#Praying some poor motherfucker reads these

[russelross68]

fbacc oc reweal 🥹

First pic I did of her!

hwer name is Delaney sladkiy

She's a Russian transfer student

And is mainly a loner who only wants to just do good in school

and is attention starved but is in denial of that

Still workin' oh her so here she is for now.

If ya wanna do fanart, ideas, or ships that aren't creepy as hell you can feel free too!

I'll come out with more info on her in the near future

#Delaney sladkiy #oc introduction #Fanboy and chum chum oc #Bro might be a fan of Sigmund but doesn't show it due to viewing it was embarrassing or whatever #Bro might be awkward as he'll #2nd language english #1st language russian #Type of mothefucker to wear knee thigh platforms #Plays mawio games #Diehard mario fan ig #I'm just giving out more info about her than the actual post 😔 #Russian accent #Owns barbies #Plays royal high #She was first made in 2020! 😇 #Ig her height is like an inch shorter than kyle #German accent somewhat attractive to her #Praying some poor motherfucker reads these #Ima shut th up now #Sigmund hot tho

[no-thoughts-only-soup]

To Secure/Risk It All

Chapter 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

————

The 30 minutes he had given Christian was meant to give him time to walk to the archives, chat up the girl at the desk and generally make himself less suspicious. It worked in all honesty better than he thought. The girl seemed flustered as she responded to his small talk, stumbling over her words as her fingers kept playing with her hair.

“Code Purple in D-Class area, all C-Class workers are to head to the D-Cells. I repeat, Code Purple—“

Christian, I don’t know what the hell you did, but god bless you, you sly motherfucker.

The girl jumped from her seat, wide eyed. “O-oh no, I’m C-Class, b-but I can’t just—“

Her eyes glanced at Curt, and Curt took his chance.

“Girl, I’m B-Class, so no worries. I’ll keep guard until you’re back.”

She smiled relieved at him. “T-thank you! I, uh, uh, I-I’ll be sure t-to make it up to you!”

100% pure rizz, baby! Let’s see the others make fun of me now!

With a flustered look, she dashed out of the room. Curt chuckled to himself, and walked over to her desk. He found the keys pretty easily, and headed over to a closed off section.

Now would come the hard part. He had to find what he was looking for before the girl or anyone came back.

He opened the door, walking into a place that was forbidden to him. Rows up rows upon rows of cabinets lined the walls, numbered from 0001 to 9999.

…Fuck, this is gonna be harder than I thought.

He almost started at 0001 when he remembered that while it wasn’t precise, the Foundation usually numbered from first to latest. Which meant he’d have more luck starting from 9999.

Thankfully, there was a ladder nearby, and with effort, he easily moved it to reach the upper cabinets. At the top, he opened the first drawer to find it mostly empty. The few folders it did have wasn’t what he was looking for. He took a step down, and looked into the next.

Curt flickered through folders upon folders, keeping one ear alert for any sounds. If he was caught now… no, he didn’t want to think about it. SCPs were worse than death. So he kept looking, praying to whatever god was out there that—

He stopped. One folder… yes, this was the one. It had to be. He picked it up, hand on the cover.

But he hesitated. If he read this… there’d be no going back. Everything he had known would be flipped on its head. It frightened him. Was he really prepared to know? Was he’d read could be so much more disturbing. Ignorance was bliss, right?

…No. He had come this far. He couldn’t cower now.

And he flipped it open.

And the first line he read confirmed his worst fears. He took a sharp breath, reading the first few words over and over, until he managed to force himself to keep reading. God, how in the hell did he not see it before? Of course this was it. This explained everything.

It was the first time he both regretted and felt happy to read something.

And god, the more he read, the more it disturbed him. It answered every question he had and more, cursed him with more knowledge than he really wanted. And yet he kept reading, because he had to. He had to know everything.

He wasn’t prepared for what he read next.

“No… no, no, no…”

But it was there, clear as day. Curt was actually starting to feel sick, leaning against the ladder in some poor attempt to ground himself, forcing himself to keep reading and reading and—

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Oh shit. Those were footsteps.

In blind hurry and panic, he ripped out the page he was reading and stuffed it in his coat, simultaneously putting the folder back and hurriedly closing the drawer. Going down the steps safety would take too much time, so he placed his feet on the sides of the ladder and slid down. He reached the door of the closed off section just as the door to the archives opened. The desk girl walked in, surprised to see him coming out.

“Umm, are you… allowed to be there…?” She timidly asked.

Ok, just play it cool Curt.

“Oh, I noticed the door was open, so I checked if anyone had come in just in case.” He quickly explained, trying his damn hardest to give her a reassuring grin.

She immediately averted her eyes again, blush on her cheeks, and Curt internally cheered.

LET’S GOOOOOOO!

It, however, was immediately shot down when he heard another voice.

“Oh, you did?”

He recognized the voice, and it wasn’t a positive thing. In fact, it turned his blood to ice. Because as he looked to the archives’ doors, he saw Snee standing in the opening.

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY HIM OF ALL PEOPLE!?

Trying not to show how terrified he was, Curt swallowed and nodded. “Yes sir. It would be troublesome if someone without the right clearance got into confidential information. I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary though.”

“Good.” Snee nodded.

Hoping he bought the lie, Curt walked towards the door, trying to play it cool.

“Sir, if you don’t mind, I’ll be heading back to my station to continue working on my report about the SCP-173 incident.”

Snee’s stony expression didn’t change. Curt wavered, but then stepped forward and moved past Snee. He had to get out. He had to get out now.

A hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him back.

For a second, Curt almost forgot to breathe as he looked into the cold eyes of Snee.

“And why were you in the archives to begin with?”

Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK

“I-I actually hoped you’d be here sir. B-because I wanted permission to be more informed about certain SCPs. My… last task ended up with a containment breach, which ended in a casualty in my assigned squad. I went here to gather more information about the SCPs I have clearance to, and to ask you if I could perhaps have more prior information if my next assignment involves a violent SCP again.”

…Good god, how’d he come up with a lie like that?

Snee raised an eyebrow. Curt swallowed away some spit, praying he hadn’t just fucked himself over.

“I know what it sounds like sir, but I haven’t looked at anything. I swear. I was tempted, sure, but I am loyal to you and the Foundation.”

Please buy it please it please buy it

“Tell me Richy.” He said, a smile curling on his lips. “Is that truly why you were in there?”

Curt tried ignoring the screams of panic in his head. “Y-yes sir.”

Snee locked eyes with him for what felt like eternity. Though every second felt like an hour for him, as it took every bit of self-control not to break down in panic. He couldn’t afford to.

And finally, Snee closed his eyes. “Good to hear.” He said. “I wouldn’t want for you to be breaking rules by seeing information you do not have the clearance for.”

He looked at Curt again, much differently now. Curt wasn’t sure if he liked this look better. It was… well, condescending was the best word for it.

“I have taken a liking to you, Curtis Richy. I mean it when I say I hope we can work together in the future. To work together, one must be trusting and loyal to the other. You have shown loyalty to the Foundation and you are willing to work hard, if your determination to improve by gathering knowledge is anything to go by.”

His grip on Curt’s wrist slackened, and Curt pulled back, barely showing an exhale of relief. But it was short lived, as he yelped when Snee grabbed his tie, pulling him closer and forcing to meet his eyes.

“But true loyalty requires obedience. I do hope you keep that in mind, especially in regards to making choices. And I pray you make the right ones.”

Curt nearly trembled with fear as he slowly nodded. “Y-Yes sir.” He managed to get out, feeling both like a broken record and someone who had nearly escaped death’s grasp.

Snee stared at him for another long second and then let go. Curt stumbled back, very quickly regaining his stance. With a short nod from Snee, he was dismissed and he almost booked it before realizing it would make him more suspicious. Instead, he straightened his back and walked away, rounding two corners before he finally gave into his instincts.

And he ran, the underlying warning fresh in his head. Snee had said all this for a reason. If he decided to escape or relay his newfound knowledge to his friends, they’d all be killed. If he played nice, he’d survive.

By the time he had gotten back to his workstation, it was already late, and the day shift clocked out to make room for the night shift. And he almost welcomed it, as he felt exhausted.

Some fellow B-Class workers found him and pretty much dragged him away via social norms and conversation. But try as he might’ve, he felt plagued by the various thoughts in his head. Escape or don’t escape. Tell them or don’t tell them. Obey or disobey Snee. Risk it or don’t risk it.

Tomorrow, he had to make his choice.

————

#recreyo #curtrichy #oc #scp foundation #crossover #fanfiction #my writing #scp recreyo

[booasaur]

DO NOT read until you finish Warrior episode 3

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NELLIE DIDN’T DIE!!!

But the vineyard got attacked 😭 They had some really cute and romantic moments! Lai and her two moms were adorable! But there were major red flags everywhere! As soon as Ah Toy told Ah Sahm she could imagine a future with Nellie, my anxiety skyrocketed. The vineyard was their safe space to be together, until Douglas Dickhead barged in. He’s still salty that he got rejected by Nellie, a bonafide lesbian. Nellie telling him their land isn’t for sale was so good! God, that fight was so fucking brutal! We got to see Shotgun Nellie in action! Ah Toy’s shoulder still not healed and they almost got her. That motherfucker with the whip! The girls saving Nellie and just massacring that one guy. Lai being badass too. But in the end, everything they’ve built is destroyed. I hope and pray they can get through this somehow.

And another anon:

Don't know if you've watched the first three episodes of Warrior yet? I know some of the write-ups for the season said Ah Toy gets revenge? Anyway, I'm fully behind whatever revenge she gets after what happened in ep. 3.

I finally finished the third ep! Oh my goodness... Their poor idyllic vineyard!

Okay, on the one hand, Nellie DID live and because this DOES seem the huge precipitating event for the rest of Ah Toy's season, if she survived this, it makes me more confident that she'll survive the rest of what's to come.

On the other hand, oof, while I'd rather take something like this a million times over the death of Nellie or Lai, because of the very reason that we now get 7 eps of actual plot and screentime and development to fix this, but ohhh, in a way, it did kill so much anyway. Their hope and peace and happiness, the chance of an innocent life for Lai, and I mean, it seems to have killed a bunch of women! And also, just, knowing they'll never fully be free, even if somehow they were able to rebuild all this, they'd just have to be on guard all the time.

And I doubt they will rebuild it, any time soon, anyway. It's heartbreaking that Ah Toy's giving in to moving out to Sonoma to be with Nellie was always a bit cautious and carrying a sense of being too good to be true and well, it was.

That fight was definitely brutal, though, and my girl immediately picking up the sword she was hesitant to back in Chinatown. I can't wait till she gets even! Just hope everyone else can survive that.

#replies #femslash related stuff #Anonymous #sent on 20230629 #5 #warrior max #warrior cinemax #warrior spoilers #warrior 3x03 #ah toy x nellie

[ilovevillains]

Insides Kisaki's brain 🧠

WARNING: THE MUSIC VIDEOS MIGHT HAVE FLASH LIGHT EFFECTS.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SEXUAL THEMES, TOXIC THOUGHTS, STALKING.

Album: Tokyo Revengers Playlist

PRELUDE:

The day has come, here is the first playlist of my Tokyo Revengers playlist!

Kisaki, Kisaki, Kisaki... my king, my love... I'm not forgiving you, I love you, but I am not forgiving you.

I'm going to keep this intro short, because the long paragraph is reserve for the outro.

🧠 Now That I'm Wanting More, Koko

I know I want you I’m feeling obsessed It’s like in my mind I am being possessed

🧠 Every Breathe You Take, Chase Holfelder (cover)

Oh, can't you see You belong to me? How my poor heart aches With every step you take

🧠 eat u alive, Marian Hill

I been looking on, I been biding my time You been looking strong with a glint in your eye Everybody knows if I'm given the night I might eat you alive, I might eat you alive, yeah

🧠 Crystaleyes, AViVA

And when I wake into this dream I’m falling in and out of time Falling under, falling over Floating on the sky You face it when you’re going down Our planets won’t align

🧠 Unsmiling, Aunty Social

Knowing I could be the one To give you everything Is the issue Knowing I could give you shelter Just makes you feel beneath Someone’s the fool I—

🧠 Nightfall, Black Lilys

There you go in this crowd Never been satisfied There you dream days and nights Of the lover you'll never have Please tell me why?

🧠 Coming for You, Nuela Charles

I am coming for you So watch what you do I intend to be cruel to you and you Should watch what you do When my hands are on you 'Cause I'm, coming for you (and you and you and you

🧠 Paradise, The Neighbourhood

Sensations don't mean anything If I can't just have everything Some days I think I'll run away But what would I even do if I made it? I just keep on fading 'cause I never feel enough, it never fills me up I'm climbin' up a giant rock, I'll never reach the top But I can't stop, I can't stop, so

🧠 I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE, Måneskin

And I'm a killer Who's searching for redemption I'm a motherfucking monster Who's searching for redemption

🧠 Pray, JRY feat. Rooty

Forget the words I'm saying I know that I've been cruel I pray for peace Tell me why don't you

OUTRO

Now it's the moment of the truth. Why do I love Kisaki? Kisaki is one intriguing character for me. I'm part of the group that believes he deserved a better development, but part of me is grateful he didn't have other motives, because I believe he could pull a Profesor Moriarty and Kisaki would have been unstoppable.

Another reason why I love Kisaki (and other villains) is that they are realistic. In the manga, Kisaki knew who he was and what was his roll in the live [trama] of the world he was living. When I read that specific panel I could not stop myself from loving him more. Even though his reason weren't good, his attitude of keep going on to achieve his goals it's what I really love and adore of him (and Takemitchy and other characters, my other kings, I love them too). I guess that's how I love my kings: determine to achieve their goals ♥.

Remember that next week we have Hanma's playlist... stay tuned for the playlists! Take care and keep fighting for that dream (or maybe those dreams) ♥

-Villain Lover🖤

#kisaki tetta #kisaki tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers #kisaki x reader #tokyo manji gang #tenjiku gang

[lockedstuck]

moving your mouth to pull out all your miracles

April 2021 - Gamzee Makara

You don’t like the way your thoughts proceed on halo, helldog, or haloperidol, or whatever Karbro calls it. After you take it, the world feels blunt, impersonal, and grayscale, like you’re a motherfucking puppet with a head full of straw. Your brother used to love a poem about that, about some guys with straw heads, but mostly about the world ending.

Kurloz liked a lot of motherfucking things before he did nine months in Rikers for cocaine distribution. Originally it was only supposed to be six months, but he got into a fight and got three months added on. When he got out, he was thoughtful and quiet, even a word of acknowledgment seemingly beyond him. You’ll be damned if that ever happens to you, if you let the system hollow you out until you can’t express the simplest serendipity.

Right now you’re sketching your friends, quick sketches with the charcoal set Dr. Levin brought you. One of Karkat having a rare smile for June, one of Sollux and Roxy talking about programming, one of Dr. V addressing the group about healthy coping mechanisms, and one of Porrim braiding Calliope’s hair. You always feel more like yourself when you’re sketching or painting. Fewer thoughts in your head to get jangle-tangled together and create nonsense. You can keep your miracles straight this way.

You’re cool. You’re easy. You’re loose. No snapped strings, heads full of straw, or blasphemies here, no motherfucking way. The ativan caravan marches through your head, sings your sharp edges to sleep. Nurse Dolores knows what’s up, she only makes you take the medications you want to take. Your cognition flies free, like birds in a breeze, a calm going on between your ears.

Roxy turns and grins at you, her face pale as the moon against her dark hoodie and darker lipstick. She has a smile all her own, a knowing smile like the two of you are in on the greatest secret in the world. You wish you knew precisely what that was about, but everyone has their own internal workings. You can’t know and fix everything about everyone all the time. That’s what you were trying to explain to Sollux last night.

He’s a good guy, but he takes too much on. Same for Karkat. They take on everyone’s issues and make them their own. Only the mirthful messiahs should be able to do so much; humans like trying that hard is a minor sacrilege. If the pair of them would just stick to themselves, maybe they wouldn’t be so sick. You’ll fold more flowers for them - paper flowers that banish repetitive, ruminating thoughts.

You like Roxy a lot, though. She dances through each emotion in its totality, riding the waves of her feelings without fear. Okay, maybe not fearlessly, but with more abandon than you would expect. When she looks at you, you feel warmth all the way to your core, the way you are when you’re about to fall asleep all curled up in your sheets.

Speaking of sleep, Dr. V says that if you keep sleeping through the night, and keep what he calls “disruptive outbursts” about the Dark Carnival to a minimum, maybe you’ll get discharged in a couple of weeks. You’re not exactly in any rush to go home. Home means having to fend for yourself, and fewer friends to keep you in good spirits. Besides, Kurloz is home, and for all that he may be your brother, he gives off bad motherfucking vibes. You wish he’d be easy, like old times, but those days are a long way off.

You remember when you used to be able to relax at home. Relax, smoke a joint, sell an eighth or two, and have dinner without having to fend off your brother’s brooding.

Karkat takes the seat next to you, and you clap him on the back. Physical contact may be discouraged here, but there’re no narcs around to encourage law and order at the moment. You think a support team got dispatched to address Feferi wandering around with no clothes on again.

“What’s up?” Karkat asks.

He nevertheless looks preoccupied and far away. That’s unfortunate.

You take another folded flower out of your pocket and hand it to him.

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember; and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts,” you recall from a play you had to read in AP English a couple years ago. You can’t exactly remember what the play’s about, but stray lines here and there stick out to you like a sore thumb. Except neither of your actual thumbs are sore.

“That’s from Hamlet, isn’t it?” Karkat asks, shaking his head at you. “What’re you, the bard of 3 East?”

Now you’re not certain about that, but you’ll take it.

“Someone’s gotta be, ain’t they? I got more poetry if you want it.”

Karkat sighs. “Yeah, lay it on me, Makara. Dr. Vandayar told me I’m not getting discharged next week so I’m not feeling great at the moment.”

Poor Karbro looks like he’s full of thunderstorms. Maybe a calm vista will quiet him down. You pull a few lines of poetry free from your memory.

“I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach... I have heard the mermaids singing each to each... I do not think that they will sing to me.”

“Go on,” Karkat says, looking all at once pensive and a little sad.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves... Combing the white hair of the waves blown back... When the wind blows the water white and black,” you recite. Now, Roxy, Calliope, and Porrim have stopped to listen to you. You go on, establishing a proper rhythm.

“We have lingered in the chambers of the sea... by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown... ‘till human voices wake us, and we drown.” When no one says anything, you interject, “That’s the end of the fuckin’ poem, y’all.”

“It’s beautiful,” Porrim whispers. “Did you write that?”

You shake your head in the negative. “Naw, that’s some other motherfucker’s ideas outta my mouth. I wrote a couple of my own lines last night if you wanna hear ‘em, though.”

“Sure,” Calliope says, smiling and clapping her hands once.

“My muse distills my melancholy, pins it to the corkboard with a tack. She presses down upon the pigments, bleeds my blues into the boldest black.”

Even Karkat looks surprised. He narrows his eyes at you.

“If you don’t go study art or literature, or something along that line, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Ain’t no need to resort to murder, brother,” you reply. “And while I’d like to go sit in a motherfucking college somewhere, I ain’t got shit for tuition.”

“If I have to take up a goddamn collection, I am sending your ass to college. Tout-suite.”

You guess now is not the time to inform him that you straight up flunked outta college after you kept forgetting to go to class. You sat in the grass memorizing poetry and sketching the first dandelions of March, which got in the way of your learning anything or taking your exams, or any of the shit college students are supposed to do. You didn’t mean to forget, but you’ve never been great at any routine shit.

And you’ve always had a knack for going where your thoughts take you. When you were a kid, you would leave the house and walk up and down the streets of Harlem unattended. Your grandmother used to read you the riot act for doing something so reckless and nonsensical. Later, during your hospitalizations, you learned that the way your thoughts stuttered and tangled was called schizophrenia, and doctors medicated you accordingly. They called your prophecies delusion, and you beg(ged) to differ.

The medications ground your thought process to a stuttering halt. You hated it. You hated being cut off from yourself. So you stopped taking your meds. And here you are again, with your strange thoughts and remembrances.

“Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio,” Karkat murmurs.

You grin at him. He understands more than he lets on.

June winks at you, and then walks away to the women’s side of the unit, presumably to call her father. She calls him every day at 8 am and 3 pm, like clockwork. Karkat gazes at her as she walks away, the back of her short dress fluttering behind her.

“June looks nice today,” you say to him.

 He stops staring and glances at you for a moment.

“Yeah, um, she looks nice every day,” he replies. “Not that I make it my business to notice.”

You point to the delicate paper flower he has in his hand. “Sometimes the most miraculous thing you can fuckin’ do is give another person a taste of serendipity.”

Roxy smiles her cheshire cat smile from her seat by the television.

“That’s right, Crabby. Dontcha think June deserves her very own miracle?”

Karkat reddens, looks at the flower in his hand, and takes off for the women’s side.

“Hey, Egbert!” he shouts. “I have something for you.”

By the time you see June again, she’s wearing the small red flower in her hair. Roxy gives you a satisfied little nod, then asks you if you’d like her to put your hair in braids.

“I’m not as good as Pomary with hair, but I’m alright, I guess. Your hair looks like some birds took up residence in it, dude.”

“Why, thank you,” you reply. You take a seat at her feet, after she grabs her comb, brush, hair grease, and spray bottle out of sharps.

She’s right. She’s not a thing like Pomary when it comes to braiding. You’re used to the gentle motions of Porrim’s hands as she manipulates flowers into your hair, but Roxy tugs great fistfuls of your hair into twists. It feels nice, like she’s tethering you to the present, to the here and now.

You tell her that, thank her for bringing you back, and she blushes crimson.

“Aw, I’m not tryna do all of that,” she responds. “Just tryna work through my anxiety. Dolores gave me an ativan an hour ago, and I don’t feel it yet.”

Roxy bends low, and plants a kiss on your forehead, right where your skin meets your greasepaint. Her lips are the softest thing you’ve ever felt.

She keeps braiding, manipulating your hair into cornrows. With Roxy near you, you don’t necessarily have to be a prophet or an apostate of the mirthful messiahs. You don’t have to deliver special messages to special people. You can just be Gamzee Motherfucking Makara, doing you as per usual.

#gamroxy #junekat

[maybeimamuppet]

34, 27, 18, 5

And sorry if you got like five "poor-praying-carrie followed you!" notifications because every time I tried to click the ask thingy I accidentally unfollowed you instead

thanks buddy!!

34, copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of: ok it’s really long but

After a while of chasing each other around and splashing waves at one another, the sun finally dips fully below the horizon and the water temperature plunges. Cady calls a truce, and Janis comes to scoop her up when she sees her shivering. Cady wraps her legs around Janis’ middle, brushing her wet two-toned hair away from her face as she wraps her arms around her neck and smiles widely at her.

Janis holds her closer so Cady can get what’s left of her body heat, and starts moving them around a bit to get her used to the temperature shift. Cady tucks her face against Janis’ neck, kissing lightly at her pulse point and sighing happily.

“I love you so much, Janis,” She says, sounding almost drunk on her contentment. Daffodil yellow strokes through Janis’ eyes.

“I love you too, Cady,” Janis answers, using the correct pronunciation of her name to show how serious she is. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Damian gives them a suspicious look when they show up at the back door dripping wet, Cady shivering, and the both of them standing particularly close to one another. Janis just says they fell in the lake, but the way Damian looks at her as he goes to fetch some towels tells her he knows it’s not true.

Janis doesn’t care. That moment was for her and Cady alone.

i think that’s probably still my fav fic i’ve done or at least very high up there, and that was my favorite scene :)

27, what’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? - all of them, in my opinion, i love every comment i get. but if i had to pick i’ve gotten a few lovely compliments from some of the writers i really look up to and ones who inspired me to begin in the first place, and that always gives me some warm fuzzies <3

18, wildest fic you’ve ever written- that i’ve published, probably either “queen of hearts” or whatever the fuck i wound up calling it or “i see stars”. the first one because it was nearly 30k words and i wrote it in a little more than a week, and the latter just because of the concept. and also because it nearly put me in my grave that bitch was so hard to put together.

that i haven’t and will probably not publish-i wrote the most wild, kinky explicit smut fic that was half cadina and half a poly situation between cady, regina and janis on a dare from an irl. i don’t know why i haven’t deleted it yet but that probably will not ever see the light of day.

5, fic youre most proud of?- oh lordy ummmm… i’m really proud of “the rainbow in you” and “i see stars” because i think those ideas were very original and interesting and they were fun but kind of tricky to write, and again the royalty au one because it was so motherfucking long and took me a lot of work. but i’m very proud of all of them (except for the first three or so. got bored and re-read a few last night and what the fuck why did you guys read those??? they’re awful)

#thanks friend!! #also don’t worry i only got one notif lol it’s all good #swear tw #long post sorry folks #i got carried away

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame  /  don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''thoughts & prayers" by motionless in white

[onisiondrama]

(Video summaries)

Onision Sets The Record Straight - Speaks July 4, 2020

I want to note that he’s been saying his new videos aren’t monetized, but he played two of his songs in this video, so the video was claimed by his music publisher on behalf of him. So, he is making money off he the video. I don’t think this was an accident. He knows the copyright claiming system on Youtube very well. I’m very sure this overrides his “ads go to charity.”

- Starts the live upset he was talking for a while and he wasn’t live the whole time. - He reads a tweet about someone saying Shiloh accusing Nicholas Deorio. Says Shiloh is crazy. Says he made a song about how she wouldn’t stop lying. (He plays the song and sings along at some parts.) - He thanks someone for donating to Feed America. - He says one of Shiloh’s ex made a video about how he ended up in jail because of her bullshit, but he got out because he showed a text where she said he was going to put a knife in his chest. Says that’s scary violent shit. Says he calls the cops frequently on her. - He made the music video after his own fans told him she was cheating. She was bragging about fucking a guy on Facebook. - (Sings more of his song.) Says she would threaten to kill herself every time he broke up with her and she introduced him to her split personality Aliana. - Says he thought he could ignore mental illness and people with mental illness deserve a chance just like everyone else, but you’re not a doctor and love can’t overcome all. - He said he tried to tell a story about Shiloh to Nicholas DeOrio and he kicked him. He pretends to be a hero but he’s not. Says you have to watch out for people who pretend to be the hero because they wind up being villains. They do things for them self and not because they care about people. Like Hansen, Shiloh, Sarah, Edwin, etc. Says this is why you see go fund me’s and DeOrio collecting donations and adsense. They all pretend to be heroes but they’re all getting paid. - Says this stream is for charity and he’s not collecting a paycheck from this shit. He says it’s set up for ads and donations go to charity. That’s how you know you can trust him and know he’s not full of shit.

( I want stop right here and point out he played two of his songs during this stream. Because of this, the video was claimed by his music publisher on behalf of him. Usually when someone or an entity claims a video, they get full control over the monetization of the video. I’m sure this overrides his “ads go to charity” and he knew this when he played his songs during the stream.

While he was streaming, I would guess that the donations and any ads that played probably went to the charity, but after the video was processed and claimed, I believe any ads from that point on will go to the music publisher and Onision will get his 80% cut of the ad revenue.

He also played the other version of the Banana Song in his previous charity livestream as an intro song, but I don’t think he played it long enough for it to get claimed. On this stream, he played it longer so it worked. I don’t remember him ever playing intro songs on a stream before this. In this video, he complained he didn’t know he wasn’t streaming and interrupted a conversation he was having with his discord to play the intro song. After the song, the continued their conversation. I believe he purposefully got the streams claimed. )

- Tells viewers to tells Hansen and DeOrio to donate all the money they made off the drama to charity and says they won’t because they’re greedy motherfuckers. He says he’s trying to manipulate them into donating to charity by putting them between a rock and a hard place. Either they prove he’s right by not donating, or they donate. - He laughs about the confused man in the background of his music video. - Says keemstar doesn’t pretend to give a shit, unlike the “bitch-ass motherfuckers” repzion, edwin, hansen who pretend to give a shit. He calls them dochey-ass white bitch-boys, white knights and asks why they are all white. Keemstar is honest and brags about how much money he makes off this drama. - James says he chose the charity Feeding America because he was a poor kid. Says his mom was single, his dad was a child molester, he temporarily had a stepdad but his mom apparently caught him making them pray “I love you Satan” to a TV because he had a problem with TV. Says his stepdad was also a hardcore pot head and it was illegal at the time. Says you can’t debate hunger, that’s why he chose the charity. Says he could donate to RAINN, but that would look like he’s trying to compensate for something.  - Says he’ll collect ads on Social Repose. (I’m guessing he claimed SR’s recent Onision’s Patreon video?) - Says DeOrio was demonizing Hansen, but DeOrio was making money off it. Says DeOrio said they can’t talk about Shiloh or Sarah because he didn’t want to make profit off of them or he didn’t want to bring attention to them, he doesn’t remember which one. Says they aren’t even real victims and they are collecting money. Calls DeOrio dumb ass, white knight, dumb shit. - Says John Swan recorded the pierce county police, but he won’t play it because he doesn’t know if John Swan legally recorded them. Says it’s the county saying there is no investigation on him, says Hansen backpedaled and said there’s a process. Says he’s not a real journalist because he just went in a room and talked to predators. Says there’s articles about Hansen getting involved with an intern who was 13 years younger than him. - He plays a clip from his debate with the Newsweek guy. Says this guy sided with his father. Says his sisters were subjected to his father’s disgusting behavior, according to other people. Says the Newsweek guy was fired. All your heroes are dying right in front of you. He told you guys these guys were phonies. - Says Repzion raised $20,000 for legal fees, but he kept the money and bought a Gucci bag. Says that’s fraud. [definition of fraud on screen] Says the wetlands aren’t destroyed, they look awesome. Repzion made money saying James went to court for the wetlands. but he never went to court. Repzion bragged about how he payed off his welding class with the wetlands video money. Says Repzion also tweeted a photo with his girlfriend. They went to Victoria’s Secret and his girlfriend said “thanks for the panties Onision.” Says if he made a hate video about Andy Biersack, then bought a dildo with it, then tweeted about it, that means he’s going to be thinking about Andy whenever he uses it. Says that means whenever Repzion’s girlfriend wears these panties she’s going to think about Onision. He says he thinks Repzion wanted to be cucked. Says allegedly they broke up and she says she was 12 when they first talked and he told her to come back when you’re 18. - Says you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Says that’s because if you pretend to be a white knight and act like you’re better than everyone else, you wind up like Repzion, Hansen, and himself. Says you know he’s honest because he was honest about where the money is going (lol) and because he’s also willing to be critical of himself. - James says when he rejects people he’s also mean about it. He does it in a mean way. Says when someone is rejected in real life, they tell people that person was a piece of shit because that’s how they deal with it. Says if Shane rejected you, you would go online and say you were traumatized and call him a predator because you can’t handle rejection. - (He spends the resp of the stream chatting with his Discord. He mostly repeats himself. I’ll only write new info.) - He says the pretend victims said they aren’t going to be on the investigation show. Says this is because they don’t want to be found out to be fake victims. - Says if the video is monetized after the stream, the adsense money will go to charity. - Someone asks what “Techno Pornstar” mean. He says that means he makes electronic music and he makes porn.

deleted my account - Jul 8, 2020, Speaks 

Re-upload of his twitter video announcing his free Only Fans account had to be removed. He never announced his free account to Youtube so idk why he uploaded the update video there.

[secretkingdomjellyfish]

Another day, another penny...

Here we are again. Life has become even harder with COVID doing the rounds and offing every poor sod and his granny. I actually thought I had already witnessed or experienced the worst of what humanity had to offer but no, life and society continued to surprise me. From the hypocritical ‘clap for our carers’ movement (The same people who clapped where the same people in the supermarket the next day sneezing on your eyeballs - two meter rule, people!!) to our world leaders and celebrities telling the world ‘we are all in it together’ whilst they lounged in their 20 room mansions. It was all a bit...shallow. Every month is like opening the world’s shittiest advent calender only rather than getting a nice little piece of chocolate behind each window, we get some new unseen horror unleashed on us.

Then came the BLM riots. Another black man was killed by corrupt cops who gave absolutely zero fucks about him or anyone else. People were, entirely and justifiably, angry and the protests began but then something else happened. I had already seen this phenomenon slowly creeping it’s way in with COVID making the rounds but I just put it down to me being bitter and angry at life, therefore my perception of people (I had already set the bar WAAAAAY low) was skewed.

I saw people take advantage of an entire society’s grief. I saw the vultures circle to loot and hate or to share their idiologies of hate and pain and recruit more angry, tired teenagers to do their twisted bidding.

I saw both extremes of the coin take advantage of the situation to spread that same hate and lash out at the other side. ‘Don’t look at us, look at what the other side are doing!’ I heard them cry. ‘The people protesting are just violent thugs, look at them causing all this damage, how else are the police meant to act?!’. ‘It’s not us, we are just so tired of the police taking advantage of us and I REALLY need these new Nikes’.

But then there were the people in the middle. The people who just wanted real change. The people who just wanted the hate, the pain and the injustice to stop. Those people marched and protested and wanted their voices heard. Who were seeing what I and many others were seeing and wanted to restore the balance. Unfortunately they were quickly drowned out by the screeching of the two extremes and it became a game of ‘who could sling the most mud to deflect from their own actions’.

To say I’m sickened is an understatement. I’m embarrassed and I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed to even call myself a human being. My heart is utterly breaking at how broken we really are, how much trauma has been ignored and how easily we are influenced by shiny, new things. How the media continually drives us, like the herd animals we are, to consume, to buy, to hate others that are different to us. To make us think that our little tribe, family, race are the best and everyone else is wrong.

Do me a favour. Find a story. Any major story and then go read/watch/listen to several different news outlets (on both sides of the coin - you know who they are) and see how they report it. I can assure you, it will be like watching a different story altogether. Don’t get me wrong, they all have the very basic facts but they simply cater to their audience. No wonder people think they are right, they are surrounded by others who think the same way. They feel a kinship in a really scary world. The leaders (not the real movements, not the real game changers) take with one had and point with the other.

Plato had it right with his cave anology. Those shadows that the people can see are just that. Shadows. Boogymen. Nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I get that the world is scary, I get that we don’t understand even a fraction of how the world works and I understand so SO well that it feels good to find others who think the same way as you and even if you ‘see the light’ and see the world for what it really is, there are few who will listen to you. Most of us took the blue pill because the truth is just too painful to bear.

However, a new pattern has emerged here. A much more dangerous way of thinking. We just don’t allow ourselves to be wrong, it physically hurts! Everything we do is so emotional today. Everyone just wants to think emotionally rather than taking all of three seconds to think about something logically and rationally.

Society is full of adult toddlers who have a tantrum when they are challenged. Rather than giving them our time, we should be giving them a sippy cup with chocolate milk and a nap. I get it, it feels bloody good to scream and be angry. To blame someone other than yourself or your leaders for the life you have lived. All those missed chances? Not your fault, not your parents or your leaders fault. It was those pesky (insert blameless minority here)

Now I can already hear many of you shouting ‘I hear you lamenting but I don’t hear you coming up with any answers’ but the solution is simple. The implementation is incredibly complex and difficult and (unfortunately I believe it is also impossible but I’m praying I’m wrong) will require everyone to do their part but the answer is so SO simple. Equality.

I don’t mean the bullshit ‘everyone should be treated the same’ that’s not equality. I’m saying EVERYONE should be given the same chances regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, sex, wealth. Instead, the world is incredibly unbalanced and unequal and I have strong feeling that mother nature is about to shift it back into balance because she is a bad bitch who is fed up with us just taking but not giving back.

In my teens I went through a phase (I can hear the sniggering in the back). I found wicca (I can now hear louder sniggering). Now this phase lasted about 6 months and generally involved me wearing a lot of black, buying some coloured candles and generally trying out some cool spells because I could now do motherfucking magic biatches! But, soon enough, it fissled out and I got bored and moved onto something else (mainly the grunge scene - they, just, like...got me, you know?). But, I took one of my very core beliefs away from it. As at the heart of this beautiful religion it was all about balance. Whatever you took, you had to give back and EVERYTHING came back threefold - you had pay the dammed ferryman (you always have to pay eventually and not always in the ways you expect) . So, you sent out good vibes? You got those good vibes magnified right back atcha! Kind of a witchy butterfly effect.

Furthermore (check me out with the academic phrasing..eh? eh?!) many of followers of Wicca believed that their main deity was simply like a multi faceted diamond with many faces and each aspect simply reflected a different religion, deity or belief system and that she was always with them no matter what deity they believed in. (disclaimer - It’s been a long time since I was involved in this so if I’m wrong, please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies) but, again, it kinda made sense to me at the time (and still does). When I first started, it was new, it was different and it gave me purpose but then the glamor kinda got scraped off and I actually had to do some hard work and, being a teenager, I was just not into that.

Now I know many of you are asking ‘what the hell has this got to do with the price of cheese’ but bear with me because the answer is, again, relatively simple.

It’s all about balance. We have taken but not given back for so long. As a society we think that being successful is hoarding as much wealth as possible, drinking champagne and eating caviar whenever we feel like it, occasionally giving a few quid to charity to show that ‘we’re in this together’ because that is what the media have us believe. That it’s the ULTIMATE goal to have your own private jet and generally just whittle your life away doing nothing but pamper yourself.

We think the only way to achieve this is to take it by force. To be ruthless and cutthroat and step on as many heads as we can to get to the top, right?! That’s always been the way it was done!

However, that might have worked for a while but, as a society we have kinda went full circle and are right back at the start - openly rejecting facts and evidence for emotion (well it feels better to believe in x therefore it must be x) and anecdotal evidence (if you crack an egg at the fulll moon whilst hopping on one foot, you will totally get rid of that cancer - it totally worked for a friend of a friend so it must be true).

Right now the world is a giant carnival game and we all know those carnival games are rigged as shit. Step right up, Steeeep right up! Come along, try your luck! Why you look like an amazingly (add appropriate adjective here) individual, I bet YOU could win - not like any of these other chumps. The whole thing is rigged in favour of the wealthy and powerful and, in all honesty, I completely understand. It’s in our very nature.

It’s been so insidiuous and we have been bombarded so much with this message that we now have an entire generation of very broken and exhausted individuals who think that surviving and living are the same thing. News flash. They’re not.

This is why we are in the situation we are in. We have simply been sleep walking and ignoring what is right in front of us. In order to move on, we need to accept some really hard truth and take a long, good look at who we are as both individuals and as a society. Honestly? I don’t think we are ready for that yet the other two options are to continue the way we are going and let mother nature do her thing or simply destroy ourselves in the process. We are quickly running out of options and I REALLY don’t want to be the guy who said ‘I told you so’.

Now before anyone starts with the whole ‘you’re so wrong because (insert appropriate defense here) just stop and think for three seconds. Let that knee jerk reaction go and give it time to sink in. Even read it again if you have the attention span to do so and then think. Is he really wrong? Maybe the truth just hurts.

TL;DR - society is really broken and there’s no easy fix.

#wtf #covid #blm #hardchoice #depression #anxiety #currentaffairs

[vanimeldes]

your top 10 ASOIAF characters and why?

Mmmok, anon, because I like talking about my favourite characters. I will list the POV ones, but below cut, for safety

1. DAENERYS TARGARYEN - needless to say, the image of G0T/AS0IAF. I fell in love with her innocence and inner resilience and willingness to learn as much as she could since her first chapter. Her arc (so far) is - or was meant to be, whatever - so inspiring, and in a series focused on elements of low fantasy, her character encapsulates almost everything I love in a high fantasy: epicness, mysterious magic, legends, dragons, prophecies, but also her own character, her heroic arc, caused by an utterly selfless goal. I might sound totally generic, but I want her to live happily ever after and be in a position of power, because she understands the grief of lowborn and has a huge potential of learning from her past mistakes and improve their lives. After a life full of loss, abuse, and fears, she managed to become a revolutionary figure and a ruler whose reputation spanns across half a continent, she struggles to find a way between dealing with bad people who really deserve the worst punishments and being compassionate and merciful - because she is compassionate and merciful. My queen, and the reason why this series is popular, sorry not sorry. 

2. TYRION LANNISTER - misogynisic to a fault and horrible in many places, but GRRM called him a good villain and I have always regarded him as such or as morally questionable at best. GRRM has his issues, but he KNOWS how to write complex characters. It`s impossible (at least for me) not to be fascinated by his twisted perspective on the world around him and his traumas and his tiny attempts to be good and nice. His constant conflict between what he stands for, what he wants to represent as a Lannister and what he actually wants is stellar.

3. JAIME LANNISTER - similarly to Tyrion, he actually starts off as more antagonistic, but once you get into his head, it`s impossible (at least for me) not to root for him and understand some of the reasons behind his deeds. He is a tragic character in many ways: he is not honourable enough (although he wants to be) and yet he`s neither Lannister enough (although he wants that too). I still loved him since page one, I loved how Brienne changed him and how he changed him because of her. Whether he dies killing Cersei/embracing Cersei or gets to live with Brienne forever (aaah pls GRRM make it happen), I will be satisfied.

4. CERSEI LANNISTER - bruh, she`s just fascinating. She`s tragic too because she really embodies everything that is fucked up in the Westerosi patriarchal society. She internalized the misogny of the society and, as a consequence, when she wants to keep her power, she lacks the proper imagination to come up with other options than sex and murder. Her thoughts regarding women and womanhood are horrifying, but so is the abuse and trauma she suffered for most of her life. I hate the statement that she is stupid. Yes, she lacks patience. Yes, she is not as political savy as she thinks she is, she is very rash in her decisions, but she is cunning and ambitious. And whether you like her or not, you all must admit she is brave, proud and a real fighter, like that lion of her House`s banners. Lannisters (& Targaryens) are the reason why I can`t hate this series. 

5. DAVOS SEAWORTH - I never expect to fall in love with him, but he is such an unique character. He starts off as illiterate, but tough and strong. Per GRRM, he was created to provide insight into Stannis` storyline, but I just love how he got a personality of his own. His loyalty, his inner intelligence, his sincerity, his resilience make it impossible for him not to root for and pray for him. 

6. EDDARD STARK - lol, he`s Ned. He WASN`T stupid, nor a POOR HONOURABLE FOOL. I think that even if honour was ultimately his doom, he still managed to keep his humanity and goodness. His POV chapters only showed me a really intelligent and observant man, tormented by what he thought it was a betrayal: rather the conflict between keeping his sister`s secret and raising her son and what was seen as a betrayal through his beloved wife`s eyes. He might have failed in some ways because he hadn`t prepared his children for the tough world they were living in BUT he loved his children and wife more than anything, as much as he loved his sister, he never held grudge against all the Targaryens, even though his father and brother died horribly in Aerys` hands. He genuinely wanted to be a good man, despite all the hardships that would have pushed another over the edge. I can`t not appreciate that. 

7. BRAN STARK - the other character that, IMO, encapsulates the classic high fantasy. Of course, GRRM put a twist when he had Bran falling over the window and breaking his legs, as well as because he wrote him as not yet prepared to used his magic skills properly. But his storyline is full of magic and mystery, but told through the eyes of an innocent 7 yr old child, who suffered enough loss and fear and grief for a whole life. Again, it`s impossible not to root for him. I really want him to end up as King in the North, rather than the next tree-man, because he actually has ruling experience and is also kind and receptive. 

8. ARYA STARK - reading Arya`s AGOT chapters felt like reading a book about me when I was of her age. I have to admit, in the later books, some of her chapters are too long, and too boring, but I totally get their point: through her eyes, we see the horrors of war, the poverty, the trauma of a child who suddenly found herself alone in a very dangerous world. And she survives on her own, even though she has to kill those who threat her security and life, but we know that she never enjoys killing people, we know that she kill them out of necessity. She is also smart (when she names Jaquen the third kill), observant, resourceful, tough and brave (I meaaan, serving as Roose Bolton`s cupbearer?). How she survives in the House of Black and White? How quick she is to learn a foreign language? And, most important, how she gives no shits if the people she meets are noble or lowborn and how she befriends everyone? Her relationship with her father and her respect towards feminity, even though she is a gender non-conforming girl? You rock, girl!

9. BRIENNE TARTH - I accused GRRM of misogyny many times, but I reckon that Brienne is a response to the very misogynistic society he created, the society where „there`s no creature as unfortunate as an ugly woman”, by giving her a storyline, a character that is utterly honourable, kind, gentle. While she suffered because she couldn`t fit the gender role she was supposed to fulfill, she never held grudge against the values of feminity - on the contrary, she holds them in great regard! And, why not, as „ugly” and „manlike” she is, she got to make „Westeors` most desirable knight” admire and respect her, which, IMO, is a win!

10. ARIANNE MARTELL - such a pleasant surprise. My smart, hot-tempered, sexually adventurous, but brave and capable Princess. If GRRM kills her, I will erase him from my memory. I just love how she defies all the stereotypes inflicted upon most of the women in these books, I just love her ambition and hot temper, but also her relationship with her cousins and friends. I like that, while she uses sex to get Ser Arys do her bidding, we still see that she is very clever and resourceful. 

Notable mentions of POV characters: ASHA!!!! MELISANDRE!!! and Jon

My favourite non-POV characters:  THE LANN DAD, TYWIN MOTHERFUCKING Lannister; Margaery Tyrell, Brynden Blackfish Tully; Edmure Tully, Val the Wildling; Loras Tyrell; Garlan Tyrell; Olenna Tyrell

#ask #anonymous #asoiaf asks #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #tyrion lannister #cersei lannister #davos seaworth #bran stark #arya stark #eddard stark #arianne martell #brienne tarth #favourite characters

[lxpinwrites]

Prompt Fill/Interpretation

“[Hero]… I need you here…now.” 

 “I don’t come at your beck and call, [villain].” They were on the verge of hanging up before the ragged breathing down the phone gave them pause. “...what do you need me for?” 

 “To save me.”

(prompt by @gingerly-writing)

(CW - cursing/vulgar speech at times by Zacharus)

The dorm had even filled with thick silence, seemingly coating the room with a dust that Zacharus couldn’t stand. He spent most of his days in Edwin and Lucian’s room, trying to drown out the chilling lack of sound on the other side of that stone wall with whatever he could find to do. Sometimes Edwin got sick of him - other times, Meri came to visit, and when that happened, Zacharus and Edwin found themselves stranded. Zacharus came back to his own dorm to get clothes, having discovered that he wasn’t able to sleep beside that bed anymore. It didn’t matter. He spent most nights in someone else’s bed anyways - whether their partners knew or not. 

Zacharus came back just before dusk, feeling and uncharacteristic chill prickle through his skin as the sun lowered in the sky. The full moon was only hours away, which meant that he was kicked out of Edwin’s room for the night - unless he felt like wrestling a gigantic fucking wolf. 

He wasn’t really feeling up to it tonight. 

Lucian asked him concernedly what he would do, and he even offered to spent the night with him - innocently, of course, Meri would rip him to shreds in Zacharus even thought of touching him. Zacharus declined despite the loneliness at the edge of his mind. He knew the two had a date and he refused to be another burden on someone. 

He could handle one night alone in the room. He wasn’t a fucking pussy. 

Zacharus fiddled with his phone, looking out of the window momentarily before throwing the shades closed. He wouldn’t admit it to Edwin, but the moon made him sick sometimes. It made him sick more times than he would like to admit, but he didn’t want to admit that maybe he wasn’t as in control as he liked to think. 

It didn’t matter anyways, whether he shifted or not. He had called up Morveus a few hours ago and picked up what Edwin called “the marijuana”. Zacharus couldn’t help but to snicker as he settled into the shower, stuffing the vents before shutting the door. Catholic school really fucked Silvercrest up, he thought. The poor kid didn’t even know what weed even was until he met him. 

Zacharus tried not to think about how he ruined him, just like how he ruined most other shit in his life. Just like how he ruined the only real friendship he ever had. 

His lungs burned after a few moments, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t too far gone to have imagined his phone ringing from the bedroom. If he was lucky, it was Virion demanding a booty call. If he was unlucky, it was Lucian calling to say that he had misplaced a very hungry, very angry Edwin.

He couldn’t decide if it was luck or misfortune when he looked at the screen and read the name ‘Fucking Asshole Shit Motherfucker Dick Eater Magic Prissy Bitch’. 

Zacharus should have ignored it. Better yet, he should have pitched the phone out the window and cursed his name to the goddamned moon itself. Maybe the asshole taught him a few lessons on pettiness, because Zacharus decided to answer anyways, just to make him regret calling. 

The ringing stopped. Zacharus was short. “What.”

He didn’t expect Dante to apologize - that wasn’t in his nature. But he didn’t expect to hear a barely-audible muttering, muffled as if his mouth were way too close to the phone. “Zacharus - I need you here - now.”

Zacharus’s voice dripped with venom as he replied, disgusted that he was still expected to just wait on him like a goddamned servant. “I don’t come at your beck and call, Amor.”

 He was on the verge of hanging up before the ragged breathing down the phone made him pause. He was being idiotic - Dante didn’t need him for shit, and he sure as hell didn’t need Dante. Still, the way Dante breathed, wheezing painfully, made him stop. He winced as he spoke, as if ripping open a bandage before the wound was ready. “What do you need me for?”

A notification made his phone buzz. Zacharus barely glanced to see that he had sent his location. “To save me.”

The phone clicked before Zacharus could reply, yet he was already screaming into an unresponsive phone, trying to understand the wheezing, the heavy footsteps audible just before the click. 

Zacharus didn’t know what the fuck Dante had gotten himself into this time, and he knew that, after what he had done, Zacharus shouldn’t have cared. Yet he still found himself wasting the blunt and pulling on his jacket, hesitating long enough to grab his switchblade. 

He started down the hall to tell Lucian, though he paused when he heard prowling footsteps and angry huffing. Edwin had changed early. 

“God fuckin’ damnit,” Zacharus said, calling Lucian as he slid down the stair railings, not caring about the hall monitors that saw him and shouted for him. He was in the lobby by the time Lucian answered.

“H-Hello?” Lucian said, out of breath and rushed, as if-

Zacharus heard giggling from somewhere on Lucian’s line. He had, yet again, successfully cock blocked him. He made a note to use it as ammunition against him later, and then he was getting to business. “Dante’s in trouble.”

The phone was muffled by the rustling of clothes, and then Lucian said, “He certainly is, the next time I see him. Though, pray tell, tell me that you didn’t just use an emergency call to bitch to me. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but-“

“Yeah, I know - you were about to get some twink ass and can’t be bothered.” Zacharus found himself snapping at Lucian harder than he intended, and he wished he could blame the moon for feeling so raw. The moon didn’t fuck with him like Amor did, though. No one did.

He forced himself to take a breath, his legs shaking as he looked again at the location Dante sent him. He didn’t even know where that street would be. It sure as hell wasn’t on campus, that was for sure. 

He became vaguely aware that Lucian had been speaking, to which he said, “Fuck - sorry, it - Listen. He sent me his location. Someone’s got him, I think.”

The line was silent for a moment. Meri wasn’t even moving when Lucian said, quietly, “You know he’s stronger than me, right? That anyone who’s overpowered him - Anyone who could even hold against him-“

“It’s bad. D’you think I didn’t think of that already?” Zacharus asked, that edge returning to his voice. “I sent you the address because I don’t know where the fuck he is, but you’re from around here.”

“I’m from Boston, firstly - it’s an hour’s difference, and yes, the difference matters.” Zacharus wanted to smack Lucian every time he got that tone. Lucian continued despite the annoyed sound he had made, though this time, he sounded sincere. “Are you sure you should be going? You seem a bit - a bit more like Virion, to be honest. I thought the moon didn’t affect you.”

“It’s assholes like Amor that do,” Zacharus lied. “Now get your dick out of Meri’s ass and tell me where the fuck to go before I start flipping my shit.”

He heard Meri mumble something about him sounding moody, and then Lucian was speaking again. “It’s - It seems that it’s on the Northern end of town, just at the edge of Boston. I’m not seeing any houses on my end - just a street. Could it be wrong?”

“No.” He wasn’t entirely sure how he knew, but Zacharus knew that even if Lucian led him to the middle of a street, it would be the right place. He also knew he was short on time. “How far is it?”

“Twenty minutes if you drive like Edwin,” Lucian said. After some hesitation, he said, “Ten if you drive like Dante.”

“Five, then,” Zacharus challenged, feeling in his pocket for the key to the car that Dante had long abandoned. 

He was about to hang up when Lucian said, “I’m coming with you. Where are you?”

“Check up Meri’s ass,” Zacharus retorted. “I’m dealing with that bitch myself.”

Lucian scoffed, and then Zacharus was ending the call, hurrying for the parking garage nearby, where Dante always parked. If he was lucky, the car would still be there. 

The parking garage was empty save for a few stragglers, and at the far end of the garage - in one of the reserved spaces for the rich kids - was Dante’s car, dusty from misuse and ice cold. The fact that Dante had abandoned even his precious car was perhaps what shocked Zacharus the most. He had been so adamant on not letting anyone use it, and yet he had left so suddenly that the keys were still on the counter when Zacharus had returned to an empty dorm. 

He had meant to ask Dante about it, meant to tease him about the prospect of stealing his car, but Dante never returned. 

Zacharus had thought of stealing it - Lucian and Edwin even said that he should. He had walked to the parking garage a few times to take it for a joy ride, to maybe even crash the damned thing and walk away from the crash without a scratch, but he found that he couldn’t even look at the thing without getting blurry eyes and feeling more idiotic than ever. 

This time, he did what he had never done - he unlocked the car, forcing himself to sit in the driver’s side, trying to ignore how the air was too still, too unused. The car was immaculate as always - the carpet was as clean as usual and no trash could be found. Zacharus found himself thinking that it felt like he was driving to a goddamned funeral. 

Zacharus was never any good at directions, but he had to be this time. He kicked the car into drive, speeding out of the garage a little recklessly, grinning when he hit the curb. 

He hit eighty before he was off campus, hoping that he got a ticket because it would be Dante’s to pay for. He knew the money wouldn’t be an issue, but it would piss him off nonetheless. The moon was high in the sky by the time he hit the highway, and he tried not to look at it. He found himself wondering where Virion was, whether or not he would get himself into some trouble with the coven again. 

Some time had passed before Zacharus’s phone alerted him that he was nearing the location, to which he nearly called and bitched to Lucian that he had gotten it wrong. All of the houses on the street were abandoned, so much so that he had, for a moment, thought that he somehow was back in Georgia, back in his run-down town that he had run from. 

It was hard knowing which house to inspect first. He felt like he was picking numbers for a lottery, except the lottery was whether or not he would fail to save his - to save Dante. In the end, he chose the one house that didn’t have any lights on. It seemed creepy enough for someone to bring their kidnapping victims.

Zacharus parked on the side of the road, far enough from the house that he wouldn’t attract any attention, and then he was crossing fearlessly, feeling an anger that he wasn’t sure who it was directed to. He found himself wishing that he had brought Lucian along, knowing that he would get his ass kicked if it was a magic user he was fighting. He had jokingly asked Lorth once to teach him magic, but it turned out that he didn’t have an ounce of magic in him - save for shifter magic. He couldn’t cast the first spell - not even beginner ones - but he could shift on command, and apparently that was unique enough. 

Zacharus prowled around the house first, not stupid enough to try the front door first. It wasn’t his first break-in, that was for sure. All of the rooms that he could make out were abandoned, covered in either broken furniture or dust. He was about to give up when he saw a basement window at the back of the house - and the room was lit. 

“It’s always a fuckin’ basement,” Zacharus muttered. He dropped to the ground, peeking into the room, though he nearly lost his nerve when he saw Dante, sitting on the floor, his hands bound. He didn’t know much about magic, but he doubted Dante could do much without his hands. 

Zacharus briefly thought about sneaking in and just grabbing Dante, but he was too fucking angry and impatient for that. He stood up, bracing himself for the next idiotic thing he was about to do, and then he was sliding on the ground, slamming into the window and shattering it. 

Dante shrieked in surprise, and Zacharus crashed onto the hard concrete, knocking the breath from his lungs and snapping something else. He thought maybe he had hit his head, because when he looked up, Dante’s hair was white.

He blinked, shaking his pounding head, though when he opened his eyes, his hair was black again. Zacharus stood up shakily, dusting the glass from his jacket and picking it out of his hands. He tried to ignore how Dante was staring at him like he was a goddamned savior. 

“Let’s see what a concussed shifter and a useless witch can do,” he said, his voice shaking. 

Dante blinked, then, in a voice that was too soft to be his, said, “I’m not a witch. And you didn’t hit your head.”

“Thought your hair was white for a minute,” Zacharus said, making conversation like Dante didn’t go missing for weeks, like he didn’t just fuck him and leave. “I must’ve hit it and fucked something up.”

Dante seemed to hesitate, and then he said, “Yes. I suppose I didn’t see it, after all.”

Zacharus looked towards the stairs leading to the rest of the house, trying to think of what to do. The window he broke was too high to just climb out of, so they would have to meet whoever had taken him. 

He moved for Dante, cutting his hands free and helping him stand, though his hands felt like ice. “You’re colder than shit,” he remarked. “What’s wrong with ya’?”

Dante didn’t answer for a moment, looking at the ground, clearly haunted by something that Zacharus couldn’t understand. After a moment, he said, “I didn’t think you’d come for me.”

“Why?” Zacharus asked, a little angrily. “Because you fuckin’ ghosted me?”

Dante winced, though he shook his head. “Did - You haven’t heard?” 

Zacharus was confused, but he said, “All I’ve heard is that no one’s heard from you in god knows how long. Was I supposed to know what you did? Why you left?”

Footsteps from above silenced them, and Dante looked up worriedly. Zacharus had never seen him look afraid before, but in that moment, he did. “They’re back. We’ll have to leave some other way.”

“Why?” Zacharus asked. “I cut your hands free. Just - I dunno - magic them to death or something.”

“I can’t,” he said, a little annoyedly.

“Why?” He asked again, feeling like a goddamned child that didn’t understand a thing. “Can you not do it anymore or some shit?”

Dante shushed him when the footsteps got a little closer, and then he was speaking quickly, quietly. “They do magic - a different kind that just… counteracts all of mine. I tried fighting back and they seem to have cut off all sources of magic in this house. Save for their own.”

“What the fuck.” Zacharus couldn’t even pretend to understand a word of what he was saying. “Can they do that? That sounds fake.”

“Are you an idiot?” Dante hissed. “Necromancy is a form of-“

He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide with realization at what he had finally revealed. Zacharus was shocked for a moment, but not truly. He had known that something was different about his magic, different in a way that made him sneak around. 

He just couldn’t understand why it made him disappear. 

“You’ll forget I said that,” Dante said - threatened. “You won’t speak a word of it outside this house.”

“I’ll tell whoever the fuck I-“

Dante moved to slam him against the wall, but Zacharus was quick and instead pinned him against the railing of the stairs, holding him tightly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Zacharus asked. “Why did you leave?”

Dante smacked at him, but without magic, he couldn’t break free. Finally, he said, “You couldn’t begin to understand what I’ve gone through, what I’ve had to do.”

“Dante,” Zacharus said, exasperation in his voice. “Alyssa fuckin’ disappeared. She left a week after you did, and it was up to me to tell you, and I couldn’t fucking find you. Your little girlfriend could be dead for what we know.”

Dante stopped moving, though the expression in his eyes was something unreadable. Zacharus thought it was grief, so he said, “I hate to tell you like this. I know you liked her, but-“

“I loved her,” Dante said, his voice strained. “You couldn’t find me because I wasn’t in a position to be found.”

“You abandoned everyone you said you cared about,” Zacharus said, releasing him with a sense of finality. “I’ll break you out of this bullshit, but afterwards, one of us is leaving.”

He moved for the staircase, not looking to see if Dante was following, knowing that he was too desperate to not follow. He kicked open the basement door fearlessly, wanting nothing more than to just go home and sleep. 

Voices of surprise filled the musky room he had broken into, and then a white wisp of magic was lighting the entire room, revealing several people that he had never seen before - all magic users. 

“Who are you?” One demanded, blocking Zacharus’s way to the front door. “Do you know just who - just what - you’re breaking out?”

“Y’all kidnapped my roommate,” Zacharus said uncaringly, tossing his jacket to Dante whom was trying to tell him something. “I’m getting out of here whether you like it or not.”

He cracked his knuckles, waiting for it to come, though nothing happened. He hesitated, looking at his hands and trying to shift his nails - the first thing he had learned to do. 

Nothing happened. He couldn’t even feel the wildness under his skin. 

The woman who had been talking to him chuckled, and then she said, “You must be a werewolf. All dark magic is blocked here - you and him are as good as human.”

“Oh, fuck me!” Zacharus said, turning back to Dante irritably. “A little warning next time?”

“I was trying to tell you and you wouldn’t listen!” Dante argued.

Zacharus pointed at him angrily, nearly turning back to the woman before he caught a glimpse of a curly haired boy and his goth boyfriend outside. 

Meri. 

“So, uh-“ Zacharus said, struggling to buy time for them to hurry up. Even if Lucian couldn’t do magic, he knew that Meri was something far different, meaning that, maybe, they were saved. “What kinds of magic isn’t blocked? Like, what are y’all?”

The woman crossed her arms, though she still spoke. “You’re not going to charm me out of leaving, but if you’re so curious, I’ll tell you. We are a Druid circle dedicated to eliminating unnatural and dangerous magic - such as vampires, necromancers, and so on.”

Zacharus nodded, trying not to grin. He didn’t know what the fuck a druid was, but it sounded like something Meri said once. He looked out the window again, sighing when he saw that they were going the wrong way. 

He turned to Dante. “We’re going to have to buy some time.”

Dante’s brow twinged, though he eventually saw Lucian and Meri. “How?”

Zacharus grinned again, though he felt his heart lurch at what he was about to do. “Fuckin’ disgusting them, is how.” 

He grabbed Dante by the ass, to which Dante said, “I’m going to kill you later. Mark my words, you will be an example of-“

He kissed Dante, though he was a little disgusted when he felt just teeth on one side, though he knew Dante wasn’t that bad. He grabbed Dante’s face when he knew that he finally understood what he was doing, though he jerked when he felt something wet and disgusting on his hand. He opened his eyes, though he saw no cuts.

The front door slammed open. The druids shrieked, and so did Lucian. Zacharus was propping Dante against the wall at this point though he nearly threw him off when their saviors came, wiping his mouth. 

“We’re discussing that,” Zacharus said. 

“Agreed,” Dante said, sneering in anger and disgust. 

Lucian drew his dagger, though he paled when no magic came. Understanding quickly - to Zacharus’s surprise - he opted for just holding it out as a weapon. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The woman asked again. 

Meri looked up at her, his cheeks red from having walked in on something intimate with Zacharus and Dante, though he eventually said, “Um, we’re coming to get them.”

“No you’re not,” the woman said sternly. “As druids of the Hidden Circle, you’ll not touch them.”

“I’m a druid!” Meri finally said. Zacharus and Dante groaned. He was dumber than he had anticipated.

The woman laughed, clearly not believing him. “Really? And can you show me this druidry of yours?”

Meri looked at the others, rubbing his hands a little chaotically. Lucian’s eyes widened in terror, feeling the air crackle around him, static making Meri’s curls fuzzy. “Meri - Meri - That’ll kill us!” He said, hearing thunder from above. 

The druids looked up, eyes wide, as purple lightning struck the center of the house. 

Zacharus and the others fell back from the force of the strike, feeling the heat of the charred floor below him. His ears were ringing from the explosion, and he rubbed his eyes sorely. 

He must’ve blacked out, because by the time he was shakily getting to his feet, the druids were gone - or fried. He wasn’t sure. Lucian had covered Meri before the blast, though when they were safe, Lucian removed him from his side to scold him.

“Really, Meri! Of all the things Lorth taught you, you picked the one spell?” 

Zacharus tuned them out to turn to Dante, whom was still unconscious. He knew he wasn’t so injured to be hallucinating, yet the white hair had returned, falling into Dante’s white face messily. He looked at the rest of his face, noticing a deep gash near his cheek that he had felt earlier. Another gash revealed his skull near his teeth. 

Lucian and Meri had stopped bickering to eye Dante in silence, fearing that he was dead. Zacharus moved closer to him, feeling for a pulse that was not there. 

His blood ran cold. He felt again, waiting for the rise and fall of his chest to signal that he was alive. Nothing came. 

He stared at the body in silence, stuck between screaming and crying when, out of nowhere, Dante’s eyes - or, eye, since one was completely white - opened. 

Dante shot up so fast that he had smacked into Zacharus, stumbling as he crashed into a nearby closet. Moments later, he emerged, his hair black, staring at them with normal eyes. 

“You could’ve killed us,” Dante said to Meri coldly. 

“You’re already dead.” Dante turned to Zacharus, whose voice was flat with disbelief, his face pale with shock. “You didn’t have a pulse. You weren’t breathing.”

“You must’ve imagined it,” Dante said, though before he could fully dismiss him, Zacharus was swinging for him. Free of the druids’ spell, Dante caught his hand in a wave of green magic, holding him still. “You’re hysterical.”

“Fuck yeah I am, you piece of - fuck!” Zacharus screamed, his voice growing more rough by the minute, though it wasn’t by anything more than tears. “You think I’m an idiot and I am but - fuck! I know what I saw! You did something and now you’re completely wrong-”

“You’re glamoured,” Lucian said, looking at him with a mix of wonder and fear. “Right now, at least. I wasn’t aware that was something you could do.”

Dante briefly considered what to do with the fact that four people now knew his secret. Perhaps it was weakness, but though the thought of killing all of them flashed through his mind, he barely allowed himself to consider it. He tried to tell himself that it was only because it would leave more tracks to cover, but he knew it wasn’t true. 

“It’s new.” That much was true, Dante could admit. He had barely learned how to glamour when he had been killed. He could hardly recall how it happened - he only remembered claws ripping into him rather unexpectedly.

The first thing he had thought when he came back to life was that an animal attack shouldn’t have happened indoors. And that’s what made him assume it was Zacharus - the only shifter with enough control to shift indoors to only kill one person in broad daylight. 

He had left that day. He didn’t even pack his belongings, nor did he wait for Zacharus to be home to leave. 

“What are you?” Lucian asked, snapping him from his thoughts. Dante realized briefly that part of his glamour was starting to fuck up again, just from the fact that he had lost his concentration for only a moment. 

Dante looked up at him, at Meri who wouldn’t meet his gaze, at Zacharus who stared unblinkingly, free of any guilt. Just like how Alyssa had stared. 

“Has Lorth taught you nothing of necromancy?” Dante asked, partially insulting him and partially curious. At the mention of necromancy, Meri seemed to pale. He was so sick of self-righteous druids. 

“Lorth practically banned the mention of it,” Lucian said. “I’m not sure why, but he refused to tell me about it - save from the occasional threat, of course.”

Dante paced around the room slowly, looking over the burnt room that reeked of magic. “You’ve known my magic is different from yours, and you’ve known that my magic helped the coven at one point. But you don’t know how I helped them, do you?”

Lucian began to shake his head, then stopped, looking up at him, his voice barely a whisper as he said, “You brought them back. You brought them all back.”

“I was only practicing at the time,” Dante said. “I didn’t know who Cirric was, nor why he wanted so many people resurrected. I just saw an opportunity to practice on something other than animals. Apparently I was good at it.”

Lucian gave a bitter laugh, one that made Meri hold his hand in concern. “I suppose you were, since I had to discover myself that my - that Farcan was alive. That he died again.”

“Would you have told your friends that you were doing necromancy? It’s not like you were exactly eager to tell me about your pact with Asmodeus,” Dante snapped. “Eventually I began thinking about preventing my own death. And I did.”

“But how?” Zacharus asked. Dante glared at him, fighting the urge to grab his phylactery protectively. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I protected myself from it, and now I’m a lich.”

“Lorth won’t be happy,” Lucian said. “He - I don’t know why, but he hates necromancy.”

“Most do,” Dante said, perhaps a little regrettably. “Most react in one of two ways - they try to kill us like these druids did, or they run.” Dante’s glamour had completely faded now, judging by the faint reflection of white in the window beside him. “Sometimes they kill you before you can even try to explain.”

His eyes met Zacharus’s in the window, but he was sick to find that he didn’t look guilty - not at all. “Could you blame me for running, Mays?”

“Who killed you?” 

The question was so sudden that Dante flinched, and he was angry to find that Zacharus was the one asking, acting as though he would try to avenge him. He didn’t know Zacharus was so good at falsehoods. Dante turned on him suddenly, thinking that perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea to leave no witnesses. His hands alighted with green magic, his own fury acting on its own.

“An interesting question, isn’t it?” Dante asked. “A better question - when did you last shift?”

Zacharus’s brows furrowed momentarily, confusion in his eyes as he hesitated. “A week ago? A month? I’ve not felt like it.”

“That’s your answer.”

It dawned on Zacharus, then, just what Dante was accusing him of. And, looking at the deep gashes on his face that could have been claw marks, he didn’t blame him. 

But Zacharus knew himself better than that. He thought Dante knew him better than that. 

Just as Lucian was about to ask something, Zacharus was approaching him, his knuckles cracking with anticipation as his nails ripped into claws. He came closer, closer until Dante’s back hit the window, and then he was pressing his clawed hand against Dante’s face. 

“Tell me, lich bitch, how could I make claw marks three times my size? With one go? How would I have lost control to have killed my best friend?” Zacharus’s voice shook, but he didn’t move until Dante looked at his hand, until realization dawned on him that no, it wasn’t Zacharus who killed him.

“It wasn’t Edwin either,” Zacharus said, letting his hand return to normal as he stepped away, picking his jacket off the floor. “It wasn’t a wolf that killed you, and it wasn’t a knife.”

Dante’s mind was racing as Lucian began speaking to them, but he wasn’t listening. He was desperately trying to think back to when he was alive, but everything seemed impossibly hazy, as if the memories belonged to someone else entirely. He remembered the night before, in a bed that wasn’t his but beside his. He remembered someone knocking on the door when he was alone to talk. 

The door had opened and it was someone too short for him to notice, and then they became all too noticeable as the talk escalated. And then something was knocking him to the floor and ripping into him. 

He had woken in a pool of his own blood, staining the floor, the walls, the furniture. One arm was numb, and then he looked at it and his stomach lurched. He wondered how his killer had managed to leave just bone. 

Zacharus was swinging his keys back in the ruined house, making his way for the door and looking at him expectantly. “I’m driving. I don’t trust that skeleton arm.”

Dante nodded blankly. Lucian mentioned that they were going to make sure no one had heard the commotion. Dante made to leave, though he nearly overlooked Meri, whom was staring at him in horror.

“We’re even, then?” Meri said. Dante had no idea what he was talking about. “I killed you, but I saved you, right?”

A realization dawned on Dante, then. So it hadn’t been a wolf that killed him after all, but a bear. He grinned, and he realized that Meri was shaking. “Yes,” he said, though he knew he was lying. “I suppose we are.”

#druids can wild shape #excerpt from something I made longer #prompt fill #fiction #fantasy #lots of cursing #sitcom college au #zacharus #dante #edwin #lucian

[purple-possibilities]

I have bouts of what I like to call “Fuck You Insomnia.”

Now normally it’s just the regular old onset insomnia (trouble falling asleep) in the summer months, related to probably the fact that the sun doesn’t set around these parts in the summer until like 10pm and there’s just not enough time for melatonin to build up in the also limited time that the sun is down.

Now it’s the middle of winter. The sun is down at 3pm. This is the half of the year I’m granted by Hades’ inability to find a bride like a normal-ass person where I’m supposed to sleep like a baby.

Not this time, bitch.

(The bitch, unfortunately, is me).

Because apparently it’s time to develop “Fuck You Insomnia” where the “Fuck You” is not being said to Insomnia, but by Insomnia. This Insomnia (which my phone keeps capitalizing and I can’t be assed to fix for various reasons) works in two ways:

It started off as maintenance Insomnia—still capitalizing itself like a stuck up, self absorbed bitch I see—which is where you either have trouble staying asleep (so you keep waking up for no goddamn reason) but you can fall back asleep easily enough, or you just wake up waaaayyyy too goddamn motherfucking early and can’t go back to sleep if the life of baby Jesus himself was on the line (some say that’s what really took him, poor bastard. Is he literally a bastard? Like, a bastard child, not an asshole. His parents weren’t married... hmmm... food for thought).

Anyways, started off a few weeks ago that I kept waking up after like, 2-3 hours but was able to fall back asleep easily enough. Annoying? Yes. Annoying af? Not yet.

So because god hates me for wondering things like “is jesus really a bastard?” in my spare time, which I now have loads of thanks to all the not-sleeping I’m doing—real effective there, asshole, you’re just giving me more time to be a sinning pile of trash, motherfucker—it didn’t stay that way.

No, instead it turned into some weirdass combination of onset and maintenance Insomnia. Still capitalizing itself like a pretentious Piece of shit. Piece capitalized itself too. What a classy bitch.

So a normal person would assume that I have trouble falling asleep and then I wake up a lot. A normal person would be wrong. Instead it goes like this:

Some nights I can’t fall asleep at all. Instead, I spend the night real drowsy, no matter how much artificial melatonin I take (or as I affectionally like to say, how much melly I pop, because of a stupid song about molly that I won’t repeat as a personal favour to anyone reading this). On those nights, which I don’t sleep even a wink despite lying in bed with my eyes closed and praying to that bastard Jesus to just fucking put me to sleep or kill me, whichever one is easier (gee wiz batman, I wonder why he doesn’t listen to you???). But, because god or Jesus or the Holy Spirit—who is like, just some crusty ass jizz apparently, what a disappointment that was to learn—has a sense of fucking humor, if I take a nap after 12 in the afternoon, aka when the sun is at its zenith, I can sleep dead straight for a whole, blissful 9 hours. In which no god nor repeated alarm can wake me. You piece of shit. No, not you, everything mentioned in this post.

Who needs to sleep from noon to 9pm? That’s just not reasonable.

Whatever.

Anyways. So that’s fun because I wake up from that feeling like a million bucks but also not fun because that’s when 80% of the shit I need to be awake for happens so it’s not sustainable in the long run.

Other nights, when I manage to fall asleep at a relatively normal time (aka before high fucking noon) I sleep for, get this:

Exactly theee and a half (3.5) hours. Three (3) hours and thirty (30) minutes. Like goddamn clockwork. And then I can’t fall back to sleep. It doesn’t even make sense, scientifically, because one sleep cycle is 2 hours. So wtf is happening in that other 1.5 hours? A shittier, easier to wake from sleep cycle? It’s more likely than you think. Is Jesus teabagging me awake for wondering if he was a bastard child? I’ll have you know I only just thought about that now, at 5:30 am, when I woke up after sleeping for 3 and a fucking half hours. This was not a normal thought, Jesus, you did this to yourself.

And the icing on the cake?

I can’t fucking fall back asleep. Who needs to be up at the godforsaken hour of anytime before 8am? Hell, even 8am is a shitty hour, but we all make sacrifices for capitalism. Even billionaires (they sacrifice their morals and abject humanity, but like, they wipe their tears away with all the money they have in the bank so they might not think of it as a sacrifice).

So yeah, Fuck You Insomnia is being a bummer rn. But that’s what tumblr is for, I guess.

Anyways, I popped a Melly—now auto-capping itself too, you weirdass motherfukka... is Melly a name? That might explain it—and as I was trying to say, I’m praying to the bastard for more sleep. It ain’t happening, so imma read like a normal person, as opposed to the salty bitch who wrote this post.

Peace ✌️

#sibi talks about sibi #ignore me #insomnia #i feel better now #not tired #but #better

[souleater1987]

Sticky Notes (FriendlyPack Fic)

Title: Sticky Notes

Pairing: Stan Wheeler x Jimmy Bending (FriendlyPack)

Summary: Stan and Jimmy had been boyfriends for a while now and Stan thought of a perfect 1st anniversary date for jimmy. He places sticky notes with clues of where he is. With their friends helping Stan with the idea. At the end of the scavenger hunt, Jimmy finds Stan wearing a blue tuxedo with his signature Fannypack standing on the place where they first met.

Disclaimer: It’s been months since i last write something. Hope it’s not too bad! ((Special thanks to @huffle-puff-ego and @missfeisty199 for the help))

Words: 2,668 words (Not including THIS and ABOVE)

“Sunflower?”

     He asked as he opened his eyes. The bed was empty and cold, missing a certain person. His eyes wondered around the room he was in, and then he stumbled upon a yellow sticky note on the pillow next to him. He picked it up and already recognized the handwriting that it belongs to his love. He smiled and whispered to himself the words;

  “Good Morning, Friendly.

  There’s breakfast ready for you in the kitchen!

  Drink plenty of water!

                                                           Love, Fannypack”

 He smiled and went towards their kitchen. He sat down and digs in the wonderful food his sunflower made for him, and of course drank plenty of water. After his stomach was full, he then noticed another yellow note sticking on the flower vase in front of him. It reads:

 “A water a day keeps the thirst away!

I know you’re confused right now from all 

 This notes but don’t freak out! I’m at the

 Hospital-“

  He didn’t even finish reading the note and quickly dressed up and went running out the apartment. He burst through the door scaring some people next to him. He apologized and ran to his car. Arms fiddling to unlock the car door while cursing out such colorful words. His heart beating fast and his mind thinking all the possible bad things that happened to his sunflower. Snapped out of it Jimmy! His fine.

  When the engine is on, he quickly drove towards the hospital. Ignoring the red lights and cars that are honking on his fast driving. He could probably be pulled by a police by speeding but that’s none of his concern at the moment. After what felt like an eternity, -when it was only 4 minutes thanks to his driving-, he finally arrived at the hospital. Bursting through the glass door, shocking some patients and nurses. Brenda, the receptionist, was on her place staring at what was happening. Trying her best to not full on laughing at Jimmy’s full on outburst. The man was yelling his sunflower’s name to people asking where he is and running from A to B. Brenda, with her amusement quenched, called the man over. Not even a second later, his already in front of her.

  “You bitch! Where’s Stan? You stole him from me did you!? Oh my fucking god! When I found him, I’ll kill you and-“

 “Jimmy, chill. Your boyfriend is fine. But he told me to give you this.”  She then gave him a yellow sticky note. And it read;

  “I’m sorry for scaring you! I didn’t mean to give

 You a heart attack! But remember all the times

 We were put here and waited for each other?

 Fun memories, I say!

 I’m at the police station! And no I am not in trouble!

                                                  Love, Fannypack”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Sorry about my sudden outburst, Brenda.” He said embarrassingly. She rolled her eyes and nodded. Pointing at the door and said, “Whatever, just go get your man or something”. Jimmy’s cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. His still not used to hearing someone pointed out that his in a full on relationship. His not thinking it in a bad way! Don’t get him wrong, his so proud that as amazing and handsome as Stan is his boyfriend. Hell, every time he and Stan went out holding hands, they’re not afraid to show it off.

  He shook his head, stopping the voices in his head to write a long ass essay of his life. He put on the ignition and head out to the police station. He turned on the radio to engulf the silence and continue driving. When he finally arrived at the front of the police station, he turned off the ignition and step out the car. The blue haired man walked in the door and saw Lieutenant Ziggy on the counter. The policeman waved him over.

 “Hey Jimmy, what brings you here-“

  “Ziggy, shut up. I know Stan said something for me so just zip it” He said and slammed his hands on the counter. The policeman sighed and gave him another yellow sticky note with the same handwriting. It said:

  “To be honest I have no idea why the next location is the police station.

 Maybe because it’s the only thing Ziggy would work for me.

 Anyway, I’m at the place where we did the you know what.

The cabbage picking. The parmesan. The not so legal.

Okay! The first house we robbed together!

                                                      Love, Fannypack”

   “You didn’t read this, did you?” Jimmy asked nervously. The incident was so long ago but it’s still a crime. The police man chuckled and said, “Even if I did read it or not, I’m not going to bust your ass. Just go and get your man before I change my mind”. He didn’t twice and went directly out the building. Went inside his car and drove the fuck out of there. The man let out a sigh and focuses on the roadway ahead. He noticed that the city is quite silent today, like nothing bad is happening. No cry for help, no ambulance sounds, and no police sirens heard. It’s weird to have a peaceful day in Los Santos. Not that he mind, just weird.

  He saw the house ahead and remembered the quite fun memories he and Stan had. Even though he almost traumatized Stan with him allegedly murdering the man who owns the house. It’s fun. He saw someone on the sidewalk and it seems its Eugene and Edna. He parked in front of them and waved.

   “Funny seeing you two here. Let me guess, Stan told you to wait here for me to arrive and give me a piece of note” Jimmy said to the two. “Hell no, we’re here because a man who looked like Stan is dead inside the house” Eugene said with glee. Jimmy’s face turned pale and nervously laughed. Edna quickly punched Eugene, “Ey! Don’t scare the poor boy with your shit!” She then looked at Jimmy who is still at the state of shock and slapped him, waking him up. “His just being his shitty self, Stan’s fine. Here” She gave jimmy the paper. “Just get out of here, I don’t want any witness when I kill this bitch” Eugene quickly ran away with Edna on his tail.

  “My first time doing something illegal! The adrenaline was

 Something! Remember when I yelled ‘Oh my god’ so many times

 When you killed a man? Good times. Oh, and you almost selling me crack?

 The friendliest crack dealer in Los Santos! I’m at the place where we almost died!

                                                               -love Fannypack”

   He shivered at the thought of the memory. The time when they turned into hostages. He turned on the ignition and drove to Polido Bank. He turned on the radio to silence the long drive to the bank. To his surprise, he heard Kiki’s voice in the radio.

  “Good Afternoon, you mothertruckers! Kiki Chanel in the house for your daily thirst quenching! Queue the applause..... I SAID QUEUE THE APPLAU- yayyyyyy. Okay, okay, okay. Before you get your daily bad choices of song, here’s a special message from Jackie chan himself! He said and i quote with his voice; Better hurry up before this motherfucker is dead!’ And here we have our special sponsors, Kiki’s KOC-“

  He suddenly turned down the radio and pressed hard on the paddle, increasing the acceleration of his car. Moving from left to right, avoiding everything that is on his way. Praying that he won’t get pulled over. After what felt like an eternity with his heart beating fast, he can finally see the bank ahead with Buddha or Jackie chan leaning on the side of the bank. With him are two people with a monkey mask and a bandana covering itself. He pulled over and walked hastily to them. 

  “Where’s Stan-“ he was cut off with a gun on his forehead. The man who has the gun tsked and shook his head. The other two who is with him chuckled, making Jimmy nervous.

  “Remember the time when you said they were boyfriends? And they denied?” The man with the monkey mask said to the bandana. He nodded and replied, “And now look at where we are now. The two supposedly not in a relationship are now lovebirds!” The bandana surprisingly shrieked in delight. Following the monkey and Jackie chan. Removing the gun off Jimmy’s forehead.

  “We’re just fucking with you, Velvet aurora!” Jimmy shivered at the name and corrected him with “Friendly”. Jackie Chan nodded and gave him the yellow note his been waiting for. Jimmy said his goodbyes and quickly walked towards his car. But not without hearing one of them say, “Go get that Water man D!”. Jimmy’s cheek reddened and drove off the bank. While driving, he swiftly read the note. 

  “The time when my life flashes before my eyes! In a bad way, i say! Still grumpy about them not buying my water. Anyway, remember when you threatened me? Yeah I’m there! 

                -Love, Fannypack”

   He checked his watch and saw it’s almost past 4 O’clock. He took off his sunglasses and started rubbing his forehead. “All of this stress better be worth it, Stan” He whispered to himself, but a small smile visible on his lips. He saw the familiar fence and the gate leading to the place where he ‘threatened’ Stan. 

   He gets out his car and walked down. He saw someone standing near the water, wearing a rather familiar outfit. A female police outfit and its pink hat. 

    “Sup, bitch” yep, that’s kiki alright.

 “Why are you here? And how the fuck do you know this place?” Jimmy asked the gorgeous woman. 

   “Well nice to see you too, asshole! Such toxic masculinity. At least someone thinks I’m gorgeous.” Kiki smirked at him. He rolled his eyes and put out his hand, gesturing for something them both already knew. 

   “You’re no fun. I’m planning on like putting it inside a bottle and throwing it in the water and you sacrificing your life to get it or something” She said and simply shrugged at Jimmy’s shocked face. 

   “Anyway, out of all the places you, Stan, and I went to. Why this place?” Kiki asked. Jimmy shrugged and looked the other way, avoiding her eyes. “How do i know?” 

   She scoffed at his response and replied, “Because you’re his boyfriend? I can’t even believe Stan choose you over this bomb ass pussy! Huuuuuuuuuuuuuu” Then started dancing seductively. Jimmy pretended to gag and vomit. 

    “HOOOWWWW DAAAAAARRREEEE YOUUUUUU- here, I’m done with this toxicity of masculinity! This bomb ass pussy is out!” After she thrown the piece of paper to Jimmy, she sashayed away with her hips going left and right with her middle finger in the air. “Don’t forget to use protection and lots of lube!” She yelled. Jimmy quickly grabbed the paper flowing in the air before it hit the wet ground. He fixed his posture and read it out loud; 

   “A place where we’re merely strangers

   Introducing Jimmy and Stan

  Never thought they’ll be lovers

The friendly crack dealer and the water man

     Where am i?

                     -love, Fannypack”

   Jimmy’s chest felt so warm. The feeling is like when they first met. How such a middle aged man that is so naive and innocent ended up with a guy like him. He felt the tears coming up but quickly hold it. It’s not time yet. He pocketed the paper, along with the others, and went to his car. Jimmy started heading to the place he never though a love story would start. 

   While his driving, he can see the sunset shining through him. Letting the final ray of sunshine warmth him. Remembering the time when he and Stan went out to eat burgers and watched the sunset together. It may not seem like a date but it is to him. Oh how he wished his brave enough to tell Stan his feelings that time. But that doesn’t matter right now, because they’re together and happy. He’ll get even happier when he finally sees his sunflower. 

  His nearing at the destination and can see what seems like a curtain blocking the parking lot? Is that legal?

  He slowly parked near the destination and get out the car. He looked around, trying to find his love but no luck. He sighed and leaned on the side his car. He took out his cigarette and lighter, and was about to light it when he heard a very familiar voice. 

   “Didn’t you promised you’ll stop smoking?” 

  Jimmy’s eyes widen and looked up. His cheeks reddened and mouth opened, letting the cigarette fall out his mouth. There in front of him shows Stan Wheeler, wearing a blue tuxedo with a matching blue fanny pack. Some black shorts and black fancy shoes. His blonde hair was gelled back making him look somewhat fancy. His hands behind him fidgeting a bit and his eyes looking around, avoiding Jimmy’s covered eyes. Perfect timing, the final sunrise set on Stan making him shine. Making him looked like a literal sunflower that is blue all over. 

  “Uh-uhmm.. h-hi ji-jimmy...” Stan let out a genuine smile. Then suddenly the carpet behind Stan fall revealing such a beautiful sight. It was a beautiful sight when it got caught off by Stan screaming “GOD HELP! THE CARPET HAS DEVOURED MY EXISTENCE!!! HELPPPP!!”. 

   Jimmy chuckled at his clumsiness and helped him get out the carpet monster. -As that Stan called it-. Stan’s head is finally out, so does the rest of his body, and didn’t realize that Jimmy’s face is so near his. It’s so close that them both can feel each other’s breath. Both men has their cheek blushing. Even after a year dating, these two still get flustered over each other. 

 Jimmy helped Stan up and looked back the beautiful sight. There was Christmas lights attached above lighting over a fancy table with food and of course water. An inflatable balloon on the background spelling “Happy 1st Anniversary Stimmy by Kiki and friends”. 

   “So that’s why all of them are both so cryptic and extra stupid” Jimmy said to Stan. He nodded and gestured to the fancy table. They sat down and started talking about times they’re together and being themselves to others. They can hear some locals walking passed them but Kiki threatening them out loud outshine it. With Ziggy and Brenda trying to stop her from killing someone, Eugene and Edna film the whole thing, and other of their friends laughing. It may looked like they’re invading both of their privacy but without those people, none of this would’ve happened. 

  “I’m so lucky to have them, and also you Jimmy” Stan said. 

  “Don’t be such a sap!” The water man giggled at his response. “Oh! I almost forgot!” Stan then went under the table and let out a present. 

  “Wait, I didn’t get you anything!” Jimmy started panicking but Stan beat him to it and told him its fine. Stan gave the gift to Jimmy, who’s still sulking over not giving him a gift. Jimmy slowly opened the wrapped gift and saw... a water bottle? 

  “Uhm, Stan?” 

  “Look at the brand!” Stan said with excitement. Jimmy raised his eyebrows and looked down. It said, “Friendly Water!”. 

  “You and I are now business partners for my water business!” Stan said with glee. “Aren’t I already am with me driving you all over town?” Stan shushed him and told him that it’s beside the point. Jimmy chuckled at his silliness and stared at him with so much love. His so lucky to have such a wonderful and handsome man like Stan. 

 “I’m so lucky to have you too Jimmy” Jimmy laughed and realized he said it out loud. With the stars and moon shining above them, and the chaos happening around them cause by their friends. Nothing would ever ruin such a beautiful night. 

  “Happy 1st anniversary, Sunflower”

  “Happy 1st anniversary, Sunshine”

#Friendlypack #stimmy #stan wheeler #jimmy bending #stan the water man #friendly jimmy #friendlypack fic #fanfiction #HS Fics

[dumbchickwrites]

Brought Me Back.

Pairings: Frank Castle x Reader.

Warnings: a lil angst, smut!

A/N: I don’t remember if at this point of the series Amy is already Amy, so my apologies if I messed up.

***

“Hey, what you doin’?” you asked Amy who was rummaging Dinah’s kitchen cupboards.

“I swear to God, that woman is some kind of bird. What kind of person only eats grains and nuts?”

You laughed at her exasperated expression. Dinah had been kind enough to let you stay here with Frank and Amy. The poor woman was still tormented by Billy, after all this time and you really pitied her. She deserved some kind of closure. She deserved better. Looking at Amy, you thought that she deserved better too, no matter what kind of life she had before entering yours, or what she’d done. She was just a kid.

Glancing at the clock on the oven, you let out a big sigh. Frank had been out for quite some time now and you started worrying a bit more. He’d went out to get info out of some Russian guys and you prayed that he was okay.

“Thinking about your boyfriend?” Amy teased, making you smile. “I really can’t find anything. How about some pizza?”

As if on cue, the heavy wooden front door opened, revealing Frank covered in blood. He was grumpy, as usual, but you could see that he wasn’t majorly injured.

“Wow, great timing,” you said. “We were just about to order some pizza.”

He raised both of his thumbs at you and Amy before disappearing in the bedroom. Amy sighed, opening her brand new laptop to order the pizza, you assumed.

“How did this begin anyway? I mean, you two are pretty cute with you as the sunshine next to Frank’s big dark cloud but I just can’t wrap my head around how you met.”

“Oh, you want me to tell you a story? Is that what this is?” you smirked.

“Yep! I wanna hear everything about the time mommy and daddy first met.”

“Well, how do I start… So I was a hitwoman, right. I was pretty good. I used to get paid y’know, depending on the target, or I’d work ‘freelance’ kind of like Frank. I had very good deals with the Italian mafia, by the way. So one day I get this deal, right. Half of the money upfront, the other half after the job was done. It’s this weird sketchy ass motherfucker, a child molester, fucking disgusting. At first I wouldn’t accept the money ‘cause I thought, it’s for a good cause, but I got bills to pay.

“So I get in the building. It was hella creepy, it gave me the chills, kids clothes hanging on the walls, some of them torn, even bloody. I remember this little pink fairy costume… it absolutely broke my heart. Anyway, I’m distracted by the clothes then I hear a silenced gunshot. The bullet lands in the wall, right next to my head. I turn around and there’s the fucking Punisher. We fight for like a minute before realizing that we’re here for the same thing. So we finish the guy together and leave. He sees blood on my clothes — a GSW from a previous job and he offers to take me back to his place where his friend can stitch me up properly.”

“So what, you had sex?”

“No!” you snorted. “We talked all night, and realized we were kind of the same; two hollow souls killing to make peace with themselves,” you took a sip of your cooling tea. “You see kid, I was in a very bad place. I was lost, I was desperate, y’know I didn’t know if I had a purpose in this world. I’d already tried to end my life a few times, put a bullet in my mouth,” you tried to swallow the big lump forming in your throat. “But Frank, he—he brought me back from that dark place, you know, just by being by my side. I now have someone I care about, something to live for. I wish I could say that he felt the same though. His family still haunts him, and I’m not saying that I want him to forget them and live for me like I live for him, but I wish I was enough.”

Amy observed uncomfortably as you were struggling to regain your composure. It wasn’t often that you had the occasion to talk about your feelings and pour your heart out to someone, but you were glad to finally let everything out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Sorry kid, this just got a little heavy for you, huh?” you let out a humourless chuckle.

“No, it’s fine. Really. So… you love him?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah I guess I do. But I don’t think he knows that. I’m afraid he’d go running for the hills if I told him and I really don’t want to lose him.”

“Well I can’t tell you what’s in Frank’s head but I can give you a hug, maybe?” she gave you a crooked smile, her arms opened.

“Yeah, I’d like that, come here.”

The blonde girl went around the counter to meet you and wrapped her arms around you.

“Thanks kid. You’re a good listener.”

“Yeah, I know, I get that a lot.”

*

Amy stretched her limbs out as the credits rolled up on the TV screen. It had been the coziest evening you had in a while, watching a stupid movie with pizza and two people you deeply cared about.

“I’m going to bed,” Amy stated. “Good night.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” you said after her, since you were both sleeping on the bed.

You sat up from your comfortable spot in Frank’s arms and started cleaning up the coffee table.

“You barely ate,” Frank pointed out, following you in the kitchen, cans of Coke in hand. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah, it’s just that whole quiet life thing that got me putting on a few stupid unwanted pounds so I’m just, you know, trying to change that,” you answered, still tidying up Dinah’s place.

Frank froze for a moment, as if he had trouble processing the information before chuckling while shaking his head.

“That’s bullshit. I mean, to me at least. I like it,” he slapped and squeezed your ass, making it jiggle in your black sweatpants. “I really, really like it.”

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “Very mature, Castle.”

“Hey, come here a sec,” he sat on a stool. “Look, I, uh, I heard you talking to the kid earlier.”

Your eyes widened as your heart sank in your chest. He heard you. He knew you were in love with him. He was going to leave and never come back and you’d be all alone again. Could you survive another loss? What will you do? Will you go back to wandering around the city as an assassin who claimed to be a vigilante? Your heart rate became quicker. You were scared. You’d just lost everything. You closed your eyes briefly, cursing yourself for even talking to Amy in the first place.

“And, uh, you make me better too. Before, when I was hurt, I could just let myself die, you know. I was waiting for death every morning, every second of the day I hoped it would find me. But now, knowing that I have you waiting for me somewhere, it just—it just gives me strength, you know. You’re more than enough,” he raised a calloused hand to your face, cupping your cheek, and you leaned in it. “You can never lose me. I love you.”

He moved his hand to the back of your neck to pull you in a passionate kiss. At that moment, you were certain your heart was going to explode in your chest. You thought you’d already met the love of your life once, but that wasn’t the case. Frank loved you back. That was all that mattered at the moment. Well maybe a wild Billy in the streets and an even wilder preacher looking guy trying to kill you, but all of this was moved to the back of your mind the second Frank’s lips met yours.

“I wanna hear you say it, (Y/N),” he whispered against your lips. “Say it.”

“I love you, Frank. I love you.”

With a grunt, he picked you up, hands massaging your ass, to lead you to the couch, where he laid you down, his lips still devouring yours. His fingers found the base of your black tank top, reading to remove it.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you whispered. “What about the kid? She’ll hear us! And this is Dinah’s couch!”

His eyes locked on yours, he slid a hand in your underwear feeling your already soaking core, as he circled one of your hard nipples over your top with his other thumb.

“Yeah, I think you’re thinking just like me. Fuck this and fuck that,” two of his fingers entered your tight pussy. “What do you say, doll?”

“Fuck me. Please.”

“Nah, sweetheart,” he took of his shirt in one swift move and unbuckled his belt. “I’m making love to you tonight.”

He undressed you as fast as he could, only leaving you with your panties. He took his time to remove them, leaving kisses all over your legs down to your inner thighs where he bit and kissed every inch of your skin. He hooked two fingers on the sides of your black number, and slowly, very slowly, slid it up your legs to watch as your juices separated between your skin and the fabric of your underwear. Satisfied, Frank’s fingers found their way inside of you again, making you a whimpering mess as he moved them in and out of you, while simultaneously playing with your nipples.

He brought you to the edge of your release only to deprive you of it. He looked content of it, the asshole. You watched as he rose to his feet to remove his pants and his underwear, licking your lips at the sight of his hard cock. You spread your legs, as ready as you’ll ever be. Goosebumps covered your body when you felt the tip of his cock on your throbbing clit.

“Tell me again,” he demanded, his thumb caressing your lower lip.

“I love you, Frank. I love you more than anything,” you said, cupping his face with your hands. He closed his eyes and kissed your palms, leaning into your comforting touch. As he bent down to kiss you, you became more intimate than ever, physically and emotionally. You had hope that everything would be okay as long as he held you in his arms, as long as his skin would be agaisnt yours nothing could get to you, nothing could break you.

He buried his face in the crook of your neck as his thrusts deepened, his grunts sounding like the greatest melody you’d ever heard. The skin of his back was soft under your hands, his own delicately raising your legs to rest them on his shoulders, giving him a better angle to pound into you. The spark that lit up between you had turned into a fire that you could now see in his eyes as he looked at you; helpless, completely giving yourself to him. He looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing on earth when you were a reflection of him.

He switched positions to have you on top. You could now run your hands all over each other’s upper body. You touched and kissed every scar you could reach, letting him know that you loved them as much as you loved him because they’re a part of him and his story. He held your hips to slow down the pace, making the strokes slower and deeper.

Then you felt it. Every muscle in your body tensed up as you finally found your release. Frank kissed you to muffle your moans, still pounding into you to make your orgasm last as long as possible. He came soon after you under the contractions of your pussy, staying inside of you even after it was over.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered against your lips as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“How do you know?” you asked, eyes welling up with emotion.

“‘Cause I got you.”

*

A FEW WEEKS LATER.

The weather seemed to be linked to Frank’s mood. Hell, to his life even. Rain was pouring down on him as he started at the big stone in front of him. His face was blank. He didn’t even know if he should be sad or angry. He had no one else to blame but himself. He’d done that to you.

“Frank, come on,” a soft voice said.

Karen squeezed Frank’s arm to bring him back to reality but it was like he wasn’t there. Curtis and Dinah exchanged a worried look. Frank was broken for good now. There was no fixing him. Not anymore.

“I told you,” Frank finally spoke, eyes still glued to your tombstone. “There’s no warm, cozy ending for me.”

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader #frank castle fic #the punisher fic

[theothersideofhim]

Stan Figures It Out: Part 1 (or, Asmodeus’ Super Fun Beehive Poking Text Log) (or, Nobody)

((So a few days ago me and Sarah went through a lot of really cool character development, but it was all over discord. I’d really like to have a record of it over here and let ya’ll read cuz it was GR8. 

Broke up it up into two parts since it’s so much, and this is part one. Basically Ash ( @ashenheartx ) decided to bother Stan about stealing his idea of making Merlin into a Hell puppet for a hot second, his previous relationship with God, and basically have a big old gay crush on Lucifer. Stan hates all these things and overreacts in true Stan theatrics fashion.

Warnings: NSFW descriptions and general lewd emojis. Ash being Ash. No other triggers far as I know.

Next part to come soon, probably tomorrow.))

Ash:

[txt] ps fuck you for stealing my idea and then failing it btw this is overdue

Stan:

[txt] OH CONGRATULATIONS

[txt] ITS BEEN HOW FUCKING LONG? AND YOU JUST GET THE BALLS TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME?

[txt] WELL WELL WELL AT LEAST I KNOW YOU CAN DO MORE THAN FUCK

Ash:

[txt] well your butt was already spanked figured itd take this long for it to heal

Stan:

[txt] HARDY HAR HAR. YOURE REAL FUNNY YOU KNOW THAT? I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PROMOTION TO HEAD FUNNYMAN

[txt] GUESS WHAT THE CURRENT FUNNYMAN IS DOING?

Ash:

[txt] ruling hell for you

Stan:

[txt] WHA

[txt] NO

[txt]

[txt] I PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF THE WRITING TEAM FOR RICK AND MORTY

[txt] SO KEEP THAT IN FUCKING MIND

Ash:

[txt] you lied so hard and fast

[txt] you STUTTERED IN TEXT

Stan:

[txt] WELL I FIGURED THATS HOW YOU LIKED IT

Ash:

[txt] STUTTERED?

Stan:

[txt] I MEANT HARD AND FAST BUT FROM YOUR TRACK RECORD YOU DO SEEM TO LIKE SHRINKING VIOLETS SO

[txt] SHRINKING SHRIEKING NUNS

Ash:

[txt] that was ONE nun 

[txt] well alright it was mORE than oNE nun but she was special circumstance

Stan:

[txt] MMMMHMMMMM. AND BY THE WAY THAT WAS TIME WELL SPENT GOOD JOB. THAT DIDNT TURN INTO AN INCREDIBLE FAILURE

[txt] WHILE WE'RE ON THE FUCKING TOPIC

Ash:

[txt] he is only a failure FOR NOW

[txt] he's still not a defective one like many others

[txt] and has actual power

Stan:

[txt] Yeah he does I'll give him that

[txt] Can you really blame me for trying to step in and speed things up?

Ash:

[txt] yes

Stan:

[txt] Nope not allowed

Ash:

[txt] it is allowed because now it will take TWICE AS LONG 

[txt] because now he has sex and it's not as much of a pressure point

Stan:

[txt] im sorry im

[txt] IM FUCKING

[txt] gagGING BE RIGHT BACK

Ash:

[txt] ?????????? stop thinking about my son's dick

Stan:

[txt] YOU MENTIONED YOUR SONS DICK and please DON'T act like you DON'T think about it

Ash:

[txt] it's kind of my entire schtick to think about hidden treasure

Stan:

[txt] Isn't the real hidden treasure the dicks we sucked along the way though

Ash:

[txt] see now ive gone from mad to camaraderie and i dont appreciate that 

[txt] some how i doubt you have sucked any dicks tho

Stan:

[txt] OH NO IM THE DEVIL OOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[txt] IVE SUCKED ONE DICK DONT @ ME

Ash:

[txt]  🤔

[txt] proof

Stan:

[txt] UH IM SORRY

[txt] THEY DIDNT REALLY HAVE KIK OR SNAPCHAT BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE

Ash:

[txt] bitch you gave god a bj why isn't this FRONT PAGE news

Stan:

[txt] THERES SOME HIDDEN TREASURE FOR YOU NOW FUCK OFF

Ash:

[txt] GURL WE AIN'T DONE WHO ELSE YOU BLOWIN

Stan:

[txt] RIGHT NOW IM PRETTY SURE EVEN ENTERTAINING THIS CONVERSATION IS CONSIDERED SUCKING YOUR DICK SO YOU??????????

Ash:

[txt] pretty sure my poor dick is flacid and not in your mouth but okay

Stan:

[txt] THE LAST THING YOU WANT IN MY MOUTH IS YOUR DICK

[txt] I'LL SUCK YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING HEAD

[txt] ILL VORE YOU FUCKING TRY ME

Ash:

[txt] honey 

[txt] darling

[txt] you've done worse to me please

[txt] oop kink shamed the devil

Stan:

[txt] If there's anything that can be said for me

[txt] It's that I don't have that as a kink

Ash:

[txt] shocking honestly 

[txt] what with that mouth tum 

[txt] but really not even luci? slacking

Stan:

[txt] YOUSHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT LUCIFERS ENTIRE DICK

Ash:

[txt] why the FUCK would i do that? it's a good dick 

[txt] ESP WHEN IT'S CUTE AND SMALL

Stan:

[txt] LISTEN YOU OVER GLORIFIED FUCK BUDDY

[txt MAYBE I SHOULD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE """""HIDDEN TREASURE""""""

Ash:

[txt] my cute butt because that's not hidden at all and you can ask luci

Stan:

[txt] Is it motherfucker????????????? Is it???? You're telling me you let Lucifer fuck you in the pussy????????????????????????? Because I'm calling bullshit on that. I'm calling bullshit that you ever allow anyone to get that fucking close to you anymore.

Ash:

[txt] well all of that is true, but he is aware of it i am sure. we didn't spontaneously know each other when we dropped out of the sky 

[txt] besides you probably dont share treasure like that because then how do you get to roll around in it when you want to to feel special. you dont. that's like telling people where the candy stash is

Stan:

[txt] YOU REALLY HIDING THE CANDY FOR LIKE 6000 YEARS CHIEF?????[txt] AT THE VERY LEAST I SHOULD GET A TASTE

Ash:

[txt] oh wait did i let the cat out of the bag for you because wow?????????????????? 

[txt] didn't you already know i had a pussy like come on man you've probably found it already 

[txt] it's pretty hard to remember some of that time when we first got down here though

Stan:

[txt] oh no bitch

[txt] i definitely knew

[txt] a shame you don't reMEMBER the fun we had

[txt] but it's been a WHILE AND A HALF

Ash:

[txt] must not have been all that good????????????? 

[txt] dick wasn't bomb apparently 

[txt] besides you alwyas had a thing for luci

Stan:

[txt] I'LL PUT A BOMB IN YOUR ACTUAL ASS I DID NOT ALWAYS HAVE A THING FOR HIM AND STOP CALLING HIM LUCI

Ash:

[txt] you had a THING for luci the first day we hit Hell don't even pretend you didn't 

[txt] luci luci luci 

[txt] how else am i supposed to say his name when he poppin that puss

Stan:

[txt] IM GONNA F CU KING PISSS

[txt] FUCK OFF

Ash:

[txt]  💄💯✨

[txt] and lemme remind you; it pOPS 💦

[txt] if you aren't saying 'luci' when you come im not sure what you're doing with your life 

[txt] but it's the wrong thing, darling 

[txt] i'll pray for you and your weird little obsessive love affair

Stan:

[If Ash is anywhere near the ninth level of Hell at that moment he might hear Stan literally screeching like a raccoon being rammed with a tennis racket. But then shortly after he wouldn't hear anything except for the illusion of Mitski's "Nobody" chorus playing on loop. It was sad and melancholy and repetitive and perfectly summed up the insult Stan WANTED to say about Ash's fucking life, but wasn't able to get past the screaming. Who the fuck cared about Ash's little opinion? Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody....]

Ash:

[Look, Ash is a CACKLIN' instead of being offended because if Stan had meant to camouflage his feelings he had instead loudly broadcasted them. So, as a final goad, he gently hit send one final time. 

[vid] it's grainy like ten years ago small cellphone quality with sound, but it sure is Lucifer getting railed from chest to between thighs. it's less than thirty seconds and includes orgasms that end with dick withdrawing with an aforementioned pop and leak of white fluid 

[txt]  ❤️ 🎵 ttyl ]

Stan:

[Stan was having a HARD TIME OKAY????? He sure as fuck didn't need to be called out by Ash, and he sure as fuck couldn't keep up the illusion as soon as the video came through. That song snapped right out of Ash's reality with the same kind of swiftness as Stan's surprisingly potent jealousy boiling up within him. The phone got thrown on the ground, stomped on, punched a few times, then kicked across the motel room. 

THEN Stan got out a bat and beat the phone within an inch of it's digital life, manifested a hydraulic press and squished the phone with 12 tons of pressure per square inch, before finally mANIFESTING A GERMAN LEOPARD 2A6 TANK AND ROLLING IT THROUGH THE MOTEL LOBBY TO FINALLY DESTORY THE PHONE. 

(And then blast it with the tank's fully traversing rotating gun turret but by then he'd realized he'd never get that image out of his head no matter how much damage he did the phone.)]

#ashenheartx #burningfeathersx #discord shenanigans #long post #tried to make this easy to read as possible but if you have any trouble let me know #TLDR: WHY YOU MAD??? CUZ LUCI'S PUSSY POPS SEVERELY AND YOURS DON'T?????)) #ooc

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 8x02: “What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?”

THEN: Dean’s back from Purgatory. Dean had some assistance from a vampire in getting out. Cas didn’t make it out. Kevin, our new reluctant Prophet. The demon tablet and the vital info it has.

Chicago, Illinois.

Box #1.

An “extremely valuable” bone.

This bank teller was so sweet.

RIP bank teller. Killed by Mr. Vili.

“Is it too much to ask if we can swing by and check on my mom?”

"’Swing by?’ It's a day's drive in the opposite direction. You know that, right?”

Come on, Dean.

“He's [Crowley] probably got the place stacked with bodyguards right now, protecting her so that when you do show up, they'll pounce on you both.” That’s a fair point...but come on, man. Let the kid see his mom.

“Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?” Kevin got you there.

Neighbor, Michigan.

Mrs. Tran!

Dean can pick out all the demons: the mailman and the gardener.

RIP demon. Killed by Dean.

RIP other demon. Killed by Sam.

(Some poor bastard had to find those bodies.)

:’)

Backwards exorcism, NICELY DONE SAM!

RIP Eunis/demon. Killed by Dean.

“Mrs. Tran, your friend was possessed by a demon.”

“Have you ever seen ‘The Exorcist’?”

“Is that what you've been doing all year – watching television?”

pfft.

“Prophet of the Lord, huh? It does have a nice ring to it.” It does!

Kevin already knew that Sam and Dean wouldn’t be able to convince his mom not to come.

“It's not my soul I'm worried about. It's my son's.” Like a good mother. :’)

“Kevin, you want to back us up here? Came all the way down here to pull her out of the fire, and now she wants to jump right back in.”

“Like I can tell her what to do.”

The Trans gotta get tatted.

ohhh

“What, like it's my first tattoo?” YAS, MAMA TRAN’S A LEGEND

Tattoo time!

Mrs. Tran’s getting tattooed like a champ!

I love how she holds out her hand for Kevin to hold. How sweet.

Laramie, Wyoming.

“All right. Positive thoughts.”

Welp. The power of positive thinking did nothing. The tablet’s gone.

Sam and Dean suited up quick.

Clem Smedley.

We’re gonna good cop/extreme bad cop this one.

Purgatory Flashback!!

“Where’s the angel?”

OOOHHHHH.

I’M MCLOSING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RIP monster. Killed by Dean.

What a great scene.

Impala > European car. Any day.

Lyle.

“That your car outside?”

“What's it to you, mail-order?”

EXCUSE ME.

“I got it. I notice you're driving with expired tags, maybe because you just acquired it in a trade, and I'm guessing that means you haven't registered it yet, which means you haven't paid the tax. Is that correct?”

LINDA MOTHERFUCKING TRAN.

“Kevin, average blue book on a 2010 Ferrari F430 Spider?”

“$217,000.”

“And the 5% Wyoming tax?”

“$10,850.”

“$10,000. Something tells me you're the type who might balk at a tax bill that big.”

“W-what is this, an FBI audit?”

“No. But my brother, who happens to work for the Wyoming tax assessor's office could arrange that if he thought something untoward was happening here. So what's it going to be – the tablet or that piece of Eurotrash crap you call a car?”

She’s the best!!!!

Beau.

They have been cordially invited to a supernatural auction.

“I am the right hand of a God, after all – Plutus, specifically.”

“Is that even a planet anymore?”

Aww come on, Dean.

Instead of saying ”fine”, Beau says “copacetic”. Fancy.

“Well, thank you, Mr. Peanut!”

SAM. NO. NOT THE CAR.

“They didn't mean it, baby.”

Damn it, Dean.

HOW MANY FREAKING WEAPONS DID HE TRY TO SMUGGLE IN?

Clever of them to cover up the tablet so no one could read it. Plan A is out, as usual.

Hello again, Crowley.

Mothers and punching the rulers of Hell. My favorite thing.

“Listen to Moose, Squirrel.” Dean’s first “squirrel”.

Oh my god, I almost forgot! Samandriel aka Alfie. (Did Naomi send him?)

“You know, there are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place.”

“Are you one of them?”

“I think too much heart was always Castiel's problem.”

The iconic line.

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT.

Cas probably thinking “Damn it, he found me.”

Their first hug.

“Damn, it’s good to see you. Nice peach fuzz.”

Dean’s so happy to see Cas. He introduces Benny and Cas like they’re at the bar, grabbing some drinks and not in the middle of Purgatory, being hunted at every moment.

“Why'd you bail on Dean?” Benny’s going there immediately. 

“Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I ran away.”

S h i t.

“You bailed out and, what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cas, every night.”

“I know.”

k i l l me.

“Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home.” I could honestly cry.

“Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel-friendly.”

“We'll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.”

And the hits just keep a-coming.

“Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?”

“I understand.”

Cas internally deciding he’d go with Dean as far as he can...before letting him go.

[This, what happened in and out of Purgatory, was when I realized how much Dean loved Cas. Here is where I started shipping Destiel full time. I have no regrets.]

Plan B is hacked credit cards, $2,000 in cash, and a Costco membership card.

“Let's start the bidding with, um, three tons of dwarven gold?” Plan B is out.

Time for Plan C...whatever that may be.

“This isn't the men's room.” lmao Dean.

Mjolnir.

Our bank teller...and Sam’s disturbance at that.

Plan C is freaking gone.

Plan D.

The bid off between Samandriel and Crowley is hilarious.

Kevin’s up for bidding alongside the tablet.

“No, stop! I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401(K), my house.”

“Good effort, Ms. Tran, but I'm afraid this is a little out of your price range.”

Sacrifice > quantity.

“This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has. It's everything. Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?”

Shut up, lmao.

Mrs. Tran wins the bid...and loses her soul.

“Losing my soul – is it going to hurt?”

“Probably.”

“Will I die?”

“No. You'll just wish you were dead.”

That’s coming from the person who had first-hand experience at being soulless.

“Dean, this sucks.”

“Are you kidding me? We're about to close the gates of Hell forever. If you ask me, we got off cheap.”

But it still sucks.

Samandriel offers to take and protect Kevin.

“Oh, no, no. The last time that angels tried to help my son, I watched them die, and Kevin went missing for a year.”

They kept up the continuity there.

I wonder how Mr. Vili was worthy of Mjolnir.

“What are you gonna do with her soul?”

“Whatever I want. I might sell it, or maybe I'll just tuck it away with my other precious objects, let them keep me warm at night.”

Eww, skeevy much?

Crowley, goddamn you.

“And all it cost me was an island in the South Pacific. I love a bargain.” Beau was cheap.

RIP Plutus. Killed by Crowley.

RIP other guy. Killed by Crowley.

Sam is worthy!

RIP Beau. killed by Sam.

“Where'd you get the 5/8 of a virgin?”

RIP Mr. Vili Killed by Sam.

Sam should’ve kept that the Hammer.

Damn it, Dean. You should’ve just exorcised him.

“I know we're not mates, Kevin, but one word of advice – run. Run far and run fast. 'Cause the Winchesters – well, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody.” Big yikes. That’s gonna stick with Kevin and Dean for a good while.

:( Mrs. Tran was catatonic after that.

“It was Crowley, Sam. No matter what meat suit he's in, I should have knifed him. I mean, yeah, it would have sucked, and I would have hated myself, but what's one more nightmare, right?” oof.

Kevin and Mrs. Tran are gone.

GODDAMN IT.

#supernatural #spn summer rewatch #spn liveblog #spn 8x02 #what's up tiger mommy?