#I just wanted to make a sort of timeline ish interpretation thing so I can get my own thoughts in order

[capricious-bastard13]

I've watched Jack's (Jacksepticeye's) playthrough of MyHouse.Wad, and at first, because I only heard of Doom and never played it, I let it play in the background. Until Jack's voice starts reading the attached letter to the game.

My thought immediately went, "This is something, and I feel like I'll like this something." I rewind it and watched it from the very start to the end. But I felt it wasn't all that it was, I bounced from his to the comments, explaining the game and all being recommended to play it for yourself. I don't have the resources to do so, so when I saw a comment about a video explaining it, I looked it up. The video lays out the house and the different ways you can go from point a to point b. I've seen Power Pak's after watching Jack's playthrough. And just now, I've watched Pyrocynical's video and theory on it.

There's two that stood out to me, near the end; he lays out the theories and practically dismisses the queer interpretations of it. Until now, I've always been in the camp of "Thomas and Steve were a couple, but due to the time period, or their families, they kept it hidden." When watching Pyro's video, I started realising, why were there pills on the bathroom floor, why the crib, the ring? And I felt like Pyro was nearly there, he was so close to putting it together.

But he dismisses Thomas perhaps being trans or that Steve and Thomas are gay--calls a "fat stretch" and "Level difficulty: Medium" respectively.

I've prefaced all this, because as someone who's transmasc, it felt invalidating. For months I've seen this game--although I never played it and only watched it--as a queer story of grief and loss, of processing that loss, of going through stages of denial, of reliving memories, of just wanting to reach an end where you feel at peace, of looking back on that journey and thinking to yourself that you've made it--past the hardships to a place where you can feel at peace again.

MyHouse.wad being as ambiguous as it is but leaving all these little tidbits is as when it comes to art, hard to piece together. But hearing about how there's also a trans interpretation of made me perk up, thinking, "oh, it's going to be talked about in detail," only to be disappointed.

So, despite being that MyHouse.wad has probably had this interpretation ("tHeOrY") put up already, I still felt compelled to write my own view on it using the pieces that I know of--but, there might be details that I describe vaguely because I don't remember them all that much.

We get tiny little small glimpses of Thomas through Steve's entries, of introduction we get along with the link to download it. And even just from the descriptions of the items in the game like the ring, the die, and whatnot. And the first thought is, "oh, they're gay, but they're not out," which is a sad thought, yes. But I held that interpretation close to me. It's a journey of Steve trying to get through his grief, of plunging in to his thoughts, dismantled and breaking apart as they are. The rawness of everything, of how for him, it probably felt so fresh still and this game, of going through their mod map is his way of processing--never mind how it consumed him, as he said.

And what I consider to be the best ending; the real beach, with a heart on the sand, initials--"S and A, forever". Who's 'A'? Isn't it supposed to be 'T' for Thomas?

I've seen how 'A' could be for "Allord", Thomas' last name, and at the time, yeah, maybe it is A for Allord. But what if it isn't? What if 'A' is the deadname--using that initial, despite it being a deadname, was probably used to protect them, protect him-Thomas. To be seen a heteronormative couple to get away from the hate, the stares, the animosity.

What about the excerpt of their death? Thomas' photo clearly being of a man? Well, that's just it. It's an indication of how the family has accepted Thomas for who he is and to honor him properly, used what a photo of what he looks like now, of who he really is. Proudly too, showing him as Thomas Allord, age 35, in the newspapers. This is their son, brother, and husband.

This is certainly something that will be labeled as a "fat stretch". The crib, then? The pills? And the bloodied bathroom? Perhaps, Thomas had gotten pregnant, experienced a miscarriage in the airport bathroom and had to be rushed to the hospital. As Steve puts in the description of the baby bottle; "It wasn't meant to be." And as he writes in his journal entry, he had a dream, a baby crying in the attic, in the crib, a still born baby.

Perhaps, Thomas was ready to carry the baby--their baby and due to complications, what happened, happened. They'd already bought the crib, but put it away, and we see, maybe both of them had hope that they still had a chance, clinging on.

"If Steve and Thomas are together as you say, then why does Steve refer to Thomas as "my friend" or "my childhood friend"?" Living through life closeted brings habits, unfortunately.

I've grown up without realising that I'm trans, and it was only the past few years where I've realised that the gender I was given and raised to be, isn't who I am. Despite my family knowing, they still call me with feminine pronouns, I get referred to as "sister", or "she/her" a lot of the times. And it's become the biggest norm for me that they just fly by my head without even noticing it, without getting the chance to say "that's not my pronouns".

Is this a "weak" point of the "theory"? No, because I see it as valid. People who aren't out or don't have the chance to express who they are live day to day with being misgendered, seen as someone they're not. I don't want to say, "everybody experiences this" or that there are people who don't go through intense dysphoria that it becomes crippling; I'm just saying, that for me, this is how my day to day is today, what it's like--a sort of cynical indifference to it that boils beneath the surface of my skin.

Or, this is Steve's way to be ambiguous; Thomas was Steve's friend first before they reunited, gotten married, lived together, after all.

Maybe, he wanted to detach himself in his grief and longing. A way to protect himself from the immense loss he's going through and this is his way of doing that. By saying that Thomas was just a childhood friend, it probably eased the pain just a bit.

Or, Power Pak states in his video, isn't it strange how explicit names are never--if ever, rarely-- given. Thomas' name doesn't show up until February of 2023. Steve's name is never used. Maybe, Steve wasn't the one who wrote the journal; a third party who saw the effects of loss on Steve, instead?

In the newspaper clipping of Thomas' life, it's stated how he reconnected with his high school crush, got married and moved in with his partner. The ambiguity could mean that the family simply didn't want bigots to be bigots toward their loved one.

In Steve's clipping detailing his life, he also reconnected with his high school crush. "Soulmate", this person is described as. And like with Thomas', "partner" is used, rather something explicit like, "husband" or "wife."

Although, "wife" can't be correct either since Steve doesn't have a partner listed who outlived him, simply his family.

With MyHouse.wad being as up for interpretation as it is, there's ways of reading into things, one can take it however way they want to, where they want to.

And I, personally, like to think that Steve and Thomas are happy together, with their cat, cuddled up together in their home.

You picked up Die. "Roll for intercourse?"

I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything to bring him back. I feel so sad and it feels like my heart is heavy. I can't help but think about all of the fun times we had together growing up. All of our adventures, our secrets, and even our arguments. I miss him so much and I can't believe he's gone.

You picked up Ring. "I do."

I attended the funeral of my childhood friend, and I was overwhelmed with grief. As I looked around at everyone else in the room, I could feel the sadness in the air... I never imagined that I would be saying goodbye to my friend so soon.

You picked up Wine Bottle. "Drunk Buddy." You picked up a Bauble. "Christmas makes me happy."

Happy Valentines day to the only person I ever loved. For a short time, you brought a little happiness to this painful existence called life. I hope we can be together again one day.

You picked up Baby Bottle. "It wasn't meant to be." You picked up Pill Bottle. "Refill needed." You picked up Full Pill Bottle. "Feelin' fine."

You picked up Game Controller. "It's my turn."

Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for.

#MyHouse.wad #My Writing #-ish? #If someone reads this please be nice I know I probably got somethings wrong #Or that this interpretation has already been talked about #I just wanted to make a sort of timeline ish interpretation thing so I can get my own thoughts in order #I also know nothing about the Doom community and I only know stuff about MyHouse.wad #Pyrocynical practically dismissing the queer reading and then finding MyHouse's developer's previous partner as if to say #“See guys?” feels quite dirty #in a sense where it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth #Of course MyHouse.wad's story is fiction #but intentionally going out of your way to show the developer's family like it's a Gotcha Moment #Pyro was so close to putting the pieces of a puzzle together but it's as if he's trying to cram in two already interconnected pieces #Into the wrong holes and going “It just won't fit!” #Thomas and Steve left things ambiguous because there are things that are probably just too private and simply only for them #I can't believe honestly how he went about Thomas being trans or how Steve and Thomas can't be gay #Only to talk about their matching obituaries for the next theory #Then adding in the whole "the developer based this mod on his relationship with his partner is just #Do you not know how to separate fact from fiction? Because of course MyHouse is going to be fiction? #If Steve really is dead then Veddge's introduction to the game and saying how his “childhood friend” has passed and implying that #Veddge /is/ Steve? Do you not see how strange that would be? Or does he think that someone from Steve's life is just going around #With his account acting as if they are Steve? #My head's starting to hurt from all this Pyro honestly the fuck lmao

[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so #happy cringe day wednesday #for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much #but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it #so this is to contextualize some things #because of what ill have in the next few days haha #basically these are just things i consider when writing meta #but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across #kirbyposting #kirby #meta knight #headcanons #autism headcanon #this is practically an essay lol oops #i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again #but we’ll see if i ever finish it #god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on #i overthink everything i make so much lol

[theorahsart]

SO I have been reading all year about Robespierre and I have *so* many thoughts, and want to make a short-ish (maybe like 70 pages) narrative comic so I can get my thoughts out somewhere.

I wanted to make a little rambly note below about this comic before I start posting the rest of it. The comic itself won't have a regular schedule, I'm just gonna work on it when I'm in super obsessed mode and need to get my thoughts out lol Please follow #incorruptiblecomic for more :3

So this comic is based on a lot of reading about a real person, but I want to emphasise that I'm not a historian or expert. It would be disrespectful to say this comic is completely faithful to history when I'm an artist not a historian (*side eyes Ridley Scott*) and this comic is kinda mixing in a bunch of things relating to me personally and how I am personally seeing it reflected in the books I'm reading- autism, being misinterpreted, the devisiveness of modern day politics, misinformation and propoganda in media. The narrative will be more focused on feelings rather than timelines, and feelings arent rly something you can garuntee to be historically accurate for obvious reasons lol

Something I've found really interesting about French Revolution is that there is a lot of extremely different interpretations of the same events, dependant a lot on the writers own culture/upbringing/national identity etc. I lived in genuine cant-afford-to-eat poverty for like 4 years post recession, under a Tory government that said I was leeching off benefits, and I'm sure that's also coloured my own interpretation too.

I'm explaining this cos this comic shouldnt be taken as some sort of historical resource, just my personal interpretation and thoughts around an interestesting person I found very relatable/easy to understand, who I see being misunderstood a lot.

If you want to do actual historical reading, there's loads of books out there with wildly different interpretations. Its probably good to read all of them, with critical thought, and find the 'in between' in all those interpretations. Thats what makes history really interesting! My favourite English books Ive read so far are a couple of different books by Peter Mcfee, and 'Twelve Who Ruled', which is probably the most unbiased book I've read, that still paints a vivid picture for someone who isnt super academic like me.

I hope you enjoy my interpretation~

#frev art #frev #robespierre #maximilien robespierre #french revolution #comic #history comic #frev comic #historical comic #webcomic #comics #comic update #webcomics #webcomic update #incorruptiblecomic #tw injury #tw blood #tw gore

[jamietarttownsmyheart]

idk if anyone’s said this yet but “midnight rain” by taylor swift is lowkey a colinjamie song. “he was sunshine” (colin) “i was midnight rain” (jamie)

YES YES YESSSSS OMG YES YOU GET IT

first, i wanna apologize, i took way longer answering this than i expected, real life caught up with me, but!! midnight rain and colinjamie!! you are SO correct anon.

(unrelated, you're on your own kid is a jamie song)

but back to midnight rain, i mean, im really interested in your thoughts anon! how are you interpreting it?

one way of looking at it i think could be a canon compliant au of sorts.

I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed like midnight

like just this part? football is an escape for jamie, its a career for jamie, but its the same for colin!

but we can go deeper for both. jamie and football is complicated. for one, he loves it, he's amazing at it, he dominates, when he plays, he's jamie fucking tartt. but what is it really? he didn't grow up privileged, he didn't grow up in a stable environment. he grew up with a mom who wanted him to be happy and a father who did everything he could to make sure jamie wasn't. and its complicated because jamie playing football was what made him happy, and he wanted his mom to be proud of him. and then his dad comes back in the picture, and he wants jamie to play and jamie wants him to be proud but its a different want--its a want that one)every child has for their parent to be proud and 2)the hope that if james tartt sr is proud maybe he'll lay off.

football is something similar to colin. he loves it, but it also has brought him grief--after the team in Cardiff got relegated, he did face backlash from his family--like his grandmother for example. it also has the potential to bring more grief, as sports (and football) do tend to have a homophobic fanbase irl, and its been implied that colin is into men, and while a sexuality isnt confirmed, the implication that he is at least attracted to men is there (unless the grindr comment was incorporated as a joke, which, im hoping the writers didnt do it just for that) leading room for more pain.

there is also the third point--Jamie has the makings of being great, while Nate tells Colin that he does not. (chasing that fame/he stayed the same)

I think an au where fwb colinjamie happens pre-ted lasso's arrival is interesting, as one, it would be a secret, as both colinjamie have reasons for it to be, and two, you said midnight rain and now im thinking of the conversation of wanting to become official (albeit still secret) sort of contributing to the (he was sunshine/i was midnight rain) where they end things instead.

timeline-wise, it could be like:

jamie comes to richmond--jamiecolin fwb but end it after a month--jamie+keeley meet--rupert/rebecca divorce--ted lasso arrival.

except see, i dont want to go that route bc i dont want it to come off as keeley being the rebound. she is not. its so clear that keeley means something to jamie, and that she did when they were dating too, although jamie himself admits that while the feelinsg were real and there, he probably was not at the best mindset to act on/say the words/take accountability. that actually is true for jamie's season 1 arc--he has many moments in season 1 where you see the potential, to change, the want to change, and the way he actually does make attempts to be better. you see the softness his father tried to get rid of come out--but those moments are quickly overshadowed by jamie doubling down on "dominating" immediately after (or being sent back to man city right when he was trying and making progress and trusting--believing) because his father is very much still a heavily involved force in his life, and no one cares or knows.

so instead like. maybe theyre not fwb yet. maybe its an almost, but neither are ready to take things forward, so they stay friends-ish. maybe canon events happen as they do, but during s2, is when things get tricky.

timeline wise:

jamie comes back and is gradually accepted------jamiecolin fwb---james tartt sr----no weddings and a funeral--jamiecolin lets make it official convo but jamie asks for some time bc he wants to sift through his emotions, talk with his therapist, and give a proper response (he told keeley he loves her, and he did, he does, but that doesnt mean he's pursuing her, or wants to pursue her, he just wants her to know she meant something real, and now he wants to be able to give colin a real answer too, because he wants colin to be something real, colin is something real, he needs to know how to say it)---he loves colin omg he loves colin---tells colin----Richmond is promoted.

so all that^ but with jamie's internal monologue during his talks with his therapist its basically "he's sunshine and i'm midnight rain"

#jamie tartt x colin hughes #jamie tartt #colinjamie #colin hughes #answered asks #tw abuse mention #SO SORRY ANON IK I TOOK FOREVER

[luckycheesefoodie321]

I posted 3,361 times in 2022

351 posts created (10%)

3,010 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mxcrowe

@cottonskittles

@lunaisace

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@lithi

I tagged 496 of my posts in 2022

#kdrama - 211 posts

#extraordinary attorney woo - 193 posts

#spoilers - 118 posts

#korean drama - 63 posts

#asian drama - 60 posts

#percy jackson - 23 posts

#the umbrella academy - 20 posts

#pjo - 18 posts

#manga - 15 posts

#percy jackson and the olympians - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#like i can handle letting suyeon be with a judgemental bitch bc she’s i’ve known you so long i don’t need to be nice to you anymore vibes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

As someone who has absorbed MLB almost entirely through tumblr and has only watched a few eps here and there but really wants to get into it, I like to visit the tag whenever it trends and was curious about today and what was happening. But as it turns out @buggachat (??) Bakery Enemies AU is straight up just thriving and from what I can tell, is 90% of why MLB is trending atm XD

264 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#4

The subtlety of Park Eun-bin’s acting that you know the difference between Young woo’s natural aversion to eye contact and her actively trying to play coy and avoid Myeong Seok’s gaze when he accurately deduced she definitely jumped in on the arrest on the train bc she couldn’t help herself

295 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#3

When Steven finds himself in Dr Harrow’s office and Harrow let’s slip that his mum had passed away and he explodes at him so Harrow backpedals and actually picks up the phone to “call” the mum… and just the increasing distress on Steven’s face as he practically begs him not to bother his mum until Harrow holds out the phone and just the grief on his face as Steven finally admits out loud that his mother is dead…

Give Oscar the Oscar and 15 motion picture deals.

311 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#2

Fun things after watching The Batman

The movie sets a more crime-thriller, film noir take on Batman that really hones in on Bats as the world’s greatest detective as opposed to throwing in a bunch of action scenes as has been the norm of late for “superhero” films. The action choreo that is there feels so real and like an actual real person fighting, making Bats feel more grounded as a person, and the action set pieces just compliment all the build up through the quieter moments. Literally 80% of this film is him looking around a room for clues or inferring some sort of deduction from a conversation and I’m here for itttt

The actor who plays Tim Drake in Titans plays the scared kid who doesn’t wanna beat up the random guy. Not the same Batmen but how fun if that was Tim Drake’s origin story in another timeline

This whole time Bruce is majorly projecting on the Mayor’s son his own trauma as a kid who lost his parents to a brutal murder. In both Bruce and Bats forms, he holds eye contact with the kid. When Bats comes over to help the people trapped under the tower, and the mayor-elect Bella Reál hesitates to take his hand (bc he’s a vigilante who in many ways represents everything she’s been campaigning against, also bc he’s masked and dangerous etc) the first one to take his hand and thus demonstrate his trust in Bats is the kid. And the others follow (literally that shot with the flare and everyone following in the dark water was so beautiful I cannot)

The repeated use of Ave Maria whether in full form or hints throughout the score as a signal of impending danger

That opening title screen just stretching all the way across the theatre screen. Magnificent

Despite the “I am Vengeance” line being the mic drop-ish line from the trailer, basically everyone makes fun of Bats for using it the whole movie and then it comes back in a sinister way right at the end

People initially laughing at the idea of Robert Pattinson as Bats now saying his is one of the best interpretations of Batman so far, especially in terms of the detective aspect of the character

This version of Bruce reads as much younger than the other interpretations of Bruce Wayne. Like all of them are “would rather do XX than go to therapy” to some degree, but this version of Bats leans hard into this and feels really fresh on the scene. Guess it helps that when he’s Bruce he doesn’t switch immediately into a three piece suit and actually wears normal clothes. And he’s only 2 years into the game. I think it also adds to this image bc the playboy personality is nonexistent in this version of Bruce. He’s attracted to Selina (or at least drawn to her and the kiss just pushed it in a more romantic direction), but he also doesn’t push it beyond the opportunities she has presented to him. So idk. That seems very young of him?? I guess to be so caught up in the Batman of it all that he doesn’t recognise the potential for him and Selina until after she kisses him.

The fact that Selina’s leather suit actually has some give and slight bagginess to it. Like yes it is form fitting, but there’s clearly wiggle room and that’s a small thing but v important I think that it isn’t skin tight. Bc all other scenes she’s dressed in what I would say are very revealing clothing, as part of her job at that club that exploits women’s bodies and looks for profit. In this outfit, she clearly has so much more control and ownership of her body, and despite the typically slinky and seductive image of Cat woman, her suit feels quite practical and more like a uniform or battle outfit.

Paul Dano was freaking brilliant as The Riddler. But I also kept thinking “yo it’s that guy from Little Miss Sunshine” XD

1,836 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Crap

Pads

Sexy

Stripper

Cramps

All words that you don’t realise have impact until you suddenly hear them in a pixar movie and you double take way harder than you thought you would bc wow they said that so casually… bc yeah a 13yo prolly does say crap and sexy on occasion… and hey periods are perfectly natural so duh ofc the mom would bring out a pile of pads for her pubescent daughter, and talk about using herbal tea for cramps…

but also you don’t realise that you’ve never heard any of these things in a movie geared for children and pixar managed to do it so casually that it made you blink for a hot second before being quite pleased that it’s been included… that things like periods are discussed so openly in a film and pads are acknowledged and named and shown on screen rather than acting like it’s taboo or unnatural (not only the mom but also Abby/Priya?? saying she has pads for Mei)… to theme a film specifically on the female puberty experience… the change in body odour (when Priya whipped out deodorant for Mei??? Love that), the discomfort in your own body, the mood swings, the sweating, in many cases a greater physical and emotional attraction to others… an experience which in the past has been so greatly hush hush and treated like a shameful secret…

Then you think to yourself wow imagine if pixar had managed to include the lgbt+ character they had been hoping to insert in what would likely be a very respectful but also casual and natural representation that does not define the character purely by their presence but by what they as a person bring to the story (betting my life on Miriam and the potential for a Mir-Mei ship) had the Mouse not gotten in the way.

And this was meant to be a fun post about how casually Abby said “stripper music” and how I actually double-taked at Meilin saying sexy, but then i had other thoughts…

2,539 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

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[fatehbaz]

Ah man I'm so glad you made that post about ski resorts and racism, I never see content about the effects of ski resorts on the land. Keeping jumbo wild was a huge W and I was so glad to see it, and I hope it puts pressure on the people trying to push zincton through. I actually haven't heard much abt the zincton project lately, do you know of any updates? Thanks again for the content, so rarely hear other voices online from the inland temperate rainforest

Hey, thank you so much for the message. I know you’re also a fan of the region. Glad you saw that post and said something to me. :)

Yes, there has been some new media coverage of Zincton as of November 2020. And can I use this as an opportunity to say a couple of things about this rainforest? Sorry in advance for rambling and all of this text.

Right? The downfall of the Jumbo project was uplifting. Ski resorts obviously (like many “parks” in US and Canada) involve Indigenous dispossession and obscuring/erasure of histories and lives. (Details from that article: US sky resort visitors are 88% white, and half make over $100 thousand a year.)  As for voices from the inland temperate rainforest: Gotta mention that the province of BC goes to such great lengths to silence the voices of the Sinixt people, declared “extinct” by the Canadian government and whose traditional territory includes much of the inland temperate rainforest (between 2016 and 2020, BC has fought against the Sinixt and their request for recognition, appealing every ruling, culminating in an October 2020 Supreme Court hearing). BC institutions like to claim the inland temperate rainforest as a “treasure” or “prize”, a “globally-unqiue” ecosystem, as a sort of entitlement or patrimony; meanwhile, the province of BC legally fights the Sinixt in court, ignores the caribou extinction, and still issues dozens of logging/timber and clear-cut contracts in the inland temperate rainforest each year. That said, the end of Jumbo was good news.

For anyone unfamiliar: Jumbo was a ski resort mega-development project planned for the Purcell Wilderness on Ktunaxa traditional territory right in the heart of the inland temperate rainforest region of interior so-called British Columbia, in old-growth cedar-hemlock forest, on the edge of glaciers, and in the middle of key habitat of southern mountain caribou, grizzly, wolverine, mountain lion, lynx, wolf, elk, mountain goat, marten, fisher, etc. The Glacier Resorts-owned project would’ve been “the single largest ski resort in North America” including a “resort base” of at least 110 hectares, a hotel with over 5,500 beds, and an expectation of over 3,000 visitors a day. The Ktunaxa had opposed the project since 1991, and took a case to federal Supreme Court. In January 2020, the Ktunaxa were able to buy-out the project, and the Jumbo area will now be managed as a formal Indigenous Protected Area.

The new Zincton resort is also being built on Ktunaxa and Sinixt land, about 70 kilometers away from the former Jumbo resort site.

Traditional territories:

And yes, there are some updates on Zincton from November 2020.

@moss-effect -- I know that you already know this stuff. But for anyone unfamiliar:

The Zincton resort is being constructed only about 70-ish kilometers or so away from where the Jumbo resort was planned. Zincton is also on Ktunaxa territory, as well as traditional land of the Sinixt. Zincton (being built near Valhalla and Goat Range, between Naksup and Kaslo) expects a “grand opening” in December 2021. The project is run by the owner/founder of a local outfitter/recreation company. As of November 2020, BC’s Mountain Resorts Branch is still reviewing the owner’s formal proposal. Zincton sits closer to even more extensive old-growth forest and major protected areas.

Zincton also seems to be a manifestation of that now-classic category: “progressive” settler-colonial entrepreneurs from coastal BC, the Pacific Northwest, and/or Rocky Mountain West are familiar with local rhetoric and therefore elude criticism by rebranding their extractive and development projects as “eco-friendly”. According to The Narwhal (November 2020) the owner/project leader had this to say about the project: “There is a real story here of a proven disruptor facing down the mob to do one last project for the kids and grandkids. … Jobs for locals, a future for families, saving the hospital. Zincton is the Tesla of the ski village business.”

-------

Also, for context: Here’s a post I made about the inland temperate rainforest, its ecology/geography, and its endemic creatures. Here’s a post from June 2020 about the Zincton resort development. Here’s a compilation post with news/timeline/summary and maps describing the extinction of southern mountain caribou in 2019 (southern mountain caribou are a local icon, completely endemic to this region, and are highly endangered; caribou were declared extinct in the contiguous United States in 2019 when the last of the southern mountain caribou were relocated farther north to BC). Here’s a compilation post with news/timeline following the Sinixt case to receive formal recognition from BC/Canada in 2019 and 2020 (much of the rainforest, including the Zincton site, is within Sinixt traditional territory; the Canadian government declared the Sinixt “extinct” in the 1950s).

-------

Location of core cedar-hemlock forest of inland temperate rainforest region, compared with distribution range of the southern mountain caribou:

Photos I took of stream habitat in inland temperate rainforest:

-------

Coincidentally, just a couple of days ago, The Narwhal just released an “explainer” dedicated to the Zincton: Paul Fischer. “Why B.C.’s Zincton resort, the proposed ‘Tesla of ski villages,’ is worrying conservationists.” The Narwhal. 27 November 2020.

Zincton claims that it is a “radical departure from the status quo” and will be a “carbon-zero” resort. But local groups oppose the project, including Wildsight, West Kootenay Eco Society, and locally-famous Valhalla Wilderness Society. (The core of the inland temperate rainforest is sometimes referred to as “Valhalla” or “Caribou Rainforest”.) The project also claims that the resort’s focus on so-called “eco-tourism” is a good way to “grow and replace economic decline,” which you might perceive to be a settler-colonial interpretation of the “value” of the forest and also suggests that the concern here is, of course, making money. From Fischer’s article: ‘In a series of emails with The Narwhal, Harley [the project leader] dismissed environmental concerns. He said impacted grizzly habitats are low quality and categorized the criticism from certain environmental groups as a “copy and paste” campaign motivated by a desire to oppose everything rather than contribute constructively.’

These quotes can be found in the article:

-------

Here’s some other stuff:

-------

Headlines from the Jumbo resort news:

The Sinixt case:

Southern mountain caribou herd decline in the inland temperate rainforest between 1990 and 2018. The Zincton resort will directly affect Purcells South, Central Selkirks, and South Selkirks herd.

-------

And I want to say that both the Ktunaxa and Sinixt people have recently been undermined, insulted, and dispossessed by BC and development projects in similar ways. Media, educational material, and conservation groups in BC like to point out that the inland temperate rainforest is “globally-unique” (in that it’s really the planet’s only sizable “coastal-type temperate rainforest” existing inland and away from a coast). And you’ll see the inland temperate rainforest described with terms like: prized, treasure, gem, hidden/secret rainforest, etc. And the region is discussed in settler-colonial terms/concepts (”BC’s forgotten rainforest,” “BC’s other rainforest”, “a magnificent carbon cache”, “unparalleled resource”) as if it is the patrimony of the province of BC or Canadian state. Which of course is problematic because it (1) associates the forest’s importance with bioprospecting/scientific extractivism, carbon sequestration, or other metrics of settler-colonial “value,” and also because (2) the province of BC continues to fight very hard against recognizing the land as part of Sinixt territory (after Sinixt people and allies were able to win cases against BC, the province continued to appeal, and this case has now culminated in the October 2020 hearing at the federal Supreme Court, which will soon make a final ruling on whether or not Sinixt people are legally allowed land rights to harvest, travel, etc. within BC).

-------

Here’s a map:

From 2018, there is this book:

In the US, too, parks, like ski resorts, are implicated in Indigenous dispossession.

Glacier National Park (at the border of BC, Alberta, and Montana) sits on the edge of the Kootenay and inland temperate rainforest regions. Conservation groups, universities, and other US institutions have taken to calling Glacier part of “the Crown of the Continent” (another possessive/patrimonial term maybe?), a portion of the heavily-glaciated Canadian Rockies that kinda includes Banff and Jasper, too. Glacier National Park is on Ktunaxa and Blackfeet territory. A recently published book that might be interesting: People Before the Park: The Kootenai and Blackfeet Before Glacier National Park. Sally Thompson, Kootenai Cultural Committee, and Piikuni Traditional Association. 2015

Described by Montana Public Radio in 2017: “Step [...] into the world of the Kootenai and Blackfeet peoples, whose traditional territories included the area that is now Glacier National Park. [...] In this book, the Kootenai and Blackfeet tribes share their traditions -- stories and legends, foodways and hunting techniques, games and spiritual beliefs.”

Just a special place.

Thank you for saying something.

[thorne93]

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 4)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 3181

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy​​, @carryonmyswansong​​, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​ - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How’s it going?” Spence asked over the phone. 

“Good. Nearly one month down,” you stated with a bit of a smile.

“I know. It’s crazy. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, sweetie.” 

“How is school?” 

“Ah, it’s alright. You wouldn’t believe how awful some of these students’ handwriting is though. My god, it’s like deciphering hieroglyphics.” 

“Actually hieroglyphs are easy to translate since they use pictures to depict their meanings it’s rather easy to interpret them once you know what you’re looking at.” 

A grin fell onto your face easily. “I love when you tell me random facts.” 

“I love that you love it and it doesn’t make you want to roll your eyes.” 

“Never.” 

“And the apartment?”

“It’s not as big as I’d like, but it’s practical. I have a bedroom, small living room, kitchenette. So it works. I just need a place to store my crap. Speaking of, you can go ahead and send down those other boxes of clothes, I’m going to need ‘em.” 

“Sure thing. Made any breaks in the case yet, or have you had time?” 

“I’ve had time. I actually got to question all of the Miami PD.” 

“Oh yeah? How did that go?” 

“Overall, it just helped in crossing off that most of them aren’t suspect to doing it.” 

“Most?”

“Eh, I don’t like saying for sure none of them did it because it just strikes me as funny that seven of them went through the Miami PD. Not the county or state, just the city.” 

“It’s a good a lead as any.” 

“Yeah tomorrow I think I’ll start my questioning of the families and social circles. Garcia already pulled the addresses of next of kin and work for me. I’ll go to the workplaces when I can before and after class, and hit up the residences at night.”

“You’re going to figure this out. I know you can. But don’t over work yourself.”

“I won’t. How is everything there?” 

“Good. It would be easier if you were here but…” 

“I know. How is everyone holding up?” 

“Pretty good. I think Emily and Garcia miss you most. Garcia asks about you nearly every day,” he informed with a laugh. 

“Yeah, I miss them too.” 

“How has this been, by the way? The break? Do you feel like you’re getting the break you need?” 

You paused for a moment, a little unsure what he was referring to, but then you remembered how you told him you wanted to leave the crime fighting behind for a bit. “Yeah, I do actually. I know I’m investigating this case but it’s just one case and I can plan it out. I’m sure if I had the team it would be easier but since we weren’t called into it…” 

“Yeah,” he agreed. 

“But it is helping. I mean most of my time involves the university work, and I’m just doing this on the side to keep me from going insane.”

“So you don’t feel like you’re just repeating what’s being done here? Chasing a case, that might not even have an unsub?” 

“It might not, but something tells me it does.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know, Spence. Yes, technically all of these could not be related. But something feels off.”

“It is Miami, it’s not exactly a place people come to settle down.”

“I know that, but why would a guy who is well to do in the community with a wife and kids just disappear? Even if he’s involved in something illegal, clearly no one down here was closing in on him. Or why did a woman who was in nursing school with a boyfriend for three years just vanish? These don’t add up. Even if they were seemingly good citizens they poofed out of existence alongside these criminals.” 

“That’s what I love about you. You see past things like that. I know you’ll make this right and find out the truth.” 

You smiled at his words. “Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot.” 

“Do you think you could come up soon? Just for a weekend?” 

“I’ll try. I don’t know when though because I’m about to give my first exam and then midterms…”

“Yeah, not to mention I won’t know when we’ll get called away to a case…”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a hefty sigh. This would be hard navigating when you could see each other. “I guess I really didn’t think about how hard this would be.”

“Yeah, me either. I’m so used to seeing you, the thought of not seeing you at all for months is…”

That’s all he could get out before he stopped. 

“Hey, we will find a time. If nothing else, I have all of spring break.” 

“Yeah, that’s true. It’ll be here before we know it.” 

------------------------

You ran through the investigation through the week and interviewed almost all of the families, sixteen to be exact. The stories weren’t always the same. Some families felt that yeah, their loved one could’ve totally ran off. Some employees said the missing person never missed a day of work in their life. Others said their loved ones didn’t even leave the house without saying goodbye to everyone and texting if they would be late.

Something didn’t add up.

No matter how bad you wanted to say that some of these people may have gone AWOL, something told you that these people were victims of a crime. So you researched, hard, looking up everything you could on Dexter Morgan. 

He was a foster child and Debra isn’t his biological sister. He just began dating, seriously, for the first time since what seems like high school. His father was a cop -- bingo. That’s how he knew what to do and what to look for. Having rubber gloves on hand as a forensics specialist would be an easy cover too, in case he ever needed them for his own crime. 

It was him. You knew it had to be him. Everything pointed to him.

Okay, well not everything, but a lot of this was compelling. 

You just needed to put him at the scene and time of all of these abductions…

---------------------------

After class the next day, you decided to call in for a search warrant of Dexter’s residence. It was a long shot but it was a gut feeling and your department knew how accurate your gut was. You picked up your cell phone and were about to call your director.

But suddenly, something funny, something… strange twisted inside you. 

This man… This… Dexter. Unless he was doing some sort of weird balancing the universe act, he clearly had an MO for criminals. He wanted scum off the streets just like you did. 

What if… what if you didn’t… turn Dexter Morgan in? 

---------------------------------

You stood at his door, knocking three times. He answered it and you grinned.

“Hello again, Dexter,” you greeted with a sinister grin.

“Dr. Reid, so good to see you again,” he stated, and you knew he was lying. 

“You’re a serial killer,” you confidently declared as you stood right on his threshold staring at him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#inside the criminal mind #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #dexter #dexter morgan #dexter morgan fic

[frankie-catfish-morales]

Okay. My issues & fave things for Frozen 2 - Masterpost.

Spoilers and negativity beyond the cut. But also positivity! Cause I did like some things.

- The Negatives - 

1. I have serious qualms about the notion that Elsa doesn’t feel like she “belongs” in Arendelle. With her sister. And the family they built. The reason for this is simple. Every single piece of canon that has ever been produced by this franchise has said otherwise. They were separated 10 years (ish). They never wanted to be apart again. As recently as TWO YEARS ago (probably not that long in the movie timeline) Disney produced a short emphasizing their built family, and how home is wherever Anna is. Olaf gets lost in the woods, the wilderness, and they have to go find him because they all belong together. Elsa shows literally no interest in the woods nor being in the wilderness. She then proceeds to sing “When We’re Together” with Anna, and sings this TO Anna:

It frankly feels to me like they forgot what this franchise was all about and the foundations that they have been building it on. Elsa and Anna. Together. The way they have written these characters, to me, is not convincing that they would EVER wish to separate. 

You can argue to me that “Elsa isn’t that far away”. Yes, that is true. She could ice luge down the hill and see Anna and the fam. But you know what else wasn’t that far away? Elsa’s room. Separate is separate. Living with someone with no shut doors and not living with someone but visiting sometimes is not the same. And the characters have stated several times across four releases of visual media and COUNTLESS Disney produced merch that they do not wish to separate. Ever. It’s not just how it has been written.

Now,  I can understand the idea that they were trying to communicate that Elsa was feeling unfulfilled, but it is 100% contradictory with every other piece of literature about this story they have put out, so to me, it made no sense character arc wise. It  was too sudden for it to come up right now, rushed in an opening song for the final movie. Olaf’s Frozen Adventure didn’t come out that long ago, so to me this feels like a complete 180. 

Perhaps what they were trying to say in this movie is that if Elsa didn’t leave, Anna would never allow herself to have a fucking life. You can see this possibly in the scene where Anna leaves with Kristoff without saying anything, and trying to insist on coming with Elsa even if it’s pretty clear she would be in serious danger. You can also see this a bit in the lyrics to “The Next Right Thing”:

“I follow you around I always have But you've gone to a place I cannot find”

“I don't know anymore what is true I can't find my direction, I'm all alone The only star that guided me was you How to rise from the floor When it's not you I'm rising for?” 

Anna does put Elsa before anyone and anything else, even herself. But if THAT is what they are trying to say, they are basically saying Anna and Elsa’s relationship is and has been toxic, or having toxic qualities, and that’s really saying fucked up shit about the whole franchise. Especially because there are so many fans out there who really connected with that aspect of Frozen.

2. I am, quite frankly, really TIRED of the trope that powerful magical women *can’t* be queens. Because they don’t “belong”, because they are “out of touch”, because they need to leave, they need to die (*cough* Daenerys Targaryen), or that they were “mad” or not good for society. That their strength is too much for them to be in society or be a queen. I think it’s quite empowering that Elsa feels free, but I do not like the concept that she couldn’t feel free and be a good queen. That she abdicated and basically rolled out, extremely rushed and in a moment where a lot was already happening. It’s like her being queen in the first place wasn’t even important. And no, she is NOT queen of the Northumbra (I will go into this assertion in my next bulletpoint).  You aren't just automatically queen of something when you aren't coronated or acknowledged by who you are ruling as such in any fashion.  I highly doubt the Native population would make some white girl they just met their queen. Elsa stepped down, and she is now a liaison between the enchanted forest and Arendelle. She’s an ambassador, and Anna is now Queen. Which, if we took the implications out of it, would be fine. I don’t dislike Anna. She’s grown so much, she’d be a wonderful queen. I just think Elsa should still be queen. Elsa can still be a liaison between the realms. Who better to be queen than a woman who is a liaison and has the interests of Arendelle, the Enchanted Forest, and the elements? You can tell me “She didn’t want to be Queen!” as much as you want, but lets get really into the facts here. She suddenly “didn’t want to be queen” because she was written that way. It could have been written differently and would have been in character.

It bothered me so much that Disney Parks thought it was a good idea for the face characters in the parks to come out in the final outfits literally ONE DAY before the movie came out. I had this plot aspect spoiled to me (and I’m not in the spoiler culture but that was a really big plot point to spoil so lets get real here, I’m allowed to be upset) because people posted pictures of Anna in her crown with the tags # Queen Anna, before the movie was even released. I immediately didn’t like it, but I wanted to try and stay positive that it would be convincing, but it honestly just continued to rub me wrong. It feels like they were trying to get cheap “YAS KWEEN” moments for both the Elsa fandom and the Anna fandom, and I felt like it was empty and unnecessary. Anna is a badass regardless. She didn’t need that for a “YAS KWEEN” moment. She has quite a few incredible, powerful, and strong AF moments. I  love her without that.

3. I mentioned in point 2 that “Elsa is not queen of the Northumbra.” The reason I mentioned that is because a friend of mine thought that and was confused. Which brings me to my 3rd point. The mythology and plot that they constructed for this movie was extremely confusing, didn’t explain enough, and had too many plot-holes. That friend and a few of the people she saw the movie with thought Queen Iduna was Queen of the Northumbra. She wasn’t. Another thought she had wind powers. She doesn’t. She was just playing in the wind elemental when Agnarr saw her.

Some more questions:

Did literally none of the Northumbra know their chief was murdered?! Why wasn’t that ever brought up if they did now, and if they didn’t, why didn’t they remember? 

How did the kingdom of Arendelle not realize what sea Queen Iduna and King Agnarr were sailing to? Why would this have never come up before? Oh, Anna and Elsa, your parents were on the way to Rapunzel’s wedding or Tarzan world, but then turned around and set sail on this completely separate, very dangerous sea and we never told you. This, to me, is why the movie was poorly written, no one has any fucking idea what actually happened in some scenes.

4. Speaking of Queen Iduna, if she is Northumbra, and she is used to being around elemental magic ALL THE TIME, why did she react to Elsa’s powers at first the way she did? Why did she interpret the troll’s advice the way she did? WHy did she support and enable Elsa’s father shutting her up and away when she know’s first hand the elementals were good and what those powers could do? 

And like the whole movie was supposed to be why Elsa had magic and I still have no idea. That was not explained well. She's the 5th element? Ice isn't an element. Ice is water. If she’s an element, is she going to die? Or when Anna dies is she going to live forever as an elemental-human hybrid wandering the woods sobbing like Arwen Undomiel was cautioned of? Is it was because her mom saved her dad, linking the two nations? Her good deed gave her power? Like Harry Potter? Okay, but why ice specifically. Anna said that Elsa was “the last piece”. But of what? Of the elements? Again, ice isn’t an element. Ice is water. Water was covered. Was it because she had to right the wrong of the grandfather building the dam and killing the chief of Northumbra? But Anna destroyed the dam with the elementals. Was it so she could find out the truth about what happened? She could have done that without ice powers. Why was it ice? What was the significance of the cave Alhalla (Alhambra?)? Why could she only find out the answers there? Why are we supposed to believe Elsa wants to routinely hang out in a secluded ice cave that is a huge downgrade from her awesome ice castle instead of being with her sister? Is it cause her mother is there? Who is family? So why can’t she lie with Anna, her other family, and visit the cave when she wishes?

The concept of elements and Elsa having some sort of relationship to it, the IDEA is so good, I just was seriously disappointed in how it was executed. I think the only explanation we have here is: “the spirits gave her her powers to unite everyone." And that wasn’t enough for me. WHY ICE THO. 5. I did not, at all, in any way, like when Elsa saw that memory of her singing “Let It Go” and was like, embarrassed of it? Like, “Oh my godddd I did that, how EMBARRASSING....”......That moment means so much to a lot of people, and I felt like that was really OOC and kinda disrespectful. That song is an anthem for people with mental issues and people in the LGBTQ community and it just felt wrong to me. Did NOT like that.

6. I really really wish that Anna x Kristoff AND Anna x Elsa had a longer duet than what was in “Some Things Never Change” and the lullaby reprise. Their voices together are BEAUTIFUL. I think it a missed opportunity, especially when reunited with Elsa and Kristoff. Anna could have had a brief duet with Elsa, and then with Kristoff when he proposes, and then they all sing together for a finale into Anna’s coronation. I am aware there is a duet with Anna and Kristoff in the Delue edition but the version is pretty rough and, it didn’t make it into the film so I’m not counting it.

- The Positives - 

1. The character development. I must confess that I was not a Frozen fan when it first came out. I think I saw it, wasn’t too impressed, then went to Walt Disney World in December 2014, became so over-saturated with Frozen fever literally taking over EVERYTHING, that I became annoyed and resistant. I did re-watch it several times months later to try and get back on board, but I always felt like the plot in the middle was weak, meandered with no purpose, and the whole “Anna wasn’t saved by a man” (which she was. She wouldn’t have gotten to Elsa at all without Kristoff. She would have died in the snow) was less powerful because everyone was acting like Brave didn’t happen. Like it was the first movie to have someone saved by true love through someone other than a love interest. But I’m not re-visiting that shit, I just wanna enjoy Frozen for what it is and gave me positively, which is what I’m gonna do with Frozen 2 when I cathartically post this. The reason I’m going into this is because, I wasn’t expecting strong writing with the plot of Frozen 2, because of the precedent set. But I was SO excited, so HYPE, I literally went day after opening. One thing  I WAS expecting the themes to remain true to the franchise, but we won’t discuss that again. I grew to love Elsa deeply through my own struggle with mental illness (anxiety, depression, adhd). Apparently I have a lot in common with her too. Consuming her in other forms (Frozen on Broadway, Once Upon a Time, meeting her in the Parks) deepened her character and made her more understandable. And Anna. OOF. Was not a fan at all. But I LOVE her now too.  And in this movie. WOW. They were so amazing and rich, and brave, badass, strong, flawed, relatable, and the GROWTH. The way they reacted to things, even if I didn’t like most plot points, was done so well. It really felt like them even though a huge growth jump happened. I could see how they got from A to B. The character writing (other than the things mentioned earlier) was very strong and I’m proud to say I love them so much more after this movie.

2. The music. I have never particularly liked Idina’s voice but she sounds SO amazing, unique, memorable, emotional, vulnerable, and open in both of her songs. 

“Show Me” is personally my favorite, and that whole sequence was just fucking breath-taking, the message so special. Seeing her break down all her walls during that song journey was one of the best parts of the movie. I’ve been dealing with A LOT lately, and this song really just made me feel like things might work out if I continue to be strong and believe in myself, if only for a few minutes.

“Into the Unknown” was such a great tease as being the best Elsa song, and I love that they added that wacky Norwegian singer Aurora in there. I just didn’t particularly like some of the lyrics about Elsa feeling like she didn’t belong. Explained above. 

Olaf’s “This is Fine” song had me smiling so big and is quite literally an eternal mood. *insert Brooklyn 99 “I’m such a Samantha”.gif* “Some Things Never Change” was a great intro song, I love when the 4 get to duet together, though some of Elsa’s lyrics, again, not a fan. 

Anna’s song, despite the things mentioned above, was honestly the most powerful song to me. It’s not something that makes me feel good, or something I will be able to listen to often. But, as someone who struggles with depression and finding the motivation to do anything when something scary or terrible happens, this song was so sososososoosososoososo fucking important to hear. I was crying. I started crying when Olaf poofed and I kept crying through this song.

But by far, the greatest part of this movie, was Kristoff’s 90′s Poison-inspired power ballad. I was fucking CRYING with laughter. SO so good. I have been waiting for a song for Jonathan Groff and this was NOT a disappointment. The backup singers. The imagery! THE BACKUP SINGERS.

3. The beauty. It was just beautiful. Like I don’t know what else to say. The animation was gorgeous. Stunning. I’m in awe.

Other things:

- Olaf giving the recap to the Northumbra

- THAT scene with Anna and Olaf

- Elsa’s hair journey

- ELSAMAREN RIGHTS

- ELSA TAMING THE NOKK

-  When Kristoff finally proposes

- KRISTOFF’S FINAL LOOK. A WHOLE SNACK.

- BRUNI. BRUNI IS BABY.

- The fact that Elsa’s sexuality was left open ended, with the possibility for Elsamaren to be a thing. If they couldn’t outright make her gay, I think this was a good way to keep everyone happy. You could really continue her story anywhere.

Like I said earlier, I’m gonna get over this super fast. It’s Disney, and I’m not trying to get all riled up for months like I did over some TRULY terrible writing. I just wanted to get my annoyances out. I’ve already listened to this soundtrack 6 times in a row, have learned the lyrics to show yourself, and am almost in the mood to see it again. Maybe in a little bit.

Anyways, THAT IS ALL OF IT FOR NOW. I may add more BS later. If  you disagree, that’s fine, but I’m not really going to fight with people about this. I just wanted to get my thoughts out and reach out to other people who were maybe a little disappointed.

#frozen 2 #frozen 2 spoilers #frozen spoilers #frozen critical #disney critical #disney negativity #monica thinks things #sorry i had a lot of thoughts #long post

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

Steve’s Ending: What the Fuck Just Happened?

                            ************WARNING*********** 

BIG-ASS ESSAY WITH SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME AHOY

I have been largely out of the fandom sphere for a spell because of personal stuff that went down and then subsequent Endgame anxiety (I’m sorry, I really will get to some BW asks as soon as I’m done reeling from this film), but I wanted to get out some thoughts about Endgame while they are fresh in my mind. I have seen Endgame twice since its release. I saw it Friday morning, debriefed with my beta @pitchforkcentral86, and then turned around and bought tickets for an evening showing the same day. Why? Because I had to process Steve’s last scene. I had to see it twice just to comprehend what the hell happened and then try to interpret it. I went through several hypotheses and waves of accompanying emotion and then came to a tentative personal conclusion about what the hell Steve’s ending is to me.  But first I had to ask— Is this a true happy ending? Is this lazy writing? Is this a character assassination? Is this a legitimate choice Steve would make? Some combination of the above? So, here go my hypotheses—

Hypothesis 1: This is a legitimate happy ending for Steve and his timeline.

If you only look at the images shown to us and don’t devote much thought to the implications of Steve’s choice for other people in the world, it might appear to be a beautiful ending. After a decade-and-a-half of compass-gazing and pining for the good old days of segregation and boiled food, Steve gets what he wants. He gets the person who is — surprise! — “the love of his life.” This plays into the ongoing narrative that Steve has never been able to find contentment in the modern world or with modern people (some of whom he refers to as “family,” interestingly enough). This hypothesis also assumes that he can only be happy if he is with one woman, because he assumes shared life experience is a prerequisite for partnership, which means that he has essentially preemptively foreclosed on any relationship with anyone who is not Peggy.  Since Bucky’s name has barely even entered Steve’s consciousness lately, except to emotionally whump his past self into not choking him to death, even their friendship seems to be a question in the last two films in this series.

So if we take the arc of these films into consideration, including the last two films, he has apparently resigned himself to a position of “Peggy is my only viable romantic relationship, and she is dead, and I am incomplete as long as this is true.” When you write this thesis for Steve Rogers, which is a sad thesis indeed, this ending might seem like a relief for him. (It could also be argued that it is terribly lacking in resiliency and flexibility and is naive, at best, in terms of what is love versus infatuation versus idealization.) Problematic in this happy ending scenario: The writers clearly did not consider the second and third order effects of this decision. They just needed to tie up Steve’s timeline and get Chris Evans out of the franchise, and this was a way to do it that resonates at face value. Man out of time gets put back in his time. Gets love. Quote: “It was beautiful.” Ignore all of the following and more: -There will now be two Steve Rogers in this timeline. -One of them will presumably be with Peggy Carter for at least a good chunk of time, unless things went south. -Peggy Carter is the director of SHIELD. Her close associates are undoubtedly known to them as a result. -Thus, Steve Rogers probably could not just stay hidden in the pantry. SHIELD would want to debrief him. They would want to know how the hell he got there. Questions would get asked. This could not remain a secret forever. -Is Steve Rogers going to sit out history? Hang on the couch while the world burns, shield unused? -Is Steve Rogers, knowing that Bucky is alive, going to leave him to rot with Hydra? -Even if they made some sort of arrangement beforehand, like Bucky saying it’s okay, don’t come get me, would they both sit well with continuing to let him kill all of the innocents he killed? -If Steve did go get Bucky, he would likely find him some time in the span of however many years he’s in the past. The future would be completely changed. -If he intervened and found Bucky, Sam Wilson would not be Falcon because TWS would not happen. This version of Bucky would not exist. This end scene could not happen. -Thus, this does not seem to be something that Steve chose to do during his life with Peggy. (Debunked-ish, along with other “Back to the Future” science hereafter, below) Which brings me to my second hypothesis about this ending. Hypothesis 2: This was thought out, but it represents writers Markus and McFeely’s disconnect from the character they built. This is where the “there is no way in hell Steve would sit on the couch where the world burns, where Bucky suffers with Hydra etc.” argument comes in. This taints the ending in a particularly sour way, because they have labored so hard to build an image of Steve as someone who would wreck the world to save Bucky Barnes from harm and stop at nothing to prevent serious harm in the world where he could. It’s what he wanted in the first place! It’s where we all started in TFA! The Steve we know and love would want to go to Korea. To Vietnam. He would want to stop the Khmer Rouge and all the bad shit he could intervene with. Right? And his ass would try to save Bucky, especially knowing exactly where he’s kept! Right?? He would keep going and going until he was worn down into a nub of nothingness. Right??? Which meanders me to— Hypothesis 3: This was a decision that Steve Rogers made that is plausible for his character and was deliberate on the part of the writers. Second and third order effects included. This may be a stretch, but I think it could be argued on the grounds of good becomes great, bad becomes worse. Steve does nothing by half measures, an intrinsic trait that is amplified by his transformation. I have always argued that Steve has a very real selfish streak, or else he never would have tried to enlist in the Army so many times knowing he is absolutely unqualified to serve. Serving in his original condition would have put so many lives at risk, and others would have had to pick up his slack, because he would have been next to physically useless in combat as small Steve. But he would not accept reality, and he would not accept a “lesser” form of helping because it had to be the way that served his ego and his sense of rightness and justness for himself, consequences to other soldiers and the mission be damned. It was myopic and self-serving. And if good becomes great and bad becomes worse, maybe this is a form of that. Maybe he and Bucky agreed (because they were clearly in cahoots with that final scene business) that he would not intervene and rescue him, because then there would be no Falcon, or simply on the principle that the timeline must remain as undisturbed as possible. And maybe this one time, Steve didn’t say “fuck you, Bucky” and do what was right. Maybe Steve Rogers was done. Fucking done. Maybe he realized that what he first wanted at the beginning of TFA is not tenable. That he can’t fight forever. That he, like Tony, needs to rest, and that he can’t do that in the modern world. Which is interesting, because he essentially becomes Tony Stark v1.0 in the end, only caring about himself and his own. And Tony Stark becomes Steve Rogers, making the ultimate sacrifice for mankind. So Steve enjoys a life with Peggy while the world burns because he just can’t do it anymore. He’s paid his dues and he’s done being Captain America or Nomad or anyone else. (Wonder how she likes that version of Steve...?) Though how he could possibly say “It was beautiful” is utterly beyond me. I can’t fit that into this hypothesis, unless he has compartmentalized so hard and so well that he has forgotten about Bucky’s existence completely. And if he has, this is a very sad ending for his character.

There are probably many other hypotheses out there. They just didn’t percolate through my mind yet.

Which brings me to some things @pitchforkcentral86 brought up:

Why was Tony Stark’s arc so perfectly completed, so beautifully closed — truly, even I shed a tear — when we have to sit here writing stupid billion word theses on a nearly defunct blog site, grasping for straws, scratching our heads, wondering what the fuck just happened to Steve Rogers? It’s like getting to know somebody for eight years, being told the same stories about their behavior, learning their values system, their truths… and then being thrown a parting image that can only make sense if  a) the writers cannot be trusted — and maybe could not be trusted this whole time, or b) the character is actually not the person we thought he was.

Is either of these what we want to be left with as we close this phase of the MCU? Either the writers failed or Steve Rogers is not the person we love? And do we really not get to see Bucky and Steve’s friendship arc get closed in a meaningful way after building its depth for three movies? Are we really supposed to count a cheap recycling of a TFA line and some shimmery-eyed SebStan woobieface (TM) and some secret time travel hook-up conspiring off-camera (AS THEIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN SINCE CIVIL WAR, PRESUMABLY, OFF-FUCKING-CAMERA) as “closure”? So, what do I think? I think this was lazy, crap writing, and I think Markus and McFeely thought we wouldn’t consider the timey-wimey implications too much. I think they know this character, and I don’t think they figured this would assassinate his character. I think they just really, really needed to tie this story up in a superficially pretty bow, and they couldn’t kill off both Tony and Steve, so they needed to give him something that took him out of the franchise. And that scene at the end with Peggy was aesthetically BEAUTIFUL. I smiled the first time, ear to ear, until my brain kicked in two minutes later and realized what it meant. They have been building up to this forever, kindling Steggy pretty much every movie. We Stucky people are all like yeah, yeah, Peggy, so sad, but the films have been consistent all along about saying a) Steve is a man out of time, and b) he loves Peggy Carter. (However you wanted to interpret that love... until the support group, where the interpretation is made for us). Support group side note: First, I squeed that Steve was running a support group in what I’m pretty sure is a VA auditorium. And on one hand, I loved the super chill gay Russo cameo and Steve’s untroubled reaction. Three cheers for the first openly gay character in the MCU [eyeroll]. But also, it felt like a total concession, like okay all you Stucky idiots we’ve been queer baiting over the years, we are gonna drop an A-bomb your little kingdom, but look, at least Steve isn’t a homophobe! See? He’s cool with the gays and so are we. Thanks for playing. Maybe you’ll get a REAL queer character in the next phase of the MCU! (If you even stick around after the shit we’ve just pulled.) But this laziness is problematic, because it feels terrible and discrepant. Intended or not, it does have serious implications for the timeline and/or the character, and the final scene existing the way it is potentially means at least one of two things: 1. Time doesn’t work the way we think it does. (In other words, what if there is a world where time travel Steve did all these good things like free Bucky, end the Vietnam War early, etc.?) However, since he is here on this bench with Bucky and Sam, dropping off this shield, this is implausible. If he just disappeared for good and Bucky explained the situation with a tiny, knowing smile, then it would be possible that he started an alternate reality where he did all these very Steve-congruent things and freed Bucky in that timeline, which would not affect this one. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could live with that. Just disappear into the sunset and we can write fics to fill in all the gaps of his Steve-ness. His core character is retained. Hooray. 

But if he started an alternate timeline, he would not be here with Bucky and Sam like this in the original timeline as an old man, which suggests that he jumped back in the same timeline. Unless they invented technology to jump between timelines. Or Dr. Strange jumped him back to this bench just to drop the shield off and high five with Sam and then is going to take him back any second or some dumb shit that has no basis in anything we have seen on screen (see @pitchforkcentral86’s point above about grasping for bullshit just to make sense of this). Or it means that— 2. Steve did not do anything and did not give a fuck about it. Both of these are terrible. Terrible. I would rather have had Steve die than have this ending. And this has nothing to do with Stucky for me, because Stucky is mostly just a fun fandom thing for me. I don’t mind that he ended up with Peggy per se. It’s the implication that he didn’t save his friend, knowing EXACTLY — geographically and historically — where he was, not only saving Bucky but also all the innocent people Bucky would kill. OR I hate the implication that the smug motherfucker let Bucky rot — perhaps per their agreement, maybe he kept a promise, whatever — and he had the gall to call it “beautiful.” And this is after Markus and McFeely slaved for three movies to convince us that these are best fucking friends from childhood who are with each other “‘til the end of the line.” At the very least, even if they are not going to be physically together, friends do not let friends suffer for decades at the hands of Hydra, and if they do, they do not fucking enjoy themselves while it’s happening. If this is the Steve they are leaving us with, I do not want him. And I kind of don’t know what to do now.

Am I missing something? Please tell me I am. I’m desperate for a way to make sense of this. Truly.

OKAY, EDIT: 

@koubashii  very kindly sent me a message reminding me that Bruce spent quite a bit of time belaboring on the point that changing the past doesn’t change the future. She reminded me that Nebula killing her past self didn’t obliterate her from existence. I did forget about all this. So I can’t use Sam and Bucky Prime’s existence in their current form as evidence that Steve did nothing, if he went back in time. Point taken. THANK YOU!! 

(Edit: As far as I can gather from some research from actual astrophysicists and not MCU Bruce Banner, this “changing the past doesn’t change the future” stuff is just one small theory and does not appear to be the prevailing theory. However, this is the quantum realm, so we can make up all sorts of silly rules about infinite possibilities, infinite realities, yada yada, because nobody understands quantum physics except Hank Pym. Comic book science wins again!)

So, if he’s creating a separate timeline, let’s say he rescued Bucky early. Is there another Bucky running around with him? (New fun theory to make the pain better: He danced with Peggy, had a good time, went to find Bucky, married HIM, and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it with Sam. THERE. Fixed it.) 

But this still suggests that he broke off into an alternate timeline, one that did not disturb the current one. So if he went off into this entirely new timeline, how did he bounce into this old one? Pym particles? Sure. Fine. Comic science Whatever. Maybe he gets some. Did he just drop in by the lake and pop a squat on the bench right before Bucky told Sam to look? Sure. Was he there the whole time? Perhaps. Fine. Who the hell knows. 

So, one possible explanation is that there IS an alternate timeline where Steve did the right thing. And he jumped back here because Pym particles. His character’s integrity is potentially saved and who the fuck knows who he ended up with in the end. Let your imaginations run wild. It’s too late for Bucky Prime to get saved, poor Bucky. At least he has Sam and their upcoming Disney spinoff series, which sounds like a fucking joke when I write it (but srsly I’m dying and cannot wait). 

And there are still problematic things with this narrative for me, such as the idea that Steve’s entire happiness hinges on one woman he barely knew, largely because she didn’t scoff at him when he was smol and I will be DAMNED if Peggy kept his picture on her desk, and there is no effing way that she would even have her back to the door, but whatever. And I still hate that Steve and Bucky’s relationship arc was treated so horribly by these last two films. NO HOMO, indeed. Just in case we got the wrong idea from the intensity of the relationship that the MCU created for us. I will be posting more on this later. 

AND STILL — we should not have to work SO HARD for this kind of "meh” explanation. You should not need a group effort to make sense of your character’s ending, after so much wallowing in despair. And this might still reek of bullshit to many of you. I need to percolate more. 

Pym particles and Wakandan Vibranium trauma-healing brain magic — quick and dirty shortcuts for real character development. Thanks, MCU. Consider my brain exploded.

#avengers endgame #help #endgame spoilers

[twdmusicboxmystery]

New Thoughts on Inmates (4x10)

Okay, so weeks ago, just before watching 10x01 actually, I went back and we watched Inmates. You could call it a scientific experiment. I had a hypothesis that if I looked at the structure and chronology of Inmates, which I haven't looked at in several years and we've learned a lot since then, it would lay out the structure of death fake outs.

Well, my hypothesis didn't entirely pan out. First of all, Rick and Michonne weren’t even in Inmates (I forgot that) so it couldn't have it encompassed all the death fake outs anyway. That said, I did find some interesting things and take some notes. This post is just to lay out what I found.

The first thing I learned is that I really need to re-watch the entire series knowing what we know now, because everything will different. In fact, @wdway has recently gone back and done this with a few episodes and she reports the same thing. We understand SO much more now that we know where they're going with it. And the dialogue can be taken much more literally than we ever suspected back then.

Beth and Daryl:

I talked about some of this recently. Beth insists other people are still alive and they can’t be the only ones who made it out of the prison. She insists they track and try to find some of these people. When they find some footprints, which are actually Lizzie and Mika’s, Beth says, “at least that means they’re alive.” Daryl answers, “No. It just means they were alive four or five hours ago.” And Beth says, "They’re alive!"

I think we can apply this to Beth. If the “four or five hours ago” represent S4/S5, it’s just saying she was alive then. Which is obvious. So, what would be the point of that? Well, I can see someone coming to Daryl in the present timeline (S10) and saying Beth is alive. This is a way of saying well, she was alive in S4 and S5, but that doesn't necessarily mean she still lives. Then Beth insists, "They’re alive!" Because she is too. Later on, when she sees the shoe by the tracks, she assumes they’re dead and her hope is dashed. But actually, Lizzie and Mika are still alive. She just doesn't realize it. So, we have some heavy foreshadowing here.

I also noticed that it shows Beth's feet walking along as they track through the woods. It looks a lot like Rick’s feet with the blood dripping onto them in 9x05. Yet another way of foreshadowing the coming death fake out, perhaps?

In the final bit of their section, she says, "We're not going to die. None of us." Now, in terms of plot, that's meant to be ironic. Because at this point, the prison has fallen and several people died, including Herschel. So it was very tragic to have her read this diary entry here because it turned out not to be true.

In terms of foreshadow, I think you can apply it to Beth and Daryl. After all, they're the only ones on the screen when she says this. So, neither she nor Daryl will die. (Hooray!)

Tyreese, Lizzie, and Mika, and eventually Carol:

Most of this stuff isn’t groundbreaking, but there was some interesting dialogue that really jumped out at me.

First let me say, I genuinely believe that Lizzie represents Carol and Mika represents Beth. I mentioned this briefly when I talked about how in 10x02, the “good” sibling and “bad” sibling where the good one dies and the twisted one lives might represent two halves of a whole. I’ve always interpreted Lizzie and Mica’s arc this way.

And I think this is a good time to bring this up because, due to spoilers about 10x03, they might be relevant to Carol’s arc again this week.

I've said before that when Carol gives her speech to Tyreese in the kitchen after Mika dies, when she says, (and I paraphrase) "she's too dangerous to be around people," she's talking about herself. I mean, she's talking about Lizzie, but this is why she keeps trying to leave the group after this as well. Carol believes that people always die around her because she make such bad decisions. And that if she stays around people she cares about, she’ll end up getting them killed. Unfortunately, that actually has happened with quite a few children. But my point here is that Lizzie = Carol and Mika = Beth.

Mostly, this is a foreshadow of what's going to happen to Grady. It's not a coincidence that the two of them end up together at Grady. In this particular arc, Beth (the Mika-like, hopeful, happy, sweet one) “dies” while Carol, (much darker, harsher, and Lizzie-like) lives on.

And no, that doesn’t mean Beth is dead for realz. I think it was a foreshadow of Coda and what happened in this arc.

What is the point of all this symbolism? I’m not entirely sure. I think they must be heading toward some kind of resolution. I mean, obviously we think Beth will resurface and come back to Daryl, but why involve Carol so heavily? 

Well, I do have one thought, though admittedly I’m kind of pulling it out of the air right now. I can’t help but wonder if at some point, we’ll see a replay of Grady with a different outcome. Now, TD has said that for years concerning Beth. But what I mean is, as specifically concerns Carol, I wonder if Carol will die.

I know, I know. If any Carol-lovers read this they’ll give me hate for it. But I’m not predicting that Carol is going to die any time soon. If she does die, I doubt it will be until the very end of the series. The last season, at least, if not the last episode. So not anytime soon. I’m just saying I feel like they’re setting up an eventual reversal to the results of Coda.

After all, S4 was when we saw Carol murder Karen and David. And that was really the first time we saw her go VERY dark. Later that season, we have the Lizzie/Mika/Carol/Beth foreshadowing. And then in Coda, Carol, who definitely had some things to atone for, lived, while Beth, who’d been brought front and center as a companion for Daryl, apparently died. Everything happened in a very unjust and out-of-sync way, you know?

But I digress. Back to Inmates.

Evidence that Lizzie = Carol and Mika equals Beth comes in some of the seller dialogue.

At one point, Lizzie says to Mika, "You're not like Sasha." And Mika asks, "Why?" Lizzie answers, "Because you're still here, and Sasha isn't." It’s a fairly callous thing for Lizzie to say, but in her mind, it's practical.

But if you apply that Carol and Beth, it sort of suggests that Beth will outlive Sasha. And then there's the, "I'm still here," theme that we heard at Grady around Beth and Carol.

I also think Lizzie silencing Judith in a creepy way might foreshadowed children dying around Carol.

After Carol shows up to help, Mika feels very proud of herself and says to Tyreese, "I didn't run. I didn't leave Lizzie."

Because Mika = Beth, it’s a mirror of Beth saying, "I'm not going to leave you."

After that, they walk along the tracks toward Terminus because the guy they found told them to him it would be safe. Carol tells Ty about driving back to the prison and seeing him run into the woods with he girls.

Ty says, “Maybe we can circle back. Find the car."

Carol refuses, saying, "the walkers, and the fire. We can't go back to the graveyard."

Think about her response for a minute. Because for a long time, what she says here made on sense to me. Why not go get the car? They could all sleep in it at night, if nothing else, and it would protect them from walkers. And maybe the car died or ran out of gas, but she doesn’t actually say that.

But I think what’s being implied here is that she left the car at the prison. When she saw Ty and the girls run into the woods, she got out, ran after them on foot

(kind like THIS maybe?)

And left the car behind. So if they went back to get it, they’d be faced with all the walkers that had overrun the prison, which was on fire when they left. So it makes sense that she wouldn’t want to risk that with the girls.

It strikes me as a foreshadow of what happens with Beth. Ty specifically mentions going back to find a car that was left behind. She talks about walkers and fire. I can see that being something she says to Daryl in S5 when he wants to go back to get Beth's body.

“Can’t go back to a graveyard.”

Maggie, Sasha and Bob:

We’ve said a million times that Bob is a Beth parallel (X). He says in this scene that he’s smiling because he's not alone. He has faith. That dialogue alone makes him Beth parallel.

Maggie says, "I couldn't find Beth, but Glenn, got out and I know which way he went." Again, not anything groundbreaking, just a foreshadow of her not finding Beth and not really getting her back in this arc.

That pesky school bus. I've actually done a lot of theories on the school bus (X, X, X). My question is, how did the people on the school bus die? If the bus left the prison, how did everyone end up dead in the middle of the road? The only thing that makes sense is that perhaps person aboard died (perhaps a stray bullet from the prison hit them) and they turned into a walker and chaos ensued. We’re never given a definitive answer, but it’s odd that they all left alive, and Maggie finds the bus a very short way down the road, and everyone on the bus is dead.

Sasha and Bob decide to let the walkers out one at a time and Maggie will kill them. They want to control the flow, so they don't get overwhelmed, and Maggie needs to know Glenn isn’t one of the dead inside.

A few things I need to say about this. Letting only one or two walkers at a time and then losing control, so they all come out at once, is exactly what happened with the boat in 10x01. We've actually seen this theme a lot, and it’s very entangled with the death fake out symbolism. First because Maggie thinks one of the walkers on the bus is Glenn, so this is a prequel to his S6 fake out, and then also because a blond walker falls out of the bus and hits the ground at Maggie’s feet. (Very Beth-ish).

Then it happens on a BOAT in 10x02. So I think something like this happened with Beth after Coda. I’m not sure what the circumstances would be, but we’ve seen this over and over again.

Maggie wears red shoelaces, which shows that she's in part of the death fake out sequence that involves Glenn. (They’re in their trial separation period.) She thought Glenn was on the bus and might be dead, but was happy to find out he wasn't there, and later they reunite. Meanwhile, 6x07/08, she's wearing the red shoelaces again when she climbs the ladder. Glenn survives and they reunite.

So, both a foreshadow of Glenn’s fake out, but also by extension, of Beth's.

Glenn and Tara:

Next, we see Glenn wake up at the prison. He wakes upon the broken bridge, which represents the broken community, because the prison just went down. I've also said before that, in terms of Maggie looking for Glenn, she thought he left the prison, and didn't even think to go back there to look for him. She simply continued her search outward. But at the time, he was actually back at the prison where she'd originally left him. I translate that into Beth. They would never think that she went back to the hospital, but we think that's exactly where she was when Daryl thought she was dead.

We see some alcohol references here as Glenn picks up the alcohol and ends up using it to get out of the prison with Tara.

Something else I suddenly realized when watching this episode. The virus at the prison might actually tie to the radiation, the helicopter group, and the water scarcity. Why? Well, Glenn got sick with the virus, but managed to pull through. Right before the Gov attacked the prison, Maggie said she was going to get him some water. She never actually got it for him as the prison was attacked and they had to make a run for it. She did go back and get him and put him on the bus, but didn’t bring him water. So, I feel like there's a tie there between illness and water. Perhaps surviving radiation sickness and then finding water?

(Remember that in FTWD S4, the group actually got methanol (or was it ethanol) poisoning from drinking bad water. So we’ve seen sickness and water be linked more than once.)

Also, keep in mind that at the end of this episode, Glenn and Tara meet new people (Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita) who came from where? Texas. And that's exactly where the Fear crew currently is and we think they will probably run into the helicopter people.

Glenn passes out. I always kind of assumed it was because he was still weak from recovering from the virus. That's probably true. But those who got sick became really dehydrated and Glenn needed water, which again, Maggie never actually got for him. So once he left the prison, I think she passed out from dehydration. I went and looked at the next episode where he wakes up in the back of Abraham’s truck. Sure enough, the first thing Tara does when Glenn wakes up is offer him more water. After that, he recovers completely. We don't really see him being sick again. That's probably because not only has he already recovered from the virus, but he has access to plenty of water.

So I’m seeing this as a foreshadow that TF will experience some kind of illness, possibly from radiation. And on the heels of it, a water scarcity. Just when they’re almost dying from lack of water, some one will come from Texas (probably Morgan, one of the Fear crew, or possibly even Beth) to give them water.

So once again, we have a foreshadow of illness and water and people coming from Texas to save the day all wrapped up together, clear back in S4. Please don't try to tell me that this has been planned for a long time.

Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

[antiendgame]

you can post it! warning of basically all the spoilers ahead. Also warning for lots of salt. Very lengthy.

I felt very underwhelmed. I mean, this is the last movie in a 10 year sequence. It should have been of epic fucking proportions. And YET. It was very underwhelming. And I think I figured out a few of the reasons it felt that way.

First and foremost, there wasn’t enough emotional set up for the scenes. There are multiple moments where you’d expect a big emotional scene to happen, and it just doesn’t. I don’t know if this is a fault with the script, or if this is a fault with the directing. Either way, a lot of emotional moments were skipped over and it killed the movie’s emotional impact.

For instance, the very first scene of the movie. Hawkeye’s family gets dusted into nothing. They could have made it a very emotional spider-man-eske type of thing, and that would have made us empathize way more with Hawkeye, who has been M.I.A for several movies, and would explain (ish) the way he behaved later on, AND would have set up the mood for the movie just right. Instead we get the most underwhelming scene ever, where they don’t even disappear on screen. And we’re supposed to care about these characters?

There’s the after snapping moments, where their pain is not properly conveyed. Hell, they make a 5 year skip so they don’t have to show the characters in actual pain, we’re EXPECTING to see them suffering a lot. We only get that from Tony once and that’s most likely simply because RDJ does a lot of improvising and has the freedom to just be like that.

Another thing was the fact that they literally blasted all the side characters off into space, leaving us once again just with the main avenger cast. Like, this isn’t avengers movie 1, we want to see EVERYONE, we don’t want to see just the same old characters who have 3 movies each. WE WANT TO SEE THE NEW CHARACTERS WTH. Captain marvel was barely in this movie and I am salty about it, don’t @ me.

ALSO, because of this, the movie seems old and like something we’ve seen before, it doesn’t feel ~fresh~ or new. I get it if the source material also goes like that, but I think it was a wasted opportunity removing all the cool “side” characters from the whole movie basically.

There were quite a feel other scenes where there was a lack of emotional setup. There were a lot of moments where you’d expect more struggle to happen and there wasn’t enough. There was a lot of what I interpreted as fanservice that did nothing for the plot and was just a cheap attempt at raising an emotional response, but failed miserably at it. read: the tony/cap back to the 70′s part. just cringe honestly.

Then there’s the last battle scenes of the movie which… istg. Okay, so this characters have been zapped back to life like what, a million seconds ago (hyperbole) and they only come into scene in this very specific moment for the battle? underwhelming. We should have seen them ALL come back and interact with the cast. Another wasted emotional moment. OR they should have IMMEDIATELY come back after the snap which makes me think the snap should have happened later on, the gap of time between when they were back and when they showed up murdered anticipation and the impact that scene would have. We already knew they were back because of the phone call and the birds. They literally stripped the scene of emotional impact.

Other than that. Cap’s little Mjolnir moment. Wth. Look, okay, fine, his whole ‘I can lift it now’ would have been useful 300 movies ago, but fine. AT LEAST make it look like there’s some sort of (inner) struggle, make a scene where he looks at it with uncertainty, and then just decides you know what fuck it, let me see if I can lift it. Boy, that would have been a soul chilling moment. Instead we get this pathetic “i could lift it all along” bullshit and I’m not having it.

Also, if I may add. There was a lack of grand soundtrack moments.

And the worst, the absolute worst. TIME PARADOXES AND INCONSISTENCIES ALL MOVIE LONG. Like, omg, Nebula shot HER PAST FUCKING SELF. She shot HER PAST SELF. She would NO LONGER EXIST IN THE FUTURE IF SHE KILLS HERSELF IN THE PAST. LIKE WTF. And yet, there she still fucking is. You can’t even claim that it was an alternative timeline her, because they’re from the exact same timeline, just different points of it. She would be dead, period.

And do not get me started on the implications changes to the timeline would have, and wether the realities are branched or not in this movie. It’s impossible to know.

Oh, and captain america suddenly can age now? I don’t know if I missed something about his character and he just was always able to age or something but that did not felt right to me. I haven’t read the comics and the movie is the only source material I had, and to my understanding he can’t age, or does it very slowly, so it was quite confusing to see him so old.

The only death scene properly done in this movie (cinematography wise) was Tasha’s and it still wasn’t all that great. At least, they had an awesome fight along with it, which added some uncertainty. Not that she should have died, because wtf, but that’s for another time. But Tony’s? wth That was not properly done, at all. Like, look what the fucking stones did to the Hulk. I expect Tony’s body to look like a literal barbecue and for him to die almost immediately after. Instead we get another cringey scene with Tom holland where they tried to emulate the end of the last movie but failed miserably. Just let this kid act normally for fucks sake.

I can’t believe they could have Carol put on the gauntlet and missed that opportunity. If she can one up Thanos and survive space, she would be the one other person along with the Hulk you’d expect to survive snapping the stones. Basically I can’t believe they missed the chance to include her in the fucking movie, because she was supposed to be an important part of it. Fuck these directors, wth. All that “well before you didn’t have me” and she basically did nothing?? It just made her sound entitled and out of touch. Were they salty about Captain Marvel or something? Where they purposefully trying to dimish her role in this out of misoginy? Hate it. Fuck they even had Thor say “I’m the strongest avenger” when we all know it’s Carol.

Anyway, that’s my salty analyses of where the movie fucked up. 4/10, had potential but fucked it up. They’re lucky there was the hype of the decade around this movie otherwise people would skip it after the disappointment rushed in. And they’re lucky Disney has power to monopolize the market enough to force theaters to only play this movie for like months in order to secure cash. It wasn’t terrible, but it could’ve been great. (submitted via i-fear-oceans)

want to submit your own post on this blog? submit it here

#thanks for sharing! although i dont agree with everything i really appreciated reading your analysis of the movie! #and youre absolutely right this movie is a 4/10 #avengers: endgame spoilers #anti endgame #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #clint barton #tony stark #carol danvers #submission #i-fear-oceans #i dont think this posted the first time so i'm reposting it!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

it’s like a funky lil Matter Of Interest to kind of discover things that i might be good at like, theoretically.........there’s a fair handful of things i’m pretty decent at but like, the Knowledge doesn’t go too far and with zero sense of “yes i can pursue this” it’s all still so theoretical but it’s like “hm wonder what alternate timeline me’s are up to” kind of lol

i’ve totally got the heart of a physicist, and also i love math and i’m alright at it though sometimes it gets tricky b/c with math sometimes you’ve got to learn something without necessarily understanding the fundamentals and then later on / upon learning something more you come back around and Get it finally, but Often i need to feel i grasp those fundamentals......but i’ve still been able to do fine in that Higher Math realm so probably it’d be not that much of a problem. i didn’t go Too advanced in either physics or math but like, i know i like them a lot and i get riled up abt topics in these fields the way physicists and mathematicians do. idk if i’d like chemistry maybe too, but yeah physics and math

i’m good at languages actually and always want to learn but god knows this is more for myself than like, oh i’ll be able to become fluent and become a translater / interpreter, b/c that’s not going to happen but i like to Know anyways. combine this and the above and it’s like would i be good at programming? i don’t know because hilarious i only took one Intro To class for like, a week and a half b/c without the suggested prereq i was already like oops i don’t know what i’m doing! it’s not as good as the time i went to this class for like three days and was so detached that i cannot now remember what the class even was. but the brief initial taste of coding was like ohh i might like this. but that’s all i have to go on so it’s very theoretical and i’m lucky if i can remember the html for a hyperlink

i was kinda into art history and i’m Interested in history-related stuff in general but i’m interested in many things so this doesn’t mean a ton and i’ve rarely had the motivation to pursue much here so idk just an interest

speaking of just an interest i sure like birds but what do you do with that. i’ve generally been an “interested in animals” person but that’s always shifted like oh dinosaurs oh birds oh dolphins oh idk should i be a farm vet? what can i even do with the fact i think birds are really cool. Not Much. i just think they’re neat

i’m alright at cooking and i like it. but i’m also alright at transcribing and i like it. just things i like to do, really. like sort / organize things even though i’m not an organized person at all

oh i mean people know i sort of like to draw and that’s something i’ve kept up but i’m not exaggerating when i say that the way i use it now, aka occasional fanart for exactly whatever purely self-indulgent thing i wanna draw re: my Interests, is the only way i use it lol. i guess it makes me Creative but i’m not ~original~ b/c i’ve for real Never been someone who has Original Ideas. i’ll totally own it if that makes my drawing abilities Not Real or i’m not Good Enough or whatever like, people always seem to have this notion that everyone has Original Stories inside them and it’s a matter of practice or confidence or whatever, but i just don’t think that’s necessarily the case that the only way people can express themselves / create / live their Truest Existence is through original stories and inventions or etc. that’s just not relevant to me and if that’s a waste of my ability to draw (and very occasionally write-ish) then like, that’s just how it goes! nobody was entitled to it in the first place and i don’t consider any of my interests or what i do for myself a waste.

i always forget things about myself like that i practiced ballet for eleven years and was actually getting fairly good at that too.......since i had no experience w high school theatre, that was my sorta parallel experience w stage / dramatic productions and actually i thrived and had a great time and also had that parallel experience being a tenor who was always having to sing quieter despite their being like 3-4 tenors and 16 sopranos/altos and all in all i should’ve picked up on being a theatre gay sooner but here we are. probably would’ve had fun with it in high school maybe possibly!! but i didn’t go to high school and then i didn’t have the Experience for the college productions and now here i am today

probably the idea that you need to figure out your one true passion is kind of code for “build your career in capitalism” but still it’s like hmmm if i Was going to get to pursue that Interest i wonder what i’d like to do. i can really throw myself into things sometimes so it’s chill to think of like, yeah what if i got to like, do something i was really into and then be getting the results of that and getting to continue. sounds wild!!! and idk what it’d be which is why it can be a bit neat to wonder about

[faithfulhound]

RP meme - ✍, ▲, ♫

✍ : Offer 3-5 tips on how to get other role players started on interacting with your muse.

Well, the surefire way is to message me.  I… can be a little slow with responding.  Some days I want to chat and some days I want to write and doing both at the same time can be hard because it throws off my focus.  But I’m always down to talk plots with people.  If we can find a way to make it work, then I’m all for it. (Which reminds me, I owe a couple of people message replies.  ^_^;  Very sorry!)

If you’re messaging me first, (especially if we’ve never RPed before) try to have a couple of generic ideas ready to throw at me.  (It’s not a requirement - just a nice thing to work off of.)  And don’t be discouraged if I shoot anything down.  It’s nothing personal, I promise. ^_^  It just means we need to find other ways to make things happen.  I’ve got one partner right now where it took us weeks of throwing ideas around before we settled on something that worked for both of us.

If we’ve RPed before and you were the last one to reply, but (for whatever reason) decided to drop the RP without talking to me, then come talk to me now.  There won’t be any hard feelings about it, I promise.  RPs get dropped for lots of reasons all the time.  I am big on talking and communication.  I think the RPC as a whole would function SO much better if people weren’t so afraid to talk to each other.  But yeah - if you don’t tell me you’re still interested in more RPs, I’ll assume that you’re not and leave things alone.

I’m not super confidant regarding sentence memes (as you can see from how few I’ve posted) but you’re welcome to send one in.  You can also go digging through my meme tag.  There are some other starter-ish things there.  All I ask is (if we haven’t RPed before) please don’t send in anything that suggests Gel already knows your muse.  RPs like that are very hard for me to write.  :-/

And finally, I have a small handful of open starters, too.  But send me a message to let me know you’re replying to one because they’re all old enough that I don’t always check my thread tracker archive for them.  ^_^;

▲ : What sort of information do you like to see on someone’s role play page that helps you determine whether or not you would want to write with them?

A bio that’s more than just a small list of stats is nice but not necessary.  Doesn’t have to be a ton of paragraphs or anything.  Just enough to give me a general feel for the muse.  (It helps me with plotting.)  But if you’re willing to come to me and just talk about your muse, then that works, too. :)  I’m flexible.

Rules or Guidelines page.  Having this is a little more important to me.  I just like to know where I stand, and what may or may not be issues for the other person.  There ARE a few rules that are an automatic ‘deal-breakers’ for me.  I’m not sure I should say what they are because I don’t want to ruffle feathers, but if I see them, I generally won’t interact.  It’s nothing personal, just me doing what I can to protect myself from revisiting certain former situations.

Aside from that… I can’t think of anything?  A verses page is always nice to browse through, or if your muse has been around awhile, a timeline page is nice (and it’s something I need to add for Gelert…) but otherwise, I’m not all that picky.  ^_^

♫ : Are there parts of your own personality that you reflect onto your character? How do they work?

I am actually very adamant about the fact that none of my muses are me, or connected to me, in ANY way.  If I’m feeling upset, I don’t need or want a bunch of RPs where Gelert is upset, too.  If I’m angry about something, Gelert isn’t going to suddenly become angry, too.  What happens OOC in NO WAY reflects on IC interactions.  Likewise, if Gelert is angry about something IC, that doesn’t mean I’m angry about the same thing.  I am not my muse, and my muse is not me.  We are 100% separate entities.

And!  I just realized that question could be interpreted differently.  Oops?  I do gravitate towards characters that reflect bits of my personality.  With @humblestudentofbeauty it’s his gentle, artistic nature.  With @forgeofsedition, it’s his love for knowledge and the written word.  With Gelert it’s his trusting nature.  Gelert, like me, has been through a lot that doesn’t get talked about.  EVER.  Our experiences themselves are different, naturally, but we both came out of those things with our ability to trust still intact.  Thankfully.

#Anonymous #Answered #// This is probably WAY more than you wanted or needed Nonnie. ^_^; #If you have further questions about anything I mentioned above #Please feel free to ask. #As you can tell - I like to talk about RP-related stuff. #Sorry - not sorry? ^_^;

[allbeendonebefore]

my queue has basically run out on this blog (h o w) and I realized I forgot to post some of my weekly update blogging from my studyblr so... look forward to a couple of those out of order for a few days I guess?

Uhhh other than that I’ve been keeping myself sane with doing huevember and a sort of trial timeline for Ed- I reblog everything to do with history/classics/personifications to this blog once a week on sundays, but if you want all the art as i post it you can look at my art blog for that junk. I’ve kind of given up posting on deviantArt because I don’t really get much out of it anymore so unless someone desperately wants me back on there... y’all are here anyway so here I am.

I basically have two big school papers and a final next week and then one more big paper-thing after that so... after that I’ll (probably) be home for Christmas and Finally have access to my tablet again so that will be fun! 

Things I wanted to do with it include finally frigging drawing out chapter 7 of AaSA which is more or less ready to go, drawing more Canadian history junk (which can’t be on manga studio until Quatsch is able to lend me the CD again which is going to involve some serious inter-provincial wrangling over the summer), and... I feel like I’m forgetting something important. My general usual shenanigans I guess. Please god don’t let me start an ask blog because whenever the holidays roll around I think about making one to keep myself busy and it’s a bad idea for my work process, don’t let me do it, I’ve done it twice and both have ended up dead and unaddressed lol.

Like I’ve been writing stuff about a potential Dominion Day Sequel as you’ve probably seen which I’ve been wanting to do for ages because western canadian history is my JAM but it’s difficult because I’m like... ‘how angsty should this be’ on a dramatic/literary level but also ‘how do i reconcile all these forces and entities without either creating unnecessary characters or addressing characters who I feel uncomfortable creating and/or developing without trivializing or marginalizing them etc etc.’ I’m kind of... stretching some definitions and making a bit of a contradictory mess but it’s fun so... yeah. Willing to talk more but uhhh let me know i guess if you want more details otherwise I could just be rambling into the void as I usually do. I’m cool to chat about this stuff whenever because talking = wrapping my head around a topic. 

The biggest issue that I’m sort of using as a theme in the story is the ahh... arbitrariness of borders I guess, the arbitrary colonialist attitudes towards divvying up Western Canada that don’t necessarily match up with other provinces, and the exceptional treatment of Western Canada (and remember, I’m excluding bc here because bc is an entirely different can of worms) as property. It’s a fun thing to dissect with the characters I’m given but it also makes things a little bit fuzzy to the point that they could be a real stretch and never properly or clearly answered so I’m like... trying to clarify an interpretation that is both educational and actually makes sense and that’s always a hard line to draw. I didn’t have this exact problem when writing about Eastern Canada lmao but I’m sure if I were to delve more into Matt as a character than I did, I would have.

wow why was I writing again

anyway it’s lunch time and yeah just popping in to say the queue is dead-ish but I’m alive so -salutes-

#hapo rambles

[thumper-darling]

all the writer asks? and can you use your current story for the blank ones?

1. Favorite place to write.

My most productive nights writing were spent in hotel rooms with cheap black coffee and terrible lighting. It sets a very motivating vibe. 

2. Favorite part of writing.

Creating and developing characters. Character arcs?? are ?? my favorite??

3. Least favorite part of writing.

writing ™ 

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

Yeah, procrastinating for months. :’)

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

Patrick Ness and Stephen Chbosky are pretty big idols of mine

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Cadence, she’s my hero 

7. Favorite author.

Rainbow Rowell or Patrick Ness

8. Favorite trope to write.

Coming of Age Angst ™ and realistic development for the main character

9. Least favorite trope to write.

Love triangles or over-dramatic and non-realistic romantic interests. 

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

I’d love to work with Chbosky and write a spin-off of Perks of Being a Wallflower, or like a potential sequel? That would make my actual dreams come true. 

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

In the beginning, I print off a million character questionnaires and fill out every detail about my main characters. It’s funny, because my characters always come first, and the story soon follows. After I know my characters inside and out, I think in their mindset for days and write down notes about things I for sure want to include in my story whether it be a plot twist or just a small piece of dialogue. Once I find the character’s voice, I feel ready to start writing the story.

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I’m still not great with this, because I have a LOT of self-doubt, but I know that writing is what I want to pursue. I just remember that I have talent and I shouldn’t worry about the first draft because the first draft is almost always awful.

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I read. A lot. Reading helps spark ideas and un-stick my story.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

OH MY GOD. I would look at maps and historic timelines. I filled nearly 4-5 pages of a journal just with a timeline of events and it was lit. 

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

Literally anything. That bench on the corner? INSPIRED. Pulling out of a driveway? INSPIRED. That sandwich looks tasty. INSPIRED. No, but in all seriousness I just observe my surroundings at all times and in an average day I can pull an idea out of something. 

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

I just think of my future and what impact/ message I’d like to leave behind to anybody who reads my writing. 

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

None. Writing isn’t something I can do everyday. Some days I’m more inspired and motivated than others. If I try writing when I don’t have the energy, it turns out forced and choppy. I let the motivation come to me.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

I typically like to wait a week or two before re-reading and editing, that way I can have space from my writing. I do it gradually through out the story so I can draw potential ideas from what I have so far. 

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Version 1: “The shop had been empty for a little over an hour, and Charlotte was beginning to grow restless.”

Version 2: “Charlotte had a look of determination set in the furrow of her eyebrows and curiosity in the gleam of her eyes.”

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

“Whenever Jordyn spoke, it was reminiscent of watching an old southern film. Her slight, hidden drawl was nothing less than soothing. Charlotte sometimes liked to picture her with obnoxiously tight ringlet curls and big, poofy southern belle dresses with frilly ribbons and lace. The thought brought a subtle snort from Charlotte.”

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

Version 1: “He just followed his feet, and they lead him to her.”

Version 2: “His only response was a smirk before he opened the door to the back alley.”

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

At least a million

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Single, I feel like it leaves for more mystery. That way the reader can interpret different POV’s for themselves. 

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Prose, rhyming isn’t my forte 

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

Depends on the story I’m trying to tell. Sometimes one way has more impact than another. 

26. Standalone or series, and why?

Standalones are beautiful for some stories, but others simply must be more than just one book long. Some stories exceed one book.  

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 

I share drafts with people I trust to edit or give me feedback. 

28. And who do you share them with?

My friends that love stories. 

29. Who do you write for?

Mainly for myself, but also for anybody that needs to hear the message my story can offer them. 

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

“So, as a sign of letting go, I introduced my lips to his cheek and the sound of my skin meeting his was a melody playing a sweet goodbye.”

“Kissing him was like kissing air or water, it was so sweet and slow that it was a natural instinct to flow with it. However, kissing her was like fire because it was warm, inviting, and compelling, but had all the potential to burn him. Their love was like melting into each other, neither would make it out alive.”

31. Hardest character to write.

Side characters or the main character’s family. Because those characters are always important and meaningful, but I don’t want to write them only as a means of helping the main character. I hate flat characters and everybody deserves to have a story, you know?

32. Easiest character to write.

The sidekick ™ 

The one who always knows just what to say and how to say it. 

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?

Only for specific scenes that music could really inspire me for. Like if I’m writing a sad scene and I’m not really in that head space, I listen to depressing ass music so I can understand the scene better. 

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

Both. Here, have some of my notes.

Just some random dialogue drabbles:

 “So, can I find you here often?” “Jamie…I work here.” “Oh, yeah, right. Of course.”

“There’s nothing beautiful nor poetic about being an asshole, Jenny. Calm down.”

“Listen, you’ll always be a jalapeno bagel and strawberry cream cheese to me, but I sort of feel like I should know your name by now.” 

“Emma, have you ever been in love?” “I might have been. Then again, girls are easy to love, I’m pretty sure Jamie is a different story. If you want my advice Charlotte, date a girl.” 

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

The main character is named Charlotte Caroline Tillman. She’s named after the city and state(ish) that her parents met in. She has an older brother named Chance and a calico cat named Sally Mae. Charlotte goes to an Arts Magnet High School and she has a troubled history with her father, and a lot of the story is about her accepting things she cannot change. Her best friend, Emma, is v gay and v hot. 

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Charlotte ends up leaving town and everyone she loves. All that’s left behind is a note and a phone number. She leaves her life behind. No closure and no goodbyes. She’s kind of a dick. 

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everybody has a story, and every one is worth being told.” 

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

Lol no, my outline isn’t even finished homeboy

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

I usually base my side characters off of people I know or have met, even if only for a brief moment. For example, today at work I saw somebody and instantly knew that I needed her in my story. She is now the inspiration for my character Jenny. 

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Both are equally fun and important. Fanfiction is an amazing starting point for beginners, and it helps them write. However, original fiction is so raw and new that it could inspire future writers. 

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

Typically just one, but I always have other stories in the back of my head. I like to focus on one at a time though, that way I can keep characters and plot points straight. 

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

Well, like I’ve said, my characters come first. So based on whatever kind of story I want to tell, my character has to portray that. So I pick and choose different tropes and arc ideas that could impact the story even further. 

43. Are you an avid reader?

I heckin’ try to be. Sadly, I don’t always get into stories easily. 

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I had an English teacher write a note on one of my writing pieces telling me that she knew I had talent and every teacher has one student where they think “That one…that one’s gonna be the one who makes it” I was that student for her. Oh, and my composition professor had my class read some of our writing pieces, and he told the next semester’s class about my writing. The next time I had him in class, he handed me a form for a writing contest. 

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I honestly probably blocked it out. Idk, probably that I use too many commas? Or that one of my chapters was written in a passive voice. 

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie? 

OH MAN! It would be great and I feel like a lot of the stories I write would be 100 times better on the big screen. 

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Characters. 

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Contemporary or science fiction

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

The middle

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

A coven of teenage witches that were randomly selected to be given magic. Some of them became corrupt with power, and the others found good use for them. 

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

Self love, friendship, denial, heavy, heartbreaking 

52. How did writing change you?

It opened my mind to endless ideas and helped me grow. I often didn’t know what I was feeling until I wrote about it. 

53. What does writing mean to you?

It means creating a million versions of yourself and turning it into a lesson or inspiration for other. 

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Don’t stop. There are so many things you have to tell the world, so tell them. 

#ask

[gaiatheorist]

“Good enough.”

Jagged Little Pill was a good album in 1995, the recent-ish internet brouhaha about it being ‘bad’ was a matter of perspective and perception. The album hasn’t changed, we have, we’re almost a quarter of a century older, we observe and experience events and stimuli differently. I was 18 years old in 1995, and, when the ex bought me the CD, I loved it. Alanis, with her waist-length natural hair, her jeans-and-shirts, and her erratic, jerky ‘dancing’, she wasn’t blonde, covered in make-up, wearing a couple of hankies, her ‘alternative’ appealed to me. Lyrically, I was ‘there’, too, a confused, conflicted creature, on the cusp of ‘real’ womanhood, with All These Feelings, and no idea what to do with them. (Spoiler, I became ‘Mary Jane.’) 

I ‘joked’ with my psychologist, about a month, or maybe six weeks ago, “Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill, track three, ‘Perfect’, that’s the theme-song for my life.” I was only half-joking, and he’s about 12 years old, he probably has no clue who Alanis Morissette is, possibly even what a CD is. I haven’t pulled my ‘Catholic guilt complex/Protestant work ethic’ card on him yet, I’m trying to keep a lid on my ‘humour’, there’s a time and a place for that, and when the NHS is trying to fix multiple complex medical and mental issues in me isn’t it. (Mental is medical, but there’s a distinct lack of communication between the three different hospitals attempting to sort me out. Share notes, kids, I have long-term mental health issues, brain injuries, and a raft of physical issues, what you’re doing here is attempting to refurbish a house without letting the plumber or electrician see the blueprints, because that’s the architect’s department.) 

Cognitive Analytic Therapy, ‘A 16-week, intensive, relational therapy’, it’s not perfectly aligned with where I am, or what I need, but it’s what the NHS has, for people who tick the boxes I do. (Analytic-slant on that, I don’t have a formal diagnosis, I’m on a waiting list for that, ‘nobody knows’ whether my disordered thinking is learned/reactive behaviour, or if it’s an organic issue, and my atypical responses are down to structural differences in my brain. Or, I might just be a drama-queen.) Eight weeks in tomorrow, we’re making progress, even if some of it is sideways, he’s identified the three areas he thinks cycle-breaking would be productive in, and I’m working with him, not against him. (Which is not to say I didn’t become prickly and resistant when he identified them, my first impulse was the Arya Stark “That’s not me.”, it almost-always is, but we’ve discussed the issues I had with what he said/wrote, and how I interpreted it. I thrive on criticism/challenge, because I have an inherent need to prove myself. I’m less adept at accepting externally imposed instructions. Tell me I can’t do something, and I’ll do it twice, and take a photograph as evidence, tell me what to do, or how to do it, I’ll almost-always balk, and think of a better way.)  

‘Dealing with overwhelming and difficult emotions’, ‘Pushing people away when I feel they are getting too close’ and  ‘Unrealistic standards and expectations of self and others.’ The first two are very logical in my strange-brain, they’re embedded-protective. I ‘can’ deal with difficult emotions, as long as I can pinpoint a trigger, or reason for them, once I know why I’m melancholy, or apathetic, or, as I was last week, hopeless, I can generally self-resolve. Overwhelming emotions are different, the clue is in the name. I recognise the structure of the thought-pattern, but my ‘shelving’ strategy works, in the short-term. I distract and deflect from the overwhelming ones, because they’re not safe states to be in. Last Thursday, I had brief but pervasive thoughts that there was no point to anything, I didn’t quite tip into suicidal ideation, but I knew I was close, so I distracted myself by making a complicated set of curries for dinner. It worked, I couldn’t wallow in the futility of everything while I had pans to watch, and ingredients to time. As a bonus, the curries were really good. Pushing people away is learned behaviour, I keep most people at arm’s length, because, as I keep telling the therapist “I don’t need 500 friends on Facebook, that’s superficial nonsense, and I don’t have mind-space for that triviality.” Atypical female behaviour, we’re conditioned to approval-seek, and buy into faff and flounce to fit in. No, thank you.  Over the course of my life, I’ve ‘cut off’ more people than I can count, when they cross my imaginary lines. ‘Friends’ complicate everything, and I’m quite complicated enough to begin with. In the last four years, I’ve had far too many people tell me I ‘have to’ join in, do things, that I’m doing life all wrong because they do it differently. I’m not them.

The ‘unrealistic standards and expectations’ genuinely offended me. The therapist’s time is structured, and he has a fixed quantity of content to bring to each session. I’ll blow my own trumpet, here, for three, or four weeks, I was ‘sitting on’ “How DARE you assume to know what I’m capable of?”, without blowing up, and pushing him away. His thought-process is that I’m dismissive of anything I view as less-than-perfect, I have it in writing, based on one comment, from one session “I’ve had a load of shitty jobs, that I don’t mention on my CV, and then I found my niche, and I was excellent, until I wasn’t.”  He’s also observed “I’ve noticed that when you feel a difficult emotion rising, you stop yourself, and that seems to work.” It does work, that’s why I do it. My over-analytical, pattern-seeking brain wonders if he thinks I view the difficult emotions as less-than-perfect, and that’s why I push them under? That’s surface-scratching, and I’m a deep-cutter, while the difficult emotions, and pattern of “I’ll deal with that later.” ‘could’ trigger the rumination-resentment cycle, I also know that bouncing off on a tangent would derail the session, and we’re already over-schedule. Square peg, round hole, he is more attuned than the GPs who’d ask me if I was “A bit weepy” when I was chronically depressed, but his time is structured, the therapy timeline is fixed, we quite simply do not have time for me to have a breakdown about past-events that have profoundly damaged me, so I rein it in. 

Semantic-pedantic, we’re clashing on ‘good enough’. That’s where the wider-focus lens comes in. I don’t want, or need an Instagram-perfect life, that particular perception of perfection isn’t me. (There’s a long-ago conversation with an old manager, “How do you DO that?” “I just do.” “Why don’t you ask someone else to do X?” “They wouldn’t do it right.” “Ah, perfectionist?” “No, control-freak.” There’s a reason I ended up with the ‘...any other duties’ role of checking all outgoing documentation for various departments, I did it right, except that one time I didn’t.) The psychologist is concerned that I’m over-reaching, “What will happen if you aren’t allocated a place, or funding, for this OU degree?” “I’ll be down one postage stamp, and have the same qualifications I have now.” The rage-bubble, that he’d stated a month ago, that an OU degree might be ‘too much’ had reduced to a gentle simmer by the time we spoke about it. “I know you weren’t patronising, but I felt you made an assumption, nobody knows what my baseline was, so it’s unfair to assume my capability.” 

‘Good enough’ is both subjective and objective, and I believe that’s part of the issue. I had a discussion yesterday with someone online about the subjective assumptions people-in-general make about ‘unemployed people’, and the objective reality of navigating the UK’s Universal Credit systems. We’re malingering, we’re just not trying hard enough, if we went for a nice walk, or did a bit of goat-yoga, we’d be fine... I’m on a long leash in terms of my Universal Credit ‘Claimant Commitment’, having ‘Limited Capacity for Work’ means that I don’t have to complete the full 35 hours a week of searching for any/all suitable employment. (Paying minimum wage, up to 48 hours per week, within 90 minutes of home etc.) I have brain injuries, I’m barely lucid for 48 hours per week, I’d present a significant risk of harm to self or others if I accepted, and was accepted for ‘any/all suitable’. That doesn’t mean I’m not trying. I’m trying for four hours a week, in high-end Mental Health therapy, another two hours in Social Prescribing activity, and then a further five hours a week doing OU freebie-courses. My Claimant Commitment is 5 hours a week, I’m doing more than double that, in case the therapeutic hours aren’t ‘good enough.’  

There’s the rub. A proportion of society would demonise me for ‘sitting on my arse’ while they’re out on a 9-5. My therapist thinks I’m setting unrealistic targets of what I ‘can’ achieve, and DWP’s pincer-movement wants me to prove I ‘am’ trying, to qualify for unemployment benefit, but will likely use that evidence to prove I’m not-disabled-enough for disability benefit. I’m stuck in the middle, not good enough for any of them, or myself.