#I punched the shit out of a dragon until death in D&D this evening | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lukeskyrunner1 · 8 months

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I have this idea for my D&D campaign and I'm going to say it because there is nothing stopping me! (coffees and dragons please DO NOT READ THIS POST OR SPOILERS WILL COME)

well, this is going to be a long one so be warned (also first post so idk how this works)

I have 7 players and I'm going to say every single one of their characters names because I'm going to refer to their characters a lot and I don't want this to be messy.

Lilith (an asexual succubus that resigned her work and currently has the "doomed ones fire")

Sirwick (a guy who's wife and daughter were slaughtered and has a gun, also is the death goddess champion)

Eldar Wizard (a guy who's mom died because mafia)

Calíope (a young woman who's mother and father died when she was young so she has to take care of her 11 brothers and sisters but now has gone for some adventures to get money)

Soul (a tiefling (who I prefer to think about as non binary because when the player explained their gender I did not understand anything) that is a cleric for a god)

Endora (don't really know a lot about her character just that she is royalty)

and here should go a character for a player that hasn't made it yet so let's get to the point.

The party is currently in the "space" plane, they are looking for the temple of Soul's god (Everbright), what it's going to happen is that they will enter the temple and soul is going to get in contact with Everbright and will talk with them because their relationship is shit, so there is going to be like a weird talk where Soul is going to become a sort of avatar for Everbright, then they come out of the temple and have a fight with something really powerful and they see how strong soul is and all this time Sirwick feels his connection with the death goddess weakened until he doesn't feel it anymore.

At the end of that they beggin walking somewhere forgettable and they are encountered by a mysterious figure that says something along the lines of:

-You don't recognise me Sirwick? I'm your new replacement, the crow queen (goddess of death) feels you not being as much of a... bringer of death as you should. Oh what do we have here, Everbright herself! what a pleasure it will be to finally kill a god.

And he just begins punching and destroying Soul even with their Goddess helping until he calls her coward and takes Everbright out of Soul's body and begins a fight that is much more difficult but he still only with his hands obliterates her and kills her.

after that he says something like:

-Oh, I'm getting all the fun stuff, I should of waited for my friends!

and 3 more mysterious figures appear behind them and because of light angles and a little green mist they can't see their faces. After that, the mysterious man tells them something like:

-We are the bringers of death, we bring Hunger, Plagues and War into this world, we are the apocalypse riders (sorry if this is wrong traduction, I'm Spanish speaking).

and he declares himself as death.

the party runs away and learn about the vestiges, old weapons of the gods from the gods war, and also learn that with one of them get to a potential godly power, that the apocalypse riders have 5 of them each and that if even 1 of the riders is at (place I haven't thought about yet) the gods war will start again obliterating every lifeform. So they decide to stop the riders getting Vestiges and just killing them before they can get to that place.

1st vestige they get is Sirwicks ring of time, they travel to a great library said to be the home of a vestige, he actually finds the god of time himself and has a conversation in wich the god says something like:

-I have already seen what the future awaits and you will not get my vestige nor win the war, this effort is useless and already written, there is nothing you can or will do to surprise me, for wich I do not see time a line or branch, but as a single dot, everything all at once.

and Sirwick somehow will confuse him and he will give him his ring that has the power to make him make like a checkpoint in time, he can go back at the last one and everything resets except some enemy's attacks and his HP.

Then (at some point) Soul finds a way to become their gods essence because gods can't really die until their kingdoms are destroyed so they become the new god of light.

Then (at some other point) Lilith has to travel to the doomed realm to get her vestige, a black crown that she puts the doomed fire inside of it making it very very powerful with some necromancer hablitys.

so, that's the end of the vestiges and I published this here because I wanted to know if anyone has any idea of what vestiges could be given to any other character. thanks for reading

#dungeons and dragons

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voidsentprinces · 3 years

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FGO is a mythological fanfic clusterfuck...

Prologue: You are an unassuming man or madam who briefly meets their classmate, Mash. And angers their tsundere superior in Chaldea. An organization made to stop the end of the world. The one guy standing around and dressed like “I am an evil villain”. Turns on Chaldea and all the people suppose to go get blown up before they can embark on their first mission. This explosion sends you flying into Fuyuki with your Tsundere Superior and your classmate turned servant. You are the worst choice to save humanity from the end of the world. But now the only option.

Storyline of Fuyuki: Ah, good to be back in OG Fuyuki. Except everything is one fire, most of humanity is dead, and you have to escort a tsundere superior around while your classmate learns how to be a servant. Everyone is evil except Cu Chulainn who is a wizard and is your drunk uncle here to impart wisdom and snark.

Storyline of Orleans: Jeanne D’Arc comes back as Darth Vader leading an army of other historical villains including Elisabeth Báthory , Dracula, Marie Antonette’s Executioner, the Phantom of the Opera, and Darth Lancelot. You team up with Jedi Master Jeanna D’Arc as well as a younger for some reason dragonkin version of Elisabeth Báthory (just to make thing confusing), Marie Antionette, Motherfuckin’ Mozart, Kiyohime and Sigfried to stop her. Also dragons are everywhere. Darth D’Arc exists because Bluebeard wanted to give her catharsis.

Storyline of Septem: What if Emperor Nero wasn’t completely off his fucking rocker, came back as a fashionable wife, and has to fight previous Roman Emperors to get back Rome? Including a rotund Julius Caesar, an incoherent batshit Caligula, a young Alexander the Great and his hapless future successor who is an adult and just as confused as you, and Romulus. Whose death spawns Attilla the Hun as a space dressed waifu. And just to make their roles in history null and void. You enlist the help of Boudica and Spartcus to aid you. Also Jing Ke and mecha Lu Bu are there too.

Storyline of Okeanos: What if Francis Drake was a big tiddie pirate wife. Alright what if previously to your arrival she 1 v 1′d Poseidon and WON!? Alright now what if after getting her help, you fought Eric Bloodaxe, got trolled by Euryale to re-enact the myth of the Minotaur. But then the Minotaur turned out to be a good boi and joined you. Also Artemis carrying around Orion, Atlanta and David, King of Israel is there. So is Jason and some of the Argonauts but like just Medea and Heracles. Replacing the other Argonauts with Hektor from the Trojan War. Also you have to punch Blackbeard with Mary Read and Anne Bonny.

Story of London: There’s fog every where. You have to join forces with Traitor Knight, Mordred, Doctor Jeckyll, a kid Hans Christian, and Frakenstein’s Bride. Contending with Jack the Ripper, Mephistopheles, Hoienheim, Mecha Babbage, a bunch of Mannequins, and then the Mist of London just sort of summoned Nicoli Tesla and Darth Arthur to fight too. At the very end Tamamo no Mae and Sakata Kintoki arrive just to exit stage left immediately.

Story of E Pluribus Unum: Medb wants to fuck Darth Cu Chulainn but he’s not that interested. So she decides to fuck up Wild West America instead. Making Beowulf the Warden of Alcatrez, Fergus mac Roich the Heavy, and then kidnaps Rama’s Wife before mortally wounding him. Also she has to fight against Lion Headed Mecha Edison, Helena Blavatsky. The two of which are using Karna, Son of the Sun as the Bouncer. You convince a germ manic Florence Nightingale to aid you, pick up a wounded Rama on the way, as well as Robin Hood, Billy the Kid, young Elisabeth Báthory again, Geronomo and Nero who is trying to be an actress to fight them all. Also Scathach, Fionn Mac Cumhill and Diarmid are there too. But they just do things at random and Li Shuwen randomly shows up too.

Story of Camelot: What if the entire round table was just a bunch of psychopathic zealots who worthship the ground Arthur walked upon. And then got into a fight with Ozymandius and Nitrocris for the lulls while launching a magical tactical nuclear strike on the entirety of Crusader State Middle East. All the legends of Hassan is trying to stop them but Arash is there too. Tawara Tota is also there to distribute a shit ton of rice. Nothing you do here really matters. But Bedivere shows up to aid in the lackluster ending. Xuanzang Sanzang is also there.

Story of Babylonia: Not Enkidu answers to giant Medusa who is pretending to be Tiamat. Bringing about a massive army of demons and monsters to wipe out humanity in prehistoric Mesopotomia. Leonidas, Ushiwakamaru, and Benkai are doing their best to fight off the hordes. After three Demons go out like bosses before your arrival. Also young Medusa and Merlin are there cause why not? After befriending a woman in a tiger kigarumi, Quetzacoltal, Ishtar, and Ereshikigal. You find out defeating giant Medusa was a ploy to summon the real Tiamat and shit goes down. You eventually drop Tiamat into the Underworld where the First Hassan dewings her after which Ishtar, Ereshikigal, and Gilgamesh work together to defeat her. Ushiwakamaru is captured and comes back as an evil version of herself but with the aid Nekai and Quetzacoltal going out in a blaze of glory you defeat them all.

Story of Saloman: Every servant shows up to fight off Soloman and his Demons, turns out Soloman is the daemon Goetia possessing the corpse of Soloman. And the true Soloman is actually your acting director and base medical doctor. After your classmate sacrifices herself you defeat Goetia and Soloman decides he’s good for now and peaces out taking Goetia down with him and restoring humanity. Bringing your classmate back to life in the process.

But wait THERES MORE! The remaining Demons who survive the Goetia fight decide they’re mad they lost. So create some singularities to air out their grievances. Trapping you and the staff of Chaldea in a time space continuum until you hunt down and take them all out.

Story of Shinjuku: The League of Evil comprising of James Moriarty, Yan Qing, Darth Emiya, the Headless Horseman riding the Spirit of Vengeful Wolves, and the Phantom of the Opera take over 1990s Shinjuku for the fun of it. You have to enlist of the aid of James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, Darth Jeanne D’Arc, Darth Arthur Pendragon, and Edmond Dantes. Turns out Moriarty that was your ally was actually the true Moriarty and the one leading the League of Evil was the Demon you’re looking for. Summoning the power of all Fictional Detectives you defeat Moriarty. I shit you not.

Story of Agartha: Welcome to the Center of the Earth. Where the vast open plains are ruled by Darth Francis Drake, Penthesilea, and Wu Zetian. You are joined by Astolfo who takes the form of a cute anime girl but retains his gender, Chevalier d’Eon, and a young Fergus. Fighting the Queens and their respective empires with the aid of...sigh, Christopher Columbus. Surprising no one, Columbus turns out to be the true villain and with the aid of Shahrazad and a Demon almost Colony drops the Center of the Earth on top of the actual Earth, Age of Ultron style. But the power of friendship you win. Also Godzilla Heracles is running around.

Story of Shimosa: What if just after or before the Warring States period: Ashiya Doman, Yagyu Munenori, Minamoto no Raiko, Tomoe Gozen, Mochizuki Chiyome, and Shuten Doji showed up to fuck everything up? Including corrupting Hozoin Inshun just to be absolutely asinine? You get the power of a time traveling woman using the legend of Miyamoto Musashi to get into shenanigans. Also obtaining the aid of Fuma Kotaro and occasionally a robotic mecha Kato Danzo. The Demon sort of just appears backing Ashiya Doman.

Story of Salem: The Salem Witch trials but if done like the VVitch in a horror film manner. Not so much about the battles but about the atmosphere. As you, your classmate, Robin Hood, Charles Henri-Sanson, Nezha, Mata Hari, and the witch, Cirice posing as Medea for a few seconds there. Have to pose as a traveling circus of storytellers and entertainers. While the suspicions of the towns people grow darker. Ghouls and spirits begin to haunt the night. There are executions and the Demon turns out to be the one you least expect. The soul of a child is used to open up a gateway for an Outer God and shit goes down.

But wait there is even MORE!

Story of Prologue: You’ve hunted down and killed the demons. And now the world is back to normal. When a new force arrives to take over Chaldea in your stead. One of those new arrivals brings along an army to slaughter Chaldea and activates the end of the world by way of Alien Invasion. You get out of there in the nick of time via a magical meguffin mobile and now have to track down Lostbelts. Each one controlled by a King, a Master who was your former colleague who previously got blown up and now is now revived by the Aliens, and their servant as well. Good fucking luck chuck!

Story of Anatasia: Russia is fucked. Russia is SO FUCKED! That its been stuck in an Ice Age since the reign of Ivan the Terrible. The Russians are forced to use a magic to turn them into anthropamorphic beings and have been surviving barely due to the machanations of Saleri, Ivan the Terrible, Anastasia Romonov, the Master of this Lostbelt, and a particularly sadistic fox woman. With barely anything to go on and running out of fuel. You have to venture out into the eternal Russian Blizzard to get the aid of one of the locals, Avicebron and Darth Atlanta to defeat Anatasia, Ivan, and tear down their cosmic eldritch tree to restore humanity in that sector.

Story of Gotterdammerung: You made it out of Russia and into the Netherlands, where it seems on the cusp of Ragnarok. You are immediately facerolled by Sigurd being possessed by Sutr. Who is under the command of a master there. Enlisting the aid of Napoleon Bonaparte you fight back against Frost Giants, Valkyries, and Sigurd. Also enlisting the aid of Brynhildr to do so. You also have to contend with a girl made up of several goddesses and Scatach taking on the manter of Skadi.

Story of S I N: Out of the frying pan and into the China if it never left or evolved beyond the Qin Dynasty. Except for the Emperor who has become a giant space base, artifical intelligence reaching immortality. After having close calls with mecha centaur Xiang Yu, Qin Langyu, an older Li Shuwen, Lanling Wang. The Emperor sees you teaching peasants how to read and coloney drops a piece of himself on the village. You send Spartacus to punch to meteor...I shit you not. And with the aid of Mordred, Jing Ke, Red Hare, and Chen Gong. You impress Emperor Qin to come out of his shell and reveal his butterfly god form. Also the Master in this Lostbelt is actually a fucking vampire.

And that’s all I’ve gotten to so far.

#{ FGO is bizarre...really really REALLY fucking weird }#{ words from beyond }#{ i forced myself to play it so no one else has to }

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jeeperso · 3 years

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D&D Quotes Without context

Miscellaneous Edition, for those quotable lines from between sessions

"All I wanna do, is fork a giant woman! A giant woman!" "Jonni, I'm pretty sure she is some type of undead, probably a vampire. Are you sure that is a good idea?" "If I don’t get turned into a blueberry it won’t be my worst date." "Okay, but if you have to defend yourself just don't burn the place down for once." "Oh, Nyx. Sweet summer child. I never make promises we both know I won’t even try to keep." "Jonni, if I wake up to my bed surrounded in flames again I'm short-sheeting your next bed every night for at least a month." "I know you're trying to score here, but Lady Dimitrescu's daughters are literally vampires AND bugs. I can overlook one, but as a Paladin, it is my sacred duty to burn this place to the ground and stir the ashes."

"We don't let Marshall make breakfast anymore." "Those waffles are well-fortified." "I'm going to be charitable and call it hardtack." "We can use these waffles as melee weapons." "Well if we need to deflect siege engines they'll be good to have." "This is still carbon based and digestible by human systems without any poisons." "I can't serve this. It'll cause ... death." "Marshal we've been over this. This Pizza has 10% less of a lethal amount of grease." "Plus they signed the waivers when they bought a ticket. It's fine." "And don't forget to push the Cakeon." "Cakeon being slices of cake wrapped in bacon." "The special sauce is a mixture of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, ranch, horseradish, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and anything unfortunate enough to fall into the mixing vat."

"You do have a copy of the legal code I requested in my letter? As landed gentry you should actually have legal avenues to... I'm sorry did you say Burning child?"

"First I'm going to nail a crossbow bolt through your heart. Then I'm going to mount your balls to walls on opposite sides of this chamber." "I need Three Barrels of Butter" "Are you serious? Those Claws could crush an elephant in full plate!" "You're Right!" *Turns to first person* "We might need more than three barrels of butter."

"So Ioun is the patron of poor college kids. that scans "

"its hardtack or a mug of molten cheese-fried... something in a woven mug of bacon. your choice."

"Welp, all this coke ain't gonna snort itself..."

"Right hand me that dress and the bail money. I'll get Jonni." OOC: Well I mean they allow men in the city. Its just no men live in the city. "I stand by my statement. I'm allowed to look pretty every now and then." OOC: And dragons are the most unprejudiced lovers of anyone after bards.

OOC: Well I mean come on, its Ravenloft: saying a place is of death and madness is like making the observation the day ends in y. "Going out. Getting laid." "Jonni, she’s a werewolf." "Going out, forking a werewolf." OOC: Well Lycanthropy isn't usually sexually transmitted. Its just that Mercedes is a biter. OOC: ...I don't have an appropriate response to that.

"You seriously think I’d turn on my friends for a pile of gold?!?" "sigh I’ll show you my tits. "Hot damn, let’s get these murders done!" "No, Jonni, stay good. Besides, there are plenty of other girls who will do that without asking you to murder us." "Hmmmm… this is the moral quandary of my life…" "I’ll give you five bucks." "Scales tipped!" "Phew, I thought I was going to have to cover her next trip to the topless bar." "No, no, I have the bail money right here."

Nyx: So what’s the inside of Jonni’s head like? Edmund (with thousand yard stare): Imagine every ladies only smut magazine you’ve ever heard of going on forever into infinity while everything is on fire. Food was good though.

"It’s cool. They stole it." "And you know this how?" "Magic." “90% of Ravenloft deaths are mysterious vanishings.” "Why does everything come out covered in glitter and … is that …" "Lube. I’ve got a few theories." "Please don’t share them."

OOC: This is a plan that ends with Strahd having fewer brides, his castle is in flames, and he’s lost his cape.

OOC: Our team consists of a horny pyromancer, a gnome who can fillete you in five seconds, an HP lovecraft protagonist with actual magic backing them up, a literal slab of iron with a face, and a guy with a "I went to the eternal city of Ryleth and all I got was PTSD and this lousy T shirt". Gorbash smashing his shield into their face: "Have! You! Considered! Therapy!" OOC: Good news is you guys will no longer be the most conspicuous guys at the masquerade now. Jonni: Challenge accepted! "Nyx, the bounty on stealing his fake mustache is still on."

"Vanilla is the king of flavors. What does it say about society where vanilla is considered just 'regular'?" "That they have a lot of vanilla." Lash: "Don’t you want wishes?" Jonni: "Do I need wishes to get to see you naked?" Lash: "No?" Jonni: "Fuck ‘em." Vesh: "Oh dammit its my arranged fiance." Pit Fiend: "Milady." Vesh: "An extra wish to whoever punches this douchecanoe in the nards." Jonni: "I wish…for Bigby’s clenched fist of nard punching."

Soth: "Oh, gods, why am I on fire and why is Immigrant Song playing?" Jonni: "Take a guess." Hazlik: "Okay, so its a partridge, stuffed inside a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey, and the whole thing is fried on a stick. Congratulations, that's the most horrible thing I have ever seen, and I once crossbred an elephant and an owl." "I give him the 'itis, and we run like we stole something." OOC: ...weirdly Curse of Strahd has stats for Strahd zombies but not Strahd Skeletons. Or Strahd's skeletal Steed. Strahd once went to a branding seminar hosted by Bane and it changed his life.

"Are we on a high enough floor that if I throw him through the window he'll be killed by the fall?" "Oh, but when I say stuff like that it’s all 'Jonni, murder is wrong.'" "When they say pick your battles they don't mean to pick all of them. That's too many battles Jonni. Put some back." OOC: He's technically already got a symbiote. OOC: They can get married. Gorbash: "I'm increasing the rent." Venom: "Can I keep the pool table?" Gorbash: "I'm not a monster." Giant Brain: "Jonni… I have summoned you here for… WHY AM I ALREADY ON FIRE! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!"

"Hello We're the party-crashers. This is Jonni, she's here to steal your women and burn your shit down. That's Nyx, she's going to repatriate certain items from the premise. Marshal over there, is here to studiously ignore our shenanigans. This is the New Guy. He seems pretty chill. I'm Gorbash... and I have been distracting you."

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly. Jonni: "Hold up. Trying to sex a spider." Nyx: (throws her hands up) And then Jonni wakes up with a spider venom hangover webbed to a wall waiting to be eaten. Jonni: "Eh, I’ve had worse one night stands. I’m not a fucking blueberry." OOC 1: Hey, where does your weed elf grow [her] crops? OOC 2: She probably just grows them in the room she hasn’t paid rent on. OOC 3: Because I was also considering a circle of spores druid tortle. OOC 2: We could be partners! We could turn this into road to el dorado staring Cheech and Chong. OOC: Wait, I just realized five people are hanging out in a pirate bar, and none of us are rogues. We are gonna need someone to get thieves tools. OOC: We have a barbarian with a big stick.

"Are we Foxhound now? Blunderbuss Octopus." OOC1: You want to put the stoner in charge of food. OOC2: Eyup. OOC1: I see no way this can go wrong! OOC3: We need the four basic food groups. Beans, Bacon, Whisky, and Lard. “We pray to Almighty Darkseid! Give us a sign! Thumbs up, for the triumph of the human spirit! Thumbs down to begin the everlasting reign of darkness!” “Where did you find this guy?” “Me? I thought you hired him.” OOC: Yup, nature, arcana, history, investigation and religon at +6. MJ got baked and watched the Discovery Orb a lot. Tordek: "But we have a cleric, Jozan, over there." Strahd: *sigh* Snaps fingers, and suddenly one of Strahd's brides sucks Jozan out the window, cue screaming. "Oh look, you suddenly have an opening, how fortunate." Tordek: "We also have a druid...." Vadania: "SHUT UP, TORDEK!" Edmund: "I think the first order of business may be to discuss your Human Resources strategy..." Strahd: "I have a guy for that too."

youtube

"When someone as smart as him talks with himself, it's not crazy...They call it monologing." "I thought it was soliloquy?" "No, soliloquy is when you're talk at someone else when your talking to yourself." "Most people would run from a demon, you run towards it to study it." Professor: "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! A FROGHEMOTH, AND RIGHT UP CLOSE, IT WILL BE AMAZING TO SEE THIS PERFECT KILLING MACHINE IN ACTION." OOC: Also note the Professor is Lawful Good, Archie is Chaotic Good, so collectively they balance out to Neutral good. OOC: That's good. "The incinerations will continue until morale improves!" “You never incinerate the women!” “Because I’m fucking them!” “I… was not expecting you to be so honest about that…”

"You got what you wanted....but you lost what you had...." "Yes, I'm familiar with how capitalism works."

OOC: Dragons are like, “That’s Krandor the shiney. He only fucks other dragons. Weirdo.”

Gorbash: "D'awww, so tiny... perfect size... FOR PUNTING!" *boots tiny mind-flayer into the horizon*

"Dracula hasn't been spotted in almost recently. Whats he gonna do, destroy all we know and love like he definitely can?" "... my god you people are too stupid to live." "What are you doing in my house?" Gorbash: "...well Edmund has been reading your books, I've been sorting through your armory, Nyx and Irost has been going through your other shinies, Marshal has been cleaving anything monstrous that gets too close, and Jonni has been lighting things on fire to stave off boredom." Gorbash: "Okay Marshal, Jonni. Rock, paper, scissors over who gets [to kill] the bishop."

Jonni: "Did you really think this would make up for what you did?" Nima: "I… killed everyone you grew up with." Jonni: "Yeah, and I’m still not forgiving you for what you did to Eddie." Nima: "I am missing some key context here…" Nima: "Also I committed identity theft on you by having my new undead army tell everyone you are running the show." Jonni: "Oh, no. You’ve fooled the boar tribe. Who still haven’t figured out shitting in a hole." Nima: "Yeah I noticed that. I ruined two pairs of shoes attacking their camps."

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #ravenloft #castlevania #resident evil village #ooc

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purplehairedwonder · 3 years

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Hearts With(out) Chains Chapter 1

Fandom: One Piece Rating: PG-13 Pairings: Gen (eventual Lawlu) Words: 3062 Characters: Trafalgar Law, Donquixote Doflamingo, Penguin, Shachi, Bepo, Disco, Eustass Kid, Monkey D. Luffy, Nico Robin, Usopp, Silvers Rayleigh, Jean Bart Note: I’m taking my turn at the Corazon!Law AU because my brain won’t leave me alone until this is written down. Tags will be updated as the chapters come out.

The story title is based on the Ellie Goulding song “Hearts Without Chains.”

Summary: Law is reclaimed by the Family when he’s 17 and, with Doflamingo holding the lives of his crew as collateral for his good behavior, eventually becomes the third Corazon. Years later, trapped by his impossible situation, Law can’t help but resent Monkey D. Luffy for offering a glimpse of something he’s repeatedly had ripped away from him: hope.

Previous chapters: Prologue

Read also at AO3 / FF.N

Seven Years Later

Law grumbled to himself as he wound his way through Grove 1 toward Doffy’s auction house. He disliked being sent on errands like this, but he had little choice in the matter. His grip tightened on Kikoku as he glanced behind him to see Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo following a half step behind him. He nodded and kept moving. He was here to do a job, after all.

Sabaody was particularly lively today, with the presence of the so-called Supernovas, ten super rookies with bounties over 100,000,000 berries. Law had never had a bounty of his own, as he’d been the subordinate of a Warlord since he was 17, though he’d often wondered what it might have been had Doflamingo not found him that day in the North Blue.

Though, he supposed, it didn’t really matter. His position had earned him a certain amount of infamy, even without a bounty.

Shachi had the wanted poster for each Supernova, keeping an eye out for any information to be had. Law’s crew had proven itself adept at intel gathering over the years, so they were often sent on such missions. Though today’s job wasn’t reconnaissance, that didn’t mean there weren’t any rumors to dig up while in the lawless zones of Sabaody—especially with such interesting figures on hand. Getting a preview of the next generation of pirates to enter the New World could be valuable.

As they moved in the direction of the auction house, Shachi pointed out some of the Supernova, including X Drake from the North Blue and Mad Monk Urouge. Law took note of each one with passing interest; while they might seem impressive after making their way through Paradise, he doubted most of them would last in the New World. Over the years, many rookies had made their names before arriving at Sabaody only to fall quite spectacularly in the second half of the Grand Line. Law had learned to keep his expectations low and had thus stopped paying so much attention to the rookies until they did something to earn the attention.

Penguin threw Law a confused look as they headed for the front door of the auction house rather than the back entrance, but Law shook the other man off. Penguin shrugged and followed his lead; these three had been dealing with his moods since he was a teenager, so this was hardly anything new. The guards at the auction house gaped as they approached, scrambling to greet them.

“C-corazon!” one stammered as another grabbed the door. “We didn’t know to expect you today!”

“Please, come in! Should we get Disco for you?”

Law waved them off. “No need. And no need to tell Disco-ya I’m here either. I’ll find him after business is done for the day.” Law couldn’t stand the slaver and wanted to spend as little time in his presence as possible.

“Of course.”

The guards bowed Law, Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo into the auction house. Law took a seat toward the back, draping his arms over the back of the bench, the others filling in around him. He handed Kikoku to Bepo, who took the nodachi without a word, and casually surveyed the room. When the Celestial Dragons waltzed in, Law ground his teeth but said nothing. It wasn’t part of his mission today.

“Well, well, well,” a gravelly voice said from behind Law. “It looks like there are some big names here today. First Celestial Dragons and now the second-in-command of the Donquixote Pirates. I’ve heard some nasty rumors about you, Corazon.”

Law turned his head to see a ragtag group of pirates standing at the back of the auction house. The redhead in the garish pants was clearly the leader; he stood out front of the others and exuded arrogance.

“Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid,” Shachi murmured. “He has the highest bounty of all the Supernova. His first mate, Killer, is also on the list.”

Law considered this then proceeded to flip the rookie captain off, smirking, before looking away. He heard Eustass laugh.

“Shit manners though.”

“Politeness won’t get you far in the New World, Eustass-ya,” Law said without looking back. The New World tended to humble people like Eustass Kid, Law knew from experience.

“Yeah?” Eustass had stepped down to stand adjacent to Law’s row of seats. “I suppose you’d know all about the New World, working for a government dog.”

Law glanced his way but turned his attention back to the empty stage. Petty taunts rolled off him; he’d heard far worse over the years, often from his own Family.

“What, nothing to say?”

Law rolled his eyes. “I’m busy.”

Eustass snorted. “You look it.”

Law nodded toward the stage. “You see the Jolly Roger on the wall there? If you know who I am, then you know who owns this place.” He gave Eustass an unimpressed look. “I’m here on business.”

Whatever Eustass was going to say was drowned out as the emcee took to the stage to introduce Disco and begin the auction. Baring a few teeth, Law made a shooing motion at Eustass to dismiss him. The rookie captain growled lowly but headed back to his crew to observe.

“Was that a good idea?” Bepo asked, glancing at the rookie crew and back toward Law.

Law shrugged, unconcerned. “He’ll be missing a heart before he can try anything.” And maybe a few other limbs. Being around the slave trade put Law in a foul mood, and an outlet would be welcome. The sooner the auction ended, the sooner Law could find Disco and finish his job.

Law paid little attention to the auction until Disco brought out a pirate who bit off his own tongue, choosing death over slavery. The scene was bloody and the auction house descended into horror, but Law couldn’t blame the poor son of a bitch; he briefly considered the day Doffy had found him and his own terror at being reclaimed by the Family. What would have happened if he’d tried a stunt like that?

Doffy probably would have stitched his tongue back together with his Fruit and then taken out Law’s disobedience on Bepo, Shachi, or Penguin. He had made it clear over the last seven years that neither would Law be the architect of his own death nor would he get out of the Family again so easily.

The weak do not choose how they die, he thought with distaste before turning his thoughts back to the present.

The auction was briefly back on track when Disco brought out a mermaid, but the room fell into utter chaos once another Supernova (Monkey D. Luffy, Shachi noted amidst the confusion) came blasting through the wall… and then proceeded to punch one of the Celestial Dragons in the face.

Now that might be deserving of attention, Law thought with no little amusement before noticing Disco fleeing from the stage. As the Straw Hats jumped into action against the guards and the occupants of the auction house fled for the front door, Law knew he couldn’t put his task off any longer. He grabbed Kikoku from Bepo, the only warning to his crew that he was on the move.

He opened a Room and switched places with the podium on the stage, moving the moment his feet hit the wood in pursuit of the slaver and auctioneer. The chaos behind him barely registered as he followed the man backstage. He jogged past guards running toward the stage. He knew he got a few open stares, but he ignored them now that he was on the hunt for his prey. His status meant no one would dare stop him here anyway.

Law stopped at the door to what seemed to be Disco’s office. The man stood at his desk and was fumbling with a Den Den Mushi.

“No need to call Joker, Disco-ya,” Law said, leaning against the doorway.

Disco jerked badly, the snail slipping from his fingers and clattering to the desk. He whirled around. “Corazon?” he squeaked. “What are you doing here?” Then he seemed to collect himself. “Shouldn’t you be helping get the situation under control? This is Joker’s operation.”

Law shrugged, uninterested. “I’m here with a message from Doflamingo, not to clean up your messes.”

Disco paled. “W-what kind of message couldn’t he send over Den Den Mushi?”

Law lifted his free hand and opened a Room.

Disco gaped like a fish out of water at the small blue dome encompassing him. “P-please, no! Corazon! I’ve been loyal! I’ve done everything Joker asked of me.”

“And he’s grateful for your cooperation,” Law replied, straightening. He withdrew Kikoku from her sheath, the sword humming in anticipation. “But he’s decided it’s time to move on to newer ventures.”

“N-newer ventures?” The auctioneer couldn’t pull his eyes from the nodachi in Law’s hand.

“Nothing for you to worry about, Disco-ya. It’s just business.”

The man’s scream was drowned out by the rest of the chaos in the auction house.

-----

Returning from his completed errand at a more leisurely pace, Law paused as he felt a wave of Conqueror’s Haki rush through the auction house, causing his skin to prickle, followed a few moments later by an explosion. He frowned. Who was on hand that could use that? Could one of those Supernova…?

He hurried back to the stage to see the auction house guards unconscious. The only people standing were the Straw Hats—more of whom had appeared while Law was taking care of his task—the Kid Pirates, Law’s own crew, and…

“Dark King Rayleigh,” Law said, lips lifting in a smirk. The Family’s spies had put the man on the island, though he was running a ship coating business these days—when he wasn’t gambling. Law wasn’t expecting to run into the living legend, though.

The older man, mermaid on his back, turned back toward the stage. His eyes landed on Law, and he raised an eyebrow. With a quick Room and Shambles, Law switched places with the podium and was once more standing with his crew.

“Whoa!” Straw Hat Luffy gaped. “That was so cool! And what’s up with the bear?”

“What?” Bepo started.

Rayleigh simply turned his gaze to Law’s new position. “Now, now. Don’t use that name when so many Marines are around. Not all of us have immunity from the government.”

“Luffy,” a female voice said. Law glanced to see Nico Robin, the Demon Child, standing near the Straw Hat captain. She was eyeing him warily. “That’s Corazon. He’s the second-in-command of the Donquixote Family. Be careful.”

“Donquixote? The Warlord?” the one with the long-nose squawked.

“See the Jolly Roger on the wall?” Nico Robin said. “This auction house is owned by Donquixote Doflamingo.”

The gathered pirates looked between the symbol on the wall and the damage throughout the building before turning to Law, stances turning defensive.

Law raised his hands. “I’m not interested in a fight.” He’d done what he’d come here to do. He was ready to get off this shithole of an island, even if that meant returning to Dressrosa. “But you all might want to get moving. The whole place is surrounded by Marines.”

“Marines?”

“They surrounded the place not long after the auction started,” Law replied. “I don’t know who they were here to catch, but the attack on a family of Celestial Dragons only riled them up more.” He couldn’t help his lips turning upward at that. “I’d recommend leaving before an admiral arrives.”

“What about you?” Straw Hat asked.

Law shrugged and gestured to himself and his crew. “Government dogs, remember?”

Eustass snorted and turned toward the door. “Well, I have no interest in facing an admiral today. I did get to see Straw Hat Luffy pull some crazy shit, though, so I’m satisfied.” He threw a hand up in a wave. “We’ll even lend you guys a hand and clean up outside on our way out.”

Law snorted as it was clear Straw Hat Luffy took that as a personal affront, immediately following the other pirate, voice rising in indignation. He watched as the remaining members sighed long-sufferingly and trailed their captain. Law received a few more suspicious looks as the pirates and their friends passed him, but Law had no intention of getting involved—fighting against the Marines was against the rules for the Warlords and their subordinates, after all.

It wasn’t long before Law could hear gunfire and yelling coming from outside the auction house. He thought he could make out the sound of gleeful laughter as well.

Law’s lips curled upward in spite of himself. “Monkey D. Luffy, huh?”

Another D, Cora-san…

Law turned back to Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo. They were watching him curiously.

Law frowned at them. “What?”

“Nothing,” Penguin said immediately.

Law narrowed his eyes. “Out with it.”

The trio was saved from having to answer when Law’s Den Den Mushi started ringing. Law sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course he would be checking in for an update. Law pulled the snail from his pocket and answered, knowing how the man got when Law took too long to answer.

“Doffy.”

“Corazon. Is the job done?”

Law blinked at the immediate question. Doffy was usually chattier when he called; it was one of Law’s least favorite things about him—among many least favorite things. “Yes. Disco-ya’s no longer a concern.”

“Good. Don’t set sail yet, though. I need you to stay on Sabaody for now.”

Law grimaced. “For what?”

“You may be needed in Marineford soon.”

Law glanced at the other three, bemused. They shrugged in return. “Why?”

A snort. “Haven’t you seen the paper?”

“I’ve been a bit busy with the errand you sent me on,” Law replied irritably.

“The Marines have set Fire Fist’s execution. They’re summoning all the Warlords to be there.”

Law felt his stomach drop as the implications hit him. There were some hissed breaths to his side as the others came to the same conclusion Law had.

“Do they want a war?”

“Seems that way.” Unsurprisingly, Doffy sounded practically giddy at that. He was a warmonger and profiteer, after all. “Which is why I may need you.”

“Right,” he said blandly. A war between the Marines and the Whitebeard Pirates was exactly the last thing he wanted to get pulled into.

“Corazon.” Doflamingo’s voice had a warning edge to it.

Law pursed his lips but knew better than to argue. “We’ll stay on Sabaody and be ready to sail.”

“Better.”

Once the call ended, Law sighed and dropped the snail back into his pocket. “Guess we’re not leaving after all.”

“This is going to be ugly, isn’t it?” Penguin asked.

“No doubt.” Law rubbed a hand over his face before looking toward the auction house entrance. “Sounds like things have quieted down. Let’s head out.”

When the four reached the entrance, Law let out a surprised huff as he surveyed the scene. There was mass chaos, as Marines were littered across the ground as well as rushing around the help the wounded. The Straw Hat and Kid Pirates seemed to have already fled, though.

“Looks like the rookies did some damage,” Law chuckled. “Not bad.”

A few Marines looked up to see them and yelled, scrabbling for their weapons. “More pirates coming from the auction house!”

“Stand down, idiots!” one of the commanders called back. “They’re with Donquixote. Leave them alone.”

Law’s eye twitched at that, but he didn’t argue as he led Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo down the steps. He paused at the sight of a large slave left abandoned outside the house. After a moment, Law blinked; he knew this man.

“Pirate captain Jean Bart,” he greeted.

The large man looked down at him, startled. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”

“It would be a shame to leave a man like you in shackles,” Law said, forming a Room and using Kikoku to slice through the collar around Jean Bart’s neck. It fell to the ground with a harmless clank.

Jean Bart put a hand to his neck, eyes wide in disbelief. “How?”

“Devil Fruit,” Law replied simply, making a small Room in his palm before letting it go.

“Why? They,” Jean Bart said, nodding back toward the Marines, “said you work for Donquixote Doflamingo.” Or, Law translated, they said you work for one of the biggest names in the slave trade.

“It’s complicated,” Penguin said.

“That, and I’m happy to fuck over the Celestial Dragons in any way I can,” Law replied with a shrug. He glanced around, noting the Marines gaping at him for daring to free a Celestial Dragon’s slave. He saluted them with a smirk before turning back to Jean Bart. “If I were you, I’d get out of here quickly; shit’s about to get ugly.”

“You don’t want me to serve under you in return for my freedom?” After all, why free him if not to get something in return?

“You wouldn’t be much freer under me than here.”

The former captain frowned at him. “You don’t serve Doflamingo willingly?”

“Like we said, it’s complicated,” Shachi added.

Jean Bart looked between them. “I see no collars on your necks, no man riding on your back. Nothing could be worse than that.” He shook his head. “I have nothing but the rags on my back. My crew is either dead or enslaved. My family is long dead. Where would I go?” He swallowed. “If you’d have me, I’d serve under a man who would free a slave that others ignored and gladly taunt the Celestial Dragons to do it.”

Law glanced back at Shachi, Bepo, and Penguin. They looked back at him steadily, as if to say, Your choice, Captain.

Law’s crew—though they were part of the Donquixote Pirates, their original name of Heart Pirates had stuck as a nickname among the Family considering Law held the Heart seat—had grown from the original four Doflamingo had taken from the North Blue, but Law was always hesitant to bring on anyone new considering Doflamingo’s use of his crew to assure Law’s good behavior. Somehow, he’d still found a loyal group who willingly followed him despite his warnings to the contrary; he had no idea what he’d done to deserve them.

“All right,” Law said finally. “Let’s get back to the ship.”

Next Chapter

#Caitlin's fic #Okay I wrote this right after the prologue #so have an update #Trafalgar Law #Donquixote Doflamingo #Heart Pirates #One Piece #One Piece fanfic

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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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CONTINUATION OF HARRY POTTER IF LILY AND JAMES DIDNT DIE

Pt 2

This is my favourite movie in the franchise so buckle up, this has more words than some of my uni essays

Goblet of fire! Harry is having repeated nightmares About Voldemort and Lily and James don't know what to do so to try and cheer him up they agree to go to the world cup quidditch match after Ron sends Harry an excited letter about it.

(TW implied ab*se)

When they get there Harry and Draco spot each other and share a look. they both manage to sneak off for a quick hug and a talk and Harry is incredibly worried when he sees a bruise on Draco’s forehead. Draco doesn't want to talk about it but Harry is worried af so Draco agrees to try and sneak off again after the match so Harry can introduce him to his parents and they can talk about it. Draco reluctantly agrees.

(TW over)

The match goes great, Ron is swooning over Krum and being a closeted bi disaster.

after the match, Draco shows up as agreed and Harry takes him to meet his parents. James is a lil sus of him because “that's Lucius Malfoy's spawn” but once he talks and sees the nervous stuttering disaster who looks like he's ready to up and run off like a scared animal any moment he concludes that he would kill for him.

Draco admits he feels unsafe at home and his parents are trying to talk him into doing stuff he doesn't want to do. James straight-up asks if it's relating to the dark lord and Draco looks surprised but admits that “some of it” is.

kinda unrelated but James and Lily later agree that from the way their son was looking at him and all the things he's doing for him Harry probably has a crush on Draco.

Cue death eater attack.

Panic, James and Lily are in protective parent mode, they group up with the Weasleys who are too busy to be confused at Draco’s presence. they all go off running.

Harry and Draco get split from the others because they were clinging to each other's hands and in the panic, most of the others don't notice until it’s too late. They are both basically as scared as each other at the attack but for different reasons. Harry falls and gets kick knocked out and Draco has to drag him to a hidden area to hide until he comes to.

they manage to evade detection until Harry comes to just in time to see the Dark mark go into the sky. Draco holds him tighter as he sees it not realising he's awake until moments later. when the figure comes closer they both scramble up to run but the figure leaves and Hermione and Ron find them before the ministry attempts to stupify them and Ron and Harry’s parents yell at them furiously to not hurt their kids.

Crouch tries to accuse them of setting off the dark mark but that just makes Lily more furious, yelling at him that they're kids and “do you really think my son, the one who was almost killed by Voldemort as a child, would call the dark lord?!” Draco plucks up enough courage to tell them harry was out for most of it and They both saw a man shoot the mark into the sky. They aren't fully believed of course.

Then Lucius shows up in a flurry and grabs Draco, Chastising him for running off and “where was he?! there was an attack and he was in the middle of it?!” James steps up and informs Lucius that his son had saved his and he was very grateful and Lucius looks at all the eyes on him and claims he raised him well before muttering “not well enough” as he drags Draco off.

Draco and Harry share one more look before Draco is forced away.

At school, Mad eye Moody is introduced. Harry has heard of Moody before from his dad and something is very right AND wrong about him. Goblet of fire tournament introduced, other schools introduced, bla bla bla, Ron bi panic.

When Draco tries to talk to Harry Draco avoids him and Harry knows somethings wrong but since Draco is avoiding everyone but a few other Slytherins he struggles with what to do about it and his persistence to talk just causes a few arguments.

They watch Fred and George make arses of themselves and Harry gives an up and down of Cedric when he puts his name in cus that's one tall glass of water.

Champions get picked and Cedric being picked gives harry kinda crush feels but then Harry’s name comes out and confusion ensues. they accuse harry of putting his name in but are unable to pull harry out for some stupid reason.

When Draco sees Harry after that there's a sort of guilty look in his eyes but he still avoids him so harry cant ask

Harry gets more of a crush on Cedric every time they talk but knows that probably won't fly especially with the whole “sneaky Slytherin potter got his mane in the goblet of fire he's an asshole” shit going around school.

When he writes to his parents about it Lily sends letters to Dumbledore trying all she can to get Harry pulled out “he's a kid he may die!” but the headmaster replies with “there's nothing I can do” every time.In comparison James’ letter to harry basically is “knock em dead slugger :D”

Draco has picked Bullying back up to vent his obvious internal struggle which gets him turned into a ferret by Moody. Even though they’re in some kind of argument Harry jumps in to grab him and keep him from harm while Mcgonagal yells at Moody. Harry thinks to himself that Draco makes a very cute ferret.

when Draco is turned back harry is still holding him (bridal style of course) and Draco shoves him off which gets him dropped and they have an argument. Draco claims that he “doesn't need his help and he and his father don't think he’d last in this tournament” which makes Harry think Draco may have been lying to him since he’s siding with his father prompting an “I don't care what your father thinks and much less you!” and storm off

Ron is also mad because he belives Ron went behind his back to put his name in the goblet of fire (and that he now gets to compete with Krum) and calls him a Slytherin (derogatory) and that he should never have trusted him and known that Harry was a sneak from the moment he was put in his house

Harry really feels like everyone is against him but that just makes him want to prove everyone wrong.

Harry and Ron have their little back and forth with Hermione but actually ends up yelling at Ron that he was being stupid refusing to talk to him and even though he did well he never wanted this. He doesn't think he's special and Ron was supposed to be his best friend and understand when he's telling the truth.

Ron can't come up with a good comeback and stutters before he storms off.

With some advice from Moody and a heads up from Hagrid, Harry summons the firebolt his Dad bought him for Christmas that year and has a fly off against the dragon.

He wins and the crowd goes wild, even Draco runs up with the Crowd with so much relief on his face and looks like he wants to hug him yet remembers himself and slips away.

Harry will remember that.

Hermione is Happy and even Ron looks more upbeat and proud of his friend.

Celebration at Slytherin Common room, many Slytherins are happy at winning something, some are excited at the idea harry may prove they’re not all bad, Despite Rita Skeeta’s reporting.

Ron and Harry end meeting up outside of the dorm rooms and apologising and making up. They try to open the egg together which goes badly and they get caught sneaking about at night. Harry is happy they're mostly all friends again especially since he'd been talking Nevil’s ears off about all his problems since he was the only one who would hang out with him.

Ron and Hermione tell Harry how Krum seemed to be running into Hermione and Ron allot and kinda showing off, Ron has been hanging around with her allot more (which is unconfirmed whether it is a Coincidence or whether Ron started to hang out with Hermione more because Krum was “bumping into” them allot.) and Hermione ended up inviting Krum to hang out with them a bit. This was mainly to send Ron into bi panics more, deffinately not because she also may kinda like him, and Ron eventually admits to Harry and Hermione that he “may possibly” be a little bit Bi. Harry pats him on the back and tells him “at least you're not in the tournament and have a crush on one of your competitors.” “you have a crush on Krum too?!” “No! But I, y’know, kinda like Cedric. He’s nice!” cue teasing.

Harry gets letters from his parents congratulating him but warning him to be careful. James is more pumped at his victory than Lily and wishes he could be there to see it but He had apparently been “threatened with being turned into a spoon.“ if he tried to sneak in to watch.

Cedric later gives Harry some advice on the egg and Harry is so swept up in cute boy that he almost forgets the advice but he does find out what the next quest is.

Nevil gives Harry the Gillyweed for the test after being given the book as a very apt apology for a hufflepuff for scaring him.

Harry is pushed in and swims down and finds that the ones under the water are Fleur’s little sister, Cho Chang, Ron and Draco?

Harry is confused and tries to get both Ron and Draco but the Mermaids threaten him. Krum shows up and signals he's There for Ron. And Cedric goes for Cho but Harry knows Fleur went down and they're running out of time so he gets Draco free and does the good thing to free Fleur’s sister. he carry-swims them up while fighting off mermaids just in time.

Draco clings to him in a panic when he comes to when they surface and Harry doesn't let him push him away this time.

Hoorah Harry gets extra points for saving two people.

Ron is surprised Krum rescued him and ask and Krum be like "I actually like both of you and I was freaking out because I didn't know which of you would be under the water".

Ron bi panic stutters because his Boy Crush likes him and his cute best friend.

While they're all drying off Draco tells Harry that he knows harry still cares for him because of that and tells him he shouldn't and it clicks for Harry Draco may just be trying to push him away. He tells him even if Draco punched him in the face Harry would stop caring about him. Draco is frustrated by this and points his wand at him but ends up storming off, clearly conflicted.

Stuff in dumbledors office happens yada yada, Harry saw his parents at the trial he sees Barty Crouch at. already knew snape was a death eater turned spy.

I’ve decided the dance is here as a “last hurrah before the final task” because it makes sense.

Krum approaches Ron and Hermione and is like “I wanna ask both of you to the ball but I am apparently only allowed one date cus I have to do the Ceremonial dance with a partner” and they're both flattered and have like a little “you do it” “no you do it” but eventually conclude Hermione can do the dance with Krum (she is the prettier one) and then the three of them can hang out as secret dates later because Ron is publicly in the closet.

However, the secret bit is hard to keep because when people tease Ron for “not having a date” Krum keeps putting his arm around him and glaring at people to scare them off.

Harry isn't as interested in not having a date as he is about Draco not having one. Draco is annoyed Harry won't leave him alone and keeps worrying about him and they're having a little “argument” in the common room about it when Snape comes up all “Potter. you and Malfoy are making a disturbance. If you cannot solve your...relationship issues I will make him your date to the ball since you do not have one yet.” “Wh-but sir! Draco does not have one either!” “Making him the perfect candidate. You have until the end of the day to prevent this.”

Neither of them finds anyone who wants to go or is free in time.

Harry does ask the twins but they say to his face “why would you ask us? you’re gay” which is how Harry finds out there's a rumour that he's gay because he's obviously got some kind of crush on Cedric

Harry has no idea what sexuality is but he at least knows he's not straight.

This does not change their minds and when he sees Draco he can tell by the looks of him he's failed too. Harry decides to just bite the bullet and sits next to Draco. “look...I know you’re trying to push me away. I don't know why I don't know if you hate me or what but...I don’t hate you. I care about you. And I don’t mind going to the dance with you and we’re probably going to have to so I might as well ask. Would you go to the Dance with me?” “...my father better not hear about this.”

Draco and Harry end up going together.

Draco insists he's not going to get his feet stepped on so teaches Harry how to dance in their dorm room which serves for good bonding. they don't talk about why Draco has been avoiding him but when Harry messes up Draco’s chastising is fond and when Harry falls and knocks books on his head they laugh. they're finally back to teasing each other like friends and Harry can dance just well enough Draco is fine to dance with him.

Ron is dejected by what he's been sent to wear and Hermione doesn't want him to die from embarrassment or bail on their date so she helps him transfigure his clothes into something better looking and smelling.

Hermione is already radiant and Ron has a little heart attack because his best friend is cute?? and he and his best friend are both dates to the cute boy at the dance?? why are both of them so attractive?? panic??

The main dance goes pretty well. Harry only stands on Draco’s foot once.

At the main party bit they all dance and have fun mostly. Krum sneaks off with Hermione for a bit and she returns a little flustered and daze, tags Ron in and he sneaks off.

He and Krum are caught making out behind a curtain by Semus and Dean later.

Harry and Draco get teases because Hogwarts is basically a British Private school and “eww gaaay” but anyone who is outright prejudiced is grabbed by McGonalal and forced to leave so people catch on real quick that it's not something to make fun of.

Draco and Harry are having fun but after Harry leaves him at a table for a minute to go get some drinks he returns to see Draco looking spaced out. He asks what's wrong and Draco tries to deflect but eventually admits he missed having fun with him and he missed him in general. Harry asks why he was avoiding him in the first place and Draco shakes his head and gets up to leave but Harry grabs his hand and begs him to talk to him. Draco looks at him with the same look that he'd given him at the quidditch games and Harry knows immediately. They leave the party to talk.

(TW MORE TALK ABOUT AB*SE)

Draco admits that his father has been awful to him and has threatened him to stay away from him. he tells Harry that he was being groomed into becoming a death eater because they believed the dark lord was returning. Harry is horrified that the man to kill his family may be returning and Draco was being hurt and forced into things because of it. Draco is a mess because part of him still loves his family but he doesn't wanna stay there. Harry isn't sure what to do. He hugs Draco as he cries and tells him if he needs out Lily, James and he would tear down Malfoy manor to get him to a safe place. Draco is thankful but doesn't know if that would work. Harry says they could also go to Dumbledoor with this information but Draco is terrified that nothing would be done and they’d tell his Father. Harry agrees to be quiet for now but tells him he’d come to help him alone if he needed someone. Draco agrees to not push him away anymore and let Harry send a letter to his parents telling them about it.

(TW over)

A few days later, just before the maze trial, Draco pulls Harry aside at Breakfast with a letter in hand from his Father. The letter alludes that he won't be attending the Final trial as invited to because something is going down with the death eaters connected to the trial. Draco still doesn't want to go to Dumbledore or anyone so Harry just agrees to be careful and then gets to show Draco the letters he received from his parents saying they would literally do anything to keep Draco safe and would happily hide him even at the risk of imprisonment in Azkaban.

Draco is brought strange comfort at that.

Lily and James attend the final trial as do the rest of the champion parents. James is so stoked at how well his son had been doing in all these trials and bigs him up and gets him excited for the final one.

More responsibly Lily warns him to be careful and that she thinks something is off about Krum. Harry brushes it off because he knows and trusts Krum but when he sees him he realises he does look a little off and from the looks of Ron and Hermione they see it too.

When Harry sees Cedric with his excited dad he realises he has hardy thought about his crush on him since the Whole thing with Draco and the dance.

James sees Harry off with Moody and when James tries to talk to Moody as a friend Moody gives him a weird look and short responses. James goes back to Lily as soon as the maze closes the contestants are in, telling her somethings wrong with Moody. They discuss it as the trial goes on.

In the maze Harry concludes there's something definitely wrong with Krum after he sees him, immediately noticing he is Bewitched when he sees his eyes and what he did to Fleur.

So yeah maze happens, grab cup, portkeyed away, dark lord resurrection ceremony, Cedric fuckin murdered. Harry finds out he has some deeper connection with the dark lord after his blood is used in the ceremony. He also is vindicated, despite his fear, that he sees Draco was right when he sees Lucious as a death eater.

Voldemort messes with him by telling him about how he had almost killed his parents, that their and Sirius’s attacks drove him to try and escape upstairs, leading to his room. He tried killing him to emotionally cripple them but only got a finger on his head when Lily rushed in and with some unknown strong power nearly destroyed him. The Death eaters called Harry the boy who lived because of it. But now he was back and could kill harry however he pleased.

He releases Harry for their Duel, Cedric’s spirit emerges to aid him and with some unknown power and the help Harry fight him off and port keys his and Cedric’s body back.

do, dododo do do, dododo do do, do do do do do do- holy fuck is that kid dead?!

Harry bursts into tears and wails when he gets back to the entrance, crying about the dark lord.

Cedric’s dad manages to rush up and more crying ensues but when Lily and James try to get to Harry they re held back and only don't keep pushing because Moody pulls Harry away. They frantically try to follow, stopped by Dumbledoor and are delayed while they swap notes. Draco manages to slip out of the crowd and to them too, worried for Harry.

Moody reveals himself to be evil not moody and goes to kill Harry when Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Lily and James bust him and push him back, followed closely by Draco who rushes towards Harry.

Snape forces Not Moody to drink the truth Serum and make him tell them where real Moody is. James is incredibly relieved to see him.

They see not moody change into Barty crouch jr and try to attack the boys when they lean down to look. Lily makes them stand behind her and basically smacks Dumbledor away when he tries to grab Harry for his arm, gently taking it herself to show. Draco is terrified at the dark mark and audibly gasps, whispering “that's the same as...” cutting himself off when Jr looks and smirks at him. Croutch Jr tells them the dark lord has returned. Harry apologises but Lily hugs him with one hand and tells him it's okay and not his fault.

Draco, instead of being scared, looks defiant and to Harry. He asks “was he there?” and when he gets a nod tells them that his father has that mark and is a death eater and he has letters proving it. Jr’s face twists and he snaps at Draco “YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR INSOLENCE BOY!!” but is held back by Snape and Dumbledore ushers Lily and the boys out, telling McGonagal to contact Azkaban while Snape and James stay behind to guard Jr and get real moody free.

Draco hands over all the evidence that his father is a death eater to Dumbledore and Harry gives a testimony of all he saw and all this is later taken to court. We will touch back on this in a minute.

Krum is freed from Barty crouch Jr’s Bewitchment and wakes up to a worried Hermione and Ron over him. he makes a stupid joke about dying going to heaven “because he’s Surrounded by angels” which gets him a slap from Hermione, Ron exclaiming “Mione!” a second before she kisses him. Krum has a stupid smile on when she moves away. “that was the best slap I ever got. do I get another?” he looks to Ron who mumbles “I’ll skip the slap” before he kisses him too.

You may have noticed but I stan poly ships arite? I couldn't miss this opportunity especially since I think Hermione could have had a pretty good relationship with big beefy bear Krum and when Ron’s Bi panic came in I couldn’t resist.

So Ron and Hermione both agree to write to Krum when he asks on the day he departs and he pulls Ron aside to tell him that If Ron knows Krum can like two people at once he should know he and others can too, looking to Hermione. Ron is a flustered mess but happily accepts a parting kiss.

They do write to him and get pretty good at long distance.

Lucius is tried and held under heavy suspicion of being a death eater as the courts refuse to acknowledge the Dark Lord’s return. the court battle takes a good majority of the Summer that Draco spends in Malfoy Manor with just his mother until it is ruled that Lucius is a death eater however since they cannot confirm that the dark lord HAS returned or which death eater acts he committed they would put him on house arrest. they do this even with Draco’s accusations of what he's done to him.

However, almost to try and make up for that somehow, they do allow Draco to decide if he wants to stay at home or go somewhere else. He soon decides that he’d feel much safer elsewhere so asks to be looked after by the Potter’s. the courts just about agree.

Woo! Draco saved! They stay at the Potter household for a bit until they conclude it’s not safe and moved to Sirius and Remus’s house which is well hidden.

Due to concerns about the dark lord, the rest of the Order of the Pheonix slowly do too including Ron, his family, and Hermione.

Cue Order of the Pheonix in another post because WOW this one was long!

#harry potter #harry potter rambles #fuck jk rowling #yes ron and hermione got a boyfriend before Drarry happened just wait #i'll get to it #harry potter au #harry potter re-write #james potter #lily potter #draco malfoy #harry potter and the goblet of fire #abuse tw #tw abuse

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thisizaraisu · 4 years

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So I Just Watched "Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day"

I hit the halfway point of Stardust Crusaders and decided I wanted a quick change of pace before I got around to Battle for Egypt. I was just scrolling around on Netflix for another series when I stumbled upon this one, and decided the premise was interesting so I gave it a shot.

All I can say is holy fucking shit, thank you Netflix.

I've been watching anime consistently for about half a year now, and while I've found a lot of series that I've enjoyed, I've been wondering if I would find a show that I could consider life-changing. Anohana is absolutely a life-changing show. The way it examines the ways that grief and guilt can manifest in a person, be it emotionally, physically or mentally, is unflinchingly painful. For a show that starts out with a ghost suddenly reappearing before the protagonist and playing a Pokemon bootleg with them, it's definitively the realest anime I've had the pleasure of viewing so far.

Jintan's development is interesting enough as-is, but there's so many diverse characters that go through heart-wrenching transformations in the span of just 11 episodes. This series knows how to get a reaction out of you because no matter where you come from and what you've experienced, there's going to be at least one aspect that you can relate to. It's almost too human, and I mean that as a compliment.

SPOILERS BELOW

My eyes were already watering by the end of the seventh episode but Anohana continues to go one step further until you hit one of the most soul-crushing climaxes I've seen since Assassination Classroom. The scene where the Super Peace Busters are describing how selfish they've been and the regret that's been instilled in them because of it is just so goddamn powerful, especially when Poppo admits he was a witness to Menma's death despite giving no indication that he's feeling anything similar to the others throughout the series. In fact, I think that was the point where the tears didn't stop flowing for a while.

What's really interesting about Poppo is that he's a comedic relief who's actually essential to the plot of the show. Novel concept, I know. But he's technically the driving force behind the Super Peace Busters coming back together. There's such a long period of distrust between the group, and it's Poppo's belief and exuberance that brings them together for the first time in years.

So finding out why he wanted to believe that Jintan could see Menma, and having those emotions manifest within him so suddenly, it's that diversity in perspective that really makes this moment hit close to home. Poppo is the only optimist in the entire show, and his breakdown is exactly what this show needed to be perfect.

Everything from this scene onward turned me into an ugly-crying mess, ESPECIALLY the ending. The moment that everyone in the group was able to see Menma again, I just lost it. I've never felt this kind of power and raw emotion from any form of media before. I've become far more emotional towards movies and anime recently, but not even Assassination Classroom or A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood made me tear up as much as Anohana did.

While I'm talking about characters, I gotta mention Yukiatsu. I stopped watching yesterday after the cross-dressing scene, and I had no idea what to make of it at first. But again, this show pulls no punches in showing just how heavily grief can manifest within someone, making them do things that are highly questionable to say the least. This is a show that feels like it should be tackled in one sitting, because every episode ends in a way that leaves you judging at least one of the main cast and it isn't until the next episode that you find out why they're acting the way they are.

SPOILERS END HERE

I'm gonna touch on some of the other characters without diving into spoiler territory. I think the big one I want to draw my attention towards is Menma, obviously. I hate to admit it, but when I first started watching the show I saw her as the Sagiri type. Hell, they even look similar. But Menma's bratty tendencies are a lot more justified, given that she died at a childhood age and she hadn't seen anyone in years up to that point.

Finally, Naruko is just... where do I even begin? Her development is an unmatched work of genius. She starts out like a pure tsundere but her actions go far, FAR beyond "It's not like I like you or anything." Her confession (you'll know what I mean when you get to this scene, it's one of the best in the show) is almost painful to sit through, it's the epitome of selfishness and yet as Menma has become the central focus for the Super Peace Busters, you know deep down that she's somewhat justified in her thinking.

I could continue rambling on about this series for hours, it's just so emotional and real that I couldn't help but get choked up. Hell, I'm still choked up while writing this, just thinking about that ending is going to get me for months to come. This is a show that has the power to change your life. It makes you think just how much grief can change someone, and it shows just how important it is to hang on to the things you love and leave nothing unsaid. Hands down, a 10/10.

--------------------------------------------------

S-Tier:

1. Kaguya-sama: Love is War

2. Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

3. Anohana

4. The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

5. Assassination Classroom

6. YuruYuri

A-Tier:

7. Lucky Star

8. Gabriel Dropout

9. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency

10. Blend-S

11. The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan

12. In/spectre

B-Tier:

13. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo

14. The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

15. The Master of Killing Time

16. How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift?

17. Interspecies Reviewers

C-Tier:

18. Nichijou

19. Aggretsuko

20. Miyakawa-ke No Kuufuku

D-Tier:

21. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood

22. Eromanga-sensei

23. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

F-Tier:

24. Hetalia: Axis Powers

Dropped:

Tamayomi

The Helpful Fox Senko-San

There are a few changes to my tier list. Obviously the "dropped" category is new, but I've also added movies and spin-offs. I really thought back to just how great The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya was and decided that I wasn't doing it justice if it wasn't on the list somewhere.

Stardust Crusaders review coming some time in the near future.

#anohana #anime #anime review #the flower we saw that day

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vohalika · 5 years

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hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey.

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

#critical role #cr #cr1 #vex'ahlia #lady vex'ahlia de rolo #is better than you #deserved better from the narrative #will forever be my favorite character probably #will forever be part of my ultimate OTP #we do not deserve her #we are unworthy #long post #long post for ts

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kitten1618x · 5 years

Text

GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x01 ‘Winterfell’(Part 3)

Annnnd I’m back again! So where were we? Oh yes, back in Cersei’s boudoir...

The first thing I noticed is Cersei is drinking wine again. I’m still not 100% sure she was pregnant to begin with, guys. They were very secretive and ambiguous about the whole thing if you think back on it — and those leaks about her miscarrying turned out to be a wash.

Cersei is still salty about those damn elephants.

Same girl, saaaaame.

Euron wants to know how he compares to her past lovers. She strokes his massive ego a bit until he brings up Jaime—still a tender wound, she warns him to tread lightly, then simultaneously insults and compliments him as he lays a possessive hand on her stomach and declares he’s going to put a prince in her belly. She promptly dismisses him.

What’s striking here is that Cersei appears to be fighting off tears. Clearly, she didn’t want to sleep with Euron, but did so to keep him loyal to her. Love her or hate her, it’s sad to see her at such a desperate and low point where she’s basically whoring herself to keep an ally. Especially when Euron is such a wildcard, and now that he basically got exactly what he wanted—who’s to say he’ll stick around?

But, if you believe in political!jon, this is quite the parallel to Jon essentially doing the same to hold onto a wildcard ally in Dany.

I’m still not sold on a Cersei pregnancy/miscarriage guys...

While Euron is distracted, Theon and what remains of the Iron Born loyal to them, free Yara. She promptly headbutts him for leaving her ass, then helps him up. Now they’re even. 10/10 realistic sibling behavior. lol

Yara wants to head back to the Iron Islands, but senses Theon’s need to make amends to the Starks. She sends him to Winterfell with her blessing. I truly love these two as a strong family unit!! Gahhhhhh

We drop back into Winterfell where Lord Royce greets Alys Karstark and her people. And why this is necessary got me like 👀. Almost as much as why Alys was cast as a tall, red-headed girl... perhaps to fake a death scene of another important tall red-headed girl with the battle of Winterfell right around the corner?

Davos schools Tyrion and Varys on Northern stubbornness and loyalty. Then he proposes a marriage alliance between Jon and Dany if the world should survive. And fucken gag me, Dadvos... I expected better of you! lol I believe the words he uses are “a just woman and an honorable man.” And I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to reconcile this statement with the same Davos who was extremely skeptical of the things Missandei was saying about Dany last season. Or the same Davos who looked extremely uncomfortable with Dany’s tantrum on the beach when she accused her hand Tyrion, of not wanting to murder his family... but, I digress.

We end this scene on Varys’ ominous words, sure to leave a bitter taste in your mouth: NOTHING LASTS. Drop those truth bombs, Varys.

A marriage alliance between a truly just woman and an honorable man is probably still in the cards... just sayin’.

We drop down from the battlements where Dany and Jon are strolling amongst the battle preparations. Of all the things they could be talking about: the wall falling, the issue of food shortages, etc. Dany brings up Sansa, of course. (no love triangle brewing here folks, none at all).

Dany licks her lips and looks around coyly, as if annoyed. “Your sister doesn’t like me.” — well neither did Bran really, or any of the northern lords, but it’s only Sansa’s name on Dany’s tongue—how curious. (Not really).

Jon’s eyes shift nervously before he turns to face her and sighs (because I’m telling you, he knew this was coming and it’s no coincidence that he’s kept his mouth shut and stayed out of the conflict). “She doesn’t know you.” Truth. He attempts a joke at how Sansa didn’t like him much either when they were growing up, but Dany isn’t amused.

“She doesn’t have to be my friend, but I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…” Dany leaves the threat and it’s implications hang in the air between them, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Dark!dany is here, y’all.

I’m sure Dany stans and the jonerii are twisting themselves into pretzels to explain this away.

I mean, it’s not like Emilia herself didn’t warn us all that her character would be doing some ‘weird shit’ and we’d know when we saw it...

But Jon’s face here is strikingly similar to these various scenes...

And...

Same. Ass. Energy. You do the math friends, but he’s certainly not looking upon her lovingly.

Luckily for Sansa and Jon, the Dothraki steal Dany’s attention to inform her of the livestock count of the dragons’ current dinner menu: 18 goats and 11 sheep. Dany looks alarmed—the dragons are barely eating. Barely. Do you have any idea how many people that amount of livestock could feed?

That’s why it’s really hard for me to not be critical of Dany’s character here. I realize she loves her dragons and they are her ‘children’, but in this moment she shows more empathy for the dragons lack of food (who truly can fly off and hunt) than that of the actual people who quite possibly could starve—and was irritated with Sansa for bringing it up.

And I will show this fucken gif as many times as I want because it’s so important!!

Food is so important. Don’t let the antis try and tell you otherwise.

Jon and Dany go to check on the dragons, and we have the scene we were treated to from the early released stills.

Jon asks what’s wrong with the dragons and Dany replies “they don’t like the North.” — and there is definitely a double meaning behind her words, as I don’t think Dany much likes the North, either. She climbs atop Drogon while Rhaegal expresses a curious interest in Jon.

“Go on.” Dany encourages Jon. Not the brightest move to give your bf of 10 minutes the keys to one of your WMD’s, and especially since there are surely much more important things to be done since being made aware that the wall is down and your other child is now a flying ice demon, but hey, joy ride time you crazy Targ kids!

So this must be the comedic scene the D’s talked about. I know everyone had mixed feelings about Jon riding a dragon, but I must say, I rather enjoyed this scene—except for the music, which for awhile seemed like a very jarring variation of the Truth theme. The music is very important in this show, so I’ll be curious to know when this pops up again, and where. Perhaps a dragon face off in another dance of dragons? Hmmm?

Drogon takes the lead, and Dany seems rather amused at scaring the pants off of Jon when she nose dives Drogon into a ravine and Rhaegal follows. Oh, but what’s this? Jon has realized he can control Rhaegal on his own, and brings the dragon in for a landing. Dany—a bit surprised at this—follows suit. Girl, you should be worried.

But she’s not, of course—at least not for long, because she’s busy being ‘twitterpated’ a’la a typical Disney flick, at the impressive place Jon chose to land—right beside an amazing waterfall. Props to loverboy, this is 10/10 primo scenery on the romance scale.

I would like to take a moment here to be petty af and point out that it is Daenerys that says the “we could stay here a thousand years” line—not Jon. And who could forget his super-romantic and witty come-back; complete in his Northern drawl: “we’d be pretty old.”

and Dany’s expression says everything! lol This from Mr. ‘I’d like to see you in a silk dress so I can tear it off you’. Pretty weak, Jon. You’re losing romance points for that!

Okay, but all joking aside, because I know a lot of my fellow Jonsas were probably a little put off by this scene; let’s break it down. After Jon’s crappy comeback, Dany moves closer to him, and he says something kind of flirtatious and sweet: “It’s cold up here for a southern girl.”

This is actually a very Jon-like thing to say, and I could even see this kind of banter between him and Ygritte. It’s also a very ‘equal’ thing to say—here, where no one is around, and formalities aren’t necessary. After all, had he said, “it’s cold up here for a southern queen,” it wouldn’t have had the same punch, now would it?

However, Dany has no interest in being Jon’s equal — even here, alone, her first instinct is to remind Jon she’s the queen: “then keep your queen warm” — not, “then this northern boy better keep her warm”, or “then keep your southern girl warm.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but that’s what hopped out at me.

Now the kiss. Sigh. Yes, I’m not gonna lie, it definitely looks like Jon’s into it. But my darling Jonsas, before you’re ready to throw Jon under the bus (as I imagine quite a few of you did while I took an entire week to write up my recap) the parent reveal hasn’t happened yet! Simmer down and find your zen, Jon is not a northern fool!

And for you antis lurking around: NO. This doesn’t negate political!jon. Not even a little bit. If political!jon is true, then he’s doing exactly what he committed to do—keeping Dany happy and keeping her North. The unfortunate trade-off is, she’s now their queen.

But what do we have here? Drogon seems a little restless, and Jon immediately breaks the kiss, and casts nervous eyes in the dragons direction. (Gods yes, this is so romantic). Dany laughs it off and tells Jon not to be afraid, pulling him back into the kiss. But while she’s all oblivious and lost in the kiss, Jon leans her body sideways and opens his eyes to eyeball Drogon, who’s giving him a look like ‘bitch, I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing. Watch your back.’

Is it a wonder why every single Jonerys love scene has been interrupted by weirdness? Bloody birth flashbacks, creepy brother voice-overs, no first kiss, growling stink-eyed Drogon... it’s almost like they’re trying to tell us that this isn’t really a romance.

And this is where I leave you, for now. The last part will follow shortly, and NO, I won’t break my future recaps into parts. I only did it this way because myself and half my house are sick.

#got afterthoughts #part 3 #got recap #jonsa #political!jon #dark!dany #anti jonerys #anti targaryen restoration #anti daenerys #(not really but just being safe)#melissa rants #long post

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book Thirty-Five: Dolores Claiborne

“Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive...sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto...”

Let’s play a fun game... who is the most famous Dolores you know? For me, it’s Dolores Avery, of Making a Murderer fame. She’s got a seemingly endless collection of fancy house dresses (er, nightgowns), people are always on her case about not taking her diabetes medication, and the fact she refers to her grown son as “Stevie” cracks me up every time. And her Manitowoc accent is SO strong it should be a character by itself.

I know there are people who haven’t seen this gem of a “documentary” on Netflix, and it’s really something special. It highlights the worst Wisconsin has to offer (as if being home to both Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein wasn’t enough). Please know... we’re not all like the Avery family. We’re not all inbred hicks... some of us even have college degrees and haven’t committed crimes like masturbating on a police car.

My sister and I like to use the Manitowoc accent (we also refer to it as our Manitowoc County voices); and we refer to each other as Dolores, and our daughters as Little Dolores. Whenever I say Dolores, my husband is hella confused about who I’m actually referring to. Spoiler: it’s always my sister. We’ve also been known to yell, “Dolores!!” as we drive past each other’s homes. Our neighborhood is so lucky to have us.

So, Dolores Avery was the only Dolores I knew before picking up Dolores Claiborne. Spoiler: DC might be my new favorite Dolores. I had really low expectations for this book. It was referenced a few times in Gerald’s Game, and I really hoped it wasn’t the same trigger warning bullshit. I started it, and groaned. Was I really going to be able to read 300 pages of monologue?

Yes.

Yes, I was.

And quickly, I might add.

The entire book is Dolores’s police interview regarding her involvement in the murder of Vera Donovan, the elderly woman Dolores worked for. Dolores immediately admits she had no part in Vera’s death, but she did kill her own husband, Joe.

Remember in Gerald’s Game when Jessie kept having images of a woman standing over a well? That was Dolores, and Joe was the dead body at the bottom of the well.

But don’t worry, he totally deserved it.

So, Dolores spent almost her entire life working for Vera Donovan, an eccentric (all bed sheets should be hung outside with six clothespins- not four- but six!) rich bitch on Little Tall Island. Dolores started working for Vera when she still had her mental and physical capabilities, but in her later years, Vera was haunted by the dust bunnies under the bed, and had some particular incontinence habits. I totally would have killed her for this alone. Dolores is a better woman than I am.

Vera is a formidable woman, but Dolores is no slouch herself. She stuck up for the employees Vera fired for no reason, and wasn’t afraid to call a spade a spade. Or, a bitch a bitch as the case may be. After all, Dolores had her own shit going on. Her husband Joe was an alcoholic, abusive piece of garbage, who took it too far one night, and Dolores threatened to beat him dead if he ever tried it again. Their daughter, Selena, walks in on this scene, and Dolores tells her to go back to bed.

But, Selena’s behavior starts changing. She becomes a total daddy’s girl, following Joe around everywhere, bringing him snacks, and working in the garage with him. But then she changes again. She stops washing her hair, she wears big, baggy clothes, and starts coming home from school later and later. Dolores eventually finds out Joe has been sexually abusing Selena.

Once again, she threatens him, and tells him to stay away from their daughter. She knows she needs to escape. So, she goes to the bank to withdraw money from the kids college accounts... only to find out Joe beat her to the punch and withdrew the money already.

Dolores is frustrated, angry, and loses her shit one day at work. Vera tells her there’s only one thing you do with a man like Joe. Dolores knows she’s right; Selena deserves better than living in fear of her father.

So Dolores ships her kids away, and waits for the eclipse, when the entire town is either on a boat Vera rented out, or on a hotel rooftop. She gets Joe drunk, provokes him, and then has him strategically chase her through the woods, where he falls into an abandoned well, and eventually dies after Dolores clocks him in the head with a rock.

For a minute, she reconsiders killing Joe. Maybe he’ll change. Maybe he’ll get better. But then she has an image of a little girl in a yellow and red striped dress, sitting on her daddy’s lap as he paws at her (it’s Jessie!). And she knows she needs to do this for abused children everywhere.

Dolores calls Joe in missing the next day, the police eventually find his body, but find no signs of foul play. Well done, Dolores! You could teach a master class in crime scene and interviewing tactics. Vera raises an eyebrow and just kind of smirks. She knows what Dolores did and she silently applauds her for it.

So, life continues on. Dolores’s kids grow up and thrive away from their asshole father, and she keeps working for Vera as her health deteriorates. One day, Vera has had enough of life, and asks Dolores to kill her. She’s haunted by dust bunnies, and she knows her mental capacity is diminished. But before Dolores can do it, Vera trips and falls down the stairs, killing herself.

Dolores is conflicted about Vera’s death. Yes, she was a crabby old lady with peculiar habits; but she was also the one who basically gave her permission to kill her husband. A few days after Vera’s death, Dolores gets a call informing her she’s now thirty million dollars richer. Vera left Dolores her entire fortune.

Dolores is confused, and assumed the money would have gone to Vera’s kids. But come to find out, Vera’s kids are dead... they died in a horrific car accident. But it explains why they never came to visit their mother. They’re not terrible kids, they’re just dead.

Dolores is eventually cleared in Vera’s murder, and anonymously donates the thirty million to an orphanage, just in time for Christmas. Boom. Merry Christmas, orphan children!

I loved this book. The narrative style was so different from anything Steve had written up to this point, and Dolores and Vera are bad-ass bitches who understand what it means to support other women and take care of them. And know when their husbands have to die.

youtube

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 25

Total Dark Tower References: 26

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Next is Nightmares and Dreamscapes. Ka was on my side with this one, it was delivered three hours before I finished Dolores Claiborne!

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

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nooneimportantandjustignore · 4 years

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Critical Role?

What happens when Critical Role and AI Dungeon meet? Stuff get weird and confusing really fast.

Note: AI Dungeon is a “Game” that lets you have kind of a D&D solo experience, but the GM is AI. The story will be below

"Hello everybody and welcome to Critical Role, Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons." Matt Mercer says as the show starts. They look at each other and then back at Mercer who is now looking over his shoulder. You can't help but notice that he has some sort of device strapped to him which you assume is a radio or something similar.

> Travis speaks, "I would like to go get some supplies for Fjord"

You both turn your attention back to the screen where Travis is speaking. He looks very nervous and you can tell he's not used to this kind of situation.

Travis: I would like to go get some supplies for Fjord. Can we do it in person?

> Matt looks confused, "Um, Travis we're live. Can you wait until we finish playing D&D?"

Matt: "What are you talking about? We're live! What are you talking about?" Travis: "Uh, well I was just wondering if we could do it in person. It'd be much easier than sending people to bring stuff from far away.

> Matt just turns to someone else, "Jester what are you doing" he asks Laura

Laura: "Nothing, just getting my mind off things." Travis: "Well I'm going to go talk with Fjord, she wants to come too." Laura: "No!" you say. Travis: "She doesn't want to leave?

> Matt looks confused at what Travis said, "Is Fjord talking to himself?"

You both look at each other and shrug. Travis: "Yeah, but I think we should all go together." Matt Face Palms

> Matt turns the Sam, "What is Nott doing?"

You both turn your attention back to the screen where Matt is still talking. You don't know why, but you feel compelled to ask him.

Matt: "Nott, I think you should stay here and guard the door while everyone goes out there.

> Sam looks at Matt, "Why are you taking control of my character?" looking upset

Sam: "Because I am the best DM ever!" You both shake your head.

Travis: "So you think you're better than me huh?" You both shake your heads again.

> "No one said that Travis" they both say

You both continue to shake your heads.

Travis: "Alright alright, I'll take over, but only because I want to see how good you really are." They both nod and agree.

> The camera crew of Critical Role look fucking confused as all hell

The camera crew of Critical Role looks completely baffled by everything that is happening. This includes you. You can't believe you were so caught up in the game that you didn't pay any attention to them. You try to ignore them though and keep on watching the action unfold on screen.

> Marisha stands up, "Guys, I think were losing focus of the game. Can we please get back on track?" She tells everyone

Marisha continues to stand up, "Ok guys, let's get back on track. Let's not worry about who is in charge or anything else right now. Just concentrate on having fun and enjoying the show." Everyone nods their agreement and start focusing again.

> Matt tells them they in the city of Nicodranas and are on there way to the Lavish Chateau to see Jester's mom

The Mighty Nein enter the Lavish Chateau and see Carlos the bartender cleaning some glasses. Carlor, "Jester, it's good to see you. Does you mother know you were coming?"

> Jester, "No I wanted to surprise her" Laura says as Jester

Carlos: "I should have know. Do you want me to let her know you are her?"

> Jester just shakes her head, "No, that's okay. Is she in her room?" she asks Carlos

Carlos: "She isn't, no." Laura: "Good then she won't be home when we arrive. Well anyway lets get this party started! The first thing I'm going to do is make sure everyone knows how to play a musical instrument." Everyone laughs.

> I keep watching the show confused at what is happening

You watch the show for awhile and realize that you aren't really paying attention to what is actually going on. It seems like every other sentence someone says another one pops into your mind. "Oh he has a sword... Wait did he kill his dad? What happened to his family?"

You begin to wonder if you are even listening to the show anymore. Suddenly you hear a voice from behind you, "Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" You turn around and see Marisha with a dagger in hand. She notices your presence immediately.

> I turn to face her, "HOLY SHIT MARISHA RAY IS IN MY HOUSE!!" I say with excitement, complete ignoring the dagger she has in her hand

Marisha: "What the hell are you doing out here?" You: "I'm trying to find my sister Laura Ray, she was supposed to meet me here!" Marisha: "Where the hell did you come from?!

> "I should be asking you that Marisha, how did you get in my house?" I say

Marisha: "Well I don't remember you being here before..." You: "Yeah well I'm here now, so ask me where I came from then!" Marisha: "Fine, but you better tell me the truth or else I'll cut your throat!"

> "DAAAAMMMMNNNNN!!"

You: "Daaaaaaamnnnn!!!" Marisha looks at you with disgust, "Alright alright alright, calm down. First off I didn't mean any harm by it. Second of all why would I hurt you? You've been helping me out a lot lately."

> "I mean I just watch the show, but I'm happy to know that helps"

"I mean I just watch the show, but I'm happy to know that helps.

Alright fine, but you better help me out if you want to stay here."

You: "Okay, but only because I feel obligated to help a nice lady who's obviously been struggling with money problems."

Marisha: "

> "Wait, why did I say that? I mean I'd be more then happy to help you in anyway I can Marisha."

Marisha: "Because you're an idiot right? Because you think because I'm nice and have money that you can get me to let you stay here?" You: "That's not true, I just feel obligated to help out a person in need.

> I stare at her confused, "I have no idea what is going on anymore, do you?" I ask her

Marisha: "No, but you seem pretty interested in me so maybe we will soon enough." You: "What do you mean?

> "Whoa, not interested in that way or anything. I mean your married to Matt and all. So how can I help?"

Marisha: "Oh, I thought you were into guys too." You: "No, I like girls as well. But thanks for clearing that up." Marisha: "So...what do you want to do?

> Stare blankly, "I think my brain just broke" I say

Marisha: "Well, I guess we could go out sometime." You: "Hey wait a minute! What about Laura?" Marisha: "She said she wanted to see you first, so I figured we should start there." You: "But she's dead!"

> "WAIT WHAT?!? Where did that come from brain?" I look so shocked

Marisha: "It was implied in one of her letters to me. She wrote that she had a crush on you when you first moved in here." You: "WHAT?!

> "I've never even met her, how would she have a crush on me. I'm just a fan of the show."

Marisha: "Well I suppose it makes sense. The guy that played your character died and his girlfriend left him after he died. That's pretty tragic stuff right?" You: "Yeah, but...

> "Okay... When the hell was I on Critical Role, because you think I would remember something important like that." I say

Marisha: "Look, I don't really care about Laura, but I'll tell you this much. If she wants to talk to you, I'll be glad to meet her." You: "Great. Well thanks for the information Marisha.

> "Marisha Laura's your friend how could you say something mean like that about her?" I say somewhat upset

Marisha: "Don't worry about it, I know you meant well. Anyway, I'll see you later tonight." Marisha leave your home and head back the show. As you walk down the stairs, you hear a knock on the door.

> I just sit there completely stunned with what just transpired before me

You sit there completely stunned with what just transpired before you. After a few moments, you slowly open the door. It's Laura who knocks on the door. Laura: "Hi." You: ...

> Thinking to myself, "WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!?"

You: "W-wait, Laura..." Laura: "Why are you sitting there like a dumbfounded idiot? Did I do something wrong?" You: "...no, nothing happened." Laura: "Really? Then why are you acting weird?

> "Um, because you and Marisha have visited me today and I can't understand why?" I look dumbfounded

Laura: "What the heck is wrong with you? Are you jealous?" You: "No, no, I didn't mean anything by it." Laura: "Then what the hell is going on?" You: "I dunno. Just calm down and let me explain."

> "Look how are you even here right now, last I check Critical Role was live. HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!" I start freaking out

Laura: "I get here early, then I stay at the hotel until late. Then I go to your house. Usually I sleep over there too, but sometimes we hang out somewhere else or just hang out together." You: "Wait, so you're not actually staying at the hotel?"

> "I-I... I just..." My brain blue screens of deaths on me

Laura: "Oh come on, calm down. Look I'm sorry if I offended you." You: "But... But how and why are you here?"

> I walk over to a wall and hit my head against it to see if I am dreaming

You wake up from your dream. You stand in front of a large room filled with people. There is also an old man standing next to you looking very stern and serious. He looks like he has been crying for quite some time, which gives you the impression that he might be dying.

> "Okay, so is this a dream within a dream?" I look around confused

You: (sigh) Okay, so is this a dream within a dream? Because I feel like I've had one before. Old Man: *Sob* No, it isn't my fault! This is all YOUR fault!

> "How is any of this my fault!" I shout back at the old man

Old Man: Oh don't be so angry. It's all your fault. The only reason why I am still alive is because you put me into this coma! You did this to me! You: ...

> Walk over to old man and punch him, "No."

You: "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Old Man: *Sob* Please, please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. You: "Well okay then, but why am I still here?"

> Go over to the nearest wall and bash my head against it trying to wake up from this nightmare

You: "WHY AM I STILL HERE?" Old Man: "Because you were supposed to kill me. Now stop being such a baby and do it." You: "YOU KILLED ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR IT!"

> "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ANYMORE! I JUST WANTED TO WATCH CRITICAL ROLE AND RELAX!!" I YELL

Old Man: "Shut up! Shut up! Don't talk to me like that!" You: "Fine, fine, whatever. I'll do it anyway. What's the point of killing me when I won't die?

> Look for an exit

You turn around and leave the room.

You walk outside and find yourself in a field with several houses surrounding you. The sun is setting behind them. You notice that they all seem to be abandoned buildings, but then again maybe that's what makes them more creepy.

> I pinch myself to wake up from this dream

You: "Pinch me to wake me up from this dream." You: "Alright, alright, I'm awake now. So where am I exactly?

> I'm in front of my computer, which has Critical Role playing, "I must of dozed off" I resume watching

I see the Mighty Nein going onto the Ball Eater to get ready for the party

. You see some people sitting on chairs and tables talking about something or other. Then suddenly a voice comes through the speakers, "Hello everyone, I'm Matti Newell and welcome to the first episode of Critical Role!" You: "Wait...what?

> I emotionally break down

You: "Oh god, I can't take this anymore. This isn't real! I just woke up from a bad dream and now THIS is happening! How can this be?!"

The next scene shows you standing before the group who are dressed in their full battle gear.

> I just stare at them lost for words as to what is happening anymore

You: "What the hell is going on?! Why am I here? Who are these people?" They: "We're your friends. We're the cast of Critical Role.

> "I wish!" I say

You: "I didn't sign up for this!" They: "But we thought you would. Besides, you said you wanted to relax after the long day of work...

> "How did I get here?"

They: "Well, you got into a car accident and ended up in our town. Well, we were wondering if you could help us out by taking care of the crash victims while we went to the party." You: "Wait, WHAT!?"

> "None of this makes any sense. Car Accident? WAIT AM I IN A COMA?!?"

They: "No, no, it was an accident. It's not like you had anything to do with it." You: "WHAT!? What the hell is going on? Are they trying to kill me?

Am I dreaming all this? Please tell me what's going on!

THE END

#critical role #the mighty nein #ai dungeon 2 #randomness #fever dream #Send help #what is even happening #funnystuff #enjoy

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daddycardan · 5 years

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Jurdan’s baby part 4 (and his relationship with uncle Locke in a nutshell)

(so as you’ll notice i finally decided to call him by his actual name, because it was getting a lil uncomfortable to always call him “the little Prince”. Also i was sitting on this chapter for ages, mostly because I was trying to resist the urge of going on this motherfucker Locke a little harder hah)

so, it is already known that he doesn’t have to much love for his uncle

by that, i mean he detests him

but it’s not just blind hate

there is a reason why

so here’s the story:

but first, it’s important to mention that he never really liked him

he’s always had this instinct feeling of discomfort around him and he noticed the way his parents are talking to him in a slightly different manner than they do to others

but this one time determined their whole relationship and not for the better

he just recently turned 3, and his mommy was trying to put him in the bath that morning

but he had no desire whatsoever of getting clean after a whole day of playing in the Milkwood with his little friends

he was dirty

really dirty

covered from head to toe

but he didn’t care and when Jude tried to lift him up and put him in the tub, he screamed and wriggled and ran away from her

he raced out of the royal apartments, shrieking with laughter, daring Jude to chase him

Jude followed him from a distance, amused by his outbursting joy

he ran down the hallways, stark naked, covered in dirt, quickly moving his short, chubby legs, trying to get away from her

but he was stopped

by a man

a big man who stood in his way

he appeared out of a shadow and he was really tall and scary

he looked down at him and smiled

“Oh, my, my, my! What do I spy with my little eye?” he said

he instantly recognized him

Luck, or what is his name

the ugly man, as he called him

“You look a little dirty, don’t you, little Ashy?”

he lifted his big hands and touched the top of his head

it was really uncomfortable and he was really afraid and he wanted to run away but didn’t dare

his knees dropped a little and he tried to lower his head to get rid of the ugly man’s hand

“Do your parents know that you managed to escape? Or are they too busy running their kingdom?” He laughed in strange way. “Oh, look, even your tail is covered in dirt!”

the ugly man was grabbing after his tail

i repeat, his one and only t a i l

and this is where he lost it

he screamed

not his usual scream, no

l o u d e r

he hit the man with his small, chubby fists

he shut his eyes and fought for his life

he was used to fighting against dragons, but this was even harder

“HE BIT ME!”

when he opened his eyes again, his mommy was already there

she was enraged

she picked him up in her arms and he already felt so much safer

he knew that the evil man cannot hurt him anymore

his mommy punched the man in the face and his skull made a loud, painful noise when it hit the wall behind him

“OW, hey, stop, I haven’t done anything!” the man yelled

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” And with that, his mommy turned to him. “What has he done to you, baby?”

he tried to say it, but he was unable

tears were stinging his eyes

he opened his mouth to tell her that this man touched him, tried to kill him, tried to rip off this tail

but he couldn’t

he started crying

he curled up in her arms and pressed his cheek against Jude’s breast

his mom was rocking him back and forth while the man was complaining about some kind of bite he didn’t know of

“Jude, your son literally bit me!”

Locke raised his left hand, showing the pink half moon on his skin, the mark of Ashy’s teeth

“You deserved it. You wanted to harm your Prince! He was just protecting himself, good boy.”

“I wasn’t—” Locke began

“He tried to kill mey!” Ash yelled, tears running down his blushed cheeks. “He toutched mey with hes ugley hands!”

his mommy’s face darkened

the evil man tried to explain himself, but mom called the guards and they took him somewhere

after that, he started sobbing again, and Jude brought him back to the royal chambers where they joined Cardan

he explained everything to them

in detail

the story included Locke spying on him and calling him dirty

trying to crash his bones with his big hands

and attempting to rip off his precious little tail (at this part, Cardan gasped)

when he finished the story, Cardan and Jude shared a long look

“We have to execute him,” Jude decided

Cardan groaned

“He tried to murder our son!” she claimed furiously and protectively embraced Ashy

“He ought not to be executed yet,” Cardan said. “Not until we hear the full story.”

“Are you suggesting that Ashton is not saying the truth?” Jude asked accusingly, narrowing her eyes

“No, but we all know he tends to… exaggerate.”

Ashy was deeply offended by this

he turned away from Cardan and buried his face in the crook of Jude’s neck

he was sulking all day next day

but it didn’t change things

Cardan didn’t let them sentence Locke to death, much to Jude’s great sorrow and Ashy’s disappointment

the mere punishment he’s gotten for almost murdering his Prince was getting fired from his position as Master of Revels and an official reprimand from the High King

“At least we should exile him,” Jude debated, but that stubborn idiot, who calls himself her husband didn’t listen

“Cut off hes ugley hands!” Ash demanded, but his daddy just shook his head

Jude wasn’t satisfied

at all

neither was Ashy

but at least now they hate Locke equally

it created a great bond between them

nowadays, sometimes they just sit down and talk shit about him together

such a lovely family activity

#tcp headcanon #jurdan headcanon #tfota #jurdan #i hate locke so much

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mikiruma · 5 years

Note

okay i'm snapping what the hell is saints row about. who's the dude with the giant titties you keep thirsting over and who's the mcdonalds emo. i need some answers bc i don't know shit.

ill edit this w a readmore bc it got Very wordy and im on mobile but i promise you. this series is a mess, i live for it, i could go ON abt it for days but this response was long enough fhwkfhejhfnd

1) so basically the premise in most of the games is like. you are a member (leader as of sr2) of a street gang (the third street saints!) and though the story is tweaked slightly for each installment, the overall goal is the same- control different neighborhoods in your city, squash the other gangs, be badass. i *call* it a grand theft auto clone but tbh i havent played gta, the gameplay's similar enough though. the first two games are more uhh... grounded? than the later 3? the plotlines are darker, deaths & events are more fucked up in a heavier/moral sense, etc etc. but the last 3 are way more silly i think. the entire series is kinda packed with crude/sexual humour and essentially responding to a punch with a flamethrower, but it goes over the top in the newer games which is.. why i always liked em lol.

but its just funny in general to think of the plot progression. oh i witness a gang war so im recruited in a gang whose current leader... wants to end gang violence. oh that leader tried to kill me and arrested/killed everyone else so i am going to go apeshit on this city until i find him and kill him back. oh somehow we are international celebrities and do crime as publicity stunts, i am gonna ask mayor burt reynolds to help us with this zombie invasion. oh now i am president of the united states, time to get the earth blown up by an alien warlord and do it with whats left of my gang every survivor plus an ai in a ball.

ive seen Some Shit abt the general timeline but tbh ive always tried to piece it together like. ok these games take place in/around whatever year they were released. besides sr4 which would be... 2019 if my math is correct? i just felt like mentioning that bc i am not touching any canon timeline

OH ALSO the main reason i even got into the series. i literally bought sr3 because of the character customization. the body mods could.... use a lot of work imo but what you can do for your protags face is BANANAS... and changing voice pitch in sr4 was fun too bc male 1 was ok for my boss but having it just a teensy bit higher REALLY made it

tldr; i cant help you there i am just along for this ride

2) im assuming you mean johnny gat not bc theres any competition but like. theres so many dudes like that in this game

his role is actually pretty consistent in that he stays a lieutenant, and hes one of the rare characters (besides. the protag i think?) who's been in every single game. he's the designated badass of the saints and is really good at coming up with plans that involve lots of guns or blowing stuff up. if i typed everything i liked abt him right now this post would be a mile long but trust me he is an excellent man, even tho he might be the scariest motherfucker ever and i probably would be afraid of him irl, he fully deserves that. hes loyal to the saints and his boss which i absolutely respect. still bitter abt sr3 "killing" him bc cmon. he cannot die. does that count in the spoiler? its the literal first mission after u customize your character so i dont think so// whatever ive been posting untagged spoilers for the other games bc theyve been out for a decade

3) IM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER THAT SJSDHADDHSI mcdonalds emo.... thats his legal name now....

but seriously matt miller is like. one of my fav characters from sr3. he's the leader of one of the rival gangs, the deckers, and they specialize in hacking & money laundering and stuff like that. matt specifically is 16 in his debut game which is really funny to learn bc imagine being a ballsy ass kid repeatedly nae naeing the us government because you can.

anyway i like him bc instead of killing the other gang leaders like usual, u just fight him in a vr world and ur both sick ass dragons and he decides "actually i dont wanna go brain dead. ill give u either weapons or car discounts" then he fucks off back to england. then it lets him come back for sr4 and yall are friends now :D yes yall tried to kill each other but whats past is past. i would be his friend irl honestly hes great. also im still firm on the autistic matt train bc of how often he shares his love for nyte blayde & im WEAK over the boss eventually getting into it as well

#response #groovenians #saints row #someone please help me out my sr1 knowledge is not as great as the other games #but yeah this series is peak me. funy s*x joke. hot dudes. organized crime. character customization. its great #ppl upload cutscenes and stuff on yt too if ur interested!!! but if ur more into story start with sr1 bc thats where it all starts #aaaand if u just wanna jump into the haha funny stuff sr3 or 4 are fun #gat out of hell technically is a standalone expansion but i LOVE the plot in that one. obv lots of religious imagery tho #what am i missing. oh yeah im not messin around w the first two games being darker #like it works in gettin u attached to characters but also. sr2 made me feel sick. if u dont want that PLEASE stick to the newer games

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neverwatchedonepiece · 5 years

Text

607-608: "A Fierce Battle Gets Heated! Luffy vs. Caesar!" and "A Mastermind Underground! Doflamingo Makes His Move!"

This one pulls no punches, does he?

Chalk up another pair of excellent episodes with a satisfying payload of reveals.

The major one? Well, it’s obvious, right? Doflamingo has sidled out of the shadows and is now fully involved in the plot. The mysterious thing Law claimed would shake the New World is a substance/object called SAD which is being manufactured by Caesar on Punk Hazard. Not only that, Caesar Clown is like the Colonel Freaking Sanders of the OPverse, in that he is the only person who knows the eleven secret herbs and spices for making SAD. He also turned Foxfire’s kid into a dragon.

(Or at least I think he did. That could have been Vegapunk but I don’t think Vegapunk is cruel enough to do that.)

Still have no idea what SAD is, but I will kick back and let the plot guide me slowly towards the answer because I cannot even begin to speculate.

SAD: Eleven Secret Herbs and Spices

Law is such a plot catalyst.

He didn’t do much across 607 and 608. Well, not to my eyes, anyway.

All he did was walk down a dark corridor with purpose, stand in front of a big, important-looking door, trigger an alarm opening said door, and entering the room with a smirk, while declaring: “Yes. This will shake up the New World.”

Once I finished 607 and 608, I realised Law is probably in deep shit because a lot of powerful, angry characters are out for his blood. He is also at a major disadvantage until he reclaims his heart from Vergo (as he told Smoker via flashback). Because of Law, the plot is now speeding along at a cracking pace.

Caesar Doesn’t Realise He’s Just Issued Luffy a Challenge

The action picked up where it left off. Luffy wound up a blistering punch that hit Caesar so hard I performed a sharp intake of breath and cringed for him.

Still, to give credit to Caesar, he totally tanked the direct hit. The madman got up again just in time to see Luffy speeding towards him, arms outstretched. That pesky rubber boy just insists on trying to grab him! There was a spot of hilarious, “GOT YOU!” “HA, NO YOU DIDN’T!” Then Caesar got fed up, set the place on fire and asked Luffy a really important question.

“Why are you attacking me?”

That was so damned funny to me. They’ve been knocking seven bells out of each other for several episodes now and Caesar had no idea why Luffy decided to noise him up.

Luffy’s answer was even funnier.

“I don’t know why but I’ve been told something fun would begin if I kidnap you!”

If there is such a thing as a Top Ten Luffiest Moments Compilation, that line has to be in mix surely? Why are you fighting me? No idea, but I was promised fun if I do. I have no words. xD

Caesar made a last ditch attempt to dissuade Luffy from an outright punch-up. Probably because he knows Luffy uses haki and that makes him vulnerable to suffering more gut-punches. “You formed an alliance with Law, right? He told you do kidnap me. You can’t trust him. I’m sure he’ll betray you. Don’t do it.”

Luffy’s response? “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

Negotiations broke down rather swiftly after that. Caesar broke out his karakuni (oxygen removal) technique. It has a limited range, which is good because it would be too overpowered otherwise. Luffy dodged and Caesar tanked another punch right in the word hole. But Caesar is such a mad bastard he actually closed the distance, got right up in Luffy’s face, deprived him of oxygen and slashed at him with a flashy, flaming hot blue sword technique. For good measure, he resorted to a few gastanets to hold Luffy at bay.

Caesar’s fighting style is suprisingly aggressive. xD

Still, when Luffy could huff some oxygen into his rubbery lungs, he was too fast for Caesar. Luffy’s response to Caesar’s aggressive style? “HEY YOU! STAY AWAY FROM ME!” At which point he booted Caesar in the face and he went flying.

“Damn it, that hurt!” Caesar seethed. (He hates haki users, ha!) But he still got back up.

Luffy realised he needed to catch Caesar quickly before he was choked to death. I still think if he hits Caesar hard enough, he’ll be able to do it no bother. It’s just a matter of getting Caesar on his own because Monet is under strict orders from Doflamingo to Not Let Anything Happen to his Cash Cow Scientist.

It was annoying because Luffy was *so close*. Caesar was willing to let him go because he wanted to show the brokers the power of Shinokuni and was impatient to get back to his experiment. But Luffy stretched his head back, took a deep breath and readied his armament hardening. (Did Vergo use Armament Hardening on his knife stick weapon when he beat up Law?)

He yelled, “If I can’t breathe, I’ll kick your ass in one breath!” (Nice line, Luffy.)

Caesar yelled back, “You want to die, don’t you? Then I’ll give you the death you chose for yourself. Go to hell, Strawhat!”

Caesar almost crumbled. Almost. He dodged the headbutt, but the incoming Jet Gatling was too much. He was saved at the last second by Monet.

It turns out Monet is in possession of the Snow Snow Fruit, can control snow at will and - from what I’ve seen so far - she seems pretty adept at using it.

She was impressed that Luffy’s hits cracked the solid ice wall she had used to shield Caesar. My jaw dropped when Caesar’s head popped out from the ice shards and he was ready for another round.

Monet must have stepped in because she knows when the red mist descends, Caesar does dumb stuff (like persisting in squaring up to Strawhat Luffy like a belligerent drunk in a bar fight). As Caesar is not allowed to do dumb stuff leading to him being kidnapped, she appealed to his scientist ego.

“You must go, Master. This fight is meaningless.”

Caesar snapped out of his red mist rage and seemed to remember what was at stake. He laughed and swept away. “Goodbye, Strawhat! Be as wild as you want. I already have an idea of how to make you people test subjects. Look forward to it!” Nice to see Caesar can swallow his pride and stick to a plan, even if he needs a nudge.

Of course, Luffy went after him, but Monet wrapped her talons round his shoulders. Access denied. If anything happened to Caesar, Joker would kill her.

“That’s the bird guy I saw in the war, isn’t it? Who is he?”

Monet almost revealed everything. Almost. I sense a pattern emerging here. xD “He wants to kidnap Master and wants SAD to be...” She smiled, said no more, but added, “Now I know what you guys are going for.” (Referring to Law and their alliance plot.)

It was round about that time that the call from Doflamingo came through. They were to take out Law and Strawhat - but be extra careful around Strawhat as he was able to use Conqueror’s Haki (Doflamingo must have spotted that at Marineford.)

At the moment, Luffy is battling Monet. I’m guessing he’ll defeat her pretty quickly, even though she didn’t seem too phased about his Conqueror’s Haki. Then he’ll be running like hell through the labyrinthine complex hunting for Caesar again. Business as usual!

Sanji is Not Vergo’s Biggest Fan

This was strangely interesting clash. Not on account of Vergo. It was mostly Sanji. For all the pasting he gets for being pervy (among other things), he shows moments of genuine concern and consideration for his fellow human beings, no matter what side they are on.

While Sanji and Vergo battled, the G5 Marines looked on in shock. Why was Black Leg/Foot/Limb/Appendage Sanji helping them? He was a pirate. Worse still, the gas was seeping through. Even though he’d knocked Vergo into a wall, Sanji told the Marines to run. When Vergo unfolded himself from the impact crater, he readied a final blow - but then the distress call from the SAD Manufacturing Room intervened and he ducked out to pursue Law.

Sanji about to run himself before he spotted two unconscious Marines. He couldn’t help but risk his life to rescue them. Then, when the Marines showered him with praise, he was... well, he was Sanji-ish about it. “I only take praise from girls, etc.”

But when the Marines thanked him for helping them against the “Impostor Vergo” and when Tashigi kept up the ruse to as not to hurt her men, Sanji went along with it - even though I’m convinced he knows about the betrayal, as he told Vergo: “You’re the type of guy that our Captain hates most.”

So Sanji decided to spare the feelings of these Marines he didn’t know because he sensed, just like Tashigi did, that the truth would crush them.

That was a pretty nice thing to do, actually. Humanity points there for Sanji. And leadership points for Tashigi, into the bargain.

But... while Sanji was being a reluctant hero, Vergo was bouncing through the passage towards Building D. And someone very important was on the line!

The Feathered One Has Finally Arrived!

While the rest of the cast are currently swimming in the poison-gas-filled hell that is Punk Hazard, Doflamingo (or Doffy as his pals call him) has been living it up on the beautiful island of Dressrosa.** A calm blue sea. Colourful flowers. Architecture that looks Italian. Dressrosa is a nice place. A veritable paradise.

**(Or at least I think it’s an island. I have seen the Dressrosa arc in the dropdowns on CR and every other arc is a location, so I’m going with island for now.)

Vergo was in the middle of his report: “Trafalgar Law is in the SAD manufacturing room. No doubt he is betraying us.”

Doffy was not pleased with the news. “I have treated Law as my young brother and watched over him as he grew up. What a shame. He’s a the SAD manufacturing room, huh?”

At that point, a gun-handed lady staged a series of violent interruptions that did not phase Doflamingo in the slightest. Her swipes barely even broke his concentration.

“Here’s what I’d do if I were Law. First, I’d destroy that room-- And kidnap Caesar? No. I’d just kill him. Because Caesar is the only person in the world who knows how to produce SAD. But if Law does such a thing, I’ll be in trouble, Vergo. If Caesar is killed, no one else can produce that gas. Then it will ruin my business. And what would happen next if I got into such trouble? Misfortunes never happen singly.” (An oddly fatalistic viewpoint you have there, Doffy.)

A big dude tried to convince Baby 5 (the angry lady) to chill. “You can’t do that to the Young Master,” he admonished. (Young master. Interesting way of referring to Doflamingo. Is there an older master?)

An older lady asked Doflamingo what he would do with “that cute boy Law-chan.”

An older guy answered, “You know. Law is rebelling against us.”

Doflamingo ignored them all and gave Vergo his orders. “I need you to take care of Law. I wanna make him wish he was never born. So kill him in a horrific way.”

Vergo eventually offered to cut off Law’s ear and deliver it to Doflamingo.

“I look forward to seeing it!” Doflamingo replied (hilariously, as if Law’s ear were a new car or minor purchase).

He dealt with Baby 5 using his weird puppetmaster/control power and called Caesar and Monet. Once he warned them about Luffy’s Conqueror’s Haki, he announced Baby 5 and Buffalo would be sent to Punk Hazard. They all needed to come to Dressrosa at once.

Oooooooooooh, things are heating up! Now I’m wondering if Luffy and Law will even succeed in kidnapping Caesar. Doflamingo might show up with his big guns and snatch back his Cash Cow Scientist. Then again, that will mean Luffy might need to take an L. I don’t wan’t that to happen yet. It’s too soon after Marineford (well, it’s been over two years in the OPverse, but still.)

Not sure how this will unfold, but I am now majorly hyped for this plotline! :D

Twist Level: M. Night Shyamalan

Must admit, I have been thinking this Foxfire/Lost Son plot was kind of lame for a while now. It’s nowhere near as gripping as the Caesar/Law/Doflamingo conspiracy (to be fair, that’s a hard act to follow). Even the experiment kids have lost their plot shine in comparison.

Every time the action cut to the kids, or to Foxfire, I’d been thinking, “Okay this is nice but I need more Caesar, Luffy, Law or characters related to that plot strand, plz.”

But Oda suddenly merged them and threw in a major twist that has wrenched back my interest. The little dragon that has been harrying the Brownbeard Express (and hurting Brook’s feelings, HOW COULD YOU? xD) turned out to be Momonosuke: Foxfire’s own son!

Worse still, the Strawhats teamed up to beat the poor, little dragon and Foxfire almost kicked it to death because he bears a serious grudge against dragons. He kicked it to the point Brook actually said, “Dude... what did dragons do to you? You need to chill.” Foxfire almost sliced its scaly head off (his own son’s head!) Luckily, Nami shouted at them to get back on or they’d be left behind.

Once the Dragon Son was felled, the Brownbeard Express ran straight into Monster Chopper, who was desperately trying to wrangle the Candy-Addicted kids. Mocha is off on a mission to dispose of all the candy in the Biscuit Room. I foresee a lot of angry kids in the imminent future.

Another kid was the one who spilled the twist, right at the end of 608. She was about to head back to the Biscuit Room after examination and she mentioned a “secret room where no one is allowed to go.” Where the boy Momonosuke went and transformed into a dragon.

His own dad almost cut his freaking head off.

Can you believe that?

Such a great plot right now.

All around me are familiar faces...?

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deathberryhime · 5 years

Text

One (1) more dumb drabble coming through.

In which the bounty on Hiccup’s head is still on and he gets kidnapped on his wedding night.

[where the bounty hunters have a death wish]

[astrid isn’t happy -girl wanted her wedding night, dammit]

FFnet || AO3 | Wattpad

...

Hiccup woke up to a pounding head and a rolling stomach.

You’d think it’d be because of the mead from last night, but no. It wasn’t the mead, it wasn’t the loud music, or the fast-paced dancing he had done, not even the fact that the last thing he remembered was taking his wife to their marriage bed.

Blinking, Hiccup registered the dark hold of a ship, the rocking of the sea, and that he was hanging from the ceiling.

Shit. Astrid is going to be so mad.

An image of a smiling Astrid dressed in her wedding dress and with apple blossoms in her hair made Hiccup wince.

Crap. He left Astrid waiting on their wedding night. She’s gonna be furious.

The door was wrenched open and two burly Vikings entered. The grins on their face made Hiccup frown.

“What is it this time?” They didn’t say anything as they walked forward. “I hope you have a new excuse because if it’s dragons again I’ll be really disappointed.”

He was ready for the punch; he had endured worse.

“Shut it, twig.” The one with the eye-patch growled. The other one, with the crooked teeth, just cracked his knuckles.

“Someone has a heavy penny on your head, skinny. I’ve been looking for new boots lately.” He shoved a paper at his face and when he managed to lean back far enough to take a look, Hiccup wanted to laugh.

“You do know that you’ll never get your money right?”

They both laughed and sneered at him. Hiccup frowned.

“No, I’m serious. The Grimborns are both dead.”

The bounty hunters stopped and stared at him, shared a glance before staring at him again.

“You lie.” Eye-patch growled and stepped forward. Hiccup, recalling all the chaos that had happened when that Thor-damned bounty first came out, leaned back.

“I really don’t. You’d think I’d still be here if they weren’t? I mean, I was a real thorn at their side and they did try to kill me, but one is at the bottom of the ocean and the other buried in a cave at an island outside the Archipelago.”

Astrid had told him many times that he tended to ramble. She had found it cute and endearing and she used to kiss him when he talked in circles and made his brain putty.

He had the distinct thought that these bounty hunters didn’t find it cute or endearing. They definitely didn’t kiss him either.

“Hey!” Hiccup said after a particularly hard shove. “Watch it! I wouldn’t do that if I were you!”

Crooked Teeth sneered –ew, when was the last time he brushed it?– and shoved him again. “You think we are scared of your lizards?”

Hiccup was baffled. Surely, they didn’t think dragons were the only thing in Berk’s arsenal.

“Liz-! Who said anything about dragons? Have you met my wife?”

At their mocking sneers, Hiccup came to the conclusion that no, they didn’t know one Astrid Hofferson-recently-turned-Haddock.

“You think we are afraid of one frail little woman?” Eye-patch mocked.

“We are too far from the Archipelago, skinny. They’ll never find you.” Crooked Teeth grinned.

Oh, these poor idiots. He almost pitied them. Almost.

As if on cue something fell on the deck above. The two bounty hunters frowned, Hiccup felt a grin forming on his face. Then he remembered he had probably let her wait for the entirety of their wedding night and promptly paled.

“I know he is here, you maggots! Either you come out or I’m coming after you, you rats!”

Yep. The cavalry has arrived.

The bounty hunters –those poor bastards– made the mistake of running up on deck, swords and daggers at the ready to fight off the sudden threat. Personally, Hiccup thought they’d have better luck swimming to the edge of Midgard. At least, it’s what he ’d do, had he heard the lovely voice of his furious wife.

What followed was a series of grunts, war cries, swears, and pleas for mercy.

“How DARE you kidnap him on our wedding night!”

“We are sorry!”

“I should gut you like the pigs you are!”

“Please! Have mercy!”

“My sPLEEN!”

Music to his ears, really.

When the cacophony above ended, the gangplank was shoved away and through the glaring light came Astrid dressed in her battle armor, her ax, and the flower crown he’d suppose to remove. Hiccup grinned when she came down.

“Why, hello milady! How are you this fine morning?”

“I’d be better if my husband stopped getting kidnapped all the time.” Astrid rolled her eyes and cut him loose. “Like, what time is this one, fifteenth?”

“Twelveth, actually! What can you do, milady? Your husband is very sought after.” He said grinning and Astrid fondly rolled her eyes.

“That you are.” She sighed before taking his hand and helping him at the deck. Toothless happily bounded over, whacking with his tail Eye-patch to Stormfly, who promptly sat down on both his captors, looking rather pleased with herself.

“You didn’t drag anyone else with you?” Hiccup said after he greeted his best friend.

“Everyone else is piss drunk, how did you think they managed to slip past our defenses?” His wife said while she watched Stormfly knock his captors unconscious. “We really need better rules when the mead and ale come into the equation, babe.”

“Eh, we are dragon riding Vikings, every day is a new adventure!”

Astrid shot him a deadpan look. “I’d rather not have this excitement repeated again. Now come on!” She said as she mounted Stormfly, “I saw a couple comfortable sea stacks a few miles over.”

“Milady is being so bold. Shouldn’t we wait until we reach New Berk and our bed?”

“I waited all damn night for your ass, I’m not waiting a minute longer. Let’s go!”

Hiccup followed Astrid’s quick take off with a rather dreamy grin on his face. “As Milady commands.”

#another dumb drabble #enjoy #hiccstrid #hiccstrid fic #just-married hiccstrid #married hiccstrid #alternate title: why kidnapping the chief of berk is a bad idea #alternate title: astrid just wants to consummate her marriage #alternate title: kidnap attempt no.12 #alternate title: it doesn't end well #httyd #httyd au #httyd fanfiction #hiccup #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #astrid #astrid hofferson #astrid haddock #dragon drabbles

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goforwardgreenwriter-blog · 6 years

Text

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 65 - 67

I want this book over and done with

The Lock had crafted the sarcophagus from the mountain itself. It had taken every ember of its power to bind Erawan within the stone, to seal him inside.

Chapter 65 opens up with Elena’s POV on how Erawan is sealed up.

When [Elena] had stolen the Lock from her father all those months ago, she had not known—had not understood —the truth depth of its power. Still did not know why he had forged it. Only that once, just once, could the Lock’s power be wielded. And that power … oh, that mighty, shattering power … it had saved them all.

Holy fragments, Batman! Holy em dashes, Batman! Was SJM typing with one hand or?

Gavin, sprawled and bloody behind her, stirred. His face was so mangled she could barely see the handsome, fierce features beneath.

Gavin got his ass whooped by Erawan but Elena still needs to bust a nut over how hot he once was lmfaoooooo you’re killing me SJM

But even Gavin had not known what [Elena]’d been planning. What she’d stolen and harbored all these months. She did not regret it. Not when it had spared him from death. Worse.

Lmao is this an unintentional parallel to Alien and Rowboat because i am laughing Elena is punished for keeping secrets but Alien blatantly gets away with it holy fucking shit

Some spirits show up and tell Elena despite her efforts, no cigar. Erawan is gonna bust out of there eventually.

“He will rise again one day,” said the one of darkness and death. “He will awaken. You have wasted our Lock on a fool’s errand, when you could have solved all, had you only the patience and wits to understand.” “Then let him awaken,” Elena begged, her voice breaking. “Let someone else inherit this war—someone better prepared.”

I’m a sucker for conflict like this, where the older generation passes their problems onto the younger generation and the falling out from that, but sadly SJM didn’t give me any good character to inherit these problems for me to care about. Such a good concept wasted on a shitty disguise for fantasy porn.

Elena has to promise she’ll help whoever holds the Wyrdkeys next to fix the problems she made. Thanks, Elena, for making me read Alien’s shitty adventure. The scene swaps over to another memory.

The Princess of Eyllwe had been wandering the Stone Marshes for weeks, searching for answers to riddles posed a thousand years ago. Answers that might save her doomed kingdom.

Wait.....Nehemia?

Nehemia, baby, what are you doing here? Flee this shitty novel! Run my child, be free and flee to the land of actual good writing!

So Elena tells Nehemia about Alien’s destiny to save everyone (gag) and to go forth and seek out Alien to help her.

“And the price?” Elena hated them, then. Hated the gods who had demanded this. Hated herself. Hated that this was asked, all these bright lights … “You will not see Eyllwe again.”

Wow. So SJM really made a black woman’s entire character arc about dying for her precious snowflake OC, huh....SJM really out here dong Nehemia dirty like this.........

Nehemia swallowed. “Then I shall help in whatever way I can. For Erilea. And my people.”

GROSS SOBBING

NEHEMIA DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT THIS SHITTY SERIES DID TO HER NEHEMIA BABY I AM SO SORRY

Chapter 66 opens with Assdion’s POV... great. Can I please see Maeve punch him in his stupid face?

Aedion Ashryver had been trained to kill men and hold a line in battle since he was old enough to lift a sword.

SJM is still attempting to get me to feel bad for Assdion. Well guess what Sarah, too little too late.

But Aedion’s duty wasn’t to remind [the soldiers] of the blunt facts. His duty was to make them willing to die, to make this fight seem utterly necessary.

Anything for your precious queen Alien, huh? Eat my ass, Assdion.

[Lysandra] had modified her sea dragon. Given it longer limbs—with prehensile thumbs. Given her tail more strength, more control.

Holy fucking shit, and I thought Alien was a Mary Sue!!! So Lysandra can not only perfectly shift into a creature she’s never seen in the flesh before, she can also modify it like it’s an RPG??? Holy fucking shit Sarah quit making all your OCs over powered!! How the fuck am I supposed to be feel any tension or fear???

Arrows fired with better accuracy than the Valg foot soldiers, shooting like those rays of sunshine into the water. [Lysandra]’d prepared for that, too. They bounced off scales of Spidersilk. Hours spent studying the material grafted onto Abraxos’s wings had taught her about it—how to change her own skin into the impenetrable fiber.

1. “rays of sunshine” the fucking imagery???? Does SJM know how words work???

2. HOLY SHIT, PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS MUCH??? We were given no indication Lysandra had been studying Abraxos’s wings until now, what a fucking ass pull!!! If you’re going to introduce new sudden magical elements you have to show them beforehand, otherwise it looks like you wrote yourself into a corner and just farted out a solution last minute!!!!

I hate this book. I hated it before, but I really hate it. The fact that so many talented authors receive no attention but SJM’s absolute garbage dumpster fire novels that are just for porn with no other thought put into them get all this praise makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Anyways, now we’re in Dorito’s POV and SJM Dorito is splooging over how powerful Rowan is. Same old, same old.

But when Aelin found their bodies, or whatever was left of them if the sea didn’t claim them … she might very well end the world for rage. Maybe she should. Maybe this world deserved it.

I mean, if she ended the world this series would be over and I’m on board with that, but you guys have spent this entire novel fighting to protect the world from the bad guys and now suddenly when things get hard you’re like, “eh fuck it the world doesn’t deserve our help”? Wow, some heroes you guys are.

[Dorian] wished he’d had more time to talk to the witch. To get to know her beyond what his body had already learned.

I’m not touching this because it’s beyond fucking stupid and this is the moment SJM should’ve woken up and realized her precious romances have no chemistry and are simply there for porn purposes.

Anyways, surprise surprise, Rowboat’s begging actually worked and his cousins start firing at their own ships. Score one for ass pulls!

Rowan had told Enda about Aelin.

The next chapter opens up with this, and I’m honestly baffled. If Rowboat told his cousins about the selfish shitlord that is Alien, you’d think they’d be more than eager to destroy her ship. But I suppose not.

So [Rowan]’d gone, ship to ship. To the cousins he knew might listen. An act of treason—that was what he had begged them for. Treason and betrayal so great they could never go home. Their lands, their titles, would be seized or destroyed.

So why the fuck did they decide to help him?

No, I’m serious, Rowan doesn’t tell us. If I was one of his cousins and this fucker showed up after betraying our queen and begged me to risk my own life and family to save him, I’d tell him to go fuck himself.

Is SJM fucking with us on purpose? Because none of this makes any sense. They have no logical reason to help Rowan at the risk of themselves, and I’d bet every cent I ever owned Rowboat won’t lift a finger to help any of his cousins after Maeve kicks them out.

SJM is a shitty writer. She’s worse than fucking George Lucas. That’s right, I said it, don’t fucking come @ me.

Maeve wouldn’t allow it. She’d wipe the Whitethorn line off the map for this.

If Rowboat’s cousin and his lover die because of this I am going to break something.

Anyways, Rowboat and the gang start winning because of fucking course they do, and Lorcan realizes Maeve isn’t actually on any of her ships, but on the same beach Elide was ordered to wait on. Well, duh, did you really expect Maeve to be that stupid?

The chapter is over, and oh my god less then 10 chapters..... I can do this, I can do this...........

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti eos #anti tog

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