#I just discoveries the tracked section. why the fuck am I like this
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I just discovered a "track mod" feature on nexus. 👁️👁️ HOW MUCH IT TOOK ME?? a month??????? GODS.
#I'm so stupid even I'm shocked by how fucking absolutely dumb I am#....#I was just checking download history & last updated filter 😭#I just discoveries the tracked section. why the fuck am I like this#nonsims#delete later#olya's rambles
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tuesday again 4/12/22
limping, hobbling, stumbling blearily into spring. two screencaps from killing eve in the watching section, so if you want to go into that show completely blind don’t read this post.
listening Macross 82-99′s Grandlife, Highlife (w-Rollergirl) off the album A Million Miles Away. this album on loop and this song in particular got me through a particularly bleak workday on uhhhh thursday
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i do love a nice chunky background bass. this is video game music adjacent, future funk maybe? very jet set radio, very space channel 5. it’s a groovy little instrumental track that’s not technically dance music but you can bop along to.
how did i find this: i think if you’re just Around on the internet you’ve probably heard [ 82.99 F.M ] , which i could have sworn was a previous tuesdaysong, maybe from that weird unarchived period in 2019 when i was still figuring out what these posts were and didn’t have a running spotify playlist. much to consider
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reading fallow week, so here are three articles i’m thinking about
interview? article about? a franciscan monk who is the ethical advisor to the pope about artificial intelligence
can you bury your gay darlings?
solidarity to all striking etsy sellers
watching not to be an old lady but i am fucking Despondent about how my two bbc shows of choice (killing eve and peaky blinders) have ended.
for peaky blinders,
jnf nysvr shpxvat gurer ng nyy be jnf vg n unyyhpvangvba??? v pnaabg shpxvat ORYVRIR gung NYSVR jnf gur crefba gbzzl tbg pybfrfg gb gryyvat nobhg gur oenva ghzbe gung jnfa'g n oenva ghzbe??? NYFB URL! FUBJ! LBH ARRQRQ GB QEBC GUNG VASB GUNG ZNLOR GUR QBP JNF N SNFPVFG FYVTUGYL ORSBER *GUR YNFG SVIR ZVAHGRF BS GUR YNFG RCVFBQR*!!!! guvf qvq abg srry rnearq naq znqr zr srry natel naq orjvyqrerq zbfgyl. jung n jnl gb shpxvat fghzoyr naq gevc bire lbhe raqvat ng gur ynfg cbffvoyr frpbaq.
for killing eve, i’m just. well. that was a television show. this bit was darling tho
playing okay so you know how some people (not me) meal prep? i have realized that knowing ahead of time what i want to eat for lunch is helpful, bc most of my job right now is deciding where different bits of information go. and the decision fatigue is at like eleven by the time lunch rolls around.
just as i have to literally write “walkies” on my to-do list, i have realized i literally need to prep funtimes to decompress from work. this week, this has looked like finally installing itch.io on the work pc and going through the six gigantic bundles i bought for various charitable reasons, filing things into various folders to play later.
“but kay, isn’t that exactly your day job?”
no. it’s different here. shut up.
anyway that’s how i rediscovered depanneur nocturne (which i also apparently bought on steam at some point?), which i pitched to @andmaybegayer as: a tiny cozy game about exploring a magic shop/convenience store to find a gift for your partner who is a deer.
the vibes in this one are Just Nice! a very nice little game that made me quite happy and content for the rest of the evening. the poster work on the walls was absolutely fucking baller, and your partner who is a deer and the shopkeep who is a salamander witch are delightful. not saccharine sweet like some cozy games are, where they’re quite smug about ~*being wholesome*~ and ~*self care*~. this was like a slice of life episode from an anime you half remember and will never find again.
i took screenshots but don’t want to get up and get them off my work computer so here’s one lifted from the itch.io page. not a hundred percent on the game discovery here but i know it wasn’t through work, may have just been me fucking around on steam on my own time
making wrote a double drabble about *checks notes* the two ladies from 1952′s High Noon, bc i think they should have hit da bricks and they Literally get on the same train, this shit writes itself. i have been wailing about this for several days but Why is this is first actual fic for this movie it is SUCH low hanging fruit
also people really liked this post about how i acquired a cool new lamp
also also people yelled at me a lot for this modern noir snippet. you know how sunset boulevard was the rot hidden under the sundrenched decadence of los angeles? what if a modern noir was the rot under influencer culture
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Thoughts on The Witness
[no spoilers... this game would be nearly impossible to spoil in text]
Where do I even start?
I guess one thing to know about The Witness is that you can watch the famous 9-minute tracking shot from Nostalghia - where Oleg Yankovsky tries to walk a candle from one end of a drained pool to the other without extinguishing it - in its entirety. (I think it’s the entirety, I left before the clip was over; yeah, Jon, I get it.)
How do we interpret this? I haven’t watched Nostalghia, but I know that scene. Every film major knows that scene. Tony Zhou cited it in discussing lateral tracking shots, how they emphasize environment and create emotional distance from humans in the frame, and how Tarkovsky uses this to make the sequence lonely and arduous. Kyle Kallgren cited it in discussing how YouTube makes critique of certain types of art difficult, and Content ID essentially decides for us what film as a medium is even for.
Jon Blow plays the clip in full with no commentary - or, rather, the game itself is the commentary. There’s a sequence in Indie Game: The Movie where Jon Blow expresses some pain about how his game Braid was received, how he felt no one who played it ever really understood everything he was trying to say with it. That feeling might be ameliorated if he weren’t such a constituionally obtuse motherfucker.
Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between Yankovsky’s dedication to a task that is simple yet difficult and the game’s puzzles, built, as they are, around complexity-through-simplicity. Except, Yankovsky’s Andrei has a personal investment carrying this candle, one Tarkovsky has spent the entire film setting up. I was about five hours into The Witness when I found this clip - more than twice the duration of Nostalghia - and I still didn’t know why I was solving the game’s puzzles or what they were trying to communicate.
Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between the patience it encourages in its audience and the calm, meditative mode all The Witness’ allusions to Buddhism are seemingly on about, to give yourself over to the time investment the game demands of you. Except, Nostalghia asks you to spend nine minutes thinking about one thing; zen Buddhism encourages you to think of nothing; The Witness asks you to spend between fifteen and forty hours thinking about a zillion things. It is not a game about clearing your mind, it’s about filling your mind up. There is little continuity between the thoughtless peace of meditation or Yankovsky’s emotional collapse and the game’s intended “aha” moments.
But the ambiguity, the contextlessness of the scene’s inclusion, means you can’t be sure whether it’s contradictory. If we assume it’s about dedication, and we find a flaw in that worldview, maybe the problem is that we didn’t assume it was about meditation. And vice versa. If it fails to communicate, maybe the problem is us.
The only thing this scene communicates for sure is that Jon Blow wants me to know he watches Tarkovsky.
Jon Blow wants you to trust he knows what he’s doing. That the game is saying something. He also never, ever wants to tell you what it is. (If he could just tell you, he wouldn’t have spent eight years making it into a game, I suppose.) But this operates on completely opposite rules to the puzzles. Puzzles in The Witness are maze-drawing panels with increasing numbers of rules, all conveying their rules nonverbally, through gameplay. You see a symbol you don’t recognize, or a shape you don’t know how to draw, and you try things out, you make assumptions, you fail repeatedly, and then something works, the panel lights up, and you know you got it right. Now you understand what the symbol means.
The theming doesn’t work that way. Whatever theory you have as to what the game’s about, there will be no moment of clarification. Blow has an incredible talent, in fact, for constructing imagery that is hilariously blunt yet still ambiguous. As with Braid, where he crammed a straightforward narrative about memory and regret with allusions to quantum physics and the atomic bomb, The Witness references Einstein, the Buddha, Richard Feynman, romantic poetry, tech culture, game design, and - most of all - itself.
I realize I’m dancing around the subject here, because what the gameplay is (or isn’t) in service of is far easier to talk about than the gameplay itself. The Witness is a big island full of touch screens where you draw lines on grids. That’s it. The island is dense with structures and biomes, impossibly having a desert, a swamp, and three different kinds of forest which appear to be in four different seasons. What it doesn’t have is any reason why you’re there or a justification for solving ~600 line-drawing puzzles other than because Jon Blow wants you to. I was wrong in my video from 2015 to call The Witness narrative-based; the game contains narrative but it is not a narrative game. The island is very pretty, meticulously crafted, and not trying in the slightest to look like a real place. It is Myst minus everything people like about Myst.
Absent a reason for my character - if I’m even playing a “character” - to solve the puzzles, why am I, the player, solving them? The short answer is, “Because they’re there. You knew what you were buying. You solve the puzzles because it’s a puzzle game, do I gotta draw you a diagram?” (No, you need me to draw 600 diagrams.) That is unsatisfactory because the island is clearly more than an elaborate menu system.
Do I solve them because they’re interesting? I mean, they’re not bad, if you’re into Sudoku or, like... cereal boxes. In and of themselves, they’re not my cuppa. People told me about a repeated sense of epiphany the game provoked for them, but that’s not the way I experienced it. Every puzzle is so carefully tutorialized that I never felt I was making an intuitive leap. There is no lateral thinking in The Witness, it is strictly longitudinal. You get a row of puzzle panels, and you take them one by one (you are, in fact, prevented from jumping ahead), each one building on what it taught you. And they get hard, certainly, but each is the logical progression of the one before. And each is a marvel of nonverbal communication, but that’s more Jon being clever than it is me. This is not to judge people who did get a feeling of discovery; one person’s “aha” moment is another’s “yeah, Jon, I get it.”
(Aside: I did get a proper “aha” moment when I came to a panel that could be solved two ways. It controlled a moving platform; draw one line, the platform moves right, draw the other and it moves left. And I thought, “Huh, I guess I get it, but those shapes seem kind of arbitrary.” But then, while it was moving, I realized the platform itself mirrored what I had drawn; the two designs were what shape the platform would take when connected with each endpoint! And I went “oh fuck, oh fuck, that’s clever, that‘s really clever.” My first epiphany. It was the most Myst-like the game got, it was clearly not the kind of experience Jon Blow was interested in recreating much, and it took place 7 hours in.)
Do I solve them because I’m compelled? In the first play sessions, I asked myself several times, “Do I even like this?” The game is often tedious and frustrating and I regularly muttered “fuck off, Jon.” But I kept playing. I got annoyed when people interrupted me. I got a hideous case of Tetris effect. They’re not the kind of puzzles you can spend the day thinking through, like you would with Myst or Riven; they’re too abstract to visualize without them right in front of you. And the world is pretty but it’s not a place I wish I could visit, like I would with, again, Myst or Riven. But I kept going back. I solved puzzles less because I found pleasure in finishing them than I found displeasure in them being unfinished. Jon Blow has given talks on how game design focused on being “addictive” is basically evil - his word, not mine. And yet... it felt more like I was playing his game because I was hooked than because I was enjoying myself.
Do I solve them because I trust Jon Blow? Because I believe this will all amount to something? Jon certainly expects me to trust him. The game blares PROFUNDITY AHEAD constantly. (I remind you it quotes the Buddha.) But, in the years since Braid, I have grown less impressed with Jon Blow’s “art game genius” shtick. One fun bit about playing The Witness so late is finally reading all the discourse, and, well before finishing the game, I had read the thoughts of Andrew Plotkin, and Liz Ryerson, and Andi McClure - all of whom are brilliant - so I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. What’s surprised me is, having gotten to the first ending - not the secret ending - what the game is up to still isn’t clear. There are enough allusions to heady ideas that you can infer some stuff, but the default ending - while pretty enough - adds nothing and reveals nothing. And getting the True Ending means completing the In the Hall of the Mountain King section, something many will never find and precious few will ever complete. (Debating whether I’m going to even try.) If Jon Blow wants you to trust that he’s going somewhere with this, he makes you wait a long time before finding out if it’s worth it. [EDIT: turns out the secret ending comes after a different set of obscure puzzles than Hall of the Mountain King.]
Which leads me back to my original conclusion: I am solving the puzzles because Jon Blow told me to.
I suspect the arc Jon wants is for me to begin solving puzzles because I want to know what they’re in service of, what point Jon is trying to make, and then spend so long on them that I forget about the destination and just wrap myself up in the work, and, after dozens of hours on the hardest of the hard puzzles, Jon will finally reveal that the point he was making was about the labor I have just done. That he couldn’t tell me what it was for until I’d already done it. That the labor was its own reward. And how much you like The Witness is going to depend on whether or not you feel ripped off.
The overall impression The Witness left me with was less of meditation than discipline. (I have joked that playing The Witness feels like being in a D/s relationship with Jon Blow and not knowing the safe word.) Jon presents a simple concept and then expects you to solve every. single. permutation. of that concept. You do the work to find out what it’s about, and then what it’s about is the work. That game is about itself. The subject of The Witness is solving The Witness. It’s about purity of design, about simplicity, about slowly mastering a set of skills. (That these skills are neither inherently pleasurable to perform nor applicable in any other context seems not to matter; the point is, you learned them.) It’s hard not to read a game fixated on the beauty of its own design as all kinds of smug.
I allowed myself to be spoiled on the True Ending, and it seems, in the eleventh hour, if you draw lines til your fingers bleed, the game makes room for self-critique, questioning whether all this dedication to design actually is, in any way, meaningful or useful to us. Which, just a little bit, smacks of an artist spending two years making a sculpture of himself, chiseled to make him look a perfect Olympian beauty, only to label it “EGOISM.” Ooo. Make you think.
I suspect, in the end, I played it to (partial) completion because I was curious. I didn’t necessarily buy Jon Blow’s hype, but his hype is intriguing. As a portrait of a certain mindset, a monomaniacal obsession with design for design’s sake, the folk-religion of salvation through technology, and the critique of same, it is fascinating. I know people - smart people - who genuinely love this game, and, if the above is any indication, I clearly love talking about it. I have no regrets.
But, word of advice: if you don’t a) love the puzzles, or b) love the discourse, just walk away. Everything will be fine.
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Radio Decameron |1.16.21 & 1.23.21
Secret Radio | 1.16.21 & 1.23.21 | Hear it here.
1. Sylvain Sylvain - “I’m So Sorry”
I never feel right saying “RIP” or “rest in peace” about an actual human being who is no longer with us. But I will say: I hope Sylvain Sylvain died content with the music he made and the life he lived.
2. The Honeydrippers - “Impeach the President”
And ideally, then we would never have to hear from or talk about that accursed criminal ever again. We recorded this section before the inauguration — may we never forget how ALL 50 STATE CAPITOLS plus the US Capitol itself were being guarded against attacks by American citizens on that day — and shit was tense there for many days. As of this writing, things are… unviolent. It feels like a lull to me, honestly, rather than, say, all that stuff being in the rearview. It is not.
But meanwhile, check that beat out!
I love how Roy Charles is trying to convince them to stop demanding, but they just keep insisting. This song is brilliant, and the playing is — c’mon now — unimpeachable.
3. Niagara - “Tchiki boum”
We heard this song in the film “Perdrix,” known as “The Bare Necessity” in the version we saw via SLIFF. They’re dancing in a club to this, and it’s just a really distractingly good song for the scene.
- C.K. Mann - “Mber Papa”
We just recently learned about Essiebons by learning that he passed just this August. He was a producer of legendary status to a lot of people. Listening around his music we came upon C.K. Mann and this righteous track, which Essiebons produced. I think this is a pretty ultra track, really. Every instrument really kicks it out. I hope Essiebons died happy.
4. Rocky Horror Picture Show - “Hot Patootie / Bless My Soul”
New president, feeling kinda upbeat and hopeful. Really just starting to feel the tips of my soul from where it’s been getting singed. It’s going to take a long time to scab over what happened to us all over the last four years. I’m so fucking glad he’s gone that it makes me really love that rock n roll!
5. Moon Unit & Frank Zappa - “Valley Girl”
Tell you what: we watched the movie “Zappa” recently as part of a film festival, and I highly recommend watching it at your earliest opportunity. It is absolutely for people who do, and for people who do not, love his music. He shows up as a really interesting character throughout his whole life. The film skips through his songs with amazing speed, which actually works really well in his case. This song is with his daughter Moon Unit, who actually slid a handwritten note under his door introducing herself by name and saying that she wanted to collaborate on a project. They did this, and while Zappa was in Europe, Moon Unit brought the acetates to KROC and the song became an instant hit for them. Meanwhile he was writing for multiple orchestras.
6. Jacques Dutronc - “Sur Une Nappe de Restaurant”
This is totally not how I tune my drums, but I love how Dutronc’s drums sound in every song. I mean, the whole band of course, but there is a physical space both in the drum part as written and in the recorded texture of the whole that is just deep and wide.
7. Nyame Bekyere - “Medley: Broken Heart / Aunty Yaa / Omo Yaba (Nzema)”
This is another discovery via Essebiens, who released it on Essiebons Enterprises. It’s such an intense track! The cover artwork is by K. Frimpong, who plays a crazy Cuban guitar style on his own albums.
8. Ros Serey Sothea - “Tngai Neas Kyom Yam Sra (Today I Drink Wine)”
This is a voice, and a cast of characters, I can’t stop thinking about. This is from “Cambodian Rocks Vol 1,” which is full of great recordings. Her voice could shatter glass, and it’s so skillfully wielded — I’d love to hear her in a face-off with Frankie Valli.
- There’s a moment from Paige’s phone archives of a little George and Isabelle aching to ride rides at the Millstadt homecoming.
9. Les Poppys - “Isabelle je t’aime”
These young boys singing collectively about their — collective? 17 individual? — love(s) for Isabelle is even more innocent in video format:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o618mlIaR7E
- more C.K. Mann - “Mber Papa”
10. The Jam - “In the City”
This song makes me miss the city so much! It sounds like everything we really can’t get up to right now. I feel like this song helps me feel like I’m walking fast under streetlights.
11. Bruno Leys - “Maintenant je suis un voyou”
This 7” from Born Bad is so incredible! Bruno Leys worked on just a few songs with a band that included a guy named Emmanuel Pairault who plays parts on an instrument called the ondes Martenot, a super early, very eclectic and ungainly electronic instrument. The fact that he could actually compose music of any kind on it was considered remarkable. The fact that he was able to write such incredibly expressive parts to thoroughly filigree the choruses is what amazes me.
This band recorded four songs, then Bruno Leys left for his military service, and when he came back it was all completely over — the catalog was sold, everyone was scattered. Four songs.
12. Sleepy Kitty - “Nothing = You”
I’m pretty sure this song was essentially our response to our own growing fascination with French pop. To me it sounds more French than American in texture. We played this song with the Incurables once at The Pageant in STL and it was especially glorious. I think of that moment — Kevin Bachmann harmonizing flawlessly with Paige, four different guitars ringing through the chords — every time I hear this track.
13. Plastic Bertrand - “Pogo Pogo”
I don’t know why or when “Ça Plane Pour Moi” became the one French pop song that Americans are likely to know, but it’s a total banger so I have no complaints. It turns out that pretty much all of his songs sound very similar — one-note melodies in the verse, cool vocalese hooks in the chorus, and super-driving guitar parts throughout. Turns out that’s a formula we totally dig!
14. Os K-rrascos & Vanessinha Do Picatchu - “Bochecha Ardendo”
For whatever reason, a variety of Brazilian music seemed to be the very hottest stuff to be found in Chicago’s art-school party nights, and I remember losing my mind to some heavy Brazilian rhythms that just kept folding over and over on themselves while staying so impossibly funky that the whole night just turned into a deep-green-and-dark orange smear of a late-night winter warehouse dancing and sweating and then way, way later, walking home steaming along a cold sidewalk on a tree-lined street.
- Eric Dolphy - “Hat and Beard”
15. Von Südenfed - “The Rhinohead”
I feel like no one in my zone talks enough about how awesome Von Südenfed is. I mean, we only know this one album, but it’s so fascinating — a band where Mark E. Smith is contributing but not in control, and on purpose. He shows off his pop chops and gets to be a whole different character in this one place, while the Mouse on Mars guys get to play new characters themselves. It feels like it’s related to “Extricate” in how it’s constructed, but the music doesn’t sound like something any version of the Fall has made.
16. Fischer-Spooner - “The 15th”
A friend of Wire is a friend of ours.
p.s. Paige here, they went to SAIC (before I arrived) but they were super famous to all of us in the dorms.
17. T.P. Orchestre - “Pourquoi Pas?”
The depths of this band just continue to amaze us. We’re waiting on some T.P.O.C. vinyl right now, featuring mostly songs we’ve never heard, and the everlovin’ post office is misdelivering it BACK to France even as I write this. It’s driving us totally nuts.
18. Nina Simone - “Mississippi Goddam”
The hardness of her voice, the hardness of her experience, the hardness of her words.
19. Fanny - “Blind Alley”
I don’t know who first put this in front of my eyes, but it was a few years ago. The video is so basic — they’re performing in front of a video-psych effect — but the performers themselves are just so absorbing. And the production is so heavy, it feels legendary.
20. Manmadha Leela soundtrack - “Kushalamena”
I think we first saw a colorful glimpse of this song before we heard it. Paige automatically starts dancing a little dance as soon as “Kushalamena” comes on.
This I think came from the “Now Playing” group I’m in on FB: a guy was holding out a picture of the cover of this album and said he’d bought 40 more like it and he LOVED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. He just wanted to see if anyone knew anything more about them. I did my best to hear the album he was showing. I think this is it. I think he’s right to be super jazzed about it, we just want to hang out with him and listen to all those records.
21. Francis Bebey - “Je vous aime zaime zaime”
Paige was working on her pronunciation and when to use the ellision — the z sound for the s letter, depending on what comes next — and he said something about, “Unless you’re Francis Bebey and you’re singing ‘Je vous aime zaime zaime.” And she said, “Francis Bebey? I know Francis Bebey!” and he said, “No, you’re thinking of another Francis.” But we all know the truth. This was our introduction to the song though.
- Jack Teagarden - “I Guess I’ll Have to Change My Plan”
Paige was looking for the Fred Astaire & Jack Buchanan version from “The Bandwagon,” but found this great instrumental trombone-forward version instead.
22. Pono AM - "Good Vibes"
This is one of those things you see every once in a great while when you’re playing clubs in a music scene — a band hits a natural home run. They just have an undeniably appealing crowdpleaser of a song that they wrote, and everyone flips out when they hear it. We salute Pono AM for writing this perfect song. They enrich the STL music world. My only advice to them was to never get tired of it or take it for granted.
Paige: We took their band photos at our space on Cherokee Street, for an RFT article. I was impressed because they arrived with matching shirts that still had the tags on them, and it was really exciting to see a new band on the scene who was really good and also putting in the effort to be graphically interesting. We believe that stuff counts. All of their shows, if you got there early, you’d see all of the band members blowing up as many balloons as they could, so there would be balloons bouncing around their set for the whole show, and it made it even better.
23. Sir Victor Uwaifo And His Titibitis - "Iranm Iran"
Analog Africa has a new album! It’s called “Edo International,” and it shows off a whole other side of Beninese music that isn’t T.P. Orchestre. I think of T.P. Orchestre as just a giant force in Beninese music, but then this comp comes out showing so many other roots of Benin City’s highlife-funk scene. Victor Uwaifo was a Nigerian guitarist who returned to his hometown in Benin City and built Joromi Studio. The sound he put together at that place, via his own bands and others’, came to be called Edo Funk.
24. Laughing Man - "Brilliant Colors"
This is a tape of one of the artists of one of the group houses that we always would stay at in DC. Benjamin Schurr runs a tape label and it was always such a treat getting the new batch of Blight. releases for the van soundsystem when we’d roll through town, or one of his bands would tour through St. Louis. They were always interesting stuff and a wide range of sounds and styles.
We first met Brandon Moses when he was on tour with Paperhaus in St. Louis. I think it was his birthday, too. He didn’t tour a ton with them. Laughing Man was our first time hearing him front songs. We always enjoyed staying with Erik and Benjamin and Brandon and enjoyed sharing that green power juice that Brandon gave us — really powered us up for the next drive.
- Bembeya Jazz - “Petit Sokou”
I have felt love for this song for awhile, but Josh Weinstein recently sent a video of the band actually performing this song and WOW, it is hypnotizing. The outfits, the instruments, and the expressiveness of the guitar playing are all so vivid in black and white: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpZVF_kKUJ4
25. Maxime le Forestier - “San Francisco”
Our thanks to Paige’s French instructor for showing us this song. Paige’s version is well worth hearing too, I must say: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKhJfqDDe2q/
p.s. Paige again, if you want to see the dragon birthday card that Evan made, here it is!
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Post-OMD/Slott’s unused Spidey characters: Alpha a.k.a Andrew Maguire
So there was an ask about Alpha and it was about what happened to him, and yeah, it was just as @filipfatalattractionrblog, otherwise known as the admin, said, Slott got tired of him and dumped him on someone else where they got written into obscurity. And that is like a thing Slott or the writers of Post Brand New Day did constantly. He did it with Cindy Moon, he did it with a bunch of Spider-verse characters, he did it with Yuri Watanabe, he did it with Mr. Negative, Screwball, he did it with the entirety of Parker Industries and Horizon Labs. He even did it with Superior Spider-man. The moment Brand New Day started, Spider-man was tossed around a bunch of writers where they all started trying to race to create the next MJ love interest replacement. So there are even more characters that Slott didn’t create that are very under utilized. Not to mention characters created prior to One More Day/Brand New Day didn’t have much fucking screen time during this and thus did not receive any development. So characters like Liz Allen, Phillip Chang, Betty Brant, Flash Thompson(although he got to be Agent Venom), Randy Robertson, Glory Grant, Mary Jane Watson until fans complained, and even Aunt May which made the whole One More Day deal redundant.
Old school Spider-man constantly hung out with his clique. Post One More Day Spider-man didn’t seem to have many friends outside of his Spider-man persona. And the partnerships that he did make didn’t last.
So, this is where I will go back and detail those lost characters starting with Andy because he is the most egregious. Then I speculate if they can come back, what role should they have.
I fucking hate Andrew Maguire. And apparently, I am supposed to hate him according to Slott, but I believe that is a cop out. He wanted this character to work. Regardless, Andrew Maguire serves as the Peter Parker without any of the selflessness and virtue. “So...Eddie Brock?” No, not as cool as Eddie or as well written.
And subtlety is not a thing for Slott. If you noticed, the character is named after the two Spider-man actors at the time, Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield. People say it is a tribute, I personally think he was mocking them. My opinion, but you already know that.As you can see that the origin is pretty much a This Loser Is You trope which is weird because it’s insulting for fans of Spider-man, a character that is renown for being a superhero with everyman problems, to have a character who exists to say Peter is exceptional and you are not.
Andy goes on a Field Trip to Horizon Labs and meets Peter Parker who is about to unleash his newest discovery, Parker Particles. Which by the way, feels like an accomplishment for Peter, but Slott just had to twist the knife on that and have Reed casually say that he discovered it first and decided to leave Pandora’s Box be. Fuck Reed Richards. Anyways, as expected, Parker’s experiment went to shit and Andy decides to to perform his one solo act.
And Alpha is born.
Okay well, first, Horizon had to settle with Maguire’s parents to avoid lawsuits and Any became the mascot for Horizon labs and then Alpha is born. So they do a check on his powers to see what the kid’s got.
He has the strength to lift a ton which is weaker than any Spider-man, he is bulletproof, has enhanced speed,has energy projection. So if you are following those useless ass stat charts on Marvel wiki, his chart would be...
Intelligence: 2 Normal
Strength: 4 One Ton is his max
Speed: 3 It just says enhanced speed so I am going to assume he can’t break the sound barrier
Durability 5 Bulletproof
Energy Projection: 5 Long Range single energy type blasts
Fighting Ability 2 Normal
What we have here is a powerhouse. Oh and he has a caveat. He can only use one power at a time at the moment. And he is only growing more powerful because Mr. Fantastic points out, Andy is embedded with Parker Particles which are tied to the expansion of the universe. His powers are only going to grow. So Mr. Fantastic decides to place Andy Maguire under Peter Parker’s care. Thus making Alpha Spider-man’s sidekick.
Alpha because no one else in the world has self-control without an Uncle Ben dying decides to market himself as the next best superhero. He gets marketing deal with Horizon to market their inventions, and he also becomes a pop sensation and media darling. Gets the girl that he was pawning after, Chrissy Chen, who I do like btw. I mean he is living the life, amigo.
His new girlfriend even makes him a fan page.
And this is where there is some credence to the idea that Andy was meant to be hated because the comment section tears him apart with meta commentary. He is called a poochie which is a synonym for Scrappy, a term tor fan hated characters. Which, again, what is the point of a character that we, the fans, are meant to hate? It is counter intuitive and a waste of time. I mean people like Golden Booster, Slott. I just don’t get why bother with this? Of course, Andy’s set up in his origin follows the same beats as Slott’s other creation, Cindy Moon, who he wanted to be liked and cried racism when fans hated her as well.
This is endemic to Slott’s run as a whole. He doesn’t get Spider-man. He wanted to create Iron Man instead of making Spider-man stories. And when he introduces new characters, he doesn’t properly want to build them. Like Kamala Khan had 3 issues of character development before she became a superhero. Her origin was fleshed out. Miles had 5 issues and 14 issues to have a proper origin. Andy literally has just 1 issue that can’t even be considered an origin. It is not his origin story. It is just another problem for Peter to solve and that was the problem with Cindy Moon. She wasn’t a character but a replacement to Felicia Hardy who Slott went and tarnished to begin with.
So Alpha gets annoyed with those comments and decides to prove the haters wrong. Peter has been keeping track of Alpha the entire time so he intercepts him before he does anything wrong. Spider-man takes him under his wing and makes him his side-kick.
First, no. Spider-man has turned down sidekicks from Black Cat without super powers, Ollie Osnick, Sally Avril, and a few others. Miles’ isn’t his sidekick, student, or anything. Miles is his own hero who Peter feels responsible for and he sort of hangs out with.Spider-man doesn’t do sidekicks nor would he take them on if offered. He barely does team-ups and only out of propriety and necessity. So him donning Andy as such is out of character and kind against theme.
Second, the dialogue here does not match Peter’s tone.He is too sarcastic and cavalier about things. Peter is one of the most restrained heroes in Marvel in terms of his power usage. He knows what Andy is capable of. He wouldn’t be so casual. He would be on him like white on rice. He knows the seriousness of Andy’s situation. If he teaching Andy, he would refrain from fighting unless he has to. Peter was a teacher. He should know how teenagers are because he has dealt with them. It is like....okay.
Anyways, Andy being the ambitious little scamp decides to take over and do his own thing.
Okay, this is when I kind of knew that Slott would be an okay Fantastic Four writer.And he doesn’t waste any time reminding people that he is the most powerful hero of all time.
Ben is beside himself because the little shit used his catchphrase in public, Johnny is ribbing on Spidey because he created a monster, Sue is trying to keep the peace, and Reed is annoyed because of Parker’s terrible decision of telling a teenager that he is the most powerful being in the universe.
Reed tries again, and reminds Peter that Alpha is his responsibility. He has to essentially babysit Alpha for free. Meanwhile Alpha is letting his newfound success go to his head. He decides to two-time the girl that he was pining for...or he only liked because he felt that she was the best that he can get. You see, Andy is the guy who thinks as people as material to gain. He doesn’t mind using them, but once he outgrows them, he dumps them.
It is like Slott just wants to create the biggest asshole in Spider-man. And I guess that’s okay, but again, to what end? Is Andi going to be a bad guy? No. Is he going to be a reoccurring character? No. So why bother creating him if other writers won’t bother and fans hate him?
After this, Miles Warren aka the Jackal captures Andy easily and Peter has to find the little fuck because he is ,”Peter Parker’s responsibility.” Yeah, I am tired of that too.The Jackal wants to clone Alpha and repopulate the world with his own Alpha Males. No I am not kidding, that is what he calls them. Anyways, Peter tries to stop him but not before Miles Warren congratulates him of “out mad sciencing” him and creating Alpha.
....I am already bored with this comic so I will speed it up. Jackal unleashes the clones, clones don’t have the Alpha powers because the power is not tied to Alpha’s genetics, Alpha breaks free of the harnesses and kills all of the clones, and saves himself sort of. Well not before saying even more alarming shit.
This is it. This is where he will learn, right? This is where Alpha makes a turn and become the little scamp that we hope for.
Well...can’t say that I am surprised.
Peter gets fed up and conspires to take his power away from Alpha because the kid just can’t be trusted with them anymore. He is far too dangerous and honestly, Peter was right, but he was wrong the rest of the time.
Here is the thing: Alpha should have never been given these powers and allowed to keep them in any capacity.Peter should have suggested of taking them away from the very beginning and so should’ve Reed Richards and every hero who tested Andy. And I get it, it’s a little hypocritical of a blog about teenaged superheroes to say this, but there is a difference between the teens we usually cover and characters like Alpha. Alpha is in it for the glory and fame. He never has a redeeming moment. He is never humbled and is too self-centered to be humbled.Making him the strongest teen ever without proper guidance and knowing his parents were trying to mooch off of him and didn’t give a shit how much it effected his son, and only cared because of a profit margin should have been a dead giveaway. Someone should have spoken to his therapists or teachers and figured what kind of kid Andy was. It shouldn’t have taken issues of Spider-man testing it out because it was a bad idea from the start.
Alpha continues to use his power irresponsibly until the Avengers demand that Spider-man call him in to deal with Terminus. Alpha does so as he travels from Japan to Manhattan to deal a huge blow.
So good news is that Alpha got stronger. Bad news is that Alpha took out all of the airplane controllers in the vicinity so all planes are about to crash all over the New York area. So think 9/11 except on 30 buildings or so. The Avengers go into scramble mode and try to immediately rescue the civilians which by the way was the first rule Spider-man told Alpha. Guess who isn’t trying to save any civilians?
So Alpha utterly failed this day. He made a bad situation worse and it shouldn’t have taken this to finally bench Alpha. The moment he disobeyed Peter, was the moment he should have been stripped of his power. I am being serious. But whatever, Alpha gets stripped by Spider-man.
So Alpha got powered down and is normal again.
But wait, there is more. Otto took over Peter’s body and preceded to give Andy his power back, but only a little of it this time. Andy moves to Pittsburgh, his parents divorced, and becomes the new hero of the Burgh. But he accidentally kills someone using his Alpha power, his power has been shown to be cancerous and he unknowingly gave his mom cancer and he doesn’t know it, the person he supposedly killed comes back and becomes this huge cancerous alpha powered villain named Zeta, Alpha stopped Zeta, and then another criminal blackmailed him to stop Andy from fighting crime or he will kill his whole family. And that was it for Alpha.
Can this character be redeemed?
Yes.
Honestly, Alpha was saved in his mini in my opinion. I know, I didn’t post any pictures because that mini looked like shit. Again, however, the story wasn’t bad and did redeem him a little. He should have been in Miles Morales spot when it came to Marvel’s PS4. He was more suited for it and most of Marvel’s PS4 was Slott’s Spider-man run anyways. It had Yuri, Screwball, Mr. Negative, a sympathetic Doc Ock, and shit. All of these are hallmarks of Slott’s writing.
What would I do to introduce him back to the Marvel fold?
First, Alpha isn’t Godly anymore. He is like a low rent Nova. That stat chart that you saw in the beginning is where he is at now. So as long as he stays at that level, we are good. Second, his new predicament of being blackmailed by a criminal creates an interesting scenario. I would think a criminal would love having a bad guy under his thumb. So I suspect this bad guy, Boss Jimmy Cohen might think of expanding with his brand new super pet.Let’s say Alpha becomes his own enforcer and forces him to. Alpha’s mom dies of the cancer that he accidentally gave him and becomes Zeta 2.0.
So Andy after dealing with a ton of despair decides to come back and help Boss Cohen expand his empire in New York. He starts in Brooklyn, and you know where I am going with this. Andy meets Miles, Spider-man II. I am against having Miles inherent Peter’s characters, but Andy is basically an unused character. He might as well go somewhere so why not with Miles Morales who is getting an expanding list of rogues anyways. A reluctant fallen hero would be an interesting addition.
As for Chrissy Chen, I don’t like wasting characters at all, especially one that is just off the edge of Spider-man mythos. Chrissy still goes to Midtown High. And so does Lana Baumgartner. Instead of creating another character, just have her be Lana’s confidant just like Miles has with Ganke.
And that is all folks. Now I will be doing a bit more on the forgotten characters of Post OMD Spider-man. A lot of them aren’t teens, so I will cover them on my other blog. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading.
@ubernegro
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10x01: Black
Netflix won’t show me The Road So Far, so I have no clue what’s happening when a demon accuses Sam Winchester of being one of them --soul long gone. Sam’s got her tied up and he’s been torturing her, so maybe she’s delusional?
J/K, Sam’s just being Sam Co-dependent Winchester and trying to find his brother, who’s been traipsing around all summer with his new BFF, Crowley. (Which, yay for Sam for finally taking action when his brother is in trouble, but like, whoa, buddy, take it down a couple hundred notches.)
Four Weeks Later
...and every lore book and connection he has, Sam is still at a loss as to where his brother and Crowley are. He wanders into Dean’s room and finds a note on his pillow, “Sammy Let Me Go.” Sam’s not about to let that happen, especially when he finds a news article about a slain man in Wisconsin. He calls Cas with his discovery.
For My God Why Don’t I Watch This Moment More Science:
Cas is….NOT DOING WELL. He’s sweaty and coughing and laid up in bed when Sam calls. Sam excitedly talks about the lead, but Cas coughs through the whole exchange. Sam stops, realizes Cas isn’t doing well, and tells him nevermind. They leave their conversation with the question, “Do you think there’s any chance…any chance at all that Dean is still even remotely Dean?”
Cut to Dean singing Karaoke at a bar. Uh, oh boy. I mean, the more we unpack Dean Winchester, yeah, this is totally Dean. I guess this new version of Dean is pure Id. He wouldn’t be singing “I’m Too Sexy” though. Lol, bby demon Dean.
While Dean does his thing (badly). Crowley talks with a couple of dudes --(The much speculated ⅔ of the triples Dean and Crowley did extraordinary things with.)
Cut to Dean and the waitress, Anne Marie, in bed. She’s late for her shift, and Dean makes it clear that she shouldn’t grow attached to him. She’s less than impressed with his tact. Crowley busts in and busts up the party.
Cut to Dean and Crowley now playing foosball with the ⅔ of the triplets. Crowley is showing his jealousy on his sleeve. Oh, Drowley! How people missed this blatant of a storyline is beyond me.
Dean notices a man grabbing Anne Marie and heads to investigate, and by investigate I mean beat the shit out of the dude. Even at his worst, Dean’s base motivation is pure; execution might be a bit off though.
Cas continues to waste away in some dank and dark motel bed (this show did him dirty for so long). There’s a knock at his door, and Hannah is there. Oh, Hannah, how I love you. There’s an awkward exchange when Cas inadvertently flashes her, but they quickly move on and Hannah asks for Cas’s help in finding a couple rogue angels.
Sam investigates the death in Wisconsin alone.
At night, Dean leaves the bar to find a demon he knows has been watching him. He’s ready to roll.
For Demon Science:
Sam watches the police surveillance footage of the death and finds Dean on the screen! As Sam watches the footage of Dean taking out the dude, IRL Dean takes out the demon with the First Blade. At the end of the footage, Dean looks into the camera and his eyes flash black. We’ve all been there, right Sam?
This is all I have to say about the next scene of this episode:
(Ugh, ugh, ugh. This is why I don’t rewatch these episodes.) The tl;dr of it all: Cole is a gross vengeful asshole and he’s coming for Dean.
Meanwhile, Hannah and Cas are on their road trip. Hannah notes that Cas’s grace is failing. He’s dying. Cas ignores his imminent problems to focus on the bigger picture.
Sam’s on the trail for Dean and interviewing the Gas-n-Sip attendant who witnessed the entire assault. He doesn’t have much to add though, much to Sam’s exasperation. He does bury the lede a bit by giving Sam the dead demon’s phone. Sam looks through it to find the demon worked for Abaddon. Sam calls Crowley on the phone. Crowley assures Sam that the only demon inside Dean is Dean. And Crowley is so far gone on Dean it’s not funny. Lol. Sam makes it very clear that he will get his brother back, even if it kills him. Crowley taunts that he has to find them first. Smart Sammy was tracking the call though. (Natasha: I love that the Black Spur bar is on Knife River Road. Lovely.)
Cas and Hannah pull into the angels’ ultra warded camp in the middle of an idyllic forest-lined river. There are angel-shielding sigils painted all over trucks, rocks, the tent… There’s a fisherman peacefully casting into the water. It’s Daniel, one of the rogue angels.
They proceed to talk in metaphors. In this metaphor, the rogue angels are trout in the stream fighting to evade captors/fishermen. I approve of this symbolism even if it’s just been smashed in our faces like a fresh cream pie.
Hannah tells Daniel that they’ve an angelic duty to serve Heaven. Daniel counters that the Fall of angels was their liberation. “I have choices,” he tells them. “And with each choice, I begin to discover who I really am.” I’m just going to fake cough “CAS” at the TV for a while. Hannah draws her blade but Cas talks her down (while the second rogue angel lurks in the background. Dun dun DUN).
At the Knight-of-Hell bar, Dean and Crowley info dump on us that Dean needs to kill to sate the blade. If he doesn’t kill regularly, then he’ll turn into a demon. Crowley’s been gift-wrapping pissy demons to assuage the Mark. (So this is love...mmmmmMMMmmm...so THIS is loooooove…) Anyway, Crowley wants to talk about their future. Their “professional future” - he’s forced to clarify. I don’t ship Dean and Crowley but OH MY GOD this episode just dances along that edge so delicately well. Do I think this episode and select later interactions lay a strong groundwork for Dean/Crowley action? Abso-friggin-lutely, I do.
Crowley tries to urge Dean to begin ruling Hell by his side so that “all of this that’s bloomed between us never ends.” EYES EMOJI! Crowley drops the news that Sam’s on to their location and furthermore, that Crowley knew Sam was tracing the call. Demon Dean, eternal party boy, is too much for Crowley to handle. Sam’s impending arrival forces a choice: Sam and capture, or Crowley and Hell.
As Sam drives to the Dark Knight Bar on Pointy Things Road, his headlights go out and the car sputters to a halt. At first we’re led to suspect demons, however Cole pulls up and malevolently offers to help Sam fix his car. They open the hood to find a kill switch in Sam’s car, and Cole’s got the remote. Cole takes Sam out quickly, knocking him out - poor bby.
Back at the bar, Dean sings - I shit you not - “Imaginary lovers” by Atlanta Rhythm Section. I...just…
Dean gets generally trashed, sings terribly, and sleeps it off miserably. Anne Marie approaches as he wakes and offers him a glass of water. They discuss Dean’s sense of “honor” in beating the shit out of her ex. She tells him that his defense of her was out of control and had nothing to do with doing something good for another person. It was all about his own issues. In response Dean denigrates both her and himself, burning the brief flare of shared honesty to the ground. Well, good to see that demon Dean is just as self-destructive as regular human Dean. I guess.
Around a cheery campfire, Cas, Hannah, and Daniel chat. Daniel tells Cas that there is wisdom to be gained from the human world. Hannah’s entirely out of the conversational loop; she just doesn’t get it.
Hannah: If you are to be free, that is to be decided by all angels.
Daniel: There's that angelic irony.
Adina shows up right when the conversation starts getting too philosophical. Heeeey buddy! Angel blades are drawn and the fight escalates quickly between Hannah and Adina while Daniel and Cas try to get them to chill the fuck out. Unfortunately, he can’t prevent them from trying to kill each other. Cas kills Daniel to save Hannah, suffering a grievous wound from Adina in the process. Adina races off into the night.
Cole continues to be the Ugh, Whatever plotline of this episode, hauling Sam into an abandoned building. He ties him up, interrogation style, and tells Sam that he’s after his brother Dean. See, when Cole was a kid, Dean broke into his house and killed his actually-a-monster father. Cole’s been on a revenge quest ever since.
Back with Cas and Hannah, they drive awkwardly away from the riverside camp. Cas mourns Daniel’s death.
Hannah ties rebellious angels to dangerously self-guided angels like Metatron and Naomi. Cas counters.
Cas: Perhaps I've been down here with them for too long. There's seemingly nothing but chaos. Not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.
Hannah: But those are human things.
Cas: Yes.
Me: [Writes a two thousand word essay on this exchange, while crying.]
Dean does his own lonely night-time drive and fields a call from Sam.
Dean tells him that he’s ditched the bar and by extension, Sam (me: crying intensifies). Only, it’s Cole calling. Cole threatens Sam’s life unless Dean gives himself up. “You listen to me,” Dean says with quiet, chill calm. “There's no trade. There's no meet-up. There's no nothing except the hundred percent guarantee that somewhere down the road I will find you, and I will kill you.” Cole can kill Sam - or not - but Dean will still murder his ass. Probably. Dean drives mysteriously into the night, leading us all to wonder just how far gone he really is.
Let’s Howl at those Quotes:
I miss him.
Get a room, you two.
I’m sensing awkwardness.
Where’s the porn?
Problem is, we don't know if this guy's a hero or a psychopath.
Dean Winchester completes me.
If I have to spend one more night in this fetid petri dish of broken dreams and B.O., I will cut off my own face.
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!
#spn recap#spn rewatch#spn 10x01#black#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#cas#crowley#hannah#supernatural season 10
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I have no legitimate sleep schedule, so take my list of my Top 20 favorite Gorillaz tracks
20: Momentz - In the same league as Feel Good Inc., don't at me.
19: Stylo - Mos Def and Bobby Womack absolutely devastating on the bridges. Hearing Jeremih perform this live was gorgeous.
18: Humility - Gorillaz made a summer jam, and it sure sounds like it. Damon's getting old, man. Just wants to retire, wants to have a few beers by the beach.
17: Sleeping Powder - iwasgone I M B A C K ASDKJHAJSDHGSKDJHFGKJHASGLDKJAGSD
16: Feel Good Inc. - A legendary song in my formative years, and a soundtrack to the Bush administration as important as “American Idiot”. Only so low on the list because of oversaturation.
15: Rhinestone Eyes - This song is the embellished production of Plastic Beach in a moment. I once made a mashup with this song and "Kangaroo Court" by Capital Cities.
14: Re-Hash - First song on the first album, and it slaps.
13: Ascension - Vince Staples is such a brilliant voice in the latter half of the decade, and I'm pleased to see Damon Albarn recognize this.
12: DARE - Hot damn, this song is a jam.
11: M1 A1 - Hearing this song kick off a Gorillaz concert feels like getting shot by a cannon. It's the "most like the sound the pilliows exuded on the FLCL soundtrack" song in the Gorillaz discography, and for that, I like it.
10: Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head - When Gorillaz want to tell a horror story, they double down and get Dennis Hopper to tell a story of apocalypse. Demon Days is such an immortal album, and this song will live on as a ubiquitous reminder of one's mortality at the hands of greed. Good one for the pessimistic crowds of both 2005 and 2019.
9: Rock the House - BETTER THAN CLINT EASTWOOD. FIGHT ME. When Gorillaz sample audio, they make sure to make the most of it. The ten second sample of John Dankworth's "Modesty Blaise" carries Del the Funky Homosapien's bragging boogie rap through to another level with the tight bass riffs the self-titled album is known for. Echo effects, horn stabs, a fucking recorder. This tracks fucks me up.
8: Souk Eye - I think a track off of The Now Now is one of the best works in the Gorillaz discography. Primarily because following Humanz and The Now Now, Albarn and Hewlett are in a strange time of their lives. Both are now 50 years old, and Gorillaz has lasted 20 years. The concept has run its course for now. To hear this song close this chapter of the Gorillaz story feels fitting. A love song to the many miles taken, only to realize one must leave their current circumstances in order to survive.
7: Last Living Souls - It's a cliche to say a song builds, but when the track starts with little more than a drum machine, and leads to an acoustic breakdown and string section breakdown back-to-back, you can agree this song builds. A lush atmosphere of tiny bleeps and bloops coming together to become greater than the sum of all parts. The song sounds so down and muted on the album, but hearing it live, it feels like a war cry. Both interpretations fit the themes of Demon Days, and it's a good one to start off the album following the Dawn of the Dead sampled "Intro".
6: El Mañana - Hearing this song follow "Busted and Blue" accompanied by visuals of Noodle during the Humanz Tour is the closest I've come to a religious experience at a concert. The sudden immediacy of the situation following "Feel Good Inc" is made aware from sirens and Damon delivering a ragged vocal delivery. The track ebbs and flows in and out of deep bass and washed out highs. It feels like a sigh. It feels like crying. And if you're a Gorillaz lore sucker like I am, this track accompanies the death of Noodle, the single most important event in the canon. Also, the acoustic version reminds one how good Damon is at evoking very quiet emotion.
5: Tomorrow Comes Today - When those drums come in, man, you get teleported to the turn of the millennium. Dirty trip-hop was coming out of the UK en masse, Fatboy Slim released one of my favorites albums of all time "Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars", and Daft Punk's "Discovery" was still a year off. In between some of the most important music of my life being dropped, Gorillaz dropped their first single "Tomorrow Comes Today" at the end of the year and solidified their place for years to come. Slinking and sly, velvety and smoky. This is Gorillaz sending up a culture of basement shows and turntablism. If Think Tank is the first "Gorillaz album", this is when the transition was made manifest.
4: On Melancholy Hill - Ugh, this song. This song is pretty. Full stop. It's one of Gorillaz' very few love songs, and it still manages to capture the plasticine sadness of Plastic Beach. Plastic Beach was my first real and honest introduction to Gorillaz in college, as I only remember hearing about Demon Days from advertising in 2005, when I was 12. This track was just a treat to hear in spring/summer, and a reason I made so many (see: too many) of my finals about Gorillaz. Around the time Humanz was teased, I went back and realized this song had held up so well. It's just a universal sentiment about how the world we know is falling apart, but let's have this moment together. The acoustic version is an honest to God lullaby. Something I can play my future children. Not bad for only 16 lines of lyric.
3: Empire Ants - If "On Melancholy Hill" is about finding the beauty in ruin, "Empire Ants" holds a magnifying glass up to ruin, wondering how it came to be. Listening to the album, "Superfast Jellyfish" came just before. A satirical take on consumeristic meals leading into a song about how we are personified as ants, marching in tandem to complete our tasks and build ever outward, never truly satisfied until death. It is a reminder to look upon the greater picture that is our world and see the moments of tranquility for what they are. Sadly, these moments do not last, and Little Dragon's part reminds us we are part of a machine, ever moving, ever crumbling. It is beauty interrupted by obligation, and for a kid who was in college when this album dropped, and who is now 26 and facing a lifetime of having to make my own decisions, it's an anthem.
2: Hong Kong - I remember loading the entirety of Plastic Beach onto my iPod Nano, and having an iTunes gift card left to spend from Christmas/birthday/etc. Having seen the Demon Days Live concert, I knew this track had to be on my beautiful iPod Nano. That, and for some reason, "Dirty Harry (Schtung Chinese New Year Remix). I remember long car rides staring out the window, listening to this track as the scenery blew by. I remember reading up on this track's history, how it was released in-between Demon Days and Plastic Beach and it shows, how it's a tale of neo-industrial China and Hong Kong's place in both Chinese and British history. This is both a love letter and warning to the nation of the apocryphal train ride that inspired Demon Days. In a world where China seems to be ever rising, "Hong Kong" is a song that asks questions of how this will affect the world as a whole, using Hong Kong as a metaphor. That's nothing to say of the wondrous instrumentation, the piano part in particular on my wishlist of "Songs I Should Learn on Piano Before I Die". Many call it Gorillaz' most underrated track, and I agree full stop.
1: DoYaThing - I'M THE SHIT. I SAID I'M THE SHIT. Above all else, Gorillaz is a collaborative effort of hundreds of musicians from all walks of life. When you throw James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem, a band that rose in the same timeframe as Gorillaz, and Andre 3000, my personal pick for the G.O.A.T., magic happens. Uncut, unedited, 13 minute magic happens. Is it a bit of a meme? Sure. It is a shitpost disguised as a legitimate song? Why not. But sometimes, the goofy aspect of Gorillaz can craft audio gold. And aren't we all about memes on this blog? Albarn's at his most snotty white boy. Murphy's production and vocals are a reminder he was every music nerd's wet dream in the 2000s. Andre 3000 is just laying into every line with a confidence not heard since Stankonia. Everything about this song is designed and manufactured to sound like it it running off the rails in a fit of confidence. It is both wildly powerful and mournfully unaware. In short, to quote the great music critic Todd in the Shadows on the subject of LCD Soundsystem’s song “Losing My Edge”, "(It is) a critical darling... This was tailor made for critics. It is perfect music nerd bait, total pandering." DoYaThing, my favorite Gorillaz song of all time.
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Fave Fandom and Ships
in answer to an ask from weeks ago, sorry
Fave Fandom and Ships
001 Fandom Discovery
Least favorite character – when MU Lorca fully revealed himself a villainous villainous man [stomping that guy’s face – really?! Diatribe against alien races? Ugh]. I HATED what the writers did with Lorca. Emperor Georgiou also hits the stereotypical notes, since she doesn’t have a mustache she twirls cooked ganglia instead, and she’s also been given the Villain Trope of being bisexual – because [gasp!] “what could be worse” [this trope is on display in many shows and movies]. Yeah, we get it, she uses every. body.
5 Fave Ships – Prime Lorca/Cornwell; MU Lorca/PU Burnham; Stamets/Culber; Tilly/Tyler, I really don’t have any others. While Tyler/Burnham was well-acted, I didn’t really feel it except in the moment at the end of “Into the Forest I Go”
Character I find most attractive – ummm GABRIEL LORCA
Character I would marry – Prime Lorca [In my headcanon he’s a really decent guy – as I write in my BlackQat Katriel fics. [Although he can be stubborn as fuck, and when captaining his ship he’s pretty much like MU Lorca in temperament, using a tad bit of sarcasm here and there. He’s a little salty, but damned good and his crew would follow him through hell because he’s loyal to them.]
Character I would be best friends with – Katrina Cornwell. I hope I’d be good friends with her, she is so levelheaded and [headcanon] kind and compassionate, and probably encourages her friends. [You don’t become a psychiatrist because you’re unsympathetic toward, or uninterested in, people.] Runners-up, Sylvia Tilly, because she’s effervescent and a good friend to people.
A random thought – I so want Cornwell to find and rescue Prime Lorca. [Headcanon] Prime’s been busting his ass trying to help the rebels in the MU, and succeeding in large part since the Emperor’s departure. Maybe Cornwell has to make a devil’s bargain with Section 31 to get over there … [story in progress, grin]
An unpopular opinion – Burnham was RIGHT and Georgiou was wrong. The Shenzhou should’ve given the Klingons “The Vulcan Hello.” It might have shocked the Klingons and sent them to regroup. OTOH it may have just resulted in …The Battle at the Binary Stars … anyway. So either a win/lose or a lose/lose, and since the latter happened, it would’ve been worth a try for result #1.
My Canon OTP – Prime Lorca and Cornwell. Though it’s not REALLY established in canon as a romance. I hope it will be. I’d love to see them on Risa or somewhere together and get into an adventure while Discovery’s on a subplot adventure. Or they could be the subplot adventure. I DON’T CARE I JUST WISH I COULD SEE THEM TOGETHER
My non-canon OTP – MU Lorca and Burnham. If only he’d been fighting a just revolution for the rights of all races. Michael may even have joined him, for a time, and returned to the Prime Universe, say, after helping MU Lorca institute a better government after the Emperor’s death. OH WELL.
Most badass character – Tossup between Michael Burnham and Kat Cornwell on the female side both BAFs, and Lorca is a BAF.
Most epic villain - Emperor Georgiou. Farming and eating Kelpiens, honest to god. Killing how many, like 10 people in her throne room because she couldn’t trust them to remain quiet? Blowing up the rebel base, well yuh, I guess that’s to be expected. Quite the opposite of her kind Prime counterpart.
Runner-Up: Kol. He’s a mean Klingon, even by Klingon standards!
Pairing I am not a fan of – Tyler and Burnham, not so much. Something about it seemed a lit-tle forced, and I can’t say what. The actors did a lovely job, but I didn’t see the chemistry that was so obvious between Lorca and Burnham and Lorca and Cornwell.
And this is totally personal and y’all knock yourselves out and enjoy them, but I’m not a big fan of slash pairings in general, i.e., “making a gay couple out of a sisterly or brotherly canon pair of friends.” It’s just not my thing and I know people love to do this because of many personal or fannish reasons, like more representation, and y’all have fun with it. It is a really big thing now. But … I ship Prime Cornwell/Lorca and it isn’t yet established as canon (any more than Kirk/Spock) that they’re a canon OTP, so …
… take my “slash” statement with a grain of salt. What you want is what you want and what I want is what I want, and in fandom we can have All The Things.
I love Stamets and Culber and I love that they are a canon gay OTP. [Stamets is great because he’s a salty scientist and a BAF (“as I’ve explained to you, Captain”)(injecting himself with tardigrade DNA to save “Ripper” and get the spore drive on line, and Culber is a warm fuzzy person with medical brilliance and compassion, kind of like Dr Crusher in TNG. Don’t make the mistake of underestimating him.]
Character I feel the writers screwed up one way or another – Tyler got it the worst. Couldn’t he have just been a human with Voq’s memories implanted? Jesus, they had to CHOP UP VOQ? At least give me a reason for that. Maybe because L’Rell’s beliefs said Voq would die if his body died? But noooo, no reason is given, and gratuitous bloody surgery scenes are there just [it seems to me] for shock value.
Lorca got fucked over [by the writers] the second he killed that guy outside the Agony Booth – he might could have been redeemed by leading a revolution for just causes.
Also Prime Georgiou. See elsewhere.
And Culber. What could be a worse screwup than killing a character for shock value?
Fave friendship - Burnham and Tilly
Character I most identify with – I am a lot like Tilly in the sense that I can be insecure and unsure and talk wayyy too much. As an older woman I also identify with Cornwell [and love her age-appropriate relationship with (Prime) Lorca, and I hope they’re more than just occasional fuck buddies.] In temperament I also identify with Salty!Lorca or CompassionateCulber or SaltyStamets.
Character I wish I could be – Cornwell or Burnham. Cornwell because she’s brilliant and capable, a psychiatrist, and a BAF Starfleet Admiral … being defiant and fighting L’Rell; with its attendant risks; Burnham because she’s also incredibly brilliant and capable and a BAF herself. Beaming onto the Sarcophagus to plant the sensors? Fighting Kol? I mean dayum.
002
Ships – Cornwell/Lorca [my OTP]; Burnham/Lorca
When I started shipping them – I think when she said, “Gabriel, why don’t you fix your damn eyes.”
[And Burnham/Lorca, when I read LadyFangs’ stories including “Human Nature,” then co-wrote “Human Nature II” with her.]
My thoughts – Headcanon: they didn’t meet till after Lorca graduated the Academy; Cornwell is four years older than he, and is a fully certified M.D. Psychiatrist [12 years] and comes to the Academy Officer Candidate School, which teaches candidates about the service and its history; Federation history as it relates to Starfleet; what it is to be an officer, not a civilian, and basic SERE training, working out, leadership. Kat graduates with a commission as a Lieutenant. My headcanon is that she and Gabriel actually meet when they each come to SFA for Command Training School. Kat has decided she wants to enter the command track after serving as counselor for a year or so on a Starbase. She’s heard from patients how bad upper leadership leads to a lot of poor decisions in the field, and she feels she can make a positive contribution in this area. More thoughts in my fanfiction at BlackQat on AO3.
What makes me happy about them – They are an age-appropriate couple!! This is pret-ty rare in TV and movies. I note that some actors do seek to have age-appropriate co-stars Cornwell is beautiful, but not a fresh-faced 25-y/o, and sexy Lorca finds her sexy, and yay, there’s hope for women my age, I’m so glad, and that’s why I ship them and write them.
What makes me sad about them – that MU Lorca fucked Cornwell in more than one sense of the word. Bastard! And, that now she feels “my Gabriel is dead.” I really started shipping pretty hard when she said that, and I really hope Season 2 brings us some canon Katriel “more than fuckbuddies” subplots or references.
Things done in fanfic that annoy me – Please, writers, I’m beggin’ ya, PLEASE proofread or have a Beta proof your story. I don’t spend much time on things that aren’t proofed and beta’d. I get too distracted from the story because I’m an editor.
If you love slash don’t read this paragraph which is strictly my opinion – It really annoys me when slash shippers tag their stories as het, then turn it into slash. This is stealthy and uncalled for. When slash shippers try to get hits on their stories by, say, tagging it as Spock/Uhura and then having Uhura “generously step out of the way because she realizes Spock has never really been into her, he’s really into Kirk,” blah blah blah, just so the author’s real OTP [not tagged], K/S, can be the OTP in the story. Feh! Just be honest and tag it as slash.
Things I look for in a fanfic – QUALITY WRITING, good proofreading, and BELIEVABLE CHARACTER PSYCHOLOGY. Also staying fairly true to the characters, maybe pushing the limits, but not too much. [I like to write angsty private Lorca—and the character, so far, is pretty much not so angsty [that was MU Lorca]—yet I still write him as an efficient, sometimes salty captain on the job. [In his private reflections and relationships, though, sometimes, angst.]
I also really love it when an author writes a Trek-like plot, with exploration, a little world-building, or a battle scenario, or alien interactions [something I don’t manage to do that often]. I love romance and angst, occasional fluff, and always, always, a good happy ending or at least a believable and decent resolution for the characters. I don’t like downer endings, but sometimes they’re realistic.
My wishlist – A canon romance for Cornwell and Prime Lorca! But first, FIND PRIME LORCA. He’s fighting alongside the rebels in the MU. He comes back to Prime Uni with Acute Stress Disorder or PTSD. Kat recommends a counselor and checks in with Gabriel to see how it’s going, but not poke her nose into his actual therapy, because that’s not the done thing. Slowly they progress to resume their romance.
Also let’s have another CBSAA series about Pike’s Enterprise. [I know that’s not what you asked.]
Who I’d be comfortable with [my OTP] ending up with, if not each other – Lorca, with Burnham. Cornwell, with … hmmm … unless we go over into cross-over country I just don’t know. Dr. McCoy of AU Trek maybe?
My happily ever after for my OTP – a long-distance romance, occasional meetings on Starbases or Risa or other planets; passionate discussions about Starfleet policy over coffee; passionate other moments [wink-wink-nudge-nudge], shirtless Lorca ;^), followed eventually by retirement somewhere where they can have fun outdoors. I think they’d be hikers and sailors and really dig nature and space travel to many planets.
003. Character
[Ask: Philippa Georgiou]
How I feel about her – the writers gave her a raw deal at the Binary Stars, though she fought like a boss when she fought with T’Kuvma. If only Burnham’s entire subsequent story arc hadn’t depended on her mutiny against a fairly reasonable captain. If only Georgiou had opened with the Vulcan Hello per Burnham’s suggestion and opened negotiations from there. Or discovered the Klingons didn’t want to negotiate, and left the system to regroup with a group of Starfleet ships. OH WELL. Now she’s dead, and that’s really too bad, because she was a good nurturer to Michael. She did let Burnham and Saru bitch at each other too much; I’d have told those two to take it off the Bridge. They were being unprofessional.
Any/all people I ship romantically with her Hmmm. She was a bit of a cipher so far as that went. I feel like she has an old friend / lover she goes on shore leave with. Hetero or bi/pan? IDK. Not sure if she’d have a long-term fully committed relationship; I think she is mother to her crew and that takes much of her emotional energy, but she could’ve been like I hope Gabriel will be and have had a long-distance romance. We have not met a lot of people her age in Discovery except Lorca, Cornwell, and the admirals at Headquarters, and sadly, Georgiou is no more, so the point seems moot.
My fave non-romantic rel for this character – other than “mothering” Michael Burnham, we don’t see a lot of this either. Some fanfic writers have Philippa as Gabriel and Katrina’s Academy classmate, an idea that I really like, although in my fic, she and Katrina are the same age and Gabriel’s a bit younger. [In my headcanon Philippa’s an Academy grad and proceeds straight from there; Kat’s a practicing psychiatrist who goes to Officer Candidate School, getting her commission as a Lieutenant, then straight on to Command Training School – where she meets Lorca and they fall in love.]
My unpopular opinion about this character – she should have listened to Michael and prevented the Battle at the Binary Stars. But could The Vulcan Hello have prevented it? Who knows. The writers had their plans. Alas Philippa paid the price :^( … she need not have died; the fallout from Burnham’s mutiny could have made for some sparks between them before Burnham went off for sentencing, and Michael could have been equally heartbroken that she had sundered her friendship for a battle prevention tactic.
One thing I wish had happened with the chac in canon – That she had listened to Michael. The Klingons might still have fought, but I feel Burnham was right with the Vulcan Hello and would have set the Klingons back a bit. [Shrug] But then there would have been no Lorca rescuing Burnham, no episodes 3 – 15, so … there we are. As I said above, she could have lived.
Favorite friendship for this character – Her friendship with Michael was not one of equals exactly, seeing as their ranks differ greatly. But I like the idea in some fics that she, Lorca and Cornwell are friendly.
My crossover ship – Haha, again, I’ve no idea, I don’t tend to think in those terms. Romantically? Matt Decker, before he lost his crew, got ASD and gave his life heroically to stop the Doomsday Machine, maybe. Or a stellar cartographer.
#fandom and ships#admiral katrina cornwell#captain gabriel lorca#captain philippa georgiou#star trek discovery
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Human Resources, pt10
Word Count: 3578
Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme
Coulson had walked me back to the dorms after our lunch date, and it was everything I had in me to not just drag him into my room. I was not used to men who were so at ease discussing sex, so when he’d said his piece while we were at the sound, it threw my libido into overdrive. I was distracted and unfocused for the rest of the time we were away from the academy. Coulson could tell, and his amusement was obvious. He took great delight in ‘accidentally’ brushing against me in the snug confines of Lola, or pushing the stray curl that always popped out of my ponytail off my face. It was torture. And he knew it. I felt like a horny teenager and very much envied Coulson’s self-control.
Kate and I met for dinner, as usual, and she looked much better for having napped the morning away, but she had the beginnings of a black eye, and her knuckles were raw.
“What the hell happened in hand-to-hand?” I asked, my eyes wide. She laughed.
“So, embarrassing story,” she began. “I was sparring with one of the other women in my group, and I tripped on the cuff of her yoga pants and took her elbow to my face. And then, when I was headed to the change room, I walked into the wall, knuckles first. Needless to say, I am the most hopeless person in hand-to-hand.”
“Are you at the Hub or the Triskelion, Kate?” I asked.
“I was transferred back to the Triskelion about three weeks ago.” Which explained why she was constantly talking about the Hub. She wasn’t used to being back at headquarters.
“I’ll help you. When we get home. We can go to the gym at lunch,” I offered. Her face lit up.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I suspect I’m going to need some distraction when I get back,” I laughed. She raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t get you,” she shook her head.
“What’s there to get?” I shrugged.
“He’s not my type, but you’re obviously into him. Just jump him already.” She took a big bite of her burger and I wondered if she’d been excused from running because of her injury. I still didn’t risk anything heavier than a salad before our evening run, or I worried I would barf.
“It’s not really that easy, Kate. He’s an S.O.”
“And? So is Rick.”
“Coulson is a little more by the book,” I explained.
“I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. You know how I told you Rick was into you a couple days ago? This is a totally different look. Coulson sees you. He’d tear that whole section out of the book if you were so inclined.”
“Really?” I didn’t think he was so attracted to me that he would disregard SHIELD protocols. And Coulson was a hard guy to read, with a fantastic poker face. I mean, it was clear to me he was interested when we were alone. I just didn’t see it when we were around other people.
“Yeah, any time he thinks you aren’t looking. It’s in his eyes. He can’t hide it.” She started on her french fries while I picked at my salad. I looked across the cafeteria, wondering where he was, but quickly realized he was probably out on the bus with his team. I wondered if he and his bottle of scotch would arrive after my run, or if the rumoured ‘war games’ would put a damper on our evening visit.
“So I got to head out for a drive today.” I changed the subject, suddenly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.
“Yeah? Is there anything near here? I’ve been trying to figure out where we are. I keep smelling the ocean. Do you suppose we’re on the west or east coast?” Kate pondered.
“We saw the ocean. It was beautiful. Otherwise there’s really nothing around here,” I admitted.
“Which ocean though?” She asked. I smiled and shook my head.
“No idea.” It was a little white lie, but I didn’t want to share it, despite her clearance. Not because of some SHIELD code of silence, but because it was my discovery, a gift from Coulson that was just for me. I was selfish.
We headed out to the track, but I was lousy company. I was lost in my thoughts. Knowing I was so close to home had been jarring to me, and I was torn between wanting to get back to work and my life, and staying at the academy, taking comfort from the clean air and nourishing land of my childhood. It was ridiculous. Up until seeing that cove, I’d had no idea we were near anything familiar, and now I was desperately homesick. It was a completely unfamiliar emotion, and it was intensifying everything else I was feeling. I’d never been homesick, and was unaccustomed to the tightness in my chest and the pull towards the interior.
I stood on the track and faced east, imagining the highway and backroads that would lead to the city where I grew up. I shook my head and gave myself a stern talking to. There was nothing there for me, and I’d left for a reason. I was obviously exhausted, which was governing my emotions more than I realized. Rick signaled for us to start running and I forced the press of feeling back down into my stomach, hoping to digest it with my salad.
“You’re slower this afternoon, Ellis!” Rick called on my fourth lap. “Pick it up or you’ll be doing extra!”
I fought the urge to flip him the finger and picked up my pace. Kate was dragging too, and I could see she really didn’t have any extra in her. I kept pace with her, deciding if we both had extra laps at the end, at least we wouldn’t be alone. Once we were in the grass, I waited to see if Rick was going to come and give us grief. He didn’t. Instead he called us together to discuss the evening’s plan.
“I know you’ve all been hearing rumours, and I’m going to confirm we’re going to do some night exercises tonight. You can break for now and go have showers, get dried off. Go to bed if you want. Later on, we’ll be mustering you for the exercise. It’s a pretty simple exercise, but it’s tactical. You will need to evacuate your dorm to the airstrip tarmac. Each dorm floor will have a leader, and if you have been selected the floor leader, there will be a red flag on your door when you get back. If you are the floor leader, you need to muster the floor, and make sure you get to the airstrip without losing anyone,” He started. I looked at Kate. The disgust on her face was so obvious that I had to stop myself from laughing at it.
“Will we get any defensive weapons?” One of the guys asked. Jackson chose that moment to arrive, and he stepped up beside Rick to finish orienting us to the task.
“We debated arming you, and have opted not to at this time. If you come in contact with a hostile, you will be dependent on your hand-to-hand to take them out. However, if you are overpowered, you are out, and will be removed to containment for the night,” Jackson explained. Kate groaned.
“Containment for the night?” One of the older women echoed.
“Just until the exercise is over, you will be removed from the playing field. Nothing to be alarmed about,” Jackson reassured her. “There are no off-limits areas, but be forewarned, if you use your personal identification to access passcode restricted areas, you will be caught. Stealth is the most important part of this exercise.”
Kate and I looked at each other and sighed, almost in unison. This was going to suck. Jackson dismissed us and we made our way back to the dorms. I was totally dreading the evening. We stomped up the stairs and turned the corner onto our floor. I could see the red flag through the small glass window of the fire door and sighed heavily.
“Fuck,” I breathed out. Kate opened the door and gave me a sympathetic smile.
“It makes sense, Annie,” she said with familiarity. “You’re the only one on our floor who tested out of hand-to-hand. Go have a shower and get to bed. Who knows how long we have.”
I collected my shower kit and headed off to clean up and get ready. I took the time to make sure my hair was dry. Now that I knew where we were, the erratic early spring weather made more sense, and I didn’t want to risk needing to be outside if it was going to be really cold. And the mist on the sound earlier in the day suggested it might be a cool night. I headed back to my room in my towel and was genuinely surprised to see Coulson lying on my bed reading a book, nerdy glasses on. He looked up and looked back down at his book.
“Do you have something against clothing?” He asked.
“Do you have something against waiting outside?” I replied, and pulled my pyjamas out of the drawer. I pulled them on without disrupting my towel. Coulson clapped when I pulled it off. I hung the towel and my wet gym things up so they could dry before I had to pack them in the morning.
“I see you were marked a team leader,” he commented, snapping his book shut.
“Try to convince me you had nothing to do with that.” I rolled my eyes. He stood up and stepped in close.
“Once your team gets to the checkpoint, you get to go back to bed,” he spoke quietly. “I want to show you something.”
He led me back into the hallway and down the stairs to the basement of the building. Using a similar series of bangs and knocks on the utility room door that he had on the roof door, he jimmied the door open, and led me in by the hand. He turned on a tiny flashlight and latched the door quietly behind us, then led me to the back of the room. It was filled with junk, and cleaning supplies, and furniture parts from the rooms. He pushed aside a wire shelving unit that was covering a door, and jiggled the handle. It squeaked a little, but finally gave way and opened out into the tunnels. I saw the blue line that traced the path to the fitness building. I looked at him in surprise.
“There is a black line on the ceiling. That will lead you to the small hangar, and you can come out up there, and then around the back of the main hangar to check in.” He flashed the light up to the black line. I stared at him, speechless. “What?”
“Are you seriously condoning cheating?” I was incredulous.
“This is a waste of time, personnel and resources. The reality is that if non-operatives are ever imperiled, it is wise to have taught you basic self-defense and weapons literacy, and so I support the objective of these training sessions. But expecting you to be able to move with stealth across a half mile of open terrain is unrealistic and illogical. You will, in a crisis, be expected to find a safe place to hide and only engage with hostiles if necessary,” he explained. “I’m going to help you win so you can help me finish my bottle of scotch tonight.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed.
“You are just not what I thought you were, Phil Coulson.”
“I’ve changed,” he said. “Since I –“
“I like the change,” I interrupted him with a kiss on the cheek. He nodded toward the utility closet, and we headed back up to my room. He stepped inside and kissed me goodnight.
“The alarm will go off in an hour. I’ll see you back here at 2345.” His voice was low so it couldn’t be heard past my door. I nodded as he departed, and once he’d headed down the stairs, I shut my door and lay down with a book. I knew if I tried to sleep, I’d only wake up groggy and useless.
The alarm was shrill and disorienting, even wide awake. I swung open my door, and waited as the other residents mustered themselves. One by one, they trickled into my room, and when I counted ten of us, I shut the door. Kate looked at me expectantly.
“I went exploring tonight. And I found our winning ticket,” I started. Everyone started talking at once. Kate shushed them all so I could continue. “I can get us into the tunnels without having to key in. Now, I’m sure there will be at least one person prowling down there trying to catch us, but it’s dark and there are nooks and crannies everywhere. We’ll pair off and leap frog past each other from corner to corner. Each pair is going to need a flashlight.”
“Won’t flashlights give away our location?” A woman whose name I thought might be Amanda asked.
“Potentially, but here’s the thing. The tunnels are a labyrinth, so the path to each location is marked with a colour-coded line. We need to follow the black line that runs along the ceiling. And you can’t see it in the dark without a flashlight.” I explained.
“How do you know all this?” She demanded, hands on her hips.
“Like I said, I went exploring,” I lied. Kate raised an eyebrow at me but I just gave her a bland look. “Shall we? You have ten minutes. Pair off, go to the bathroom, grab a flashlight, change into dark clothes, grab a sweatshirt if you have one. Kate and I will be just past the basement door.”
Kate looked relieved as the other women trailed back out of my room, murmuring amongst themselves. She was already suitably dressed, which was a relief. We dashed down to the toilets then made our way down the stairs. I looked out the fire window in the door when we got to the main floor, and saw a steady stream of people heading outside. Perfect. No one would notice ten missing women.
When everyone had gathered again, I led us to the utility closet and went through the series of shoves and pushes that unstuck the door. I held the door open while everyone filed in, and then pushed my way through the cramped space to the shelves and got Kate to help me move them. I yarded the hidden door open and slipped out into the dark corridor. There was no one waiting right there, so I was guessing there weren’t many people that knew about our secret exit. It made me think that Coulson had some serious depths that no one was aware of. He must have spent half his time in the academy tracking down places to be away from everyone.
I waved the group forward, and quickly flashed my light up on the ceiling, illuminating the black trail marker. Kate and I headed down the corridor, the rest of the pairs trailing behind. We made it to what appeared to be the turn off to the fitness centre before we saw anyone, but then our luck ran out. There was a pair of agents just off the junction leading to the hangar, and they weren’t moving. I gestured to the group to hide and tucked into a crevice with Kate.
“Okay, this is a huge maze down here. Can you think of anywhere that we might bypass these guys? If we backtrack? Any idea what the red line runs to?” I whispered. Kate nodded.
“The red line leads to the cafeteria. I noticed the day we went to the fitness centre,” she whispered back. I tried to map the tunnels in my head, but couldn’t think of whether the red line would come out after the junction we were at or not.
“What about the yellow one?”
“No idea. Should we risk it?” She responded. I nodded, and we backtracked and collected our group. We found the yellow line and started following it. It snaked across the blue line leading to the pool almost parallel to the black line, and then turned ninety degrees and intersected with the black line. I peered around the corner to see if anyone was nearby. The two agents were less than 100 feet away. I made my way back to the other pairs and explained that they would have to cross the path completely silently, and we would try to trail back later. I was more than impressed when we all made it across without being caught. One of the older women picked up a pebble and leaned back out. I grabbed her arm.
“I play softball. Let me try to distract them,” She whispered. I let go and let her throw the rock. It flew over their heads and landed with a skitter back where we’d been when we first saw them. The two agents looked at one another and took off toward where they’d heard the sound. When we couldn’t see them in the darkness, we streamed out in a long line and ran as quickly as we could down the black line corridor. When I was sure we wouldn’t be spotted, I flashed the light on the ceiling and saw a turn off. It felt as though we’d made it across the track field, so we were probably pretty close to the stairs up to the small hangar. We scuttled down the hall and in a few minutes came to a door. I tried the knob. It was stuck. I checked the hinges and determined it would open away from me, so I leaned on the door hard. It still didn’t budge. Kate leaned against it as well and it made a loud crack before screeching open.
“Well, we’re fucking caught now.” One of the women grumbled from behind me. I hated to agree, but I figured we were screwed. I pushed the door the rest of the way open and looked up the dark staircase. It ran up the outside wall of a building. Just as I was about to lead Kate up, I heard voices.
“Did you hear that?” An unfamiliar male voice asked. I held my breath.
“Hear what?” It sounded like Agent May. We were completely screwed. There were some footsteps, but they stopped short of the corner of the building.
“It sounded like metal on metal. Could someone have got into the tunnels?” He asked. May made a scoffing sound.
“Not without alerting us. There’s no way into the tunnels without keying through,” she said. More footsteps, but they stopped short of the corner too.
“I just want to check that do –“ The guy started.
“Look over by the tarmac fence. There’s someone there!” May interrupted, and I heard them run off. I scrambled up the stairs to check, and they were running toward the fence surrounding the airstrip. I waved everyone up to the top of the stairs.
“Okay, ladies. This is it. The hangar is about 200 feet away. You’re going to have to run for it. I’m no longer responsible for you. Your partner is no longer responsible for you. I’ll make the sacrifice play and run first. If I don’t get caught and it looks clear, run like hell.” I spoke quickly and quietly before turning away and surveying the tarmac. I couldn’t see past the hangar we were hiding behind but there was such a commotion going on at the fence that I didn’t think there was anyone near us. I looked at Kate and she nodded. We crept around the corner and then ran like hell. I thought my lungs were going to explode. We were running as fast as we could toward that hangar, and we hadn’t been doing a lot of ‘running as fast as you can’. I slowed as we got close to the hangar, and turned the corner into the broad airplane opening. I stopped just inside the door, and put my hands on my knees, wheezing. Kate was right beside me, and we gave each other a feeble high five. One by one, the other eight women came gasping through the doors. I looked up and saw Jackson staring at us in amazement. Coulson was beside him smirking.
I walked over to Agent Jackson and smiled.
“Dorm D, third floor. All accounted for,” I gasped. He nodded, still speechless.
“Now what?” Kate asked.
“You could start by telling us how you got here,” Jackson retorted. I laughed.
“We took the tunnels.”
“How the hell did you get in this time?” He asked.
“Utility closet. Are we dismissed?” I was feeling sassy. Jackson was looking pissed off. It made me feel more sassy.
“Fuck. Yeah, go.” He waved me away. I winked at Coulson and turned back to my team. We tromped back out into the night and headed across the tarmac. Agent May approached me and separated me from the group.
“You’re welcome,” she said. I smiled.
“I thought as much. Thanks.” I jogged to catch up to Kate and we made our way back to the dorms.
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change my mind
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin; jikook/kookmin
Genre: Fluff (a lot), college au, friends to lovers
Length: 7k words; 3 chapters | crossposted on ao3
Summary:
“I don’t do relationships,” Jimin spills in the fresh air of the fast food – a mixed smell of hamburgers, ketchup and french fries surrounding them. “I enjoy the conquest and the flirting part better. Relationships are always so boring and predictable. Not to mention most of the times fake.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and laughs, pretending he doesn’t feel his heart clench and slightly sink inside his chest.
“You’re helpless.”
Jimin smiles at him, and it’s almost unfair. “Call me realistic.” he corrects, taking a greasy thumb till his lips to clean it out of the oil of the food. He repeats the same action with the rest of his fingers. Jungkook has to divert his gaze, scared he might end up staring too hard.
He snorts with a made up irritation.
“I call you a pain in the ass.”
“Love means never having to say you're sorry”. It's written with white chalk on the blackboard hanging by the wall a few tables across him. It quotes “love story, 1970” in a smaller calligraphy right beneath the sentence. Jungkook dwells in the words for a while. He observes the vintage posters pending from the newly painted lilac walls around him with a forced interest, as he taps with long fingers on the plastic cup of cola he ordered.
Bullshit, he decides.
What is even supposed to mean? That you can't mess up because you love someone? Or that you can't say sorry, because if someone loves you they instantly forgive you, it doesn’t matter what you did?
Either way, bullshit. People give too much credit for things just for being old.
He sighs, the scent of fresh paint invading his lungs. It used to be baby yellow. The walls. Before the place was just a normal coffee shop and not a fast food with a coupled bookstore.
“It's not going to work out,” Jungkook remembers Namjoon saying when they were passing in front of the place being renovated, “people will have greasy fingers from their hamburgers. How will they touch the books like this? The covers will be all disgusting after some time.”
Jungkook just shrugged back then. He doesn’t really remember if he agreed or not. But, it turns out Namjoon was wrong.
There is a glass wall separating the bookstore from the fast food, so the smell of french fries and cheddar won’t mix with the scent of newly printed copies and fresh ink – also, people has enough sense to clean their hands before moving to the books section, so, by far, the recent business seems to be going very well.
Jungkook can’t decide if he prefers the prettier environment it became after the reform, or the calmness it used to have before the appealing design of modernity attracted an alarming number of people.
Probably the calmness, since it wouldn’t take so long for Jimin to change a wrong order. The waiter had somehow mixed it with someone else's, getting the boy a double chicken with extra cheddar when he had asked for a steak with barbecue sauce and cream cheese.
After opening his hamburger, Jimin had grimaced with the funniest – and maybe kind of cute? – nose scrunch ever. “I hate cheddar.” He stated, as if it wasn’t obvious by the utterly disgusted expression on his face.
Another discovery for his on-making list of things about Park Jimin.
“How dare you?!” Jungkook had brought a hand to his chest at the declaration, just for the sake of accentuating drama. “I trusted you.” He choked out in fake offense, hoping to hear the older boy's laugh.
Unfortunately, he had been given only a faint chuckle followed by a roll of eyes and a “You're an idiot, Jeon. I'll be right back.”, before Jimin got up from his seat and disappeared on his walk till the counter, in search for the right order.
They've known each other for five months now – not that Jungkook is counting, it just happened for them to meet on the exact same day the latest movie of Avengers was out, so it also just happened for him to have the day tracked in his mind. Coincidences of life.
Anyway, it's little time – Jungkook knows –, and it was definitely not enough to deepen their relationship the way he wished – but, nevertheless, it's nice. They are past the awkward silences and the weird topic's conversations it has some time now, and it isn’t like they are the most intimate people in the world, but yeah, they have some intimacy. Enough that Jungkook has grown used to regularly tease Jimin about his height or – this one Jimin hates the most – his fingers.
He bites the inner part of his cheek in order to repress a smile at the memory of Jimin cutely glaring at him with rosy cheeks when Jungkook told him he had baby hands for the first time. He tries not to think about it for too long though, scared he might blush just as hard as Jimin did that day.
There is a foreign song comfortably floating around the place. He is almost sure it belongs to Coldplay, or to a band with equivalent musical genre. It's nice, but he is growing impatient and his lunch is cooling down untouched in front of him – consequently losing half of the unhealthy flavor only a fast food could provide. He wonders if getting up to see how much longer it would take for Jimin to come back would be rude of him. Maybe it would. So instead, he chooses to open the (mostly useless) notifications on his phone.
There's a message from Jin and another from his dad. The one asking if he has eaten belongs to Jin. Not that he is surprised. He smiles, typing 'yes mom' – because well, he is about to –, and decides to ignore the one from his father, which questions him when he is paying them a visit. His smile almost fades, but then he clicks on Jimin's icon, leading to their conversation thread.
Jiminie – 11:45 am
why are you online u kid
shouldn’t u be on class?
You – 11:46 am
i am
and stop calling me kid
Jiminie – 11:46 am
ohhh
seems like we have a rebel here lmao
You – 11:46 am
shut up asdjk
aren't you supposed to be on class too?
Jiminie – 11:47 am
…
You – 11:47 am
;)
Jiminie – 11:47 am
dont you ;) me !!
You – 11:47 am
;)
Jiminie – 11:47 am
ugh
You – 11:49 am
hey
wanna grab some lunch after class?
the fast food that reopened seems nice
Jiminie – 11:49 am
the one across the street?
You – 11:50 am
yea
Jiminie – 11:50 am
do you like being with me that much? ;)
You – 11:50 am
shit up
look who's ;)-ing me now
i just need company to eat
Jiminie – 11:50 am
shit up
You – 11:51 am
!!
istg!!!
Jiminie – 11:51 am
lmao
meet me at 12:30
at the central gate
You – 11:52 am
just changed my mind
im calling someone else, you suck
Jiminie – 11:53 am
yeah right
He didn’t change his mind. Nor did he call someone else. How could he, honestly?
“Hey there.” Jungkook hears the voice he's already so familiar with, and smiles. “I'm back.”
“Oh, nice,” he pretends to check the time on his nonexistent watch. “Just took you a lifetime.”
“Shut up.” Jimin chuckles, taking his seat in front of the younger. “I decided to change my previous order.”
Jungkook leans back on his chair, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head to the side. “No…” he drags the words out, disbeliefed. He had literally taken ten whole minutes to decide his order when they got there.
Jimin giggles, following the same tone in a playful manner. “Yes…”
The younger boy adjusts his posture, eyeing the other with something akin to incredulity.
“How are you the most indecisive person in the whole entire world?!” he jokes, catching some fries from his tray, and shaking his head with a smile.
“I just… like most things on the menu, okay?” Jimin tries to defend himself, sipping his orange juice from the straw. Hates cheddar and loves orange juice. Jungkook gave up on understanding him from there.
“Except–“ he starts, already laughing, but is cut off.
“Except the double chicken with extra cheddar, yes.” The older rolls his eyes, an habit he is very much attached to – almost as much as his uncontrollable urge of running his fingers through his hair. Jungkook is surprised he still haven't done it in, what? Three minutes? “You know, how fucked up is this?” Jimin drops the question, placing his elbow on the table to look at Jungkook with his face leaning on his hand. “The menu has like, at least thirty different hamburgers and mine got to get mixed with the only one I absolutely hate. I'd eat any other one.”
Jungkook laughs at his misery, because they are past the phase where this kind of reaction could be read as rude.
“I guess coincidences are really out there to bite us in the ass in our worst moments.” Jimin sighs, defeated.
Jungkook shakes his head, shoving another portion of fries into his mouth. “Or perharps, you're just the unluckiest person in the world for the day.”
Smiling, the older frowns, and unwraps his hamburger to take a bite. “What's this, a theory?” he asks after swallowing the food – because he's polite, unlike Jungkook, who speaks with his mouth partially full all the time. Not that any of them really cares.
“What do you mean?” Jungkook doesn’t get the line of thought.
“Like…” Jimin shifts on his seat to find a more comfortable position, “Do you think that there is a day for every person in the world to be the unluckiest?”
Jungkook laughs, amused by how a random choice of words he made, aroused this kind of questioning on the boy. “Um, I don’t know? I've never really stopped to think about it, but maybe? It might.” He is about to remove the paper enveloping his own hamburger when an idea surges in his mind and lights up his features. “Oh! How about we do an experience?”
“Experience?” Jimin smiles, never really able to not to when he is around the younger – because there is a thing about Jeon Jungkook that just keeps on impelling his cheeks to rose up and flush without his consent. It'd be frustrating if it wasn’t endearing.
“Yeah, experience! You're our subject. If bad things enough happen to you today, then it's a proven theory.” He nods confidently.
Jimin licks his lips before speaking. “I'm pretty sure every scientist out there in the world would be flattered by our revolutionary method of research.” They laugh, and Jungkook takes the chance to fully stare at Jimin – he is so pretty. However, the older's smile fades way too quickly, replaced by a sudden curious expression when Jungkook unwraps his hamburger. “Oh! Didn’t you tell me you were vegetarian before?” he asks, pointing at the food with a good piece of meat between the breads.
Jungkook archs his eyebrows, genuinely surprised. “Oh? Do you remember that? It was like, months ago.”
Jimin looks away, humming a sort of agreement and Jungkook almost thinks he sees the lightest of the pinks coloring his cheeks.
“Ah…” he tries not to focus on it too much – it might make him delusional –, and concentrates on his response instead. “I don’t… You got it wrong. I'm trying to turn vegetarian. But fast food is kind of the misfortune of my attempts. And the meat here… Well, let's be honest, it doesn’t really tastes like meat.”
The older giggles, sucking more juice from the straw afterwards. “But why did you decide this?” he licks his lips to catch some drops of the juice that accumulated on it and Jungkook has to try unusually hard to not stare.
“Mhm, I…” he clicks his tongue in order to regain his focus and elaborate an answer, “I just… Don’t think eating animals is right.” Clever. Very clever, great job, Jeon. He facepalms himself inwardly. The problem is: he is always put on a challenge whenever he has to explain his ideals – he feels like he's pressured to convince the other person what he believes is right, and this, he just hates. Usually, because people tend to get defensive pretty fast, but also because he understands he can be wrong and that is okay for other people to not follow the same way of living as him. He just believes in what he believes and that's it.
Jimin bites the corner of his lips, looking up thoughtful. “Yeah, but I don’t think anyone thinks it's right? I mean, don’t we just need it? As a vital necessity for our daily pack of energy as humans or something?”
Jungkook decides to finally take a bite of his hamburger. “Not really. I mean,” he swallows, “of course it's important and it helps, but there are many potential substitutes. At least, for me it works. It doesn’t for everyone though. Some people really need it to survive, but since I don’t… what bad it does, right?”
Jimin smiles, genuinely interested and Jungkook stupidly flushes. Seriously.
“What made you get into it?”
“Ah.” he bites his lower lip. It's not a topic he was expecting to talk about while they were eating. “It's a cruel system.” He stops himself when he is about to add an 'I think' in the end of the sentence. It's not an opinion; at least not this. It's the truth. “I kinda got disgusted of eating meat after watching a documentary about the way animals are treated in slaughterhouses. It's… unpleasant to know.”
“Oh.” Jimin puts his lunch down. “I feel bad now.”
“No, don’t feel!” Jungkook hurries. “I mean. Yeah, okay, you can feel, cause it's bad, but it's not like only one person can change the way this industry treats animals by not buying any more meat, so…” He explains. “I understand that, I'm trying to stop just because I truly feel disgusted now. I don’t enjoy the taste. Well, except for this. Fast food is my only weakness. And chicken nuggets.”
Jimin nods and tries to lighten the atmosphere, changing the subject of conversation.
“Oh! Just like soda to me.”
Jungkook archs an eyebrow, ready to tease.
“But you drink beer?” The older doesn’t answer, caught in a trap. “Seems logical.” He laughs hard when Jimin leans over the table to slap his arm.
“Shut up.” He repeats for probably the tenth time that day. “It's addicting.”
“I know. Even though it tastes like shit.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, running his fingers through his hair and pushing his bangs backwards. Oh, there it is. Some strands get back on its place, but his forehead remains mainly exposed. It's a great sight. “Kid.”
Jungkook rushes to defend himself. “M' not! Sayeon-noona is the same age as you and she agrees with me!”
“Another kid!” Jimin accuses and laughs. Jungkook's scowl almost instantly disappears, as he gets busier being overwhelmed by the sound. “How is she, by the way?” How are you two?, he knows it's what it means.
There's a sigh asking for allowance to escape from Jungkook's throat, but he reprimands it.
“I guess we're really just friends, after all. We don't work out as a couple.”
Jimin hums. “I'm… sorry to hear that.”
“No, it's okay, truly. It's nice like this.” Jungkook takes the chance to sip another gulp on his drink, before asking, “What about you?”
Jimin purses his lips to contain a smile, while shaking his head to the sides. His bangs move cutely, falling over his forehead again – almost calling for Jungkook's fingers to move them aside, so his beautiful skin can be fully on display once more. He swallows the urge, taking his hand to scratch his nape instead.
“I'm the unromantic romantic type.” Jimin muses, and Jungkook frowns.
“What?” he laughs, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t do relationships,” he states and Jungkook can almost feel his heart sinking at the words, but he pretends it's the ghostly sensation of the soda's gas on his throat. “Cause I enjoy the conquest and flirting part better.”
The boy is suddenly amused at the reason.
“Why?”
Jimin clicks his tongue. “I like the nervousness of the unknown. The fluttering heart and the stomach's butterflies at the beginning. But that's it. I don’t like what comes next. The boredom of relationship, always so predictable and…? I don’t know, I don’t like it.”
Jungkook nods understandingly, but not really agreeing. “It isn’t always like that, though, you know?”
“Oh, please.” Jimin smiles. “You know it is.”
“It's not!” Jungkook is smiling too, but he feels defensive, ready to stand for his point of view. “If your relationships are being predictable and boring, then you're dating wrong.”
Jimin chews on a lonesome fry, before letting out, “Uh, I never dated.”
He takes a moment to absorb the information. Park Jimin never… What?
Jeon Jungkook is beyond offended. He stares at Jimin for a long second – mouth gaping for effect –, before playfully slamming his fist on the table with a fake angry expression, dragging the most gorgeous and contagious laugh ever out of Jimin's throat. He almost forgets what he is doing when the older squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back, having Jungkook's own lips unconsciously quirking upwards into a giggle as he watches him. When Jimin composes himself again, Jungkook continues dramatically.
“How can you possibly say you hate, with capital h, relationships, when you have never even once experienced one?!”
Jimin shrugs, nonchalantly – yet, still with remainings of a playful chuckle on his features.
“I just know.”
“That's aburd. And impossible.” He emphasizes.
“It is not!” It's Jimin's turn to stand for what he believes, it seems. “You have to agree with me that the flirting part is the best one.”
Jungkook ponders for a second, just to sigh defeated on the other, already flashing a victorious smirk on his hyung's lips. “Well, yes, but only because I've been through a lot of shitty relationships.”
“Jungkook… My dearest dear Jungkook… Let's be honest here.” Jimin closes his eyes while holding Jungkook's wrists for drama's sake, and then sighs even more dramatically when he blinks his eyes open to look at him again. “Every relationship is shitty.”
Jungkook snorts. “Hyung! You're being very unfair and unconsiderate with every healthy and happy relationship out there in the world!”
Jimin laughs. “Which is none.”
“I'm offended.” Jungkook says, looking away with a pout and crossed arms, getting Jimin extra aware on his seat.
“Wait, for real?”
The boy eyes him, reluctant on his play. “No, but…” he lets his arm fall, already giving up on the act. “I mean, come on, there must be a relationship you look at and say, 'that's it, relationship goals'.”
Jimin fakes a gag and Jungkook can’t help but chuckle at the sight. Fucking idiot. “Thankfully never.”
“You're helpless.”
“Call me realistic.” Jimin corrects him, taking a thumb till his lips to clean it out of the oil of the food. He repeats the same thing with the rest of his fingers. Jungkook diverts his gaze, scared he might end up staring too hard.
“I call you a pain in the ass. Outch!” he complains when Jimin punches his shoulder – even though it didn't really hurt.
“Respect your hyung, brat.”
It's Jungkook's turn to roll his eyes – although, he keeps silent, eating the remainings of his now withered fries, and drinking the rest of his cola, hamburger already being digested inside his stomach.
Jimin, however, is still on half of his burger, almost all of his fries out of the red container and scattered over his tray.
“How do you eat so slowly?!” Jungkook asks, nearly shocked.
Jimin answers him mouthful for the first time and Jungkook has to bite back a smile at his puffed cheeks. “Well, I'm sorry if I don’t eat like a starving tinasor!”
Jungkook furrows his brows. “A tinawhat?”
He swallows before speaking again. “Dinosaur!”
The younger takes a hand to his chest, faking offense. “I don’t eat like a starving dinosaur! You're the one who eats like a slug!”
Jimin rolls his eyes at him and sticks out his tongue. Jungkook has to chuckle in order to pretend he's not on the verge of melting.
“You're so cute.” He lets out before his mind processes it. Well, shit. “I mean,” he tries to correct it, but just ends up pointing at Jimin's entire face. “Cute.”
The black haired boy flushes so hard even his ears turn pink. “Shut up.” He mutters a second before taking the white straw to his mouth, the plastic turning orange when he sucks the liquid from the cup. He has such nice lips it's distracting. Jungkook misses the chance to tease him for blushing thanks to it.
“Uh.” He forces a cough. “So.” And scratches the back of his neck, because it's terribly itching all of a sudden.
Jimin's phone vibrating on the table saves him from the embarrassment and also from an awkward silence it was for sure going to settle on the table.
The older takes the gadget on his free hand and presses the side button so the lockscreen lights up.
“Ah!” Jimin groans, throwing his head back.
Curious, Jungkook leans his cheek on the palm of his hand and asks, “What is it?”
Jimin snorts, seemingly annoyed. “This guy.” He doesn’t look back at Jungkook to answer, busy trying to type something on the phone with a single hand. “I told him I didn’t want nothing serious, but now that we fucked he keeps on texting me, asking me to go out with him and shit.”
The younger nods, and bites the inner part of his bottom lip, pondering what to say.
He almost smiles, dying to tease with an “are you that good?!” – but ends up choosing the most secure option. “Why don’t you?”
“Dates sucks. And the whole idea of going out already fades the conquest.”
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows for probably the tenth time on the day – his never ending battle of trying to understand Park Jimin – and reclines on the backrest.
“Um, no?”
Jimin turns his attention back at him. “Um, yes?” He places the phone on the table. “I mean, if you're going out with someone it means the flirting is done, because well, the purpose of flirting is getting a date. Or getting laid.” He adds thoughtfully. “Which I already did. So now it means feelings are about to be involved, and no, thanks.” He emphasizes the last two words and takes another bite of his hamburger, chewing on it while waiting for Jungkook's response, who can only roll his eyes.
“Ah, hyung.” He snorts, letting his head fall in defeat. “Why are you like this? Have you even gone to a date, at least? Or you just hate it based on nothing?”
Jimin straightens his back, and acts as if he's very offended. “Excuse me? It's not based on nothing. I've analyzed it with my own eyes, you just have to look around.” And so, Jungkook does. Jimin watches him with something akin to amusement on his face. “Not literally, idiot.”
“No, let's do this.” Jungkook decides, looking for a table with couple vibes. “There!” He excitedly bounces on his seat once, turning back to Jimin to make sure he is looking the right people. “Those two.”
Jimin shakes his head in confusion. “What?”
And with no further explanation, Jungkook simply gets up and gestures for Jimin to follow him. “Wh-what, Jungkook!” He quickly gets up when he realizes the boy intends to walk over to the two girls at the other side of the restaurant. “What the hell, are you crazy?!” He hurries to grab the younger's arm with both hands, attempting to pull him back to his chair. There are firm muscles bulging against his palms, but he ignores it with a gulp.
“What?” he asks indifferently. “I'mma just ask them some things.” He has a calm expression on his face, as if he's not about to approach two strangers about their supposed love life.
Jimin laughs with incredulity. “Yeah, not happening.” He tugs at the arm more insistently. Jungkook doesn’t flinch a centimeter.
“What, why not?” Shining, big doe eyes winks back at him innocently and Jimin can’t decide if the he is naive or just dumb.
“Um, because that's very impolite? And extremely invasive.” Jimin eyes the couple discreetly for a second. The girl with blonde short hair is leaning with forearms on the table, attentively listening to what the other is saying, and adorning a tender smile across her pink lips. Jimin can’t see the face of the one speaking, but her long hair lays on her back in soft bluish curls. They both seem very pretty. “You also don’t even know if they’re like… a thing.”
Jimin finds himself turning his attention back to Jungkook just in time to catch the boy rolling his eyes. It's annoyingly cute. “Oh, please. Just look at them, of course they're a thing.” He doesn’t find much argument against that. He might have never allowed himself to fall in love in his life, but he does recognize a fluttering heart shinning through enamored eyes when he sees one. “Besides, what the hell do you think I'm gonna ask them?! Their sexual lives? No, thanks, Namjoon-hyung's story of his first time eating a guy's ass is traumatic enough.”
A grossed out expression makes its way across Jimin's features. “Dude. Thanks for the unnecessary information.”
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, smiling sarcastically. Jimin wants to punch it out of his face. With his mouth. Maybe.
“You're welcome. Now come.”
He's about to complain and step back when Jungkook suddenly grabs his hand and interlocks their fingers. The world kind of spins in a soft blur for a moment and his eyes instantly fall down to it – intertwined fingers clasped together; Jungkook holding firm and he loosely –, which gets his stomach to clench very weirdly.
Oh, shit.
However, he doesn’t have much time to dwell on how smooth, warm and soft Jungkook's skin feels against his, cause one second he's wondering how it'd feel pressed on his nape – or waist, maybe? – while they make out, and the other he's put in front of two very confused, unknown girls.
He forces out a smile to the strangers after a second of hesitation, doing his best at crushing Jungkook's fingers on his, hidden behind their backs.
“Hah!” the younger loudly gasps, startling the girls and pulling his hand away from Jimin's grip, quickly forcing a smile on his lips as well. Jimin hopes he felt a lot of pain. Jungkook takes the embarrassing moment to bow in greeting, so Jimin follows suit. “Hello, nice to meet you two. I'm, uh, I'm Jungkook and this is my friend, Jimin.” Jimin lightly leans his head forward again, a low mutter of something that seems “nice to meet you” falling from his lips.
The two girls bow back uncertainly and stare at the both of them in silence.
God. Jimin never wanted to deck someone in the face so bad – Jungkook, deck Jungkook, not the girls, for god's sake.
Yet, he chooses to poke him with his elbow instead. For the time being.
“Ah!” the idiot jolts, clapping his hands once in front of his body, obviously trying to come out with something to say. Jimin is sure he could bury his whole self in pure embarrassment right now. He's already blushing hard enough for the two of them anyway. “I'm sorry to, um, interrupt your meal, it's just that me– Me and my friend,” he reiterates, pulling Jimin closer and Jimin really has to manage all of his self control to not kill the boy right there. “We were talking about dates and we got onto a disagreement, so we're doing… research.”
Jimin turns to look at him, a smile that says “I'm so going to murder you” hanging on his lips. “We are?”
“Ah. Yes.” Jungkook laughs the threat away. “So, anyway, since you two seemed to be on a really nice date, we thought–“
“Oh.” The short haired girl's voice surges for the first time. She takes a hand to her chest and laughs, seemingly relieved. “Thank god, I thought you were trying to hit on us.”
If Jimin's cheeks were flushed before, now they are the red of the flames in hell itself.
The other girl also laughs, and gestures with her hand to the both of them. “I'm Eunji and she's Hyerin. But, um, actually… We're not on a date.”
Jungkook snaps his head back just the slightest, surprised. “Oh.” He voices out innocently, exactly like a kid who just discovered the ocean is only blue because it reflects the sky. Jimin would find it adorable if he wasn't, you know, dying. “Ah, sorry, we thought– Well, that's not a problem, really.” Jungkook smiles. “Can you still answer our questions, though?”
Jimin facepalms himself. Literally speaking. “Please, just say yes, so we can leave and I can kill him after this.” His voice comes out muffled, but he can hear giggles, which means it was audible enough.
“Yeah, sure.” One of them say. Jimin finds out it's the one with the blue highlights when he takes his hand out of his face. Eunji, right? “What is it?”
He finds himself curious, considering he also has no idea what Jungkook is about to ask, so he redirects his attention to him.
“Ah, it's truly just one question.” The boy admits, and Jimin could easily mistake the way he is scratching his neck with nervousness. He watches Jungkook open his mouth once and then be caught in a loss of words, as if he is reconsidering what he's about to ask. Jimin doesn’t have time to say anything though – the younger is quick to talk again. “Do you think dates erase the whole meaning of flirting?”
Yes, it's his immediate thought.
He halfheartedly shifts his gaze from Jungkook's profile to the girls, so he can see their reactions. Hyerin is the first to answer – she has her head tilted a bit to the side in thought, with a pair of furrowed brows. Jimin feels a faint smile forming on his lips, because she's cute.
“I think it depends? It's the first date? Second?”
Eunji intervenes. “Why would that matter?”
Jimin kind of knows why, but he doesn’t want to interfere in their path of discussion.
“Well, if it's the first date maybe not, but if it's the sixth then probably?” He nods, as it was exactly what he was thinking. However, Jungkook doesn’t seem to agree beside him, if the way he keeps on changing his weight from a feet to another is anything to tell. “I mean, if you got to the sixth date, there's a high chance that you're, well, dating.” Hyerin concludes, and Jimin takes the chance to subtly glance at Jungkook, but the boy is still resolute in his opinion, it seems.
Eunji is the same apparently, as she places her palm on the table and gapes at Hyerin for a second, almost offended. “Excuse me, but what makes you think couples can't flirt at all? My parents are married for 20 years and they flirt all the time!”
“Yes, my grandparents too!” Jungkook decides to buy Eunji's fight, so Jimin steps in.
“It's not the same.” Although, he is surprised as Hyerin says the very same thing as him in complete sync. They look at each other with open mouths, right before chuckling and high-fiving.
“When you flirt with someone you're already dating, it doesn’t really hold the whole meaning of flirting, since the purpose is making the person whom you flirt with fall in love with you.” she concludes and Jimin almost thinks Eunji doesn't have any other argument to beat this one – except she does.
“Well, but you can fall in love with the same person everyday.”
And this seems to be the actual K.O., given how Hyerin intensely blushes, ducking her head down and Eunji smiles victoriously. So they're actually on a date, Jimin realizes with a smile on his face that warms all the way to his chest.
Smart as ever, Jungkook doesn’t seem to catch on that, smirking at Jimin and quirking his eyebrows twice with a hidden teasing that says “see?”, since he thinks they won the argument. Jimin rolls his eyes just because.
Hopeless romantics.
“Anyway, in which context did this surge?” Hyerin is quick to ask in order to not let an awkward silence stretches on the table, but just after the words leaves her mouth she seems to realize how they actually sounded. “Oh, sorry, I-I didn’t mean to be rude or intrude, I was just curious.”
“It's okay.” Jimin reassures with a warm smile, and when he is about to tell her and reasonably explain his point, Jungkook decides to be a dick and paint him as the shallow asshole by cutting him off before he even started talking.
“He hates relationships. And he thinks dates sucks.”
Jimin punchs his arm, embarrassed. “Yah!” His cheeks feels warm and the grin Jungkook gifts him with does nothing to ease it.
“What?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot. “It's your own words! Do they sound completely heartless when I say it to other people?” Jungkook teases and Jimin purses his lips, focusing really hard on stopping blushing so he doesn’t make a fool of himself.
“Shut up, I have plenty of reasons.” Jimin emphasizes and Jungkook mocks him by pinching his cheek in front of two strangers. Oh boy, he's dead.
“Mhm-mhm, I bet you do, you red baby.” He coos.
Oh boy, he's dead.
“Oh, we have similar opinions,” Hyerin's voice snaps them out of their personal bubble, “but I don’t think dates sucks.”
Jimin sighs. He is alone in this battle, apparently.
“But you used to!” Eunji points an accusing finger at the short haired girl. She rolls her eyes, but there's a hint of a smile on her lips.
“Well, but I don’t anymore!” Hyerin protests in her own defense. “Stop exposing me.” she mutters.
“But what made you change your mind?” Jungkook asks, genuinely curious. “About dates, I mean.”
“Well,” Eunji starts in Hyerin's place. “I guess she had to go through a series of many awesome dates, right?” They share an accomplice gaze and Jimin knows it's time for them to leave the girls alone again.
“Okay, so. Thank you so much for helping with this idiot's “research”, I'm sure he'll make good use of it being a pain in the ass later.” The girls smile sincerely, politely bowing their heads afterwards. Jimin places a hand on Jungkook's back motioning for him to move back to their table. When he starts walking, Jimin takes a second to lean down a little and whisper so only the girls can hear him, “Enjoy your date.”
Hyerin cheeks turns pink instantly, but Eunji simply waves at him, a loving smile adorning her features. “You too.” she whispers back. Before Jimin can clarify he and Jungkook aren’t on a date, said boy holds his waist and waves the girls goodbye over their shoulders.
“Thank you!” the younger makes sure to give them his brightest smile. Jimin isn’t able to catch it in full hd though, because Jungkook’s hand on his waist is currently making the skin beneath his jacket tingle in a funny way. ”What did you whisper to them?” the boy questions when they are almost at their table.
Jimin has to pull up a small battle with his brain to detach himself from Jungkook's touch so he can reach his seat. He waits for Jungkook to do the same to speak. “I told them to have a good date.”
The boy in front of him seems very shocked, much for Jimin's amusement. He chews on a now very cold fry, waiting for Jungkook’s answer.
“What– how rude! Hyung, they told us they were not on a date!”
Oh god, was he still clueless? For real? Jimin swallows.
“Jungkookie. They are on a date.”
“Bullshit, they're not–“ he insists confidently at first, but as soon as he turns his body back to take a glance at the girls and spots their shy hands curling in one another, he gulps his previous words. “Shit, they're on a date.”
“No joke, Einstein.” Jimin teases. “Now stop staring, they just stopped thinking we're weird and I'd like to keep that way, thank you.”
Jungkook does as he's asked, but Jimin can see a hint of offense on his eyes. “They lied to us. Why would they do that?” He shoots Jungkook a face, and the offense painted on the younger's face only grows ten thousands bigger. He places a hand over his chest and almost chokes out, “Do we look like homophobes?!”
Jimin rolls his eyes at the boy's innocence. “Jungkook, seriously, when you go out with someone of the same sex as you in an homophobic country, everyone around you looks like homophobes. I thought you would know that.”
“Oh.” His face softens. “Right.” And then he smiles. “That's good, then, they form such a cute couple.”
Jimin hums agreeing, finally finishing his hamburger with a last bite. His fingers are greasy, so he takes a napkin to clean them and when he looks up, Jungkook smiles a smile with no teeth that makes his cheeks plump up like two little red apples. Jimin knows that smile. He's seen it before.
“What?” he asks cautiously, sensing an idea forming in the younger's mind. He's planning something. Something stupid, probably.
Once, they were trying to chill in an ice cream shop with Taehyung. Jimin remembers the day was unbearably scorching – and even inside the refrigerated place, there were droplets of sweat forming on the back of his neck, turning the tips of his hair humid. They were talking and trying to distract themselves from the heat as well from the upcoming finals.
The topic of the conversation was human beings physical limitations. Don’t ask him how they got there, they just did. Apart from the hot weather, the atmosphere was nice and cozy; their fingers and lips smeared with sweet, Taehyung being the messiest of the three – but that was no news –, and their voices occasionally overlapping one another as they shot random guesses of how much ice cream a person could eat in one sitting. When a mutual agreement – between Jimin and Taehyung – settled that 15 scoops was the limit, the table fell in silence. Jungkook wasn’t pleased. He stared at the older boys with a cocky wriggle of eyebrow and then smiled the way he was smiling now. Before anyone could even say a word, he called for the waitress and well, proved Jimin and Taehyung were wrong by eating twenty scoops of ice cream. Twenty. Jimin almost felt impelled to go and eat twenty one just because, but he wasn’t that suicidal.
“What do you have on your schedule today?” Jungkook asks, leaning his head on his hand and blinking his eyelashes in a way it's kind of hard to stare at without getting a heartbeat to skip.
A seminar to finish, dance practice for the upcoming performance and a good lay at night, he remembers.
“Nothing.” he answers, “Why?”
At that, Jungkook's smile grows so wide Jimin's heart clenches and it's awkward, because what the hell. However, he has no time to freak out since Jungkook is suddenly grabbing their personal belongings and shoving it all down his backpack.
“What are you doing?” his voice sounds genuinely confused, just how he feels.
“Come.” The younger simply gets up and says – as if it's very self explainable –, looking around the table and tapping his pockets to check if everything's there. When Jimin keeps his butt glued to the chair, Jungkook diverts his focus to him. “You're not coming?” he seems puzzled and maybe a bit taken aback, but that’s probably just Jimin reading his actions too deeply.
“Coming where?”
And that’s when Jimin has to hold back all his oxygen inside his lungs in order to keep a straight expression, because all of a sudden Jungkook places one hand on the chair's backrest, another on the table and leans down so fast his face is found just inches away from Jimin's. He almost gasps, but he knows his self control better, so he quickly finds his composure again.
“To the mall.” Jimin's mind suffer an abrupt short circuit, because is Jungkook really planning on doing what I think he's planning to do. “I'm gonna be your cupid.”
Oh. Well, he's not, but wait–
“What?!”
The younger straightens his column with a smile, hands hiding in his pockets.
“I'll be your cupid.” He repeats plainly, something hidden in the way his lips curve at just the right angle to form a timid dimple. “Let's find you a date. That's the only way we can know who's right.”
Jimin laughs with incredulity. “Would you go that far just to prove a point?!” That's when he sees a chance to tease. And he takes it. “Are you sure you're not just using this as an excuse to take me out?” He gets up, and even though Jungkook is taller, this time, the proximity seems to disconcert the younger.
It lasts such a short second, though, just like it did with Jimin. Apparently, they're playing games and well that's Jimin's language. He smirks, and so does Jungkook.
“It's not like I have to find an excuse to take you out, is it?” he whispers closer to his face. Jimin is left back shocked at the boldness, since Jungkook pulls away just as fast, switching his tone and consequently the atmosphere. “And of course I'm serious!” he steps backwards at the cashier's direction. “Let's go, it's gonna be new. That's the synonymous of exciting to you, right?” he turns around in order to walk properly and misses Jimin rolling of eyes at him, but Jimin's pretty sure it was purposeful. He rolls his eyes one more time, following the younger nevertheless – and it's not like he doesn’t realize the bothersome tugging at his chest, but he decides to settle on it being simple anticipation. Maybe Jungkook's right and new is really another word for excitement to him. Not that he is letting him know he's right.
When Jimin reachs the boy at the front counter, Jungkook's money is already being handed to the lady behind the computer.
“Yah!” Jimin reprimands him. “What are you doing, idiot? Told you it's my treat!"
“Of course not.” Jungkook looks back at him. “I invited you, so I pay.”
Jimin shakes his head, insistent – not like it's useful, since the woman is already giving Jungkook the change and thanking him. But no dongsaeng has ever paid for him – not even Taehyung. It's somewhat intimate, and it unsettles him.
“I'm the hyung.” He says.
“So?” Jungkook puts the money back on his wallet and then snorts. “Aish, stop being difficult, you're the only person I know who complains for getting free food.” There's a couple of young teenagers already waiting behind them to pay, so Jungkook bows for the lady who attended to him and walks towards the exit. Jimin follows suit, maintaining his lowkey sulking mode.
“We're probably proving that theory right by the end of the day and I'm really the unluckiest person in the world today.” Jungkook isn’t sure if's he's more of pouting or talking. Either way, it's adorable. He fights the urge to squish his hyung's cheeks, and decides on bending down instead, putting them on eye level.
“Don’t be like that…” he trails, entertained by the way Jimin's eyes widen slightly and his bottom lip is sucked inside his mouth. “You're spending the entire day with me.” He reminds him. When Jimin releases the flesh, it comes back a flushing red. “It's not that bad, right?”
Smiling amused, Jungkook does exactly what he did minutes ago, and gives Jimin his back – instead this time, he does catches the elder rolling his eyes. Within the cutest pair of rosy cheeks coming along on the package. Too bad he misses the loving smile sprawling on Jimin's lips when he turns arounds.
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Hello! I love Chancellor!Obi-Wan ! I have a question though, we all know that sometimes Anakin has visions, right? But, what about Obi-Wan? 'Cause on the expanded universe, he is decribed to be very much in tune with the Unifing Force, wich is what grants Jedi and Sith, force visions... They say that since he was very young he was plagued by very strong visions... Is something like that going to be important at one point in this AU?
Well. Let’s start with Obi-Wan shall we?
I have no set headcanon on how prone to visions and stuff Obi-Wan is, but I am at the very least a believer in him having fairly decent precognition/prescience. Y’know, like his “bad feeling” during the Naboo crisis.
We’ve actually seen a bit of this in Chancellor Kenobi. For example: when he ducks during the first assassination attempt.
As for actual visions… nah, I have no plans to bring that into this verse. Right now, anyway.
Now on to Anakin.
Anakin, Anakin, Anakin…
Please don’t come after me for this, but: I don’t think Anakin gets Force visions.
Read my long-winded explanation beneath the cut. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Aight, so you might be thinking “Stone, wtf. Anakin has those dreams about his mom and later about Padmé! What are you smoking?”
Well, I don’t think they’re Force visions. There. I said it.
“But Yoda told him to be careful when sensing the future!”
Yeah, obviously. But it’s not like Yoda could be sure whether or not Anakin was really sensing the future or not, he’s not omniscient. Better safe than sorry. Especially when the dreams are about pain and suffering but considering that they’re at war and Anakin never says he thinks it’s from childbirth, obvs Yoda’s advice lacked a few necessary extra steps like “Take that friend to the Healers, you should. Double check their health, you should.” before the part about learning to let go and all that with its shade of “forgetting that not everyone else lives for centuries and has a different reference for the passage of time as well as life and death” lmao
Also, if Anakin was prone to visions, I’m pretty sure Obi-Wan wouldn’t be treating Anakin’s dreams about his mom as just dreams. It’d kinda be his responsibility and duty to check for that, so he’d probably ask for more details and ensure they’re not visions. Also, Anakin probably would have called it visions rather than dreams. But whatevs, lol.
So if we exclude Force visions from the explanation of Anakin’s dreams, what other explanation is there for him having them in the first place?
Well, from a Doylist/extradiegetic perspective the dreams serve a very specific function:
Anakin’s dreams about his mom, and the later discovery of her kidnapping and death, is only in AotC in order to set up the dreams in RotS. If the Tatooine business in AotC didn’t happen, the audience wouldn’t recognise “Anakin’s having dreams” as anything of worth. It would also be a bit confusing as to why he’s putting so much energy and basically laying everything in his whole life on the line over dreams.
So the dreams about Shmi + what happens on Tatooine exist to make the audience go “OH NO, WAIT, REMEMBER AOTC! IS PADMÉ GONNA DIE?!”
The dreams about Padmé serves to make the audience see why Anakin decides to do what he does.
From a Watsonian/intradiegetic perspective, however, things are a bit different.
Let’s begin with the dreams about Shmi.
They could just be force visions, absolutely. But as we’ve removed that from the list of possibilities for now, what remains is two options that I will explain.
1) Shmi is Force sensitive.
This idea is one of those that I can’t say for sure work because keeping track of time in Star Wars is a crap shoot at best. However, we know that Shmi has been gone for a month, because Cliegg says so.
In star wars, from what I can find, a month is 7 weeks of 5 day weeks. Aka 35 days. Then there’s the travel times, I’ve based it on this post, because what else would I use, as well as this map and this map.
Basically, from Coruscant (Core) to Naboo (Mid Rim) it’s about 84 hours of pure travel time, that’s 3.5 days. From Naboo (Mid Rim) to Tatooine (Outer Rim) it’s supposedly 24 hours, aka one day.
So that’s 4.5 days, let’s say 5 days (a week), of pure travel time.
That still leaves 6 weeks, 30 days, for: Anakin dreaming, mission days on Coruscant, and hanging out on Naboo. Aka more than enough time for the timeline to work out; in fact, it would even if you were to go really on the safe side and set two weeks for travel times instead.
So why the fuck did I check travel times and timeline for this, you might ask? Well, this idea is based on Shmi being Force sensitive. When she’s kidnapped and hurt, she subconsciously calls out for her son, who she so dearly would like to see at least one last time before she dies. She does so through the Force, and reaches Anakin through his dreams. She calls for him, and she’s in pain, of course that would make the dreams seem scary. Even if Anakin doesn’t know that she’s dying at first.
Considering that Anakin’s dreams seem to be progressively getting worse, that could be connected to Shmi being progressively more hurt and closer to dying.
That’s why the timeline is important here. If there hadn’t been enough time for the travels and stuff, the idea would be bust simply because Shmi would have gone missing after Anakin started having the dreams.
But as I said before, we have no such issues and this is a perfectly plausible Watsonian explanation. Especially since we’ve already seen that Force sensitivity is a bit hereditary in the Skywalker line: Anakin -> Luke & Leia -> Kylo Ren. Why not add Shmi to that?
So that’s one explanation!
2) Palpatine did it.
Of course this is an explanation. Palpatine could very well have set everything up, both with Shmi’s kidnapping (Force compulsion on the Tusken) and then ensuring Shmi stays alive long enough for Anakin to get there (after all, Darth Plagueis did learn how to keep people from death, didn’t he? Who says Sidious didn’t learn to do that too?).
Because really, how convenient was it that Shmi died just moments after Anakin finally reached her? Unless, whatever kept her alive felt Anakin reach her and stopped doing the whole “keeping her alive” thing.
After all, Palpatine wants Anakin to Fall and lose his shit. Setting up the death of Anakin’s mother is certainly not unthinkable for Palpatine.
Not to mention, the first time Anakin dreams about his mother being in pain and suffering calling out for help, is after he and Obi-Wan has been separated. Which could hint that well, finally time for Palps to make his move and ensure Anakin really goes to Tatooine. Because again, it’s really convenient that he dreams about his mother actually dying only now.
After all, Palpatine would want to make damn sure Anakin goes looking by making sure he dreams about more specific Bad Shit™, but if Anakin had dreamt about his mother dying while still with Obi-Wan, the latter would likely make sure they check that shit out “just in case” rather than say dreams pass in time—which is a totally valid thing to say when Anakin is just dreaming about his mom, and it could be memories for all Obi-Wan knows—which would be bad since Anakin probably wouldn’t go on to commit mass murder when Obi-Wan is right there.
ANYWAY.
So those are two plausible Watsonian explanations for Anakin’s dreams about Shmi that aren’t “Force visions”.
Next we move on to the dreams about Padmé dying in childbirth. So what’s my “not Force visions” explanation for this one?
Palpatine did it.
Of course it is. Considering everything else Palpatine has done, this really shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would.
But you might think “but the dreams about Padmé came true though! They even had Obi-Wan there!”, but I’d say that’s not actually correct.
1) Padmé doesn’t die in childbirth. Literally, does not die in childbirth. (Ofc, that could just be Anakin’s interpretation of the dreams). The med droid says “Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her.” and then they said they should operate immediately save the twins, because Padmé isn’t even in labour (I think it looks like they end up inducing actual labour instead of just doing a c-section… or else it’s a Space C-section). They said something about her having lost the will to live too. Palpatine did it
2) Yes, Obi-Wan is there, but that’s just about the only thing the dreams get right. Everything else is wrong.
The first dream has Padmé crying out “Anakin, help me!” which she does not. The next has Obi-Wan saying “Save your energy”, which he does not, and she answers him with “I can’t!” which she does not, and then he says “Don’t give up, Padmé.” which he also does not. So the dreams get way more things wrong than they do right.
Ofc, Obi-Wan being in the dreams makes Anakin suspicious and like “Obi-Wan was here.” and then goes on to say that “Obi-Wan and the Council don’t trust me.” despite everything Obi-Wan said before he left for Utapau.
3) Obi-Wan being in the dream and Padmé still dying lends a lot of credence to the “the Jedi can’t save her” thing Palpatine implies. After all, if Anakin’s dreams about Padmé dying has Obi-Wan being RIGHT THERE, then clearly Palpatine is right when he says that you can’t learn to keep someone from dying from a Jedi. Otherwise Obi-Wan would know and save her, right?
ALSO, both dreams happen after Anakin was recently in Palpatine’s presence, so bonus points for that, lmao.
Anyway, it’s 100% possible that I’ve forgotten something that breaks my whole argument, but whatevs. This is my take on it, lmao
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi#star wars#canon speculation#meta#so much speculation#visions#precognition#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#I got an ask!#anonymous#absolutely not what the anon asked for#sometimes i have opinions#and thoughts#sorry#lmao
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Obama, TMZ & Dinner
I just need to blow off a little steam I think. It’s been a trying day. I had my re-scheduled post op apt today. I had Ashley drive me and when I got there my dr had to leave for an emergency c-section. Long drive for nothing. And I am sore from it. Mom was here. She’s a real joy. She’s officially moved into old people territory. She told me that Obama keeps making the doctor’s office call her because she needs to come in for bloodwork. I tried to explain to her that it was NOT Obama making the doctor call her to schedule an appointment but, no dice. It was for sure Obama. She fell almost two weeks ago, she is still hurting from it. You need to go get an xray I tell her. No, then I’ll have to tell them I fell and they’ll put it in my record. What the hell are you talking about mom? I couldn’t help myself at that point. They don’t keep track and penalize people because of how clumsy they are…yet. Imagine me running around a room of oblivious people screaming at the top of my lungs and pulling my hair, because internally that’s what was going down. She also shared with us that she enjoys watching TMZ today because they have interesting things on there. This explains so much about my mother. Between Dr. Oz, TMZ, the Discovery Channel and broadcast news she comes up with some pretty bizarre theories. I’m also pretty sure they’re all geared to make me lose my shit.
Then the hubs came home early to get his hair cut. It takes him 40 minutes, 40 MINUTES to get his hair cut. Keep in mind, his head is basically buzzed. It’s like an eighth of an inch all over. What the fuck is he doing for 40 minutes at a beauty shop? I’ll tell you what he’s doing. Working his fucking jaw. That man talks to women more than any man I’ve ever known. Yak yak yak. For all this talking to the female sex though he sure knows diddly-squat about us. So remember as of tomorrow I am 3 weeks post op for my hysterectomy. He went back to work a week after my surgery and I’ve pretty much just been here, looking around at the mess my house is being in pain...ya know chillin. That is why I knew it took him 40 minutes to get his hair cut, because I needed him here. In all fairness AFTER his 40 minute haircut I sent him to the store to pick up a few things. But then he ruined that by coming home and making only himself something to eat before checking with myself or the kids on whether we’d also like him to fix us some food. I totally gave him shit for it. He deserved it. It is not just about him anymore. We are a family and when one of us (ME) is unable to do the things we normally do it’s his opportunity to step up. Honestly, it annoyed the shit out of me. I think it speaks to the selfishness that permeates how men are raised. (disclaimer: prob some women out there like that as well) As a mother it is my “job” to make sure my offspring are fed, clothed, safe etc. So as a father why does it not occur to him to make sure this is done? Especially when he already knew I was hurting and was not able to cook supper.
Well I told you this was gonna be me venting about shit. And it is. Just waitin on bedtime!!!
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