#I don't know how magician hats work so if this is wrong just give me this okay! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spicycreativity · 3 years

Text

Intertwined - Chapter 6

Chapter: 6/8

Additional Notes: Fic published in full on my AO3, WizardGlick. This is my favorite chapter 😁

Chapter Content Warnings: Blood, respiratory distress

The record player was still in the kitchen, surrounded by puzzle pieces. Patton switched it on and watched the vinyl spin in a daze. He missed Roman's boastful chatter, missed Logan's even keel. Maybe he should just give up. They clearly didn't want him around, and at a certain point, maybe it was selfish to keep badgering them.

God, he was a mess. Virgil had been too tactful to say anything during last night's Ghost Adventures marathon, but he had kicked his feet up in Patton's lap, and that was telling. It wasn't the reassuring full-body contact he longed for, but Virgil had never been big on touch. He couldn't be what Patton needed, and that was fair. It wasn't Virgil's job to take care of Patton. It was no one's job.

Janus' voice sounded unbidden in his head, reminding him in a distinctly annoyed tone, ' It's your job.'

So Patton picked himself up off the kitchen island and opened the fridge. He liked the work of cooking and cleaning. The domesticity was reassuring and sweet and safe. He cooked and cleaned because he loved. He loved Logan, he loved Roman, he loved Virgil. He wanted to see them safe and fed and contented, free to fulfill their functions because Patton fulfilled his.

As he cracked eggs into a bowl, he wondered if he loved Janus. He probably did. How could he help it?

Janus' smile was a rare thing, and that much sweeter for it. And he was so clever, so self-assured, so determined to help. This whole time, that was what was driving him. He wanted to help Thomas the only way he could, and now he was helping Patton. Because… Because he was just good. Even if he, like Virgil before him, kept that light hidden behind walls of sarcasm and bitterness. Janus was good. And Patton loved him.

He had forgotten to turn on the stove. Patton smiled at himself, because what else could he do, and turned on the stove. As he stood there, anxiously eyeing his half-finished omelette, his fingers found their way to the friendship bracelets around his right wrist. He had two there, Logan's and Roman's. They were both made of soft embroidery floss. Roman's had a little charm, a small silver 'R' that sometimes caught the light and made Patton smile when he noticed it.

He and Janus should have friendship bracelets. It could go on his left wrist next to Virgil's. Virgil wouldn't be happy about it, but… But Patton wanted it. He wanted Janus to feel accepted and loved. And there was no way to do that and spare Virgil's feelings. There was just no winning and Patton wanted, wanted, wanted more than he'd ever wanted anything.. Would it really be so bad to indulge this?

After breakfast, Patton relocated to the living room and asked the mindscape's halls for Janus. Janus did not appear, but the fog of the subconscious at the edges of the walls solidified into a hallway. Patton got to his feet and started to walk. He had never really ventured into the space that Roman referred to as 'the Dark Side,' but there was really nothing foreboding about it. The halls were still well-lit, the carpet still plush beneath his feet.

Eventually, the hall opened up to a cozy little alcove. Janus was huddled up against the wall, staring into the depths of a pure black coffee mug. He flinched when he noticed Patton, then smiled.

It was a slow, unfurling thing: first sheepish, then courteous, and finally, genuine. It lit a fire in Patton's chest, made him feel like he was glowing.

"Patton." Janus tipped his hat, peering out coquettishly from under its brim.

"Sorry," said Patton, "am I interrupting?"

"Oh, yes," said Janus, getting to his feet, "I need to have my coffee in utter silence of the caffeine doesn't take."

He sounded a little hoarse. Patton felt himself cross his arms and draw back to examine Janus, but couldn't stop it from happening. His scales looked the same as ever, more yellow than green under the light, but both eyes were glassy in a way that indicated lack of sleep. He looked tired, Patton decided, but not sick.

"Did I button my shirt wrong?" Janus asked, not actually looking down to check. He kept his eyes on Patton.

"Is there something on your mind?" Patton asked.

Janus countered this question with another question, which Patton supposed was fair: "Did you come down here just for that?"

"Well, actually…" Patton tugged at the tight, precise braid of Logan's friendship bracelet. Why was this so hard? "I thought we could-- If you wanted to--" His nerves were taking over and he was helpless to stop them, couldn't control the way his voice trembled. He started over. "So, no pressure, obviously, but I just thought it might be nice if we, you know, made friendship bracelets together." Patton held up his forearms so Janus could see. "If you want."

Tears were forming in Janus' human eye; his chest hitched with uneven breaths. Patton was already raising his arms to offer a hug when Janus turned away and started to cough. Oh.

The fit, though it sounded terrible, ended quickly. Janus straightened, drawing a yellow handkerchief back into his sleeve like a magician. "What," he said, pretending to look at his fingernails, "are the odds of you believing that was nothing?"

"It didn't sound like nothing," Patton said.

Janus sighed and leaned back against the wall, pressing his fingertips to his forehead. "Look, I didn't want to say anything, but I think that our dear benevolent prince might be a little angrier than he let on."

"You think Roman's doing this to you?" That didn't sound like him. He could be stubborn, sure, maybe even bull-headed, but it really wasn't like him to make someone sick. At least, not on purpose.

"It's not Remus," Janus said, crossing his arms. "There's nothing else wrong with me."

"It's just a cough?"

"Just a cough."

Patton tapped his fingers against his leg, thinking. "Roman's not really talking to me at the moment--"

"Typical," Janus muttered.

Not wanting to fight, Patton let this go. "But I'll see if I can… Well, I'll see what I can do."

Janus nodded, then seemed to remember something. His jaw worked for a second, his eyes darting everywhere except Patton's face. "Thank you."

Patton nodded, still inexplicably afraid. Now was his chance to leave, since Janus hadn't acknowledged his offer. If he sank out fast enough-- But what exactly was he running from? He wasn't Logic, but he couldn't deny that it made no sense to run from something he couldn't even identify. "So, um. Did you want to…?"

"Where?" Janus asked.

The trapdoor to the speakeasy opened beneath their feet. Patton's door appeared down the hall. He and Janus looked at each other in silence.

"The lighting might be a little better in my room," Patton said finally. He wasn't sure which of them had caused his door to appear. The subconscious was tricky like that sometimes.

"By all means," Janus said.

It was a little nerve-wracking to have Janus in his room. Patton wasn't quite sure why. Maybe the idea that Janus might not like it, and by extension, not like him. After all, Patton's room was as much an extension of himself and his function as his body was.

Janus stepped quietly over the threshold, holding himself still except for his eyes, which darted from object to object.

"Let me know if you start feeling all sentimental," Patton said, a thrill of nerves tingling his spine. "I don't have a lot of practice controlling my room." Janus probably didn't want to cry today, or ever. Not that he seemed like the type to get caught up in nostalgia. Like Logan, he was ruthless, cutting away what didn't serve him with the precision of a surgeon. Or so it seemed.

Janus nodded. Patton frowned. He'd been awfully quiet since Patron had extended the invitation. He almost seemed scared, which didn't make sense. They were safe in here. Too safe, if Patton let them be, sequestered in this hall of nostalgia's anesthetic haze.

"Are those California poppies?" Janus asked, striding forward to a dresser (the design of which had come from a memory of sleepovers at Thomas' grandmother's house).

"Where?" Patton asked, turning on his heel to look. It was difficult to move without tripping over the odd bin or crate of memorabilia. He found himself faced with a choice to either bend backwards to see around Janus or to stand right next to him. Far too close for propriety, they would be wedged right up against each other like the yearbooks on the far bookshelf.

Patton's heart started to race. Why? Why should he be nervous? He bent backwards, muscles aching in protest at the awkward pose, and peered around Janus' body. "I can't tell."

Janus turned, squinting at Patton's predicament, before looking down at the bins on the floor. He seemed to grasp the issue and extended a hand for Patton to take. "Come here."

Come here. Innocuous words, but the same ones he'd used to bring Patton into his arms that terrible night. Patton's heart fluttered.

He stepped over a stack of textbooks and entered Janus' space. Janus' capelet was soft and velvety against his bare arm; his sleeve a little rougher.

"Are they?" Janus asked.

The poppies were already wilting a little and Patton couldn't help but feel sad about that, even though they were imaginary. "Yes."

"How did you get them?"

"California," Patton said, the memory coming to him on a warm breeze that smelled of the outdoors. "Thomas sees them every time he gets to go."

Janus stifled a cough into the back of his hand, nodding all the while. "He wore them in his hair once."

Patton smiled, mind awash in golden light. Thomas and his friends were making a brief pit stop as they journeyed down I-5 and someone, it didn't even matter who, had spotted the blooms growing by the roadside. And they had all worn flowers in their hair for the rest of the day, bright faces made brighter by the addition of something so beautiful. "Do you like California poppies, Janus?"

"It's funny," Janus said, in a tone so devoid of sarcasm and teasing that Patton nearly did a double-take, "It never occurred to me to like them. But seeing them like this…"

He trailed off, coloring slightly, and Patton's breath caught in his throat. He understood perfectly, too perfectly, and it made him tremble.

It had never occurred to him to love Janus, until one day it did. But this-- Oh, no. Oh, no. Not like this. This couldn't be allowed. Janus glanced over at him and Patton felt his smile snap into place despite the newfound ache of wanting beneath his ribs.

"And here I thought you were going to keep me safe from your room," Janus teased.

"Oops!" Patton ran a hand through his hair. "Give me a second here; I can make a space." He thought for a moment before sitting them both down at a wooden picnic table. He imagined embroidery floss in every color, bins stacked with beads, scissors, and two rolls of masking tape just to be safe.

"Summer camp," Janus said, smiling that crooked smile.

Despite his best efforts, Patton blushed. He tried not to hate himself for it because Janus wouldn't want that. But he also knew he was being far too selfish now, wanting Janus all for himself. There was a line and he had crossed it. "Do you remember what to do?"

Janus was already pawing through the embroidery thread. Loose strands clung to his gloves and Patton watched, intrigued, as Janus' mouth curled into that not-smile he sometimes wore when he was making fun. He withdrew his hands, trailing rainbow strings despite his efforts to shake them off, and glanced at Patton, startling a little when their eyes met.

Patton wasn't sure what to say. 'It's okay' felt hollow, less than a lie. Utterly meaningless. Janus' gloves meant something to him, something that went deeper than just aesthetics. Patton understood, in that moment, what it was all for: the gloves, the high collar, the hat, the sarcasm, the biting remarks, the exaggeration. All guarding Janus' heart. He must have been very afraid. Suddenly his irritation at Patton's inability to prioritize himself made perfect sense.

"I can help you," Patton said, not wanting Janus to feel pressured into taking off his gloves. "You can keep them on, just tell me what colors--"

"Don't be stupid," Janus snapped. "It's just clothing."

"Oh," said Patton. Heat flooded his face, impending tears burning in his eyes. Understanding didn't make it hurt less.

Janus didn't say anything, couldn't, because he was muffling those awful, barking coughs into his sleeve. They sounded so much worse than yesterday. Patton stared at a skein of auburn embroidery floss. He would have to find some way to get through to Roman.

"That was inappropriate," Janus said when he resurfaced. He was a little out of breath; his breath caused loose strings to flutter.

"I understand," Patton said.

"You do?"

Here, Patton hesitated. It seemed a little rude to read Janus, as Roman would say. He had obviously lashed out because he was scared of something.

Janus winced, pressed his lips together, shifted where he sat. "I'm sorry." He wouldn't look at Patton. "I shouldn't have said that."

"We can do this another time," Patton said, "if you're not ready. I just wanted…" It seemed stupid to say it out loud now, stupid and manipulative. "I wanted you to feel accepted."

Janus tugged his gloves off without fanfare, folded them neatly, and set them down on the table. His left hand was scaled, which Patton supposed he should have anticipated. "Don't look," Janus said. Patton frowned, trying to parse this, and Janus elaborated, "I want it to be a surprise."

"Oh!" Patton said, relief flooding his chest like morning sunlight through an eastward-facing window. "Okay." He stared at the embroidery thread, thinking. He had never been all that good at color theory, but… Maybe he could do a dark green for Janus's scales, and gold because they shimmered. To represent himself, he would of course use blue thread. And for the two of them, gray. But what shade of green…? Patton picked up a skein of army green floss, then kelly green, then moss green. "Janus?"

"Hm?"

"I need to look at you."

"Oh, Patton, I'm flattered, but need?"

"Can you just give me your hand for a second?" Patton asked, blushing.

"Which one?" Janus asked archly.

"The left one."

"...What for?"

Patton, still not looking at Janus, held up the three skeins of embroidery floss. "I need to color match."

Janus let out a huff of air through his nose. "I'm much prettier than that."

Then an idea struck. "Ooh, I know what to do! I still need your hand, though."

"Alright, alright." Janus leaned over, extending his hand to Patton. He flinched a little when Patton held it in his own, but did not pull away.

"Hmm," said Patton, examining the scales and the way they reflected back the light. It took a bit of thinking, but he managed to imagine a skein of thread in the same glossy green-gold color.

Then Janus stiffened and started to cough again, his hand curling around Patton's fingers until his nails dug painfully into Patton's skin. The fit was low and ragged and rough, left Janus teary eyed and gasping.

"You're sure this is Roman?" Patton asked, dimly aware that he was still holding Janus' hand.

"Forget it," Janus said, his voice like tattered silk. "You said you'd talk to him."

"I'll go right now if you want me to."

Janus shook his head. "Are you done with my hand? If not, I have a few to spare."

"Oh!" said Patton. "Yes. Sorry." He let go of Janus's hand, knuckles aching where Janus' nails had dug in. Janus' cough must have hurt far more than he was letting on.

Right. Compartmentalize. Friendship bracelets.

Patton picked his colors, eyeballed the thread length, cut them down, and taped the ends to the table. He decided on a simple striped pattern, flat, so it could slide easily under Janus's sleeve or the cuffs of his gloves.

"So you and Remus?" Patton said after he had fallen into a rhythm and didn't need to focus quite so hard.

"We're friends, yes."

"But you said--" Patton cut himself off, embarrassed. He certainly didn't want to be reminded of that awful night, and Janus probably didn't either.

"I know."

Patton was pulling too hard. He set his threads down and added another piece of tape. "I don't get it."

Janus sighed. "I'd rather not talk behind his back, but I will say this: He was on his worst behavior when he introduced himself."

Patton considered this but couldn't think of anything to say other than 'thank God.' That seemed rude, so he just kept his mouth shut. The silence that ensued felt equally as rude, and words slipped out of Patton's mouth before he could stop himself, "Do you love him?"

Janus didn't answer. Patton was tempted to look at him, to try to read his expression, but didn't want to risk ruining the surprise. Finally, Janus sighed and Patton heard the gentle rustle of his clothing as he shifted in his seat. "Defensive sarcastic quip."

Patton dropped his threads again so he could muffle a laugh behind his hands. "Sorry, was that too personal?"

"No, no, I love talking about myself. Maybe next you can ask me about my deepest fears."

"I didn't mean to be pushy," Patton said. It was hard not to be; he was so full of love love love he just wanted to give it away like Tupperwares full of snickerdoodles, like wildflower bouquets. He wanted Janus, wanted his whole fam-ILY to know and feel it as deeply as he felt it.

And Janus especially, Patton wanted to tell him with his lips, with his hands, with his tongue. His whole body radiating love.

But just because he wanted didn't mean he could have. He ached with a selfish desire to be held again, safe in Janus' arms. But even Patton was smart enough to understand that that moment was over and done with. They had shared it, and now it was another snapshot for the shoebox Patton kept in his closet. His own memories, separate from Thomas. A testament to his personhood.

They worked in silence after that, until Patton's wandering thoughts came to rest, inevitably, on the trouble at hand. "Hey, Janus?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think we should do now? Thomas can't keep going like this for much longer, I don't think. He hasn't done anything. And I-- I'm not saying-- I'm not trying to say it's, you know, immoral to rest, but this doesn't seem healthy." And also, it did chafe Patton a little, to see Thomas being so lazy, but he could keep that to himself.

"The sooner Logan and Roman get over themselves, the better," Janus said.

"I haven't checked on them yet today." Patton heaved a sigh and tried to focus on his pattern. He had the matte gray hooked around his finger at the moment, his own deliberate reminder to compromise.

"They haven't checked on you at all."

"So, what, then?" Patton asked, struggling not to look up. "I should get mad and ignore them right back?"

"That's what I would do," Janus said. "And you did ask. But…" A long-ish pause. "As we both know, I'm always right."

Oh. Patton closed his eyes, trying not to fold over and bury his forehead in the rough wood of the picnic table. He'd never wanted to see the worst in Janus, but he'd been bracing for it all the same. And every time he held his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, it never happened.

That didn't mean they were never going to fight. Patton knew he was naive, but he wasn't that naive. But he had been bracing for something so much worse than this.

It was for Thomas. He had to remind himself. Janus had even said so, down in the parlor. It was all for Thomas. And Patton was sure, when it came time to make the next big decision, they would be at odds again.

But maybe… Maybe it didn't have to be so hostile. Couldn't they disagree without being enemies?

"You are always right, Janus," Janus said in Patton's voice. "And you're so handsome, and smart, too."

It was equal parts creepy and amusing, but Patton appreciated what Janus was trying to do, so he smiled. "I mean, you are smart. And h--" The word caught in his throat. They did all look very similar, though the subtle nature of the subconscious altered their appearances somewhat. It sharpened up Janus' features some, took away several inches of height, made his eyes dark and flashing. "And handsome," Patton finished weakly.

"You already said that," Janus said, voice dripping with faux-innocence.

"You're sweet, is what you are," Patton teased back.

"Finished," said Janus.

Patton blinked, thrown off, before he realized what Janus meant. "I'm almost done. Give me juuuust a second." He finished the bracelet with a practiced hand. "Can I look now?"

"Give me your hand. Then you can look."

Patton extended his left hand and finally looked over at Janus for the first time since they had started. The bright colors of the bracelet caught his eye immediately; it was an intricate weave of only two colors: bright yellow and true blue. Janus fingers were deft and gentle around Patton's wrist. He made no remarks about the purple and black bracelet already tied on.

"Oh, Janus, it's perfect!" Patton said. Hot tears welled up in his eyes. He let them fall, unashamed. It was nice to cry happy tears for once. "Your turn."

Janus pushed up his sleeve, tilting his head at Patton's bracelet. "What does it mean?"

"The green is for your scales," Patton explained, positioning the bracelet around Janus' right wrist. "The blue is for me. And the gray is.." He paused, suddenly embarrassed. "Well, it's a reminder."

One of the ends brushed against Janus' forearm and he twitched, nearly pulling out of Patton's grasp. "That tickled," he explained.

"You're ticklish?"

"No," Janus said, far too quickly for it to be the truth.

Patton smiled at him, though he knew they were a long way off from friendly touches. It struck him then just how badly he wanted that future. He wanted cuddle sessions with Janus on the couch, just the two of them. He wanted stolen kisses in the kitchen and tickle fights in bed. He wanted Janus, body and soul, consequences be damned. "Noted," Patton said. "Janus: totally not ticklish, even a little bit."

"Gospel truth," Janus said.

Patton finished tying on the bracelet and sat back. "Well…" He didn't want to leave his room, which was a sure sign it was time to go. "I'd better go check on my kiddos."

To his surprise, Janus didn't scowl or nag. He tugged his gloves back on, carefully sliding the bracelet inside the cuff. "What do you say to them?"

"Just that I'm here," Patton said. "And I love them.

"You know, Patton--" Janus got up and held the door open, breaking the spell of Patton's room somewhat-- "sometimes I think you're too good for the likes of us."

And then he was gone, sinking out before Patton could ask him what he meant by that.

Patton went first to Logan's room. Logan had maintained his silence after the meeting, not even answering to tell Patton to go away. The only hint Patton had that he was still in there was that Thomas hadn't gone completely off the rails.

"Hey, Logan." Patton knocked gently. "I'll go away soon, because I know you don't want me to bother you. I just wanted to say… Well, I'm not sure what you need right now, but I know this isn't it. So whenever you're ready to come out, I'll be here." It was so hard not to spill his guts to that plain white door. Almost like a confessional, only that Logan stubbornly refused to tell him what he had to do to earn forgiveness. "I'll go now. Come get me if you need anything, okay? I love you and I miss you." He waited a few seconds for any signs of movement within, but there was nothing.

Down the hall to Roman's room then.

The sight of Virgil seated on the floor with his back pressed up against Roman's cherrywood door made Patton pause, breaths stuttering in his chest.

He kept his distance, but Virgil had startled at the sound of his steps on the carpet.

Patton flashed him a thumbs up and cocked his head.

Virgil nodded.

Patton sank out. What else could he do? If Roman would rather talk to Virgil than to him, well… Patton couldn't blame him.

He sat down heavily at the kitchen island, staring down at the half-finished puzzle. Tears blurred his eyes and he took off his glasses as they started to fall. He was so, so sick of crying. He did it all the time. Every strong emotion moved him to tears.

He wanted to crawl back to Janus' room, relive that tender night. Just once, he wanted someone else to pick him up off the ground. He was thoroughly sick of being his own hero.

He had mostly gotten himself under control by the time Virgil popped up by the fridge. It was only his breathing that still troubled him, heavy and painful in his chest.

"Hey, Virge."

"Since when do you call me that?" Virgil asked, opening the fridge.

It was reflex more than anything that forced Patton to his feet. "I can make you something."

"You don't have to," Virgil mumbled, cheeks going scarlet under his foundation.

"I want to," Patton said. That much was still true, at least. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Uh, I was just gonna make a sandwich," Virgil said.

"BLT?"

"Sure."

Patton nodded, clenching his left hand into a fist by his side. Virgil was incredibly observant; he was bound to notice Janus' friendship bracelet. Patton wasn't sure whether to let him or to bring it up.

Virgil saved him from having to decide. "Where have you been all morning?" Patton wordlessly held up his arm, feeling for all the world like a guilty child. Sure enough, Virgil's eyes narrowed. But to Patton's surprise, no lecture followed. "Janus made that?"

"Mm-hm." Patton nodded. "I made him one, too."

"Is he wearing it?" Virgil asked, looking dumbfounded.

"Yeah," Patton said, a little emboldened now that he knew Virgil wasn't angry. "Tied it on myself."

"He let you do that? Janus?" Virgil ran both hands through his hair, looking at Patton like he'd just expressed a desire to go cliff diving while blindfolded.

"I mean, I didn't have to tie him down."

Virgil sighed through his nose and wandered to the kitchen island with a lost expression. "That's weird."

Patton opened up the fridge. "Are you okay?" he said to the condiments rack, not wanting to make Virgil uncomfortable with too much eye contact.

"Watch him," Virgil said. "Watch him like a hawk… A hawk with binoculars."

"Aww!" said Patton, picturing it. "Oh! How's Roman?"

"Conflicted," Virgil said. "I told him you've been hanging out with Janus."

Patton bit his tongue and pulled a head of lettuce out of the crisper drawer. It wasn't wrong to spend time with Janus. He loved Janus. Love was never wrong. "How'd he take it?"

"Nnnot that bad?" Virgil said. "I think it helps that Thomas hasn't gone full, y'know, Squip."

"You know I wouldn't let that happen," Patton said. He moved over to the counter and paused to take a few deep breaths. His chest hurt a little. Probably just from crying too much. But that reminded him of Janus and that worrisome, mysterious cough. "By the way, does Roman seem… in control?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, he accidentally made it super cold for a little bit."

"Oh," said Virgil, "yeah. He apologized for that. He's okay now."

Patton nodded, trying not to let his worry show on his face. But it crept into the corners of his mind and kept him silent as he made two BLTs. If Janus was sure it wasn't Remus and Virgil was sure it wasn't Roman… Who else could it be? Or what else?

No answers sprang into Patton's mind. He bit his lip and stabbed one fancy toothpick each through sandwiches. He slid one plate over to Virgil, mindful not to upset any stray puzzle pieces, then rounded the kitchen island to sit next to Virgil.

"You…" he started, and paused to catch his breath. "You're not mad, are you?"

"I mean, I don't love that you're hanging out with Janus. I wish you wouldn't. I wish he'd leave us all alone and go back to slinking around in the shadows like the snake he is." Virgil turned his head to look at the new friendship bracelet on Patton's arm. "But you're your own Side. It would be wrong for me to try to control you. I just really hope he doesn't hurt you, Patton."

"So you're not mad?"

"No, pop star, I'm not mad. Just worried about you."

"Thanks, kiddo."

It seemed that these days, the mindscape was just made up of one crisis after another. After spending a pleasant day with Virgil, albeit with his breaths dragging in and out of his body like the air was too thick to breathe, the next morning found Patton doubled over in a fit of coughing so intense it knocked his glasses off. He ducked right back into his room, kicking his glasses in before him, and spat out a mouthful of heart-shaped flowers onto the floor.

Hm. Uh-oh. He wasn't an expert on biology, but he was fairly sure that wasn't supposed to happen.

The blooms were pretty, though, bright magenta hearts with little white tails. Bleeding hearts, they were called.

Patton frowned. Hadn't Janus said… Yes. 'I want you to protect that bleeding heart of yours.' How ironic. Maybe. Patton could never seem to use 'irony,' right, something Logan was always quick to point out.

He coughed again, but no flowers came up this time. That was good, probably. Coughing was bad, coughing up blood was worse. Surely coughing up flowers had to be somewhere in the middle.

He stood up straight again and banished the flowers into nothingness. Was it coincidence that Janus had a cough? Was it contagious? He hadn't said anything about flowers, though.

Patton sank out, grabbing his glasses on the way. If he was coughing, then he was probably sick. He knew how to handle that.

Since Virgil rarely spent time in the living room, Patton could hole up there with tea and toast and Adventure Time on the TV. Just until he was better, and then it would be right back to trying to fix things. He wondered if Janus would be proud or whether he would just push for Patton to rest more. Maybe both.

Virgil made an appearance a few hours later, about the time that Patton felt his patience running thin. The cough wasn't getting better, but he had no full-body fatigue to make the cartoon marathon bearable. Sitting still for too long made him antsy.

"Roman invited me in," Virgil called from the kitchen, dashing any hopes Patton had for conversation. "I just wanted to let y-- What are you doing?"

"I think I'm getting sick," Patton explained, wincing as the words seemed to claw their way out of his torn-up throat.

"Are you okay?"

Patton nodded. Aside from the cough, he really did feel fine. Maybe this would pass quickly. "Tell Roman I said hi."

"Will do." Virgil gave one last, lingering look before he sank out.

This left Patton alone with the ache in his chest and the vast loneliness threatening to swallow him whole. He tried not to think too much about Janus, lest he inadvertently summon him again, but it was so hard now. He didn't ever want to be apart from Janus. It was such a pure and simple yearning that Patton couldn't even feel guilty for it (though he did feel an echo of guilt that he didn't feel guilty). But it was a desire born of love, and how could that be bad?

The only bad thing about it was that Janus didn't love him back. Of course he didn't. How could he? All he ever did was run around babysitting Patton through crying spells, desperately trying to get him to pull himself together. There was nothing remotely attractive about that. In fact, with Janus, it seemed that all Patton did was take, take, take. He was guilty of the exact behavior that had him so wrung-out and desperate in the first place. How embarrassing.

Patton coughed into the crook of his arm, catching flowers and leaves in his mouth and banishing them without looking. He'd been sick before, they all had, but never like this. He almost wished for fatigue or a headache, something to make resting a little more bearable. Right now, he just felt lazy.

A bottle of NyQuil appeared on the couch next to him, nestled up against an embroidered throw pillow. Patton looked at it. He could already hear Logan lecturing him about the dangers of misusing medication, but… Patton was sick. And he was imaginary. And Thomas probably knew better than to chug NyQuil at the first sign of illness.

It would be fine. Patton poured out a dose and drank it down with his nose plugged in the hopes of masking the alcohol-tinged artificial sweetness. He still shuddered at the syrupy sensation on his tongue. Then he sank out, changed into his pajamas, and buried himself under his covers to slip into a coma.

#sanders sides fanficion #sanders sides #moceit #spicywrites #spicywrites intertwined

13 notes · View notes

trevor-wilson-covington · 3 years

Text

The Possibilities...Part 2

// After the last post of the CD covers I did went over so well with y’all, I decided to do the other 13 songs in the show and added in some character themed ones as well. Hope y’all like these ones as much as you did the last batch. I have 20, so they’ll be in 2 separate posts! 😊😄

** I also gave little descriptions for each cover to explain why I chose a certain pic, how I came up with the character or band specific logo in the top corner, and/or any other needed explanations (like college age looking characters or what’s up with Caleb).**

PART 1

~ For this one, I was deciding between a neon sign of a rainbow or going for a more generic picture of someone on a cliff side for lyrics like “That we're standing on the edge of...Something big, something crazy...Our best days are yet unknown...That this moment is ours to own...'Cause we're standing on the edge of great”. In the end, I liked the rainbow neon heart the most because it felt like it connected with lyrics “Shout, shout...C'mon and let it out, out...Don't gotta hide it...Let your colors blind their eyes...Be who you are, no compromise” really well.

Logo: The band logo inside a Dahlia, which, depending on the CD cover, changes color to fit its background better

~ This cover I looked forward to as I worked on all the other ones, as I had found this art back when I was doing aesthetic/mood boards of the songs late last year. It is an amazing fit for the song and the control Caleb and his curse have over the boys as they perform it, a puppet master controlling his puppets for his own gain.

Logo: Took the logo I had done my best to recreate for OSOH and used it here

~ Finally, for this one I had between stuck between doing this flower (or weed, idek) picture or one of 3 options of ones with trees that were miraculously still standing in the middle of a lake or in a foggy field. All encapsulated the feeling of standing strong and lyrics like “Even if I'm the last standing...I'ma stand tall...I'ma stand tall” very well, but a mutual and I decided the flower best represented Julie and the incredible strength/bravery she showcased going up on that stage and performing without the boys. Like the flower, Julie was persevering and deciding even without her band, her family, by her side she would “keep on going when it's all falling apart” because she’s “gotta keep on dreaming...’gotta catch that feeling" like the strong, amazing performer she is and always has been.

Logo: The band logo inside a Dahlia, matching the color of the flower, Julie, because they’re a family now

~ For Julie and the rest of the teens, I decided that it would be alright to age up because trying to find an exact match to their ages and looks using the resources I had was going to be practically impossible. This pic I had used for a Julie/Rose, mother-daughter mood board last year and thought it would work great here. (If i did do something wrong with this representation of Julie in regards to skin tone, let me know)

Logo: The same thing, Julie’s initials inside a Dahlia, that I used in Part 1 of this post set for songs she performed alone

~ I had a few options for a Luke pic, including 2 that ended up being too Charlie for this post, but when I found this pic I thought this would work best. Trying to find a pic that captures his hair, the beanie, and his style while also somewhat resembling Luke is stressful and impossible without likely losing my mind in the process. So, I decided a vague resemblance would work and decided to use my artistic license to say this is how I am choosing to represent our ghost himbo leading singer. The beanie felt right and not having the person’s whole face visible allowed for use of the imagination and for that air of mystery Luke aims to give off.

Logo: I made a special logo for Luke of his initials in the same font as I used for them in the PH cover logo, but for this logo decided to put them atop a journal to represent the one he writes all his songs in and holds as sacred and many times off-limits to others

~ For Alex, I also had a hard time finding a close enough match that worked to represent him through hair, clothing, or even stature. I ended up finding this pic, of an actor from Outer Banks I believe, that seemed to fit the Alex vibe well enough to me, despite not have any of those matching clothing items or a perfect match for hairstyle.

Logo: For this one I went with the expected, default fanny pack with his initials on it because there wasn’t quite any other sticker options on the site I use for these that screamed Alex and the fanny pack is intrinsic to his character (and we love it)

~ Now for Reggie, I was able to find a pic that had both his look and allowed for him to have an instrument, even if I couldn’t for the other 2 himbos. It’s a pic of a member of The Neighbourhood performing and the leather jacket/white shirt, hair, and what I believe is a bass guitar fit with Reggie so well. I had 2 options of pics of this band member from 2 angles, but ended up deciding this one looked best.

Logo: A cowboy on a horse to represent Reggie and his country music career dreams, plus ‘Home Is Where My Horse Is’, with his initials in a fitting font over it

~ While I was hesitant to use a pic of 2 girls on the ‘Flying Solo’ cover in an attempt to not unintentionally represent Madi and Jadah’s skin tones wrong, for this one just aiming to represent Flynn by herself I did my best to find a pic of a girl that not only got Flynn’s hair as we see it in the show represented but also had a close match to her/Jadah’s skin tone. Here’s to hoping I did her justice (but if I still did do something wrong with this representation of Flynn in those regards, let me know)! I thought the outfit, while not as eclectic as Flynn’s on the show, worked well for a casual look for Flynn in like Senior year of high school or even college, since the pics age all these characters up a bit.

Logo: For the logo I went with a turntable sticker and Flynn’s initials, including letters for ‘no last name’ as people have used for her in post tags, until we learn of a last name for her hopefully in the future

~ While looking for neon sign pics for other CD covers in this post set I came across many with people in them, a handful that also would have worked for Carrie, before finding this one among them. I loved the neon glow off the girl and the close match, as far as I can tell in the lighting, to Carrie/Savannah’s strawberry blonde hair. The outfit, similar to Flynn’s, works for end of high school or during college, where Carrie might dress in toned down versions of her usual style, we see her in during the show. The piercing and more carefree demeanor being effects of her letting go of the image she hid behind in HS and becoming a more authentic Carrie.

Logo: I chose to put her initials over a diamond both because I wanted to use a diamond like I almost did for the pic in the ‘WOW’ cover and because of the diamond’s symbolism of things like strength/power, creativity, and balance/clarity

~ Finally, for Caleb I had originally had a sepia colored picture of a magician looking guy in a top hat looking out onto the ocean or some body of water with his back to the camera...then I found this one. My mutual, who has been helping me with this post set, and I nicknamed him ‘Sexy Caleb’! He just gives off that suave, over-the-top magician vibe that is kinda Caleb’s thing. Since the rest of the characters were merely resemblance pics of the characters, I thought why not just go that route with Caleb’s and have fun with it. This was the result and I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I do!

Logo: Went with the default sticker of a top hat for Caleb’s logo because it just works so well to represent him and the added initials on it almost look like goggles, like he wears in the very last scene of the season

#jatp cd covers #jatp edits #jatp fanart #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #flynn jatp #carrie wilson #caleb covington

26 notes · View notes

sengenweek · 4 years

Text

SenGen Week: Day 04 (Correction)

Day 04: January 01

Soulmate au / first date/meeting

-'-

Title: Colorfools.

-'-

A/N: You can see every color, except for the color of your soulmate's eyes. Once you see the eyes of your soulmate, you can finally see the color that has never been available for your sight.

-'-

He was lonely, and had nothing better to do that day, so he'd gone to a nice coffee shop downtown just to kill some time outside his house. Being indoors all the time was getting to his nerves. The coffee shop was a nice place, decorated with whites and browns in a second floor, and a big window with view to the outside, but the view was plagued with people and cars; nothing interesting to see. He opened a notebook containing drafts for his next book, as his drink and snack arrived, he was already engrossed in his writing and thanked the waiter absently.

He wrote and scratched several lines, using at least three of his pages when he decided to leave his pencil aside to take a sip of his coffee, looking once more to the window as he munched on a donut. And he noticed something, someone who looked briefly upwards and Gen got a glimpse of their eyes. Their eyes. A color he'd never seen before, a beautiful and mesmerizing shade enlightened by the sunlight. And as soon as the person –a boy, a teen?– had glanced up, his eyes went back to the floor, leaving Gen to observe a very strange mop of hair that stuck up. He was with two other people, a tall young man, and a girl with long hair, but Gen barely paid them any mind, he was stuck on the other teen, the one with odd hairstyle, and such beautiful eyes. He was about to get up from his seat and run to him, run to catch him. But as soon as Gen had seen him, the crowd had engulfed him.

Red. He knew what the color he'd never been able to see was called. Red. Gen saw it, again, in the traffic lights, in the neon signs of Tokyo, in the package of his favorite drink, Cola. Red. In the cover of his notebook, in the ink of his pen, in the drawings of his deck of cards. Gen saw red, the color that was missing from his life; and he loved it. He loved the color that painted his soulmate's eyes. And he regretted the fact that he may never see this person again, may never even hear his voice.

-'-

The girls at school –as well as some boys– seemed to have gained an interest in someone named Asagiri Gen, a sort of magician. One day, one of his classmates read aloud a quiz from one of his 'psicology' books, and Senkuu quickly disregarded it's value, and decided it wasn't really worth the effort to read more from it, so he didn't even looked at it.

That afternoon when the rest of his classmates as well as Taiju and Yuzuriha had left the classroom, he noticed his classmate had left the aforementioned book in there, so he took it to put it away and return it the next day, he lifted the book and saw it's cover which portrayed Asagiri Gen himself in the front. Asagiri Gen. A magician. A 'writer'. The complete opposite of him. He saw the deep blue of his eyes. He saw it in the night sky, in his father's tie, in the sea, in the wallpaper of his computer, in his jeans. He saw the color he'd never seen before, and got excited –happy, even–. So he thanked Asagiri Gen for putting his face in his trashy book, and left it at that. There was no need for Senkuu to do anything else about this.

And that was a filthy lie, because he tamed his hair down, wore a hat and glasses to attend one of his shows, he sat on the back row, hidden. Asagiri Gen's magic show was no big thing, he used every old trick in the book with a little personal twist. His smile was big and false. Like his show, Asagiri Gen seemed to be an act. Senkuu wondered what he'd be like in reality. So every now and again, he would read one of his trashy books, aimed towards the public to produce sales, and once or twice, assisted to his shows. Never once did he make contact.

-'-

'AD 5738, April 1st'

Whoever carved that was totally insane. Whoever carved that, had kept track of time while being petrified. Whoever carved that, was awesome. And Shishio Tsukasa feared this person. This Ishigami Senkuu person had to be someone worth knowing. He was hopeful to find him alive, despite having heard Tsukasa say he'd killed him with his own hands. He was quickly despached to go find the village of primitive people and the smell of ramen invaded Gen's nostrils.

'Ishigami Senkuu must have lived, then' was his first thought.

He snuck around the people and snatched a bowl, being his usual confident self even as he got surrounded by three of them, aiming very sharp spears –and knives– at him.

"I thought I'd seen your face somewhere before, Asagiri Gen"

He turns to look at the one he can only asume, is Ishigami Senkuu, and his heart beats so wildly in his ribcage he'd swear it would burst it open. He only ever saw them once, he only ever saw him once, but Gen would recognize that shade of scarlet, that weird mop of hair, anywhere. It took all of his self-control to keep his façade. The young man didn't seem fazed at all, he put Gen to work and got information out of him, not that he was going to keep it a secret anyhow.

"All I have to do is make a false report. 'It was only a primitive village.' 'Senkuu is dead.' With that, I can save you, Senkuu-chan"

'^I can save you^ I don't want you to die'

He hoped Senkuu had gotten the message, since he didn't show any reaction to seeing him. And Gen knew he'd never mistake his soulmate.

'But. Soulmate or not, you're amazing, and I want you to live.'

-'-

He didn't know if Gen was avoiding the subject on purpose, but he supposed it wasn't good to just dodge the situation forever. The matter of being soulmates had to be adressed eventually.

"Senkuu-chan~!" Ah, yes, speaking of the devil.

He turns to look at Gen, smiling brightly, the scar on his cheek making his grin far more devious than it should be.

"What are you doing up so late at night?" he questions.

"I could ask you the same, Gen"

"Insomnia~! Your turn~!"

"Stargazing" he grins.

"You like the stars?"

"Yeah, they're a good way to know your location, and the time at night. Although, after so many years, they shifted in their place. They're not where I remember them being"

"Everything has changed" he mumbles nostalgic.

"It's not so bad. With consistent and sustained effort we can bring it back to being more or less where everything was. It'll take years, perhaps even decades, though"

"Ah, yes. You'll work everyone to exhaustion"

"You damn right, I will" he beams.

Gen can only sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

-'-

An observatory. Gen really surprised him this time. 'He must've remembered when we spoke of the stars' he mused. He really should speak to him now, he knew jackshit about these kinda feelings, but he was sure this was more than just a gift for his birthday, the words the mentalist spoke were far too much of a hint.

As if being summoned by his thoughts –again– the mentalist burst throught the entrance on the floor elegance in his movements.

"Stargazing?" he asked.

"Yes and no. I'm trying to find where the stars are now"

There's a map on the floor, notes and constellations drawn into it. Gen takes a sit right next to him.

"And how is that going?"

"My hand hurts from scribbling so much" he sighes.

The mentalist takes his right hand gingerly, tracing circles and triangles and squares into his open palm, lips pursed –almost pouting–, inspecting it as if it were an antient text.

"Don't tell me you read palms too, mentalist" he jokes.

"Why, yes I do~!" Gen answers gaze never leaving his hand.

"Oh really? And what does my future say?"

"You have a tewible luck. As always"

"Mmm"

Senkuu changes the position of their hands, now he's the one tracing figures on Gen's palm, making him chuckle.

"What does my future say, Senkuu-chan~?" he asks amused.

"It says... You will be kissed shortly"

"Eh? Kissed?"

Senkuu leaned –eyes open– and placed a chaste kiss on Gen's lips. And Gen looks cute when he gets paralized and blushing, his eyes three times larger than a moment ago.

"Thank you, for my birthday present. And for the color blue. It's beautiful"

Gen tries to speak a few times, but he only manages to look like a fish, so he gives up, and buries his face on his sleeved hands.

"Never seen you so flustered before. How cute" Senkuu chuckles.

"You're so mean~!" he pouts.

"Sorry. But it seemed like we avoided the subject for too long"

He spreads his fingers, letting only one bright iris to be discerned.

"I suppose you're right" he agrees. "You knew since the modern days who I was"

"I saw your face in one of your trashy books"

"Heh. I saw you once from inside a coffee shop"

"Really?"

"Yes. It was only a fleeting moment when you looked up" he explained sheepishly. "I wanted to go after you then, but you got lost in the crowd. I think you were with Taiju-chan and Yuzuriha-chan"

"Heh, I probably was"

"I like it. Red, I mean"

"I wonder if everyone just loves the color they'd never seen before"

"Probably most people do" he smiles, finally revealing his face.

And Senkuu takes the chance to steal another kiss. This time Gen responds, draping his arms on Senkuu's neck, the other pulls Gen closer by his waist.

Scarlet and cobalt meet, they suit each other quite beautifully.

-'-

A/N: So, I posted day one again for mistake. Kids, don't go operating heavy machinery when you're sleep deprived, just sayin', ya could get something wrong. Also on:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13464121/4/SenGen-Week-2019-2020

#i deleted the other submission hope thats alright #day four #soulmates #first meeting #sengenweek #sengen week #sengen #submission

17 notes · View notes

clanwarrior-tumbly · 6 years

Note

If you dont mind can you do a fic where anti and chase still had their personality switched or their bodies switched and chase's kids came over that weekend and upon seeing their dad, they scream thinking he was a monster from their nightmares. Heartbroken chase hides in his room thinking he is a real monster. The reader finds out after anti fills them in and they tell the kids that it was their father, so now they have to make him feel better. Totally up to you, you don't have to do it😊😊

Oh shoot you actually remember that story??? I went back and found it here ^^

I think a small continuation of it is a good idea :3

......

“So have you worked out anythin’ yet?” “Anti” huffed as he sat on Marvin’s bed, beside “Chase”, tapping his foot impatiently. “Ya said it’d be ready this mornin’..”

“Ah..undoing this spell is actually more complicated than I first thought..” The magician remarked, flipping through his spellbook. “Sorry to say but..I may need more time to-”

“WE’VE GIVEN YOU PLENTY OF TIME!!” The glitch jumped to his feet and glowered at him in rage.

“Anti..just calm down,” “Chase” bravely spoke up. “Yelling at Marvin’s not gonna make him work any faster. We just gotta deal with this until he figures it out.”

“Anti” turned back to him. “Y’know..the only reason I’m pissed is ‘cause Chase’s kids are comin’ over any minute, and I don’t want ‘em clingin’ to me the whole time.”

“I know..I know but...maybe they’ll understand. We’ll just explain what happened and hopefully-”

The faint ringing of a doorbell cut him off, and the three egos heard Henrik answer it. Then “Chase” heard his kids’ excited voices and smiled, although it faltered when he stared down at his green hands, his heart sinking into his stomach.

“Marv..m-maybe you should go out and tell them I can’t-”

“Ah he should be in Marvin’s room right now. But I must varn you zhat he’s not-hey!”

Running footsteps were heard, but Marvin was too late to shut the door to his room as, there in the doorway, stood Grayson and Samantha. “Chase” adjusted his hat and stood up, giving them a shaky smile even though they flinched. “H-Hey kids. It’s uh..It’s not what it-”

However, they both let out small screams of terror as they darted past him and right towards “Anti”, hugging his legs. “Daddy!! That’s the monster!!” Sam cried out, pointing to “Chase”. “The monster from o-our nightmares! He’s right there!!”

“M-Monster...?” “Chase” felt his heart completely shatter.

“Yeah! You’re the monster in the red hallway that pretends to be Dad!!” Gray glared at him. “But we’re not scared of you! So go away and leave our dad alone!!” He hugged “Anti”‘s leg tighter.

“N-No, no you got it all wrong. I-I’m-”

“Shoo you ugly demon!”

Being too crushed to continue further, he sniffled and lowered the bill of his hat, covering his watering eyes, before he fled the room, almost bumping into you in the process.

“Gah! Chase what..?” You turned around just in time to see the door to his bedroom slam shut.

Figuring something was amiss, you headed to Marvin’s room, only to see the magician, “Anti”, Gray, and Sam. “What’s going on here? I thought Marvin was-”

“[Y/n]!” Sam squealed as she let go of his leg and hugged you. Soon enough Gray followed suit. “Gray and I chased out the bad monster from our nightmares!” She smiled from ear-to-ear. “Daddy’s safe now!”

“...so ya think Uncle Anti’s ugly, huh?”

The two siblings tensed up, looking back at “Anti”. “Wh-What?” Gray murmured.

“Because of Marvin’s little magic mishap...yer dad and I switched bodies. My personality is in here.” He pointed at himself. “And Dad’s in my body, aka the one you just chased out.”

For a few moments, they both remained quiet as they processed this information, before they realized that-

“Oh no..”

“We...We were saying all those mean things to Daddy.” Sam frowned in sadness, although she glared at “Anti”. “How do we know you’re not trying to trick us?”

“He’s telling the truth,” you chimed in, kneeling down so you were at eye-level with the kids. “You didn’t listen to your dad when he tried explaining everything?”

“We thought..h-he was tricking us,” Gray muttered. "He sounded upset when we screamed but..we-”

“It’s okay. This was all just a big misunderstanding. Anti and your dad were suppose to be back to normal before you guys came over but....” Then you shook your head, smiling a bit. “You know what? How about we go cheer him up? I think he’ll need that now more than ever.”

They nodded in agreement, smiles appearing on their faces, too. You chuckled and stood up and left Marvin’s room, them following suit.

”Some help you were, magician.” “Anti” snorted. “Ya could’ve just slammed the door on their faces. That would’ve been funny.”

"Anti..no.”

........

“Chase” curled up in the corner of his room, sobbing into his hands. “I-I-I’m sorry..” He cried to no one in particular. “I’m sorry I-I’m a bad father..I’m sorry I’m a lowlife that c-can’t take care of his family..I’m s-sorry I’m a monster.”

Lowering his hands, he hiccuped and looked at the whiskey beside him. But before he could even think of taking a shot, he heard the door creak open. He glanced over to see his kids rush towards him, kneeling down and enveloping him in tight hugs.

“We’re sorry we didn’t listen to you, Dad,” Gray whispered.

“We didn’t mean to say all those bad things,” Sam told him. “You’re not an ugly monster. You could never be one.”

With a sniffle, “Chase” shakily put his arms around them, a tiny smile on his lips as he watched them snuggle up to him. Even though tears still stained his cheeks, he had calmed down a bit, relieved that they understood what happened and that his mind was only playing tricks on him.

He wasn’t a monster.

He was their caring, loving dad who would do anything for them.

“You okay, Chase?”

He looked over and saw you kneeling beside him, a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Y-Yeah..” Nodding, he gazed back at his kids. “I feel a lot better..but...guys? Please don’t tell your mother about this, okay?”

“We won’t.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it, Daddy.”

#clanask #anonymous #chase brody x reader #antisepticeye x reader

42 notes · View notes

acescreations · 5 years

Text

Moody Manipulations - Patton

[Part 2 to the Connected Youtuber Ego Universe(CYEU) stories I'm doing on Amino.]

Characters: Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Thomas Sanders, Elliott (Cartoon Therapy), Kai (Cartoon Therapy), Lauren (Cartoon Therapy), Missy Sanders [background character], Pranks Sanders [refrenced], Mitchell (Cartoon Therapy) [mentioned]

Warnings: Patton has a really bad day, cries, and hides his emotions, Patton also has a retail job I feel like I should mention that, Mitchell is implied to be a little b*tch, Patton gets verbally abused

Word Count: 1798

It really didn't take me long to figure out what my emotions do. Whenever I was happy, things went right in the world, and when I was sad things went wrong. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but the correlation was too obvious to be chance. After that, I always did my best to stay in a good mood. I'd do things I enjoy, and avoid people and things that upset me.

I have to admit, staying happy became a lot harder. It almost seemed like a job at this point, since it was my responsibility to be happy. I still tried my hardest despite this, and when I was happy, hearing about all the good things happening in the world put me in an even better mood. Though that did go both ways, and hearing about bad things happening made me more upset, so I eventually decided to not look at the news when I was already uspet.

This was all a pretty good strategy for keeping my mood up, but one day everything went wrong, and I had no idea how to stay happy then.

I was heading down to my job at the local retail store and I bumped into someone on the street. "Whoops! Sorry about that." They said nothing, and just kept walking. I was surprised I didn't see them sooner. They had a head full of messy green hair along with bright blue eyes. I didn't really think much of it, after all, it was a busy street, people run into each other all the time. Once I got to my job, I saw my best friend getting his stuff. It looked like he was leaving, but we were supposed to be on the same shift today. I walked up to him as he was putting his hat on. "What's going on Chase? Are you leaving?" He turned to me with a sigh. "Yeah, I just got fired. I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for my date with Stacy now."

"Oh, geez." I was pretty disappointed myself. I always looked forward to the days when we worked together. "Well, good luck on finding a new job, I guess." Chase nodded as he walked past me. "Yeah, I guess."

I sighed as he left. This job was going to get a lot harder without him here. But, I still had my job to do, so I put on my name tag and I clocked in.

After a while of uneventful work, a woman came in and slammed a box of party supplies onto the counter. "I need to return these," she demanded.

"Okay ma'am," I said, a little nervous, "do you have the receipt?"

"No, but I don't need this anymore. I never needed it, so give me a refund on it!"

"I'm sorry, but can't return anything without proof of purchase." I had never had one of these conversations before, and this lady was really intimidating.

"I'm not keeping stuff my husband bought as a prank! Of course you teenagers don't care about how much money all this costs, you probably get handed money just so you can spend it all on stupid parties, don't you?"

Of course, I didn't actually do any of that, but she didn't know that, and I wasn't allowed to tell her that. "I want to help you, but I can't give you a refund on anything without a receipt."

The woman let out a frustrated growl. "I don't have time for this." She stormed out of the store, leaving the box on the counter. I allowed myself a sad sigh as I picked up the box and moved it off the counter, putting on a brand new smile as the next person in the line brought up their stuff. "Good afternoon, did you find everything you were looking for?"

~ ~ ~

By the end of my shift, I was exhausted. I wanted to call someone for a ride home, but my phone had died, so I had to walk. To make matters worse, I saw a cat that had been hit by a car on the side of the road. By that point, I was barely holding back tears, although I kept telling myself to stay cheerful, which only made it harder. I decided that I'd have a few cookies to cheer myself up when I got home.

I walked through the door, and saw Logan and Thomas sitting on the couch, watching the news. Obviously, it was all bad news. Logan turned off the TV as they both turned to me. "Bad day?" I must have looked pretty upset, because I never told Thomas about what my emotions do, but something must have prompted him to ask that. I just shrugged. I didn't want to talk about it, because I felt like I'd break down in tears if I did. I walked past them wordlessly and went into my room to change out of my work clothes. When I walked back out, I was determined to improve my mood, so I put on a smile and went to get that cookie, but I opened the cookie jar to find that it was empty. "When did we finish the cookies?" I asked to anyone who was listening. Thomas spoke up from the living room. "I'm pretty sure Lauren finished them with Roman and Virgil." I wanted to be upset about this, but I was determined to stay positive.

It's okay Patton, you can just make some more. That should be fun, that should make you happy.

I began taking out ingredients, but it turned out we were out of a flour, sugar, and eggs. That was definitely a disappointment. I told myself I'd be able to get through it anyway.

After that, though, was when I completely lost composure. Elliott walked out of their room, their shoulders hanging as they sat down next to Thomas on the couch. Logan looked up from where he was reading on the other end of the couch. "Mitchell left another message today." I overheard them saying. My heart broke in sympathy for my parent, and I quickly walked out of the kitchen and into my room, barely even trying to hold back tears anymore.

As soon as I was alone in my room, I collapsed to the floor, letting out all the sobbing my day had been leading up to. I don't know how loud I was being, but after wiping tears from my eyes, I looked up and I was surrounded by my family, all with faces of varying levels of concern and sympathy. Once my crying slowed, Virgil, eho was sitting in front of me, said "Hey, what's wrong?" I lowered my head onto my knees. "Bad day," I muttered, overcome with guilt for how many people I must have gotten hurt today. "Patton," I heard Logan say at my right, "you can't keep getting upset at yourself for being upset." I shook my head. "No, you don't understand," I said.

"I'm pretty sure I do, and Patton," Logan continued, "you're going to have your ups and downs, and it'll be less... disastrous if you just let the bad days be just a little bad. The world can take a little bit of misfortune, believe me."

I looked up at him, confused. "Are you saying you-"

"Yes Patton, and for your information I regularly keep up on the news so I can tell how your feeling. And yes," Logan continued, "everyone else knows too."

"Oh." I looked around at everyone, unsure of how I never found out.

"So why don't you just tell us what's going on today?" Virgil asked, scooting over to sit next to me. I shrugged, not really sure when exactly my day started going terribly. "Well on the way to work I bumped into this guy, which I really didn't mind that much, but after that I found out my friend got fired," I then just started stating everything that happened that day. I didn't mean to, really, I just started talking and then I couldn't stop myself. Once I was finished, Roman gave me a thoughtful look. "What did the guy on the street look like?" I blinked at him, confused as to why he was questioning that. "Well, he had blue eyes, and really messy green hair."

"What was he wearing?"

"I dunno, this big wavy coat?"

"Roman," Logan sighed, "what does this have to do with anything?" Roman didn't answer, despite everyone beong equally confused. He just stood up, muttered something about "Marvin" and walked out. "I have a hunch about something, I'll be back, hopefully with good news." Thomas sighed and shook his head after Roman left the house. "That boy, honestly. Anyway, how about me and Elliott go get those ingredients you were needing? You can just stay here and relax."

"No!" I said, a little too frantically. "I-it's just," I mumbled, "you could get hurt."

"It's fine," Logan said. "Camden's got an eye on the TV, and things are improving. They should be able to get there and back safely." Camden was the name Logan gave his familiar. I slowly nodded, and Virgil stood up and grabbed my hand. "All right, now you come here and watch some TV." I stood up and followed him as he led me to the couch, Logan, Kai, and Lauren following behind while Thomas and Elliott got ready to go to the store. Me and Virgil sat next to each other on the couch, Logan sitting a small distance away while Kai and Lauren sat near us.

After a while of watching Steven Universe, Roman burst back through the door. "Patton, you will have to worry about this misfortune no longer!"

"O-okay. Um, what did you do?" I asked.

"Well that person you bumped into, I'm actually acquainted to him. He calls himself Marvin the Magnificent. He claims to be a magician, but for as long as I knew him he couldn't do any actual magic. Turns out he got magic powers through a deal with a demon or something, and he had to agree to curse you with misfortune." He sat down on my other side, so now I had one sibling at both of my sides. "I talked him into releasing the curse," he said, probably more casually than what the situation would call for.

"Okay, thanks then," I said, despite Roman already being immersed in the show. We continued watching until Thomas and Elliott returned with the baking supplies, then Virgil, Thomas, and Lauren joined me in baking cookies. Once I tasted one of the cookies from out of the oven, I figured that the day wouldn't be as bad as it had been.

#patton sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #cartoon therapy #marvin the magnificent #elliott #kai #lauren #chase brody #stacy brody #missy #pranks #missy and pranks #mitchell #bad writing #writing tag

3 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 6 years

Note

Hi! By canon I mean them both realized that they feel the same way. And I may be wrong, but I don't see it in S12. (Sorry my English, by the way)

Hi… your English is fine! And again, this is really honestly impossible to speculate on for me, because the way *I* see it, they kind of do know it. I mean… they think there’s nothing they can really do about any of it, but they aren’t entirely ignorant of the fact that they’d both literally die for each other, despite both of them only wanting the other to live for them.

I mean, that’s canon. And the way it’s been framed for years is a pinboard frame of romantic tropes.

Technically it’s all still subtext, but that doesn’t mean it’s “imaginary” or whatever. Which gets us into the “subtext is a valid layer of the text that the show itself has textually invited us to examine critically” which opens up the gigantic can of worms about things like authorial intent and acting choices and editing choices and visual narrative… and all the rest of the choices that go into producing the end product we get to watch and interpret.

So for me, I’m waiting for some sort of mutual acknowledgement that they understand the other doesn’t WANT them to act as their guardian, and that they don’t just NEED each other, but they WANT each other. And so far in s13, that’s not just the subtext of the story, but one of the main pillars of the narrative structure itself. Dean’s grief over Cas’s death is textually his primary motivation for everything he’s done and everything he’s felt in the last three episodes.

They’ve clarified the I/we conundrum, separating out how Dean feels compared to how Sam feels as Cas’s “family” and made it impossible for Dean to continue hiding behind that vague admission.

And once again, because people still seem confused about this… META WRITERS AREN’T PSYCHICS! WE ARE NOT TRYING TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! THAT’S SPECULATION. THAT IS NOT META.

And again, because I’ve said it so many times, I HATE SPECULATION!!!!!

I honestly have very little interest in trying to predict what may happen on the show. I find it takes all the fun out of actually watching the show for me.

It also makes it hilarious when I get the whackadoodle anti’s sending me anons like, “You’re delusional for thinking destiel will be canon in s13″ or whatever, because I’m like… “Well, you’re delusional for thinking I’ve ever actually said that…” Because again, I HATE SPECULATION.

(From an academic standpoint, I’ve never read a single argument from an anti that even merited engagement in a debate, because they’re all strawmen or ad hominem attacks, or the most ridiculous sounding “because I said so” sorts of nonsense. Like, sure Jan.)

Reducing all the meta to this “but when will it go canon?!” question is just… missing the entire point of what meta even is. It’s like… we’ve written literally millions upon millions of words about practically every aspect of this show, because that’s the part we find fascinating. And then somehow the tl;dr takeaway of that entire endeavor seems to be “BUT WHEN ARE THEY GONNA KISS?!” And it’s just frustrating.

Sorry, I’m not upset with you. More like this persistent misconception about what the point of meta is in the first place.

As for how I’d *personally enjoy* seeing it go canon? Please see my entire AO3 account. Some people speculate, I write fic where I get to have any ending I want. And I’ve written dozens.

I can’t tell anyone else how to watch the show, how to interpret canon. All I can do is keep writing about how *I* personally see canon unfolding.

Sorry I turned your question into a long and seemingly off-topic ramble, but I am tired. For a defense of my viewpoint on this, please see my whole entire blog (except the cat gifs, I guess. They’re probably not gonna give anyone any insight into how I analyze and view this show. Then again, even Chuck enjoys a good set of cat gifs.)

I analyze this show for fun. I continue watching for fun. Making predictions about whether or not the characters will continue along the arcs that (in all honesty) seem kind of obvious at this point… I mean, I am perfectly willing to give the Magic 8 Ball answer and say “Signs Point To Yes” or whatever, but as to the rest of it? The details of when and how all of it will actually happen on the show? Trying to guess how that will happen is just a pointless waste of time. For *me personally,* trying to do so defeats the entire purpose of even watching the show in the first place. It takes all the fun out of it for me.

Based on my understanding of how stories work, from a lifetime of media consumption and a decade of writing semi-professionally, from knowing hundreds of writers and others in the publishing industry (because that is my background– not television production or screenwriting, but the concepts and storytelling function on the same principles), at best I can make vague guesses based on the sum total of the story to this point, and extrapolate out how those particular narrative trajectories may continue into the future.

NO ONE CAN SAY FOR SURE IF THOSE PROJECTIONS WILL ACTUALLY MANIFEST IN REALITY. Except by continuing to watch the show, watching those narrative and character arcs evolve.

We can read the broad strokes, the major narrative themes, the character development and motivation... and we can make educated guesses about these main themes going forward based on what’s happened so far, because this is how storytelling works. There are basic rules that apply to how a narrative is structured, and we all have a subconscious understanding of it just from having consumed stories our entire lives. We’re not working magic here, we’re just paying attention, because this is just our particular brand of nerdery, you know? We’re like that one jerk in the audience at a magic show who’s figured out how all the tricks work. We can’t guess which specific trick is coming up next, but we probably have a general idea based on the story the magician is trying to tell-- his last three tricks have involved small animals appearing and disappearing, but now he’s taking off his hat... I bet he’s got a rabbit or something hidden in there... And once we see it what he pulls out of the hat, we can explain how and why he did it.

I really hope this makes sense, but I’m so tired of being asked to essentially ruin my own enjoyment of the show in order to pretend like I have some sort of crystal ball, or that I even have an opinion about what will or should happen in canon. It’s just not how I approach the show, or what the point of meta even is.

#the destiel #spn meta meta #ishi ixi #this is how stories work #revenge of the subtext

55 notes · View notes