#My favorite time signature is 3/4 btw. If you even care.

[toasteaa]

Thought too hard. If I don't get to waltz with Neuvillette in the next two seconds, I'm going to go insane.

#toast talks #genshin impacted #My favorite time signature is 3/4 btw. If you even care. #There's a reason I changed my insert's constellation to somnidae saltatio. I'm reading myself to filth. #Putting her in a ballgown in a pretty dreamscape and letting my brain take over from there #Will it be lore important? Of course. Will it be sad? Naturally.

[nevermeyers]

Hey you ❤

For the book rec, I'm super curious about 1, 4, 5, 7 (why?), 8, 16, 42, 60, 90, 127 and 135! I know that's a lot so please don’t feel pressured, i'm just being really nosey.

I hope you had a wonderful day and please take care of yourself (and happy new year again! I wish you the very best for 2023💗)!

Hey ❤️ I hope you're having a wonderful day too! Happy new year again <3

1. a book that is close to your heart ; why

I carry all the books I've read in my childhood very close to my heart. Even if they're very simple, since they're for children, I'm very fond of them. For example those Geronimo Stilton books. They were great 😭

And, you know? I hope one day to have the author's signature. I don't know if this will sound childish but it would be wonderful for my inner child :') I saw the author shows up at book fairs dressed as a mouse and that's so cute

Between my childhood and teenage years I loved the Animorphs and Warrior Cats sagas. I think those were the books with which I had my first brain rots because of the characters and the worlds in which they take place.

Also, thanks to Warrior Cats I started role-playing in a forum where I met wonderful people <3

Regarding Animorphs, I never finished reading all the books and I hope one day to. It's such a unique saga. I love it

4. a poetry book that reads like a story ; why

Ad ora incerta by Primo Levi. His poems are clearly more than a handful of words combined. You feel the pain of his story. If this is a man it's truly touching. It's better to read the poems after reading his memoirs btw

I love war poetry. Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen have beautiful poems too

5. something in fiction that reads like poetry ; why

I don't know exactly how to answer this question. Something in fiction that reads like poetry? Personally I like narrative styles that mix rhymes without becoming poems, but only descriptions or feelings. I think some feelings are usually poetically described, such as betrayal or grief, depending on the author.

7. a book you did not finish ; why

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. I'm sorry, I can't stand his way of narrating things: ') When I was in high school they made us read another of his books and it was just as unbearable. He has something that I find extremely boring

I also wasn't able to finish Truman Capote's In Cold Blood for the same reason

8. a book you finished in one sitting

There're countless books that I devoured in one afternoon. On the one hand, I hate when it happens because I like to buy books with the expectation that they'll last me at least a week :') however, sometimes it's impossible for me to resist the urge to keep reading

I would like to mention here Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger, which I found to be a true masterpiece, very easy and fast to read and with a lot of background. It was required reading in what was my favorite high school subject "universal literature" and I loved it from the first moment

16. a book you'd recommend to your younger self

I don't have a book that I would recommend to my younger self. But I have one I'm in charge of reading at all times of my life

At the same time is the book I emotionally treasure the most, even more than ones above in question 1. Those from question 1 made me met wonderful people, love and cry, but this book is just different.

I'm talking about Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira. It's just a beautiful book, I don't even have words to describe how much I love it, how fondly I remember it. I usually read it at all stages of my life because it's so important to me and I love seeing it from different perspectives as I get older.

I've read it at 7, at 10, at 15, at 18 years old. And every time I find something more on it. All the letters to Kurt Cobain, Judy Garland, Amy Winehouse among others are equally heartbreaking and precious.

All of them are personalized in a special sense regarding the life of whom they are directed. They talk about abuse, first love, family, mental health issues, lgbt-phobia and talk with those famous dead people about the world that surrounded them and the world that surrounds the protagonist, all revolving around her adolescence and the death of her sister.

Dear John Keats (..)

and I go round and round, but I still can't make sense of the world. Maybe it's good that it's endless, because I think that when you talk about beauty you don't mean something merely pretty. You mean something that makes us human. The urn, you say, 'is a friend of all men'. It will survive beyond his generation, beyond the next, just like your poem. You died almost two centuries ago, when you were only forty-five years old, but your words live on.

I could spend hours talking about this book and I could cry all the tears I have left for it.

42. a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end

They Promised us the Glory by Mario Escobar. I got to the end crying, shedding tears like a baby. All of this author's books are beautiful. Yeah, I'm such a freak for historical novels

60. a book that you think about at 3am

I already fell asleep at that time 🤌🏻 I usually think of random poetry or certain fragments of certain books, depending on my emotional state lmao 😭

Here's an example from Mark Frost's The Second Objective

Why do you value your pitiful and insignificant life so much? What have you done with it so far? What is there in it that deserves to be saved?

(...)

You have no idea how cheap life is. You have no idea of what you discover when you get to the bottom. There is no honor, no dignity, no morality, no spirit. Just blood and flesh. Life is shit.

I think so much about this scene. Insanely much.

90. the longest book you've read

I think the longest book I've ever read is the finale of Jay Kristoff's Nevernight trilogy at about 800 pages.

127. a book you'd read when you're missing somebody

It's not a book exactly, but a story from a compilation book on Legends written by Bécquer. 'A moonbeam'

“No! No!” he yelled “I don't want anything! I want you to leave me alone! Songs, love, glory... Lies! All are ghosts we imagine to our liking. We want them, we run after them, and for what... ? Just to find a moonbeam”

Most of my writings have reference to this legend ❤️

135. recommend any book you like!

Love Letters to de Dead, definitely.

And what for me is one of the best books ever written Der Junge, Der Seinen Geburtstag Vergass, by Rudolf Frank. I don't think it has an English translation, but it is a beautiful book, one of my favorites. It tells of a Polish 14yo boy adopted by the German artillerymen who destroyed his town during World War I and was one of the books burned at the stake by the nazis in May 1933

“And when you win the war, with God's help and yours too, what do you think the powerful will say? They will say: 'we are going to make another war, one that does not cost us anything and that gives us a lot of money' (...) and then they will make war against you and all your people, and they will destroy your house and kill your wife, and It will be thanks to you for wearing that blood-stained uniform.”

That conversation was the main reason it was burned lmao. This guy predicted everything

#thank you for the ask <3 #@meyers #—asks🌸

[noxtivagus]

HELLO LUNE ZZZ I JUST WOKE UP oh dear god its already 3pm this is the latest that i have been awake recently oh my ... BUT i hope you are having a great day ahead nd you already ate wadawada hehehe (*´ω｀*) i will respond to your ask later after this btw i was kinda shocked when you flooded it /pos but it made me vv happy!!!

gone angels is a beautiful song, one of my favorites in the library of ruina vocals ost after string theocracy and ehem from a place of love. hehe i was gonna ramble how beautiful this song is BUT!! that would be somewhat big spoilers to the library of ruina game HELP practically speaking, the song itself is a HUGE SPOILER even to the title alone, but the song is the protaganist's theme song/boss fight ost (yes he became a boss spoiler alert!!!) and it hurts even more when you played the protagonist's side episode and found out the true context behind this song because it hits like a truck. huhu roland you deserve better

what's interesting about this song is because the protagonist's pages (you can call them skills as well) is named “a waltz in black” while his late partner is “a waltz in white” respectively and gone angels is in a 3/4 time signature, which is often used for waltz songs!! and the irony because the piano (or pianist spoiler alert again) is the reason why the protaganist's life is in shambles and the reason why his partner passed away and the only reason what drives him the most. the song's instrumental is only the piano! you can really tell mili put a lot of care and love to this to match up to the theme of the game. the song can be also viewed in two perspective, the first half belongs to the first protagonist, roland while the second half belongs to the other protagonist, angela. i want to discuss about the lyrics as well BUT!!! thats major spoilers huhu but yes the lyrics for gone angels are beautiful. oh dear im rambling sm please forgive me!! i certainly adore project moon's works and mili's songs vv much (;ŏ﹏ŏ) HELP i kinda spoiled you a bit i hope you dont mind hehe

children of the city is another favorite of mine and another good song from the library of ruina ost! please do listen to it if you haven't. i love the library of ruina ost because you could listen to them outside of context (except for gone angels because that is a literal spoiler) even if you haven't played the game yet. like from a place of love who seems like a song about toxic relationships and the peer pressure of getting married/settling down with a family on the outside but hides a darker and dreadful meaning once you know the context, children of the city seems like your song about depression and not being able to cope with failure and about complete apathy, wanting to change but can't seem to do so. this youtube comment that i found on the official video perfectly describes what the song looks like on a outsider's perspective but also relates to the actuall meaning of the song, which is kinda sad since this is a theme song of a character who wanted to break free from a never-ending cycle he had been living with his whole life only to find out that he has lost his way while doing so and he was the one being played at in the end. all his attempts to ascend in the system and change it were futile and hopeless as the system he was fighting against was omnipotent and stuff.

oh another interesting fact, children of the city is at the same beat/tempo as a human heart! hehe another small detail that i adore!

speaking of osts, i love the kh ost sm!! especially the orchestra versions of the songs hehe i love orchestra vv much!!! they gave me sm joy nd comfort. fun fact, i first learned of kh because of their osts and my first one was actually xion's theme! xion is a very special character to me and haha dyk? before having the name fei/yori, people used to call me xion! and guess where i got the name? right, from xion on kh! i sometimes relate to her on a personal degree (｡ﾉω＼｡) indeed!!! kh is very nostalgic and made the rest of my childhood a memorable one. OH SO KH1 WAS YOUR FIRST KH GAME??? HELP ME TOO!!!! omg thats so surprising to hear.

i hope you are having a good day ahead!! please do enjoy the weekends to the fullest nd yes they r very short zzz its already sunday and tomorrow its monday again huhu (╥﹏╥) BUT a new week to overcome is a very rewarding experience because it reminds you that you made progress and that you are slowly making a mark for yourself in this world. its good to learn a lot of new things. indeed, you should keep those imporant to you close and hold them dearly and you have so much more to do, i'm excited to see where your journey takes you in the future. i believe you have the potential to go even beyond your limitations. i believe in you, lune!!! you can do it ❤️◝(⁰▿⁰)◜❤️

GOOD EVENING (early morning oops) YORIIII i'm so sorry i got to this so late, i read it n wrote most of the following the day you sent this (4 days ago iirc?) but i got busy. n. yh 😭😭 that said i hope you slept well that day! n hopefully hopefully the past few days too 🥹 you deserve that rest. there's a lot more i want to write in addition to what i have from days before alrdy so i'll get started w that >< (n dw take as much time as you want on the asks, no rush whatsoever <3) (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

LIBRARY OF RUINA UWAHHH god i'm even more interested in it now, n it's thanks to you so THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! o((>ω< ))o in the past few days i've been listening to a lot of mili ehe, esp those you mentioned bcs they're now my favs too >.> ANGELS. WALTZ. PIANO. ngl i freaked out when i read that explanation from you bcs oh my god i love those themes sm !?! i cld. i cld ramble about that for ages HDFKLADJKFSDK ＞︿＜ i love details so much….& meaning…. & themes…. YORI YOU'VE GOTTEN ME SO CURIOUS N INTRIGUED damn i already love the lyrics sm on an out of context perspective n i'm nervous /pos n really excited to learn about it w context >< n. i really wna hear your own rambles i am genuinely so excited to analyze n learn more about the game myself n brainrot about it !!!! & mili's probably gna be one of my fav artists now (thank you for all this) & DW IDM THESE LITTLE SPOILERS i think they've made me oven more excited rn hehe 🥺

i love all the songs sm…. when i read you starting to talk about children of city my heart ached a bit oh my god. HDJFAJLKSDF i got hurt a bit from reading the first part of the comment already that i stopped to leave it for later since i skimmed your ask at first to write down certain points i want to take note of (i reply to asks like writing a draft for an essay) 😭😭 reading back n >< oh my god coping w failure n apathy, wanting to change but can't seem to do so HFJKDASLFJSD SOB THAT. UWAH THAT CAUGHT ME SO HOOKED . i hear it's a sequel though yeah n when i was talking to a friend earlier on the games we want to buy i brought it up n he mentioned he has the first game so. maybeee. n i saw from your twt that. the game's on sale. MAYBE MAYBE HOPEFULLY V SOON…. I'M REALLY HYPED. THAT'S SO SAD UWAHH 'losing your way n wanting to still be a part of it' 🥹 reading back on this ask after listening to the song a lot these past few days hit different. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THANK YOU YORI

from a place of love was the first that caught me bcs it was the one i first saw on your account then string theocracy bcs it's the first in the playlist n i listened to all of them in order in the playlist & then gone angels caught my eye bcs ANGELS n while there's no lyrics on spotify i heard some stuff that really interested me so i searched up the lyrics n. YES. i remember at first the numbers in children of the city intrigued me sm (if there's meaning in them then. i'm so excited to learn if there is ?!?). n then YEAH i rmber this also was one of the top ones that caught my interest. i love the beat /tempo so goddamn much i rmber that was one of my first thoughts so mwah mwah you're so right >< HUMAN HEART. THAT'S SO GOOD. it's actually been one of the songs that have comforted me recently it sounds so calming. thank you so much i hope to be able to brainrot n hyperfixate on this soon 🫶🏼

KH & ORCHESTRA. oh my god yes same. xion's theme…. OH MY GOD I RELATE W YOU ON THAT (/≧▽≦)/ 🤍 >< i played kh1 first bcs of my aunt but i never got off the island i think, i was really too young to actually play. but i still remember the beginning so well n the paopu fruit (which i kept on calling star fruit for quite a long time after until i really knew its actual name) 🥹 kh3 was basically gifted from my aunt bcs it's not really her type of game so oh my god i barely know anything about xion but i relate with her too from what i know t_t (っ´Ι`)っ(i actually ended up changing my discord pfp to her like. yesterday i think !!!! ><) THAT'S SO COOL…. xion's really such a beautiful name n that's so beautiful to hear too. uwahh thank you for reminding n adding more to my kh interest recently (bcs i've been seeing a lot more of it recently again w dearly beloved, listening to more of the ost again these past few months, n some moots on twt)! it's my childhood so i've wanted to know more abt it for a while but i've been busy n struggling a bit w my mental health but really really soon i wna yk get back more n learn more actively so c: & w gbf too actually THANK YOU

feels kinda like fate !?! bcs these things r aligning not only here on tumblr w you but also more moots i made recently on twt & an irl >< i'll have a lot more time soon w sembreak so there's a lot i wna do n then sob bday so i wna get a lot more stuff done n yeah new start, new drive, renewed passion n determination n purpose so. i want to say here thank you for being a part of that actually. i appreciate your existence a lot n it's really nice making a new friend. I WANT TO SAY MORE BUT MY SLEEP-DEPRIVATION IS RUINING MY COMMUNICATION SKILLS 😭😭 but i really just want to say how grateful i am for you? n we've only known each other for a while but i genuinely do care for you. for the individual and unique person you are. i'm not really sure what more to say but yeah. i hope the sentiment gets across.

& i think i said this before but. on me writing a lot (Genuinely hope you dm!!!!) it's nice communicating here via asks it reminds me of writing a letter !?! which is pretty comforting in itself already. N. 😭😭 THANK YOU FOR THAT YORI. n remember you too, alright? you're human like me n you deserve that as much too (^^ゞ uwahh i've been reading your vents lately n. i've been wanting to say smth in return for the kindness you've given me as well as. just out of unconditional care. 🥹 i just. sob wait as i'm writing this i forgot all the things i wanted to say ≧ ﹏ ≦ i've been struggling w finding the right words to say n the energy to reach out even though i really want to do what i can to help the people i care about so. i can only hope that even some of this might reach you. as long as there's tomorrow there will always be hope n possibilities for things to be better in so many different ways. time may be pressuring but in the end. in the inside. we can always take as much time as we can to get better n. yeah do things. as humans we'll always be deserving of something better. n there'll always be someone or something out there that means so much more than we'll ever know. (whether it be something we ourselves love, or vice versa) idk where i'm trying to get w that bcs maybe the words of comfort i try to give others r words i mean to say to myself. i'm rambling but there's a sort of beauty in how we relate to others like that? in the own words you've said to me, i hope you yourself find you in them.

please remember to take time to rest properly. you deserve that. n i hope things will get better for you, with whatever you're dealing with. it's nearly 4 am oh my god hopefully you're sleeping rn but yeah! (つ´∀｀)つ 🤍

#🌙.inbox #🌙.moots #— yori ! 🤍 #THIS GOT LONG #it's like 4:48 am rn bcs i got distracted after finishing writing that >< #i'm too sleepy to proofread but yh just wanted to hopefully even just. maybe give a lil comfort #i cld've written better but hopefully that may be enough for even a lil bit aaaaa #🫶🏼 mwah mwahs n huggies w consent n i hope you're sleeping well rn!!!! c:

[amelia]

related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)

it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do

i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through

i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3

other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3

number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.

and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.

she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.

number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!

um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.

beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.

i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE

number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)

but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.

ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃

also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!

( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )

honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long

#i literally do apologize for how long this got but you have to understand i was holding myself back . #she is…. everything. to me. i could keep going for so long #amy pond #ask #jonismitchell

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Jaime Lannister was Personally Victimized

and so was I. An essay. Subtitled how we were wronged, how he was wronged, how Brienne was wronged, how Braime was wronged, and how years of development was wronged. 

Let’s begin.

Now couple of things: I don’t read the books (plan to now.) so I’m just mostly going off the show and specifically this season, because this season had 2 Jaimes. This is probably not academically sound, or too terribly coherent, but I frankly just want to get my thoughts out there, because I was plump bamboozled with “The Bells.” Not just because it ruined so many seasons of juicy, believable, utterly transformative character development for my personal favorite GOT character, (and many others as well.) but considering the episodes that came before this one, it made zero sense. Because let me tell you, in 8 x 02, this lowkey Braime shipper was turned into major Braime shipper in the span of one hour, and I was literally made to believe they were endgame. Maybe not ride into the sunset with a bunch of kids on Tarth endgame, but made explicitly clear without a shadow of a doubt that Brienne was Jaime’s soulmate, true love...or whatever you want to call it.

All of this... all for this to culminate in him going back to Cersei. All for all those seasons of change for him to revert to season one, episode one, the things I do for love Jaime. From a storytelling perspective, there is no satisfaction. and it makes NO sense. Now of course D&D are all about “subversion,” but what was done to Jaime was not a witty or clever subversion of a redemption arc, but a complete and utter cancellation of all those years of hard work that they put in and that Nik put in, in order to get us to like Jaime. Jeremy Jahns in his review on YouTube said it best: Jaime Lannister was stabbed in the back. Furthermore, what they did to Jaime, (and let’s face it, he’s not the only one in this catastrophe that was personally victimized.) basically posits the really terrible message that “you can’t change your nature or where you came from or be different from your parents. (Which is what happened in Dany’s case. To be clear though, I think the signs were there for her, but it was poorly executed.) 

Either way, such a great message. What happened to Jaime also made no sense from a character perspective. Sure, Mr. I don’t care about innocents. ha. ha. ha. I also totally stabbed a guy in the back when I was 17 because he was going to kill innocents, thus giving me my name and eternal shame. Ha ha ha, look how consistent I am.

You’re not the Jaime Lannister that came to Winterfell. Jaime Lannister died in Brienne’s arms one night and a robot was sent in his place to go to Cersei.

Now this post won’t be talking about the major character inconsistencies (sure you don’t care about innocents Jaime SURE.) or go more into the terrible messages one can get out of this season (and Game of Thrones in general) or go into more detail about how subversion and spoiler culture is ruining good storytelling, but I will say that it reads to me that because such a common theory before Season 8 was that Jaime was going to kill Cersei, D&D thought to themselves hmmm better not do that because that’s what people expect, and in wanting to shock and surprise they invalidated his growth and development by making him die with her. Oh look, D&D. So clever. Yet in stroking your ego you gave the people that once trusted you a taste of ashes. Like...people figuring out where things are going to go is actually GOOD storytelling. 

More so though, this will focus on how the episodes before this one were framed and how the tone was set up. Because watching episode 2, 3, and most of 4...they made me believe Braime was endgame. They really did. Then they turn it around and make me expect it was always Cersei? 

Utter garbage. Jaime was wronged. So was Brienne. that’s another post though. (so is Missandei, and Dany... and heck we can actually talk about who WASN’T wronged this season.) But with the Kingslayer, let’s get started and discuss how everything, literally everything, was set up in favor of Jaime’s redemption and endgame with Brienne, all for it to get, quite literally, squished.

(sorry if that was a bad joke considering)

Now into the meat and potatoes. First of all, let’s talk about Jaime’s look this season. Is he even blonde anymore?

Both he and Tyrion, who symbolically abandoned the Lannister crest seasons ago, sure aren’t sporting that golden blonde look anymore. I mean Tyrion kind of is, but compared to Cersei:

it’s nowhere near it for both these boys. (heck, I would even argue Jaime starts to lose his signature Lannister look when he meets Brienne.) However, if Season 7 Jaime chooses to hide his golden hand, the Jaime that walked into Winterfell with darkish hair, beard, and cute bangs is really, really removed from his Lannister golden lion look. Furthermore, he even said in 8 x 02 his golden lion days are done. Now why. Tell me WHY we do these things in the costuming department all to send him right back to the lioness? WHY

Now I said I wasn’t going to talk about the terrible themes and messages D&D are positing with this season, but I do have to say that considering episode 4, with Jon talking to his sibling-cousins, and Sansa, Arya and Bran’s discussion about not trusting people, and then Jaime going back to Cersei...the writers are really out here saying that family is all that matters. Literally all. And sure, I love my family, I have a great family. But sometimes, like with Jaime and Cersei, families are toxic. Sometimes the bonds you make with others that aren’t your family are more meaningful than the ones you have with blood. Sam and Jon are like brothers even though they’re not related, and Jaime’s bond with Brienne was far, far more meaningful than with Cersei. It was Brienne, not Cersei that elevated him into wanting to be a better man.

But lol, guess not. it’s like what that one guy from Aladdin yells at Aladdin, “YOU WERE BORN A STREET RAT, YOU WILL DIE A STREET RAT” except with Jaime it’s “YOU WERE BORN A LANNISTER YOU WILL DIE A LANNISTER” except Jaime didn’t get an Aladdin moment where he proves the snooty prince wrong--he just regressed and left his Jasmine all alone crying.

Another thing: ignoring the awful character growth invalidation, if Jaime was going to go back to Cersei just to be with her (and not kill her/convince her to stop as a lot of us, including me, thought in 8 x 04), there just wasn’t enough buildup for him to make this change in episode 4 come “The Bells.” He was happy with Brienne, smiling with Tyrion, (above gif) then he gets news from Sansa and he’s like nah I better bounce? I could buy Jaime thinking he has to save Cersei at least for the sake of the baby, an innocent life. I can even buy Jaime with a guilt complex, thinking he doesn’t deserve his happiness with Bri and it’s in his place to be by her side because of family and the things Tywin used to tell him...IDK there’s a lot we could speculate. But I cannot buy that the same man who walked out on Cersei in season 7 and then STAY AT WINTERFELL FOR A MONTH WITH BRIENNE would just be like...in the span of literally five show minutes with no real good explanation go nah it’s always Cersei when he showed it WASN’T. Now call me crazy, but this could have, could have been done in a believable way if we had seen the spiral. but we needed more with Jaime and Brienne, more hints with maybe his struggling to be happy but being guilty and him realizing he did have a child on the way, wanting to do better for that baby than they did to the others. Just a kind of ambiguous glance at Brienne after a session of sex (after their first time, which he was very enthusiastic about BTW) isn’t enough to convey such a drastic one eighty, nor is him looking pensive after another night with Brienne. (and you know they totally had oathsex that night. Bri was naked it looked like and she came out in robe.) 

Now had this happened, I would have still hated it for the terrible message about “always go back to your toxic family,” but it would have played out much more like a Shakespearean tragedy than a random and giant middle finger to Jaime’s arc and Brienne’s character for the sake of a subversion. And heck, I could have forgiven this too if “The Bells” played out differently, and Jaime, realizing Cersei is too far gone, does what we always thought he would do.

*sigh* 

Now let’s talk about him and Brienne and how it was filmed/framed. Now either I’m just naive or a big sap (truth to those statements), but it seemed to me that Braime was purposely filmed as though they were the OTP of this final stretch of Game of Thrones. episode 2-half of 4? this disaster human was all BRIENNE BRIENNE BRIENNE. All for it to go CERSEI CERSEI CERSEI. 

Episode 2 Jaime and episode 5 are not the same person, at all.  FROM THE VERY BEGINNING in episode 2, this man looked at Brienne of Tarth like she was the sun,the stars, his everything, casting glances at her during the whole “trial scene.” Talking to Tyrion, he plump ignored him to stare longingly at Brienne from the ramparts. He knighted her with such beautiful ceremony, and the way they looked at each other after? 

A knighting? A marriage? both? 

these people all think they’re going to die, but instead of lamenting Cersei, “all that’s mattered” at least according to “the bells,” (LOL) Jaime Lannister wants to give Brienne of Tarth this beautiful act of love. and symbolically marry her And then he looks at her and he’s THAT devoted and such a smitten kitten.  

Episode 3. He never left her side during the whole battle. He saved her, then she saved him. Then this shot:

and the other shot of them, fighting side by side? this is literally a fic trope. 

Ok so then the oathsex happens but before it happens, there’s a shot of oathkeeper in Brienne’s room, AKA the symbol of their bond and their love. Then they do it, and I know some people have mixed feelings about it, but I personally liked how it happened, even loved how it happened. It was awkward. Jaime said “I don’t want things growing on me” (though he’s made it pretty clear someone has grown on him, great line.) He liked it when she took charge. He reminded her it was a first time for him too. And then they have a kiss that really, in my opinion, culminates the years of bickering and sexual tension. It was my personal favorite GOT sexy scene, because it felt so real. He sleeps with her and they live like lovers for a month. They ARE lovers for a month or so.

and then he leaves and that look he gave her? 

that was the look of a man who thought he had to give up on his beloved. Not a man who didn’t love this woman anymore. He’s defeated and broken but he is not not in love.

basically, all the clues (and just THIS SEASON) led to Brienne being his true love. Not Cersei. In Jaime choosing Cersei over the woman who he looked at like he saw the sun not only has made the writers make some really unfortunate implications about toxic relationships, but they’ve also said that people can’t change. They’ve completely disrespected Brienne in the process, making her seem like she was just a blip on his radar... when she wasn’t. She was so much more. 

Now maybe all along, Jaime’s arc was not a redemption arc, but choosing who you want to be. Well, if that’s the case, it’s also a bad message. Apparently to D&D you can never change, you’re always doomed to head right back to square one, right back to “the things you do for love” and your toxic roots. If that’s the case then all Brienne was this season was a dangling carrot, a oh look what Jaime could have had if he wasn’t so addicted to Cersei.... sad sad SUBVERSION too bad he’s an ADDICT though! 

there’s no empathy. No respect. 

I have a bad feeling Bri’s pregnant too. And if that’s the case...if all this woman was supposed to do this season was carry the baby of a man who broke her heart just so the wheel wouldn’t truly break? They’re going to make Brienne just a vessel for a baby, making that Jaime’s “redemption?”

so in conclusion: I was not only infuriated because D&D invalidated so much growth in favor of witty subversion that’s not witty and actually tastes like ashes and proports a toxic message, but what was done tonally made no sense, because Braime was filmed like they were “right.” They also wrote a Jaime that’s more akin to Season One Episode One Jaime, and not the one that came to Winterfell because he made a promise.  

I have almost no hope he is alive, D&D said so... but hey stranger things have happened. Nik is being quiet and hasn’t said goodbye to his character like everyone else has whose died already, but maybe he’s just salty/had time to process what happened/just busy right now/ waiting until the last episode to make a final statement. I mean this guy is kind of a troll, but he’s a classy dude and did an amazing job. But if it’s true, if Jaime’s end was to die under a rock, to go deeper and kinda soften this, I do think the Jaime that “died,” wasn’t a Jaime that romantically wanted Cersei, but a Jaime who loved her, finally, like an actual brother and not...the stuff before. There was no kiss, just an embrace. Someone trying to make an ending not so scary. 

either way, I never expected or even wanted Jaime to survive Game of thrones until it freaking looked like that he was for a hot minute and get that good sweet ending with the one woman who he truly loved. But if he died,I wanted something better than what he got. I wanted Jaime to die as someone who did do something for love, but for a love that wasn’t a destructive one, or a regressive one. Not the same love as season one episode one, but a transformative love. Someone who did the right thing. For someone who made such an impact on so many people, he deserved better. 

And I hear rhetoric from some, mostly not on tumblr, that I should  have expected a fan favorite character like Jaime to get a shitty end, because GOT is about subversion. But GOT, above all, has to succeed as a satisfying story for the thing as a whole, and for the characters. It has to make sense. This makes NO sense. And Jaime, such an important character in the mythos, shouldn’t go out like that. Neither should Cersei TBH. She deserved more than standing by a window. 

George. Give Jaime better. Please. Not necessarily a ride into the sunset ending with the one who transformed him, but one where he knows he’s a better person and has been transformed. One where he knows he’s changed for the better.

*peace*

#game of thrones critical #got spoilers #jaime lannister deserved better #jaime lannister #game of thrones spoilers #braime #ugh now I can move on #write my fix it fic #got critical #peace

[sarahelizabethstudies]

This is basically my de-stress ritual. When that depression kicks in and I’m feeling like crap, or if I’ve just had a shitty day, I kind of have a routine that helps me take care of myself and just kind of decompress. My personality usually dictates that I do everything for everyone before I even think of myself, so once I realize “Oh, hey, you haven’t made time for yourself in a few weeks,” I found that having a kind of ritual really helps me allow myself to take care of myself without feeling guilty. So yeah. I’m going to share my “I’ve had a bad day and I don’t want to do anything” routine.

1.  Drink a glass of water. The whole damn thing. Fill up a glass and drink it all within a few minutes. I don’t care if it’s 32 oz. or 8 oz. just fill a cup up and drink it. Reason? 1) Hydration! 2) Look at you go! You just accomplished something! That glass of water is your bitch.

2.  Get yourself into a robe. Ooooo I love my robes. Bras? Gross. Pants? No fun. Just trust me, put on a robe. I’ve got a short satin one; a long silk one; a long fluffy one; and a long hotel-like waffle one. A robe for every occasion.

3.  Get your hair out of your face. However you do this, do it.

4.  Brush your teeth. I know this seems silly and simple like “Sarah, I brush my teeth I am civilized” but like. It’s such a simple self-care thing that is easy to forget if you didn’t just wake up or if you’re not getting ready to go to bed, and it really really really makes a difference.

5.  Moisturize. (this is why you’re in your robe btw) Unscented, gentle lotion for your body (I’m a huge Aveeno fan, get the sheer hydration one). A nice cream for your face (I like Pond’s dry skin cream esp. in the winter). Lip balm too (I’m a Carmax gal).

6.  Put on your favorite perfume (or essential oil blend). My signature scent is Chloé. Just a little here and there. On your wrists. Behind your ears. The hollow of your throat. For me, putting on perfume is a ritual in and of itself. It makes me slow down. Makes me breathe a little deeper.

7.  Stretch. Fold yourself over, one vertebrae at a time. Roll your neck, your ankles. Wiggle your toes. Flex and point your feet. Shrug your shoulders, roll them. Reach above your head as far as you can and roll your wrists. Close your eyes. Listen to your body. Take your time and focus on every movement.

8.  Drink another glass of water. Congratulations, you’ve made it full circle. Drink your water, take a few deep breaths. You matter. You have to take care of yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty for making time for you.

#mine #text post #ref #mental health #self love #self care #studying #study #studyblr #studyblogger #sarahelizabethstudies

[friendlyneighborhoodborg]

Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 3: Favorite Ship| “Couples Villainy”

Sorry I was later than usual today.  School dragged today.  But I swear, I’m gonna finish this all by Saturday’s deadline.  Even if I have to post days 4-6 on day 7, I will finish on time.

Alright, time for some more loosely-interpreted prompts.  This one, “Favorite Ship.”  Well, I hope it’s obvious by now who I ship Marc with, so today I’ve made the prompt about shipping in general.  This is a thinly-veiled excuse for not really doing the actual requested prompt.

Disclaimers were in Day 1.  And btw, here’s about where that warning about dysphoria comes in, and where I need y’all to tell me if I’m handling it right.

(~2000 words (Holy Crap) in case you care)

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

           The third day of their collaboration was technically the first, being the first day either of them got any work done on the comic.  They had spent the school day texting each other ideas for the story, so that when it came time to meet up in the art room after school, they had completely conflicting concepts of what they wanted to do.

           Especially the villains to use.

           “I still think bringing in Frightingale and Guitar Villain together would be awesome.”

           “Thematically, sure,” Marc argued.  “But think of the power-sets.  They don’t really go together- Frightingale freezes, Guitar Villain makes them dance.”  He scribbled something else down in his notes.  “Consider powers that could play into each other or compliment each other.”

           They sat in the back corner of the room, hunched over one table with their voices low.  Marc had noticed Nathaniel’s classmates come in later, and his friend had introduced them as they did.  Rose and Juleka were on the side of the room, Rose with a little notebook of poetry and Juleka with her bass guitar.  Alix was spray-painting a wall (hopefully with the school’s permission), and the art teacher whose name escaped him watched her warily (suggesting it wasn’t).  More spray cans were stacked near where Juleka was sitting.  Marinette, the only face Marc knew in this club, was absent from the meeting.

           “Such as?” prompted Nath.

           “Well, I can’t actually think of any yet.”  He pursed his lips.  “Dark Cupid and Glaciator?”

           “One breaks up love, one freezes the resultant single people.”  Nathan shook his head.  “You see, that almost sounds kinda gimmicky.”

           “You got a better idea?”

           “We don’t need to pair them up.”  He tore off another sheet from his sketchpad. “Why don’t we let Puppeteer loose in a toy store?  If she finds an action figures section, maybe with the heroes’ figures in it…”

           Marc looked across at him.  “Dude,” he said. “That’s crazy awesome.  But how on earth would the heroes beat her after that?”

           “With the aid of a brand-new, never-before-seen and therefore unfranchised hero.”  Nath grinned smugly.  “See? I can be clever, too.”

           Even Marc had to laugh at that.  “Cool.  But Puppeteer’s pretty powerless on her own, she’d need a way to get her allies right off the bat.  Does Marinette still make those villain dolls?”

           Nathaniel slapped his page in defeat.  “No,” he said.  “I remember now, I asked her that before.”  At Marc’s questioning look, he explained.  “I was trying to work Puppeteer into a different story.  Forget that one then.”

           “Back to our first problem, then.”

           “It occurs, this is kind of how I work normally.”  The redhead chuckled lightly.  “I get too many ideas that I have to thin them out.  Which sucks, cause I think they’re all good, but I don’t want to do them all.”  He waved a hand dismissively.  “So, uh, welcome to my brain, I guess.”

           “Heh.”  Marc bit his lip anxiously.  “I don’t know if you noticed, but your pink friend is standing right there, listening in.”

           Nathaniel rolled his eyes and turned to face the intruder.  “I told you, Rose, I’m not spoiling it.”

           “Come on,” the girl moaned.  “Your stories are so interesting, Nathaniel, I really want to see what you’re working on.”

           “Right now, we’re not working on anything,” Marc pointed out.  “We can’t even decide which villains we want to use in this story.”

           Nath had an idea.  “Why don’t you help?”

           “What?” Rose gasped in delight.  “You want me to help with the story?”

           “Sure.  We can’t agree on anything.  What do you want to see?”

           “Oh, geez,” she gushed.  “This is so cool!  I get to pick the story!”

           “Hey,” piped Marc, looking at his partner. “Are you sure about this?”

           “Couldn’t hurt.  This is just brainstorming, after all.”

           He shrugged.  “Fine.  Rose, you got any ideas?”      

           “I’ve got it!  You should have a couples’ team-up.”  She clapped her hands together and rocked back on her heels.  “Then even the villains can get a romantic subplot.”

           “But…”  Marc scrunched his face.  “As villains?  But they won’t remember anything.”

           “Trust me,” Rose assured.  “I’ve seen it loads of times before.  Nothing brings two people together like a supervillain rampage.”  She sighed dreamily.  “So romantic.”

           “If you say so.”

           “I’m serious!”

           “Rose has a point.”  Alix agreed, finishing a yellowish streak on her wall.  “We know a lot of couples who got together after one of them went butterfly. Rust!”  Without even looking up from tuning her guitar, Juleka threw the requested color over to her.  “Even the first one we had, over a year ago, Stoneheart.  The whole reason he got corrupted was ‘cause he couldn’t spit out his crush and he was getting picked on for it.  Ivan and Mylène have been sickeningly saccharine ever since.”

           “And,” Rose added, “don’t forget, they had their first kiss after Mylène was akumatized.”  

           “ ‘Scuse me,” Marc butt in.  “This is the same Mylène that’s in that play with her dad?”

           “Uh-huh.”

           “She and her boyfriend have been akumatized?”

           “Yep.  Her dad, too.”

           “Cripes.”  Marc surveyed the room.  “You know, there’s a lot of rumors that come from your guys’ class.”

           “We’re aware,” Alix drawled, dropping her current can for a silver can in the row next to her.

           “So?”  Nath waited for his partner’s approval.  “Couples?”

           “Well…”  Marc gave in. “That’s still a better idea than what we’ve got.”  He turned up to Rose again.  “Have anyone in mind?”

           “Do Mylène and Ivan!”  She frowned suddenly.  “Or no, wait, Ondine and Kim!  No, Nino and Alya!”

           Marc blinked.  “You know an awful lot of past akumas.”

           “Well, everyone in our homeroom has been akumatized, so…”  She nodded.  “Yeah, we know a lot.”

           Marc gaped, aghast.  “E-everyone?”

           “Well, all but two.”  Rose suddenly found herself conflicted.  “Oh, no, I’m rooting for them to get together, but I don’t want them to get akumatized…”

           “How have all of you gotten akumatized!?” he exclaimed.  “I’ve heard of your class, I thought you were the ones with the big emotional support thing going on!”

           “Well, that was only after we got akumatized,” Alix explained.  She squinted.  “Whose idea for a word was ‘akumatized?’  That’s such a mouthful.”

           “Okay.”  Exasperated, he threw up his hands. “Seriously, what’s the deal here with your class?”

           “Well.”  Alix slid off her mask and stepped back to appraise her wall.  “You ever met Chloé Bourgeois?”

           Marc tilted his head.  “Once or twice.  Wasn’t she that kinda bratty girl who failed superhero-ing so badly she only got her second chance so she’d stop bragging about it?”

           “Hah!”  Alix shouted. “If only.  No, she’s still bragging about it.  Yellow!”  She held out her hand, waiting for someone to toss it to her, until she realized it was already in the pile at her feet.  “She’s in our homeroom, too.  And she’s been the cause for… oh, I think everyone but Ivan, Max, Lila and Nino.”  She uncapped the can and shook it.  “Like, two-thirds, including the teacher, and not counting people outside our class.”

           “Hang on,” Juleka challenged as Alix widened her yellow streak. “What about you?”

           “I blame her indirectly.  Dark Green!”  She caught it without even looking at her.  “You know, Rose, you didn’t get a girlfriend from your akuma.  In fact, if I recall correctly from the zillion times you’ve told the story, you and Juleka going out had nothing to do with the supervillain drama.”

           “Oh, yeah,” Rose realized.  She thought about this for a moment, looking at Juleka as if appraising the foundation of their relationship.  “Well, not every romance has to start like that, I guess.”  She snapped her fingers.  “Hey, but if you have Princess Fragrance in your big issue,” she leaned across the writers’ table for emphasis.  “I’ve got a request.”

           Nath rolled his eyes.  “Let me guess, you want her to team up with Reflekta?”

           “Heavens no!”  She got back on her feet and lowered her voice.  “Look, Juleka… doesn’t like Reflekta a lot.  I mean, she’s gotten a lot better with making herself more visible, but…”  She glanced back worriedly as Juleka stood up, having heard the conversation up to now. “It’s more out of resentment than anything else.”

           “Resentment?” Marc repeated, confused.  “How so?”

           “Nathan got to weaponize his passion,” Juleka stated.  “Rose was a twisted fairy-tale witch.  Even Sabrina got poetic justice.”  She crossed her arms, scowling to the side.  “I just made people look different, and I was decked-out in fuchsia.”

           Rose nodded, and added for Marc’s benefit, “She… hates fuchsia.”

           “I would have looked killer in red.”

           “Yep.”

           “Or purple, my signature.  Or I could have made pink creepy again.”

           “I know.”  Rose tried holding her arm, attempting to quell Juleka’s escalating tone.  “We know, sweetie.”

           “Just not all three of them.”  She looked behind her, scanning the room.  Marc noticed that the art teacher must have left the area moments ago. Juleka turned back.  “Who’s fucking idea was it to take those colors and think, oh, let’s mix those together, that’s a nice shade.  Let’s put it on this goth girl with heels and a fluffy rubber skirt.”

           Rose winced at the swear.  “She’s still not over it.”

           “I had eyelash jewelry, Rose!  No one can look threatening with eyelash jewelry!”

           “I’m sorry you all have to see this.  I swear, she hasn’t had this rant in months.”

           “I…” Juleka looked back at the sound of the door opening and saw the art teacher come back.  She lowered her voice to a grumble.  “I mean, everyone got some awesome dark side alter ego, and I didn’t.”  She started walking back to her bass.  “I got the absolute bottom of the barrel.”

           Everyone was still looking at Juleka after her outburst, so no one was looking at Marc.

           Marc’s face was a deathly pale.

           Words she had used flew through his head, replaying over and over and over.

           ‘Fuchsia.’

           ‘Heels.’

           ‘Fluffy Skirt.’

           ‘Eyelash Jewelry.’

           ‘Reflekta.’

           ‘Made people look different.’

           “That was you?” Marc squeaked, slamming a hand over his mouth.

           Rose looked at Marc strangely.  “Are you alright, Marc?”  

           “I…”  He tried to come up with an excuse.  “Excuse me.”

           He kept his head down as he escaped the classroom, choking down something threatening to come up from his stomach.

           He kept his head down walking into the washrooms, struggling to bring his breathing back under control and calm his anxiety.

           He only brought his head up to look at himself in the mirror.

           ‘Ugh, not him again.’

           It was that feeling again.  The one he didn’t have the right words for.  The one that came on fast and strong, but left soon after.

           He thought he knew what it was before, but he had been wrong.

           Someone opened a stall behind him.  Fine, let him look at the creep glaring at himself in the—

           “Marc?” Marinette called out, voice laced with worry. “W-What are you doing here?”

           Marc’s eyes widened in horror.  “I—” he stammered, clutching his journal like a lifeline. “I’m sorry, I’m in the wrong—”  He gave up trying to speak and he bolted.

           And he ran out of the girls’ washroom and back outside into the courtyard.

           And he fought down the pangs of hurt that told him no, he wasn’t in the wrong place.

           And he didn’t stop until he was back at the art room.

           “And anyway, he hasn’t been akumatized yet, but wouldn’t it be sweet if the Gamer went to him and—”  Rose stopped her rambling when Marc re-entered, two events which were to Nath’s relief.  “Oh, Marc, you’re back!” she chirped.

           “Is something wrong?” Nathan asked.

           “Yeah, I’m fine.”  Marc’s eyes widened and he corrected himself.  “I mean, no, nothing’s wrong.  Let’s uh…”  He tried to remember what the conversation was.  “Let’s do Rose’s first idea.  Her and Juleka, but not with R—” he gulped, too many emotions cluttering up that name for him to mention safely.  He managed to choke “Reflekta” out, and he hoped no one understood.

           “Uh… sure.”  Nath shrugged.  “I’ve never tried making an akuma before.”

           “Oooh,” Rose agreed.  “That’s an even better idea.  Let us know if you need help.”

           Rose left to rejoin her girlfriend, and Marc meekly took his seat again, shakily opening his journal.

           As Nathaniel started doodling up concepts, Marc sat across from him, doing nothing except idly rubbing his hands together.

           His hands.

           His arms.  His neck.  His chest.  His legs.  His face.

           His him.

           Why did it all suddenly make him want to scream?

Okay, this is the most rushed chapter yet, especially for being so long.

In this, I’m trying to write Marc as genderfluid (like Hope Morphin, the person he was based off of), but I’ve found during research that fluidity itself has a pretty loose definition, so I just picked one I thought would work.  I’d like to hear some feedback over if I’m doing something insensitive or offensive; this fic is still being edited, there’s still time for me to change things.

Also, I’ve started cross-posting this to AO3, under the username “BenignCyborg”.  I know Tumblr has a character limit for comments, so if you have something longer you can go there.

#miraculous ladybug #alix kubdel #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #rose lavillant #juleka couffaine #julerose #nathmarc #Marc Appreciation Week

[parapluiepliant]

Creator 2017 Tag Meme

I was tagged by: @tenthebookworm, @sly2o, @tracylorde, @stardust-blake and @pendragaryen.

Thank you so much, ladies! It's an awesome idea that boosts not only our confidence in our work but hopefully also the knowledge about well-deserving but maybe still overlooked content providers in the fandom. :)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created in 2017 (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

In no particular order:

1. Bellamy Blake Modern AU –  Blake returns with new album and band  “Patroclus Perish” (Fake Instagram page plus mini fanfiction):

First of all, I have no Photoshop so all the edits and gifs I do are made from scratch and for some features that are easily done in PS, I have to experiment to get the same effect (or to get it close enough) in my editing software.

That's the reason why this one in particular was pretty fun but also challenging because I wanted to include a video preview (and I also wanted to get the font close to the original). Overall, the edit as well as the mini fanfiction in form of a news article (did I get the tone right as someone who is a learner of English?) were done within a short amount of time because I had this weird creator's rush. You feel the spark and suddenly, you're in a flow and you're eager to finish it. One of the best moods to be honest!

Tumblr messed up the formatting at first which caused the text to disappear, so I had to make a new post. Bad tumblr!

2. Morning Routine (Fanfiction about Baby!Bellamy)

Morning Routine was born pretty much the same way after I had a spark of inspiration. It's also the fanfiction I consider a Parapluiepliant Original and which I consider my very first fanfiction I have ever written (and posted!) because Token , Faith and Foresight, were still inspired by dialogue bits from Lord of the Rings (even though the mix of LotR dialogue bit with Bellarke has some scenes I came up with). And I got some nice comments for that one which is a plus. ;)

The story is basically about Bellamy's father taking care of his son on the Ark before he is called to help out engineers on a routine check up. I really liked how I wrote the ending paragraph and it all came together in the end. It is bittersweet with all its implications, same as the title with its double meaning which only adds to the the feeling when you have finished the story.

3. Exactly how long does it take to tell someone you love them? (Gif Set to one of wellsjahasghost’s 5(+) fic celebration)

This one was inspired by wellsjahasghost‘s 5(+) sentence fics celebration. When I read that specific paragraph for the first time, I was hit pretty hard by all the Bellarke feels, something which only a few have managed so far with their writing. I was immediately struck by the idea of how I'd want to use each sentence.

You could say that I tried to visualize a fanfiction and to get the feeling right, I also played a bit with fonts and colours to indicate memories and text passages in contrast to Bellamy's thoughts.

4. “What if our hearts could be connected like constellations?” (A Bellarke Gif Set using a quote and a folklore about Altair and Vega/Hikoboshi and Orihime)

This is the one I'm really proud of because it is the first gif set where I tried to be a bit more creative. It combines a few thoughts I had here: I used an overlay of the Milky Way to indicate the separation of Bellamy and Clarke similar to Altair and Vega, thus having Altair's star on Bellamy and Vega's on Clarke.

In many stories all over the world, Altair and Vega were lovers separated by the Milkyway. And in Japan, there is a tale that Orihime (literally a weaving princess) and Hikoboshi (literally a star boy), coresponding to Vega and Altair respectively, are only able to meet once a year. Clarke Princess Griffin and Bellamy Starfreckled Blake had to wait 6 years to meet again. So basically their hearts are like stars connected like the constellations aforementioned.

5. The 100 Season 5 Poster Competition

I tried my luck but without any success. However, I'm actually quite proud of it though. Especially, the delinquents in space looking out of the window was challenging as heck (because finding decent pictures of their backs is hard!).

Honorary mention goes to:

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/156548344371/ice-king-baby-i-cannot-believe-that-aaron-and 

(Season 4 Countdown picture of Roan in which I gave him a E-guitar instead of a sword, so he can enter the song-clave to battle them all with his rendition of Ice Ice Baby and which might also be a good idea to get Zach's signature on)

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/162841250346/your-list-was-pragmatic-2x09-remember-me-4x04

(aka the one where I contrasted Clarke's way to tell people that the list was pragmatic and is offended that Jaha implies that other's misundertood it as her telling them they are without value with the famous 'It's worth the risk scene' because Clarke often has that problem to really articulate what she means...WHICH IS WHY SHE TELLS BELLAMY IMPLICITLY THAT SHE THINKS HE'S SPECIAL BY SAYING HIS SISTER WILL COME TO RECOGNIZE IT IN TIME AS WELL. MY HEART!!!!)

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/166082564056/inspired-by-lang-leav-lovers-paradox-from-the 

(really liked how I was able to make the list scene colours look warm but still maintained a bit of the blue light; I also thought that Leav's poem with a little change worked perfectly with some of the communication issues those two idiots in love have)

[btw I never noticed how much edits and text posts I already did! Maybe I'm going to reblog/queue them again because my tags are a mess(TM) and trying to find them all was a hassle...probably missed some due to that too]  

I encourage everyone seeing this to participate, no matter how small or insignificant you think you are. Let's make some noise and have fun! I really like to see some new blogs and boost their creative works, so please tag me in your post and I put it into my queue to keep it going. :)

No pressure tag: @blyedeeks, @thehundredbellarke, @as-inevitable-as-morning and @moonaskingtostay

#tag game #creator tag game #posts von meiner wenigkeit #thank you again lovelies #I'm honoured #:)

[retronator]

Top 10 Retronator Posts

I was playing with the Tumblr API a little bit and transferred all the blog posts into my Pixel Art Academy database (one step closer to finally making my blog theme a real text adventure).

Anyway, I can now search my posts in the database and one thing I always like to do is see which (original) posts are the most popular. Without further ado:

1. Artist Feature: Paul Robertson (17182 notes)

No wonder, @probertson is Tumblr’s darling pixel artist with a signature style and a love of psychedelic GIFs that feels right at home on this (re)blog platform.

2. No Bullshit Pixel Art Tutorial (13797 notes)

My own tutorial, holy shit!

Most people don’t know this, but these were supposed to be slides that go together with a video. I made the video, but never really released it, except as part of a study I’ve done for Pixel Art Academy, called the Getting Started Guide. The video itself isn’t really as good as I hoped it would be, but I might reuse its content one day. Here it is, btw:

3. Artist Feature: Fool ( 13267notes)

Fool is one of the most known and respected artists in the classic pixel art community. His art speaks for itself.

4. Artist Feature: Waneella (11417 notes)

@waneella is a personal favorite of mine and represents what I (for now) call New Wave pixel art that started somewhere in 2011 after Superbrothers shook up the genre aesthetics with Sword & Sworcery. Gone were days of eBoy’s happy isometric pieces and norms of traditional art, in came spaghetti legs, desolate, flat landscapes, and manga/anime influences.

5. Valenberg’s animations for Amplitude Problem (10973 notes)

@valenberg is another artist I follow closely. He represents a subgenre of pixel art I call Purple Cyberpunk. (note to self: I really need to create two things: A) a complete history of pixel art, and B) a map of pixel art styles/genres.)

6. Witchmarsh (8522 notes)

This game is just so gorgeous, I cannot not put three screenshots of it down below. @witchmarsh’s developers Inglenook make my tiny blog feel like a real press establishment since (thanks to my posts about the game that spread fairly wide) they even put me as special thanks on their website.

7. The Last Night (6491 notes)

The Last Night is easily the pixel art game I anticipate the most. I don’t care if I give up on gaming and writing about games with shooting by the time it comes out, I’m definitely giving this one a word. The images below come from the prototype for the game (well, a jam game that got so popular it became the catalyst for a full-fledged release that will start a new era of pixel art just like Sworcery did.)

8. Artist Feature: Vierbit (5497 notes)

Vierbit was the very first artist I featured in this format. The initial popularity of the post (which brings it to this list today) spawned a big series of features, some of which you’ve seen in posts above.

9. Curses ‘n Chaos (5282 notes)

The third of the three games in this top 10 goes to one of @tributegames’  signature pixel art masterworks, as illustrated by studio’s lead artist @jgsboutain. I got nothing but love for these guys, even though I completely suck at playing their games.

10. Space Invaders part of Tribute poster (5173 notes)

Well, it looks we’re ending the list on an artwork of my own. I guess if this wasn’t here, I’d have a hard time calling Retronator my art blog. Sure, the features now take more than 90% of the content, but I still like the idea that I can plot some pixels down here on my own.

When I released Tribute on tumblr, it got some views, but nothing like when I posted this small crop of it. Thanks to people over at @it8bit, it got featured on Tumblr Radar, which I’d imagine is still a big thing today. Back then, it lead to my first 1,000 followers (if I remember correctly).

This is how the Tumblr reblog machine looks visualized, on an example of recently popular post about rocks (1868 notes):

The yellow dot is my blog and all the circles tightly next to it are you guys who follow my blog and reblog directly from me. Everyone else is part of the bigger Tumblr network, further down the reblog chain. 

This example shows how a few tiny reblogs can lead to a friend of a friend of someone with thousands of followers, generating an explosion of posts 4 or 7 reblogs deep.

Nothing embodies sharing is caring more than Tumblr. Thanks for hanging around guys!

#Retronator #Tumblr #Meta

[thepennydarling]

Happy HUUUUUMP Day, ya’ll!

Preston and I have had a VERY busy…month, actually, and it’s not slowing down anytime soon! Phew! Lots of work and things to do!

This is a VERY exciting Wednesday, if you didn’t know it!

My 27th birthday is next Thursday, May 23rd! And I am excited and a little nervous!

So I’ve teamed up to giveaway over $1,000 of giveaways with some of my favorite places to shop, my most requested items, and more! We’ve got Vermont Teddy Bear Factory, ModCloth, Unique Vintage, and more!

However, this is a SUPER exciting week (starting today!) with you all!

Let’s talk about the ruuuules!

Let me just sneak the boring stuff so we can get to the goods! Check me out on Instagram here!  I also have a selling Instagram page where I sell some of my old clothes/styles so that I don’t drown in my own wardrobe. I just listed a few new things – so check that out!

HOW TO ENTER:

All giveaways will take place on Instagram between 5/16 and 5/22.

Winners will be randomly selected & all be announced on 5/24.

You follow me, like the pic, & tag two besties to enter EACH post!

Each Instagram post is a DIFFERENT giveaway and will be listed in the description!

Follow the company who is sponsoring the giveaway! (they will be tagged!)

EXTRA ENTRIES OPPORTUNITIES

Throughout the week there will be LOTS of opportunities for extra entries! Keep posted to my Instagram stories, blog posts, and Facebook for announcing opportunities!

For extra entries ANY day, like & follow All-In-One Company on Instagram and comment your fave animal emoji!

For double entries ANY day, like & follow the shops listed at the bottom of this page!

  I’m kicking off this birthday week with a totally gorgeous tea party, hosted by Bigelow Tea!

Ya’ll know how much ya girl loves tea. I love it hot, iced, and spilled! Ha! So obvi, I knew I wanted to have a birthday tea party with Bigelow! I love to put peppermint tea bags in my water bottles for a refreshing twist, sleepytime tea for relaxing, or even sharing English Breakfast (Preston’s fave!) with him!

Check out Bigelow Tea on Social Media! You can check them out on Facebook here, and you can sip on over to the ‘gram to follow Bigelow here!

Bonus:

This skirt was CUSTOM designed by the INCREDIBLE Rachel Gray of Wishes & Wardrobes to look like the style icon: MINNIE MOUSE for the Surprise Celebration in Disney! Rachel makes totally custom and Disney Inspired garments!

Check Wishes & Wardrobes out on social media!  Instagram & Etsy  (double bonus: her Insta is TOTALLY adorable!)

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse don new outfits bursting with color to commemorate 90 years of magic in celebrations across Disney Parks. Beginning in January 2019 at the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, Calif., guests are invited to Get Your Ears On – A Mickey and Minnie Celebration. The special party will feature new entertainment and decor at Disneyland park, plus limited-time food and beverage offerings and festive merchandise available throughout the resort. (Richard Harbaugh/Disneyland Resort)

  Giveaway #1: All-in-One Company

The All-in-One Company is a wonderful company & is our sponsor of the week! They make custom onesies for ALL bodies & EVERY body. One of their motto’s is that no one is different, but everyone is unique!

They prove their commitment to that motto with everything from custom fabric type (I’m more of a jersey than a fleece gal), patterns, pockets, ears, tails, and a million other perfect details! The All-in-One Company utilizes custom sizing, suggested sizing (from newborn to 5XL). Preston & I already have PERFECT onesies (that we look adorable in, BTW!).

These onesies are the most Snuggletastic delight to grace the Darling household since Charlie! They’re handmade by the The All-in-One Company team in the UK! Find out more about their story here!

FOLLOW THE ALL-IN-ONE COMPANY ON SOCIAL MEDIA

FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER YOUTUBE WEBSITE

  Giveaway #2: Harvey’s of California

For this giveaway, I’ll be gifting one of these adorable Toy Story bags featuring the Pizza Planet aliens! This Harvey’s of California signature seat belt bag is a total exclusive!

These little alien guys were my favorite characters in Toy Story growing up (and my mom’s too!), so when I saw that Harvey’s had a new line inspired by Disney’s Toy Story, I knew I HAD to have one (and Harvey’s gifted me a second one to giveaway!). Shop the rest of this line here, partner!

Check out Harvey’s on Social Media

Facebook Instagram

  Giveaway #3: $200 ModCloth Gift Card

Ya’ll know that ModCloth are MY PEOPLE! ModCloth is actually what started my fashion obsession about five years ago! If I were Citizen Kane, ModCloth would be my rosebud. Ha!

ModCloth is a size inclusive, retro-inspired, & quirky clothing company is a total gem for finding about half my wardrobe! The total unique prints (both made in house & stockists of smaller boutique labels!) has something for every body from XXS-4X (or 0-30 approx.).

Check out ModCloth on social media here:

Facebook Instagram Twitter

Giveaway #4: $150 Curvy Couture Intimates Gift Card

So I wear a 44G cup. (is that TMI? I don’t care). It’s a big freaking bra. it has provided a never-ending amount of stress in my life. My bras are ALWAYS expensive, ALWAYS in boring colors, ALWAYS marketed to ‘slim’ me, and always a little uncomfortable somewhere.

When I found Curvy Couture – all of their bras WERE UNDER $60 (a thing that has literally never once happened to me). with some even being under $50, available in a millions colors and fabric types, and with an EXTENSIVELY awesome size selection!

Bonus: I have a promo code: ABBY20 for 20% your whole order! Baller. (so theoretically you could get a new bra for like $35) Shop my dusty rose set here!

Check out Curvy Couture on Social Media: 

Facebook Twitter Instagram

  Giveaway #5: $150 Unique Vintage Giveaway

This vintage inspired & size inclusive site is a RETRO dream! Unique Vintage has sizes XS-5x (with new size charts, if you haven’t checked it out!).

Unique Vintage has their site divided into ERA! How cool is that? They go from 1920’s-1970’s inspired clothing! I have pieces from almost every era-inspired line! Bonus: not only does Unique Vintage have adorable pieces & an exclusive label, but they also have exclusive collabs with brands like Disney, Barbie, & Pantone!

Check out Unique Vintage on Social Media

Facebook Twitter Instagram

  Giveaway #6: Vermont Teddy Bear Factory Hunka Love

Ya’ll know how much I lovelovelove The Professor….aka, my SIX FOOT TEDDY BEAR! He’s such a cute and spoopy addition to our home and he came all the way from the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory to live with us!He’s so soft, comfy, and cute and definitely a conversation starter!

Vermont Teddy Bear Factory, in Burlington, Vermont, is a place that makes handcrafted bears with love and care in every stitch!

For this giveaway, I’ll be giving away a 4′ Big Hunka Love® Bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory. Your new friend will be a liiiiiiittle smaller than my bear, but equally as cuddly and fun!

Check out VTB on Social Media!

Facebook Twitter Instagram

  Giveaway #7: $150 Avenue Gift Card

Avenue is, as ya’ll know, one of my FAVE places to shop…because I like everything! I have work out gear, shoes, bras, panties, dresses, skirts, swimsuits, blouses, faux leather jackets, graphic tees and sweatshirts, jammies, and anything else you can think of!

This plus sized company has a varied selection for all different body types! Avenue goes from size 14-32 or 14-32 and is a big range for plus sized bodies!

Bonus: I wear Avenue undies literally every single day. 10/10 would recommend for a friend!

Check out Avenue on Social Media! 

Facebook Twitter Instagram

  Extra Entries!

Follow any of these AMAZING shops who sent me some awesome and lovely birthday gifts from 5/16-5/23 for extra entries for any post!

  Parks & Recs Candle Set by C & E Craft Co.

Ya’ll know how much your girl is totally a Leslie Knope type. I identify with approximately 99% of her quirks, lines, and plots! So these AMAZING-Knope-approved candles set (like Little Sebastian, JJ’s Diner, & Treat Yo’ Self) are richly scented and long burning!

I got this set from C & E Craft Company out of Pennsylvania! Check them out on Etsy here, and follow them on their socials here: Facebook & Instagram

  Recreational Pipes from MudHedz

These totally gorgeous, hand crafted, and adorable ceramic pipes from MudHedz are AMAZING. They are so perfect for some recreational needs and they are totally a show stopper! I got one for a friend a few years ago for Christmas and I’ve been obsessed ever since!

Check out MudHez here! Check out the pickle pipe here & the conch pipe here!

Follow MudHedz on Facebook & Etsy & Instagram

  Go-Go Gryffindor Glitter Candle

I fought it for years, pretending to be a Ravenclaw, but I’m totally a Gryffindor. This House Pride Candle from Geeky Girl Scents. This candle has a hazelnut coffee scent, is speckled with gold glitter, and is long lasting and delightful!

I got this set from Geeky Girl Scents! Check them out on Etsy here, Facebook, & Twitter, & Instagram!

  Check out these games from PlayMonster!

Preston & I lovelovelove board games and I was gifted a bunch of board games and now we can’t stop competing! Ha! (spoiler alert! I’m up!). Check out where to shop these here!

My faves are Utter Nonsense & The Game of Things! I am always laughing like a lunatic when I play these with our game group!

  May the odds be ever in your favor!

Thank you to all of the wonderful sponsors, companies, friends, and family that are making this possible! Be sure to check out the rules, how to get extra entries, and be following me & checking me out on social media!

  *This post is sponsored by the above listed companies with generous gifting as well! Thank you to all! However, all thoughts & opinions are my own!

SO HERE’S THE “END OF BLOG” SPIEL!

If you are at all interested in doing a collab or working with me – please feel free to check out my new Contact Me! page! I also do social media consulting and photography, so please reach out! Let’s work together!

Follow me on Instagram: @thepennydarling

Like my Facebook page here!

Follow me on Twitter here!

Subscribe for updates!

If you’d like to donate to help me keep Penny Darling going – click here!

Comment for topics you would like to see me cover! Like to help my self esteem! What do you think so far? More fashion? More lifestyle? Do you like the mix?

Thank you for all that you do. You are truly extraordinary.

Love all you wonderful ladies (and gents!) out there!

How Very,

Abby

Birthday Week Giveaway Kick-Off! Check out the rules & what I'm giving away & how to get extra entries! Happy HUUUUUMP Day, ya'll! Preston and I have had a VERY busy...month, actually, and it's not slowing down anytime soon!

[lcscuties]

Documenting my first experience at LCS in LA: Week 9 of Spring Split 2017

(writing about my experience, first impressions, + more pictures n videos/fancams n stuff inside :D click keep reading!! Note: this is a REALLY long post)

Henlo everyone, whew, it was such an exciting weekend! I want to write about my experience so here I go:

some notes before I start talking about it:

there are spoilers in this post so if you don’t want spoilers go watch the games first :3

FOR DESKTOP USERS: Whenever I try playing the videos in the post on my blog, for some reason every video after the first will not play. I don’t know if it’s because of my browser or theme or it’s just flickr, but if you want to play the video and it’s not playing for you, all you have to do is hover your mouse over the video and click on the title link of the video that’s right above my flickr username “Theberrylily8889six” right here:

[EDIT]: If you’re still having trouble playing the videos, here’s a link to my Flickr profile, you can just watch the videos from there.

also btw i know im not wearing a bra in the first pics hopefully that doesn’t bother you guys lol but I don’t really have boobs to begin with and like wearing the smallest bra just feels like putting unnecessary discomfort on myself like it’s not like I need to hold something nonexistent in place so it’s just bc i need to cover my pepperonis for society?? I wore them when I was younger and i would get like rashes and even scars from the underwire and i was like WHY AM I DOING THIS ok i can keep ranting about this but dis post is not about dat so onwards

this is quite a long post

I was supposed to go Friday but I remembered that LCS starts later on Friday, and I was taking public transport from like an hour away so I didn’t want to be dealing with that late at night in LA because it’s a little dangerous since I was alone. So unfortunately I didn’t get to meet Team Dignitas :(

Saturday

Anyways, Saturday was CLG vs IMT, and P1 vs C9.

CLG vs IMT

IMT stomped on CLG pretty hard, because Stixxay got really sick last minute, so they had to fly in Joey to sub support (he flew in at like 4 am OMG!!), and I was also surprised with the Aphro adc. I didn’t know who to cheer for as usual for most matches, I just wanted both teams to have fun rip. Also props to Joey for subbing last minute, the crowd was really kind and always cheered and clapped for his efforts haha.

Also I would like to point out that FLAMEDOCH IS REAL, the camera doesn’t capture this all the time but off camera Flame and Dardoch talk to each other the most on the team, they’re always laughing, they’re pretty touchy, and just overall super cute. Also I recorded a video of this on my snap but I’M SO ANGRY I FORGOT TO SAVE IT IT WAS SO CUTE but after game one Flame and Dardoch went to the break room holding hands and swinging their hands back and forth like a couple, I don’t think the camera caught this. TL;DR FLAMEDOCH IS VERY REAL GUYS AND IF YOU SEE THEM BEING TOUCHY ON CAMERA THEY’RE JUST AS TOUCHY ALL THE TIME OFF CAMERA TOO AO;SIFNAOIW;ENF

Then came the CLG and IMT fan meet. You have to take a picture with both teams btw. When I went up to take a group picture with IMT, Pobelter was like “Hi” and I was like “hi” back xD

After you take group photos you can talk with players and take some selfies real quick before they head back. Since I already met CLG, I didn’t take more photos with them but I talked with Darshan. Actually, at the CLG meetup I went to earlier, it was Darshan who told me exactly “Well I really hope I see you again in LA this season to support us!” and Saturday I told him “I remember you told me this exactly so I took a 13 hour train all the way down here just to support you guys!!!” lol. We had a nice conversation. Darshan is a really nice guy, and I also want to say that Aphro is too. This is the second time I met them and I’ve noticed this, they seem to be the ones to talk with their fans and really care the most.

I was also able to get a selfie with Dardoch, Pobleter, and Flame.

Dardoch to me seems like a kind person. I know he has a controversial past and I do believe he wasn’t the kindest in the past, but I really believe in “reformed” dardoch. He seems to care about his fans a lot these days. Also, when you take a picture with Dardoch he pulls you in so close a;oiewnefia;ejf....like he holds you so tight and snug and basically i was ded

Pobelter seems like a funny guy. Like...his personality is exactly like how his snapchats are LOL. Kind of like a slightly awkward yet super memey funny guy lmao.

and let me tell you about Flame man...this man is so BEAUTIFUL. Like, I’ve noticed he’s not too photogenic, but the photos really don’t do him justice. Like he’s actually EXTREMELY handsome in real life, it’s unexplainable, but he’s such a beautiful man OTL. Also Flame’s personality, he really is a “pup”! @pikaniuu always refers to Flame as a cute mans and a pup because he literally is one!! He gets distracted/immersed by little things and is a little oblivious in a cute way.

C9 vs P1

C9 also pulled the win against P1 pretty easily, well, they’re C9 so they always do pretty well. I brought the big light up C9 sign to the stage, and the camera actually caught me with it! Woooh (here’s a twitch clip of me hahaha)

Also they took a picture of me with the sign and put it on the riot flickr! wow much HD

here’s a video of me touching hands with C9 lol

Soo I got to take photos with P1 and C9 of course. I also had the giant light up C9 with me as well. When I went to go take a group photo with C9, sneaky was like ooo what’s that and he said it was really nice. Also, SNEAKY AND CONTRACTZ WERE BEING REALLY CUTE TOGETHER because Sneaky kept poking at his cheeks and Contractz was looking back at Sneaky doing the same. Idk it was really adorable, I didn’t get to capture too much of it but here’s a short video (I’ll try to gif it soon, it’s just sooo cute)

lmao I think Sneaky saw me recording them at the end xD RIP

After the group photos I was able to take a selfie with Meteos, and all of C9 except for Jensen (Jensen leaves the fan meet pretty early so I missed him).

not gonna lie Dark meteos is pretty hot irl. I also asked him to sign my C9 poster for C9. NO SHAME

Smoothie’s super nice. I told him I liked his new hair hehe. He talked with me for a while, ahh I love Smoothie so much

OKAY IMPACT’S PERSONALITY IS LITERALLY LIKE FLAME. THEY BOTH HAVE PUPPY PERSONALITIES, IT’S SO CUTE. When I asked them to sign my sign, Impact got really immersed and fiddled with my sign for a while. He was like, really excitedly, “WOW SO COOL!! , DOES IT LIGHT UP???? CAN I TURN IT ON??? *turns it on* WOWWWOWOWOOW OMG SO COOL.” And it was so fckin cute just seeing him so intrigued by my sign lol.

Contractz is a little shy but still cute as ever. Ahh it’s weird to think that he’s younger than me xD

Ray is such a QT! He didn’t talk much and is also a little shy, but nevertheless I loved Ray!

Lastly, I need to talk about Sneaky Daddy. Oh my god, he’s the one that left the biggest impression on me. He is literally so kind and friendly, he talks to you immediately when you go take a group photo with him, and if you go up to him to take a picture or sign something, he always makes a conversation with every fan no matter how shy they are. The way Sneaky talks to you, he talks like you’re already best friends. He makes you super comfortable around him, and he really seems to enjoy interacting with the fans. Also out of all the members, he’s the one who stayed behind the longest to chat with all the fans, even when it was time to go. He makes sure he gets a good conversation with everyone. My respect and fangirlism for Sneaky went up 1000%. Also not to mention his hair is fucking beautiful and graceful and his eyes are literal marbles and his skin is fair and smooth as fuck??? Sneaky is actually beautiful, like, he’s so pretty, his face is like art tbh. I’ve always noticed this but especially now I really feel like out of all the pros, Sneaky is the one who enjoys his job the most and to the fullest. I mean like he doesn’t just like winning, he enjoys learning from his mistakes and losses, he enjoys streaming, he values every one of his fans, he always seems to be a very good sport, he's extremely passionate about the work he has to put in to scrim all the time and improve. TL;DR, Sneaky is an incredibly kind-hearted, friendly, and genuine person.

They also signed my C9 Fansign! :D (lul @ Meteos’s signature on a C9 fansign)

FOX vs NV

So I only got tickets for NALCS1, but I stuck around a little longer and one of the employees said that they could let me in the other theatre to watch the last FOX vs NV that was still going on. Yay! So I got to catch the last game, which Echo Fox won. Unfortunately Team EnVY didn’t come out for pictures or the fanmeet (I really wanted to meet Apollo <3 T.T), but it’s understandable that someone wouldn’t want to go to a fanmeet when the team isn’t doing so well in the standings. Oh well. Anyways, I got to meet Echo Fox, and I took a selfie with Looper and Akaadian and I got to talk to Akaadian for a while.

I asked Akaadian who his favorite Brodie is. He was like “My favorite brodie? Hmmm...that’s a good question” and he said Zedxlol (for you guys who don’t know, he was on Team Liquid Academy with the rest of the brodies Moon and Dardoch, and they’re all really close). Then I was like, “Not Moon?” And then he was like, “Ah this is such a hard question, I love all my brodies in different ways. I guess as well it would probably be Moon, we’re really close. He’s really such a nice guy deep down.”

Looper is just so precious???? He’s so cute lmao and he’s also a shy boy >.<

Sunday

Sunday was TSM vs P1 and FLY vs TL. Sunday I also met up with @liquidhunny and her friends and it was really fun! (das us in the last photo of my photoset)

TSM vs P1

TSM played really well against P1. Oh, and let’s not forget that drink that Hauntzer spilled LOL. This matchup was really conflicting for me because in the particular matchup between TSM and P1 I’m a bigger fan of TSM and I wanted them to win, but if P1 won that mean C9 would take first place so it was like...AHHH CONFLICTING FEELINGS.

Here’s a video of the hand touching part. SRY THE CAMERA’S SMUDGY

When I took the group photo, Bjerg said hellooo to me and I was like helloo. If you look back at the group photos Sven is blinking...they took two photos and Sven was blinking in BOTH pictures OTL. Then after the group pictures, they had to leave quickly so I didn’t have much time to take selfies. I quickly found my favorite boy from TSM, Biofrost <3 and took a selfie with him. THE CAMERA ANGLE AND LIGHTING IS SO BAD BUT I DON’T CARE IT’S BIOFROST AND I’M HAPPY

Biofrost is very polite and kind of shy. He’s so cuuute >.<

And also, I would just like to say this. God DAMN Hauntzer is cute as FUCk. Jesus Christ lord have mercy. So, I’ve never been a huuuuggee fangirl of Hauntzer, just lowkey kind of liked him, but nothing crazy. BUT NOW THAT I MET HIM IRL YOU HAUNTZER FANGIRLS I FEEL YOU GUYS. I FEEL YALL. @ahriyoudoneyet I UNDERSTAND NOW. HE GOT ME SO SHOOK. WHEN HE TALKED WITH SVEN AND LAUGHED AND SMILED I WAS LEGIT ATTACKED. I WAS ATTACKED!!! HE LOOKS 1000000X BETTER IN PERSON MAN AND IT’S ALL THAT DUMB SMILE. WHEN HE SMILED I LEARNED THERE EXISTS THE BRIGHTEST SHADE OF WHITE IN ALL OF EXISTENCE RIGHT THERE IN HAUNTZER’S SMILE. CANCER WAS CURED AND WORLD HUNGER HAS ENDED. JESUS CHRIST. HE GOT LIQUIDHUNNY AND I SO SHOOK IN THAT MOMENT, I LEGIT HAD TO GRASP MY HEART AND HOLD ON TO MY LEFT BOOB FOR DEAR MERCY. TL;DR HAUNTZER’S SMILE MURDERS PEOPLE

FLY vs TL

Oh god. I just wanted both teams to have fun, as usual. I think I’m just slightly more of a Flyquest fan because I loved old C9, and also because I LOVE MOON. Fortunately after game 2 Flyquest won enough to get to playoffs, so in the 3rd game I was hoping TL would win so they would avoid relegations. Flyquest ended up winning, so I was a little happy for them, but maaan I felt so bad for Team Liquid T.T

A video of the Flyquest victory hand touching :D

lmao you can hear me saying MOOOON oh im such Moon trash

Anyways, it came time for the fan meet. And oh god, it was so painful to see TL out there. They looked incredibly depressed :(. Lourlo and Piglet seemed to be the saddest out of everyone, I really hope they cheer up ;_; Even taking the picture with them, I felt so weird because they were just so sad. You can tell they couldn’t even smile for the photos T.T

After the group photos, I didn’t want to inconvenience TL too much because of the loss, but I did just quickly ask Reignover to say hello in a video to @reignover and @yinglol, because I know how much they love Reignover xD It’s just a short little 4 second video, but hopefully it made their day.

With Flyquest, can we just take a moment to appreciate how smol Balls is? Someone gave him a flower crown to wear and he kept it on for my group photo, IM BLESSED.

After the group photos, finally, @liquidhunny and I went up to Moon. If you guys don’t know, she worked REALLY hard on a gift to give to moon which was made up of a fan art poster, a customized hat just for Moon, and I little notebook filled with notes and letters from fans. (Here’s here tumblr post about her gift)

And here is her final poster design:

ISN’T IT SO GOOD?!?! She printed me another copy of the poster THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHH

Anyways, we went up to Moon and she told him about the presents and gave it to him. Moon said it was so awesome, and then Hunny asked “Can I take a selfie with you?” and then Moon was like, “Can I hug you?” AND SHE WAS SHOOK AND I WAS SHOOK FOR HER!!! Moon hugged her, and I was so happy for her, and then Moon hugged me and i was shOOK like A;OWFEIAEWF I DONT DESERVE THIS BUT THANK YOU. You’re actually not supposed to hug the fans during the fan meet, but we didn’t even ask to hug him, HE asked Hunny if he could hug her and also hugged me!!! Ahh this was all so touching, and he’s such a nice guy.

Moon posing with Hunny’s hat gift :D

AINT DIS PHOTO SO CUTE Moon was so touched and it was overall just a super happy moment.

Moon actually thanked Hunny on twitter! AAAaaaaaahhhh

I also asked to take a selfie with moon:

I told Moon that he was like my FAAAVORITEE and I love his jungling and everything. Ahh. And HIS EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ok I say this about like every pro but seriously they’re like green-hazel and just so pretty...??? That was the last pro interaction I had and it was just so great to end the day meeting my favorite player.

At the end of the event, we all took a group picture with the backgrop.

League/LCS brings people together and I’m so happy about that :D

Final Thoughts:

Overall, I had sooo much fun. It was super nice meeting @liquidhunny and all the pros.

One thing that I want to state is that: I expected that meeting all the pros would be very...perfect and happy? Idk how to explain it much, but, the reality is, pros are very, very human. Unfortunately, the losing team can get very sad, and it’s heartbreaking to see them in that state. But that’s the way that the pro scene works. Also, meeting these people in real life, you could really tell which people care about their fans a lot and are just really warm, kind, friendly, and genuine people on the inside (like I mentioned that I saw that Sneaky is like this, as well as many others). I don’t want to say or judge that the people that didn’t appear as warm as Sneaky or interact with fans much are bad people, because like I said, pros are very human and you’ll never know if they could just be having a bad day or are really down after a loss.

Also, I’m lowkey facing withdrawal LOL especially Biofrost withdrawal currently bc he was so adorable and honestly I should have looked at him more on stage >///<

Wowow what a long post and a fun weekend! I actually have the BTS concert next weekend MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS IT’S ALREADY BEEN DESTROYED OVER THE WEEKEND AND I’M NOT PREPARED!! AHHH!!

Thanks you guys for reading this and I hope you all can see them play in person one day!

#me #thoughts #league of legends #league #lcs #na lcs #clg #counter logic gaming #imt #immortals #cloud 9 #c9 #p1 #phoenix1 #tsm #team solomid #tl #team liquid #flyquest #fly #esports #lol esports #echo fox #fox #lol