#I'm not here for discourse and I won't respond to any

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi FAQ

Before you send an ask consider checking this FAQ! I'm trying to compile some of the most common questions I see in my notes and inbox. Feel free to send me an ask anyway if you find anything confusing!

But first just some things about asks... I read all of them and feel kinda bad when I don't respond but I can't really respond to everything so:

Most likely will respond:

Requests for sources/images

Requests for links to other posts

Questions about the story or characters (as long as they haven't been repeated in a short while)

Questions about my opinion on canon content/speculation based on canon

Most likely won't respond: (usually cause idk what to say to it)

Headcanons/Shipping

Jokes

Discourse/Rants

Questions that have been repeated in a short time

FAQ under the cut (there's spoilers)

FAQ

First of all just a disclaimer that I don't actually know everything I try to put sources on the posts but if you see anything wrong here please let me know!

Q: Where is this extra/information from?

A: Dungeon Meshi has several worldbuilding details and extra comics in different publications. You can check this post with the places where the extras/information sources

If you wanna know the source for a specific extra don't be afraid to ask!

Q: Have you ever posted about [subject]

A: I haven't posted about everything related to dungeon meshi but please check my pinned post! I have a list of tags there, if you don't find specifically what you were looking try to search for it on my blog, I do my best to tag stuff so it can be found. If you still have trouble just send me an ask and I can link you the tag!

Q: How old is Thistle?

A: Who knows! Mostly likely he's under 80 (16 in tallmen years) my best guess is that he's 14.

Q: Isn't Izutsumi a cat that was transformed into a human?

A: That's not a very accurate description, Izutsumi is a beastkin who was created using ancient magic by fusing the soul of a 6 year old child with the soul of a cat monster known as a greater cat. She's not "A cat that was turned into a human" nor a "human that was turned into a cat" as my understanding goes she was both and now she's still both, spoilers but the plot twist of the Lycion extra is that she can never be fully human again (there's more monster than human so she can't transform between the forms like Lycion)

I made a few posts about it

Q: Are fairies made of Jizz? How do females make them? How come Mithrun's doesn't look like him? Can other races make them?

A: Yes. They probably borrow some. Another person feeds it blood. Probably? For better answers please check the fairy tag LOL

Q: Are there monsters outside dungeons?

A: All points to yes, dungeons just seem to have a higher density of mana which allows more monsters to survive in a higher population.

Q: Is resurrection possibly in any dungeons or only in The Island?

A: According to the adventurer's bibles most man-made dungeons have the revival magic active. Here's a post all about resurrection and healing magic:

Q: Why did Fleki get brain damage when her Familiar got destroyed and Marcille didn't?

A: Probably has something to do with the complexity of the familiar and the strength of the connection, lots of people sent some theories pleas check the familiars tag if you wanna read up.

Q: What does the tattoos mean? What do Magic Tattoos do? Only beastmen have tattoos?

A: Those are Magic Tattoos, they work as a supplement for magic, I assume similar to magic circles or magic runes they use in other places in the anime, they aren't necessarily only for beastmen

Q: How does Mana/The Winged Lion/Dungeons work? (and related questions)

A: I made a post about dungeons you might wanna check, haven't done specific posts for the greater demon/winged lion but you can check the tags for some theories/other asks!

I think that's it for now? I'll add more things later if I see more common questions

Mini FAQ about the person running this blog (cause I get a couple of questions sometimes)

Q: Whats your pronouns? Are you brazilian? What do I call you?

A: There's a tiny about me section at the end of my pinned post I'd rather you use she/her or he/him, but they/them is fine, I'm very brazilian and you can call me whatever, Cyan is just a suggestion. You can also check this side blog, it's me

Q: What do you think about [headcanon]/[ship]

A: I probably think it's neat but cant elaborate cause either I'm being socially anxious or I'm afraid of saying something that will generate discourse on my notes LOL

Q: Could you tag [thing]

A: Yes! Please tell me if you'd like me to tag something, both cws or just something you think would be useful to search for. I'm very unaware of what can be upsetting ngl so I often forget to tag 'obvious' triggers, I'm also forgetful and have trouble expressing myself, so feel free to tell me if I said something weird but be nice pwease

#FAQ #dunmeshistash #long post

[izziessogay]

More tenderness for transness

I have something to say about how transness is being dealt with lately. There has been a lot of controversy, but I ask you to put your pitchforks down for a moment and listen:

Transness is delicate like all forms of queerness. And recently we have allowed queer sexuality more freedom and space than queer gender. We’ve realized that labels are often restricting and don’t always allow us to view a full queer perspective. We realized that our mothers are sometimes really bisexual, our grandpas a little gay and our darling historic icons always a bit queer. We also realized that that’s totally okay and that it is in no way harmful to recognize queerness in our elders or peers even if they themselves have not recognised it. It isn’t meant to label, it’s meant to understand eachother and eachother’s experiences.

So tell me, why do I get shocked looks from my queer peers whenever I mention that my father is transfeminine. The guy who would kill and die for Janis Joplin, the guy who cried when the military cut his long hair and who hasn’t cut it in the almost 40 years since then? Why is that outrageous? Why is it outrageous to recognise transness in people who haven’t explicitly stated their exact gender identity?

Finding and seeing eachother has always been crucial to queer survival. To this day it is often still not safe nor desirable to announce your identity freely, especially for trans(feminine) people. On top of that trans spaces are still hidden and not easily accessible for anybody (for good reason). So it takes an invitation. Someone to know you before you know yourself.

I do not like the language we use when it comes to spotting our own kind. Both clocking and egg cracking seem out of place for the gentle way that we see our own mannerisms, behaviours and struggles reflected in a complete stranger. It sometimes happens in such subtlety that we ourselves don’t notice it: remember that friendgroup in school that started out as fully straight, but by the time you graduated everybody ended up being queer? What about flocking to queer artists and music (Take Me To Church had an impact on so many of us before we even knew what it stood for)? What about the lesbian aunt that we felt a strange connection to? We’ve always known how to find eachother, and it has never been malicious.

It is no crime to recognise your own self and your community in someone, even if they are a complete stranger, even if they don’t consciously recognise it themselves and even if they have already passed. To conflate this gentle and harmless practice with the misogynistic trope of the crazy fetishising (cishet) fangirl that will go to the point of obsession, harassment and stalking of someone to “prove�� their queerness seems out of place and quite conservative. We as queer people cannot forget that we all suffer from queerphobia and applying a conservative rhetoric to the queer people we don’t like/understand won’t save us from said queerphobia. It’s not evil to treat transness and its spectrum delicately. It is not evil to assume someone’s queer gender. In many cases it will even be helpful to them, with discovering themselves, finding answers to their struggles, integrating into a community and many other things. And even if none of that applies, it helps us understand them better and see their lives through a lens that isn’t often graced by sunlight.

Lastly, I want you to ask yourself one thing: Who truly gets harmed if a cis person is called trans (in a non-harassing way and without pressure to come out)? In my opinion it is not trans people and definitely not cis people.

#I'm not here for discourse and I won't respond to any #I'm open for genuine discussions obviously #queer #trans #queer community #transness #queerness #lesbian #gay #bi #lgbtq

[homunculus-argument]

I stay out of Discourse because tumblr is the place I go to chill and have a good time, and fighting people about shit only one of us knows anything about isn't it. But if it's brought to my doorstep, I might as well give you my two cents about tumblr discourse in general.

The first thing is that tumblr is a lawless, unmoderated wasteland. This means that you can say whatever the fuck you want, but also that anyone can respond by doing the same. And you can't stop them from doing that. If some complete stranger tells you to kill yourself, you have neither the power nor the duty to make them stop hating you. The way to make it stop is to just block them.

That being said, Words Are Not Toys. Don't just randomly throw them at people without being sure you know what you're talking about. People will throw words right back at you if they don't like you. Double-check if you were right beforehand, so you've got the receipts ready when (not if, but when) you get attacked by someone who can't fucking read and got offended by what they thought you said.

Anon hate swarms are annoying but mostly harmless, people who don't know you wishing you dead aren't anywhere closer to making that happen, they're just strangers seething in their homes about shit that doesn't impact them in any way. Just delete that shit. Nonetheless, it can get bad. I don't sic people on anyone, but I could not "call them off" any more than someone who does. I don't control the horde and neither do you. Best not fuck with it at all.

People here are mostly adults, and will assume that you are one, too. And sometimes adults are mean. You can't just roll over and go "oh noo, I'm just a baby, I don't know anything and you can't get mad at me uwu" after calling someone a genocidal facist with no other source than your own vibes about a post you misunderstood because you can't fucking read. Being 15 goes both ways, you can't expect people to take you seriously as an adult and authority when you're convinced that you're right, and then scramble back behind the shield of Bro I'm Just A Kid Why Is Everyone So Mean when they point out that you're wrong.

I'm not saying any of this is good, righteous or just, only that this is the way it is. Tumblr is a wasteland where people can and will just say whatever, and if you're too young or sensitive to handle that, please ask your parents to monitor your internet activities more closely. And if they won't do that for you, I'm sorry this had to be the way you find out that you are experiencing child neglect.

Don't play in the junkyard without a tetanus shot, and shoes.

[zehiiro]

My take on the current fandom discourse

As well as a little reminder.

It hurts and is unfortunate to see many people on here and on Twitter who are worried and hurt by things they saw within the new teaser and sneak peek and their interpretation of what it means.

So I've decided to post this as a little reminder of who Daryl and Carol are to each other and how much they truly mean to each other, hoping that it can reassure at least a few of you.

I won't be disputing people's interpretation of the teaser and sneak peek, but I will be using a parallel I saw within the sneak peek and another similar scene. I'll let the gifs below speak for themselves for a moment before I continue, and I think most of you will know exactly where I'm headed with this.

She gets hurt She dies She catches a fever She gets taken out by a walker... She gets hit by lightning Anything... anything happens to her, I'll kill you.

- Daryl Dixon TWD 07x10

These were Daryl's words when the Kingdom, Alexandria, Hilltop, and everyone he knew were in danger, and even then, not even for a split second was he willing to put Carol's life and safety on the line.

There is not an ounce of doubt in me that Daryl feels any differently now; in fact, his love for her has grown even more because of everything they've been through since and all the time he's been forced to be away from her, never knowing if he'll ever see her again.

If the way he cared for the people of Alexandria, Kingdom, and Hilltop combined couldn't outweigh how much he cared for Carol, there is ZERO chance that Isabelle, Laurent, and the people from Nest ever could.

When Daryl finally lays eyes on Carol in season 2, compared to her, nothing else will matter to him anymore. The second Carol is ever in danger, Daryl will immediately prioritise her safety over all else.

Of course, he'll help the Nest as much as he can, and so will Carol; that's who they are, but if it ever came down to choosing between one or the other, they will always choose each other.

Yes, it's his nature to always fight for people who need him, but his feelings towards Carol led him to overcome that nature once, and he'll do it again without a second thought.

Trust the man who risked his life looking for her daughter

Trust the man who instantly ran into danger to protect her

Trust the man who ran into her arms when they reunited

Trust the man who would risk death to keep her safe

Trust the man who held her when she lost her children

Trust the man who ran to shelter her from seeing her son dead

Trust the man who puts himself between her and danger

Trust the man who stood by her when she lost herself

Trust the man who always made sure she was okay first (this)

Trust the man who has always put Carol first

Trust the man we've known for 13 years!

In 07x10, as a last attempt to convince Daryl to follow the plan and sacrifice Carol to save everyone else, Richard says:

"What we have to do requires sacrifice one way or another... Guys like us... we've already lost so much"

Daryl responds by saying:

"You don't know me"

Because it's true, Richard didn't know him, he didn't know what Carol meant to him, he couldn't imagine, but we do. And just like Richard, the people in France don't know him and don't know how much Carol means to him, hence why they don't understand him no matter how many times he has said that he has his home to get back to and promises he needs to keep.

So why don't they understand? Why doesn't he tell them about her? Why doesn't he explain who he wants to get back to and why? Wouldn't that just make things easier?

The amazingly insightful @haircoveredwriter reminded me of something here: Why didn't Richard expect Daryl's reaction towards Carol being put in harm's way? Why do Isabelle, Laurent, and Losang not hear Daryl when he tries to explain himself?

Daryl has always held the people he cares about the most as close to his chest as possible, like they're his fragile secrets, like he's scared of sharing them in case they get hurt or he loses them. Of course, you might say that that's more something we do as children, but we can't forget that Daryl never got to have a childhood, and he lost the only people he ever loved while growing up, so no, I can't fault him for trying to protect the person he cares about most, even if it's not in the most conventional ways, instead of talking about her and sharing her with anyone he has an acquaintance with.

This is also a way for Daryl to protect himself; I can see how he believes telling others about her is like advertising his weakness, his achilles heel, like holding up a sign to them that says "Here, this is where you can hit me if you want it to hurt the most. This is my weakest spot. This is how you take me down".

Speaking about her out loud is too painful; a reminder of how much he missed saying her name, what he can't have and may never be able to see again.

Listen to the hesitation and the way his voice softens when he says, "There's a lady named Carol" after Laurent asks who he misses from home, and how within a second, we see his guard go right back up again.

Look at how he can't help but smile when he hears her voice saying his name again after however long, or how he can't stand still, and his shoulders move like someone who's overwhelmed by an emotion that they're trying to contain.

The Daryl we see in the new teaser/sneak peek and the Darly we'll be getting in TBOC season 2 is the exact same Daryl he has always been, the one that's always seen as distant and guarded on the outside and a man of few words but incredibly loud actions; almost all of these have been developed as a self-defence mechanism, but none of these means that internally he isn't dying to leave France and get back to her, to hold her again, to see her smile again, to make her laugh again, to wipe her tears when she cries, to be her support and man of honour again.

The list from earlier in this post is just a few examples (of many) of how he has repeatedly shown us, through his actions, that she is the most important thing in the world to him.

~~~~~~

To wrap this up I just wanted to say that I can't wait to see how their bond strengthens even more in season two because I see these two as the definition of soulmates.

I love them, I love how they love each other, and I always will.

Or in @lola-andheruniverse's wise words (her post), which have stuck with me:

"I'm choosing to hope [and trust] and ignore the fear of disappointment... I'll always love them... They changed the way I understand love, and I'll never regret a second spent loving them."

For those who want to watch the scenes mentioned above, the timestamps are as follows:

TWD 07x10 scene between Richard and Daryl is 8:45 - 14:27.

TWD: DD 01x05 scene between Laurent and Daryl 9:20 - 10:50

TWD: DD 01x05 radio call between Carol and Daryl

Thank you to those who read through this; I know it's a little long, and I could have honestly made it 3x longer because I always have so much to say about these two, but I hope it helped ease your minds, even if it was just a little bit.

#carol peletier #daryl dixon #caryl #caryl positivity #the book of carol #tboc #the walking dead daryl dixon #twd #my gifs #CarylArchives

[butch-reidentified]

1. What is a woman?

Argument for Using "Cis-Identifying"

And related: A conversation with a "NERF" about radical feminism, gender identity ideology, and what we/I actually believe.

2. Inform yourself on some of the work I've done for trans people before you continue the trend of cowardly hypocrisy.

3. My thread responding to the way much of the tumblr trans community handled my sharing my story of surviving the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting (often by stealing my lived trauma and removing my url) is easily one of the most - if not the most - important posts pertaining to trans discourse I've made to date, and Tumblr won't let me pin it. Of course. So here it is. And a bonus: This lovely ask.

4. Hope for Women (this is a very new project, WIP)

About Me:

I am a butch lesbian, married to a badass gnc (but not butch) radfem lesbian goddess whose misandry surpasses even my own; she does have tumblr but rarely uses it - @psychichologramnightmare is hers. I'm 27/Taurus/May baby, though I'll be real, I've never liked astrology and found my birth chart n whatnot always laughably wildly inaccurate to me (sorry astrology girlies). Former competitive rock climber, still in love with hiking and climbing. Wilderness survivalist. Trained & armed woman, advocate for female-only firearm ownership.

My wife and I run our own business, and bought our first home together at 24 & 25 respectively - it's a lovely 4/3 on a quarter acre where we have 5 mango trees and more, plan to start growing our own food and herbs, foster kittens, and provide free housing (and more) regularly for those in need. We do a LOT of IRL feminist action/work/organizing. I post about some of that work pretty often, but I couldn't possibly post about all of it (even if it were safe to do so). I am basically organizing (mostly offline, but some online as well) full-time now.

Survivor of abuse, CSA + captivity, trafficking in my teens where I was forced into porn as a minor, the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando 2016, and more. I am no longer affected by any of these in any negative psychological manner. I own my past, every moment of it, and wouldn't change a thing I've experienced. What I often tell people is, "I'm not glad it happened; I'm glad I was there."

I got my Bachelor's in Neuroscience/Neuropsych, used to work in a top neuro research lab, and have been a coauthor on a peer-reviewed scientific journal publication. I wrote my undergraduate thesis on POTS, ADHD, some of the relevant epigenetics, and norepinephrine dysregulation. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos & POTS in 2015, before pretty much anyone had heard of them (including most doctors). My POTS is very well-managed now, but chronic pain from EDS is more of a struggle. I recently went for testing for EDS subtype and was diagnosed with Type IV/vascular-type EDS (VEDS).

I practice witchcraft as a form of artistic expression. I don't consider myself spiritual as I've had a lifelong inability to "believe," but I am particularly passionate about lesbian-centered/lesbian-exclusive (esp butch & gnc lesbian) witchcraft. I am open to commissions for spell jars/sachets on a purely donation basis (we recently were victims of identity theft and are still struggling to recover, but I'll do them for free happily). This is essentially artistic expression to me, something to express love and sisterhood - why I'm not actually charging or anything and will even pay shipping and materials myself if you'd like one but don't want to/can't donate. To me, it's very similar to commissioning a painting or something of the sort, and I deeply enjoy the process of making them, esp for other women, the love that goes into doing so. See tags: #witchcraft, #brujeria.

Adoptee with complex history. Adoption-critical but not abolitionist - I plan to adopt with my wife in a couple years. I've talked a fair bit about my experiences, adoption trauma, ethical adoption, and more. Check out my tags such as #ethical adoption, #adopted, #adoptee, and so forth (tagged on this post for easy accessibility).

I spent many years surrounded by majority-trans-identifying friends/acquaintances both irl and online, deeply involved in trans spaces & activism, and even identified for a bit & was on T for a while. I am not "uneducated" or unfamiliar with trans-identifying people, their experiences, or gender identity ideology in general. You, like me back then, very probably have been lied to about radfems ("terfs") and what we believe and fight for. I am happy to talk in good faith (provided you do the same) 1 on 1 with anyone who is curious about what we actually believe and what we stand for, what common radfem takes on gender identity ideology & trans identity actually are and why.

I have a history of purely physical sex dysphoria (physical sensation like pain or itching). I got "top surgery" (elective mastectomy) due to this and other reasons: constant painful breast cysts & very large breasts (DDD even when I weighed under 100 lbs). I was not trans-identifying by the time I got this surgery (though I tried to briefly identify as nb/transmasc just bc I felt obligated, but hated it). I have never wanted to be a man socially and genuinely hated the very thought. I came out the womb feminist, got in trouble throughout primary school for fighting boys who tried to pull sexist bullshit, always lowkey believed in female superiority (I mean just look at our biology, lifespans, pain tolerance, the things we've done throughout history despite violent patriarchal oppression...). I spent years preparing myself. I read from & spoke to women who regretted this surgery, challenged myself at every turn, dove deep into my mind and thought processes, tried alternative treatment attempts, worked with a non-affirming therapist, made sure my past traumas were fully healed, and waited until I was in my mid-twenties so my brain was more or less fully matured. I have no regrets about it. I still have some (still purely physical sensation) dysphoria ("phantom male genitals" type of thing) at times, but have come to manage this very well. More on this here.

Formally assessed psychopath & participant in research by leading psychopathy experts (read on before jumping to conclusions). Check out this post and my #psychopathy tag (tagged on this post for easy accessibility) for info, particularly about high-EQ female psychopathy, & to find out everything you think you know about us is wrong 💕 (what you know about male psychopaths is usually right tho 💀)

Note: When it comes to politics, I strive to discuss exclusively that about which I am *uniquely knowledgeable* - by which I mean, essentially, that I (believe I) have something to contribute that is unlikely to be found on every other blog. I do not and will not make posts or reblog posts about topics I do not feel this way about. You are not entitled to know my views on every hot-button issue, and I have no intention of speaking on that which I know little about, or that I don't know enough about (through study or personal experiences) to contribute something you can't get a thousand other places.

Tag Guide (WIP):

#mine -> original posts, including ask responses

#ask -> ask responses only

#anon hate, #anon love -> should be self-explanatory. anon love does include some non-anon love for simplicity.

#catposting, #dogposting, #petposting -> images of cats, dogs, and both, respectively (not always my own)

#Wilder wives -> posts pertaining to me & my wife (last name Wilder)

#mvawg, #mvaw, #male violence -> male violence against women/girls

#ethical adoption -> my takes as an adoptee on the issues within the adoption industry & how adoption can be done ethically

#what we believe -> fairly new tag for posts trying to educate on what radfeminism is actually about/damage control for disinformation & misinformation about it

#trans violence -> violence committed by trans-identifying people, including threats of and graphic violent fantasies (primarily misogynistic ones)

#trans misogyny, #trans lesbophobia, #woke misogyny, #woke homophobia, #woke lesbophobia, etc. -> what it says on the tin

#mine #pinned #hope for Women #ethical adoption #adoptee #adopted #ntsd #neurological type sex dysphoria #sex dysphoria #witchcraft #brujeria #tra receipts #trans violence #male violence #mvawg #trans misogyny #pinned post #about me #what we believe

[anti-endo-haven]

ykw this whole thing is actually crazy. SAS didnt harass any of you, literally nobody here knows what that means. reblogging with corrections, defending himself against being fakeclaimed and slandered, and being reasonably angry about his PERSONAL MAIN that has nothing to do with syscourse being leaked when there are people who wish to see him harmed out there, that isn't harassment. what is harassment is purposely leaking something personal and unconnected in order to hurt him over a LABEL change. something your friend knew could be genuinely dangerous and damaging to his personal life. he's done a lot for the CDD community over the years.

if you're a minor who wants to hide behind that shit when you're corrected for frankly VILE behavior, leave discourse communties because you lost the shield of "you cant be mean to me im just a little guy" when you decided to enter a discourse community and then ACTUALLY harass and spread disinformation about someone. people are mad at you, AEV and friends, because you did something wrong and fucked up.

i'm incredibly disappointed in my community this week. what happened to anti-harassment?? i guess that only applies when people politely provide sources as to why you're wrong about something or when someone responds to slander. SAS isn't the one throwing tantrums rn i can tell you that much, even as someone who disagrees with some of his stances. i can't believe i have to say that harassment is bad even if minors are perpetuating it or even if you're "right". you aren't exempt from doing shitty things or being called out on it for your age & definitely not in syscourse! you in fact signed up to be debated against.

i know this won't change any of your minds, but i just want you to know you're absolutely in the fucking wrong for this shit and one day you'll realize how fucked up this is both to do and to defend.

i wish no harm upon any of you - and i don't doubt youre being harassed - but it was never SAS doing it, and the most public harassment has come from your friend group. it's really just not cool.

-a very angry and disappointed anti-endo MINOR since yall care so damn much about poor lil 17yos

1.) SAS did in fact harass AEV numerous times on both their misinformation correction blog and the AEV vents blog.

2.) Defending yourself is fine if you don’t actively cause harm to others. It is fine to let others know that SAS has actively harmed and manipulated people with their main blog. It’s keeping others safe from someone they DO NOT WANT TO INTERACT WITH.

3.) They are 30. Don’t interact with someone you don’t think you can handle a simple mistake from, especially in a rude way.

Just because he has done a lot doesn’t give him a pass to act the way he has.

AEV did NOTHING wrong besides have an ask venting about SAS and made a simple fucking mistake. You and other supporters of SAS are defending someone for harassing a MINOR that has been attacked by them numerous times.

AEV, me, and others cannot control what people do. We can tell them to not harass someone. That is not on us if they do that, it is on the people that do decide to harass them. That is not on AEV or anyone else that tells someone “do not harass this person.” AEV is against harassment as am I, that DOES NOT make us the root of the issue.

I see nothing where I am in the wrong. I wish no harm upon SAS but just that supporters get away from my blog and to understand that a 30 year old acting the way he did is wrong. If you don’t like that, don’t interact with me. I am defending a friend. But can I not do that within the same limitations?

I’m not sending witch hunts for SAS. I’m telling people what they have done and that they’re supporting endos now, things a lot of people here don’t want to interact with.

I am letting you know that due to this, I am blocking you for my own peace of mind. If you don’t agree with the stances that I’ve stated, proceed to not interact. But supporting SAS who has actively harmed someone else, multiple people, is wrong. Good day.

#anti endo #endos dni #did system #system #osddid #actually did #did plural #traumagenic system #endos not for you #actually traumagenic #did plurality #osdd plural #osdd plurality

[kittenintheden]

okay listen I'm so tired lol

I am a fandom old. I've been around the freaking block like eight dozen times. I'm at the point in my life where I enjoy media because it's FUN and ENRICHING for me personally, rather than something I base my identity on. I adore the community that happens in fan spaces (mostly).

here is why I never trust an anon that's clearly just being a dick: I've been in way to many scenarios where people who aren't even invested in the thing just think it's so fucking funny to watch segments of a community fight with each other. it tickles some part of their lizard brain. their mom never taught them not to be an asshole to strangers. idk.

there's a political term that you may or may not be familiar with called astroturfing. it's frequently used in marketing and politics to falsely create the image of vast public support for something that doesn't actually have all that much natural support. for example, people who don't especially have strong feelings about trans issues being encouraged/paid/instructed to respond to any and all trans support a certain way. responding to blogs, sending letters to the editor, posting on message boards, etc. their goal is to create a broad public perception that most people are anti-trans (untrue).

and it works. entire fucking laws and legislation and protests and fearmongering come out of that shit. people make up FAKE PROBLEMS (cis men dressing up like women to go be pervy in public bathrooms???) and spread the word via bad actors and controlling the public discourse. the media conglomerate that gamed Facebook to disproportionately support asshole authoritarian alt-right clowns and got them elected was EXCELLENT at it.

a similar thing can happen in fandom, ESPECIALLY when that fandom is a haven for women, POC, queer folk, and other minorities. you guys might remember GamerGate and SadPuppies? yeah all those fuckers are still active and still purposely being shitty at every given opportunity because they think it's funny to make the "libs" fight amongst themselves.

look up #yourslipisshowing if you're not familiar. it was a movement by Black Twitter (specifically Black WOMAN Twitter) to expose bad actors who would create accounts posing as Black woman activists, learn the surface-level terminology, and just purposely cause discord in leftist spaces under the ever-familiar activist method of "being morally pure is a thing that can exist."

anyway: any time I get an ask or comment without a name attached that is very obviously intended to poke me in a sore spot, I delete that shit and assume it's some fucker trying to start fan drama for kicks. even if I'm wrong, I still don't need to feed into that shit. this is my fun, happy space. I'm an activist and do activist shit and get angry at the world in real life, I don't need it in my little fandom corner of the internet too.

which is not to say that shitty fans and shitty fandom takes don't really exist. they very much do. but I don't give them much air unless there's an actual name attached. and even THEN it can be hit or miss because people can and do create fake accounts if they're especially dedicated to being a shithead.

so: if you're minding your business and some goober comes into your ask box with shit that's clearly intended to push a button, give it like 24 hours to cool down and decide if it's actually worth it to respond. for me, most of the time I determine that it's not.

don't get me wrong. calling out bad behavior in fandom IS IMPORTANT and SHOULD BE DONE. I just also think it's important to try and find the joy and camaraderie in these spaces as much as possible and that people who try to disrupt that for jollies suck real bad and give a disproportionate perception of "what X fans are like."

in summary, my philosophy is be the best person you can be, be as kind as is warranted, focus on the parts of your fandom that make you happiest, and carry a big stick for when the jerks won't take a hint.

also like. shitting on other characters to prop up your fave is such a freaking middle school move. are you in middle school? if so, I'm sorry. if not, I'm still sorry, but for a different reason.

#bg3 discussion #bg3 discourse #fandom bs #fandom discourse #kitten rambles #more fun less raaah

[p3ski]

Pairing: RK900/Gavin Reed

Tags: Post Pacifist Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Smut, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Masterlist

Read on AO3 here:

Summary: A lot has changed since the revolution. Crimes against androids are now being treated with greater severity, with many being subject to the same penalties as crimes against humans. While anti-android attitudes are on the decline, transforming the mindset of an entire city is no simple task.

A reluctant Gavin Reed and his new partner RK900 have been assigned to investigate a string of disturbing murders. Despite the shift in Detroit's social climate, Gavin still holds reservations about whether or not androids are truly alive. Will his developing feelings for 'Nines' prompt a shift in perspective?

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Depression/Self Destructive Behaviour, Smut

Word Count: 3.6K

The journey to the scene was heavy in traffic, causing considerable delays. While Gavin was in no rush to confront the discourse that had been outlined for them in the dispatch, his companion did not share these sentiments. Impatience gripped Nines, evident in the tapping of his slender fingers and the restless jerking of his legs.

Even in moments of distress, the android had always demonstrated a certain level of restraint - but now, that veneer was slipping away, leaving behind a palpable vulnerability. It was unsettling to bear witness to as Gavin's eyes danced between his partner and the police-issue tablet clasped in his hands. With trepidation, he cleared his throat. 

"So, you ready to tell me what's wrong?" 

The patrol car neared a grid-locked intersection, the green light overhead turning red just as they reached the turning point. As they were jerked to a halt by the auto brake system, Nines gripped the nearby safety handle. He seemed poised to rip the door from its hinges and proceed to their destination on foot.

Gavin opted to shift his approach, making a concerted effort to soften his tone. "We don't have to do this, you know… we can ask Fowler to send someone else."

Nines roused a bit at the words but remained ultimately unswayed. His lips formed a tense line as he stared intently at the traffic light. Even after the signal changed, their progress was limited. Turning into the new route, they seamlessly merged into another wave of stationary vehicles.

Taking advantage of the auto drive and blackout windows, Gavin leant towards his partner, placing a hand on his thigh. "I'm not going to think any less of you if you need to cut and run. If anyone has anything to say about that, I'll tell them where to shove it." 

Nines briefly responded to the touch, suggesting a hint of acceptance, before abruptly pulling away. Frustration surged within Gavin, compelling him to extend his reach once again. The gesture initially intended as an act of assurance, subtly evolved into a means of restraint.

"Look, I'm trying here, but it's not easy when I have no idea what the problem is."

Yet another attempt to break through that was coldly rebuffed. 

"Why won't you talk to me?" 

Nines remained resolute, impervious to any attempts to reach him. 

"You know what? Fine." Gavin withdrew his hand, throwing it up in exasperation. "Fucking ignore me. See if I care."

After what felt like an eternity, the vehicle reached its destination. A small brick bungalow nestled within a suburban cul-de-sac. The lawn outside had been recently cut, adorned with pruned flower beds and neatly trimmed hedges. The well-maintained property would have seemed unassuming had it not been for the dozen or so officers patrolling outside.

Among them was a shorter woman, her bob of black hair tied in a bun beneath a DPD-issue police cap. She turned around, alerted by the harsh slam of the car door as the first of the occupants exited.

Nines surged up the path, leaving Gavin scrambling to unbuckle his seatbelt. By the time he was out of the vehicle, Tina was also approaching, her brisk walk escalating into a jog as her eyes darted anxiously between the partners. 

"RK900, Gavin."

Meeting them in the centre of the walkway, Tina positioned herself as if intentionally obstructing it. Nines, undeterred, sidestepped around her, proceeding towards the crime scene. Her look of mild concern escalated to urgent alarm as she reached out a hand towards him.

"Hey, maybe just… wait a minute." 

The sentence trailed off weakly as it became clear that the android had zero intentions of slowing down or listening to anything she had to say. Instead of pursuing, she idled in place, waiting for her friend to catch up.

"Thought Fowler might send someone else," she said when Gavin reached her, smiling sadly.

The detective watched as the officers on the porch parted like waves, allowing Nines space to make his way past. I think he should have.

"Is it definitely a—" Gavin's lips clamped shut instinctively as his sentence hung in the air, unfinished. "There weren't any mistakes in the report?"

She shook her head solemnly. "I wish." 

Suppressing his rising nausea, Gavin nodded towards the house, signalling his friend to join him. As they got closer, a persistent wailing could be heard from inside, like someone screaming in pain. "Who made the call?" he asked, suspecting the answer was almost certainly linked to the unpleasant sounds. 

Tina was quick to confirm this, her expression darkening. "The victim’s sister. She lost her job a few weeks ago, was crashing on their couch. Left to go shopping around 9:45 but forgot her purse, so she had to come back. Realised something was wrong as soon as she saw the door."

It soon became apparent what Tina meant as they emerged onto the front porch. The metal panelling of the door handle had been pulled back and warped out of shape, and the keyhole was marked with scratches. 

"Neighbours see anything?" Gavin asked, leaning in to expect the damage.

"We're asking around—he’s just lucky the boyfriend didn't clock him, or he'd be a pancake right now." Tina chuckled, although devoid of any real humour. 

"Shame. Would’ve loved to watch forensics scrape the bastard off the wall." The door had been left slightly ajar from Nines' entrance, but not enough for a clear view inside. As Gavin attempted to push it further, Tina's hand intercepted, resting on his forearm.

"It's pretty bad. Are you going to be okay?" 

His lips pulled in with a sharp breath. "Been at this for ten years, Ti. It's not my first crime scene; I'll be fine."

"Yeah, but this is different." She paused, concern evident in her eyes. "Is Nines going to be okay?" 

There was much Gavin wanted to express, but he held himself back, wary of succumbing to a breakdown in the middle of a crime scene. "Well, he's already in, so I guess we'll find out." 

Upon entering the house, there was no disguising who had been responsible for the attack. Each wall in the Living Room was defaced with hateful slogans. The majority were in English, but some were encrypted, the most prominent being a large string of numbers displayed on the north-facing wall:

 

01001001 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01001011 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01000110 01000101 01000101 01001100 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01000011 01000001 01001110 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101 00101110

 

There was a small leather sofa in the corner of the room, with a young woman sitting in the centre. She was red-faced and wailing, with two officers flanked on either side, holding her legs in a comforting gesture.

"Why would someone do this?" she managed to stammer out between sobs. Snot dribbled down her lips, and mascara trailed down her cheeks. "They didn't do anything wrong." 

Conducting a closer examination of the vandalism, Gavin discovered it extended to the family portraits. Snapshots of a young couple with large black marks erasing their faces. He then realised that the slogans had been used to caption them:

 

SHE BURNS IN THEIR HELL.

 

BLOOD TRAITOR.

 

ONE PLANET. ONE RACE.

 

Some had been less carefully handled, pulled from their hooks and thrown haphazardly onto the floor. Through the ambient sounds of screaming, a faint tutting sound was audible, accompanied by hushed whispers.

"Jesus, he's killing people now too… ."

Gavin hadn't heard much else of the discussion but concluded he didn't need to. He sharply turned his head, spotting what seemed to be a pair of young and inexperienced officers peering opportunistically through the doorway. 

"You two dipshits got something to say?" he hissed, each word dripping with venom. "Any brilliant fucking insights?" 

The men were caught off-guard by the unexpected address. The taller of the two, presumably the one he’d overheard, was quick to answer him, voice trembling. "N-No, Detective. We were just—"��

"They were both people, you stupid asshole." He cut him off before he could finish, the sternness of his voice leaving no room for debate. "This is a crime scene, not a playground. Your job is to wait outside and manage bystanders while the real police do their jobs. Got it?" 

Having sufficiently rattled the officer, he exchanged a look with his companion before they hastily retreated, heads bowed in apparent shame. Tina watched on, visibly perplexed, before her focus shifted to Gavin. 

"What was that all about?"

He regarded her incredulously, responding with a nonchalant shrug. Scanning the room to ensure he hadn't overlooked anything, Gavin's attention caught Nines standing in a corner, back turned.  

His partner had retrieved one of the fallen pictures, with the splintered wood firmly secured in his hands. In the reflection of the spidered glass, Gavin could see his LED. It shone red like a warning beacon, with the visage warping as the android slowly tightened his grip. The glass broke further, falling to the ground like a blanket of snow. 

A knot formed in his stomach, and the detective was about to approach when Tina spoke up, diverting his focus. "There's something you'll want to see. In the garden."

They walked through the ransacked halls of the house towards the kitchen. It was less of a room and more of a narrow walkway, densely packed with appliances on either side. At the end of this passage was a screen door pulled wide open. 

"I don't think he expected the sister back so soon," Tina remarked, gesturing toward the garden, prompting Gavin to take a closer look. "He left something behind."

Moving towards the exit, Gavin noticed what initially seemed to be a black trash bag on the ground. On closer inspection, however, it revealed itself to be a men's raincoat - painted in swatches of red and blue. Waterproof polyester, reminiscent of the scrap they had found several weeks prior.

Leading off from the coat were boot prints. He followed them to the garden fence, where a trashcan had been propped against it, creating a makeshift stool. On the lid, he noticed another series of incriminating splotches. This time, in the shape of fingerprints. 

"He cornered himself. Couldn't risk running into the streets with the jacket on; had to ditch it somewhere." 

"Well, not so good for him… but great for you, right?" Tina said hopefully. "You've been complaining about the lack of evidence. Now there's finally something to work with." 

"I'm sure Sanders will be delighted. He's had his thumb up his ass for weeks." Gavin crossed his arms, unable to share in his friend's optimism. "It's weird. He's worked so hard to cover his tracks—up until now."

"Never question a good thing, Gav." 

"You don't get it. He's fucked it all up, all because some lady forgot her purse." Studying the clues with greater scrutiny, he noted how each handprint looked meticulously formed—almost seeming deliberate. 

Thoroughly engrossed by his analysis, he had failed to notice the figure that had emerged in the doorway. It was only when a commanding voice echoed into the garden that he was startled to attention.

"I have completed my preliminary assessment," Nines stated, voice calm and coolly detached—a stark contrast to the unravelling man Gavin had witnessed minutes before. There was only so much his poker face could hope to disguise, however, as the light on his temple continued to betray him. "Where are the bodies?"

Tina appeared hesitant to answer, her lips pressing together defensively. Nines was clearly not feeling patient as he spoke again. Louder. "Officer Chen. Show me. Now." 

"They're, um—bedroom", she said, pointing a limp finger back through the kitchen. 

The partners, guided by Tina, silently navigated their way back through the house. She brought them to a door with another message scrawled across it. This time, written in red. The phrase seemed random, although Gavin knew better than to assume that at this stage, with large gaps in between letters:

 

O     R          L     O      D         O      S       T             I

 

Nines traced a finger across the line of a letter, revealing that the morbid ink had yet to dry. He popped the sample into his mouth, studying it with his tongue. "Human Blood. Type A+." 

"We can see what it is." Gavin huffed before leaning in closer to the writing. "Fuck knows what it means. Maybe it's a Caesar cipher, with the key shifted." 

"It isn't a code", his partner replied, withdrawing his now cleaned finger. "It only appears that way to you, but I can assure you, it is a complete message. Every other letter is written in Thirium." 

"What does it say?"

"OUR BLOOD DOESN'T MIX."

"Ooo, clever", Tina said before withering under the glares her musings had earned her. "And super messed up, of course." 

Upon entering the bedroom, the scene unfolded like a nightmare. The victims were naked, laid side by side on the bedsheets. Their clothes were strewn on the floor around them, displayed like a cruel mural. 

They had been gutted, wired tendrils blooming from the android's stomach as intestines hung out from the woman. There was a gaping hole in the android's chest, where its thirium pump had been ripped out. Their gazes were fixed on the ceiling above them. Lifeless and unblinking, trapped in a final moment of terror. 

Gavin fixated on the male victim, and he heaved uncontrollably, resisting the urge to vomit. Hand pressed firmly to his mouth, he forced himself to avert his gaze. He recognised that he couldn't endure it for long. The sight of the tortured and shattered body, combined with the face. His face.

Nines maintained an unwavering focus as he completed a scan of the scene:

"The blood on the door matches the human victim, Jennifer Parkins, a Mailroom Technician, born 11th May 2016." He paused momentarily as a rumble of static escaped from his lips. "The Thirium is a match to the android victim… RK900, Serial Number 313 248 317 - 98. Self-appointed name, Miles."

"Okay, we've seen enough", Gavin snapped, firmly tightening his jaw. He motioned to the door with his head in an attempt to usher his partner away. "Let's leave this for forensics." 

The android proved far from receptive. "Miles did not sense his assailant approaching. He would have easily overpowered him had he done so. He would have been turned away from the door—distracted." 

"Pretty easy to see why." Gavin glanced at the foot of the bed and the delicate wisps of lingerie that were bunched beside it. "Seriously, we don't need to stay for this. You'll have everything we need from your scan." 

"A long, bladed weapon was used to penetrate. Piercing through the lower chassis and disrupting the core vital components." There was a disturbing detachment with which Nines spoke. As though he were talking about the weather. "This would have immobilised him long enough for the blade to be dragged through the sternal cavity into the pump regulator. Coupled with the accelerated loss of Thirium, this would have left him approximately sixty seconds before succumbing to system failure." 

"Is all of that supposed to impress me?" the detective seethed back harshly. "You, torturing yourself over every minute detail?" 

"A second incision was made, and the damaged pump regulator removed. Approximately twenty-five minutes later, judging by the evaporation rate." 

Gavin cut his partner off before he could continue. "Stop it—just fucking stop. I don't want to hear this, and neither do you."

"I have no qualms in reconstructing the timeline of events." Nines glared at him through a furrowed brow, eyes brimming with accusation. "If that causes you distress, then I suggest you remove yourself for the sake of retaining your composure."

"Oh, so you're telling me to calm down? That's rich, coming from the guy whose head is blinking like a goddamn Christmas tree." 

"That needn't concern you," Nines argued back, tilting his head away, attempting to obscure his partner’s view. "I can assure you, I am fine."

"But you're not fine, are you? I can see you're not, so stop fucking lying to me."  

"Either you can stay and assist with my analysis, or you can leave. The choice is yours."

"Christ, I'm getting whiplash here." Gavin tugged at his face as he let out a harsh grunt of vexation. "You want me to be honest about my feelings, trust you enough to open up, but the second I need you to trust me, you run a mile!" 

"Our personal lives are hardly relevant in this current situation. Besides, that issue has been resolved."

"Has it? Really? Because from where I'm standing, you're still running. Goddammit Nines, you'd think after everything, you would be more willing to open up."

“Why do you always insist on making everything about you?"

"It's not. I know it's not, just—fuck." He grunted again, louder this time. "Am I the problem here? Is it that you don't want to talk to me?"

"I do not want, or need, to talk to anyone. I am in control of my emotions. I have to be. I can't—" 

He retreated into himself once more as his hands came to clutch his head. Nines, the indomitable force of code and programming, was behaving like a frightened animal. His body quivering, gaze frenzied, as it darted across the room. Like he was looking for a way to escape, but simultaneously paralysed.

"For fucks sake, you're scaring me", Gavin admitted in a rare show of vulnerability. "Do you need Connor? Should I call him?"

"Fix." 

Gavin blinked, trying to decipher the meaning behind the word. 

"Fix", Nines repeated. "We can fix him. If we re-connect the severed components and replenish the lost Thirium." 

Then, his heart ached as he grasped what his partner was trying to suggest. "Nines."

"Replace the damaged chassis. The remaining damage is cosmetic. Should the healing protocol have time to engage." 

"He's too far gone, you know that." 

"All that would be needed then would be a compatible pump regulator." 

"And how are we going to find one of those?" Gavin fired back in a desperate attempt to ground his increasingly frenzied partner. "Are we going to rip it out of your chest or from another RK900?" 

"No—they could—parts." He spoke in strange, clipped-off segments. Elevating the sense of mania. "There are parts—from the others—we can use them." 

"You're not making any sense." 

"Only parts—all there is—only me—no one left." 

Unable to stand any more, Gavin reached forward, grabbing his arm. "Okay, we need Connor, right fucking now. I don't care what you say, I'm getting him down here, and we're taking you home. There's something wrong. This isn't like you."

"D̶̜̗̹͐̕ͅö̴̖̻̝́̌̍́ń̸̮̟̿̒'̵͇̝̠͗̋t̸̰̦̊͊̀͆ ̵̱͔̌́̕͠t̴̯̦̑o̶̢̬̻̠̓͋̈ú̵̥͔̮̀̀͠ç̶̣̪͉̂͂̀h̴̢̠̗͂͊ ̷̮̝̂̄͐̅m̶̨̲͈͖̓e̴̜̊̈͠." 

The words were mangled, twisted to the point they were nearly beyond comprehension. It was like the final, breaking crescendo to all of Nines' mounting anguish. 

Then his tortured expression fell, becoming entirely blank. The vibrant pulse of his temple stopped, returning to a steady blue. Eyes stared through Gavin. Absent of any pain, fear, or any glimpse of emotion at all. It startled him, and he backed away as Nines stood mounted in place. Still and lifeless, like a mannequin.

Having no idea what had happened, the detective could only assume he had undergone some kind of soft reset. He re-approached his partner with caution, hand extending to touch his face. 

"Nines? Can you hear me?" 

The android seized his arm, hoisting it above his head and taking his body with it. Suspended, his mind struggled to process what was happening before he was callously tossed through the air. A resounding thud echoed as his head collided with the wall. His skin caught on a stray nail, carving out a painful gash. 

Gavin slid to the floor limply, wedged between the wall and bed frame. He had been thrown with enough force that the bed had displaced, leaving it angled to one side. Tina was calling out to him but was unsure what she was saying. The ring in his ears was deafening as he gingerly placed a hand on the back of his head. He felt warmth pool around his fingers, and when he brought them down to inspect, a sheen of crimson glistened back. 

There was a sharp, feedback-like buzz. A metallic scream that filled the air ripped from his partner's throat. Nines was back in an instant. His eyes were blown wide, and his mouth trembling - as though grappling with the weight of what he had just done.

"I am unable to complete this investigation." The words came out strained and distant. As though each fractured syllable was causing him pain. "I have been compromised." 

The android bolted from the room without another word, leaving Gavin further disoriented. Attempting to stand, he used the bed for support but quickly fell back from the excursion. Tina was swift to aid him, slinging one of his arms over her shoulder as he teetered from side to side. 

"It's okay, Gav. Easy. I've got you." 

A flood of potential actions and words surged within the detective, but his state of shock held them captive. As Tina guided him forward, she seemed to notice something on the wall where the bed had been moved. Curious, her eyes narrowed before she gestured a finger towards her discovery. "What is that?"

Gavin followed her direction to another numeric message. Scrawled out in Thirium:

 

52 24 44 23 32 15 32 11 13 23 24 33 15 12 11 13 13 44 34 23 15 31 31 

#finally posting the rest of the chapters #reed900 #dbh #detroit become human #dbh nines #dbh gavin #dbh rk900 #dbh fanfiction #dbh fanfic #gavin reed x rk900 #gavin900 #gavin x nines #dbh fic #detroit: become human #detroitbecomehuman

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey goldy,

Just checking in . Are you good? No post about jimins album from you..Are you worried? I think he will do good. i was worried that he will do generic songs like vibe but he is digging deep...i am proud of him. Hope you are doing good even if you dont respond to this ask..lots of love goldy.

Two things are gonna happen in March:

A. I'm gonna get canceled, lots of friends will turn into enemies, people are gonna hate me or

B. I'll probably go to jail big time

Here's why.

People would want me to be objective and share my honest thoughts on the album and I'm not gonna do none of that and yall are gonna resent me for it cos yall might perceive me as being biased. Which I won't lie I am.

I don't have an objective take to give nobody and if you have one keep it to yourself. Nobody asked you.

They're gonna call his song something like "generic" and I'm gonna instantly push my boot in their chest, pull their hair, bite their nose, pee on their foot- cos what the hell does that even mean😫

I know people will come here and say things like, I liked it but- but nothing cos I got your tongue and now you can't speak. Smashed your in teeth right in with a hammer.

Yall keep your opinions to yourself please

No, don't share it with me I do not want to know

I'm very sensitive about this album so I just want to refrain from having any discourse around it.

And you're damn right he will do good!

But please darling choose your words carefully when talking about his songs with me okay I get triggered so easily 😭😭😭😭😭😭

The album is good let's agree to leave it like that right now. If you don't have nothing positive to say about it take it somewheres else

I don't want to lose anymore friends over this

Am I good?

Honestly, I'm shitting my pants over here

Never been this nervous in my life and I know some people would try to ruin it for me but know that I'm ready for war. I came prepared- thoroughly

Also anyone who ships JM with any other person better come through, show up, show out it's all hands on deck. LEMME NOT CATCH YALL SLACKING ON THE STREAMS COS ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE

You're not going to use Jimin to advance your fantasies and then not support him when it's time to support him- jail is where we will both slay

We're good. I'm good. Are you good? I'm good

I won't be held responsible for anything I say or do

I love you guys but I love Jimin more

[several-ravens]

@jo1sstuff i'm going to reply to this in its own post so i can find it and add to it later more easily if i need to

also it's under the cut because it's a demonstation that's long af

tldr: technology

so here is the line of thinking that got me to this conclusion:

1) episode 65 presents something totally different from any other category we've met so far, and that is analog horror (so found footage, creepy videos, possessed digital devices, and the likes). usually it is about something that's old, or older than the person who uses it (just like tessa winters in 2017 who finds the (alleged) program made by sergei yshanka in the 1980's)

and analog horror has been a very important part of the 'new age' of horror as technology and the internet grew. there are some very famous things like the movies the ring and blair witch project, or mickey mouse whistling, or the scp foundation, or the new doom mod, or creepy pasta, you get the idea

my personal comment: it's very meta to have an episode on analog horror which is literally an ancestor and relative to tma itself, and i LOVE this

2) tessa winters makes a loooong monologue about the differences between analog and digital and draws our attention to jon's tape recorder

which reminded me of the very first episode where he explains why he records some statements on tape: "I plan to digitise the files as much as possible and record audio versions, though some will have to be on tape recorder, as my attempts to get them on my laptop have met with… significant audio distortions." (unofficial transcripts)

3) in episode 62, gertrude says: "Who does the book come from?" and mary keay responds: "The End, of course." (unofficial transcripts)

notice how she said 'who' and not 'where'. so my guess is the categories are not only there to classify the different types of fears but also have an 'entity' or a 'god' attached to it

my personal comment: i like the idea that they are similar to the great old ones from lovecraft, who also plays a very fundamental part in today's horror

4) i'm then reminded of american gods by neil gaiman (<3), where the gods of the old worships have a war with the new ones (technology, media, etc.)

which brings us back to our point no.2 (analog vs. digital), and the fact that apparently the only things that won't go into jonathan's computer are the statements that fit into the categories, so that are associated with our 'old gods' (the end, and the 13 others)

"why wouldn't they go digital?" you might ask. well, because they are at war with digital and the new technologies (or something of that kind). here i quote the unofficial transcripts from mag47: jonathan says: "You make it sound like there’s a… war." to which delirium michael responds with: "[heh] Then I will say nothing further. I wouldn’t wish to tarnish your ignorance prematurely."

5) the fear of our future being taken over by technology is a very real thing (detroit become human comes to my mind rn, also fallout somehow (even though it's more about capitalism but technology is still important, i.e. nuclear weapons), also the current discourses with ai, etc.)

so its just a draft for now, but my guess is something along the lines of 'technology' or like 'progress'

P.S. (i know editing a post after it has been posted is bad but honetly idc): you (jo1sstuff) said something about the 15th corridor not being there at the time of episode 35, which confirms this theory about 'technology' being a new, emergent deity

#no spoilers beyond mag65 please i don't want to know if i'm right or wrong #i know a lot about analog horror and the history of horror on the internet #my credentials: my boyfriend is very passionate about this subject and loves to ramble about it #so when tessa winters started talking about analog vs. digital my brain immediately switched on #pun very much intended #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers

[kakarorin]

Defending "The Road to El Dorado" from a couple racist claims, or how I, being so cheeky, like to call it: Covering myself in sugar in order to attract some nasty little bugs🐞

For some reason, 2024 seems to be the year when I can't tolerate "The Road to El Dorado is packed with racism" discourse anymore. A couple days ago, I stumbled across a very colourful gifset which encapsulated perfectly all the objectively wrong arguments (save for half... one... one and a half... It depends) I've ever seen people give out to explain why they don't like the movie (@/neechees: If by some unlikely chance you're reading this, I wish we could have talked about it calmly. I'm a very open-minded person, unlike you seem to be). I've seen them SO many times that I think I hit my limit. Long story short, I got defensive, which I regret, shame on me, told the op they were wrong, as they are, op responded, and I got blocked before I could respond back. I honestly don't know why they blocked me after responding. I don't know if they sensed I know much more about the Aztec Conquest than they do, but well... Occam's razor.

After I calmed down, tried to reach to them because I genuinely wanted to talk about it, and failed, I decided I was going to break their post down as minutely as I could, even if just to get it off my shoulders and toss it into the void, and polished what I told one of the people who reblogged op's post saying they were right into this lengthy post. Purely because I love debating about movies I love. And boy, do I LOVE this movie.

Before starting, I'm letting you know that, as far as I know, I'm 100% white. And I'm also from Spain (Europe. Clarifying this for the Americans), which understandably gives me the advantage of having lived (and living) through the subtle remnants of the wretched Spanish Black Legend. Yet none of these two things stopped me from looking up historical papers, podcasts and documentaries (further than YouTube's video essays, I mean) so I could understand that this sort of... slander was indeed, part of that concept. I don't see how being of a particular race or ethnicity gives you the right to speak about recorded history as objective facts without doing your research and applying your critical thinking to it, either. Does op think that just because they're Native-American, as they say (just in case, can't believe anything you read on the internet these days), a person who has spent hours, days, months educating themselves about Hernán Cortés, poor Malinche and the Aztec Conquest from serious sources can't have more knowledge than them? Smh, op, smh. It does give you right over feelings, and obviously, your own experiences, though. Hope you still understand that factual knowledge is an entirely different thing.

That being said, at the end of the day, save for the very easy-to-check historical facts (which I will provide sources for if asked, although I believe you can very easily research it yourself), this is my opinion about why "The Road to El Dorado" is regarded as much more racist than it actually is. If you want to give me yours or respond to it, please, by all means, do it. Respectfully and with clear and valid reasons, of course. Otherwise, I'll have to ignore you. Understand that what you read below is the limit of my thinking and reading. Enjoy, or hate. Call me a racist. Send a WHITE meme my way. Up to you.

I'd link you to the post, but I don't feel like it. They blocked me, after all. You can search my blog for it. It's tagged as "neechees". And be sure to read their tags on the post as well, for context. Anyway, here go their "objective truths". Debunking time starts... now:

(EDIT: This is filled with edits. See how my opinion can change and I can clarify or rectify? Anyway, stating the obvious, but I believe Spanish colonization is bad. In any part of the world. I won't give you a single good aspect of it, except for that at least it was based on a different mindset than British colonization. Maybe there are fairly good aspects. After all, they say Romans gave us Spaniards roads and sewage systems. We'd have to take a look at an alternative reality where it didn't happen to make an objective claim. But, believe me, if it had been for me, I'd have pushed Cortés off the ship a good bunch of nautical miles before he reached what is now known as Veracruz, whatever good things he ended up doing. Bear that in mind.)

1. The cultures are mashed up in one city, that is true. But there is no explicit racist (implying prejudice, discrimination or antagonism, as I understand racism, or as racism is actually defined) motive behind it. I don't think it's done out of unthoughtfulness, either. I'm pretty sure it's just done to leave the place ambiguous, because (tell you more later), with Cortés involved and what went down with him historically, that place is much more meant to be Tenochtitlán than the legendary city of El Dorado. They didn't want to make that so explicit because this is a retelling, after all (tell you more later). I honestly don't see how anyone could think that the resulting city and culture are portrayed in a negative way. Sometimes, I'm not even sure these people were paying attention when watching the movie (if they ever did). In fact, if it weren't for the title of their post, I wouldn't even understand the point in this.

2. Oh boy, this is exactly what triggered me to say something instead of just putting it on my blog silently. This is how I know the op has ZERO knowledge about the historical event behind it, because they wouldn't say this is right if they did. There is no such thing as a (EDIT:) sufficiently collective "Spanish lie that Native-American (NA) people believed they were gods" (NEVER listen to a Spaniard who claims this. EDIT: Like López de Gómara. They're delulu), this has never had any kind of historical relevance (in the outcome and influence of history, I mean), and the NA people in the movie are not worshipping the white guys because they're white. The whole plot, arriving in a city and being mistaken for a god because your arrival coincided with an ancient premonition in such a precise way that it is fascinating, is exactly what happened to Cortés when he reached the capital of the Aztec Empire, Tenochtitlán. He was believed to be the reincarnation of Quetzalcóatl, and that's why he could enter the city peacefully and live in it for a short amount of time. The concept of the movie seems to be "What if this, instead of happening to a conquistador (in which is implicit the catholic element) who quickly said he was no god when he realised what was happening (because of the sin of idolatry), happened instead to two atheist looters who are ultimately good-hearted (NOT colonizers, because they didn't try to claim the land or control it) who weren't stopped by the fear to sin and took advantage of the situation?" That's it. The premonition happened to fall on a white man hundreds of years ago (who also came from the east, same place Quetzalcóatl left to and said he'd return from) and so does in the movie story because it mirrors real history, and, again, I fail to see the negative portrayal in all of this because it's certainly NOT because they're white. I think the op also took it salty that I said they had zero knowledge about "the very people they're trying to defend", which I still believe, but this is complex and I'll only explain this if asked. What I meant by that, on the surface, is that NA people also enslaved NA people. I seriously hope op doesn't think NA slavery is more acceptable if it comes from other NA people than white people. Who knows, at this point.

3. This is essentially right. It's the only thing I think is mostly right, actually. It's no problem for me, though. I love Chel, she's beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to me. But I can understand why it may put someone off. All good. However, I still wanna say that the Aila test is just a way of assessing indigenous women representation as positive and negative, and not the work in itself as problematic if it doesn't pass it. The Lord of the Rings doesn't pass the Bechdel test and I have never seen anyone calling it problematic because of that, nor do I need positive representation (I'm a woman. Sort of. It fluctuates) on it to enjoy it. Although I figure I'd feel the same if I were NA, I can't and won't speak for one. So I still give you that.

4.1. This is wrong in three ways. First, Tzekel-kan is not "demonized as evil". He is evil. He's not evil because he's NA, he is evil because he killed, he lied, and he abused his power. There are NA people in the movie who are kind and good (everyone but him, I believe), and then there's him. In every race and ethnicity, there are good, neutral and bad people. And people who are sometimes good, and sometimes bad. If all the NA people were painted in a morally white and good way, that special treatment would come off as positive discrimination to me. Why can't he be a sociopathic genocider AND indigenous at the same time without being considered as racist? Does that mean all indigenous people have to be/are morally white? If all the other NA characters were demonized, I'd understand it, but it's the opposite. Also, Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, the (redundant) emperor of an Empire who enslaved other NA people. And, surprise, just like Cortés, I don't think the guy was evil. I think this is probably another reason why they didn't want to make clear the specific culture. I could see the racism if they had tried to directly compare Tzekel-kan with Moctezuma, I would perfectly be able to see the claim that Moctezuma was a sociopathic genocider, and I'd recognise that as racist. But in this case, it's just loose inspiration. Not a parody.

4.2. There was NO genocide in the Spanish NA colonies. There was NO legal slavery, save for a few unfortunate loopholes (tell you more later). (EDIT: careful, I'm NOT defending his monumental fuck-ups or justifying him in any way, just so you know. In my opinion, he was a fair lot more bad than good, but not 100% bad. If you get me) Hernán Cortés did a lot of undeniably wrong things, but he did good things too. I don't think you can say he was a good person, no person who'd say that would be a friend of mine, but I don't think he was a 100% evil person. Just a person, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Still, when he was bad, he was bad. And what op said about that they didn't care enough about him to write his name properly, BOY how that ticked me off. People, for all you hold dear, you have to CARE to know about such important historical figures in order to understand the history behind them and the outcomes of their actions. Especially within such a sensitive topic. It's when stories like this are ignored or forgotten, that history tends to repeat itself. The fact that I care to spell Hernán Cortés well has not the respectful positive connotation they think, either. And despite what you may believe, we Spaniards do NOT think he did everything right and much less that he was a hero. I think some Mexicans think we all do, but I don't know why. Only the most idiotic "fachas" (ultraright people) do.

4.3. One, he was not enslaved (tell you more later). Two, well, since he tried to mass-murder the inhabitants of the city, I... I do reckon putting him away was a good ending. Jesus, he tried to purge the city of citizens HE deemed unworthy in the name of a divine power (=on a religious basis) with the clear intention to wipe them out. It's clearly stated more than once throughout the movie. If you didn't know, by objective definition, the name of that starts with 'G' and ends with 'ENOCIDE'. And when that failed, he actively tried to drive the colonizers to them. Only because of that, he was technically much more of a genocider than the historical Cortés ever was. Are his actions really justified just because he's indigenous? Doesn't he deserve a punishment just because of it? I see "slavery" (if it were. Since enslaving NA in Spanish colonies was illegal at the time, I'd say he was kidnapped, in the strict sense of the word. Bit funny to word it like that) as a punishment more than fitting for his crimes. I think you all should drill this into your head: ANY abusive leader involved in (I can't believe I'm going to say this, but socially unacceptable) murder deserves to be punished in some way independently of his race, ethnicity or religion. This is something I believe firmly, so you have very little room to debate with me on this one. Do try, if you want.

By the way, I LOVE Tzekel-kan to death. Just the way he is. A charismatic, fanatical, sociopathic fictional high priest who tried to cleanse his city in the name of his gods through murder and human sacrifice, a practice that the other NA inhabitants very obviously did NOT enjoy (well, that definitely rings a historical bell). If you hadn't noticed, or perhaps thought it was impossible, let me tell you this: you can actually love evil characters without justifying their actions. It's legal. 100%. Unlike slavery in NA Spanish colonies at the time.

5. I don't see exactly how spirituality is portrayed as evil. More specifically, I don't see how the movie's actual magic is considered Aztec spirituality. Not a fan nor a hater of Hazbin Hotel, but I've seen one of the demon characters around Twitter using literal voodoo in a very unthoughtfully wrong way. That's a big no-no, in my opinion. And I see a clear difference with this because there is nothing in the stone jaguar magic that single-handedly resembles what Aztec religion actually was. I'm not saying this can't be done in a wrong way with indigenous NA spirituality, nor that they didn't take elements from it (they did), I just think that with all the context behind the movie, here it's just magic that serves a plot function. Aesthetic Aztec/Maya patterns appear here and there, arguably because those are the "places" where it's geographically based (and because Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, who was the religious spiritual leader who received the Quetzalcóatl premonition), but at the end of the day, I don't think it's much more than the fantasy you typically find in a kids' movie. No specific religion was portrayed as evil, no specific gods were portrayed as evil, the magic in itself wasn't portrayed as evil. In the movie, it was black magic because Tzekel-kan, who was evil, used it for evil. Who says that a giant stone cat can ONLY serve evil purposes? I'd use it for good, personally. Maybe transportation. Maybe architecture. Decoration. Festivities. (CW: 26-year-old making a boomer joke) Maybe to instill cordial fear among my neighbours.

EDIT: I've been thinking about this these days and I realised that in the specific stone jaguar "spell", Tzekel-kan needs to toss his poor aide into the mix for it to "activate". That is much more evil than neutral, so maybe I can kind of see this point now. And human sacrifice was part of some of these religions, after all, so maybe it does point towards Aztec spirituality. Still, as it didn't come off as evil to me until I've THOROUGHLY thought about it, I feel like questioning things. Does the "spell" need a human body, or an animal body would have served? The "recipe" doesn't state anything. It's Tzekel-kan who pushes him in. Do ALL the "spells" need a body to "activate"? Maybe not. I feel like maybe I can give you a part of this argument. But still... Hmm. I don't know. We were stuck with an evil religious high priest, but that doesn't necessarily mean ONLY he could use magic. Nor that ALL the magic was evil. But yeah, alright. I can sort of see this now... a bit.

6. I can give you this... for the most part. Knowing it mirrors history, and that historically, it was white men who rid the NA people enslaved by the Aztec Empire (which I believe is what the people of El Dorado ended up portraying, somehow oppressed by Tzekel-kan's sacrifices) of the Aztec Empire (even if woefully just to take their place), I'm not sure it's so simple. I still don't fully see it as plain white saviour narrative with that background info. In any case, I think my mind can be changed about this with the right argumentation. Surely not by a person who has no knowledge about history. Sorry, op.

7.1. For my next trick, I'll blow your mind: Cortés was no big bad evil genocider. He wasn't a golden-hearted saint or saviour either. Frankly, I believe most people think he was similar to Christopher Columbus (of whom I don't know as much, but sounds pretty 100% evil to me with what I have) by default. I'm also very certain they watched the movie and took that version of him as a faithful representation, but in reality he was very different. He was short, he was slender, he was way more charismatic, way less solemn and serious, and he had the reputation of a womanizer. He committed atrocities, like torturing and murdering the last Huey Tlatoani for rumours (Jesus, the Cholula massacre), but he also treated most indigenous people with respect (when he wasn't pathologically obsessed with gold), he talked with Moctezuma as if he were his kin, he always tried to negotiate before grabbing his arms, he listened to and followed the advice of an indigenous woman (Malinche). And once he had done the deed, his reputation was sunk, he was stripped of most of his titles and compensation for what he had done (karma? Possibly), and he had practically no say in the new territories. He went there for the gold above all, and all the crimes he committed were in its name. But unlike Miguel and Tulio (this is the reason why they're not colonizers, only looters), he ALSO wanted to seize control of the land for the Spanish Empire. As an anti-colonialist Spaniard, I can't help boiling up in anger every time I see someone call Miguel and Tulio colonizers. They are NOT coloziners, just like we are NOT colonizers. Our country was, hundreds of years ago. The people who claimed that land as theirs and believed that gave them the right to exploit it for centuries were. And believe me, if we're still here and have descended from humble families for more than 5 centuries, none of our ancestors saw a single piece of gold.

7.2. This is part of a broader topic but Cortés acted in the name of the Spanish Empire, who, thanks to Queen Isabella the Catholic and the laws she passed, considered NA people as citizens of the Crown and therefore could not be enslaved (legally), not to mention genocided. Physically genocided, I mean, because the cultural genocide is undeniable. And still, while so many parts of so many different cultures disappeared, some things like the Maya and Nahua languages were kept. Even if little, that means something. I find some comfort in that, especially when you take a look at what happened to indigenous people in British colonies. In relation to this, there's this something that's been haunting Spain since a thousand years ago that gains relevance when talking about this, called the Spanish Black Legend. Basically anti-Spain propaganda coming from other European countries demonizing everything the country had done/does. It started out of rivalry and envy. Nowadays, it's hard to say. This is why Hernán Cortés is always seen as an evil genocider, but not other colonizers like Julius Caesar from the Roman Empire. It also makes my blood curdle because it sticks with us in the most annoying ways possible. While American people tend to think Spain is part of Latin America, European people tend to think we're dumb, don't know other languages apart from Spanish and only like partying, and our collective international sentiment, especially facing other Europeans, is often shame. Ashamed to say you're from Spain, because there's only so many "España mucho fiesta and siesta" a sane person can take from people who only come to your country to raise the living costs, drink, sunbathe and throw themselves off balconies to jump in hotel pools. Look "balconing" up. God I HATE British people. In any case, to wrap this up, this Black Legend is also why everyone believes the Spanish colonization was the same as the British colonization. By norm, the British predated, but the Spanish generated (in America, because the Spanish DID enslave African people), despite all the horrible things it did. Because it did them.

Lastly, and just because it was also part of op's response, I want to say that I have no opinion about what negative impact this movie could have in terms of being a version of the Colombian legend of El Dorado. I don't know anything about that. I don't understand it, either. If someone wants to explain to me in which specific ways making a movie like this about it could be harmful to anyone (not the legend in itself, I think you can see I know as much), please tell me so I can think critically about it and contrast it. But please, specify the harm and consequences so I can understand them.

Jesus, I'm tired, but I want to say you CAN dislike the movie. I don't give two floating specks of dust whether you do or don't. What I do care about is that most arguments people use to say so are wrong, or rather, lack historical knowledge to support them. Or rather, there is historical knowledge which flat-out cancels them out. There IS negative portrayal on the basis of unthoughtfulness (like Chel and the Aila test), but NEVER in a mean way. On the whole, it's not the unsalvageable blatantly racist skeleton that has to be kept in the closet under lock and key that some people think it is. And, by the way, I'm very curious about why I have yet to see the same discourse about Inca portrayal in "The Emperor's New Groove". Feel free to toss it my way in case it exists and it's just I haven't seen it yet.

If you've reached this point, congratulations. Here's a disturbing little fact about me as a reward: this whole fixation that I have started because in 2020 I had a dream about this Hernán Cortés and Tzekel-kan having sex.

#the road to el dorado #dreamworks #el dorado #racism #chel #tzekel kan #tzekel-kan #miguel and tulio #hernán cortés #neechees #tagging you as well in hopes to reach you. kinda growing fond of you #you go after my little meow meow who did nothing wrong #viva españa hostia #viva vigo. cagon tal #franco franco que tiene el culo blanco

[purpurussy]

literally haven't eaten anything all day (it's gone 7pm) or been outside in several days or slept more than 4 hours/night in the last week so im probably just being insane for no reason atm but

i feel like I'm at a weird sort of crossroads with this blog?

when i made this account i saw it as kind of an experiment in vulnerability and positivity. i said i'm gonna try my best to post what's in my heart and not care whether it does numbers or not. if people like it they like it, if not that's okay because i like it and i'm having fun. and i'm gonna practise some kind of general radical positivity/acceptance towards others too. like i promised myself i would not allow this to be anything other than a positive experience, a nice opportunity to express myself in a way that's disconnected from how people see me irl and maybe connect with likeminded people along the way

and once i started writing fic i literally couldn't stop, like the idea of being able to share my writing and have other people enjoy it too is so exciting and motivating to me. there is so much happening in my google docs atm and it feels so good to be writing again after years of feeling too depressed to create anything

however unfortunately i am the grumpiest most insecure person on earth and i have never let go of anything in my life. i've already been unable to stop myself from wading into discourse™ and the general social media fomo/insecurity is starting to get to me. like when did i go from just gleefully shouting into the void, to constantly checking my activity, trying to figure out the best times to post, literally crying when my stuff doesn't do as well as i wanted it to??? taking note of which posts flopped and which ones did well, so i can post more of the popular content instead of just posting what i want. none of this is even real, yet it's been bothering me in a very real way. most of which is just my brain turning it into a negative experience for fully self-imposed reasons

i do think social media is poison in general. and i know it does not work at all for someone who is very prone to having a complete menty b at the first sign of any kind of rejection. and i know a big part of the problem is that i'm attaching too much value to this blog and how people respond to my posts (I have been connecting with my friends irl more lately, but social media is literally designed to prey on the part of your brain that perceives social rejection as a threat to your existence so unfortunately it feels like this matters to me a lot more than it should. also my irls do not want to hear about dan and phil lmao)

idk if i should just accept that this is not good for me and delete, or if it's possible to once again achieve the carefree fun i was having at first. maybe if i can work on my irl issues i'll start to feel a bit better and then it won't bother me as much?

i'm also sort of wondering how much i should reveal about myself? like i want to feel completely free to post as much cringe/insanity/weird smut as I want. and if i was posting in a way that would be easily traceable back to my actual identity then i'd definitely be a lot more careful with what i say. but on the other hand i wanna get to know people better! it would be fun to hop into a discord and actually have a conversation with people rather than just rambling in the tags on their posts. so i'm not really sure what to do with that either. it's kinda fun to truly exist as a completely formless entity in a way, like im literally just tumblr dot com slash purpurussy and there's something freeing about that, even if it does make me feel like i'm missing out on a chance to connect with people properly sometimes

also that idea scares me! everyone on here is genuinely so cool and wonderful and it gives me such a huge dopamime hit when someone i admire likes my stuff. so it's just scary to interact with people more because it feels like oh no they're gonna realize im actually a cantankerous little troll that lives under a bridge and is a nightmare to talk to lmfao

this makes no sense and i'll probably delete it in a bit i just had to get it off my chest

#dnp are literally god's strongest soldiers i would've probably killed myself a thousand times over if i lived like them honestly. #i am literally just actually posting on social media for the first time in my life and it's already given me a new flavor of mental illness #vent post #ask to tag #anyway yeah this is fully just me being silly and mentally ill and i'll probably delete it later #mine

[just-antithings]

Hello. I'm a gay trans man, and I wanted to provide a few of my thoughts on the disc horse surrounding MLM fetishization in fandoms. Of course, my fandom experience is very limited, so if anyone else disagrees with me or has had different experiences, that is okay and I respect that. Now, with that out of the way, let me get to my main point:

The discourse surrounding MLM fetishization makes me, a literal gay man, feel unsafe and unwelcome. This is because as a trans man I exist in a world that believes I am predatory for existing, and as a gay man I too exist in a world that believes I am predatory for existing. These two parts of my identity that I'm regularly ostracized for intersect in this disc horse, where people claim that they are protecting trans people AND protecting gay men, but by doing so they are punching down on gay trans men and throwing us under the bus.

Let me elaborate. Before I even knew I was trans, I regularly read MLM fanfic and consumed media that featured those types of relationships. Obviously now, I was drawn to that media because I'm trans. Before I realized I was trans, was I fetishizing gay men?

Of course not, because even if I didn't know it at the time, I was one.

Now, let's consider this scenario. Let's say, hypothetically, that I knew I was trans, but for whatever reason I did not want to come out online. So would I, a closeted trans man going by she/her, be fetishizing gay men?

Of course not, because I am one.

Here's the even bigger issue. The majority of non-transmascs online have biases that lead them to view transmascs as both men and women, applying the worst stereotypes of both binary genders to us whenever convenient. People in very progressive spaces that talk about fetishization and things like that are unfortunately no different. They've internalized TEHM rhetoric. This means that they'll view transmascs enjoying fanfic about gay men as the same as women enjoying fanfic about gay men, and I've literally been told to my face by progressives that that's how they see me.

However, it's even worse than that. Since cis women don't experience transphobia on a systemic level like trans people do, trans men are treated worse than cis women in this fetishization disc horse because we have both misogyny and transphobia used against us to shut us up and gatekeep us out of existence. The people acting like women invading gay men's spaces are a serious issue and fearmongering about them are using a dogwhistle against trans men. Just because you say that you include gay trans men in your definition of gay men doesn't mean you've taken the time to unlearn your transphobia or learn about how you can avoid spreading dogwhistles.

And when I call out any of these issues in fandom disc horse about MLM fetishization? Either people pretend they do not see me talk about it, or they respond by acting like I'm downplaying their trauma from "horrible women invading the poor men's spaces :("

Like, I'm literally gay. I've experienced my fair share of homophobia from straight women and I speak out about it often. There are ways to critique women for the ways in which they benefit from homophobia, but trying to gatekeep them from enjoying a certain genre of fanfic Ain't It. None of these people I've seen who hate trans men and AFAB nonbinary people have actually called out a straight woman for doing something genuinely homophobic. The cis people doing this are using the fetishization disc horse as a cover for their transphobia, and if it's a woman who is allied with these TEHM-lites, they're usually doing this to pretend to themselves and others that they care about gay men while not giving a shit about us.

I've had to argue about this with cis women. It's really telling that some cis women won't listen to a trans gay man talk about his own experiences and thoughts on homophobia. It's almost like they don't see us as real gay men and feel justified in speaking over us.

And there are definitely trans men that fearmonger about fetishization, but as far as I've seen, they generally seem to be under 18 and usually change their views quickly. The ones that don't change their views upon me talking to them usually hold truscum beliefs. One that I've spoken to thinks that anyone who's a real gay trans man was against "fujoshits" from before he came out and no real gay trans man would ever touch MLM content. Great job pretending like there's one behavior or trait that marks transness! That's literally truscum koolaid.

I know that there are other reasons that the fetishization disc horse is bad, especially anti-Asian racism, and the blatant misogyny, but I think I've said enough.

.

#mod erin #ask #posted without comment #just anti things #just exclusionist things

[misc-obeyme]

Anon who'd discussed the use of the word 'psychotic' here- I know that I was terse when I sent that anon, and I apologize for that.

It mainly comes from having friends who experience psychosis and are thus targets of that kind of stigma/stereotype, and I'm also known to be generally blunt. Still, I certainly could have said it better.

I don't and did not believe that you already knew the implications of the word or were using it that way intentionally, and I appreciate the fact that you were willing to listen to the point regardless.

To the person in replies who said, verbatim, "every word is offensive at this point." (Which, I'd like to note, I don't blame you for, misc. Just wanted to address it because I know others are going to react the same way.)

Not every word is offensive, no. But when you use a word that directly refers to someone with a disability and you use it to generalize about everyone with that disability and imply everyone with psychosis is a horrible awful person, I'd say that's pretty fucking ableist, no?

Hi there, anon.

I appreciate the apology. But I do recommend thinking more carefully about the anon messages you send in the future, especially on a topic like this.

I'm a writer. I know how powerful words and language can be. As such, I always do my best not to use my words to harm people. It's something I'm careful about and something I care about in general.

That's why I was able to listen to your point at all. Because I cared more about the people I was possibly harming than I did about how you made me feel. I almost didn't respond at all, but decided I'd rather fix the mistake than leave it.

The fact is, I am very open and receptive to these sorts of corrections. Like I said, I already make an effort to mitigate this kind of thing. I would never knowingly perpetuate harm in this way. But I'm also human. And I make mistakes. I'm happy to be told when I make them so I can fix them.

But most people are not like me. And I can promise you that the way you presented your argument would have shut someone down to where they wouldn't even listen to the point. And you wouldn't have accomplished your goal at all.

And because you're anonymous, I don't know if you're someone who has been following me for a long time or just happened upon my post in the tags, you know? To me, it feels like someone random just coming at me without knowing me at all.

I understand that you want to protect your friends, but it's also important to recognize that presenting things in that manner is not helpful. Especially when you're talking to someone who already agrees with you.

Lastly, I am going to say that I consider this topic closed. You pointed out that this word is harmful, I agreed and edited my use of it. If you want to discuss things with people who are commenting on that post, please don't do it through anon asks. You can respond to them off anon in the comments, but I won't act as a go between for discourse.

Due to this, I am also going to delete any anon asks that I have since gotten that are about the discussion around this word. This isn't specific to this person, but just a general notice to all anons: if you have sent me an ask or send me an ask that's about this or that includes this word, I will delete it.

My stance is always to listen to people who are harmed by words that have been used against them. I have no problem accepting that I've made a mistake and fixing it. If I ever use a word that is actively harmful to people, I can promise you it's because I was unaware of the impact of it. In such a case, please feel free to let me know. I would rather be told than continue to use it. All I ask is that you afford me some grace and treat me with a little more kindness.

#there is a reason I don't actively engage in discourse in general #but when it's brought to me directly I will address it #however I think my stance on this is pretty clear at this point #anon asks #misc answers

[chronicallyqueercoining2]

IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THIS BIG LONG POST, SCROLL TO THE VERY BOTTOM BELOW THE DIVIDER IMAGE!!! <3!

Y'all please stop sending bad things to my inbox 💀

My asks are for requests, not for your weird frustrations in regards to my page and beliefs!!

I'd also like to clarify, unless it is a VERY important matter, or a matter in which I feel the need to respond, I probably won't respond to these rude/weird asks! Especially if someone is saying something bad/weird (/neg) as an anon. (Anon asks are OK! WHEN THEY RELATE TO MY REQUESTS OR ARE NICE THINGS :3!)

I would love requests related to what I said I'd do as a request in my pinned post! Other than that, my inbox is truly for asks!! (with the exception of kind words and nice questions, etc!)

But just this once, I will answer questions that I've been asked, albeit indirectly, because I want to just get it out there. This is the last time I will interact with those bad asks in any way!

I will NOT vilify any REAL disorder or condition unless you are harming someone and proud of it. Past harmful behaviors that are being WORKED on do not concern me, do not involve me in them. IF you feel my page is not a safe space for you or a place you'd like to interact with, then don't! I do not want you on my page if you will feel unwelcome!!!

This is supposed to be a place where you will feel comfortable and welcome. Please only interact to both of our comfort levels. If you feel safe and comfortable and welcome interacting, then be my guest!! I love seeing new blogs pop up, and sooooooo many people have been so sweet! (Honestly, some of yall are just so nice, I'm smiling over here!)

Also, I do not care if you think I am "really disabled" or if you believe me regarding my disorders/illnesses/etc. You are not my doctor, your validations OR invalidations regarding my health does not affect me.

Something about me or my page or my communities is obviously affecting you if you need to send me hate. In that instance, I recommend you to get off the internet, for at least a bit, and find and/or do something you enjoy. You deserve to feel happy, but you will not find that by sending me mean things on my page. My health and happiness are my own, and I will simply ignore your hate.

A reminder

PLEASE do not start discourse on my page, whether that be syscourse or identity discourse or any other sort of discourse. It is draining. I do have my opinions on all of these things, but this blog is not about that.

[Pt: PLEASE do not start discourse on my page, whether that be syscourse or identity discourse or any other sort of discourse. It is draining. I do have my opinions on all of these things, but this blog is not about that. End pt]

Thank you, and you deserve to be happy, sending love and joy to anyone reading this. I hope you're having a good [timezone.]

PS: if you sent an ask/request before, please resend it if possible! My inbox was being weird and I accidentally deleted a few things!

I'm looking forward to hearing from you :3!

#cqc post #long post #boundaries #inbox #requests open #cqc info #cqc boundaries #cqc abt me

[destinyc1020]

people always wanna say 'so and so is the biggest' and etc etc meanwhile you never really saw that in the past, so why would that be the truth now? people like leo and cruise and denzel and tom hanks and brad pitt and so on and so on all achieved success at similar times and there wasn't this fight for 'one' to be the most successful.

and i dont necessarily think timmy is the most successful out of his group either, you got tom up there right with him with absolutely insane box office achievements and more to come (and don't underestimate his critical success either, he's had it with the impossible, spidey, tdatt, tcr given his nom from critics), austin had a great year (and dang with masters of air, bikeriders, and dune he's about to have another one!), paul mescal, charles melton, kelvin harrison jr, ncuti gatwa (also in masters of air and the new doctor who i really hope we'll see him a lot more), and the list goes on and on

i think timmy's team is pretty anxious to have him be #1 based on how defensive his agent is to respond to online discourse, but the truth is that's just not happening. he will have a moment, and then he won't because someone else will. tom will have another moment where we'll get articles saying he's the top star of his gen again just like after uncharted, and then he'll have an ebb in between projects. same for every actor i've listed and i'm sure more who will have unexpected highs coming up. it would be so incredibly BORING for there to be a 'king' of a generation! it's never happened and it won't ever happen either. i'm here for diversity, i'm here for all these actors making moves and entertaining us, and i hope no one is expecting there to be the 'one' cause there won't be. and that's a GOOD thing!

Giiiiirlllll you and I are like THIS 🤞🏾 on this topic.

Give me diversity ANY day of the week!

I don't want any sole actor to be my one-stop-shop for all things and everything film-related. I think that's so much pressure to put on ONE actor. I like films in general. And I like a variety of actors and actresses... all for various different reasons.

Give me diversity. 😊