#I barely know how to relax

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

a coworker recently complimented me by saying I’m calm under pressure, which

a) thanks, but also b) lol. lmao, even

#no this isn't an ADHD thing #this is a 'you have no idea what the inside of my head is like' thing #it's a 'thanks that's the anxiety and maybe trauma' thing #my boss has described me--more than once--as 'zen' #which is....... #I probably don't need to explain why that's funny #yeah I'm so zen I have constant headaches and neck pain and also digestive problems #I barely know how to relax #I can't sleep #I'm on 5 different brain meds #I haven't seen a therapist in months because I have some serious frustrations with mine BUT I keep second-guessing myself about them #AND finding a new one is overwhelming #hell I don't really do much of anything because it's all overwhelming #I try to be polite and diplomatic because I'm actually still a little kid who's terrified of being yelled at #only this time with worse consequences #reading the news fills me with helpless rage #I actually think my mental health is getting worse and not better #but yeah sure I'm zen

[levmada]

levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretchmarks levi with stretc

#POST WAR HES RELAXING FOR ONCE IN GIS LIFE #gabi and falco get it into their heads to give levi a sweet tooth cuz he likes giving out sweets to the refugees #AND LIKE HE LEARNS TO COOK #BUT THE POINT IS HE DOESNT HAVE TO FIGHT ANYMORE AND HE #his muscles soften and his thighs get just a little thicker AND HES SO SOFT #he’s a little bit insecure about it as someone who hasn’t known having an ounce of fat in his life #AND #he develops these purplish-tan lightning bolt like ripples under his arms and thighs and below his navel #AND HES INSECURE #BUT BUT JUST TRACING THEM EITH YOUR FINGERS AND GIVING YHEM KISSES AND SAYING HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS #he gets all snippy and looks away #but he CANT keep up the attitude when you’re in bed between his legs and tracing them w your tongue #he can barely watch but he doesn’t know if he’s emotional aroused or embarrassed #!!!!!!!!! #levi x reader #i’ve written smth like this before what am i yapping abt #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman hc #levi ackerman fluff #levi.thoughts

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[daz4i]

the human brain is so good at keeping up a decent mood for a whole day and then arriving back home in the evening ready to kys

#i'm. tired and in pain. and angry. bc things aren't working out. and i'm stressed abt 700 things at once #and i can't calm down i don't know how to relax even with actual chemical aid. i hate it here #guys i wanna disappear so bad. i don't. want responsibilities. i don't want to start new routines. i don't wanna be active and social. #i'm too tired for that my body can't even keep up with the bare minimum. i need to die

[dovelives]

*slaps own body* this little thing can fit so much trauma in it

#neurodivergent #actually audhd #actually autistic #i can’t take naps in the daylight #and I still don’t know how people do it #you mean to tell me you can relax enough during the day where you can just fall asleep???? #the only time I can sleep during the day is when I’m sick lol #I can barely fall asleep at night lmao #anyways #trauma #ig idk how to tag this #we’re all mentally I’ll and traumatised whooo #im funny #pls laugh

[kingdomoftyto]

October this year has felt kind of vague and adrift for me, no real festive spirit to speak of--or at least nowhere near how last year felt, when it was Year of the Vampire and all.

BUT I am remedying that now with a combined pincer attack of 1) relistening to Night Vale from the beginning on my commute to work and 2) rereading Warm Bodies on my breaks/in my spare time. Things are getting increasingly spooky up in here

#consider this a heartfelt rec for both of the series mentioned #for anyone who might not know: Welcome to Night Vale is a fiction podcast in the form of a community radio show #the host of the show gives news and commentary on the happenings in a small desert town #... a small town that's regularly besieged by cosmic horrors and shadowy government agencies and various other monsters and phenomena #it's extremely chill and relaxing! which is funny to say because it sounds like a joke but it's actually true. #the residents of the town are used to all of this strangeness so it's described in the same tone as the results of the schoolboard election #seriously even ten years later this podcast has me giggling like a maniac every few minutes #it's very funny and heartfelt despite ostensibly being horror themed #and as for the other series--Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion is SUUUUCH an underrated book series #the tl;dr is it's a zombie-human love story #there was a movie based on the first book several years back and it was pretty good imo #it plays up the romcom aspect a lot. which is fair but not EXACTLY accurate to the book. as you might imagine lol #the actual book though??? god I'm only two chapters in on my re-read and I had underestimated how much I love the way this protag thinks #it is HEAVY on philosophical discussion and even digs into some societal/political issues later on #and the supernatural/sci-fi worldbuilding is so incredible that tbh I can barely take any other type of zombies seriously after reading thi #it's just. it's good. check it out if you're not afraid of a little gore in your star-crossed romance #(I'd say more but I don't want to spoil the end of the first book! it's a fairly predictable twist but it still feels so good)

[jinkis]

i hate everything

#about to go on a rant cause i'm ✨ stressed ✨ #i'm currently at the very end of my masters degree so i can be a fully qualified secondary teacher #however due to the teacher shortage i have been allowed to start working as a full time teacher and have been doing so for the last year #i love my job i love the kids i love the staff members #what i dont love is having to finish off my masters degree when i've been working in the profession for a year #i have learnt more being in the classroom for a year than my whole 7 years at uni doing my undergrad and masters #i am TIRED of having to waste my time and come up with bullshit assessments just so i can get this stupid degree #schools are on winter holidays at the moment and i am meant to be relaxing or prepping for the term ahead #but no ... i've been stuck in my room for the past week doing uni assessments to prove that i know how to implement teaching strategies #and showcase how to write a lesson plan EVEN THOUGH NO TEACHER EVER WRITES ONE WHILE WORKING??????????? #i just feel really bad for the kids cause i spend all my free time doing my uni shit or sleeping cause im so drained #i never have enough time to organise things for my lessons or come up with fun learning activities #usually i just do the bare minimum and pray for a pass #but this assessment just has a satisfactory/unsatisfactory mark so i cant just half ass this shit #also can yall believe that im only half way through this assessment?????????? #i still have so much more to do ughhhh #anyway if you read all that im sorry and thank you #marie.txt

[1980ssunflower]

i desperately need ryan kisses rn :-c

#tape entry circa 1980 #f/o:💖what a fool believes🎸 #i miss him soo so so much and my dream last night teased me by showing cute little drawings of ryan on the covers of random movies/games #i need him to hold me in his arms rn tbh he loves to hold me and i need to be comforted rn #i just feel so fucked up rn ngl and i barely ate anything yesterday and havent eaten today yet #god. i tried to draw me and ryan being in love and cute but i just. hate how i draw #i just think everything outside of my fake screenshots fucking suck #i just dont feel like i have a style. #and i just love ryan so so much and want to make something for him for our love but i just cant :-c #i just feel so fucking worthless rn ngl i feel like im such a fuckup in everything #i even feel like a disappointment to my husbands... #ik they would hate that im thinking like that. but i cant help it #i just wish they were here to tell me otherwise... and make me feel loved #particularly i want ryan rn i just know i could relax in his warm arms as he says dumb little things to make me laugh #sighhh... i miss him... him and min...

[orcelito]

of all things, seeing goro and sumi interact makes me wanna work on the next ladue chapter more than anything else the past like 2 weeks

Wild

#speculation nation #brain is just 'vashwood vashwood vashwood vashwood vashwood' etc etc etc #endless reading of trigun fanfic. no time for my own writing endeavors #but. im so close to finishing chapter 3 of ladue... so close... i just need to get back into it #... not rn tho. or the next few days probs. not a good time. #honestly tho it's making me remember how good writing is for my health overall #bc when i want to write i Have to take care of my health. get proper sleep & eat regularly & dont drink alcohol #bc i have to be in tip top condition to have writing brain. it keeps me in line. #the past week and a half has just been me Relentlessly pursuing my current hyperfixations #to the point of neglecting my health. case and point: me getting 3 hours of sleep for NO fucking reason (aside from trigun focus) #writing brain hasnt mattered so ive only been eating one or two meals a day. and ive been drinking a bit more often #though that also might be bc of my mental state 🤔 still no more than 2 drinks at a time #but ive gone from drinking Maybe once a month to like once a week. if not more often. #idk. it's meant as a relaxing kinda thing. god knows i need the stress relief. but it's still not great for me. #i still havent done my dishes and my fingernails r too long but i have no energy to trim them #aka. the experience of being actively in the throes of a hyperfixation is both Wonderful and terrible. my body is falling apart! #and this is with TWO!!!!! hyperfixations. trigun is definitely the more powerful but the fe:engage is there too #im. gonna go to bed early tonight. i have therapy in the morning :P #aka this is my 'i am alive' post but like only barely lmfao. ugh im so fucked with this lab.

[kinkymagnus]

i also just think..... comfort sex? good.

#warm..... soft........ loving.... #like yes we are together and safe and you are here with me and i am in your arms #and no one can hurt me and no one can hurt you and we're safe and together again #kiss me love i dont ever want to forget what you feel like #like. being held and just. slow but desperate sex grinding in deep #just like. hips rolling in tight little circles to barely even pull out like alec cant bear to part from him for long like he just wants to #stay inside him forever and pressed close and feeling how magnus trembles under him and clenches around him #hearing the pretty noises he makes #and magnus is just as bad like he wants to stay like this forever full and under alec and with his arms around him clinging to him almost #almost desperately #kissing almost tearfully but they're smiling #alec probably has that stamina rune working overtime bc even when magnus comes when *he* comes he doesn't want to pull out he just wants to #stay in this moment forever #and like. it IS comforting #it is comforting and relaxing and intimate #his touch is reassuring his kisses are comforting his hands are loving andw arm #it's all so safe and good and everything's okay now my love im in your arms youre in mine #you know???? YOU KNOIW???????? #trans magnus smut #ig

[sxcret-garden-archive]

,

#really sorry the comfort drabbles are taking so long... #i'm kinda not in the best place mentally and don't know how to get out of that atm so that's why i have no motivation to do anything #everything feels.... pointless #and hard.... way too hard #i can't relax around people and it's even worse since moving back from the dorms cause now not even home feels like a place where i can #let go anymore #i don't reallt have anything to do atm either cause i'm done with uni and won't get a job for now cause i wanna apply for studying abroad #(i've talked about that tho) #and also i cannot handle a job atm #i feel like i can't handle anything atm but i feel so guilty for doing nothing that i can't rest #i feel constantly agitated and can't calm down and i need a safe space so badly but idk where that would be #i thought as soon as i was done with exams i could finally focus on writing #but i have such bad writer's block rn that i can barely relax enough to write #and that feels pointless too tbh... #whatever

[dragonlordofmiddleearth]

I really tried to give rings of power a fair shot but y'all wtf was this week's episode

#rings of power critical #not putting it in the main tag bc i know some ppl are still enjoying it #not entirely sure how bc imo the writing is so incredibly flat #the battle was so boring! and it took up the entire episode! #i felt nary a worry or a fear about who would live or die bc the characters are eithef flat or annoying #and suddenly a bunch of characters have like jumped forward in their arc? #but not in like an organic way. just from a to b to z with no other letters in between #like what do you mean halbrand is gonna be king now. he hated that shit 2 eps ago #theo was fully racist against elves but now galadriel is hot hes over that i guess #elendil and isildur having a father-son moment like theyve developed that relationship at all since last episode #where are the hobbits. theyre the only redeeming feature of the show bc they feel like whimsical 80s fantasy #but they got shunted out for 70 minutes of a battle that had no tension whatsoever #oh wait adar is also a redeeming feature bc i do want to know whats going on with him. like whats his deal #but back to the battle. browyn's whole wounded situation. wtf was up with that #it was so slow and laughably relaxed #like shes just chilling there on the table with an arrow fully through her chest #and arondir and theo are like 'uh i guess we better slowly try and stop the bleeding' #shes talking like normal. barely out of breath. woman you have an arrow through your lung!! #also im sure she was blasted with 2 arrows what happened to the second where did it go #ill shut up now even though im sure ill think of another thing that bothered me in like 2 seconds #feel bad for the actors though bc theyve been getting shit for the wrong reasons #its not bad bc black characters exist its bad bc the writers dont give a shit #theyre acting their little hearts out on these mediocre at best lines #okay shutting up for real now

[pizzapizzadickz]

Hehe! I've had a really good birthday!!!

oh yeah. I need to update my profile!

#diary #personal #i had fun reading and relaxing. ive gotten a lot done lately and have been feeling well thanks to the help of coffee #...honestly i think thats my new miricle drug. #but yknow i feel super okay/good! idk. ive been having a lot of trouble lately but im just really happy today. #idk. i just love who i am i suppose? even with sensory issues pain and everything else going on i suppose. #idk. im excited to try and figure out what to do about it all tbh. havent felt like this for a while #im.still tired. and i really need help. but that coffee has been giving me enough energy to actual DO things #i havent been able to fold my laundry for months #barely able to even put in in the was tbh. #its been really rough. #really really rough. idk. i dont really share that part of things super often. being just exhausted and tired all the time #like. ive just had no energy to do anything. and if i force myself to it typically ends in a breakdown or something... #and if not im terrified ill push myself too far and cause one. haah. its very troublesome. #but. idk. its not something i really share bc i dont know how to explain or how others will.understand #unless its something youve experienced its not relatable. #its not really depression. its just. knowing your just one step away from being unable to do anything at all #and ive been teetering on that more and more lately. haah. this is why i was worried about working. #but. nothing wouldve changed even if i hadnt started. even on my best days ive always been one step away. #and to be honest its terrfying. im.scared in a way of living like this. #i love to learn. i have so much ambition. but it holds me back a lot. #to be honest ive been wondering if i need to get diagnosed with shit and go on disability #...but then i have days like this and its hard. because i know i cannot advocate for myself #haaah. how do you find all the resources for shit. translate your chinese to greek for everyone. and the energy to live? #you dont. thats why ive given up so so so many times before. but idk. i guess ive finally figured out that you can just pay someone #and idk. maybe im too hopeful in thinking that someone can organize my life for me until.i can? #this isnt even a joke. i wish it was. its terribly sad to be honest #i cant ask for help from my parents. and as much as i love my friend they have their own lives to live. #and honestly it really feels impossible to explain the depths of things like this to people sometimes. #thats sorta why i dont spend my money often unless i deem it nessisary. i dont know when i can earn more... haah. oh well.

[lxnarphase]

g. satoru who is a massive pervert and always wants to inspect your pussy after a day out with him, knowing his little touches and teasing whispers had you dripping, soaking those cute lacy panties. his long, slender fingers dipping just his fingertips in, clicking his tongue when he realizes just how drenched you are.

"she's soaked, baby...listen t' her, you get this wet for me?"

the way he talks about your pussy makes your mind so hazy, eyes fluttering as he teases the entrance, the slow in-and-out motions coaxing more and more slick from your hole. "ohh, you're dripping so much," satoru coos into your ear, a pout on his face.

"can i put them in, baby? can i put my fingers inside you?"

he barely waits for you to nod before they slip in, and you both moan. you're so tight, so hot, so messy inside, and he can feel how you squeeze and clench around his fingers, trying to egg him on to move.

"oh...fuuuck," he moans, seeing that the simple move has thick cream dripping around his fingers, the milky liquid making his cock throb in his pants at the thought of being buried deep inside you, that cream dripping down his balls as he fucks up into you.

"she's so messy, so sticky, such a sticky little pussy," he mutters, fingers suddenly picking up a deep, fast rhythm. not even your hand grabbing his wrist to get him to slow down can stop him. he wants to hear those wet noises you're making, hear how sloppy and sweet he's getting that puffy cunt.

"sticky an' creamy cunt doesn' want me to take away my fingers? hm? ohh, but babyyy, don' you wan't 'toru's fat cock in you? mhm? mhmm?"

he's so fucking perverted with his words, it's making tears drip down your face with how good it makes you feel, how it sends pangs of pleasure and need up your spine. you try to tell him to shut up, but he just curls his fingers up, pressing against that spot that makes slick spurt out of your cunt.

"oh, she's squirtin' all over me, look at how that made you gush! didn't even cum, but you're squirting, so cute, dumpling! c'mon, c'mon, fuck my hand, fuck your hips up into my hand s' i can kiss that cervix with my dick before i cum in you, babyyy...get yourself nice 'n' relaxed for your satoru."

#gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x you #𖤐 ── lxnarblabs. #i need satoru so badly it's actually unfair #💎 ── satoru.

[sukunas-wife]

Baby Yuji who clings and cries to you when your helpers try to take him away because someone with such a high reputation to hold shouldn’t be seen with a babe latched onto their breast

His little cries that make your heart ache outside his nursery door. Barging in and picking up your baby boo and cooing at him as he instantly stops crying his little fish taking a death tight grip to your shirt asking for you never let him go.

Baby Yuji who gets mushed instantly as your enter your private chambers because Sukuna was ready for a second child only to be stopped when he heard his sons muffled cries against his own bare chest.

Sukuna who sighs carrying his baby boy using his reverse cursed technique to heal him of any squish damage. Cradling him against his chest in he massive arms. Squeezing his yawning sons cheeks between his hand just for his son to take a tight hold on his finger. The way Sukuna laughs proudly at how his son was so strong for someone so small

The smug look when you try to take Yuji away from Sukuna only for Yuji to cry and cling to his daddy

Your little pout as Baby Yuji sleeps on his daddy’s chest secured by his arms and you held against your husbands side with his free arm

Toddler Yuji who’s first word isn’t mama or papa but “koo… kooo kooOUuna…” you look confused turning to your husband with a raised brow “whose Kouna?” “It’s KUNA woman! As in SuKUNA,” he crossed his arms against his chest smug smirk, “We can see who the preferred is.” You puffed your cheeks “Ryomen Sukuna i have half a never to- Koona!” You turned to your son picking him up “little traitor”

Toddler Yuji who no matter where he is, he’s not afraid to walk, he knows his mom and dad will be right there to catch him and pick him up to try again

The time Yuji was across the massive palace room, you were watching him sit and play. Sukuna was lounged out in front of the sunny window after a bath trying to relax. Never had he felt the instinct that forced him up and over, catching his son just before he toppled over into the floor. His speed was scary and accurate turning to you as you were just behind him.

Little Yuji who yells in delight when you throw him up in the air to catch him again kissing his cheeks, is the same Yuji who screams when his dad hurls him into the air only to fall back against his dad clinging for life against his dads rumbling chest. He dad laughing out loud before Yuji is screaming “again again!”

The heart attacks you’ve had watching these things happen just for Uraume to assure nothing bad will fall upon the heir

The cute moments when you and Sukuna take Yuji’s small chubby hands while walking and picking him up and swinging him every third step. His little smile and laughs as he looks up at both of you, your smile as you look at Sukuna, that rare soft smile and look in his eyes that remind you why you fell for him. Proving he’s not the cruel tyrant others have him to be.

Sukuna who threatens the best artist in the village to create an oil painting of you, your husband and Yuji with every birthday that passes because even though he won’t express how much he enjoys these moments, he’s afraid of time slipping through his fingers

#sukuna ryomen #jjk anime #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #daddy sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna thirst #sukuna x wife reader #yuji and mom reader #yuji x mom reader #son yuji