//hellooooo friends. so last night I was pretty decently drunk, and I love that even though I was with friends irl, I was still thinking about being here XD while it was nice to take a night off from writing, I’m certainly itching to come back tonight. we’re probably going to the ripley’s aquarium, then I’d like to come back home & be here so fingers crossed all goes according to plan//
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one of the things I wasn't prepared for as a trans person in a big industry was the absolutely OVERWHELMING emotions around being accepted for who I am. ;__; some highlights from the past couple months:
a prominent speaker at a UK media company showing my work to his son, casually saying: "Do you like this picture? Ewan drew it." I've never spoken to this man, but he respects me enough to not only show my work to his child - but to future students as well. these kids are going to grow up knowing the work of a publicly trans artist, and with any luck it will be normal to them.
Tilt Five publicly replying to my TDOV post with THIS, from their official corporate account.
Tilt Five also featuring me in a blog post on their website, and using they/them pronouns!!!!
and even more Tilt Five positivity: being INVITED TO DEMO IN-PERSON AT GDC FOR HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. I'm in this picture but you can barely see me because of the crowd. again, I'm visibly trans here - long hair, stubble, voice deepened by testosterone... and it was a non-issue.
and lastly: not only being able to publicly fundraise for LGBTQ+ causes like the Club Q healing fund without fear, but actually receiving support & donations from my employer while I do so. technically, I get PAID to fundraise as long as I use Figmin XR, like with Cover The World With Flowers!
and that's just a handful of examples!!! there was also the whole getting accepted into AR House thing (where I'm one of MULTIPLE trans people in the community), and then PERFORMING LIVE at the Marriott HQ, and then my art making it onto Adam Savage's youtube channel???!?!
I keep saying this, but I legitimately don't have words for the level of gratitude I feel. I've had other trans folks reach out and say that my visibility gives them courage, which makes me want to fight even harder to show that trans joy is REAL and POSSIBLE and that there is still so much love, despite everything.
I don't want to take for granted that it is still very much radical to just exist publicly as a trans person - and even more radical to exist publicly as a HAPPY trans person. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared being in this position, but at least I know I'm not alone. there are still so many good people fighting for us.
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sniffling and crying downloading 10 pdfs of dnd lore books so I can read about the universe so I can accurately write about it. start crying even more when I have a lore question and the reddit conversation reads like "you fucking idiot this was contradicted 15 years ago!" "idk ask your DM you can do what you want" "ACTUALLY you cannot do what you want. read THIS book--" "okay well larian plays fast and loose with the lore anyways." "kill yourself." "okay."
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Listen! Tharn has horrific trust issues and doesn't trust anyone, not just Phaya okay!
Like he clearly doesn't even trust Yai and the Abbot because of his issues! Because yes he knows Yai, basically his brother, believes Phaya would rather die than hurt Tharn so much he flat out told Phaya he can't die cause he already gave him Tharn to protect. And yes he knows the Abbot, who raised him, has continuously told him he needs to fully trust Phaya will take care of him. But he has trust issues okay! Those just don't go away! He can't just trust Phaya okay!
Though he does trust Chalothon and thinks he's a good guy. Even when he knew about Phaya's dreams that only Tharn knew about and basically accused Phaya of losing his mind, clinically, in front of everyone at their work at a crime scene. But it obviously makes complete sense he trusts him implicitly and never questions anything cause he's known him his whole life! That's not something you can just throw aside for some boyfriend, soulmate or not, you know!
But then, wait...why doesn't he trust Yai and the Abbot the same?
But I'm glad he knows Chalothon is the problem now. Sucks for him about everything because of it. Hope it works out for him in the one remaining episode. Don't really care either way anymore regardless.
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Intersectionality is not like math
It not like being trans gives you +1 oppression and being a man gives you -1 oppression
Intersectionality is like chemistry
you add being transgender to being a man and you get a completely different chemical (experience)
it may have some of the properties of the parts it is made up of, but its ultimately its own thing
and no identity is neutral
Growing up rural vs urban is a part of the cocktail of your experience, even if that isnt something you would bring up about yourself when talking about your identity
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