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euorian-pdf · 3 months

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PT1 "Cause you know we're the same, there's worse things I can take"

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆synopsis: Eren attacks you verbally when you and jean came to check up on him after he went no contact for a while.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆contains: modern au! everyone, toxic!eren, mean!eren, too-kind!reader, toxic friends.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆wc: 3.0K

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆tw: toxic everyone, connie wishes reader was dead. swearing. not proofread

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆ Part 2 over here and Part 3 over here

242.

that's how many items were discarded all over the floor, bed, on top of curtains, near the toilet, on the kitchen shelf.

You can't even begin to look at the kitchen, dishes look like they've been in there for a decade, mold growing on them as you observe the living conditions of your struggling friend.

"What the fuck" Jean exclaims as he enters the apartment behind you and immediately retches at the smell, blocking the foul scent of the room with his elbow before it seems to take a toll on him and he says,

"Nah, I can't do this shit, 'm sorry" and heads out of the door bolting from the stench. He shouts from outside the door that he'd stand outside and that "he's got it from here" You chuckle at that and head further into the apartment.

The smell is none of your concern as you look around for signs of Eren, afraid that any sort of negative emotion might cause him to lash out and feel bad about everything. Everyone goes through phases in their life and this right here, happened to be his extreme low. Locking himself away from everyone and everything, it seems that he no longer cared about his well being seeing the stature of his home.

So this must be the reason

You think to yourself as none of your phone calls have gone through ever since you went on a small school two-week trip. You'd inquire about this to Mikasa, who'd always relay the same message to you.

Everything’s fine

Which happens to be ironic due to the state of how Eren is, both physically and mentally. You finally catch sight of him lying in a fetal position in the bathroom of the apartment. He's shirtless, only with sweatpants that look as rugged as sweatpants could ever be. His hair seems longer, almost past shoulder length. He seems to be shaking?

You head over and crouch next to him, disregarding everything gross in your view, that didn't matter right now, he did. You slowly poke his arm to grab his attention and he mutters something under his breath. something incoherent. You try to ask him what he said but as if on cue, he replies.

"Please leave y/n. I don't want you to see me like this" Eren emphasises the word you which makes your heart warm a little, but little did you know..

You get where he's coming from but you pay it no mind and rub his back soothingly trying to comfort him as much as you can.

"In my eyes, in the end, you are just the Eren I know" You reply, sitting down next to him, now stroking his hair to get him to look up at you as his head was buried down in his knees in a way to block you out.

"c'mon, let's get you all better" you urge, gently pulling his arm to get off the floor avoiding words that address the situation currently, that can be set aside for later.

He harshly tugs his arm back and continues in the buckled position, it startles you a bit, he's never used force, not even indirectly. You once again shrug it off and crouch near him tucking away strands of his hair away from his face to see him clearly but he remains locked in the position, heads in his knees.

"Eren, trust me, I don't see you any differently than before, not now, not ever," you assure him, trying to clarify that as much as you can.

And with that, he starts laughing, maniacally. Chest heaving up and down with his laughs, you step back confused and honestly a bit scared, thoughts running with a million different theories that you may have said something wrong, or stepped on a mine in a minefield.

You shakily let out a whisper of his name, a silent question towards his weird sudden behaviour and he finally looks up from position. He looks indescribably tired, with dark circles almost permanent on his skin, and beautiful azure eyes dimmed to a dark greyish soulless colour and weirdly enough he's grown a little moustache. He wears a smile on his face, a crazy smile, almost as if he's about to unleash everything that's been tormenting him.

His laughter dies down into chuckles as he begins standing to face you at eye level. His eyes portray an emotion of disgust and hatred? no, no, that doesn't make any sense, you didn't do anything but help.

"The reason I don't want you to see me like this is because you don't deserve to. You're fucking pathetic, y/n" He begins and you already want to close your ears to block out the impending doom he's about to throw at you. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles a very dark smirk almost as if he's proud of what he's about to say.

"Eren, what's going on, this isn't funny" you relay to him, clear that you don't like whatever he's doing.

"No, but you know what is funny? the fact that you think you're this angel who comes to rescue us and give us a hand when everything goes wrong all in the name of 'friendship'" You're confused as fuck, not knowing what trigged this attack on you, you don't know where he's going with this and you're damn sure don't like it. He walks closer to you causing you to take a step back each time, not fond of the glint in his eyes.

"But in reality, you're just this pathetic stuck-up lowlife who seeks approval in everything that moves because poor little y/n didn't get attention from her pwecious father" He mocks never halting his steps as he walks and walks until you're backed against a wall. You can't believe the words you're hearing, did he do drugs?, because this seems nothing like him. Sure you could excuse the first two sentences but his words dig hard at you. It's almost as if he's purposefully trying to aim at your weak spots to get you hurt.

"Don’t tell me you actually thought we liked you, sweetheart?"

He continues laughing but more quietly this time, never stopping walking towards you and you swear you see the way his eyes glint changed at the drop of your tears that escaped your eye traveling down to your cheek from hatred to sorrow. You never meant to cry, and you never do, you always did it alone, and even in silent moments where it was just you and the wind, you couldn’t bring yourself to cry, scared of being vulnerable. But he hit so hard that you're unconsciously crying, as if your heart can't stand the words and wants to burst open from your chest and sob on the ground.

"Must be an idiot then, so fucking dense of you honestly. I thought you'd realize that we only kept you around because you’re tolerable." There's no stopping the tears, you've accepted that you can't stop them but you'll be damned if you don't speak up and put him in his place. The way he words his venom-laced attack makes everything even worse, as he makes it seem like you’re a pet and not an actual human being.

“Yeah, that’s right. Even that dumbass Connie doesn’t like you and that’s so fucking rich because he likes everyone!” Eren exclaims hands in the air as if he’s so bewildered that you never noticed this. Your expression morphs into a confused one because that’s obviously a lie. You and Connie are good friends, you are roommates, you sometimes help him out with his YouTube ideas and you share everything and Eren seems to acknowledge your disbelief and quickly grabs his phone from the rugged couch.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this one, for sure.” He says searching for something on his phone as he can’t wait to prove you wrong. He seems to have found it and placed it right in your face. Playing the recording audio from the date that says [00/00/0000], your birthday.

Man, I can’t fucking stand y/n, like I get that she has her own ideas but does she fucking think I’m gonna let her dictate my passion. What a bitch. Fuck dude, sometimes I wish she was dead, life would be less depressing. But noooo, I have to celebrate her stupid birthday and sacrifice my precious time for a bitch.

You start laughing, amazed at how everything was so blatantly obvious as you start to remember all the incidents you brushed away because you deemed ‘you were taking things too personally’ but your gut was right, no one likes you. And with this, it was clear, that you had no place, no belonging, in this particular friend group. All those times they acted mean and disguised it as playful joking and ‘this is how all friends treat each other, cheer up’. You were so fucking blind. You should be thanking Eren for opening your eyes to this truth not blaming him for hurting you. You idiot.

“Do you get it now, y/n?” He asks as you finally look up from the ground and into his eyes. His eyes have changed again, they look like they’re filled with lust? As if you were having an intimate moment and this was totally normal. As if everything was fine.

“Yeah, thanks,” you say, deciding to not show any more weakness in front of him. He doesn’t deserve your vulnerability, he doesn’t deserve to have your expectations of comfort, he’s not your friend…. anymore.

"Don’t thank me, you're such a fucking.." he scoffs as he waves his finger around as if looking for the word.

"You can stop now" is all you can mutter and even that comes across with a strained voice. This wasn't Eren. Or perhaps it is but you were too delusional and made up your own version of an actual human being.

"Doormat" he finishes.

And with that, you push him back and call for Jean, who happens to stand outside scrolling on his phone. Jean, startled by the sudden noise, runs inside, scared shitless by how hurt that scream sounded. It felt as if it came from a place of such deep agony and aching.

"Yeah, well guess what y/n? he’s no better, he feels the exact same way as we all do, will you also try to steal him too?" He smirks, hinting at something the both of you know about. He's suggesting that you'll steal him because Mikasa has a long-time crush on Jean. The look on Eren's face is pure evil as he watches the tears fall from your face and your face morphs into a 'how could you' and 'I would never' expression.

Jean examines the scene, sees you crying, and immediately thinks the worst.

"Did you fucking touch her, Jaeger?"

"He didn't" you manage, wiping the tears from your face, not wanting to create any more tension between the two men. "I'm fine, I'm just being dramatic"

"No, no. Tell him why you called him for" Eren instigates crossing his arms, making his muscles flex, and leaning against the couch.

You glare at him, hating the way he says your name, and smirks as if y’all are having small talk. You can’t describe how you’re feeling, you decide to push back everything you feel at this moment to the very back of your head. You need to hear him out first.

“Eren here says that you can’t stand me,” you say looking at Jean to see any change of expression in his eyes and you do. His eyes falter for a bit before switching back to normalcy.

“Is that true?” You continue finishing off your question.

Jean looks down almost as if he doesn’t know how to answer the question. As if there’s some sort of truth to what Eren said. You can’t believe this, this must be some sort of vivid sick nightmare filled with your greatest insecurities- being tolerable.

“Listen y/n. Everyone has their own opinions, right? Sure I didn’t like you back then when you were too clingy and you joined in every single conversation and made yourself belong in places you clearly didn’t.” He starts and you swear you begin hating yourself. You just came here early to help Eren out with his apartment problem and his mental issues, all you wanted was the best for him, for all of them. But now you just had to find out that they all hate you. Every single one of them, and it’s all your fault. What should you do? Beg for them to like you back? Get on your knees and sacrifice your dignity and self-respect if you ever had any? No, you decide, you’ve had enough.

“But now I see the beauty in that, I really came to like you, I like how caring you are, how kind and beautiful you are. How you treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are, how they look, their background, or their flaws. You accept everyone and try to love them within their cracks, you pick them apart gently and lovingly sew them back together. You truly are wonderful and I misjudged you.” Jean finishes and Eren scoffs in between his sentences giving him a nasty side eye before commenting. Eren hates how this dumbass makes himself see better in this situation when he's just bad, all he wants from you is your sexual appeal.

“She’s not gonna let you hit, horse face. So how about you stop the whole act” Eren growls at Jean's attempt of saving any ounce of relationship with you.

“Y/n, I swear I didn’t lie,” Jean says completely ignoring Eren’s comment and looking for any sign of forgiveness on your face. He realises the severity of the situation, and wants to tell you more to convince you that he'd never think that way.

You’ve had enough. You’re tired of not being loved, tired of waiting for people to see that you are special, that you deserve everything good in this world. That you are y/n and that if others can’t seem to love you, that’s on them, they missed out. You promise internally to yourself that you will NOT ever be just tolerable, and that if you ever make friends again, they’d have to know that upfront, and that you won’t settle for being treated as some sort of doormat. You are lovable, cherishable, and treasurable and just because some stupid friend group you were a part of for the entirety of your childhood doesn’t think so doesn’t change those facts. They don’t deserve you.

“You didn’t realize shit, Kirstein” you begin and Jean is taken aback by the use of his last name, no one uses his last name to address him. It feels like you’re trying to sever all ties with him as if you want to go back to when you were strangers and he hates that, he hates this feeling.

“All of you are fucking knuckleheads, and I don’t give a fuck whether or not you like me because I liked you!” You shout, anger flowing through your veins as you point at Eren and he looks unfazed.“ I liked you and that’s all that matters, I made the decision to ignore everything y’all did because I cherished you. And if that doesn’t show something to you about who I am, then my god, you are fucking blind” you continue wanting to get everything off your chest.

“Not one sane human being would ever tolerate this behavior from people they love, people they consider their beloved, people they cherish. Because love goes both ways. You treating me like shit, says that y’all ain’t worth my time. Not me ain’t worth yours. Y’all fucked up, and you did it big time.”

“It’s so funny how selfless I am, I came here early from my constant worry for the last month on a trip that I was looking forward to SO much only to immediately come back early to check up on your wellbeing and get this treatment”

“I want you to remember this clearly, Jaeger” you warn taking steps closer to him to point in his face as he rolls his eyes and leans against the wall, still unfazed.

“This will be the last time I take shit from anyone, not even from you. I held you so close to my heart, convinced myself that this was just how you were, plain mean, boring ol’ Jaeger. But fuck that shit and most importantly fuck y’all”

You observe the room around you, the only person who actually realizes the severity of the situation is Jean. He has his head down fidgeting with his phone which seems chipped from the side when you abruptly yelled his name before. Eren scoffs and rolls his eyes at everything you say, he looks straight at you in your eyes as if he’s in the right. You laugh quietly, amazed at how everything turned out. You walk towards the door of the apartment and take one last look behind you.

“It was nice loving all of you, at least I didn’t regret that” you admit before heading outside and taking your keys with you. No one follows behind you and you’re so glad you didn’t expect them to because that’s all people do nowadays, disappoint your expectations of them.

You feel this sense of relief and take a nice deep breath, you feel… free? You feel free of the restraints of trying to please everyone, free from constantly worrying about others, you’re set on a new path now, pleasing yourself, innuendo intended you think as you chuckle out loud.

You somehow can’t wait, everything seems set in plan. The reason you wanted to come back early was a mixture of worry but also excitement. You finally got accepted to your dream university which happens to be a continent away and you were so excited to tell Eren first while you got him all sorted out. You’ve already packed your bags and you’ve booked your ticket. You might have to make it more early though, as things didn’t turn out great. At first, you decided that you’d delay the flight at least for a month so that you could properly bid goodbye to your friends. But since you never had any, you can enjoy booking it earlier.

Is it wrong to feel happy at not telling them, nah, you think. They brought it upon themselves, now all that’s left to do is to stay at a hotel to avoid your roommate, Springer, and wait the final days in the hotel before leaving this city forever and live your life to the fullest.

notes: yeahh i think i went a lil overboard lmao, i might make this a series or maybe not. idk let me know what you think and we'll go from there. do ya'll want y/n living her best life?? thanks for reading til the end. i think the last minutes of instrumental of beabadoobee's 'perfect pair' really captures the last part of this well.

divider credits: @hitobaby

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nightfall-kachiniko · 10 months

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༅ ｡ₓ AOT girls (+hange) reacts to you crying during an argument…

paring: mikasa x reader, annie x reader, pieck x reader, hange x reader, sasha x reader.

˗ˏˋ꒰ ☁️ ꒱

𓏲·˚ ͙ mikasa

- you felt your heart bang with every word that came out of your wife’s mouth. her voice riddled with irritation at your lack of understanding, as you continued to go back and fourth. “I don’t like the idea of you out there for that long!” You shouted, desperately trying to explain. “You’re being dramatic,” she said, “it’s apart of my job, y/n. Theres nothing I can do about it!” It felt like you two had been saying the same thing over and over again. “6 months? Halfway across the world?! And you’re okay with that?!” You shouted angrily. “I have orders, y/n. I don’t have a choice.” She said sternly. “And there is nothing I can do or you can do to change that!” her aggressive words hit you in the heart as you felt your eyes start to water. the air was finally quiet for a few moments as you processed everything. ‘she has to. It’s her job. i need to understand that…’ you thought. But you just couldn’t. you just couldn’t stand the thought of mikasa being gone that long. the silence finally broke in the air as your voice choked up “I just don’t want you to leave me..!” your voice broke, as the tears you’d been holding in did aswell. You choked out sobs, deep, heavy, sobs, as your voice shattered sentences of incoherent. Mikasa froze for a moment, before her gaze went soft as it lied on you. her warm embrace laced hands around your figure as it held you tightly, her eyes filling with sadness. “Oh..don’t cry love..” she whispered as your cries continued, her arms wrapping lovingly around you. “I know darling, I know this is hard.” Mikasa said, as her hand raised your face from your palms to look you in the eyes. her fingers caressed tears off your face as she helped you calm down. “I promise you, I’ll never leave you.. no matter what distance lays between us.”

𓏲·˚ ͙ annie

“You never listen to me! Ever! I mean fuck y/n why do I even bother at this point?!” Annie shouted angrily, her tone filled with more rage than usual. It started off as a dumb couples fight to now a full on argument spurring out angered insults with mindless thinking. “Oh really? You’re one to talk! That’s all you ever do is blame everything on me!” You spat back. Annie’s figure swiftly turned around to face you, “you’re the one that starts shit y/n, not me.” she sternly said. “I put up with your shit every day for the past 5 years. 5 YEARS Y/N! I’ve had to mother you! I’ve had to care for you! IM BASICALLY A GODDAMN BABYSITTER!” Her screams rang in your ears as you closed your eyes, her aggressively packing her bags.“Seriously?” You mutter out, “I’ve sacrificed friendships, I’ve sacrificed LIVES for you! I’ve sacrificed everything just to be with a warrior! I’ve done so much for you!” you screamed back. Annie looked at you, her eyes as stern as ever. “ All you’ve ever done for me is cause me problems,” her voice was serious, her voice was real. i think that’s the part that hurt the most, the fact that her voice said what her mind wanted to. and she was being honest. The anger you once had in your eyes faded to a soft gaze as you felt your heart shatter. Your eyes filled with tears as you stayed silent, trying not to cry. “That’s all you ever do.” Annie sternly said, failing to realize your soft whimpers would soon break into sobs. as you felt your world crashing down on you as tears streamed down your cheeks, your palms held your face in your hands as you cried. Annie turned back around from stuffing a shirt in her suitcase, her eyes landing on you. she stayed silent as you cried, not knowing what to do. But what she did know, that she really fucked up. Annie glanced at your figure, feeling that out of regret and guilt arise in her stomach. She softly came towards you, her arms carefully wrapping around your body as you dug your head into her shoulder, sobbing. “I’m sorry..” she whispered into your hair. “I’m sorry..” she said a bit louder. But you could tell from the tone in her voice, that she was being honest.

𓏲·˚ ͙ pieck

“Please y/n, I’m not in the mood.” Your girlfriend said, tiredness on her face. “But you said you’d stay tonight..” you disappointedly breathed out. “I barley see you enough as it is. You can’t just stay a few hours?” the woman turned around swiftly to look at you, “I don’t know how many times I have to repeat myself. I said no y/n, what part of that do you not understand?!” Her aggressive response caught you off guard, your air feeling more heavy around you. “..you don’t have to yell at me pieck..” you softly muttered out before she cut you off. “Well sometimes you just don’t fucking listen!” She shouted aggressively, taking out her anger on you. “Pieck stop! I don’t want to fight with you!” You called back, trying to calm her down. “Then stop being so needy all the time and let me rest!” She replied. Her words made you feel like a burden as you felt your chest get tighter, confused and saddened as to what you did wrong. “..fine…” you sighed out, turning away to walk upstairs. You heard pieck mutter a “finally” under her breath as your vision became blurred, tears swelling up in your eyes. You turned back around in the doorway to look at pieck. “..I’m sorry If i did something wrong..” your voice wobbled out, catching her attention. Pieck starred at you, tears flowing down your face as you slightly hummed soft cries. She was token aback by your state, clearly now realizing how she acted towards you. “Oh.. dove..” pieck softly said, “no..no no sweetie” the messy haired woman came over to you, her eyes fixated on your own watery orbs. Guilt plastered on her face as she hugged you tightly, making you take in a deep breath to stop your sobs from getting worse. “Honey, I’m so sorry dear.. I don’t know what gotten into me lately.. I’ve just been so stressed.. I shouldn’t of token it out on you love… I’m so sorry sweetheart please don’t cry..” she said, drying your tears with tissues. “I..know you’ve been… stressed.. and I’m sorry I just miss you…” you managed to get out in between breaths. “Im sorry darling..”

𓏲·˚ ͙ hange

The one night that you rarely have with you and hange alone, cancelled all because of some stupid paperwork they could get to in the morning? “Seriously Han?! Do you know how long we’ve been planning this?” You hear hange sigh from their desk as they touch the bridge of their nose. “I’ve told you y/n I have too many things to do! Why do I have to keep repeating myself like a skipping record?!” Hange scolded at you. Apparently this date meant more to you then it did to her. Way more. To the point they’d rather do paperwork than go on it. “You can do that shit in the morning! This is the one night we finally can go out and you’re telling me no?!” You angrily shouted at her. “Fuck hange! I’ve barley seen you in weeks! I wake up and your not there! I go to sleep and your not there! Why is everything about your fucking work?! Why is it never about me?!” You shouted at them, their face filling with more irritation than before. “I’m not saying it again.” They said, picking back up their pen and scribbling down on their paperwork. “Really? You’re really gonna do this to me?” You said, trying to not flip out on them. Hange didn’t reply, but just ignore you. “Gonna ignore me like you always do, huh?” You scoffed. A rage burning up inside you as you ranted. “You know why the hell are you even in a relationship if you’re commander?! You leave me out in the fucking dust! You act like I’m not even there! Is all I am just a fuck to you when you’re too stressed to function?! Huh?! Is that paperwork more important than me-“ “YES! FUCK ANYTHING TO SHUT YOU UP!” they yelled, cutting you off. You felt your heart sink as they screamed, going on about how you never listen, always complain, how they’re always too busy and stressed. Too focused on their rant to notice the tears falling down your eyes and your small shaky breaths. “AND I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO DEAL WITH Y-“ they cutt themself as they saw your shattered figure, your eyes filled with tears as they kept streaming like a river down your face, dripping onto the floor. ‘At least now they were quiet, huh hange?’ they thought, realizing how badly they hurt you. You just started at the floor avoiding eye contact as they breathed out a sigh, fixing their glasses. “I..c-come here love.” They said, their hand gesturing for you to come closer as they walked towards you. Hange sighed as they felt you collapse into their arms, not knowing when the last time they held you like this was. She let you sob, rubbing circles onto your back as she occasionally pressed kisses into your hair, relaxing into you. “I know I haven’t been the best partner, y/n. I’m not a good partner at all. I’m sorry.”

𓏲·˚ ͙ sasha

“I am doneee!!! Donee!! No more arguing i cant hear you!!” Sasha plugged her ears as you continued to pour out everything that was in you. From the late nights out, to the not knowing where she was. It was too much. You’d never get a serious answer, all you’d get is your concerns blown off with a ‘ehh you’re dramatic babe’ it was like she took nothing seriously. Not your emotions. Not your concerns. Not even your relationship. “Sasha fucking stop!” You yelled. “I’m trying to talk to you about something that concerns me and all you do is plug your ears and ignore me!” You cry out. “Do you even care about us at all?!” You say, to be greeted with a nonchalant “oh wow and now you think I don’t care?” Sasha scoffed, hopping off the counter. “You’re frustrating me! Ive already told you I’m having fun I’m safe I’m fine I’m not cheating on you!” They blurted out. “Sash that is not even my concern! Maybe you’d know what it is if you’d actually listen!!” You yelled out. “Oh trust me, I listen.” She bit into her Apple. “I have to listen to your insecurities all the time. And I have to deal with ‘em. I’ve gotta put up with ‘em!” She remarked back, making you even more frustrated. “Then why don’t you do anything about it?! Why don’t you care?!” “Damn it y/n I do!” “Then shut up and listen!” She laughed at your remark, confusing you. “Gosh you really don’t quit do you?” Sasha chuckled, making your blood boil. You had enough, you were so filled with rage and hurt. You felt tears start spurring out your eyes as you yelled and cried and sobbed, catching Sasha off guard. “Y/n?” She looked around, lost. “Hey-uh..” Sasha just starred at you and your broken figure, sobbing and crying. “D-did I really make you that upset..?” She questioned, taking in the state you’re in. “Babe..” they came closer to you as you muttered a “go away..” in between sobs. “Hey no nooo babe.. ah gosh..” Sasha said, trying to comfort you. “Ah..please don’t cry pretty, I’m sorry darlin’..” she hugged you tightly, pressing your figure up agaisnt hers. “I’m gonna do better honey, I promise.”

a/n: I AM SO FUCKING TIRED

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levi501ackerman · 4 days

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MASTERLIST by Levi501ackerman

Levi x Reader

She Looks Just Like a Dream | Fluff

"One day the scouts find out Levi has a wife. Everyone wants to meet her."

Living In A Dream | Pining

"Levi refuses to date a subordinate so instead he pines over you. Kind of ridiculous how much he overthinks every interaction with you."

Object of Affection | Fluff

"Some may think Levi is whipped or your servant. But acts of service is how Levi shows his love."

Wish That I Could | Angst

"Levi missed his chance to date you. So he watches you from afar."

Allegiance | Part 1 Part 2

"You're a wealthy citizen from Stohess. When the survey corps are in the city, you can't help but fall for a cute captain."

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madeinparadis · 1 month

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SAFE | EREN JAEGER

pairing: eren jaeger × reader

cw: fluff and (mostly) angst, fear of loss/death, spoilers for the ending of the manga & anime ofc.

word count: 1.1k

masterlist: all characters

a/n: i was on the zaza (sleep deprived) while writing this, so the brief representation here of the paths is probably not the most accurate, especially given how the cabin scene in the anime & manga left some people confused. either way, hope you enjoy!

The birds chirped gleefully, flying over the roof of your cabin, their sound carrying the message that it was already morning– yet another day beginning and taking away your counted time with your lover, who lay serenely asleep beside you. You observed how the warm sunshine illuminated his face, casting a golden halo around his body that made him look angelic– it distracted you from the plans he would act out in the near future that were, in fact, the opposite of angelic. But pretending didn't hurt, and as long as you were here, you were safe.

You didn't understand the entire complexity and operation of the paths, but they were a very welcome escape for you. After all, if you were to live in reality on earth, Eren would be away from you, tormented and left alone to his own devices– instead, he built you both a home in the paths, which allowed you to run away from everything and just breathe, even if only momentarily.

As the sunlight passed between the curtains and hit his face directly, Eren slowly blinked his eyes open, looking at you.

“You should've slept some more. You seemed peaceful,” you asked, keeping a quiet tone.

“I was,” he replied, his gaze still melting into yours. “And if I got live like this by your side until my death, I'd live in peace.”

“Then don't go.”

“I don't want to go.”

“So stay.”

“You know I can't do that," he muttered. “I have to finish my plan.”

Your expression saddened as you listened to his words. You too knew he would have to leave you for his war, and you also knew you would be alone– all your comrades would go on with their lives, and you would be thinking back to the days when you lived in fear, but in love. It was a cruel reality, the one you lived in, and it was the price you paid for loving a man whose rage and determination made him a slave to freedom. You were, logically, more than aware of the fact that no matter how much Eren Jaeger loved you, he would never put a stop to his plan.

But you could always dream. Dream about a life where the titans never invaded your childhood home, or one where they didn't exist in the first place. In your dreamscape, you could both run off and get married, and Eren would build you a home even better than the one you had at the moment. You would live far away from the bustle in your hometown, somewhere in the countryside, where your days would be serene and quiet. Outside, you would gather the dry laundry with a big basket, watching your husband walk back home with a load of freshly chopped wood in his arms. Perhaps, inside your little cottage, you could find room for children of your own– a boy and a girl, much like Eren and Mikasa– they would each have different features from their parents, both in appearance and character. What would they be like? Would they be stubborn like their father, or curious like you? The possibilities were endless, and you cherished the thought of all of them. You could be a good mother, and you wanted nothing more than to be his wife someday. Maybe in another lifetime. In this one, all you could do was daydream as you mindlessly stared at the man lying next to you in bed.

You focused your eyes on Eren's hair, strands messy from the friction against your pillowcases. He looked serious today, and you moved your dominant hand up to softly card your fingers through his hair, continuing your observation of his features.

“I wish I could stop you from doing it,” you spoke up again.

“I know.” His gaze dropped down to your collarbones.

“It's unfair, you know. I should hate you for leaving me before we even got to live...” you stopped for a second, feeling a knot form in your throat. “But even if all of our friends are going to marry and build their own families while I visit your grave, I still can't hate you.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know,” you mutter. “I just wish things had worked out differently for us.”

“I do too. You know, when we were younger, I used to think that I would kill every titan, and then we would run away together afterwards.”

Eren's eyes met your own again, and you could sense an odd feeling of nostalgia linger in the air.

“We were so naïve back then.” You smiled, remembering your past days.

“At least now I can save all of you guys.”

You stayed in silence for a moment.

“But no one can save you.” Your hand slid down from his scalp to caress his cheek.

“You've already saved me,” he contested, placing his hand on top of yours, over his face.

“Not from death.” You felt tears well up in your eyes, threatening to fall.

“You can't stop me from dying.” He squeezed your hand slightly. “But you have stopped me from feeling like a dead man many times before.”

You reached your limit of stoicism, and what was a threat became a reality– Your eyes turned glossy and red as tears spilled out of them and fell on Eren's thumb, which brushed under your eyes and gathered your waterworks tenderly.

“What am I going to do without you?”

“Live your life freely.”

“I don't want freedom, I want you,” you choked out between sobs.

“You'll have me for as long as we're here.”

You curled up against him, letting him run his hands through your hair while your tears dried up. Despite it all, you were still with Eren, and he wasn't going to leave you just yet– so you enjoyed his presence while it lasted, listening to his heartbeat and engraving its sound and rhythm into your brain, in hopes that you would never forget it.

The two of you basked in the morning sunlight, and lay in bed curled up together until seconds turned into minutes, and you ended up losing track of time. Not very long after your tears dried, however, you tugged at Eren's shirt, gently guiding his face until his lips collided with yours, crashing like waves in a low tide– slow but impactful. Backing out to breathe, you let your fingertips ghost over his cheekbones, drinking in the sight before you like a relic, praying that all the memories you stored would stay with you for eternity.

Eren was right. You couldn't save him, and he could not stay with you forever. But as long as you were here, in your little cabin, he would be yours, and the two of you could be happy– away from the real world and the harsh truths that awaited you. It didn't hurt to play pretend. For now, you were safe.

#madeinparadis #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren x you #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #aot oneshots #snk x reader #mikasa ackerman #aot #snk #angst

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yunjitsu · 6 months

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Was she buried under the tree alongside the love of her life? Please. 😭 💔

I remember this scene being shown in the manga, but she was amongst the white roses. Glad they decided to change it like that. 💔

#attack on titan mikasa #mikasa #eren x mikasa #eremika #mikasa ackerman #shingeki no kyoujin #snk #snk final season #shingeki #shingeki no kyojin #thank you isayama #attack on titan #attack on titan the final season #aot #aot analysis #aot anime #aot angst #under the tree

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fqiryspit · 2 years

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pornstar eren headcanons.

cw: angst.

he loves you so much. it hurts him so fucking much to go out and fuck other girls..he's cheating that's all he thinks while his cock is in another girls pussy. sucking him up, cumming all over him with a camera to show all the good stuff. but it's his job. it's how he lives. it's how he can manage to support you too.

he comes home guilty, and tired. showers the dirtiness that really never leaves and then goes and lays in bed with you.

he knows it hurts you. you hide it very well, but it comes out in sighs when he's too tired to pleasure you. it comes out in whimpers he can hear coming from you under the sheets, pretending to be asleep. but you still smile at him and kiss him good morning.

you're perfect. beautiful, smart, loving, everything he could ever want. so why are you with him? you're obviously not okay with what he's doing, hell, he's not okay with what he's doing. but you still stay around.

...

today eren had sex with another woman. a camera pointing at his cock sliding in and out of her pussy..but..fuck she was beautiful, i mean- all the girls he's with are pretty but dammit shes gorgeous, ethereal even. probably, no, the most beautiful girl he's ever see-...what? what the fuck did he just say? no fucking way. you're the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes on, you're the most loving, caring, amazing girl he's ever been with..

so why is he enjoying this? why isn't he faking moans? why is he messing up his lines to say different ones he usually says to you?

why..why was he having sex with this woman?

her hair was cut into a pixie. black. grey eyes he was making roll into her skull. pink lips with a pink clit and moans like it's all she can do.

erens cheating.

she gave him her number, lips twisting as she confesses that all those moans were real, confessed she thought he was gorgeous. he gave the note to his manager, letting him know he wanted to work with her again and went home. went home to see you.

he walked in and immediately got hit with the smell of dinner and your arms around him, lips on his that he reached for comfort but now was wondering if you could taste the cherry of the girls chapstick.

...

he loved you so much. it hurts him so fucking much that he is slowly fading from you, slowly pushing himself away as fans gawk and love the duo of Eren and Mikasa! making more and more pornos of them come out. I'm cheating. that's all he knows as his cock is in mikasas pussy. sucking him up, cumming all over him without a camera to show all the good stuff but fucking trust him, his eyes is all he needs.

he knows you're catching on. he can only hope that you find out soon, slap him, cry and scream at him because it's what he deserves. he knows it. he aches for it. but not as much as he aches for mikasa.

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arminsfavoritepookie · 10 months

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HOW AOT CHARACTERS KISS YOU

Featuring; Eren, Mikasa, Armin

(- Fluff & Angst )

Armin's lips meet yours and gentle caress always engulfs your senses. You can't help but get lost in the tangles of his golden strands as they tickle your fingers. You move closer, your other hand softly cupping the soft rosey flesh of his cheek. A soft whimper escapes his lips, but he is desperately trying to hold himself together. This kiss belongs to you, and Armin understands that. You take from him whatever you want.

Armin's trembling hands rest on his lap, barely able to control the fiery desire raging inside him. The mere thought of losing you, the one person he loves so dearly, terrifies him to the core. It's why he's so desperate, so eager, when your thighs brush against his, as if begging for him to give himself entirely. You watch in awe as your delicate fingers move with calculated precision, unbuttoning each button of his shirt slowly.

Every soft noise escaping his mouth causes a stir of excitement within you, knowing how much he's aching for you. Armin loves you so intensely, with every part of his being, that the way he kisses you is nothing less than pure devotion. His lips are gentle, yet they convey a ferocity of emotion that takes your breath away. They dance against yours, gliding across the soft, smooth skin of your lips. Every detail is magnified: the way his mouth tastes, the subtle way his tongue plays against yours, the way his lips form a perfect seal against yours. The feel of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, and the beating of his heart are all encompassing, fueling your passion with every passing second.

Amidst all the losses he's endured, from losing his friends and comrades to losing his innocence, the last thing he can bear is losing you.

"Never let me go," Armin whispered softly, his eyes searching yours for some reassurance that you were both thinking the same thing. "Never," you replied, pressing your lips firmly against his once again.

Eren's intense love for you is almost suffocating at times. He's never quite comfortable unless he's right beside you, touching you in some way, and if he can't be, he's on edge, fidgeting and muttering under his breath. He'll glance your way with a flushed face and a quickening heart rate, desperate for your attention and affection. The tips of his ears always burn bright red when you catch him staring at you, which only happens about every other minute.

And when he finally gives in to his hunger and kisses you, it's not elegant or polished. It's needy, it's messy, and it's full of fervor. Eren will seize your lips as if he can't get enough, biting, nibbling, and sucking as if his very existence depended on it. The only thing he wants in that moment is you, all of you. Eren's devotion to you is a flame that burns bright and unrelenting.

As he clutches you to his chest, he lets out soft whimpers and moans, completely lost in the ecstasy of the moment. You feel his forehead pressing against yours, his tears slipping through closed eyelids, as if he's mourning the fact that this can't last forever. "I'm sorry," he whispers, barely able to choke out the words through his emotions. You can hear the pain in his voice, and it breaks your heart. "For what?" you ask softly, searching his eyes for an answer.

But he can't bring himself to say it, not with the way you're looking at him with those eyes. So he shakes his head instead, a silent admission that he'll always love you, even if one day he’s not there anymore to say it.

Mikasa's longing for your kisses is intense, a desperate need that surpasses that of food and water. It's as though the very essence of her being yearns for the taste of your lips and the warmth of your embrace. Without your affection, she feels like a shell of herself - hungry, thirsty, and lost. She's a warrior on the battlefield, fierce and unstoppable. But when it comes to matters of the heart, Mikasa is bashful and unsure.

Her cheeks flush with embarrassment when she’s pushing her tongue into your mouth, of feeling your hands roam over her uniform. And yet, the desire she feels for you outweighs her shyness.

Mikasa frequently ponders if you are aware of just how much she adores you—how your presence holds an immeasurable significance in her life, yet her thoughts are consistently interrupted by the sensation of her fingers delicately gliding across the tender skin of your neck.

She whispers your name, barely audible over the cacophony of your whimpers. Her plea is soft but urgent. Your arms wrap around her, holding her close as your tongues dance together. The taste of her mouth is sweet, addictive, and you can't get enough of her. She's yours, body and soul, and you know in that moment that nothing will ever tear you apart "Please," she begs, "Kiss me again and make everything okay."

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0hmyg0th · 22 days

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#𝐌𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝟑 ★ ╰┈➤ ❝we were children thrust into war and once it ends, what will we become ?❞

here, you will find everything that's aot . . . leave requests in my inbox :)

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none rn, please be patient

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aureatchi · 1 year

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LA LEÇON PARTICULIÈRE x DANGEROUSLY YOURS. (ft. eren yeager)

warning: aot manga spoilers!

when he says “i love you” but eren yeager told mikasa ackerman that he would wrap the scarf he gave to her the first time they met "around you again… as many times as you want. now and forever. that's a promise!"

...and breaking down on the ground to armin, he tells him: "i want her to think of me and no one else for the rest of my life! even after i die...i want to be at the front of her mind for awhile! ten years at least!" then, despite his deep emotions, tells armin "...please don't repeat that to mikasa," and continues to push her away until his end.

"tell her the truth? so that- so that she will watch the stars through tears? instead of following the… one cold star that is her destiny? "no… no, thing. i cannot. let her think…i never loved her.”

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qyxzun · 1 year

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Final moments I couldn’t say ‘goodbye,’

angsty oneshot. | AOT x reader

WARNING: contains AOT SEASON 4 p.3 spoilers, major character death

AS YOUR TEAM APPROACHED Odiha by boat, you could feel the soft wind brush through your hair. The quiet ride to the city was comforting but it kept you from thinking about Eren’s plan. The rumbling, freedom, Ymir’s subjects, all of them. As someone as his childhood friend, you couldn’t help but shed a few tears of regret. Regret that you failed as his companion. Just when the tears were about to fall down to your cheeks, your captain, Levi Ackerman, came to see you with your arms resting on the railing of the ship.

You wiped away your tears before he could see them. It would be humiliating if Levi were to see you in such a sorrow mood. The injured man approached you before he placed his hand on top of the ship’s railing. The two of you sat in silence before he spoke.

“Sad that you can’t spend the rest of his remaining years with him?” Levi asked in a soft tone. You couldn’t help but feel special about it since you were the only one he spoke nicely to. You nodded in response before explaining yourself.

“I can’t help but feel... guilty. I know you must’ve heard others blame themselves about Eren repeatedly so.. I shouldn’t bore you with my story,” you spoke as you faced Levi’s injured self. Deep down, he could see the pain Eren inflicted on you yet, even when you agreed to stop Eren’s plan, you still miss him. It was reasonable but Levi wished he could help you with your problems if ever they managed to stop the rumbling.

Levi could see the two of you together, retired veterans growing old together in a small but comfortable place after stopping the rumbling. The two of you would talk about the scout’s memories and maybe a few funny moments of Eren and Jean fighting. He secretly smiled at the thought. He would do anything to spend the rest of his years with you.

After the two of you continued to stare at the ocean’s clear view, the ship came into a halt. The team and the Azumabito had finally arrived to Odiha. What was once a populated Marleyan city, became an empty space waiting to be crushed.

Without wasting any more time, Jean and the rest got to work on the flying boat with the Azumabito engineers. You helped them take off the large string of explosives and set them to the side while from time to time, you would check on Levi to see if he was doing well. You would give him his favorite cup of drink; tea and sometimes help him walk.

It was early in the morning when everyone finished setting up the flying boat. With Hange and Levi beside you, you wondered about the scout regiment’s dead comrades. If you were just lucky all this time to survive the titans then you wanted to pass down your luck to your two comrades beside you. They were much more worth it and they would need it anyway. As you gazed at the flying boat, you asked the two a question.

“Say, Levi and Hange, do you think that our dead comrades are watching us? Would they be proud of our efforts?” you asked, your eyes tired from crying last night. Hange and Levi looked back at you, Zoe placed their hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

“I’m sure they are,” Hange spoke before you turned your head to face them and smiled. Levi didn’t know what to say so he just nodded in agreement. But it was true that their comrades would be cheering on for all of you.

All of a sudden, a wet figure approached the place quietly. With the last of his bullets, Floch shot his gun recklessly to stop the scout regiment’s plan. Faster than thunder, Mikasa shot her ODM gear’s wire into Floch’s chest, killing him in the process.

His bullets caused holes to pierce the flying boat’s fuel tank. As the Azumabito engineers rushed to fix the mess, you could feel the ground start to rumble. With horror, you looked outside to see huge cloud-like gas on top of the mountain. The rumbling was fast approaching.

The team left to check the rumbling before looks of horror came onto their faces. With pounding hearts, Mikasa asked Armin for any ideas to slow down the rumbling.

“I’ll stay and slow it down..” Armin suggested yet Reiner disagreed. Their bickering went back and forth while your head stared down onto the shaking ground. Facing Eren at his titan form now would most likely to cause you to breakdown and sob uncontrollably. You couldn’t bare to see one of your comrades die again in front of you while you stayed with the remaining few just to be a distraction.

You checked your ODM gear to see if there was any gas left. There wasn’t much but it would be definitely enough to kill numerous colossal titans. You held the thunder spears tightly before finally speaking.

“I’ll distract them for you guys, get the flying boat ready,” you said with determination. Levi and the rest widened their eyes in fear. Without even wasting a second, they disagreed with what you said and told you it was best to fight along side them.

“I’ve survived through luck this whole entire time, I think it would be best to pass on my luck to all of you to defeat Eren. I’m also a bit to blame for the rumbling... that was completely my fault, I’ll make it up to you guys by distracting them.” you explained, never backing down to your word. Your friends’ eyes grew wide in fear for you. With a small chuckle, you reassured them.

“Don’t worry guys! I’ll be fine, who knows? maybe I’ll survive and join Annie later, or I can see you at the other side...” As sad as it might sound, tears didn’t drop down your face. With nothing left to say, you approached Levi, his eyes staring down to the floor not ready to face you.

“Y/N, don’t force yourself, I’ll distract them for you...” Levi gripped onto your wrist before he looked at you to see your soft smile. It was telling him to stop forcing himself from saving you again like always.

“Levi.. it’s okay, really. But before I die, will you please promise me one thing?” you asked before the injured Ackerman continued to listen.

“Live for me... alright?” you spoke with a small smile. It was at that time where Levi realized you were being serious about this. But what about his plans with you in the future? Would you really just sacrifice yourself over something so small? An unfamiliar liquid came rushing down his eyes. It has been years since Levi felt anguish, it felt so painful. Even though he experienced it before countless times, you were the first one to make him feel something much more sorrowful.

“I’ll get going now. So long, Levi…” with one last hug, Levi wrapped his arms around you while he hoped you could change your mind. After a few seconds, you let go of him and smiled brightly to your team and him, wishing them all good luck

You fired the strings of ODM gear as it dragged you to the direction. Faster than lightning, you fired the thunder spears at the colossal titans. They fell all the way down the mountain like blocks. You slashed and killed the countless titans as their blood stained your coat. But it came to the point that it was burning from the heat.

Levi couldn’t stand the sight of you killing those ugly titans while you were obviously in danger because of the fire. Without a second thought, he shot his wires to help you. His comrades begged him not to follow you but even when Levi wishes to, he realized that there was no gas inside his ODM gear. In confusion and shock, he realized this was your doing. You were aware that he would be so reckless like helping you distract the colossal titans while injured.

Levi couldn’t do anything but curse while tears slipped down his eyes. If it weren’t for Hange pulling him inside the flying boat, he would’ve stayed. The crew climbed up in the boat before they leaned their heads onto the glass window to watch you mercilessly slaughter them. Your screams of pain and agony were so loud to go unnoticed by Levi.

You couldn’t do anything anymore, your coat was completely burnt and it was burning your skin. One of your blade was already broken in half. You used the remaining gas to boost yourself to another colossal titan before your body exploded. The flames and explosion completely killed you and three other titans since you brought other explosives.

Cries of despair were all what was heard in the flying boat. Armin’s tears stained the floor while Jean and Connie watched how you died. Hange was punching the seat’s cushions and Mikasa cried. Levi’s heart fell heavy but it only became much worse when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden ring. It was the one he bought after the two became close.

Even when Levi did continue living his life as a retired veteran, he regrets not sharing it with you. As he gripped the golden ring, wrapped with a string on his neck, Levi wishes you could see him alive and well, as you promised.

Y/N’s last words: “I’ll get going now. So long, Levi…”

__________________

author’s note: I fr cried a whole bucket of tears when hange died 😭😭💔 live laugh love hange all the way <3

I know it’s a bit short, i’m sorry 💔💔🥹

#aot fanfiction #aot x y/n #levi aot #aot angst #commander hange #armin aot #mikasa x y/n #fanfic #death mention #aot x you #aot x reader #aot anime #character death

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butteerfly · 1 year

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taylor swift’s sad songs but it’s attack on titan.

just something that I have going around in my mind, hope you like, quite angst.

the lyrics belong to taylor 🫶

levi-eren-reiner-ymir-mikasa-bertolt-erwin

Levi Ackerman: "Peace"

"I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near, and it's just around the corner, darling, 'Cause it lives in me"

"All these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret"

"Your integrity makes me seem small"

"Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other"

"I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm"

"But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me"

"Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"

Eren Jeager: "my tears ricochet"

" I loved you, I swear I loved you, 'till my diying day"

"And you're the hero flying around, saving face"

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace"

"if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, whishing i stayed"

"when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave"

"And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere i want just not home"

"You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same"

Reiner Braun: "Hoax"

"My sleepless night, my win-less fight, this has frozen my ground"

"Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in"

"You know I left a part of me back in New York, you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for? you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart"

"My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum, you have beaten my heart"

Ymir: "Sad Beautiful Tragic"

"Long handwritten note deep in your pocket"

"Words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late"

"In dreams i meet you in warm conversation, we both wake, in lonely beds, in different cities"

"you've got your demons and darlin' they all look like me"

"Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back"

"We had a beautiful magic love there, what a sad beautiful tragic love affair"

Mikasa Ackerman: "This is me trying"

"I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting"

"I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that"

"Could've followed my fears all the way down and maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway"

"They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential"

"I ended up here pouring out my heart to a stranger, but I didn't pour the whiskey"

"I just wanted you to know that this is me trying, at least I'm trying"

Erwin Smith: "Coney Island"

"If I can't relate to you anymore then who am i related to?"

"Did i shatter you?"

"Lost again with no surprises, disappointments, close your eyes and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down"'

"The question pounds my head 'What's a lifetime of achievement?'"

"will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?"

"Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

"And when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face"

"The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go, sorry for not making you my centerfold"

when i hear "my tears ricochet" eren jumps in my mind 😭 i have cried a lot

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