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amazingphilza · 3 years

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DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

#bee for dream smp 2021 /j #dsmp headcanon #dream smp oc #dreamsmp headcanon #dsmp hc #mcyt x oc #dsmp x oc

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burglarbagginsbag · 3 years

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Alright so I have this fic idea which I’m probably not going to write out bc I’m not fluent in English BUT my idea that i had for a bamf!Bilbo bagginshield fic:

Everyones already seen it and probably read it but Bilbo is a bamf (AU)

Important background information: Bilbo is like half dwarf (regarding strength, life expectancy, etc) but still has the appearance of a hobbit which is why (even though he has been out on adventures already) he was able to settle down in the shire and blend in with the mass without any problems

So when Gandalf goes to bag end to recrute Bilbo as a burglar Bilbo recognizes him immediately bc they’ve been on adventures together before (and yes bilbo is happy to see gandalf bc im a sucker for bilbo and gandalf being friends)

And Gandalf is like “ok you see theres this dwarf king and his 12 ppl who need to reclaim their homeland and i dont want them to get themselves killed by accident so could you go with them?”

and bilbo is like “i actually have enough gold i dont rly need a new job but it sounds kinda fun, bring them over for dinner and then tell me more”

So Gandalf is satisfied and tells thorin and his company that they are expected for dinner

When Bilbo prepares for the evening he watches out that some of his curls cover his eyes and a part of his face and puts on baggy clothes so his stature isnt revealed bc no one outside the shire really knows what bilbo looks like - they only heard stories about him and bilbo wants to keep it this way

Dwalin arrives and is like “at your service” and Bilbo is actually polite and everything, shows him the dining room and welcomes dwalin and dwalin is like “??? isnt this a hobbit shouldnt he be kinda freaked out? ok guess gandalf was right when he said that this dud is chill”

and so bilbo welcomes all the dwarfes (except thorin of course bc this dwarf lost his way twice) and they are all a bit surprised by the hospitality but dont complain

So movie verse they eat and throw food and all and even though bilbo is not pleased he doesnt say anything but observes his guests, cocks an eyebrow at gandalf from time to time while gandalf shoots him half amused half apologetical smiles

And then thorin knocks, everyones going silent again and gandalf says “he’s here”

And Bilbo opens the door by himself looks at the dwarf while thorin just enters not even looking at bilbo but greeting gandalf and you see in gandalf’s face that he is half panicking about what bilbo will say but bilbo just snorts amused and goes back to the dining room

gandalf follows him so the rest of the company follows gandalf and bilbo just shoots a look at the wizard like “are you serious you said dwarfs are coming here not unpolite and ungracefull beings without manners”

Gandalf tries to cough the awkwardness away “ALRIGHT, now that we’re all here we shall discuss the plan!!”

And Thorin just doesn’t get it, he doesnt get why gandalf seems so nervous around the hobbit whose name he doesnt even know (he leans into Balin and asks for the hobbits name out of pure interest but balin just shrugs realizing that the hobbit hasnt given away his name to anyone)

So now they entered the hobbit hole, ate bilbos food and dont even know what he completely looks like or what his name is

Gandalf repeats the plan mostly for bilbo so he knows whats going on and after the wizard is done bilbo hears a “thats what we need a burglar for!”

And gandalf looks so done bc he looks at bilbo and bilbo just snorts and smirks because all his life and after all he has done he has never been called a simple “burglar”

Bilbos occupation is the following: his mother was still belladonna and a took and his father was like mentioned above a dwarf, so while both of them died they still taught him a lot. His father showed him how to fight in general and with a sicklesword and how to throw knives. Training was never a problem for bilbo because (half dwarf) he has a lot of potential strength. His mother taught him about stealth and plants especially poisonous ones so soon bilbo was not only able to fight but to make mixtures of poisons and still being as quiet as only a hobbit can be

Bilbo’s father was a warrior and had to go on a mission but he knew that the enemy had information and that by just “kiling them off” the information would be lost. Having trained his son for many years and knowing that bilbo can be completely silent and probably deadly if desired he decides to take bilbo with him, bilbos mission is to knock someone out with a throwing knife to the shoulder which is covered in narcotics

Bilbo does an excellent job and his father is impressed and is like “i know you’ve never seen anything like this, youve never killed we only trained but i think you would be ready to fight by my side after we got our information out of this dude”

And Bilbo is both really good at fighting and at getting information out of the dude (I imagine him using some non toxic but pain bringing mixtures)

Bilbo and his father return home safely and Bilbo finds himself both guilty and thrilled bc he just killed like A TON of people with his father but at the same time it was exciting and he has this itch in his fingertips to do it again

After some years both of his parents die and not being able to stay in the Shire due to the memories bilbo travels through middle earth, hides his identity and then he hears someone in a pub talking about “killing someone for the better and how he would give a ton of gold to the person who could take out his target” and bilbo is like “oh” and goes out, satisfies the itch in his fingers, kills the person and demands his gold

The news spread like fire and everytime rumors come up about someone that should be killed for a good purpose bilbo will investigate, see if the person should really be killed, and if so will take the person out and demand his gold

Back to present events Thorin is like “do you think this is funny, hobbit? do you think the legacy of my kin is something you are allowed to laugh about? what do we need a hobbit for anyway?”

And Bilbo just pats his shoulder takes the contract that Gandalf held in his hands without saying anything and starts reading it

after he is done everyone looks at him not sure if they should be impressed or unnerved by this hobbit who seems to think so highly of himself that he can disrespect the king

but before anyone could say anything bilbo has signed the contract while looking at thorin from under the curls that covers his eyes giving him a smug smile and you just see that thorin is “this” close to snapping

Bilbo asks when they depart and gandalf says that they will leave by break of day

Thorin considers leaving earlier so they dont have to take the hobbit with them but doesnt say anything

Next day the dwarfs expect bilbo to have a ton of bags with him and that he would be in disadvantageous robes for traveling and they could laugh about him

But the sight they are greeted with is just? (I actually have some concepts in my head for Bilbos outfit but i dont rly know if anyone wants to see them BUT)

Bilbo is wearing of course no shoes but he is wearing long trousers with leather armor around his shins and knees, flexible but still protecting him; he wears a thin chainmail and over that a normal shirt, his arms are protected by thin leather which still looks resilient; a dark cloak which is secured with a clip around his neck; starting by his collar bones down to his navel in a “v” shape are all in all 12 throwing knives attatched in holsters and a sickle sword hangs at each of his sides; his hair which reaches his shoulders is tied up in a simple bun and in front of his face there is a short veil so that only his lips are visible; sewn onto his belt he has like 20 little bottles with different mixtures and poisons and he carries one simple backpack

and the dwarfs are like??? armor??? which looks??? high quality??? weapons??? on this hobbit??????

and they turn to gandalf and gandalf just tries to suppress a laugh at the surprised faces bc he just knew that out of sulkiness bilbo would not even try to hide any of his weapons but present them to the dwarfs

and like this basically the movie verse story would be retold

and it would be a bagginshield fic - oh my god it would be a bagginshield fic

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #my stuff

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coramvobis · 3 years

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Imagine an South Korea!AU where Seo Dan and Seri are both chaebols... (part 1 because this is getting out of hand)

Obvs, Seri and Jeong Hyeok are married already bc this STORY IS ABOUT DAN AND HER HAPPINESS SO TAKE A BACK SEAT BINJIN.

Jeong Hyeok, pianist, whatever. Sickeningly in love with Seri. Seri is basically the same as CLOY, just got the man AND IS BEST FRIENDS WITH DAN EVEN THO DAN WOULD NEVER SAY IT OUT LOUD

My boy Seung Joon, a poor boy who’s living in a shitty small ass closet of an apartment. He’s just gotten fired from his job bc he prob gives out free shit or something to old ladies and loses profit or whatever that he did as a job

Now Dan is obvs CEO of you guessed it, her moms cosmetic department store but imagine it’s like a chain now and it’s big and international. That’s prob how she met Seri, two strong women in the business. Instead of competing they got together and TAKE DOWN ANY MAN WHO THINKS THEY CAN WALK OVER THEM

So Dan, workaholic, doesn’t take care of herself very well bc she wanna make her moms company the best she can. Doesn’t date v often and so her mom is like dan u need to go out more!!! You can’t just hole up in your office everyday, you’re at the perfect age for marriage and kids!!

Dan, not having it, bc single is the new trend right? (IM CRYING) basically brushes her mom off n was like I don’t need that kind of burden right now and was like I don’t have time to cater to a mans ego where they want to be the alpha and like her to be a docile housewife. And listed all the things that she doesn’t wanna deal with when being with a guy.

Mom, I swear she’s my fave, like second to seo dan. Mom being the smart ass bitch that she is, went and posted an ad, like discreetly Ofc, looking for a stay at home husband. And proceed to like list all the requirements.

Guess what. seung joon saw the ad and was like this sounds fun and totally replied to the ad. Not knowing it’s for like a fucking millionaire or whatever.

Comes the day of interview, mom went thru all the candidates, some were plain ugly (dan has taste and she doesn’t want her grand babies to b ugly), some were creepy (like srsly), and some just outright lied on their app and did NOT in fact want to be a stay at home husband but wants to “fix” her daughter.

So this is where our boy seung Joon comes in right. With his charming suave self and a killer smile, charmed the pants off mom and landed himself a trial period of 6 months.

U might be wondering. After mom set it all up, she went to see Dan and told her the good news. Dan was HELLLLAAA PISSED Ofc and was like MOM WTF DID U DO. Moms like I found u a suitable candidate! And bc nobody can out argue her mom, dan is like ok fine, I’ll try it for 6 months but if it doesn’t work out u can’t interfere in my personal life ever again. Mom Ofc agreed bc mom knows everything.

So fastforward.

Seung Joon is literally the perfect stay at home husband(fiancé???). He realized this is literally his dream life. He gets to live with a gorgeous woman and take care of her and don’t have to work????

Every day seung joon would cook her breakfast (which dan is like ??? Bc her breakfast was a cup of coffee), prepare her lunch with like a cute lil note about how he hopes her day is going well, or not to forget to take a break, or something cheesy n cute ok. Like it just shows he cares. When dan comes home he’d have dinner ready and he would b like the devoted husband and ask about her day n everything (Ofc at the beginning she’s prob like only replying with one word or two, then slowly she starts to say a little more when she realized he actually wanna hear about her day.) when dan stays late at the office, he would bring dinner to her and stay just enough to watch her finish dinner. Then one day he just shows up to pick her up from work BY WAITING OUTSIDE HER BUILDING UNTIL SHE COMES OUT. And so after that dan just sends him a txt when she’s about to leave so he doesn’t have to sit and wait. And SEUNG JOON BECAME HER DRIVER TOO. They just spend a lot of time together ok. Whenever Dan isn’t working, he tries to be with her. Bc he’s in love.

Lbr seung joon fell in love with her like at first sight ok. He just wants to know everything about her and wants to care for her and just make sure she knows she’s not alone and she can rely on him too bc he’s there for her and her only. He wants to be the person that she depends on, the person she shares her thought and emotions with. He wants to make her happy.

So they ended up with a routine of sorts. They started texting each other throughout the day (ok seung joon txts her and she just subconsciously smiles at it bc it’s always something stupid or flirty or just something so very seung joon, but she secretly like it even tho she doesn’t know why)

Seung joon takes her on spontaneous little dates when she’s free. He makes sure she’s having fun, he tried to teach her how to make food once and it ended terribly but it was hilarious and they were LAUGHING AND JUST CUTE.

I can’t.

Six month mark coming up right. Seung joon knew already like two months in or something when dan started warming up to him that he wants this. He wants this for as long as he can. He wants to marry her bc she’s amazing and literally a goddess. She’s exactly his type (TEARS R STREAMIMG DOWN MY FACE) so he used the little savings he’s got and went and bought this cute ring right. Not the biggest diamond. It’s nothing flashy but pretty. It’s pretty and sophisticated and it reminds him of dan. So he’s got it all planned right.

On the last day of the 6 months period, Seung joon made like this romantic ass dinner for dan. Decorated the place and all. Made it look a+. They had a rly nice time n they were so comfortable (dan even laughed at one of his jokes and he felt like he was on top of the world). The night was winding down. Seung joon was getting nervous but Dan’s fave song came on and it was Time.

So he reached for Dan’s hand and started his whole speech (you know the one. The one on the bridge where we all just died a little bc damn that’s cute) and at the end, he kneel in front of her with the ring between his thumb and forefinger. AND ASKED IF SHE WILL HAVR HIM AS HER HUSBAND BC HE WANTS TO SPEND HIS LIFE MAKIMG HER AS HAPPY AS SHE MAKES HIM.

Dan, not knowing that Seung joon was actually going to do this, was SHOOK. She thought they both knew it wasn’t gonna be like a Marriage thing after the 6 months but here he is. On one knee. Looking at her with those soft eyes.

She wrapped her hand over the ring and Seung joons hand and frowned. Ofc. Seung joon knew what that meant but a little bit of him still HOPED LIKE I HOPED THEY WOULDNT KILL HIM and dan said no. She can’t marry him. She was sorry but he’s like don’t apologise right. Bc even tho he’s like dead ass heart broken, he doesn’t wanna hear her apologise to him about this. So he got up, put the ring back into his pocket, and started cleaning up the dinner table like nothing happened. He told Dan to go rest n shower like it was just another regular night with them.

Ofc. The next day, Seung joon is GONE GONE GONE. he left a little card that says thank you on it but nothing else. All of his things r gone.

Dan’s mom called n was like SO HOW DID IT GO. And dan just tells her that Seung joon is gone. He proposed and she said no. And he left.

AND SCENE. tbc

#crash landing on you #seo dan #gu seung joon #gu seung jun #I literally don’t have time to write a fic but #fuck #the feels caught me off guard again #I’ll never be over how dirty they did to my girl seo dan #she deserves the world #and in my world seri n dan r bffs and not fighting over a boy #chicks b4 dicks #shit I wrote

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catnippackets · 4 years

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have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings #Anonymous #ask #this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now

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ssj4 · 5 years

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Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess.

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else”

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance!

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work.

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now.

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au!

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !!

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about!

#future goten au #goten #trunks #truten #i GUESS. im shy #long post #made an edit cause i rewatched the android saga a few days ago and i forgot trunks fucking died lol #tumblr stop deleting my tags challenge

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staysuki · 3 years

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btw softukiyos really doesnt have a masterlist, i think shes fixing the links or smth. you can find her other stories on the tags tho ! https://softukiyos.tumblr.com/post/661861264424943616 -> heres the link to the story i recommended hehe

hala baka ikaw nga ang tunay na mrs. hwang 😏 you felt that pic? 👀👀👀👀 me too lol believe me, the longer you watch the show, the more irritating she becomes. AND THE KID MATE. the handsome kid who took off his mask cuz he was threatened to be stabbed. he got shot tho, died nevertheless :"> uhh they are selling organs, its not rly a spoiler so dw abt it. it was just a side story that didnt even got explained LMAO its fun reading your predictions hehe but i dont want to say much, im scared i ll accidentally spoil you. still, i feel like some kind of god that know what happens while you re out here guessing XD

MOVING ON, YHMs new ch ! seungmin really is smooth, damn. inviting a girl immediately to his home but what he actually really wants is for his idol to come in 👀 seungmins really taking advantage of all the benefits he can get for keeping a stranger's, who surprisingly has many connections to famous artists, phone at gun point. HHAHAHAHAHA same vibes. crush > literally anything that needs to be prioritized.

i did not do anything today, just laid down and thought abt what to do with life but the chapters you posted still recharged me. i love the updates aaaaaaa you could already tell by how long this ask is but being straightforward is cool 😎 thank you ehhe

except maybe like at 12 am. omg remembering it still stresses me wat da fuq. i read a horror fic at that time and it was so good that i sent a long ass review full of love and me just saying "it scared me shitless" a bunch of times. i did it in phone and i stated before that the app lags sm. it was abt as long as my previous ask. anyways i pressed ask and the words something went wrong with your ask showed up. i started typing it out at 1 am and i literaly finished at 2:30. BELIEVE me, even when sending you asks, i usually take an hour at least. i need to organize my thoughts so much. SMH >:( uGH i kenat. anyways lol i just did it again, it wasnt really that bad LMAO

hows ur day btw 😎

- bs

ohh, that’s sad, i’ll wait for it then, or look thru the tags 👀. and yeah! i’ve read that one already, personally not a big fan of non-contemporary aus but her works are great :,))).

BYE. and i see, THAT kid, i already forgot him but yeah, i do feel really bad :((( he did not deserve that, so sad. makes me wonder about the people who works there though and why they seem so emotionless, i wonder if it’ll get explained. are any of my predictions true 💀 i’m still wondering about that but hngghhh i should finish the series na.

i love seungmin’s smau 😭 there’s so many on queue na and i’m currently writing the written chapter. as i wrote for it, i realized that it’s probably not going to be a long fic, i feel like with the story revolving around six people, there really isn’t much arcs to go on and i think i’d focus on the main boy na anywho. it’ll probably be a linear development with two to three arcs at most, not like jyp-u where there’s so many things happening all at once.

and thank you, i’m glad you enjoyed the fics 😭🤧 i’ve loved writing them too especially since i’m currently in another motivational streak uwu. i’m even already excited to plan out hyunjin’s smau (wow i just love smaus). and yes, i love receiving your asks no matter how long 👩‍💻.

and yes, the app is so buggy, i hate it 😭. but i enjoy reading your asks even though they’re incoherent sometimes JSHWJSHWS JKJK, i love it.

my day went great! i’ve been in a productive streak this week so i spent today being all 😴😴😴 bc i deserve it. mostly just writing fics too honestly.

#anon: bub stop.

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ten-shika · 6 years

Text

aaaa ty tysm for the interest! and I’m sorry to say that there won’t be any new updates anytime soon since idk what to do with myself and this au AHAHA //shot

I love the idea that even though deku is a villain, i try to make sure his cinnamon bun side is still there cause that’s what makes him deku XD i guess he’s basically a vigilante?? and regarding how it influences bakugou, it wouldn’t be that much of a difference, besides the fact that bakugou can literally blow his ass off now that there’s a legitimate reason to do so pffft

i think deku and stain would definitely have a mutual understanding, but at the same time, deku wouldn’t kill. that’s something i wanna make sure deku doesnt do but as the story goes further, he’s going to have to kill because that’s the consequences he’s gotta face from where he’s standing. it’s not like killing with his own hands, more like how his mum went with suicide, ranges rly idk haha thats why he’s always the mastermind behind plans, he makes sure he’s not the one that does the killing pffft doin that he wont feel at fault i guess

THANK KYU T A T since this happened mostly in the beginning, it was before he could get into UA, it wouldn’t affect much of the students as strongly compared to bakugou and todoroki(i made todoroki meet deku way before) because he never met them.

stain arc would be v weird cause idk if i wanna approach it where he follows stain’s route or stay with the villain league. i’m sure i wont progress my villain au to that point so its whatever lol

i also realized he DID save a lot of people, but it’s only because deku is delusional and believes he’s his own hero, but he’s doin it the wrong way. if i think about it more, it would lead more to the bnha illegals manga honestly haha but i wanted deku to be a villain so it was hard on how i want to approach this. THUS the discontinuing of the au................. sry bout that, im an artist, not a writer XD

yup! i mean if you think about it, all might wasnt able to save shigaraki, thus leads to the result of how shigaraki is now, along with other reasons. while for deku, all might felt he wasnt able to become a hero, so all might IS the main reason for both of their resolve. and thats the point for this. all might cant cause yea angst and it would be interesting if it went that way LMAO

yea that’s what i was aiming to do pfffft i can totally see deku using that quirk for that. then again, that is literally going to get so chaotic, poor all might man XDDD

but at the same time, deku wants to prove that ppl can be a hero, even without a quirk so when he suddenly gain that quirk, it rly confuses him and what he wants to do with it after.

AWAWAW TY TY AAAA IM-- //gross sobs

UH YES??? WHAT I TOTALLY WOULD LOVE TO HAPPEN CAUSE MY GAWD THE KATSUDEKU WOULD KILL ME //nosebleedsssss u have litrally made a mess out of me with thisssss and dun wry about it, i can totally understand you perfectly!!! this is great!! good stuffff

#THIS IS SO LATE I KNOW #akuma talks #villain au #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #deku #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #stain #shigaraki tomura #all might #todoroki shouto

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adhd-ahamilton · 7 years

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Joy To The World, 1, 4 and 5!

Hoo boy, so many questions!!! I hope you’re prepared for the deluge that’s gonna result...~ I’ll answer these tonight and finish the ones in the other messages tomorrow morning!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So. Over the last five or so years I’ve been writing fic, in all but the second year, I’ve written a special Christmas-related fic for Christmas. (And I did two the first year, so.) Christmas is a really important holiday to me and I really love Christmas-related stuff (the cheesier and sillier the better), so it became kind of a tradition. But this year, I was at a little bit of a loss. I knew I wanted to write Lams, because that’s my big thing right now. But how would I write Christmas Lams? Did they even properly ‘celebrate’ Christmas during that time period?? Or should I just go for an AU?

I researched it, and thankfully it turns out that the 18th century is around when people did start to celebrate Christmas in the modern sense (and it’s also when carols really started to come about, which is great because per tradition all my Christmas fic are titled after a carol), but that was just the beginning of the issue. When exactly would it be set? Valley Forge? But, uh... I highly doubted they would be really doing all that much at that point. But I couldn’t really think of any time outside of Lams AU that they’d be together. (And then I found out afterwards that Ham wasn’t even there for Christmas 1777, so, welp.) And I really couldn’t think of any kind of actual plot. I could have done a kind of meditation on their relationships to religion, but I didn’t know that much about which specific form of Christianity they belonged to, and I thought it was something that could be and HAD been done much better by other people. (Plus that’s not really my fave kind of fic to write to begin with.)

So, it wasn’t really working out that well. But still, I really kept trying. Through November, my working plan became almost set in stone: I’d do a combined historical and modern AU fic, switching back and forth between scenes, comparing themes (supply lists in VF compared with finding money for food over Christmas break in modern AU), sorta casually looking at the differences. When I gave it up, it was partly out of lack of interest in the themes, but my conscious reason was ‘I just don’t really care about modern AU Lams.’

...which came to the crux of the problem all along: I’m not really an AU person. Or rather, I’m very not an AU person. I’ve written very few AUs in my time, and almost all of them were historical AUs - certainly not modern day ones, and definitely not school AUs. I don’t have any, like, moral opposition - I can fully appreciate the transformative potential of full-setting AUs and find very interesting the interdependent communities that develop around AU-heavy fandoms as they essentially create their own accepted canons - but I just...don’t tend to like them. I’m very analytical!! The idea of just...MAKING UP not just one character or setting but basically a whole story just always seemed simultaneously too easy and too hard to me!!! Plus, I like to write really interesting and unusual things and try new styles, and one of the most basic points of interests for me in writing is asking what makes these characters and relationships unique, based on their precise personalities and backstories and combinations of traits. None of that lends well to full-setting AUs.

But. As I was mulling this terrible problem over, as usual, I was also running over in my head all kinds of various different characterisation ideas. This time, I was thinking about how it was interesting that Hamilton always seemed to be written in opposition to Henry Laurens, when IRL it seems they had a pretty decent acquaintanceship. And I was thinking about it, and I really started to think that, actually, someone in Hamilton’s point of view - who was constantly abandoned by his father, and desperate for his attention, and incredibly ambitious despite the circumstances of his birth - would be one of the WORST people to understand that an overly-controlling, overly-interested father who expects extremely highly of his son could be a negative influence. Which also added to another thought I’d been having. I always liked one quote from Chernow, that Laurens must have seen in Hamilton what a man who makes himself can do, and it always made me think that Hamilton must have been the same way - that he must have seen in Laurens the man he had always aimed to be. So, Laurens grew up in a good family, acknowledged and promoted by said family, with plenty of money and a great deal of opportunity. To Hamilton... yeah, it’d definitely be hard for him to see the problems with that. (And, you know, there IS a lot of privilege there!! It’s just, y’know, that mental illness doesn’t always listen to that.) But, those thoughts were kinda moot, because I really couldn’t think of any way to contrast these different experiences with fathers in historical verse.

And that’s when it came to me. What if I did a modern AU where Hamilton came down to visit the Laurens family for Christmas?

I didn’t have the time (or, really, the interest) to develop a full-on world for everyone, and a uni AU just seemed to be the most appropriate for this one, anyway. And it also did have a bit of appeal: it always kinda bugged me that in the AUs I read, Hamilton and Laurens never seemed to be studying law, even though that’s historically what they did do. As a law grad, I figured I might as well be the one to write it. (Though law in Australia is p different from in the US - there’s no separate law school, we just study it straight out of high school like anything else - but whatever.) And once I was doing THAT, it was hard for me to escape the fact that, in the real world, studying law hadn’t...exactly always been the best experience for me. Given that Laurens didn’t really want to study it either, it seemed appropriate to lean on those experiences a bit.

Aaand that’s where we really get to the meat of the inspiration behind it, heh. Which is to say: this is possibly the most autobiographical thing I’ve ever written...? I’ll say outright that a lot of it WAS entirely invented - my relationship with my family is nothing like John’s was in this, at all. But my anxieties over studying, and my worries about the future and what a career in law would lead to... yeah, that came from me haha. Because, to get kind of personal about it... well, I graduated July 2015. And in the time since then, I have been employed for about 2.5? months, total. The job scene here, in general and especially for law grads, is just that bad. (And, uh, there was a fair bit of personal fault in my lack of preparation for after I’d graduate? But, seriously, I was really anxious already...) And ever since then - particularly 2016 to the present - I’ve also had a lot of anxiety and depression and stuff going on. At the time I wrote the fic, it was in a position of leaning worse rather than better. So...I honestly don’t know if there was ever, like, a dispassionate fic in there safely cordoned off from my own projections, but if there was, it didn’t last long.

So, I got the idea, and wrote it all up pretty quickly in early December, just kinda ridin’ that catharsis of getting all that stuff out. (And it turned out to be even more relevant than I thought, as ‘trying to enjoy Christmas like you usually do when you’re really not happy’ also ended up a very autobiographical theme.) And that’s how it happened!

As for one or two other things:

I really really didn’t wanna get too into politics in the fic lmao. I don’t feel comfortable with more than the broadest strokes of Hamilton’s beliefs (I’m gonna GET THERE but Im still well rev-verse in Chernow) and I always feel uncomfortable about portraying historical figure in any better light than they deserve when it comes to specific matters. But I also wanted to have Laurens and Hamilton at least as POC because I also think it’s important to increase racial diversity in fanfic in the rare cases that we really get a clear choice. So, I tried to kinda portray that without really getting detailed about any activist stuff or whatever. Which is why in Ham’s argument with Henry he’s really not siding with anyone, he’s just an economics wonk who gets mad when people on both sides of the political aisle don’t make sure their numbers add up, lol. That was my best compromise. (And Philly kinda nudged me when I still got too far off-course;; haha!)

Hamilton has ADHD because: again, I wanted to actually officially write up neurodivergent characters into fic when I had the option of being specific (my Ham is always neurodivergent but obv I can’t explicitly write that into the text of historical verse), and it’s ADHD because......well, I could write a really long thing about that alone lmfao. And I feel like I kind of should in some ways because I know that a lot of people aren’t rly familiar with how ADHD tends to actually, like, feel, for real-life people, and if you aren’t then I KNOW this must sound like a really arbitrary or misguided HC. And I’d really love to write it up and expand education and all, but. It’s also something that hits really close and personal for me and, as someone who can be anxious for days straight over opening entirely innocuous tumblr messages... I just DK I could do it, atm;;;;; Someday I will though, I hope!!! (Tho I will say that I’m totally for all neurodivergent Ham HCs and that honestly my Classic Ham is also influenced by BD and BPD things so I’m p flexible about it.) (Actually I guess I CAN say that my HCs for Ham all involve disorders with extreme moods and mood swings and stuff and ADHD in its lesser known symptoms can absolutely include that, esp with Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, so yeah. That’s basically the large part of my reason for that headcanon right there lol.)

4. What's your favorite line of dialogue?

HM OH MAN, I’m not sure!!! Lemme skim it again real quick.

In terms of sheer characterisation efficiency, I always liked the idea of Henry Laurens’ introductory sentence being to complain about John not calling often enough. It’s just such a perfect combination of a) genuinely cares about his son and wants to hear from him, and b) is an asshole who has no idea whatsoever of the pressure he’s putting on his son without offering any concurrent praise or reassurance.

...so yeah I think I’ll leave it at that actually, since this thing is long enough already lol.

5. What part was hardest to write?

I was sitting here trying hard to remember if I really had trouble writing any part of the draft because there was one bit where I stalled briefly but it wasn’t really that bad and I couldn’t even really remember it and apart from that it was super smooth...until I remembered that editing counts as writing. And hoo fucking boy.

I was lucky enough to be able to have my fic beta-ed by Philly! Which I’m super grateful for and the fic is undoubtedly better for it! But it was a really difficult process for me because of my anxiety. And I needed to do it rather quickly, because of course I had to have it finished before Christmas, and my family actually was going away for Christmas where we wouldn’t have internet access.

So I get through almost all of the fic. It’s finally almost done. And then right at the end there’s a bit where Alex and John quickly exchange gifts on Christmas morning. Super short scene. And Philly pointed out that, actually, wouldn’t the rest of the family be taken-aback at them exchanging gifts without them?

And I kind of read that and sat back and. that was right. That was 100% correct. So like. What do I do??? Do I involve the other characters? But the original scene was like, three lines. and I don’t wanna have to write a whole new scene lmao. Do I take it out? But in a earlier scene, I’d had John express a worry that the present he’d gotten for Alex was awful and he really regretted it, and I kinda liked that in this final scene we see that actually he’d just forgotten WHY he’d bought it (he’d remembered Alex saying something about it), and I thought that was a nice thing about how anxiety can really fuck with even your memory and stuff bc in the end there genuinely was no reason to worry. It wasn’t necessary to the fic, but it only came about in the writing - I’m pretty sure the outline was just like ‘and then they exchange gifts or somethign??? IDK’ - and I didn’t want to get rid of it again. But then how do I justify them exchanging gifts alone???

And so that’s how I ended up just sitting there mournfully or pacing back and forth like p LEASE just SAVE ME, just GIVE ME AN OPTION, I have a HOLIDAY TO PACK FOR and THINGS TO DO and I just want this damn fic to be EDITED and DONE ALREADY. I came up with soo many possibilities, none of which satisfied me,lmao. and eventually after wayyyyyy too long of trying to figure it out I settled on something that seemed mostly plausible and then just. wrote it in and skimmed the rest of the fic and posted it lmao.

Which, honestly, is pretty typical proceedings. I tend to have the general ideas come pretty easily to me, and the actual writing is normally pretty smooth - it’s usually the editing where I start rocking back and forth and cursing myself for ever trying to write :’) (Luckily, at that point I’m close enough to the end that I can usually force it through...!!)

#elysianmars #long post #my fanfiction #I...think about things... a lot..............#I got a lot to say okay................................

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