#I'll go find it myself I guess

[musicalchaos07]

It is 12PM on Friday why have I not seen the post?

#Like did we stop doing fuck him on the floor friday????? #I'm concerned #I'll go find it myself I guess #stranger things #stonathan

[ashh-tree]

aro/ace themed valentine's day teddy bears ^^ because i just recently found out i might be arospec but also just cuz like..... why not

#this may be out of character for me because just a few weeks ago i strongly disliked valentine's day lmao #now that i know im probably some kinda flavor of aro? i.. dunno how to feel #how i feel about the holiday is complicated #while i still dont like the romantic aspect of it.. at least i dont find myself rolling my eyes at valentine's themed stuff as much anymore #idk maybe i'll go back to disliking the holiday next year who knows lol #i guess its just the catharsis i suppose.. #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #arospec #lgbtq #valentine's day #valentine's #teddy bear #digital art #art #ashton draws things

[eveningrainstorm]

assorted psychonauts doodles

a close-up of this one, because i think it might actually be my favorite:

#still getting the hang of drawing them... i'm trying to find a good balance between the games' style and my own #i tried drawing them more in my usual style but i didn't like how they came out #and i have been wanting to branch out more with my art style so this is a good excuse to do that i guess #it's been fun! except for that one sketch of dogen. why does he have no legs i hate this #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #my art #guess what i'm actually going to attempt to tag everyone. because i hate myself #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #milla vodello #sasha nein #gisu nariman #<- my understanding is that that's what the art book confirmed? but since most people haven't heard yet i'll also tag #gisu nerumen #lizzie natividad #adam joseph gette #norma natividad #morris martinez #sam boole #frazie aquato #dogen boole

[rillils]

‘all my favourite ships have:’

stucky + this post

#stucky #stevebucky #i did a thing?? #just to soothe myself from the holidays-induced overstimulation #i'll be so glad when it's over ahgsjkdhaskdj #meanwhile #in this limbo in between christmas and new years #please have this :3 #idk how to tag this so i can find it back sjdhskjd #uhhhhhh #mine #................now i'm second-guessing myself #has this specific thing been done before???????????????????? #i don't know anymore ;___; #imma go to bed

[literalnobody]

The frustration of KNOWING there is media out there with the very specific tone you want to write into your own stories and wanting to consume that media for inspiration/immersion/the joy of experiencing art on the same wavelength as your own but not being able to FIND it

#trying to distract myself but out of video games i enjoy and cant seem to find any books or movies or shows in the tonal bracket i seek #so I'm like. well. guess I'll open a new screenplay doc and see what comes out #but wanting to study another screenplay for flavour. for zest. to get the neurons firing or whatever #but cannot find anything with the tone i'm going for. but I know no art is unique so this tone is out there SOMEWHERE GODDAMMIT #1950s satanic cult horror but with a small town community vibe adjacent to Tremors or Black Spot #but with an ensemble cast who. while they have tensions generally like one another and have complimentary goals #but are also obstacles on small interpersonal fronts #and also with a sexy demon love interest #come on guys where is this media??? i am gnawing on table legs i am going to find it somewhere #where is the horror with levity and an underlying sense of love and community #DONT SUGGEST STRANGER THINGS. dont even think about it

[naamahdarling]

.

#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months #i don't even remember the names of them all at this point #this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay #thst will also prescribe my adhd meds #and my anxiety meds #and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would #only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it #so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave #and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something #but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works #but that they morally object to i guess #and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like #what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that #I'll give her a nasty scrap about it #im not interested in those meds at all #and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best #and removing that would just make me worse #but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that #and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow #which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you #if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers #they just gotta pathologize! #so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever #i shouldn't have to deal with this

[emelinstriker]

mmmnnother idea too

#sneak peek #hyperfixation says esau cast in dnd style- but i don't think i'll do em the way i did nezha's doodle cuz that was a horrible way of shading #at least for me personally KEKW- #emelin rambles #to bed i go #i wanna try sleepin early for once #also i find it funny how as a dental tech i know why my jaw is hurting rn #muscle stress would be my guess cuz it's just the side of my jaw around the area of my left mandibular condyle #so i'm currently tryna force myself to physically relax more to try get rid of it quicker cuz it's annoying when tryna eat at times #also i was at an info meeting about a study some university students wanna do with autists regarding noise cancelling headphones #was hilarious considering i immediately began to critique the way the meeting went by telling my psychologist about #how they had the audacity to give a full group of diagnosed autists the OPTION to pick between showing up on a monday or tuesday #cuz we were all fuckin confused and one girl even had to ask like 2-3 times about how tf this would work and when we're supposed to come in #like how dare you tell us we can pick a day- that sparked so much lowkey panic and i could tell by the confusion of all- including myself #just give us a solid day DHFNDFHNDHFGNHDGH

[sherlock-is-ace]

the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.

Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho

#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and #either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs) #and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me #but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis #where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom #and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal'' #or play them as less important than they were #or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal! #things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine #idk if she'll be able to talk about all those #because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive #my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have #and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend #and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it #i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom #and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me #but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that) #like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis #not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think #so like it's not relevant #but i am anxious about it nonetheless #angel talks #personal #idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void #dkfjhgdfg

[qrevo]

uh can someone. threaten to beat me with a large rock. if i don't finish up my uni work in time. really needing that "fighting for my life" energy to finish these up lol

#i hate html #i hate css #i hate javascript #and the professor DIDN'T ALLOW US to use ANY framework #WHO DOESN'T USE FRAMEWORKS FOR FRONT-END CODING THESE DAYS #i feel like i'm writing with coal in a cave wall #i wish i was learning flutter to code stuff i'm interested in #or messing with databases (i love databases so much) #but noo the professor wants me to suffer i guess #i hate computer science (affectionate) (but i hate frontend coding for real) #the day i die i'll go straight to hell and find Mr. John Javascript myself and teach him a lesson #qrevo.txt

[kozidraws]

.

#gonna ramble about irl here so people don't have to read it unless they want to #so because I got covid and couldn’t leave my bed I've essentially lost my job #I've told my manager I'm okay to go back to work #even if my body is still sore #but she's only given me a 3 hour shift a week #and you guessed it! #it's the late shift #the one where it takes me almost 2 hours to get home from #she's being so petty with me #and I am so behind in rent #I've applied for government assistance and I have a meeting with them tomorrow #I really hope they can help because I feel awful #I'm also annoyed at myself because I can't find my knee brace ANYWHERE #I thought I could find one for around $10 but nope! #the closest stores selling them are like $25+ so that's fun #I don't know when I'll be able to draw again #I'm so stressed again about money and secueing work #hopefully once I can get govt assistance at least I can enjoy life again #also I tried to ask the zine that still owes me money if they could finally send payment but they still keep delaying it with excuses #I'm so desperate it's shameful

[amethystina]

Wait wait wait you just watched Marry My Dead Body?!?? I need to commiserate then holy shit. I watched it yesterday because I was travelling and also figured it be a fun goofy film to watch while stuck in transit for hours and then suddenly it was over and I was sitting there in goddamn TEARS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO BE SO EMOTIONAL. IT MADE ME LAUGH AND THEN ALSO STABBED ME IN THE HEART. I feel like it played me for a fool, but in the best possible way. What a good ride it is :’)

OH MY GOD SAME.

Well, except I was at home and went: "I'll watch this before going to bed, I'm sure it'll be a fun time" and, I mean, it WAS but it also wasn't. Like, after I finished it I just sat there, not knowing how to contain all the emotions I was experiencing. How the fuck was I supposed to sleep after something like that?

I genuinely had no idea what to do with myself (I still kind of don't tbh). I did NOT expect to cry as much as I did. Quite a few things can make me cry but this just hit me right where it hurts. And I didn't expect it, in any way, shape, or form. I was completely unprepared.

It was supposed to be a silly comedy!

But, like, for real? The "my husband" moment? You should have HEARD the fucking noise I made. It was guttural. I was fucking obliterated.

(and oh man, I so desperately want to make people feel that way with my writing. I am so, so inspired!)

Long story short, I'm emotionally compromised and I have absolutely no regrets. I just love, love, love becoming this invested in a story and I'm still neck-deep in feels. It's been two days already but my thoughts just keep returning to this movie, time and time again.

So I'm guessing I'm going to rewatch it in a day or two x'D

#Amethystina Replies #wolfandrain #Marry My Dead Body #This won't be something I write a fanfic for tho #I don't have anything to add #Like I genuinely can't think of anything to write because I'm afraid of ruining my current feelings for this movie #I want to leave it just the way it is #So I guess I'll have to find and outlet somewhere else #And considering the level of emotion I'm itching to convey? #Time to get back to Who Holds the Devil I guess #Since that's the only story I have right now which is intense enough #I am going to wreck some shit up #Which was planned all along by the way #I usually take a break after a big emotional climax #But I actually did the opposite this time #I paused because I needed to brace myself for what's to come x'D #So I apologise in advance I guess #This will hurt

[spaghett-onaplate]

sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳

#woohoo!! #some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy #some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice #honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out #but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans) #so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to-- #--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them?? #so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha #works in a situation like high school tbh #ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus #o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week #(recess is first and lunch is sceond) #i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice #mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow #'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim #and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch #so wahoo yippee :D #now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)

[lakesbian]

some of the shit i see you guys saying about ward has me feeling like the saddest parahumans character deaths r not actually anything that happens in worm but the character assassinations going on in ward

#going to reply to someones tags with 'hey thats not true that totally impacted aisha' and then finding out they are for real referencing how #shes written in ward & not making shit up about worm. like ok i'll go fuck myself i guess sorry wildbow did that to you aisha

[sonego]

wikihow to be normal about tennis players

#i literally spent all afternoon making a gifset #i'll let you guys guess which two idiots are involved #(you'll find out soon i'm about to post it) #i literally feel insane i hadn't made something like this in ages and OF COURSE it had to be them who reignited the spark* #*made me try to do typography and shit and fight photoshop bc i don't remember how to do any of that #anyway i've had an intense afternoon and it was literally just me going insane over tennis by myself . normal behavior #nico.txt

[rubiesintherough]

.

#(( ooc. )) #venting tw #negativity tw #i know ive been bitching about this a lot lately but just let a girl vent pls #husband just got home and said 'you look tired you should go lie down ' #and i told him i cant. i have too much housework to do. 'well lay down after that ' #cant. because then i have more housework after that. #and he got all huffy at me like i was being dramatic #and he said 'how am i supposed to snuggle up with you if you arent laying down? c #and i shot back ' who's going to do the housework if i dont ' #and he rolled his eyes. straight up rolled his eyes. #this is the man that is constantly telling me to just ask him for more help. just make a list #yelled at me and stormed out of the house whej i told him to pls just use his eyes #bc i dont have time to make him a list of chores #and also the man who if i do ask him to do smth it doesnt get done #examples just from today. he was heading into town and i asked him to please bring the recycling with him. he didnt. #he yells at me for doing the cat litter bc its bad for my asthma. but then leaves it until its bad enough i have to do it #bc its unfair to the cats to expect them to use a litter box that bad. and then he gets mad at me for not just asking him to do it #like. its in the bathroom. right next to the toilet. he has to look at it when hes taking a shit every day. and youre telling me #he doesnt notice it? i have to remind him??? #and then i get yelled at and reprimanded for just doing it myself #' ASK FOR HELP DAMMIT! ' #i do. i do all the fucking time. i ask you to empty the garbage bc bending over makes my back scream. but you dont #and i have to power through and do it. #i ask you to bring the recycling into town to drop off. and as soon as you leave i find out you didnt even gather it up. #i ask you to please clear out the bathtub drain. for two weeks. and you brush it off until the day i decide to #do it myself and you get so passive aggressive about it and ' no ILL DO IT. the tool is back in my mom's room #guess I'll just go WAKE HER UP FROM HER NAP so i can grab it since you need it done! ' #im so tired of asking and then just being disappointed anyway. #if im gonna get yelled at anyway id rather just do it all myself so at least its done. and not sit there and beg for help and do it anyway

[lemorgochan]

i was really surprised to read in your previous post that you were only a teenager when you made your old animatics, because the skill level is insanely high! i am so excited to continue watching your artwork develop from hereon out. if you don’t mind me asking, i am just curious, about how old are you now, and are you doing well? do you feel happy with how your art is changing and growing? sorry if these are weird questions! i am just happy to see you posting here more again, as your art is very inspiring!

haha yeah i was a teenager that had enough energy and time to make animatic in 2-3 days with very little amount of sleep Currently im 20. i don't really put my age anywhere because i don't think it really matters (and i also always get jumpscared by people with godtier skill that are like 16, so i don't really want to possibly be that kind of screamer to other people) And yeah i'm happy with where i'm going with my art! There is a lot of things i should keep improving ofc, but i think i'm doing good and i like what i'm doing. I'm a little bit sad that i stopped making those kinds of mvs-animatics, but i guess i just have different views and tastes now, so i never get any ideas for these kinds of things. I also feel like i was more popular back then and now i'm a little bit forgotten. But given how i moved or deleted some accounts and also don't draw/animate for popular fandoms and rather focus on OC+school+niche fds, it's not that surprising that my things rarely blow up.

And thank you for all the kind words!! im very happy to be your inspiration <3

#answ #it feels really weird when so many people praise you for what you did in your teens #but (kinda feels like) less people are touched by your present works #as if i should have stayed there and took some wrong path #but i like that path so not my problem not everyone enjoys it i guess #i just think that i should keep going and creating more and i'll find my audience #maybe im a bit delusional there #kinda bad at promoting myself and some things irl make it even harder