staring at him through the rearview mirror.

“Korean, what else?”

Pursing your lips, you reached over and landed a smack on the back of his head, resulting in him letting out a groan as his head fell forward.

“What was that for?!” Riki exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head as he looked over at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t be such a smart ass.” You scolded him, and Riki grumbled before showing Sunoo something on his phone.

Shaking your head, you lean forward, resting your arms on the back of Jay’s seat, “How much longer do we have to go?”

Jay quickly glanced at you from the rearview mirror, much like he did Riki, before glancing down at the GPS on his dash.

"It's saying we have about ten or so minutes left until we get there." He told you before putting his eyes back on the road.

It was then that you started to notice just how desolate the surrounding area was. If this was such a hit attraction, why weren't any other cars around? Or any kind of sign of life. It was starting to give you the creeps. However, you just reminded yourself that you were doing this for your brother and that it was probably just your imagination playing tricks on you. So you just tried to relax, sitting back in your seat once more, eyes staring out at the blackness of the trees.

That feeling of unease only grew more once Jay pulled into the driveway, and you noticed that there wasn’t a single car in sight. You pulled your seatbelt off slowly, eyes searching everywhere, trying to find anything to settle this unnerving feeling that was twisting in your gut. As you opened the door, welcoming the chilling air outside, goosebumps littered your skin.

“Come on, y/n, get out. My legs are cramping!” Riki complained, pushing on your shoulder and urging you to leave the vehicle.

With a shaky sigh, you slowly let your foot fall to the ground, your knees feeling like jelly. Jay stepped out of the car, pocketing the keys before looking over at you. His eyebrows scrunched together, taking in the uneasy expression on your face.

“Hey, y/n, are you okay?” he asked, softly taking your arm and pulling you away from the open door so everyone else could pile out.

“Yeah, it’s just…” You trailed on as your eyes caught sight of the small sign that was hammered into the ground.

The Murder House

You could have sworn that you felt your heart stop. What kind of douchebag names their escape room that? As if the air around you wasn’t suffocating enough, seeing that only made it feel like you were fighting for your breath.

“Sunoo, you’re in the back on the way home.” Heeseung groans as he stretches out, his joints groaning in protest. Sunoo just gave the older male the side eye before moving to stand on the other side of Jake, who had just gotten out of the car.

“Riki, I thought you said this was a hit attraction.” You looked over at your brother, who was inspecting the area much like you were until his eyes landed on you. “Why is there no one here?”

“Calm your tits, sis. I’m sure we just came on a night that no one else wanted to?” He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, that just means we won’t get stuck with some randos.” Heeseung shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"Come on, y'know, we didn't come all this way just to chicken out," Jungwon grumbled, tossing his hair with his fingers.

You curled your lips inward, knowing that they were right and that you were just thinking too much about the situation. Crossing your arms over your chest, you nodded your head in silent agreement. Jay wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze, ignoring the prying eyes that were on the two of you.

“Don’t let it get to you too much, okay? We’ll just get it over with, and if anything, we just let the timer go out.” He whispered softly in your ear, and the warmth of his breath eased your mind slightly.

“You’re right, I’m just overthinking.” You gave him a small smile before following after him and the others.

“God damn, Riki, why did we have to walk all the way up here?” Sunghoon huffed as all of you reached the steps of the porch.

You couldn’t help but laugh, knowing he was right because that was a pretty lengthy walk uphill. All of the guys nodded in agreement before Jake walked further up the step, trying to see if you were able to get in. He then noticed a welcome sign hanging from the door, with a small basket underneath holding a piece of paper.

“It looks like we got some instructions, boys and girls,” Jake exclaimed with a broad smile, turning with the paper held high.

You looked at him uneasily as he unfolded it with a flourish and started reading it out loud so everyone could hear.

‘You will have two hours to uncover the grand mystery and escape the murder house. You will find clues and puzzles, but be careful, for everything isn’t as it seems… Good luck!’

A shiver ran down your spine as he finished reading. You weren't sure whether it was the chilling breeze that swept through or the cryptic words of the note. However, you did know that it wasn't just your mind messing with you; there was something deeply wrong with this place.

“Hey guys, this seems really weird. Maybe we should just go.” You voiced your concern, earning yourself a collection of groans from the guys.

“Oh, come on, y/n. Stop being such a negative Nancy and have some fun for once in your life.” Jake rolled his eyes, his hands falling to his side.

Your jaw clenched shut, and a glare adorned your features before you leaned forward, snatching the paper out of his hands.

“You’re such an asshole, Jake.” The words tumbled out quietly as you reread the same message that Jake had just read aloud, trying to see if there was anything else that he had missed.

“Yeah, yeah.” The brunette rolled his eyes before going on to complain about how thirsty he was and how he was sure that they would have drinks for sale or something inside. Then, without another word, he opened the door despite the multiple protests from you and a few others.

“Jake, you can’t just walk in like you own the place!” You exclaim, hands slapping against your thighs as he disappears around the corner.

Letting out a huff, you step past the threshold, trying to shake off the eerie feeling that started to settle into your bones before going in the direction you saw Jake go, everyone trailing after you.

You walked into the foyer with a groan as you saw the older male chugging down a water bottle, some of it trickling down his chin before catching on his shirt. Your eyes then trail over to a tray that sat in the center of the table, six other bottles neatly placed inside.

“Jake, you can’t just take shit that’s not yours!” You scolded him, which only caused him to stop drinking, a gasp leaving his lips as he pulled the bottle away.

Riki then walked past you, looking down at the table and seeing some kind of note. Taking it, he held it up so everyone could see.

Free refreshments!

“The host probably just sat them out for people to take.” Riki shrugged, setting the paper back down on the table before grabbing a bottle for himself.

Your stomach turned as you watched him unscrew the cap, “we can’t just trust drinks that are given to us by some random strangers.”

Heeseung then moves past you, his arm brushing yours, before grabbing one of the bottles. He inspected it for a few seconds before meeting your gaze.

"It's still sealed; there's no way someone tampered with it," he explained before twisting the cap open and swallowing a few drinks.

“Weren’t you the one complaining about being thirsty in the car?” Riki raised an eyebrow at you, and you just rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, but-” “But what, just drink the water, it’s not like you’re gonna die.” Riki quipped, causing your jaw to tighten. You knew he was right; you had been complaining about not bringing an extra drink for the road, but you weren’t quite sure if you were thirsty enough to drink some random water given out by a stranger. However, the dry feeling in your throat was telling you otherwise, so with some hesitation, you took the bottle Jay was handing you before twisting the cap off and bringing it to your lips; the liquid instantly quenched your dying thirst.

After everyone got a much-needed drink, they all needed you all gathered around the coffee table. You, Heeseung, and Jay were on the long couch while Sunoo, Niki, and Jake cramped on the loveseat, leaving the armchair for Sunghoon, Jungwon perched on the armrest.

“So… when does this game start?” Sunoo asked, leaning forward so his arms rested on his knees. Looking around, you couldn’t help but notice that the room was neatly decorated and clean, yet there was no sign of anyone being there.

Heeseung then leaned forward to grab something sitting on the table, catching everyone’s attention. He flipped it around, trying to find any indication of what it was, but nothing was written on the outside, so he opened the flap and pulled out the papers inside.

“It’s more instructions,” he explains as he starts to read them aloud. It says that as soon as the… the… sorry, I just feel really lightheaded.” He mumbles, shaking his head while squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stabilize his vision.

"Hee man, are you good?" Jay asked, putting a hand on the older male's shoulder, and Heeseung just nodded.

“Yeah, I just…” Heeseung’s words slurred as he started to sway, his eyes drooping.

Panic started to set in your chest as you noticed that Heeseung looked like he was on the brink of passing out. Just then, Jungwon slumped to the side, falling right into Sunghoon’s lap, causing him to start calling out the boy’s name.

You quickly stood to your feet to check on him, but you fell back into your seat just as soon as you stood, your vision swimming. However, as you looked around, you noticed that all of the boys were either slumped over or on the brink of passing out.

Worry then etched itself into your bones when your hazy vision landed on your brother's motionless form. You opened your mouth to call out for him and tried to get your body to move, but it wouldn't respond, and no words left your lips. Then everything seemed to fade, and your body grew weaker and weaker until you fell to the side, your head resting against Jay's back before everything went black.

Your body shot up with a gasp, and your ears rang so loud you could have thought it was coming from some kind of speaker. However, as it started to die down to a dull shrill, you realized that it was just you.

Looking around, you felt a chill run down your spine. You couldn’t see a thing. The room was shrouded in darkness, with not a single light in sight. Panic then started to set in as the earlier events started to play in your head.

Where was your brother? Or your friends? What caused you all to black out?

So many questions started filling your brain, some overlapping others as you fumbled to get to your feet. You blinked multiple times, trying to fully stabilize your vision and to see in the darkness.

A scream escaped from your lips as you tripped over something, landing in some kind of liquid. Your heartbeat roared in your ears as you hurriedly tried to get to your feet, the ringing in your ears growing louder.

Scrambling to your feet, you reach out in front of you, trying to find the wall, and as soon as you do, you start searching for the light switch. With shaky hands, you felt around the wall until you felt the switch. Letting out a relieved sigh, you flipped it, allowing the room to flood with light.

You looked up with a smile before remembering that your hands were still covered in whatever you had fallen into. Your gaze then fell down to your hands, only for the smile to be wiped away and your eyes to go wide.

Blood. Your palms were covered in blood.

Your stomach turns the urge to throw up very strong; dread then fills your veins as you slowly turn around. A high-pitched scream leaves your lips as your eyes are set upon the body of a man, blood pooling all around him.

Fear clouded your brain as you quickly turned back around to open the door. Rushing over to the wooden door, you wrapped your hands around the knob, hoping that it would turn. But it didn’t.

The door was locked, and you were trapped.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

375 notes · View notes

universalitgirlsblog2 · 4 months

Text

👛🖤SELF-CONCEPT👛🖤

CONTENTS OF THE POST

- MEANING OF SELF CONCEPT

- IS IT NECESSARY TO MANIFEST ?

- HOW TO IMPROVE IT ?

- SELF CONCEPT AFFIRMATIONS

- QUOTES ON SELF CONCEPT BY NEVILLE GODDARD

👛MEANING OF SELF CONCEPT

The way we perceive ourselves and the ideas we hold about our competencies and attributes is called self-concept. ( This definition is from my psychology textbook but it described self concept really well )

🖤IS IT NECESSARY TO MANIFEST ?

Self concept is not necessary when it comes to manifesting but it is very helpful and it does make manifesting more simple and easy.

👛HOW TO IMPROVE IT ?

💞Affirm !! Affirm and saturate your mind with those affirmations. The best way to reprogram your subconscious is through REPETITION. The more you repeat a thought / affirmation , the more dominant it will become.

👡Never underestimate the power of music. If you go on a spotify , just search self concept or confidence or that girl playlist & you will find so many songs which are filled with powerful and positive affirmations. Artists like Nicki Minaj , Le sserafim , Ariana Grande always include powerful affirmations in their songs. Listening to their songs enhanced my self concept.

💞Find a role model! Refer to my post on self concept icons , there are three parts in total . Click here - 1, 2 , 3. Suppose you want a self concept like Blair Waldorf , you can use her effect affirmations and a playlist dedicated to Blair and her vibes. Or maybe your self concept icon is Song Jia ? Then use affirmations based on her and listen to playlists dedicated to her. I have made affirmations for Jia too !! Your self concept icon can be anyone !!!! If you go on spotify and just search Blair , Regina, Song Jia or Thewizardliz etc you will find alot of playlists dedicated to them.

👡Create an alter ego and start acting like her . YOU ARE HER NOW !!! STOP IDENTIFYING WITH YOUR OLD SELF WHO HAD POOR SELFCONCEPT. THAT VERSION DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

💞Already assume that you have a perfect self concept . Don't give the old story any attention or don't waste your energy on your old self. Stop affirming how you have a " bad " self concept and need to work on it. Just assume that you have a perfect self concept already.

👡Mental diet can do wonders. Whenever you have a thought that doesn't align with your perfect self concept. Ask yourself , "Does this thought align with my perfect self concept?" . If the answer is no , then reject it. Become aware of your thoughts and only entertain productive and useful thoughts. Have a positive SELF TALK

💞Realize how powerful you are. You control your reality. You tell your reality/ 3D what to do. Your circumstances , 3D or reality doesn't control you, you control them. Your inner world creates the outer world. Stop victimizing yourself. You are the main character and director of your life. Start acting like it.

Self concept work is supposed to be easy and fun . Don't complicate it.

🖤SELF CONCEPT AFFIRMATIONS

I have a strong and empowering self concept .

I am the creator of my reality

I control how my life unfolds

Everything always works out to my advantage

Circumstances and things are always rigged in my favor

I deserve the best in every area of my life

I am the girl who has it all

I am the It girl of my reality

Nothing is impossible in my world

I am good at everything

I am a master manifestor

I am the best

I am loved and valued

I am wanted by everyone

I am the prize

The world is my oyster

I am successful at everything I do

I have Lucky girl/ boy syndrome

I am the universe’s favorite child, so all my needs and wants are always met, instantaneously

I am powerful beyond limits

I am fearless, unstoppable , invincible and antifragile

I am the one with all the health, wealth, and happiness in the world.

I have a perfect self concept

I can maintain a good mental diet easily.

I am aware of my thoughts

I only think useful and productive thoughts

I am completely in love with myself

I always get what I want

I don't chase , i attract

I am a priority , queen / king , and chosen.

👛QUOTES ON SELF CONCEPT BY NEVILLE GODDARD

"Your opinion of yourself is your most important viewpoint. You are infinitely greater than you think you are.”

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”

“Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.”

“To reach a higher level of being, you must assume a higher concept of yourself."

“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”

"Everything depends upon our attitude towards ourselves. That which we will not affirm as true of ourselves cannot develop in our life.”

"Our present mental conversations do not recede into the past, they advance into the future to confront us as wasted or invested words.”

"The individual’s inner speech and actions attract the conditions of his life.”

“Nothing is impossible to you.”

“Live your life in a sublime spirit of confidence and determination.”

“The world cannot change until you change your conception of it. 'As within so without'.”

"" The part you play on the world's stage is determined by your conception of yourself ."

475 notes · View notes

wombywoo · 28 days

Note

Hello!!

I wanted to ask if you would be willing to share how you go about finding the references for the injuries you depict in your work? Your pieces where the CoD boys are sporting injuries, fresh and old, are always so lifelike and to my untrained eye seem entirely medically correct.

I have been trying my hand at drawing the boys retired and resting as well, but I’m finding it difficult to decide what work injuries to add and how to find the respective references.

How do you decide what injuries to portray? And how do you go about finding the reference material?

Your huge fan, amustikas

Oooh ok ok! I'm gonna post my answer publically because I think others would find this interesting too!

To preface, I am definitely NOT a medical professional, and as such, a lot of the stuff I choose to depict in my art is not so much..ah, medically accurate as it is....aesthetically pleasing 🤭

I'll start with scars, as a lot of us enjoy slashing up Simon's face with them, lol. Generally, I'll do a cursory google image search for the type of scar I'm looking for (be warned, these can be graphic) with searches like 'burn scar' 'surgery scar' etc. But I find that for things like cuts and lacerations, real-life scars are a bit innocuous and lame 🤷‍♀️ Unfortunately not everyone's skin wants to retain that perfect slash look™️😔

So what I usually end up referencing are costume prosthetic scars ✨

As you can see, they're pretty gnarly:

And you definitely don't have to go this intense, but I find that the dramatic, carved-like appearance of these translate better to art than a realistically healed wound 🤙

The other thing to consider is the prevalence of injuries in the military. From what I've gathered, the most common will be back/shoulder/limb injuries, just a general fucking up of the whole musculoskeletal system in general due to constant overuse 🤕 Hearing loss, shrapnel/blast/burn injuries are also common, as well as all the negative psychological effects :') goooood times (not)

I think it's neat to look up real-life examples of these things, but it can get a bit intense if you're squeamish...

SafeSearch is OFF, the horrors are REal 😳

So yeah...I tend to tone things down, all things considered...😅

For this particular piece:

I researched broken humerus injuries and treatment 👍 Poor boy 🥺(Yes, I am aware that I consumed entire articles and did a shit ton of research about this just to go ahead and put a female's x-ray in this fucking picture sdfghjkl rip💀😭)

But here you can see the actual process for applying the brace for this particular injury:

Neat, eh?

When I draw Johnny with a knee brace, it's usually a real authentic one you can buy on amazon:

Product placement blast!!!💥✨ Bezos, where is my cut?? 🫰

As for ones like this:

I tend to just...scatter some wounds around and patch them up accordingly, lol. Bruising around the eyes is common with any head injury, and surgical stitching will offer a nice puckered skin effect mmm 👌 (I swear I'm normal abt this)

I'm sure the medical malpractice lawsuits are stacking up for me now, but again--it's usually more about the ✨visuals✨

My parting advice would be--go nuts! Feel free to maim and mutilate and mangle to your heart's content 🥰

Thank you for the question, Amustikas! I love your art as well 💗🫶

#asks #there's something...pleasing...about drawing wounds....#no I will not be reflecting on this 😤#tw injuries

321 notes · View notes

softservecanine · 3 months

Text

So How Do I Know if I’m Nonhuman?

Disclaimer: This post is largely targeted toward those who experience or are questioning nonhumanity in a non-physical way, such as therian, otherkin, and some nonhuman alter experiences, as that is the realm I have the most knowledge on. Please keep this in mind going forward.

I’ve been in the alterhuman/therian/nonhuman communities for *checks watch* eight years now, give or take. I’m very confident in my identity as a dog, and I live my life as a dog in a human body every day. I’m very open about it with people in my life. I’m just always like this.

I get asked a lot— in my DMs, in my asks, personally by people I know— how to know if you’re nonhuman.

Unfortunately I do not have an easy answer for that. Finding out you’re nonhuman, and being comfortable with that identity, is a long, confusing process for most. There are so many ways to experience nonhumanity, and a lot of people will tell you narrow definitions based on what their experience looks like.

My experience with finding out I was nonhuman is messy and long, and it took me several years to get as comfortable and as confident in my identity as I am. I know that’s not an answer people like to hear. I know how hard it is to just think “This will take time” and be cool with that.

So I think my biggest piece of advice would be: Don’t be afraid to experiment. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong.

There have been times where I’ve thought I was a wolf, a rabbit, a fox, a dragon, a husky, a bear, all kinds of things, before I finally figured out the right answer for me. I only have one theriotype. My theriotype is psychological and trauma-induced in nature. Yours might not be. You will very likely not experience nonhumanity in the exact same way as anyone else. That’s why it’s so confusing. That’s why it takes so long to understand your own journey.

Look dude. Get the gear you like. Do what makes you feel species euphoric. If you’re so worried about “faking” your nonhuman identity, chances are you’re not. Also? I personally wouldn’t care if someone who identified as nonhuman later retracted that identity, and I don’t know anyone who would care either.

If labeling yourself as some kind of nonhuman feels right to you right now, that’s okay. Your ‘types may change and grow overtime, you may feel more or less connected with them, that is all okay. Experience nonhumanity in a way that works for you right now. There’s not one way to know if you’re nonhuman. But I’d say if the community and the label is right for you, you’ll stay with it, and you’ll be more confident in it over time. And if it isn’t, that’s okay too.

#therian #otherkin #dog therian #alterhuman #therianthropy #dogkin #canine therian #nonhuman #nonhumanity #alterhumanity #otherkin community #therian community #alterbeing #nonhuman alter #nonhuman community

429 notes · View notes

smutstevington · 6 months

Text

Resensitized (part 3) | Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: You're dating your pornstar roommate. Everything is great! Well, except for the jealousy you're trying not to feel. (part one, part two)

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Pornstar!Eddie x fem reader (no use of y/n), pwp and lots of feelings, reader tries being a soft dom (and succeeds), she’s jealous but also kinda into it. mild degradation, unprotected p in v, oral male receiving, fem self-gratification, he really do be begging for her, once again Eddie is a simp, playful banter, things get super romantic because that's all I know how to write

A/N: GUYS I FINALLY WROTE IT! So many of you wanted part three, and I really hope it meets expectations. This one is a bit different than the others because reader tries something new. I tried to take all your suggestions into account! Anyway, I think I am going to end this series, but thank you so much to all who read and enjoyed ♥️

------------------------------

It had been one week since you and Eddie decided to start dating, and it was working fine. Actually, it was easier than any of your previous relationships. You were already best friends, and you were already living together, so it’s not like you got tired of each other or were surprised by much. You spent more time together now, setting nights aside for movies and sex and cooking dinner together and having sex and grabbing a drink and then having sex.

Yeah. You had sex a lot. The two of you were kind of crazy for each other, but it wasn’t like your relationship was only about sex, it just happened to be what you were doing a lot because you’d been doing all the other stuff already. You had a lot of sex to catch up on, and you took that seriously.

And when he wasn’t home….

Okay.

Was it fucked up that sometimes when you were alone in your room you watched your roommate’s porn videos to get off?

….Probably.

But did you care? Nope!

You tried not to think about the psychology behind it. It was probably something like a cuckolding thing, or whatever. It didn’t matter who he slept with on camera, because he slept with you off camera, and it was amazing.

But then one day you stumbled across a video of him with a woman who looked remarkably like you, and that was the first time you felt that dreadful sting of jealousy. And then after that, you found out he had made a video with her recently, and that’s when your envy got much worse.

Fuck.

You didn’t want to be jealous. You wanted to be the cool girl who was dating a porn star and didn’t feel weird about it, because you knew going into it that this was his job. You knew he was a porn star when you moved in and became best friends and you definitely knew when he offered to use his porn-star skills to blow your mind. And you knew when you went on a date, and when you had sex again, and when you agreed to keep dating. You knew it the whole time, and you told yourself over and over again that you could date him and not be jealous about how he was fucking other women at work during the day and coming home to you at night, but the truth was -

Okay, this woman looked just like you. That’s fucked up!

But you recognized that this was your issue, and you couldn’t possibly tell him this, because this was his career. He made good money from his work. If you told him you felt weird about it, you knew he’d feel at least a little pressured to re-evaluate his job or quit altogether, and you didn’t want to be that guy. But you also didn’t want to stop dating him, so…

It was time to quietly suffer just a little bit and hope he didn’t notice.

Besides, you’d be sitting at home feeling jealous or whatever while he was at work, and then you’d hear the front door open, and suddenly he’d be climbing on top of you and desperately reaching for any part of you to hold and squeeze and touch, and he was moaning and gasping into your mouth like he’d been suffocating and you were his only source of oxygen, and then it didn’t matter anymore if you were jealous, because you couldn’t think.

The first thing he wanted when he came home from work was you. How could you ever complain?

“Something fucked up happened at work today.”

Um. Not really what you’d wanted to hear when Eddie got home, but okay. It was supposed to be one of your date nights, but then he came home from work looking…forlorn? Distracted? Nervous? You couldn’t tell.

He didn’t say anything at first. He just went straight to his room, and then to the shower. He used showers as therapy, basically. That’s what you’d figured out over the course of your lease thus far. Anyway, one of the perks of dating a porn star was that, when your partner came home looking sad like that, your first thought wasn’t “oh God, he fucked someone else.” Cuz, ya know, duh. That came with the territory. You hadn’t really talked about what cheating would entail, or if your relationship was exclusive, but he wasn’t seeing anyone outside of work, and you weren’t seeing anyone outside of him.

He satisfied you more than enough, so…

There was, of course, the one thing that did worry you. You were still feeling that burn of jealousy in your stomach about that video of him with your look-a-like. You repressed the feeling as much as you could, but it was still there, and you couldn’t help but wonder if his mood was related.

“What happened?” you asked. He shrugged, and you noticed his wet hair was leaving spots on his old t-shirt.

“Well, it was -” he stopped himself, palming the back of his neck. “It was while I was - uhh, you know. With someone else.”

You swallowed. “I figured,” you said.

Okay, it was gonna come to this eventually. He’d never been explicit with you about his work, and that was fine. Obviously you weren’t completely in the dark, thanks to your secret night-time habit, but he never told you about what it was like to be with someone else. It wasn’t like you were offended, it just wasn’t something you needed to know. You weren’t sure how you’d feel if you did know, and now you realized you were about to find out.

“Is it weird for me to tell you about it?” he wondered.

You stared at him, and you were pretty sure your expression would have been funny if you were looking at yourself and not panicking on the inside.

“I’m not sure,” you responded. “Probably. Tell me anyway and let’s find out.”

There was a shared nervous smile between the two of you. You couldn’t wait for the tension to dissipate. You had to know what was making him act like this.

“Okay, so -” he began, pacing the living room floor and avoiding eye contact. In all the time you’d known him, he rarely avoided eye contact. It was actually incredibly intimidating how much he stared deeply into your eyes when he talked to you.

Aaaand incredibly hot when he did it while having sex with you. Anyway.

“I couldn’t get off,” he continued. “And I’ve told you that happens pretty often for me, but this was even worse than usual. Like, I was nowhere close. So, that was frustrating, and then I - I started thinking about the other night. I started thinking about…you.”

He stopped pacing, but his gaze remained on the floor. Your eyes widened.

Oh.

“Did it work?” you asked. Something in your voice must have tipped him off that you weren’t angry - and you weren’t - far from it, actually. His eyes lifted to meet yours, and the tension in the room shifted to that of a different kind.

“Like a fucking charm,” he replied.

Oh.

If someone had told you before you met Eddie that this kind of thing would have gotten you hot and bothered, you would have been confused. You still would have been confused as you were feeling it, but you were too turned on to even focus on the confusion.

It was bad enough that you sometimes enjoyed watching him with other women, and now you were wet at the thought of him fucking someone else and having to think about you to enjoy it?

Wait, no. Actually, you were pretty sure that the second part was objectively hot.

“Well, you were right. That is fucked up,” you said. For a moment, his face fell. His eyebrows scrunched together, and concern flooded his expression again. He walked toward you to take your hands in his, bringing them to his lips.

“I know,” he said, kissing down your wrist. “Fuck, I - I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry -”

“No, no,” you interrupted, sliding your hands from his grasp up to either side of his face. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t really understand what I’m feeling, but for whatever reason I’m very, very into this.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Seriously?” You nodded, hungry.

“Uh-huh.”

What you had was electric and powerful. It was like you were magnetically drawn to each other. Your lips quickly found his as your hands tangled in his wet hair, pulling it the way you knew he liked. You bit and nipped at him, resenting that you had to be gentle. You didn’t want to be gentle this time. You wanted nothing more than to ruin him.

Because you had ruined him, clearly. You’d ruined all other women for him. You both knew it.

You felt possessed by something so much bigger than the two of you. A deep, instinctual desire - an unstoppable desperation. You walked him backwards until you reached the couch in the living room, then pushed him until he was sitting down. He stared up at you, slack-jawed and panting, his swollen lips pink and shiny, his eyes dark and wide.

You slipped your shirt off over your head and let it fall to the floor. He reached for you, but you shook your head. You wanted to undress for him, this time. Your fingers slowly trailed down your exposed stomach and to the button of your jeans, working them undone. He watched your every methodical, deliberate, tantalizing move, and you could see the shape of his hard dick growing beneath the fabric of his pajama pants. He palmed himself as you slid your jeans down your legs and kicked them off. Next came your bra, and then your underwear.

You were standing fully naked in front of him, which would have been enough to drive him insane, but then you slowly got on your knees.

“Ohhhh, Sweetheart,” he drawled, his breathing getting more and more erratic. “What are you doing to me?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” you teased, tugging at his pants until they were past his hips. It took some squirming on his end, followed by giggles between the two of you, but then you were pushing his legs apart to get between them and leaning over to suck him off.

“Fuuuuck me,” he whined as your lips found his tip. His head fell back, his eyelids drooping.

“I will,” you replied, coy. “But I want to try something first.”

The first time you’d hooked up, he’d told you he’d always wanted to try degradation and being a bit more of a sub, but since then you’d only ever fed into the kind of stuff he did at work. He focused a lot on your pleasure - and he always enjoyed himself too, but still. You wanted this time to be different.

You wanted to own him.

“Anything,” he muttered. “Anything you want, it’s yours.”

He was taking to being submissive quite well, wasn’t he? And you were doing pretty well at the soft dom thing.

(You may or may not have done some research on the subject)

“I’m the only one that can make you come, right?” you asked as you teased his cock with gentle licks and kisses. He groaned and moaned at your touch, then nodded viciously. “Okay. This time, I don’t want you to come until I say you can. Deal?”

He nodded so fucking fast you worried he would get whiplash. It was kinda cute how red in the face he was. He looked as if he was going to burst.

And then he said something you didn’t expect.

“Am I - am I dreaming?”

You pulled away from him and sat back on your knees, looking up at his face and waiting for him to break and explain the joke, but he didn’t.

“What?”

“Am I - fuck, never mind,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t fucking care if I’m dreaming, just - just don’t stop, baby, please. I - I - don’t stop.”

God. His begging really did something to you. You smiled, and then your smile turned to a smirk as you decided to resume your work. The lust within you took over again, and suddenly you were climbing on top of him, straddling him, grinding against him until his eyes rolled back into his head.

It felt good for you too, of course, but that wasn’t what you were worried about.

Degradation. That was the word he used when talking about what he was interested in. You also knew that sometimes, fantasies didn’t feel the way you thought they would when they actually played out. You were slightly worried about this next part, but figured it was worth a shot -

“All those women and I’m the only one that can get you off,” you said as you continued rocking your hips against his erection. “You’re not even inside me and you’re a fucking mess.”

His mouth was open in a silent scream, his eyes fixed to the ceiling.

“Please fuck me,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “Please, please fuck me.”

You’d gotten tested for STI’s the day after you and Eddie agreed to keep dating, and everything came back clean. He was routinely tested as well, so…no need for condoms, really. Especially with you on birth control. The main reason you still sometimes used them was for easier cleanup, but considering how often you two had sex, it was far more convenient to go without and suffer the consequences as they came (pun intended).

You lifted yourself high enough to line him up with your entrance, then slowly sank back down. Immediately, he was melting beneath you, which only made you wetter for him. You slid him into you until he bottomed out, then stilled.

“Remember,” you whispered against his lips. “Don’t come until I say so. I wanna come first.” Immediately, his hand dove between the two of you as his fingers went to find your clit, but you grabbed him by the wrist. “No, I want to do it myself.”

And so, Eddie watched you. He watched as you touched yourself while bouncing up and down in a steady rhythm, progressively getting faster and deeper until you were clenching around him. It took everything in him not to grab you and fuck into you harder and faster. Never in his life had he tried so hard not to come, and that’s why this was all so pleasurable.

When your moans sounded just the way he liked them to and he felt you get warmer and wetter around him, he nearly lost it. He almost spilled into you, but managed to hold off by digging his nails into the meat of his thighs.

For your second orgasm, you let him use his fingers while you rode him, telling him exactly what to do. And after you’d settled, and your mind centered back in your body, you realized you’d put him through enough.

“Okay,” you exhaled. “I got mine.”

Eddie was so completely fucked out. He looked like you probably should have, but you still felt in control. It was a nice contrast to all the other times he’d had you screaming and whimpering his name. He didn’t even react - he seemed to have no idea what to do next.

“Aww,” you said, running your hands through his hair. “Did I fuck the thoughts out of that pretty head of yours? Come on, I know you know what to do next.”

“You want me to -?” he began. His voice was weak and hesitant. “You want me to fu - I mean, now?” Instead of answering, you slid off his lap and got on all fours beside him.

He was fucking you within probably about three seconds.

He grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, thrusting into you over and over again, faster and harder and causing all kinds of noises to echo in the room. The sounds of skin and desire, all culminating into something that sent you spiraling into orbit.

You almost didn’t notice when he spoke again.

“Tell me to come,” he pleaded. “Tell me I can come now.”

You were well past the point of teasing him, so instead you gave in.

“Do it,” you permitted. “Come inside me.”

So, he did. He filled you and continued fucking you until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up so your back was against his chest, then left desperate kisses on your cheek, neck, and shoulder - wherever his lips would reach. You felt his heavy breathing, the rise and fall of his ribs, the warmth of his skin. He wished the feeling would never end - he wished he could spend eternity doing just this, and then he wished he had several other eternities to spend doing nothing with you. He loved every moment. He was so far fucking gone into loving you. Perfect, beautiful, intoxicating, you.

There was a box of tissues on the coffee table, which ended up being a lifesaver in terms of cleanup. Of course, the two of you had to work together to reach over and get the box without toppling over. Then, you both wandered silently to your room, knowing that you’d be far more comfortable cuddling on a bed.

He held you so close to him it almost felt more intimate than sex.

“That was -” he began, his tone calm and warm. “That was the first time I’ve done that.” You giggled, angling your neck to kiss him quickly before returning to lay your head back on his chest.

“Was it as good as you hoped it would be?” you asked.

“I still can’t really think straight, so yeah,” he replied. You laughed again. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

You bit your lip, the anxiety returning just a little bit.

“There’s a lot of great info out there on the internet,” you responded. He chuckled, then kissed the top of your head.

“I know, I’m involved in a lot of it,” he said. And then he said something else, and your heart stopped. “You know, when you said - ‘Did I fuck the thoughts out of that pretty head of yours?’ - I was thinking about how that question was kind of familiar.”

You were so glad your ear was to his chest and it wasn’t the other way around, because he absolutely would have been able to hear your pulse rising.

“It’s a common thing for people to say when they’re doing the degradation thing,” you quickly replied, hoping he’d drop it but knowing he wouldn’t.

“Oh, I know,” he continued. You could hear a smirk in his voice. “I’ve used that line a lot.”

Now your heart was beating so fast, you wondered if he could feel it pounding in your chest somehow. You sat up, noticing the way he was looking at you as if he was saying - Gotcha.

“It wasn’t -” you sputtered. You weren’t sure why you were even attempting to keep this from him anymore. “It’s not like you came up with it, Eddie. It’s - that’s - it wasn’t -”

“Baby,” he said with a light laugh. “I’m just teasing you. But, your reaction is veeeeeery suspicious.”

You were blushing so hard it burned your cheeks. Meanwhile, he was completely amused by the whole situation.

“Okay, so I’ve watched more of your videos!” you confessed, probably too loudly. And then, the words kept flowing before you could stop them. “Sue me! My boyfriend is fucking other women and sometimes I get curious, and sometimes I think it’s hot - although, to be fair, I only focus on you, obviously. Except for when you’re paired with the woman who’s basically my twin, and then I just get - ugh, whatever. It’s not a big deal.”

He was grinning, practically giddy, and it drove you crazy.

“Boyfriend?” he asked, chuffed. You rolled your eyes.

“Shut up, you’re obviously my boyfriend,” you shot back immediately. “Is that seriously all you got from my whole confession?”

“What do you think I am, your priest?” he teased. He put his arm around you to pull you back into him. “Don’t get any ideas, by the way. No way I’d ever do religion roleplay. That’s off limits, even for you.”

You had to admit - the phrase even for you gave you butterflies.

“You’re not into the whole, ‘forgive me, father, for I’ve been a bad bad girl’ kind of thing?” you asked, allowing yourself to tease him back. He chuckled, running his fingers through your hair.

“Ah, so you do watch porn that’s not me,” he replied. You couldn’t help but smile at his joke, but you playfully smacked him on the arm in retaliation.

“Of course I do,” you answered. “Not that kind though, don’t worry.”

“Hey, I don’t kinkshame,” he said, putting his hands in the air. “But that’s one you’d have to go find with someone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” you said back. Your words were decisive and stern. “Come on, let’s just be honest. I like you. I want to be with you. And I really try not to get jealous, and I don’t want to be jealous, but sometimes I am. Because I want to be the one for you. Like, that’s why I jumped you today. I know it’s your job, and I don’t want you to change your life for me. But yeah, I get jealous sometimes. And, like, this is less serious, but I wanna be able to bite you and not think about whether or not I’m leaving marks for someone else to see. For your partners or thousands of viewers to see. I just - I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.”

Eddie’s hands returned to your hair. He sighed, but it wasn’t a sigh of disappointment or anger - it was something else.

“You wanna mark me up, huh?” he responded. “Tell me more about that.”

You hated it when he got evasive like this. Lately it had been happening more and more.

“Oh my God,” you groaned. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been holding back, you know. I’m a biter.” Eddie’s eyes lit up.

“You’re reeeeeally fucking with my refractory period, baby,” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“Eddie, focus,” you told him. “This is serious.”

His last wall came down. You could practically see it happen.

“I know,” he said at last. “I know it’s serious, and - and I don’t want to be with anyone else either. Like, I’ve been really struggling with work and thinking about how I can get past it, but I can’t. And then they paired me with someone who - yeah, it’s freaky how much she looks like you, I agree - but I promise it was just weird for me, because she wasn’t you. No one is you. I don’t want to be with aaaaanybody else, honest to God. I just - I love you, okay? I’m in love with you.”

Of all the things he could have said - of all the things you wished for - all the things you hoped he’d say - this was better than all of them. This was - this was everything.

“You’re in love with me?” you echoed, your voice small and quiet.

“Afraid so,” he replied with a slight smile. “Genuinely, it’s terrifying. I’ve never - Sweetheart, you’re it for me. You gotta know that.”

For a minute, you didn’t know how to respond. You wondered how long he’d loved you - how long he’d known that you were what he wanted. You thought about yourself, and how your feelings for him were clearly there, but love? You hadn’t considered being in love with him, and yet the moment he told you he loved you, it was as if all the puzzle pieces came together.

“I love you too,” you told him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You continued cuddling and talking after that as you discussed what you were going to do next. More specifically, what he was going to do next. He’d have to take a pay cut and switch to solo stuff, but he had enough saved up to get by. There was also the option of you joining him for a video, but that was a question for another day.

You had time to think about it. In fact, it was possible you had your whole life.

________________________

@welc0me-t0-hellf1re @nope-thanks @names-were-taken @teary-eyed-egg @mvnsonluver @msgexymunson @micheledawn1975 @mimsthebannished @joantje @mrsjellymunson @oh-my-grace @libbyhermione @agrownupgeekgirl @vintagehellfire @spikedhe4rt @stardustingold @bebe07011 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @tlclick73 @astridflowers @whisteriaremembers @martaboj92 @the-side-blog777 @demeterlindavis @starheartseddie @aysheashea @ima1986 @hideoutside @spicedandicedtea @wheezyhyperfixates @jesssssmaybankk @dulciscreatura @maximus2354 @maxstecc @bmunson86 @strangerfan3691 @alana4610 @callsignraver @roanniom @thecomfortgoth @ali-r3n @alaskasbarfjournal @whothefckissofia @youwantagoodbhloe @eddieslooneymoonie @thirstypastelnacht @ungracefularchimedes @silky-luxe @aurora-austen @ysmmsy @emma77645 @bl4ckt00thgr1n @starryeyedpoet17 @buckymydarlingangel @kellyxo1 @cryingglightningg

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #resensitized

467 notes · View notes

why-animals-do-the-thing · 2 years

Note

Do you know why dogs do that little exhausted sigh when they lie down even when they haven't really done anything that particular day?

I, too, make exhausted little sighs when I flop down and am suddenly extremely comfy!

But, okay, here's what super interesting. I didn't want to just give you a flippant answer, so I started looking up if sighing is a behavior in other species than humans. Because it's always worth keeping an eye out for accidental anthropomorphism. Turns out? The science on sighing is fascinating. Stay tuned for intense nerding out, and maybe a bit more of an answer.

First off, we gotta know what a sigh is.

"The sigh is a deep augmented breath with distinct neurobiological, physiological, and psychological properties that distinguish it from a normal eupneic breath. Sighs are typically triggered by a normal eupneic breath and are followed by a respiratory pause, which is referred to as 'postsigh apnea.'"

In non-jargon, that definition means sighs are a deep breath with a different pattern to it than normal, easy, regular breathing. "Augmented breaths" are frequently used as a synonym for "sighs", and the best definition I found is that "they comprise prolonged inspiration and increased tidal volume followed by a respiratory pause and several seconds of faster breathing. So a longer than normal inhale where you take in more air than normal, then an exhale, and then pause before breathing in again. Oh hey, look, I found a graph!

The graph is super well labeled, but just to be clear: each cycle of the red line is a normal breath, where what's being tracked is the movement of the chest wall. The part where the vertical blue bar is, that's the cycle with a sigh. The red line spikes really high (during inspiration, or breathing in) at that blue patch, and for longer than the normal period of a breath. See how it's almost like two inhales on top of each other - a normal slope and then another upward spike? That's the "augmentation" of the normal breath, almost a double inhale without breathing out in-between. Then, after the red line drops (on the exhale) there's a flat bit. That's the respiratory pause, which the period after the sigh where you wait before you inhale again.

Apparently people have been tracking sighing scientific for like, over 100 years. The first record of it in academic literature was in 1919. And we know some really cool stuff. All humans sigh spontaneously. Even babies sigh! They do it every few minutes, whereas it's less frequent but still pretty regular in adults: one study found about once every five minutes, or twelve sighs an hour.

Okay, but why do we sigh? We only sort of know, because there's a bunch of different things that have to be studied to answer that question. The direct physiological aspect of it is the most well known at this point. You've got lots of little sacs lining your lungs, called alveoli, that facilitate gas transfer from the air you breathe into your blood. They make sure oxygen goes in and carbon dioxide gets breathed out. But sometimes they collapse and deflate, which prevents them from doing their job. When you do a big sigh, the air quantity in your lungs ends up being double that of normal, which inflates them again. So sighing is a way of doing lung maintenance, in a sense.

But there's so much more going on when you sigh than just that! This is the stuff researchers are still working on. They've got some pretty solid conclusions to start, but they're very emphatic that there's a ton more to learn.

Basically, the main hypothesis right now is that sighing functions as a "reset" for your internal state when it's out of balance. People sigh more when they're acutely anxious or stressed, are anticipating a negative outcome like a shock or seeing a negative image, or have chronic anxiety, PTSD, or panic disorders. Higher sigh frequency is also associated with pain: people with chronic low back pain sigh more, and how much they do correlates with how high their pain rating is at the time!

Another aspect of sighing is that it's frequently associated with periods of relief. Studies have noted that people sigh when they're able to relax following tension, like if they're interrupted while trying to do something really mentally taxing, when they finish a task that took a lot of attention for a long time, or if a negative stimulus stops/goes away. The reason behind that is actually thought to be why people sigh so much when they're upset or in pain: sighing doesn't just signal relief, but actually cause it! Some studies have found that people experience a temporary reduction in muscle tension right after a spontaneous sigh. (Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to also happen when you sigh on purpose.)

Sighing is also thought to facilitate behavioral and emotional transitions. The frequency at which someone sighs changes even just when they transition from sitting to lying down. People frequently sigh right before they fall asleep or start to wake up. One study found that people sigh more frequently when they go from a situation of being unable to anticipate what's next to a situation where they know what the outcome will be - regardless of if that outcome is going to be negative or positive! That led the researchers to hypothesize that sighing functions as an emotional reset from states of high internal arousal (a word which here means "the state of feeling awake, activated, and highly reactive to stimuli.") So sighing might not just bring relief when something really intense ends, but it might also help people prepare for upcoming stress.

Basically, researchers think that sighing may contribute to what they call "psychophysiological flexibility." That means that sighing helps keep someone in a physiological and emotional state that matches the situation they're in, and helps the body and mind adapt quickly when something changes. They noted that these types of transitions may involve "anticipatory, activation or recovery responses." In other words: they think spontaneous sighing is relevant not only when you're worried about encountering a leopard in the bush, but when you have to hide from the leopard you tripped over, and then also when you're calming down after the leopard got bored and left.

There's a whole bunch of research left to do about how exactly spontaneous sighs do what they do, but there's also a whole other aspect of the behavior that hasn't really been studied yet: their social function! In humans audible sighing is a salient social signal. (The researchers said the part of the paper addressing this that it is a "lay belief" that sighs have a "communicative function to convey emotions," which makes the whole thing feel like it was written by aliens observing humans from afar). But they did note that sighs for social communications may be totally different from other types of sighs, since the exhalation is often very exaggerated and doesn't always occur in tandem with that "augmented" inhale pattern that spontaneous sighs have.

Okay. So. I've been a nerd forever, but what about doggo sighs? Why do they occur? Obviously, the research doesn't give us a direct answer. The majority of the behavioral / situational research on sighing has been done on people, not animals. But it's pretty well documented lots of animals sigh (it might even be all mammals, I just don't have a citation for that). And some of the studies that have been done on animals indicated that they, too, sigh in relief when negative situations end or unpleasant stimuli go away.

Let's go back to my joke at the beginning of this book I've written. My first instinct was to be like "who doesn't sigh in relaxation when they finally get a chance to rest their bones?" That totally matches what's in the research: getting a chance to rest after activity is often both a behavioral transition and an emotional one, and if there's any physical discomfort being experienced, physical rest is often is a relief.

It seems fairly probable that dogs sigh when they lay down for at least one of those reasons. I can't prove that hypothesis, but it tracks with what the science says so far. The situation you described meets the main identified criteria for sighing: there's the physical transition of laying down, the behavioral/emotional transition of being ready for a period of low/no activity, and the possible relief of pain or discomfort that comes with laying down. We don't have any any evidence (that I was able to find) of species that sigh for other reasons, or sigh in situations that don't meet those criteria. We don't know for sure that this is accurate - this isn't fact, simply my educated guess. But since sighing seems to help muscles relax and relief discomfort, it seems reasonable to me that a good old sigh after the relief of laying down would make the transition to a resting state feel even better.

Sources:

Effects of the hippocampus on the motor expression of augmented breaths

Brainstem activity, apnea, and death during seizures induced by intrahippocampal kainic acid in anaesthetized rats

The Integrative Role of the Sigh in Psychology, Physiology, Pathology, and Neurobiology

Sigh rate during emotional transitions: More evidence for a sigh of relief

The psychophysiology of the sigh: I: The sigh from the physiological perspective

The psychophysiology of the sigh: II: The sigh from the psychological perspective

Affect Arousal

UCLA and Stanford researchers pinpoint origin of sighing reflex in the brain

#science!#dog behavior #sighing #sighs #I want to emphasize this is a hypothesis based on the existing body of research and that I am not an expert in this field #there are times where it is reasonable to look at the existing literature and create theories based on a synthesis of their findings #but this is not something to repeat as known fact #and that differentiation is extremely important in this sort of forum

3K notes · View notes