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#I’m going to make myself post the chapter tonight

micaluvssoccer · 2 days

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Girl next door: Nika Mühi story

Chapter 3

Micaella’s POV

She then gets in the passenger side and I hand her my phone and I see my mom calling and I answer it and I say hi mama. Mama says hey just wanted to check in. I say hey everything is fine i just went to the grocery store and I’m going to have a picnic with my neighbor and her teammates. I'm about to drive home but I’ll call you later. She says okay have fun and someone really misses you. I smile and say I will mama and if he is there with her and if I can see him. She says he is lying right next to me all depressed. I say aww my poor baby boy i miss him too. Nika looks at me all confused and I say it’s my mom she’s with our family dog and he’s all depressed because I’m gone. She says ah okay and I say yeah and I say mama I’ll call you back tonight after dinner. She says okay and your father should be back by then.

I say okay good love you byeeeeee and my mom says I love you too bye sweetheart and then we hang up and I put the map on . Nika and the girls all say that was just super cute. I blush and say thanks girls you'll see them tonight. They all cheer and I giggle and put the address in and I give my phone back to Nika. Nika turns the music back on and I start driving back to the dorms. We get back to the dorms and the girls all help me bring the bags up to my room. I put what I don’t need in the refrigerator and then I head to my room to change into a crop top and shorts. The girls all wait for me in the hall. I come back out and I get the picnic stuff ready and the food prepared. Nika watches me with heart eyes and then looks down at my ass and she starts to drool. The other girls all start to giggle and I finish up and I grab the picnic basket and blanket and I say what’s the best spot to picnic at? They all look at Paige and Nika for the answer.

Paige says if you want it to just be us without anyone bothering us probably the national park but it’s far and I say okay then let’s just stay here but outside also I’m micaella btw I totally forgot to introduce myself. They all smile and then they all introduce themselves to me. I smile back and I say okay let’s go have some lunch! They all say okay let's go and I smile and follow them out the door and we walk outside. Nika walks beside me the entire time. I softly smile and we get under a tree and I set up the picnic and I put the basket down. We all then sit on the blanket. Nika sits down next to me and ice sits on the other side of me and I get to know all the girls. The girls all get to know me as well . I notice a group of girls walking over and we hear them asking for the girls autographs and I fill up the girls plates with food.

The girls all sign their autographs and I notice one of the girls flirting with Nika and I frown and I hand the girls their plates. Nika ignores her and she turns her attention back to me. I continue to pass the girls their food and then I pour the apple cider into their cups. Nika then starts to pass out the cups to the girls then she rubs my back. I look over at her and softly smile and then I make her plate and pour her a cup as well. She smiles and says thank you gorgeous . I blush and say you're welcome Nika and then the girls say thank you mama mica and I giggle and I say you're welcome girls. We all start to eat our food and I pour some apple cider in a cup and I drink it and start to enjoy myself. Nika then starts to scoot closer to me. I bite my lip softly and I say how excited are you girls for March madness? They all say omg yes we definitely are. I giggled when I saw how excited they were and I said I would definitely have to check our schedule to see if I could go.

Nika says we would love it if you could make it. I smile and say hopefully the coach posted the schedule then I’d know. She says okay and I smile then we all finish our food. My phone buzzes and I look down at it and I see that my grandma texted me and my mood completely changes. Nika and the girls all look at me very worried. I say one second and then I grab my phone and call my mom pacing around. My mom answers hello and I try not to cry and I say mama she texted me. She says okay take a deep breath and I will deal with her . I say okay she won’t stop messaging me and I’m still with the girls. I don't even know what she said. I just can tell it’s nothing good. She says okay and I see another message pop up and I look at it and I see that she said wow I can’t believe you just ran away because I moved to Florida so pathetic and fat and I feel tears streaming down my face. I then hear Paige say oh no she’s crying and then she gets up and hugs me. Nika runs over to me as well and my mom says my sweetheart it’s okay you’re okay give the phone to Nika for me baby girl. I then hand my phone over to nika and Nika takes it and says hi Mrs. Ungerer it’s Nika is everything okay what’s going on are you all okay.

Paige pulls me into her arms and I start to sob in her arms and my mom says okay so Micaella’s grandma aka my mother has been talking about her weight and we left Maryland because of her behavior and she moved to Florida yesterday and well she found out that Micaella transferred and she texted her more insults. She says oh no and my mom says that’s why she’s crying so if you see a contact saying grandma please block her and hold my daughter. She says i will right now and Nika blocks my grandma and takes me out of Paige’s arms and she holds me. I bury my head into her chest as she rocks me gently. Nika says girls can you pack things up let’s just have a movie night and order pizza. They all say okay and she carries me inside. I look down and I put my legs around her waist. Paige watches us and she awwws.

#wcbb x reader #nika muhl x reader #ice brady #nika muhl #nika mühl #paige bueckers x reader #ice brady x reader

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ssreeder · 6 months

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im chronically on ao3 and stumbling upon LIAB is something that i will always thank fate for! literally i binge read it the first time I found it back in may and ever since have been re-reading and recommending it to every single person I know! it’s an amazing piece of literature but also illustrates how awful war can be but how good it can get if you have the right people with you! anyways i could ramble about how amazing this fic is for hours (more like days) but just wanted to let you know im super stoked for the next update and can’t wait to see what happens! literally love seeing the reunion between all the characters (especially sokka and zuko) and think everyone’s dynamic is coming together great! you are an amazing author and fantastic writer and i just thought u should know <3!

I would love nothing more than to ramble with you for hours days weeks years about liab because I packed so much shit in there we could probably find shit to dissect for a while haha. I really love that you took the time to send me this ask I’m sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! I have read your ask 100x haha

If you’re excited about characters interacting you will really enjoy the next update! Lots of people getting together haha, & surprisingly a lot of Zuko.

Thanks for this amazing ask sorry it took me eternity to respond

#THIS WAS SO NICEeeeee #seriously idk how to thank you enough for your kind words #whenever I get in a funk and I get a random kind ask it serious lifts my spsirts #IM FUCKING FLOATING RIGHT NOW THANK YOUUU #after I go a long time without answering asks I for #I forget how to answer asks #I seriously will open them and the stare at them until my brain melts and my eyes water and I forget how to be a person #BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #so thank you seriously #I’m going to make myself post the chapter tonight #you’re amazing #thank you thank you thank youuuuuu #cha1amour #MAKING MY DAY FRIEND #liab #ask

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ja3hwa · 1 month

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♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 | 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧 ♡

【Synopsis】 : The boys were going to teach you a simple game of pool. Nothing more, nothing less... right?

『Word count』 : 3.9k

-> Genre: Smut. Dark Romance. Supernatural.

Pairing: Vampire!WooSanSang x Human!Reader

[Warnings] : Flirting. Dirty talk. Slight innocent reader. Foursome. Lowkey free use. Dub-con ish, but the reader is into it. Everything is just new for her. Mxm. Manhandling. Blood drinking, biting. Wounds. Whimper kink? Swearing. Clit play. Yeosang fucks her without really asking but the reader is into it. Unprotected sex. Multiple orgasms. Pet names including [Doll, Baby, Pet, Sir, Darling. Pretty thing] Use of the word slut. I shit on religion for a second, so I’m sorry if anyone is religious.

Note: Fun fact I found out that pool tables were invented back in 1470, so I felt like I had to add it aha.

Also hi I'm uploaded two fic in one night. I know crazy right?! Well, I've been really wanting to just post all my work. i got in the drafts, but im pacing myself, hehe. So this is just a little ... gift? Idk ahah i just could help, but post two tonight. Enjoy ♡♡

"Oh, my body, I don't wanna stop until the break of dawn"

Masterlist | Nav | Chapter Three | Series List | Buy Me A Ko-fi

When you finally woke, you noticed Seonghwa had left the bed. There was a small note on the bedside table with a little heart next to your name written in black ink. You smiled sleepily, stretching slowly in the spacious bed. You’ve never had a better sleep in years, if not ever. Your small single bed that was tattered and moulding was all you’d ever known, and now you had a bed fit for a king. It was almost strange, bittersweet in a way. You felt like you were always supposed to end up here. With them. Like fate was etched in stone way before you were even of age. You had wondered if they felt the same way, as you made your way through the halls once again. It became quite easy to move around the manor now that you’ve explored a bit. You had slipped on a tunic and pants of various shades of purple and black that were sitting on the end of your bed.

“I see you’ve made yourself quite at home, pet.” You shivered at the sound of Yeosang's velvet voice. Glancing above, you see him leaning on the railing of the mezzanine, a sly smirk on his delicate features.

“She’s like a curious kitty isn’t she.” Another voice caught your attention looking towards the doorway of the billiard room you see a feline feature man. San... His dark hair and sharp yellow glowing eyes make your heart thump in anticipation. Strange? you thought. They were all vampires as far as you knew, so why were his eyes such a deep sunset yellow?

“We got to get that staring problem under control, Darling.” You jumped hearing the high-pitched man, Wooyoung right behind you, whispering in your ear.

“I w-was not staring.” You shake your head, turning around to see all three men now standing around the pool table. San had picked up a pool stick, putting some blue chalk to dab on the end of the said stick. You watched as all three of them took a pool cue and chalked them up, curious at what they might be up to. You had never seen a pool table up close, let alone see anyone play before. You’ve only ever read about it in fancy books or heard it from the richer folk in the village. “A-are you going to play a game?”

Your words sounded flinching like you were some peasant girl asking the higher for a slice of knowledge. But in truth weren’t you just that? “We are most definitely going to be playing a game Darlin’ and you are going to be the price.”

Wooyoung’s words made you gulp, standing there awkwardly playing with the hem of your tunic. San walked over to you while Yeosang set up the balls in the triangle. San’s fingers grazed your chin before lifting your face to look at him. His smile was softer this time, unlike how it was border-lining lust prior. “Don’t worry, Pretty thing. We won’t go too hard on you. Well, Yeosang might, if you’re not too careful.”

You visibly gulp feeling a tingle in your tummy. What could he possibly be insinuating? Your mind was racing, thinking of all the possibilities, slightly thanking Jongho was not here to read your lusting thoughts. You were about to say something, but then Wooyoung came up behind San, pushing him aside so he could give you a pool cue. “I don’t know how to p-play.”

“It’s okay, darling. We will teach you.” Wooyoung’s chippy voice eased your heart slightly. And as you watched Wooyoung start to bicker with Yeosang, who would start the game. You couldn’t help but giggle. For Monsters, they sure act like teenagers. Immature and… youthful.

“Okay okay, Woo, get over here. Let Sangie Break.” The feline yelled over all the bickering. The nicknames he gave the other males made your heart flutter. In the next few minutes, the three vampires took their turn, trying to get a ball in the hole. Until finally, San got a stripe in making Wooyoung whine.

“How do you always manage to score first.” Wooyoung was disappointed about his lover winning, shifting his weight around as he stomped over to the bar that was sitting across a billiard table. He grabbed out four short glasses and began pouring an amber-coloured liquor in each one. You could hear mumbles around you, most likely San and Yeosang badgering about something again, but you couldn’t focus on them. Only looking straight at the shorter male, curiously watching him take a shot of the liquid before taking the other full glass and shotting it.

“Pet did you hear anything we said?” Yeosang's presence behind you caught your attention, noting the way his shoulder bumped into you lightly. You shook your head with a little sorry before taking a breath, suddenly blurting out.

“I didn’t think vampires could eat or drink human food.”

The situation reminded you about how you shared a meal with all of them a night ago. You were so out of it, and floating in your mind, you didn’t really take notice that they were, in fact, consuming food. Cooked cow, vegetables, rich sauces, and wines. It was always written in history books and the words of your church that no hellspawn beasts like night crawlers were able to consume and dine on earthy foods. Only craving and needing the taste of blood to sustain themselves.

San had to try very hard not to laugh at your innocence. Wooyoung had a cheeky smirk on his face, placing the glass on the brim of the pool table, speaking up on your question. “Oh, we do not have to eat or drink to stay alive if that’s what you’re asking. And drinking does nothing for us unless we drink an entire Alehouse. But it does take the edge off for us a little bit.” He downed his drink like he did before, some of the alcohol dripping down his chin. San, within seconds, moved from one end of the table to where Wooyoung stood. His speed created a little wind pocket that blew against your face, making you shiver. San’s hand cupped Wooyoung’s chin, drawing his face upwards. San then opened his mouth, letting his freakishly long tongue slide out onto the younger's neck, licking up the liquor he had spilt.

You gulp, looking away to see Yeosang staring at you intensely with a smirk. He bit his lip before chuckling “God I wished I could read minds. I bet you’re thinking about the filthiest things right now.” He moved to stand in front of you, making you take a step back until you were trapped against the pool table and his broad body. “Such a cute little pet, with such a dirty little mind.”

“W-Wha...I…” You didn’t know what to say cause in truth you couldn’t help but think vulgarly around them. They were all so attractive, and it was like some kind of drug being near them. You looked back to San and Wooyoung, seeing San now had his tongue down the other man's throat, and you couldn’t help but whine. What you didn’t realize was that from looking away from Yeosang, you bared your neck to him, making him growl. “You should never show off your neck to vampires unless you want them to bite you, baby.”

Your eyes widened at his words. But you couldn’t react fast enough. It was like your body became a ragdoll as he moved you with the speed of light. Your back hit the table with a thud, legs spread with Yeosang’s body in between them and his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers squeezed his shoulders as you felt his sharp fangs run along your hot skin. “S-Sangie…”

“Hmm using my nickname is only gonna make me want to fuck you, pet.” his nose brushed down your main vein, letting him breathe in your scent sharply. You were the sweetest thing he had ever smelt.

“Sangie.” You repeated suddenly, reaching tighter for Yeosang’s large shoulders, lacing the fabric of his dress shirt in your fingers. The vampire just chuckled, kissing along your hot skin. You wiggled against him, feeling his crotch twitch beneath the layers of cloth that separated you both. “Please.”

“Ooo, She begs. My favourite.” Yeosang’s fangs grazed your neck, making your heart thump harder. You felt like your whole body was on fire, and every nerve was being consumed with nothing but Yeosang. His scent, his dark deep chuckles. The way his fingers glide along your body.

Him.

While his hands played with the fabric on your clothing. You turned your head to look back at where Wooyoung and San were, but the in a blink of an eye, they vanished.

“Don’t get this party started without us.” San’s voice frightened you as he was suddenly at the other end of the table, leaning over to give your forehead a light little kiss. Wooyoung, however, was now standing next to Yeosang, pushing your right leg opened wider so both men could stand in between them. “I can smell her from over there.”

“I know, our little slut is getting nice and wet from us teasing her.” Yeosang spat out such a foul name at you but it only made you whimper more. No way in your wildest dreams would you have ever suspected your life would end up with being sprawled out on a pool table with three Vampire, kiss and lick parts of your body that weren’t covered by your clothing.

Sinful. Hellborn. A daughter of Lilith. Words from your mother came flooding in your mind like little flashes of a candle flame blowing in the wind. Maybe she was right. Maybe she saw your future before you even knew it.

“F-fuck I need a taste,” Wooyoung whined, tugging at your pants, but what you didn’t expect was him to lift up the loose pant leg, exposing your right thigh. Yeosang pulled up your tunic, drawing his tongue out onto your hot skin. And finally, San, the last one, lifted your wrist to his nose, inhaling sharply before opening his mouth to suck on the soft flesh.

“I’d take a deep breath If I was you, pet,” Yeosang grunted with a sly smirk, making you let out a large gasp. You felt all three of them sink their teeth into you in a sudden snap, almost synchronised. The crunch of broken skin echoed in the room before ringing in your ears. You could feel their addictive vampiric venom pouring into your veins while they emptied you of blood. The euphoric feeling of being drained was indescribable. Like floating on a cloud, feeling the soft cotton tickle your body, leaving your toes and fingertips to tingle.

“F-ffuck. Argh.” Was all you could mutter out before rolling your eyes back again. You could feel Yeosang’s deep chuckle against your tummy, feeling like the sound almost came from inside you. And without letting his fangs slip, he drew his hand to your covered core. Pressing sharply on your sensitive button through the loose fabric. This made you let out another gasp, calling for Yeosang. “S-Sangie pleasee.”

San retracted his fangs from your wrist before whining, “Hey, I want to hear you cry my name out. Can you do that for me, pretty?” The vampire kissed along your arm until he got to your neck. You nodded while he tilted your head to the side, exposing your jugular. “such a good little doll. Now I want you to scream.”

And with that, he sunk his teeth into the crease of your shoulder and neck, making you let out a loud, painfully lustful cry. “FUCK SAN!!!”

Wooyoung and Yeosang finally pulled away after a few more moments, licking their lips of your blood. Yeosang had a deep growl rumble in his chest as he ran his thumb over the puncture wound, smearing the crimson liquid on your red irritated flesh. Wooyoung did the same but drew a heart with it instead making himself giggle in approval. “Fuck if we didn’t want to keep you alive pet. We would have drunk you dry.”

Yeosang’s empty threat would have scared anyone, but for some reason, it only enticed you more. Pulling your shaky legs up, you placed your bare feet on the edge of the pool table before spreading your legs wide. The grumpy vampire seemed to get the hint, taking his long nail he ripped the fabric right in between your thighs, making a slit-like opening for him and Wooyoung to get a perfect view of your soaking cunt. “Now, why don’t you look at that.”

Yeosang growls, sliding a finger along your wet lips. Your whole body shivers, feeling yourself becoming overwhelmed with pleasure. This shock wave made San sit up suddenly, pulling away from your shoulder, gasping for air as he let out the deepest, most feral-like groan you’ve ever heard.

“Fuck, She tastes so good when you do that. I need one of you to fuck her right now so I can taste that again” His blood-stained lips kissed along your shoulder smearing all the red crimson liquid over your soft skin. His kisses your feverish as if he had become drunk off you alone. The few buttons that were holding your shirt closed were now being opened by the feline male, slowly revealing your hidden flesh.

“I volunteer as tribute.”

Wooyoung protested, shaking his belt in a manner of desperation, but Yeosang quickly scoffed, snaking his belt out of the hoops of his pants in one swift motion before dropping it. “I’d like to see you fucking try. This pussy is mine.” Yeosang’s deep venomous growl made the younger vampire cower slightly, giving him a slight pout.

“Why do you get to go first.” From your angle, you could have sworn you saw Wooyoung stomp his feet, making you giggle lightly, catching the attention of all three of the men around you. Yeosang kisses your tummy lightly, pulling your focus to him alone, his hands gripping your hips and body snuggling tightly against your hot core.

“What’s so funny, pet? Finding enjoyment over us fighting over you?” Yeosang’s lips travelled up your navel as he kissed along your newly exposed skin since San had now successfully unbuttoned your top, revealing your perky, tight nipples on your plump and soft breasts.

“Yes sir…” you whispered, closing your eyes as you revelled in the feeling of his tongue sliding along your body.

“Fuck, she’s so good isn't she.” San covered his mouth with his hand, sighing at how obedient you had become. Reaching for your breast he squeezed your plump flesh together, pinching your nipples between his pointer and thumb. You choked out a whine as he rolled the pad of his finger over your sensitive bud, almost completely distracting you from the vampire between your legs.

“Come on, Sangie, hurry up. I want to be inside her so badly.” Wooyoung has hopped up onto the end of the pool table leaning on his hand behind his soft frame. His hand palming his covered crotch, panting slightly as he watched San and Yeosang ravish you. Your hazy eyes looked back to see San standing straight and tall behind you. Giving you a sweet smile that was hiding a sinister lust underneath.

Before you could say anything about what Wooyoung had said, you felt Yeosang’s thick cock head breached your tight pussy. “Oh FUck!” You bucked your hips, helping him slide into you deeply inch by inch until he bottomed you out. He was definitely girthier than Seonghwa, making you feel like the wind was being knocked right out of you.

“Shhit. This is the tightest pussy I’ve ever felt. Are you sure Seonghwa fucked you pet?” Yeosang began to ramble, pulling you down more so your ass was almost off the table. Sangie put his one hand under your thigh and hip, holding you still so he could slowly start thrusting into you, sharply and greatly. “So tight, so warm. Such a good little pet. You like being fucked baby? Bet you’d take all of us in one go if we’d asked.”

“Oh my god! Yes!!! please, Sangie.” You yelped at the top of your lungs just from the pure idea of having all eight of them. Pleasing them all. Dotting on them. You needed them just as much as they needed you. Yeosang gripped your shirt that hung open on the top and pulled you up until your face was inches from his and his lips, almost touching your own.

“It’s master, my sweet little slut.” He yanked you off the pool table, pulling out for a moment so he could help you walk to the couch and even though his movements were rough, his grip was gentle, holding you closely in a way. Lovingly. “Come on baby, bend over the couch for me.”

He gave your ass a squeeze before letting you fall on your knees on the plush cushions. The couch was facing away from the pool table, so when you leaned over the top of it, you could get a perfect view of the other two vampires. “Okay, new game.” Yeosang knelt behind you, holding your hips, rubbing his palm against your skin. “Whoever gets a ball in first gets to take over and fuck our precious baby here. Deal?”

You had to laugh as San and Wooyoung scrambled around to grab their own pool stick. Your smile was bright as you were about to say some cheeky remark but you slowly felt Yeosang enter your soaked pussy from behind making you only let out a shaky whimper. His hands gripped tightly on your hips as your eyebrows knitted together and your mouth fell into an ‘O’ shape. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Yeosang chuckled as he thrusted into your cunt in shallow motions. His hand gripped the back of your neck, pulling you up so your body was at an odd angle, but you couldn’t care less. “Last time I checked I’m not god’s pathetic son.”

Your fingers lased into the couch cushions, gripping onto it for dear life as you felt him slowly hammer into you faster. Your pussy would clench with each thrust making the most beautiful groans and whimpers fall from his lips. The hand that held the back of your neck, snaked around the front to clench tightly, blocking your airway just lightly, sending your brain into a fuzzy mess.

“M-Master….” You cried, collapsing onto the edge of the couch. Your legs are shaking, and your arms are no longer able to hold yourself up anymore. San and Wooyoung were bickering, yelling at one another as they kept trying to get a ball in the hole. That was until San bent down and shot one of his stripes by hitting Wooyoung’s ball before getting it into the end left basket.

Your glassy eyes could see San’s triumph, along with Woo’s high-pitched whine of defeat. The knot in your stomach was tightened with every thrust of Yeosang’s hips but before you could reach your climax he slipped out of your soaked cunt making you hiccup in a loud whine. “F-Ffuckk.”

“It’s okay, pet. Breathe…” You tried to take in a shaky breath as you felt your whole body being manhandled until you were sitting perfectly on someone’s lap. San’s naked lap, to be exact. His hazy smile got you blushing as he leaned forward to kiss your cheek so delicately.

“Don’t worry, sweet thing. I’ll take good care of you.” San’s cooe made you relax nicely against him as he lined his cock with your abused cunt. You were already so sensitive but somehow you were still craving more. The loud sound of pool balls whacking together got you startled but San stroked your cheek with his thumb slightly as he pulled your face towards his with his fingers. “Focus on me, baby. I want to see you come apart on my cock okay. No closing those pretty eyes."

You nodded with a short whimper followed by a simple yes that was so quiet you’re surprised San heard it. But then you remember that you weren’t fucking a normal man, but a beast in human form. A blood-sucking night-crawling beast that could kill you with his bare hands at any time. Your pussy clenched around his lengthy, and girthy cock making him groan. He slowly lifted your plump thighs up helping you gather a rhythm with your hips so you could ride him slowly. “S-sannie. Oh g-god please.”

“Such a good girl. Come on. Fuck you’re so tight...” You focused on his knitted brows and slightly parted mouth, seeing he was enjoying this just as much as you were. Your hips got faster as San started to buck upwards to match your movements. Your whole body was feeling like it was on fire, sensing you were close. He pushed your body up so he could help thrust deeper inside you. This left your tits to be right in his face, making him groan as he latched onto your plump flesh and sucked. Your breasts would be completely covered in hickeys by the time San was down them. And as his mouth traveled to the top of your breast you clenched around him, sucking him deeper into your tight cunt. He lost himself in your scent, the way you squeezed him and the sound of your pretty moans. He needed more, just another taste. He needed to taste the flavour of you when you came.

“S-San I’m gonna cum.” You gasped, tangling your fingers threw his hair.

“Come for me, baby. Be a good little human for me and cream on my cock.” He licked your skin before biting down, sinking his fangs into the top of your breast, jackhammering you at an inhuman pace. You screamed so loud that the whole manor would have heard, coming so much around Sans hard cock. You were it grew bigger inside you as your clenched harder, feeling him drink his fill of your red hot liquid.

“San.” A male voice called out but your head was too dizzy, feeling San continue his assault on your cunt and teeth in your flesh. “SAN!!” The voice got loud but your eyes began to droop feeling a wave of sleep erode through your body. You heard San lewdly growl animalisticly against you, still drinking your blood as his cock stilled tightly in you, letting him come deep inside you.

The voice before screamed again, but your eyes closed, and darkness took over before you could see or hear anything else.

—

Special Taglist : @yeorisanaxox @maeleelee @superbbananananana @hannahlovesateex @soobiverse @addriaenne @tunaasan @yeoifying @pksvie @kpetts @bts-army380 @innieontop @b-a-nshee-blog @sundayysunshine @ruru775 @staytiny816 @ssimplygxthic @idfkeddieishot @hyukssunflower @satsuri3su @koizekomi @cgriffin17 @skz1-4-3 @isiloiale @imperfect0angel @sugarnspice630 @yeorisanaxox @maeleelee @uarmytess @mxnsxngie @shuporangporanglinossss @nopension @sanhwalvr @gypsythrift @hyukssunflower @dearinsaniiity

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bless-my-demons · 6 days

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Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-Nine

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: does a handsy Jasper need a warning?

Notes: oh my god it’s been so long, I’ve been eating myself up over not posting. I’ve been working myself to death, but I’ve finally got a long weekend off and so I used it to get back to what makes me happy - this story! Omg I hope you guys love it🥹 I also have to go through and update my taglist later tonight, so bear with me on that until I add it!

Word Count: 1500

Series Masterlist

• April 3rd, 2006 • Forks HS •

Reader

Tingly.

That’s the state of my body this morning, the state of my mind.

Not only am I riding an emotional high from our conversation this weekend, but my dream last night… Good lord, that dream.

I can feel the echoes of his fingers on my skin, the coolness of his lips, the wet trail they would’ve left behind… the solid weight of what surely his body would feel like, pressed against mine. I can imagine all of what it would be like vividly, to be under him, to get carried away, to just explore-

“You alright, darlin’?”

His voice jolts me from the day dreaming stare I had on the locker before me, caught red handed. To make matters worse, that deep southern tenor questioned me inches from my ear, causing a blush to heat my cheeks to an almost uncomfortable degree.

“Perfectly fine, why?” I immediately busy myself within my locker so that I don’t have to face him right away.

“You do remember that I can feel you, right?” His voice is low and his hands find my hips tenderly, but the air changes around us.

My heart rate skyrockets, this is dangerous. His fingers flex against me and the death grip I have on this book in my hands turns my knuckles white.

“Jasper-” his name is a whispered warning, but also a plea.

“I know.” Instantly a cooling, soothing balm blankets our tension and I release the tightness in my chest. Leaning backwards into him I just feel tired all of a sudden, like I had run a marathon. “Let’s get out of here.”

His request sounds more like a demand and I twist in his arms, “Is that a good idea?”

“Darlin’, I don’t have many of those these days.” His mouth quirks up in a lopsided grin as he shoves all of my school supplies back in my locker, shutting it and tugging me along behind him towards the student parking lot.

Jasper

Something is on her mind, something dangerous. Something I absolutely want to know, something I’m not sure I have the strength for, but I can’t help it - it’s her.

I’ve never been more thankful for an overcast day with no rain: perfect motorcycle weather. Come to think of it, my sister had a knowing look in her eyes as my siblings all piled into their respective vehicles as I straddled my bike this morning. A decision that currently led me to now: Y/n and I leaving school before midday.

Those thoughts I interrupted earlier have her quiet, but her emotions are raging and it is driving me insane. Curiosity, need, nervousness - a dangerous concoction begging to overtake my rational mind. Separating myself from her feelings is almost impossible at this point, she is so well ingrained in me.

Finally arriving at my thankfully empty home, I shut my motorcycle off and offer a steady hand to help her dismount. Swinging my own leg over, I turn towards her and lean against it, observing her for a moment with crossed arms.

“What?” She makes eye contact as she struggles with the chin strap of my helmet.

Grabbing the helmet by the chin piece, I gently tug her forward between my legs, “Tell me.” I lace the command with neediness to encourage her to be pliant.

And judging by the way her lips part behind the dark visor, the immediate dilation of her eyes, and the weight of her hands settling on my thighs gently, I might’ve laid it on a little too thick.

Chuckling, I free her from my helmet and riding jacket. By the time I finish, she seems to snap from the daze and her hands clench on top of my legs.

“Not fair, Hale.” Feisty this morning.

I lean forward towards her ear with a grin as I stand from my bike to put away the gear, “All’s fair in love and war, sweetheart.”

Reaching to swat my chest, I grab her hand gently before she could injure herself.

Pausing as I hang my jacket up, her teasing response sends excitement through me, “Two can play at that game, baby.”

Stepping into my room, I realize too late what has her curiosity: my desk. Well, the art that occupies every inch, my art.

“What is all this?” Leafing through pencil sketches of my favorite hunting spots and pen etchings of my family at random moments, she gets to the important ones hidden below. Her breathing hitches and I know she’s found them, the ones of her.

Some are in pencil, some are in random felt-tip pens, but my favorites? Those are charcoal. A decently basic medium, but I feel like it captures so much more than anything else ever could. Maybe it’s because I use my fingers to smudge and shape her perfect curves and lines, but it radiates emotion in sweeping gestures and subtle shading - something that’s hard to capture with anything else.

“There’s-” awe, shock, surprise, they all shuffle through her and I’m on edge, waiting to hear her thoughts. “There’s so many…”

I watch her carefully examine each one and I smile when she chuckles at a few - some of her at school, some of her here in my home, moments I not only committed to memory, but to paper.

“Now you know what I do with my free time.” I smile through the minuscule anxiety that bubbles up at her seeing my secret hobby. Everyone in my family knows I draw, but they haven’t seen my drawings.

“Jasper…” I can tell she’s getting emotional, but a part of me is excited for her to see my innermost thoughts on paper, to see herself through my eyes - the unaltered beauty she contains.

“You haven’t even seen the ones I cherish the most.” Opening a familiar sketchbook buried under many other drawings, I reveal my favorites. “The very first ones.”

Her breath hitches, running a reverent finger down the first page. It’s the very first moment I saw her, crouched, scooping up papers on her first day of high school in Forks - absolutely radiant.

“You were a vision that day. A beautiful tornado that wrecked my world, I tried to capture every detail from memory because I never want to forget-”

Her hand finding my cheek breaks me from my explanation and my eyes find her watery ones, mouth open, searching for words clearly hard to get out, “Jasper…”

“I love you.” My confession steals her breath completely this time, the first time I’ve uttered these words aloud and it feels absolutely right. “I’ve loved you since the moment you hit me with that door. I knew I was absolutely ruined for anyone else and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Tilting her chin up with the tip of my finger as it wobbles at my confession, I smile, “Say something, darlin’.”

“I love you, too.” Now it’s my turn to go wholly still. “I knew from the moment I saw you I’d never be the same, I was yours-”

I couldn’t wait another second, I closed the minuscule gap between our mouths to seal these confessions. I love her and she loves me. Me.

Tilting her head back slightly as I cradle her, I take my cue to deepen the kiss, to pull her closer carefully. Groaning into her mouth, fuck I can’t get enough of her. Trailing kisses down her jawline as she tips her head to the side for much needed air, her gasps drive me to lift her onto my desk.

“Jaz…” her breathy plea of my nickname freezes me, panic seizing my actions.

“I am a gentleman, but only just barely.” My voice is gravel in my own ears, breathed down the slender column of her throat.

A shiver from her causes me to clench my jaw and attempt to gather myself.

“Maybe I don’t want a gentleman right now.” Her whisper damns me, it fucking sets me on fire.

A slamming door downstairs straightens my spine and my hands abandon the exploration of her. Fuck, my family’s timing couldn’t be better, but also worse.

“Honey, we’re home!” Emmett’s booming voice echoes up the stairs and immediately I know he knows, he can probably smell it.

Huffing, I help her regain her footing and straighten her clothes from the rumpled mess my hands made of it. I also take half a thought to smooth her arousal, a damn shame-but a necessity if we’re to face my siblings for the rest of the evening.

“Fucking Emmett.” Her frustration draws a chuckle from me as we make our way downstairs.

“I heard that!” My brother’s response causes her to roll her eyes at me playfully and I shake my head, my heart weighing much fuller in my chest as she plucks its invisible strings with her shit-eating grin.

Taglist part 1:

@aoi-targaryen @Min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @Blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea @foolsgoldxo @heartfilia01 @azuredgalaxies @geekysimmerthings @graciereads @ramen-girl-2424 @0hmydekiru @creeqvealley @Cherriebat @whichwitchisthebitch @dragon-rider-with-a-book @secretfairytailpetscookie @psychobitchsthings

#jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfiction #redamancy series #jasper hale x female!reader #twilight fanfiction #jasper whitlock hale #twilight #bless-my-demons #jasper hale #female reader insert

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novemberevenings · 3 months

Text

somewhere between the stars | chapter 1

Azriel is your best friend. The best, most brilliant, and dearest friend you have ever known. It gets harder and harder to separate your platonic and romantic feelings for him.

A/N: first chapter of this series!!! honestly wanted to write my own rendition of an angsty, mutual pining fic w my azzy <3 anyways this first part isn’t the longest but i’m posting it to motivate myself to write the next part!! (btw italics indicate a flash back!)

The night sky seems peaceful tonight, almost as if it were at ease. A chill night breeze brushes past, swirling in the soft grass in greeting. The branches of a nearby tree sway, the only sound being the soft caress of leaves. Lying with your head laid back against the grass, eyes closed in a mix of exhaustion and ecstasy.

At the feel of a soft, scarred hand brushing against your own, you open your eyes and tilt your head to the side. You’re greeted with a familiar and comforting sight. Your best friend's questioning gaze and furrowed brows make you quietly ask, “What's going on in that head of yours?”

It’s a phrase that you both have claimed as yours. When either of you needs to be dragged out of your thoughts, the other won’t hesitate to ask to ground you back to the present.

He’s quiet for a moment, trying to find the words that are jumbled up in his head. He turns to look at the sky once again before asking, “Do you think they’re watching us?”

“Who?” His question puzzles you, not quite understanding where it's coming from.

“The stars, the moon. I dunno, maybe the entire sky.” You’re used to his weird questions. It’s become a thing that you’ve got going on between the two of you. “If they are, I hope they don’t snitch on us.”

This earns you a light chuckle, his head slightly shaking from laughter. Realistically, the sight of two younglings watching the stars at night shouldn’t be a problem. But for a boy who has to wake up for training early in the morning and a girl who has to continue with her apprenticeship, they could get punished for being out this late at night.

“I like to think that they are. Watching over us, I mean.”

“Az, that’s kinda really creepy.”

He laughs indignantly, lightly shoving at your shoulder. It’s silent again, but you can tell he wants to say more, so you wait. “There’s just… so much out there, you know? It’s so big, and there’s so much we don’t know. I like thinking that, somewhere out there, someone’s looking out for us.”

You take a second to just marvel at the way he thinks. A sudden feeling of gratitude and pride washes over you at being one of the few people who gets to see this side of him. The side of him that’s bright and curious, hopeful.

You turn your head back towards the sky, looking at the stars and the empty spaces between them. Your best friend’s words are still in your head, trying to form an answer.

When you look back at him, you find his gaze already on you. He looks at you just like how he looks at the night sky, with reverence and utter devotion. It compels you to reply, “Well, regardless of who’s out there, I’ll always look out for you.”

He gives you a soft smile, the one that you’ve come to treasure and look forward to. “I’ll always look out for you, too.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Tucked into a corner in the library at the House of Wind, your eyes roam over the page you’re reading. You were catching up on some old texts, brushing up on your knowledge of some spells. As the sorceress of the Inner Court, you always wanted to ensure you could protect your family.

A clock nearby chimes, and you poke your head out to check the time. It was almost time for dinner, but you still wanted to finish the chapter you were reading. Going back to your book, it wasn’t long until the doors to the library slammed open, surprising a couple of priestesses nearby, an arrogant General waltzing in looking to find you.

“You know, Cass, they expect silence in a library.” Closing the book with a resounding snap, you stand up from the cozy armchair you’d been sitting in, returning the book to its rightful place on a nearby shelf. “Lovely to see you too, my dearest Y/N.”

You half-heartedly roll your eyes at him but take the arm he’s offering as he leads you out of the library. The two of you exchange stories of the day, Cassian recounting training with the Valkyries that morning. You listen to him intently, but you stop in your tracks when he says, “Az is coming home tonight.”

“He is?” Your eyes widen as relief washes over you, not realizing how worried and tense you have been throughout the past week since Azriel was gone on a mission.

“Yeah, sent Rhys a message ‘bout an hour ago.”

At your look of shock and surprise, Cassian follows up with, “He didn’t tell you?”

You softly shake your head, dismissing him. “I’m sure he was just really busy with work. It’s fine, Cass. Nothing to worry about.”

Your soft, encouraging smile did nothing to ease Cassian’s worry, but he didn’t push on the subject.

There had been this rift growing between you and Az. Both of you had been quite busy with your duties, Az especially. But you can’t help but feel there’s something else that’s causing this, and you hate it. Your friendship with him is one of the best things in your life, and the idea of losing him was… devastating. You don’t think you would be able to survive it.

But you plan on fixing it as soon as he gets back. A simple conversation will fix this, you’re sure.

“Alright, come on then.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It was a calm night in the House of Wind. Everyone had gathered for weekly family dinner, and all was well. Everyone except for Azriel, that is.

To say you were tense and anxious would be an understatement. Even a blind man could see just how worried you were. While everyone else was lounging in their seats and sipping their glasses of wine, you sat with your back straight, hands fiddling with each other nervously.

“Loosen up a little, Y/N! Cauldron, you look like someone just killed your puppy.” You roll your eyes at Cassian’s teasing. Sometimes, you worry your eyes would be stuck at the back of your head whenever you’re with him.

“Oh, give her a break, Cass. We all know why she’s acting this way.” Mor says, trying to lighten your mood.

And it’s true. Everyone gathered around you knows exactly why you were so tense and worried. Despite Azriel sending you a message that he would be back tonight, your worry would not disappear until you saw him with your own two eyes, safe and unharmed.

It was no secret to anyone how close the two of you were. Best friends ever since you met each other in Windhaven. Your friendship was one of the constants in your life, forever a source of comfort. He was your closest confidant, the shoulder you could always lean on, the first person you celebrate the good news with, and the first person to wipe your tears away when you cry.

He wasn’t just your best friend. He was… your best everything.

You tried your best to enjoy the night, joking with your family and catching up on each other’s day. Although your worry wasn’t completely gone, the presence of your family always put you at ease, love pouring through every interaction.

“As I was saying, wing-warmers should totally be a thing. You don’t know just how much the cold affects our wings. I feel like an oversized icicle flying around the–”

Cassian stops mid-rant as a figure appears in the doorway. Everyone follows his line of sight at his silence, your head quickly snapping towards the doorway.

And just like that, a week’s worth of worry and anxiety melts from your body. The sight of Azriel in his leathers, all seven siphons gleaming, is one you’ve longed for.

“Az,” you sigh softly in relief.

“Hi,” he replies. That soft smile you think is reserved just for you spreads across his face, eyes crinkling a little at the edges.

That one word was all it took for you to fly out of your seat, running towards him at full speed. He catches you, bringing you into his warm embrace immediately. You tuck your face into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms as tight as you can around his neck. In response, Azriel buries his nose into your hair, tightening his grip around your waist.

You pull back slightly, your arms holding his shoulders so you can better scan his body for any injuries.

At the worry in your face, Azriel asks, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You notice his attempt to lighten your mood and snark right back at him. “Nothing, just thinking about how much you stink.”

He lets out a chuckle, and you can feel his chest vibrate from your proximity. “And here I thought you missed me.”

You stay in his embrace for a little longer, feeling grateful that he’s returned unharmed, and take a moment to just look at him, reminding yourself that he’s back. A cough sounds from somewhere behind you. “Hello? Care to share him with the rest of us?”

Rhys’ impatient yet teasing tone makes you and Azriel laugh, pulling apart to let the other members of your family greet him.

You stand back, watching him embrace everyone else. Finally, you feel settled, like a part of you was missing, and now you’re whole again. You try your best not to think too much about what that might mean, wanting just to enjoy the fact that your best friend is back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

#azriel/reader #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #azriel x you #azriel #azriel shadowsinger x reader

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writersdrug · 6 months

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Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 7)

<- Previous - Next ->

Summary: It's time for your first mission working with Kortac. You're stuck reminiscing on the past, accidentally drawing similarities between it and the present. Additionally, you see a new side of Konig.

Chapter Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex, cursing, gore, blood, violence, bad attempts at using military terms (listen I tried to do my best researching this but obviously I ain't in the army)

Notes: Hey! Procrastination is a thing... and it had me in a chokehold these last few weeks. But - and I know I say this often - hopefully I'll get something else posted either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your patience and your kind comments - I love hearing them!

Ghost dragged me by the hand through the airplane hanger, making me stumble to keep up with him. He walked with purpose in his step, his eyes focused on his own thoughts. I bit my lip as I jogged behind him, excitement bubbling in my veins. He had sent me the usual “you up?” text – now, we were running around, trying to find a secluded but dangerously public place to satisfy our urges; something that was beginning to become a weekly occurrence.

He stopped in front of the ramp to the C-130 – one of the largest airplanes on base, used for carrying soldiers before they were airdropped. I looked at him with a confused expression.

Ghost was already looking at me, waiting for my reaction. He tilted his head towards the plane suggestively, gripping my hand tighter.

I suddenly understood what he was hinting at. “On a plane?!” I said with disbelief. “It’s not even in the air, what’s the point?”

Ghost huffed. “You said you wanted something other than my bed.” He replied with an accusatory tone. “What did you expect, your bed?”

I grimaced. Imagining Soap in the room across the hall, listening to me and Simon – and most likely getting off to it – it was the last thing I wanted to happen. “No… but an airplane?”

“Just trust me, ok?” Ghost tugged my hand, leading me onto the aircraft. “Bloody picky, you are.”

“I’m not picky, I just have common sense…” I muttered. Ghost ignored me.

I scowled as he dragged me further into the cargo hold. We moved towards the back, which was rather cramped, even though it was empty. Ghost sat down on one of the seats, close to the cockpit, and spread his legs. The space was small and awkward, and only allowed his left knee to move a few inches. He grumbled, getting up and moving down a seat, where he finally spread his legs apart. He finished the display with a smirk behind his mask, leaning back into the seat.

I watched the entire thing with my arms folded over my chest. “This is ridiculous…” I muttered, turning back towards the ramp.

“Why?” Ghost asked, slightly offended. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

I gestured to him, huffing out a laugh. “Just - this! There isn’t enough room for the both of us, the door’s wide open, so someone could just walk in and – “

“They’re not going to see us, Bonnie.” Ghost pulled me by the backs of my thighs and down onto his lap. I grabbed his shoulders as I felt myself sliding off of him, and he gripped my hips to hold me in place. “Relax, love.” He drawled.

For a moment, my heart stuttered. It was the first time he had called me something so endearing… although it was probably force of habit. I stilled my heart – it was never good when it got too involved in anything.

“If we do get caught-“

“I’ll pull rank.” Ghost stated matter-of-factly. He sat on the edge of the seat, allowing me to shuffle closer to his torso. He held my hips down as he slowly pushed his own into me, sending arousal shooting through my abdomen and making me gasp at the feeling. He pushed his balaclava above the bridge of his nose, then pulled me down by the nape of my neck and captured my lips in a kiss.

I moaned into the kiss in satisfaction; his hands on my hips and the taste of him – cigarettes and the whiskey he’d downed earlier that night – felt like a reward after the long day. I ground my hips against his crotch, feeling his hard length straining through the fabric of his cargo pants. He let out a low, guttural groan, running his hand further up my back. In a second, I raised my arms over my head, and he pulled my shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the aircraft.

He looked at me for a moment, kneading the flesh at my hips as his eyes danced over my skin. “You changed your mind rather quickly.” He said with a cocky grin.

“Shut up…” I replied.

Ghost quickly smacked the side of my ass, making me yelp in surprise. He then grabbed my chin, not roughly, but enough to capture my attention. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Care to try that again?” he asked in a cautioning tone.

“’M sorry!” I said quickly through smushed cheeks.

“’Sorry’ what?”

“’M sorry, sir.”

“Atta girl…” he drawled in a deep voice, before releasing my chin. I couldn’t stop the needy whine that came from my throat. I started grinding my hips on his crotch again, urging Ghost to continue.

He chuckled. “Pretty little slut – do you need me?” he asked, and I immediately nodded. “Use your words, love. Tell me what you want.”

I felt myself clenching around nothing at his deep, gravelly voice. “I- I want you inside me, Ghost.” I admitted quietly.

Ghost clicked his tongue. “Didn’t catch that, doll. Speak up for me.”

I fought a scowl rising in my throat. “I want you to fuck me.” I stated firmly. Normally, I wouldn’t stand for being humiliated like this – except I wasn’t standing. I was straddling Ghost’s lap, grinding on him like a bitch in heat, and following his every order like my life depended on it. And, honestly… I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I would never fold like this, or let myself be bossed around, for any other man – not in a million years.

Ghost laughed. “Well, before we get that far…” he began unbuttoning my pants, igniting the fire in my lower abdomen. I bit my lip impatiently, watching his hands take their sweet fucking time as they worked down the zipper.

“… I need to get you ready f’me, yeah?” Ghost said teasingly. In the next moment, he pulled down the waistband of my underwear and slid two fingers past my clit.

I sucked in a short breath between my teeth, digging my nails into Ghost’s shoulders as he flicked his fingers over my clit. There was no rhyme or reason to the rhythm, making each flick send jolts of pleasure from my cunt and into my chest.

“Goddamn, there you go…” Ghost cooed as he watched my face contort from the pleasure.

“Bonnie?”

I started bucking my hips as Ghost traced along my lips, groaning as he watched me unravel myself above him. I could tell he was getting off from my obedience – the way I threw my stubbornness to the wind whenever he had control of me was like a drug to him.

“Hey, Bonnie-“

“Look at you.” He commented. I opened my eyes when I heard him unbuckling his belt. I looked down at him – I could see his pupils had dilated, and he was now panting in desire. Even he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Fucking finally…” I whispered.

“Quiet.” He ordered as he pushed his pants down his legs. He pulled out his-

“Bonnie!”

My eyes widened as I was snapped back to the present. I had been staring – glass-eyed and pupils blown wide – at the exact same seat Ghost and I had sat in earlier. Except, I wasn’t on that same plane. I was on Kortac’s C-130 as it flew us out to the mission point.

I looked to my left – Konig was bent over, hands on his knees, staring at me with a confused expression.

“You alright?” he asked. “Is the mini-you in your head bothering you?”

I scoffed. He hasn’t let me live that down ever since I mentioned it. “I’m fine, Colonel. Just tired.”

He straightened up, towering above me at his usual, freakish height. “Well wake up. We’re almost there. Let’s see if you’re as good as Ridgeback says you are.” He then walked away, pulling out his tablet and fiddling with it. It looked comically small in his hands.

Roze shifted in the seat next to me. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s always bossy right before we rendezvous. Gets him in the game, I think.” She tightened her tactical vest around her waist.

“I’d hate to see him on a bad day…” I mutter in her direction.

“You and me both. Imagine a bear, with a gun, on- I don’t know, cocaine or something…” She replied, earning a chuckle from me.

I looked back at Konig. He sat down in the same seat I was staring at moments before. He leaned back, resting his head against the wall and spreading his legs wide. He placed his hands on his thighs. He breathed deeply, like he was trying to calm his nerves. I dragged my eyes over his form – he was huge – I never really paid attention to just how large he really was. He was lean, slightly on the more muscular side, but he had to be pushing… six-eight? Six-nine? I looked at the girth of his thighs. I imagined what it would feel like to straddle his lap… Would it be comfortable? I thought about how Ghost and I had sat in that seat… Except I imagined Konig in Ghost’s position, his large hand on the small of my back, his torso against mine, his fingers in my-

Fuck. I was getting in over my head. I had to stop.

Konig looked at me, his head still leaning against the wall, locking his eyes with mine.

FUCK. I turned my head away quickly – too quickly. I can’t do this. I can’t let this happen again. I pointed my head down at my feet, pretending the floor was more interesting than Konig.

Don’t do this. Don’t do this, y/n. Remember how bad it ended last time? Why you ended up working for Kortac in the first place? You don’t want that again. Just focus on the mission. Focus on your job.

When I looked back at Konig, he was looking at the ceiling. I thought, if I concentrated enough, that I could see his brow furrowed under his mask. His hands were still on his thigs, but they were now tense, gripping at his thick muscles through his pants. His fingers were long, rough, and sturdy, his nails were short… I couldn’t help but drift back to the image of them plunged into my-

Konig’s eyes darted towards mine.

I huffed and looked away again, at the opposite end of the plane. Fucking get it together… I felt my face flushing – as long as I didn’t look in his direction, he wouldn’t see it… right?

I sighed. I need to be spayed…

-----

“Briefing hostages. Stand-by ‘til further notice.” Roze’s voice echoed over the comms. She, Juno, Oni, and Zero had made it to the hostages. Castillo had helped get them there smoothly, and now it was up to Konig, Horangi, O’Connor, Fender, and I to finish taking out the check points. Majka, Ridgeback’s second-in-command and our current operator, had cut comms for the enemy. Konig and Horangi had already started clearing their checkpoints – there wasn’t much coming from their end of the comms, so I assumed they were managing fine.

I made it to the top of the tower I was in, hiding behind the wall outside of the checkpoint I needed to clear. The entire location of the rendezvous was run down – possibly an old, abandoned power plant. The buildings were in a deteriorating state, making it slightly harder to work my way closer to the enemy soldiers in the room. But I was good at being quiet, so I managed.

I carefully peered around the edge of the doorway – the hallway outside of the room was dark enough to conceal me from the soldiers. Two were positioned outside of another wing in the room; one was facing forwards, staring at the room in front of him and guarding the door at his side. The other was looking out the window, completely ignoring the room he was supposed to be guarding. Inside the room appeared to be three more soldiers, two of them sitting at a computer and bitching about the comms being broken, and the third tweaking his sniper foxhole.

They’re a mess… I thought to myself. I smirked, knowing this would be an easy take-down.

“Bonnie to Majka. I’m engaging.” I said into my comms.

A few moments of silence before he responded. “Clear, sergeant. Give ‘em hell.”

“Copy.”

I took a few deep, quick breaths, flooding the oxygen into my blood and keeping the adrenaline at bay. I jumped around the corner and sank a knife into a soldier’s neck. He gurgled and dropped his gun. Another soldier turned at the commotion – I ripped the same knife from the first body and threw it. Rather than shank him, the edge sliced across his jugular. He barely had enough time to lift his gun before he collapsed, grabbing his throat. I grabbed his body as it fell, quietly guiding it to the floor. I picked up my knife and sank to my heels, pressing myself against the wall. The doorway to the next room was to my left. I exhaled silently. In a swift moment, I snatched one of the fallen soldier��s gun and shouldered it. Never hurts to have another one.

I heard the guards in the other room, alerted by the sounds of the struggle. One of them rounded the corner – I hid in the shadow, waiting until he had fully stepped beyond the other room. I used my knife to slash across each of his Achilles tendons, easily cutting past the material of his boot. He fell with a loud cry – I quickly used the butt of my gun by bashing it against his head, knocking him out in two hits.

I saw one of the remaining two guards in the room through the doorway. I quickly threw my knife at him and lodged it in his neck, but not before he managed to pull the trigger on his gun. He fired a few shots as he went down, gun pointed at the ceiling and ricocheting off of the concrete. Before the last soldier could react, I quickly turned into the doorway, shooting him dead in the face with my gun. He flopped against the back of the wall, body twitching for a moment, before he went still.

I turned back around, looking at the third soldier, lying on the ground. I fired one last shot into his head, ensuring he was dead.

I exhaled heavily. Not my smoothest work, but still timely.

I stood in place, assessing the damage around me. The strong scent of iron began to overtake the room, blood seeping from each body. I pulled my knife out of the fourth soldier’s neck, wiping the blood off against his sleeve and sheathing it. I sighed and began scavenging through the bodies for anything useful.

“Bonnie, how copy?” Majka’s thick accent filtered through the comm.

“Checkpoint two cleared.” I responded. I ripped out the magazine from a gun identical to the one I stole, shoving it into my vest. “Upgrading my inventory a bit.”

“You just got started!” he said, a bit frustrated and shocked.

I gave the room a last glance. “And? I just got finished. What’s my next move?”

There was a brief pause. “O’Connor, how copy?”

The click of O’Connor’s comm came on, followed by the sounds of struggling and muffled punches and hits. “Fender and I are still occupied!” he grunted.

“Roze, position status.”

“Package secured, hostages briefed.” Roze’s voice was hushed.“Ready to move, and enemies inbound towards us.”

“Castillo, how copy?”

“One klick out, ready in FFP. Waiting for target.” Castillo responded.

“O’Connor?!”

“Busy!!” O’Connor said, irritated; the faint sounds of gunshots firing echoed in the background.

“Majka, this is Bonnie:” I said quickly among the commotion. “Sir, I’m in range to follow the package from here. I can clear the path with Castillo, I’ve got eyes up to the objective rally point.”

I heard a disgruntled sigh on the other end of the channel. “You don’t have your sniper rifle, Bonnie.” He said.

“My checkpoint had a foxhole. I’m set up with one.” I looked around me; the walls separating me from the outside weren’t that thick, but they would be enough to hide me. “I’ve got decent cover, too.”

“For fucks sake…” Majka sighed into the comm. “Then get on it.”

Immediately, I kneeled beside the sniper rifle the one soldier had been adjusting. I tweaked its position, changing its trajectory until I was satisfied. I unshouldered both of my guns, before sitting in front of the rifle and getting comfortable. I angled it until I saw the building where the hostiles were being kept in my scope.

“I’m in FFP.” I relayed over my comms. “Ready on your command, Majka.”

“Copy.” Majka replied. “Roze, you’re clear to move.”

I watched closely through my scope as Roze exited the building, followed by the hostages and the rest of the team. She led the group, Juno and Zero covering the sides, and Oni covering their six.

“Bonnie, Castillo, talk to me.” She said quietly.

“I eliminated three hostiles on your path, clear to move forward.” Castillo’s voice echoed.

I focused on the area to Roze’s nine ‘o clock. Three enemy soldiers were slowly making their way towards her – I quickly fired at them, taking two of them down with a single bullet as they were lined up perfectly. The third one ducked down, frantically scanning around to find where the bullet had come from. I aimed my crosshair at him and pulled the trigger at him – he dropped to the ground within the same second.

“Three more eliminated. Your nine is clear.” I said to Roze.

“Copy.” She replied.

I continued to scan ahead of their path with my scope. A few times, Juno and Oni fired to the right of the group, followed by a few shots from Castillo. I knocked out two more targets on their left. The rest of the path went smoothly, and they made it to the exfil point. I scanned what parts of the area I could see from my window, searching for any rogue soldiers that might be left. O’Connor and Fender had finished clearing their checkpoint by then. After a few more minutes of that, and the “ok” from Majka to pack up, it was clear that there wasn’t anyone left on the field besides the Kortac team members.

“Well, that was sloppy on their part.” I commented.

“Ridgeback said it would be.” Majka replied. “Said the hostiles were a big enough gang that ended up with powerful weapons, and just wanted some cash. Kidnapped an easy bunch of relatives of a government official. Probably thought they had a chance.”

I chuckled. “So the payout won’t be great, I’m assuming?” I shouldered my guns, grabbing the sniper rifle and exiting the room.

“Don’t be so sure about that…” Juno piped into the conversation, shouting over the sound of the helicopter blades. “Europeans officials are loaded. Plus, they typically pay a lot to save their reputation.”

“You mean their families?”

“Potato, potahto.” Juno replied.

The rest of us reconnected at the exfil point. As with most of the teams I had gone on missions with, I was the cleanest out of everyone. O’Connor and Fender looked tired and worn, blood splattering their uniforms, dropping their guns with their bags and collapsing onto the seats of the aircraft. Horangi, cleaner than some, seemed to be riding off of an adrenaline high, clapping everyone on their backs and declaring a mission well done – despite that it had been a rather easy one.

I dropped myself onto a seat and looked at my hands, only painted with a few smears of blood. I then leaned my head back against the wall. I thought of what I could have done better. I could have caught the one soldier sooner before he hit the ground – that would’ve kept the others from being alerted. I could have been quicker shooting the last one. Cutting the guys heels… that was flashy. Unnecessary. Same for throwing my knife the second time. I could have just shot the last two. Would have made things quicker.

Suddenly, I heard heavy bootsteps climbing the ramp to the plane. I casually opened one of my eyes, then the other, staring in shock.

Konig dragged himself up the ramp. He was covered in bloodstains, across his vest, his mask, his pants – he held his gun, the end of it spattered in blood. His knuckles were tight under his gloves as he clutched the barrel of the gun in one hand, the other hanging by his side. His shoulders were tense, heaving up and down with each, heavy breath, and his body language was laced with venom.

His eyes were the worst part; they peered through his mask, wide and blood-shot. They were dripping with a post-massacre adrenaline. They stared directly ahead as he appeared to calm himself. He looked like a wild animal that had just killed its prey – for fun.

He ripped out his mags and tossed his gun into the pile, taking a seat directly across from me and grabbing his tablet. He began aggressively punching the buttons on it, his eyes still sinister and cold. He muttered under his breath in German, his voice low and gravelly.

I shivered slightly, before looking away from him and back at the ceiling. Is this what Roze was talking about? I thought.

---

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

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#konig x reader #konig x reader smut #konig cod #konig smut #call of duty #cod x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x reader smut #ghost cod #cod #konig #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader

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yougavemeyourheartyouknow · 6 months

Text

On thin ice (Hockey Player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure Skater! Fem! Reader)

Omg y’all, first I know i said I’d post this on Halloween, but… I couldn’t help myself! Second, the time has come… the last chapter😭. I just wanted to thank you all for reading and for all the support! It means a lot to me. The usual, not proofread.

(Y/N)- Your name.

Alcohol usage, mentions of cannabis, cursing, no smut but a small small smaaaall make out bit. Miguel finally learning to use his words.

Word count: 1.6k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 15 [Final]: Maybe I’m too busy bein’ yours to fall for somebody new.

—

It felt like you were in the opening scene of a cheesy 80’s horror flick. Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads was blasting through the frat house you were currently at, a red solo cup with spiked punch in one hand, and the other grabbing on to Kate’s hand while she dragged you through the crowd with a laugh, your purple cape swishing behind you as you make your way through the sea of drunk college students, all dressed up in different costumes.

Eventually you found yourself in the kitchen of the frat house, it was small and despite the only people in said kitchen being you and your group, it still felt a bit crowded but what room wouldn’t feel a bit crowded when you were tipsy from alcohol, and every room had either someone in a costume, Halloween decor, or both. You took a sip of your drink as you looked over at Xavier with an amused experience as he playing around with his collapsible staff he got for his costume, letting out a small laugh when he almost knocked over a spider decoration that was hanging off one of the kitchen cabinets, before he let out an embarrassed cough and sheepishly collapsed his staff. You knew that you shouldn’t have let Kate give him an item he could use as an actual weapon when he was going to be drinking.

You were dressed as Raven, Logan was beast boy, Kate and her boyfriend were starfire and Robin and Xiaver’s roommate who you couldn’t remember the name of was cyborg. You’ve got to admit, the cape was fun, and you were thankful that Kate didn’t force you and Logan to paint yourselves gray and green respectively. You 5 have been making your way down frat row for the past 2 hours at this point, hopping from one party to another, and were planning on leaving for the next one, but wanting to raid the candy basket and take a few beers for the road (aka, the 4 minute walk).

Tonight was great, a nice way to unwind after the absolute roller coaster of emotions you’ve been on recently, school was starting back up, skating practices have only been getting more intense as you and Logan practiced for sectionals, and you still had absolutely no idea what was going on between you and Miguel, despite the good terms you two have been on recently, you two would be relatively snarky with each other, but there wasn’t any underlying malice like there was before a few months ago. Your thought were pulled pulled out of your head and your hand was tugged and you found yourself following behind Kate and the rest of your group and you all exited through the back door in the kitchen, and makes your way to the next frat house, Logan unlocking the gate that separated the front yard with the back one.

As you entered the next party, the song Goo Goo Muck was finishing up before transitioning to The Create from the Black Leather Lagoon, both from The Cramps. Despite your best efforts, and both your and Kate’s tight grip on each other’s hand, you had found yourself becoming separated from a majority of your group and you wondered deeper into the crowd, the stench of alcohol and weed filling your senses as you felt Logan’s hand tightened on your shoulder, you had officially lost the others.

You and Logan decided to make your way up to the second floor of the house, wanting to see if there was a way to get out to the balcony that you saw on your way in, knowing that you’d get a good view of the night sky. Eventually you two did make your way outside on it, Logan leaning against the railing while you were sitting down on the floor, using your cape as a makeshift blanket to keep your ass from touching the wood. Both of you sipped on your stolen beers as you both talked.

“I think I saw your ex on the way up here.” You throw out the information to him nonchalantly, causing him to choke on his beer a bit, a hand coming up and patting on his chest to try and help regain his composure.

“Um, you-you did? Where?” He stuttered as he attempted to act normally, but you noticed as he straightened up a bit from his position against the railing.

“By the bathroom-“ you didn’t get to finish before he ran back inside, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you were left alone outside, knowing it was better to not follow him and attempt to stop him. Taking a sip of your beer, your eyes drifted back to the night sky, how you wished you could actually see the stars, but due to all the light pollution that was only a simple wish, grabbing your cape and wrapping it tightly around yourself in an attempt to help warm yourself up, mentally cursing yourself for not wearing tights as you looked up at the gray night sky.

“¿Qué estás haciendo aquí solita, princesa?” A deep voice asked you from behind you. [What are you doing here all alone princess?]

“Hey to you too, Miguel.”

A silence fell over you two, before you heard his heavy footsteps make their way over to your direction, you didn’t glance over to look at him until you saw him entering your peripheral vision. Your lips pull up to a small smirk, a hmph leaving your mouth as you glance up at him, before you finally break the silence.

“A vampire? I was expecting more from you.” You teased with a snort, causing his to scoff in response, before moving to go sit next to you, which surprised you slightly but you decided not to say anything.

“I’m the phantom of the opera, and I don’t wanna hear it from you, (Y/N). What are you supposed to be? Some sort of witch?”

“No. I'm Raven from the teen titans! Ya know, the DC character?”

“Oh, sorry. All my superhero knowledge comes from Peter and he’s more of a Marvel guy-“

“I’m more of a Marvel person too and even I know who that is!”

“Well I’m not a nerd like you are.”

“Rude! Says the one dressed as a character from a musical.” You giggled with a scoff, and it wasn’t until your giggles subsided that you realized that you’ve two gotten closer in proximity during your little back and forth. You thought, maybe it was just you and the alcohol in your system, but when you noticed the sudden shift in Miguel’s eyes, and the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallowed some saliva.

You both just sat there for a while, staring into each other’s eyes, neither one daring to move, afraid that if you did, the moment of tension between you both might disappear, so, for what felt like an eternity, you both just stared at the other. Eventually, you grained enough control over your body to open your mouth to say something, to say what? You weren’t sure, but before a single syllable could even leave your mouth, Miguel took the opportunity to lunge towards you and smash his lips into yours. Immediately, you melted into the kiss with a sigh, your hands going up and snaking around his neck before pulling him closer, causing a quiet groan to leave Miguel’s mouth. Small whimpers and moans escaping your lips as his rough hands landed on your exposed thighs, the goosebumps that were already forming on your legs became more prominent as Miguel slipped them down and onto your ass, giving your cheeks a firm squeeze, before pulling you into his lap. You let out a squeal as your hands drop down to his chest instead, your knees landing on either side of his hips, the thin cape of his phantom costume doing little to help cushion them from the hard cold wood of the balcony. Your head was swirling, both from the alcohol and the make out session, and it didn’t help that you could feel his bulge from where you were sitting straddled on top of him, he pulls away first, given you both a chance to grasp for air, before his head dips to begin peppering kisses down your jaw and neck.

God, you’ve never wanted this man more in your life then you did right now, and you know that Miguel was feeling the same way about you, but you both knew there was a better time and place for you to both succumb to those urges, so with a final kiss your neck he pulled away from you, you shift to sit on his thighs, both of your chest rising and falling rapidly in attempt to catch your breath. Miguel’s hand goes up to wipe some saliva and lipgloss from the corner of his mouth.

Once you were able to get yourself back under control, you cleared your throat before speaking.

“Look, Miguel. As much as I love making out with you on a bi-weekly basis, I don’t think I’m in a place, mentally for this to continue without at least knowing where we stand with each other. I-I don’t care if you only wanna be fuckbuddies, or make out buddies, or if you want to try for something serious-but I just want to know what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“I want all of you, (Y/N). I want you to be mine, and only mine, and I wanna be yours.”

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @miguel-ohara-eater @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @sukioyakio @minimari415

#miguel o hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #on thin ice fanfic #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 x reader #astv miguel #astv spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara au #figure skating au #hockey au #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 fanfic #spiderman 2099

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fuckinthewholetown · 26 days

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Fallingforyou - Matty Healy Chapter One

I’m kind of shitting myself posting this but, it is what it is. If you think it’s shit, feel free to tell me, but please be nice or I will cry. I’ve also only skimmed over this so if there’s any typos, please tell me so I can fix this.

Tags: Slight angst, swearing, mentions of religion, gay, probably bad writing

Word Count: 2309

As much as you love touring, you’re the first person to admit it can get repetitive. Wake up in a random hotel room, get to the venue, sound check, perform, and repeat.

However, today is different. Today you’re performing a sold out show at Wembley Stadium to 90,000 people. This is the day you’ve dreamt about since you were five, giving one woman performances to your parents in your living room. And the cherry on top is you get to do it with four of your best mates.

Your day starts off as normal, doing your skincare routine in a hotel bathroom in the heart of London. You’re living the dream. That is until you hear a knock at your door. As you’re walking over to answer it, you pull your hair out of the makeshift pony tail it was in previously. Before you could fully open the door, it barges open and your guitarist and best friend Maddie O’Connell storms into the room.

“We need to talk.” She says, pacing back and forth.

“Ok, calm down. There’s absolutely no reason to be this stressed. Take a crystal.” You say, pulling some green agate out of your bra. You’re met with no response, just a deadpan stare. “Noted, not in a crystals mood. What’s up, this is the best day of our careers, it must be something big to get you this stressed.”

“You have to look me in the eye and promise that you’re not going to freak out” She says, sitting down on a seat in the corner of the room.

“I promise. Unless you’re shagging Matty Healy or Harry Styles, then I revoke that promise”

“Not exactly… It’s Ross” She says, refusing to look you in the eye. You stay silent, internally freaking out but refusing to break the promise you made to her. She takes this as you not understanding what she’s on about “Ross Macdonald… The bassist of the”

“Yes, I know who you’re on about!” You say, cutting her off before she can say anything else and send you into even more of a mental breakdown. You stand up, now it’s your turn to pace the room. “You’re fucking the bassist of my favourite band and you just conveniently don’t tell me until 5 hours before the biggest show of our careers? I love you to death, but you need to get better timing babes”

“I know,” she says, still refusing to make eye contact with you, “and we’re not fucking. Well, we are but it’s more than that. I like him, and I think he likes me.”

“How long?”

“Six months…”

“Six months!” This information is enough to stop you in your tracks, “you’ve been shagging the human equivalent of Jesus for 6 months and you forgot to mention it!”

“I’m sorry! I knew you’d freak out because you’re a big fan and I wanted to make sure it was serious before I got your hopes up. However, I’ve kinda been forced into telling you.”

You sit back down, confused over her last statement. “What do you mean forced into telling me? If one of the girls is secretly a bitch and forcing you into this, we can become a group of four. I’m a big boy, I can sing and play an instrument at the same time.” That half joke is enough to make her finally make eye contact with you.

“It’s nothing like that, the girls don’t know yet you’re the first person I told. I’ve been forced into telling you because they’re coming tonight, all four of them are watching the show.” And that statement is the straw that broke the camels back, you’re officially freaking out.

“What? They’re watching us tonight? All four of them are watching us? Oh god, I have to look Matty Healy in the eyes knowing I’ve read the dirtiest tumblr fanfiction about him. I read one of him as a priest, oh god I’m going to hell!” You say, putting your head into your hands. Maddie on the other hand does not see the seriousness of this situation and bursts out laughing.

“Him as a priest? Didn’t strike you as the religious type.” A chuckle escapes your lips as you finally return the eye contact.

“I went to an all girls catholic school actually, I love Jesus.”

“You came out of that school with minor alcoholism and even more gay than you were when you went in, I think Jesus would be disappointed.” She quips back. You laugh, standing back up from your slight mental breakdown.

“I’m happy for you, I really am. When are they getting here?”

“Just before sound check.”

“Before sound check?” You respond, falling back into your mental breakdown. “That’s in less than an hour. I’m meeting my celebrity crush and your new fuck buddy in less than an hour? Get the fuck out, I need to do a full face in 20 minutes!”

You all but push her out the hotel room, scrambling to get ready for the biggest moment of your life.

After somehow managing to do your hair, makeup, and put on a hot ass outfit in under an hour, you walked into the green room at Wembley Stadium. What met your eyes was what could best be described as a sight out of 16 year olds you’s wet dream. All four members of The 1975 sat around the table, gossiping about who knows what. As you walk in, the room goes silent. Luckily, your bandmates are there to quell the awkwardness. The pianist of your band, Sienna Turner is the first to speak.

“Boys,” She says, standing up and dragging you by the forearm into the circle, “this is Y/N!” You were expecting to be met with blank stares, but instead the boys jump up to greet you, tackling you into bear hugs. It’s a warm welcome off everyone. Well, mostly everyone. The man you’ve loved since you were a teenager stays sat in the corner of the room, closed off and refusing to even acknowledge your existence. You figure it’s probably just him being an introvert, so you go over to introduce yourself personally.

“Hey.” You say, hoping for any kind of response. You don’t get one. No acknowledgement, no hey back, not even a snarky comment, he just ignores you. This is not how you imagined this day would go.

“Damn,” you follow up, “I knew you’re an Aries, but I didn’t think you’d act so much like one.” You let out a slight chuckle. He, on the other hand, does not find this so funny.

“Good God.” He responds, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of his drink.

He hates you. The man you’ve been enamored by for almost 10 years despises you. The only possible explanation is he’s seen your private TikTok reposts of endless thirst traps of himself. Nevertheless, you had a show to do. And if there’s on thing you can do despite external feelings, it’s fucking shit up on stage. You nail sound check, sounding better than you ever have. Probably a mix of adrenaline and frustration over the fact that your childhood crush seemingly hates you for absolutely no reason.

You exit stage after sound check, immediately going back to the green room to get ready for the actual show. As you’re getting your makeup and hair done, conversation flows. You and your friends are talking to the boys as if you’ve been friends for years and you didn’t just meet them an hour ago.

“So, Y/N. You’re into like crystals and shit aren’t you? What’s that like, I don’t really get it.” George says, turning all eyes on you.

“It’s not for everyone, but I find comfort in manifestation and things like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think incense will cure cancer but keeping rose quartz in my bra definitely isn’t going to hinder my love life.” You laugh, trying to keep your response brief.

“Bullshit.” Comes from the corner of the room. The first words you’ve heard from Matty since your brief conversation earlier in the day. The room falls silent and you feel a red hue cover your face. The longer the silence, the thicker the tension in the air. You clear your throat, trying to restrain yourself from going over to him and giving him a black eye.

“Like I said, it isn’t for everyone. I was cleansing my room once and my mum thought I was smoking weed. When I told her what I was doing, I think she’d have preferred if I was doing drugs.” Everyone starts laughing and the room erupts into conversation again as if nothing happened. Every so often, you catch a glimpse of Matty in the corner of your eye. He never seems to move, his phone in one hand and a beer in the other. As you zone out of the conversation, your mind moves to deciphering why on Earth he could hate you so much. Nothing comes to mind, you’ve never met him before and you’ve definitely said nothing bad about him publically. Quite the opposite in fact, as last year a drunk video of you singing Robbers went viral on TikTok.

You zoned out for so long, before you knew it it was time to go on stage and perform the biggest show of your life.

“Ok girlies!” Ava Fletcher, the drummer in your band and also the member you’ve known the longest, speaks up. “This is it. No pressure but there’s 90 thousand people out there who’ve come specifically to watch us, so if we put on a shit performance our careers are probably over. But absolutely no pressure, just have a good show.” You laugh, leaning into the group hug you do before every show however this one felt different. The sense of adrenaline and fear within the group was unlike anything before. There was a lot riding on this show, and if you fucked it up a lot of people would be disappointed. However, all of these feelings are washed away when you’re wrapped into a hug by George.

“Blow their fucking minds out their.” He whispers into your ear. All feelings of nervousness are washed away when you realise you’re being hugged by the drummer of your favourite band. You go around, being given motivational speeches by every member of the band. Well, almost every member other than, you guessed it, Matty. He encouraged every member of your band except you, walking off before you could get to him.

The beginning of every show is always the worst. Hearing the roaring crowds increases your heart rate tenfold, but the stakes are even higher for this show. With one last group hug, you put your in ears in and run on stage, ready to start the show. As the show goes on, you occasionally glance side of stage to where the boys are standing. Everytime you make eye contact with them, they give you an encouraging smile or thumbs up. Matty on the other hand continues to evade eye contact, choosing to watch a different member of the band. However that didn’t stop you from putting on one hell of a show, and that’s what you did. You blew the metaphorical roof of that stadium, it was arguably the best show you ever did. The adrenaline high you had once you ran off stage couldn’t be ruined, even by a moody former celebrity crush.

The moment you exit stage, you’re immediately crushed by a massive group hug involving your band and the boys. Despite all of this, the only thing you can focus on is the hand around your waist. It’s Matty. You don’t think he meant it, instinctively putting it there when he was dragged into the hug. Nonetheless the area he was holding felt like it was burning under his touch, his calloused hands leaving marks on the skin underneath them. The group hug is cut short when he pulls away, clearing his throat slightly and going back to cradling his drink.

You do the rounds, talking to everyone backstage and discussing the nuances of the show and how amazing the audience were. This repetitive conversation continues until you get back around to him. You expect to be met with no eye contact, maybe an eye roll if you were lucky, but what happens next surprises you.

“You did alright out there, Princess.” The confusion on your face is palpable, at both the nickname and his sudden talkative nature. “Princess, like Princess Kida from The Lost City of Atlantis. It’s funny because,” you cut him off.

“Our band name is Lost Atlantis, yeah I get it. It’s funny.” You respond, a dead pan expression on your face. The tension was obvious, you could cut it with a knife. That is until Moon Dixon, your bassist, comes up behind you and wraps you in a hug.

“We’re all going back to Maddie's place to have a few drinks, you joining us?” She says, mostly to you but including Matty in the conversation as well.

“Yeah, let me get into something less sweaty and gross first though.” You laugh, trying to hide your disappointment as he walks off to join the rest of his band.

Get over yourself, you thought to yourself as you walked back up to your dressing room. Just because Mattys a dick doesn’t take away from the fact that this is the best day of your life. You just performed your biggest show ever, and three out of the four members are lovely. But despite this, you can’t get the curly haired man out of your mind. You see him every time you blink. How have you gone from badass pop girlie to pathetic simp in the space of three hours?

Chapter Two

#matty healy #ross macdonald #george daniel #adam hann #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction #Matty Healy fanfic #matty healy x reader

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archiveikemen · 23 days

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Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 25 (Crazy Love)

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

If life was a fairytale, it’d be easy to be happy.

As long as you refrain from “doing the wrong things”. For example…

Entering a forest that’s off limits, opening a door you shouldn’t, knowing a forbidden secret, and—

…

Kate: Thank you so much for the help you’ve given me all this time.

Colleague: I’m going to be so lonely without you here. But I’ll always be hoping for your success. Take care, Kate.

My colleagues bid me farewell after I told them that I would continue my service to the imperial court.

I reassured them that there were amazing people at the court, and working there would be like a promotion.

They were delighted to hear that. But had I told them what my new job truly entailed and who I was living with, their response would definitely be much different.

At least, that was me a month ago.

I said goodbye to the post office that smelled like ink and walked away, wiping away the small feeling of loneliness.

…

London, the capital of England, was the world’s most prosperous city under the reign of Her Majesty Queen Victoria.

Everyone lived their lives by their own desires, and today was no different.

In a corner of the street, I spotted a poster of my lover.

(Ah… it’s a poster of Liam.)

The poster announced the performance of a new play at The Scala called “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame”, with Liam starring as the main character.

And the premiere was tonight.

— Today, I’m lying to Liam about one thing.

Liam was unaware that I was going to watch the play.

(Liam got me tickets for the closing show, but I bought myself tickets to the premiere without telling him.)

(As a big fan of theatre, of course I have to secure tickets for myself!)

(Also…)

Liam was always gifting me bouquets of flowers, so I wanted to surprise him tonight by buying him flowers too.

(Fufufu, I hope I can give him a surprise.)

…

I went to a flower shop in the ever so lively Leadenhall Market to choose flowers for Liam.

(What kind of flowers should I get him? There's Gerbera, Cosmos… Ah.)

Amongst the various flowers on display, I found some modern roses that resembled the colour of Liam’s hair.

Modern roses were the flowers Liam often gifted me.

(... Yep, I’ve decided. I’ll go with these.)

Kate: Excuse me. Could you kindly put these modern roses into a bouquet for me, please?

Florist: Sure! These flowers are pretty rare and we don't always have them in stock. You’re very lucky.

Florist: By the way, did you know that modern roses have a very wonderful meaning in flower language?

Kate: No… what do they mean?

Florist: Modern roses signify “gratitude”. For example, you’re grateful to have met someone.

(“I’m grateful that I met you”.)

(I don’t think I’ve ever said that to Liam.)

– Flashback Start –

Kate: Thank you so much, Liam. I’ll be sure to cherish them well, so that they’ll keep blooming for a long time.

Kate: If I display them by my room’s window, they’ll definitely bring a smile to my face tomorrow morning…

Liam: If flowers can make you smile every morning, then I’ll give you however many flowers you want!

– Flashback End –

Ever since we met, Liam has gifted me countless bouquets of flowers that signify “gratitude”.

(What was Liam feeling each time he gifted me those flowers?)

(Has Liam… ever received such beautiful flowers from anyone?)

Throughout his life, there was probably not a single person who celebrated his existence.

Liam was physically and mentally wounded, to the point where he felt hopeless and wanted to give up on himself.

But I believed that Liam possessed a pure heart that cherished the people around him dearly.

It must've been so painful for him to live in such a cruel world with that kind heart.

I wished that he would throw his kindness away instead of bear the burden of his pain and suffering, but that was definitely not the kind of person Liam was.

(I can’t turn back time, but I can still express it to him from now on.)

(From now on, I’ll tell him often how grateful I am for him.)

(I’ll continue celebrating his existence.)

…

Seated close to the seats on the first floor of the theatre, I watched the curtains rise for “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame”.

– Flashback Start –

Tom: Liam, overcome your struggles. After “Hamlet”, play the role of Quasimodo in “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame”.

– Flashback End –

Just like he promised to that day, Liam portrayed himself as Quasimodo and overcame all odds as him.

Quasimodo (Liam): “This world I live in can be so cruel that there are times I want to look away from it, abandon it… and even stop living.”

Quasimodo (Liam): “But, even so… I have to keep on living!”

Quasimodo (Liam): “Until the day this heart stops beating…!”

The final lines were followed by an atmosphere so silent you could hear a water droplet fall.

— One second, two seconds, three seconds.

Then came a roar of non-stop thunderous applause.

I stood up from my seat and clapped for Liam as he stood under the spotlight during the curtain call.

(Ah… he shines so bright. So, very, bright.)

His graceful bow towards the audience made him look like a beautiful star people longed for, but I knew that my hands could touch that star.

Curly Haired Lady: … *sniffle*

Freckled Lady: Goodness, why are you crying? … *sniffle* I’m crying too. Something feels different about Liam, don't you think?

Curly Haired Lady: … Yeah. I can’t really say it well… but he seems much happier than before.

Hearing the voices of Liam’s passionate fans made my lips relax into a smile.

(Ah…)

My eyes met Liam’s from afar.

Liam: :D

(H-He noticed me.)

Liam flashed me a broad smile when he saw me, and winked at me.

Liam: ;)

Curly Haired Lady: Kya! H-He just…! Liam just winked at me!

Freckled Lady: Y-You fool! Liam winked at me! ME!

Curly Haired Lady: Nooo, me! Liam~! I love you!

Freckled Lady: Not fair! I love you too…!

Liam: :0

Liam: Haha.

…

One of the theatre members told me to wait for Liam on stage, and so I stood there on the empty stage after all the audience had left the theatre.

The spotlight above was so bright, I involuntarily squinted my eyes.

(... With a light this bright, there’s no escaping from or hiding anything.)

Whether it's in the light or in the pitch darkness, there was no such thing as remaining completely unharmed.

Sometimes, life can be so cruel that we feel like throwing it away.

Liam: Kate.

Kate: … Liam.

Despite that, I never want to let go of this miracle — every moment when our eyes meet, when we're breathing together, and when my heart races with excitement at the sight of him.

However embarrassing it may be, I held tightly onto even the tiniest bits of hope, wanting to live.

Until the day darkness comes for us.

Standing face to face with each other, I held out the bouquet I had hidden behind my back to my lover.

Kate: Congratulations on the premiere, Liam! Also…

Kate: Thank you for being alive.

Liam: T-These flowers…

Liam: … Haha. … It’s my first time hearing someone thank me for being alive.

Liam awkwardly accepted the bouquet.

— He smiled with genuine joy.

Kate: I didn't expect you to see me from the stage. I wanted to surprise you.

Liam: These eyes were made to look for you.

Liam: By the way, what were you looking at just now?

Kate: I was looking at the spotlight. It’s so bright.

Liam: When you lie down here and look up — it’s even brighter.

Liam laid down on the floor and patted his side, motioning me to lie down next to him.

Following him, I joined him on the floor under the bright spotlight.

(Woah…)

Kate: The lights kind of look like the stars in the sky, don't they?

Liam: … Yeah, I know.

Liam: Hey, Kate… do you know of this saying?

Liam: The moment you get to a place where the stars are within an arm’s reach, you’ll find it difficult to breathe. Within seconds, you’ll be on your way to heaven.

Liam: I don’t really understand, but for some reason it’s just always in my head.

I found myself staring at Liam’s profile as he spoke.

Kate: … If you could go to that place where you could touch the stars, would you want to?

Liam: If I could touch the stars… huh.

Liam reached a hand towards the spotlights hanging from the ceiling.

Liam: Even now, I still long to touch something as beautiful as the stars.

I recalled the day when he told me that everything apart from himself was beautiful.

Liam: But…

He pulled me close with an outstretched arm, firmly holding my shoulder.

Liam: Right now, however dirty or ashamed I feel… I much prefer being able to touch you like this.

Liam: I always will.

Liam: Perhaps, this way, I’ll always be happy.

As Liam spoke with a soft smile—

I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the neck.

Liam: … It tickles.

Liam just living on with a beating heart was enough for me to see him as the most beautiful person in the world, like the brightest star in the sky; and yet, he would most likely spend the rest of his life refusing to acknowledge his beauty and wishing to become a star while carrying the burden of his permanent scars.

(Even if you never realise how beautiful you are, I’ll always stay by your side and watch over you.)

Liam: I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Liam: I don't know what will happen, but I think it’d be nice to have you with me…

Liam: I hope that you’ll have me in your eyes tomorrow too…

Kate: What are you talking about…? I’ll always be waiting for you to spend our tomorrows together, until you get sick of it.

Liam: Then… let’s be together until the very last second of our lives.

Liam: Ahh, I’m looking forward to tomorrow…

Enveloped by the light that resembled the stars in the sky, we waited for our tomorrow to come.

Our hearts beating together.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #otome #cybird otome #ikevil main story #liam main story #liam evans

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juletheghoul · 9 months

Text

A/N; I’ve decided to try and post a bit more consistently. The plan, for now, is to post twice a week—a series chapter update, as well as one of the standalone pieces I have in the works. My confidence lately has been the pits, but I’m not going to let it ruin my life, or my desire to write. This is fun, and I still want to share the things that I create. If you’re still here and reading, thank you, hope you enjoy 💜 (p.s., I know the picture I used isn't Max, but that's how I see this version of him. A little younger, a little leaner-hungrier) (p.p.s, right now there is no plan for a sequel, but I never say never. Asks are always open, and so are the dms)

Pairing: Max Phillips x F!Reader

Word Count: 8.2K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) mentions of loneliness, and alcoholism, language, He's a vampire (went with classic vampire lore for this one, needs a coffin, no sunlight), piv sex (wrap it up!), vaginal fingering, violence, talk of death, blood and some non-graphic gore, period piece

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist

It starts with a prickle to the back of your neck, the hairs there standing on end, a shiver running along your spine.

The main thoroughfare is busy as you make your way home, the lamplights illuminating the steps of your usual path. It's different tonight though, despite knowing the area like the back of your hand and recognizing more than a few faces as they pass, there is a tinge of something threaded through it all.

You find yourself scanning every shadowy corner, peering through the windows on the businesses you pass, hoping to spot whatever it is that has your blood pounding loudly in your ears.

Do I want to know?

You catch yourself from stumbling at the thought, your imagination conjuring images of a dark, evil figure lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. You shake it off, scolding yourself for letting the fear get the better of you.

Your home is visible now, just at the top of the hill and the relief is mounting, counting down the steps until you can tuck yourself safely inside, and lock the world out.

“Excuse me, Miss.” His voice is low and pleasant, but it sends you a good few inches into the air from the fright. “My deepest apologies, I did not mean to scare you.” Your heart is pounding, your hand pressed up against your chest in some unconscious attempt to steady it. You let out a slow breath before answering, laughing shakily as you gather your thoughts.

“Oh my, forgive me-” You let out another loud sigh, “You gave me such a fright.” You smile up at him out of habit, taking in his handsome face and worried expression.

“No no, please–accept my sincerest apology.” He bows slightly, his head low in deference and you wave it away. “I saw you from across the street, and I thought, I simply must introduce myself.” He smiles now, and it’s a little jarring, his teeth are perfectly straight and bright white. “I’m Max.” He holds his hand out and you take it without thought, watch him almost in a trance as he brings it up to press it to his lips. The kiss is cool, and it brings curiously vulgar thoughts to the forefront of your mind. He tilts his head, expectant.

“Oh! Sorry yes, It’s nice to meet you Max-” You cannot help but watch his mouth as you introduce yourself. “I’ve not seen you in town before.” You leave it there and his smile widens, his eyes scanning all around taking in your surroundings. You don’t fail to notice the expensive cut of his suit, the fabric rich, decadent.

“I’m new in town you see, just arrived this morning.” He towers over you, broad of shoulder, slim through the hip. “I see you are unaccompanied, which shocks me.” He offers his arm and again, and you move to take it without much thought. “May I walk you home?”

“Yes, of course.” You agree, and begin to lead the way, ignoring every warning young women seem to learn practically at the breast, calmly walking with him up the street towards your home. “Where did you come from?” Your attention turns to the feel of his arm in yours, solid and strong underneath his layers.

“Oh, I come from all over, I'm somewhat of a roamer.” His smile is roguish and you get the impression he might be remembering another young lady on another street, in an altogether different part of the world. “How long has this been your home?” He guides you gently as you make your way up the hill.

“I have lived here all my life.”

“Do you like it here?” He doesn’t ask it unkindly, there’s a genuine curiosity there.

“I like it fine enough, but I have always wanted to see other parts of the world. It's difficult though.” You sigh, he frowns in the corner of your eye.

“How so?”

“Well, it is difficult to travel unaccompanied–it also requires funds I currently do not possess.” You laugh a bit awkwardly, surprised with your own candor.

“Oh-” He seemed taken aback for a moment and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, men usually don’t pay much attention to the struggles of women. “-yes of course. How ignorant of me.” He was frowning at his feet.

“This is me.” You pulled him away from his thoughts, gesturing to your house.

“This is lovely, you and your family must be very happy here.” He smiled warmly, guiding you up the steps to the large wrap around porch.

“Yes well, we make do.” Your tight lipped smile wasn’t getting past him, his hand held yours for a moment, pulling your attention from your door to him.

“I don’t mean to overstep–are you well?” He held your hand in both of his now, a worried expression plastered on his handsome face.

“Yes-I, I’m sorry, yes. I’m fine-” He watched you intently, studying and suddenly the words were spilling from your lips, unbidden. “-I’m just alone most of the time, my father works, or drinks, and my mother disappears to avoid the melancholy. My sister is wed and living her marital bliss across the city and I am sort of left to keep everything together.” The thoughts were always present, hiding in your throat, in the pit of your stomach, in the clenching of your jaw when the house was continuously empty. It was a welcome respite to be able to let go of them, for a moment at least.

He hummed his acknowledgement, the worried frown in place.

“That is unfortunate.” He was choosing his words carefully. “If you are partial, I would very much like to spend more time with you.” He kissed the back of your hand once more and a momentary madness took hold of you.

“Would you like to come in?” His eyebrows raised and you hurried to clarify, “I could make you a cup of tea, maybe you could tell me about your travels?” He nodded graciously and a slow creeping smile overtook the frown as he walked up the stairs towards your now open door. His eyes flashed with something but it was gone just as quickly–no sign of danger as he crossed the threshold.

“You’re too kind, I would love to.” You closed the door behind him.

He seemed bigger once inside, somehow broader than before. His eyes were bright within the dim foyer, the honey brown of them alert and lively and lovely. You led him towards the sitting room with a shy smile, the thrill of having a gentleman caller in your home without a chaperone sending your heart a flutter.

Maybe I’m too trusting.

The thought crossed your mind, taking up space until his smile shooed it away once more.

“How do you take your tea? Or would you maybe prefer something stronger? I think there’s some brandy hidden away for visitors.” Your hands felt numb, the nerves of being alone with him catching up to you.

“What would you prefer?” He made himself comfortable on the settee, and you noticed his choice with interest.

“Well, the brandy is rather nice.”

“Brandy it is. Can I help with anything?” He made to get up and you hurriedly put your hands up to stall him.

“Nonsense, one moment.” You walked away quickly, ignoring the pounding of your heart and soon you were standing in front of him once more, brandy glasses in hand. He took one from you graciously and once you were seated beside him, you took a generous gulp, wincing slightly at the burning in your throat. He swirled the drink in hand, bringing it to his nose, taking in the aroma and for a moment you felt like your father, just knocking it without savoring.

“It smells wonderful-” He brought the glass to his lips and you did your best to pace yourself.

“So, tell me about yourself.” You put the glass down and waited, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading throughout your limbs already.

“Oh no, I’d rather hear about you.” He placed his glass next to yours, leaning back with open arms facing you. “I’m very curious as to how no one has snatched you up just yet.” He said it with a friendly smile. “You must be of age to marry?”

“Yes, I am no more wise than you are on the subject.” You reached for the glass once more, needing something in which to focus the nervous energy in your hands, which led you to take another obscene gulp. Half your glass already gone, what would he think of you?

“Have you had many would-be callers? I would have thought your father would be fighting them off with a bat.” He picked up his glass, swirling it as he spoke.

“Not really, there was a young man who came calling, but he was indifferent as to which sister would take him, so he left empty-handed.” Your nerves calmed with the third gulp, so did the burning and now there was a pleasant, full body buzz flowing through your veins.

“Well. The men here must be blind.” His eyes flashed again, something vulgar and exciting all at the same time. He put his glass back down, moving so he was sitting a little closer. “Your father would have trouble keeping me away.” He took the now empty glass from your hand and set it next to his rather full one.

“Why’s that?” You watched him with baited breath.

“Well, because I would be ruthless in my pursuit.” He moved closer still. “Would woo you tirelessly.” His hand came up, his thumb resting softly on the plush of your bottom lip. You sucked in a breath, acutely aware of the hot spike of arousal in your belly.

“And–and if I were to deny you?” your voice was curiously breathless, such was the effect he had on you.

“Would you?” He moved closer, his eyes fixed on where his thumb rested on your lip, “Would you deny me?” He was so close, the tip of his aquiline nose nuzzling softly against your own. His lips so close it would only take a nudge to kiss him.

“No-” You knew you wouldn’t, this enigmatic man who’d appeared out of thin air, appeared out of some long forgotten dream, or perhaps a prayer. “I would not.”

“May I kiss you?” He nudged your nose with his once more, the clean scent of him engulfing your senses.

“Please-” You didn’t get the chance to finish the word before his lips pressed against yours with an ardor that burned through your whole body. His fingers curled around the nape of your neck, caressing the sensitive skin there while his tongue sought entrance to dance with yours. He pulled a whimper from somewhere in your throat before he pulled away, kissing your cheek, and then again, just below your ear.

You’d been kissed before, but never like this.

He smiled, his gaze roving over your face greedily, no doubt taking in the lust blown expression shining back at him.

You gulped.

“I would decidedly not deny you Sir.” You let out a shaky laugh, feeling as the excitement and arousal flowed through you. Dampening your undergarments, hardening your nipples.

“I thought not.” His thumb came up to brush against your lip once more, his eyes focused on your face so intently, it felt as though everything else had disappeared.

“Take me to bed.” The words spilled out of your mouth unbidden, shocking even you and your stomach sank well into the floor when his eyebrows raised. “I-I’m sorry to be so vulgar-”

“Do not apologize to me, there is no sin in desire.” He stood, holding his hand out for you to stand before him. “There is no vulgarity in pleasure between two people, so long as both are willing.” He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, moving to your mouth once more to take the remaining coherent thoughts right out of your head.

Up until today, your life had been, for the most part, predictable. There had been a basic formula to how your hours were spent, where you’d go, what you’d see, even who’d you speak to. You’d thought about it that very morning, the errands you’d have to run-what you’d wear. Whether you’d see your father intoxicated or not.

Seeing a beautiful, naked man was not on the list of possibilities. For that gorgeous, naked man to have you practically mewling underneath him would never have crossed your mind, at least not that early in the day.

The bed creaked with every thrust of his hips between your legs, his cock hard and heavy inside the wet clutch of your cunt.

“Does that feel good?” He huffed out a laugh, his white teeth flashing as he moved a little harder. It was hard to articulate exactly how good it felt and he took your quiet moans as a challenge. “More? Is that what you want my darling?” his elbows came up to rest beside your ears, bracketing your head before he snapped his hips faster, smiling at the way your mouth opened in a silent scream. “There it is, that’s what you like huh?” His voice should have been breathless with the amount of exertion he was exhibiting–but every thrust knocked any coherent thought right out of your head. He shifted to one side, reaching down to slide his fingers around the pearl of your pleasure, thrusting you headlong into your climax. He slowed down, grinding slowly while you crested, no doubt making a mess of the sheets underneath you.

“I could stay here for days.” He punctuated his words with a delicious swirl of his hips, burying his face into the crook of your neck while you caught your breath, your hands finding their way into his hair.

“If it’s to be like this every single time–I’m inclined to let you.” You pulled his face up to kiss, needing to taste his mouth again.

“Oh it definitely would.” He bit his lip, watching you as he spoke.

“You’d ruin me for all others.” You ran your nails down the muscles of his back, feeling how they corded and bunched with each movement, the coolness of him perfectly complementing your almost feverish warmth.

“I plan on it, plan on spoiling you rotten.” He kissed you quickly before pulling away and for a moment you thought he might spill his seed on your belly, but he made to move you.

“I would ask you–” Your tone made him pause, a frown on his face. “Beg of you, not to spill inside, I don’t wish to have any children.” It might have ruined the mood of the night, but a child would have ruined your entire life. His features relaxed, a soft smile blooming on his handsome face.

“I cannot make children, I am sterile.” He pulled you up from your place, both of you kneeling on your bed, his tone sincere. “And even if I could, do you think I would just abandon you?” His hands caressed your back, moving down to hold onto your backside. It was so lovely to have intimacy like this, the loneliness of your days highlighted now in the comfort of his touch.

“Well, to be quite honest I’m not sure what you’d do. I’ve only just met you–” You sighed, his mouth kissing a trail from your shoulder up to the sensitive skin of your neck, “-you should know, I don’t usually do this. I’m not in the habit of taking men into my bed so quickly.” Your fingers curled in the short locks of his hair.

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, pretty.” His lips were still pleasantly cool, all of him was. “I just want to make you feel good.” His hands came up to cradle your jaw before he licked into your mouth, giving you the kind of kiss you’ve only dreamt about in the dark quiet hours. “Now turn around, I want to take you from behind.” he bit your lip, a tiny little nip that had you dripping and you turned to obey.

His big palm pressed against your spine, pushing your top half down into the mattress before he grabbed your hips, pulling you to him a little rougher than you expected. It made you gasp and within a moment he sheathed himself in your tight heat. A hard thrust that knocked the air out of your lungs.

“Your wet little cunt is dripping around me-” He sounded as wrecked as you felt, his words fueling the fire of your arousal, “-come up here.” He pulled you up, his arm wrapped around your middle to press you up against the solid wall of his chest, his chin instantly settling on your shoulder, lips pressed against your ear as he set a brutal pace. He sang the song of his pleasure directly into your ear, it flowed all around you, combining with the wet obscene sounds of your joining to push you further and further into a bigger, more intense climax.

One of his hands moved down, slipping between the lips of your sex to pull you apart, the other sliding up to palm your breast. With a few perfect circles you screamed, digging your fingers into his arm as you clenched around him.

There was a sting.

A sudden sharp pain at your neck that pulled you out of the haze of pleasure for a moment before it was replaced with something otherworldly. A direct current flowing through your fingers and toes, through your nipples, through the gates of heaven between your legs.

It was enough to make you lightheaded.

You blinked, finding yourself laying back on your bed with Max standing near the door, fixing his overcoat.

How did you get dressed so fast? Why am I so exhausted?

You tried to call out to him, surprised to find your limbs heavy, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Sleep now, my love.” You heard him speak, his voice sounding so far away. “Sleep, I will see you soon.” A cool, feather light kiss was pressed to your brow before the world went dark.

Whether it was the sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains, or the nightmare, or possibly a combination of both that pulled you out from the depths of sleep, you’d never truly know. A vision of something hunting, something tearing at flesh, a bone crushing bite flitting through your mind in those first few seconds upon waking making you shudder and turn towards the darker side of the room, avoiding the glaring light in your eyes.

What a horrible dream—wait, what happened again?

It had just been there but now it felt like mist, dissipating far too quickly for you to grab a hold of.

It was gone.

A knock at your door had any remaining musings about it evaporating into nothing.

“Yes? Come in-“ You croaked out the words before clearing your throat.

Your mother waltzed in, already dressed for the day making you frown. She was fussing at her skirts, unbothered—or uncaring that you were still in bed, instead she spoke about a trip she and your father were taking, how the house would be your responsibility for the next few days and that she would see you when she got back. She didn’t wait to hear your thoughts or concerns, or to even ask if you were feeling well, she was gone as quickly as she’d appeared. Leaving you still in bed, studying the time on your pocket watch with confusion.

Something seemed off, a long stretch highlighted the pleasant soreness between your thighs and then his face popped into the forefront of your thoughts. How could you have forgotten?

The events of the night before were crystal clear, to a point. You’d been walking home, he’d introduced himself and things had gone well. You’d invited him back to your home—to your bed. Everything was replaying as though you were reliving the night itself, up until he’d pulled that second climax out of you, after that, things were blurred.

No.

Not just blurred, not just hazy. That would imply there were memories to fog up, this was something else, something aggravating.

You let out a frustrated groan, tossing in your bed to bury your face into your pillows.

I wonder where he is now, wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

The jaded, realistic part of your brain said don’t count on it, and after all, why would he care to come back? You’d opened up your doors and your legs, gave him everything you had to offer and he’d left without so much as a fare thee well. At least, not one that you could remember.

Face the facts, you gave it up, and now he’s gone.

You were out of breath and not for the first time since waking that morning. Your heart raced as you stopped just outside the general store, needing a moment before starting your usual trek up the hill. The night was blessedly cool, a gentle breeze ruffling the sleeves and collar of your dress and it was only while you were distracted that he found you once more.

“Hello my sweet, I hoped to find you out and about, and so I have.” He smiled his bright white smile, reaching out to bring your hand to his mouth.

“Max-“ you frowned at him, unable to hide the shock of actually seeing him again. “I—hello, I’m sorry I-“ you floundered, unsure what to say. He seemed taken aback by your response.

“My apologies, did you not wish to see me again?”

“No! It’s not that, no I’m very glad I just—well to be perfectly blunt I didn’t actually think I would.” You blurted the words out, throwing caution to the wind. He brought that out in you it seemed.

“Oh-“ his eyebrows raised into his hairline. “I see. You thought I’d seduced you and then left you to pursue other conquests.” His tone was light, but there was a hurt in it and it made you feel guilty.

“Forgive me, I misjudged you. I am very happy to see you again.” You gave him your biggest smile and he returned it, forgiven.

“No need.” He kissed your hand once more, pulling you to hold onto his arm. “May I accompany you home?” He gestured towards the hill.

“Yes, that would be very helpful, I am feeling a bit lightheaded today I’m afraid.” You laughed, lighthearted but he didn’t join.

“Are you well?” He matched your pace, pulling you slowly towards the house.

“Oh yes, nothing to worry about. Must have been that brandy yesterday. Doesn’t tend to agree with me.” You patted his arm and he dropped the subject.

“Aside from the brandy, how has your day been?” He smiled warmly, his stride slowing down to match yours.

“Well enough.” You sighed, “My mother and father have gone away for a few days, so I have been alone.” You tried to keep your voice neutral but his expression told you he wasn’t buying it. “It is the way things are.”

“Do they not worry about you?” His eyebrows were drawn together in confusion. “Do they not care?”

“I’d rather not know the answer to those questions.” You left the rest unsaid, he didn’t press the issue. “Let’s speak of happier things. How have you been settling in? Are you close by?”

“Yes, just down the lane, a street over. My house is nicely settled but my days are too busy to go out and meet my neighbours. Thankfully I’ve met you though.”

“It isn’t a very big place, there are people no doubt dying to meet you.” You thought about the debutants, the rich single ones who would have taken one look at Max, and gobbled him up.

“Anyone in particular I should avoid?” He said it conspiratorially, leaning into you and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“No one too villainous.” You patted his arm as you reached the little walkway outside your house. “Come in, sit with me a while.”

“Of course, I’d love to, I need to hear all the local gossip.”

You’d really only meant to invite him in for conversation this time. To have him sit with you in the dim light of your sitting room, listening to him speak about any and everything but somehow- you’d found yourself underneath him once more.

Your face was pressed against your pillows, your hands like talons, gripping onto your sheets while he straddled your thighs. His hands were holding the globes of your backside open while his cock speared into you again and again.

He kept your legs closed making his sex feel so much bigger, made it feel like he was splitting you open in the best way.

You panted into the fabric, dampening it with your breath as he fucked into you—moving your body a fraction with every thrust, the friction of it against your nipples made you ache with arousal.

“You’re so wet for me my sweet, so tight around my cock.” He spread you open lewdly and you knew he was staring at the place you were joined, no doubt watching himself disappear into your body. “You’re going to milk me dry—reach down and touch yourself, I want you to come before I do.“ he sped up, groaning when you clenched around him.

You swallowed thickly as you reached down to obey him, shocked at how much arousal he's pulled out of you, feeling the soaked-through patch of the sheet on the back of your hand.

It only takes a moment, your fingers slipping through your folds with a well practiced swirl and your body tightens up, the coil winding tighter and tighter and you feel him press his chest to your back, his breath in your ear and when the pleasure finally bursts like a firework—a sting.

Euphoria—a wet gush somewhere below you and a pained moan from you, or him, maybe both of you, it’s hard to tell.

You blink.

Or, you try to blink.

Your eyelids are so heavy, it’s hard to open them but you finally do. Light is streaming in through the window, that cannot be?

Your brain feels slow, like molasses on a cold day, your limbs are so heavy and it takes what feels like hours before you can lift your arm to check the time.

It is well past noon, and it doesn’t make sense.

There’s a note on the table where your watch is and you stare at it for a moment, trying with all your might to read the words;

It was lovely to see you again my darling, I had a wonderful time. If you’re partial I would love to call on you again. I hope you slept well, you looked so peaceful when I left. See you soon. Max

You put the note down and focused on gathering your strength, ignoring the ache in your body, and the fear in your gut.

You moved at a glacial pace, both physically and mentally and you ignored the deep-rooted fear in your belly, that you’d caught the coughing sickness.

Does it start like this? Will I feel weaker and weaker until I cannot move? When does the coughing start?

You shuddered and shook your head, afraid of the loops your mind was jumping through, trying with all your might to focus on the tasks at hand. Your room needed to be tidied, the linens on your bed had to be cleaned and so you went about stripping the bed. A few drops of something dried a dark brown had stained part of the sheet, your stomach sank further still when you realized it might be blood.

Okay, just calm down. Everything will be fine, you are not sick.

You gathered the sheets, and your strength, and went about doing what needed to be done.

It took a long time, too long and instead of heading out to run your errands you decided to stay in. Make yourself something warm and hearty for dinner, make yourself a tonic. That would have to work right?

The sun set as you finally settled in to sit by the fire for the evening, falling into your fathers chair with a groan. The doorbell rang though and you seriously debated not answering, your eyes shut tight, the internal battle raging between your health, and your manners.

“My sweet? Are you well? It’s Max-“ he spoke loudly and your heart raced, making the decision for you.

“Yes! One moment Max!” You rose unsteadily, inching your way towards the door as quickly as you could with how you were feeling. His face lit up when you opened the door, it fell soon after though, seeing the strain of it plain on your face.

“Oh–” He made his way past you into the foyer. “-Are you quite well?” He moved to help you over to the chair, kneeling before you once you were seated.

“No Max, I’m afraid I’m a bit under the weather.” You tried to keep your voice light, tried to avoid his penetrating gaze. “You shouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t want you to catch whatever it is.” You pulled the light blanket higher up on your shoulders.

“Oh I very much doubt I could catch anything you might have.” He took hold of your hand, kissing the back of it quickly before moving to sit in the chair opposite. “What are you feeling?” His brow was furrowed, the gears in his mind turning smoothly.

“I feel tired.” The words were a sigh, compounding the sentiment. “Just bone tired, almost as though I cannot catch my breath.” Your hand came up to rest on your chest as you spoke. “My thoughts are slow, every part of me feels like it’s been slowed down—including my wits I think.” You took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “Worst is I cannot contact my mother and father, I fear something may happen to me while they are away.”

“I can stay with you for a few hours, but something tells me you’re going to be just fine.” He winked and you couldn’t help but smile at his optimism. “Do you need anything? I can make myself useful.”

A thought popped into your head then, a fear—the fear.

“Would you mind laying with me for a time? In my bed? Just laying and talking?” It felt almost pathetic to ask him, this young, vibrant, healthy man—spending his night with a young, possibly very sick woman.

“Of course my darling, I would be happy to. Come, I will help you.”

To your credit, you’d both laid there in the soft candlelight for a long time, talking about all of the different places he’d been and all of the different places you wanted to visit. He made you laugh, made you forget about how horrid you felt; made you feel special and wanted and so it inevitably led to you both being naked in your bed.

Your feelings of weakness were now replaced with a mounting pleasure. His mouth was a steady suck at your nipple, his tongue circling the sensitive tip mercilessly while his hand worked away between your spread legs. Two thick fingers pumping, a thumb gliding, his tongue–a gorgeous dance being led to the tune of your pleasure.

His cock was flushed with blood, hard and heavy against your thigh and leaking his pearly arousal onto your skin. You couldn’t help but reach down and wrap your hand around it, collecting everything that leaked from the tip to give him a stroke; try to make him feel at least half as good as he was making you feel.

He moaned onto your skin, his hips chasing the friction of your slick fist, quicker and quicker until he groaned deeply, spilling his passion onto your thigh. And then his eyes found yours, the whites of them gone–the whole of them blacker than night and terrifying and then you felt it.

A prick.

Strangely familiar.

There was no time to dwell on any of it though because his fingers were still pumping, his thumb still swirling and the force of your climax was enough to make you scream, then the darkness came.

Glimpses of light plagued you, much like the dreams. One moment you were being chased by some huge, unseen monster, skirts whipping behind you through the night, a bloody grin never far behind. Then you’d open your eyes and be tossing and turning, sweat soaked and feverish in your own bed.

It felt like hours.

Hours of running, hours of tormented sleep, hours of confusion and god knows what else.

I’m dying.

The thought came to you during a precious moment of clarity and all it did was scare you.

Your eyes opened again, the light had faded, was it night? How many hours, days had gone by?

“Max?” It felt like another dream, this one cruel because he was there, healthy and glowing and sitting by your side.

“I’m here, my darling.” His voice cut through the delirium, his hand a cool respite from fire burning just underneath your skin.

“Max-” Your voice was a hoarse croak, “I-I think I’m dying.” Tears streamed down your face, leaning into his hand with the little strength you had left.

“Yes, you are my love, but you don’t have to.” He stroked your face, leaning close to press his lips to your feverish brow. “You have a choice.”

“I don’t understand-” Was this another dream?

“If I leave you now, you will be dead by morning.” His voice was steady, “But there is another way. I could make you like me and then we can be together forever.”

You couldn’t die now, there was so much to do, so much to see, and Max–he could have been the great love of your life and it wasn’t fair.

“Like you? Max, I don’t want to die.” The tears flowed faster, fear and despair running rampant.

Why couldn’t I have met you years ago?

“You don’t have to, I can make you like me.” He lifted your hand in his, placing a soft kiss at your wrist. “Would you like that? Do you want to be with me forever? I cannot help until you say yes.” He wiped away the tears and waited.

“Yes Max, I want to be with you forever.” He smiled a sharp smile, and in a flash he was at your throat, his kiss had teeth and it made you whimper, made you close your eyes and fall limp in his arms. There was a moment when you thought you’d lost consciousness but then there was something in your mouth, a thick liquid crawling down your throat and into your bloodstream. It was a balm, something to soothe the ache and the pain but it turned to acid in a flash. The web of hurt spreading like a lightning strike and burning twice as hot.

It was agony.

You’d been burned once as a child, your mother had been ironing one of your fathers suits. The red hot iron had merely grazed your arm, but the pain lingered for days, caused you sleepless nights and tears to spare.

Compared to this, that burn was a kiss. That burn was the soft caress of a lover, a cool scrap of silk against your skin.

“Max, what is happening to me?” Your voice is a strangled cry, the linens under you felt like steel wool. He answers and he's so much closer than you expected him to be while you thrash blindly.

“It is almost over my love, soon the pain will pass.” His hand found yours through the chaos of the pain, a lifeline in the middle of a deep, dark, ocean.

It could have been minutes, or hours that passed. It could have been years, but eventually the storm abated, and with it went the pain.

“Max?” Your fingers flew up to your mouth, pressing against your lips, shocked at the way your voice sounded. Still your voice, but somehow more.

“Yes my love, I am here.” His voice sounded different too, so much clearer—everything sounded clear. Too clear, the sound of the floorboards creaking under his steps so much louder than you’d ever heard it. “You will adjust.” He crouched beside your place in the bed and your eyes widened when you took him in. It was as though he’d been hiding behind a paper screen before, the shape of him clear enough to distinguish him from another, but somehow vague.

He was devastatingly handsome, his skin smooth as polished marble, his eyes every shade of honey brown at once.

“What did you do to me?” You reached out to touch him and you noted the perfect skin of your hands, almost doll-like.

“What you asked,” he grasped your hand in his, placing a kiss on your palm. “I have made you like me. Come—get dressed and we will eat.”

His words were like a punch to the stomach, hunger spreading like a bruise throughout your body, the pain of it almost debilitating.

“I might faint of hunger Max, where will we eat?” You dressed as quickly as you could, ignoring the slight tremble in your hands.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find something.” He helped you dress, pulling you from what you’d come to believe was your deathbed and out into the night but before you’d made it out the door, you caught your reflection and gasped.

It was you, that was to be sure but it wasn’t the You you’d come to expect to see. The woman in the mirror has your face, and your eyes, your hair—but she was different. Her skin was perfect. Her eyes sparkled, her teeth shone so white.

It was mesmerizing.

“Is that me?” You watched the reflection, her beauty shifted, something predatory in the eyes.

“Yes my love, that is you.” He placed a kiss on your neck. “Come, before the sun rises.” He pulled you away from the mirror, and into hell.

“It’s overwhelming, I know, but you will adjust, as I did.” His voice is the anchor, a tether holding you from getting lost in the chaos. Has it always been this bad? This loud? Your feet carry you through the streets, with his hand guiding you along and the closer you get to the thick of it–to the crowd milling about the high street where the worst it is.

“I know my love–” His arm slips around your waist, pressing you close. “-Just a little further, and I will find you what you need.” Your stomach roils, the hunger-the thirst rips a swathe through your being.

“Why am I so hungry Max?” You stumble over a loose cobble but he steadies you, lifting you back onto your feet as though you were made of paper and it almost scares you how strong he is.

“Because you have not eaten.” His words are casual, a seemingly simple answer for a seemingly simple question. It didn’t feel simple though, not with the way you could barely concentrate. Everything seemed to be amplified, the dial on the radio turned to an uncomfortable volume and there was no way to turn it down. Distorted voices, an incessant thumping so loud it made you blink to its beat.

Worst of all, was the smell.

The city smelled rotten. The cloyingly sweet smell of overly ripe fruit, the sour smell of unwashed bodies, the moldy smell of old bread, hard packed dirt filled with worms, but threaded through it was the rich smell of butter and fine wine–the green of summer grass. Underneath everything though was something else, something mouth-watering–something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

He led you towards the park, the vast, open, green space where you would have never gone unaccompanied, much less at night. It was hard to feel afraid with Max though, it was hard to feel anything but intense hunger.

“That one there is a good candidate.” He gestures to a middle aged man. “He won’t be missed.” He watched you, an encouraging smile on his handsome face, you frowned in response.

“I don’t understand–” You looked at the man again, he must have been in his late forties, maybe even early fifties.

“You are hungry my love, eat.” He gestures again and your stomach sinks. “Oh come now, no need to be coy with me my darling, I can feel your hunger.” He smiles not unkindly at what must be a shocked expression. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s the worst sort of person. I can hear it in his mind, believe me, you will be doing this world a favour.” He kisses the back of your hand, soothing.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Max.” Your hands tremble, “I cannot–” The man walks closer and the smell of him almost knocks you off your feet, the thumping is back and you’re horrified to realize it’s his blood. A thunderous sound pounding through his body and through your head, and before you realize what you’re doing, your feet are carrying you to him.

It felt as though someone else was controlling you, something else entirely had taken over your senses, your limbs.

“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing.” The older man spots you then, his eyes light up with something altogether unwholesome, “What are you doing out this late, and all alone?” His eyes rake over your body in a way that would have scared you had you not been so focused on the sound his blood was making.

“So… hungry…” You barely heard yourself over the sound of his heart, barely saw anything but the seemingly glowing network of veins in his skin, all of it a gorgeous lace pattern.

“What’s that sugar-” He didn’t get to finish his question. Something in your body, something in your very being sprung out, a sudden, awful ache bloomed in your upper jaw before you bit into the salty flesh of his neck, piercing the brightest, thickest vein.

Euphoria.

Your body was curled around him, fingers digging into his arms, clutching him ever closer, your fingers so like the talons of some monstrous bird of prey.

He was silent as you took your fill, pull after pull of what tasted like the thickest, most delicious wine.

“That’s enough my love, not too much.” Firm, strong hands managed to break your hold on the man much too soon. “You cannot drain him. I know, I know.” He soothed your pained expression, wiped at your mouth with his thumb, sticking it into his mouth with a sharp smile. “Believe me, it’s better to stay hungry than to kill outright. Could make you very sick. Come–let's go home.” He fussed at your clothes for a moment before dragging the man over to a bench. You glanced back at him as Max led you away, to anyone walking by, he was just some tired, old man—resting alone.

The walk back to his home was only slightly easier to handle, the sounds, the smells, the cloying press was almost tolerable now that your stomach was full.

“Here we are, just here.” The house is much bigger than you’d anticipated, grand, but still tasteful. Years worth of ivy had already conquered most of the facade, giving it a cottage-like appeal and drawing your eye as he guided you inside. “The sun will be up soon, we must get into bed.”

“Why?” Your eyes roamed throughout the space, noting the almost clinical cleanliness of the place. The rug under your feet, perfectly laid, cushions on the settee without a single sign of ever having been sat on.

“Well, because the sun would kill us, my love.” He says it offhand, making your eyes widen at the back of his head. “We are impervious to almost everything, except that.” He opens a set of double doors at the top of the stairs and what greets you stops you in your tracks, eyes wide and full of terror.

“Max, why is there a massive coffin in here?” You stand at the door, frozen in place.

“Come now, there is nothing to be afraid of, it is where I sleep, where we will sleep–until I purchase you your own.” He smiles, his hands smoothing the worry on your face away with a welcome tenderness. “Believe me, once you get in, you will sleep just as soundly as you ever have in a regular bed, I promise you.” He pulls your gaze from the morbid thing to his own eyes, and in them you cannot help but find comfort, and honesty.

“Promise?” You press yourself a little closer and he smiles, nodding before placing a cool kiss to your forehead.

“Of course, come–we haven't much time.” He places another quick kiss at your brow before starting to undress. You follow suit and once completely nude, he opens the box and lays in it, opening his arms to you. You hesitate for a second, but get in just the same, he closes the lid and plunges you both in complete, and utter darkness.

“That’s my good girl, are you comfortable?” There is just enough room to fit into one another's arms, even with your heightened senses–it is difficult to make out anything within the confined space.

“Yes, there’s not much room, but I’m okay.” You scoot as close as you can, your face pressed into the crook of his neck. “Have you always slept here?” Your hand rests against his chest, just as his strokes at the skin of your back as best as he can.

“Yes, since I was turned.” He moves his face, and finds your lips in the dark. “It’s nice to have you in here with me.” He kisses every inch of your face he can reach. Soft, chaste kisses that make you smile, until he deepens it. His tongue tastes sweet but you pull away before it can turn into anything more just yet. You smile when he chases your mouth.

“Max-“ He finds your mouth again, cutting off your words and replacing them with a moan, “Max, tell me what you’ve done to me.” Your fingers thread through the short crop of his hair as he moves his kisses to your neck, to the base of your throat, and further still to the stiff peaks of your breasts. You bite your tongue as he takes on into his mouth, managing to distract you for a moment.

He hums around a nipple, biting at it before soothing it with his tongue. You don’t know how, but you find your voice amid this assault.

“Max, tell me—oh-“ he manages to get you on your back within the small space, manages to squeeze himself between your legs and before he can distract you with his tongue again, you yank his hair back, silently relishing the deep groan he gifts you with. “Focus Max, I need you to answer my questions, I am at a loss and very confused.” You stroke the place where you yanked at his hair, “Please, Max, I need to know what you’ve done to me.”

“I have made you into something else, something more. I have turned you into a vampire like me. Now we can be together forever.” He presses another kiss to your mouth, once again chaste. “You are neither dead, nor alive. You simply exist, as I do. You will need blood to sustain you, and a coffin at night to sleep in. You will never grow old, you will never get sick-“ he presses kisses to your neck between his words, “-you need never fear anything, and with me, you will never want for anything, ever again.”

“I am… not myself anymore?”

“You are more, you are better, you are at your full potential. You are mine, and I am yours. Neither of us ever need be alone again.”

It was almost too much to bear, the change you now felt so keenly. His weight on top of you was nothing, the difference in your senses, the difference in your body, it was all almost too much and for a moment you thought you might drown in it.

“Peace, my love, be at peace.” He heard the sob crawl out of your throat, the emotion of it all getting the better of you. With an awkward shuffle you were in his arms again, weeping into the skin of his neck. “I know it is a big change, but I am here to guide you through it.”

There were many and more questions you needed answered, but there would be more than enough time for that later. Eventually, the darkness of the space, the feel of him wrapped around you, the comfort in the steady sweep of his hands on your skin lulled you into just what he’d promised it would; warm, comfortable and dreamless sleep.

- Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @quica-quica-quica @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @sophiefatale2495 @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @localddreamers @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @maievdenoir @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @allthatsleftbehind @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed @swtaura @send-me-to-valhalla @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @oliviajdjarin @actuallyanita @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @rosymythologies @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #max phillips #maxxy #maxxy baby #max phillips x reader #max phillips x you #max phillips x f!reader #bloodsucking bastards #bloodsucking bastards au #max x reader #max p x reader

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Can Anybody See Me? Part 21

Executive dysfunction is a bitch and can go to hell. I had something I could have posted yesterday while I was working on this, but no...

I am starting to wonder if maybe I shot myself in the foot with my tag rant as engagement for the last Reconnect AU was WAY down. But oh well. I can only continue to move on and hope I find new people who like my stuff.

All righty, my lovelies. We have gotten to the part where I was going to end it originally before you absolute menaces said you wanted me to continue it through season 4.

But here’s the deal, this story has reached nearly novel length of 40k. So what I’ve decided to do is call this the end of book one. And then I will start up book two, which will be through to the end of the school year and probably through the events of season 3. And then book 3 should take us the rest of the way.

I hope that’s acceptable to all of you. I want to continue it, but I think from here on out the title doesn’t fit Steve anymore and he needs a new one.

Now if you’ve followed me long enough, you know that I don’t start putting out a story until it’s done (if it’s short enough) or if I’m three to four chapters deep. So hopefully by the end of the month (if not sooner) you should start seeing book two.

I will run a poll on how you think I should do the tag list for it. But thank you all for coming with me on this absolutely wild ride. And hope you’ll stick around for the next two parts.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

***

Word had been handed down, Mindy Jones, Ollie Anderson, and Kyle Carver had been suspended with word that Kyle being the instigator might be expelled. For sure he wasn’t going to be able to walk in his cap and gown at graduation.

Steve felt a sense of relief and strangely justice too. Yes, all right suspension wasn’t getting expelled, but the kids had been punished. They didn’t try to hand wave it away.

Steve had heard that Mr Vinke, the math teacher, Mr Cole, Miss Lucy, and Chief Hopper had all gone to the principal and superintendent for all three of them to be expelled.

The suspension was a given, but the school district wanted to do their own investigation and then expulsions might be handed out after it was complete.

Steve didn’t have much hope.

Marty, Gethin, and Janice all sat with the Corroded Coffin boys at lunch, something they didn’t normally do.

“Fuck,” Janice swore. “Why I am more nervous about tonight than I have all week?”

Steve nodded, poking at his food. “I haven’t been this queasy since I took a plate to the head.”

Everyone winced and murmured sympathetic platitudes and other noises of sympathy.

“I think it’s because it’s your last performance,” Gethin murmured. “Your last chance to completely biff it on stage.” Steve and Janice looked at him in wide-eyed fear. He waved his hands placatingly. “Not that I think you will. Just that your brain thinks you will.”

Steve and Janice looked at each other and then nodded.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “That tracks.”

Eddie slid his hand under the table and gripped Steve’s knee. Steve covered his hand with his own and gave it a squeeze of thank you.

Steve scanned the crowd the second night. He spotted Jeff and all his family, Gareth and Gethin and their parents, Brian and all of his younger siblings, and what looked like his dad. Wayne shuffled in his seat nervously, having never been to a musical before. But still no sign of his parents.

His mom promised that at least she would be there, even if his dad refused to come. And he held on to that. He managed to make it through the show and held it together.

He went out to be congratulated by his friends and their families. Wayne brought him flowers.

“You did good, boy,” he said gruffly, after giving him a hug. “I looked it up and flowers are the gift you give someone after a well-done performance.”

Steve looked down at the bouquet of wild flowers and smiled. “Thank you. I love them.”

Jeff clapped him on the shoulder. “They might be a tad wilted by the time we’re done, because we’re taking you out to eat in celebration.”

Steve teared up a bit. “Thanks, guys.”

Gareth smiled. “You deserve it, man. That was awesome!”

Gethin nudged his shoulder. “We’re just waiting for Janice and Eddie to get done.”

Steve nodded. Eddie had to reset the stage for tomorrow and Janice had to get out of a corset and that took some time.

“Yeah, no problem!” he enthused.

Eddie finished first and came out to meet them.

“Hey, Steve!” he said. “Feeling famous yet?”

Steve laughed. “I’m going to get fat if this keeps up. First ice cream last night and then dinner tonight.”

They all laughed. “It’s impossible for you to gain weight, man,” Brian huffed. “I’ve seen you eat a whole pizza and didn’t even get bloated.”

Steve laughed. “Playing three sports does that to you. Hell, I still life guard at the rec center every summer.”

Brian eyed his lean form skeptically. “I suppose so.”

“Swimming’s fun,” Steve said. “And it’s not just for us jock types.”

Janice finally came out. “Sorry to keep you waiting guys. Sharing with Tammy Thompson is hell let me tell you. I don’t know how someone so tiny can take up so much room.”

“At least you don’t have to share the choir room with twenty sweaty dudes that wouldn’t know deodorant if it bit them in the ass,” Steve grumped.

Gethin shook his head. “Shouldn’t you be used to that from sports?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “At least there are showers after basketball. Can’t say the same here.”

Gethin’s lips curled. “Fair.”

Wayne clapped his hands. “All right, I’ve got us a place reserved, so we need to hustle. Eddie and Steve are coming with me.”

Eddie and Steve filed out with the rest of them and followed Wayne out to his truck.

Steve slid into the middle between Eddie and Wayne.

“Thanks for this, Wayne,” he murmured. “And the flowers, too.”

“You’re welcome, Stevie,” he said. “I didn’t see your parents. Did they show up last night?”

Steve shared a glance with Eddie and then shook his head. “There’s still tomorrow.”

Wayne and Eddie shared a glance of concern over Steve’s head.

“I’m sure that’s the case,” Wayne agreed.

An uneasy silence settled on them as they drove to the restaurant. Wayne parked and turned to Steve.

He pulled him in for a great big hug and then opened the door. “It’ll be all right.”

Steve nodded and slid out after Eddie.

The dinner was just as ruckus as the ice cream parlor the night before. With just as many people. Steve looked around and smiled.

Yeah, 1985 was his year and it was just getting started.

Steve looked out to the audience and knew, even in the dimmed lights his parents weren’t there.

“Tell me, Mr Thomson, out of curiosity, do you stand with Mr Dickinson, or do you stand with me?” Vince asked.

Steve could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. He held up the dispatch. “I stand with the General. Lately–I’ve had the oddest feeling that he’s been–writing to me…”

He slowly rose to his feet as he sang,

“I have been in expectation Of receiving a reply On the subject of my last fifteen dispatches. Is anybody there?”

His voice cracked with emotion as he stepped half out of the spotlight.

“Does anybody care? Does anybody care? Y’r humble & ob’d’t–”

The drum rolled and Steve looked up into the eagle’s nest where Eddie was doing the spotlight. A single tear ran down his cheek.

Steve looked down at the paper in his hand and then back up at Eddie. And then he exited the scene on cue.

Eddie swore he saw more tears in that moment then for ‘Mama Look Sharp’ that night.

But that performance of Steve’s brought out something in Vince in that moment. Vince’s John Adams bid Hancock good night, but then it changed. All the emotion and fear of not being seen or heard. The loneliness that Adams must have been feeling in that moment, borrowed from the loneliness of both Washington and Thomson.

“Is anybody there–”

Silence.

“Does anybody care–?”

Again, nothing.

“Does anybody see–what I see?”

And then Kenny came on and delivered the line with a sharpness that hadn’t been there before.

“Yes, Mr Adams, I do.” As if to banish all the fears and insecurities that John was having in that moment.

And Steve could almost hear it as though it was coming from Eddie. As if it was coming from his friends. The party. Wayne.

Yes, his parents weren’t there. They never were. And probably never were going to be. But that didn’t mean that no one was listening to Steve. That no one cared.

They all cared. Every last one of the dozens of people that showed up the last two nights. They cared. They brought their families. Brought flowers. Thought he was worthy of celebrating. Worth treating.

For the boy with the bat.

The boy that never knew what love really was until he looked up from a god damned garbage can into those warm and friendly brown eyes. A warm hand on his back and a gentle ‘Are you okay?’

In that moment, Steve’s life had become changed. Different. Better. All because a teacher took pity on Steve and chose Eddie Munson of all people to be Steve’s protector.

And he looked up at Eddie in the rafters and though he couldn’t see him, he knew that Eddie was looking back at him. Smiling back at him. Loving him for all his worth.

And if you had asked Steve what his worth was back in December he would have told you nothing. He wasn’t worth anything but being the baby-sitter. But now?

Now Steve was a baby-sitter, chauffeur, groupie, actor, chef, swimmer, friend, brother, and most importantly boyfriend. And maybe if he was really lucky, someone’s son.

***

Fin.

Fuck, rereading this to add back in the formatting made me cry. My apologies if it makes you cry too.

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @garden-of-gay @anaibis @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @lovelyscot @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @jinxjinn @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @estrellami-1 @dangdirtydemons @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #canon divergence #the boy with the bat #ladykailtiha writes

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dbnightingale24 · 1 year

Text

It’s Ridiculous, But I’ll Always Love You

A Lloyd Hansen Love Story

Part 1

Okay, this is too make up for my last Lloyd Hansen story (I’m really sorry y’all). This popped into my head while I was working on my Ransom story, and it wouldn’t leave me alone, so now I’m working on Lloyd and Ransom stories at the same time, because I clearly hate myself. Now, I will give y’all a heads up and let you know that there will be a few parts that might make ya cry, but it’s not like the last Lloyd story, I PROMISE.

Thank you to @fuckingbye for an amazing mood board (as always). You’re perfect and I love you.

Lets get to it.

Word Count: 38,582 (me and my fucking novels)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI OR I WILL SNITCH), 18+ ONLY, Fluff, Swearing, Drinking, Smoking, Cheating, Angst, Toxic Relationship, Minor Abuse, Lloyd Hansen (because he’s a walking warning), Violence Gun Violence (it’s Lloyd), Slight Family Drama, Depression, Daddy Kink, Degrading Kink, Crying, Arguing, Child Trauma...I think that’s everything?

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: I’m Sorry That You’re Jaded

I do not give consent/permission for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

“Mom!” your son, Travis, yells as he runs towards you, Lloyd following behind him at a leisurely pace; a slight scowl on his face.

Of course.

“How was your week with dad?!” you ask enthusiastically, laughing as you almost fall over from the excitement of embrace.

“It was great! We went to a football game, the park, the aquarium, and so much other stuff!”

“Did you get your schoolwork done?” you ask with a chuckle as you cock an eyebrow at your ex-husband.

“Yup! Dad helped me with math before we left for the football game! He told me he can see me being a quarterback one day!”

“I bet he did,” you chuckle, “go inside and get ready for dinner. Stuffed shells and salad tonight.” “Hell yeah!” he yells before letting go of you and running into the house as Lloyd chuckles.

“Watch your mouth!” you yell after him, before getting up, “Lloyd.”

“Hey Little Hummingbird,” he smirks.

“We’ve been divorced for four years. You can’t think of another nickname?”

“It’s the only affectionate one I have for you at the moment. The other ones are too...dirty.”

“Don’t be a dick. What’s wrong? You look annoyed.”

“Sometimes, I forget how much he’s like you.”

“Says the one who I’m sure encourages him to say ‘hell yes’. What happened? Am I grounding him?”

“No, he didn’t do anything wrong. Got into a little disagreement at the park, and like his Mother, he showed me why I was wrong.”

“Well, in that case, he’s perfect and I’m getting him whatever he wants tomorrow,” you smile as Lloyd just shakes his head and chuckles. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Ya know, I could stay every night if you’d just take me back.”

“It would be so easy, if you hadn’t cheated.”

“A minor infraction,” he scowls and you roll your eyes.

“Are you staying or not?”

“Can’t. I have a mission to pack for.”

“Lloyd.”

“Don’t start. Denny called while I was on my way over-”

“You know I’m looking at houses next weekend! You agreed!”

“It’s work, Hummingbird.”

“Seems like you’re loyal to everyone except me,” you bite, and by the look in his eyes, you know you’ve hit a sore spot.

“You know I’m sorry-”

“Am I supposed to feel special because I’m the only person you’ve ever sorry to in your life?”

“I don’t wanna argue with you, Y/N. I’ll make it up to you. Hell, I’ll buy whatever house you decide on.” “I don’t want you buying me shit.”

“Still the most gorgeous and most stubborn woman I’ve ever known. Can you just agree? I’ve gotta leave in two hours.”

“The universe just loves to work in your favor, doesn’t it?”

“Y/N-”

“I’m obviously gonna take him, Lloyd. I’m not leaving our son with some stranger. Especially with the line of work you’re in.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Don’t get upset, my pretty little flower,” he coos as he wraps his arms around your waist.

You hate how much you’re always reminded of how much you miss his touch whenever he makes any type of contact with him. Asshole.

“Let me go, Lloyd. I swear to God, I’ll knee you in the nuts.”

“We both know how much I love it when you try to get rough with me.”

“Lloyd-”

“I’m not trying to fuck you over, Y/N. It’s just work. I will make this up to both you and Travis. I promise, okay?”

“Yeah fine, whatever,” you sigh. “Travis,” you call as you reluctantly break out of Lloyd’s hold, “come and say so long to your dad! He’s gotta go away for a bit!”

“What?! No!” your son yells as he makes his way back to the doorway. “You promised me-” “It’s work, Trav. I have to go.”

“What the-”

“Watch your mouth,” you warn. “Don’t give your Dad a hard time. He said he’ll make it up to you and he always does. Now, give him a hug. He has to leave in a few hours.”

Travis lets out a heavy sigh but hugs his Lloyd tight nonetheless, “I hate your job.” “Sometimes, I do too. We’ll do something when I get back, okay?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles solemnly before letting go and running back inside.

“I can’t seem to get it right with him,” Lloyd sighs.

“He’ll forgive you. He always forgives you.”

“And you?”

“I’ll get over it. I always do.”

“I love you.”

“That’s nice,” you mutter, running a frustrated hand through hand through your hair, because that little statement still means more to you than it should.

“Saying it back won’t make us married again, Hummingbird.”

“Why say something that isn’t true?”

“Why lie to the world’s best liar?” he smirks.

“Just go. I don’t have the energy today and you have to go.”

“I’ll call you when I’m on my way back.”

“Sounds fair enough...Lloyd, have you pissed anyone off lately?” you question as an uneasy feeling starts making its way into your stomach.

“According to you, I piss everyone off all the time.”

“I mean more than usual.”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Lloyd.”

“What’s wrong, little Hummingbird?”

“Something feels...off. I don’t know. I just don’t have a good feeling.”

“Everything is fine. No one knows where you live, no one would dare dream of attacking you to get to me, and you have protection even when I’m not here. You’re fine.”

“Something doesn’t feel right. Be careful, okay?”

“Seems my sweet little butterfly still cares.”

“I fucking mean it, Lloyd. Be careful.” “I’ll be fine, Hummingbird,” he reassures you before kissing your cheek then turning to walk away.

Something you always tell him you hate, but you and him both know it’s bullshit.

“Do you still have that pistol I gave you?” he asks, turning around and facing you once he reaches the bottom step.

“I always keep it on me.”

“If you’re really feeling that paranoid, make sure it’s loaded and always on you. I’ll check in after I land, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Lloyd.”

You watch him walk back to his car and look around for anything suspicious. After being with Lloyd for forever, you’ve learned that every and anything is a possible threat. When you don’t see anything out of the ordinary, you close the door and make your way into the dining room.

“Who’s up for pasta night?!”

Technically, you’ve known Lloyd since your Freshman year of High School. He was on the football team and you were in the book club.

Needless to say, you two never interacted.

Sure, you’d heard of him (him being the star quarterback and all), but you two were in two completely different social groups. He made the speeches for the assembly’s to get everyone about football season, and you made sure to have your headphones on when he did. He dated (or fucked) all the cheerleaders, and you took pictures for the school paper. He was voted Homecoming king, and you and your friends made fun of the people who were obsessed with that kind of thing. He was prom king, and you didn’t go to prom.

You two just led completely different lives.

Then came college.

“Thought I knew you from somewhere,” he said, smug grin on his face as he approached your desk after Psych class. “We went to High School together.”

“May I help you with something, Hansen?” you asked, very obviously annoyed as you packed your backpack.

“Don’t get all sour on me and I haven’t even done anything yet,” he taunted with a chuckle.

“Lloyd Hansen: world’s biggest asshole, star quarterback, campus’ biggest womanizer, straight A dickhead...how may I help you, Hansen?” you sighed as you stood up and slung your backpack over your shoulder. “How may I help you?”

“I thought we’d have lunch together.”

“Now, why would that big brain of yours come to that conclusion?”

“Because I know how much you don’t want to,” he grinned at you.

And that’s how it started.

It didn’t matter how or how often you said no, Lloyd wouldn’t give up. You could conclude that the chase is what drew him in. Every woman on campus (even the fucking teachers) threw themselves at him.

And then there was you.

All you wanted was to stay clear of him because, if anything, Harvard made him worse than he was in High School. He was more arrogant, more annoying, way more of a dickhead, and more of a womanizer. While everyone else flocked in his direction, you made sure to stay as much out of his line of site as possible, which only made him want you more.

Then your Junior year came.

“Y/N, we never get you out of your dorm! Now, we finally get you to come to a party, and you’re not even gonna drink?!” your best friend, Tina, pouted as she tried to make herself heard over the music.

“I don’t want to sleep all day tomorrow, and-”

“Y/N, it’s a party!” Tina laughed. “Just have a drink!”

“Tina-”

“You’re a straight A student! One drink isn’t gonna hurt!”

Well, soon enough, one drink turned into one too many

“How’d they get the Virgin Mary to leave her dorm?” Lloyd laughed as he stumbled a little, approaching you with his red Solo cup in hand.

“Leave me alone, Hansen,” you slurred as you leaned against the counter to stay upright.

“Well, the poet-”

“Lloyd, I am not like every other girl here. I’m not impressed with all the shit you can quote from dead old guys. Go...go away.”

“Let me impress you with something else then,” he smirked.

To this day, you still blame the alcohol for the reason you gave in to him at all. You were both drunk, so he wasn’t even all that charming.

“Lloyd,” you moaned as he laid you down on what you can only assume was his bed.

From the look of the room, you had a hard time imagining that it could have been anyone else’s room.

“Such a dirty little hummingbird, aren’t you? Letting me eat your pussy in the kitchen where anyone could see,” he hummed as he ripped your dress off.

What an asshole.

“Please!” you whimpered as he took his shirt off.

“Felt so good, didn’t it?”

“Lloyd, I fucking swear-”

“Jesus, a needy little whore, huh?”

“Then satisfy me!”

“Ask nicely,” he growled before slapping you.

It’s painfully annoying how much he knew what you needed. Even before you did.

“Lloyd-”

“Ask nicely,” he warned again before he slapped you harder.

“Please!”

“Please who?”

“Please, Lloyd!”

“Who?” he growled before slapped you again.

“Please daddy! Please!”

“There’s a good girl,” he smirked before he crashed his lips into yours, as you both fell back on the bed.

You’d always had rules about hooking up, and one of them was them was that you never kissed. For as much as you wanted to push Lloyd off, it felt so fucking good to get kissed with so much passion.

You’d never been kissed so good in your life.

“You want daddy to destroy this pussy, little Hummingbird?” he husked as you two broke apart.

“Please,” you whimpered as you clawed at his chest.

“What will give me in return, hmm?”

“Anything you want,” you promised him.

God, how did he manage to turn you into the biggest idiot in such a short amount of time?

You and Lloyd kept each other up all night, pleasuring and torturing each other in all the ways you could think of, before finally bowing out at 2am. You were usually smart enough to leave after all was said and done, but Lloyd wore you out and he wasn’t kicking you out. You don’t even remember falling asleep, you just remember him letting you rest your head on his chest.

When you woke up the next morning, he was still fast asleep, so you grabbed a pair of his sweats and his crew neck, and quietly slipped out. It really didn’t mean anything to you that you let him eat you out on some dirty kitchen counter top at a party, because isn’t that what college is for? Being crazy and stupid? However, the attention you received after started to annoy the shit out of you.

“Okay so, if you would have told me that alcohol makes you that wild, I wouldn’t have encouraged you to drink so much,” Tina laughed as she caught up to you as you were leaving your English class.

“It was just sex. It’s not like I injected myself with heroine or did a line of blow off of someone’s ass crack. I let Lloyd Hansen eat me out during a party.” “Exactly!” she laughed, “Lloyd Hansen-”

“He’s not God.”

“Around here he is!”

“Only because you all make it so.”

“Isn’t that his crew neck?”

“It’s comfortable and I overslept.”

“When are you seeing him again?”

“Never?”

“Y/N-”

“It was sex, not some lifelong commitment. He fucks whoever and whatever he wants all the time. I’m not anything special to him.”

“He let you stay over.”

“Yeah? So?”

“Lloyd never lets anyone stay over. If he does, he wakes up early enough to kick them out in the morning.”

“I left-”

“Denny said he’s not happy about that. He expected you to be there.”

“That was a dumb thing to expect.”

“He likes you, babe,” she laughed as you two continued your trip to the library.

“Tina, he’s the same piece of shit hes always been. The only difference is that I got drunk enough to let him get his hands on me.”

“You don’t even want to consider the idea of one date with him?”

“I don’t want to consider the idea of anything with him.”

Too bad Lloyd had other plans.

“It’s been two weeks and you haven’t come to see me,” Lloyd growled quietly as he aggressively took a seat across from you in the library.

“Well, look who it is,” you mumbled, not even bothering to look up from your book, “I’m amazed you could find the library, honestly.”

“What the fuck is your issue?”

“Currently? You distracting from my work.”

“We fucked-”

“Exactly. We fucked. There was no exclusive agreement made that I’d come and see you, fuck you on the regular, or that we’re dating. I know that you know that more than anyone else. It was a college party, we fucked, and now it’s over. Sorry I didn’t leave you a goody bag,” you scoffed as you started to take notes.

“You didn’t seem to hate me so much when my face was buried between your legs.”

“The fact that I even let you touch me lets you know just how fucking drunk I was. You’ve been trying to get into my pants since Freshman year, and it took you until I got shit faced at a party to fuck me? It wasn’t anything special.”

“Why isn’t it?”

“Why shouldn’t it be?”

“Because I’m your Huckleberry,” he smirked.

It’s sad and pathetic that, that’s all it took for him to win you over. A cheesy line from what you would come to find is his favorite movie. It took a bit of back and forth, but Lloyd Hansen eventually talked you into going on a date with him. You could tell by how hard he was having to work, he was getting annoyed.

However, one date turned into two. Two turned into study sessions and late night phone calls. Soon enough, you were the only woman on campus holding all of Lloyd’s attention, and pissed off every other woman. You found yourself giving a damn about football and showing up to almost every game (which he made a big show of every single fucking time), and he stayed up with you during the nights when you studied entirely too much over the things you already knew for an exam.

Eventually, you two became boyfriend and girlfriend.

“What would think of me with a mustache?” he asked one night while you were studying in his dorm.

“Stop watching so much damn ‘Tombstone’,” you laughed.

“Shut up. What would you think?”

“You mean, would I still fuck you? I don’t know, Huckleberry. I guess you’ll have to grow it out and we’ll see,” you shrugged. “If it stops you from letting me ride your face, then I don’t want it.”

“Now why would I ever tell you to stop doing that?” he smirked as he pushed your books off the bed and you burst out laughing. “Exams are over, aren’t they?”

“Lloyd-”

“You kept daddy waiting for so long,” he continues as he took your shirt off, “and now you bring up riding my face?”

“Daddy,” you moaned as you lost all resolve.

“Hummingbird, I’ve been patient with you. It’s time for my reward.”

“Fuck,” you sighed as he ripped off your panties.

“Am I still your Huckleberry?”

“Always, daddy!” you moaned.

“There’s my good girl. My perfect little Hummingbird,” he smirked before he dove between your legs and started fucking you with his tongue.

In a short amount of time, you two had become inseparable. It’s not like you ever meant to fall in love with him; he was an asshole, he was rude, he was unforgiving, he was prideful, he was boastful, and he was arrogant.

Arrogant as fuck.

But with you? He was different. You could almost say that he was a gentleman.

It didn’t take long for you to see that he was a bit unhinged, especially when he was playing football, but somehow you found a way to make an excuse for it.

Then, everything changed.

“So, I’ve been talking with Denny-”

“That’s never a good thing,” you sighed, as laid down on Lloyd’s bed.

“I would be a good fit for the CIA-”

“HA! No you wouldn’t!”

“Fuck you!”

“Lloyd, you barely listen to your football coach. You think you can handle training for the CIA?”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Lloyd, just stick with-”

“I took a test.”

“So, we’re keeping secrets now? That’s great,” you scoffed as you got up. “I didn’t keep a secret, Hummingbird,” he scowled.

“Don’t fucking get cute with me! You didn’t tell me about it-”

“Cause you’d try and talk me out of it!”

“We had a plan, Hansen!”

“We can still stick to it-” “We quite literally can’t if you’re joining the fucking CIA!” you huffed as you put your shoes on.

“You’re not fucking mad at Tina-”

“I’m not in love with her or thinking about marrying her!”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Hummingbird,” he mumbled.

“I’m going back to my room-”

“No you’re not,” he growled, grabbing your arm and pushing you against the door. “We’re talking about this!”

“Oh, now you wanna talk about it? Too fucking bad!”

“Y/N, don’t make a big fucking deal out of-”

“You lied to me! You don’t get to be annoyed-” “I didn’t fucking lie!”

“You weren’t fucking upfront about it! I’m going back-”

“No you’re not!”

Instead of deciding to keep the back and forth going, you opted to knee him in the nuts.

It’s truly cute how thought that was going to get you out of his room.

“There you go, being a little bitch!” he groaned, his on you still tight as he thew you onto the bed.

“I’m leaving!”

“Hummingbird, it’s really a shame that you haven’t figured out how this works,” he chuckled darkly as he took off his shirt and threw it across the room, “you don’t fucking leave until I say so, and I say that we’re not done talking about this.”

It’s not lost on you that and you and Lloyd were never in really a normal or healthy relationship. You two got off on arguing and getting physical with one another. In fact, on more than one occasion, his housemates had to check to make sure you two weren’t killing each other.

You were sure that Lloyd would never actually physically hurt you. If anything, he let you hit him a lot more than he ever put his hands on you. He knew he was an asshole and 90% of the times when you slapped him, he knew he deserved it. Occasionally, he’d get rough and throw you against the wall or grip you by your neck, but that’s how you two usually ended up in bed anyway.

Why the hell should you give a damn?

That’s also why Lloyd loved you so much though.

You weren’t afraid of him, you didn’t take his shit, you put him in his place, and you were just as sexual and wild as him. He’d met his match. He couldn’t control you (something he both loved and hated), you were witty as hell, you were smart as whip, and you constantly called him on his shit.

In some ways, you two were a match made in hell; so to Lloyd, it meant you two were a match made in heaven.

You two stayed up arguing and fucking for hours that night, but at the end of it all, his mind was made up and you weren’t going to breakup with him. Somehow, you’d become in love enough that putting up with his shit didn’t seem like too much, though Tina would beg to differ.

You two just understood each other. There wasn’t anything necessarily wrong with Lloyd. His parents (while snobbish and infuriating at times) loved the hell out of him, supported him in everything he did, and his Mother made sure to always tell him how proud she was. Whatever Lloyd decided to do, he was good at. No matter how hard or challenging, he excelled better than anyone else. If he wasn’t going to be number one, he didn’t see the point in doing it. It also helped that his parents were loaded and he had every opportunity in the world lined up for him.

No, Lloyd didn’t have some terrible backstory as to why he turned out a little unhinged. He just did and he was good at hiding it from everyone. Everyone except you.

As for you? You just were what you were. No, you definitely didn’t hate people as much as Lloyd did, but you did your best to stay away as much as possible. Your parents had gotten by, by living paycheck to paycheck, but taught you the value of being kind and patient with others, but to never be a fool. They loved to throw little parties and had lots of friends. The day you got your acceptance letter from Harvard (on a full scholarship), they partied all weekend with their friends. There was no short supply of love in your house, and you (for the most part) cherished that. Maybe that’s why you were able to handle Lloyd so well.

You both could tell that neither of your parents were expecting the two of you to be together, and it wasn’t hard to see that they didn’t really like each other, but they saw how happy the two of you were. So, when Lloyd proposed after graduation, both of your parents worked together to throw you the very best engagement party. Yes, there was back and forth about where it should be held, how much money was spent, but it was overall gorgeous and you two were happy.

For the longest time, you two were so happy.

It’s not like either of you didn’t know that Lloyd was sociopath, but you always handled it well, and that always made him feel normal. When he got kicked out of the CIA, you weren’t surprised in the slightest, but you never rubbed it in his face. When he was assigned to the private sector, you weren’t necessarily happy about it, but accepted it with as much grace and dignity as you could.

“It’s a job!” Lloyd yelled as he followed you into the kitchen of the house his parents bought for the both of you as a wedding present.

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, Huckleberry,” you sighed, grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniels off the shelf, as well as the cigarettes you kept beside it.

“Hummingbird-”

“Lloyd, I love you. I feel like after all the time, it’s very obvious just how deeply and truly I do. However, this? I need to process it.”

“What’s wrong with it?!”

“Let’s not do this right now.” “No, tell me!”

“Lloyd, you’re fucking insane! You didn’t get kicked out because you’re too soft! You got kicked out because you don’t know when to fucking stop! Now, you have your own private fucking sector that you’re in charges of, and it’s supposed to be okay?! All of this is supposed to be a good idea?! We’re fucking married! Besides the fact that I absolutely hate this for you, what about me?!”

“You know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do-”

“Lloyd, you have this job because the CIA can’t do the jobs you’ll get assigned! Your enemies are gonna be way worse!”

“I will always keep you safe, no matter what! You know that!”

“Lloyd-”

“This is good! It’s good for us! I can provide-”

“I have my own fucking job that pays me well enough!”

“Hummingbird, I’m good at this. Really fucking good at this. It’s what I’m meant to do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Lloyd. If this is what you’re gonna do, it’s what you’re gonna do. You always do what you wanna do, so why should that change now, right?”

“Hummingbird-”

“I don’t feel like talking about this anymore,” you shrugged, grabbing a lighter, along with your drink and cigarette, before you made your way out on to the patio.

That was one of the roughest weeks you two had, had in a while. He wasn’t backing down and you weren’t changing your position.

Maybe that’s when it all went wrong.

It was the first time you weren’t giving Lloyd all of your support, and it hurt him more than he wanted to admit, because Lloyd was prideful before anything else. Nonetheless, you two were just as in love as you two had always been, and a year later, you were pregnant. Initially, you were both over the moon, but the reality of his job started to set in, and soon enough it just became another argument for you two to have. He wasn’t going to quit and and you weren’t going to change your mind about wanting him to do something else.

Nine months later, you welcomed Travis Michael Hansen into the world, and you both fell in love with him instantly. You’d both agreed on the name Charles (after your grandfather because Lloyd wanted to name him Doc and...no), but while you were sleeping, he decided he didn’t like like it and told them Travis. Too tired from being tired when you woke up, you let him win that round.

Lloyd shocked you both with how good of Father he was. He was very hands on, he got up to take care of Travis when he would scream at three in morning and you were too tired, he read to him, and he even took time off of work when he thought that Travis was close to taking his first steps because he didn’t want to miss a thing.

For all of the faults that he had, Lloyd was a good Dad.

Years went by and for just as good as they got, they also got that much worse.

“Lloyd, I can’t fucking do this by myself! I need you here!”

“Don’t fucking start, Hummingbird. I’m working-”

“I’m working! I’m working, raising our son, making sure that everything-”

“I’ve told you over and over again that you can quit!”

“Lloyd, you are not the only person who likes their fucking job! Why should I have to-”

“Because you’re a fucking mom now!”

“You’re a fucking dad!”

“It’s your fucking job-”

“Fuck you, Hansen,” you scoffed, grabbing your glass of wine before you got up, “go straight to hell.”

From then on, the arguments got harsher and the nights got lonelier. Even when he was home, you didn’t sleep in the same bed as him. You weren’t strong enough to deny him what he wanted from you most (which was intimacy), and staying away was the only way to not give in.

Then, one night, he came home from a mission and you could easily tell that everything was about to change.

“What the he is all this?” you asked as you walked into the kitchen, seeing Lloyd seated with two glasses filled with red wine.

“Is he sleeping?” he asked solemnly.

“We’re still at the age where it doesn’t take much for him to want sleep. Having a four year old has it perks,” you smirked as you sat down. “What happened?”

“You know I love you more than anything-”

“Just spit it out. What happened?”

“I cheated,” he sighed.

You drank your entire glass without taking a single breath to stop, before you instantly refilled it.

“Hummingbird, we can work-”

“I want a divorce, Lloyd. Simple as that.”

“We can work this-”

“I told you that would be where I drew the line. That, and I can’t keep fucking do this with you anymore.”

“We can figure this out-”

“We’ve been “figuring this out” since we graduated from college. You’re a selfish bastard-” “Don’t act like you didn’t play a part in this!”

“Because I won’t open my legs for you, it’s my fault?!”

“You’re not available at all! Not even to talk! You’re constantly punishing me for not doing the things you want and deny me any ounce of affection!”

He had you there.

“This isn’t Harvard. We’re too old to just fuck this away-”

“I have never cheated on you before!”

“But you’ve fucked me over before and I can’t...we both can’t keep hurting each other anymore.”

“We don’t have to do this,” he sighed, his voice cracking as he fought off his tears.

“I can’t keep settling. I can’t keep making excuses for the shit that you do. I’m not another one of your punching bags.”

“You know I love you.”

“It’s clearly not enough,” you laughed humorlessly as you sniffled. “This is just done.”

“Hummingbird, we can make this work.”

“Give me a good reason to.”

“Because I’m your Huckleberry.”

You reached across the table and grabbed his hand while smiling mournfully at him, “no, not anymore.”

You couldn’t even blame him for cheating, honestly. You denied him of yourself in every way possible. You pushed him away, not because you wanted to, but you wanted to him to choose you over everything. When you’re honest with yourself, you purposely pushed him away because you were hurting. You’d been hurting for so long and you’d stop talking about it, which was something Lloyd was big on when it came to you. He didn’t give a fuck about making sure anyone else was happy, but when it came to you? He needed you. He needed to know what you were thinking and how you felt about everything, even if it wasn’t happy.

That was one of the many true perks of being with him; he didn’t care if you had something positive or negative to tell him, he just wanted to know your true and honest thoughts. He needed to know where you were at all time mentally and emotionally. You shut yourself down and, after trying to reach you so many times, it made sense that he just went for comfort elsewhere.

In the end, you told him you wanted nothing (even though he tried to give you the house), got your own house, you both evenly split your time with Travis, and you two were divorced.

As simple, and as painful, as that.

Of course, Lloyd pulled every trick he could, claiming that movers missed a few thing, but you knew he hid them in attempt to see you.

“Where the fuck is it, Lloyd?” you scowled as you made your way inside the house.

“Where’s what?”

“My Mother’s fucking charm bracelet! You know what? I don’t have the time or the patience for this today. Plus. Travis is sleeping and I don’t want to wake him.”

“Maybe we should look for it together,” he suggested with a smirk.

That should’ve been for signal for you to leave, but you missed him just as much as he missed you. You were just as pathetic.

“Fuck,” you sighed, as Lloyd shoved you against his bedroom wall. “We can’t!” you whispered as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Oh yes we can,” he chuckled. “If I recall correctly, we’re very good at it,” he teased as he undid your jeans.

“Lloyd,” you whimpered, not even slightly embarrassed by the moan that leaves your mouth when his hand started teasing your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“My little Hummingbird is so wet for daddy,” he groaned as he got on his knees, “don’t worry, daddy’s gonna make it all better,” he promised before he ripped off your panties and buried his face in between your legs.

Every part of you knew that you should stop, but it felt so good to have him again. Even if it was just for a moment. It had been so long, and you could tell just how much he loved and missed you. By the time he finished you off with his tongue, you told yourself that it would only be one time. You just needed a fix and that would be it.

That was such bullshit.

You couldn’t even pin it all on Lloyd, because the second you two got started, you couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to. It’s not like you filed for a divorce because you stopped loving him, it just wasn’t working anymore. You missed him, you were still deeply in love with him, and he was your soulmate. Lloyd Hansen is no saint, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s the only one for you.

He pulled you apart in every position you loved, your body writhing in pleasure while your head and your heart were at war with each other, and his name leaving your mouth like a silent prayer every time he brought you off. During the final round, he whispered that he loved you, and you said it back without any hesitation. There was no sense in hiding the truth, because you’d always been an open book to Lloyd to begin with.

When you both a fell asleep that night, he held you tight, like he was afraid you’d disappear like the night when you two first slept together.

He was right.

When morning came, you woke up first (because made the mistake of facing the blinds), and his grip had loosened just enough for you to slip out. You knew it would hurt him, but the night shouldn’t have happened in the first damn place. Almost as soon as you stepped foot inside your house, the texts started coming. You truly didn’t want to hurt him, but you knew you two couldn’t get back together. It would be great for a while, then it would all go back to shit.

That’s what always happened.

It was easier in college. You two would argue, things would be said and sometimes things would be thrown, you’d storm out, you’d ignore him for a day or two, he come to your dorm, you two would fuck like rabbits, and everything would go back to how it was.

That’s not the case anymore.

You two have a child and his job was only becoming more and more dangerous. You were tired of feeling like you were the only one doing all the work, and tired of feeling like Lloyd didn’t put you first. Yeah, he loved you, but it wasn’t enough for him to truly put you and Travis first. At some point, you had to draw the line. You weren’t even holding the cheating against him, you just couldn’t keep up the act anymore. All of it was tiring and even if you’d be alone forever, you couldn’t deal with the pain he made you feel. He was your world and you just felt like an awkward painting hanging up in his.

“So we’re back to you sneaking out after-”

“That’s the only time that’s happening again,” you quietly interrupted as Travis ran past you and into the house.

“Hummingbird-”

“It can’t happen anymore, Lloyd. I fucked up, but I’m not strong enough to keep this up with you. We’re divorced.”

“Because you filed for one!”

“Lloyd, I don’t wanna argue. It’s part of the reason I filed for the divorce in first damn place. Just...we had our time together and now it’s done.”

“You still love me-” “What does that have to do with anything? For as much as we love each other, we can’t seem to get any of this right. It’s not enough for us!”

“Why can’t you just let it go?!”

“Why can’t you quit your job?”

“Hummingbird-”

“Lloyd, we have to stop hurting each other. I know your main setting is asshole and mine is bitch, but we do love each other, and we’ve gone through too much to be cruel to one another. I don’t want to hurt you and you don’t want to hurt me. Besides, we have Travis now and we have to do our best for him.”

He let out a frustrated sigh but didn’t say anything, because as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew you had a point. Even if that point broke his heart, and made him angry because he wasn’t getting his way, he did love you too much to ever truly hurt you.

He pulled you close and kissed you so passionately that you went weak in the knees. When you two broke apart, you could see the pain in his eyes, but you could also see the look of defeat. He looked you over before he let you go and walked off.

And that was that.

It’s not like Lloyd hasn’t made advances towards you since, and you almost give in, but it’s been bearable for the most part. His pride and anger does get the better of him sometimes, which causes him to be an asshole and you two to argue. He gets mad that this isn’t just a phase for you and that you’re actually sticking to it, and it causes him to be...well, Lloyd. Sometimes it’s a drunk text about how he had a threesome and he couldn’t figure out why it took him so long to cheat on you, sometimes he’ll call during those threesomes just so you can hear him getting those other women off and how desperate they are for him, and other times it’s just the cold shoulder.

Which is somehow so much worse.

You know he never means it, but it doesn’t make any of it hurt any less, and when Travis is fast asleep, you sit in your kitchen and drink; crying until you’re desperate for sleep. So, in return, you stopped telling him you love him, or showing him any sort of affection at all, really. Maybe it was for the best. The only time you tell him that you love him is when you get the feeling that he’s in serious danger. Which is why you’re so damn worried now.

Yeah, Lloyd checked in when he landed and told you all was fine, but the lack of communication is driving you insane. Yes, it’s always like this for your own safety, but right now, not constantly knowing that he’s safe is making everything worse. The last time you felt like this, he ended up almost getting killed. Some brat named Sierra Six was keeping something from him, a drive or something (you don’t ask questions because you truly don’t care to know), and Denny sent Lloyd to get it back. In the end, Six was killed, Suzanne was killed, and Agent Miranda was killed. Lloyd was in a coma for a while and you stayed by his side every second of every day (which you never told him about) and his and your parents were happy to look after Travis. You think it helped to keep all of their minds occupied, cause it was the first time you saw all of them truly get along with one another.

Now? You don’t know what it is, but something isn’t right. God, you just hope he’s okay.

“Mom, dad said these are-”

“Put it back, Travis,” you said as your son tries to hand you some protein drink.

You’re gonna choke Lloyd when he gets back.

“Why don’t you ever want me to bring up Dad?” he scowls as he resumes his job of pushing the cart through the grocery store.

“Because you always bring him up when you want something.”

“That’s the only time I can bring him up, because you hate him.”

“I don’t hate your Father, baby.”

“Well, you sure as shit-”

“TRAVIS!”

“You never like to talk about him,” he mutters.

You’re gonna beat the shit out of Lloyd when he gets back.

Travis is a very good mix of you and Lloyd, and you figure that’s God’s way of playing a joke on you. He has Lloyd’s athleticism, your love of art, Lloyd’s love of movies, your love of music, your patience and big heart, Lloyd’s smart ass mouth, and both of your tempers. On more than one occasion, you and Lloyd have had to make trips to the school because of his temper. Either, he’s calling a teacher a dumbass or shoving other kids into lockers because they annoy him, and it’s very obvious that he’s a product of the both of you.

The kid is only eight.

“It’s complicated, okay? Maybe one day, when you’re older.”

“I’m old enough-”

“You’re 8 with the mouth of a damn sailor,” you mumble. “Do you want any lunch meat for school?”

“Dad said I should keep eating those grilled wraps you make. Something about protein and all that.”

“Your Father would know all about that,” you scoff as you shake your head. “Then we’re all set.”

“Can we watch an action movie tonight?”

“If you watch your mouth for the rest of the day and finish up your homework. One movie.”

“Is Dad gonna be home soon?”

“I hope so,” you sigh as you feel a pair of eyes on you.

You look over to the butchers section and see a man watching you intensely.

Great.

Yeah, you have one of your pistols on you (something you’ve kept on you since Lloyd left), but it doesn’t help that you’re out in public with your son. Maybe you are just being paranoid, but it really doesn’t. After almost losing Lloyd, you’ve learned to always trust your gut.

“What does Dad even do?” Travis asks, completely oblivious to your anxiety and stress.

“He takes care of business for your Godfather when he can’t.”

“Doesn’t Uncle Denny work for the government or something?”

“Something like that. What’s with all the questions?”

“I don’t know. I just miss Dad and I wish he was around more.”

“Me too, kid,” you sigh as you two make your way to the self check-out line.

“Is that why you two aren’t together anymore?”

“You and the questions today!”

“I’m allowed to have them!”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? Just know that we both love and think the world of you, and we’d do anything for you. You’re the center of our universe.” “Then why is he always gone?” he sighs and your heart breaks.

You’ve been asking yourself the same question for years.

“Hey, how about we watch ‘Tombstone’ tonight?” you smile at him.

“Really?!”

“Just don’t let your Dad know when gets back, deal?”

“Deal,” he laughs.

There’s no way in hell you’re going to let Lloyd know that you cracked and watched his favorite movie to make your son happy. Cocky son of a bitch doesn’t get to rub that in your face.

Checkout is a breeze and you and Travis load everything into your truck without an issue, but you still feel uneasy. Between going to the bank and not seeing your usual teller, feeling as if you’re being followed whenever you go to work, and now the feeling like the new butcher was watching you at the grocery store, you just can’t shake the feeling that a storm is brewing. You don’t know who the fuck Lloyd pissed off, but you wish he’d come back already.

You’d feel a lot safer if he were back.

“Alright, Mary’s gonna be here in a bit-”

“You said we were gonna watch ‘Tombstone’!”

“Calm down!” you quickly interject as give him the key to the house before starting to unload the groceries. “I just have some work to do. You knew she was coming over-”

“You and Dad always have to work!”

“At least I’m here!” you snap before you can control yourself. “Trav, listen, we have a whole weekend together and I promise to spend every minute with you after this. I just need to close on this deal. I promise you, I tried my hardest to get out of it, but my boss doesn’t want the client speaking with anyone else. It should take two hours at most, okay?”

“I hate your boss.”

“That makes two of us, sweetie.”

“You promise it’ll only take two hours?”

“I’ll do my best to keep it down to one. Listen, if you don’t give Mary a hard time, I’ll even let you stay up and watch a horror movie.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, it’s Friday, why not?” you laugh.

“Thanks Mama, I love you.” “I love you too. Now, lets get all of this crap in the house, huh?”

“I’ll get the door,” he yells over his shoulder, already running to unlock it.

Now you feel like shit.

It’s not lost on Travis, Lloyd, or you that you always make Travis a priority, but that doesn’t matter right now. He’s upset because he misses his dad, and now you have to work too. You’ve done your absolute best to be there for Travis as much as possible, but they’re some things that are out of control. It makes you feel a little bad for always being so angry with Lloyd about his job, but you also take into account that your job is a lot less dangerous.

However, you both have a child and you’re more than sure that he just wants to feel as normal as the other kids in his class. Their parents aren’t divorced and one of them isn’t flying off on random ass trips most of the time. You know that Travis is reaching an age where he’s gonna want and deserves more answers, but one, you don’t know how to deal with the fact that he’s growing up so fast, and two, you don’t know how to explain all of shit to him.

“Your dad is basically a contract killer, we got a divorce because I felt like he didn’t care about us enough, and we both miss each other terribly but don’t know how hard we try, we can’t seem to work anything out. We love you the most though and that’s what matters most.”

Yeah, for as smart as you may be at 34, you’re not smart enough to figure out that conversation yet, and you’re sure as shit that Lloyd isn’t either.

A rapid tapping on your door pulls you out of your thoughts, and you’re instantly running to the front door.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” Mary breathes as you usher her in.

“Please don’t feel bad,” you chuckle, closing the door behind her. “Thank you so much for being so flexible. With Lloyd leaving so suddenly, without any warning, I appreciate the help.”

“I would do anything for you and Travis, you know that,” she smiles awkwardly.

You know the poor girl feels like she’s paying penance at times, because she slept with Lloyd during his revenge tour, but you never blamed her. If he could get you, and you absolutely loathed him when he first approached you, you knew he could get anyone.

Lloyd Hansen may be a complete and total dick, but he’s also a charmer when he wants to be.

“The longest all of this should take is two hours, but I’ll do my best to get it done quicker. Travis is starving, so I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to help in the kitchen, but you also have the option to order food. My card is on the kitchen countertop, so get whatever. He usually loves Chinese food, but it’s Friday and he’s his Father’s child, so pizza may be the best...why am I telling you all of this? You’ve watched him long enough that you know everything.”

“I promise, everything will be fine,” she smiles. “Good luck with your deal!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need it,” you smile at her. “I’m gonna go upstairs now, okay Trav?!” you call from the living area entry way and, almost instantly, Travis is running towards you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You sure you can’t just hangout today?”

“I promise to make it up to you as soon as it’s over.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, hun,” you tell him sincerely before breaking yourself out of his hold. “I promise, the second I’m all done, I’m all yours,” you smile at him.

With that, you’re rushing upstairs and hoping onto the call just in time.

You gotta take him Disney World or some shit when everything calms down.

For the first thirty minutes, everything is fine and as it should be, then you hear a commotion downstairs, followed by gunshots.

“Are those gunshots I-”

You close the laptop before he can finish and grab your pistol.

You fucking knew something was wrong.

You quickly and quietly make your way to steps before you hear another set of gunshot.

Travis.

“Are you sure she’s his wife?!” one person yells.

“They have the same fucking hair and that’s her card on the countertop! It’s gotta be her!”

“That’s the woman you saw at the bank?!”

“Is that the woman you saw at the grocery store?! If we don’t get this right, Andrew will kill us!”

“It’s gotta be her!”

“You sure we got the kid?!”

“I’m positive! We gotta- ah, shit!” the one guys yells as you run down the steps and you start shooting.

You hit one of them in the arms and the other in the leg, but they’re able to get away. You would be more than happy to go after them, but Travis. He’s all you care about right now.

You make your way into the living area and see Mary dead on the floor; two shots to the chest and one to the head. You have to search for Travis (he’s always been a smart kid), but once you find him, you instantly fall apart.

“Mom-”

“Shh, don’t say any thing,” you cry softly as you cradle him in your arms. “I’m gonna call for help and you’re gonna be fine.”

“It hurts!”

“I know, baby, I know. Just focus on anything else right now,” you cry as you take out your cellphone, frantically dialing 9-1-1. “Tell me about the football game you went to with Dad,” you sob, doing your best to keep your cool.

You know that you being a complete wreck isn’t going to help a damn thing. As Travis tries to goes on about the game he went to with Lloyd, you explain to the operator that hes been shot in his ribcage, his stomach, and you’re pretty sure in his hip. You can’t get a good look because you can’t stop fucking crying and there’s so much blood everywhere. Soon enough, the medics arrive and they’re taking Mary out in a body bag and while the other set of medics are tending to Travis.

You don’t want to leave his side, but once again, you’ve been with Lloyd long enough to know that you always need to take precaution. You’re quick to run upstairs and grab your purse, your phone, your second pistol, and any sensitive information. When you make your way downstairs, you grab your credit card that was on the kitchen countertop, as well as the pistol you shot the perpetrators with, before quickly following the paramedics out.

You send Lloyd a handful of text messages, as well as your parents and his, but no one is answering. The paramedics try to offer you a sedative, but at some point, you threaten to bite them if they don’t leave you alone.

You don’t need a sedative, you need Lloyd.

About 20 minutes after you arrive, both you and Lloyd’s parents show up, asking every fucking question known to man.

“I can’t do this right now,” you sob as they keep pushing for more answers than you can provide. “I need you all to stay here. There’s something I need to do.”

“What’s more important than taking care of your son?!” Lloyd’s Mother sobs.

“Finding your fucking son, his Father!” you snap, getting up and storming out.

You don’t mean to yell at her, just like you didn’t mean to yell at the paramedics, and just like you didn’t mean to yell at the doctors when they told you that there’s a strong chance that Travis might not make it. You don’t mean to snap at anyone, you just need your soulmate. Which is why you find yourself in a car service and on your way to CIA headquarters.

“DENNY!” you scream as you storm your way inside, scaring even the security guards.

“Ma’am, you can’t-”

“GET IN MY WAY AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU!” you scream. “DENNY CARMICHAEL, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”

“Ma’am-”

“Get me Denny Carmichael, or I wear to GOD, I’m going to start killing people. You think Lloyd Hansen is crazy? Just wait until you have to deal with his ex-wife.” “Shit,” you hear one of the guards mumbles before he runs off.

Smart man.

It takes all of 40 seconds before you hear Denny yelling, “WHAT THE FUCK, Y/N?!”

“Call Lloyd and bring him back. I don’t care what the fuck he’s doing, I don’t care how important it is, get him back here, now!”

“You know I can’t...why are you covered in blood?!”

“GET HIM BACK HERE, DENNY! This isn’t a fucking request!”

“Y/N, you know I can’t just-”

“Travis has been shot, Denny. He’s been shot and he might not make it.”

“....what?”

“Someone is mad at Lloyd and they went after us for revenge...none of that matters right now! Your fucking godson is in surgery and his Father needs to fucking be here! I don’t care how important this mission is, you get him back here, and you get him back here now!”

“Okay okay, I’m on it. Just please-”

“I don’t see you on the FUCKING PHONE, DENNY!”

“Jesus, I’m on it! Just...lets get you back to the hospital, okay? Trav needs you both, so lets get you back.”

“Denny...I can’t handle this...I can’t do this without him,” you sob, finally breaking down as you collapse onto Denny and sob into his shoulder.

“We’ve been through this with Lloyd. It’s going to be okay. He’s a Hansen, isn’t he? If I believe he’s gonna pull through, then you have to, too.” “I need him home, Denny. I can’t handle this without him.”

“I’ll get him back here, lets just get you to the hospital, okay?”

All you do is nod and Denny leads you both out as he makes his way to his car.

Denny knows that you’ve never forgiven for him for when Lloyd almost died, but you also know Denny loves Travis. He loves both you and Travis more than he cares to admit, because (like Lloyd) he hates showing any other emotion besides hard ass.

However, besides the fact that Denny actually cares about you, he also knows how much you and Lloyd are still obsessed and in love with one another. So, instead of leaving your side when you two arrive at the hospital, he sits next to you and lets you rest your head on his shoulder. You hear his soft sobs, and you want to be there for him, but you just can’t in the moment. So much has happened and your brain (as well as your heart) can’t figure out how to make heads or tails of all of this.

Hours go by and you’re almost asleep when you hear Lloyd yell, “WHERE THE HELL IS HE?! WHERE’S MY SON?!”

Sleep is probably something you’ll never experience again in this lifetime.

“Mr. Hansen-”

“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SON?!”

“Lloyd-” you call sleepily as you make your way out into the hallway.

“YOU!” he shouts before shoving you against the wall with his hands around your neck.

“LLOYD!” his Mother shouts.

“Tried...tried to get you back...earlier,” you cough as you waive everyone else off. “Didn’t...answer...”

You know he’s not actually going to hurt you, but he’s also never been good at processing bad information, and this is earth shattering news.

“Let her go, Lloyd!” Denny demands.

“You were supposed to be watching him!” Lloyd yells, ignoring everyone else. “Where were you?! Getting your cunt fucked by some other-”

He’s cut off by you slapping him hard across the face, and his grip instantly loosens.

“Where were YOU?! I was at home, with our son on the weekend that you were supposed to have him! The fucking weekend you requested in the first fucking place! Look at me, Lloyd! Where the fuck does it look like I was?! I was there, in the house, when two people came in and shot Mary, thinking she was me, and then-”

“They thought...”

Lloyd’s eyes go from anger to full blown rage, and he instantly lets go of you.

“We have the same hair color and my credit card was on the kitchen counter-”

“Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on?!” your Mom yells.

You give Denny a look and he’s quickly ushering everyone back into the waiting room.

“Where is he?” Lloyd asks softly after a few moments, trying to think as well as control his rage.

“He’s still in surgery.”

“Are you-”

“I’m fine, Lloyd. Physically at least.”

“You’re moving in with me for the time being.”

“Lloyd-”

“It’s just fucking safer that way. This isn’t a discussion or a debate, you’re packing what you need, selling that house, and moving in until you find a new one.”

As much you want to disagree with him, you know he’s right.

“I’ll pack some things-”

“Pack everything you need. I’ll get fucking movers if needed. I don’t want you back in that house at all.”

“Lloyd-”

“I can’t deal with them trying to take you away from me twice. I’ve already got Travis to be worried about...I can’t be worried about you too, Y/N. You may not believe it, but you are my whole world, you always have been. I’m not strong enough to deal with it.”

You make your way over to him and wrap your arms around his waist, and he gives you the tightest hug hes ever given you.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispers softly into you hair, and you force yourself to hold back tears.

“I can’t go to that house alone, Lloyd. Not because I’m scared, but because...”

“I know, baby. How long has he been in surgery?”

“6 hours,” you sigh.

“Lets go now, drop your stuff off at my place, and we’ll come back, okay?”

You just nod as you let go of him and take his hand. Neither of you bother telling your families your plan, because you need a break and Lloyd will just start yelling. You grab your purse and he sends Denny a text telling him you two will be back shortly.

The car ride is somber and quiet, Lloyd holds your hand the entire time, and you keep checking your phone to see if they’re any updates. Tina has sent you a handful of texts, but you don’t have the strength or energy to respond. You haven’t slept for hours, you’re now covered in dried blood, and you’re body is dehydrated from all the tears you’ve cried.

By the time Lloyd pulls up to your house, you just want to take a fucking nap.

“Pack some clothes and I’ll leave post-its on the things you really want, so the movers know what to pack,” Lloyd tells you softly as you both stand in the doorway of your house.

The reality of whats happened in the last few hours hits you all over again, and you just stand there frozen.

“Hey, nothing is gonna happen. I’m here,” Lloyd promises, gently placing a hand on your lower back.

“How...um...how will you know what to...” you sniffle.

“I know you well enough to know what matters and what doesn’t. Just get clothes, okay?”

“I don’t know...the living area is where everything...I don’t know if anything’s been cleaned...it doesn’t look like it so...ya know.”

“Let me worry about everything, you just get some clothes,” he urges as his phone goes off. “It’s Denny.” “Is it an update?!”

“If it were, one of our parents would have called. I’ll take it and take care of everything else, you just grab clothes.” “Okay,” you sob softly.

You make your way past the kitchen and living area as quickly as you can, and practically run up the steps. You grab two suitcases, and just pulling things out of your drawers, not even paying attention to what you’re grabbing. You pull out drawers from your makeup dresser and just dump all their contents in, and you’re about to do the same thing with the drawers from your nightstand when you hear a loud thud.

“FUCK!” Lloyd yells and you’re instantly running down the steps.

“What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m sorry, Hummingbird.”

“Is Travis-”

“There’s no update.”

“What’s wrong-”

“You don’t need to hear it right now.”

“Lloyd, don’t push me out. Not right now. What did Denny say?”

“A message was left for me. They’ve got eyes on Travis and they’re coming for you next-stop, I’m home now,” he tries to calm you as he rushes over to you and wraps his arms around you.

“Travis-”

“I won’t let those fuckers get their hands on you or Travis. I promise.”

“Lloyd-”

“Did I promise to always to take care of you?”

“Yes, but-”

“But nothing. Those pieces of shit only went after you because they knew I wasn’t around. It’s not gonna happen again. It’s never going to happen again.”

“Lloyd...what about you?”

“If I have to die to protect you then-”

“I can’t lose you,” you confess softly.

“Then I’m not going anywhere,” he promises you sincerely. “Finish packing and I’ll get started on marking things up.”

“Lloyd-”

“Do what I said,” he demands gently.

You take a few moments to get yourself together before returning back up the steps. You’re quick to gather up a few things before closing up your two suitcases and slowly making your way into your son’s room. You mean to grab some of his toys and a few shirts you know that he loves, but end up just sitting on his bed and looking around.

How did everything get so out of control? Aren’t there supposed to be some sort of rules? Isn’t there a line you don’t cross? Yeah, they’re all ruthless killers, and killing you would’ve been one thing, but going after your son? You know Lloyd goes to extremes, you’re not a fool, so maybe this is penance. However, for as terrible as Lloyd is, he’d never go out of his way to kill a child. The ones that hes killed were assignments, and while that’s not something to be celebrated, it speaks volumes. Lloyd did work and this was retaliation. Travis had nothing to deserve this besides be a Hansen.

The best one.

“Hummingbird?” Lloyd calls softly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“He has...favorite shirts and toys...I want him to have them, ya know? God, he loves this house so fucking much. Between the pool and the swing set, I think he wants me to leave it to him when I die,” you laugh with a sob.

“He’s going to be-”

“Don’t. Don’t give me false hope, Lloyd. I can’t...after everything, I can’t deal with it right now-”

“What did you tell me while you were pregnant?”

You instantly remember what he’s referring to and chuckle softly as you wipe your eyes, “Hansen men are the worst, so they’ll survive anything out of spite.”

“Our boy is a Hansen, isn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t have anyone else’s kid.”

“Then he’s gonna be just fine out of spite,” he smiles at you, but you can see the weariness in his eyes. “We’ll go to my house, you can take a shower, and we’ll head back to the hospital.” “I don’t have time to shower. What if he wakes up? He’ll-”

“He’ll need to not see his Mother not covered in his blood. Shower and we’ll head back, okay?”

“Lloyd-”

“Hummingbird, just trust me, okay?”

How could not?

You nod before heading over to Travis’ drawers and grabbing his favorite shirts and pajamas. You pull out his little duffle bag and pack it, putting in a few of his favorite toys, before giving his room one final look over.

“It’s going to be okay,” Lloyd promises you softly.

You close the door behind you, going back into your to grab your laptops and chargers for all your devices, then quickly follow Lloyd down the steps. Once you two are back in his car, you just keep your eyes on the house as he pulls out of your driveway.

You’d made a whole new life for yourself, and just like that, it was gone.

You two are half way to Lloyd’s when you realize, “We have to go back! I have to get the photo albums! His baby pictures, our wedding photos, family-” “Calm down, Hummingbird. I packed them. They were the first things I grabbed.”

“Are you sure you got all of them?” you ask frantically, turning around and checking the backseat.

“I’m sure. Just rest. You’ve been doing everything...just try and let me take care of things. I know I’m a dick, but at least I’m capable of getting things done,” he smirks.

You let out a small giggle as you get comfortable in the passenger seat and take a deep breath.

You forgot how nice it is when you and Lloyd work together instead of against each other.

When you two reach his house, he makes you go inside and take a shower while he brings all of your things into the house. It doesn’t hit you how worn out you are until you start taking off your clothes. Seeing them on the floor, the blood that’s now dried onto your body, makes you realize just how long you’ve been awake, and how much has happened. You make the water as hot as you can stand it, and let out a sigh of relief when it hits your skin like a million tears that you haven’t cried yet.

You lean against the shower wall and think over everything that’s happened over the last few hours, days, and months. It would be so easy to be enraged with Lloyd, because you begged him for years to quit his job, but you know hes just as torn as you are, if not more. You know how much he loves you and Travis, even if he isn’t always the best at showing it, and you know he’d take a bullet for either of you in an instant. Lloyd is a lot of terrible things, but he’s also an amazing Father. For as much as you want to be angry with him and scream at him, you know how much he loves and adores Travis. It’s not like he became a saint when Travis was born, but he did stop being so angry all the fucking time.

For all of the things that have gone wrong between the two of you, Travis isn’t one of them.

You laugh when you see a bottle of your favorite soap on the shower floor and shake your head. You know it’s not for any of the women he brings over, cause it’s never been touched and is close to it’s expiration date.

Lloyd Hansen: always the dreamer.

You grab a wash cloth off the rack next to the shower and let it get soaked before squeezing more than a handful of soap out of the bottle and scrubbing yourself as hard as you can; almost breaking the skin. You figure, if you can scrub hard enough, you can scrub the pain away. Yeah, it’s bullshit, but it’s still worth a shot, isn’t it?

“Hummingbird?” Lloyd calls as he softly knocks on the door.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?” he asks, coming into the bathroom.

“Gotta get...there’s more blood than I realized-it’s not mine,” you assure him instantly when you see the alarm in his eyes.

“When’s the last time you ate something?”

“Jesus, I don’t know. Probably...” you trail off before you fall into a fit of laughter.

“Babe?”

“I’m sorry...it’s not funny at all,” you breathe as you lean against the shower wall, “I just...we went to the grocery store. I spent over $200 on groceries that are just gonna go bad,” you laugh. “I spent over $200, saw my son’s attacker at the fucking butcher counter, and it’s all gonna spoil. Mary got killed because I had a fucking meeting and left my card on the counter, so she could order a fucking pizza because I didn’t have time to make his favorite meal and it was a sort of peace offering! Even though I had just spent a shit ton of money on groceries! You gotta see the humor in that, can’t you? It’s kinda funny?” you laugh as your tears start to fall.

“Hummingbird-”

“This is all my fault! This happened on my watch and-”

“Don’t you dare. This isn’t your fault-”

“You were all too sure of it in the hospital!”

“That was...you know me and my temper. This-”

“Lloyd...he’s fighting for his life and it’s my fault,” you cry as you slide down the wall.

“My sweet little Hummingbird,” he sighs, getting into the shower and getting on the floor with you, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

“You’re gonna ruin your clothes!”

“Fuck my clothes,” he chuckles and you laugh into his chest as you wrap your arms around him tight.

Its moments like this when you remember just why you fell in love with Lloyd. He can be so fucking sweet and caring, and he reserves that small part of himself for you. No, it’s not some Disney fantasy, but it’s enough for you. Truth be told, if Lloyd would have told you that he’d quit his job, you wouldn’t have asked for the divorce. You would’ve looked past the cheating and found a way to fix everything that was wrong. The divorce didn’t happen because of lack of love, it happened because worrying about him and Travis all the fucking time was taking a toll on you emotionally and mentally.

Keeping a pistol at your bedside, in the glove compartment, sleeping in your car outside of Travis’ friend’s houses when he would go to sleepovers, keeping another pistol in your home office...it just became too much, and it’s not like Lloyd didn’t see it, he just refused to acknowledge it. You just weren’t built like him, and you didn’t want to be. However, in his defense, it’s not like he ever hid anything from you. In his own Lloyd Hansen way, he really did try. Lloyd has never hidden just how much he loves you, and he always took all precautions to keep you safe. When Travis came along, he tried even harder to keep you both safe.

It’s not lost on either of you that the love you feel for one another has always been complicated.

“We have to get back to the hospital,” you mumble as you wipe your eyes.

“Y/N, I mean it. None of this is your fault. The way you love and lookout for him...the both of us really, this isn’t on you. I’ll kill those fuckers and I’ll keep you both safe.”

“Lloyd, what happened?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Another time, okay?”

“Don’t keep-”

“I’m not saying that I’m not going to tell you, I’m saying that enough has happened and I’ll tell you after you’ve had some rest. Plus, you know your parents are gonna have a million questions.”

“I can’t fucking deal with them right now,” you sigh as you lay your head on his chest again.

“We’ll get through this, Hummingbird. So will Travis.”

“I love you, Lloyd.”

“I love you too,” he responds softly before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

You two stay on the floor a little longer before decide it’s time to get up. You make sure all the blood and soap is off of your body, before getting out. Lloyd hands you a towel before getting out his clothes and wrapping a towel around his waist.

Even with clothes on, the man makes you weak in the knees, but it’s been so damn long since you’ve seen him naked. You can’t stop yourself from staring.

“I set you up in the spare room next to mine,” he smirks as steps into his shower shoes.

You can’t even blame him for being arrogant this time. Tattooed gorgeous fuck.

“Why-”

“Travis’ room is right across from mine, and I know you’ll feel better. It’ll make me feel better having you both so close.”

“Travis isn’t home.”

“He will be. I want all of his care happening here.”

“How are you so calm with him being at the hospital now?”

“Denny’s still there and he’s not gonna let a thing happen to him.”

“He has-”

“His Godson and you are his top priority right now. Get dressed and we’ll leave,” he tells you softly, walking over and kissing your forehead softly before leaving the bathroom.

You look yourself over in the mirror and let out a heavy sigh.

You’re gonna need a vacation and multiple spa days when all of this is over.

When you get into the spare bedroom, you smile at the three photo albums that are on your bed. He really is thorough. You throw your towel off to the side and rifle through your suitcase for something to wear but, for as silly as it is, nothing feels right. You stand there in your underwear and literally throw all of your clothes around, trying to find something, but nothing works.

“You ready?” Lloyd asks as he walks into the bedroom.

“I don’t know what to wear. How silly is that? Our son is still in surgery, and I’m trying to figure out what the hell to wear.”

“Anything will be fine, Hummingbird.”

“Then you pick, because I don’t know,” you sigh as you step aside. “I don’t know anything right now.”

“He’s going to be okay, Humming-”

“What if he can’t walk? What if...Lloyd-”

“I can go back by myself if-”

“No,” you sniffle as you dry your eyes, “I can do this. I need to be there for him. I need to be there for the both of you-”

“I’m fine-”

“You’ve never been good at lying to me, so I don’t recommend starting now,” you smile softly.

Lloyd says nothing as closes the small space between you two and kisses you passionately and walks you both back towards the bed. You don’t even fight him because you need it. You need him. Soon you feel the edge of the bed against the back of legs and you know you two need to stop.

For multiple reasons.

“Lloyd....we don’t have time...we need to get back,” you moan as he guides you back onto the bed before continuing to kiss down your body.

“It won’t take me long to make you relax,” he coos softly as he pulls your panties down. “We both need this, please,” he begs softly.

Before you have a chance to make an argument, you feel his tongue on your clit, and you lose all resolve almost instantly.

“Fuck,” you sigh, gripping his hair as you grind your pussy against his face.

Four years is a long fucking time to be without your soulmate intimately, and you can tell that Lloyd feels the same by how desperate he is to bring you off. When he easily slides two fingers into your weeping cunt, you start massaging one of your own breasts as you arch your back a little.

“So close you,” you whimper as he starts pulling on your clit with his lips, you know you’re not gonna last much longer. “Baby...baby, please!” you beg as you prop yourself up on your shoulders and meet his loving gaze.

Lloyd slides a third finger in and curls all three, and you know you’re done for.

“Oh my...fuck, LLOYD!” you scream out as you squirt all over his fingers, knowing his face will be glistening your juices.

He fucks you through your high with his fingers while he kisses his way up your body. When his lips on yours again, the taste of you ever present on his lips, you can feel just how desperate his for you on your inner thigh.

“We don’t have time for that, Hummingbird,” he husks as you start to undo his pants. “Gotta....fuck,” he groans as you start to stroke him.

“Just wanna return the favor,” you moan. “We don’t have to do that, I just...you gave me an orgasm-”

“The way I’ve been getting off to the thought of you...we don’t have time,” he moans as he forces himself to stop you.

Of course, him getting forceful with you only makes you long for him more.

“Another time, Hummingbird. We have to...Jesus!” he exclaims as you grind your hips against his. “If you still...fuck, if you still want this when we get back, I’ll be more than happy to destroy this perfect little body.”

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Hummingbird. More than I’ll ever be able to put into words,” he promises as he slowly pulls out his three fingers and you whimper in protest. “Wear the ‘Alice in Chains’ shirt with your black jeans,” he sighs as he gets up. “He can’t see you right now, but I can.”

As he walks out of the room, you lay there for a second, coming terms with another thing that was never supposed to happen, before getting up and getting dressed.

By the time you two get back to the hospital, both of your families are beside themselves, and Denny looks worn out. Also, Tina is here, and she looks just as concerned as she is anxious.

What now?

“Has there been any change?” you ask Denny as Lloyd makes his way to the nurses’ desk.

“One of the bullets hit his arteries,” Denny starts, “they were able to fix it, but the hit he took to his stomach...it was harder to get out than they expected-”

“How bad is it, Denny? And don’t bullshit me.”

“That’s why the last part has taken so long. That wound might be the one that kills him-hey!” Denny shouts, catching you as you collapse. “I said might, you don’t get to quit on him! If I have hope, you have to have it too!”

“Denny-”

“He’s still fighting, Y/N. No one has declared him dead, so he’s still here-”

“Denny-”

“He’s still here, Y/N,” he quickly interrupts. “You have to hold on to that for now.”

You rationalize everything he says with a nod before accepting his help with getting up, then making your way to the waiting area and sitting down in one of the waiting room chairs. Soon enough, you’re joined by Lloyd and you take his hand in yours before laying your head on his shoulder.

“You need to eat something, Hummingbird,” he coos softly.

“You eat something.” “I already did,” he chuckles and you playfully hit his arm. “C’mon, lets go to the cafeteria. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but just eat something. I already know you’re going straight for the wine when we get back. Eat something, please?”

“Since when do you ask nicely?”

“Since I know when to tread lightly,” he scoffs before kissing the top of your head and you laugh softly.

“I want him to be okay.”

“I know baby, but you have to be okay too. If anything changes, you know they’ll all get in contact with us immediately.”

“Fine...shit! Mary’s family and my job-”

“It’s all been taken care of. You’ll talk to Mary’s family when you’re ready, and her funeral has been covered. Just focus on Travis for now,” he tells you gently.

“Something small?”

“Something small.”

You both make your way out, hand in hand, and you don’t miss the way your Mother looks at you.

She’s clearly unhappy about it.

“We’re gonna grab a bite to eat, be back in a little,” he tells everyone, without even stopping.

“Babe, can we talk for a second?” Tina asks, looking from you to Lloyd.

Alright, what the fuck is going on?

“Sure, come with us to the cafeteria.”

“Just you.”

“Tina, what’s-”

“If it’s not an immediate update about Travis, you can talk to her when we get back,” Lloyd practically snaps before pulling you along with him.

If they slept together, you’re blowing up the fucking building...once Travis is safe, of course.

“Lloyd, I swear to God, if you slept with Tina-”

“I haven’t slept with Tina since Freshman year of college, and that was only because I wanted to know more about you. Well, that and we were both shitfaced.”

“Then what was that all about?”

“After you eat.”

“Lloyd-”

“After you eat,” he tells you more firmly before walking off towards the counter to place his order.

Fine.

“Why’d you get me a grilled cheese?” you ask as he sets a plate down in front of you.

“Well, they don’t have dumplings or pasta, so this was the next best thing,” he smirks and you laugh as you flip him off. “You said you saw one of the guys at the butcher counter in the grocery store-”

“I’m pretty sure I saw both of them at two different places, cause I heard them both trying to confirm that it was me when they shot Mary...something about how Andrew would kill them if they didn’t kill the right person.”

“Did one of them have a tattoo of an anchor between his thumb and forefinger?” Lloyd practically growls as stabs at his chicken salad.

You’re so happy hes finally started listening to you and just started eating more salad.

“The bank teller did. Uh, I didn’t go up to the butcher’s counter, but the guy had a short, brown, curly hair, and a tattoo under his eye that said ‘pain’.”

“Mother fucker!” he proclaims as he slams his hand down on the table.

Well, at least he seems to know who they are.

“Lloyd, calm down-”

“I’m gonna fuckin’-”

“Huckleberry,” you plead softly and he softens almost instantly.

“You haven’t called me that in forever.”

“Four years does feel like forever,” you smile weakly. “Tell me what’s going on. Is this why you don’t want me talking to Tina?”

“I don’t want you talking to Tina because I’m going to fucking kill her, and I have to refrain from doing it in front of our fucking family,” he mutters dangerously before shoveling a fork full of salad into his mouth.

“I’m sorry, come again? Tina? She did this?”

“I’m sure not purposely, because she loves you, but she has a very big part in all of this.”

“This doesn’t make any sense! She’s Travis’ godmother, she wouldn’t...how do you know?”

“It’s my job to know, Hummingbird. I told you, I always keep an eye out for you. Granted, she got the fake information I left, and her little workers went rouge, more than likely trying to prove themselves, and that’s why everything went wrong.” “Lloyd, she loves-” “She loves you and Travis. She hates me. I guarantee that’s why she wants to talk to you in private. The way she looked at you, the way she looked completely out of her fucking mind when she got here...this was never supposed to blow back on you. Which, poor fucking Tina, but I’m still gonna fucking kill her.”

“Lloyd, please just tell me-”

“You’re not eating.” “I’m sorry, I’m still trying to comprehend the fact that you just told me that you’re going to murder my best friend!” you whisper harshly.

“People die-”

“Fucking don’t, Lloyd. Not while our son is fighting for his life. Do not sit here and tell me how people die all the time, like we live in the same fucking reality!” you snap and he sighs.

After all this time, it’s completely insane to you how he always forgets. He would come home to feel normal. After being surrounded by killers all fucking day...it has been a while though. A while since you two have had a real and honest talk...you’re both the same, but have changed in so many different ways.

“You need to eat-”

“Do you have to kill her? We don’t even know-” “You don’t know what happened, I do. I can’t let her live, not after this.”

“Lloyd-”

“You’ll see after she talks to you. Eat.”

“Lloyd-”

“Hummingbird, please eat. I know it’s been over 24 hours since you’ve last eaten anything, so please eat.”

“How do you know so much about all the damn time?” you scowl before begrudgingly take a bite out of your sandwich.

“Just because we got a divorce, doesn’t mean I stop keeping tabs on you.”

“Lloyd-”

“I didn’t file for the divorce, you did.”

“I didn’t cheat, you did.”

“Lets not fucking do this here.”

“You’re the one keeping fucking tabs-”

“I’m not doing it to be your fucking hall monitor. I’ve have you watched so I can keep an eye out on your and keep you safe. Just because I fucked up doesn’t meant I don’t love you. You know why I did what I did-there’s an update!” he tells you as his phone goes off.

“How do you-”

“It’s my Mother, we should go-”

“Lloyd...” “He’s fine, Hummingbird. I promise,” he reassures you softly.

You both make your way back to the top floor, hand-in-hand, and you take not of how much tighter his grip gets once you get closer to where everyone is congregated.

God, how you wish you two would’ve been able to work all shit out, so you’d be able to go through this together. Not as Lloyd Hansen and his ex-wife.

“He made it through the surgery,” the doctor smiles as you both approach him. “It was touch and go for a while, but he’s strong-”

“He’s a Hansen,” Lloyd smiles proudly and you roll your eyes.

“That he is,” the doctor laughs, “he’s still not out of the woods. He hasn’t woken up and we don’t know when he will, and he’s going to need a lot of therapy, but he can go home-”

“Today,” Lloyd quickly interjects, looking towards Denny who just nods.

Whatever expenses you thought you were gonna have to worry about, they’re gone.

Your tax dollars hard at work.

“Mr. Hansen-”

“He comes home today. Whatever medical supplies he needs, he’ll have them, and whatever care is needed will be provided around the clock. My assistant is on his way and he’ll go over everything with you. Travis is not staying here.”

“Lloyd-” “He’s not staying here for another minute,” he snaps towards his Mother.

And that was that.

Soon enough, information is being taken down, plans are being made, Lloyd is all but shouting demands, he’s choosing caregivers only he trusts, and Denny is giving him the next six months off.

“What just happened?” you ask as you get in the passenger seat of Lloyd’s car.

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Lloyd-”

“You’ve done enough, Hummingbird. Let me take care of the rest.”

“He’s our son. I should know-”

“All you need to know is that you’re safe. Travis is safe, you’re safe, and I’m never letting anything happen to either of you ever again.”

“What about Tina?”

“She’s going to come over tomorrow night to talk to you. She’s gonna tell you everything and then I’m gonna stick a fucking bullet into her brain.”

“Lloyd-”

“She doesn’t get to get away with this. I know you love her and all that shit, but they’re some things that are unforgivable. This is one of those things.”

“You haven’t even heard her side-”

“I know her side, I don’t need to hear it. My son was almost killed, you were almost killed...I don’t give a fuck about how bad she feels. She’s lucky that I didn’t kill her on the spot.”

“Huckleberry, please just tell me what happened.”

“Don’t fucking call me that just because you know it makes me soft.”

“Then fucking calm down and talk to me-”

“You don’t need to worry about anything from here on out-”

“Lloyd...you still don’t get it,” you chuckle softly as he pulls into his driveway. “You aren’t not out of harms way, so I’m going to worry! This isn’t over because Travis isn’t in fucking surgery anymore! You think I married you because it seemed like a fun idea? You think I was fucking bored? You think I didn’t have other guys gunning for my affection?! I fucking love you, Lloyd! I don’t know if you’ll be okay and...lets just not get into this now. Too much has happened, Travis is getting set up in the house, we both need sleep...Huckleberry, if you don’t get it by now, you’re just never gonna get it, and I’m really sorry about that,” you shrug before getting out of his car, and slamming the door shut.

Fuck him.

If he still doesn’t get it after all this time, then fuck him. How dare he?! He should know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t be this stressed out and frustrated over someone you don’t you don’t give a shit about. The divorce never fucking mattered. Lloyd has been the center of your universe since you fell in love with him. Hell, since you fell in like with him. Then you two went and had Travis, and it just added on. Yes, you know Lloyd has his flaws and isn’t perfect, but he’s your perfect mess. You tried to not fall in love with him, but it clearly didn’t work.

Every mission he goes on scares you, because you’re not sure how he’ll come back, if he comes back at all. Every time you see him, you commit it to memory, because you might not ever see him again. You re-read his affectionate texts because your heart still yearns for him all these years later. So, if he doesn’t understand that you divorced him because you love and care for him too much, and you always will, then he can go fuck himself.

He’s slow to follow behind you, and you feel his intense gaze on you, and you know he’s going through everything in his head. As the doctors go through everything with you, and the caregivers set everything up, you wonder if he’s even listening.

You’re probably gonna have to write all this shit down for him later.

“Is there anything you need or want us to do before we leave?” one of the doctors asks as she packs up her things.

“We’re fine,” Lloyd nods as he stands off to the side.

“I know you’ll have round the clock service, but here’s my number just in case of any emergency,” she smirks at Lloyd, handing him her card before she walks out of Travis’s bedroom.

She’s a bold one, ya gotta give her that.

“I’ll sit with him so you can rest-”

“Denny’s made sure the house is heavily secured. Lets both go lay down.”

“What if he-”

“They’ll wake us up,” Lloyd reassures you, kissing your temple softly as you wrap your arms around his waist.

He’s a piece of shit, but he’s your piece shit. Divorced or not.

You lean into him for just a moment, before forcing yourself away. You slowly and quietly make your way to the room set up for you, as Lloyd goes into his bedroom and leaves the door cracked; and you tell yourself it’ll all be okay. All of you will be just fine.

You toss and turn for about an hour before you force yourself out of bed, and make your way to Lloyd’s bedroom and knock on it softly.

“You know you can always come in, Hummingbird,” he replies nonchalantly.

“I can’t sleep...”

“Get in,” he encourages, turning the covers on his bed down, keeping his attention still on his phone.

It’s not like you need much convincing.

“What’s happening?” you ask as you settle into his bed.

“Denny is still in the middle of a panic attack, so there have been 30 other guards assigned to protect this house-”

“That’s not what I mean, Huckleberry. How are you?” you ask softly as you lay your head on his chest.

“Just rest right now.”

“Lloyd-”

“You have enough on your mind and on your plate. We’ll talk about me after you rest,” he promises as he presses a soft kiss into your hair.

“Don’t...Lloyd, don’t fucking go and put yourself more at risk than you already are. Do you understand?”

“Humming-”

“I fucking mean it. I can’t do this without you...I can’t...I can’t live in a world without you. I’m already dealing with Travis....don’t you fucking...” you trail off as you start to sob.

“Changes are going to be made, Hummingbird. I swear to you, I’ll never put you through anything like this again. Concerning Travis or myself.”

“I love you, Huckleberry.”

“I love you, Hummingbird. Just sleep,” he urges, stroking the side of your arm as he kisses the top of your head. “Sleep.”

For the first time in a long time, despite all hell that happened that day, you’re able to fall asleep almost instantly. Feeling safer and more loved than you have in years.

When you wake up, Lloyd is gone but you can hear him yelling about something downstairs. You sit up to an open door and you see that the door to Travis’ room is open. You grab your phone before getting out of bed and slowly make your way to his room.

“Has he woken up at all?” you ask the doctor softly.

“Not yet.” “Is he...will he wake up? Lloyd interrupted the other doctor he could really say much...”

“We’re monitoring him closely. Yes, the surgery went better than we all expected, but his body is still weak. He took on a lot, so we need to-”

“No, I get it...I understand,” you sniffle as you take a seat in the chair by Travis’ bedside. “Can we have a minute?” “Of course,” the doctor nods with a soft smile before leaving.

“Hey sweetheart,” you sob with a weak smile, taking Travis’ hand and squeezing it softly. “It’s Mom, I finally have time,” you laugh humorlessly. “You always want to hear stories from when your Dad and I were together, so here’s a fun one,” you chuckle as you start searching through your music library, smiling once you finally find ‘Sea of Love’ by Cat Power and playing it.

“I can not begin to explain how much your Dad hates this song, but it’s one of my favorites. We got married in Hawaii and I annoyed the hell out of him until he agreed to let this be our first song. From that day on, I always played it on our anniversary, and we would dance in the living room. No matter how busy either of us were, we stop to dance to this song. Then, I got pregnant with you,” you sob with a smile as you wipe your eyes. “If you were ever wondering where you got your impeccable taste in music from, it’s me because I made you a playlist and played it ever single day that I was pregnant. Jesus, your delivery was a shit show. Your Dad was yelling at doctors, I was pelting the staff with ice chips because of course, that would make you come out faster, and your Godfather was running around like a chicken with his head cut off because it was the first time that he had ever truly given a damn about anything....both sets of grandparents were crying messes...it was a circus. However, 9 hours later, at 8 pounds and 13 ounces, you were brought into this world. You didn’t scream and you didn’t cry, you just looked at me and smiled, and we were instantly best friends. The moment your Dad laid eyes on you, he was in love with you. Everything else that was wrong didn’t matter. Holding you for the first time...I knew my life was complete. I had you, your Dad....nothing else mattered. It was everything. Soon enough, I fell asleep, but your Dad was too wired. He refused to put you down until the nurses took you from him. When I woke up, he was holding you and walking around with you while this song played,” you sob even harder as you dry your eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby. I should’ve been there. If I could’ve taken those bullets for you, I would have. I’m so fucking sorry, but please...I need you to hang on. You haven’t even begun to truly annoy me, you don’t know how to drive a car, you haven’t gone to or avoided your prom...you have a whole life to live and I’m excited to watch you live it. You are the sweetest soul and the world needs you, so please...please, just hang on for us. Your Dad and I need you so much...please,” you start crying uncontrollably and you feel an arm wrap around you.

“He’s going to be okay,” Lloyd promises softly.

“Lloyd...,” you sob as you lean into his waist. “How did...he’s a good boy! He didn’t do anything to deserve this!”

“I know, baby,” he responds, his voice cracking as he rubs your back. “It’s all going to be okay. I swear to you, everything will be fine.”

“I gotta get out of this room,” you sniffle before pausing the song, getting up, and walking out.

You go into the spare bedroom that was set up for you and rifle through your purse, until you find your pack of cigarettes. You then quickly to make your way downstairs and into the kitchen, ignoring the mercenaries that now occupy the massive living area, and grab a wine glass. You fill it to the brim before grabbing a cigarette, lighting it, then taking a seat at the dinner table.

Yeah, Lloyd hates you smoking in the house, but you think you’ve earned a pass for the next few days.

“I thought you quit,” Lloyd sighs, coming into the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of scotch.

“Well, our son is upstairs fighting for his life, so I figured I’d really commit for a while,” you mutter before taking a drag from it.

“Just say it,” he says as he takes a seat across from you.

“Say what?”

“This is my fault.”

“I’m not gonna throw you a fucking pity party, Lloyd,” you chuckle humorlessly, “not right now.”

“If this wasn’t my job-”

“If this wasn’t your job, if I hadn’t been working, if I hadn’t left my credit card out, if I hadn’t had my blinds closed, they’re a lot of fucking ‘if’s so don’t sit here and try to get me to blame you. I may be a cunt, but I’m not that fucking petty.”

“I blamed you.” “That’s because you’re a fucking asshole.” “Y/N-” “Lloyd, I don’t wanna fucking do this with you. I haven’t felt this terrible since you were in that fucking coma-”

“That’s why you never came by?”

“God, you are such a dick,” you scoff. “I was in that fucking hospital all day, every day, until you got out of that coma. When they tried to tell me I had to leave, I punched a male nurse in the face. Don’t fucking sit here and try to tell me how much I do or don’t love you, because you have no fucking idea. You can’t even begin to fathom how much you truly mean to me. How much you’ve always meant to me.”

“Then why not take me back? Why not make this work?”

You knew it was coming.

“Lloyd-” “Answer the question, Y/N. You’ve been dodging it for four years-”

“I haven’t dodged shit!”

“You haven’t fucking answered it!” “You really wanna fucking do this today?!”

“You’re already here!”

“Fine. You wanna know why we can’t just “work this out”? Because fuck you! It’s not even the fucking job! It’s you! Nothing is ever enough for you! There can never be a conversation, you just have to be right all the time! You just have to know every single fucking thing! No one else can ever be right! I love you! I love you to the point that I made myself miserable for the last two years of our marriage so that you could be happy! I had two fucking miscarriages, Lloyd! TWO! You wanna sit here and fucking tell me that I’m so selfish? That I’m a cunt?! You have no room to fucking talk! I have given you everything I have in me, and it wasn’t enough for you! I wasn’t enough for you! You are Travis’ hero, and it’s not enough for you! You have a higher kill count than anyone in the fucking agency, and it is STILL NOT ENOUGH! You’re hurt?! You’re wounded?! You and Travis are my entire universe and you still don’t fucking get it! You think that I don’t know you’re a fucking lunatic?! You think I don’t know that you have a couple of screws loose?! I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I love you and you keep missing the point! I was never expecting roses and warm hugs everyday from you, but I expected you to at least meet half way sometimes! But you never fucking did,” you sob. “Then you, being the piece of shit you are, went and fucking cheated, and you know what? I’ll take responsibility for that. I pushed you away and took away the one thing you really needed: affection. Fine, I’m a bitch and it’s all my fault. However, you couldn’t just let it be a clean split, could you? No, because Lloyd Hansen can never just accept the things he doesn’t like, can he? You just have to be a dick about it. The texts, the fucking phone calls, the blatant lack of respect for me at all! Yet, I’m always defending you to Travis. Making excuses as to why you miss his birthday parties, why you aren’t able to go to his soccer games, why you can’t go on the family camping trips, just to make sure you’re still a god in his eyes! Now, after all the shit that’s happened, you’re gonna fucking sit here and tell me that I wasn’t at the hospital while you were in that fucking coma?! You’re gonna fucking try and tell me about shit you don’t even know about?! You know they were going to let you fucking die?! They were just gonna stop working on you and I threatened each and every one of those fuckers, because a world without you in it, is a world I don’t wanna fucking live in for whatever reason! You wanna know why can’t we work things out?! Because of you! The issue has always been you! So don’t fucking sit here, being all self righteous, like I haven’t done my absolute best to make you happy since this shit show started!” you yell, ashing your cigarette on his table, because fuck him.

Lloyd says nothing, but he looks at you as if he wants to throw you across the room. Whether it’s because you ashed your cigarette on the table or because of what you said, you’re not really sure. Instead, he gets up and storms out, knocking a chair over on his way out.

Great.

You don’t know why you took the bait. You knew he was picking a fight because he feels like shit, and he needed you to yell at him. He knows how to push all the right buttons at the worse time, so when you didn’t yell at him for Travis, of course the failed marriage was the next best bet. You know he blames and hates himself for everything, but Lloyd doesn’t know how to vocalize feeling like shit or failure. That’s why you feel so fucking special when he apologizes for anything, because he never apologizes to anyone for anything.

Maybe Travis if he feels especially bad about something.

However, you took it too far this time.

It’s not like anything you said was wrong, but you didn’t have to be so fucking harsh. God, he didn’t even know about the fucking miscarriages. Yes, Lloyd Hansen is a complete and total asshole, but he’s also the love of your life. There’s a way to go about everything, and you screaming at him wasn’t the way to go about that. Yeah, he needs to feel like an asshole because it fuels his...whatever the fuck is wrong with him, but all of that at once...that wasn’t the way to do it.

You’re slow to finish off your wine before slowly making your way upstairs to his bedroom, and the scene in front of you shocks the hell out of you.

He’s sitting on the bed and crying.

To this day, you’re convinced that Lloyd Hansen has never cried, not even as a baby. Out of pure stubbornness. Sure, his voice has cracked a total of two times since you’ve known him, but hes never actually cried. As far as he’s concerned, crying is a sign of weakness. Sure, you can cry because you’re a woman, but Lloyd? He’d never dream of it. He’d get shot in the dick before he’d cry, let alone let someone else actually see it happening.

“I’m sorry, Huckleberry,” you sigh, closing the door behind you as enter the room. “I took it too far-”

“It’s what I fucking deserve.”

“Stop it. Don’t do this to yourself, not right now.”

“I was a horrible husband and I’m a horrible Father-” “No you aren’t,” you tell him softly as you stand in front of him.

“Don’t, Y/N. Don’t fucking stand there and tell me-” “Travis couldn’t have a better Father, honey. All you’re doing for him, all you’re going to do for him, it’s more than any other parent would do. Us? It’s not like all parts of our relationship were awful.” “I didn’t make it easy,” he sniffs as he wipe his nose with the back of his hand.

“I was able to give you a run for your money from time to time,” you chuckle and he scoffs as he wraps his arms around your waist. “I never stopped loving you, Lloyd-”

“Why? There’s no use cause we both know I’m not worth loving,” he questions as he looks up at you. “Because,” you smile down at him as you caress the side of his face, “you’re my Huckleberry.”

Two fools. You two have always been a pair of fucking fools.

“Lloyd,” you moan as he kisses your hip and unbuttons your jeans.

“Don’t tell me ‘no’, Hummingbird. Please, not when I need you so much,” he begs as he pulls your jeans and panties down.

“We shouldn’t...fuck! Baby!” you whimper as he starts to massage your clit with his tongue. “God, you’re so fucking good at that!”

“Always taste so fucking good,” he mutters as he easily slides two fingers into your dripping pussy.

“Oh God...fuck!”

“I’m gonna destroy this perfect little cunt, Hummingbird,” he promises as he fucks you faster with his fingers.

“Please,” is all you can get out as you grip his hair.

He resumes his assault on your clit with his tongue, before pulling on it with his lips and sucking on it. You grip his shoulder tight as you try and hang on and ignore all of the voices in your head telling you this is a terrible idea.

You know it’s a terrible idea, for a million reasons, but right now you just need him. You’ve been without his touch for so long and now, you just need his love. You need him to make you feel okay, because everything is happening so fast at once.

“I’m so fucking...ah, ah, AH SHIT!” you cry out as you coat the lower half of his face and fingers with your release.

“I’ve missed you, Hummingbird, and God, you still get so fucking wet for me,” he husks as he removes his fingers and sucks your essence off of them. The groan that leaves his mouth somehow makes you even more feral. “Take that fucking shirt off, let me see you,” demands softly as he takes off his own shirt.

Who the hell are you to disobey?

Instantly, you’re taking off your shirt and bra, and you can’t help but feel a little prideful at the way he marvels at you. After all this time, he still looks at you as if he’s never seen anymore more beautiful in his life.

“Gonna make you feel so good, Hummingbird,” he promises as he grips you tight and whips you onto the bed.

“I need you. I always fucking need you,” you whimper as you undo his belt buckle, getting fed up when you can’t stop fumbling with the damn thing, so you just force them down.

“Do you still love me?” he asks as thrusts himself inside of you, never breaking eye contact with you.

“Fuck!” you gasp, grabbing at nothing as relish in the pleasurable sting you’ve gone so long without. “It’s only ever been you for me! I’ll love you forever!”

“I love you, Hummingbird,” he broods as he fucks you harder and faster.

You feel like you’re on a cloud. Yes, you’ve had other relationships and hookups since Lloyd, but no one knows your body like he does. He knows all the right angles, what positions make you wild for him, and how to get you where you’re always desperate to be.

Lloyd knows you better than everyone else in every way.

“Don’t know how I’ve gone so long without you,” he groans as he pins your hands above your head, entwining his fingers with yours.

“I...I love you so much,” you whimper as you wrap your legs around him, grinding your hips against his. “On...only one for me!”

“Taking me so fucking well...fuck, this is still the best little snatch, baby! So fuckin’ wet!” he mumbles as he forces himself upright and forces himself deeper.

“OH MY GOD!” “Fuck! Squeezing me so damn tight!”

“Lloyd...I...I...holy shit!” you cry out with tears streaming down your face as you turn your head away.

“Look me, Hummingbird,” he demands gruffly, “wanna see your fucking face when you...fuck!”

“Please...need to...need to- FUCK!” you scream as you squirt hard and you pray this isn’t the first thing Travis hears if hes woken up.

“JESUS...FUCK!” Lloyd exclaims as he fills you, collapsing on top of you, releasing your hands as you wrap your arms around him.

Fuck, you’ve missed him.

“You tired?” he asks as he sits up and you both catch your breaths.

“Not even close.” “Such a good girl,” he smirks as he pulls out and flips you over, “cause we’re just getting started.”

Two fucking fools.

Once again, you know it’s a terrible idea, but you can’t and don’t want to stop. For as terrible as he is, Lloyd has always been your home. He’s always understood you, always accepted you as you are, always loved you, and has never made you feel less than. In his world, no one is worth saving or loving. No one except you. Besides the fact that he can easily give you orgasm after orgasm, he’s your person. He’s your person and your best fucking friend. Nothing feels right until Lloyd’s back in your life.

He’s nothing but chaos, but he’s the only way your world makes any sense.

“Daddy...too much! Can’t-” “Yes you can,” he grunts as he fucks you hard from behind, slapping your ass, hard. “This bed has never been so fucking wet!”

“Please...need to...oh my GOD, don’t fucking stop!” you whimper as you strangle the pillows.

Well, the ones that are left.

“Still such a filthy little thing! Still a dirty little Hummingbird?” “Only for you, daddy!”

“Fuck! Go ahead, fucking make a mess!”

“JESUS!” you scream as your arms give out and you make a mess for him, just like he loves.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praises as he fills you, pulling out just to watch the mixture of your juices run down your leg. “Best little cream hole.”

“Lloyd,” you whine as you lay down.

“I know, you’re tired, Hummingbird,” he coos as he smooths his hand over your ass before slapping it again.

“Daddy!”

“We’re done, I promise,” he laughs as he gets off the bed, “I’ll take care of you.”

He goes into the bathroom and you get comfortable as you settle under the covers, ignoring how wet the sheets are because of you.

“You okay?” he asks, coming back with a wet towel so he can clean you up.

He came on every part of your body, so it’s honestly the least he can do.

“It’s been a while, but I can still handle you, Hansen,” you giggle as you try and keep your eyes open.

“Sleep,” he urges as he gets in bed next to you and holds you close.

“You’re not sleeping.”

“I have work to do.”

“I’ll work with you.”

“You’ll never stop being stubborn, will you?”

“Nope,” you smile as he starts laughing. “That’s why you love me, Huckleberry.”

“And I’ll never stop.”

“Thank you, Lloyd. For coming home early and...being here-” “The fact that you have to thank me for that proves just how much of terrible-”

“Stop it, Lloyd,” you hum as you lay your head on his chest. “Even if you weren’t always the best husband, you are the best Father. I love you.”

“You need to rest.”

“I will. For now, just take a nap, at most.”

“You’re a good Father, Lloyd. You’re a good man,” you promise with a yawn.

“Sleep.”

As you rest, once again feeling safe and loved, you hope you’re providing for him the same feeling he gives you.

You hope that he feels the same peace you do.

Lloyd’s P.O.V

“How’d they get the Virgin Mary to leave her dorm?” I laughed as I stumbled a little, approaching you with his red Solo cup in hand.

“Leave me alone, Hansen,” you slurred as you leaned against the counter to stay upright.

“Well, the poet-”

“Lloyd, I am not like every other girl here. I’m not impressed with all the shit you can quote from dead old guys. Go...go away.”

“Let me impress you with something else then,” I smirked before I got on my knees and lifted up your dress.

“Lets see if that tongue is as impressive as all the girls say,” you shrugged before you took a sip of your drink.

The challenge was more than accepted.

Before you could bitch about me ripping your panties off my tongue fucking that perfect little honeypot between your legs.

“Oh fuck!”

And I’ve been addicted ever since.

I half expected you to stop me. Yeah, you were drunk, but that didn’t change the fact that you hated me. The fact that you actually let me eat you out in the kitchen at a frat party, blew my fucking mind. Letting me carry you up the stairs into my room?

I was sure I was dreaming.

“Oh my God!” you moaned as I fucked into relentlessly. “Never felt so fucking...never felt so fucking good! Never felt so full!” you whimpered as you clawed at my back.

“Yeah? Never been stretched this good?” I chuckled as I looked at this blissed out mess that you were.

“N-no, daddy! Oh...feels so...fuck, LLOYD!” you cried out as you came hard, messing up my sheets, and I had no choice but to follow your lead.

You and that fucking pussy of yours.

“I’m gonna go,” you panted after a moment.

Usually that would’ve been fine with me, but I waited so fucking long for you and before I could stop myself-

“Just stay. You’re too drunk and you’re already in a bed-”

“Can’t-”

“No point in leaving, Hummingbird,” I shrugged as if it was no big deal.

It’s funny to me to this day that you’ve never asked about that nickname, you just accepted it. Yeah, later on, I found out you love hummingbirds, but that had nothing to do with the nickname.

It was one of the first things that attracted me to you.

You were so fucking quiet in High School. You never said a thing unless you were around your friends or teachers called on you, and made sure to keep it that way no matter what.

You hummed a lot though.

Whether it was something you came up with, or your favorite song, you were always humming. You tried to keep it to yourself, but if anyone listened close enough, they’d hear you.

I always heard you.

It’s not like I ever fucking meant to pay attention to you, but once you had my attention...that was the end of it. There was no point in talking to you when we were in High School, because I already knew you wouldn’t give me the time of day. I figured we’d run into each other whenever either of us came home from college and I’d make my move then. So, imagine my fucking surprise when we got into the same damn college.

Maybe that’s why I worked so damn hard. College was a fresh start, but you were already wise to my bullshit and that’s fair. However, I wanted you and I wasn’t about to give up. Then, I saw you dancing with Tina in the living room and you looked so fucking happy and carefree. You looked so fucking perfect so, of course, I was determined to destroy every part of the goodness in you.

My plan was to fuck you and leave you begging and desperate, but that’s not what happened, is it? You made me beg for you and it pissed me the fuck off.

I woke up and you were gone.

Granted, you’re the only person I’ve had to chase after or even wanted to, but of course it made me want you more. You didn’t need or want a single fucking thing from me, you weren’t impressed by my football status, you didn’t care about my grades, and you sure as fuck didn’t care about the fact that every woman on campus wanted me. You truly were solely focused on your schoolwork.

So, of course, I had to fuck that up after going too long without your attention.

That was the problem though, wasn’t it?

After only one night, I needed more of it. More of you. I tried to not think about you, how you felt, the sounds that left your mouth, or the way you held onto me like your life depended on it. I tried to to not need you, but after two weeks without, I knew I was fucked. Hell, I knew it after the first damn day.

So, I talked you into a date. God, you were so fucking annoying about it.

“I’ll pick you up at 6 and we’ll head over to-” “I hope you don’t think we’re leaving this fucking campus,” you scoffed as you started to pack up your books.

“Why the fuck would you want our first date-” “I don’t care about how much fucking money you have, Lloyd. You want my attention? Earn it. Fancy restaurants and a nice car aren’t going to get you anywhere with me, Huckleberry,” you smirked at me. “See you at the cafeteria on Friday at 6,” you stated plainly before walking away.

Of course you made me work for it. It was stupid for me to think this would be simple, because if it had been, I wouldn’t have wanted you. From day one, you’ve always been a challenge and I’m nothing but a fucking sucker for a good challenge.

However, soon enough, you became more than that to me. Before I knew it, my entire life revolved around you. I needed you by my side on campus, I needed you cheering me on at football games, I needed your opinion on everything, I needed to be in your space at all times...

I was in love with you.

I never imagined falling in love, because I never believed in it. Yeah, my parents have been married for over 30 years, but it’s a sham. They’re both equally terrible to each other, so why the hell should I believe anything between them is real? So, when it came to you, I was skeptical, because why wouldn’t I be?

To this day, I still find it funny how much you didn’t wanna love me back. You tried to fight it so hard, but every date I asked you on (and I stress asked you on, because you were such a fucking brat about it), you never turned down. Soon enough, you were just as in love with me as I was with you. That makes me the asshole though, doesn’t it though?

I never told you that I had been talking to Denny about the CIA since Freshman year. Every time I tried, we were having a good day. The little trips I would surprise you with, the impromptu study sessions I couldn’t get you to take a break from, the weekend dinners with your parents...there was just never a good time.

Then, I finally told you, and it was a fucking shit show.

“Where are you going?” I sighed as you got out of my bed.

“Back to my fucking dorm, like I told you.” “Hummingbird-”

“We fucked, Lloyd. We fucked like we always do, it doesn’t change shit.”

“I don’t see what you’re so fucking mad-”

“YOU COMPLETE ASSHOLE!” you shouted at me, finally looking at me, “I fucking love you and you know that! And what does that love get me? A sociopathic asshole!

“Do you want me to pull you back into bed and-”

“We can’t fuck this problem away, Lloyd! You kept this from me and now-”

“You know that I’m more than capable-” “I LOVE YOU! YOU FORCED YOUR WAY INTO MY LIFE AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I HAVE LOVED ANYTHING OR ANYONE....you know what? Fuck you. You’re a fucking piece of shit and you can go fuck yourself,” you scoffed as you toed on your sandals.

It’s not like you were wrong.

“You know that I’d never-”

“Lloyd, I can’t have this argument with you and I don’t fucking feel like it. You wanna fucking join the CIA? Then go ahead.”

“Why are you-”

“You piece of shit! What if you get seriously hurt?! What if you don’t make it back to me?! You expect me to just be okay? You think I’ll just live on and love again? Fuck you!”

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic!”

“I swear, I fucking hate you!” you yelled before storming out.

That should’ve been enough, shouldn’t it? I should’ve thrown it all away and made you the center of my world, but you’re right.

It’s never enough for me.

I got you to forgive and then marry me, and it was the happiest moment of my life at the time. I should’ve told Denny I wasn’t going to join him, but that wouldn’t have been in my nature, would it? Since I knew you weren’t leaving, I ignored what you wanted. I knew I could keep you safe, so I did whatever I wanted. Of course I noticed you getting fed up with my shit, but I was always able to reel you back in, so it didn’t phase me.

I was getting my way and that’s what mattered.

Then you got pregnant.

“Jesus, I know I don’t matter to you, Lloyd, but-”

“Fuck you! You know you’re my entire world!”

“Yeah okay,” you scoffed as you poured yourself a glass of orange juice, “it’s not just about me anymore though-” “I’ve kept you safe for all these years-” “We’re having a fucking baby, Lloyd! We are bringing a child into this world! You can’t always-” “I’ll never let anything happen to you or our child!”

“Whatever,” you laughed as you opened the door to the patio. “Keep fucking thinking you’re God for as long as you want, but you’re fucking us all over in the end. Fuck you.”

Of course you ended up being right, because fuck you.

Travis was born and he was perfect. How could he not be? He’s a fucking Hansen. At first, everything was perfect and you seemed to calm down a bit. Then, my missions got more dangerous, you couldn’t go out when you wanted, Travis rarely ever left the house, and then came the great debate of him being home schooled.

“You’ve lost your fucking mind if you think our son is being fucking home schooled,” I chuckled incredulously.

“What else do you want?! If I can barely leave the house-”

“He needs to have some sense of normalcy!”

“I swear to God! I can’t go to the fucking grocery store without someone fucking watching me, but our son can happily go to Kindergarten? What fucking sense does that make to you, Lloyd?!”

“I’m fucking trying-”

“No, if you were trying, you’d quit your fucking job!”

“Don’t start that shit!”

“I’m tired of excuses! I’m tired of all this-”

“Mama!” Travis called from his bedroom, and I could tell he was having one of his night terrors.

“I’ll go-”

“He said ‘Mama’, ‘not absentee Father’,” you sighed as you put your wine glass down.

“That’s not fair!”

“Don’t,” you laughed as you walked away from me, “don’t fucking try and tell me about what’s fair and what isn’t. You made me love you just enough to accept a life that’s total and complete bullshit.”

That’s when it started to fall apart. Two fucking miscarriages? Those arguments are starting to make a lot more fucking sense.

“Lloyd, you were gone for almost a month. Travis still young! You can’t just keep-” “Can you not use our son as a weapon against me?! Besides, why stay around when you refuse to try again for another child?!”

“Fucking watch it!” he growled as you reached for a wine glass.

“All you fucking do is drink wine and smoke! You’re fucking moody or crying all the fucking time-” “Lloyd, I swear to God!” you screamed, as you opened the bottle and almost filled your glass. “Shut your fucking mouth about shit you don’t fucking know about!” “Well, if you’d just fucking talk to me-” “YOU’RE NEVER FUCKING HERE ANYMORE!” you screamed before you stormed out.

The sleeping in separate rooms, not talking to one another, arguments over the dumbest things, finding reasons to avoid one another...

I was losing you.

I couldn’t really blame you though, could I? Because it was all me. I was the one unwilling to compromise, because I need to be in control all the time. So, I pretended that I didn’t see the issues, and pretended to not understand that I was the fucking problem. Then, my pretending turned into resentment, because how could it not? You were the only person in my life to make me feel any normalcy or love, and then you just took it from me. You took it like it was nothing.

So, since you hurt me, I had no choice but to hurt you.

Yeah, I remembered what you said about cheating, but I was so sure that I could get you to stay, because I always could in the past. I never wanted you to leave, I just wanted to grab your attention again. I hated every second of it, because she wasn’t you.

She wasn’t my home.

For all my clever thinking, I knew it was over the second I walked through the door. The look on your face let me know that you were still hurting from our last argument, and you didn’t even look a little excited to see me. However, I’ve never lied to you and I wasn’t about to start then.

I was so angry with you for filing for the divorce, because I didn’t want to acknowledge that it was my fault. Nothing can ever be my fault because I’m a god, right?

So, because you refused to back down, I of course had to be a piece of shit about it. I knew the phone calls and texts were hurting you, but I told myself it was worth it because you hurt me. Because I’m a selfish fuck, and that’s a fact that’s not lost on either of us. I would see it in your eyes when you would drop Travis off, but you’ve always been too good for me and never said anything.

Then you started dating.

“So, you’re just bringing our son around anyone?” I bit once Travis ran into your house.

“I don’t wanna argue with you, Lloyd,” you sighed, clearly tired of the back and forth we constantly went through. “How was he this week?”

“You’re dating a fucking lawyer?”

“It’s only been two dates. Why are you having me followed?”

“So that I know you’re safe.”

“Lloyd, you can’t keep doing this-”

“Just come back to-”

“I’m sorry, didn’t you call me last week so I could hear you fucking two other women? Hearing you command them and telling them what positions you wanted them in?”

“You know-” “I don’t tell you how to live your fucking life, even when you go out of your way to hurt me, so don’t start telling me I can’t try to fucking move on,” you snapped as your eyes started to water.

Why can’t I ever put my fucking ego and pride aside? Why do I always have to hurt the one person who makes living worth while?

“Are you seeing him again?”

“It’s really not any of your business. Now, how was Travis?”

“He wants to know when his Mother became such a fucking whore.”

“God, you are such an asshole! See you next fucking week!” you cried before you slammed the door shut.

As always, I took it too far.

“What?” you sobbed when you answered the phone later that night.

I’m such a fucking asshole.

“I’m sor-” “Save it, Lloyd. You always go out of your way to hurt me, then fucking apologize.”

“I love you.” “Don’t. Just don’t, okay? I am trying my hardest to get all of this shit right, you’re always going on some fucking mission-”

“I miss you.”

“You can’t keep doing this to me, Lloyd,” you sobbed. “I’m not some fucking toy that you can just play with-” “Just come back to me, I’ll make changes-”

“Will you quit your job?”

“Hummingbird-”

“If you’re not quitting, we really don’t have anything else to discuss.”

“We have everything left to discuss.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m your Huckleberry and I love you.” “Then why don’t you treat me better?” you asked before you hung up.

It’s not like it wasn’t a fair fucking question. You give me everything and I give you bare minimum. It’s not lost on me that you’re more than I deserve, but if I could just stop trying to control everything all the fucking time...stop trying to control you, this could work. I can’t though, can I? There are just parts of me that won’t change. Not really for lack of trying, but it’s embedded into my system at this point.

I couldn’t stop myself from looking into the guys you were dating, secretly threatening them, and watching what you were up to. No, I never told you, but I knew you knew you. The scowl on your face whenever you saw me let me know that you knew. It’s not like you ever said anything to stop it though, so you clearly didn’t have a problem with it. We’re complete fucking fools for one another, so knowing that I was desperate for and needed you, made you just as happy as it made to know that you were still in love with me.

Even if you refused to say it out loud.

It’s not like you ever took getting back together off the table, you still wear the Hummingbird necklace I got you after our third date, and I know that you love me just as much as I love you. If I can get my shit together, I know you’ll take me back, but I need you to compromise. It’s not fair to ask of you, but I can’t just give all of this up. It’s the only thing that keeps me normal around you. Yeah, you accept me flaws and all, but you deserve better.

I want you to have better.

“What?” I ask as a soft knock breaks me out of my thoughts.

I know I told you I was going to work, but leaving your side...it’s been so long since I’ve had you like this, and I just can’t pull myself away from you until I have to.

“They found the guys,” a mercenary tells me as he opens the door softly.

“Alive or dead?” “Alive. They’re in the cellar.”

“I’ll be down there in a minute.”

As I go to get out of bed, your grip on me gets tighter, “It’s okay, Hummingbird.”

“Where..what’s going on?”

“You sleep. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Travis-”

“He hasn’t woken up.” “Lloyd-”

“Rest, Hummingbird,” I encourage before I press a kiss into your hair.

“I love you, Lloyd,” you tell me lazily.

“I love you too, Hummingbird.”

In a matter of seconds, you’re back to sleep and it makes me melt all over again. I know we’re not together anymore, and I know it’s my fault, but having you like this...I’m going going to fix all of this.

First, I’m going to make sure Travis is okay, then I’m gonna make you mine again.

I’ll never lose you again.

Y/N’s P.O.V

You’re awoken by your phone buzzing on the floor. You roll around for a bit, trying to regain consciousness, before feeling around on the floor for your pants, and fishing your phone out of your pocket.

Tina.

In all the chaos, you’d forgotten all about what Lloyd said. You checked the time and saw that it was 10pm, and you’re sure shes been calling you for a while.

You take a deep breath before answering, “hey.” “Hey is everything okay?! I’ve been calling-” “Yeah no, I’m just exhausted. I’m honestly even sure what day it is at this point.”

“I can come over another day-” “No, it’s fine. You seemed like you really needed to talk to me.” “Yeah, I’ll head over now-”

“I’m at Lloyd’s. He feels better having both Travis and I close after everything.” “Oh,” is all she responds with.

God, please don’t let Lloyd be right about this.

“I’ll let him know you’re coming by. Do you remember the address?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you in a bit,” she responds softly before hanging up.

Fuck.

You’re slow to get dressed as you go over what happened just a few hours ago, and what’s about to happen. How can so much happen in such little time? Literally everything was fine and then in an instant, your entire world is flipped upside down and falling apart.

And how did you respond? By fucking your ex-husband.

What now? You know him well enough to know that this isn’t going to be a one and done kind of thing. It’s not like he didn’t know that you never stopped loving him, but now you’ve let him in again. Physically, emotionally, and intimately. So, he’s gonna try and work his way back in, which isn’t even the main issue. The real issue is that you want to let him back in.

You’ve missed him so damn much and he’s been amazing (for the most part) about handling all that’s going on. You want to fall asleep in his arms again, you want his kisses to wake you up in the morning, you want everyone in one fucking house again, you want to be with your soulmate again.

Being with Lloyd is the only thing that makes you feel sane.

There’s his job though. He’s not going to quit, and it’s clearly not getting any safer. It’s not lost on you that Travis is across the hall fighting for his life, because someone wanted revenge on Lloyd. However, it’s also not lost on you how much more protective he’s going to be over the both of you now.

Why can’t any of this shit be easy?

To make everything all that much more complicated, even if it turns out that Tina isn’t responsible for the hell you’re currently in, Lloyd has decided that she is and he isn’t going to change his mind. From the tone in her voice, you already know she’s coming over with a fully loaded gun, and the last thing you need is for a fucking gunfight to break out where your child is currently laying unconscious. Something you wouldn’t put past either of them, because when they’re both angry enough, they’re both unreachable.

And Lloyd is way past furious.

You scoff when you notice all the feathers all over the floor from one of the pillows you both destroyed. In your defense, if he hadn’t been fucking you completely senseless, while biting and sucking on the hollow part of your neck (which he knows makes you crazy), then you wouldn’t have started clawing at the pillows so fucking hard.

You quietly exit the room and make your way to Travis’ room, where he’s still unconscious.

“Has there been any change at all?” you ask the new doctor sitting next to his bedside.

The one who gave Lloyd her card. Great.

“No, but that’s not a bad thing. His vital signs are good and nothings happened to cause any alarm. We just have to wait and see when he’ll wake up.”

“If he’ll wake up,” you sigh as you walk over to the bed and take his hand in yours, “I love you, sweetie. Your Dad and I love you so much,” you promise softly, fighting back tears. “I’ll be back in a bit to check on him,” you nod towards to the doctor as you let go of Travis’ hand.

With that, you leave the room and close the door behind you. You want the both of them to hear as little as possible.

Once you’re finally downstairs, you only see half the mercenaries in the living area, which means work is being done. You look out the window and see that Lloyd’s car is still home, because he likes to drive himself when he’s angry. He likes to piss people off while driving, so they’ll get out and wanna fight, and he beats the shit out of them and gets his anger out that way.

Like you’ve told him before, it’s not lost on you that he’s a lunatic.

But where the hell is he? You know he wouldn’t do anything in the backyard, and it’s not even because he’s afraid of someone seeing. It would get too messy, and it’ll drive him insane. Same with the garage. Lloyd needs everything to be clean and neat at all times.

Well, almost at all times.

“Where’s Lloyd?” you finally ask one of the mercenaries.

“He told us-” “Where is he?” you demand more than ask again, cocking an eyebrow.

“He’s...uh...he’s...”

“You know, you really have to ask yourself, how crazy someone has to be to marry Lloyd Hansen. What could they be capable of?” you warn with a growl. “Now, where is he?”

“He’s downstairs, in the cellar,” the poor man quickly explains as he points towards the direction it’s in.

Since when has there been a fucking cellar? Then again, it has been a few years since you’ve been in this house.

“Thank you,” you smile sweetly before turning and making your way to the door.

The second you open it, you can tell that a lot of people have been killed down here. It’s the one part of the house that isn’t painted, the lights are flickering, the walls are stone, there’s no carpeting, it’s cold, and they’re dried blood smears on the wall.

It’s downright terrifying.

The closer you get to the bottom step, the more you regret your decision to search for Lloyd. Yes, you know what he does for a living, but this is the first time you’ve actually seen this part of his life. While hes never hidden anything from you (since you chewed him out in college), hes also never shown you this side of him. The unhinged side? Yes. The murdering side? No.

You quickly start making your way down the hall, and the closer you get to the end of it, the louder the grunts become. As you walked past the other closed doors, you don’t even want to begin to think about what goes on in them.

“You know,” you hear Lloyd chuckle menacingly, “my torture process is usually a lot worse than this, but making you bleed is just too damn fun. “Please-”

“Where the fuck is Andrew?!” he shouts, and you’re more than sure hes punched the man in the face.

Jesus.

You knock softly on the door and get me with a gruff, “What?!”

“It’s me” you respond softly.

“Be right back, Pork Chop,” you hear Lloyd breathe.

Soon enough, he’s opening the door and you the sight of him has you wet almost instantly. His hair is wild and some of it matted to his forehead, his knuckles are covered in blood, he’s breathing heavy, they’re beads of sweat on his forehead, and he’s dressed tight fitting all black clothes, with black loafers to match.

The fact that he also looks so wild and feral has you ready to jump on him and fuck him in front of everyone. Maybe you are just as unhinged as him.

“Is everything okay, Hummingbird?” he asks softly as he cleans off his hands with a white cloth.

What the hell did you come down here for? Oh, yeah, that.

“Tina is on her way here.” “Talk to her down here in that room,” he sighs, pointing at the room two doors down.

“Lloyd-”

“I know I’ve done things that have hurt you in the past, but its never been anything on this scale. I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t sure. I don’t want to take anything else from you, but she has to go. I can’t forgive this. The only reason she isn’t dead yet is out of courtesy towards you,” he mutters, fury burning in his eyes.

“She’ll want to know why I wanna talk to her down here.” “Tell her it’s in case you two start yelling at each other. This cellar is soundproof.”

“Lloyd...are you sure?” “Do you trust me?”

“I always have.” “Then trust me on this,” he assures you softly.

You can’t help but find it funny that he can switch his attitude so fast when you’re around.

“How will you know...?”

“They’re a million little tricks I’ve put down here. I won’t be far at all.” “Just...let her at least explain her side of it. Hear her out and then, if you still think...”

“Hummingbird-” “Lloyd, please. I’ve been through hell these last few hours? Days? I can barely tell which way is up at this point. If you’re going to kill my best friend, I at least want her to have a fair chance,” you sigh.

“Fine,” he agrees begrudgingly.

You resist the urge to kiss him before going to leave, when he grabs your wrist, pulls you close, and kisses you passionately.

You swear you can kiss him all fucking day.

“I’ll be close by, okay?” he breathes once you two break apart, before turning his attention to back to everyone else in the room.

You honestly forgot about them.

“Hook the cables up to his chair,” he demands, his tone authoritative and menacing like he hadn’t sweet with you seconds ago. “If I can’t beat an answer out of him, maybe I can freeze it out him. I want it on the highest setting until I get back, you understand me?”

“Yes, Mr. Hansen,” one of the mercenaries answer, “what about the other man?” “See if survived the waterboarding. If he did, see if you can get him to talk. If he won’t, break his ankles and shoot him in his knee caps,” Lloyd shrugs before closing the door.

Of all the times for you to be turned on.

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon, Hummingbird. You should get upstairs.”

“Lloyd, you promise-”

“I swear to you, I’ll be fucking fair. You may not like the outcome, but I’ll wait and hear her out.”

“Thank you.”

Your heart is heavy as you turn and start on your way back down the hall and up the stairs. You believe Lloyd when he says you’ll hear her out, but when he’s this sure about something, you know it’ll take a miracle to change his mind. If he were the one who got attacked because of her actions, he truly wouldn’t care, but hes always known how to outsmart her and hit her where it hurts. However, it was an attack on you and Travis, and he’s having a hard time not seeing red.

As soon as you reach the top step, you hear the doorbell.

Here we go.

“Hey,” she greets you with a warm smile and a hug, which return, since it’ll probably be the last one you ever give her. “How’s Travis?”

“There hasn’t been a change, the doctor is upstairs with him right now.” “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“For now, it’s just a waiting game,” you smile weakly. “Lets have this talk down in the cellar. Lloyd’s working down there anyway, so he’s not gonna be around, and it’s soundproof. If we start yelling, and I have a feeling we will, I don’t want everyone hearing. One of the mercenaries might tell Lloyd, and he’s already hot headed-” “When isn’t he?” she scoffs.

“Tina.” “I’m sorry, that was a low blow. His son is...I’m sorry,” she sighs. “Lets go,” she smiles weakly.

You two make your way down the steps in silence, and when you reach the room Lloyd told you to go to, you hear gun shots followed by the most agonizing scream you’ve ever heard.

Guess that guy didn’t talk.

“So, what’s up? What happened?” you ask as she closes the door behind the both of you.

“Just...we’ve been through a lot, Y/N. So, please just hear me out.”

Fucking great.

“What happened, Tina?” you sigh, your hands on your hips because you’re already exhausted.

“What happened to Travis....what almost happened to you...it wasn’t supposed-” “The fuck does that mean?!”

“They weren’t supposed to go after you! Lloyd was the fucking target and they had been tailing him. He was supposed to be back on the day that everything happened, but when he wasn’t back, they decided to-” “Are you fucking shitting me?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“It wasn’t...listen, how much do you know about Prague?” “Lets not fucking talk about Prague,” you laugh incredulously as you start to pace.

“I’m sorry, but if we don’t, you won’t get it-”

“I’m never going to get it, because you know how much I love him! You saw how I reacted when-”

“He killed Suzanne!”

“Tina, you better be fucking kidding me,” you scoff in disbelief. “You wanted the love of my life killed, because he killed your revenge girlfriend?!”

“She wasn’t-” “Don’t fucking say she wasn’t! You started dating Suzanne to get back at Denny! You couldn’t stand her just as much he couldn’t! She tried to kill Lloyd, and almost did, and he killed her instead! It’s his fault that he’s good at his job?! You saw how broken up I was when he almost died! All the hell I went through, the panic attacks, the sleepless nights, trying to take care of Travis-”

“Lloyd killed a girl-”

“BECAUSE IT WAS HIS JOB!” you shout at her. “Jesus, I know that he’s a prick, but you and I both know that when it comes to work, he does what needs to be done no matter how bad he may or may not feel about it later. It’s not like he goes out of his fucking way to kill kids! No, this is about your fucking bruised ego. Denny fell out of love with you, Lloyd kicked you out of his office when you got hysterical, and you felt humiliated. Did you forget that I’m your best fucking friend and you told me all of this?!”

“Y/N-”

“So what? You put out a hit on him and it fucking backfired? No surprise there,” you mutter.

“Don’t be fucking cruel!”

“I’m sorry, my son is fighting for his life and I was almost killed! YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME NOT TO BE CRUEL!”

“Y/N-” “What happened, Tina?!”

“I met Andrew at bar and I had seen him around because of work,” she sighs, running an exasperated hand through her hair. “We had a few drinks, we got to talking, and we realized that we have a common enemy-”

“Lloyd. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you laugh humorlessly.

“I only gave him Lloyd’s information and he had his guys follow him around-”

“Tina...fuck you,” you laugh, “fuck you for all of this!”

“He was supposed to be-”

“YOU SAW ALL OF THE HELL I WENT THROUGH! AND YOU WERE GOING TO PUT ME THROUGH IT ALL OVER AGAIN?!”

“HE ISN’T GOOD FOR YOU OR TRAVIS!” “YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE THAT! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HE IS WITH HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HE IS WITH ME BEHIND CLOSED DOORS! YOU DON’T KNOW!”

“YOU WANNA BE WITH SOMEONE WHO MURDERS CHILDREN?!” “IT IS HIS FUCKING JOB! YOU DON’T GET TO SIT HERE AND LECTURE ME ABOUT SHIT WHEN YOU’VE CRIED TO ME ABOUT ALL THE INNOCENT PEOPLE YOU’VE HAD TO KILL! I MARRIED HIM, I HAD A CHILD WITH HIM, HE OWNS MY HEART AND SOUL, AND BECAUSE OF SOME PETTY FUCKING VENDETTA, WHERE HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING WRONG, YOU WERE...GOD! I HATE WHEN HE’S FUCKING RIGHT! I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR THIS, TINA!” you scream as your tears start to fall. “Do you understand that Travis might die?! He may not ever be able to walk again, we don’t what his memory will be like if he wakes up...he almost died because of-”

“Y/N...babe, I’m sorry...I didn’t think-” “No, you didn’t fucking think! Did you forget that you had to keep Travis for two weeks because I wasn’t even capable of cooking?! YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT TO ME AGAIN OVER A PETTY DISAGREEMENT-

“I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE-”

You don’t even jump when the gun goes off from the side of the room. You just breathe heavily as she falls to the ground and try to feel something. Your best friend not only betrayed you, but is also the reason why your son is fighting for his life, and shes been killed right before your eyes and yet...

You feel nothing.

“If it makes you feel any better, I really wanted to be wrong,” Lloyd sighs as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

“I don’t feel anything. I’m all out of fucking feelings,” you mutter, leaning against him because leaving his side seems impossible at the moment. “Have either of those guys said anything yet?”

“I haven’t gone back in-” “I want to go in with you.” “Hummingbird-” “I wasn’t asking.”

Lloyd lets out a heavy sigh but nonetheless, presses a soft kiss into your hair before taking your hand and leading you out of the room. You take one last look at Tina’s dead body before he closes the door. You hear him clear his throat as he places his gun back into the waist of his pants.

“You sure, Hummingbird?”

“I just saw my best friend get killed. I’m pretty fucking sure I can handle two pieces of shit who tried to kill my son.”

“Y/N, don’t be mad at me for-” “I’m not mad at you, Lloyd. I’m truly not. I’m just fucking tired and I want this over with. I want Travis safe, I want you safe, and I want...I just want all of this to be over.”

“I know, Hummingbird. I promise, as soon as I find out what I need to, I’ll finish everything.”

“Then we should get in there.”

“I guess you’re right,” he sighs.

He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text before shoving it back in his pocket and leading you into the room.

“Looks like you’ve got a visitor...oh, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Lloyd chuckles as you close the door behind you two. “There’s a pathetic little thing lying on the floor in the other room. Get rid of her,” he commands to two of the mercenaries, before returning his gaze to the shivering man in the chair. “As for you-”

“Mr. Hansen-”

“I’m working!” he snaps.

“I understand, but the other guy...he’s gone.”

“I guess he really wasn’t a daisy,” Lloyd chuckles. “Get rid of him, he’s of no use to me now. Drop him into the bottom of the ocean, or chop him up and get rid of him in the tub, it really makes no difference to me,” he shrugs as he once again turns his attention to the man in the chair. “Do you wanna tell me where Andrew is, or do you wanna try out another form of torture?” Lloyd asks sarcastically as he takes out his pistol.

“Please, just-” “Boring,” he sighs, rolling his eyes as he fires a shot into the guys arm. “Tell me what I want to know!”

“He’s gonna-”

“He’s not going to do anything I won’t do much worse! Now, tell me where the fuck-”

“Lloyd,” Denny interrupts as walks through the door, “we need you upstairs.”

“Denny-” “It’s an update on Andrew. They just caught two guys trying to break-in. Committed suicide before we could get anything out of them, but they came with a note.”

Lloyd sighs and drops his head, “we keep getting interrupted, Pork Chop. I’ll be right back. Lets go, Humming-” “I wanna stay in here,” you interrupt softly, which has Lloyd quickly turning all of his attention towards you. “What?” “You go, I’ll stay.”

“Y/N-” “I’m fine, Lloyd. You go, I’ll stay,” you repeat, not taking your eyes off of whimpering piece of shit in the chair.

Lloyd lets out another heavy sigh, but says nothing as he heads out and closes the door behind him.

“I don’t know why you’re crying, he’s taking it easy on you,” you shrug as you make your way over to the weapons table. “No, I’ve never seen him kill anyone, but I’ve also known him for a while now. He’s good at his job for a reason.” “Please, I’m sorry-” “No no, I talk and you listen,” you interrupt with a kind smile as you pick up Lloyd’s butterfly knife. “It’s not as sharp as it usually. He probably used it for work and never got the chance to sharpen it. Ya know, Lloyd fucks with his toys,” you chuckle. “I’ve been fucked with his guns, he would test out how strong his ropes were by tying me to the bed or tying me up and made sure that no matter how hard he fucked me I couldn’t get out, he liked to cut my underwear off with his knives, he has a bit of a blood kink so every once in a while he would “accidentally” cut me while cutting off my clothes. Lost a lot of cute underwear during our relationship,” you sigh as you shake your head.

“Ms. Diaz said-” “Oh, Tina? She’s dead. Nothing she says holds any weight anymore,” you shrug as you make your way over to the guy. “You were so desperate to make your guy happy, and now look? Tied to a metal chair, freezing your balls off, crying like a bitch, all bloodied up, and your little buddy is dead,” you laugh as you stand in front of him. “Where’s Andrew?” “I don’t know!”

“Lies irritate me,” you scowl before grabbing his hand and stabbing it.

“FUCK!” “Where is Andrew?” “I don’t-” “Lying,” you sing as pull the knife out and start to cut off his fingers.

“I DON’T KNOW!” “Lie, lie, lie,” you tsk as you add more pressure and cut the bone. “Where is he?”

“PLEASE!”

“Oh look, I took off two fingers,” you laugh as you toss them on the table. “I’m nowhere near as skilled as Lloyd is, so you’ll have to forgive me for that. Anyway, wanna keep this up? Or do you wanna tell me-” “I WAS PROMISED-” “Still not the answer I’m looking for,” you shrug as you start cutting his ear. “Now, where is?” “LONDON! HE’S HIDING OUT IN LONDON! KNIGHTSBRIDGE, LONDON! THERE’S SOME HOUSE...IT’S FAMOUS HOME...HE’S THERE!” he wails as you cut through the last of his ear.

“Good boy,” you smile at him before kissing his forehead. “You stay here and someone will be down to see you soon,” you promise him sweetly as place his fingers and ear in a white cloth.

“Please...please...d-don’t kill-” “Don’t kill you? Oh honey, that’s for Lloyd to decide,” you smile as you wrap up the cloth then make your way out.

You’ve never done anything like that in your life, and you never thought that you would, but your patience and discipline have all but dissolved. Your son still hasn’t woken up, your best friend is not only responsible for all of this but intentionally going after your soulmate, and now this asshole sends someone else to attack all of you?

The good girl is on leave right now.

“Lloyd, we’re at least able to narrow it down to two different-” “I want an exact location!” Lloyd shouts at Denny, as you enter the kitchen. “He sent someone-”

“He’s in London,” you state flatly as you drop the cloth containing the fingers and ear on the table on the table. “Knightsbridge, London. He said it’s a famous home, so I have a good guess that it’s that place where they hosted Picasso.”

Both of them just look at you with pure shock and amazement in their eyes.

“Someone tried to kill my son. I want him gone. If you have more questions, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to answer...if he’s still alive. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know how these things work, but he was still begging when I left-” “You did this?” Lloyd asks, trying to hide how turned on he is.

“That I did.” “Come with me, lets talk to him together since you’re clearly more persuasive than I am. Denny,” he smirks as he turns his attention to his bewildered best friend, “give me about 20...30 minutes to have an exact location.” “Lloyd-” “It looks like I’m not the one calling the shots anymore,” he laughs as he gets up. “Lead the way,” he smiles at you.

He holds your hand as you lead him back down the steps, and for the entire short trip, you feel his eyes on you intensely. You know that he never thought you’d be capable of doing something, but he doesn’t hate the fact that he now knows that you are. If anything, it just makes him feel closer to you.

“You did this, Hummingbird?” Lloyd asks softly once you two are back in the room, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. “You did so good,” he praises against your neck before kissing it.

Feeling him hard against your the back of thigh only makes you even more desperate for him.

“He doesn’t want you to kill him, daddy,” you moan as he teases kisses up and down your neck.

“He doesn’t want me to...that’s cute,” he laughs as he pulls out his pistol. “You’re gonna tell my Hummingbird whatever the fuck she wants to know.”

‘My Hummingbird’. God, you love the sound of that.

“I told her-”

“You didn’t give her an exact address,” he tuts as he shoots him in the leg.

In no time at all, Lloyd had more than all the information he needs, all the while teasing the shell of your ear with the tip his tongue.

“What do you think, Hummingbird?” he asks as he unbuttons your jeans with one hand, while the other is still pointing the gun at the blubbering mess, “should I let him live?” “N-no daddy,” you moan as he slides his hands down your panties, his fingers quickly finding their mark and starting to tease you.

“P-please,” the man blubbers.

“Sorry,” Lloyd smirks against your neck, “you heard my Hummingbird.”

It’s embarrassing how hard you came when he pulled the trigger on his pistol.

“We have to stop,” you whimper as Lloyd continues to massage your clit with two fingers.

“Do we?” he husks before biting your earlobe. “I think we should keep it up.”

“Fuck!”

“You want me to beg? I can get on my knees right now-” “Lloyd-Jesus Christ you two!” Denny scowls and you smile as you feel the rumble in Lloyd’s chest as he chuckles. “You need to get upstairs so we can plan how you wanna go about this.”

“Isn’t that why they call you the Chief?”

“This is your revenge, jackass,” Denny snaps back.

“Go,” you laugh softly, “I need to check on Travis anyway. I’ve been away far too long.”

“We can go together and then-” “Lloyd,” you laugh, hating how good and loved hes making you feel.

“I’ll come up after, okay?”

“Sounds good-shit!” you moan as he removes his fingers.

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight,” he chuckles before licking his fingers as he walks away.

Are you even sure this is your life anymore?

You scoff and shake your head as you look at the dead idiot in the chair, before you finally make your way out of what you can only call Hell. You’re still trying to wrap your head around what the hell has taken place over the last 2 days? 3 days?

When is the last time you ate? When’s the last time Lloyd ate?

As you make your way into the kitchen, you ignore everything that’s going on and start searching for menus, when you realize the time.

12am.

Looks like you’re cooking.

“You don’t have to cook,” Lloyd sighs as you start taking out pots and pans.

“We need to eat. I’m sure everyone needs to eat,” you chuckle humorlessly. “Though, I don’t know how the hell I’m going to feed everyone. How do you all feel about sandwiches?”

“Hummingbird, I’ll send for food and have it brought up to you-” “It’s 12am, Lloyd.”

“What does that mean to me? Get upstairs and I’ll bring up some food to you when it gets here.” “You don’t know what I want.”

“I always know what you want,” he smirks.

“Lloyd-” “Jesus, I’ll feed you too, Denny. Calm down,” he scowls.

You laugh as you start to make your way out of the kitchen, but Lloyd grabs your wrist as you walk by and it tugs at your heart. You wrap an arm around him and kiss the top of his head before letting go and making your way into the living area and starting on your way up the stairs.

It’s not lost on you that you can’t just get back with Lloyd like nothings happened, but that doesn’t change the fact that you want to. You want to so bad that it’s actually starting to hurt. Yes, the last few days have been hell, but hes been by your side for all of it. Hes been by your side, hes been amazing, and all of it has made you realize why you fell in love with him in the first damn place.

He’s always going to be your Huckleberry.

“Am I allowed to lay on the bed with him?” you ask the doctor as you lean against the door frame of Travis’ room.

“Just be gentle,” she warns softly.

You ease into bed with him and grab the remote off the nightstand.

“I promised you ‘Tombstone’ and that’s what we’re gonna watch,” you tell him softly as you kiss the top of his head.

You settle in next to him and lay your head on his shoulder as you find ‘Tombstone’ on some streaming service, and start playing it. “Has there been any change?” you ask the doctor.

“Everything is the same,” she smiles softly.

Of course it is.

You give her a small smile and nod before focusing your attention back on the screen. As you sit and watch, a small smile comes to your first as you remember the first time you watched it.

“We’ve been dating for four months and you still haven’t watched it,” Lloyd grumbled as you two laid in his bed.

“Why do you want me to watch it so bad?” you laughed.

“Because it’s my favorite movie!”

“Lloyd, will it really make you that happy if I watch it?”

“I’ve been asking every damn day for the last two months, so yes, it will make me that happy, Hummingbird.” “Jesus, alright. Put the damn thing in,” you laughed as Lloyd practically jumped out of the bed.

He talked through the whole damn movie.

“So, I’m guessing your Doc Holliday in all this?”

“Of course I am! He’s the most badass out of all of ‘em!”

“A fair point,” you laughed as you got up and started to get dressed.

“Where you going?”

“Back to my dorm, Huckleberry.” “Stay the night.”

“I have spent the last three nights here and I can tell that Tina wants to hangout.”

“Who gives a fuck about Tina?”

“Clearly I do since she’s my best friend.” “Go to breakfast with her tomorrow or something.” “You can’t always get your way, Lloyd.” “Why not?”

“Now now, don’t get all soft on me.”

“I would fall in love with someone who has a mind of her own,” he muttered before he could stop himself.

That made you freeze.

“Wh...what? What did you say?” you asked, slowly turning around to see that Lloyd was sitting straight up.

“Nothing.” “Yes you did.” “It doesn’t matter, because it’s not a big deal.”

“Then why don’t you want to say it again?”

“Hummingbird-” “Did you mean it?” “Yes.” “Then say it again.”

He was quiet and his breathing got heavy before he finally repeated, “I love you.”

You were back on his bed and straddling him instantly. You cupped his face and kissed him passionately, while Lloyd wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close.

“Say it again,” you breathed once you two broke apart.

“I love you.”

“Are you just saying it because you want me to stay over?”

“Y/N, I have never said that to anyone. Maybe my parents on their birthdays. I have now told you a total of three times and we both know that they’re a million ways for me to get you to stay without admitting how I actually feel. I love you.”

“I love you, Lloyd,” you smiled before you took off your shirt.

“I thought you were gonna hangout with Tina tonight,” he smirked as flipped you over on your back.

“I’ll take her to breakfast.”

In all honesty, you stopped watching the damn movie because it became too painful. Remembering that moment and how perfect everything was, him telling you that he loved you for the first time...it was too much. For the longest time, you thought that Lloyd showed Travis the movie out of spite, because it’s not like he isn’t that much of an asshole, but then you really thought about it. The amount of people who know anything personal about Lloyd are three: Travis, you, and Denny, and you’re honestly not even sure if Denny knows that ‘Tombstone’ is his favorite movie because that would mean that someone besides you would know that Doc Holliday is his hero.

It would also mean that he’d have to admit that his whole ‘tough guy’ persona isn’t his own...well, the being a psycho part is 100% him.

“Your Dad holds his gun just like that,” you laugh softly to Travis, as you watch Doc Holliday, walk away from the barber who was trimming up his mustache.

“Don’t reveal my secrets to him,” Lloyd mutters as he enters the room, two containers in hand. “Besides, I don’t hold my gun behind my back, I hold it in front of me.”

“Yeah, but you still hold it the same way, and don’t reveal your secrets? Says the man who wanted to name him Doc, like that wouldn’t have been a dead give away,” you smirk.

“Lloyd,” the doctor smiles at him.

Of course hes fucked her.

“Has there been any change?” he asks you, completely ignoring the woman in the chair.

“He squeezed my hand a little, but he hasn’t opened his eyes.”

“That’s good, right? It means he’s showing signs of improvement?” he questions, eyes hopeful as he takes a seat next to you.

“It’s a very good sign,” the doctor smiles at him.

Maybe she should go to bed with him tonight.

“Shit! I missed the gun fight!” he scowls as he passes you a container of pasta.

“I can always rewind it, it’s not like you missed it by much,” you laugh as you grab the remote, “what poor soul did you bully into making this?”

“How do you know I didn’t make it?”

“Cause you can’t cook for shit,” you scoff as you rewind back to his favorite scene and he flips you off.

“My Mother made it.” “Then take it back, cause she can’t cook for shit either.” “Shes hired a chef and I’m more than sure it’s because of something my Father said.”

“Don’t tell me Stef is getting sensitive now...Lloyd, did this chef just start making food yesterday? This is terrible!” you cough as you spit it out and press play on the movie.

“She had to make this, cause this tastes awful!” he laughs as he takes your container away from you. “Jesus, I’ll get-”

“We’ll get something in the morning. We’ve gone this long without eating. Another couple hours won’t hurt us,” you shrug.

“Hummingbird-” “We’ll get breakfast, I promise. Lets just finish the movie and go to bed. We both need rest, its been a long day,” you sigh.

“You did good today, Hummingbird,” Lloyd praises as rests his hand on your thigh.

“Thank you, Huckleberry,” you sigh, resting your hand on top of his.

Why can’t you two just work it out?

When the movie comes to an end, you both give Travis a kiss and tell him you’ll see him first thing in the morning, you tell the doctor goodnight and bids you a good night as well before giving Lloyd a suggestive smirk.

This is why you’ve got to stop fooling around with him.

“Burn this,” he tells one of the mercenaries as he passes him the two full containers.

“Goodnight, Lloyd,” you tell him softly as you make your way to the room you were supposed to sleep in last night.

“What do you...goodnight?” “I’m going to bed, it’s been a long day and-”

“Don’t do this to me, Hummingbird. After last night...don’t make me sleep alone.”

“Lloyd.”

“Y/N, I can’t sleep without you in my arms and I know you can’t sleep without me by your side.”

Fuck.

“Lloyd,” you moan as he lays you down on the bed, quickly getting to work on the front of your jeans. “We have to...we’re not...fuck!” you sigh as he easily slides two fingers inside of you. “Feels so...shit! Lloyd!” you squeal when he starts massaging your clit with his thumb.

“You look so fucking good when you’re so desperate, Hummingbird,” he coos as your toes curl.

“Need it...need to fucking cum, please!” you whimper pathetically, clawing at the bed.

“So fucking gorgeous,” he whispers as he curls his fingers inside of you, finding that spot that makes you come alive for him and picking up his pace.

“Fuck!” you sob, coating his fingers with your release.

“Take off that shirt. It’s time to get you cleaned up,” he demands with a low growl, slowly removing his fingers then bringing them up to his lips.

“Lloyd-”

“You’ve been a good girl all day, don’t start acting up now,” he warns in the tone that makes you want to do any and every everything for him.

Why can’t you just stop?

“Fuck! Daddy please!” you beg as he pins you against the shower wall, water already on and at the temperature you love.

“Never dreamed that my good little Hummingbird could be so bad,” he groans as he kisses down your body.

“I’d do anything to...to keep you both s..safe! Oh fuck! You and that tongue! That’s it daddy! Bring your good girl off!” you encourage, gripping his hair tight as your pussy against his face.

One of these days, you’ll be strong enough to tell him no...sure.

“Right there, daddy! Oh fuck!” your cry out, looking down and meeting his intense gaze. “Gonna fuckin...YES!” you scream, trying to stay upright as your orgasm washes over you and your legs almost give out.

“You want it?” Lloyd smirks after he cleans up between your legs, licking up your body at a tortuously slow pace.

“You know I do!”

“Tell me what I need to hear,” he demands with a soft husk once he’s by the shell of your ear.

“I love you! I will always love you!”

Before you have a chance to prepare yourself, he’s hoisting you up and forcing your legs around his waist, before thrusting himself inside of you.

“Oh God!”

“You were gonna make me sleep without you? Make me go without this perfect little honeypot? I shouldn’t let you cum at all!,” he growls as he wraps a hand around your throat and grips it tight.

“Fuck, please! Aht! That’s...please!” you beg desperately, grinding your hips against his as you claw at his back.

“But you did so good today, my little Hummingbird,” he praises, and you clench around him, as his movements start to pick up. “Saw the video, heard you get the information...God, I want to bend you over and fuck you right in front of that poor fuck when we went back into that room.” “Daddy!” “Oh, someone’s close,” he chuckles darkly, “you don’t fucking cum until I tell you to, understand?” “Shit!” “Do you understand me?” he questions again, slapping you hard.

God, it’s been so long.

“Fuck, yes daddy! Anything you say! Anything you want!”

“Good girl, I was beginning to think you forgot how this works,” he taunts, as your toes curl in a weak attempt to fight off your release.

“Feels so good!” “Yeah? You love when daddy’s fat cock is deep inside you? Filling this tight little cunt?”

“Feels fucking amazing! You’re so good to me!”

“You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine and you’ll always be mine, understand me?” he whispers against your neck before biting and sucking on the hollow of it.

“Lloyd,” you whimper as you lull your head back against the shower wall.

You have no fight left in you to tell him ‘no’ anymore. Doing it the first time was hard enough, but now? After everything that’s happened, walking away is beginning to feel impossible again. Yeah, you’re well aware that he would’ve acted like this if you’d never left in the first place, but it was all too much. It’s not like it isn’t too much now, but seeing just how seriously he takes you and Travis’ safety...it’s been emotional last few days, and Lloyd has truly been the only reason you’ve been able to stay anchored.

“I can’t be without you, Hummingbird. I can’t...I need you, baby!” “Fuck, I need you...too! Need you so much! Please...too much!” “Squeezin me so fucking tight! Christ, let go for me!” “LLOYD!” you scream out, gripping him tight as you squirt, slowly fading out of consciousness.

“Could stay buried deep inside this pussy forever,” Lloyd growls as he fills you to the brim.

Lloyd rode out both your highs, whispering sweet nothing against your chest, while caressing your thighs.

“I love you, Hummingbird,” he tells you softly as he sets you down.

“I love you, Huckleberry,” you mumble.

“You okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumble lazily, regaining your balance as he passes you a wash cloth.

“Want me to wash you?”

“I can handle it, just give me a minute,” you giggle softly, taking it from him.

Taking a shower together was never good for you two, because even after you two would have sex, Lloyd wouldn’t keep his lips and hands off of you.

This time is no different.

Lloyd gets on his knees for you at least two more times before he finally lets you clean yourself up, but he still won’t stop pressing you against the wall and kissing you all over, and don’t protest because it’s the happiest and most relaxed you’ve been all day.

In some ways, it feels as if you two are back in college.

“What happened to start all of this?” you ask when you two finally get out of the shower.

“Hummingbird-” “Lloyd, tell me what happened. I know you’re tired, but I am too. I deserve to know why.”

“I know you do,” he sighs as he wraps a towel around you. “Andrew pissed me off-” “Everyone pisses you off, Lloyd.”

“This...he made a comment about you. It was a couple of months after we had that huge argument about me bailing on Travis, which I wasn’t,” he scowls and you roll your eyes, “and you stormed out. I never liked Andrew to begin with, but Denny needed me to go on this op with him, because he likes to think he can do whatever, whenever-” “So, he thinks he’s you?”

“I’m actually good at what I do, Hummingbird,” he smirks. “Anyway, we’d just finished up, and I was gonna go out for drinks and write up my report like I always do, and he wanted to come along. He wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it, and I knew Denny would be up my ass if I killed him, so I told him he can come as long as he shuts the fuck up,” he finishes with a growl.

“Then what?” “Some pricks can’t hold their fucking drinks. After only two drinks, he’s going on about he’d bend you over and show you who’s boss, how he’d be able to keep a woman like you in line, he’d make sure to keep you quiet with his dick in your mouth...the more he drank, the more he wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

“Oh fuck,” you sigh.

“Sure, I could’ve slit the walking void’s throat right then and there, but where’s the fun in that for me? So, after he passed out, I left him at the bar and set some...traps.”

“Lloyd-”

“Should’ve kept his fucking mouth shut. Anyway, when he woke up, he was locked up at headquarters, and was...punished for his “crimes”. To pour even more salt on the wound, I recorded myself fucking his fiancée and sent it from her phone, so when he finally got out it was the first thing he saw when he checked his phone.”

“LLOYD!”

“Should’ve kept his fucking mouth shut,” he repeats with a shrug. “Anyway, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together after that. He quit, Tina was around me and my office out of nowhere, then this shit happened. He’s not a slick as he thinks he is. His little bitch boys weren’t as smart as they thought they were. I fucked up because I didn’t think that anyone would be stupid enough to go after you and Travis, but I’m more than sure Andrew promised them something if they didn’t fuck up.”

“Why do you always have to add insult to injury? Why couldn’t you-”

“You’re mine, Hummingbird. Married or not, you are mine, just like I’m yours. He doesn’t get to talk about you like you’re some...I couldn’t just leave it alone. You know me well enough and long enough to know that was never an option.”

Why is it that simple words, from him, make your brain go stupid? Why is your heart always louder than your brain when it comes to Lloyd fucking Hansen?

He pulls you close and kisses you passionately and, for just a moment, everything feels as it should. Then, you remember the doctor in the other room and push him off. Yeah, you two already sex, but it doesn’t change the fact that, that issue still hasn’t been resolved.

You push him off of you and roll your eyes before storming out of the bathroom. The heavy sigh that leaves his mouth breaks your heart, but he’s the one who decided to bring her here.

“You’re mad at me,” Lloyd sighs once you two are finally in bed.

“I’m not mad-” “You’re not happy with me, and I know it’s not because of Andrew.” “At best, I’m annoyed,” you begrudgingly confess, “and don’t pretend you don’t know why.”

“I didn’t hire her to hurt you,” he starts. “Before I knew that you threatened everyone to keep working on me, she was one of the Doctors credited with saving my life. If she could save my ass with how fucked up I was, she should work on Travis if something happens. If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve been a dick about it.” “I know, but it’s painfully obvious that you fucked her-”

“I only did it because I thought you hadn’t come to see me and I was pissed. She made advances towards me, I had no reason to say no, so I fucked her. It was just once and it didn’t mean anything, she doesn’t mean anything. I never returned any of her texts or phone calls.”

“It’s not like I have any right to be annoyed-”

“Don’t start that.” “Lloyd, don’t. This doesn’t change the fact-” “What if we compromise?”

“Compromise?” you ask, sitting up and facing him.

Since when is that word apart of his vocabulary?

“I’m not saying that I’m going to quit, BUT-” he quickly interjects when he catches your roll your eyes, “I spoke to Denny about it, and I can...I can do desk work. More suit and tie shit and no more field work,” he mutters.

“Lloyd-” “You’ve gotta meet me halfway, Hummingbird. I’m trying.”

“Too much has happened-” “It’s nothing that can’t be fixed or worked on! We’re both guilty, and I’m very obviously the more guilty party in all of this, but you pushed me away-” “Because I wanted you to put Travis and I first!”

“What do you think I’m doing now?!” “Not quitting!”

“Hummingbird, you love me just as much now as you did then, if not more. You never take that necklace off and instead of throwing your engagement ring out, or selling it, you added it to the chain. You know that my love for you has never stopped or changed, we both...we can fix this. I’m still the same man you fell in love with, made a little bit better because I had you in my life, and you’re just as perfect as you’ve always been. I know I’ve hurt you and I was a petty piece of shit, and I’m sorry, but it’s not gonna happen again. I want to do right by you and Travis and I can, but you have to have to meet me halfway. You’ve known me long enough to know that this is the closest I’m ever gonna get to a fucking desk job.”

“Why can’t you be a weapons specialist or run your own weapons store? Why do you have to-” “Because it makes me happy, and you know how many few things actually do that. Yes, you and Travis make me happier than I ever thought I could be, but I’ve found my calling with my job and for as much as you hate it, I’m fucking good at it.”

“Lloyd-”

“Meet me halfway, Hummingbird. Please,” he begs softly.

This would be so much easier if you didn’t love him so much.

“I can’t just...I have to think about this, Lloyd. I mean really think about it,” you tell him softly.

“Hummingbird-”

“I’m not saying ‘no’, Lloyd. I’m saying I need to think about it. Yeah, we’re madly in love with each other, and we always will be, but it’s not like this relationship has always been healthy to begin with. I want to be with you, I know Travis wants us to be together, but I can’t just say yes to make you happy. I’ve done more than my fair share to make you happy, and I need to truly think about this. If we’re going to raise Travis together, we can’t be together like we were before. It won’t work.”

“You promise to truly think about it?”

“I do,” you smile at him.

Almost instantly, Lloyd is pulling you down and kissing you passionately.

“Lloyd, we need rest,” you giggle with a moan as he kisses down your body.

“We have enough time and energy for one more round, Hummingbird,” he mumbles against your skin before disappearing under the covers.

As Lloyd takes his time bringing you off with his tongue and fingers, you lay there (lost in pure euphoria) and wonder if you two really should give it a try? Is all of this, you and him, really worth trying?

One thing is for sure: you’re not against the idea of it.

“Lloyd, we don’t have time for trips! We finals coming up and-”

“You and I both know you’re gonna pass, so don’t give me some bullshit excuse about how you need to study, Hummingbird.”

“I wasn’t gonna say that I need to study, you need to study!”

“I’ll be fine-”

“Lloyd, we’ve been driving for 4 hours-”

“Which means we’re almost there! Will you stop worrying?”

“Where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Lloyd-”

“You trust me?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Then just be happy,” he chuckled softly as he placed his hand on your upper thigh.

“Lloyd-”

“You wore my favorite dress.”

“I thought we were going to breakfast!”

“This early?”

“You never know with you. I showed up for a sunrise breakfast that I thought was a early morning run with you once, and I’ll never make that mistake again!” “Yeah, but your ass looked great in those sweats,” he smirked and you playfully punched him in the arm. “Hummingbird?”

“Hmm?”

“Remember a couple of months ago when I kidnapped you from the library and we fucked under the stars?” “Yeah,” you scoffed.

“You remember what I said?”

“About our future?”

“Yeah.”

“No matter what happens, you’ll always look out for your little Hummingbird and you’ll always love me. There’s never going to be anyone or anything more important to you, and that you’ll take care of me for as long as eternity allows.”

“Did you believe me?”

“I always believe you, Lloyd.” “I love you, Hummingbird.”

“I love you too, Huckleberry.”

The rest of the trip didn’t take long, but you didn’t stop showering him with questions. However, by the time you two reached the destination, you couldn’t help but laugh at where he took you two to.

“Huckleberry Farms?!” you laughed.

“I figured it would be a good break for you, Hummingbird,” he smirked.

“But you-”

“You come first. You need a break, so I’m giving you one.”

There was no sense in arguing with him when he was like that. When Lloyd wanted to do something for you, he was dead set on doing it, no matter what. So, you just decided to let yourself enjoy the day and make the most of whatever he had to offer. Lloyd loved to spoil you, especially when he felt you were stressed out or too high strung.

However, it really was the best day.

He rented out the farm, had all your favorite breakfast foods made fresh, indulged in your silly desire to pick berries, gave you piggyback rides whenever you wanted them, and made sure to have whatever you were too shy to ask for packed up and sent back to your dorm.

It was like something out of a fairy-tale.

“Lloyd, we have to get back,” you giggled as placed kisses up and down your neck, as you two walked down one of the fields.

“You don’t want anymore berries?” “Lloyd, I’m going to turn into a berry if you keep feeding them to me,” you laughed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the CIA thing. I promise to never lie or hold anything back from you again.”

“I’m still not happy about it,” you muttered as you looked up and stuck your tongue out at him.

“But you’re still here,” he laughed.

“Because I still love you. Even if you are the most insufferable asshole in the world.” “One of my many charms,” he chuckled, “how strong do you think your love is for me?”

“Despite your need to be a complete asshole at times, I think my love is strong enough to handle it. I think the love I have for you is strong enough to survive anything in this life and the next. It’s strong enough to love you just as much on your good days as well as your bad days.”

“You really think so? Flaws and all?”

“Flaws and all, Hansen. There’s only you for me,” you smiled at him as he came to a standstill.

“That’s good, cause it makes my next question a lot easier to ask,” he said as he got down on one knee.

“Oh my God! Lloyd-”

“I know that I’m not the easiest one to love or get along with, and I know that I don’t make this easy, but I love you, Y/N. I think I’ve always been in love with you, I was just too arrogant and cocky to admit it before, but you were patient. You’re nicer than I deserved, more understanding than anyone I’ve ever met, extremely loyal, you’re fucking gorgeous as hell, you’re annoyingly smart, you have an extremely dark sense of humor, you...I can go on forever about why you’re so fucking perfect,” he chuckled and you giggled as you wiped away your tears. “I know I don’t make any of this easy, but I swear that I try my fucking hardest for you, and I will always try my hardest for you. So,” he started as he pulled the black velvet box out of his pocket, “will you marry me?”

He burst out laughing when you knocked him over with the hug you tackled him with. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you passionately and you unintentionally ground yourself against him when you went to sit up.

“Ya know, we do have the farm to ourselves,” he smirked as burst out laughing.

“Lloyd!”

“Give that finger,” he laughed as he took your left hand and placed the engagement ring on your finger. “I love you, Hummingbird. Until the end of time.”

As you toy with your engagement ring, that sits on the chain right next to your hummingbird, your other hand brings your cigarette up to your lips and you take a drag from it. You can’t stop thinking about that day. It was the best day of your life, at the time, but it also feels like a lifetime ago. No, maybe you and Lloyd aren’t ever supposed to get back to that place, but how do you two get to a place that’s better? Especially, after everything that’s happened between the two of you.

“I thought you quit those damn things,” your Mother sighs as she makes her way out onto the back deck.

“Ya know, for as much as you hate Lloyd, you sure do sound like him a lot,” you mutter.

“I don’t hate him-” “You don’t like him.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Stay out of it, Mama.”

“I’m guessing by that mark on your neck that you two are back together?” she questions as she takes a seat next to you.

“We’re gonna try and see if we can work things out.”

“After all of this?” “Please-”

“Do you see how you’re living?! All that you’re going through?!”

“Mom-” “And you were clearly okay with not telling your Father and I everything from the beginning-” “I told you he works for the CIA!”

“You never told us that your life would be at risk! And now look! My grandson is upstairs fighting for his life and guards are watching the house! Do you know how that makes me feel?!”

Whatever patience you’re holding on to has just left the building.

“How you...how you feel?! He’s my son! I held him in my fucking arms while he bled out! I was the one trying to be strong while I had a dead babysitter in the kitchen, who’s only dead because she’d been mistaken for me, while I tried to calm my son down! I was alone! How do you feel?! How the fuck do you think I feel?! I already went through this shit with Lloyd, and now I have to go through it again with our son!? I’m so fucking tired of everyone preaching to me like they know the hell I’ve gone through! You don’t know a damn thing, so stay out of it!” you finish in a huff.

Your Mother is quiet before saying, “because I was out of line, that is the only time you will ever speak to me like that. Do you understand me?”

“I swear to Christ-”

“Y/N-”

“No, you don’t get to come here, criticize me or Lloyd, and then tell me I can’t speak to you in the manner in which you deserve! You don’t know all the hell that either of us have been through, or how hard Lloyd has been working to find the man responsible! So yes, when you come over and start talking shit, I will talk to you in the way which you deserve!”

“I’m just trying to protect you-” “I DON’T NEED IT RIGHT NOW!” you shout at her. “I don’t need anyone else telling me how bad Lloyd is for me or how much better I deserve!”

After everything with Tina, the last thing you need is another fucking lecture.

“I’m not trying to upset you-”

“He’s waking up!” Lloyd says as he makes his way outside. “He started stirring in his sleep...he’s waking up,” he smiles with tears in his eyes.

You can’t even think. You just make your way inside and push past everyone in your way, before racing up the steps and almost bursting into Travis’ room.

“Mom?” he calls softly.

“Mommy’s here, baby,” you sob with a giant smile on your face as you make your way into the room.

“Are...are you okay? What happened?”

“You’re fine, so I’m fine. Don’t worry about what happened,” you sniff as you make your way over to his bedside, “all that matters is your safe now and everything is going to be okay,” you smile as you cup his face, kissing his forehead. “Your Dad is here and so am I, and we promise to keep you safe.”

“My body hurts,” he croaks, his voice still hoarse.

“We’re gonna get you back to yourself in no time. We have football practice starting soon,” Lloyd smiles, and you can see the tears welling in his eyes.

“Are you hungry? Is there anything you want? What can he have?” you ask the doctor, finally looking up to see that there’s a new doctor.

While the doctor is going over his dietary restrictions, for the time being, your Mother runs downstairs and you know she’s making him something to eat.

“When can he start physical therapy?” Lloyd asks as he takes a seat at the edge of the bed.

“We’ll see how he feels in a few days and that’ll help us figure out the best time to get started.” “You’re gonna stay, right Dad?” Travis asks weakly, but hopeful.

“I’m not going anywhere. Your Mom and I are gonna be right here in this house every step of the way,” he smiles at him, but you can see the pain in his eyes.

The fact that Travis would have to question whether or not he would stay with him during a time like this breaks his heart, and he knows that he’s going to have to start making changes and making them soon.

Soon enough, your Mother comes back with a tray full of food that Travis can only some of, and Lloyd is texting Denny to tell him that Travis is awake, only for Denny to come running in a few moments later with good news of his own.

“Hey Lloyd Jr.,” Denny smiles towards Travis, a few of his own happy tears falling. “The sooner you get better, the sooner we can get you back to the shooting range.”

“The shooting...?! LLOYD!” you shout as Travis starts laughing softly.

“I’m joking,” Denny laughs and you flip him off. “I do need to speak to the both of you though.”

“Mom-” “We’ll both be right outside the door, baby. I promise,” you smile at him before ushering both Lloyd and Denny out into the hallway. “Mom, listen to the doctor and stop trying to feed him,” you warn before closing the door behind you.

“He’s in the basement,” Denny tells the both you before you even have a chance to ask what’s going on.

“Is that fuck alive?” Lloyd practically growls and you say a silent prayer, BEGGING God that your Mother stays in Travis’ room.

Shes never seen him unhinged and the last thing you need is for this to be the first time she sees it.

“He’s alive. A bit beat up, the asshole put up a fight, but he’s alive. How do you wanna handle it?”

“Hummingbird, you go back in there with Travis and I’ll-”

“I want to go.”

“You don’t have to deal with this, Hummingbird. This is my mess. I did this.”

“That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me.”

Lloyd nods with a smirk before opening the door open a little and telling Travis, “we have to go down to the basement for a little bit, okay? Listen to your grandmother.” “You said you’d stay-”

“We’re all gonna stay in the house, we just need to have a talk in the basement. Behave yourself and we’ll watch whatever movie you want when we come back up, okay?” Lloyd tells him in a stern voice.

Daddy indeed.

As the three of you start on your way down the stairs and to the cellar, you’re nothing but amazed by how quickly both of their demeanor’s change. It’s not lost on you that Lloyd is extremely good at what he does, God knows he has more than enough crazy to do it, but this is the first time you’ve seen it in real time. He’s not coming home and telling you about a shitty mission, or fucking you until you can’t talk to get over a mission: you’re actually watching him work. You don’t mind watching him work, because the people he’s killing now...well, they deserve it.

Maybe that’s how you’ve been able to stomach his job for all these years.

You constantly told yourself that he was doing what he did, because whoever he was hurting deserved it. You’re not some naive idiot that thinks that government is pure and true in all of its activities, and you’re not dumb enough to think Lloyd is some saint at heart, but you also know him well enough that he’s loyal. Yeah, he cheated on you, but he also didn’t lie to you about it. He would do anything Denny asks and Denny wouldn’t ask unless he really needed it.

If Lloyd is Doc Holliday, Denny is definitely Wyatt Earp.

When you all reach the cellar, Denny and Lloyd are quick to grab guns before continuing down to the end of the hall.

“You sure about this, Hummingbird?” Lloyd asks, his hand on the doorknob.

“I’m stronger than I look,” you nod towards him.

Lloyd chuckles before opening the door, and once again, his demeanor changes almost instantly.

“Well well, looks like we’ve caught the ugliest fly in our little trap. Hello, Andrew,” Lloyd chuckles with a sinister smile.

Okay, maybe you should have stayed upstairs.

“Brought your little bitch so you could show off?” the man sputters out, spitting out blood all over himself.

“Awh c’mon! Our little game of cat and mouse wasn’t fun for you? I had a blast!” Lloyd smiles while feigning innocence at the same time.

“Should’ve killed you when I had the chance!”

“I’m really loving the fake optimism,” he chuckles, “because you and I both know that’s bullshit. You never had a chance, because you were never good enough,” he almost whispers as he makes his way over to the man that’s tied up to the bloody metal chair. “You weren’t good enough to take that mission on your own, you weren’t good enough to keep your fiancée or satisfy her, and you weren’t good enough to kill me or my family. You’re no daisy at all, you’re a waste of fucking time and your Mother would’ve been better off swallowing you. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you’re just a botched abortion,” Lloyd laughs before back handing the shit out of him.

All Andrew does in response is spit at Lloyd and it makes you laugh, because that’s one of Lloyd’s softer insults.

“If you didn’t want to be friends anymore, that’s all you had to say,” Lloyd sighs before backhanding him again.

“I thought I made that pretty fucking clear when your kid got shot,” Andrew sputtered with a dark laugh.

Maybe you’ve been around Lloyd too long, but that statement alone is all it takes for you to snap. You push past a mercenary, grab Lloyd’s pistol, flip it easily enough and pistol whip the asshole in the chair.

“Ah, I see the draw of you, you’re a feisty little bitch,” he chuckles darkly, sadistic grin coming to his face.

He’s a tough ignorant piece of shit. You’ll give him that.

“You know,” you start as you backup slowly, “I was gonna be nice and let Lloyd just kill you. Not as a courtesy to you, but because I’ve experienced so much shit in the last few days and I’m tired. However, I’ve had a change of heart. I think you I want you to experience just some of the pain I’ve gone through these past few days,” you smile at him before ripping off his pants (which was easy enough because of all of the damn holes in them), then turning to Lloyd. “Where are the cables?”

“Right over there, Hummingbird,” he smirks, nodding towards the wall while not even attempting to hide the fact that he’s turned on by the new side of yourself that you’ve discovered.

“You think I don’t know Lloyd’s torture tactics? I’ve worked with him, you ignorant bitch!” Andrews calls, coughing up blood.

“I’ve never seen a single thing Lloyd does, so this is all from my head,” you giggle as you clamp one of the cables down on his barely covered cock (his boxers have clearly taken a beating also).

“FUCK!”

“Don’t tell me you’re getting sensitive on me! I haven’t even done anything yet,” you pout as you attach the other clamp to the upper part of his inner thigh.

“Stop! Stop, I’m sorry, okay?!” the man pleads desperately.

Either you’re crazier than Lloyd, or this guy really didn’t expect you to be this broken up about him trying to kill the two most important people in your life.

Dumbass.

“You’re sorry? That’s...I’m so happy you’re sorry,” you laugh maniacally as you grab the electric cable box and hook cable cords to it.

“God, she’s such a little Devil, isn’t she?” Lloyd muses with a smile.

“Gun please?” you ask politely as you hold out your hand, and Lloyd is all too happy to give it to you.

“Please-”

“Too late to be a little bitch about it now,” you chuckle softly as you shoot him in the kneecap. “You’ll soon come to find that Lloyd is the least of the problems,” you promise as you shoot the other, popping it like a bloody zit.

You attach the cables to the electric box and turn it up to 60.

“Now, I’ve never done this before,” you smile innocently, “so this is gonna be an experiment for the both of us.”

You press the little black button and a small smile comes to your face as painful and pitiful cries leave Andrew’s mouth.

Alright, you’re starting to understand why Lloyd loves his job so much.

“You tried to kill my son!” you all but growl after you release the button.

“I didn’t tell them-”

“There’s no use in coming up with an excuse now,” you shrug before pressing the button again.

“PLEASE! PL...PLEASE!” he cries out and you hear Lloyd chuckle behind you. “STOP!!”

“Does it hurt?” you ask as you turn up the wattage. “Does it feel terrible? I promise it doesn’t feel nearly as terrible as holding your child in your arms while he’s bleeding out.” “I’M....PLEASE!”

“Just a little bit longer,” you promise, still holding the button down giving Lloyd back his gun.

“Ll-Lloyd! MA...MAKE HER-”

“She’s the one running show,” he laughs not hiding any of the pleasure he finds in all of this.

“Before you die, I just want you to know the ounce of the pain I felt and that I’ve been feeling since all of this shit happened. Burn in hell you piece of shit,” you spit before finally letting go of the button.

“Please-”

“Finish him,” is all you tell Lloyd before dropping the little box.

“Lloyd-” “Goodnight, Dewdrop,” Lloyd smiles.

Once again, you don’t even flinch when you hear the gun go off. You just stand there and look at the lifeless mess in front of you. In that moment, it hits you. You finally understand how Lloyd feels and why he does what he does. No, it’s not perfect or ideal, but it helps a lot with all of the issues and anger that everyone tends to hide away. Of course, your anger was only concerning Travis and Lloyd, but you’re now able to understand how Lloyd’s line speaks to him.

Every bit of anger, understandable or not, was released in the work that he did. The shootings, the torture, the belittling, the self assured attitude...you understand it. Lloyd has always been unhinged, that’s never been lost on anyone, and this job is the only thing that keeps him from going off the rails completely.

No, you don’t want to take that away from him, but you also can’t keep living like this.

“Take him out and get rid of him,” Lloyd demands and it pulls you out of your thoughts. “You and I are gonna have a little talk later,” he whispers seductively before turning his attention to Denny. “Is this finished?”

“It’s done.”

“Good, we’re gonna get back upstairs to our son. He’ll be asking for you soon enough, so whatever work you have to do...”

“I’ll be up soon,” Denny smiles softly before addressing everyone else. “Clean this room out. I don’t want any traces of what happened these past few days. No residue; make what happened disappear. Disobey and there will be consequences.”

How the fuck are they able to fix their emotions so fast? You’re still ready to burn everything down.

Lloyd can sense your anxiety and grabs your hand, leading you out of the room before saying, “tonight, Hummingbird. I’ll take care of you and make all of this better.”

You both spend the rest of the day with Travis, Denny, and both sets of your parents (you try to get them to limit their time but neither are having it). Travis drifts in and out of sleep, which the doctor explains is to be expected. He’s stable and in good condition, but he’s been through a lot of trauma. The doctor also says that he’s gonna have a rough road to recovery. However, overall, things are looking up and you feel confident.

For the first time in a while, you feel like you can breathe again.

“We’re gonna be right across the hall, Honey,” you promise Travis as he grips your hand.

“What if-”

“I’ll never let anything like this happen to you again,” Lloyd promises him.

Usually, Lloyd hates when Travis gets emotionally and starts crying (it’s something you two have argued about in the past), but you’re more than happy to see that he understands that is a fair response to everything that happens. Yes, you know that Lloyd is a more than capable parent, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a dick most of the time.

“Mom?”

“I’ll be right across the hall with your Father, I promise. I’ll check on you before I go to bed.”

“We both will,” Lloyd assures him.

Travis doesn’t say anything, he just nods and you both make your way over to him and kiss him on the forehead.

“We love you so much,” you smile at him, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

“I love you...love you both,” he yawns as he quickly succumbs to sleep.

Both you and Lloyd quickly and quietly make your way out, and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

“He’s okay, Hummingbird. He’s going to be okay,” Lloyd tells you softly, kissing the top of your head as he takes your hand in his. “I want someone outside this door at all times. I don’t give a fuck if you have to take a shit, you don’t leave this spot until someone is here to take your place. Do you understand me?” he instructs one of the mercenaries.

“Yes sir.”

“If you fuck this up, Andrew will have gone through a walk in the park compared to what I’ll do to you.”

The mercenary gulped and Lloyd smiles in satisfaction.

“Good boy.”

You’re all set to go into the room that has been set up for you, but Lloyd’s grip on your hand tightens, and he’s pulling you into his room. It’s not lost on you that you can say no, but once again, you don’t want to.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you breathe, backing up until your back is against the wall.

“Like what?” he asks, kicking the door closed.

“Like I’m your prey.”

“Hummingbird, you’re my entire world,” he coos as he makes his way over to you.

“Lloyd, we can’t keep doing this. We haven’t...don’t,” you moan as he grips your neck and starts to caress it with his tongue.

“If you really want me to stop, I will,” he promises before pressing soft kisses up and down your neck. “If you don’t want me to ever touch you again, I won’t.”

“Lloyd,” you sigh with a moan, running your hands through his hair.

“I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this, but please,” he begs as he gets on his knees, unbuttoning your jeans, “please just think about taking me back.”

“Lloyd-”

“Think about it while I make you feel better,” he pleads before licking your clit.

At the end of the day, there’s nothing you won’t do for Lloyd, and taking him back...well, it can’t be too bad, can it? If there’s a way for you two to work it out, isn’t it worth giving it a shot? You both are still deeply and madly in love with each other, and you both-

“Shit!” you moan as quietly as you can as he curls the two fingers he has inside of you, grinding your pussy against his face a little.

All you’re doing is encouraging to pick up his pace, because Lloyd’s most favorite thing in the world is bringing you off.

“Pl...please,” you beg pathetically, gripping his hair tighter than you mean to, as you grab at nothing.

You force your gaze on him, and see that his gaze on you is both soft and intense. You don’t need him to vocalize that he’s begging for you. He needs you just as much (if not more) as you need him.

“I’m yours,” you whimper softly, “I’m yours !”

He pulls on your clit with his lips and that’s all it takes to send you over the edge. He takes his time cleaning you up, never breaking the gaze, before starting to kiss his way slowly up your body. The touch of his fingers are teasingly soft against your skin, and it makes you ache for him even more. The ghost of his lips on your collar bone make you whine in protest, and you hear him chuckle softly as he pulls on your black tank top, pulling just enough to expose your tits as he maneuvers the both of you to the bed.

“Baby!”

“Still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on! Never gonna be without you again, Hummingbird,” he husk, getting you on the bed and on your back, before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking on it like he hasn’t had you time and time again over the last few days.

“I need you! Please!”

“Gotta keep quiet, Hummingbird,” he chuckles after releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, while you undo his pants. “So fucking desperate!” “I need you inside me, baby! I always fucking need you!” you confess with a sob.

“I love you so fucking much,” he groans as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“Always such a warm fucking welcome, Hummingbird!”

“I want you...want you to show me...how much you love me,” you whimper, grinding your hips against his.

“I’ll take all night just to make sure you get the point,” he promises before pinning your hands above your head, “so, hang on tight.”

You both do your best to keep quiet, but it’s hard not scream out in pleasure every time Lloyd brings you off. It feels like the first time you two made love all over again. No, not the drunken chaos that was you two hooking up at the frat party, but the time after that.

“Lloyd,” you moan as he grips your hip tight, before he caresses then hooks it over his waist.

“I could listen to my name leave your mouth all fucking day,” he grunts as he fucks into you harder and faster. “I love you so fucking much! God, the greediest little fucking cunt!”

“I never...never wanna be without you again,” you confess softly as as your orgasm builds. “So...so full! Lloyd!”

“Do you need it, Hummingbird? Do you need it as bad as I do?”

“Fuck...yes! Yes please!” you sob as you dig your nails into his back, the feel of his breath on your neck pushing you even closer to your release. “Feels so good...having you...having you like this! All mine!”

“Forever!”

“Shit!” you cry out softly as as you squirt your release all on his cock and the bed.

“Such a good girl,” he husks as he shoots his load into you, coating your walls with his release.

There’s no use in fighting it anymore. There’s no use in telling him no.

“Lloyd,” you breathe as you come down from your high, trying to silence all the voices in your head telling you not to say what you’ve been thinking all day. “I’m not...I don’t know if we can ever be together again-”

“Hummingbird-”

“I’m not gonna lie to you and tell you something you want to hear just because we’ve had amazing sex these last few days. However,” you quickly continue before he has a chance to interject, “I’m not against trying.”

“Wait...what?”

“I love you and you love me. It’s not perfect, it’s messy, and there’s a lot to work on, but it’s worth working on. We’re worth working on.”

“Hummingbird, don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I’m not promising you anything other than me trying. We’ll do our best and see how it works out. I want to make this work, Lloyd. I miss you and...I miss us. I wanna try again,” you confess reluctantly.

“Say it again,” he demands as he starts to move within you.

“I wanna try again,” you giggle with a moan, wrapping your arms around him again.

“Say it again,” he begs desperately.

“I wanna try again!”

“And to think, I was gonna give you the option of sleeping in the other room tonight,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.

You and Lloyd keep each other up for hours, repeatedly telling one another how much you love each other and how you’re both determined to make it work. When you both finally bow out, you letting Lloyd hold you close because it’s the only way you’ll feel like you’re home, you think about all you’ve told him in the last few days.

No, it’s not exactly what he wants to hear, but it’s honest and that’s what he wants more than anything. You’re not giving him false hope, and you’re also not giving him no hope.

You’re giving him just enough to go on.

As you rest your head on his chest, feeling safe and loved in his tight hold on you, you fall asleep praying that things can finally go how you’ve always wanted them to.

Hoping and praying that you and Lloyd have finally gone through enough shit to finally get it right.

1 Year Later

“Mom! Dad! Keep up!” Travis calls as he runs towards Cinderella’s castle.

“Why the fuck did we bring him to Disney?” Lloyd growls under his breath as giggle quietly.

“Because he almost died and now he gets everything he wants. Plus, it’s his birthday,” you smile at Lloyd before turning your attention towards your son, “we’re right behind you, sweetie!”

“Where the hell is Uncle Denny?!”

“TRAVIS!” you shout as Lloyd starts laughing.

You’re truly going to choke him out.

“Where is Uncle Denny?” Travis scowls as he rolls his eyes.

“Right here,” Denny chuckles as he throws out the cup that contained his drink.

Since the shooting, a lot has changed. Lloyd made good on his work and has stuck to desk work, only doing physical work when he absolutely has to, he’s been around for Travis and all of the activities he participates in, Denny comes around more (at Travis’ request), and you and Lloyd purchased a home together.

Much to your parent’s dismay.

“So you’re just gonna take him back? After everything?” your Mother questioned, standing in her kitchen with her arms folded across her chest.

“Please, I don’t need it.”

“You need to listen to your Mom, she’s just looking out for you,” your Father sighed before he took a sip of his whiskey.

“Yeah, I know, okay? If there’s anyone who knows, it’s me. I’m the one that fell in love with him, I’m the one who married him, had his kid, argued with him, cried over him, divorced him...it was all me! I don’t need anyone telling me how terrible he can be!”

“Yet, you’re going to get back with him?!” your Mother shouted.

“We’re not back together, it’s just for convenience. Travis feels safer this way-”

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, babygirl,” your Mother scoffed as she threw her cooking rag down.

“Can we not argue about this? I’m really not in the mood.”

“Y/N-”

“You never liked him anyway!”

“Him? His parents? How can you like him?! Let alone love him?!”

“He’s not as terrible as you think!”

“Didn’t slam you against a wall and choke you when Travis-”

“He didn’t hurt me! He never would!”

“Y/N, you’re not safe with-”

“Travis and I are safer with him than anyone else! Jesus, I’m not a child! I don’t need you both to agree with everything I do, I’m just trying to make you aware-”

“Did you know that they’re still people watching our house? Watching where we go?!”

“He’s just trying to keep you both safe-”

“Safe from what?!”

“FROM WHATEVER ENEMIES HE MAY HAVE!” you yelled, tired of the constant back and forth with them.

“Y/N,” your Father sighed, clearly tired and fed up, “if you’re going to be with Lloyd, we obviously can’t stop you. We’re both very aware of how much you love him, and you’ve always been too stubborn to listen. Just make sure that the life you have with him, is the life you really want. Yes, love is a hell of a drug, but don’t get too addicted to it. Don’t get too addicted to him,” he warned.

It’s not like you don’t know that they both were making valid points. Yes, Lloyd lives a dangerous life, and he’s 100% certifiable, but you also know that he’d do any and everything to keep you and Travis safe. From the moment Lloyd stepped foot into your life, he has become the center of your universe. All you ever wanted was a full and happy life with Lloyd, and unfortunately, that’s never going to change.

“Stop it,” you giggled as Lloyd hoisted you onto the counter, quickly ripping your panties off. “Travis is sleeping!”

“So be quiet,” Lloyd smirked as he got on his knees.

“Lloyd-”

“Do you like the furniture, Hummingbird?”

“Yes daddy,” you moaned as he easily and skillfully pulled down your panties.

“Is there anything you want that we don’t have, baby?” he asked as he massaged your clit with two fingers.

“No...Huckleberry!”

“Is there anything you need?”

“Only you, daddy. Only ever need you,” you sighed as he started to fuck you with his fingers.

Yes, you two had many sweet and romantic, you two never stopped being sluts for one another, but that doesn’t mean the arguments ever calmed down.

“I have done everything you’ve asked of me, Hummingbird!”

“You could just fucking quit!”

“We agreed to desk work-”

“Lloyd, stop it! Stop acting like I’m being unreasonable! It’s not safe-”

“Hummingbird, you promised me you’d try-”

“I have!”

“Its only been 4 months! Its been 4 months and you’ve been complaining since day one!”

“Lloyd-”

“I need you to meet me half way on this!”

“AND I NEED YOU TO QUIT!” you screamed before you stormed out.

“Y/N,” he growled as he followed after you, “stop being a fucking brat!”

“I’m being...then how about I just fucking leave?!”

“Stop it!” he demanded as grabbed your wrist. “You fucking told me you’d try, so you need to at least fucking try!”

“Let me go!”

“I will when you start behaving!”

“Behaving?! I’m not a child!’

“Then stop acting like one!”

“Lloyd, let me go or I swear to God-”

“What will you do, Hummingbird?! Hmm? Cause you’re not fucking leaving me!” he shouted as he slammed you against the wall.

“Stop it!”

“You have to fucking try! Stop threatening to leave every time something doesn’t go your fucking way! Stop trying to bully into doing whatever the fuck you want!” he demanded hotly as he undid your jeans.

“Lloyd-”

“You don’t want to leave, you want to get your way, and daddy’s told you about being a spoiled little brat, hasn’t he?” he husked as he forced your pants down, before he slid his hand down your panties.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you moaned before slapping him.

“Don’t be a little bitch, Humming!” he growled as he started fucking you with his fingers.

“Fuck!”

“You need daddy to be rough with you, is that it? It’s been so long since I’ve treated you like my own little fuck toy, I forget just how much fucking need it!”

“Lloyd-”

“What’s my fucking name?!” he snapped before slapping you with his other hand, while fucking you faster with his fingers.

“Fuck!”

“You better not fucking cum until I say so! Now what’s my fucking name?”

“DADDY!” “Good girl,” he chuckled as he removed his fingers.

“DADDY!”

“I’m gonna spend all night reminding you who is in charge. Lucky for us, Travis is spending the night with his grandparents, so feel free to be as loud as you want, Hummingbird,” he smirked as he shoved his fingers into your mouth. “I think we’ll start with you sucking me off until I’m satisfied and we’ll work our way up from there. Sound good, Hummingbird?”

It’s not surprising that sex is what always brings you both back down to earth, instead of yelling and throwing things, because the whole thing started because of a college hookup. No, it’s not necessarily healthy, but it helps get you two to someplace. Plus, you’ll never turn down sex Lloyd. That’s just as a good as it is bad as far as you’re concerned.

No, it’s not always a walk in the park, but you and Lloyd do your best to make it work. Lloyd holds his tongue when you do or say something he doesn’t like, he tries his best to not take charge of everything, and he finally fucking listens to you. What makes you happy, what makes you anxious, what your fears and doubts are, and what want for the both of you.

In return, you try your best to to control your temper. You don’t yell when he stays late, you don’t go silent when he has to do physical work, you don’t shut him out when he makes you upset, and you don’t resort to petty activity when he pisses you off. You both make an active effort to be better than you two were before because, after staying up for hours and talking about it, you both know that you two won’t last long and it’ll make Travis’ life harder.

It hasn’t been the easiest year, but its been worth it.

“Are you happy?” Lloyd asks as Travis drags Denny off in the direction of the ride.

“Yeah, I think I’m pretty happy,” you chuckle softly. “It’s not always easy, but it’s much better than it was before.”

“Yeah, Hummingbird? You feel like you can tough it out?”

“I don’t see why not,” you smile at up at him. “We’re better than we were before, we’re happier, we’ve grown and learned more about ourselves and each other...I think we needed some time apart to get to a good place.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Lloyd. So much more than you’ll ever know.”

“Yeah? Then you wanna do me a favor?” he smirks as he gets down on one knee.

“Huckleberry...”

“You have been the center of my universe since I first laid eyes on you, and I knew that you were the one for me. It hasn’t been easy, and we’ve both made mistakes along the way, but we’re still standing. Yeah, this relationship isn’t always a daisy, but it’s no thorn either. I have never felt this way about anyone, and I’m sure I never will again. I want inch of you, every day, for the rest of my life. The good and the bad, the ups and downs, the happy and the miserable. So, I’m hoping that you’ll do me the honor of marrying me...again,” he chuckles as you dry your eyes.

“I’ll marry you over and over, again and again, every day for the rest of this life and the next,” you laugh as he places a new hummingbird ring on your finger.

It’s amazing how quickly everything goes from wrong to right in your world.

“HANSEN!” a man yells as he goes to pull out his gun.

Lloyd is quicker, pulling you down and covering you, before pulling his own gun out and firing off two shots.

You would be in love with someone who gets into a fucking gunfight at Disney.

It takes a moment, all the screaming and running only add to your anxiety, but Lloyd’s hold on you is tight enough that you know he’s okay. You look over and see Denny covering Travis, and let out a breath of relief.

“Are you-”

“I want you out of this, Lloyd. If we’re going to be together and be a real family, I want out of this for good.”

The look in Lloyd’s eyes lets you know that he’s truly on the fence about what choice to make. Does he leave the life that makes him and try something to keep you and Travis safe and happy, or does he walk away from you and all hes ever wanted?

For once in his life, you can truly see that Lloyd doesn’t know what the hell to do, and you don’t know if you’re scared for him or yourself.

taglist: @maroonsunrise83, @autumnrose40, @fuckingbye, @companionjones, @emerald-evans , @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @mazda098, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #lloyd hansen #Lloyd hansen fluff #Lloyd Hansen fic #Lloyd Hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen smut #the gray man #the gray man fanfic #the gray man fanfiction #chris evans characters #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen x you #Lloyd Hansen x fem! reader #Lloyd Hansen x y/n #Lloyd Hansen

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bless-my-demons · 7 months

Text

Redamancy: Chapter Nineteen

Warnings: Cuss words and a weeeee bit of angst, no Jasper tonight - but I promise I’ll make it up to y’all!

Notes: Tomorrow afternoon I’ll try to sort out the bugs with my taglist, tonight I just want to get this posted for y’all to enjoy because I had a stupid long day and Tumblr is wanting to test me for some reason.

Word Count: 2058

Series Masterlist

• January 27, 2006 • Forks HS, WA•

Reader

Bella was noticeably absent from school yesterday and there’s a rumor floating around that she had made a trip to the ER Sunday afternoon. I had texted her yesterday to check on her as soon as I heard the whispers, but I received nothing but radio silence on her end.

I was in the middle of typing her another message as I headed in the direction of my final class of the day when a hand at my shoulder stopped me.

Snapping my head up, my eyes were immediately drawn to the neat row of stitches in Bella’s hairline.

“Holy shit, what-?” I gape, worry for my best friend taking hold of me.

“I um, lost control of one of the dirt bikes, hit a rock and it got me pretty good.” She sheepishly glanced at the floor while explaining herself quietly.

“I heard yesterday you had a trip to the ER on Sunday, I was worried sick about you!” My free hand gripping one of her biceps as I lightly berated her for not texting me back.

Her eyes met mine and something in them shifted, like she didn’t expect me to be so invested in her wellbeing.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” I suggest and tug her towards the exit to the student parking lot, “We’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Aren’t you girls supposed to be in school?” Cora, the sweet hearted waitress at Carver’s Cafe, teases us as she sets down our shakes in front of us on the bar.

“It’s just one of those days.” I give her a half smile, stabbing my milkshake with a straw.

She nods understandingly, glancing at Bella’s injured forehead before moving on to other customers.

“Mike invited me to the movies.” She blurts as she scoops off the whipped cream into a discarded dish between us, neither one of us liking the topping.

A gasp slips out before I could reign in my surprise and Bella immediately shushes me.

“It’s not like I want to go with him!” She whisper-yells defensively.

“Well, what did you tell him?” I lean forward to press her for more details.

“I said yes, but!” She holds up a finger to delay my response, “I want it to be a group thing. I can’t deal with this potentially turning into some kind of date.”

“So you want me to come to be the awkward hand-holding buffer?” I smile to myself as I stir my melting drink.

“I’m asking Jake to come too and probably some of the others from school, I just have to find a weekend when everyone is free.”

“Oh thank god!” Her look of shock causes me to elaborate, “I’m not sure I could handle thwarting his advances towards you on my own, that’s a tall order for a wingwoman against Mike Newton on a mission, Bells.”

She groans and slumps back in her seat, “This is the worst, why couldn’t I have just said no?”

“Because you’re a nice person and even slightly hurting someone’s feelings is the worst thing you could do. I get it, I would’ve done the same thing.” Sighing, I slump down in my seat too.

“It sucks being a girl sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?” My head lolls in her direction as I ask her sarcastically and we both let out a giggle.

As soon as I walk in the door from my girl-date with Bella, I shoot a text to Quil:

Hey, you down for going to the movies? Bella is getting some friends together to go at some point in the near future, Jake will probably be there too.

A ping chirps from my phone before I even set my backpack down:

Absolutely, just let me know when and where Y/n/n.

I smile to myself - happy to get him out and hanging with other people, Quil has been struggling recently with Embry dropping off the map to spend time with Sam Uley. Somehow Sam is managing to dig his claws into the young guys of the tribe one by one, there also seems to be a gag order in place to not talk to anyone since Embry is ghosting us.

I just hope Jake and Quil aren’t next, I don’t think I could handle more people abandoning me.

• February 20th, 2006 • Port Angeles, WA •

Reader

This group-movie-thing has got to be the newest and worst idea Isabella Swan has ever had.

Somehow in the shuffle under the dim lighting in the theater, Jake pushed his way between Bella and I, causing Mike to snatch up the other available seat next to her before I could even think of switching sides.

Huffing, I settle for sitting in between Jake and Quil, nervously meeting Bella’s panicked eyes as the opening ads begin playing.

I lean over and bump Quil with my shoulder, “Boys are mindless beasts.” I jokingly whisper.

“And girls never shut the fuck up in movies.” He whispers right back without missing a beat, devouring the bucket of popcorn while his eyes stay glued to the silver screen.

I turn my upper body to face him with a look of shock, this fucker-

But Jacob shushes us before we could get into it. I let out an exasperated sigh and cross my arms as I settle in for the movie, fucking boys.

Ya know, last time I went to the movies I told Bella I would choose the next one.

Well, as my luck would have it, the boys beat us three to two on what to watch. Which means I’ve been left to suffer through gory after gory scene in this stupid action movie.

Cringing behind my hands as I squint, legs tucked up to my chest, Mike suddenly announces, “Okay-I think I’mgoingtothrowup.” And bolts from his chair for the exit, all of us turning to watch him run.

Bella turns to look at me questioningly and I gesture to follow him, all of us rising to leave.

“What a marshmallow.” Jake jokes as soon as we exit the theater and I try to stifle my laughter at the accuracy as we watch Mike dive for the bathroom door. “You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”

“Yeah - I’ll keep my eye open for that.” Bella laughs, like actually laughs and it makes my heart a little happier to hear the sound from her again.

“I feel bad, he probably has that flu that’s-going around.” Bella’s voice trails off as I watch Jacob slide his hand into hers, but she drops it and twists around at the bottom of the stairs while we wait for Mike.

“What, I can’t hold your hand?” Jake’s offended tone immediately sets alarm bells off in my head and I turn to Quil, my eyes staring a hole in his chest.

“Of course you can, I just think it means something a little different.” I can hear Bella backpedaling to avoid hurting his feelings and it makes me cringe so hard I tune out their words.

Obviously this conversation needs to happen between them, but the urge to step in and come to her rescue fights my rational thought.

“Hey, let’s give them some space.” Quil whispers to me, steering me to the other side of the bathroom. Mike’s sounds of vomiting echoing as we pass and it makes me wince, poor dude can’t catch a break.

“But-” I look over my shoulder to check on my friend and see nothing but Jake’s tense back.

“I can see her from here and she’s fine.” Quil’s eyes never move from Bella, I can tell he feels the same way about their conversation.

“I knew this would happen sooner or later, but right now?” I speculate out loud.

“Jake’s always had the best fucking timing.”

“Really?” I ask questioningly.

“Of course not, dumbass - it was sarcasm.”

I punch his shoulder and he recoils from me at the same time a haggard-looking Mike Newton emerges from the men’s bathroom.

“Well, I need to go home.” The marshmallow announces, interrupting whatever was happening between Jacob and Bella on the stairs. “I-I was feeling sick before the movie. What is your problem?”

Quil hurriedly pushes me towards them, somehow already sensing a shift in the conversation.

“You, you’re my problem. Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital. Want me to put you in the hospital?”

Quil surges past me to play mediator at the same time Bella grabs Jacob’s wrist.

“Jake! Jake-Jake, the movie is over, what are you doing?” I standby uselessly and watch as Bella tries to calm him down.

“Hey man-” Quil lays a hand on his chest to get his attention, but it fails.

“You’re really hot… You feel like you have a fever, are you okay?” I watch as Bella’s hands move along his arm, concern flooding her voice and moving her hands.

“I don’t know what’s happening. I gotta go.” Abruptly Jacob rushes for the exit, leaving the four of us dumbfounded in the corridor.

“Dude is weird.” Mike quips, but we ignore him, worried about our friend.

The car ride home with Quil was… Awkward. Jake blowing up on Mike ended the night on a sour note, but his behavior had my mind racing.

It’s so obvious he’s in love with Bella and I’m worried I might eventually find myself in her same shoes. I chew on my lip nervously as I tap my fingers on the steering wheel, too fast for it to be with the beat of whatever is playing on the radio.

Quil leans over to shut the music off, “Alright, what’s wrong?”

At first I’m not really sure what to tell him, the anxiety of having the conversation I know we need to have is eating me alive.

“I’m worried about Jake.”

“Jake will be fine-”

“No, I know that. I’m just worried about what’s going on with him.” My hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“I’m not following, Y/n/n.” His eyebrows bunch together as he turns his face to study me.

“He’s in love with her.” I glance at him for a second before turning back to the road. “And-and I’m worried that we-”

“Pull over, please.” He asks gently and immediately I begin to panic internally.

Slowing to a stop on the shoulder of the deserted road back to Forks, Quil reaches up to turn on the car cabin light before turning to face me fully, “Y/n.”

Slowly I let go of the steering wheel and face him, worried about what he could possibly unleash on me.

“You’re my best friend, plain and simple. Jake and Bella are not us, I don’t have feelings for you like he does for her.” A puff of air blows through my lips as I deflate in relief, but he grabs my hands and continues. “You’re my sister for all intents and purposes, you don’t need to worry about that.”

My breaths are a bit shaky as I come down from the anxiety high, “I just don’t want you to think I’m close to you because I’m looking for something…” I look down at our joined hands and squeeze his. “After him, I just can’t.”

Tears begin to make my vision swim, it hurts every fiber of my being just thinking about potentially wanting someone else.

“I don’t know what happened with Hale,” my breath hitches at the name, “I don’t need the details about that whole situation, but I’m not here to replace him. I don’t want to, I just want a best friend that won’t leave me.”

“That’s all I want too, I can’t take anyone else leaving.”

Quil leans over the center console to pull me into a hug and my body relaxes.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers before letting go and leaning back into his seat.

Putting the car back into drive and continuing to the reservation to drop him off, a little sliver of dread worms its way into the cracks of my heart.

Everyone that says they aren’t going anywhere eventually goes somewhere, it’s like jinxing yourself with hard odds to beat - impossible.

Teaser

Taglist Part 1:

@aoi-targaryen @Min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @Blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea @foolsgoldxo @heartfilia01 @azuredgalaxies @geekysimmerthings @graciereads @ramen-girl-2424 @0hmydekiru @creeqvealley @cherriebat @whichwitchisthebitch @dragon-rider-with-a-book @secretfairytailpetscookie @psychobitchsthings

Sorry it took so long to fix!

#bless-my-demons #redamancy series #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfiction #twilight fanfiction #jasper whitlock hale #twilight #jasper hale x female!reader #jasper hale #female reader insert

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jasntodds · 10 months

Text

Petrichor [3]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 15,168

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut, oral (m receiving), a smidge of angst, violence, blood, description of bruises, mentions of scars, titans isn’t descriptive about Jason’s dad so I’m pulling from Arkham Knight verse because I can, mentions of abuse (Arkham knight!canon),mentions of previous homelessness, mentions of being tortured and held captive

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Hey, look we’re getting somewhere lol There’s so much in this chapter that comes up later so I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A couple of days later, Bruce informs Jason and you he has a Justice League thing so he’ll be out of town for the next few days. He mostly just asks you both not to get into trouble while he’s gone. No joyrides in the Batmobile and no riding motorcycles in the Manor. Jason has a smirk while Bruce said it, as if he does all of it on purpose. But, you both agree to be on your best behavior while he’s gone. And this first day, you are.

For most of the day, you hang around the manor together. You have a few training sessions, you not getting so lucky this time but it’s training. And you help Jason make a pasta dish for dinner. The day itself is pretty casual with nothing really happening but the two of you actually feel really comfortable. Bruce leaves you both alone for the most part but he’s not here at all and it’s kind of nice having the manor to yourselves.

“So, he just leaves you here alone when he has a thing?” You ask, plopping down next to Jason on the couch, practically sitting on top of him.

Jason snaps his attention away from his book to look at you with furrowed brows. “Yeah,” Jason scoffs. “Whole place to myself.” He stretches out one of his arms, as if to be claiming the manor.

“Sounds boring.” You state, leaning your head back.

The manor is already big. It already can feel a little less than homey. It’s too big for even three people to be living here. Boring wasn’t quite the right word, but saying lonely seemed a bit much. But, that’s what you think. It would be lonely being here alone. The tower felt empty even and you had Gar and Krypto, then Conner when he woke up. It just seems a little sad to you.

“Well, you’re here, can’t be too bored now.” The corner of Jason’s mouth perks into a grin.

“You’re right, I’m very entertaining.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm hangs from your words and you pick your head up.

Jason furrows his brows and he’s not letting you have that one. He gives you a shove, not too hard but enough to make you fall to the side.

“Hey!” Your laugh reverberates against the walls and the warmest smile comes to Jason’s face. “That’s my thing.”

“No, that was entertaining.” Jason laughs.

“Asshole.” You groan and instead of getting up, you lay on your back and swing your legs over him.

“Fuck you.” Jason chuckles and you have this grin that makes his stomach spin. “Hey,” Jason swings his arm over the back of the couch, turning to face you, careful to keep your legs on him.

“Hey.” You mock him and he’s got that look. You know he’s about to have a bad idea that you will absolutely go along with.

“Wanna do something tonight?” The right side of his mouth tugs up and he wiggles his brows at you.

“There is something mildly unsettling about you asking me that.” You blink up at him and Jason gives you a devious smirk. “What exactly were you thinking?”

“Wanna do a bust? There’s a group of dealers near Crime Alley, could take ‘em down.”

“Mmh,” You sit up, getting closer to his face. “And why exactly would we do that now when Bruce isn’t here?”

Jason shrugs, tilting his head to the right slightly. “Could be fun.”

“Oh, for fun?” You mock him. “Because hanging out here with me isn’t fun enough?”

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, landing on your eyes again. “You could spice it up a bit.”

“Oh, I could?” You let out a booming laugh, leaning back slightly. “Do tell, Jay.” You close more the distance between you this time.

Jason feels his cheeks start to warm. “Got the whole Manor to ourselves.” Jason avoids the question, letting you imagine whatever you want.

You smirk at him. “That’s forward.” You let out a laugh.

“I didn’t say shit. I’m just saying, whatever you’re thinking is all you, babe.”

“Okay, so right here on the couch? Right now?” You quip and Jason’s heart completely stops in his chest, eyes bugging out of his head.

“I’m not sure how, but that’s a fucking trap.” Jason states and he wishes it wasn’t.

“Maybe.” You chuckle softly. It’s not a trap. “When did you wanna go, Batboy?” Your eyes widen and of course you aren’t going to turn this down. You aren’t ready to get out there fully yet but this is just you and Jason. It will likely be fun as long as this goes better than Deathstroke.

Jason smirks down at you. “Get ready now?”

You roll your eyes. “Patience is a virtue, Jay.”

“So is kicking ass, Babe.”

You let out a sigh and lean back, swinging your legs off of him. “Fine. Taking the bike?”

“Hell yeah.” Jason states watching as you get up. “You should be able to get your license soon. You’re doing pretty good.”

“Well, if we’re going to be doing this shit together, it’s a lot more efficient to take one bike rather than two.” You shrug. “Less noise.”

“Pretty sure you just like holding onto me.” Jason offers with a shrug.

“Yeah, that too, I guess.” You roll your shoulders dramatically and sometimes you might just like to fill his ego a little.

The two of you get up and head your separate ways to get ready. You’re actually kind of excited to get back out there. You haven’t dared to ask Bruce if you could tag along during patrol. That seems weird to you and that’s Jason’s whole thing. Patrolling with Batman. You’d never overstep on his thing. But, this? This is just the two of you and this time, it’s on your turf. You both know the city. You both know the bad guys, Jason a lot more than you but you both know. You both know all of the ins and outs, how to get away. All of it. This isn’t Jerry or Deathstroke. These are dealers who are likely dealing to kids, getting them killed and this shouldn’t be too difficult.

Jason and you take his bike to Crime Alley and to a warehouse that’s currently being used. It’s always a warehouse. Can’t they get a little more creative? But, the two of you have a plan. You go in and you bust them. Beat them up a bit, tie them up, and call it good. You’ll call the GCPD with a tip and be home free. It’s a simple plan. Jason’s been looking into them a little bit and none of them are master criminals. He’s pretty confident and you trust his research.

The two of you use your grappling hooks to access the roof and entire through the rooftop door. You’re quiet as you head to the loft, ducking behind some large and dusty boxes. You both peek around the boxes and get a look at five men with several boxes around them. There are two men standing at a table, looking to be sorting something. Another man is standing by the door with a rifle. The fourth man is opening the boxes and the last man is standing in front of all of them with his phone in hand.

“Think they’re moving it tonight?” You whisper to Jason as you both duck back behind the boxes.

“Seems that way.” Jason nods. “Guy with the phone probably runs this sorry excuse of a business.”

“You take him and I’ll take the so-called guard?” You question.

Jason shakes his head and he doesn’t like that idea very much. “No, I got him.”

“You sure?” You ask and you’re suddenly feeling uneasy about it.

Jason can handle himself, you’re positive of that. But, he does come home often enough with bruises that it concerns you. And, if you’re being honest, it just seems better for you to go after the one with a long-range weapon. You can shoot acid at him if you need to, you have your knives and your throwing is accurate. Jason’s is too, of course, but you have the extra benefit of the clairvoyance.

“Yeah, I got this, babe.” Jason offers you a grin and while a large part of his reasoning is that he doesn’t want you to deal with a gun and risk getting shot, he always wants the adrenaline boost.

He wants to face the fear head-on because that’s the only way he’ll get over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. He needs to go out there, feel the adrenaline flow through his blood. Through his entire body. He needs the rush of it all. He’s dealt with this before, more than a handful of times. This should be easy.

“Alright.” You suck in a breath. “Be careful, Jay.”

“Always am. You, too.” Jason nods at you and you nod in response, Jason getting a glimpse of a smile tugging at your lips. “Okay, I’ll walk towards the stairs and when I get there, make a distraction.” Jason states. “So that way I don’t get fucking shot.”

“Will do.” You whisper.

“Ready?”

“Hell yeah.” You nod your head and gain a giant smirk.

Jason gets to his feet, keeping his stance so he’s still hidden behind the boxes as he walks past you. He stays behind some of the industrial equipment as he walks closer to the stairs that are closer to the man guarding the door. You get to a crouching position and watch Jason carefully. You can feel the rush coming over you and you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss this feeling. Sure, pain makes you feel alive but so does this. The adrenaline rush of being a situation that’s just a little dangerous, doing something you definitely probably should not be doing. The helping people because that’s what this is all about at the end of the day. The greater good kind of deal. And then there’s the added benefit of working with Jason. You feel alive as you watch him get to the last bit of equipment that can hide him properly so you grab a knife from your belt, readying yourself to move.

You suck in a breath and pop up from the boxes. Your grip on your knife is tight but you’re ready to go as soon as they notice you. Jason is watching you and when he said to cause a distraction, he definitely did not mean that. He absolutely means to knock something over or throw something not be the bait. And if you both weren’t about to do this right now, he might even be a little annoyed by it. The whole point is that you don’t get hurt and you throw yourself in the way of fire. Maybe it’s something he would do.

“Hey, fuckfaces!” You call, getting the attention of the five men. “Come on, it’s a Thursday night, don’t you have anything better to do than distribute drugs?” You quip while the men collectively stare at you in confusion. “I mean, there’s a river you could drown in instead. Maybe head over to Amusement Mile and test your luck there.”

“Shoot her!” The headman yells while the guard points his gun at you.

The throbbing kickstarts in the front of your head just as Jason pops up, projecting the grappling hook into the door and sliding down the wire, kicking the guy in the chest. You use yours to jump down to the main floor just as Jason makes contact. One of the men at the tables pulls out a gun, aiming it at you just as you throw your knife and it connects with his abdomen immediately followed by a second knife just below it. Blood seeps out as the man drops his gun and the other men pull out their guns and the throbbing is located on all of the men as you grab a knife in one hand and the other hand starts to glow.

You don’t want to use the acid but these are not master criminals. And it’s five against two, four of them have guns. You can only throw two knives at a time, the acid can, at the very least, buy you a little bit of time while Jason gets the guard down. Plus, you’re here with Jason and you’re certain using the acid with him around is safe.

Jason wrestles the guy for his gun as you shoot acid at the men with the guns, a good distraction as they try not to get burned. And you use that opportunity to throw a knife at the man in charge, nailing him in the chest and immediately following it with a knife to his thigh as he goes to the ground. Jason gets the gun away and uses it to knock the guard out and starts attacking one of the other men with a gun.

The last guy holds his gun steady at you and you offer him a smile as you move just before the gun goes off. Jason gets his guy down quickly and moves to the guy who still has a gun pointed at you. But this time, the guy turns to Jason and aims it right at his face just as Jason was nearing him. Jason stands just a few inches from the barrel of the gun and you expect him to be fine. To do something. But instead, you’re watching him completely freeze. He doesn’t move. He looks down the barrel of the gun and doesn’t do a single thing. You don’t even think he’s breathing.

“Robin’s got himself a sidekick.” The man quips and you’re thankful this guy seems to be the arrogant type. They’re always the dumb ones. Want to have bragging rights and go on this huge speech about how great they are, wasting time. Boring.

You don’t offer him any reaction, instead, you reach for two knives and throw them both. You hit the man’s neck, the knife sticking out as blood spills out and the other hits his wrist. The tip of the knife hits the main vein and he drops the gun as he falls to his knees and then to his back. You swear you can see Jason sucking in a breath as you walk up to him.

“Thanks.” Jason mutters. “Let’s tie ‘em up and get outta here.” Jason nods his head but before you can get to the rest of your plan, you can hear sirens in closing in on you.

Jason grabs you by the hand, yanking you with him and the two of you take off back where you came. You’re quick to get on the bike and Jason takes off as soon as he feels you secure around his waste. The place starts getting surrounded by GCPD as you’re trying to escape. Jason veers off, almost a little too quickly to dodge one of the cop cars. Unfortunately, the car does see you and starts following you.

“What if we get caught?” You ask through your com system.

“You suddenly worried about getting caught?” Jason quips, swerving around a car.

“No, but you’re Robin and in your suit.” You state.

“We won’t get caught, hold on.” Jason tells you, pulling back the throttle and kicking the bike up into third. Your grip tightens around him, the flashing lights shine behind you.

As you round a corner, Jason spots an alley and veers right into it before the cop makes it all the way around the corner. Jason shuts the bike off in the dark alley, getting off the bike as he takes his helmet off. He walks over the entrance, looking out but still hidden in the shadows. You follow his lead and stand opposite him, looking the other way to see if you can see anything.

Jason glances to you and most of your face is covered in the shadows but he swears you are enthralling. Your breathing is rapid from adrenaline and you’re standing a little close to him. He can’t help but watch you because you really went into this with him. He brings it up and you go with it, you have a plan and stick with it. And you looked out for him tonight when it never should have been your job. And you can handle yourself.

He remembers your first few weeks of training and you were less than good but tonight, you could have taken down all five men by yourself and Jason thinks you’re incredible. Despite it all, you show no fear in any of this. Between Jerry and Deathstroke, you go into this ready to roll and that’s the end of it. Jason finds you courageous and admirable and completely and utterly enthralling. All he wants is you. Him and Rose would do this, but Rose kind of did her own thing. They weren’t really a team but Jason and you work together really well. You look out for each other and you listen to each other. You’re in it together, always. And Jason swears you’re everything to him.

You can feel his stare on you so you look back at him, and you’re almost standing chest-to-chest. The alley is a tight squeeze and you’re so close. You can hear your heart in your ears and your stomach swirls. You can see Jason’s signature smirk in the low light and it makes you almost laugh. He’s here smirking while you’re hiding from the cops and you can’t wipe the smile off of your face. He gets just a big a kick out of this as you do. No one ever understood it. The running from cops thing. It’s fun. Adrenaline-inducing, even knowing you won’t get caught. Jason gets it though and he’s looking at you and you feel exposed in a good way.

“Hey.” You whisper to him, chewing the inside of your cheek.

“Hey.” Jason’s voice is low and his heart is stuck between thunder and stopping. His breath hitches in his throat and he’s so close.

“Hey.” You repeat and you don’t know what else to say.

All you do know is that you’re happy you both did this. You both took down some bad men and you did it together. You swear you wouldn’t have it any other way. Being a vigilante is cool and it’s fun in itself but working with Jason, that’s different. It’s different because it’s him and he makes everything better.

Jason starts leaning his head down closer to you and your entire being completely freezes. You want to close the distance between you but you can’t bring yourself to. You want to kiss him so badly it physically aches the very center of your chest. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to do since the first time you did it.

“Thanks for coming.” Jason’s voice is so low, you barely even hear him.

“I’ll always come with you.” You match the lowness and you reach forward, grabbing his cape in one hand.

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, his breathing growing quicker. And for a split second, he finally has the thought of “fuck it”. He presses his forehead to yours and you brush your nose against his. Neither of you can even breathe properly. Jason can feel your breath ragged against his lips as his mouth runs dry. And it’s as if this is the moment all of this has led up.

A kiss where there are no stakes in it. It’s not because one of you almost died. It’s because you’re running from the cops in an environment where you both feel comfortable and somehow, safe. Safe enough. And Jason’s head swims, almost completely oblivious to the sounds around you or the way his hands are inductively coming to your hips. You close your eyes and you want to exist in this moment for the rest of your life. In this moment where it’s just you and him in a dark alley surrounded by Gotham’s humid air of summer. With this lip brushing yours. And that is all Jason wants, too.

But, then you both hear the sirens and you’re snapped right out of it. You both look to the side, seeing the flashing lights and Jason squeezes your hips, moving you to the side allowing you both to be further in the shadows of the alley. Your heart sinks and you think maybe you should have went for it. It’s bound to happen and you know it. But, you did nothing anyway. And you have never been more disappointed by anything. Jason swears it’s hard for him to commit to it. Like, maybe if you just…did it. No need for a discussion or anything. Maybe you could just do it. There really wasn’t a discussion with Rose, though and that all worked out so well. But, this is you and he thinks kissing you might make things easier. But then he comes back to not wanting his heart broken again. And definitely not wanting to break yours.

“We should get out of here.” Jason clears his throat, his voice still a whisper.

“Yeah, good idea.” You nod your head, grabbing your helmet from the bike.

The two of you get on and Jason drives back to the Manor neither of you saying a word through the entire drive. When you get back to the Manor, Jason heads off to take the suit off and you head to your room to change. You take one of your knives from the belt and put it in between the mattress and bedframe, making sure it’s always there, just in case. You put the rest of her knives on a dresser, laying your belt flat and call it good before grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the shower.

Jason waits for his turn to shower in his room and his hands are still shaking. He tries to convince himself it’s just the adrenaline dump. It happened the first few weeks as Robin. He’d go out with Bruce and he’d be so excited and happy to be there. He’d be out helping, kicking ass with Batman and then he’d come back to the Manor still roaring from the high and his hands would shake from the unfiltered excitement. It’s like his body just didn’t know what to do with the feeling so it just vibrated. But, he knows this is not that.

He froze and you had to bail him out. It sucks and that part scares him even more. What’s he going to do if he can’t come back from this? He can’t be out there being Robin and freeze. He’ll get killed, he’ll get other people killed. He feels weak and useless.

“Your turn.” You offer him a soft smile as you walk into his room.

Jason's thoughts dissolve away as he looks up seeing your hair still wet from the shower. You’re wearing a t-shirt and shorts, something he’s seen in a hundred time but you look really comfortable. Jason thinks if comfort were a person, maybe it’d be you.

“Thanks.” Jason gets up from his spot on the bed and his tired eyes and slight limp don’t go unnoticed.

“You okay, Jay?” You look at him with gentle eyes.

“All good.” Jason shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll be back, you wanna watch something when I get back?” Jason dodges the conversation because he can’t admit that he’s weak to you. He can’t say the words out loud and make them real. He can’t cement them into the universe and he can’t let you know him differently.

You nod and offer him a sweet smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice. I’ll wait here.” You walk past him and take a seat on his bed. “Did you have a preference?”

“Nope.” Jason lets himself chuckle, looking over his shoulder. “You have alright taste.” He scrunches his nose.

“Shut up. I have a superior taste.” You hold your head up high.

“Sure, you do, babe. Alright, I’ll be back.” Jason lets out a sigh before he heads out of his room.

You look around and you think it’s weird he hasn’t made this place his own. There’s still a framed poster for the Flying Graysons on one wall and besides a bookshelf with several books and clothes on the floor, it doesn’t feel very Jasony. At the tower, he moved a bike into his room, skateboard, and graffiti on the walls. There were things that were his on display. But, not here.

Jason talks a lot of shit about Dick but you kind of wonders if he talks shit about Dick for the same reasons you do. His name is literally Dick, he set that up himself. But, also because it’s easier. Sure, they have bigger problems and Dick was the first Robin, the first son to Bruce Wayne. Sure, and that’s gonna cause it’s own drama because they’re brothers. But, you wonder if it’s also because despite it all, despite Dick being an ass sometimes, he'd look out for all of you.

He let you all exist. When you’d pull a prank, he never got really mad. He let you prank each other, let you prank him. If any of you wanted anything for your rooms or clothes or food or video games or supplies for hobbies, anything, all you had to do was ask and Dick would give you a credit card. He’d join you all for movie nights sometimes, never complaining about it. Dick always acted more like an older brother to all of you than anything else. And you wonder if that’s why Jason acts like he doesn’t like him half the time. It’s a lot easier to fight than admit sometimes Dick isn’t so bad. That someone is actually making an effort when they’re in a position of authority because one day he might leave. He did. Maybe there’s a point to that. But, maybe Dick always a point at the end of the day. And maybe it’s easier because in a way, Jason is kind of Dick’s replacement and that’s probably hard trying to fill his shoes.

Jason froze tonight which definitely seems uncharacteristic. you remember when he fought Dr. Light. You held him off for a minute or so while Jason regained himself. But, it was just a few seconds and Jason dove right in to fight at first anyway. Jason didn’t miss a beat and once he was back on his feet, Dr. Light should have been done for. He would have been if it weren’t for Deathstroke. And you’ve seen the videos. Jason doesn’t freeze. But, tonight he did. And you wonder if he’s been freezing on patrol and that’s why he’s coming home with bruises.

Jason is skilled and he’s been doing this for a while. You expect him to come home injured from time to time, of course, he’s not invincible but the way he talks about it, that they got lucky, it makes you think something is up. He went through something horrible and traumatic and you’re not judging him for that but you’re worried. He looks tired and he’s limping but he didn’t take as single hit to the leg. Jason Todd does not freeze and you’re worried about him.

“What’s up?” Jason asks as he enters his room wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

You snap your attention back to him, eyes slightly wide and you didn’t realize you’d been sitting here thinking for that long. “Nothing.” You shake your head. “Just…are you sure you’re okay, Jay?” You furrow your brows while Jason walks over to the bed, standing in front of you, quirking a brow.

“Yeah, why?”

The shower helped clear his head. The warmth of the steam usually does it but honestly, the only thing he wants to do right about now is lay down with you. Not this talking shit. He’s fine. Maybe if he says it enough times, he will be.

“You froze tonight.” You state, looking up at him.

“I didn’t freeze.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“I mean…” You trail off. “You paused and I had to bail you out which is fine, of course. It was just weird for you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” You watch his face, the way his eyes dart up to the left for a split second before coming back to you.

“I’m fucking fine, alright? It’s not a thing.” Jason snips and he goes to move away but you grab his hand.

“Hey,” You search his face as he turns back around. “It’s you and me, like literally, no one else is even here. What the hell is going on?”

Jason sucks in a breath and he’s really good at lying. He doesn’t want to lie to you but that seems so much better than talking about the terror he’s living through every day. When it’s just you, here at the Manor or walking around Gotham, it distracts him. It distracts him from all of it and you make him feel okay. He doesn’t feel scared around you but then he goes out and it’s like he’s trapped with Deathstroke again. He doesn’t get it and it sucks. It makes him feel useless. Broken. Damaged. So, he lies to avoid ever saying those words to you.

“Okay, look, I hurt my back on patrol last night. It’s fine.”

Your eyes narrow and you don’t believe it. He’s been fine, physically. You are almost certain you would notice because you notice that after your third training session of the day, he’s always favoring his leg. You don’t ask, but you’re always a little cautious when you sit with him or lay with him and you offer to get him things more. Jason is good at hiding pain, he’s been doing it his entire life but he’s also relaxed around you and that’s why you know about his leg. If his back hurt, you’d know.

“You seemed fine earlier?”

Jason shakes his head and shakes his hand from yours, resting both of his hands on your shoulders. “I’m fine, alright? It’s just a pulled muscle, must have aggravated it during sparring today.”

He’s lying. Jason is really good at lying but he’s dodging your eyes and not looking at your lips. You’re gathering that’s his tell. For whatever reason, he’s lying to you and it kind of bothers you. But, it’s Jason and you’re patient with him. He’ll tell you when he’s ready and you accept that. You figure you’ll keep an eye on him a little more than usual and see how it goes. You swear that if you see him slipping again, you’ll talk to Bruce. You’ll call Dick, Gar, Kory, you’ll call everyone you have to to make sure Jason is okay.

“Did you want me to rub your back then?” You offer, looking up at him.

Jason gains a smirk and the back isn’t a total lie. It is sore. It’s not just the leg pain. Conner caught him which saved his life and saved him from any catastrophic injury but he’s noticed his back tends to hurt a bit more ever since. He landed right on top of Conner, on his back. It wasn’t exactly graceful or painless. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, but it gets sore.

“Are you flirting with me?” Jason smirks, squeezing your shoulders.

Your cheeks start to burn as you suck in a breath. You’re down to play the game again. You tilt your head barely to the right and then back up. “What if I am, Jay?”

Jason lets out a breath, moving his jaw to the left as he grins. “You could be a little better at it.”

Your eyebrows shoot up as your mouth falls open. If he wants to play that game, you’ll play. You lift your hand and slide your first finger into the waistband of his shorts and pull him closer to you, never letting your eyes leave his and Jason feels his heart come up to his throat as he moves closer to you. You bat your eyes at him and you know that won’t be nearly enough to shut him the fuck up. So, you slide your hand from his waistband, to the collar of his shirt and pull him down to you as you lean back, Jason catching himself with his hand. His palms land on the mattress, on either side of your head.

Jason’s breath hitches in his throat as he looks at you. You move your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and Jason’s mind starts to race with the thundering of his heart. He’s thinking you’re going to actually bring this beyond flirting. He is silently begging to the universe for you to take this beyond flirting. His eyes dart to your lips and he thinks about doing it first, just to win. He thinks about it for a split second but what if you’re just screwing with him like always? Just being flirty? So, he doesn’t move and instead, keeps his eyes on your lips.

You lean up, moving your hand away from his left cheek. He feels your breath hot on his skin and he feels like he’s going to combust right into the stratosphere. You make your way down to his neck and nips at the skin. Jason lets out a soft groan at it, his head dipping and you know you’ve just won. You come back to his cheek, and lick him.

“Ah!” Jason groans, scrunching his nose as he quickly moves his hand to his cheek to wipe the spit off but he’s laughing while you lay back down.

“Was that good enough for you?” You quip and you have this proud smile that Jason thinks might send him into cardiac arrest.

This was definitely good enough for him but Jason likes to play. It’s his game to win and maybe he’s hoping you’ll keep upping your tactics until there is nothing else left to do. Maybe you can meet in the middle.

His brows furrow as he places his hand back down near the side of your head. “Nope, I can do better.”

You let out a laugh and you love the way your heart goes into your stomach. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Take off your shirt and let me rub your back.” Jason’s voice is low and you feel the rollercoaster start between your heart and stomach. And you almost do it just to fuck with him.

“You just wanna see my boobs.” You manage to get out and you hope he doesn’t notice the quiver of your voice.

He does and he gains the most devious grin you’ve ever seen. “I’m not opposed.” Jason chuckles from above you.

“Keep dreaming, Jay.” You grin at him before you clear your throat because if you stay like this, you’ll cave. You’re so certain of that because you’re looking up at him and whenever you’re this close, you get to see just how green and pretty his eyes are. You’re almost certain you’ll never get tired of the shade of green. “So, uh, I think I won that one. Got a pretty noise out of you.” Jason swears he just swallowed his own vocal cord with the comment. It was a pretty noise and you kind of want to see what else you can get out of him. But, that’s not your place. You are friends, despite the fact you both know you are not. “Seriously,” You suck in a breath. “I can rub your back if you think it’ll help. I don’t mind.”

Jason lets out a chuckle and then what seems to be a sigh of mixed relief and disappointment falls from his lips. He pushes himself up, you sitting up with him. “Thanks.” Jason nods his head with a soft smile and gets on the bed.

You beam and you reach for the remote on his nightstand while Jason tugs his shirt over his head. He lays on his stomach, facing the TV while you turns on a show for background. You take a second, looking over at Jason and his back is nicely toned. His shoulder muscles are stretched as he has his hands under his chin to hold his head up and you’d be lying if you didn’t find it very attractive. But, you can’t just stare so you move to sit on top of him so you can rub his back. And that’s when you see it.

You move to look over to his right side where you can see a large blotch of deep maroon peaking around to his back and your entire heart sinks. It doesn’t matter that he’s Robin. That’s not the issue. That will never be the issue. The issue is that yo’uve seen all of these videos, of him as Robin, barely taking hits. Sure, he gets knocked around sometimes, but this seems bad.

“Jay?” You call your voice soft and Jason can tell by your movement you’ve found the bruise.

“It’s fine.” Jason assures you.

“Is it?” You ask. “It looks pretty bad. I mean, I would know.” Jason can hear the worry in your voice and he hates worrying you.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Was this from last night or the night before?”

“Night before.” He thinks about lying to you but that’s not fair. You don’t lie to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jason looks over his shoulder to see the look of unfiltered concern across your face. “Didn’t want you to fucking worry. I’m fine.” The left corner of his mouth twitches up and he always does that when he’s trying to convince you he’s fine.

You narrow your eyes at him. “I think I’m gonna make you a swear jar but instead it’ll be an ‘I’m fine’ jar.” You quip.

“You know we get hurt out there sometimes. It’s not a thing.” Jason gives you a fake cocky grin.

You know that’s true. Maybe it was a bad night. You’re uneasy about it but he makes a good point. And maybe you’re just worried because it’s him and you’re so sure about your feelings. And tonight happened where he froze and maybe you’re overthinking it. You hope you’re overthinking it.

“Yeah, okay.” You nod your head. “Did you want like ice though? I mean…it is bad.”

“No.” Jason chuckles, turning his head back forward. “I’m alright. Thanks, though.”

“Yeah, okay.” You let out a sigh as you rest your hands on his back, lightly rubbing over his warm skin. You look over his back where you notices a few old scars. There’s one up on his shoulder blade and another down by his left kidney. Your finger traces over the one on his shoulder blade. “Where’s it hurt?” Your voice is so gentle it sends a rush of goosebumps down his spine.

“All over.” Jason has his eyes closed and he doesn’t even realize he answered so easily but it makes you smile softly.

“How’d you get the scars?” You ask as you start at his shoulders.

Jason lets out a groan, no one’s ever done this before. “Uh, shoulder was a fight. Fucker had a knife and I had my fists.”

“Ouch.” Your brows furrow. “Before Robin?”

“Yeah, first year on the streets.”

“How long were on the streets for?” You keep working on his shoulders.

“Four years, in and out of foster care.” Jason lets out a sigh as you work out a knot.

“Wow.” You say quietly and you didn’t realize he was on the streets that long. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, it’s alright though.” Jason sucks in a breath. “Worked out, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but that’s still rough. When did you find that school?” You ask and it warms Jason’s heart that you remember.

“I don’t know, after two years I think. Uh, it was winter, cold as shit outside. But, the school was open. It was somewhere warm with a roof. No one to bother me.”

“I’m glad you found that place.”

“Yeah, me, too.” Jason lets out a sigh because he knows that winter would have been tough if not.

The shelters aren’t always a good place. They don’t have a lot of space and there are rules. Jason doesn’t like the rules very much and then you have bad people who don’t have kid’s best interests at heart. The school was safe.

“Wasn’t all bad, I did like that place.”

You get a soft smile as you slide your hands down his back. “Good, I’m glad you had a place to go at least. And it sparked an interest.” You let out a soft laugh and you feel Jason chuckle under you. You tap the other scar gently. “This one?”

“Fight with my dad.” Jason clears his throat. No one knows about that. He really hates talking about it.

You stiffen and you know his dad sucked but you didn’t realize it was like that. You lean over, looking at his face and his eyes are open now, distant and sad. “What do you mean a fight with your dad?”

“Mom and me were better off without him.” Jason clenches his jaw and you get it, your heart breaking for him. And you wonder if he’s ever had a break in his entire life.

“I’m really sorry, Jay.” You trace the scar gently before going back to rubbing his back. “You deserved better.”

Jason laughs softly from under you because that’s a lot easier than letting the world know it hurts. “I’m Robin, babe. All good.”

“You always do that. Something bad happens and you say it’s good because you’re Robin.” You find a knot in his back and start to work on it, Jason groaning from under you. “I mean, it’s great but, uh…” You pause for a few seconds, Jason listening closing. “You just… remember that night with Jerry?”

“Of course.”

“You asked if I felt better and I said no. Do you remember why?”

Jason could never forget what you said. He remembers your entire rant because in your rant about Jerry, he’s the one that felt seen. Because you let him see you. “Because it happened to you.”

“Yeah, like…it didn’t matter if I ran from it or into it because it still fucking happened. I don’t know. You, uh, you just…you got that. You didn’t expect me to be fine about it or okay with it. It happened to me and you accepted that as a part of me but not in that traumatic way but just that it was a part of my life. I don’t really know how to phrase that.” You laugh awkwardly but you have Jason’s undivided attention. “Like, uh, it matters because it happened to me and there’s nothing I can do to erase it but it doesn’t have to matter in a huge way because I have you.” You shrug and you keep your eyes on your hands, trying to get the knot out. Jason can see you from the corner of his eyes. “It matters because it happened to me but it’s not my defying quality and it doesn’t need to be fixed. Just worked through when I’m ready and in a way I feel comfortable with. You, uh, you taught me that.” You clear your throat. “So, I guess the point of that run-on sentence was that you don’t have to do that. Like, brush it off and shit. Not with me anyway. It happened to you to you, too and that’s okay. It’s not your defining quality and you don’t have to be fine or okay with it. With anything bad that happens because you’ll get through it, one way or another and you’ll have me.”

Jason turns his head to look at the TV and no one gets him like you do and he can’t even understand it. His chest physically aches because it means almost too much to him. It’s something he knows he’ll never be able to comprehend. He’ll never understand why he matters to you. Or why you care so much about him. He’ll never understand why you’re like this with him or how he’d ever be good enough for you. He swears he doesn’t deserve you or your kindness and understanding. You went through hell and Jason has seen it. You’re snarky as hell, a fire he can’t put out. He almost thinks if he looks at you too long, he’ll turn into ash. But, here you are, rubbing knots out of his back with gentle fingers and gentle words.

“Thank you.” Jason finally says. “Yeah, I don’t fucking talk about. Never told Bruce. I’m sure he fucking knows but I never told him or Alfred.”

“I won’t tell him.” You assure him. “Dads are the worst.”

“Yeah, fucking right.” Jason shakes his head. “What about you? You were on the streets a year, yeah?”

“Mhm.” You hum. “Mom died and two days later CPS showed up so I bailed. Bounced around shelters and slept under one of the overpasses sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.” Jason says quietly. You really had no time to grieve. You were thrown right into the thick of it. Jason was shipped off to his uncle and then into foster care when his mom and uncle died.

“It's alright, got a lot worse.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm drips from your words. “No, but, uh, Gotham ya know? It’s home whether I’m on the streets or in fucking Bruce Wayne’s Manor, I guess.”

Jason laughs from under you. “Takes getting used to.”

"No shit, it's fucking weird." You smile softly. "But thank you for asking him to take me in."

Jason looks at you again. "I'd do anything for your ass."

"I'd do anything for you." You repeat back.

And the two of you fall into a comfortable silence while you work on his back. He's tense all over and you don't think he should be. Jason Todd deserves to relax, let his guard down. He doesn't need to be so stressed all of the time. He's too good for it. Life has not been kind to him and you make a silent promise to yourself that if life is going to keep treating him so cruelly, you never will. You'll fight every horrible, terrible, bad thing that comes near him because he should have a break. And you really like him. You really, really, like him.

"You have a nice back." You blurt out.

Jason lets out a booming laugh almost unsure if he heard you correctly. "What?"

"You have a nice back." You repeat, this time with more confidence.

"Thanks?" Jason questions, unsure what else he's supposed to say. In your friendship this far, you've never really complimented each other's appearances. It's something Jason didn't realize until now. There was that one time the first day you met but other than that, you've never said anything to each other. "You've got a nice ass."

You pause, laughing from above him. "Thank you? I guess?"

"You're welcome." Jason answers confidently.

You roll your eyes. "Shithead."

"Babe." Jason clears his throat and that was a deep conversation. Time for some fun again. "Anything else nice about me?" The sarcasm drips from his words like honey.

"Are you digging for a compliment?"

"Nah, but you're the one sitting on my ass and complimenting my back."

"Alright, fine." You let out a sigh and decide to just take the bait and see where it goes with no one home. "I do like your face." You admit and Jason twists his head, nearly shifting his entire body to look at you. "What? I literally told you that the first day I met you."

Jason remembers you doing that to try and distract him. "Thought you were fucking with me."

"Eh, that too but it's true." You shrug. "You gotta nice face." You smile softly, keeping your eyes on his back almost nervous to look at him.

Jason chuckles and you have a nice face, too. "Sit up for a sec."

"Uh, okay?" You question, sitting up on your knees and Jason shifts under you, turning around to face you. You feel your stomach flip and your heart start to race. "Yes?" Sam try to play it cool as you sit back down on him. You suddenly have no idea what to do with your hands. You’ve never so unsure of where to put them or aware of their existence until right now.

"You have a nice face, too." Jason mocks you and you roll your eyes.

"I'll take it back." You defend because you’re almost certain he's just teasing you.

"You can't take it back." Jason defends as he rests his hands on your thighs and your breath catches in your throat. "It's true though."

You finally decide to place your hands on his chest and he's so warm under you. His skin is smooth here, unlike his hands that are always calloused and rough. And he's tough, the muscle under his skin. He's so sturdy and it's not all that surprising. He trains a lot but it is very attractive. And it's making you a little nervous.

"Taking it back." You taunt him but there's a fire that's fallen in your words and Jason raises a brow at you.

"What's up?"

"Huh?" You shake your head. Your eyes are wider than usual and you aren't sure where to look. His chest and abs are a little distracting. But so is his face while you’re sitting on top of him. His hands are on your thighs and you’re ready to explode into a million pieces. "Nothing. What?"

A sly grin paints itself across Jason's face. "You look nervous."

"I'm not nervous!" You rush your words, putting pressure on his chest in defense. He can't know you’re nervous.

"You sure?" He's taunting you but you are nervous. He makes you nervous sometimes and it's different. This is a lot different because he's facing you and you’re sitting on him. His hands creep further up your thighs, goosebumps spreading over your skin. What the hell is he up to?

"What're you doing, Jay?" You shake your head at him and it's as if you’ve been glued in this exact position.

"Nothing." Jason smirk up at you. He's wondering how far he can push this until you move or make some quip that'll make him burst into a fit of laughter. Payback for earlier.

"Oh, nothing? Not trying to pull some shit?" You raise a brow at him, narrowing your eyes and he is always up to something. That is one of his defining characteristics.

"Nope." The smirk stays steady on his lips but he's holding back a laugh.

"Liar." You raise your brows at him and you’re begging for him to just do it. Do something.

"What shit do you think I'm pulling?"

"I dunno." You shrug, your thumbs rubbing over his skin softly. "Playing chicken."

"We're always doing that."

"Uh-huh, but I'm on top of you now." You offer him a grin, trying to swallow your own nerves.

Jason lets out a breath and he isn't sure how to commit to this. He doesn't know how. When he tried with Rose, it blew up. She avoided it until she couldn't anymore. Jason doesn't want to do that to you but he doesn't know how to go about it. What if you leave? What if being more than whatever the hell you are is too much? He doesn't know how that could be the case but maybe it is. That's when Rose decide to come clean. She used him. You aren't Rose but it's still a fresh wound and he can't wrap his head around someone sticking it out with him. But he wants you to. He doesn't know how to fully commit to it besides your game so he sits up and decides to push the game a little further.

"Is that an issue?" Jason is sitting on the way up, hands now on the bed to hold himself up.

You can't help but notice how cold your thighs are without his hands on them anymore and you’re already wanting to yank his hands back into place. But, instead, you look to his lips and you think maybe this is easier than committing to it. You don't have to talk about it, if something happens. You had to at the tower because Gar was involved, too many people around. It was complicated. It doesn't have to be now because it's just you and him.

You shake your head. "No." Your voice is quiet. You move your hands to his shoulders and you can't breathe. But it always feels cathartic with him. "Issue for you?"

"No." Jason's voice is low and he hasn't stopped looking at your lips.

You can see his chest moving with every breath, as if he can't decide if he should do it so you decide, you'll make the move. You won't chicken out this time because what do you have to lose at this point? You'll leave the door wide open for him and it's up to him what he does with it.

"Nervous?" You ask and you close some of the distance between you.

Jason's heart plummets in his stomach. "Fuck no." His voice is groveled as he swallows thickly glancing to your eyes and his breathing quickens just enough for you to notice.

"Really? Cause you seem a little nervous." You taunt him and Jason looks back to your eyes and his eyes are darken than usual.

He will never let you think he's nervous but he’s also a little worried you can actually hear the thundering in his chest. It’s almost deafening to him.

Jason grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him and he hears you gasp, your grip tightening on his shoulders. "Not a fucking chance, babe."

You see your opening. "Prove it." You bite back without missing a beat. Jason's eyes widen and he swears his heart just stopped beating. "We don't have to do that talking shit after." You rest your forehead against his. "Prove it, Jay." You taunt and Jason can't take it anymore.

Jason grabs your face and slams his lips against yours. You completely melt against him. You slide your hands up his neck and into his hair. You give the strands a light tug, Jason letting out a groan into your mouth. Jason lets himself get lost in your kiss. It's even better than your kiss from before. This is so much better because it's because you both want it and not because he almost died. It's led up to this moment and you don't have to have that talk. There is no feeling of being too exposed or the consequences of your actions. It's him and you. And you taste like a Sunday morning sunrise.

You taste bright and warm and calm. You’re a Sunday morning sunrise. The start of a new week, where nothing else matters from the other seven days. You taste like a fresh start where none of the horrors that took place on a Saturday night could ever matter because he made it to see the sunrise. He made it one more week and one more week next to you. You taste like the feeling of his bed after a long day of patrol. Your mouth moves with his and he swears he feels like he's been given a second chance at this life. You’re warm and comfortable and he thinks he might be able to do this all night if you'll let him He doesn't feel so damaged or broken, he just feels safe and alive.

He's intoxicating in the best possible way. You’re so enthralled by him. He's pretty and smart and funny. He's a smartass and strong, physically and mentally. He's kind with a little bit of a roughness to that kindness. He looks out for people and wants to protect strangers. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of Jason Todd but to you, he is good. He is enough and he is perfectly flawed in a way that makes him perfect. And being with him, makes you feel so alive again.

In that basement, getting tortured, you couldn't remember what it felt like to be alive. To breathe with ease, to not feel endless dread and despair, to not feel numb to everything. You didn't remember what it was like to feel anything besides rage and sadness. But, you meet him and everything that happened to you, matters but in a way that has never made you feel like damaged goods. He sees you at your worst and instead of being mean or cruel, or running, he stays. He reads to you and trains with you. He smirks at you and flirts but never crosses that line because that wouldn't be fair. He accepts you for everything you are today and who you'll be tomorrow. Jason Todd is this bruised masterpiece of a person who deserves far more than he has ever been given.

Jason pulls away, catching his breath and he takes a second to rest his forehead against yours. His hands are still in your hair. A lazy smile dances gently onto his face and his mind is so clear right now. His only thought is you and the way his lips are tingling and his cheeks are aching in a way he wants to feel for the rest of his life. That drug bust today, means nothing because this is the happiest he's been since before Deathstroke. And when his eyes open, you’re barely looking at him, your eyes half-lidded. He's never felt this way about someone. He didn't even think he was capable of it.

"I win." Jason's voice is graveled and raspy as he lifts his forehead from yours, lettings his hands fall from your hair and down your back. But he's careful not to let his hands off you because the idea of letting go entirely almost makes him nauseous.

You narrow your eyes, daunting a smirk. "Did you though?" You quip but your voice is so much softer than usual, it's almost like velvet.

Jason tilts his head to the right, raising his brows. "Told me to prove it and I did so yeah." It's a nervous laugh that leaves his lips.

You nod your head and you don't care what you have to do, but you'll do anything right about now to keep kissing him. "Remember I told you that one day I'd commit to your little game and you wouldn't know what to do?" You laugh softly and Jason deadpans. "You said you would still win because I would cave. Hey, Jay," You vibrate on top of him as a laugh comes through your throat. "You committed to your own game so by your own logic, I just won."

Jason tilts his head forward, touching your forehead for just a second and he's so crazy about you. "You played me!" A laugh rips through Jason's chest as he tilts his head back and you nod quickly.

"Well, to be fair, I didn't think you'd do it." Your cheeks hurt from laughing and you want to play this game. This game is more fun. "I will say though," You let your laugh subside as Jason shakes his head and he can't believe you beat him at his own game. And that's why he likes you. "You were right, that's a win-win."

Jason's chest blooms with your words. "Yeah? And how's that?" Jason smirks at you, playing dumb as he shrugs his shoulders. He wants to hear you say it and you know that's what he's doing by the devious smirk on his face.

"I know what you're doing." Your eyes widen and you tilt your head side to side slightly, mocking him.

"Don't know what the fuck you're talking about." The smirk splits his face this time and he thinks he could do this all night with you. Back and forth, going for it again and then back and forth. Never having that talk that would change things a little too much for right now.

"Okay," You let out a scoff and roll your eyes. You decide you'll go ahead and just say it. The worst that can happen is he'll laugh and then you'll laugh with him. But, the best thing that can happen is that he'll kiss you again. "Because kissing you is kind of sort of fun, I guess."

"Oh, you guess?" Jason mocks you and he thinks the smirk might have nailed itself to his face. His heart is booming and all he can feel right now is absolute joy. "Think it's more than kind of sort of by the look on your face right now."

"Shut up. I don’t have a look!" You defend as you squeeze his shoulders.

"Yeah, ya do, babe.” Jason tilts his head as he glances to your lips and he's just waiting for a good opportunity to go again.

"Shut the fuck up." You lean forward, resting your head on his shoulder and Jason laughs.

For a second, you wonder if this is what it would be like, if you had the talk. You're both terrified of the talk changing things too much and putting too much pressure on this thing you have going. But, you wonder if maybe it wouldn't be so bad and this is what it would like. You'd say you like him and he'd say he likes you, too then tease you about it. And you'd tease him back before kissing him. And maybe it would work. Maybe you'd both be happy...together. But, you brush the thought away because you said you wouldn't have that talk.

You pick your head up after a few seconds and Jason was never this happy in San Francisco. You can see it across his face. It's the way his eyes are crinkled at the corners and the softness that glosses over his sea-green eyes.

"Okay," You suck in a breath. "What are we doing now?" You ask and Jason almost pauses, thinking you want to have the talk you said you wouldn't have to have. "Like, for the night." You clarify.

Jason shrugs and maybe this is kind of nice. His eyes look up as a smirk dances over his lips and he decides to go for it. "More of this?"

He offers it and he's completely serious despite the smirk. It's fun and he likes you, adores you. You’re everything he has ever wanted and never deserved. But, he thinks that committing to it, wholeheartedly with a conversation, is too hard. Too much pressure. This way, it's kind of like you get a trial in it. See how it goes, where it goes. Maybe you can fall into something more by accident. Everything between you this far has been some sort of accident. Accidents seem to work for you.

You narrow your eyes slightly and you can't tell if he's messing with you or not. It doesn't seem like he is but a part of you think he might be. While you might be certain there's more between you, there is that sliver of doubt that you’re imaging it. You like him so much so maybe you’re making it up to fill some part of your ego. Maybe having clarity there would be a lot more painful than you’re willing to admit.

"Hmm." You hum, Jason wiggling his brows at you and he's trying not to let on just how nervous he is for your answer. "You fucking with me?"

Jason lets out a chuckle. "Nope." Jason sucks in a breath that has the slightest quiver.

Jason's hoping you say yes because even though this wouldn't be anything serious or filled of commitment to each other, it would hurt if you said no. He has a lot of self-doubt. He doesn't think he's worthy or deserving. He'll never understand your kindness for him but a part of him, deep down, knows you feel the same way. So, he's hoping against every bad thought he's ever had, you'll be willing to do this by accident with him.

You tap your thumbs against his skin, thinking of how can you can ask for clarity without having that conversation. "So...what? Friends with benefits kind of deal or?" You grin at him and the flush of Jason's cheeks comes right back in full force.

Jason's thumbs are rubbing your sides lightly. "Could be fun." He tries to keep his calm despite the fire that's raging through his chest.

That's enough clarity for you and you think it might actually be a good idea. "Yeah," You let out a soft laugh. "Could be, make the game a bit more fun."

Jason lets out a laugh and it's so easy with you. "Could."

He's feeling a little more nervous, waiting for you to say you’re not about something like that. He's waiting for you to back out of it but he's hoping you don't. Jason knows you like to run when things get too good but maybe this can be good for you, too because friends with benefits is basically a no strings attached thing. Maybe you won't feel like you need to run.

You shakes your head and you think this is good because you fell for him by accident. You’re not exactly sure when it even happened, not for sure, but you know it was an accident. And then you picked him on purpose. So, maybe this will let you both do that, by accident at first and then on purpose.

And maybe you won't run and maybe he won't push. Maybe, just maybe, falling into this on accident and then on purpose, gives you both a chance at survival.

"Okay, Jay." You chew the inside of your cheek. "But it stays between you and me."

"You and me." Jason nods his head, inching closer to you.

You slide your hands from his shoulder to his neck before you close the distance and this time the kiss is softer as you tangle your hands in his hair. Jason lets out a breath as he smiles against you. You are everything he has ever wanted.

Jason deepens the kiss as his entire body erupts into a state of catharsis. You didn't turn this down. You didn't turn him down. He gets to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you again. It's like his days have blurred into one between patrol and nightmares. It's all become a deep dark blur of blues and reds but right now, it's as if everything is coming right back onto focus in perfect color. Nothing else besides you even matters in this exact moment because you pick him, in some way, you’re picking him and maybe he can be worthy of you. Because he has never felt so happy and cared for than he does when you’re with him.

The kiss grows sloppy and hungry, teeth clacking against each other as both of your hands grip for every part of each to bring yourselves closer together. Your hands settle to tangling in his damp hair and he tastes like Friday nights. It's those nights that are filled with neon lights and fireworks late at night on a beach where they are definitely not legal. He's the taste of roasted marshmallows over a warm bonfire and a lemon shakeup from that one booth at a carnival that gets them just right. He tastes like late Friday nights of staying out all night, running purely on adrenaline. He's the graffiti on the side of buildings and rush of getting caught. Jason tastes like freedom.

Jason bites your bottom lip, tugging softly and you groan against him, grinding down against him. You can feel Jason's rock-hard length growing under you and you can't help but grin to yourself.

"Didn't know I get you going so easily, Jay." Your voice is dropping and low against his lips before you kiss him again.

"So, why don't you do something about it?" Jason asks, kissing your lips to your cheek and then to your neck.

Your eyes close as you melt against the soft kisses he leaves behind. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Jason bites down on your neck, sucking a bruise against your skin as you let out a soft moan. Jason grins against your skin. He could listen to you all night.

"Wouldn't be a threat." Jason mutters moving up your neck, coming back to your lips and slamming his against yours.

You slide your hands to his shoulders and push him back against the bed, following the motion down. You kiss down his cheek to his neck and it's your turn to leave a mark this time. You nip at the area, teasing him as he shifts under you. You bite down and sucks a deep purple mark right into his neck. You make sure it's in a spot he can cover...if he wants to. Jason groans under you and you love hearing him. And you decide to just go for it.

You start kissing your way down his chest and Jason feels his stomach flipping while his heart stutters. He watches you, pupils lust blown as you reach his shorts. You tug the band, kissing around his waist as Jason's breath catches in his throat and he flexes his stomach.

"You're a fucking tease." Jason groans and you snicker against his skin.

"You're so needy." You tease kissing up his abs again, staying in the spot as you feel him flex against your lips.

Jason bites down, clenching his jaw. You kiss back down to the waist of his shorts and he ruts his hips up, desperate for you to do something about it. You tug his shorts, Jason helping to pull them down. His cock bounces against his abs once it's released, rock hard and even bigger than you thought it'd be.

You take his length in one hand, giving it a few pumps before licking from the base to his red tip.

"Fuck." Jason groans with the action, his eyes shut.

You take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his shaft. Jason looks down and the sight alone makes him nearly burst. He slams his head back against the bed, tangling his hands in your hair. You take as much of him as you can in your mouth as you fall into a steady rhythm against his cock.

You can hear Jason grunting softly from above you and his hips jerk forward every few seconds. You use your free hand to push his hips down and keep him steady. You lick the very tip, your tongue sliding in the slit as you taste him. Jason lets out a hiss as his stomach churns.

Jason is ready to combust in a million pieces. His head is swimming and spinning. His cock throbs in your mouth. And he can feel himself inching closer, trying to buck his hips into your mouth. His grip on your hair tightens as his breathing quickens. You can feel it, too and you’re not letting him get off that easily. You suck the tip before popping off, Jason swears in through gritted teeth as you smirk up at him. He swears he's getting you back for that.

"You make pretty noises, Jay." You climb back up his body and the smirk you’re wearing makes Jason nearly lose the rest of his sanity.

Jason meets you halfway, sitting up as you straddle his lap. He collides his lips against yours in a desperate and heated kiss. Jason's hands slide to your ass, giving it a squeeze and pulling as close to him as humanly possible. Somehow, it still doesn't feel quite close enough. Jason slides his hands to the hem of your shirt, trying to slide it off but you stop him. Jason pulls away, furrowing his brows. If you don't want to, that's fine. But he's a bit confused by it given your current state.

"Don't make it weird." You say through a heaving breath, your lips kiss-blown.

Jason's chest rises quickly, scanning your face for an answer. "What do you mean?" Jason raises a brow and you're friends, you just gave him a blowjob. He's pretty sure you're passed the weirdness of it all.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you trust him with everything in your being. It's him. It's always going to be him. You’re certain this cute boy with more trauma than an ER is it for you. But, it makes you a little nervous anyway.

"Just...don't make it weird, okay?" You nod once.

"Okay..." Jason nods his head, pulling your shirt up and over your head, a lot more gently than originally intended.

He gets it once he has your shirt off. Jason notices everything. He's very observant and he notices the way you tug the sleeves over your hands when you’re nervous. He didn't know you before so he could never figure out if it was because of the ligature scars or if it were a nervous tick. You don't do it as much around him anymore so he chalked it up to a nervous tick but now he's realizing it's just because you’re comfortable with him. He found the scar on your hip and he swore he didn't care about it and he'd protect you. But, he didn't see it. And now he's getting the full view.

There's a scar from the very edge of your shoulder where your collarbone starts that goes down just above your breast. There's another one hugging your ribcage and then there's the one that hugs your hip. They're harsh reminders of the hell you went through and you wear hoodies usually because at least you’re guarded by more fabric. And Jason can feel rage filter into his blood.

"Jerry?" Jason ask through gritted teeth.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you hate those scars. They're reminders, every single day, they're reminders of what happened. And it's like he won. He didn't, you escaped and lived and he's rotting away. But, then you look in the mirror and it's like he still won because you’re the one still dealing with the scars of it all.

"Like I said, he did all sorts of shit to try and get my powers to show up." You don't feel nearly as ashamed of them as you did early today even. Jason has one from someone he was supposed to trust, too. He has scars. But you feel a little exposed anyway because no one knows. Just him and you. "There's more, too." You hang your head and Jason is not letting you do that to yourself.

"Hey." Jason cups your face, making you look at him. "I don't care." Jason shakes his head. "But I'll kill any fuck that tries to do this shit again to you, alright? I told you, they'll have to go through me."

You offer him a soft smile. "Awfully nice of you, Jay."

Jason offers you a grin. "I can be nice." Jason chuckles. "The scars are hot anyway." His voice drops and that signature smirk of his replaces the grin.

You let out a laugh, your nose scrunching. "So are yours."

Jason slams his lips against yours and he steals the air right from your lungs. You’ve never felt more comfortable being so exposed. He makes you comfortable. He makes you happy. He makes you feel alive again. You can breathe with ease around him. The world is light and airy with him around. He is this flawed perfect piece of graphite and you adore him with every fiber that makes you, you.

Jason undoes your bra, tossing it to the side before moving to your breast, pinching one of your nipples between his fingers. You let a quiet whimper, your hands holding his nick between your hands. Jason doesn't mess around long there before coming back up to your mouth. Jason pushes you back, switching so he's on top. With you flat on your back and your hands tingled in his hair, Jason slides a hand in your shorts, under your underwear. He gains a devious grin.

"You're soaked." His voice is rough and groveled.

You feel your cheeks burn. "So do you something about it." You quips against his lips.

Jason teases your opening before sliding in one finger. He pumps you a few times before sliding in a second finger and using his thumb to circle your clit. You’re unraveling right under him. You try to keep up with kissing him and it's filling Jason's ego. Your entire body is on fire and it's because of him.

He feels you clench around his fingers so he pulls out. You barely let out a frustrated whimper against him, clenching your jaw together.

"Shithead." You hiss against his lips.

"Babe." His voice nearly sends you into a tailspin. “Look who’s needy now.” Jason says in your mouth so you bite his bottom lip. Jason’s arms nearly give out with sensation.

He slides his fingers back in and goes slower this time. You swear he's the biggest tease on the face of the planet. And you wouldn't have him any other way as your head spins and your stomach does a hundred backflips.

"You have a condom?" You manage to ask against his lips.

Jason chuckles against you, sliding his hand away from you. "Course." Jason shifts towards his nightstand, opening it to grab a condom while you get under the blankets, discarding the rest of your clothes.

Jason gets the condom on before sliding under the blankets himself and on top of you. He lines himself up with your entrance before slowly sliding in. You whimper under him as he fills you up. Once he bottoms out, he takes a second to kiss you this time more gently than before allowing you to adjust to him. Then he starts pumping into you with smooth and steady strokes. You’re writhing under him and he want to hear more of you. He grab your thigh with one hand, lifting it up and towards you to give him more leverage and you swear under your breath.

Jason rests his forehead against yours. "Let me hear you." Jason's voice is so groveled you nearly explode right then and there.

You let out a moan, louder this time and Jason thrusts grow sloppier. He thinks he could drown in the sounds of you. You dig your nail into his back, tugging him closer to you. You bite his bottom lip so hard you nearly draw blood and you feel Jason stutter against you.

"Jay." You moan out his name, your nails scratching up his back.

"Shit." Jason hisses, stalling inside of you for a split second. "Keep doing that." Jason picks up his thrusts, quicker and harder this time.

"Jason." Your voice is louder this time, more desperate, your nails digging in deeper. You feel dizzy under him while Jason feels like he's bursting into flames.

"Come on, babe. Cum for me." Jason urges you and he's about to come undone.

"Jay!" You scream out, feeling the rubber band finally snap in your stomach as you shake against him. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and Jason pumps harder and faster into you.

"Fuck." Jason groans, feeling his own rubber band finally snap as he stalls inside of you, the two of you riding out your orgasms together.

Jason rests his forehead against yours with a hearing chest. You open your eyes and Jason's skin is glistening with a sheer layer of sweat and you think he's never looked prettier. You put a hand on his cheek and Jason opens his eyes. They're completely lust-blown and love drunk. Your lips are kiss-blown and you’re daunting the laziest but warmest smile Jason’s ever seen and Jason thinks you look beautiful.

Jason turns his head, kissing the palm of your hand before he rolls off of you, laying beside you. He gets rid of the condom in the trash can beside his bed before looking back at you. Your chest is still heaving but you look happy. Content. And you look back at him, and he looks happy, too.

"Well, that was fun." You let out a soft laugh.

"Have to do this more often." Jason gives you a toothy grin.

"I'm definitely not opposed." You lean over, poking the purple bruise you left him.

Jason's brows shoot up and he kind of thought this would be a one-time thing. "You fucking with me?" Jason asks.

"Nope." You laugh. "Completely serious. Like I said, you needed to get laid." You tease him and a part of you thought it might be a little awkward after because friends don't do that. But, nothing about this feels awkward. It feels, somehow, so normal.

"Fuck you!" Jason's laugh fills the entire room and you can't help the way you beam with the sound.

"I just did." You let out a laugh and there's a prideful smile at your lips. Jason almost grabs you and pulls you for another kiss.

"Round two?" Jason raises.

"Okay, Energizer Bunny, not letting you get too lucky. Fuck knows your ego doesn't need it."

"It definitely does." Jason gives you a fake pout.

You want to kiss the fake pout off his face. "Shtihead." You roll your eyes with a smile that might be permanently glued to your face.

"Babe." There's a softness to the way he says it this time.

You shake your head, turning away from him and leaning over the bed to grab your clothes. Jason watches you as you get dressed, not facing him. He gets a sight of a few more scars across your back, up near your shoulders. He sees these five scars in lines by your shoulders and he knows. He hates that piece of shit more than he hates anyone.

"You staring, Jay?" You ask, not liking Jason being silent.

"He do that, too?" Jason asks and you look over your shoulder at him before picking up his shirt from the floor.

"Mhm." You hums, tossing his shirt over your head.

There is nothing in this world Jason won't do to make sure that never happens again. He is pissed. Furious. Almost wishes he would have let you kill him. Just almost. You’re one of the most incredible people he's ever met. You didn't deserve that shit. You don't deserve those scars and the pain you go through. It's not fair. You deserve better.

"I'm fucking serious, anyone tries any shit with you, they're gonna deal with me." Jason's jaw is clenched and he swears it. No one ever lays a hand on you again.

You grab his shorts, turning back to face him and you’ve never seen that look on his face before. But something about it, brings you comfort. Your mom is the only one who's ever looked out for you like that but that was your mom. That was her job. This is not Jason's and he'll do it anyway.

Jason gains a soft smile looking at you in his shirt. He could get used to that.

You climb back on the bed, resting on your knees as you hand him his shorts. "Same to you, ya know?"

"I don't think I need your help, babe." Jason chuckles, sitting up.

You think it's not about whether he needs the help or not but rather, about knowing someone would do it anyway. And you would, it's not a lie. He's Robin and that's awesome, it's cool, and he's good at it. But he's also Jason Todd. And anyone that hurts him, is gonna have a hell of a bad day when you find out.

"Mhm, I know. But I mean it anyway. You being Robin is great and all, but if someone tries to hurt you as Jason Todd," You poke his chest gently. "They'll have to go through me."

Jason lets out a soft laugh and he can handle himself. But, he also knows you’re serious. He'd protect you from anything and everything and you would do the same for him. No one has ever looked out of him like that. Ever. Not until Bruce anyway. It's always just been him and while he never wants you to do that or expect that of you, his heart warms and he adores you for it.

"And I will melt their faces off." You grin widely at him, flashing your hands as they glow green and Jason lets out a booming laugh.

"How do you do that?" Jason asks, jerking his head up. "I mean, so easily."

You shrug. "I dunno, Dick asked that, too. I can just do it." You open and close your palms, the glowing going in and out with the movement. "Think about it and it happens."

"That's kind of sick." Jason offers you a grin. "Does it hurt?"

"Nope, just warm. I showed Gar, want me to show you?" You offer with ease. Jason's never really asked about your powers. Jus the combat clairvoyance. You got the idea that Jason isn't a fan of the powers thing. You get it, you definitely aren't either. But he doesn't seem bothered now.

"You gonna melt my face off?" Jason quips and he's a bit unsure of it. Rachel tried to kill him.

"Of course not." You chortle. "Who would I have to look at if I melted you?" The sarcasm fills your voice as your eyes widen.

Jason lets out a nervous chuckle, red creeping onto his cheeks. "Alright, show me."

You let your right hand glow, feeling your palm grow warm. You make a fist, making sure your entire palm is covered by your fingers before you rest your fist, fingers against his skin, to his chest. The spot right above Jason's heart grows warm with the touch. It doesn't hurt or burn or even tingle. It's just a warm like a heating pad. There's something incredible about it and the control you have over it. Jason will never fully get the powers thing but this is something he does find interesting and cool. You didn't get the whole cape thing until Jason told you about it, he's wondering if this is what that was like for you.

"See, that's it feels like it for me even when acid is literally dripping from my hands. It gets warmer but you get the idea." You pull your hand away, the glowing fading.

"That's awesome." Jason gushes. "Got your own set of hand warmers."

"Exactly!" You let out a laugh.

Tonight has been fun. It's some of the most fun Jason's hand in quite a while. Between the bust and being here with you, and everything that followed, it's just fun. And he feels free and alive and so genuinely happy. He finds himself not wanting to go to sleep or get ready for bed but not because he's worried about nightmares, but because he doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want you to go to your room.

"Hey," Jason starts. "You wanna sleep in here?" He asks. "I mean, we turn on one of your movies and shit." Jason catches himself, you're still friends.

"That is a very tempting offer." You smirk at him and you were hoping he'd ask you to stay. "Might as well." You shrug before getting off the bed. "I'll be back. Turn on Tangled, Disney Plus."

"You're making me watch a Disney movie after that?" Jason chortles as he gets up to get dressed.

"Yeah, I'm in the mood to watch the lantern scene." You holds your up with confidence.

"I have no idea what that means." Jason shrugs, turning to face you once his shorts are on.

"It's the way Flynn looks at Rapunzel. And then what happens after." You give him a pout and he almost laughs because you’re so serious about it. It's the cutest thing in the world.

"Oh, so it's that serious?" There's sarcasm in his voice but he's still smiling gently at you.

"Jason, she was his new dream, you don't understand." You vibrate as laughter rip through you.

"I still have no fucking idea what that means." Jason laughs with you, looking to the floor and back to you. He wants to keep it going because the way you’re talking about this makes him fall harder for you.

"You'll see. I promise, it's great."

"You've said that about every movie you've made me watch."

"And I've been right about all of them."

"Yeah, okay." Jason lets out a fake huff before he sits back on the bed, reaching for his remote. "Hurry up then or I'll start it without you." Your eyes narrow at him and you open your mouth as Jason tries to beat you to punch. "Shithead."

"Babe." You say his line at the same time he says yours.

"Okay." A chortle escapes his lips. "You're proud of yourself for that one, huh?"

"A little yeah." You give him a cheeky smile, turning on your heels. "Do not," You turn around as you get to the door. "Start without me." You point a finger at him before darting out of the room before Jason can say anything else.

While Jason waits for you, he sits back on his bed, getting comfortable with the movie paused. And all he can think about is how much he likes you. His head swims with every detail about you and he doesn’t even notice the corners of his mouth perking up into an adoring smile. And he thinks about how maybe the manor did feel a little lonely when Bruce would leave him alone but he swears tonight, it doesn’t.

He’s spent a lot of his life feeling lonely. Sure, some of that he brought on himself with pushing everyone as far away from him as he possibly could. But, some of that was just his circumstances. And he’s thinking, just this small part of him, thinks maybe life isn’t supposed to feel lonely. It’s just the only thing he’s ever known. But, he doesn’t feel lonely when he’s with you.

When you come back a few minutes later, you have your gloves on and Jason lets himself smile. He's glad they work, he wasn't sure if they would or not. But clearly, they do. And it's kind of like you have a part of him when you sleep. Not really but kind of. It was his idea. Using the same fibers in his cape for the gloves. It's his thing. You slide into bed with him, resting your head on his now-clothed chest.

"You stole my shirt." Jason says as he slides his arm around you and he thinks you fit perfectly in this spot.

"You have plenty." You state, watching the opening scene with Mother Gothel.

"Oh, so you're gonna steal my clothes now?" Jason chortles as he moves his head to get a look at your face.

"Comfy." You hum against him before looking up at him. You can't tell, but he's never looked at you this way before. His eyes are soft, lacking of any devious plans or intentions. They're just soft and gentle, completely adoring of you. "Do you mind?" You ask and for a second, you worry his does.

He would never mind. And it looks better on you anyway. "No." Jason's voice is soft this time and butterflies explode through your blood. Maybe liking him isn't the right word.

"Good." You snuggle closer to him, while Jason slides his hand under your shirt, rubbing your back gently.

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fanficbarbie · 5 months

Text

❝ therefore i am ❞

A/N: if you want to know what's going on in my personal life, read my past couple posts. i'm not going to go to much into it but i'm back. unedited so ignore any mistakes. i hope yall enjoy. ★ ˙ᵕ˙ liv

─⋆♡ chapter summary: the president’s daughter deals with the aftermath of the club. michael becomes unrecognizable.

─⋆♡ main tropes: Michael B. Jordan x Fem!OC, Rome Flynn x Fem!OC, Damson Idris x Fem!OC. Bodyguard x Princess, Secret Service x First Kid, forced proximity, forbidden love, tolerated enemies to lovers, college romance.

─⋆♡ chapter warnings: angst, 18+ black!writer, language, torture, blood, hostages, fighting, threatening, weapons, physical descriptors (brief), characters affected by symptoms of anxiety or depression, lmk if i missed something.

series masterlist ✰ faceclaims ✰ libby's cabinet ✰ spotify playlist ⋆ word count: 6.4k ⋆

I’m never drinking again.

The pounding in my head makes me feel like a military missel just rocketed itself into my temple. I groan, wincing slightly at the raw sensation in my throat. My eyes flutter open, adjusting to the soft light from the sunrise.

I look at the clock to the right of my nightstand and I am happy to see it’s only 4 a.m. I typically have weekends off from President’s Daughter duty, so I’m grateful for the extra time to sleep in.

I don’t even remember getting up here if I'm honest. Deciding to deal with it later, I slowly shift in the bed. I allow my eyes to close again, flipping to the other side. I sigh, trying to get comfortable when the nausea kicks in.

I inhale a sharp deep breath when I feel a warm hand creeping under my shirt. I moan and melt into the soft circles being rubbed into my back by the physical heating pad. Wait, did I go home with someone?

My body immediately fills with panic thinking about the possibility of a stranger being in my bed. I almost scream when I pry my eyes open and see a sleepy Meredith peering back at me.

My eyes widen and my breathing quickens. I mean, I’m into girls and guys, so it’s plausible we hooked up. “Did we?” I ask, nervous to lift the blankets to see the state of my clothing.

“No,” Meredith sighs, returning her hand to its place on my back.

I groan, shifting in Meredith's hold. “What the fuck happened?” I whisper, burrowing my face deeper into her armpit.

“That prick Teddy roofied you. Apparently, he and Vanessa had a bet. She’s definitely not hanging with us anymore. You don’t remember anything?” Meredith inquires, continuing to rub my back.

I inhale a sharp breath. “No, but I feel fine.” Then, I exhale, pushing on the mattress to sit up. I rub my eyes, attempting to clear the sleep out of them. “How did we get here?” I ask the blonde.

“Michael came to tell us you were leaving and I was ready to be done but Kendall wanted to go hook up with someone,” Meredith pauses and I grimace, attempting to shove the bile down my throat. “Vanessa wanted to stay so I left my guards with them, figuring Michael would keep the two of us safe,” she continues.

I pat the bed for my phone and sure enough, when I find it, it’s dead. “And then, get this. It’s the best part. He made me hold you in position while he shoved his fingers down your throat. You ate a lot tonight, girlie,” the events of the night flow into my eardrums through Meredith’s excellent storytelling.

“Wait,” I pause Meredith mid-story, “He didn’t tell you I was roofied until we were gone?” I ask, quite frankly confused as fuck.

I lift the blankets off of me, sliding out of the bed. Picking up my robe from the footboard bench, I shrug it onto my body. “Mmhm, said something about taking care of it himself,” I hear Meredith murmur.

When the words register, the blood drains from my body. “Oh, no. Mer,” I curse, quietly.

My body slowly turns around in an attempt to keep myself calm. “What?” Meredith tilts her head and asks.

I put my hands out on the duvet in front of me, leaning into the mattress. “Did you tell him about Vanessa and Teddy?” I ask Meredith. Hopefully, she didn’t and Michael is in the next room asleep. If she did, the worst-case scenario is he’s already killed them.

A puzzled look washes over Meredith's face and she looks up at the ceiling as if the answer is up there. “Yeah, he wouldn’t stop asking questions on the way back,” she tells me and my world shatters. “Do you know you snore?” she continues, unphased.

My dinner from last night threatens to come up as I think of what to do. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. What do you do when your Secret Service wants to rightfully kill someone who hurt you? “Mer, he’s an ex fucking mercenary assassin,” I snip.

Meredith's brows kit together and she licks her lips. “What’s that mean?” she wonders.

I look at Mer with a blank expression covering my face. I expected a billionaire's daughter to be a know-it-all. “Meredith, are you serious?” I grill.

Mer puts her hands up in defense. “What? I’m not in college,” she reminds me.

I nod, taking a deep breath and looking down at the crisp blue fabric. “A mercenary is someone paid to fight. Paid to kill,” I sigh.

“So?” I hear Meredith ask.

My hazel eyes connect with hers again. Meredith blinks rapidly, slightly leaning forward with intrigue. “You don’t give an addict the key to the drug lockbox,” I explain.

Mer's eyes squint and I can barely see the sea swimming around her pupils. “Wait you don’t think he’s…” she trails off.

My hand instinctively reaches out and wraps around Meredith's wrist as if she’s one of my little siblings. “Get up. We’re going to find him,” I demand, effectively dragging her out of bed.

Meredith stumbles a bit like a baby deer once her feet are placed on the floor and I start moving quickly, leaving dust in our trail. “Relax, Libby. He’s probably in his room,” she calls behind me.

I fling my bedroom door open, walking us out into the shared living room. “Mer, you gave the trained assassin whose only job is to protect me the coordinates to put a bullet through two people's heads,” I tell her over my shoulder before lifting my hand to knock on Michael’s door.

My knuckles rasp on the old oak wood before I press my ear to the door, listening for any movement. No shuffling is heard behind the door, so I try knocking once more. All I hear is my breathing bouncing off the solid material.

I turn around slowly, wide-eyed and fearful. Meredith seemingly reads my body language and her affect changes to match what I presume mine is. “Oh shit. I did didn’t I?” she asks for clarification.

Brushing past her, I grab my spare robe from the living room closet. “Yes. Now put this on,” I scoff, throwing it towards her chest.

Meredith cringes with shock washing over her face. She hurriedly puts her arms through the sleeves, pulling the fluffy garment on. “What are we going to do?” she panic shouts.

My hands begin to shake and I tuck them into my pockets. “I don’t know! Stop screaming! It’s 4 am!” I bellow.

Tears collect in Mer's eyes and threaten to spill over her lower lid. “You’re screaming back!” she screams.

“Because I’m stressed,” I explain, returning my voice to my normal level. I shut my eyes, taking slow soothing breaths that fill my lungs with the crisp winter air. “Okay, deep breaths. He couldn’t have found them, picked them up, and killed them in two hours,” I rant, trying to stay in my delusional world.

The sound of our bare feet scurrying towards the door echoes off the tile floor. “I think you’re underestimating your man,” I hear Meredith jest under her breath before I pull open my door.

When we exit the hall, the first person I see is a random security guard. He tilts his head and squints his eyes at us before reaching for the inner lining of his suit pocket. “Don’t you fucking dare,” I warn him causing him to freeze.

I slowly creep towards him until we’re standing toe to toe. “I’m just going to my sister's room. You don’t need to tell anyone. Understand?” I flirt, slowly reaching up to grab his hand that’s near his jacket.

His eyes widen and he turns a scarlet red. His palms begin perspiring, effectively moistening my hand. Seemingly speechless, he just nods before I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly. Once his hand is placed back by his side, I release it now that my skin is covered in the man's sweat. Tipping my imaginary hat to him, I link my arm with Meredith who has been standing by, pulling her down the hall.

When we reach the door, I greet the secret service agent outside her door with a smile. Great, another fucking loophole. “Hey, is my sister in there?” I ask as sweetly as possible.

He doesn’t look down at me and Meredith. Instead, he keeps his head focused forward towards the rest of the corridor. “Yes,” the older man deadpans.

I roll my eyes, deciding to forego asking for permission. I’m already here, all I need to do is get into that room and talk to Agent Idris. “Great,” I brush past him, reaching for the door to her common living space.

It’s a lot different than my serene blue castle. The room is covered in a dark plum shade that matches beautifully with her skin tone. Although it may be depressing to look at during your first visit, the hue of the purple sparkles like a gem bringing light into the room.

My sister is a heavy sleeper, so I don’t worry that my knocking will wake her as my hand lifts. I bang on the door like a cop, pausing to listen for shuffling, but I hear nothing. “Agent Idris, are you in there?” I call through the door before reaching for the handle.

I slowly crack the door open in case he’s just sleeping. When I look in the dark and cold room, it’s empty. I swear under my breath, slowly shutting the door behind me. When I turn to face Meredith, she looks dejected.

I grab Meredith's hand pulling her out of the joint sitting room between the two rooms. “That was just our first stop. I figured he’d take him,” I encourage her.

We exit my sister's living area, shutting the large door behind us. “Have a good morning,” I bid the agent goodbye, hoping he won’t speak a word.

He quickly tilts his head down in a moment so quickly, I almost miss it. “You too, Ms. Washington,” he mutters.

My feet nearly stick to the group as we scurry to the next location, Huddy's room. When we get to the door, I repeat the same steps with his night door guard. “Is Hudson awake?” I ask kindly.

This time the man looks down at me and shakes his head. “No,” he answers.

I smile, pulling my lips between my teeth to look mischievous to the man in front of me. “Good. I need to prank him. Can I?” I ask with hope.

He pauses for a moment, looking at his watch before looking back up at me. He seems skeptical, but I’m hoping he buys it. After what feels like forever, he finally mutters, “Sure.”

I mutter a thank you in reply before entering my brother's living area. This time Meredith thinks she knows where she’s going, and she heads straight for the door on the right. I grab her arm, softly pulling her backward. The layout is flipped from both my sister's and mine, so I understand how confusing it could be. It’s covered in red, but none of the reds match. Some are faded while some are bold. It’s like a bachelor pad for a man who doesn’t get any pussy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has navy sheets on his bed right now.

My hand lifts, repeatedly pounding on another agent's door. This time I’m surprised to see Agent Flynn’s face. “What are you doing here?” I ask him.

Agent Flynn leans against the door frame, sleepy wiping his eyes. “What are you doing here? It’s like 4 in the morning,” he grumbles.

Trying to save your friend from making a mistake that’ll land him another 4 years with another president’s bratty daughter. Without me. “I think something’s wrong with Michael,” I sigh.

He reaches in to flick the light on in his room. “What do you mean?” he yawns.

I flinch slightly and my pupils adjust to the change of ambiance. “After the dinner, we went out to the club and I got roofied tonight by some rich kids at the club. He asked Meredith for all their info while I was passed out then dropped us here before taking off with Agent Idris,” I try my best to cover all the information tonight.

His eyes widen, seemingly registering what I’ve said. “Shit,” he swears, turning away from the door to enter the brightly lit room. It’s nice compared to my brother's decor. At least someone has taste. “Shit, why don’t they tell me anything?” he asks, grabbing his phone from his bedside table.

Meredith and I survery the room with curiosity, but neither of us dare to cross the threshold into the space. My attention turns back to Agent Flynn, whose fingers quickly tap the screen before he lifts it to his ear. “Who are you calling?” I question him.

“Damson. Mike’s not answering,” Agent Flynn responds.

My heart quickens and my stomach fills with demonic butterflies. Don’t throw up, Lib. Don’t throw up, Lib. Don’t throw up, Lib. “Do you think they’re,” I prompt Agent Flynn to answer.

Agent Flynn's body tenses, instantly giving his answer away. He looks like he needs a hug. “Yes. You better pray your little friend didn’t just nail a coffin,” he snips.

My stomach continuously bubbles and I scratch my hand with furor. The fuck are we going to do? “Two,” Meredith chirps behind us, correcting the man.

My face mirrors Agent Flynn’s, twisting in confusion. When I turn around, Meredith is standing there unphased by the word she just uttered. “Mer, that’s a little insensitive,” I point out.

Her cheeks turn maroon and she looks down at the floor beneath her. “Sorry, but they deserve it,” she grumbles.

Agent Flynn snickers and I whip my head towards him. He puts his hands up in defense when I narrow my eyes at him. “What? I like her,” he smirks.

I stuff the urge to hit him down into the pits of hell, refocusing on the task at hand. “So where are we going first?” I ask Agent Flynn.

He raises an eyebrow at me. “We?” he asks.

I nod furiously. “Yes, we. How can I trust you’re not going to just let them kill them anyway?” I chastise.

He crosses his arms, standing firmly in place like a statue. “Because, unlike Dammy and Mike, I despise killing people,” he counters.

We stare each other down until a few moments pass. The silence is uncomfortable and it makes me want to squirm, but I won’t be the one to give in. Just when I’m about to say fuck it and go back to bed, Agent Idris groans, “Fine. I don’t have time for this. Let’s go,” he commands me and Meredith to follow him.

We exit Hudson's apartment and into the grand hallway. As we walk by guards, Agent Flynn friendly tips his head up to each of them.“Where are we going?” I ask, barely keeping up after his long stride.

“To find them,” he grumbles, taking a right towards the stairwell.

Meredith increases her pace, able to keep up with Agent Flynn’s due to the length of her legs. “Don’t I need actual shoes?” I ask him, putting my hand on the cool banister as we rush down the first level of stairs.

Agent Flynn looks up at me and his amber-colored eyes sparkle in the dim light. “No, we’re just going downstairs,” he informs us.

We get to my parent’s living area and before opening the door Agent Flynn turns around. He puts his finger up to his lips, motioning for us to be quiet. He quietly turns the nob, opens the door, and sticks his head out before entering the area. Once he’s determined the close is clear, he motions for us to follow him down the next set of steps.

I hold my breath and pray that my clumsy nature doesn’t make an appearance. All that’s heard in the small stairwell is the sound of our feet connecting with the stone steps. Once we get to the entrance hall, Agent Flynn silently greets his coworkers, refusing to haul his quick pace.

Although we’re bolting, I feel like I can breathe. There are only two more flights to go and we haven’t been stopped yet.

We make our way towards the next staircase when Mer asks, “There’s a basement?”

“Yes but,” I begin speaking before realizing, I’m also confused about the concept of the basement. I knew about the Navy Resteraunt and the Secret Service headquarters, but not about anything else that happened down there. And since I’m sure no one else will tell me, Agent Flynn is the perfect person to explain. “Agent Flynn, wait,” I call after him.

“We don’t have time,” he grits between his teeth.

I scurry in front of him, stopping him from walking any further on the ground floor. “Agent Flynn, you will stop right now and explain!” I shout like a baby, crossing my arms and stomping for effect.

He looks down at me and smirks. “Rome,” he states.

My brows furrow and I know I’m going to have wrinkles when I’m 50. “What?” I ask.

He steps around me, heading towards the last staircase. “My name is Rome. If you’re going to yell at me, use my first name. Although I rather you be yelling under different circumstances,” he taunts, jogging down leaving Mer and me in his dust.

Mer looks at me and shrugs before following him. Rolling my eyes, I trail after them. “Michael’s gonna kill you when he hears you said that,” I call down the staircase towards Rome.

“Not when he sees you down there. Then, I’ll be dead,” he corrects.

When we reach the bottom floor, I flinch feeling the cool concrete floor beneath my feet. Rome opens the door for us, motioning for us to walk ahead of him. I’ve never been on this side of the basement. The windowless grey space sucks any life out of the area, as opposed to its warm and wood counterpart.

Meredith and I come to a halt and turn around to face Rome, unsure of where to go. He allows the heavy metal door to shut behind us before he clears his throat. “This is the side of the basement is.. How do you say it?” he asks, scratching the back of his neck.

“A torture house?” Meredith squeaks.

Rome clicks his teeth, pointing at the blonde. “Bingo. Used by the highest clearance. Us, the military,” he elaborates.

“Highest clearance including my mom?” I ask, and Rome’s hazel eyes soften with a nod. “Has she used it yet?” I press on, curious about the state of virginity in the space after the election. I purse my lips, accepting his answer.

“I’m not answering that question,” Rome grumbles before turning his back to us. He leads us down a hall I’ve never been down before. The tight space surrounding us heightens my claustrophobia. My heart starts pounding, so I reach out and grab Mer’s hand for some sort of stability. “You alright?” she asks.

We pass various doors that I don’t dare to ask what’s behind. “Yeah, ’m fine. Just don’t like small spaces,” I confess before we take a right.

At the end of the hall, a huge metal door stands between us and something I’m not sure I’m ready to see. My feet drag while Rome quickly walks the rest of the way, unlocking the door before turning around to face me. “Are you sure you want to go in?”

I lightly throw my hand up in exhaustion. “Yes, Rome. Her friend is in there, for fucks sake,” I point out, gesturing towards Mer.

“Former friend,” Meredith squeaks out before I lightly squeeze her hand. “I mean, best friend,” she attempts to clear up.

Rome looks back and forth at us before clearing his throat. “Libby,” he starts, putting his hand on my shoulder and separating Meredith from me. “When Mike gets like this, he’s like a robot. He turns off his humanity to get to his goal and he only listens to the people he cares about. I’m not sure how he’ll react when he sees you,” he warns.

The ice in my toes spreads throughout my body, creating icicles on my nose. He’s warning you because he could see you, and he could kill you. No, Lib, he wouldn’t do that. I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my robe, pulling it tighter around me. “I’m going to choose to have faith on this one. Now open the door,” I demand, looking up at the towering goofball.

He puts his hands up in surrender before turning and pulling the door open. The room is empty, similar to the rest of the hallway. It lacks anything but a metal chair. I rush forward into the space and just when I think I’ve got the wrong room, I look to my right and gasp.

Agent Idris is leaning against an oak table on one side of the room with his arms crossed. Behind the table sits a sobbing Vanessa. Her black mascara stains her cheeks and she’s practically bursting out of her dress.

She flinches and I turn my head, curious to see what she’s looking at. My jaw drops as I watch Michael land another blow to the brunette man’s face. What was once pristine is now dripping with blood. His hands and feet are tied to a chair and he wiggles, attempting to squirm away from Michael’s fist.

I’ve never seen such vitriol and it’s displayed every time Michael flexes his back muscles to swing. The sight is gruesome, and I close my mouth, attempting not to vomit.

“Oh my god,” I hear Meredith say behind me. The sight is gruesome, and I close my mouth, attempting not to vomit. “I can’t watch,” I hear her add before she shuffles out of the room.

“I’m going to go with her. Make sure she’s alright,” I hear Rome say and I nod before the door closes moments later.

I wave at Vanessa, testing if it’s a two-way mirror. My theory is correct and she doesn’t move a muscle. My attention returns to Michael, who’s now kneeling in front of the man, nodding as the man spits out a few words. He’s interrogating him, but there’s got to be a better way to do this. Especially when the kid’s dad is a billionaire.

There’s a button with what looks like a speaker on top of it on the wall. I let my fingers trail over the cool metal before pressing down on the circle.

Vanessa’s sobs fill the space, flowing through the impossibly small device. There’s a gasp before I look up. A sinister grin takes over Michael’s face as he stalks over to his weapons, covered in blood. Michael has decided to move on to the next best thing, a bat. He grabs the wooden spear from the wall, allowing the tip of it to drag on the floor as he walks back over to my perpetrator.

Time slows as I watch him lift the bat, positioning it to rest on his shoulder. He squares his feet firmly in place; I know now is the time. If I don’t stop him now, he’s going to kill him. “Michael,” I utter and he freezes in place. “It’s me,” I choke out the best I can, but it feels like my throat is on fire.

His eyes squint toward the glass as he lowers his arm, walking closer in my direction. “Lib?” he questions with confusion.

His face twists as if he’s on some faraway planet and my voice is his only map to earth. Tears collect in my eyes, threatening to spill over my bottom lid. “Yes. I’m okay. You can stop,” I try to convince him that the route he’s taking isn’t the best.

His once-focused face turns vacant and he begins shaking his head slowly. The pace of his head increases until he’s shaking it rapidly. “No, no, no,” he murmurs as he begins to pace. “Libby wouldn’t be here. She-she’s asleep,” he stutters, talking to himself.

My head nods, even though subconsciously I know he can’t see me. “I am here, Michael,” I emphasize, trying to find the crack in his brain. “Can I come in?” I ask.

His right hand begins beating the outside of his thigh and I know there will be a bruise tomorrow. It’s almost as if he’s trying to pull himself back into his body. “No, you shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have done this here. You shouldn’t be down here. You shouldn’t see–”

“Michael,” I cut his disorganized ranting off. He stops pacing, turning to face the glass. “You’re my guard, my secret service, mine. Whatever you do I do too, remember?” I emphasize.

We made a deal. If we’re in this shit situation for 4 years, we’re in it together. Meaning, no making things harder on the other person. And this is the definition of making things harder.

Michael’s face begins to soften and my heart slows. I found him, he’s coming back. “No, you don’t understand,” he murmurs, seemingly ashamed of his actions.

I swallow thickly before saying, “I’m coming in,” as a warning before releasing the metal button.

Michael’s muted pleas fall on deaf ears as I move quickly to my left, pulling open the heavy door to the torture chamber. He’s in front of me in seconds, and the sight of his blood-stained front makes me nauseous.

“I don’t want you seeing this,” he coldly grits through his teeth. His body tenses, shielding me from the sight behind me.

Those weren’t the terms of our deal, fucker. “Oh, so you were bold enough to do it but not in front of me?” I grill.

He inhales a sharp breath, bringing his nondominant hand up to scratch his scruff. “That’s not what I mean. You just got drugged and no girl should see this,” he explains before his eyes wander down to my feet. “Damn it, Lib. You don’t have any shoes on and you’re fucking naked,” he snips.

My hands go down to my robe, gathering the fabric and adjusting it. “I’m not naked and I’m fine. Best sleep of my life,” I express, crossing my arms in from of my chest and attempting to shield my undoubtedly hard nipples from him.

He rolls his eyes, stepping out of the way to bring Damson and Vanessa into view. “Did you guys get what you needed?” I ask the guard.

He nods, standing from his relaxed position on the table. “They sang like a canary in the first 5 minutes. Trying to get some pictures of you in a compromising position to sell to the blogs,” he recalls.

I raise my eyebrow at the man. “So you let Michael beat this man within an inch of his life?” I question him, voice laced with annoyance.

Damson shrugs, unphased. “What? It was fun,” he chuckles.

Rome enters the room, startling me a bit before I return my focus to Damson. Shaking my head at his antics, I open my mouth to scold him when Vanessa cuts in, “I’m sorry, Libby. I–”

“Shut the fuck up,” I spit in her face, effectively shutting her up. I bend down slightly so we’re on the same level. I want to make sure she understands every word I’m saying. “You don’t get to call me that. Matter of fact, don’t even speak. You’re not in the position to,” I fume in her direction.

Rome whistles before murmuring, “Damn.”

Vanessa sniffs, unable to wipe the snot since she’s bound to the chair. I revel in her this way. Thinking she could fuck me over. Karma is a bitch. “Stupid cunt,” I grumble.

I turn around to face the three men, deciding it’s best to pretend she’s not there so I don’t get worked up. Michael silently surveys my face and my brows knit on my forehead. Why is he looking at me like that?

Rome clears his throat before asking, “What do you want to do?”

What do I want to do? It’s not like killing them would go off without a hitch. Both of their parents are very prominent figures. The best thing to do now is to use them as an example.

Hell, Teddy’s almost dead and I’ll just act like I don’t know her when people ask. She’ll fade to black and I’m sure the message will be well received all over the city. “Let them go,” I command.

Damson kisses his teeth and his upper body curls. He looks dejected that he couldn’t press on. “But we were just getting to the good part,” he groans.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Is he complaining about not being about to kill someone? “And you’ll get your good part if they ever try this again,” I placate.

I nod at Rome, signaling for him to untie Vanessa. I watch as he swiftly unties each notch in the knot. Each rope falls to the ground one by one until she’s standing from her prison. “Thank you so much, Liberty. I’m really sorry, again,” she professes.

I scoff at her fakeness. She’s never liked me and she's only pretending to for her mortality. “I’m only letting you go because I’m not a woman hater. Take this as a warning. You tried, but you failed. Try again, I won’t stop them next time. I will let them kill you, Vanessa,” I promise her.

She nods before slipping back on her club heels. She looks at me, awaiting her next instructions. “Meredith can probably take you home. You have to talk to her now too,” I gesture towards the door, beckoning her to leave.

She nods, allowing her gaze to fall to the floor before she scurries out of the room. I reach into my robe pocket, quickly texting Meredith an update so she has a full grasp on the situation, although she’s probably standing right behind the glass pane.

I’m highly aware that this is a strange place to start a friendship, but maybe it’s the start of something long-lasting. “What about him?” Rome asks, pointing to the barely human face crumpled over in the metal chair.

“Call clean up and have them take care of it. It’s almost 6,” Michael instructs before grabbing the bottom of his blood-soaked shirt. He seamlessly lifts it over his head, showing his perfectly sculpted physique. His abs could easily handle a week's worth of my laundry, irritating the stains from the fabric.

He pulls the top from his body, allowing it to fall to the floor. I’m rendered speechless, feeling it inappropriate to drool in a situation like this. Damson seemingly notices me staring and he clears his throat, causing my eyes to shoot up to the light in the ceiling.

I spin on my heels, unsure of what to do. Once we leave this room, we’re not going to be able to discuss this. There are mics and cameras in every room but the bathroom. I know some camera angles have changed to give me some privacy, but every entrance and exit is being recorded. No one moves in The White House without the Secret Service knowing.

I almost jump when I feel a hand on the small of my back, being brought back to reality. My eyes connect with Michael’s when I lower my head and his once black irises have returned to brown. “You need more sleep,” he simply states.

I nod, unsure of what to say to the boys. A cheery goodbye doesn’t necessarily mesh well with social norms. Michael doesn’t allow me to deliberate, lightly pushing me forward towards the door.

I conceded, turning the need to think off by following his lead. He opens the door for us, ushering us through the entryway. As we walk through the empty viewing room, I look to the left one last time at the scarlet scene. My stomach gurgles, and I snap my eyes to the floor. “You sure you okay?” Michael asks, opening the next door for me.

In the grand scheme of things, I feel fine. But if I say that after being through a traumatic situation, he’s going to lock me up and throw away the key. “I’m more concerned about you,” I disclose genuinely as we walk down the hall.

He shrugs, seemingly unaffected by his actions. “I’m fine. This is what I do,” he grumbles.

“Used to do,” I correct.

“It’s my job,” he argues and I remind him why I hate him sometimes. It’s like talking to a child.

“I don’t think revenge killing was in the position description,”

The walk back up to our apartment feels like it takes forever. The winding staircases and onlookers dare to swallow me whole. I’m not sure a barefoot and clotheless president's daughter with her shirtless Secret Service agent paints the best picture.

My endless suggestions that Michael at least be checked out by the nurse fall on deaf ears. So when we enter the living room of the apartment, I point at the couch commanding him, “Sit.”

He raises his eyebrow at me but doesn’t make any moves to put his bottom on the cushion. “If you’re not going to let me take you to the infirmary, you’re going to let me clean you up,” I explain.

His eyes search mine for deception and I sigh, annoyed with the consistency of this game. “Fine,” he finally gives in, moving to take a seat on the couch.

I leave the room to retrieve the first aid kit from the bathroom, filling a cup by the sink with warm water so I can rinse his hands. When I get back, Michael is patiently waiting for my return, anxiously flexing both his hands.

Taking a seat next to him, I bring his hand into my lap to calm his fidgeting. “Stop doing that. You’ll keep opening and breaking the skin,” I worry.

“I was trying to see if it was broken,” he counters and suddenly I feel like an idiot.

“Oh,” I mumble, twisting his wrist to examine his hand. “Is it?” I ask.

He shakes his head, slinking down into the couch cushions with a sigh. He looks exhausted. Large brown circles darken the spot beneath his eye and I feel a pang in my chest. “No, probably a hairline fracture,” he speculates and I can tell he’s trying to ease my anxiety.

I pick up the washcloth, dipping it into the cup of water. We sit in silence for a few moments until he winces. Something’s wrong with his hand and he fucked it up because of me.

I quickly clean the rest of his hand, eager to rid the thick sexual tension between us. This is the longest he’s ever touched me and it intensifies the fire in between my thighs. Not right now, Libby. You’re bandaging his hand. “You’ll see the doctor when we wake up,” I demand once we’re finished.

Snapping the first aid kit shut, I scoop the remnants of the bandage wrappers up with my hand. “We?” I hear Michael's question.

I nod, having already made my decision. I just need to stick to it. “Yes, we. You haven’t slept in like 24 hours,” I point out before standing from the couch.

I toss the trash into the pale blue bin on the other side of the room. “I’m fine,” Michael reassures.

“Yeah right,” I scoff before going into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I make sure to wash my hands before relieving myself one last time for the night. Once my hands are scrubbed once more, I apply some vanilla lotion to keep them from drying out.

When I exit the bathroom, Michael hasn’t moved from the couch. He watches me cross the room over to my door with laser focus. “Come on,” I beckon him to join me.

He shakes his head and his body becomes cement. “I’m not sleeping in the bed with you,” he objects.

I roll my eyes at his combativeness and part my lips to say, “I’m not asking you to sleep. But I can’t trust that you won't just leave again.” and kill someone.

He shakes his head but he still doesn’t make a move. Fuck, what do I have to do to get you in my bed? It shouldn’t be this hard. “I wouldn’t,” he reiterates.

“Then come, for me. Call it suicide watch,” I rephrase, hoping it’ll do the trick.

The tick of the clock fills the room and several seconds go by before a glimmer of interest sparkles in his eyes. “Fine,” he concedes, standing from the couch.

He crosses the living area until he’s standing just inside my bedroom door. I shut the door behind us, locking the door just in case Jo didn’t get the memo to not wake me up early this morning.

In the soft light of the early morning room, I shed my robe and Michael sheds his pants. Grabbing a scrunchy from my vanity, I attempt to tie my unruly hair back up underneath my bonnet. When I turn around, Michael stands by the side of my bed patiently waiting for me. He holds the corner of the duvet up for me to climb in.

Once I’m hugged by my warm vanilla fragrance, I watch as he walks over to the other side of the bed, replacing Meredith for the night.

My eyes blink rapidly at him, trying to adjust through the night. “Go to sleep, my lady,” he chides.

Not having any energy to argue, I sigh, turning my body away from him and allowing myself to get comfortable in my bed. As soon as I’m settled, my body begins to give in to the exhaustion of the night’s activities.

I begin to doze off before I feel Michael’s hand snake up my side. I hum at his warm touch, scooting back into his body. “Stay, please,” I request in a daze.

“Okay,” I hear him husk before sleep envelopes me.

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