#LIKE SHES BORN INTO SLAVERY AND SHE DIES IN SLAVERY SHE LOSES EVERYTHING HER SON IS GONE SHES MARRIED TO HER SLAVE MASTER SHE DIES IN PAIN

[bcitisthelight]

hey remember when we were discussing how weird the whole cliegg thing is in AOTC. and you had thoughts, feelings and emotions. tell me about those XOXO

(Big TW for this post - I discuss human trafficking, sex trafficking, rape, child abuse, slavery, and PTSD in this post. It's about the realities of slavery and Tatooine and how it involves the Skywalkers.) Something that I almost never see in any discussion on the Lars family is how sharply the fanon headcanons and characterizations of diverge from the ones we get in the moves. Like, particularly Cliegg and the prequel trilogy. Like - I feel like there's this automatic assumption that the Lars loved Shmi and that they cared for Luke out of dedication to her and her family, and it's this huge found family vibe but like can I be real. Can I be super real right now. It’s something that I find kind of baffling, because when I watched Attack of the Clones, and on every rewatch since (and there have been many), it always seems kind of obvious to me that Cliegg bought Shmi as a slave, presumably as a house slave, if not outright as a part of sex trafficking. And I don't mean in one of those "He bought her to free her, he's a good guy, etc etc". I mean, he bought her as a slave with the original intention of keeping her as a slave. And what's really interesting, is you can get pretty much all the clues about that from the exchanges between Anakin has with Watto, his and Shmi's former master.

Again, I want to stress that, because I think it's crucial that we see this for what it is - not an exchange between a former employee and his boss, not an exchange between a kid and a member of his former community. His former slavemaster. The man who won him and his mother in a gambling game like so many fancy necklaces. The source and object of Anakin's childhood enslavement. Watto would have beaten them. He made Anakin, a child of 9 - and I read somewhere once that Anakin started in the races at 6 - ride in a pod race that no human has ever won before, with the full expectation that he would die. This is a being whose entire life has revolved around the certainty that society is not only capable of functioning, but functions best, when sentient beings can be bought and sold like property. And, to be real with you, because this is a thing that happens to people who suffer enslavement, he very likely loaned them out temporarily for sex trafficking purposes for a quick buck - a practice that is noted historically in virtually every society that operated on a system involving slaves.

It's important to recap that, because I do think it's impossible to understand how deeply horrifying the conversation they have is without that context. Like, let's look at how he tells Anakin about Shmi -

This scene is....so telling to me. From the outset, Watto said he sold her as a slave. Like, it was a slave exchange. Watto heard about her freedom later - clearly, Cliegg bought her, and behaved in a way - intentional or not - that Watto believed he was buying her as a slave to own as a slave. That part is not subtext, that's just actual text.

"But Mikhayla" some will say "he freed her the second he bought her - he bought her in order to free her." Except....there is genuinely nothing in the movies, and off the top of my head, the wider narrative, that ever indicates that that's true. In fact it makes no sense in that case, for Watto to have not known that Cliegg was buying her in order to free her. Why would he have to hide that? Watto presumably doesnt care what happens to her, because he's selling her. In the larger materials, its said that his shop fell on hard times, and in the movies, we can see the proof. The script says he's sitting outside his shop, but at that point it resembles more of a kind of beaten down stand. He's still selling junk, but less and of poorer quality - presumably, he's spent all his money on gambling debts. And the thing is, slaves are expensive. He sold her years prior, and I bet he fed himself on that money for a very long time - he was a very motivated seller, as barbaric as that language is to use about a transaction involving a human person. He's not going to be fussy over why the person buying her wants to buy her. There's also the fact that this is a society that vastly runs on slavery, and large plantation owners would often "rent" out slaves to smaller but still profitable farms. And Cliegg is a moisture farmer with presumably a large tract of land for water vaporizers. If anything, I can see Watto having rented Shmi to her, Cliegg taking a liking to her, and then approaching Watto to buy her. I mean, if he's profitable enough to just buy a slave, then he clearly had at least some money. "He spent his whole savings!" Show me that in the text. "He loved her from the start!" Show me that in the text. "But Mikhayla," yet others will say, "he did free her! And then married her! He clearly meant from the start to free her, and only bought her to get her away from Watto. He could have never seen her as property. Who would marry their slave?" Except, in the real world, this is...another thing we see across multiple historical records, masters buying women as slaves and then later freeing them in order to legally marry them. PARTICULARLY in societies that operate so heavily on an entire caste system involving slaves - we can look to the Roman Empire, for example. Countless Roman officials, merchants, and military officials bought women, fell in love with them, and freed them in order to marry them. "But maybe she said yes!" (I know these are not your objections, but as you know, I'm an attorney, which means I constantly have to find an argument to fight against). So, to this imaginary detractor I say: I feel like it should be rather obvious, but I'll say it just in case - it is impossible for a slave to consent to any action they perform at the request of a slave master. It cannot happen. A woman who is enslaved cannot consent to marrying the man who bought her, and who has very likely been raping her up until this point, and wants to now marry her - usually, to make any children he had by her legally his children, and therefore citizens, rather than slaves themselves.

So really, whether or not Cliegg had a change of heart doesn't actually change my mind about his actions towards Shmi. I don't care if Cliegg DID love her - in fact, I'm sure he DID love her. People can and have convinced themselves of all kinds of moral superiority, people can claim to love someone while owning them as property! Shmi could never consent to marrying a man who held her as a slave. Even if he freed her, and she willing chose to stay there for a few years, and then he asked her to marry him. In my head, you can't overcome that power imbalance. Cliegg will never not be a man who once believed Shmi was a thing to be owned. He will never be a man who didn't see her as property. Like, at some point, it actually becomes kind of more and more unlikely that this is a guy who took up this transaction for non-malicious purposes. Because we simply do not see it in the movie. What I see in the movie is a slave owner saying he fell on hard times and sold his slave to a farmer who probably needed help on his land or in his house - he has no wife, so the latter is probably more likely. I see him saying that at the time of the transaction, he had no idea that Cliegg intended to free her. And for all that Cliegg calls Shmi his darling, his love, his wife - not once do we ever hear of any evidence that Shmi saw this as a love match. In fact, the only thing we find out about her daily life with the Lars family is that in the mornings, she wakes up early and goes to pick mushrooms. You know. A task for the house. An unpleasant task, done before everyone else is awake, that she does absolutely alone. I'm just saying. These implications are not good ones. I will say though, for all this, do you know what really sells me on the idea that the relationship between Shmi and Cliegg is is not a consensual one, is Anakin's reaction to it. This is a boy whose entire hopes and dreams have revolved around his mother's freedom. You have more excellent writing than me on this, but the moral injury Anakin suffers leaving his mother behind is. Intense. All he wants is to one day free her. In a way, a part of him is always that tiny boy who couldn't bear the idea of leaving behind his mom, who swore, the last time he saw her, that he would free her. And at this moment, all of his dreams have seemingly come true! His mother is free. According to Watto, she's found love, and married. For all he knows, she's had other children. Maybe that could involve SOME complicated emotions, but mostly you would expect that he would feel, at the very least, relieved. Happy. Interested, curious. Instead, this is his reaction:

He's grim, business like. He is not happy. He is not relieved. He doesn't even seem to acknowledge that she's still alive - the way he reacts is not a man who thinks his mother is out of danger. To Anakin, who grew up enslaved until 9 and knows how this society works, it seems almost immediately apparent that the Lars are just a different kind of danger. There's also this rather interesting detail:

This is a boy who bleeds, every second of every day, longing for a family. He basically begs at obi-wan's feet day and night, to be acknowledged as a son. His reaction to his wife's pregnancy is radiant joy - his reaction to know she could die, profound existential horror. I mean good god, he basically turns Palpatine aka Satan Himself into a father figure, because he's that desperate for one. And here, this man is claiming him as his family. He's talked about being excited to see him. He talks about planning with Shmi to meet him. He calls him "son". And Anakin doesn't give him another moment of his time, the second those words are out of his mouth. It's silence. For a boy who is so starved for intimacy he genuinely falls in love with the very first girl who was ever nice to him, to react to a claim of relationship this way. It's bizarrely out of character for him. Unless it isn't. UNLESS he's disgusted by that claim, instead of relieved by it. If he thinks his mother has been bought and then forced into marriage, of course he hates Cliegg. I remember when we were watching the movie together, and remember I said to you "You can just tell Anakin is thinking, 'Call me son one more fucking time'" And can I be real, I have so much more to say about this. As you know, I actually have essays of opinions and feelings about Shmi Skywalker and her horrible life, and how Anakin was the one bright point she had in that horrible life. I have feelings about how she gave away her only happiness, because she knew he did not deserve the life of a slave. I had ideas about how you could turn this into a way to actually fix AOTC and make it better, a way you could use it as an excuse to get rid of the Tusken arc entirely without losing the tragedy of his mother's death. But this post is already so fucking long and I'm sure you're tired of me talking xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

#star wars #human trafficking tw #abuse tw #csa tw #rape tw #slavery tw #all the trigger warnings #GOD THIS MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE SHMI SKYWALKER #BECAUSE SHE HAD JUST #THE SHITTIEST LIFE RIGHT #LIKE SHES BORN INTO SLAVERY AND SHE DIES IN SLAVERY SHE LOSES EVERYTHING HER SON IS GONE SHES MARRIED TO HER SLAVE MASTER SHE DIES IN PAIN #BUT HER LOVE FOR ANAKIN WAS SO GOOD #SO INTENSELY AFFECTIONATE AND VALIDATING #EVEN IN ALL THAT HELL #THAT WHEN ITS RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM FOR GOOD ANAKIN BASICALLY LOSES HIMSELF ENTIRELY

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post! #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

[itsuki-minamy]

PROFILE: HISUI NAGARE

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

Real name: Hisui Nagare

Terms of address: Nagare, Nagare-chan, H.N. (Nickname in Jungle)

[PROFILE]

Birthday: November 11, Scorpio

Blood type: A

Age: 25 years. (At the beginning of the second season.)

[APPEARANCE]

Physique: 1.75 cm in height. Slightly thin guy.

Face, hair: Beautiful eyes. Pale skin.

Attire: Straitjacket.

Personal effects: Wheelchair.

[HABITS, SKILLS]

· He has a habit of saying "～Desu".

· Power of the information system through the network and strong capacity of the lightning system.

· It has the property of "modifying" and "rewriting" forcibly the functions and properties of various objects and spaces.

[IMPRESSION, OTHER NOTES]

· The image color is "green".

· A mysterious young man who has "restlessness" and "beauty".

· The "king of the networks" who controls the clan "Jungle", which is lost in the general public, from behind.

· A powerful and unknown "King" who challenges Munakata and Shiro.

[POSITION, OBJECTIVES]

The green King who leads the Green Clan, "Jungle".

He is the administrator of the SNS site “Jungle”, which is widespread in the general public, and has registered ordinary people as members of the clan. Those who have signed up for "Jungle" have been given temporary intellects via the PDA, and they are acting as game pieces throughout the mission.

He promotes the Dresden Slate liberation plan to "give strength and freedom to all mankind". The strongest "King" Kokujoji, the sword was released by Daikaku's death, and his activities became large-scale and swift.

[PERSONALITY, CONDUCT]

He believes that all humans must "buy their ambitions at their own risk".

He is good at manipulating people as he wishes, but is the result of observation and experimentation, and his understanding of feelings is poor. Also, there is no desire to rule, and every human who moves like a piece is also a player, and he believes that it is good for them to scratch or betray with their respective ambitions and beliefs.

When there are conflicting interests between individuals, he says, "You can make a decision in the game.". The game is sometimes murder without rules, but the damage associated with the weak does not come to mind. There is a mysterious view of weak meat and strong food as the "basic rule of the world".

An unbalanced spirit with a childish part and a part of a genius that instantly plans and executes a detailed plan.

At the age of ten, he was involved in the Kagutsu incident and his heart was pierced by debris and he died. Immediately after waking up as the "Green King", he changed his "death" to "live" with the power of the "King" and lived. Based on the experience of the Kagutsu incident, he has the doubt that in the world only the "King" has power, and he thinks that all human beings should have power to resist their destiny and open the future.

[FATE, ENDING]

K big boss. Assuming Shiro's (Adolf K. Weismann) "wrong dream", goes forward with the Slate's liberation plan in an attempt to realize "everyone's happiness" by "giving power and freedom to all".

Fighting against Shiro, Munakata, Anna, and others who oppose that idea, once the Slate was released and a world was created where all humans have power, he was defeated in the final battle and the Slate was destroyed, then "death" caught him. He lost the power to change to "live" and died.

[ABILITIES, TACTICS]

He can wield his own power anywhere through the network (it can be said that he has a sanctuary in the form of a tree or neural network).

Specifically, information acquisition, awakening / strengthening of clan member's ability, direct attack via internet equipment (lightning), etc.

Since the body with mortal wounds is maintained with a different ability, it is not possible to use 100% of the ability normally. Therefore, it is based on clandestine activities and does not reveal its whereabouts. However, when it comes to direct combat, he is extremely powerful, using his abilities with the momentum of abandonment.

[POWER]

A + (Major in the "King" class, but the battle time is limited.)

[LIKES]

Liberty. Human.

[DISLIKE]

Slavery.

[HOBBIES]

Human observation.

While he is incapacitated in captive clothing and in a wheelchair underground and cannot move freely, he recognizes that his only freedom is to "see" everything and people through the networks and Kotosaka.

[FASHION]

He basically wears straitjacket. The support garment has a special specification that suppresses powers. As a result, the ever-expanding sanctuary is limited to the body.

[BODY]

The left chest was pierced in the Kagutsu incident, and there was a hole where the heart should be. In the hole, the power of the "Green King" modification is contained, and the power is used to save the body.

The color of the blood is bad, probably because the lost organs are supplemented with a different capacity, but from the body of a 10-year-old boy who died once, it has become an adult male body.

[INTELLIGENCE]

It is very high, but it is also unbalanced due to some childish parts.

[BELIEFS]

An extreme liberal who pursues "freedom for all" to the fullest. Some kind of anarchist.

He believes that the situation in which some people control the power of the Slate is an unfair game. All human beings have power, and each dream is purely of the world in which they survive.

[RELATIONSHIPS]

[EARLY YEARS]

Born to strange robot-like parents, he grew up a strange child, but his parents loved him and he had some friends. All of them and his heart were lost due to the Kagutsu incident.

[TIMELINE]

· 1988, Hisui Nagare was born.

· 1999, July, the Kagutsu Incident, was mortally wounded and awakened as a "Green King".

· 2004, Nagare challenges Kokujoji and loses.

· 2012, he Interferes with the "Colorless King" and be part of the cause of the Gakuenjima incident.

· 2013, October, he plans the first attack on the Mihashira Tower. Withdrawing hands when Anna Kushina awakens, but after shedding information from Mihashira Tower, “Jungle” activities will expand.

· 2013, December, Second attack on the Mihashira Tower (decisive Christmas battle).

· 2014, January, Liberation of the Dresden Slate. After defeating the three Silver, Red, and Blue clans that have been attacked, the player is killed.

[ATTITUDE AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS]

[TERMS OF THE ADDRESS FOR HIMSELF]

The first person is "Ore".

The second person is "Anata", "-kun".

Polite language as a habit. It is a habit to express yourself and express your feelings in the form of "word + desu", "Affirmative" or "Negative".

[TOWARDS IWAFUNE TENKEI]

He calls him "Iwa-san".

Since they have been together since he was 10 years old when he lost all power in the Kagutsu incident and gained the power of a "king", there was a relationship as father and son, where it was natural to be there.

He acknowledges that the underlying idea is different from his, but absolutely trusts as his ally. There is no consciousness of "being used" or "using".

[TOWARDS MISHAKUJI YUKARI]

He calls him "Yukari".

Count on him as a useful member of the clan.

During the mission, Yukari willingly accepts Nagare's "request".

While they are a "King" and "Follower", they are also equal alliances.

Yukaki, a powerful free man, does not fundamentally need Nagare's presence, but follows him with some kind of interest and selects a master-slave relationship.

[TOWARDS GOJOU SUKUNA]

He calls him "Sukuna".

The same relationship as the bad guys. A friend who really plays the same game and has the same dream.

He sympathized with Sukuna, who tried to escape from the parental-ruled environment and fought to live by his own power, and defied reckless battle.

Of course, there is a big difference in power and a difference in rank, but it doesn't matter much to both of them, and right now it's a relationship between “Rey” and “Otomi”, but when the Dresden Slate is released, will be a really equal friend.

[TOWARDS KOTOSAKA]

He calls him "Kotosaka".

The first member of the clan and his first friend after he became "King".

He is an "eye" that shows the world to the disabled.

[TOWARDS ISANA YASHIRO]

He calls him by his full name, or "Anata".

A pioneer in Slate research, he remembers respect for Adolf K. Weissmann, who once dreamed of the Slate, and is proud of himself as the successor to that dream.

He was frustrated that he abandoned his dream and became a hermit in heaven, but he was anxious for him, his eldest dream, to come down to the same horizon again.

He wanted to join Shiro and walk together, but when Shiro refuses, he doesn't care so much and he tries to enjoy the conflict with Shiro as a game.

[TOWARDS NEKO]

He calls her "Miyabi Ameno" and "Kimi".

She is a victim of the same Kagutsu incident, and believes that she is a "partner" who has survived after gaining powers.

He remembers the sympathy of living freely with his own power.

[TOWARDS REISI MUNAKATA]

He calls him "Munakata".

A person who has the opposite thought of him. They do not adjust to each other physiologically.

There is a section that treats Munakata, who was the new "King" at the time of the Gakuenjima incident, as a "novice" and is less respectful than other "Kings"

#k #k project #hisui nagare #profile hisui nagare #k fan clan

[natthebattygeologist]

A Brush with a Cursed Lily

Royal Court AU

King’s Advisor!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

A/N: So here it is, a second part to A Kiss From a Rose. I’m sorry for the wait however I got very busy with work and my university projects. I do so hope you enjoy this. It’s written slightly differently to part 1 as this is all from the Reader’s POV.

I just want to thank @cockslut-padalecki for allowing me to write part 1 as part of the #notmyninth writing challenge and I hope that this angsty follow up does A Kiss From a Rose proud.

Word Count: 2208

Warnings: Angst, angst, more angst, some light fluff, swearing, implied smut, grief, mentions of loss.

Reader’s POV

I ran around chasing after the little squirt who was currently avoiding his bath-time before tripping up and landing square on my backside in a patch of tall Calla Lilies. They were a stunning shade of deep violet and brought back the memories of 6 summers ago. The day I was married off to my best-friend, Steve Rogers, Lord of Rosebury-upon-Sale. I chuckled to myself as my husband rounded the corner of the orangery with our son, covered in mud head to toe, a huge smile plastered on his face. The last few years had been trying at times, and unbearable in others but somehow, we managed to make it through.

“Frolicking in the flowers are we, my petal?” A deep laugh resonated from Steve’s chest as he took in the sight of me, dishevelled and dirtied from my tumble.

“Yes, it’s a rather delightful hobby I have found. Quite the thrilling end to chasing our little gremlin child. Now if you would be so inclined as to help your pregnant wife out of the flower bed, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Come now love, you know I love to see you in a fluster, but I suppose it would do the baby no good leaving you there.”

I took the hand he so graciously offered me and took our muddied little boy from his father’s hold.

“Now honestly Charlie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Prince as muddy and dirty as you are right now, you little rascal. Let’s get you cleaned up and fed, then maybe we can go and visit Uncle James before bedtime.”

----------------- 4 Years Earlier----------------

The King summoned us back to court, and what was meant to be a joyous visit quickly became a permanent stay. Upon our arrival we were greeted by a bleary-eyed Prince and an equally as troubled Princess. The King was dying and had called upon his advisor to help prepare for Bucky’s transition into power. To anyone else nothing would’ve seemed amiss, except it was.

When James’ back was turned, I had witnessed Princess Maia acting rather strangely, gathering bouquets of foxglove and trimmings of deadly nightshade. I was almost certain of her intentions but feared my own safety and so kept it to myself, until one night where I couldn’t bear the burden this knowledge held over me any longer.

“Steve, my love, I have something troubling my mind.” My voice came out a hushed and broken whisper.

“What worries you so my petal? I know it hasn’t been easy for you being back, and having to pretend to like Maia, I assure you that I am always here to listen to you and love you.”

“Well, you see, I think I know why the King is sick. On several occasions I have witnessed the Princess with my own eyes gathering bouquets of foxglove and cuttings from the nightshade bush down by the lily patch. I worry that she is poisoning the King, taking advantage of both his and James’ compromised states to hold a sway over decisions that will likely see our kingdom lost to that of her own father.”

I spoke confidently now, having been an integral part of the court for all my childhood. Steve knew better than to question my knowledge of how things ran. He also knew that I would be one of the first to notice if anything was awry, be that with the account books or even the numbers of armed men stationed at each watchtower. After the death of his wife the King only had James as an heir, and so, he vowed that in case any ill befall him I would also be trained, so that if required, I could become a successful Queen someday.

“Steve, I do believe wholeheartedly that this is all a set-up and that we have been blindly infiltrated by our enemy. Things aren’t adding up. The number of guards stationed at The Keep has been halved in sized since the King has fallen ill. It leaves the West of the kingdom in a precarious position. One where an attack could easily happen and be kept quiet. I don’t like the look of it, any of it, and something needs to be done before we are conquered, you are killed, and me resigned to a life of slavery and servitude at the hands of the despicable Wyvern family.” My voice broke and a sob tore through me at the thought of losing everything I have left to the family that has already taken so much from me, starting with my mother shortly after I was born.

“Hush my petal. Tears will do nothing to fix this. The King is aware of the situation, however in our absence the Prince has changed, and he has become blinded by his love for ‘his lily’, though I daresay snake would be the better term for that venomous bitch.” A scoff escaped Steve’s lips before he continued. “The reason the King summoned us is because he has seen what fate has befallen James. He has made his bed, albeit a rather uncomfortable bed, and now he will have to lie in it. The King wishes for you to become Queen after his passing. He wants to stop the plans of Maia’s family before their tendrils of poison can run further into our kingdom than they already have. You my love can bring all this to an end, and I believe you would be able to unite the Kingdoms in a peaceful treaty that could last.”

I curled up into Steve’s side placing a chaste kiss to his lips. He returned it with a hunger and passion before carding his fingers through my hair and tracing them along my jaw.

“Please my petal, let me chase away your worries, after all, if you are to be Queen, we shall need to work on producing some heirs.”

A smirk befell his lips before he ducked his head, nipping at my neck, knowing full well that I would cave to his carnal desires.

--------------- Present Day -------------

After having cleaned up the mucky Prince, Steve and I walked with him through the gardens as evening began to draw in. Fireflies filled the air as we made the trek to the rose garden. As a child it had been mine and Bucky’s favourite place to hide, and on more than one occasion hugs and kisses had been exchanged.

Today this garden holds a whole new meaning as at its centre, beneath a beautiful weeping willow, lay James’ grave.

------------- 3 Years Earlier ------------

Before the King’s passing, he ordered his kings-guard to imprison and execute the Princess for treason against the throne. She was hung at The Keep as a warning to her family that they were next. Their years of planning and scheming had come to an abrupt and distasteful end.

What the Wyverns deemed as an unlawful murder incited a full war between our Kingdoms, it saw both Steve and Bucky fighting on the front lines with me at the helm, as Queen. Soon I had treaties signed with other Kingdoms aligning us for generations to come, until the only one stood against the alliance was the Kingdom of the Serpents. The battle of Roseknappe in the Western borders was the bloodiest battle of all. By this time, I was no longer part of frontline action as I was holed up in the castle under the watchful protection of my elite Queens-guard. When news got out that I was with child the Wyverns stopped at nothing to try and kill me or at the least cause me harm enough for my body to rid itself of the heir I now lovingly grew inside of me. But they needn’t have worried.

When I was around 5 months along tragedy struck our kingdom. The arrival of my husband looking grey in pallor, with sunken eyes and covered in injuries was the first sign that something was very wrong. When the two had left to fight they rode off, side by side, settling any grievances they had over the arranged marriages and uniting to fight to save the Kingdom and keep me on the throne. Steve’s return signalled the end of an era and feelings in my gut that had been dormant for years surfaced in cry of grief so great that it silenced the birdsong for days. Although James was not King, he was still a beloved Prince. My first love and the person who would forever hold a piece of my heart.

In my grief-stricken state I had fallen and managed to land with the sharp riser of the marble stairs squarely in my abdomen. The shock I was in meant that I hadn’t noticed the blood that began pooling nor do I remember what happened over the next few weeks as the doctors and healers frantically worked to keep me alive.

“Steve? Steve? Where’s James? I…. I want to see him. I…” I was interrupted by Steve coming over and pulling me tight to his chest.

“Praise to the Old Gods, my petal, are you okay? Are you in any pain?” worry had seeped into his tone and what looked to be a pang of guilt crossed his normally stoic face. “My love, how much do you remember of the last three weeks?”

A confused expression befell my features before Steve decided to continue.

“Oh, my sweet love, James... James isn’t coming back. The fight at Roseknappe, he saved my life by taking the arrow that was meant to pierce my heart, he sacrificed himself because he wanted me to be able to return to you, so I could love you the way he was never allowed to. So that I could raise a family and keep our Kingdom strong. He died in my arms after begging me to pass you on this letter that he wrote, almost as if he knew he wouldn’t make it back from this war.”

Fresh tears began to fall as Steve handed me the bloodied paper.

My dearest Rose,

How I wish things had been different, and that it was I that got to hold you in my arms at the end of the aisle. I begged my father to change his mind, but he wouldn’t budge. I will never forgive myself for the horrid things I said to you when father made you queen. I was poisoned by the words of a traitor and knowing now I hurt the one true love of my life is the reason why I will fight so hard to save you.

If you are reading this it means I am gone my sweet girl. I know that you will grieve me but please, for my sake as much as your own, I want you to love Steve as wholly as you once loved me. I beg of you to take care of yourself and to keep me close as you grow through the years. I am sorry I will not be there to see my little nieces and nephews, but I know that you and Steve will be the most wonderful parents.

That day in the rose garden, after your first dance in front of the court, when I kissed you. I wanted to tell you then just how much I loved you, but I couldn’t do it. It’s almost as if in my heart I knew you would never truly be mine.

I love you my Rose and I will see you in the next life,

Your Prince,

Bucky

xx

4 months later after grieving the loss of the Prince, the Kingdom was celebrating, not just a victory of war and a long lasting treaty of peace, but the birth of their future King.

Prince Charlie James Buchanan Rogers, heir to the throne of Rosehall and Duke of Snowblossom Grove.

----------- Present Day ----------

“…… and that is the story of how your brave Uncle James battled the terrifying Wyverns to protect your mummy.”

I could hear Steve talking with Charlie as I sat on the bench staring blankly at the grave, wishing with every ounce of strength that I could, hoping to gain just one more moment with my soulmate.

“Come Charlie, let’s get you into bed, then tomorrow we can go riding and Papa can show you the waterfall where him and Uncle James decided to scare me into thinking that your Papa had drowned. Really, they just wanted mummy to go swimming with them, but they knew I wouldn’t go unless there was an emergency.”

After settling Charlie into bed, I took a stroll around the halls before heading to my shared chambers. Laying on the bed next to Steve he protectively wrapped his arms around me, as if he could shield me from the pain the world would throw at me.

“I love you Steven Grant Rogers. It may have taken me a while but, I have always cared for you, and I vow to you now that I will love you until my dying breath.”

“I know my petal, as I will love you, and Charlie, and this little one that we have yet to meet, until mine.”

Taglist: (My Humble Peeps)

@missyredbean

#steve x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #royal court #notmyninth

[sheresh0y]

Mar'eyce Introduces:

Ro Donetta-Awaud: He/Him, 30-ish

Along with his family:

Dagon Donetta-Awaud: He/Him, 28-ish

Tann Donetta-Awaud: 11-ish

Kato Donetta-Awaud: 5-ish

Ellis Donetta-Awaud: 5-ish

A/N: I decided to go balls to the wall with the rest of these characters. So much backstory. All of it. I'm dumping it right here. Drabbles will added, moodboards whenever the fancy strikes. The rest of Arumorut has had their stories told at this point in the story so, fuck it, whatever. I love these OCs too much and I'm screaming it from rooftops, baby. I know suck at writing children and these Awaud children are definitely come across as way too old but go with me on this. I also left the children's pronouns empty because I'm not entirely sure what they're all trying to tell me yet. I'll update it when they let me know.

Warnings: This fic and AU is 18+ for a reason. Mentions of parental death, swearing, slavery and unwanted children mentions. Ro's a little sad boy under all that armor.

Read from the beginning: Mar'eyce Masterlist

Ro Doneeta was born to Volya and Rol Doneeta, Twi'lek freedom fighters turned Rebels. When Ro had turned four, his parents went a on a routine trip for supplies and never came home. He was adopted shortly after by Kai and Ilyah, a quickly and quietly whispered pact made by the only two parents in their corner of The Rebellion after one too many close calls.

"Take care of them, for us. Please."

The Awauds openly encouraged Ro to participate in Twi'lek culture. Just because he was a Mandalorian now didn't mean he stopped being a Twi'lek as well. The entire clan learned Ryl and Kai and Ilyah found mentors for him to teach him the things they couldn't. They were never sure if they did right by their son, but they tried their best.

After the Awauds retired from the war and were sent back to Arumorut, when Ro and Kaiyah were sixteen, Ro threw himself into the deep end of medicine. It wasn’t humble in the way that Ba’buir was, he didn’t want to train the clan in first aid or help children with their sniffles. Ro had lost so much to the galaxy and this was his fuck you.

First, his ryma and kora, then his lek, now his buir. Kai’buir was physically there, but mentally, emotionally they were nowhere to be found. It was like he had died without dying. Ro decided he was going to fix it all, no one in his family was dying again. Nobody was getting left behind. For everything the galaxy took from Ro, he was going to drag back to this life with his bare hands.

After a few months of shadowing Ba'buir Nejaa, Ro was decided to pursue medical school on Naboo. It was a relatively peaceful planet, since tourism was most of the economy they were malleable to whoever was in charge. This meant that Ro couldn't just walk around anywhere. The Empire was still standing and he was a Mandalorian who may or may not be wanted.

Ba'buir Nejaa said no immediately. Their reasoning was the armor. Armor was important, every Mandalorian wore it all the time. The only reason Nejaa didn't anymore was because Kaiyah needed a new set and they had gifted their set to her. Ro didn't have this exception so he tried a compromise: he would wear the chest plate under his clothes. The plate was the biggest piece of armor he had and helped the most with regulating his temperature anyway. It wasn't comfortable but it was the best he could come up with.

About four years into his medical education, Ro met Dagon through some mutual friends. It was terror at first sight, the poor Zabrak man was missing nearly all of his right ear and Ro knew it was his fault. His stupid plan to fight an Aryx head-on had consequences he didn't full think of at the time.

Try as he might to avoid Dagon, it didn't matter. It was like the up and coming designer was everywhere, Dagon seemed to have his own gravity and Ro was quickly pulled in.

It didn't take long for them to fall in love, by the third official date Dagon was asking Ro to move in and by the fifth they were married. For his part, Dagon took everything Mandalorian related in stride. He barely blinked when Ro explained soulmates and the reasons they were both all scarred up on the first date. He just asked if 'his Mandalorian' had anyone to take care of him.

When Ro graduated school, not quiet a doctor but close enough, the couple had a long talk about the future. They both knew they wanted kids but The Empire was still looming. It wasn't safe for Mandalorians to be openly walking around and they were both faced with the thought it might never be. Dagon understood that his children would be raised Mandalorian. It was close to the way Zabraki culture was. Clans, fighting, it made sense for the most part. Even though he had parted he had parted ways with his family, Dagon knew Ro couldn't do that.

He had been officially introduced to most of the Awaud clan when Ro had graduated, Dagon threw a little get together in honor of his riduur and the only people on Ro's must invite list was his family. They had a bond that went closer than blood and Dagon knew his clan of two needed to do.

He moved the clan of two back to Arumorut, using the ship that Nejaa and Kaiyah brought to move the stuff that Dagon couldn't or wouldn't sell, Ro never seemed to hold on to much.

Ro was furious, initially. Dagon had plans, big plans, to be a designer and he was right at the cusp of finally getting his own line. Moving back to Arumorut would be a step back for his career or end it entirely. In Ro's mind, he could at least play security while Dagon chased his dreams and then they could settle down wherever. It didn't matter to Ro as long as he got to see his family regularly, somewhere Mid or Outer Rim, he didn't want to be too far in case of an emergency.

The move ended up being the best thing to happen to them, not a month after settling in Kaiyah brought home a little Twi'lek girl. She couldn't have been older than five, but with her malnutrition it was hard to guess and she didn't know. She didn't even have a name and barely spoke Huttese.

They named her Tann, for hope.

A year later, while debating on putting their names with an adoption agency now that The New Republic existed and Ro could get his record expunged since his Rebel activities were no longer deemed as 'treason' or 'terrorism', the twins fell in their laps. A woman had shoved the babies on Jax, who was working on a bounty at the time, she said she couldn't take care of them and knew that the Mandalorians could. Jax didn't have a soulmate at the time and knew that the Donetta-Awauds were thinking about adopting again, so he asked if they would like to add the Zabraki twins to their family. The boys couldn't have been more than a few months old, their skin was more pink than the vibrant red it now was.

Kato, for Dagon's father. Even if they didn't talk he still liked the name.

Ellis, for Ro's buir. It was her clan name before she joined Kai.

Ro knew he made the right choice when Kai-buir cried. It sounded terrible at the time, like he enjoyed making his father cry, but it was such a relief to find out that he could. That Kai wasn't entirely gone, just not always there.

Ro still asks Dagon if he regretted it. Losing his fashion line, being a boring tailor to people who didn't really need a tailor. On those days Dagon holds Ro closer, his chin resting on his Mandalorian's head, "Never. Not once. I've never been happier than when I'm with you. 'Boring tailor' and all. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyare."

^ Ro in his full armor. Isn't he a handsome boy?

Translations & Other Headcanons:

Ryma: Ryl, mother

Kora: Ryl, father

Buir: Mando'a, parent

Kai-buir: Mando'a, masc parents typically go by the first three letters of their name followed by 'buir'. The Donetta-Awaud children don't really follow this rule since they have one Buir and one Edalinare (Zabraki, family).

Ba'buir: Mando'a, grandparent

I headcannon Ro as a doctor who did all the bookwork, but never the internships which I believe is eight-ish years of school? Correct me if I'm wrong I just wanted to keep the timeline in some kind of order for myself (leaving Arumorut at sixteen + eight years of school leaves Ro somewhere near 24 when they have Tann, 25 for the twins). I also know that half the stuff Ro does in Arumorut a unlicensed doctor could never do in real life, but in his mind it got him close enough to what he wanted to do, hence the joke about 'not a doctor but close enough'. He was pretty over med school, honestly. Besides, he learned the good stuff from Nejaa (who is nowhere near doctor status, think closer to field medic/EMT who has Seen Some Shit).

Riduur: Mando'a, spouse

Tann: Ryl, hope

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyare: Mando'a, I know you forever, beloved.

In my brain, Dagon is like 6'4", 6'5"-ish and Ro is a short king comparatively coming in at a hot 5'8", 5'9" (he swears up and down he's a solid 5'10". He's not.) Ro is almost always little spoon and doesn't mind it one bit.

I feel like I need to add a disclaimer: did I accidentally create Numa and her uncle with Tann and Ro? Yes, yes I did. Do I really care at this point? No, because it makes moodboards easy. Numa and her family belong to Disney and Lucasfilms, I did not create them and I don't want anyone to think I did. That arc plus the fact she shows up in Rebels makes me cry.

#mandalorian oc #star wars oc #ro donetta awaud #dagon donetta awaud #tann donetta awaud #kato donetta awaud #ellis donetta awaud

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 4

First

Continued from here

Possibly the angstiest part of this. Not much whump really.

I´m gonna go ahead and tag @the-host-and-colton for this one. It´s not the BBU but I suppose the Boxies with babies dynamic is there. “Baby doesn´t understand the situation but the parents do” kinda thing. Excuse the ping!

CW// Dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, forced breeding, mentions of past dub con and non con, blood, implied and mention of past whump of minors, hazing, noncon child separation, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

After five years, Kit was a rowdy little boy. Running around with a smile on his face at all times. You wouldn’t think he was a slave if it wasnt for the thin black collar on his neck.

In how obedient he turned with his masters. Even though he didn’t understand the concept yet.

“Master? Why are Roahn and Shy here?” Kit asked Danae once. Layo and Danae weren’t mom and dad. They were master. But for his little mind it was just the same thing.

“To serve you and us, Kit. You will understand it better when you grow up”

“Alright” Kit said watching Roahn taking care of the garden with her big bump “Master? Will I be able to play with Roahn’s baby?” Kit asked again.

“No more questions Kit” She said annoyed. The kid was quiet but he still looked at Roahn with curiosity.

-

“Roahn?” Kit asked the woman being hugged by Dimitri in their floor mat. She woke up as it was the middle of the night, and when she saw him, he shook Dimitri awake. They sat in the other side of the cell.

“Hey there Kit” Dimitri smiled at the toddler.

“Hi Shy” Kit said.

“What is it Kit? Are you hurt?” Roahn said stretching her arm for the kid to hold her hand through the bars. The kid took it.

“I am cold upstairs. So I thought you were very cold here too. Its always chilly down here” the kid grabbed the blanket he had carried all the way down and gave it to Dimitri. “I dont want the baby to be cold”.

They looked at each other with a pained and proud expression.

“Do you…wanna see how she moves?” Roahn asked the toddler who instantly put a smile on his face.

Roahn went close to the cell and told the kid to get closer. Kit did. She grabbed his tiny hand and put it on her abdomen. Curiously she moved. As if the little one inside her knew.

“She’s rowdy!” Kit said. The word coming from how Layo would call him sometimes. Kit was an smart boy.

“Yes she is!” Roahn laughed along.

“I cant wait to play with her!” Dimitri and Roahn went stiff “I mean, if I can…” Kit cleared up sensing their discomfort.

Roahn took his hand into hers and gave it a little kiss.

“Of course you can” she said looking at her son in the same hazel eyes she had. His worries escaped his face to be turned into smiling.

“What would you call her, Kit?” Dimitri asked him.

Kit reflexed for a bit, looking at the ceiling.

“Bunnie!” He said “oh! Or Sara! Or Emi!”

“Where did you take those names from?” Dimitri giggled. They were good names.

“Master is writing a new book. I am a character there too!” He said proudly.

“Oh? You are?” Dimitri said, resting his chin in one hand. Roahn thought it had been a long time since she saw him smile like that. Not since Olivia.

“Yes! I am a dog!” Dimitri stopped right there with a shocked face. He cracked a humorless laugh. He really hated Layo for doing that sick joke.

“Do you like dogs Kit?” He asked anyways.

“Yes!! Sadly master doesn’t like them…” Kit pouted.

“Hey Kit, what if I told you there’s a place where you could have a lot of dogs?” Dimitri asked him Roahn looking at him.

“Eh?! Really? Where’s that?” Kit asked getting closer.

“I can take us there but I need you to tell me something. I only will ask you to see one thing everyday ok?” He said getting closer to him. The camera and the microphone were not a problem. They had been tricked for years.

“Everyday?”

“Yes”

“What?”

“If you ever see big men with black suits tell me what day they come in alright? Or if master says something about an auction tell me. And then we will go to that place, Alright?” Dimitri said. Roahn wasn’t sure if the kid had gotten all, but Kit was smarter than they could see.

He already knew how to read.

“An auction? Like last time?”

Dimitri couldn’t help himself from looking down for a bit.

“Yes, Kit. Like last time. Would you do that for us?” She asked him calmly.

“Ok. I will tell you” Kit said. “Im going to sleep. Goodnight” Kit said going away.

“Wait!” Dimitri yelled, the kid turned back.

“Thanks for the blanket” Roahn said covering her and Shy.

“We love you Kit” Dimitri said. The kid didnt know how to take that and just blushed before running off.

Dimitri and her laid down again. After a moment, the woman’s arms squeezed him lightly.

“Are you sure?” Roahn asked him.

“We cant let this slip off again, Roahn” he said.

“You have changed” she told her “I remember you telling me you didnt have bad thoughts about your owners”

Dimitri embraced her stronger dipping his face into her neck.

“Ivan was all I had. And he was taken from me. He was killed by a bunch of brainless fuckers. I told myself I wouldn’t fixate on his dead. And tried to forget. But when that happened…” Roahn reached for his hand and squeezed “I knew I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I cant let this freaks fuck with us anymore. We have to go before the auction. Much more longer before that”

“Three months” Roahn said “after she’s born, three months and we will go”

“In that time I’ll have it all ready” Dimitri kissed her shoulder “I wont fail this time” he said as she smiled.

His face had a big scar that went all the way from his cheekbone to his neck.

Layo had tried to cut his carotid when they tried to escape the first time. And he almost succeeded.

-

The baby was born a week later. Kit was amazed by the baby’s arrival. Apparently her name was Jen. Although Kit thought how Bunnie would have had suit her better he went on. For him Dimitri was the only way of knowing how she was doing. Kit was a curious child so he would ask him lots of questions. Dimitri had received some education but many of his questions beat him. At those times he would pat him and tell him the library had a book about that day’s question they could read together.

Sometimes, when they knew there was no one in the house but them, he let Kit sit on his leg.

By now Dimitri and Roahn had to wear clothes at all times except when their genitals were required. They weren’t that used to be so covered but definitely it was warmer. And less humiliating. But the mounting…those were nights were those rules didn’t matter.

“How is Jen and Roahn?” Kit asked him.

“They’re ok. Jen is a very healthy baby. You would love her” Dimitri said.

“I would have loved if she was named Bunnie though…” the kid pouted. Dimitri laughed.

“You know my name isn’t Shy?” He said the kid opening his eyes amused.

“Then what’s your name?”

“Dimitri” He said with a bitter sweet smile. It was the name his brother had gave him. He wanted to tell him to call him dad, but right now that was too risky.

“What a pretty name! Why are you called Shy by Master then?” Kit asked. Dimitri pursed his lips together and touched his scar.

“Its a nickname”

“Nick…?”

“A name only good friends call each other”

“But you don’t like Master at all…”

“Well, some nicknames are for people you don’t like” he giggled wryly.

“Hey, Sh—Dimitri, what does “slave” mean?” The kid asked him, getting his full attention.

“Master called me that the other day when I dropped a bit of juice. I dont know if its a good nickname…” Dimitri held him strong.

“You dont need to know that Kit” he said to him “You’re a good boy ok?”

Kit thought about the many times he had been called bad things and found comforting he said that. So he hugged back.

They stayed there like that for a while.

—

At night, report.

“They havent mentioned it yet then Kit?” Dimitri asked him from the other side of the cell. Kit shook his head, his curly black hair flopping.

“Thats perfect. And what is master doing on thursday?”

“They have their cocktail party and go early” kit said. Dimitri was making mental notes.

“When do they go on their trip?” Dimitri asked him looking up.

“On sunday”

Dimitri has made his plan. Five days were a bit short but the three months had passed and he had it all ready. The few money he could slip from change. A few clothes. Tools. Food. They were ready to go.

“Kit, in Sunday I need you to do something fun. Would you grab your binoculars and tell me when they go and bring me the keys in Master’s office?”

Kit physically did a step back.

“What is it?”

“Im…not allowed there…I cant…”

“It’s ok Kit. Dont worry. Can you play explorer and tell me when they go then?” The kid shook his head vigorously. “You’re such a good kid, Kit” he revolved his hair. And gave him a candy hidden in the downside of the mat.

“Ah! Thank you Dimitri! I love you!” Kit said while hugging him through the bars. Dimitri had to be really strong to hold the tears in.

“I love you too Kit” he said watching him go off.

He stared at the ceiling unable to sleep.

How much he wished Cal and Olivia were there too. But the pain of losing them wouldn’t happen ever again.

Even if he died at it. They would go and get freedom.

#an old thing #whump #writing #tw slavery #tw swearing #tw dehumanization #tw forced breeding #tw forced pregnancy #tw past dubcon #tw blood #whumping of a minor #hazing #noncon child separation tw #creepy whumper #physical abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #hurt comfort #angst #roahn #demetri #this is the fluffiest yet tho #collars #escape attempt

[bellamygateoldblog]

The 100 7x01: Discussion

My general takeaway from the episode can be summarised like this: Echo is spectacular. (I might’ve said “oh my god look at her!!!!!” and “ugh she is just The Best” too many times to count).

This is long-ish because I really just wanted to consolidate my thoughts in one place. Bitch it’s me i got a lot to say!!!!!

The Good Parts

— The farmhouse setting. While it’s existence is strange and “a sore thumb” and worked to further push Sanctum being the abomination born of clumsily mixing genres and time periods in terms of construction/costuming, making everything appear disconnected and obnoxious, it was still a nice change. It made me feel warmer and more comfortable as a ‘modern’ viewer. It’s a breath of fresh air from the constant dark element: dilapidated post-apoc buildings falling from their foundation, endless woods, and equally cold-feeling labs and skeleton dungeons.

— Echo. This was a damn good episode for Echo and every second reminded me of why she’s my favourite. She’s a badass. I always love to see her falling naturally into leadership of her little ragtag groups who accept it wholeheartedly. From the “testing a theory” moment where she went ‘when Gabriel doesn’t speak >>>’, to right at the end when she killed the solider about to “eliminate” Hope (hesitation is death...oh no he can’t hear us he’s got airpods in oh my god). It was Echo that got them through the whole sequence with the anomaly, Echo who figured shit out, Echo who quickly judged the situations and formed plans to overcome the obstacles. In other words: she did THAT.

Favourite scene: Echo coming face-to-face with the projection of her own insecurities in the form of Roan and Echo 1.0, and physically overcoming them (shooting them down), along with the trauma and pain that they both represent. The perserverence and getting the job done despite the emotional torture felt like a callback to the Psychosis episode of 6x02 when she was clever enough to sedate herself to silence the voices in her head. I also think the dialogue chosen was also foreshadowing that she would become a leader by the finale (commander?) and i love to see it!

— Clarke and Madi’s conversation. Oh Clarke, you just keep reinforcing and validating my perceptions of who you are as a person over and over again lol. In all her self-importance failing to remember that Madi, in fact, had and was raised by her biological parents for half of her life (and the new knowledge that she spent six years telling her little mind tales from the book of her life whilst apparently never taking the time to learn about Madi’s or acknowledge/honour her birth parents in any way) is “yeah that’s about right” to me. Sure you could say she was still reeling from the events of six and her death-almost death-almost death again. But I’ve always had this Thing about the relationship between Clarke and Madi. And i’ve seen some of the lighthearted humourous reception that scene got from fandom, “#where do you think the child CAME from?!” which only served to remind me of my own impression that Clarke views Madi as wholely ‘hers’, as if Madi’s existence was tied to Clarke, but i might elaborate in a seperate post.

This scene was a lovely display of self-awareness I’ve rarely seen on Clarke (never even got it when she electrocuted said child two seasons ago- however that absense of apology and acknowledgement of the sheer wrongness of that action also fits very nicely with my view of her lmao, still though, a weird choice for your ‘heroine’).

— Clarke’s “feels like a different world.” Felt romantically-coded. I think Gaia/Clarke might be the most convinient relationship to transform into romance at this point. However I’m sincerely hoping this road they could go down won’t reduce Gaia to a crutch/accessory for Clarke, and that she doesn’t become merely a love interest. I’ve seen talk already of Gaia being “Clarke’s happiness” etc.. which is already confirming my worst fears. Sigh.

This moment very much felt like found closure and the turning of a page. But i will say it was a very sharp turn from the three seasons of shoehorned-in mentions of Lexa, and last season’s emphasis on Clarke’s very-much intact emotional response to her memory- “it’s why you cry when you think about Lexa”- to her looking at an image of Lexa’s memory of her, reminicing but having no emotional response to it, and brushing it off while sharing a soft look with Gaia (and this is a few days since s6? I don’t know how this timeline is working but Tbh it’s not like these writers ever concerned themselves with ‘realistic time frames’ anyway lol). Yep, Jason’s seasons are individual “movies,” alright.

Other *nodding approvingly* moments

— Raven’s subtle “elevator eyes” on Clarke when she started giving her orders again. I see you, Miss Reyes, and I appreciate you.

— Raven + the foot in her mouth and the cute way she catches herself both times. I just love watching characters fail at existing LOL. She was feeling more human than stereotype or plot device this episode.

— "Mommy and Auntie O” and the implication that Hope is a child inside an aged-up body.

— This quote: “I know what it’s like to lose your family 100 years ago and yesterday at the same time.” It’s so literal but I like it a lot.

— Clarke being ‘leader’ again is, as usual, solely a matter of convinient (and familial/love) circumstances and it felt very true.

The Rest

— The Eligius Situation. So Clarke and her inner circle conquer and live in a nice home, and we’re specifically told Clarke takes the master suite (and the dog), and I was like ‘fair enough’ but then she orders prison labour. She tells them to build her a compound that they won’t actually get to be apart of, and to live in tents while they do so. They aren’t getting anything out of this (before they resist and set their own terms). This is slavery. Also, those aren’t her people to boss around, look down on, and use accordingly for her own gain (in fact they barely know her or why she’s gone from being that one unloyal woman who executed their men and got herself captured like an idiot, then couldn’t make up her mind about which side she wanted to kill- to one in the uppermost position of authority...like...they woke up yesterday) But, then again, that never stopped her.

— Too much and not enough at the same time. The pacing of the episode in general was awful. Too much happening in quick succession, no breathing room, too many factions (no, actually Raven, where is ALIE when you need her? smh). I blink, I miss an entire scene and a character is now beating someone else up. Amazingly, i was still bored 90% of the time.

— The Children of Gabriel calling themselves “The Children of Gabriel.” It was always goofy, even more so when a grown man is saying it.

— Murphy + his self loathing over Abby’s death. Did I miss the part where she was ever good to him? One of their final moments together was of her telling him he deserved to die over Clarke after she spent the entire series treating him like he was inferior and disposable. uhhhhhhhhhh.

— The picnic scene. Jackson’s sudden violent outburst was unearned (it wasn’t even set up???), and also disrespectful. Wrong place, wrong time, bro. He’s grieving? Okay. But when Abby’s daughter is sitting right in front of you, making this about you, ruining a perfectly good toast in her honour with your uncomfortable accusations loses you points you never even had to begin with. And this is a ‘me’ thing but I can’t be bothered to be sympathetic when this is about Abby Griffin.

Also, I have to say it. Eliza’s acting took me out of the scene every time I looked at Clarke. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what those expressions were supposed to be.

— Russell, his manpain, and a fury over the consiquences of his own actions  that could rival the grounders (”my brother died in your ring of fire [while he was trying to murder you all]” hmm sounds like a you problem). But the worst part is, I simply couldn’t tell where he stood or what he was feeling. He’s so one-dimensional. He’s an evil man (so much for ”grey morality”).

— Clarke + Jordan. A small point to make but all Clarke has done since Marper made her ‘Godmother’ of their son has blame him for everything bad happening lol. Marper loses a lot of my respect as time goes on for that choice. As much as I dislike Jordan’s presence in the show, still not a great pattern to have noticed.

— Raven seeking approval from Clarke (specifically) for the Prime idea was...weird and very bad. When has Raven ever cared for Clarke’s validation, especially in the last few seasons?

Was also taken aback by how Indra and Miller are both suddenly so protective of Clarke, like i can make sense of the Indra part even though it relies on me making things up that aren’t supported by what’s on screen, but Miller?

— (Bonus moment that was bad for me, but not for the same reason it was for the rest of you: the scene of Hope finding the message in her arm. When she was removing the blood-soaked bandage I freaked out because I thought she was peeling her skin off. You’re welcome for that visual.)

The Mixed/No Feelings

— Clarke’s full-dark-no-stars. How many times have they told me now she’s “the head”? LMAO. 

I have no actual formed opinion on it. Only disjointed thoughts. Like i might’ve just gone “good for her” if Clarke wasn’t the person she is, with the history she has.

I appreciate the idea, to have her spend the whole episode declaring she is, in fact, completely fine, to end it having her explode with the repressed pain.

I mean...i realise the cognition behind it, but it’s eye-roll inducing at this point. This- kicking Russell to death (giving him exactly what he wanted and set out to provoke), and burning down a palace she promised to keep intact, once again going against the group to do her own Thing that they all ultimately have the suffer the consiquences of and help clean up- is just a repeat of past patterns, and Monty’s “do better” mantra that she desperately clung to like she owned it last season is nowhere in sight.

(Also, I can’t be the only one who spotted her physically smacking that Sanctum girl as she walked onto the balcony? Not cool. Wasn’t cool when Murphy acted like a dick to one of them either this episode.)

The rushed switch did a number on me, too, like Jackson’s did. Literally five minutes before she was preaching about a peaceful life for Madi that doesn’t take revenge (I think I know what they were going for with that but it just left me feeling confused and frustrated).

Furthermore, I’ve seen talk that this was her “burning down of a symbol of oppression”, something she experienced first hand (not so unlike Blodreina and the bunker she desperately wanted to escape and deliver her people from), but there was no noble, calculated intention there. She burned the palace accidentally in her rage because she was in pain and disorientated. The moral stuff was just an after effect.

The speech was also very ‘Clarke’. Feeling entitled to and making decisions on who lives and dies right after declaring this wasn’t their kill to make. She wasn’t the only person hurt by the Primes (but we’ve also been given no reason to care about any of the other victims- the manipulated, enslaved population have been turned into a joke and a punching bag for the main characters which...isn’t great either). And the castle could’ve been used to shelter some of the “too many people” we had problems with through the episode (or used to harvest resources from). It really comes down to if i think the situation justifies the reaction and if i hold her wholely responsible...and this is the part where i reiterate that i have no intact opinion and don’t actually care to have one either ha.

#the 100 s7 #7x01 discussion #the 100 7x01

[emperorsfoot]

abandoned Star Wars fic #2

This one is so rough my notes are still there in the document. When you see the brackets [ ] that is me talking to myself as I write. 

Another AU, again based off the Star Wars EU that existed pre-Disney Buyout. Vader manages to intercept Obi-Wan before he can get Luke to the Lars, but Vader can’t raise him on Corescant. Palpatine would ask too many questions. So, Vader takes Luke to be raised by an alien race loyal to him on planet Honoghr.

...

[title]

Chapter One:

Sand and dust was kicked up in the wake of two speeders racing across the dessert night. One furiously gaining, the other desperate to shake and lose its tail. 

One arm wrapped protectively around the bundle clutched to his chest, the other trying its best to steer the small one-man speeder. Keep it steady. While simultaneously trying to shake off and lose his pursuer. But it was a tall order to fill. His hunter knew these sands far better than he did, had grown up here, was shaped by the sands and the winds. And he was driven. Driven by a a raging tumultuous storm of feelings to wild and varying to interpret fully. But Kenobi would have to say that rage was definitely at the forefront of that emotional storm. Rage and pain.

Pain over the death of Padme and rage at the one he credited with responsibility for her premature passing. 

Because goodness forbid Anakin Skywalker ever take responsibility for his own actions or their resultant tragedies. 

Kenobi clutched baby Luke tighter as he banked hard to the right. Taking them down a labyrinthine formation of shallow canyons and jagged rocks. For the majority of the journey, the baby had remained blissfully quiet. Something the Jedi master was sure was uncommon for new borns and infants. It might have given him cause to worry if he didn't currently have a much greater and more pressing concern tearing between rocks and sand behind them. 

But now, being rocked and jostled by the chase, and perhaps also sensing the violent storm of feelings behind them, Luke uttered his first loud, unhappy cries since slipping from the warmth of his mothers womb into the cold and uncaring world they lived in. 

Perhaps he was spurred on by the sound of his son's crying, or perhaps he'd just gotten close enough for the weapon to be useful, but from behind, Kenobi heard the unmistakable snap-hiss of a lightsaber.  Unable to simultaneously draw his own blade while still steering the speeder and holding Luke, Kenobi did the only other option open to him. He leapt from his own speeder just in time to miss being split in two by a jumping swing of the crimson-white blade. 

The red hot saber slashed the speeder in two instead. Each half banging and ricocheting off rocks and canyon before they came to skidding, crumbling halts. A few seconds later, Anakin's own abandoned speeder followed the Jedi's speeder into oblivion by crashing into the canyon wall. The spectacular explosion lighting up the night enough for Kenobi to see flames illyminate the new black armor and helmet in brilliant shades of orange and red. 

Lowering the red saber only slightly, Anakin -no, he wasn't Anakin anymore, Anakin had died on Mustafar, this man was a Sith Lord- Darth Vader extended his free hand. With a new voice, deep and baritone, nothing like Anakin's at all, uttered a single command. "Give him to me."

Shaking his head, Kenobi drew his own lightsaber. Ready to defend the innocent life in his other arm with his last breath if necessary. "Don't do this, Anakin. Let him live his life without the burden of your legacy."

There was a beat of silence filled only by the sound of the respirator, carefully counting breaths. Then, "You have taken to much from me. You'll not take my son as well."

With that, the sinister figure closed the distance. Dark cape trailing behind him. Kenobi just managed to bring his own blade up in time to block the blow. With only one hand holding the saber, he had less strength to hold the red-white blade at bay. The Jedi hoped that Vader would regulate his strength enough so as to not injure the baby he carried -it was, after all, the baby he was after- but remembering his actions towards Padme, Kenobi just couldn't be sure of anything anymore. Vader wanted the baby. But he also wanted the Jedi master dead. 

Pulling a bit of the Force to him, Kenobi pushed Vader off them. Taking advantage of the younger man's imbalance to swing an offense of his own, Kenobi aimed for that shiny and new black helmet. But the blow was only glancing, just melting a scratch on the surface, not even penetrating to the head beneath. Both men to a step back to regain themselves. Luke resumed his wails. The cries seeming all the louder for the echo off the canyon walls. 

"This is what Padme would have wanted for him!" Kenobi tried to reason with him. "To grow up with a family and love. Not be used as a tool for your ambition or the Emperor's power!"

"He will be with his family." Vader snarled. "I am his father!"

"You killed his mother!" Kenobi reminded him. 

"Because of you!" The other snarled. 

He swung his lightsaber at the man. The spinning blade arching towards his head. Kenobi jumped to the side, drawing on the force to help cushion his fall, not for himself but to ease the discomfort to the baby. The swinging blade came flying back to its wielder's hand and he slashed down at Kenobi's prone form. The Jedi struggling to regain his footing was quick enough to evade a death blow, but not quick enough to come away unscathed. He screamed as the red-white blade sliced through his ankled with a burning ferocity. Kenobi's scream of pain, adding to the chorus of Luke's. 

"She was my wife!" Vader roared. "And you used her. Turned us against each other. I might have been the instrument, but it was you who killed her! Its your fault! Your fault!" The dark shoulders shook with unchannelled emotion. It sent reverberations through the Force, washing other both of them. Causing the Jedi to forget the pain in his leg for a moment and the baby's sobs degraded into hiccups, having already cried himself hoarse. "You took my wife from me, Obi-wan. I will not let you take my son from me as well."

The Sith Lord bent down over them. Black gloved hands reaching… and with unexpected care, plucked the hiccuping child from the Jedi's arms. He held the baby for a moment or two. The only sound apart from Luke's nervous hiccups and grumbles, the mechanical breathing of the respirator. Vader -or perhaps in that moment he was Anakin again- looked down at the child in his arms who squirmed uncomfortably against the cold leather pulled over unfeeling bionics. There could be no warmth in that hold. No physical warmth. But perhaps there was some emotional warmth from the father for his son. For Luke seemed to calm ever so slightly. His child in his arms, Vader's own raging storm of feelings also subsided to what Kenobi decided must be the new baseline for the Dark Lord. 

The relative serenity of the scene was broken by an errant breeze whistling through the canyon. The soft sound string them from their brief moment of peace. Kenobi called his lightsaber back to his hand. But Vader was quicker on the draw. The Jedi froze with the glowing crimson tip a few centimeters from singeing distance of his beard. 

[I cannot yet decide if Ben would serve the story better alive of dead. So I'll leave this scene here for now. Perhaps you can think of a suitable way to close this little skirmish. ]

And so he had his son. Padme's son. The last living remnant of the woman he'd loved. 

But what to do with him. 

Taking him back to Corescant was out of the question. Loath though he was to admit it, Obi-wan did have a valid point. Padme would not want her son to be used as a tool for Palpatine's power. Not to mention that there was that tiny matter of the rule of two. It was possible that the old man might not even allow the boy to live. Either that, or order the father's death and take the boy as a new apprentice. Young, and malleable, and still whole. But if he was gone, then who would protect the boy while he grew?

Vader unconsciously tightened his grip on the boy, wrapping him in an invisible cloak of dark and territorial feelings. A gesture protecting him both physically and psychically. He needed to keep his son safe. That was priority one. Everything else was detail. It could be sorted out later. First thing first, he needed to get Luke to a secure location. After that he could figure out what to do. Corescant was out. But Naboo didn't sound to appealing either. While he was sure Padme's family would be more than happy to take in her motherless child, it would be to easy to find him there. 

Briefly, he considered Tatooine. They were already here, after all. And it was where he grew up. But no. The environment was too harsh. Both ecologically and culturally. Slavery was to prevalent and to many households were just a few credits difference away from selling their own children into bond to feed themselves. He would not risk his son becoming a slave. He would not allow his son to grow up believing slavery to be a common and acceptable practice. Slowly, he ran through the list until he finally thought of one that might just be perfect. 

Remote. Out of common knowledge. Honor-based culture. And most important of all, completely dedicated to him. 

Vader didn't know why he didn't think of it first!

Now with a destination, they set course for Honoghr.

…

[And then I realized Anakin/Vader wouldn't have had time to construct a new lightsaber. Between "NOOOOOOOO!" and Obi-wan taking Luke to the Lars' there just isn't the opportunity to make one. So the fight between Kenobi and Vader couldn't have gone like that. I'll have to re-write the scene. ]

Kabarakh braced one arm against the speeder's dashboard, his other hand gripping the side panel so tightly his gray knuckles threatened to turn white. He was a Noghri warrior, trained to remain calm and composed even under great strain. …But none of his mentors had ever had the 'honor' of riding passenger in a speeder piloted by the Son of Vader. 

"Wha-hoooo!" The young human whooped as they banked a hard turn just in time to save them from plummeting down a rather steep ravine cut by the rushing waters of the Vas'ser river. Kabarakh let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. If the fall hadn't killed them, the waters surly would have. They sped off over the short scrubby kolm-grass of the wastes. 

...

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE

I’m not even sure I had an end-game for this. Just a vague idea of a premise. Like, was I gonna have Luke leave Honoghr at some point? Was the whole fic gonna be him growing up steeped in the culture? Some combination of the two?

Who the fuck knows?

I certainly don’t!

#star wars #honoghr #noghri #planet honoghr #luke skywalker #Darth vader #fan fiction #alternate universe #expanded universe #au #eu #timothy zahn #abandoned project #pre-disney buyout

[reapxrsarc]

a catch-all tag for old guard shenanigans; under the cut are character-specific verses available. unlike main verses, tog verses are not self-contained unless otherwise plotted. still uc, like the rest of this damn blog. tw for death, murder, slavery reference, and abuse under the cut.

v; i’m the definition of worn | tog ; rose

Rose died in 1798, fighting side by side with her aunt’s gang. They weren’t officially part of the United Irishmen, being all women, but that didn’t stop them from fighting. Very few of the gang survived, and Rose knew things would only get worse. She slipped out of Ireland and started traveling, was killed multiple times as a nonwhite woman traveling alone. She kept moving, fighting when fought with, or when she came across someone who couldn’t fight for themselves.

That changed in New York, in the early 1900s. Someone fought for her, a stunning butch with gorgeous green eyes and an unmistakably Irish accent. Rose let the woman take her home, check her over, feed her, and after a few days, take her to bed. Jennalynn was the first person in nearly a hundred years that made Rose feel at home again, and she was loathe to give it up. Unfortunately, the pair only had a decade together; a raid on one of their haunts left half the clientele arrested and more than a few dead, including Jennalynn, who was never one to back down from a fight.

She knows there are others like her; Jennalynn had been the one to figure out the meaning of her dreams. She never seeks them out, actively avoiding them when she can. With the loss of Jennalynn seared into her heart, she has no intention of finding them and growing close to anyone she might lose, again. Instead, she stays on the move, avoiding any roots or connections that last more than a couple days.

v; you can’t see it | tog ; cherry

Even though Ancient Greece was definitely one of her special interests, Layla hated having to write a paper on some boring Greek tragedy. She was interested in the people, the politics, the agriculture, not some lame play. Hoping to find something of interest, she started searching for the playwright's muse, hoping this "Andromaque" might be based on someone real.

She hit pay dirt. And then more.

Once she'd slapped together something passable for her paper, she threw herself into the research, collecting everything she could find about Andromache the Scythian, across more time periods than any one person should be involved in. She found others that popped up with her, and added them to her research. She kept all her information on a locked board, hidden in the depths of the web, signing off all her posts with a simple 🍒.

She was devastated when, some years later, her board got nuked, but whoever took her board down had to be an idiot if they thought she hadn't saved every piece of info she'd found to an external hard drive (or five), never to touch the internet. 🍒's Immortals was far from dead.

v; i’ve been quiet for too long | tog ; lily

As twins, they could not have looked more different; Lily with the dark skin of her mother, Jasmine with skin light enough to pass as white. Jasmine was awarded a position in the manor, while Lily worked the fields with her mother, until her mother was sold away. Jasmine started little rebellions then; sneaking extra food out to Lily and the others, framing violent overseers for whatever crime she could. Lily worried about her sister, of course, but Jasmine was all fire and very little caution.

It manifested in a slave rebellion on their plantation, quietly fed by Jasmine over several months. It went as well as many rebellions went; in mass slaughter. Lily was killed three times that night, hating every time she got back up. Come morning, her sister, her other half, her twin was hanged for her part in the rebellion.

Unlike Lily, she didn’t come back.

All of the caution and meekness curdled in her chest, seeing her sister’s body, and that night Lily slaughtered the entire family, still covered in her own blood, before stealing a dress and burning down the plantation. She started walking north and never looked back.

Four hundred years later, Lily is still aching with the loss of her sister, unable to move past the loss of being a matching set. She drinks copiously to deal with the unbalance, and is more than happy to pulverize any racist she crosses.

v; prey on the powerful | tog ; freesia

Ramona María was born in Spain in the mid-1500s, but was still an infant when her parents immigrated to México. As a child, she was promised to the son of a wealthy but politically powerless criollo, offering him some political power in exchange for financial security. Ramona was always too spirited for a proper Spanish Catholic woman, and hated the boy she was later forced to marry. She kept her distaste of him quiet, though, as she was fond of his younger sister. The two became very close companions, before and after the marriage, and Ramona convinced her husband not to marry his sister off, as it would affect his power and income.

The charade did not last long. Ramona bore her husband a son, and while she was still recovering from the pregnancy, she refused her husband’s sexual demands and was killed for it. When his brutality didn’t stick, she happily returned the favor and stole off in the middle of the night with her sister-in-law and son. They went as far north as they could, Ramona pretending to be a widow until she recovered enough to pass as a man. The charade only lasted a few years, as her now lover hated not having the comforts of home, took the child, and returned to their villa. She - and especially the male heir - were welcomed with open arms, and Ramona was mourned as dead.

She passed many years as a man, traveling around the world, happily and quietly killing abusers where she found them. As long as people considered her a man, no one questioned her female companions, either.

v; do you think it’s gonna be that simple | tog ; daisy

Daisy doesn’t talk much about her past; it’s been long enough that she claims she doesn’t remember it. She lost count of the years quickly, knowing only that she was younger than the Rosh Hashanah celebration she stumbled across some hundreds of years later. She was not quite eighteen when she died, brutally killed by her father, who she in turn obliterated when she realized she was alive and well and no longer in pain. She knew better than to stay and started running, and has been running ever since. It became harder as her youth became more contentious - whether passing as a boy or a young woman, she was always too young to be traveling alone. The proliferation of guns and cars were godsends, and she mostly stays in cars now, keeping to places no one will look twice at her, more guns hidden around her than anyone would realize. She’s an assassin for hire, as long as no one sees her face, they don’t object to a young girl having the skill she does with a sniper rifle. As much as she’d love to join others like her, she’s all too aware of how difficult it is to stay under the radar when perceived as a minor, and she doesn’t like the idea of shifting that risk onto others.

v; i’m a nightmare even in the day | tog ; four horsemen

Daisy was the one to find them all, bringing them together out of the vicious loneliness of immortality. Shamira was the one to joke that Daisy must be Death, come to finally escort her home, and Ramona was quick to declare herself War in response. It took some explaining what she meant; Ramona was the only Christian of the group. Once the mythology of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was shared, Autumn and Shamira laid claim to the last two, Pestilence and Famine respectively. It’s their own inside joke, mixed with the pidgin sign language they’ve formed over the centuries to accommodate Autumn’s hearing difficulties.

v; if the city’s on fire i’ll stand in the ashes | tog ; poppy

All her life, she had known death to be her eventual solace, so when she was finally used and broken past the point of no return, she welcomed the cold embrace of death.

And then she woke up again.

Bitter and hateful, the only escape she'd ever hoped for taken from her, she killed her way to freedom. She was covered in blood by the time she got out, and only some of it was her own. With no strong grip on any recognized language and no connections to the outside world, the nameless girl stole everything she could carry and started wandering.

Whoever got to her first would be the one to set her trajectory for the rest of her immortal life.

v; dedicate my life to something richer | tog ; lovebirds

Her lack of mortality only became an issue when white people showed up. Her original name - and entire tribe - are lost to time, but she has been a thorn in the colonists' sides for as long as she can remember. She was born shortly before the harvest, on what would eventually be called the autumnal equinox in the northern hemisphere, and so eventually adopted the name Autumn for herself.

Even though they had been dreaming of each other for nearly a decade, finding Shamira felt like luck, like fate, like destiny. Though it had taken nearly a century after the demise of her tribe for Autumn to leave her tribal lands, she had never left the continent she was born on. Shamira opened her eyes to the plight of indigenous people on other continents, and as a member of a diaspora herself, the plight of people unhomed everywhere. 

The two are inseparable, a balance neither realized they needed in the other, and have been married a hundred different ways in a hundred different places. They recognize no border, no government other than one's own culture, and fight to protect those that have been ground down by supremacist installations.

v; i’d rather be a lover than a fighter | tog ; lavender

She had always been a healer, learned at her grandmother's knee, though a little too fire-spirited to ever stay in one place. Her travels ended her in hot water, killed for witchcraft in a Puritan colony. No one paid any mind when her body disappeared, too wrapped up in their own hysterias. She kept traveling, avoiding white colonies, learning healing tricks from anyone who would teach her. She sailed with pirates, helping their assorted illnesses in exchange for safe passage through waters, shed her given name for that of the woman she learned from most.

Anais learned as much modern medicine as she could, attending multiple universities as soon as black women were allowed to, and marrying the old ways to the new. She offers help to all who would need it, though rarely stays in the same place for too long. Many 'haunted' houses scattered around the world are hers, gardens she tends to when she has time, healing herbs grown wild in her absence. Not all of her plants travel well, after all, and it's always best to grow them in their native soils.

#v; i'm a rebel ; i'm a fighter | the old guard #v; i’m the definition of worn | tog ; rose #v; you can’t see it | tog ; cherry #v; i’ve been quiet for too long | tog ; lily #v; do you think it’s gonna be that simple | tog ; daisy #v; i’m a nightmare even in the day | tog ; four horsemen #v; prey on the powerful | tog ; freesia #v; if the city’s on fire i’ll stand in the ashes | tog ; poppy #v; dedicate my life to something richer | tog ; lovebirds #v; i’d rather be a lover than a fighter | tog ; lavender

[growingstronglikeahighgardenrose]

Night Divine

Title: Night Divine

Prompt: Night Divine

Pairings: Sidney/Charlotte, Babington/Esther, Clara/Crowe

Short: Based on an idea I saw on authorinmyhead’s Instagram account: at exactly midnight on new years eve, following their 22nd birthday, everybody possesses the body of their soulmate and tries to leave notes so the other can find them. Crowe had managed to ruin his chances by being too drunk to leave behind a clue. Sidney and Babington were determined to learn from his mistake. But not all soulmates want to be found.

AO3

Scholars had studied ancients texts for centuries trying to understand how it had come to be.

But in the end, they all came to the same conclusion: the beginning of the new year had always been celebrated. There were enough tales by the romans and greeks confirming they, and even the pagan regions had their ways of celebrating the event.

After the collapse of the roman empire, written documents were harder to come by. By the time another document was written about the celebration of the New Year, it was noted that all people of twenty-two years of age were transported into the body of their soulmate for sixty seconds at the end of the year in which they turned twenty-two.

Whenever someone turned twenty-two, the New Year Party was usually moved to New Year’s Day, so that on the last night of the year, the whole family could gather and organize a party for the family member turning twenty-two. It had become known as Night Divine, since God showed his divine judgement on that night, creating unions as he deemed fit.

Though this was tradition, many preferred to have at least some measure of privacy when it happened. It was also rarely celebrated by those in the highest ranks in society, where soulmates rarely married, and many young ladies were wed before they reached the age of twenty-two. They spent the night in private, and when they were transported into the bodies of their soulmates, they tried not to find out who the other was. They shed their tears in private as well, for having seen their soulmate without ever being able to meet them. Unless money troubles forced young people to wed, most refrained from it until they were past the age of twenty-two. This was not to say love was not found before that time. Many young couples dreaded the moment the first of them turned twenty-two.

Of course, the day wasn’t always a happy one. There were struggles: people who reached the age of twenty-two and weren’t transported into another being. In the best case their soulmate wasn’t born yet or too young so they couldn’t leave a note or name behind , and they would have to wait until their soulmate turned twenty-two so they could find them in turn. Then there were those who didn’t have a soulmate or a soulmate who had died too soon. There were quite some people who got notes in another language, or with an address from another country. However, most times, the person seemed to be from their own country, a grace of God.

 It was 1813 when Matthew Crowe was catapulted out of his own body on the Divine Night of New Year’s Eve, and thrown into the body of another lady.

He had been home for all of three months after the war had ended, and had not spent a day sober since. As the fourth son to a baronet, he’d tried gaining glory and rising in his father’s esteem by joining the military. This had not been an original idea, since sons two and three, who had always been better people, had joined first. However, Crowe was the only one to return home. And he was the only one of his friends to return home as well. He’d quit the military the second he set foot on English soil again, but the haunting memories hadn’t quit him. He quickly discovered that if he drank too much, he’d have a deep dark dreamless sleep. As one might imagine, he was in London away from his family, and had spent no thoughts on the importance of the New Year’s Eve he was about to have. He’d stumbled out of the cards room where Parker and Babington sat to relieve himself, when the bells started ringing to announce the new year.

In a spacious green living room he didn’t recognize, sat people he didn’t recognize. Everything was strange and weird and he was still drunk. He stumbled through the room, through a pair of white doors and landed in an apartment hallway, before being catapulted back into his own body.

He’d ran back towards the card room as fast as he could, and threw up before being able to tell his friends about it. He was glad they asked so many questions, and he was glad they weren’t as shitfaced as him, because the next morning, he woke up with an incredible hangover and didn’t remember a thing. His friends managed to tell him he’d gone into the body of a young woman somewhere in a city. But they couldn’t tell him anything about her name, country or looks. He’d fucked up beyond compare. But the shock of having squandered away his soulmate was enough to get his alcohol problem back to a manageable level.

Luckily for Crowe, there was a backup, since the day he had visited his soulmate, there had been a link between the two. He knew things he used to know nothing about, like slavery and politics. And sometimes his body ached without him having injured himself. It was the bond. Crowe found it a lot of bollocks. He didn’t need their pain or knowledge, he needed their name.

It had also been a lesson for his friends, who turned twenty-two the following year. They had prepared for the event as well as they could. They knew all pieces of advice out there: don’t waste time on any talking until you get your name and address out, try to write in multiple languages if you can’t figure out where you are, don’t let propriety keep you for calling out for help as quickly as possible, if all else failed they had to use pieces of furniture to spell their surname or write their name in their own blood. They had chosen to celebrate New Year’s Eve in private. They’d put down papers and pens, mirrors and personal attributes in case their soulmate reached the age of twenty-two as well. On top of that, Crowe would be there to talk to their soulmates when they entered their bodies.

But instead, Crowe sat there as the bodies of his friends slumped lifelessly into their chairs.

••••••••••

The first thing Sidney Parker registered was the sound of breaking glass. Looking around him, he spotted shards of glass at his feet, or rather, her shoes, for he was thrown into the body of a sizeably shorter woman.

‘Charlotte?  Charlotte?’

Sidney looked up in confusion.

‘You’re not Charlotte, are you? Oh dear, that’s quite the age gap. She’s five years younger’, the woman bemoaned.

‘No. So her name is Charlotte?’

‘Yes! But dear wife, five years is fine, it’s not too bad. I am her father, this is her mother, and these are her grandmother and grandfather on my side of the family, that’s her grandmother on her mother’s side, and these are her siblings.’

There were more siblings than Sidney could count.

Dear God, these people clearly loved each other a lot.

His seconds were dwindling however.

‘My name is Sidney Parker. I live in San-‘

He’d managed to get his name across, but was frustrated that he hadn’t caught hers. There were thousands of Charlotte’s in the country. But her family was friendly,

  ••••••••••

  Babington’s encounter was possibly even worse than that. For when he entered his soulmate’s body, she was already kissing someone else. He drew back quickly, red hair fluttering around his head.

‘Who are you?’

‘Who are you?’

‘You turned twenty-two too?’

The man with the blond hair nodded.

‘They don’t have pens or paper on them.’

‘They probably thought they were soulmates. Quick. Let’s call for paper and pens and tell everyone our name. We have no time to lose.’

‘Yes!’

They threw open the doors and started running, calling for paper and pens and servants. They weren’t about to end up as cautionary tales about people who took too long to analyse their situation and then failing to leave a trace behind.

‘Edward, Esther! What’s with the shouting?’

A moody old lady, whose look screamed wealth, looked at them with suspicious eyes.

‘Edward, what news of your soulmate?’

‘I’m Lord James Babbington!’

‘And I’m Miss –‘

 ••••••••••

  Sidney and Babington were thrown back into their own bodies.

‘Well?’

‘No one came here. Congratulations. You both got yourselves younger ladies. So tell me, how was it?’

‘She had a big family. A very big one. Her name was Charlotte. Her father mother said she was five years younger than me. But the father started introducing the whole family. I only got my name across, not hers.’

‘Sucks man. But hey, they can find you. There aren’t that many Parkers in England. Now Write everything down. Every little detail. Babbers, how about you?’

‘She was kissing someone else.’

‘Ow man’, Crowe sighed.

‘The man she was kissing had just turned twenty-two. The couple probably thought they were soulmates.’

‘I’m sorry’, Sidney said, and laid a supportive hand on his shoulder.

‘It was quite confusing. The girl in the body of the blond man wasn’t the girl whose body I was in, otherwise she would have recognized herself. So the couple had gotten it wrong. We started running around, looking for a way to get our name across. Then there was this woman who addressed both me and the girl on a first name basis.  I managed to say my name but then I was thrown back. I just wonder who is in the position to call both parts of a couple by a first name basis. Isn’t that odd? And then she only asked the boy about his soulmate.’

‘Perhaps the girl is still under the age of twenty-two?’

‘Yes, that’s what I assumed. But why would the woman address both parties with their first names? Come to think of it, why would you ask someone who already has a partner about their soulmate? It would destroy the relationship.’

‘If there is one.’

‘What?’

‘People only use first names in close family circles. If the couple were married, she would address at least one of them with their surname or title. So they’re not married. And the old woman knew both of them. They could be family, or very close friends. And the most logical reason one would ask such a harmful question would be if they were unaware of the inappropriateness.’

‘Have you even drank today?’

‘Not a drop. But now I can start.’

‘Those were some very strong deductive skills Crowe, you could be great if you didn’t drink so much.’

‘I’ve done my part for my country.’

‘So… They’re family… And in a secret relation?’

‘The last part makes sense, taking into accord the first. Congratulations, Babbers. You got yourself into a proper mess.’

‘Don’t talk about them that way. We’re just jumping to conclusions right now. I wonder if they’ll be able to find us.’

‘Time will tell’, decided Sidney. He hadn’t been looking forward to discovering his soulmate, after Eliza had ripped his heart out by marrying someone rich before either of them reached the age of twenty-two. He didn’t know whether he should be relieved or sad that his soulmate hadn’t been Eliza. But it did help him to process the years old heartache. He now knew he wasn’t destined to be with her, and knew he wasn’t intended to stay alone.

••••••••••

Three years passed, and they weren’t contacted by the girls. Sidney could only guess at the reasons, but Babington feared his soulmate might have decided to stay together with the blond man she’d been kissing. People sometimes didn’t want their soulmate. It had happened before. Most of the times they’d found love before finding out their soulmate, or they hated the principle that someone else decided what was best for them.

They did feel them though. Babington rarely felt anything. Sidney woke up with grazed knees a lot, and he sometimes felt annoying tingles on his arms during daytime. It was clear his soulmate was an active one. Crowe however, had it worse. He was woken up in the middle of the night a lot. His night shirt wet, and his body aching all over. Sometimes, even during the day in the middle of a conversation, he’d fall to the floor, suffering pains he could neither describe nor place. He never wanted to talk about it, but his friends were there for him.

On the end of the third year, something changed. They all kept each other from drinking too much before the stroke midnight, as they did each year since Crowe got drunk and lost his soulmate. They were playing cards at the New Year’s Eve party of the prince regent when Crowe suddenly shot up. Sidney recognized the sign and immediately took the pen and paper he’d put in his coat.

‘Who are you?’

‘Clara. Clara Brereton.’

‘Where do you live?’

‘He never looked for me before. He especially shouldn’t start now. Please, don’t let him start looking.’

‘Our friend was drunk. He couldn’t leave you a message because of it. He deeply regrets it. He knew not how to find you. Who are your parents?’

‘They’re very poor. I don’t live with them. Where am I?’

‘You are in the body of Mr. Matthew Crowe. I am Mr. Parker, this is Lord Babington. You’re at the New Year’s party of the prince regent.’

‘Oh my God.’

They’d never seen such a terrified and simultaneously impressed look in the eyes of their friend. If she was poor, it was no wonder that she felt shy to share any information when she was catapulted into such wealth.

‘Tell Mr. Crowe that I am so sorry for all the pain he must have felt. I tried to prevent it. I tried. I’m still looking for ways to put an end to it, for his sake. Do tell him I apologize. I’m fine as a person, it’s just that sometimes… Painful things happen. Don’t let him look for me please. Goodbye.’

A muscle spasm signalled that the lady had left Crowe’s body and that their friend had returned.

‘It feels so weird. When your soul isn’t the one doing the travelling, you actually stay put and you can feel them in you. She’s a strong feisty one. I like her.’

He grinned at them, but upon seeing their furrowed brows, his smile fided.

‘What?’

‘She didn’t want to give us her address.’

‘What – why?’

‘I believe she might be in bad company. She mentioned her parents being poor and being in a bad place to be visited. She also apologized for all the pain she’s caused you and wanted to assure you that she tried to prevent the pain. Crowe, could you tell us what that was about?’

Mr. Crowe ignored Babington and directed his next question at Sidney.

‘Didn’t she tell her name?’

‘Miss Brereton. Clara Brereton.’

‘I’ve heard that name before, I think. But it’s a really distant memory. I don’t know where from’, confessed Lord Babington.

‘Doesn’t sound familiar to me’, Sidney sighed.

‘But Crowe, what of it?’ Lord Babington encouraged. The curly haired man stood and shook his head.

‘I’ll be needing that drink. Night Divine my ass.’

His drinking worsened after that night. She wasn’t going to look for him, and Lord Babington tried really hard to remember where he got the name from, but he couldn’t.

Crowe checked the registers in every town he passed through, but there was no Brereton household in which any Clara lived.

He drank even more after that.

••••••••••

Once a year, he did his best to remain sober until midnight, so that he could help his friends. This year was the year Sidney knew his soulmate would reach the age of twenty-two.

Lord Babington still hadn’t heard a thing from his soulmate, he’d given up the hope that she would magically change her mind about him. So he started philandering like he had before New Year 1814, but he never got attached, and nothing ever satisfied him. She was still there, on the back of his mind, an invisible presence with no personality or surname, yet connected to him by divine fate. Though he’d gathered she was quite stubborn, from years of refusing to unite with her soulmate, or even just contacting him out of curiosity.

He hadn’t expected that, on December 31st 1819, he would get a visit from his soulmate as well.

Crowe, who was still hungover from the previous day since he hadn’t drank enough that day, Crowe, whose hands were shaking violently, almost jumped out of his chair when both of his friends fell backwards in their chairs before shooting upright.

His two friends looked around, the grouchy face of Parker being replaced by a surprised and amazed expression, and the face of his good humoured friend become guarded and haughty. It were quite strange expressions on their faces.

‘Right. Hello there, before you are mirrors so you can check out your future husbands. Please, write down your full names and addresses on these papers. Full names and addresses of Parker and Babbers are on them as well. Memorize them as well as you can, though my friends will do their utmost bests to contact you. I’m their friend: Mr. Crowe.’

Parker started writing immediately, but Babington stared at his hands, before reaching for the mirror. He looked to be quite apprehensive, touching his own face.

‘How is he?’ asked Parker’s soulmate.

‘Sidney’s a caring young man. Good sense of humour, but rather ill-humoured most days. Can be gruff, but I’m sure a kind wife will be able to knock that out of him. I’ve seen him being warm and friendly before. He’s the youngest brother of three, no worries though, he’s still rich. Yours is too, even more so, Miss.’

Babington looked up and frowned. It was a mighty strange look on him, and Crowe wished Babington would never scrutinize him in the way his soulmate was now scrutinizing him with Babington’s eyes.

‘I don’t care about wealth.’

‘He’s got a great personality too. Very friendly, very caring. He puts up with a lot of my shit.’

Babington looked away. He still hadn’t touched the paper.

‘Could you please write your name? He knows you might be together with someone else, and he won’t force himself on you. He just wants to know who you are.’

‘He would? That’s… Very kind. Tell him that even in my darkest dreams I couldn’t imagine him forgiven me for what I was doing at the moment he entered my body. That man is dead to me now.  It’s why I never contacted him. I was too ashamed. And I’m not worth having. I’m not going to contact him, and I don’t want him to find me. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. There’s no reason why we should be together. I –‘

Despite the fact that they had all talked at an incredible speed, there still hadn’t been enough time. The bodies in front of him shook, and his friends returned to him, looking at him with expectant eyes.

  Sidney grabbed the paper. ‘Charlotte Heywood. Willingden. Heywood Farm. Didn’t contact you because my parents wanted to make sure we were matched’, he read out loud.

Babington looked at the paper in front of him. ‘I’m sorry for what happened. I wish you well, Esther.’ She hadn’t given any new information.

His eyes connected with Crowe’s. His friend was crestfallen. ‘She’s not together with the man she was kissing. She was too ashamed by the event, that’s why she never contacted you. I don’t think she has a lot of confidence.’

‘She doesn’t. I could… I could feel her. It was so dark. There was humour, and a softness, but she’s not doing great I think.’

‘She said something about not being worth having. Welcome to the club man, these women just don’t want to be found.’

‘We’re forgetting someone, Crowe. Parker, how was your lady?’

‘She…’ He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t keep himself from laughing. ‘She’s like a ball of energy, excitement and joy. Quite overwhelming. She’ll be a handful.’

‘Congratulations, dear friend. Seems broody old you can finally meet your match. May she be the sunlight that lights your dark mood.’

Sidney Parker tried his best to scowl, but failed to do so. He set out for the Heywood farm the day after the holidays were officially over, a ring in his pocket.

••••••••••

Esther Denham hadn’t thought her life would go this way.

At the age of seventeen, she was certain that she and her stepbrother were going to be together forever. Edward wasn’t an affectionate man. But he was the only one who was there for her after her parents died. The only one who took the trouble to know her and keep her company. He also claimed to love her and promised to never leave her.

At the end of her eighteenth year on this planet, at the beginning of December, she’d overheard some town girls talking about how he’d been intimate with a maid of Lady Denham’s. She’d confronted him, and first he’d denied it, but then he’d admitted to it. He promised her that it was an accident and that it wouldn’t happen again, for she was his true love. In an attempt to prove how certain he was, he kissed her at midnight.

It had been the end of all promises. It was their first kiss, and their last kiss. Because she suddenly felt a presence in her body which was decidedly not Edward. The presence of this person filled her up with warmth. And he simultaneously felt like a cool bath on a hot summer’s day. Edward had never felt as soothing and gentle as the man. Edward was fire: burning everything he encountered on his path; he was ice: cold and unyielding. At the same time his body had been inhabited by a girl apparently, or so their aunt told them afterwards.

Her aunt wished she’d contact Lord Babington immediately, but Edward told her soulmates were forced upon them by deities and society. “What does some God above know what is good for us? Why do we let them decide.” Esther listened for a year, and kept anyone from contacting her soulmate. A year in which Edward grew even more money hungry and merciless, visited his aunt when she was ill as if her sickly form was some kind of theatre piece for him to watch, and kept screwing around.

She decided that perhaps God couldn’t know everything, but both God and she herself could clearly see that Edward was bad for her. She gave up on his empty promises. It had been a hard thing to do. He turned her life into a living hell, calling her names, berating her and exercising all male control he could. All the while he kept on screwing Clara in an attempt to disgrace her, but Clara managed to avoid the truth getting out to anyone except Esther. She became isolated. And all his comments on her stupidity seeped right through her skin. She was too proud to show him how they got to her, but in the privacy of her room she couldn’t help but break down a little more each day. She hated herself for ever having been in love with him. She hated herself for trusting men. She hated herself for being stupid and powerless. And the only thing which could have been good about her life, her soulmate, had been taking from her by her own stupidity as well. She’d been seventeen and had still been years away from turning twenty-two, but she’d known that others could get into her body at the stroke of midnight. The only impression her soulmate would have, would be that instead of awaiting a soulmate or celebrating the New Year, that she’d been kissing someone else, without a wedding ring in sight that would excuse it.

She refrained from contacting her soulmate in the following years as well. She felt she’d ruined it. He was a lord. He’d be wealthy and well acquainted with the ways of the world. Meanwhile she was poor, was involved in an improper relationship as far as he knew, and had spent all her life in a stupid seaside town. Nothing about her would be attractive to a lord. She hadn’t made a good first impression, the only thing she could do was avoid him to keep him from discovering more bad things about her. If they met, he’d find out she’d been kissing her stepbrother. If that didn’t make him run: her stupidity and lack of wealth would make it happen. Besides, she didn’t know if she could trust another man, even one whose presence felt like a comfortable blanket.

In her twenty third year of life, she knew their paths were bound to cross again. She wondered if he was the way he seemed when he inhabited her body for a minute. She wondered what he thought of her. Though she knew she wouldn’t get answers. She decided it would be for the best if she didn’t give him a way to contact her. The only thing she wished to do, was to find a way to apologize.

She hadn’t expected to interact with someone. She hadn’t expected him to be this prepared. She hadn’t expected to be forgiven. She hadn’t expected to hear what he was like, and she hadn’t expected to be able to look at his face. He was actually quite handsome. But her confidence was so low, hearing of his forgiveness only made her feel worse. She felt too self-aware. She couldn’t believe she was matched to wealthy lord, who was so kind he’d forgive her and wish her all happiness. She wasn’t worth the forgiveness, and she wasn’t worthy of such a fine spouse, she was so much less.

She was glad that she’d managed to apologize. But going into his body had been a curse, for now his face filled her dreams, and her mind kept conjuring images of situations which could never happen.

 ‘Is there something the matter, cousin?’

‘Nothing you should know of, Clara.’

‘I’m not your enemy.’

‘How can you be something else, if we’re vying for the same thing?’

‘I would like to have some of her money, yes. I have none of it myself. This is a competition, but it’s not worth this fight.’

‘You have no problem fighting over it with my brother in the most creative of ways.’

‘Don’t tell me you want him? Whatever you imagine, that is quite impossible. And he’s not a good man, you’re a fool if you can’t see that. Besides, it’s all on Edward. I never initiated anything. He keeps forcing himself on me, and I keep barely avoiding scandal. I don’t want him, and I don’t want scandal. A scandal will be the end of me.’

‘I don’t want him. And I don’t really care about the money either. That’s always been Edward. I just wanted a happy life.’

Clara nodded.

‘We could be allies, you know. The two of us are stronger and smarter than him.’

‘And do what?’

‘I don’t know. But we could stop him from influencing our lives so much. We could support each other… You turned twenty-two last year, do you know your soulmate?’

‘Yes but… I… We can’t.’

‘I rejected mine as well. I told you before I managed to survive Edward because I was used to someone a lot worse in my previous home. There’s an automatic connection between soulmates, he probably felt what happened to me. To anyone who knows the extent of what I’ve experienced, I’m ruined goods. And he’s so privileged. I would risk his reputation if he’d have me at all, since he probably knows or suspects what happened.’

Eshter didn’t feel comfortable confiding in Clara yet. She was still suspicious, despite her cousin’s openness. But in a matter of months, that changed. Clara made sure Esther spent a lot of time in Lady Denham’s house, away from Edward’s influence. The old woman wasn’t particularly enjoyable, but Esther managed to score some points for making an effort for her aunt.

In turn, Esther made sure to follow Edward and Clara. An end came to Edward’s days of trying to ruin Clara. In Juli of the same year, the women outed Edward’s gambling, dalliances with kitchen maids, and attempts to find and destroy Lady Denham’s will when the old woman took ill.

Edward was scrapped from the will, and banished from Sanditon.

 ••••••••••

 Charlotte and Sidney had been courting for six months. It hadn’t always been easy. Sidney had been imperious, hard, arrogant and guarded, despite being eager to get to know his soulmate. And Charlotte had been overly open and young. But by and by, they got to understand one another, and had brought out the best in each other. She’d altered him so much, that he even started feeling guilty for ignoring his brother’s pleas for help and support in Sanditon. And so, under Charlotte’s encouragements, it was decided that they were going to marry in Sanditon. Charlotte was a small country girl, and wouldn’t have minded a small wedding, but upon meeting his brother, she felt her marriage to his brother could help to put Sanditon on the map, which in turn would help Sanditon grow and bring money to the oldest Parker brother.

All Heywoods moved to the town for the summer months. As she lived there, she got to know Sidney’s ward Miss Georgiana, and quickly befriended her, despite the girl being quite reserved at first because she thought Charlotte would support Sidney in everything. But she learned very quickly that Charlotte wasn’t like Sidney, and that she didn’t have any problem opposing him if she thought it would make Georgiana’s life better. She also got to know Lady Denham and her cousins, the ladies were quite reserved and though she didn’t like the Lady or Miss Brereton too much, Miss Denham’s manners and humour reminded her of Sidney which lead to Charlotte taking an instant liking to her. She sometimes wondered if the Esther Denham of Sanditon had been the Esther she’d met at the end of the previous year. She knew that Esther hadn’t wanted to meet her soulmate, but she couldn’t help but think how delightful it would be if Sidney’s best friend would find true love in Sanditon, in a girl she liked very much. She tried to find anything which would give away whether Esther Denham was the Esther of New Year’s Eve. She was quite funny, and the Esther of New Year hadn’t been funny. This Esther also had quite a confident air, which the Esther of New Year didn’t have. She also didn’t know the age of this Esther. In the end she decided that it was unlikely that it was the same Esther, since this one gave no sign of recognition when she was introduced to Charlotte. While the Esther of New Year’s Eve should have recognized her name, and the face of her fiancé.

She befriended some of the workmen as well, and grew even closer to the eldest Parker. Before the wedding took place, Charlotte managed to create a series of events to draw attention to the town, from a regatta to a ball to entertain Sidney’s London acquaintances before the wedding.

It was a great success. Everything was booked. Even the newly built block of buildings was rented and inhabited before they had applied the finishing touches. The last licks of paint were for after the wedding. Tom was ecstatic.

••••••••••

Esther had known, the second she saw Sidney Parker after his years of absence, with a young lady holding on to his arm, that she would be in trouble.

He was the man she’d sat next to when she was transported into the body of her fiancé. If he was going to marry, his friends would no doubt come.

She felt the instinctive need to hide, but since she met the two at a dinner, she was incapable of doing so. So she just put on her habitual confident and indifferent air, and pretended not to recognize them when they were introduced. Clara had noticed her freezing when the Parker brother entered the dining room however, and asked her about it after everyone had left.

Gods ways were ineffable, it turned out, since Clara recognized the man as well. It was that even they realized they were destined to be with Mr. Parker’s two friends. And they both comforted the other with the knowledge that their soulmates didn’t know what they looked like. Though Mr. Crowe knew Clara’s surname. They vouched to keep the others identity safe in case one of them was revealed though.

At the dinner, Esther had inconspicuously asked when the guests would start coming in. First, they would the day before the wedding, but that changed when Miss Heywood made an event calendar to lure the guests sooner. News came out that Mr. Parker’s friends would come in early and participate in the regatta. Esther and Clara stayed away with their aunt, who had ‘no desire in running around on a hill to get mud on a dress , and risk twisting an ankle on the grass.’

The midsummer ball, however, was inevitable. But they were grateful for Charlotte for giving the ball a theme. In a popular twist on the divine night, Charlotte had decided to make it a costumed party. Everyone was to wear a mask. And at the stroke of midnight, everyone would reveal their identity to their dance partner, like the identity of soulmates was uncovered at midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Esther and Clara knew Mr. Crowe and Lord Babington would be present, and they knew a certain Esther Denham and the Clara Brereton would be present.

Since Miss Heywood mentioned a Clara and an Esther attending the ball, both Crowe and Babington had agonized over whether or not to go looking for them. Crowe had done the Crowe thing and gotten himself drunk, and Babington had done the Babington thing and accepted Miss Heywood’s negative answer on whether she thought it might be his soulmate called Esther.

••••••••••

Charlotte greeted Esther and Clara with a big smile. She was wearing a swan mask, and it suited her perfectly. Esther had opted for a dark blue mask covering her eyes. A blue floorlength veil was attached to it as well, hiding a good part of her hair. Clara wore a simple white mask hiding half of her face.

A tall figure which couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else’s than Sidney Parker made his way towards them, with three other men and a lady in tow.

‘Ah, ladies. I’d like to introduce my friends.’

‘Is this not a masked ball? You shouldn’t, Mr. Parker’, noted Esther.

‘Alright, but you already know my name?’

‘I think you’re a bit too recognisable, Mr. Parker’, laughed his fiancée.

‘But how am I to introduce my friends?’

‘Fake names. Anyone can be anyone tonight”, decided Clara.

‘I shall be Lord Dionysys.. sus?’, slurred a man with curly hair and a red mask obscuring his entire face except his mouth region. On both cheeks, wine bottles were drawn.

‘How fitting’, Clara smirked.

Esther couldn’t help but smile.

‘Ser Lancelot’, said another.

‘Lady of the Lake’, decided the woman with black hair in a long white and blue dress with many jewels. ‘Pleased to meet you, and nice to see you again, Charlotte.’

‘Lady Su-‘ Charlotte tried asking, but the woman laid a finger on her lips. ‘We must keep the mystery. Even though I cheated.’

Everyone now focussed on the last man. His hair was almost invisible underneath his black hat, and his face was concealed by a black scarf with holes cut out for the eyes. Fake whiskers and a goatee were drawn on his upper lip and chin.

‘I don’t want to be any ser or lord tonight, I shall be Claude Duval.’

‘I am Miss Swan tonight’, decided Charlotte.

‘I shall be Miss Bennett. Since I enjoyed Pride and Prejudice’, Clara decided.

Esther looked about.

‘I’m afraid I’m not feeling particularly inspired.’ She thought about popular works of fiction and myths and legends which might tell something about her.

‘I shall go by the name Rhiannon.’ A strong minded goddess who chose her own husband and was often misinterpreted wasn’t a bad thing to be.

    ‘Our friend assures us of good sport here, shall we find any?’ asked the inebriated incarnation of the God of Wine.

‘I believe there is very little shooting in the neighbourhood, sir’, Esther shot back. The sooner Mr. Parker’s friends left them, the better.

‘I wasn’t thinking of shooting.’

‘My friend was thinking of dancing, I’m sure’, the highwayman dressed in black laughed while looking at his friend.

‘Could we persuade any of you young ladies to dance with us?’

It was the opposite of what Esther desired. But Charlotte skipped to her fiancé, Clara was approached by the Arthurian knight and she herself was approached by the highwayman.

    ‘You do wish to dance with me, don’t you?’

‘I suppose the intention of a ball is to dance.’

‘That doesn’t mean you wish to be dancing.’

‘I didn’t think a highwayman would take into account what someone desires.’

‘I’m not just any highwayman. I’m Duval. I’m a gentleman thief.’

‘And a thief of hearts, who asks women to dance with him after robbing their husbands.’

‘Ah, I’ve forgotten something then. Pray tell where your husband is, so I can rob him first.’

Esther had to laugh and shook her head.

‘Unfortunately, I have yet to find a husband who can be robbed.’

‘Pick one, if memory serves me well, you picked your own husband.’

That certainly got a new connotation, taking into account how she was avoiding her soulmate at this very moment. She wished she could distinguish the colour of his eyes or the structure of his hair. But both were shielded by the black fabric and hat. She could currently be dancing with him. Either that, or he was dancing with the Lady of the Lake. Clara was most definitely dancing with Mr. Crowe. Mr. Crowe hadn’t worn a hat, and she’d recognized him immediately. She wondered if Clara knew she was dancing with her soulmate.

‘I do. But I have yet to find someone I deem worthy of the title.’

‘Ha! And pray tell, what set of accomplishments must a man show before you deem him worthy, or do you deem the one chosen by Night Divine to be the worthy candidate?’

If Esther stepped on his foot, it was entirely by accident. How to tackle that topic? She collected her wits, after a nervous giggle escaped her mouth.

‘We’ve only known each other for five minutes, and you’re already asking about my soulmate? You rogue. Let’s not discuss it. The whole point of tonight is to have fun and pretend that we’re looking for our soulmate  blindly, until the clock chimes midnight. It’ll be the only time we can choose whose identity we wish to be revealed. I like to choose a soulmate for tonight, let’s not discuss the more serious variant.’

The man bit his lip. ‘As you wish, my goddess.’

Her heart was definitely not beating faster, thank you very much, nor were her cheeks burning. Esther decided their interactions were going way too smoothly. She decided to remain silent for the rest of the dance.

‘You wish to remain mysterious’, he concluded at the end of the dance.

‘Isn’t that the way of deities? Their ways are a mystery to the mortals. I’ve got to keep up the pretence.’

‘And you do so excellently. In some way, nights like these are supposed to strip one of the pretence of our usual lives, so we can be our truest selves, but our true self remains a mystery still, since our covers add a new layer to us. I sometimes wonder when one can be without pretence, I’m starting to think my life has been too full of it.’

‘I doubt there are many among us who can say that they've lived a life free from pretence.’

‘Well, then, surely, if we're to lead a better life we're honour bound to free ourselves from such a burden.’

The dance required Esther to take the hand of another man, which gave her time to reflect. She did tire of pretending. Pretending to be fine to others, pretending being cold and uncaring, pretending she wasn’t worried about meeting her soulmate, but the pretence seeped deeper than that: she tried to pretend to herself that she was alright with not meeting her soulmate. She pretended the dreams filled with visions of a future with him didn’t happen. It was tiring. She did admire the highwayman for his openness and friendliness, but at the same time his openness intimidated her. She wished she could remain silent and maintain her façade, because right now, she was everything but calm. He made her laugh, he made her wonder, he made her reflect, he made her curious, and his tall form made her stomach uneasy.

Lord Babington was struggling with his emotions as well. Every day for the past five years, a girl had been on the back of his mind, popping up whenever he was enjoying himself with someone else. She did now too, as he was enjoying a dance with the vibrant young woman in blue. He knew that somewhere out there, a sad insecure Esther lived, who didn’t deem herself worthy of her soulmate. He felt guilty for enjoying himself while she was depressed, with a funny, witty and confidant woman who clearly didn’t care a fig about soulmates. He wondered whether the woman in his arms had experienced Night Divine herself. He assumed she had, most young women who hadn’t were all star-eyed thinking about the moment they could finally contact their true love, while she seemed unwilling to think about him. A woman who didn’t want to think about her own soulmate, would perhaps not mind to be with a person who had a soulmate but was still single, like himself.

‘I feel disinclined to be in agreement with you too much, too soon. I wouldn’t want to give the impression I’m enjoying the company of a highwayman.’

Lord Babington had to laugh again. ‘No, no, no, no. Whatever you do, you must guard against that. The humiliation. You have your reputation to consider.’

‘And you yours, though I’m sure yours is beyond redemption.’

The woman nodded. The dance had ended, but their conversation hadn’t, and against her better judgement, Esther was persuaded to give him the next dance as well, when he offered her his hand.

‘I admit, I am a highwayman. But I think you’d be surprised. I’m not such a good-for-nothing as I would like. Had the king known me, he wouldn’t have hung me.’

The edges of reality started to blur, as both kept on drawing from the stories surrounding their characters. Yet, though while pretending to be another, Lord Babington spoke only truth when he admitted that he had spent his life pretending to be a good-for-nothing dandy who enjoyed gambling and women, in his darkest dreams, he wished to have a domestic life, filled with peace. And he wished peace for his friends as well. He’d much rather see them all nicely settled, instead of them having yet another drunken story to tell.

‘Are you going to tell me you are a misunderstood Robin Hood, who gifted to the poor instead? How cliché.’

‘Cliché?’

‘All thieves pretend to be good. Why can’t any of them just own up to the fact that they’re thieves? Not everything on this planet is done with good intentions. One can be satisfied if something if one’s actions merit oneself, to have those actions merit others as well is quite rare.’

‘You wouldn’t mind me stealing for my own merit only?’

‘It’s not good, by any means. But I believe it is still better if your actions serve you, than if you do things simply because you feel forced by society or acquaintances, in such cases, your actions don’t serve anyone. Those are the worst kinds of actions, not the selfish ones which merit you, not those who merit others, but those you do simply because you are expected to.’

‘You are full of wisdom, goddess Rhiannon. I hope our society will, in some future, learn not to apply so much pressure on its people. But in the meantime we can fight it by leading by example. Let’s not do things simply because they are expected of us.’

Esther bit her lip. She felt that her original comment, which had been meant to be merely amusing, had escalated and turned into something far too revealing and outright. Her words surprised even herself. What had she done not for herself but for something like society or propriety?

‘Spoken as a man and a thief. Women do not have such freedom. Should we go against the written and unwritten rules of society, our reputations would be tarnished. A lady’s reputation is everything. I shall leave men to the task, since they get every other important task in the world as well, save for childbearing.’

‘My word’, he laughed. She certainly wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. Of course, he could be just about anyone, instead of a Lord who indeed got all his money and his job simply by being born into the right household, and being born male. But it was still a bold statement to say to anyone. He knew quite a few women, in the higher ranks of society, who might exclaim similar things if they were wealthy enough, and they were either widowed or married to a particularly liberal husband. He had to admit he admired her spirit.

The song ended and the lady bowed.

‘Now I shall take my leave, so you might steal another woman’s heart. I’m quite attached to mine.’

‘But isn’t the fun in risking it?’ Babington couldn’t help but ask.

‘You have an awful idea of fun, you rascal.’

She disappeared, her stunning blue veil floating behind her.

  ••••••••••

Esther, Charlotte and Georgiana went outside to catch some air, and discuss the ball. Inside, the men were doing the same. The Lady of the Lake joined them and informed Charlotte that the oldest Mr. Parker was looking for her. She apologized and left.

‘How's your pursuit of the lady in blue progressing, then, Babington? I noticed you two shared two dances, and you seemed to be having a good time.’

‘Very well. She professes she must keep from agreeing with me, and has encouraged me to find other ladies for the evening. She's deliciously witty and smart. She had no problem playing the: men get to do everything card.’

‘Saucy bitch. And you, a peer of the realm. Has she any idea?’ asked Crowe.

Babington shook his head, smiling.

‘I love it’, Crowe laughed.

‘So, how long before you, er, bring her to heel?’

‘"Bring her to heel"? She's not a dog, Crowe, she's a young lady. Besides, there’s still Esther.’

‘She needs to be mastered. And mastering a girl is a great deal of fun. You’ve held on to her for over five years, Babington. Are you going to wait for her the rest of your life? All I’m saying is if you really like this one, why not go chase her? A real woman is so much better than some untouchable soulmate somewhere on the world’, venom seeped through his words. Years of his soulmate avoiding him while he felt her pain, made him grow bitter and frustrated. Lord Babington could hardly blame him, luck had never been on Crowe’s side. He couldn’t blame his friend from wanting to move on from his soulmate. But right now, during a ball, was not the time to have a serious conversation about it.

‘Mind you, I like a bit of spirit in a girl’, Babington admitted, continuing the conversation as if he wasn’t worried… and wasn’t seriously considering pursuing the red haired woman, which he was.

‘That Austen girl I was dancing with, she’s got some real spunk about her. I like that in a woman. If I found her in a certain other setting, I would definitely take her to my chambers’, he grinned.

‘You pig!’ scolded Lord Babington.

‘Now now, Crowe, perhaps a glass of orange juice would do you well’, frowned Sidney.

‘Not now’, his friend said as he noticed the girl standing beside an old woman.

He took off in her direction.

••••••••••

  By the time Esther went looking for Clara, it was too late. Clara had gone to her aunt, and Mr. Crowe had gone to Mr. Tom Parker, who had been talking to Charlotte, to ask who the old woman who didn’t bother with a mask was. He quite forgot the charade, and pointed out that it was Lady Denham, the wealthy patron of the town, with her ward Miss Brereton. Charlotte then saw Mr. Crowe marching towards Lady Denham and Clara.

Esther puzzled together Charlotte’s words with her own knowledge. Mr. Crowe might have been drunk, but not that drunk as to forget the surname of his soulmate. He had gone to her, demanding to know her first name, and Lady Denham had ruined it further by exclaiming: ‘Clara, what on earth is the meaning of all this.’

Mr. Crowe’s anger slipped out of him, and he turned on all his charm when replying Lady Denham that he was her soulmate, and she had been avoiding him for three years. He asked Lady Denham whether he was allowed to have a conversation with her while taking a turn about the room, and she had granted it.

Now the two of them were nowhere to be seen, and Esther most definitely panicked.

‘We must find them. You may not know, but they are soulmates. Mr. Crowe is drunk, and Clara has hidden herself from him for years. She only hid herself because it was risky to make herself known. Perhaps if he was sober I might have trusted them to have a civil conversation about it. But he isn’t.’

‘I had no idea’, Charlotte stammered.

‘What can we do?’ asked Lady Georgiana, clearly the most clear headed one.

‘We need to search. Each goes a different direction. Check for any open rooms or remote places.’

‘I take the upstairs’, Georgiana decided.

‘I take the left hallway, there are some two rooms open there, and some dark corners’, Charlotte said as she took her leave as well.

Which left Esther to do the hallway on the right. She tried to look inconspicuous at first, but grew more hurried as time progressed. But no door nor corner offered relief. She didn’t find a trace of her cousin anywhere.

She remained in the main hallway, unwilling to go in without finding her cousin, when suddenly, that very person emerged in the portal of the main door leading out towards the street. Everyone had looked on the inside of the building. It hadn’t crossed their mind that they may have left the building altogether. Behind her, an unmasked man walked, he was surprisingly steady on his feet. He seemed to have sobered overtime.

‘Cousin’, Clara greeted her without revealing her name, as they’d promised.

‘Are you alright?’

‘I am. We talked things over… Well, it was more like shouting from time to time… And crying. But I’m fine. We’re engaged.’

‘You are?’

Clara nodded, unable to hide her smile as tears started slipping out of the corners of her eyes.

‘I couldn’t have wished for a more understanding spouse. We always assume the world to be cruel and unfair. And we almost assume the worst, and after what we experienced, who can blame us? But whatever deity lives up there, they’re right about who they set us up with.’

‘Stop it. You’re making us sound soppy. I might just vomit if I hear any more love and sunshine shit’, Crowe moaned.

‘Then step back. I need to say something to her in private anyway.’

Crowe raised his eyebrows, daring her to command him around. She only raised her eyebrows in return, and he stepped back.

‘Cousin. If he could accept me, there is no reason to believe your soulmate might not accept you as well. Go and have fun tonight, and try to find him. All is not lost, I can scarcely believe it myself.’

‘I don’t know, Clara.’

Her thoughts slipped to the curly brown hair and bluish green eyes of the man she’d seen in the mirror last December.  But then they slipped to the tall man in black. She still didn’t know his identity.

‘Ah, there you are. I was starting to wonder where you… Oh, we were looking for you too!’ Charlotte and Georgiana walked into the hallway together.

‘We’re here. Everything’s fine’, Esther said quickly.

‘What’s fine?’ a deep voice asked behind her.

‘Everything’, Esther said in a haughty tone as she turned to face Sidney Parker.

Charlotte floated to the arm of her beloved.

‘Let’s return to the party. I want to dance’, she cooed. Sidney Parker tried and failed not to smile.

Ser Lancelot and the highwayman remained near the edge of the ballroom. She knew she should try out Lancelot to discover whether he was Lord Babington, but she found herself being asked to dance by Lord Babington again.

  ••••••••••

 ‘Why, you would think there’s not a single other maid in the room.’

‘Do you wish it?’

‘Fine.’

‘Gone cold again in an attempt to not be too agreeable?’

‘Why insist if you’re treated with so little civility?’

‘Perhaps it is the fascination of trying to keep up with your verbal sparring. All I know is the more I speak with you, the more drawn I am to you.’

Esther bit her lip. He was being way too forthright, but unfortunately, their earlier conversations had given him reason to speak earnestly.’

‘You’ve only known me for a couple of hours. First impressions are important but they’re rarely accurate. It’s all superficial.’

‘Was our conversation superficial? I don’t believe so.’

‘We were pretending to be a goddess and a thief throughout the entirety of our conversation. Besides, isn’t there a soulmate? You have to be over twenty-two.’

‘You yourself critiqued me when I made a joke about soulmates a couple of hours ago. And you critiqued me just now for admitting that I liked you based on a couple of hours of knowing you, yet you ask about my soulmate? Someone fate links me to, despite that I’ve never met her? If I would like her upon seeing her, nobody would consider it strange. Yet, to spend hours with you and then decide I like you, is somehow considered too soon?’

Esther found herself rendered speechless.

‘I shall ignore that you wish to avoid discussing your soulmate, and shall talk about mine, as I respect our mutual wish to live a life without pretence, and your wish that men lead by example’, he decided with a smile. ‘I have one, yes. And she has no wish of contacting me even though she knows my full name and address, while I only know her first name is Esther. I have no contact with her. I felt bad about it for a long time, but I believe that if she hasn’t looked for me in years, I’m allowed to choose a fake soulmate for one evening, don’t you agree?’

It was him. It was Lord Babington. All night, she’d been drawn towards her soulmate without knowing who he was, talking to him and laughing with him had been as easy as breathing.

‘You said that this night, you wished to be free to choose the identity of someone at the stroke of midnight, while ignoring real life soulmates. I do as well. It’s only for a night, after all.’

She shook her head, considering how ridiculous their interaction was now that she knew of his identity. ‘This is ridiculous.’

‘I’m serious.’

Oh, she’d said it out loud.

‘I wasn’t expecting this.’

She wasn’t expecting to be confronted with her own words, nor had she expected she would be drawn to her soulmate. She knew what would happen on midnight if she stayed with him. All masks fell off, and she would be face to face with her fate. Stripped of all pretence. She wanted him, the man in front of her. And she had loved every part of him, she enjoyed how his soul felt, she enjoyed how his face looked in the mirror on New Year’s Eve, and she enjoyed his openness, cheerfulness and jokes throughout the night.

But he didn’t know. And she wondered how he’d react.

The music changed, and their right hands slipped towards the other’s body, as their left hands formed a circle above them. It was a more intimate number.

‘I would hate to be a hypocrite. I too wanted to choose someone to discover the identity of at midnight. I believe I have now refrained from agreeing with you for a sufficient period of time. We’ve agreed on disliking pretence, let’s drop the last bit of pretence at midnight.’

Her heart was in her throat, and she could barely breathe.

His gaze was incredibly intense as they continued their dance, which existed of testing the space between them with hands which were a hair’s breath from touching. Every step closer was followed by two steps to create distance, and every time they reached for one another, was followed by a turn away.

Her arms were covered in goose bumps and her fingers ached to touch him.

She was dancing with her soulmate, and he had confessed to enjoying her. He enjoyed her when it was only she, he didn’t know of her poverty or position in society or Edward. Though all that would come very soon, at the stroke of midnight. But right now, she lived in a world in which he actually liked her, and she liked him. And in this short-lived world, a happy ending seemed almost within reach. She wished she could leave her name behind and be like this forever, her and him, stripped down to their personality, nothing more, nothing less.

A heat pooled in her belly. She was hot and cold all at once. Just two steps removed from fainting.

And just like that, the music stopped, and the countdown started.

She could only stare as he took off his hat, revealing lovely tousled brown curls.

‘It has been a lovely evening, goddess Rhiannon.’

Esther’s mouth was dry.

She could barely keep her hands from shaking.

Even her hearing was starting to shut down, the voices counting down seemed far removed, instead of near.

Her heart was now racing at an unprecedented speech.

‘One!’

She could dimly hear the people shouting and the music starting a joyful tune. The only thing her senses could focus on, was Lord Babington reaching for the back of his head, and removing the fabric covering half his face. He used it to swipe away the whiskers and goatee as well, though there were still grayish lines on his face.

Despite the dread running through her, she couldn’t help but smile.

‘What?’

She reached out, brushing over his upper lip and chin with her thumb to remove the makings on his face.

He didn’t move an inch. His tongue flew out to quickly wet his lips once she’d withdrawn her thumb. The air between them was buzzing.

Their eyes never left each other’s.

It was her turn to remove her mask.

Then the charade would end.

With shaking hands, she tried to remove her mask, but it was in vain. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, to focus on the feeling of the knotted satin sashes keeping her mask stuck to her face. She gasped for breath as her hands were covered by large warm ones.

‘Allow me.’

And within seconds, Esther’s dark brown eyes met those of Lord Babington.

She was even more beautiful than he’d imagined, despite that her mask hadn’t concealed that much.

He was still holding on to her mask, a fact he only became aware of when her delicate hands tried to take it from his.

‘I’m Lord Babington.’

As Esther opened her mouth, she could feel the air prickling her dry tongue. Only seconds now until the evening ended, and she would discover what the rest of her life would look like.

‘My name…’ Her voice gave up on the ‘a’, and she broke eye contact for a second before looking up. ‘Is Esther Denham.’

Lord Babington smiled at her.

‘Pleased to meet you.’

She frowned. She hadn’t expected him to act like this. She didn’t know what to expect, but it hadn’t been an easy smile.

Nor had she expected him to take her hand and press a kiss to it, as he was doing now.

He didn’t know her surname. He didn’t know.

‘And I’m your soulmate.’

His eyes shot up, but he remained there, bent over with his lips hovering above her palm. And in that instant, he saw how the façade had fallen as well as the mask. Insecurity, shame and sadness shone through her glassy eyes.

She had red hair like his soulmate.

She carried the name of his soulmate.

She hadn’t been intending on finding her soulmate tonight.

She’d shown deep and dark thoughts, but had shown a certain gentleness as well.

And she’d shown a humorous side as well.

It all matched.

‘I believe you are.’

They’d chosen each other, out of all people in this room.

He didn’t know how to navigate their interactions with this newly found knowledge. Just a couple of months ago, she had no wish for him. What were they to do, now that they had met and decided to like one another?

‘Now you know the truth. Now you know that I am the one who deliberately avoided you for five years. Now you know that this is the face of the woman who was kissing another man when you entered her body. Are you not disgusted? Are you not annoyed by my refusal to meet you?’

‘I don’t give a damn about your past, I never did. I always only wanted to know you. I wouldn’t have forced you to marry me if you were unwilling. I just wished to meet you, to discover the person I was matched with.’

‘I don’t wish to be your property. Or anyone’s. I don’t do well listening to men.’ She’d done enough of that, and had learned from her mistakes. She would never be as dependent on another man as she had been on Edward. She would never again rely on a man’s opinions, or allow him to decide for her.

‘Good, because I have no wish to own you.’

‘Why else would you want your soulmate?’

‘At first, I wanted you just because you were my soulmate. Then because I felt you, when you entered my body. I could feel your soul, and I admit I liked it. But then tonight I met you, and I was amazed by your spirit, your wit, your intellect, your humour, and now by your beauty. I can just imagine myself being in love with you. I only want to walk through life by your side.’

‘But, I’m poor. And I screwed up before.’

‘You said yourself that deciding on something for no one’s merit, like for the sake of society, is a horrible decision.’

‘Very well, then.’

‘You acc- you accept me?’

She bit her lip, to keep from reaching out to him.

‘I do.’

••••••••••

And if, after he asked her aunt, they disappeared in one of the dark corners she had checked before to exchange some real affection, no one had to know.

Who said a night could only be divine once a year?

•••••••••• 

FIN

•••••••••• 

For the 12 days of Sanditon challenge day 2, challenge hosted by @sanditoncreative​

You can also find this story on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21814399

#12 days of sanditon #sanditon #esther/babington #Charlotte/Sidney #Clara/Crowe #no beta we die like men as always

[asarahworld-writes]

Moments

Moments, when Anakin Skywalker felt the pull of the Dark Side.  And one when he felt the Light shine through.

**Pre-hologram meeting “on” Kashyyyk.**

AO3

“Is it possible to learn this power?”

“Not from a Jedi.”

Anakin looked up to the Chancellor, his mentor, his friend.  A non-Force-sensitive being who knew Sith legends.

“How?”

“How what?” Was it his imagination, or did the Chancellor’s tone sour when questioned?  Anakin was well-versed in reading the tone of a person’s voice – the effects of slavery on a person never healed, not when one’s survival had once depended on certain skills.

“How do you know a Sith legend?  None of the Jedi, not even Master Yoda, are versed in these matters.”

“Oh,” the Chancellor waved a hand, “you tend to pick up bits and pieces over the years. You see, Anakin, it’s not how I know the story that’s important, it’s the story itself that matters.  It was only through understanding the Dark Side of the Force that Darth Plagueis was able to learn, and more importantly, use that power to save others… those he loved.”

“And yet his apprentice still killed him.  Chancellor, excuse my bluntness, but why are you telling me this?” Obi-Wan had sensed something in the Chancellor, had warned the Council about it.  Anakin’s stomach turned.  His master was right.  The Chancellor was up to something.

“Because I thought it was something you needed to hear, young Skywalker.  There is more to the Force, and indeed, to life, than what the Jedi will tell you.”

Anakin was quiet, watching the ballet with feigned interest.  It was a strange relationship, the friendship between a Jedi and the Chancellor of the Republic.  Anakin knew there was some truth in Obi-Wan’s mistrust of the Nabooian politician that went beyond a general distaste of politics.

 ROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTS

 **Palpatine having just murdered Master Windu**

“What have I done?”  Anakin stumbled back, collapsing onto a stool, watching in disbelief as the Chancellor, the Sith Lord, rose from the ledge.

“You’re fulfilling your destiny, Anakin.”  The Chancellor advanced and Anakin bowed his head, trying to centre himself.  “Become my apprentice.  Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force.”

“No,” Anakin muttered, his resolve weakening as the Chancellor drew nearer.

“It can save her, as you failed to save your mother,” the Chancellor stopped mere feet away.  “Senator Amidala.”

“You can save Padmé?”  The words tumbled from Anakin’s mouth before he had the chance to think.  “I can’t live without her.”

“If we work together, I know we can discover the secret,” the Chancellor said. Anakin’s hand twitched as if to draw his lightsabre.  “Look at me, Anakin.  Would you really pull your weapon on an injured man?”  Anakin hesitated, then turned the laser sword on to the Chancellor’s throat.  “Come now, Anakin.”

“No.” The lightsabre was not still. “You may be injured, but I have no doubt that you’re still dangerous.  You will go before the Senate and revoke the emergency powers.  Then there will be a hearing.”

“On what charge?”  The Chancellor asked, his voice sickly.

“Corruption of the government.  Murder. And if the Senate does not convict you, the Council will.  Terribly flawed though they may be, the Jedi are still the keepers of peace in the galaxy.”

“Kill me, and your wife will die.  Oh, yes, Anakin.  I do know about your ‘secret’ marriage, on Naboo.  You went to the Lake Country, a beautiful spot no doubt.”

Anakin’s minded was nearly blinded by an onslaught of memories of Padmé.  “How do you know about Lake Country?  There was only myself, Padmé, and two droids present.”

“As I have already told you, Anakin, the Dark Side of the Force can lead to many open doors.  Join me.”

“You speak with great certainty with a lightsabre drawn on your throat,” Anakin’s voice was steady.

“Do it. Kill me and you will be forced to assume my place in the budding Empire.  Let me live, and you will be the second most powerful man in the galaxy.”

ROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTS

“I hate you!”

Obi-Wan Kenobi stared down at the smoldering man below.  “You’re my brother, Anakin.  I love you.”  Using the Force, Obi-Wan lifted Anakin from the molten rock.  “I love you, and I have failed you, and for that I am more sorry than you will ever know.”

“You took her from me!”

“Padmé? Anakin, she was terrified of you. There are limits to whom even the Chosen One can save!  She would rather die than have you like this!”

Obi-Wan’s phrasing drew Anakin from his rage.  “She’s alive?”  He rasped.

“Yes, of course, she’s alive,” Obi-Wan reached toward his brother.

“Help me,” Anakin rasped.  “Help me save Padmé’s life.  Senator Palpatine, he’s the Sith Lord.  He said,” he hesitated briefly, “he said that he could save her.”

“Anakin, I know that the Jedi, that I have failed you in the past.  I promise to do everything in my power to save Padmé.  She is a dear friend and,” Obi-Wan paused, clearly debating whether to continue, “and she’s told me the truth.”

The truth. Anakin didn’t know what the truth meant any more.

“The truth is that you and Padmé are in love and have been for nearly your whole lives,” Obi-Wan said gently.  “The truth is that you’re my brother and I have not supported you when you needed me. The truth is that Darth Sidious got into your head and manipulated you to suit his own needs.  The truth is that you are Anakin Skywalker, and you are a good person.”  Obi-Wan picked up Anakin’s fallen lightsabre and tucked it into his belt, before bending over his friend.  “The truth is that I hope we can save you, Anakin.”

ROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTSROTS

When Anakin awoke, he was naked.  His charred hand easily swept through the bacta, reaching desperately for his wife. Her name silently escaped his burned lips, air bubbles popping fiercely as they broke the tank’s surface.

Obi-Wan Kenobi lay a hand over the outside of the bacta tank.  When Anakin Skywalker had returned, so had Padmé’s life force. She had grown stronger as her due date neared, and she had cried with relief when her babies had been born alive and well.  Leia Amidala and Luke Skywalker were tiny and so quiet that Obi-Wan had been afraid if they didn’t lose Padmé and Anakin, they would lose the twins.

“Soon,” he quietly promised his brother.

Soon was relative.  Anakin’s burns were severe and no one quite understood how the true Sith Lord had manipulated Padmé’s life force to support him.  Padmé was on life support, improving every day, and Anakin spent more time in the bacta than out, healing his physical and emotional traumas. Obi-Wan spent his days and nights split into visiting each of the Skywalkers until, exhausted, he comm’ed for help.

It took two days for the Naberries to arrive from Naboo, five for the Larses to arrange passage and fly in from the Outer Rim.  Ruwee and Jobal immediately busied themselves with caring for the twins, being the only people in the facility who had experience with children. (They immersed themselves in their youngest grandchildren, with Sola and her children arriving later).

With six family members present, no Skywalker was ever uncared for.  Pooja and Ryoo Naberrie looked on in wonder as their grandfather rocked baby Leia to sleep.  Beru Lars learned to perfect heating a baby’s bottle and was the only one who could get Luke to stop fussing long enough to eat.  Obi-Wan Kenobi and Owen Lars took turns sitting up with Anakin, doing whatever they could to support their brother’s recovery, as Jobal and Sola Naberrie did with Padmé.

Eventually, Anakin Skywalker was released, emerging from the bacta tank a new man. His skin was badly scared, his hair patchy where it had been burned away, but he was healed enough that the med-droids released him.

“Padmé,” he gasped, his voice rough and scratchy from not having been used in so long.  He stepped forward and stopped, raising his robe from the floor to see the metal prosthetic leg.  Obi-Wan was at his side immediately.

“What do you remember?”

“The Chancellor…he’s the Sith Lord!”  Anakin said, the urgency in his voice only heightened by his concern for his wife.

“The Jedi have seen to his removal from office.  Anakin, what else do you remember?”  There was a sense of urgency underlying his friend and mentor’s calm.

“Padmé,” Anakin repeated.  “My dreams, they were like the ones about my mother,” his voice broke.  “And the baby.”

“The children are healthy.  Your families have been here, looking after them while you’ve been recovering.”

Children. He was a father.  He realized that Obi-Wan was still speaking.

“…didn’t know.  She named them.  Luke and Leia Naberrie-Skywalker.”  Anakin tried to lift his head, before realizing that of course they wouldn’t be waiting in the hospital room for him to wake up.  Obi-Wan must have sensed his thoughts, for he moved to the door.  A few minutes later, he re-entered the room with a woman he vaguely recognized as Padmé’s mother and a man he thought could have been Cliegg Lars’ son.  Anakin only had eyes for the blanket in Missus Naberrie’s arms.

“Anakin, this is Luke Naberrie-Skywalker,” Jobal said softly.  She brought his son closer, so close that Anakin could have reached out and touched him.  But he hesitated.  Luke was not the tiny newborn he had expected.  This baby was a few months old at the very least, with a mess of blonde hair on his head.  Jobal brought the blankets closer, and Anakin automatically took the baby.  His baby.  His son, little Luke Skywalker.  Something registered in his mind.

“Twins?”

His stepbrother entered the room, carrying another bundle of blankets.  “Leia Naberrie-Skywalker,” Owen laid the baby girl in Anakin’s free arm.  An arm that was made entirely of metal, much like his left hand.  That train of thought disappeared the moment that Leia’s large brown eyes looked into his own blue ones.

Tears were rolling down Anakin’s face when he finally looked away from his daughter. “Where is Padmé?”

“Recovering.  When you nearly died, so did she.  The two of you are linked, through the Force, Anakin.”  Obi-Wan rested his hand on Anakin’s shoulder.  “She is so strong.  Her doctor believes she will wake within the next few hours.”

“I need to see her.  I need to see Padmé,” Anakin stood, the twins still cradled in his arms.  Obi-Wan, already at his side, steadied him.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

There was an odd processional heading down the corridor, if anyone had paid any attention. A medical droid followed by a man clutching two tiny babies (a man unused to what were obviously new prosthetic limbs). Another slightly older man hanging on to the new father, physically supporting him.  His parents, and brother and sister.  (A family).

Anakin collapsed at his wife’s bedside.

“Padmé,” he murmured, laying his children on the bed beside their mother.

Obi-Wan watched with intrigue.  Against all odds, Padmé was beginning to stir.  The Force worked in mysterious ways, that much he knew, but to witness it in this way was completely new to him.

“Anakin?”  Though her voice was small and weak, there was no denying its power over the man kneeling at the woman’s side.

“Padmé.” Anakin’s head snapped up, his eyes feasting on the sight of his wife recovering.  Padmé’s hand moved, nearly imperceptibly, until it was resting on her husband’s head, buried in his hair.

“The twins?”  She breathed, feebly attempting to sit upright.  Her children were on either side of her and Anakin gently guided her hands so that they were touching them.

The Naberrie-Skywalker family was healing.  Together, as a family.  Anakin and Padmé.  Obi-Wan, and Ruwee and Jobal.  Owen and Beru.  Sola, Pooja, and Ryoo.  And perhaps the most important connection, Anakin and Padmé, and their children.

#sw fanfic #sw #anakin x padme #rots #rots au #sw au

[ragnarssons]

I’m sorry I’m new to the music side I haven’t really paid attention but you kind of made me open my eyes and so I was listening to all the music and was just wondering how you could tell which ones were made/written for dany. I’m sorry if that’s a stupid question I didn’t know how to word it.

Well it depends, do you mean this season or in general? About the “Stay Here for a Thousand Years” or all the tracks in general? So to be clear, on Game of Thrones, all of the “Houses” have a particular theme. The Lannister theme is reminiscent of the Rains of Castamere, it’s kinda their vibe. Cersei as Queen taking on her own had a new vibe added to that, and it was the piano theme that appeared on ep6x10 and came back several times through s7 and s8.  House Stark is representated by the cello, so cello heavy themes are House Stark and characters related to House Stark/storylines related to House Stark. House Stark Theme | which is reminiscent to The Last of the Starks which is their final piece. Where is added this idea of “epicness”, future, possibilities brought by these characters’ storylines: Sansa becoming Queen, Arya sailing away, Jon going North. It still has this cello vibe, core of House Stark and their theme, but it doesn’t have the same melancholy/sadness it used to have for a very long time when House Stark was to the ground, over and over again. (note, it’s also mixed with the Game of Thrones main title, mostly because it’s the final theme of the season and that’s where they closed the episode- it also kinda proves that the story was about House Stark - at least on the show - they opened the show, they’re closing it). We also have added to that one, Arya’s House of the Undying Theme, these bits of Arya’s theme when she was with the Faceless Men and she left - I don’t remember the name of that piece, but it’s played here. Jon Snow’s theme, is also heavily featured in the last track: this one. Sansa’s theme at its core is still really the one of her family: sad cello often played over her scenes, for a very long time. And then it morphed into this “joyfully melancholic cello” (I don’t know how to describe iiiiit) that plays also at some point - well during Sansa’s coronation. It first appeared during her “The Lone wolf Dies but the Pack Survives” scene with Arya on s7. Anyway, all that to say that the Starks have had a vibe that’s always been reminiscent in all the House Stark characters, and it’s come back and been mashed up together for their very last scenes. It really is really beautiful and it just shows how the characters have morphed, how their House is still what it was at its roots but how they’ve grown and what the legacy of these characters are. The theme starts with notes that are very reminiscent of Ned Stark, and evolves into something that is Arya, Sansa and Jon’s identity. Anyway, as for the rest we have the Lannisters, it’s really generally circling around the Rains of Castamere vibes, it’s always there. What is cool about the Lannisters is mostly Cersei: Cersei has a theme from s5 and going. But her theme is heavily related to the High Sparrow and the faith. It starts as this theme, mix of a Lannister theme and an organ. And it merges into this gorgeous theme for Cersei’s revenge: the organ comes back, but this time, to symbolize the Faith’s destruction rather than Cersei’s.As for Dany, well she was the only one of her House. So actually most if not all of the House Targaryen themes are hers. They’re all about her, tbh. Ramin Djawadi has composed a lot of pieces for Daenerys- like A LOT, I think she has nine soundtracks for s5 alone, for example. The first whispers of her theme are here, technically, on the first steps (literally) of Daenerys towards her destiny, when she meets Khal Drogo. The ironic thing, is that Dany’s theme also starts with some light cello. Not as “deep” as House Stark, but it’s still cello and it has its importance later on. Before that, she has no theme, it’s Viserys’ theme (kinda) that steps over her. The drums are only whispers at that point, and then it grows bigger and bigger as she gains power. This one, is the final version of her s1 theme- BEFORE her dragons are born. Now in the end of the video, we can hear a new version of her theme; the appearence of voices as she’s become something else, the Mother of Dragons. The one who brought magic back into the world! On s1 her theme grew as something like a Dothraki warrior theme, she’s become the Unburnt + Khal Drogo’s Khaleesi, something that is hers but not totally. So her theme has pieces of instruments that were used for the Dothraki related themes- especially the the Armenian duduk flutewhich is used to symbolize the Dothrakis in Ramin Djawadi’s music. Dany’s music grows bigger and bigger as she gains her roles and goes through victory after victory: as I said, by the end of 1x10 when the dragons are born, the “ah ah ahhhhhs” are appearing, because that’s how her theme merges. The “ah ah ahhhhs” are related to the dragons. To Daenerys, becoming more than the Khaleesi of a man, who is proving her strength on a “human level”. She’s something else, she’s more, she’s “the stuff of legends” that people will sing about. The final version of this theme, is at the end of s2 when the dragons finally breathe fire, at the House of the Undying. Name of the track? Well, Mother of Dragons, of course! Which is a perfect balance of “victorious Dany”/Mother of Dragons and Unburnt Dany. And Mother of Dragons really becomes the strong basis of ALL the Daenerys’ themes coming forward. At her core, Daenerys is the Mother of Dragons, the victorious, the Unburnt once again at the end of s2. S3 adds to that, as Daenerys becomes the Breaker of Chains. It’s this theme: and yet you notice it always has the same basis- the flute, the “ah ah ahhhhs”, everything that has made Dany and Dany’s theme so far. This is when she starts building her army, when she starts to conquer. Herself doesn’t know clearly WHY yet, at the beginning of ep3, Daenerys does get this army in order to have an army to sail to Westeros. Her journey on s3 is slowly becoming the Breaker of Chains and the “Mhysa” of the people- hence why s3 for Dany ends with the Mhysa theme. And even tho the basis of Daenerys’ theme, which are the instruments that we can hear in the background are the same, here, it’s really a sung music. It’s a whole music, that could be transcribed as in universe, people singing across the world, everything that Daenerys Targaryen has accomplished. She’s officially become the Mother of the People: Mhysa as they call her. And let’s remember that because it comes back to what I said about her s8′s theme. All that morphes into her usual theme, her “Dany theme”, with the Dohtraki vibes, the Mother of Dragons vibes and all. And here, her theme is Big! It’s Dany full force, Dany at her peak, Dany embracing an unexpected destiny that will lead her to greatness. The “ah ah ahhhhhs” are growing and growing, because it’s truly a moment where she reaches the top: she has three growing Dragons, an army, Ser Barristan, Ser Jorah, a close friend (Missandei), and she’s adored. And that’s where Breaker of Chains really appears, after s3, onto s4. Daenerys didn’t just free the Unsullied because she wanted an army, now she has a new quest, a new purpose, a new destiny. A new title to her long list: Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains. We start with the same flute, the same vibes, what has been Daenerys’ theme ever since the beginning of the show, it’s still here. And it’s morphing into a lament - basically Dany lamenting for the children she sees crucified before reaching Mereen - and it merges into more of a “justice”/revenge theme where she follows her path: we know which one, where she conquers the city and abolishes slavery. The “Dany notes” - like really, how to call them I can’t really transcribe them on a post like that - are still here, and they’re growing and growing. The Mhysa theme is also all merged into this one, truly is one of the best Dany themes. S4 is where Dany kinda “stops” for a while. She decides to stay in Mereen. So there is no real progression in her theme for a while. Her next theme is Forgive me, at the end of s4 (it’s featured on s5′s soundtrack but it appears on s4 first but it gets bigger on s5 after 5x08 when Daenerys really does banish Jorah again). It’s a tragic theme, where Dany kinda loses a lot of her “superb” because her Jorah betrayed her: Dany is really falling from grace at the end of s4. It’s also really the first time Jorah and Dany have a theme: a theme that will come back later on the show, on s5 “officially” and on s6 and merges back into something big because that’s where she accepts him again. At the very end of s4 for Dany, the Breaker of Chains theme comes back, but only the lament part: because in becoming a leader of the people, Daenerys had to choose to chain her dragons. The idea of breaking chains is becoming harder and harder for Daenerys. These are Dany’s biggest betrayals: she was the victim of one, with Jorah, and the second one where she betrays her children and tbh, basically, her Oath as their Mother and a Breaker of Chains. Dany’s next pivotal moment is A Dance of Dragons, so we have the Daenerys theme mixed with the Sons of the Harpy’s one. And it basically becomes a war theme. Daenerys’ war theme: Daenerys with what she has, her dragons who are loyal to her and will follow her as proved by Drogon on this very same episode, her army, everyone loyal to her. It’s also where the French horns appear on her themes: and that’s to symbolize the FORCE of her now full grown dragon(s). And they’ll be part of her theme going forward. And this theme will then also come back to Daenerys’ theme going forward. We still have the flute, the magical notes that are always related to Daenerys as a Mother of Dragons, especially since it’s the moment she sees Drogon again after a while. And then it merges into something more, once again: Daenerys embracing another one of her destinies. Daenerys becoming a dragon rider, and we’re back with the “ah ah ahhhhhhs”. Daenerys’ next big theme after that is Khaleesi. We finally have a theme called Khaleesi for her: and here it’s very reminiscent of Daenerys the Unburnt, Daenerys the Khaleesi that she was on s1. Daenerys freeing people from oppression once again, and the praises are coming back: this time tho, they’re chanted in Dothraki and not in Valyrian like in Mhysa. She becomes a Khaleesi in her own rights, she proves HER strength to all the Khalasar and they all bow to her: this theme has become more about her than about the Dothraki. Her next theme is Reign. And it has everything: it’s Khaleesi Dany, Queen Dany, Mother of Dragons Dany, Unbent Dany, Daenerys Targaryen. That is higher than her peak. She’s accomplished everything she has to accomplish in Mereen and Essos: she has eliminated her enemies, the threats to her “new order” and she’s come out of it, victorious. And Daenerys’ final Essos-y theme is Winds of Winter: again, a theme that is sung in Valyrian and is a CRAZY theme. It’s basically chanting Daenerys coming, the “hero” coming. It’s full of hope, and yet it’s still Daenerys’ theme, it’s what it has morphed into after everything she’s been through: drums, voices, horns, everything is here! Tbh to me that’s why 80% of Dany’s storyline in Westeros is disappointing, because this theme seemed so promising. To me it’s really GoT’s most epic theme ever. After s7, Daenerys became very stagnant. Daenerys’ theme on s7 starts with Dragonstone: it sounds like the accomplishment of Daenerys. She’s back home, she’s where she thinks she belongs, everything that is Daenerys is here, with a part of “accomplishment” and excitment that is added to the whole lot. Daenerys is home, and we have the flute coming back for that: Daenerys at her basis, the flute playing while she walks around the beaches at Dragonstone for the very first time, reminiscent of the baby she was when she was born here. And then we have the voices swelling again, reminding us of the woman she has become: when she sees the Red Doors, which are a big goal to book!Dany even tho it was never expressed from show!Dany. And then we have this amazing piece where she’s walking to her Destiny, and it stops when she reaches the Throne. The Unburnt, Queen, Khaleesi theme comes back. She’s, symbolically, steps away from her Throne, her final goal. Her lifelong dream. The spoils of War basically has Daenerys’ horns symbolic of her Dragons. It is kinda the stuff of nightmare in this soundtrack, but mostly when it’s seen from a Lannisters perspective. If I were to say “there was a foreshadowing of Mad!Queen Dany” I’d say it’s this piece of music, that did a better job to kinda “announce it” or make us fear for it, than the writing of the show ever did. It still has notes of victorious Dany, but this time, it’s over the ashes of things we know: the Lannisters theme and even tho we can freely hate Cersei, by this point of the story, she has detached herself from her usual “Lannisters theme” and became more of an “independant” person. So yeah, the Lannisters theme here is mostly about Jaime and hearing these two sounds clashing has something of a tragedy. She has a theme she shares with Jon: it’s called Truth and everyone knows which one it is, lol. It plays when they sleep together. The cello is back, proeminent in this theme: it’s a thing both Jon as a Stark and Dany from her original theme have in common. It has the three “magical notes” as I call these coming from Daenerys theme, and the “swelling” of Jon’s theme coming from his House Stark heritage. It’s basically the clashing, body and soul of Jon Snow and Daenerys- not really as representative of their Houses, but as people. Like Rhaegar and Lyanna. That’s why there isn’t “more notes” of House Stark and House Targaryen themes. It’s about Jon and Daenerys as people, not truly about their House or their name. This soundtrack has a variation in See You for What you Are which plays during their 7x06 scene and during their 7x04 scene in the cave. Now as for s8 since I can’t say I really comprehend Dany’s journey, it’s really hard to say. What I could see as a soundtrack really related to Dany on s8 is “The Bells” - and yes, it’s THAT far. It’s basically the music playing during Dany’s downfall. The pure lack of foreshadowing during all this time could be transcribed through that as well: we have no soundtrack, up until this point, kind of implying Daenerys going mad. Nothing telling us that Daenerys is “turning” from what we’ve seen of her so far, for 7 seasons. And again, it’s not totally about Daenerys for a very long time; it’s mostly a countdown with a music swelling and swelling for dramatic purpose. And then around the middle of the track you have this tragic, almost war cry, last “scream” of hope, that dies slowly as Daenerys “turns mad” and these three “magical notes” that were so symbolic of Daenerys so far, are dying and are becoming more and more distorted by the music swelling and swelling. That’s really symbolic of some kind of madness, of rage, of “power” taking over Daenerys and who she’s been so far: again, an amazing piece, far better than the writing of the season itself. And it merges into “the Last War” which is basically, the horror. And it’s basically everything Daenerys has been the symbolic of for so long, being turned “dark”, all her victories being reduced to something very very dark where there is no victory, no hope, the voices don’t swell. It’s really about how Daenerys’ force as a character becomes more destructive than liberative. And then when the voices rise and the music explodes, it’s all about horror more than anything heroic. The thread of Daenerys’ character is still here and everything turns to ashes: her goals, everything she’s stood for. We hear the French horns but they’re symbolic of destruction and despair here. We hear her Dothraki theme but it’s not strong in the sense of victory. It’s strong as in “stepping on everyone else”. The “ah ah ahhhhhs” are no longer going up, they’re going down. That’s basically Dany’s downfall. And apparently Ramin has chosen to turn Daenerys from Mhysa, Mother of Dragons, as “Master of War” because this theme is for her as well. Thank you, Ramin, for not calling it “the Mad Queen” or whatever bullshit. And this one is a very sad theme: we do hear all of Daenerys’ “core values” but all of it is twisted by the same “dark effect” we hear in the Last War. Following Dany’s downfall through the soundtrack is actually very sad. The same instruments are used, but not with the same “impact”, Daenerys’ essence is twisted. And what do we have at the end of it? A lament. A lament because Daenerys as we knew her and loved her, is dead here. She was dead before Jon stabbed her. And the lament sings the notes that were before, so representative of Dany the hero, Dany liberating people in the right way. Really, it’s heartbreaking. She touches the Throne, she’s THERE, she’s won, but she’s lost herself in doing so. And the music is not victorious, it’s not hateful, it’s not “evil”, it’s tragic. Ramin doesn’t want you to hate Daenerys with these themes, he wants you to mourn for her.In her final moments of love and trust - after everything - with Jon, it’s “Be with me” that plays, and we have some of Daenerys’ “light” coming back, swelling, before DYING. Really dying, because Jon kills her at that moment. The flute came back, symbolic of Daenerys’ long lost innocence, who she was when she started this journey on 1x01. Again, no hatred, no destruction, no “evil Queen”: Daenerys is a tragic hero, whose flame is killed, like that. The swelling comes back on The Iron Throne for Drogon’s grief, Drogon coming for his Mother, but the Mother of Dragons’ theme is tragic here too. Drogon has lost his Mother. Really, whatever shit D&D did to her, this soundtrack is an ode of love to Daenerys and it’s really beautiful- I think I said it 500 times already. The way Daenerys’ final piece explodes with sadness and tragedy. She’s not a monster, she was not “the enemy”, the world destroyed her (I would even say the world of MEN destroyed her) and that’s what Ramin Djawadi wants us to remember of her. In the additional pieces, we have “Stay for a Thousand Years” that is about Daenerys. Now yes, it has the “Truth” vibes, that could have us believe that it’s about Jon and Daenerys. BUT, the lyrics are the Mhysa’s song lyrics. It’s Valyrian, and everything Valyrian is 100% without a doubt, related to Daenerys. It’s about Daenerys. Daenerys is also the one voicing her desire to “Stay here for a Thousand Years” on the show, when they reach the cascades with Jon. This theme is about how Daenerys died for love, how tragic it ultimately is. It’s about how what could have been of Daenerys had they stayed there for a Thousand Years like Daenerys wanted at some point, when she was sky high, happy and in love with a man who wasn’t a threat to her. No, this song is not about Jon, it’s about an “ideal” of Daenerys that died when war came and duty came, and ultimately tore Daenerys down: she lost love, she lost faith, she lost her core duty as a savior and a hero. It’s really a mourning piece for Daenerys’ character as a whole, the woman she was before she fell from grace and became… whatever D&D wrote her to be in the end. And that’s totally my interpretation, but the fact that these lyrics, about Daenerys the savior, Daenerys the hero, being sung over a melody that is called TRUTH is a way for Ramin to say who Daenerys truly was. She was not “the evil Queen all along” like HBO and D&D and the actors are trying to have us believe right now. She was a hero for a very long time, and that’s how she should be remembered. All that to say that as you can hear through all of this, the Dany related themes all have the same… “back bone”, the same vibes, the same identity. And that’s how you can tell a certain theme is about a certain character.TLDR; probably a wayyyy too long answer to a question that probably didn’t require that much. But I love Ramin Djawadi’s music too much not to dive into it, especially when it’s about Daenerys so *shrugs* it’s a whole journey. Djawadi’s entire music dedicated to Daenerys is a journey. Each character had an identity in the music itself, and that’s what makes it so powerful. It’s not about the moments, it’s about the characters, and them morphing and changing and evolving. The music, as the story, follows them. Because ultimately, as I say that a lot of times, the story should be about the characters and not the other way around. What drives the story and everything around it, are the characters. It shouldn’t be shock value or plot twists, or the story over the characters. That’s what tanked GoT in the last two seasons (at least, if not more for some characters like Stannis or the Sand Snakes, for example) in my mind. How the characters became simpler and simpler (or extras, like Jon on s8) while the story tried to become what it wasn’t meant to be.

#long ass answer #answered #anonymous

[silver-wedding]

Children, Trauma, and Family

Jon and Dany’s child will be important to the overall political narrative, but one has to consider just how precious a baby would be for these two. The children Dany will give birth to may be considered Targaryens, but a royal dynasty would be secondary in their minds.

Jon always believed that he would have no children simply because he was a bastard. He outright refused to have sex because he never wanted such a stigma to be placed on his potential children.

Jon even denied that he ever wanted a family to Benjen, which is something his uncle saw through immediately. The reality was that he wanted to have a baby boy of his own, but never dared to dream of becoming a father.

Ygritte broke him out of this fragile delusion, and ignited the desire for a family he had hidden within himself. Jorah would later remind Jon that he could finally pursue this for himself.

Daenerys has never been subtle about her own desire to be a mother. The title “Mother of Dragons” has always hinted as much, which describes Dany’s motivations far more than any other nickname she has earned.

For as long as she could remember, Dany wanted to have a family that loved her. She was just a lonely girl with nothing but a name that caused her more harm than good, and a previously devoted brother that transformed into a monster.

With the loss of her unborn son and Drogo, every hope went into finding “home” without really knowing what she was looking for. Even when arriving at her ancestral seat of Dragonstone, Dany did not find the place of belonging she always longed for.

When Jon and Dany first met, they were two people who had lost all belief in ever finding true love again. They had placed all of their motivations into ambitious goals for the sake of others, rather than face their own deep seeded fears.

After all, who would ever dare to love a dragon?

Trauma and Duty

Both might have thought, “Will I ever find love again? Am I even worthy of that love? What if I lose them yet again?”

They could have told themselves, “I found the one I was meant to be with, but I couldn’t save them.. Why should I dwell on my lost love when my people need me? I am not even strong enough to protect the ones I love the most.”

Ever since Jon and Dany lost their lovers, they went down the path of obtaining power in order to find the resolve they needed to avoid such pain again. Jon did not want to be reminded that his only chance of truly living died with Ygritte. Daenerys did not want to remember that her only shot of a loving family was lost with her pregnancy, unborn son and husband.

If one cannot live for themselves, why not live for whomever is left?

For Jon, this meant preparing others as much as he could for the horrors beyond the Wall. Previously he was angry when denied the role of Ranger, but after his experiences only cared for increasing the chances of survival for the only family he knew was left.

Jon did not envision himself as Lord Commander at quite a young age, but he took on the role because enough of them believed him capable. This was his chance to shape the Night’s Watch into the force capable of protecting the realm like he initially believed them to be.

Dany’s marriage showed her that too many people suffered at the hands of the physically powerful and wealthy. When a crucified slave told her that he would rather die than accept the water she had offered, Dany decided right then and there to throw down the gauntlet against the atrocities of slavery.

If she could not have her family, then she would at least make sure as many people as possible would not share in the pains that she had experienced herself. To succeed in such a monumental task would mean having the strength to find her home in Westeros, and to become a ruler capable of protecting those she loved the most.

Family

For a long period of time, Jon had no idea if any of the Starks were still alive. Even if he could leave the Night’s Watch, he had no home or family to come back to. As far as he had known, Ygritte would have been the family that filled the void the Starks had left in his heart.

With her gone, he only had the Night’s Watch to hold onto, and tried to hold onto the Freefolk as well despite the immense hatred shared between both factions. 

After being betrayed by the men he called brothers, he could only feel the pain of losing yet another family despite fighting to bring them together.

As a result, Jon became completely devoted to stopping the Army of the Dead even if it killed him. His desire to live became secondary to the survival of Westeros itself.

Daenerys’ passion lit the flames of emotion that he had buried within himself. She had a drive quite unlike anyone he had ever met, and pulled at his own morals in ways he had not considered.

For Jon to shift towards opening himself up towards love and even courting Daenerys himself, shows just much he has truly fallen in love with her. Despite all the pain he felt in the past, Jon is willing to make himself feel vulnerable again by giving into his feelings.

In her early childhood, Dany had a brother in Viserys. He was good to her and taught her everything she knew about the Targaryens. Once he faded away into the abusive man we saw for ourselves, she had truly been alone. With the loss of Drogo and most of the Dothraki, home only seemed further and further away.

By using the confidence she gained while leading what remained of her people, Dany found a surrogate family for herself on the journey to end slavery in Essos. People that not only truly believed in her mission, but in Daenerys herself. Jorah, Barristan Selmy, Missandei, Grey Worm, Daario, and even Tyrion Lannister became the family she never had.

Despite the challenges and losses along the way, they managed to turn Slaver’s Bay into Dragon’s Bay, and bring about a change the world thought impossible.

However the people she had gathered together were seen as outcasts, former slaves, savages, and even traitors. Daenerys not only wanted to find a home for herself, but had to find one for the people that followed her.

By accepting one massive mission after another, she never had to look at her own personal vulnerabilities and needs. Dany never need dare think of love, or risk losing everything to ruthless enemies that would have no mercy for her new family.

Children, Revelations, and New Challenges

When she met Jon, Dany began to show her true face again as her emotional armor wore down the more she connected with him. This was a man who seemingly came out of nowhere to challenge her mind, spirit and heart all at once.

By the time of their reunion after Viserion’s death, shared trauma made them realize a powerful bond for one another. Dany could not bare the idea of Jon dying as she tried to rescue him, just as he could not bare seeing Dany in tears over her loss.

Of course with the idea of love reemerging within both of them will come the same insecurities and fears they held all along.

Jon will feel the need to protect Dany from anything that comes her way in battle. He might even make it a point to argue that she should stay away from the Great War entirely, with the discovery of her pregnancy.

Even when Daenerys is the only one capable of flying Drogon, the greatest asset in the army of the living.

Dany will have similar feelings. She will not want the father of her children to place himself on the front lines, despite his capability as a commander and experience in fighting White Walkers.

Before such fears and points of tension appear, I believe that Daenerys’ pregnancy will be one of the happiest moments in the series. Consider how often they have both been denied family throughout their entire lives, and the reaction to their love resulting in a child being born during one of the biggest turning points in Westeros’ history.

I can all but guarantee a lot of happy tears and kissing.

Daenerys believed she was incapable of getting pregnant, and that she would be the last Targaryen. To have such a tragedy turned on its head when she lived with this knowledge throughout her entire journey will be powerful.

Jon will finally be able to have the family he always longed for, and will not allow any barrier to stand between them. His courtship of Daenerys when he previously only thought of the Army of the Dead is proof enough of that.

However, there is one problem to all of this. Any child born between them would be considered a bastard, something Jon would never allow to happen. Given that Daenerys is a Queen she could legitimize her children, but the stigma would still exist.

So what is the solution?

Marriage.

This would in fact, be the solution to many of the problems that the couple could face in Season 8. So really, it’s more a matter of when it will happen than if it will happen.

When they were worlds apart, Jon and Dany somehow found one another despite the odds being massively against them.

With a second chance at love, I doubt these two will ever let go of one another.

#jonerys #game of thrones #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #jon x dany #dany x jon #silver wedding

[fevie168]

Saturday (June 9): “His mother kept all these things in her heart”

Scripture: Luke 2:41-52  (alternate reading: Mark 12:38-44)

41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom; 43 and when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the company they went a day's journey, and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintances; 45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions; 47 and all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 And when they saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously." 49 And he said to them, "How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" 50 And they did not understand the saying which he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and man.

Meditation: Do you know the pain and grief of losing someone close to you? Mary and Joseph must have felt anxious and helpless when the boy Jesus disappeared. Nonetheless they returned to Jerusalem with confident trust that God would guide them in their hour of trial.

Why did Jesus stay back in Jerusalem when his parents left for home? Just as the prophet Samuel heard the call of the Lord at a very young age, Jesus in his youth recognized that he has been given a call by his heavenly Father. His answer to his mother's anxious inquiry reveals his trusting faith and confident determination to pursue his heavenly Father's will. Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house? Our Heavenly Father calls each of us. With the call God gives grace - grace to say "yes" to his will and grace to persevere through obstacles and trials. Do you recognize God's call on your life and do you trust in his grace?

"Lord Jesus, in love you have called me to live for your praise and glory. May I always find joy in your presence and trust in your wise and loving plan for my life."

Psalm 103:1-5, 8-13

1 Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless his holy name! 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, 3 who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the Pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, 5 who satisfies you with good as long as you live so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. 8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger for ever. 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor requite us according to our iniquities. 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions

Daily Quote from the early church fathers: Mary dwelt in meditation on Jesus' words and actions, by Bede the Venerable, 672-735 A.D.

"Consider the most prudent woman Mary, mother of true Wisdom, as the pupil of her Son. For she learned from him, not as from a child or man but as from God. Yes, she dwelt in meditation on his words and actions. Nothing of what was said or done by him fell idly on her mind. As before, when she conceived the Word itself in her womb, so now does she hold within her his ways and words, cherishing them as it were in her heart. That which she now beholds in the present, she waits to have revealed with greater clarity in the future. This practice she followed as a rule and law through all her life."

(excerpt from EXPOSITION OF THE GOSPEL OF LUKE 2.51.20)

Friday (June 8): "They shall look on him whom they have pierced"

Scripture:  John 19:31-37  (alternate reading: Mark 12:35-37)

31 Since it was the day of Preparation, in order to prevent the bodies from remaining on the cross on the sabbath (for that sabbath was a high  day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that  they might be taken away. 32 So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with him; 33 but when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. 34 But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. 35 He who saw it has borne witness -- his testimony is true, and he knows that he tells the truth -- that you also may believe. 36 For these things took place that the scripture might be fulfilled, "Not a bone of him shall be broken." 37 And again another scripture says, "They shall look on him whom they have pierced."

Meditation: Do you know the heart of Jesus - a heart that was pierced for your sake and mine? Of all the Gospel accounts of Jesus' death, John mentions that the soldiers pierced his heart with a lance. This was a fulfillment of the prophecy of Zechariah 12:10: "when they look on him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for him." The heart of Jesus was pierced for our sake. He willingly went to the cross and laid down his life as the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Look upon the heart that was pierced for your sake and salvation If we want to understand the depth and breadth of God’s love for each of us, then look upon the heart that was pierced for you and for me. That is the reason Jesus went to the cross, to redeem us from slavery to sin and death.

True love does not count the cost, but gives everything for the beloved. God proved his love for us by sending us his beloved Son who withheld nothing from us but gave everything he had for our sake. Paul the Apostle tells us that "Jesus loved us and gave himself up for us - a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:2). God's love is perfect and complete because God is merciful, just, and forgiving.

The cross shows us the love of Christ broken and pierced for our sake Do you know the love and mercy of Christ for you? Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD) said that “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us to love.” In the cross of Christ we see the love of God broken and pierced for our sake. The Lord Jesus who died for our sake now reigns triumphant at the right hand of the Father. He has risen in glory and he now intercedes for us in heaven. He stands before the throne of heaven with his marks of victory - his pierced side, hands, and feet.

Who can fathom the love of God? For all eternity we will gaze upon him who was crucified and who rose - never to die again - for our sake. Only a broken and contrite heart can fathom the mercy of God revealed in Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus calls us to lay down our lives in sacrificial love for one another. Do you love as Jesus loves, with a broken heart that yearns for all to know the love and mercy of God?

“Lord Jesus, your love knows no bounds. Break my heart with the things that break your heart that I may love generously as you love.”

Psalm 34:19-22

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 20 He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. 21 Evil shall slay the wicked; and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Daily Quote from the early church fathers: God gave us what was most precious, by Isaac of Nineveh (a Syrian monk, teacher, and bishop), 613-700 A.D.

"The sum of all is God, the Lord of all, who from love of his creatures has delivered his Son to death on the cross. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son for it. Not that he was unable to save us in another way, but in this way it was possible to show us his abundant love abundantly, namely, by bringing us near to him by the death of his Son. If he had anything more dear to him, he would have given it to us, in order that by it our race might be his. And out of his great love he did not even choose to urge our freedom by compulsion, though he was able to do so. But his aim was that we should come near to him by the love of our mind. And our Lord obeyed his Father out of love for us." (excerpt from ASCETICAL HOMILY 74.28)

Thursday (June 7): "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength"

Scripture: Mark 12:28-34

28 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which commandment is the first of all?" 29 Jesus answered, "The first is, `Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one; 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' 31 The second is this, `You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." 32 And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher; you have truly said that he is one, and there is no other but he; 33 and to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." 34 And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And after that no one dared to ask him any question.

Meditation: What is the purpose of God's law or commandments? The Pharisees prided themselves in the knowledge of the law and their ritual requirements. They made it a life-time practice to study the 613 precepts of the Old Testament along with the numerous rabbinic commentaries. They tested Jesus to see if he correctly understood the law as they did. Jesus startled them with his profound simplicity and mastery of the law of God and its purpose.

Our love for God is a response to his exceeding grace and kindness towards us What does God require of us? Simply that we love as he loves! God is love and everything he does flows from his love for us. God loved us first and our love for him is a response to his exceeding grace and kindness towards us. The love of God comes first and the love of neighbor is firmly grounded in the love of God. The more we know of God's love and truth the more we love what he loves and reject what is hateful and contrary to his will.

Faith and hope strengthen our love for God What makes our love for God and his commands grow in us? Faith in God and hope in his promises strengthens us in the love of God. They are essential for a good relationship with God, for being united with him. The more we know of God the more we love him and the more we love him the greater we believe and hope in his promises. The Lord, through the gift of the Holy Spirit, gives us a new freedom to love as he loves. Do you allow anything to keep you from the love of God and the joy of serving others with a generous heart?  Paul the Apostle says: hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us (Romans 5:5). Do you know the love which conquers all?

"We love you, O our God; and we desire to love you more and more. Grant to us that we may love you as much as we desire, and as much as we ought. O dearest friend, who has so loved and saved us, the thought of whom is so sweet and always growing sweeter, come with Christ and dwell in our hearts; that you keep a watch over our lips, our steps, our deeds, and we shall not need to be anxious either for our souls or our bodies. Give us love, sweetest of all gifts, which knows no enemy. Give us in our hearts pure love, born of your love to us, that we may love others as you love us. O most loving Father of Jesus Christ, from whom flows all love, let our hearts, frozen in sin, cold to you and cold to others, be warmed by this divine fire. So help and bless us in your Son." (Prayer of Anselm, 1033-1109)

Psalm 25:4-4-5,8-10,14

4 Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. 5 Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation;  for you I wait all the day long. 8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. 9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. 10 All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. 14 The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.

Daily Quote from the early church fathers: Love God with one's whole self, by Gregory of Nyssa, 330-395 AD

"Human life consists in a threefold unity. We are taught similarly by the apostle in what he says to the Ephesians, praying for them that the complete grace of their 'body and soul and spirit' may be preserved at the coming of the Lord. We use the word 'body,' for the nutritive part, the word for the vital, 'soul,' and the word 'spirit' for the intellective dimension. In just this way the Lord instructs the writer of the Gospel that he should set before every commandment that love to God which is exercised with all the heart and soul and mind (Mark 12:30; Matthew 22:37; Luke 10:27). This single phrase embraces the human whole: the corporeal heart, the mind as the higher intellectual and mental nature, and the soul as their mediator." (excerpt from ON THE MAKING OF MAN 8.5.10)

Wednesday (June 6):"You  know neither the scriptures nor the power of God"

Scripture: Mark 12:18-27

18 And Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection; and they asked him a question, saying, 19 "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife, but leaves no child, the man must take the wife, and raise up  children for his brother.  20 There were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and when he died left no children; 21 and the second took her, and died, leaving no children; and the third likewise; 22 and the seven left no children. Last of all the woman also died.  23 In the resurrection whose wife will she be? For the seven had her as wife."  24 Jesus said to them, "Is not this why you are wrong, that you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God? 25 For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.  26 And as for the dead being raised, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God said to him, `I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? 27 He is not God of the dead, but of the living; you are quite wrong."

Meditation: How reliable is the belief that all will be raised from the dead? The Sadducees, who were a group of religious leaders from the upper classes in Jesus' time, did not believe in the bodily resurrection of the dead to eternal life. They could not conceive of heaven beyond what they could see with their naked eyes! Aren’t we often like them? We don't recognize spiritual realities because we try to make heaven into an earthly image we can touch and see. The Sadducees came to Jesus with a test question to make the resurrection look ridiculous. The Sadducees, unlike the Pharisees, did not believe in the existence of  immortal beings - whether humans, angels, or evil spirits. Their religion was literally grounded in an earthly image of heaven which ended in death.

Jesus offers proof to immortality - life without end Jesus responds to their argument by dealing with the fact of the resurrection and immortal life. Jesus shows that God is a living God of a living people. The Scriptures give proof of it. In Exodus 3:6, God calls himself the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. God was the friend of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob when they lived on the earth. That friendship with God could not cease with death. David in the Psalms also speaks of the reality of immortal life with God. In Psalm 73:23-24 we pray through the words of David: "I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory."

Through Christ's resurrection we, too, can rise again to eternal life with God The Holy Spirit reveals to us the eternal truths of God's unending love and the life he desires to share with us for all eternity. Paul the Apostle, quoting from the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 64:4; 65:17) states:“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him,” God has revealed to us through the Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:9-10). The promise of paradise - heavenly bliss and unending life with an all-loving God - is beyond human reckoning. We have only begun to taste the first-fruits! Do you believe the Scriptures and do you know the power of the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead and who gives us the assurance of everlasting life as well?

"May the Lord Jesus put his hands on our eyes also, for then we too shall begin to look not at what is seen but at what is not seen. May he open the eyes that are concerned not with the present but with what is yet to come, may he unseal the heart’s vision, that we may gaze on God in the Spirit, through the same Lord, Jesus Christ, whose glory and power will endure throughout the unending succession of ages." (Prayer of Origen, 185-254 AD)

Psalms 25:1-5,8-10

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

2 O my God, in you I trust; do not let me be put to shame; do not let my enemies exult over me.

3 Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame; let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

4 Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths.

5 Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.

8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.

9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.

10 All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his decrees.

Daily Quote from the early church fathers: No marriage in the resurrection, by Augustine of Hippo, 354-430 A.D.

"What did the Lord say to the Sadducees? He said, 'You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures or the power of God. For in the resurrection they marry neither husbands nor wives; for neither do they start dying again, but they will be equal to the angels of God' (Mark 12:24-25; Matthew 22:29-30). The power of God is great. Why do they not marry husbands or wives? They will not start dying again. When one generation departs, another is required to succeed it. There will not be such liability to decay in that place. The Lord passed through the usual stages of growth, from infancy to adult manhood, because he was bearing the substance of flesh that still was mortal. After he had risen again at the age at which he was buried, are we to imagine that he is growing old in heaven? He says, 'They will be equal to the angels of God.' He eliminated the assumption of the Jews and refuted the objection of the Sadducees, because the Jews did indeed believe the dead would rise again, but they had crude, fleshly ideas about the state of humanity after resurrection. He said, 'They will be equal to the angels of God.' ... It has already been stated that we are to rise again. We have heard from the Lord that we rise again to the life of the angels. In his own resurrection, he has shown us in what specific form we are to rise again." (excerpt from SERMON 362.18–19.30)