Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting
and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action
I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.
Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.
Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.
Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!
!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!
I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.
At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.
Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.
Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.
Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.
Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.
They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.
An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.
Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.
Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.
This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.
I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.
Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.
Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.
The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.
To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.
I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.
And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!
Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.
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*heavy breathing* I decided to try to find a workaround for the long covid brain fog tonight.
Aka a new pot pot strain a friend recced to see if it would help me out with this.
It worked.
Do you know how well?
I just came up from a fucking five hour writing spree.
I'd planned to edit TRT's new chapter. And I did for a bit. But it wasn't enough. I had that itch, one that had been rattling around under my skin for months.
I needed to CREATE.
I NEEDED TO WRITE.
So I turned my eyes to the Raven fic's final chapter, where I'd been slowly working on adding the new scenes I wanted and redoing a few to match the new ones.
I didn't just enter the writing zone. I blew that fucking door off its hinges. I saw the scenes in my mind's eye, and I typed the words that came, and even when the words didn't show up, I waved it off, slapped in a placeholder, and blew past it. My hyperfocus latched on like a gator and did fifty thousand death rolls.
I wrote FOUR. POINT. EIGHT. THOUSAND. WORDS.
IN FIVE HOURS.
I may have forgotten to drink or eat anything so that's familiar too
This proves it. Getting TRT's new chapter written, if not edited, proved the words were still there in my head. And THIS proves I can still enter that miracle zone that makes everything worth it oh god i missed the zone. As best I can tell looking over it, this didn't fix my 'what word did I want here???' problem that I continue to struggle with. I still have a lot of placeholder words. But what it did do was remove my frustration, my anxiety, and my long pauses when I couldn't find a word I wanted. It was far easier to just continue on. It also gave me, for just a few hours, the ability to focus, enough that even as it slowly wore off I'd built enough momentum to keep going for a while.
Now I just gotta find a way to get there more regularly like I used to, without the herby nudge. Tomorrow I'll try the same thing though, only with editing instead, now that my itch has been thoroughly scratched.
And if anyone hears triumphant howling tomorrow evening, just know that it is I, Pasta, summoning the words again.
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Hiiii how are you doing love bug? I wanted to request something where farah notices spouse readers anxiety is high while there out at a celebration party thingy after a successful mission and helps them calm down
(Sorry if this is badly explained it’s my first time requesting something + I have adhd🫶🏻🫶🏻)
Hello! Don't worry, I got you! I hope this is what you wanted! I don't particularly know how to calm someone down, I can't even calm myself down usually, so I just swallow it all down until it goes away ^^;
Farah Senses Reader’s Anxiety
She would likely sense your anxiety as soon as she looked at you. Your eyes were wider open than usual, you’ve gone quiet, giving the occasional nod and smile and that’s it. Something was up, Farah knew you well enough by then to be able to tell. Yes, she may have been a highly coveted person at parties like these, but she could always make time for you, even while she was in the middle of a conversation with someone. As soon as you don’t seem to be doing well, don’t seem to be having fun anymore, she’ll take you somewhere quieter so she can talk to you and maybe help you calm down a bit.
Truth be told, Farah won’t particularly know what to do with you. Sure, she gets anxious at times as well, she leads an entire force, after all, but she usually calms herself down by taking a deep breath and sweeping all those negative thoughts under the rug. While it would be ridiculous to assume the same thing would work for you, she tries anyway. She may be good at building connections with other people, but she doesn’t particularly know how to calm someone down from severe anxiety. However, she will take your hands gently in hers, if you allow it, and will talk to you in the most tender tone you’ve ever heard from her. Her voice is audible still, but quieter than usual and she requests that you try to tune out everything else and only listen to her. While she won’t know what to say, she tries, talking about anything that comes to mind. The small lizard she saw on her way to the party, how she once was able to pet a bunny when she was small. Nice things that would take your mind off of the party. You will be leaving it soon enough, naturally, but before then, you need to calm down first.
If her distracting you doesn’t help, then she’ll try to breathe with you, gently asking you to breathe in, hold your breath for a few seconds, before breathing out again. This will be repeated a few times. If that doesn’t work either, then she will try the 54321 method. Granted, she doesn’t exactly know how it works and will mess it up. But who knows, maybe that will get you to laugh. Farah asks you to tell her what you’re seeing, hearing, feeling and so on and tries to crack jokes here and there to maybe get you to smile. Her attempt at distracting you from your anxiety still hasn’t ceased. Talks you through it all. However, if that doesn’t help either, then she’ll ask you what the source of your anxiety may be. If it’s the party then you’ll be going home immediately. Or, at the very least, get away from it as far as you can. If it’s something else then she’ll still try to help you somehow, reassuring you that she’ll do whatever she can to assist you. If it’s alright with you, then, after the party, you’ll go stargazing together. The vastness of the universe has always helped her calm down, and maybe she can tell you some stories she’s heard about the different constellations as well. Either way, she’ll be taking care of you as well as she can during the evening, until you calm down. And then you’ll be cuddling the night away, if you’re calm enough to want to be touched. Farah will hold you to her chest, hum a little lullaby and run her fingers through your hair.
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