#I still can't help but feel they should have found a better way than destroying it

[adaelines]

wrote this whilst i was playing re4 bc i couldnt stop looking at leon's arms and everytime he kicked an enemy i wanted him on his KNEES warning for smut! afab reader but gender neutral, public sex, he goes down on you whilst youre hiding from enemies, careful he spits, dom leon who lives for making you feel good

Leon always was prettiest on his knees. 

Wide, gunmetal blue eyes staring up at you, so full of love and adoration it’s almost overwhelming. The position and expression alone tells you how much he loves you, how much he wants to be on his knees for you. Despite his strength, just how easy it would be for him to overpower you and switch your positions, he still wanted nothing more than to be knelt before you, worshipping his lover the way he felt they deserved to be worshipped. He'd spend hours between your thighs, hours making you feel good, no matter the situation.

It's how you found yourself here. In the upstairs of a rough, almost destroyed house. You could hear the cultists downstairs, hear them searching for you both, and if either of you so much as moved you were terrified that they'd be alerted to your position above them. And yet Leon just couldn't help himself, not when you'd spent the last hour fighting and relying on one another to stay alive. It always riled him up, always made his heart beat fast and drool form under his tongue. Nothing got to him the way you did when you fought, when you protected him and he was able to protect you. 

The moment you were both alone, even when you technically weren't with the cultists downstairs still looking for you, he was immediately on you like you were his prey, like he'd been hunting you for hours and could finally go in for the kill. You should have known, with his smug little grin and the way he stood ever so slightly closer to you than usual, that something was going to happen. You just never thought you'd end up here, back against an almost broken wooden wall, the oh so powerful Leon Kennedy on his knees in front of you, looking up at you as if you had put the sun and moon in his sky. 

"Leon," you hissed, teeth gritted tight and the hand in his hair gripping onto him, "Are you serious? Do you want to get us killed?"

"C'mon, sweet thing, as if this would be a bad place to die," Leon's voice was low, full of a rasp that could only come from his desire from you. 

"Oh, in a random village in Spain full of cultists? Real romantic, Kennedy."

"From down here, I can't think of a better place," The grin on his face was wide, full of mischief, and you couldn't miss the way his eyelids fluttered when you gently tugged on his locks, nor could he miss the soft smile that briefly appeared on your face at his words. 

With a quiet sigh, you leant your head back against the wall, biting your lip.

"Fine, but please… make it quick, Leon, I'll fuck you properly once we're out of here, I promise," His grin only widened at your words, his hands quickly coming up to shove your pants down just enough for his face to fit. He didn't have the patience to fully remove them, once he saw your underwear, he couldn't wait any longer to dig his face as far as it would go, as close as he could be to your weeping core. 

With his nose pressed against the wet spot on your underwear, he couldn't help but let out a low moan. His eyes were shut, eyebrows furrowed like he was truly enjoying himself. Just by being this close, feeling your heat and smelling your wetness, his hips bucked up in his kneeling position, hands holding your thighs so tightly you thought they might bruise. He always did love leaving proof of his love on you, bruises of his hand and fingerprints left wherever he could. 

When you could feel his nose against your clit, feel the way he mouthed at the wet spot in your underwear like he was a man starved, you had to quickly bring the hand that wasn't in his hair up to cover your mouth. You didn't want to let go of him, but you also couldn't let yourself make any noise. It wasn't fair that a simple touch felt so good, not when anything above a quiet whimper would get you both caught, get you both killed. Leon didn't seem to care though, the way his hands rushed to shove your underwear down to join your pants around your thighs, the devious grin on his face proving that he didn't plan on stopping or slowing down any time soon. 

The way that Leon's tongue felt on your clit almost killed you, the hand in his hair tightening enough for him to let out a low groan against you, the hands on your hips tightening. Your other hand was still clamped tight over your mouth, keeping any noise you almost made at bay. This didn't make Leon happy though, even with cultists downstairs, he wanted to hear you as much as he could. One of his hands moved to the underside of your thigh, bringing it up over his shoulder as much as it could against the stretch of your pants. His grip was tight, holding you against him as close as he could, as if he wanted to become one with you, wanted to suffocate against you. Maybe he was serious about dying here, just by you instead of the people currently trying to kill you.

His tongue was quick against you, flattened so he could swipe from your hole to your clit. He took moments to focus on each, suckling on your clit and shoving his tongue into your hole as deep as he could. Eyes open now, he couldn't look away from your expression. He wanted to see everything, see you desperately try to keep your voice down, see you come apart simply from his mouth. It was always a beautiful sight, one that Leon held dear, making you cum was his favourite thing and nothing felt as good as knowing you felt good.

Pulling away slowly, Leon made sure to keep eye contact as he spat on your clit, grinning as he slowly watched it dribble down your cunt, onto your hole. He used his tongue before it could go any further, fucking it into you as deep as he could reach. If he couldn't cum inside you, he would have to do with at least knowing his spit was as deep as it could go, shoved inside you with his tongue and fingers, which he quickly brought to your hole when he started sucking on your clit once more. It was overwhelming, fingers in your hole and tongue on your clit, the hand in his hair was gripping so tight you'd have to apologise later, but trying to stay quiet when a man like Leon was giving you this much attention was hard, and you needed to focus on something. He always loved it when you pulled his hair anyway, so you knew he wouldn't complain at the sharp ache that it left on his scalp, not when you'd sooth it over with gentle touches later.

His touch and tongue were brutal against you, so harsh and so much that you could swear he was trying to kill you. When you let out a whimper that was slightly too loud, he pulled away, eyes stern as he stared up at you.

"Make a noise and I won't let you finish," His voice was just as stern as his gaze, but undeniably full of his need for you. Raspy and low, desperate. "Won't let you finish for a whole week. Won't you be good for me, pretty thing?" 

You couldn't help but whine at his words, lower and quieter this time, and the grin he gave was downright devilish. He gently patted your thigh, as if praising a dog, and pressed a gentle kiss on your clit before going back to the rough abuse he was giving it earlier. It wasn't fair, it was so much, and you were so close. Your legs were shaking, back arched against the wood and you swore your face was starting to hurt with the way you clamped your hand over your mouth. It'd be hard to explain just how you got a hand shape bruise over your mouth, but you couldn't care ar all. Not when Leon's mouth was about to make you cum, obvious in the way you were almost spasming against his hold.

"Cum for me, sweetheart, come on… want you to cum for me now…" voice quiet, almost a whisper but so so loud in your mind, all you could focus on. It wasn't a request anymore, he was demanding, almost a threat that dared you to not listen. His tone was serious, the one he used when he wanted you to know he meant business, would punish you if you didn't obey.

It wasn't hard either, not when his assault on your cunt was so focused, not when he knew every way to make you feel good and easily took advantage of it, when the thigh resting on his shoulder was tight against his cheek, the hand in his hair tight. You came with a muffled moan, head threw back and willing yourself to not scream with just how overwhelming everything was, grinding against Leon's face, using it for your own pleasure as you finished. He helped you through the orgasm, fingers and tongue slowing but not stopping, and when you pushed his head away out of sensitivity, he pressed one last kiss to your clit and gave you another devious grin.

''That's it, pretty, you're doing so good for me...''

He would absolutely be doing this again, and you would absolutely be getting him back for it.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #god the things i would do to this man.

[bloodscribed]

PROMPTS FROM VARIOUS LITERARY SOURCES.

I have not broken your heart — you have; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.

I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where the madness lies?

To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest.

When we set the carriage afire, her flesh will be roasted, her bones will be charred: she will die an agonizing death.

What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.

The bird fights its way out of the egg.

I have no right to call myself one who knows.

We who bore the mark might well be considered by the rest of the world as strange, even as insane and dangerous.

I have no idea whether parents can be of help, and I do not blame mine.

At one time I had given much thought to why men were so very rarely capable of living for an ideal. Now I saw that many, no, all men were capable of dying for one.

I will not make a gift of myself, I must be won.

Examine a person closely enough and you know more about him than he does himself.

One cannot apologize for something fundamental, and a child feels and knows this as well and as deeply as any sage.

The tree does not die. It waits.

Fate and character are different names for the same idea.

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

All theory is gray, my friend. But forever green is the tree of life.

I am not omniscient, but I know a lot.

Everything transitory is but an image.

One mind is enough for a thousand hands.

Man errs, till he has ceased to strive.

Words are mere sound and smoke, dimming the heavenly light.

But you will never know another's heart, unless you are prepared to give yours too.

The Devil's in the house and can't get out.

Men's wretchedness in soothe I so deplore.

To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.

It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.

Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.

When reason fails, the devil helps!

A hundred suspicions don't make a proof.

The man who has a conscience suffers whilst acknowledging his sin. That is his punishment.

The fear of appearances is the first symptom of impotence.

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

Have you ever heard of 'a genius who had been stuffed and preserved'?

Every day I am fated to die.

All the activities of life seem unbearably dull to me and I have renounced them.

 If you would be nice to me, I would gladly die for you this moment.

Having made an utter failure of my life, I found myself one day in the midst of my poverty and wretchedness, thinking about the female companions of my youth.

So, surrender to sleep at last. What a misery, keeping watch through the night, wide awake -- you’ll soon come up from under all your troubles.

Man is the vainest of all creatures that have their being upon earth.

There is a time for making speeches, and a time for going to bed.

For there is nothing better in this world than that man and wife should be of one mind in a house.

I swear by the greatest, grimmest oath that binds the happy gods.

Few sons are the equals of their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them.

#rp memes ;; #original memes ;; #roleplay prompts #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp meme #roleplay prompt

[swiftsdelucaa]

❛ 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Jo Wilson x f!reader ♡

𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙? Yes, by @itsdelicates-blog !

𝘼/𝙣: Again, sorry for the wait, hope you like it bella <3

"Yes, your surgery will be scheduled today" you repeated to your patient. For a moment she couldn't believe that, but then her face lit up. She was always so determined, at every step she never gave up. She was suffering from a cancer that would normally destroy anyone but her. She had a strength that everyone would envy, including you, it was hard to understand where it came from and you couldn't help but admire her. Sometimes she reminded you of Jo.

And finally today all his efforts could be reciprocated. You had followed her case for so long that you were happier than her. And to be honest this was absolutely the best thing of the day since everything has been just so shitty.

You couldn't wait to be a part of that surgery, after lunch you told everything to your girlfriend Jo, she knew about your patient too, so she was very happy for you. She was always so supportive for you in everything.

"Ok, I should go now" you said all elated. "I needed some joy in all this shit"

She smiled at you pressing a little sweet kiss on your lips. "Good luck baby" you gave her one of your best smiles before walking away.

The surgery had started. You started listing everything you knew, going step by step. It was quite difficult, everything was going well. But suddenly something went wrong. You didn't know what was happening, you didn't know why, all you knew was that you were pushed aside to proceed the attending who was with you. The sound of the monitor was the only thing playing in your head, until that sound became louder. The line went flat. You wished with all your strength that wasn't true, you weren't even able to declare the time of death. It was your patient, so you're your duty. But your body froze, and you said nothing. As soon as possible you left the room, you threw away your surgical gloves, your mask and everything else to get rid of that moment. You walked as fast as you could to get away from everything and everyone and find a place where you could be alone.

Jo knew you had been in the room for a long time, she had found time to manage to go and have a look in the gallery, but when she arrived no one was in the room anymore. The fact that it already ended and you hadn't told anything to her was weird, so she realized that unfortunately it hadn't gone as you hoped. She walked every hallway and checked almost every call room, until she found you.

You were sitting with your knees together and your head between them.

Seeing you like this was even worse for Jo, without saying anything she closed the door and came in sitting next to you. You tried to hold the tears but it was too difficult in that moment. She knew that words couldn't make you feel better now, so she just put an arm around your shoulders getting you closer and waiting for you to start venting.

"Why is everything so... wrong?" you said. "I- I do my best but... this is just so wrong..." your voice broke at the end. Jo held you more.

"How can we do this everyday? How?" You continued. "Every fucking day there's always something wrong, I just- I just don't know if I still can handle this..." at this point your tears increased. Jo placed her hands on your cheeks, turning your gaze towards her.

"Hey" she whispered. "Look at me. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, things are so unfair, I know. But we can't do anything to change it" she said softly drying your tears.

You looked at her, all those feelings and shitty moments and day you had were pouring out of you, you couldn't stop it.

"It really hurts. All this hurts in a way I can't stop" you said continuing to fret.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We can't stop that pain, we just have learn to live with it.." she gave you one of her sweetest smiles. "You're strong Y/n" you took a deep breath and dried away your tears. "Now you should go home and have some rest, ok?" she said. "I'll go with you" she helped you up.

"Thank you" you said softly still trying to calm yourself down. She smiled taking your hand.

"You don't have to thank me" she pulled her lips on yours softly before leaving the room together.

The two of you left the hospital together, going home. All this time Jo didn't leave you alone, you couldn't help but be grateful to her for being your girlfriend and for everything she did, you loved this girl more than everything else.

#jo wilson #jo wilson x reader #jo wilson imagines #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy imagine #fanfics #my writing #requests

[thedeathlysallows]

Is It Over Now? (7)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Aemma Velaryon

Summary: Say the one thing I've been wanting

Warnings: canon typical Targaryen incest. Smut. Aemond finally gets it wet lol. Dom!Aemond. Oral (f!receiving), female masturbation, breeding kink (because of course Aemond wants her pregnant asap), name calling, dirty talk. Warnings aren't exhaustive. Proceed with caution.

This one... ended up hella long, I'm not gonna lie. 2.5k words. Here's what I listened to for vibes and inspiration!

"Robert Tyrell is nowhere to be found," the King proclaims as morning drags into early afternoon. He sits on his throne, looking down at his family assembled before him. "His family offers no help, claiming their son simply vanished. We can't have a wedding without a groom, can we?"

You sit with your head down, feeling every bit as pathetic as you look. Robert must have heard about you and Aegon. That's the only thing you can come up with. Why else would he just disappear as he has? He knows his duty as well as you know yours.

"I'm sorry, Mother," you whisper. "This is all my fault."

"Nonsense." Rhaenyra's voice is sharp as Valeryian steel when she speaks. She holds her head high, allowing no weakness to shine through. "Clearly this was an unfit match."

Aegon scoffs. "Unfit. Cursed. Take your pick, sister."

"People are expecting a grand wedding." Alicent glares at Aegon from her spot beside her father. "What should we do, your majesty?"

Aemond steps forward, hands clasped behind his back. He shoulders are squared and he speaks with all the assurance of a second son. "I will take Robert Tyrell's place if it pleases the King."

The room erupts into chaos in an instant. Jace and Luke are yelling obscenities while Daemon and Rhaenyra plead with Viserys not to listen. Aegon screams at his brother, his throat going raw and his hands shaking with the effort of not hitting Aemond.

And you?

You take a step back from all of it, from all of them, and simply watch it all unfold.

Helaena steps beside you and loops her arm through yours. "They'll destroy themselves."

"Over a fucking wedding of all things." You can't hide the bitterness in your voice. "I'm sorry. About Aegon."

"Don't be. He's more of a brother to me than a husband. I like it that way." She tilts her head and looks up at you. "You were never going to marry Robert Tyrell."

You don't quite know what to say in response to that, so you pat her hand and say nothing.

"Enough!" Viserys' voice carries over the loud din of your family. He looks exhausted from the effort of being that loud. "I've decided Aemond will take the place of our runaway groom. Maybe this match will teach you all the importance of family and getting along."

Helaena gives you a look that seems to say see? I told you, but you aren't looking at her. You're eyes are glued to Aemond and the way he stares straight back at you. When you were younger you always joked that it seemed like he could look straight through a person's soul. Now you aren't certain it was actually a joke. Even with one eye missing it still feels like he's tearing the very essence of you open layer by layer as he stares at you.

Eventually, you find your voice and manage to say, "if it's the King's will then so be it."

"The children have more sense than the adults." Viserys stands, breathless and in pain. "Get these two to the sept before anyone else disappears."

The next few hours of your life are a blur. You couldn't remember most of it if you tried. Very few things manage to stick, but you can recall the anger on Aegon's face. He burns righteous and villainous in your mind. And your mother... she's devastated as she watches you dance with Aemond. Jace and Luke don't fair much better.

Yet, through it all, Aemond's face is what stands out the most. Because of course it does. Your new husband never leaves your side, his hands lingering at your waist or the small of your back as people celebrate around you. He's charming and lively beside you, but you can sense the burning just below the surface of his skin. His expression could almost be considered victorious as he looks at the assembled crowd. It confuses you and you try to store the thought away for later, but then Aemond looks down at you and presses his lips to yours.

He's soft and determined. Dornish wine lingers on his lips, but he's nowhere close to drunk.

You're his.

He succeeded.

Well, almost.

You will be after-

"The bedding ceremony!" Aegon slurs the words, taking a long drink from his cup before grabbing you by the arm. His grip is punishing. His fingers dig into your skin so painfully you'll be surprised if there aren't bruises in the morning.

There are jeers and whistles from the crowd as men and women surge forward. You're quickly separated from Aemond, a group of lords headed by Aegon dragging you to Aemond's chambers. They jostle and paw at the crushed velvet of your white dress. The fabric gives easily. The night air is cool against your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body.

In your panic you search for your mother, but you can't find her over Aegon's towering form. He leers down at you, wine stained lips lifted in a sneer. He's never looked at you with so much disdain before. It turns your stomach and leaves your blood running cold.

"Don't touch," Aegon snaps at some lord on your left as you feel fingertips brush against your arm. "Think you're good enough for a princess, Bolton?"

You don't hear the young man's reply. You don't hear much of anything honestly. It takes everything in you to pretend you aren't naked in front of the entire court, being escorted to your new husband's chambers by your uncle. You're feet stumble over the granite floor while your mind goes fuzzy. You can almost pretend this isn't happening.

Almost.

Until a set of familiar dark wooden doors are flung open in front of you and you come chest to chest with Aemond.

With your husband.

Women tug at his clothes, but he bats their hands away with a practiced ease that makes you wonder how many times he's done that before. He doesn't take his eyes off of you as he dismisses everyone.

Only Aegon lingers.

"Shall I test her maidenhood for you, brother? Will you believe me when no blood comes from between those pretty thighs?" Aegon wraps his fingers around your wrist and tugs you closer to him, knee nudging your thighs apart as he presses up into your core.

Aemond observes him with a bored gaze. "If you're finished causing trouble, I believe you have your own wife to tend to."

Aegon's face flushes and he hisses something under his breath in Valeryian that you can't quite make out. He releases you with one last glare leveled at Aemond before storming out. Presumably to his own chambers. Or maybe Flea Bottom.

You know it isn't your problem- it never has been- but you still feel you're heart tug painfully when you think about him drowning his sorrows in alcohol and whores.

"Did they hurt you?" Aemond's voice snaps you from your depressing thoughts and you turn your attention to him fully.

You rub your arm. "Only Aegon. But isn't that always how it goes?"

"He won't bother you any longer."

"You sound confident, uncle."

"I am... wife."

Aemond's expression turns fond when he says the word, his one good eye sparkling with mirth in the firelight. You hum softly and your gaze drifts to his other eye. Briefly, you wonder if you'll ever be brave enough to see what you and your brothers did. You aren't sure. Maybe one day you'll be brave enough to face the consequences fully, but for now you simply reach out and touch the jagged scar covering his face.

"I'm sorry," you say simply. It's not enough, but it's what you can think to offer right now. "I'm so sorry, Aemond."

Aemond's muscles tense instinctually when you touch his scar, and he has to fight the impulse to shove your hand away. But that's no way to start a marriage, is it? So he stands still as stone while your fingertips on his skin starts to feel less foreign. He lets you apologize to your heart's content.

"The past between us means little to me now," Aemond says when your babbling slows. "It's our future I'm concerned with."

You blink, surprised to hear him say that considering how antagonistic his relationships with your brothers is. "Oh?"

He smiles, one hand cupping the back of your head as his other grips your waist and pulls you flush against him. His lips press to yours in what starts as a gentle kiss. He works you up slowly, nipping at your bottom lip and teasing his tongue against your own. You melt into him with each stroke of his tongue.

"Fuck," He moans out as he pulls away.

You simper out his name and a quiet please as you press closer to him, growing desperate for more despite any previous misgivings. Aemond's hand moves from the base of your skull to your throat. His fingertips dig into your pulse point in warning.

"Don't," he tells you. "I've waited for this. For you. I'll take my time and you'll thank me for it, understood?"

You nod pathetically, his words sending a wave of arousal through you.

His hand drops from your hip to your ass and he smacks you once before turning you around a softly pushing you towards the bed. "On your back. Spread your legs for me."

You do as he says, flushing with heat at the way he licks his lips while taking your body in.

"You're beautiful," he mutters almost to himself. "Better than I ever imagined."

"You've imagined me naked?" You know you should probably be upset, but all you can manage to feel is a selfish sort of pleasure that he's dreamed of you before.

"Many times, lovely girl." Aemond kneels on the bed and puts each of your legs over one of his shoulders. His lips are wet and plush as he kisses his way from your calf to your thigh, nose nudging the soft curls of your cunt.

"What else have you imagined?" You're breathless when you speak.

Aemond smirks, enjoying the way you squirm in his grip. "Would you like to hear about one of my favorite dreams?"

"Y-yes."

He hums in reply, teeth digging into the skin of your thigh. "It's you. Just you. You're alone in your chambers, night shift sticking to your skin as you sweat in the summer air. It's so hot you can't take it and strip naked. Your hands find their way to your cunt, bringing you pleasure but no relief because deep down you know only I can save you."

Aemond's eye flickers from your hand to your cunt and he says, "let me see if it's like my dream. Touch yourself for me."

Your hand is shaky as you move it down your body. Aemond eats up every second eagerly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "That's it. Fuck, what a good girl you are."

"Aemond..." You say his name breathlessly, sighing in relief when your fingers meet your clit.

He watches closely as you toy with yourself, fingers dipping in and out of your wet core, arousal shining on your skin. You've never enjoyed getting yourself off, always preferring Aegon's help, but with the way Aemond watches you so intensely you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge of absolute pleasure.

"Don't cum," he tells you when he notices your movements getting sloppy. "Not without my cock inside you."

Aemond presses your legs back so your knees meet your shoulders. You readjust to the new position, looking down as he teases you with the tip of his cock. He's bigger than Aegon. Thicker too. His tip is flushed a pretty pink and you've never wanted something inside you more.

"Aemond, please," you cry out. You're wet and throbbing and desperate and so, so close.

His expression darkens. He had no plans to make you beg tonight, but it sounds so pretty that he just can't help but to switch tactics. You want his cock? You can beg for it like that desperate whore you are.

Aemond buries his face between your thighs, lapping at your juices. His tongue swirls around your clit before dipping between your folds and coaxing more arousal out of you. You scream, a sob wrenching itself out of your chest as your fingers slip into his hair.

"Please! Please, please, please!" You're pleading as loudly as you can. "Aemond, please!"

He pulls away just enough to look at you, his fingers taking over for his mouth. "Please what? Use your words and maybe I'll give it to you."

"N-no..."

"No?"

You let out another sob, tears of frustration pricking at your eyes. You're so fucking close.

And Aemond can tell.

The bastard.

"Aemond, please, I want..." You moan when his long fingers brush a spot inside you that has your walls flutter around him.

"You want lots of things don't you, lovely girl?" Aemond presses reassuring kisses to your face. "Focus. What do you want the most?"

"Y-you... inside me..."

"I am inside you."

"Your cock! I want your cock inside me! Please!"

Aemond's breath hitches. The only outward sign of his self control slipping from his grip. Hearing those dirty words come from your mouth makes his cock twitch in anticipation. You're such a good girl for him. He kisses you deeply as he presses his cock inside you, swallowing your moans with his tongue.

"Gods, yes," he moans when he's fully inside you. "You're cunt was fucking made to take me. I knew it."

You're crying now, feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated as he thrusts inside you. You swear you can feel him deep in your stomach. Maybe it's the angle. Maybe it's the fact that he's just that big. Whatever it is, you find yourself thanking the gods for it as he brushes up against that spot from earlier with each stroke of his cock inside you. You say his name over and over and Aemond thinks it's the sweetest prayer he's ever heard.

"You take it so well," Aemond praises as he brushes hair from your face. He watches as your breasts bounce with each snap of his hips. They'll be so full when he has his baby inside you. And fuller still when your milk comes in.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He wants you round and heavy with his child and he wants it now.

"Aemond," you moan out his name as you grasp his forearms, nails digging into his arm. The coil that's been building in your belly snaps and your eyes flutter shut as the orgasmic high washes over you. Your body turns to pudding and you sink further into the mattress.

Aemond watches your expressions with rapt attention, his own orgasm taking over when your walls clench around his cock. He slumps down on top of you and welcomes your absentminded petting.

"We're married," you say as if the realization just hit you.

"As we should be. You're meant to be mine."

You don't know what to say to that declaration, so you say nothing and hope the morning won't be awkward. You'd hate to lose Aemond a second time.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you

[laurrrelise]

i’m losing my mind over the fic stingers under skin by @saplesss-tree on ao3.

i go so feral for derek danforth for absolutely no intelligible reason at all and i literally cannot get enough of the fics written about him, but holy shit this one DESTROYS ME.

if you haven’t read it for the love of god PLEASE run don’t walk. (it’s about an alternate plot line where eloise doesn’t kill herself and adam kidnaps derek as a ransom to get the money he stole back!)

derek’s backstory is so sad and complicated and clay is so evil and self-righteous and i cannot explain how canon the writing seems, like genuinely, reading this feels like an extension of the movie. i don’t know how @saplesss-tree manages to write derek, adam, jessica, garnett, and eloise to be so on-point with their characters in the movie but i genuinely forget it’s just a fan fiction when i read it.

tree, literally just some of your talent would be nice, please and thank you 🙏🙏

i’m adding some (probably way too many, actually) of my favorite lines because i literally think about them way too much:

• “Don’t tell my mom, okay?” The driver didn’t answer, but one of his strong hands found Derek’s and clasped tightly. Held his hand with firm, steady reassurance as he drifted off.

• “Oh, fucking spare me. If you know who we are, then you know that the president of the United States does not pay ransoms. She does not negotiate with fucking terrorists or psychopaths or whatever the hell you call yourself--” “I’m a Beekeeper.” “Great. Fucking good for you. She doesn’t doesn’t negotiate with fucking beekeepers either. What are you going to do, sick a thousand bees on the US military?”

• “Whatever. And I’ll bet that’s real cheese,” Derek accused. “Yes, it is.” “I’m lactose intolerant, so fuck you.”

^ this line will never fail to make me laugh.

• “But once I receive payment, this little inconvenience will--” “Inconvenience,” Derek laughed humorlessly. “Guy fucking kidnaps me and calls it an inconvenience.”

• “Speaking of accommodations, five-star bathroom you’ve provided me here. You’re not even gonna give me a bucket or something? There are fucking dogs that live in better conditions than this.” “You can come upstairs to use the bathroom.” “Should I bring the fucking pipe I’m chained to with me, or does that stay here?”

• Derek frowned at a picture frame hanging on the wall. “It’s still got the stock picture in it.” Clay paused. “I liked the flowers.” And they stood there for a long moment. “Alliums,” he added eventually. “They’re very attractive for bees, butterflies, and other pollinators. Though, some alliums can spread too quickly and become invasive. It’s a fragile balance.” They continued to stand there. Derek shifted his weight from one leg to the other and said, “yeah. The, uh, the purple is pretty cool.” Clay regarded the stock image seriously and nodded. “Yes,” he agreed, “the purple is cool.”

• "It's just awful, isn't it?" Eloise asked, wiping her hands on a rag and shaking her head. "That poor boy." "Never thought that about him before when all those scandals came to light," Clay said, but kept himself from being too harsh. "How many times has he thrown money at what should've been a jail sentence?" "Oh, he's just lost." Clay tilted his head at her. "How do you mean?" "Exactly what I said. He's just lost. I can't speak to the way he was raised, but I see all the bad things that end up in the media about him, and I see someone acting out for attention. I see a boy crying for help."

^ oh my god just let me sob right now.

• "Do you want to come upstairs and use the bathroom?" Derek peeled his eyes open and looked at Clay. "I want to carve into your face with a dull knife and crack your skull open with a rock. I want to put my bare hands into your head and just pull everything out. I want you to fucking scream." A beat. “Okay, so you still have a headache?”

• "I fucking hate you," Derek said, voice wavering. "I know you do. Come on, come take a bite."

• Clay took the cigarette, placing it tenderly on Derek's bottom lip, allowing him to take the thing into his mouth. Clay produced a small lighter from his pocket and lit the cigarette. On the first breath, Derek melted. Eased into Clay's hug and sighed with a kind of relief he didn't know it was possible to feel. Being rescued right this second wouldn't have felt as good. More tears.

^ i don’t know what it is, but something about the way that clay is so gentle and nurturing with derek (not always, but most of the time) even though they despise each other gets me right in the heartstrings. their physical intimacy despite literally wanting the other to die brutally will never not hurt. tree is a genius, end of story.

• “I thought ginger was only for between servings of different kinds of sushi to cleanse your pallet.” Clay stared for a moment. “We live very different lives.” “You fucking think?”

• Exhaustion won over the little part in the back of Derek’s mind that cowered like a threatened, wild animal. Derek blew out a breath and turned his head toward Clay. “I don’t believe you. It feels like you want to hurt me.” They held each other's gaze for a long time, no sound passing between them besides their breaths. “Sometimes,” Clay allowed eventually. “But only when you’re being difficult.” Clay rubbed his forearm. “Biting me. That’s no way to behave.” “You fucking kidnapped me.” “I know, but you don’t have to be such a brat about it.”

• “That’s like if I told you ‘you don’t need to breathe anymore,’” he muttered. “‘Just learn to breathe underwater because I fucking said so,’ and, ‘I’m the one with the oxygen tank. Just stop fucking breathing air.’”

• “You don’t know how to shave your own face?” Derek’s brows drew together, voice defensive. “I’ve never needed to know how before.” Clay studied him for a long moment, some mixture of disbelief and maybe sadness there in his eyes. “Nobody’s ever taught you how to do anything for yourself, have they?” A boy crying for help. Maybe there was something to Eloise’s words.

^ STOPPPP STOP IT RIGHT NOW

• The grin spread across Derek’s face completely involuntarily. And it was infectious. “I did it.” “Yeah, you did it,” Clay chuckled. “Fuck yeah!” Derek pumped his fists, buzzing trimmer still in hand. “Damn, and I didn’t even cut myself. Fuck, I did that.”

• “We’re going to clean you up around the edges here on your cheeks, your neck, and,” Clay rubbed a finger along the side of Derek’s jaw, “whatever silly sideburns you’ve got going on here.” He rubbed his palms down the sides of his face. “They’re not silly.” “You don’t actually want to keep those do you?” “Well now I fucking don’t with the way you just said that.”

• “Look, I know you’ve really never approved of the guys that Derek--” “My problem is not with my son’s sexual preferences, my problem is with you personally, Mr. Garnett,” she said.

• “Madam president, with all due respect, I don’t fucking care what happens to me, as long as Derek gets home safely.”

• He had Eloise. He had the boy in his basement, who he occasionally didn’t hate. And it hit Clay suddenly that the hive was growing.

• It pissed Derek off. It wasn’t just the drugs and self-indulgent habits and social media obsession. Clay had forcefully detoxed him from his entire life. From himself. And he was better for it.

^ THIS LINE FUCKING KNOCKS THE WIND OUT OF ME. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

• “I don’t fucking know anything about you except for your bee fetish.”

• Well, I’ve got Wallace. He’s kinda like my-- I don’t know-- my protection detail, bodyguard, babysitter, pain in my ass, conscience guy.” “So he cares about you.” “He works for me.” Derek shrugged. “Well, and, to be perfectly honest, I think he’s fucking my mom…” “Oh.”

^ again, i will never not laugh at this line

• “Like, you picked the worst possible hostage ever. I’m such a fuck-up, there’s zero motivation for anyone to pay my ransom.”

• “You are a defective offspring,” Clay said. “Wow, okay fuck you,” Derek replied.

• “It’s not wholly your fault,” Clay continued. “You were born broken because of her. You’ve never had a chance to be anything more than broken, and you never will. When a queen bee produces defective offspring, we rise up and slay her. Ordinarily, I'd kill your mother for bringing a wretched thing like you into this world, but that money-- the ransom-- it’s the money you stole from a dear friend of mine.”

• “Do it,” Derek said, voice quiet and almost as shocked as the expression Clay sent his way. He cleared his throat. “Fucking do it. I want her to fucking agonize over every second she leaves me here with you. I want the guilt to eat her alive until she either coughs up the money or kills herself.”

• "You're all right, just sitting you up a little." And Clay cushioned Derek's head in his lap, letting the boy use his thighs as his new pillow as Clay looked down at him.

• Made him hate the stairs and hate this house and hate himself for not being able to move properly and hate his mother for leaving him here. And Clay for… something. Derek had had the beating coming to him-- had literally asked for it-- so not that. But he was pretty sure he hated the guy for something. Hating Clay for kidnapping him just seemed too understated. Hating the man for kidnapping him didn’t do justice to all of the other things he could hate him for. It was like there was so much anger and aggression and fear and resentment surrounding Derek’s perception of Clay that he couldn’t even hate him.

• "You got it?" "I'm a grown fucking man, I don't need you to hold my dick for me while I piss." "There's no need to be crass," Clay said, backing off. "Fuck you."

• Maybe Mom really wasn't as much of an unfeeling, soulless bitch as he'd expected.

• “I fucking hate you,” Derek said quietly. Trying to remind himself. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” “I've never hated anyone more than I hate you,” he said again. Drilling it home for his tired, aching heart. “But I've never been more real with someone either. I think that might be part of it, maybe.” Clay squeezed Derek’s shoulder, loosening another tear in the boy. “What do you mean?” “I just… hate myself, you know?” His voice a mere whisper. “And being myself around you, it makes me hate you too.” Clay hummed solemnly. “You’re a very angry young man.” “Yeah, well,” Derek cleared his wobbling voice, “I’ve got a lot to be angry about. Even if I went home right this second, I think I’d still find myself up in that glass box.”

• The hand carded through his hair again. Goosebumps prickled on the back of his neck, down his back, and along his arms. Against every instinct screaming at him to pull away, Derek leaned into the touch. Not because the gentle, rhythmic motion of fingers raking gently along his scalp was comforting. Not because it was the first genuine distraction he'd had from the relentless headache and the throbbing hurt throughout his face. And definitely not because he couldn't remember the last time someone had tenderly run their fingers through his hair like this.

^ again with the physical intimacy i’m going to jump off a cliff

• “And I want real shampoo and conditioner. Your three-in-one shit is ruining my hair, I don’t know why you use that stuff.” Derek felt the soft vibrations of Clay’s nearly inaudible chuckle. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he said, brushing a few curls out of Derek’s face, “but I don’t have nearly as much hair as you.” “Oh… right.”

• Sitting down next to the mattress, Clay sighed. Ran his fingers through the young man’s messy, tangled curls. “You know, I think you’re the only one that appreciates what I’m trying to do here,” Clay told him. “Under all your disobedience and profanity and needless crying, I think you’re the only one that really gets what we’re doing.”

• “Are you watching me sleep?” Derek rasped, voice sleep-laden. “No,” Clay answered softly. “The fuck are you doing then?” “I was telling you about my day.” Derek’s mind took a few moments to catch up. “While I was asleep?” “You’re a much better listener when you’re asleep.” “Okay, well fuck you too, I guess,” Derek muttered.

• “If something happens… would you visit me?” Clay asked. “In prison, I mean. Would you come visit me?” Derek lowered himself on the mattress, rested his head on the pillow, reeling. “Yeah, sure.” The words escaped without Derek really thinking about it. And he was almost surprised to realize he meant it.

• “You surprised me earlier. You almost sounded like you wanted to live, or at least like you were trying to want that.” Clay flipped to the next page. “I thought I’d let you try and figure it out for a little while longer.”

• "It's such a sure thing, the sun," Clay said. "Every evening it sets, leaving with a colorful, beautiful goodbye. Almost like it doesn't want to go. And every morning it returns with just as much enthusiasm. It's something you can always count on." There was a lengthy pause where neither one of them said anything, and Clay was the one to break it. "There will always be another tomorrow, whether you're there or not. But dead men can't watch sunsets."

alright i think that’s enough (but if given the avenue i could continue this even more trust me) anyways again PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read this fic if you haven’t already, 8 chapters are out so far and they’re all of very generous length.

the way it delves into derek’s backstory, the way he grew up and was treated by his mother, the way he’s reduced to a little boy (and is repeatedly called “the boy”) because of the way he was forced to grow up too soon, the way he acts as a defense mechanism, oh my god i could ramble forever it makes me so sympathetic to him even if he’s a douchebag idc idc i love him.

im so emotionally attached to this fic and im literally on the edge of my seat to know how it ends (especially with the way chapter 8 ended, tree you knew EXACTLY what you were doing 🤬)

anyways here it is please read it thank you 🙏🙏

#derek danforth #the beekeeper #holy shit. words could not describe my love for this fic #i’m so deadass #josh hutcherson #jhutch #jhutch1992

[astrolavas]

What do you consider to be the “big plans” for Hunter? I was expecting it to be something along the lines of him used as a vessel for Belos/the day of unity magic or are we just saying that the big plans were a lie to make him compliant and so Belos could have a soldier?

pretty sure there were no big plans. it was just a way for belos to manipulate hunter further, make him listen, make him think he has a specific use, that he's "special" therefore should be more worried abt disappointing belos. he never even spoke to the titan but because he was thought to speak to the titan, he even used that to make hunter more loyal to him. "titan has big plans for you" as a way to make him more dependable, more under pressure, easier to mold into what belos wanted him to be. and it's.... oof, yeah

there wasn't even any big reason for him to make grimwalkers. like, sure, they were useful as his little helper assistants, but besides that? he was creating them from his own selfish desires. he was mad that his brother, upon coming to the demon realm, realized they were all wrong about witches, and grew to like magic as well; and then he fell in love with a witch, and with this place. belos felt "betrayed" by him so not only did he kill him, he made it his own personal mission to just..... keep creating clones of him. versions of his own brother that would be better.

he wanted to have a version of caleb that he could make actually listen to him, actually do what he was told and.. yeah. he never saw any of the grimwalkers he'd created as people of course, just as these...... things that he could make and then destroy for any reason with no repercussions or feelings involved whatsoever.

i'm pretty sure he realized that making a grimwalker that wouldn't "betray" him wasn't possible after the first few tries, though, because, at their core, every single grimwalker was a good person. like i'm sure they weren't all identical copies of each other, each one differed in some ways, but we DO know every single one of them decided to betray belos after finding out what he was actually like, that he was evil. we see that goodness in hunter too, we see that the thing that he'd always wanted was to just... do good; and that's what he'd thought he was doing, all his life, he'd thought he was helping belos do sth good as well (obviously..... not the case but OOF LMAO). and we know belos thought hunter would last longer than the others, maybe because of just how loyal and devoted he was, because of how assured he was of the fact that belos actually cared for and loved him; but belos still knew he'd question and betray him eventually. because they all do when they find out the truth, and he knows he can't change it.

also even the fact that belos planned the day of unity, and still gave hunter the sigil. like hunter could turn out to be the most "loyal" and "perfect" grimwalker ever, never question belos, remain at his side through it all, and that wouldn't matter, belos was going to leave him for dead for the day of unity no matter what. he'd just..... DIE. belos knew that when he was putting the sigil on him all those years ago and didn't care. he knew he wouldn't need him after.

so yeah, uh, belos creating grimwalkers stopped having any sense or end goal or a reason really, really quick. he started treating it as this weird, entertaining experiment he was doing on the side; and all the manipulation, lying, the control he had, the power to shape all the grimwalkers into who he wanted them to be, into someone who’d think belos loves them but be subconsciously terrified of him anyway? he found it all FUN, he was having a great time! and then, to add onto that, look at how his demeanor changes when luz sees through him in elsewhere and elsewhen, or how he acts in hollow mind. not only does he love manipulating people, he enjoys seeing them piece it all together. he loves the shock, the surprise on their faces; he feels superior that he’d managed to fool them for so long, he feels in control of the situation. so i’m convinced that every single time a grimwalker questions belos, he finds both that and the aftermath (which is..... killing them in a quick yet brutal way) entertaining, pleasant. no reason for it all except getting some enjoyment out of it.

i hate him

#jxjsksk YEAH UH... YEAH. this is a bit longer than i'd thought it would be but yeah lol #nicole answers #toh spoilers #??? #the owl house #bluefaewren #my toh talk

[sandrayprotector]

Ray from the perspective of an addict and mentally ill person

TW // addiction, death, depression, self-harm, drug abuse

Addiction from the POV of a [former] addict (prescription medicine, alcohol, deodorant, self-harm) and the parallels to Ray and his behavior.

I'll be totally open and vulnerable here, I'll be honest about my experiences and about the pros and cons which I have lived through. And I will be drawing the parallels between my former behavior and how Ray acts and pointing out why he might act certain ways and I'll give you the POV of someone who lost a loved one to addiction as well.

So please proceed with caution ⚠️

What is addiction? When does it start?

Clinically there is a perfect definition for that. It is an illness (yet many don't seem to view it as that)

But personally I can't really tell you the moment, the one thing that made me realize I'm an addict.

It's a slow process and that's making it so hard to realize.

I've been on ADHD meds since i was 7 years old, hence didn't really have the chance of a sober life from the start. I was misdiagnosed, the ADHD pills didn't really do much for me other than make me addicted and give me a cushion that wrapped me, shielding me from my own feelings.

Once that cushion was taken away from me, I spiraled. I was 11 years old. I tried to find something new, something to deal with my newly found emotions, something to deal with some trauma I've experienced in that time and I started abusing ibuprofen(which I found In my parents drawer) and started self-harming (which as well can be classed as addiction).

I started drinking when I was 12, black out drunk the first time when I was 13, the same time I started smoking cigarettes. As I said, I never really had a sober life. At age 14 I started using deodorant, the spray ones, inhaling the toxines. It helped me - for 30 minutes. Deodorant is so, so dangerous you can die, the first time you're using it. It's not some soft drug or anything it's life threatening and 4 of my friends went into the hospital because of it. I was "lucky" enough it never happened to me, maybe it should have maybe I had stopped.

At age 15/16 my excessive alcohol consume finally caught the eye of my little brother, begging me to stop come home pissed drunk nearly everyday. I didn't listen, I thought I had everything under control or didn't want to admit I fell in a rabbit hole. I was on 4 different anti-depressants at that time, the addiction already had taken a toll on me, and my mental health declined further. Anti-depressants and Alcohol are a toxic combination, it wasn't a very bright time.

This went on until I was 18 and had it's peak when I was 19, living alone with my boyfriend (at that time) for the first time in my life. Waking up, drinking 1 Liter of box red wine, smoking a cigarette, taking my pills, go out, drink more, abuse deodorant, pass out, repeat. In between self-harm was still something I used to control my feelings. and I don't really have many memories of that time it's all just a big blur. My family and friends had distanced from me for a while at that point. I was a burden, didn't listen to them, began being verbally violent towards them and even physically violent at some point. I was a horrible person.

I had a turning point when I turned 20, I found a person willing to put up with me, reaching their hand out to me, willing to help and destroy themselves in the run. Well it wasn't all sunshine in the beginning we abused alcohol and w33d together, getting high almost everyday, it was like a ritual for both of us. The only positive outcome was that my self-harming became less and less over time. I stopped using my anti-depressants (never NEVER do that like me without going to a doctor). And my life seemed to get better.

I started getting horror trips from the w33d and stopped using it. I started to get pretty heavy hangovers from the alcohol my body was at a point where it began to crumble. And finally, my mind snapped and I realized I needed to change ( after having lost almost all my friends and family) after destroying my body to a point where I still to date have problems. I was 22 at that point.

I got into therapy and worked my way out.

I'm still an addict, I still think about almost all the time. When i drink alcohol it's very hard to stop myself from over-drinking, I still self-harm, still take more ibuprofen than prescribed but I'm good, as far as i can be. Addiction is hell, it's messing up your life and leaves you with a blur of memories that don't feel like they're yours. It takes a toll on your body and mind. It's really like burning in hell fire.

The POV of someone who lost a loved one to addiction

I was 13 when my first love overdosed on heroin. He was the very first person who genuinely showed me love, told me I was perfect the way I was.

I got to know him when I was 11, after I was assaulted in a Park. He was 12 at the time, turning 13 shortly after.

He already was smoking and drinking when I got to know him. And looking back it seems that we spiraled together, he fell harder than I did.

He used weed for the first time on his 13th birthday. and on his 14th birthday he was already addicted to Heroin.

We had great times together, I loved him unconditionally. We weren't together (we never got together) but we cared for each other deeply. It was a love on another level something that only comes once in a lifetime.

He changed. Not only his looks ; he got more skinny, his eyes (beautiful eyes, so beautiful) were sunken in, his skin was ashy etc. But his personality changed as well. He was still a wonderful person, still caring, still the perfect boy (in my eyes). But he was careless, his life didn't seem to mean much to him anymore. He was rarely sober, rarely able to stand or walk straight. He was tired all the time, and if he was on turkey ( withdrawal) he became unbearable, even violent at times.

It was heaven and hell being close to him. Like Ikarus burning his wings on the sun honestly. And I was only a child as well, I was only 11, 12, 13...

You can only do so much when someone you love struggles with addiction and I was an active addict myself, even though I wasn't aware of it at that time. I was a heavy drinker, self-harmed. We were so toxic for each other, so, so toxic.

And the sad part was that no one noticed. No one noticed us spiraling, his fresh needle marks in the arms. Or they turned a blind eye, kept telling themselves that everything was alright, I don't know.

His aunt (he didn't live with his parents) saw him as burden, told him he was a burden to her and her family. He took that to his heart. He often cried because he asked himself what he did wrong to be treated like that. We (me and his best friend) didn't have an answer for him.

When he turned 16, I didn't know that it would be the last birthday we would be celebrating together - only 3 days later he was dead. He only had the chance to be 16 for 3 days. 16 years and 3 days. I knew him for 3 years and 2 weeks.

I found him. He overdosed in a dirty bathroom, all alone. There was no one there to help him. And I blame myself till now (14 years later) that if I had arrived just a few minutes earlier, if I had slept over like I had promised the day before, he would still be here.

I've never been to his grave, I didn't go to his funeral. I physically can't.

I miss him so damn much, every day.

And the worst is that not even that stopped me from my addictions, it didn't make me realize that I was slowly approaching the same fate. I would say it made it worse, on my 14th birthday I smoked weed for the first time, 2 month after his death. And I only spiraled from there.

He wasn't the best and most loyal friend. He was an idiot at times, angry and violent at others. He stole multiple times from me, because he didn't have enough money to feed his addiction. He picked fights, randomly without reasoning and very uncalled for.

But he was my idiot. Mine. Maybe I can't be objective when talking about him. Maybe my lingering feelings want me to see him in a better light.

I did suffer a lot in this friendship, wanted to call it quits often. I even told him once or twice that he's destroying me, but I won't ever leave him.

I found a letter after I found him. I still keep that letter. "Princess, I needed to die so you can live." i never hated him more than in that moment. But now that I'm an adult, I understand that maybe he was right.

I'm sorry for rambling, sorry for making you read this confession/cry idk what to call it.

I loved an addict, I loved a wonderful boy who took one false turn. I lost an addict, I lost the shell of the wonderful who Nico once was.

Parallels between my experience/behavior and Ray's in only friends

Okay let's look at Ray's background.

The first parallel I want to point out is Trauma.

Ray's Mother's Death - drinking to death

In my case it was a friend overdosing in front of my eyes, I found him just like Ray did with his mother

I was 11 turning 12, I think Ray was around that same age, maybe a year or 2 older.

My friend died age 16 with a needle in his arm. Addiction and death don't know age.

Okay so, 1st point, experiencing trauma at a young age.

2nd from what I saw Ray didn't really get help with his trauma, just the same as me, driving him to depression (more severely). If you have no help, especially at that age, you WILL spiral

3rd :

Your friends start to distance themselves (which is their right in some way)

My friends dealt with me the same ways Ray's friends deal with him. They tried, they really did try to help me, but they were just teenagers/young adults themselves

You can't expect someone that age to help an addict.

BUT what they and my friends could've done, would be sending us to a psych ward, you can do that if it's a life threatening situation, which Ray is in and which I was in as well.

4th

Anger issues when being drunk.

Most of the time we see Ray as this cute puppy with big eyes, but the moment he drinks, he has violent tendency.

Which I can just say I did as well. Alcohol doesn't numb you, it brings your feelings to the surface

Feelings you've bottled up deep inside, trying to numb them with other things (in Ray's case probably c0c4ine, in my case deodorant)

5th

Being clingy to strangers

this may surprise you but I can totally get why Ray clinged to Sand after he helped him that one time.

You're just such a sucker for human interaction, physical touch, feeling worthy, you really don't care from where you get it

In my case even though I am asexual I slept around a lot at that time, trying to get that little bit of love no one could give me

And seeing how Ray acts, it's the same for him as well

6th

Manipulation

Yes Ray is manipulative, not in the way Boston is, but still.

He knows how to get what he wants and knows exactly what to do to reach his goal.

As an an addict your life basically becomes a lie at one point or the other.

You lie to yourself, the people around you, and sometimes even build your own world in which you can enable yourself.

And all of that while being 40% aware of what you're doing (Ray knows exactly how to get Sand to do what he wants)

7th

Playing it down

"Just for the little sip"

"I'm a light weight"

"I'm not that drunk"

Constantly playing down the severity of the problem is something I did as well and we've seen it from Ray more than once.

8th

crying for help but don't actually want help

Ray not once but multiple times basically cried for help, not only the obvious (bathtub scene) but the time when he told Sand why his mother died, just when he poured alcohol, the times he claimed he's just a burden and so on. All of those are indirectly cries for help, yet no one notices.

And I promise even if they would try to help, Ray would just turn it down. Because why would he want to lose something that helps him get through life.

I was the same

Addiction isn't black and white. It's often Grey. Addiction can be your best friend and worst nightmare.

Addiction isn't something you can battle alone, and the battle will never stop.

It's even more dangerous if you have other mental issues as well

Ray definitely suffers from depression and maybe a personality disorder. Anxiety could also be a possibility, that guy is severely sick.

As in my case I have a few diagnosis, borderline, anxiety and depression being the most severe.

Being in Ray's shoes is not an easy walk. It's exhausting, it's pulling you down. And I can totally relate to his su1cidal tendencies because I was at that point more than once as well.

It's hell being an addict, even more so when your whole social bubble basically enables your behavior (Ray's Friends do that, mine did as well)

And it's so easy pulling everyone down the hole with you. Everyone will burn themselves on you, they will get hurt.

You can't expect a healthy relationship to someone with a severe addiction, they're toxic and they will kick you out of your comfortable life.

But they're sick and they need help, not beating them down when they're already on the ground.

I hope I could give you a little more insight and if you have questions please don't shy away and ask me whatever you want 🥺🥰

You're worthy, you're strong, you're amazing, I'm proud of you and wish you nothing but the best in life

#khaotung thanawat #gmmtv #bl drama #firstkhaotung #only friends the series #sandray #ray only friends #addiction #mental health #mental illness #awareness #thai bl

[vickyvicarious]

"Then I had a vague memory of something long and dark with red eyes, just as we saw in the sunset, and something very sweet and very bitter all around me at once; and then I seemed sinking into deep green water, and there was a singing in my ears, as I have heard there is to drowning men; and then everything seemed passing away from me; my soul seemed to go out from my body and float about the air. I seem to remember that once the West Lighthouse was right under me, and then there was a sort of agonising feeling, as if I were in an earthquake, and I came back and found you shaking my body. I saw you do it before I felt you."

Lucy's out-of-body experience is really interesting to me, especially following on the heels of a kind of sinking/drowning feeling. Namely... she first suffers under the assault of Dracula, despite the 'sweetness' and 'music' that perhaps helps keep her somewhat calm.

But then she feels like her soul leaves her body. This phrasing doesn't feel like a mistake. The big fear about vampires is that they won't just kill you, they'll taint you. Your soul will be forfeit. The first mate of the Demeter jumped overboard and drowned rather than face this fate, and Jonathan struggled with his desire to survive and his fear of being corrupted like the monsters around him should he fail (the death by wolves option was a high stakes bet that could save his soul from them but also might be tantamount to suicide which would still damn it; choosing to live longer as their captive meant just picking another risk).

So in this context, where becoming a vampire destroys/steals/corrupts your soul - and where becoming a vampire requires being fed upon by one - Lucy's little soul trip over the harbor is deeply alarming.

As he drank from her, her soul became untethered from her body. And when Mina brought it back by interrupting the feeding and shaking her awake, Lucy described the experience as "a sort of agonising feeling." Something painful at first, like the body she'd briefly left now was not as good a fit anymore. Not as pure, in a way.

Can't imagine that gets any better, the more he drinks.

#dracula daily #my meta #dracula meta

[shearlin]

Inspired by this post by @thatonedragongirl and addition by @bokettochild

I also feel like FD does not completely take control, but is such a strong presence, that it overwhelms the user after a extended / repeated use, to the point of losing a sense of self.

However, I always hc that FD mask is a cursed object and behaves as such. It warps the perception of user, yes, but it also warped the Fierce Deity himself. Just like putting a power of divine in a mortal vessel would never end well for the mortal in question, smushing a god in a tiny piece of wood would not end well for the deity.

I hope you don’t mind a little drabble about this concept about FD influence and my understanding of it.

Fierce Deity was powerful. Was.

It was centuries, millennia ago, when his power was stripped, cramped and forced into a piece of wood, trapping him in a plaything, a mask. A thing to be used like a tool.

But he did not fade like they hoped nor he subdued to their will. He was a god. He lingered, observed, adapted. He would not be defeated that easily.

They took his body and freedom. They wanted to play gods, when they were at war. They made a mistake and paid for it. But it did not end his imprisonment. The cycle continued. Someone found the mask, put it on and then break under his will. Over and again.

But that was a past long gone. His current wielder was different. Treated him with respect and fear like he should. He would not mind a vessel like that. His mind and magic was strong and his spirit was touched with Her divine light. Fierce Deity did not expect the fragile child that found him to become quite the man he is now, but it was only for the better.

Every time the hero put on the mask that hold his power he would whisper his guidance, pour his power into him, making him a true avatar of his might. Fighting like this felt right. Fighting both to protect and destroy. Even if he was not free. He helped when he was called and it was almost enough.

But if he could convince him to leave it on, to let him handle it, that he would take care of it... After all, who was better to wield a power of a god than the divine it belonged to?

It would be easier. It would be painless.

His wielder would not have to be hurt, ever again. Even if the hero thinks he could do it alone. The deity has chosen and laid his claim.

Fierce Deity would never be free. But this is still his. And he'll be damned, like the curse they called him, if he let anyone take it away.

---

Time didn’t know what to think of the Fierce Deity mask. It scared him. It sickened him. It drew him in. It gave him strength and power. He needed it.

Putting it on felt... intoxicating. There was nothing - and he meant nothing - that could stop him when he put it on. He could protect everyone like this. His home, his wife, his boys, everyone.

He could also kill everyone like this. After all, Fierce Deity had no reason to hold back. No reason to stop his blade.

And every time he put the cursed mask on, Time could feel he had less and less reason to as well. It was freeing in a sense.

It was terrifying.

He vowed to never put it on unless absolutely necessary. He was long past the time, when he thought he would be able to let it go completely. When he tried to fool himself he had it under control.

One day, the gentle pulls and whispers would turn to shoves and commands that can't be ignored. One day, the overwhelming presence that felt in equal part comforting and threatening, would be too inviting to stop. One day, he would lose himself in the sweet song of power and the rush of never-ending fight.

The worst part? He knew. It was already happening. And yet, there was no way on Farore’s green earth he could let go now. He knew, but he didn't care anymore. He was not sure when he stopped.

There would always be someone stronger that him that endanger everyone. An evil that he would not be enough to defeat. Ganondorf still lives in his Hyrule. Moon was still on the sky, ready to plummet. You just never know when you might need some extra help. So the mask stays in his pouch ready to be used, humming with power both cursed and divine.

Fierce Deity had him in his clutches, marking his face and purring in his mind, promises of easy victory and safety for those he loved.

And Time was terrified how easily it was to accept that as true.

#linked universe #it could be just for OoT and MM #but I'm thinking about it specifically in the context of LU and how it would play with that setting #How much influence FD has over the user of his mask depends on their magic willpower and how much their goal aligns with FD role as a god #in my hc FD used to be a god of war - yes - but in a aspect of protection #so anyone using his power to win a war would have his favor but whoever would fight to protect would have his //blessing// #So strong magic users - like Hyrule - or someone with strong will - like lets say Sky - or with a strong drive to protect - like Twilight #would have easier time resisting the overwhelming pressure from FD #I would say that every hero can resist FD pull for at least a while varying in how long they can do it #with Time having quite low tolerance because of extended use #at the same time FD himself does not want to take control over anyone it just happens because he was turned into a curse #and he spend such a long time as a cursed mask that he didn't even noticed when his rage and longing for freedom turned into #a possessive need for a suitable vessel

[itshermocrates]

Idk if this will be a very unpopular opinion or even something problematic but I just read some takes about Aziraphale choosing Heaven and not Crowley because that's the best for the world, so he is choosing the greater good before his own happiness, and I'm so sorry but I completely disagree with this

I don't think Aziraphale thought about what was best for the world at all, I'm 100% with Crowley when he says that Aziraphale doesn't know what he is choosing because in his mind, there was no in depth analysis about what could actually be the best decision for humanity.

Aziraphale said it himself, he said that Heaven is good, it's truth, is the best option, it always have been in his mind, and if he hadn't returned to Heaven any sooner it was only because he did not have the chance.

He has always thought that Heaven was better than Hell, that angels were better (coughs superior coughs) than demons, he was convinced of this when he was in Heaven and even afterwards, the idea was still too deeply rooted on his mind to be completely gone. Aziraphale found it very hard to see Heaven's wrongs and the only person who was capable to notice them was Crowley, who well, yeah, is a demon, but not like that.

While Crowley discovered Heaven's faults with his own very fall (let me remind you he fell because he dared to ask why all the creation should be destroyed despite being so young), and refused to be part of the system following blindly all of its rules and commands, Aziraphale has not seen these faults yet. He still sees Heaven as the good guys, the morally superior side of the coin. He still sees demons as the bad guys, even if Crowley has presented him a wide scale of grays.

This black and white worldview is what is holding him back. He still believes that Heaven can do no wrong, while Crowley can no longer ignore the truth, how both sides are equally bad for humanity, and therefore none of them is a good choice at all.

When Crowley says "You can't leave this bookshop."

Yeah, he's talking about them (you can't leave me), but he's also talking about all the good things they've done on Earth as "neutral agents", not an angel working strictly under Heaven's commands or a demon following Hell's orders. The bookshop is the place where they meet, but also their "home base", the place to return as they keep working "on their own" with Humanity's best interests in mind, and only that.

Crowley is trying to make him see that he's leaving a life in which they could simply work for what they considered to be truly right together. It feels more like a "you can't stopping helping them" "you can't stop doing what it's needed to be done" "you can't leave them" "you can't leave me".

And when Aziraphale responds "Nothing lasts forever."

It's just another proof of this black and white mentallity he can't scape. The bookshop was just a replacement for Heaven, something that made him feel like he was still part of the good guys, even if he technically wasn't anymore. The bookshop was just a stage he needed to overcome between his exile and his return to Heaven, not something he truly wanted to mantain for himself.

Aziraphale never lost his faith in Heaven, he never felt the disappointment Crowley felt and never saw it as it truly was. He still believes in what Heaven symbolizes, and is not capable of fully questioning it yet.

When he talks about changing things, he's not even aware of all that it is to change or how deeply rooted the problem really is, and Crowley tells him so. Crowley is so hurt by Aziraphale because he thought they were way pass all of that, that they were above all of the Heaven vs Hell bullshit, and he thought that doing good in their own way was enough for Aziraphale. But it was not.

Crowley sees that what they've done is not enough for Aziraphale and it will never be because they are not in Heaven. He discovers that there's nothing good enough for Aziraphale to feel satisfied with what they have because Crowley is not enough. He's a demon after all, and true goodness lays in Heaven.

And when Crowley kisses him, and Aziraphale says "I forgive you."

Crowley finds out that his kiss, something that I personally read as a fragment of what they could have if they remained "neutral", of all the possibilities they have yet to explore, all the feelings they could stop hidding; is misunderstood by Aziraphale as some sort of tempting act????

Crowley must have poured that kiss with all the hope he had for a better future, a future together. He must have pushed all his fears to the side, just for one second, so he could finally express how he truly felt, how deeply in love he was, and Aziraphale reads this as some sort of trick that needs to be forgiven?

Boy, I'm so very much with Crowley in this.

I've seen people commenting on how manipulative Crowley must have been perceived by Aziraphale (in his POV, u know), but I don't think he forgives Crowley for his "failed attempt of manipulation". I don't think he sees this that way in the slightest to be honest.

I think the "I forgive you" can have:

A very simple meaning "I forgive you for kissing me like that without my consent". You guys know Aziraphale could come up with something like this, he's still an angel after all.

A deeper meaning just for the gays who love to torture themselves as much as they can "I forgive you for leaving me and choosing your own path." I can see Aziraphale considering Crowley's desicion as something selfish, and despite everything, he wants to let him know that it's okay, he can choose his own happiness above whatever thing they currently have.

Of course, everyone can have their opinion and we can all disagree, but I think some people don't properly understand just how deep into that Black and White worldview Aziraphale still is. He still considers demons to be inferior to angels, even if he knows they are just as complex as human beings. This is a deeply rooted "truth" he can't simply shake off like Crowley did, and until he does, he won't be able to choose Crowley and be happy.

#ineffable husbands divorce era #good omens #good omens s2 #go2 spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #gos2e6 #gos2ep6 #gos2e6 analysis #gos2e6 interpretation #nah I'm just ranting at this point #gos2 opinion #ineffable husbands

[dionysianfreak]

I'm going to be vulnerable on main because I feel the need to spread the message

i adore how positive and bright the helpol community can be (especially my mutuals kisskiss). it's so uplifting to come here and feel safe on a blog I consider virtually sacred. i truly am thankful for all the experience and wisdom I've found here. personally, i would like to begin sharing the shadowed sides of my life in the context of my religion. I'm pretty selective with what i share online so bear with me through this message

my religion is a the flame of a candle on the darkest night of the year. I've struggled endlessly with mental disorders, trauma, self-image, self-destruction, and addiction. the Theoi have been with me through it all, though that doesn't mean i have been there with Them. I fall away & neglect offerings. I make bad decisions & ignore my gut feelings. i don't speak when I should & i run my mouth when I should sew it up. still, I've never felt abandoned by the Gods. which is impressive, as abandonment is a pain carved very deeply into my skin

recently, my addictions have sent me on a spiral. the fall and winter seasons are full of past pain for me and I lost a lot. I fell back onto substances that destroy my body and numb my mind because the pain of existence can be overwhelming for such a small human like me. still, substances do nothing but prolong the strife. they translate your trauma into a different language, one you don't understand but can't peel your eyes off of

the Theoi have been aiding me with this for years. inching me closer to sobriety until I talk myself back once more. you cannot reason with addiction. it has a cunning tongue that is second only to Hermès. recovery is not linear or easy, but it is the greatest form of kindness towards yourself. i have been longing for sobriety for two years

some may have noticed Ganesha's name appearing more on my blog, or the images of Hindu Deities in passing. the Theoi have stayed with me through my addiction and thus I had formed an association between the two. I have never once worshiped a God outside of the Theoi, until Ganesha

Ganesha has brought me so much wisdom and structure. this isn't a connection I would have seen coming in a million years, but brilliant Apollon guided me Their way. it has been less than a month, and my path to sobriety has never been more clear

I still spend nights reeling and crying, and I still feel the urges to relapse wash over me. but little by little, every time you say "no", the next time gets a little easier. i have replaced my "ritual" of substance abuse with a ritual of being with Ganesha. when I step away from Their shrine, I feel more alive and every time I'm thankful that I experienced that moment

the moral of this story is that your life, and your religion, will always be full of things you're ashamed of. we make mistakes and we lean on things that aren't good for us. this is a part of being human. however, love and hope are what define the human experience. you can trust the Divine with things you would never mutter to another person, and They will listen. They will stay with you as you destroy yourself and They will help you pick up the pieces when you are ready.

when the Divine calls to you and asks you to trust Them, do so. i clenched my fist and bit my lip, but I trusted Them, and I feel so much better now. you too can trust Them with your strife. They know better than anyone

"it may never be as it was before, but growth can persist through pain"

#personal #freaky ramblings #helpol #hellenic polytheism #ganesha #hinduism #theoi #addiction tw #substance abuse #trigger warning #apollon

[safetycar-restart]

Small dick Charles (because lately it's been haunting my mind) but I'm making it angsty (because I feel like torturing our boy) (also thank you for making me Charles angst anon, I'm honored and I'm not gonna let you down 🫡)

So we know that most previous partners weren't good for Charles. They made fun of him or left him as soon as they found out about his little dick. And because of that he was insecure. But you showed him that he doesn't have to be. Of course he can pleasure himself and (what is most important for him) he can pleasure you and be a good boy for you. The size of his cock doesn't matter here. And he finally starts to believe you and understand that he is enough just the way he is. He accepts himself, although he needs a lot of praise and compliments from you. But it's okay, anything for your boy.

That's until one of the race weekends. Charles is standing in the circle with few other drivers and they're talking. They're immature kids, so of course they talk about sex. Charles is rather silent because he doesn't like to share this part of his life. You're his mommy and everything you do to him stays with him. Why would someone else listen about it?

"And why are you silent Charles? That's because you can't pleasure your mommy with your small dick?" (they know that he is small, it's just visible that there's no bulge in his jeans or fireproofs)

George is the first one who bring up the topic and then others go on with it. They're making fun of him, asking if he's able to do anything with his cock, if he can penetrate you or is he too small. And they think that these are just jokes (very cruel ones), but not for Charles. They may not know it, but Charles takes it very personally. And he is so sad because why are they doing this to him? He thought that they're friends, so they shouldn't hurt him. It hurts twice as much because they're laughing at something Charles has no control over. He just can't change it. Of course he would like to have a bigger cock but he can't. And just as he was finally beginning to accept himself, someone showed up to destroy it again.

When Charles gets to you he isn't just crying, he is fully sobbing his heart out, throwing himself in your arms. And you hold him through this, try to be strong but you can't help sadness flooding you. Your poor little boy, you feel so sorry for him. Because he suffers so much from something over which he has no control. And now all because of his called friends. Great. The only thing you can do it now is The only thing you can do now is offer him your closeness and rebuild his confidence again. It's gonna be hard, but again - anything for your boy.

(And quite by accident you can tell Lando, George and Alex's doms about this situation, hoping that they will be punished for hurting your boy)

- 🪸

I am already regretting naming you the Charles angst anon, but I suppose that's exactly what I should have expected from the Charles angst anon, so keep up the good work!!

Firstly, I love the idea that Charles gets his confidence because he realises he can make you feel good? He LOVES going down on you, it's legitimately his favourite thing ever. It takes him a long time to actually fuck you, because he's terrified that you won't even feel him (which is what a partner had told him once and it absolutely devastated him).

But honestly, you like his size. Sure you've had bigger before, but you like it. You never hurt the next day, and don't require too much prep. Above all else, it's Charles. He's your good boy, and you're his mommy. How could he be anything other than perfect?

It takes him a long time to accept that he can actually make you feel good, that he's good enough for his mommy. And even once he has accepted that, his confidence can still be shattered instantly.

But he's doing better. Genuinely, he's doing so much better.

Until one race weekend when he's chatting with everyone. Maybe they just finished a media conference or something? So they're all standing around and chatting, waiting for their respective teams to come fetch them.

They're all subs, and so naturally they tend to talk about it. Usually Charles doesn't mind it too much, he just nods and will occasionally share some information of his own. That's why they all know he calls you mommy.

But truth be told, he doesn't like sharing his sex life with anyone, even his friends who are also subs. It's not that he's ashamed of it, because of course he isnt. It's just... that's between him and his mommy? He belongs to his mommy. No one else gets to see that side of him, and he doesn't want anyone else to know anything about what he does with his mommy.

Today they're chatting about what it's like when they fuck their Doms, about how it happens and why.

Charles isnt engaging in the conversation at all. He's only recently started fucking you and he doesn't want anyone else to know about that.

But his friends notice he hasn't said anything and decide to tease him, asking if he's too small to fuck his mommy. Instantly Charles wants to run away, but his friends are just joking and don't actually know he has a small member, so if he runs then they'll know for sure that he actually does.

Everyone joins in and they all start joking about him having a small dick. Poor Charles just feels so broken. Why are they being so mean to him? Why won't they just move on?

His friends think they're just having fun, but Charles is breaking inside. They're poking fun at his biggest insecurity and they haven't even bothered to notice how upset it's making him.

Eventually he manages to escape them and then he just runs to you.

Even though he feels like every moment he's made you feel good has been a lie, he still wants his mommy. He wants love and comfort and to be held tight.

You've never seen your good boy so upset, and he fully sobs in your arms. He can't even get the words out. You have no idea what's happened yet, but you're panicking because Ferrari will be looking for Charles soon and he's in no state to be in public right now.

So you just comfort him as best you can, holding him right and rubbing his back. Eventually he manages to calm down enough to speak, and then your heart just breaks.

Even though they didnt know Charles actually did have a small dick, why would they tease him about that? Who does that?

Poor Charles has his confidence utterly shattered.

The night before he was smily and giggly as he was grinding against you, shameless in showing you he was horny and hard. But the next night he takes his clothes into the bathroom to get changed after he showers, not even wanting you to see him get changed.

You have to build his confidence back up, praising him and promising him that you are so happy with him. You have to be slow with it, careful not to push him too hard.

But he gets there, because he's your good boy and you're his mommy. He must trust whatever his mommy tells him.

And his mommy is telling him that he's the best boy ever.

#sub!charles #cl #nsfw. #f!reader #SD!Charles

[retphienix]

I haven't played too much today thus far since I'm confined to solo queue and solo play today (oof) but some opinions on some of the adjustments.

Short version: Looking forward to much much more and thoroughly enjoying what I've tried on difficulties 4~8 range (I don't like soloing helldive since I feel tunneled to stealth and jack of all trades loadouts- so not bothering)

Punisher: MUCH better place than it once was and arguably is just where it should be in terms of how primaries are balanced. It does it's job and does it well as an ammo stable slightly harder hitting but slightly more accuracy demanding Breaker. I think I love it? But I am still holding out for the pseudo med armor pen of the slugger once I get that thing (bought it while typing this).

Heavy Laser: MUCH more fun and useful than it was. I actually never considered the "intended use" the devs claimed for pre-patch, it was a damn poor version of a Machine Gun- infinite ammo or not. But as a medium armor pen weapon it definitely shows a lot more promise and effective utility in a loadout.

But.

It kinda still falls into a middle ground between "swarm clearing" and "heavy targeting" that's a bit awkward- definitely has potential in a squad but not something I would recommend to anyone playing solo like I was.

It instantly melts through any medium armor targets like hefty bugs or most bot targets, but it's still entirely useless against heavy armor and as such struggles to tickle chargers outside of post-charge which is the same period of time when literally any weapon can tear them down so- it has found "a place" but that place is strictly medium armor clearing and slight ammo efficiency buff to your other weapons. DECENT buff, definitely needs some more in my opinion- perhaps a complete rework of lasers in general would help as some have posed that "heat" weapons should melt off armor with extended contact. Purely hypothetical, but that'd do it.

Stick to unsafe-charged railguns for heavy stuff, if you're so inclined. (or any other option, I'm just pointing at the recently-brought-in-line-but-still-extremely-effective option)

Flamethrower: 10x more fun and effective, still demands team play or it slacks. The thing does nearly immediately kill anything in its flames that isn't heavily armored. Not sure what people claiming it does well against chargers are on about- unless they mean in team play where nothing else is involved.

In a "literal 1 v 1" with no distractions I think it'd do alright- it acts like the arc thrower in just "doing damage" and not super caring about the armor, but just like the arc thrower it's not an armor destroying monster- it takes TIME to kill the charger (10~ shots of an arc thrower can do it and I find that far more reliable than using a flamethrower).

But, I was solo and dealing with swarms AND chargers, so maybe in that 1v1 scenario it can melt their health bar reasonably, I can't say after 1 field test.

Now, the flamethrower does not in any way need to be an armor killer, I'm just mentioning it as it's one of the two things I tested against. It's MILES better against adds now, but it's not magically a charger killer- it just "can" do the job. Good buff! Still holding out that they implement some CC to fire damage so that enemies are staggered/scared by flames!

120kg barrage: Eeeeh. It's definitely 300% better than it was, for reference the 120 and 380 were fucking useless prior- their gimmick of "A barrage of explosions over a HUGE area" just didn't serve a real purpose in gameplay- not to mention they didn't even, you know, "barrage" an area, they kinda just went "This 9000 square feet area? We're gonna drop... hmmm.... 3 fire crackers in there randomly. Hope that helps!"

NOW, the 120 is actually pretty nice at softening up some objectives because it actually stayed near the intended target area. I tossed one onto 2 different egg batches and saw it genuinely soften up the area- nearly solo'd one 40~ egg batch on its own while killing a lot of the enemies in the area and even knocking out a nest or two I believe. It ACTUALLY serves a nice purpose of "slightly big area getting softened up".

Now, the utility of that depends on what other strategems people bring, but I know my preference for such things would pick something like the orbital barrage for its spammable cannon spray over this thing- but at least it WORKS now- I can see this actually helping!

Shield backpack: It's still insanely good. I genuinely think this is "almost" the perfect nerf because I can't say I think it's entirely overpowered anymore, but I can say it's still an incredibly versatile "get out of jail free" card that skips staggers and damage more often than it doesn't.

I genuinely think increasing its recharge delay in and out of "shield break" did well to make it no longer a borderline invincibility tool that you feel obligated to have at all times on higher difficulties- opening the way to more backpack options in my opinion. Kinda.

Because I said "almost". It's still an insanely useful tool and I still can't rightly say I'd prefer a backpack weapon over it, but perhaps I'm being a coward for disliking sudden slows from hunter tongues. In truth, that's a skill issue now ain't it, I simply think until we have more options to avoid stagger/slow or "ignore a damage source every now and then" like the shield does- the backpack will remain HIGHLY valuable to almost-if-not-certain overpowered degrees.

Still a good nerf in my opinion.

Liberator Concussive: It just got a name change don't go expecting anything. It's still bad and nothing changed beyond getting a much better name.

Railgun: I don't use railgun like at all, but I know what it did (and used a handful of times) prior to the patch and I have seen/heard what it does post patch. Sounds like it now HAS to overcharge to unsafe ranges to accomplish the same thing it did pre-patch in safe.

So like.

That means it's literally the same as it was pre-patch except you have to put some skill, timing, and positioning (to have time to charge) into using it, lol, sounds like a good nerf to me. If you want backpack-less armor pen with ammo to spare then it's still the tool to pick, you just have to use unsafe all the time now which seems more than fair when every other weapon has to be used intelligently to succeed. lmao

Breaker: It literally lost 3 rounds and some max ammo, big whoop lol

Still need to test the 380 and I plan to run the railgun for a few 7-8-9 runs to get a real feel for this new "actually try" era of railgun, but overall I like most of what we got adjusted.

Oh, and the spray and pray, but I'm not holding my breath much. I mean it's DEFINITELY gonna be better than the unusable state it was in, but it's also just not the weapon I'd strive to use much anyway so I'll certainly test it but I don't expect much.

I'm still looking forward to MUCH more in terms of balance adjustments, as I think many are, but I enjoyed what's here.

Also armor works now. It's underwhelming, but I'll be completely honest, I kind of expected as much because speed > armor in 90% of games so I figured armor would get fixed and still not really impact higher difficulty play much.

Maybe later adjustments will make it matter more? But for now it's still "Be fast, bro." and that's fine enough.

#helldivers 2 #RetPlays

[egg-emperor]

"Actually, this quote makes me fear the direction Ian wants to take Eggman, because he has a longstanding history of trying to make Eggman "scary" and psychopathic. Doing actual realistic war crimes like torture and just really cruel down-to-earth things that go beyond putting animals in robots and resurrecting ancient evils and taking over the world." How do you feel about this statement?

That's actually the opposite of what I've been worrying about with what the "interesting directions" quote could mean for the possibilities of Eggman's writing in Frontiers lol

I personally don't have a problem with the fucked up shit that Archie Eggman did in late pre reboot and post reboot at all. In fact, those were my favorite parts, I loved the genuinely thrillingly chilling moments that really showed how he is in fact the most dangerous villain, he isn't to be messed with and he doesn't fuck around, and he's capable of extremely fucked up shit. I don't think that being "too evil" is possible with Eggman, it's just about making sure his specific actions, methods, and motives are handled in ways that feel in character for him, and I think those moments in later Archie (and early IDW before they fucked it up) were. They were right up my alley and played a part in how much I love fucked up Eggman, though the games themselves are the primary because he's much more twisted and evil there than he gets credit for.

People forget just how evil he is in the games or overlook, downplay, sugarcoat, or ignore it. This is the man that's been harming wildlife and the environment since the beginning, has likely caused tons of collateral damage resulting in tons of deaths he's apathetic towards as seen in Lost World, he lies, gaslights, and manipulates, tries to kill 15 year old Sonic, has been said to have tortured him, held a 12 year old hostage at gun point, tried to murder an 8 year old and said "killing [him] would be [his] pleasure", intentionally intends to harm innocent people, like when he tried to bomb Station Square. He's sadistic in his attempted murders, enslavement of others, and the dangers of Eggmanland and the Interstellar Park, he's selfish, violent, murderous, and has no known limits for what he'll do to get what he wants, as long as the planet isn't entirely destroyed so he can't rule it.

I could go on and on but what I'm saying is that the truth is, I don't think the stuff that Flynn wrote for Eggman in Archie was any more evil and shocking than what he's done in the games, I can see him doing those same things because no matter the tone of the stories in the games, he's never stopped doing fucked up shit. His destructive, murderous, manipulative, truly evil and selfish aspects have never gone anywhere and we've seen plenty examples of just how low he'll stoop without hesitation or remorse to get what he wants. And as far as we know, he doesn't seem to have limits in what he'll do to get what he wants aside from destroying the entire planet but even then, he'll still massively damage it to get what he wants. So who can say just how far he can go, just how evil and dark he can get?

I love to see that explored, it has always fascinated me and it's something I like to delve into with my own work too. I like how the better parts of Archie and IDW have played around with that in a few gloriously evil and chilling impactful ways, I found some of the moments so cool and exciting and they inspired me and helped in forming some of my biggest interests and fascinations. I really wish there was more like my favorite parts because some of those were Flynn writing Eggman at his best in my eyes because believe it or not, I loved his Eggman portrayal in later and post reboot Archie and early IDW before my criticisms and then in #50, I finally got to see more of that Eggman I love from him again and missed a ton. And I hope that from here, things look and Stanley can deliver more of that kind of Eggman too.

Eggman should be scary, cruel, and fucked up and have fun with it, I fucking love that shit. 🥰 In my opinion, if you balance in the required humor and understand and remember his motives in why he's doing what he's doing, you can go crazy with the things he'll do because he's evil and creative enough to do it.

Now to get a bit into what I mean when I say that was the opposite of what I was fearing - given the inaccuracies of IDW with how Eggman was treated as the lesser evil villain instead of the most dangerous threat he really is, Sonic and the audience decided the whole Tinker thing means the real Eggman with all his memories and true personality intact is capable of being as kind and soft as him, and the way it seemingly implied that he doesn't see his own actions as evil despite him specifically calling himself and his actions evil in the games + Flynn working on writing for Frontiers- I was worried that stuff like this could potentially seep into the game writings. Game Eggman is the most consistent and well written of all the characters, I'd be crushed if that suddenly changed with inaccuracies and contradiction.

The phrasing "interesting directions" is vague but made me nervous about what it might mean for Eggman in Frontiers, especially when I saw people saying that maybe he'll show a new nicer side and go through some kind of development and changes his character wasn't created for and isn't suited for as the truly evil main villain and most dangerous threat. I never want to see that happen in game canon and while I doubt it will, it's a persistent worry when a big majority of the fandom want it and I'm just like please can we keep at least one fucked up evil bastard of a villain that way, instead of always wanting to change and redeem them? Lol please. But hopefully all the spot on things said about him in TailsTube will be remembered and so will past writing in the games. Also that Sega will have guidelines that keep things faithful.

Also, learning that Flynn is writing the dialogue while Sega is providing the "story, backstory, and plot beats" has put my mind at ease a little. I know dialogue is very important and plays a huge part in accurate characterization but there's still been a bunch that I've enjoyed from Flynn and in IDW #50, things are finally looking up again for Eggman's portrayal and that's also given me hope. That, combined with the guidelines Sega will likely provide, makes it seem like Eggman's solid and consistent game canon portrayal could continue, regardless of his role in the story. But I'd much prefer if he is still getting up to some scheming himself and isn't just cast aside for some other villain. But with the small hints and details we've gotten, it seems his role could actually be pretty big and important. I really hope so and that it will be in character!

But yeah, Eggman being scary and fucked up as he should be is him at his best and I'd absolutely LOVE if "interesting directions" actually meant exploring that more in the way he deserves, with the story focus and tone that makes it hard to overlook, downplay, or ignore, so people will acknowledge it and realize just how evil he really is all the time lol. Man I wish! 😍💜

#asks #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #sonic frontiers #my post #opinion

[writingonesdreams]

Flash fiction friday

For @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt

A mind mage tries to make a revenge driven boy to open up to her. By force if necessary.

Meeting of the minds

"You went through my memories." Sonny accused her. His eyes turned bloody red colour and his body went dangerously still.

Mae tensed up involuntarily, but managed to keep her voice steady.

"Yes. Because you found out a secret that turned your world upside down, and yet you can't bring yourself to share it with anyone. You push them all away."

"People like you are the reason. So much for trusting you."

"You were dying to tell somebody, but your own stubbornness made you incapable of doing so. I did you a favour."

He laughed hoarsely, amazement fighting denial with a note of desperation at the edges. She felt sorry for him. The things she found out about what happened to his family were terrible. His City was so afraid of their rare powers, they were mistreating and isolating them in fear. When they tried to rise up against the City council, they were killed. 

And Sonny’s brother took the blame to protect their family name. He took upon himself how their clan would be remembered and gave up any relationship with his younger brother in the process.

Sonny found out only after his death. That was three days ago. 

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked, folding into himself. 

Mae breathed out in relief at the sight. If he decided to fight her, mind magic or not, he would have killed her in a blink. 

“Come with me. Don’t trust a person who would turn your grief against you, like Vain. You don’t know what he will gain from this.”

“Because you are doing it for such selfless reasons.”

“No. I’m very much in this for my own gain as well. But I’ll tell you what it is. You can be sure of what I’m doing won’t hurt anybody.” Mae put her hands on her hips and fixed his glowing red eyes with her intense stare. “Everything has a price. It’s better to know what it is upfront, instead of having it bite you later.”

“Alright. What do you want?”

“I need you to come back to the City and convince them to help mine.”

Another laugh. “Oh, and why would they listen to me? I put my revenge against my brother-” his voice broke and he coughed before continuing. “I put my interests before theirs for years. Why should they listen?”

“They will want you back.”

“Ha. But I don’t want to go back. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would rather destroy them with the power they would accept me back for.”

“Look, you are feeling betrayed right now. Because you trusted them. You trusted the greater good of the City and the council and how they managed powered exceptional people like you. I never believed institutions or authorities have good intentions. That they won’t go corrupt even if they did. But I believe in people. In individuals doing the right thing. And I’m in a harder position than you. I have no allies, no cards and a lot to lose, while you have chosen to see nothing of what you have for something you have already lost.” 

She took a deep breath and continued more gently.

“I won’t pretend that I know how you feel. Nor that I have your best intentions in mind. But I know what happened to you and how you think. So what about you helped me and in the meantime saw the City, the people that live and fight for it right now, with the good and the bad and the gray and made your decision about its corruption and destruction after?"

Sonny directed his carmine eyes at her again. Her heart was drumming painfully against her ribcage. This was her only chance. The only way to get help from a City as mighty and out of reach as his. 

“Fine,” he said after what felt like an eternity. “I will help you, just to see if they are capable of helping someone in need. Of doing anything good. With eyes unclouded by hatred as much as I can.” 

Mae’s legs were shaking from the tension. She wanted to fall over then and there. 

"I met them, you know. Your friends. Ren and Kai and Lory. They never gave up on you.” That was her last card. She saved it up for last resort. Now she wanted to give it to him in thanks.

Sonny threw her an agonized look and turned his back to her.

“You will have to help me. I don’t...I don’t know how to tell them. If I even should tell them. If I want to-” his voice broke again.

Mae’s heart flooded with sadness and sympathy for him. She wished she could come closer and touch him, comfort him somehow, but she knew touching his mind had been enough of pushing his boundaries for one day. 

She knew what that admission cost him. It was her after all, who forced him to open up. Still, it was the right thing to do. One day he would manage to do this on his own and to his true friends. 

“Yes, I will,” she promised.

Maybe one day, she would count as a friend to him as well. 

#writeblr #flashfictionfriday #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #revenge #fantasy #meeting of the minds #flash fiction #hurt/comfort #angst

[dark9896]

Whumptober 2023

Day 24: "You're better than that." "Am I?" [x Dog]

Standing up from a large pile of rubble, Dog couldn't help but feel as if he wasn't helping much anymore. Yes he was still a powerhouse that could handle most situations but...

Here he was destroying buildings that people were living in...

Maybe he should try training so he doesn't...

"Dog, sweetie, you okay?" You reached out to the massive red arm, "Did you get hurt?"

Deldro snickered, he found your concern adorable, "Oh something's hurt alright [Name], but you wouldn't find out."

"Hold on!" Dog sounded like he was panicking, "I'm fine Cocoa Bear! Just a little stunned from the fall."

It was just enough to get you to relax, despite Deldor's teasing. You knew that Deldro was trying to rile you up, to get some kind of enjoyment out of outwardly tormenting Dog. And you could tell there was something Dog was holding back... you just couldn't tell what it was.

It couldn't be physical, there would be a bruise. It could be a mental problem, after all dealing with an ex like Aligula would do that. It could also be emotional, having to balance the fact that he was moving on with someone who would never let go. But you'd never know unless Dog spoke up.

"Sweetie, you know you can talk to me about whatever might be bothering you." You looked up at the 'clean' version of Dog, Deldro having retreated back into his veins, "But I'll never know without you saying something."

He wilted a teeny bit, knowing you were right but not knowing how or where to start explaining himself. There was at least a decent car ride back to the prison that he could try to start... and Warden Alice knew you well enough to allow you to stay with Dog for a little while after he was secured.

"Is something bothering you Dog?" Klaus would never miss a beat when someone isn't okay, "You've been wringing your hands quite roughly."

Dog whimpered, that definitely caught your attention, "I just... I'm a little worried about the buildings that get destroyed..."

"That isn't your fault." Klaus attempted to assure him, "We all do our best to not injure innocents, to only have collateral damage in our wake. We can only do so much unfortunately, and a few buildings are much better losses than other's lives."

You wondered when Klaus was just going to become a motivational speaker... But Dog didn't seem to be so convinced.

"Sweetie, you can't help when you get thrown around. You were thrown around." You rested a hand on his forearm, "You're better than the thing you're trying to portray yourself."

"Am I?" He turned more toward you as he wanted your comfort, "It feels like I can't do enough to not get thrown around. It doesn't hurt me all that much, but there are things that bug me."

"I can say that yeah, you are better than you think in this situation." You had to speak faster than Klaus could interject, "You were doing everything you could at the time. And the building was evacuated beforehand. Whether the building's owner wants to rebuild or not is up to them."

Dog looked at you like a lost puppy. He wanted to believe everything from you, knowing you were right about this. But he couldn't help the feeling that these were empty words.

And he hated thinking that way.

But you were stubborn about it, even as he was being resecured into his cell. Deldro in the back of his mind was agreeing with you, though that barely helped the situation. Though, Dog could see what you and Klaus were saying. No people were hurt by him being thrown into the building... except him a little. He could at least sleep a little sounder because of that.

#bbb #kkss #kekkai sensen #blood blockade battlefront #dog hummer #whumptober 2023