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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 months

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stop-motion poetry

Fandom: Masters of the Air Rating: T Word Count: 1295

Summary: the irony of loneliness / is we all feel it / at the same time - Rupi Kaur (Italicized passages are also Rupi Kaur poems.)

i tried to find it but there was no answer at the end of the last conversation

Everywhere was empty, like a museum. Crosby’s skittish fingers kept tracing around inside his pocket, and he finally realized what he was absent-mindedly feeling for: the snow globe.

In his other pocket, he had the intercepted letter. He was treating those words as Bubbles’ last to him, though… would Bubbles have shown him the letter? Maybe, if Crosby had asked. Maybe, because Bubbles might feel he was coming between Crosby and Jean if he didn’t. He could be funny like that. Whenever Jean came up, Bubbles made Crosby feel like Wendy regarded by the Lost Boys—an adult among children.

Wouldn’t you like to know, Bubbles had shot back when Crosby’d repeated the name of the plane. Suddenly, Crosby was the clueless one, Bubbles with the inside baseball on the mystery of women, high on the promise of She’s Gonna. Now, Crosby wasn’t so sure Bubbles was correct; why should he have liked to know? He had no inclination to know what Bubbles knew. What the sky looked like when all the planes in it were falling. Whether you felt an explosion that happened so close, so fast. How long it took to die from a thing like that. Nope, Crosby wasn’t interested.

He preferred to remember Bubbles the way he remembered the snow globe: a little something to carry with him everywhere he went. When the world slanted, something to be plucked from the tilt and, once held, leveled.

—

i hardened under the last loss. it took something human out of me. i used to be so deeply emotional i’d crumble on demand. but now the water has made its exit. of course i care about the ones around me. i’m just struggling to show it. a wall is getting in the way. i used to dream of being so strong nothing could shake me. now. i am. so strong. that nothing shakes me. and all i dream is to soften.

She recalled that he’d had too much to carry, heavy kit bag slung over his shoulder, but when he’d taken the provisions she’d passed him, he’d managed not to crush the donut against the mug of coffee he’d held in the same hand. Herbert had been gentle, that was what Helen recalled. Forward, yes. Obvious, yes—but gentle.

Some of them hadn’t taken the donut, but just about all of them took the coffee, unless they were very young and shied from the bitterness. There had been others before Herbert. Men who’d crossed a room to talk to her, men who’d announced their name and stuck out their hand. Helen had felt their palms on the small of her back when they’d danced. She’d seen their faces up-close, with the bravado gone, had understood herself an as object of lust or a tap on their watch, reminding them time might be running out. Sometimes, she’d only danced with them through words. Sometimes they hadn’t come back from the mission, and she’d wished she’d been kinder.

It was good though, that she and Herbert hadn’t kissed on the mouth. It meant she couldn’t miss that feeling. Missing the smile he’d given her the morning they flew out was plenty hard. Missing the scent of the oil he’d used in his hair, the rosy smudge of lipstick she’d left on his jaw during their dance.

Ever since Major Rosenthal had told her, since he’d said Lieutenant Nash had gone down, Helen’s chest had been a crater she covered over with smiles like old boards, stiff and creaking, threatening to cave in. She felt guilt, because Herbert had called her “Helen of Troy.” She hadn’t sent them, but she was too smart and too good at punishing herself not to figure that she had, in a way, launched those ships of the air. She represented the innocent, to them. Sisters and sweethearts. To fight for her or something like her, they would all go, go by the hundreds. One less, now.

At the next dance, Helen decided, marooned on the grass by Rosenthal, she would shake her head and stay at the table.

—

yesterday when i woke up the sun fell to the ground and rolled away flowers beheaded themselves all that’s left alive here is me and i barely feel like living

Dawn came. Bucky wasn’t convinced the sun came with it. Through the windscreen and the cigarette smoke trapped in the cockpit, the sky changed colour, definitely paler than night as it arrived before his itchy eyes, but if there was light, he didn’t register it. Like a telephone call in another room, it wasn’t for him.

He wanted to drink himself into the plane. Become so liquid that the seat absorbed him, that a thin trickle of whatever was left of him dribbled into the fuel tank. Then he could be burnt up. Sic transit Major Egan: He was an unpredictable drunk, and a more successful flirt than he’d deserved to be. He’d had a best friend, once. That man—that better man—was gone and nobody was lookin’ for him. Bucky was looking pretty damn hard in the bottom of this flask, but so far, no luck.

The horizon turned blue, which was bullshit. Blue was for eyes. Bucky laughed harshly at nature’s mistake.

“Hey, Curt,” he called over his shoulder, loose grin sliding all over his mouth. “Curt!”

But that had been a different today-is-tomorrow. Bucky blinked more tears back into his eyes, like he’d been doing all night. His smile withered. Too much water. Not enough light.

—

in order to fall asleep i have to imagine your body crooked behind mine spoon ladled into spoon till i can hear your breath i have to recite your name till you answer and we have a conversation only then can my mind drift off to sleep

It was usually that Curt’s body did what his mind would’ve urged him not to if it’d been paying attention. As the plane swept towards the ground and his body, shoved back against the pilot’s seat, couldn’t slow the descent, his mind took the controls and slowed time. He began to be able to separate the breaths in his rapid panting. He could think of stuff that wasn’t this, climb into the top turret of his own brain. He could see that it was a stupid fuckin’ idea to try to land a Fort with a belly full of bombs while his hands distantly and futilely kept trying to pull up and slow the glide. His body knew how it ended: in an orange ball, fire round as a cloud. His mind reached out and tugged up another reality like a blanket.

A blue hour, walking the wing, the air damp and cool, but it didn’t matter because he was warm from drinking, but not so much drinking that he couldn’t strike a taunting Bucky hard and sharp with a clean, swift hook, but not so hard and sharp that Bucky didn’t still smile after it connected, but not such a big smile that Curt was in danger of thinking it was real. The smile. The memory.

The plane battered through the trees.

“Oh god.”

He tugged up another place, another time. Dickie with a whole, smooth face. Buck’s voice coming down the line, callin’ Curt Bucky’s little spoon. Smilin’. Sleeping in a Scottish bed that smelled like wool and the fire that’d burnt down in the hearth. He’d been wound up so tight after the crash-landing, scoring those rows of cabbages from the earth. He hadn’t thought he’d be able to surrender to anyone, ever, including sleep, but sleep had come eventually.

“DICKIE—”

Yes, sleep had come.

#my writing #Masters of the Air #MotA #MotA fic #Harry Crosby #Joseph 'Bubbles' Payne #Helen (Masters of the Air)#Herbert Nash #John 'Bucky' Egan #Gale 'Buck' Cleven #Curtis Biddick

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welcometololaland · 11 months

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Round Up - Part 2

Thanks to everyone who participated this week. The theme was: rec a feel-good fanwork (a fanwork that gives you the warm fuzzies). If I've missed any, please let me know.

Disclaimer: This is a compilation of works i've been tagged in or which appear in the #fic rec friday tag relevant to the weekly theme. The recommendations below do not represent a personal curation of works. Please read at your own discretion. Heed tags and ratings on each individual work. Keep yourself safe, friends!

911 Lone Star (Part 2)

Fics (Part 2)

The Holiday by @flickerthenflare

The Ring-In by ifyoustay and Lolaland (me)

The Sex Pollen Incident by @hoko-onchi-writes

The Storm In Me by foggynite

these moments with you by @chaotictarlos

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

to love is to undress our names by @rmd-writes

to which there is no reply by @reyesstrand

What you see will be by @thevenstar

With love, your soulmate by @chaotictarlos

GIFs (part 1)

"1.03 -> 3.08" by @3416

"Can I say yes now?" by @3416

"Most Likely To": Station 126 set by @staarfires

"Text me" by @aarondingle

3am at the tarlos loft by @ropoto

Begged and Borrowed Time by @3416 based on the fic of the same name by @iboatedhere

Carlos and social media by @tailoredshirt

Carlos gifset by @rafael-silva

Carlos Reyes & Iris Blake by @weewooshows

Carlos’ Vows by @guardian-angle22

come on nance by @angeltk

every paul outfit by @guardian-angle22

favourite ships: tarlos by @cobbbvanth

firefighter paul strickland by @ayan-sukkhapisit

food as a love language by @nelsonnicks

Grace & Judd Ryder by @graceryderdaily

I'm right here by @tylerposey

knowing glances and little comments by @annefraid

marjan 3x9/4x9 parallel set by @tailoredshirt

marjan rupi kaur set by @rafael-silva

meeting the loves of their lives at the honky tonk by @lonestardaily

miracle by @guardian-angle22

paramedic mom and her paramedic children by @tailoredshirt

paul set by @scullyblr

paul strickland + trans flag colors by @genderqueerbuck

paul strickland + true colors by @floralbuckleys

perhaps the world ends here by @maxbegone

physical comfort by @tailoredshirt

proposal face squish by @3416

sleepy by @ropoto

soulmate by @tylerkennedys

Swing for the Fences, Run to the Line by @3416 based on the fic of the same name by @iboatedhere

tarlos + blue by @ayan-sukkhapisit

tarlos deleted s4 kisses by @tarlossource

tarlos dancing in the background by @angeltk

Tarlos dancing parallel by @annefraid

tarlos engagement kiss by @rosedavid

Tarlos Holding Onto Each Other by @cobbbvanth

tarlos hugs by @chaotictarlos

#fic rec friday #fic rec friday round up #part 2 #911 lone star

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luimagines · 2 years

Note

HEY READER PAYING RAVIO TO GO ON A DATE WITH THEM AND HE TAKES IT FOR THE MONEY BUT ENDS UP ACTUALLY REALLY AND ENJOYING HIMSELF AND DISCOVERS HE LIKES THE READERS COMPANY A LOT ND REALIZES HES BIG INTO READER PLS PLS PLS PAID DATING SERVICE TURNED ROMCOM

🐰

....You know what? Yes. Let's do this.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

“I need you to be my boyfriend for a night.” Were the first words you said to him when you entered his house.

Confused, conflicted and a bit flattered, he makes a face.

You are undeterred. “I’ll give you thirty rupies.”

Well doesn’t that sweeten the deal. Ravio goes to open his mouth-

“I’ll double it if you don’t ask any questions.”

“Deal.” He grins and you both shake on it.

You came in your finery, dressed to the nine and Ravio suddenly feels that you are completely out of his league. Even though he’s a bit hot under the collar, he has you on his arm and you both walk into what appears to be a rather extravagant party.

“I know we agreed no questions.” He says slowly.

You seem tense, like you’re about to walk into a battle field or that you’re prey out in the open watching for any predator ready to strike. It doesn’t help Ravio’s confidence and he hold onto you tighter.

“It’s just two hours.” You reply. “We need to mingle pretend we’re dating and then we can both leave and I’ll give you agree amount.”

“That sounds shady.” Ravio mutters. “But alright. Fine. Two hours.”

You nod and squeeze his hand. He’s not prepared for the way it squeezes his heart as well. “Thank you Ravio.”

You say it so tenderly. His heart beats a bit faster. What’s happening to him? He thought he would be able to hold himself better than this.

You both walk in. You hand your invitation to the doorman and walk in like you own the place. Ravio tries to match your energy and no doubt you both command the attention once people see you hand in hand. Ravio turns to you, curious to your reaction to the people who stare at them both. He is not hiding from the their faces. Nope. That would be absurd.

You however, seem to have expected this and you walk in with a smile on your face. You turn to him, giving him the most doe eyed, smitten expression he’s ever seen on any one. He’s own face softens.

“We’re here to have a good time.” You say. “Don’t worry.”

Ravio is inclined to believe you.

Luckily for him, the people don’t really come to bother either of you. He knows they’re watching. He knows he’s there for appearances only. He knows you have your reasons for inviting him, for asking to play the charade and for keeping silent throughout the whole ordeal.

You both end up by the food table. You set yourself up with a plate and Ravio nibbles on what little he feels that he can actually stomach.

“You look beautiful.” He says in a hushed tone. It’s only barely heard over the music. To his utter delight and amusement, you flush with embarrassment.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You say, not quite meeting his eyes. “You clean up quite nicely.”

Ravio tilts his head and holds out his hand, abandoning his food. “Dance with me. You want to sell this act, right?”

You pause and look at your plate then at him and Ravio can feel his bundling nerves get tighter and tighter until-

“Alright.” You put your hand in his. It’s soft. “Lead the way, Bunny Boy.”

His nerves disappear like that. “Don’t call me that.”

“Stop wearing the hood.”

“Never.”

“Shame.” You tease. “I suppose only I get to see your handsome face.”

Ravio coughs and leads you to the dance floor.

The songs the play are pleasant enough. No one really starts dancing except for the two of you. Ravio wants to kick himself for this. He really doesn’t care for this much attention.

The songs stops before it slips into something faster. You get a playful gleam in your eyes, the only warning before you drag Ravio into a dance that matches the pace. Now Ravio has never been one to have graceful foot work but you make it seem effortless.

Ravio is entranced by the way you move your body. The way he seems to fit against your perfectly as you move in tandem. He gets lost in the moment. Enough so that he doesn’t realize when the next song starts- this one faster than the last.

You match the pace once more and this song only goes faster and faster until the end. You give up. You take his hand and just spin the two of you around with wild abandon, laughing and grinning and being the happiest Ravio has ever seen you.

You break up apart, gasping for air, both giggling and laughing like lunatics. You wrap your arms around his neck and lean into him. Ravio is... surprised.. by how nice it feels.

“That was fun.” You laugh some more and try to calm the bubbles of giggles that break free from your lips. Ravio’s gaze dips down somewhat and he gulps. They look soft. You look breathtaking. And he suddenly gets the urge to do something reckless.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in!” Someone else calls out.

Ravio sees you stiffen. Oh dear, Ravio grabs what appears to be a strong drink from a passing butler. Trouble.

“Hello Darling. I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight at all.” A sleazy looking man from just beyond Ravio’s pay grade walks up to you. He gets uncomfortably close.

Ravio can feel how you press yourself closer to him and his arm wraps itself around your waist instinctually. His other hand swirls his newly acquired drink.

“It was a mandated thing.” You reply, resting your head on Ravio’s shoulder. “I couldn’t have avoided it, even if I tried.”

“My name is Ravio.” He says in his business tone. “A pleasure. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“We wouldn’t have.” The man responds and give no other information. Ravio is put off by it. But he’s dealt with worse customers. Such is the life of retail.

“Come on Darling, I wanted to talk about our last fight-”

“No.” You say sternly. “I said what I said. And I’m done.”

Ravio’s grip on your tightens. The atmosphere turns a bit heavy and he’s never been a fighter. Actually if Ravio is being honest he’s always been one to run from a fight. So he has no idea how to disengage from this conversation.

“Look.” The man says stubbornly. “There’s no way your with this bootlicker-”

Excuse him? What did he just say?

“Let’s go talk and we can work it-”

Ravio throws the drink in the man’s face. Shocked by his own impulsive actions, he reaches down to grab your hand and begins to run away. You’re also too shocked to say anything in rebuttal and together you run away from the man, from the party and end up halfway down the street before either of think to even look back.

Ravio pants and looks around. The sun has already set and the night is cold. He looks at you and sees how your hands have landed on your bare arms. He takes off his coat and places it over you, still looking for any sign that the man decided to come after them.

“Are you crazy?” You hiss.

Ravio’s brain flatlines. “Uh-”

“Do you know not who he is? Do you not realize what you’ve done?” You step closer to him and get chest to chest with him once more.

“Um...” He says intelligently.

“Do you know not how long I’ve been wanting to do that?!” You yell and kiss him then and there.

Ravio’s breath leaves him for a second and it takes a minute longer for him to come back into the present. You’re still ranting, your hands holding his jacket around your frame.

“Oh my god! Did you see the look on his face?” You beam and begin to double over with laughter. “He looked so pissed. Serves him right. God, what a creep. I knew he’d be here. I’m so happy I chose you. I know we had an agreement but that was better than anything I could have hoped for. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. You could ask for anything-”

“Even a second date?”

You pause in your tirade and look at him.

He’s blushes and scratches the back of his head. Once again he struggles to maintain eye contact but he sneaks hopeful glances every other second.

You also blush and begin to fluster. “Yes” You say. “Even a second date.”

Ravio beams. “No charge this time.”

Your laugh and Ravio is inclined to think the night’s only begun.

#legend of zelda #ravio x reader #linked between worlds #help #how do i tag this?#linked universe #?#maybe?#i don't know

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links-in-time · 5 months

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The Knight and the Blacksmith

My first attempt at writing a gay smutty fanfic, though I'm pretty pleased with it.

Male character uses he/him pronouns | Aged up Botw Link | MLM | Gay sex | fluffy

ADULT CONTENT MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Telyn was a young Hylian who had left a small forge in a village in the middle of nowhere in the Hebra hills, to take his skill as a blacksmith to Tarry Town. The journey had been long, traversing the northern paths of Hyrule, through the lava fields of Eldin, to reach Akkala.

He carried little with him, only his trusty tools, a few rupies and enough food for the journey. Telyn plucked an apple from a nearby tree as he walked the road past the old fortress towards the town. There were plenty of signs pointing the way and since the efforts to rebuild Hyrule continued, the roads were better maintained. He paused as he crested a small rise and took in the view. Telyn blinked against the midday sun, shielding his eyes with his free hand while hoisting his pack onto his shoulder with the other.

The expanse of Tarry town lay before him. The original dwellings on top of the island, as well as the newer buildings spreading out into the countryside. Telyn's heart fluttered. At last he was almost there. He was aching to find a stable or inn to stay at, having camped mostly in the wild on his journey.

Something in the sky caught his attention. Telyn turned his head to where the skyview tower dwarfed the surroundings. A bright blue flash light up at its base then a few moments later a small object took off and began to glide down towards the town. Telyn tracked its decent as it gently landed in the older section of Tarry Town. It clearly wasn't a bird, no bird he had ever seen could glide like that. And it wasn't big enough to have been a Rito. Telyn shrugged, adjusted his pack again and continued on his way.

The gates of Tarry Town loomed over him as Telyn made his way across the land bridge. Excitement started to grow within him as he took on the new sights. People went here and there from building to building, chatting or carrying supplies. The Goddess fountain glowed with Holy Light, catching the sun's rays as they danced across the water. For a moment Telyn was transfixed. The statues eyes gazed down at him. Her benevolent smile lifting his spirits. Something moved in the corner of his vision, drawing his attention away from the statue.

A figure moved from the corner of the nearest building and walked towards the Inn. Had they been watching him. Telyn didn't think that was too out of the ordinary. He was a new face and there was new people arriving in Tarry Town all the time. People had probably grown used to seeing new faces all the time.

The sight of the Inn was a welcome one and Telyn waisted no time in making his way to the door and entering the bright warm lobby. A fire was burning in a hearth on the other side of the room, tables were filled with people chatting and drinking together, while a waitress flitted here and there collecting empty mugs and replacing them with full ones from her trey. A group of people was gathered near the middle of the room. It seemed they were all talking at the figure who had entered ahead of Telyn. He turned his attention to the front desk and set to work booking a room and an evening meal. His bag was soon taken away to his room and he was told to find a seat and food would be brought to him soon.

While Telyn waited at his lone table, the group in the middle began to separate. He gathered from overhearing their chatter that the figure was none other than Link, the Hero of Hyrule himself. Now without his hooded cloak, Telyn noticed the shaggy golden hair and bright blue eyes he had heard about. He had to admit it, Link was quite attractive. He was slim but well built, and his scarring was clearly visible on the left side of his face.

Telyn found himself wondering exactly how far down the hero's body the scars went.

He shook his head as a waitress brought him some supper and a mug of ale. He thanked her and eagerly dug into the stew and fresh seeded roll on his plate. With a full stomach and a drowsy head Telyn made for the stairs and bed. He was surprised however to bump into someone coming the other way down the corridor. To his mortification it was Link.

"L, Sir Link!" He stammered, "I'm sorry."

"No please don't be. I wasn't watching where I was going. Just looking for my room and got turned around. Also just Link is fine. The Sir isn't important." Link reassured him.

Telyn was once again amazed by Link's features, in the candlelit hallway his messy fringe cast shadows across his face. The evidence of his past life painted across his cheek and his left ear. Telyn also noticed they were oldy similar in height, though his own shoulders were broader from years spent at the forge.

For a moment he was unsure what to do next. Though stepping out of the way would have been a good start.

"Sorry, er Link." Why was he suddenly feeling so bashful? Was it because Link's rather dazzling blue eyes looked back at him with such little concern. Such calm was held within those eyes, and yet if what little was known about the hero's life was to be believed, then a terrible and painful history lay behind.

"I should (cough) let you get to your room."

"Actually I think this is mine here," he said, nodding to the door to his left.

"Ah, well I think that one is mine," Telyn replied, nodding to the next door along.

Link smiled and let out a snort of laughter. "Well, I guess we should bid each other goodnight."

The two stepped aside and walked towards their respective doors. Telyn unlocked his room and stepped inside. Unaware that Link had paused outside his own room, a question poised on his lips.

Telyn was a big hit in Tarry Town, the forge had only been running for a year or so. Everything they had needed had been brought in from elsewhere up until that point. But now they had two smiths more could be produced and quicker.

It was hot, backbreaking work, but it was work Telyn loved. His mother always said he had been born to swing a hammer. That and play the violin but somehow that one had never happened. During the day he fulfilled many orders for knives, utensils, tools and repairs. Until the day was almost over. The sun began to dip towards the west and the other smith laid down his hammer and started to close up his end of the forge for the night. Telyn was almost ready to call it a day as well when he saw Link approaching.

"Sir, I mean Link. What can I do for you?"

"Well I'm hoping you can help me with this." He held out two pieces of a broken spear in each hand. Talyn stared down at the broken shaft for a moment, then blinked once.

"It's a spear?"

"Yes, I broke it a few days ago and haven't had a chance to get it mended." Link explained.

Telyn was a little confused. He was a blacksmith and Link could clearly see he was a blacksmith. However the shaft of the spear was made of wood.

"Erm, I'm not sure you realise but blacksmiths don't tend to work with wood. You need a weapons specialist or a carpenter to fix that one for you."

An imperceptible blush spread out from the tips of Link's ears. He looked down at the two halves of his broken weapon. After a moment he chuckled nervously to himself.

"Ah, of course. How silly of me. You know I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders! Zelda tells me constantly."

"Though I do know there's a carpenter in the lower village. He may have closed up shop for the day but its always worth a try. I'm just sorry it wasn't something I could help you with." Telyn suggested. He couldn't help but notice Link's pink cheeks and felt warmth start to rise in his own face.

"No I'm sorry for bothering you. Erm, have a good evening."

Turning on the spot, Link put the broken weapon back inside his slate and walked a little hurriedly towards the other side of town. Telyn shook his head, silently wishing Link a good evening as well.

I'm the days that followed, Link brought several more items for Telyn to fix. This time he had clearly realised his mistake and only brought items made of metal. A cracked pauldron, a sword with a missing pomel, requests for arrow tips, then most recently some bent cutlery Telyn had a sneaking suspicion had in fact come from the Inn.

"I borrowed them to fix something else, but ended up almost breaking these too." Link explained, scratching the back of his neck as he spoke and avoiding eye contact with Telyn the whole time.

Telyn was starting to suspect Link's reasons for so many broken objects weren't completely true. But who was he to judge the man. After all he always paid in advance, he tipped well and Telyn had to admit he liked seeing Link on an almost daily basis. He smiled, reaching out a soot stained hand, catching Link's hesitant eye.

"I'll see what I can do with these now. Hopefully we can get them back to the kitchen before the staff notice they're missing!"

Link's face brightened and his nervous smile became more genuine lighting up his eyes. He handed over the fistful of cutlery and Telyn set to work heating and reshaping the bent knives and forks. It was quick and easy work and not for the first time Link stayed and watched Telyn work. He could feel the Hero's eyes on him at all times, as he pumped the bellows, as he warmed the metal. With each hammer blow and bead of sweat which ran down his face and arms, Telyn felt Link's gaze on him. He knew he should feel embarrassed or observed, but something about the warmth with which Link watched him make him feel comfortable.

At last the cutlery was fixed and it was time for Telyn to close up and head back to the Inn. Since they were both headed in the same direction Link waited for Telyn to finish before accompanying him across the square to the Inn.

"We should probably make sure no one notices you returning these," Telyn mused.

"I'm sure it'll be alright," Link replied, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets.

"Well I wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

They decided to go round to the kitchen entrance and put the things back where they had come from. The sun had almost completely set behind the mountains and the outside lamps were waiting to be lit. They had the cover of darkness to hide them. Link lead Telyn to the back door and pushed it open for him. Fortunately no one was around at the moment so they slipped inside unnoticed. They made quick work of finding the right drawer and replacing the repaired cutlery, looking just like new beside the rest.

Just as quickly and silently as they had entered, the two men left the kitchen and closed the door behind them. The ridiculous rush of their silly adventure overtook them and they laughed together. Though quietly, they chuckled and Telyn leaned his back against the building.

"Thank you for your help," Link remarked, regaining his composure.

"It's my pleasure."

"Oh! I haven't paid you yet!" Link gasped, patting himself down for his pouch of rupies.

"Don't worry about it. This one's on me," Telyn insisted.

"Don't be ridiculous. I paid you to fix the other things."

"I'm serious, forget about it."

Link paused, clearly thinking. Then he faced Telyn again. A hint of mischief in his smile.

"Well, if you won't let me pay you. Then at least let me thank you."

Telyn was unsure what he meant, Link had already thanked him. Ridiculous as this day was turning out to be, Link was being stranger still. Then Telyn became aware that Link was approaching him. There were only a few feet between them and Telyn had his back against the wooden building. A small breeze ruffled his hair and tugged at the hero's tunic as he stepped closer, closing the distance between them until only a few inches remained. Link's eyes found Telyn's locking them in a gentle gaze. Telyn felt Link place his hand on the wall beside his head then lean in a little closer. Telyn's heart skipped, he realised he had stopped breathing and gasped involuntarily. Link brushed a little hair out of Telyn's face and let his fingers trail down his cheek.

"Will you let me thank you," Link breathed, barely a whisper audible only to Telyn. It was all he could do to nod in response. Slowly, maintaining that mesmerising eye contact Link closed the gap and pressed his lips against Telyn's.

A symphony of sparks lit up inside Telyn's chest. His heart beating so loud he was afraid Link might hear. Hylia! He was afraid someone else might hear!

Link's lips were softer than Telyn had imagined (yes he had imagined, but never dared dream) though the fingers caressing his cheek were coarse, not dissimilar to his own. The kiss lingered, then just as Telyn felt Link was about to pull away, he slid a hand up behind his head and pulled him back. A moan escaped Link's lips at the surprise pressure. Telyn felt the hero smile against his lips as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slid out and left a wet trail across Telyn's lower lip. Telyn replied in kind and an instant later their tongues were dancing, wet lips sliding over each other.

Their bodies pressed against each other's, Link pushing Telyn into the wall ever so slightly. One hand firmly planted beside his head, the other snaking up his torso and onto his chest, leaving little trails of heat as they went. After what could either have been minutes or hours, Link drew back. Telyn felt his absense immediately, the chill of evening filling in the space where Link's body had been.

"We should probably head inside," Link suggested. Though his expression betrayed his thoughts. He didn't want to go anywhere. But it would soon grow colder and the heat of their bodies alone wouldn't be enough to keep them warm. Besides, they were both growing hungry and Telyn had done a full day's work.

Telyn nodded as they both made their way back to the front door. For an instant Link's hand was in Telyn's, but by the time they were inside it was gone. Telyn resumed his usual seat and Link took a trey of food up to his room. This wasn't unusual, Telyn had noticed that link preferred to eat alone. He didn't blame him, the poor man got too much unsolicited attention at supper time.

Attention. Telyn's mind reeled with the fresh memory of Link's kisses. The sensation of his tongue sliding over his, the pressure of his body crashing into his. He closed his eyes for a moment and relived it all over and over, trying to remember every detail.

After supper he was soon standing at his own door, wondering why he was hesitating. He glanced to his right at Link's closed door and sighed. Opening the door to his room Telyn was met with an unexpected sight. Link stood leaning against the window sill which was open, timidly staring at the floor in front of him.

"Your um, your window was open, so I climbed out and around. I hope you don't mind." Link said sheepishly.

"I er, I don't mind." Telyn stammered. He closed the door and took off his jacket, hanging it on a peg on the wall. "But I really need to wash, I'm covered in soot and dirt."

Link nodded but it seemed to dawn on them both what this meant. There was a wash basin on a stand in each room, a pitcher full of hot water waited for Talyn and a bar of soap. He eyed it longingly, then looked back at Link, his expression hardly shifting.

"I'm intruding. I can leave..." Link was about to swing his leg over the windowsill when Telyn put up a grubby hand to stop him.

"No, please. Stay. I um... I won't be long." Telyn insisted. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable?" he suggested, almost about to gesture to the bed. Link nodded wordlessly, moving back into the room and walking to the end of the bed where he gingerly sat down.

Heart pounding and his ears now a deep red, Telyn turned to the basin and poured half a pitcher into it. He took a little deep breath before pulling his tunic and his undershirt up over his head and letting them drop to the floor. There was a small mirror on the wall and behind him Telyn could see link watching him. His eyes roamed over his wide shoulders and down his back to the top of his trousers. Telyn could see the blush on his own cheeks and the heat had returned to his core.

He washed as quickly as he could without seeming to be in a hurry. Scrubbed his hands until they were pink then ran a soapy cloth over his body before washing away the suds. Movement behind him caught his attention. Link had got to his feet and was walking up behind Telyn. He froze, his hands on the edges of the table.

"You're incredibly handsome, you know that?" Link uttered, his eyes hooded as he stared at Telyn's back. Their eyes met in the mirror for a second then Link returned his gaze. Droplets of water were running down Telyn's back. Link reached forward and brushed one with his hand. Telyn shuddered at the sensation, but to his relief Link didn't stop. He began to slide his hands over Telyn's wet back and down his arms, pulling him closer until they were touching again. Telyn sighed and closed his eyes. He felt Link's hair brush his shoulder as he dipped his chin close to Telyn's neck.

"I can leave if you want me to. But if you would like me to stay. I would like that very much." Link whispered in his ear.

The hairs on the back of Telyn's neck stood on end and a gentle throb made its way down his torso to his groin. By the gods he wanted Link to stay. At this point he wanted to tear both of their clothes off and see if Link was a master between the sheets as well as on the battlefield. (Oh he should be so lucky)

"I want you to stay," Telyn replied, running his hand through links hair. "Link, I want you to stay."

With Telyn's permission, Link lowered his face and planted a kiss on Telyn's neck, heat blooming at the spot. Link started to trail kisses around Telyn's neck and shoulders, his hands moving to his hips, just above the waist of his trousers. Telyn leaned back into Link's kisses a little. At that moment a wave of desire hit him as he felt the pressure pushing into his arse from within Link's trousers.

Link's hands worked themselves beneath Telyn's trousers so that he could rub circles into his hips, gradually getting closer and closer to his groin. Telyn rolled his hips reflexively, accidentally grinding against Link's growing erection, elisciting a sultry grown from the man.

"I want you Telyn," Link breathed, still massaging his hips with his hands.

"I want you too," Telyn replied, desperate to turn around and capture link in a passionate kiss. But he was surprisingly strong for his size and he had pinned Telyn to the table.

At his response, Link bucked his hips forward, the force almost knocking the pitcher over.

"Link!" Telyn gasped.

Releasing his grip on the table and grabbing Link by the hips. This only spurred Link on. His hands roamed further until they reached the creases between Telyn's legs and hips. He searched until his fingers brushed the base of Telyn's erection. Telyn gasped again. Link's hands were calloused but by Hylia did they feel good against his throbbing dick. Part of his mind couldn't believe what was happening. The other half told the first to shut up and enjoy every second of this bliss.

"Oh Hylia!" Telyn swore, as Link wrapped one of his hands around his cock.

"I'm afraid you'll have to settle for me today," Link replied teasingly.

Slowly he started to move his fist up and down. His slightly damp hands sliding over Telyn's hardness. The Hero of the Wild was in his room pleasuring him. If anything he thought it should be the other way round. Hadn't Link already done enough for Hyrule, wasn't it his turn to give something back. This thought dominated Telyns mind so much so that he shifted out of Link's grip and turned around to face him. His trousers already half way to his knees, he shuffled out of them and kicked his boots off for good measure. Then he returned his attention to Link, who looked a little surprised but no less eager. Something crossed Telyns mind as he approached link, backing him towards the bed.

"Did you really break all those things by accident?" He asked slyly. The corner of Link's mouth twitched. He had been caught.

"Not quite so by accident no," he admitted, eyes hitting the floor as his legs hit the bed. He almost lost his footing, but put a hand back to steady himself.

Telyn chuckled. Link, the legendary hero, had purposefully broken things to bring to his forge in order to what? Watch him work? Spend time with him? Pluck up the courage to say what was really on his mind?

An animalistic urge came over Telyn and he pushed Link the rest of the way back down onto the bed. Link laughed and gasped, tilting his head to look back up at Telyn.

"Well," he began, eyeing the bulge in Link's trousers. "I think it's time I thanked you for being such a consistent customer."

Telyn climbed onto the bed after Link, pulling off his boots, unbuttoning his trousers and sliding his hands up and over his chest. Link shuddered and stiffened under Telyn's touch, his eyelids fluttering with each new sensation. Telyn pulled off Link's trousers and pants exposing him. Telyn couldn't help by smile.

"Look how happy you are to have me. You need me to take care of this for you?" He asked in a low tone which sent Link's mind reeling.

"I..." Link began, but Telyn didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence. He moved so his head was over Link and licked the tip of his cock. Link shuddered and gripped the sheets. Telyn took that as a good sign and continued. He grasped Link's cock in one hand and spread his lips over the tip, letting a long string of saliva drip down Link's length Telyn began to pump his fist up and down, gently at first but the more Link reacted the faster he wanted to go.

"Oh Telyn," Link uttered, eyes firmly closed, hands balled into fists beside him as Telyn worked away on him. Telyn was too busy to reply, most of Link's cock in his mouth as he sucked and licked Link coaxing out more groans and moans. When he took all of Link's length, Link gasped and almost tried to sit up, his body shook and the hot core of his being throbbed from the sensation. Telyn released Link and captured his lips in a deep passionate kiss. He slid his tongue inside Link's mouth so he could get a little of his own taste.

A moment later Link's heartbeat had slowed slightly, as he held Telyns shoulder above him. He smirked and in one quick movement he rolled them both over so that Link was now on top. He pulled his tunic over his head allowing Telyn's eyes to roam over his torso. Noticing the scars running up and down his body, Telyn reached out to stroke Link's abs.

"I uh, I don't suppose you have any lube on hand?" Link asked, the question sent Telyn's mind racing as his head hit the pillows. He kicked himself as he realised the answer.

"I'm, sorry. I wasn't really expecting..." He trailed off, disappointment creeping into his features.

"That's okay I have a little in my pouch, but it's on the floor with my trousers, and what's left of my composure!"

Both men laughed as Link heaved himself off of Telyn for a moment. While Link when to his things, Telyn played with himself for a moment. He closed his eyes waiting for his lover to return. Link was gone for less than five seconds, soon he was sitting on the mattress again, a small jar in one hand. He scooped out a slick looking white substance which smelled faintly of something musky before gently slathering his cock. Telyn's heart started skipping, his body tensed and untesnsed as anticipation wracked him. Link noticed Telyn's hand on his cock.

"Couldn't wait five seconds for me?" He teased, batting his hand away and replacing it with his own lube covered one. Oh its was a glorious feeling, Link's fist was strong and tight and the warm lube slid perfectly over his shaft.

"Please don't stop!" Tekyn managed to blurt out.

"Well, you took me so well earlier. Think you can handle a little more?" Link asked, his eyes finding Telyn's through his own mop of blond hair.

"More?" Telyn asked, but he knew Link's meaning and he buzzed with the anticipation of it. "But I thought you...?" He started.

"Shh, you'll have your turn with me later. Right now, I think I want to fill you up with my cock."

Telyn couldn't believe Hylia's chosen hero had uttered such a filthy sentence. But utter it he had and Telyn knew what his answer was.

"I want that more than anything, Link."

Link smiled, he liked hearing his own name, he almost purred at the sound of it on Telyn's quivering lips. Link pulled Telyn's legs either side of him and pushed himself forward until they were less than inches apart, Telyn tensed agin but relaxed as Link slid his middle finger over his balls and down towards his arse. He uttered a few incomprehensible sounds as Link probed his hole with his slick dick. He made sure to be slow and gently pushed a finger inside to begin with, slowly probing back and forth.

Telyn's tensions began to lossen at Link's touch. His rough finger inside him was spectacular, the lube felt amazing and so was Link. Nothing else mattered as Link withdrew his finger and lined himself up.

"You gonna take me?" He asked again, teasing Telyn just a little longer. By the goddess he had been waiting for this for days.

"Yes."

"You gonna take me good?"

"Yes, Link!"

Link thrust his hips forward and slid his cock inside an inch. Both men shuddered and moaned at the feeling. Telyn was tight and Link was firm. Gently but oh so eagerly he pushed a little more, rocking his hips slightly to enhance the sensation. Telyn's arse tightened for a second then relaxed, allowing Link to enter him further.

"You're taking me so well. Can you take just a little more? He asked, placing a hand down on Telyn's abdomen.

"Yes." Was all Telyn could manage to say.

Link thrust forward, filling Telyn until their pelviss met. Link allowed Telyn to rest for just a moment before bucking his hips forward and rolling into a steady rhythm.

Telyn's eyes fluttered to the ceiling but he kept looking back at Link. Beautiful Link with his slender but beautifully muscular body. His hair waved from side to side, occasion blocking his view of the man's face as he rocked back and forth. Shaking with pleasure and desire, Telyn reached up to cup Link's face with his hand. Link turned and kissed his palm before his eyes flashed wide and he kicked into another speed, ramming into Telyn until the two of them were chocking on breathless groans.

"Link!" Telyn gasped.

"You like it there?"

"Link...! I... I'm gonna cum!" Telyn stammered. His cock and his arse throbbed in unison as he felt Link rearranging his insides. The throp and the heat was so close to reaching its beautiful peak. He was close to release but he wanted something else.

"Link. I want you to cum inside me," he almost pleaded. Link grinned, Telyn kept saying his name and it kept almost sending him over the edge. He had come close a moment ago but held back ever so slightly. He was enjoying this far too much to end the first round prematurely. But Telyn's request took him by surprise. He slowed his pace a little, taking longer strokes but thrusting deeply each time. Gradually he picked up the pace, hammering Telyn until the man looked as though he was about to collapse.

A wave of warmth spilled over and released crashing over the two of them. Link's breathing was ragged and fast and he watched as white ropes spilled out of Telyn's cock, splashing them both. Link released with one final thrust. Telyn's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he felt Link cum. When he pulled out he could feel it drip down his arse and pool on the bed.

Both breathless, both shaking, Telyn helped Link down until he was laid beside him. Sweat poured down the hero's face and sticky rivers of their joint cum pointed his lower torso. Telyn thought then how truly beautiful Link was and also how human.

"Well," Telyn uttered. "I have to admit I didnt expect that when I came here!"

"Neither did I. I came to help out a friend. But I saw you the day I arrived and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I kept coming up with excises to see you. I just couldn't talk to you. I've had... problems with that before."

"You don't seem to have a problem now. Also, I didn't know you had a preference for this kind of thing." Telyn gestured to them both in a general manner.

"I wouldn't say preference. Those things don't really matter to me. If I like someone I like them, the ins and outs don't make a difference. I like people for who they are, not what they are or chose to be."

Telyn smiled. He felt as though he had been let in on a secret part of Link's life. A part few may have been privy to.

"Well, let me get my breath back and I can show you how I like my ins and outs," Telyn grinned seductively. Link wanted to laugh at the play on his words, but he was too blissed out to think straight. Also, he had stamina to last a few more rounds and the thought of Telyn's cock inside him was just too tempting.

"Alright, how do you want to fuck me blacksmith?"

***

#link #fanfic #legend of zelda #fandoms #breath of the wild #wildlink #link smut #sexy content #gayhot #gay fiction #smutt #gay smutt #gay Link Wild #legend of zelda fanfiction #queer chain #queers them into oblivion

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madamlaydebug · 5 months

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The year is done. I spread the past three hundred sixty-five days before me on the living room carpet.

Here is the month I decided to shed everything not deeply committed to my dreams. the day I refused to be a victim to the self-pity. here is the week I slept in the garden. The spring I wrung the self-doubt by its neck. Hung your kindness up. Took down the calendar. The week I danced so hard my heart learned to float above water again. The summer I unscrewed all the mirrors from their walls. No longer needed to see myself to feel seen. Combed the weight out of my hair.

I fold the good days up and place them in my back pocket for safekeeping. Draw the match. cremate the unnecessary. The light of the fire warms my toes. I pour myself a glass of warm water to cleanse myself for January. Here I go. stronger and wiser into the new.

~ Rupi Kaur

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airfieldddrive · 2 months

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Rupi's Poetry (Revisited)

[A Writer's Achievement]

Walking with purpose across her living room, lighting candles and turning the ceiling lights off

Sitting down with much to do, at peace with herself as reflected in her lovely brown eyes

The sound of trucks and cars on the 427 fades in the distant night time

She's changed, and everything is going to be all right

And it's Rupi, writing poetry in her room

Writing words of love and words that are true

Calmly looking closer with her eyes, a pleasurable delight she has found at the sight of her body

Outside in the Indian garden, the full moon is bright

More than 4 million women, children and men scroll across their phones, reading what Rupi wrote slowly

She walks back and forth with pen and paper held firmly in hand

...And it's Rupi thinking about poetry that she is going to write for you

She writes about pain and suffering and love

Most of what she writes about is true

Far from here

Only she rightfully decides, who she is to embrace in her arms

Feeling good again

For some

Most of the time

[She's A Twenty First Century Woman]

She gets emotional like the kind of scholar that she is who reads book after book like a charm

With eyes that are clear, there is much to digest

Knowing what you know can only take you higher

Putting you in all

She's here again

Here to perform

Putting you in all

Love and peace

Find yourself being released

She's an author, poet, illustrator, performer and artist

She's a twenty first century woman

There is much to what she writes

And all her followers

who have come from many different lifestyles and career paths

will have the time of their life

by buying a ticket and sitting down inside

Where more than a few

are seated

hand in hand

Mostly everyone's glad

She's a walking breathing miracle

She sells eternal sanctuary

She will entertain you

No matter what the temperature is outside

with Rupi inside

Everyone will feel warm

[Brampton And Malton And Toronto Heaven Sent]

We've got a feeling

there's a time to work

and a time to rest

Walking in our hometown fields

Fields that have seen generations of children

Children of the west

British descendants and the rest

Now a land of many brown skinned entrepreneurs

Standing still above ground

Safe and sound

Beating down any personal struggles

The day's chaos has begun, the workplace can be tense and ill at ease

Working hard to please...

And the chance to live in a wonderful world

without hectic commotion

Because love is where all of us need to be

and overtaken by that emotion

And even though everyone's in a good mood

Better to play it safe than sorry as usual

September has been a month to celebrate

And to have a slice of some delicious wedding cake

One of many lovely couple's have sealed their matrimonial fate

A time for celebration

and wedding hall dancing

here on earth before God

[Why Is She So Beautiful?]

Wandering through the forest

the conflicts of the world she has left

Climbing up a mountain of success

To a plateau of fresh, green grass

and tall trees full of life

Her young figure sits still

her reflection in the water she admires

that's natural

She's been published

and for that she's grateful

Salvador Dali's painting

"The Metamorphosis Of Narcissus" is beautiful

Such a brilliant painter

Narcissus blooms into a flower

Colourful and pleasing

Over and over

[Heydon's Farm]

If you go down to Heydon's Farm

You'll find a gathering of hovering Monarch butterflies

See forever eyes

that's not a surprise

Fox on the run

Over the road rocks by the jet

And there's the large lots

Memories of my mother there before

at the skating rink

where Michelle and her daughter are today

Just like everyone

Feeling both happy and sad

And of course there are good people in the world

Happy to be here

Championship drag racing

In a fast rush

Dealing with problems before the starting flag was raised

that had to be crushed

The moon and the prince

The prince was at the sticker factory

The sticker factory was beside the train tracks

The train tracks are still there amongst the enormous bustle

The bustle is what puts food on the table

and comfort all year round

Fly on a jet plane away

Sweet thing

Up on near the hikng trail

Places to go to and places you've been

You've changed into a fantastic human being

Yes

Happy as can be

And glorified as anyone can see

And fresh and clean in the morning

You've got everything

Always in

Never out

Wildwood wild things

throughout the summer blooming

in a roundabout

Changing seasons

Changes for one and all

Wish you were here

And some Hollywood stars are near

Time has come today

Time has come bringing change

Feel your body, it belongs to you and you alone

A gift from your mother and father

And from them you learn

what it is to work

during working hours

Earning your success

Making you feel tall

In my world

I hear a lot of lies

Up to here

listening to all these lies

Going with the flow

Rupi

In your world are there many that want you now?

And as you listen to your inner voice

To look for hidden doors, decorated floors and audience applause

Here for a good time

Everyone likes you a lot, they like what you've got

Your ancestral history can be felt and found throughout the land

Yes, deep in the land

And in the end, I heard before me, a clairvoyant having a spirit whisper in her head that in the end, we will find ourselves amongst those who all share similar interests

And that we'll all fit into our places

[Alpha Centauri Of The Constellation Centaurus]

With the stars of Centaurus shining bright around

A rocket ship moves slowly upward from its place underground

Rupi is strapped in, tilted back and coming up from beneath

Shimmering silver glitter around her head to below her knees

She lights up the fire in the skies

She knows she's doing well by the look in everybody's eyes

Her poetry is as rich as a sunrise

It ain't easy

Living in a painting and poetry fantasy

She is no longer alone

Made of hardy stock and thick to the bone

And the rocket engines roar

Roaring right down inside your soul

The stars of the constellation Centaurus shine alongside all of their moons

On stage, there's Rupi, reciting the words of a brand new poem

And it's Rupi, with her spoken words so true

At work and not lazy, thinking about the colour blue because it is such a fun thing to do

She's so far from here

Only she, and she alone rightfully decides who she is to receive in her loving arms

Rupi's back again, and everyone in the theatre will have a good time

[Poems]

Can't you feel your imagination get out of sight?

Pulsating colours, in the darkness of night

Like the galaxies that join after centuries, as the cycle of life expands and grows

She has come to your city and to a place that you call home

Rupi's standing shining in the sun, and she's reading with a loud voice

her favourite poems one by one

Poet of poets

Scholar of scholars

She has returned to read to the people, in theatre's close to their home

To make them feel glad that they've come, to listen to her reading her beautiful poems.

-Walter

October 18, 2019

Revisited and revised April 5, 2024

#me #writer #rupikaurpoems

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words-and-coffee · 1 year

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list of things to heal your mood: 1) cry it. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it out of your body. 2) if after all that you are still spiraling out of control ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it 3) the answer is no 4) the answer is breathe 5) sip the tea and feel your nervous system settle 6) you are the hero of you life 7) this feeling doesn’t have power over you 8) the universe has prepared you to handle this 9) no matter how dark it gets the light is always on its way 10) you are the light 11) walk yourself back to where the love lives

Rupi Kaur, Home Body

#Rupi Kaur #Home Body #quote #quotes #poetry

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deepdeepjoyandpain · 1 year

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Weekend::: we’ve had like 3 good ones in a row! I’m so grateful. Perhaps aggression and angst has turned a bit? All the therapy kicking in? Maturity? Hormones settling? I don’t know but I’m taking it and letting myself find deep contentment.

Yesterday was the kind of day that i thought yes, I’ve worked hard to get here. Dance- with our beloved teacher of the last four years. She gave Lou’s ends a trim during one of the other classes. Lou is there for almost 4 hours and comes out so happy each week. She’s doing en pointe now and is so proud! Not asking for her phone there either:) but seems to be making some friends??

So then I brought her to dance teachers daughter, who braided her. I trust this woman completely too so it feels good to leave her there, I picked up coffee for ms. T, and was off alone again. Then a neighbor/ couple blocks away/my brothers childhood bestie- asked if Lou could babysit after hair. Late night for her! She’s been doing this a little for their kids and she beams with confidence. I’ve talked a little with the mom about clear expectations and instructions and the mom loves Lou too. So that was my day- I drove my teen around, ha. And I had energy to work on the house/ chores, read a bit, errands, the gym. Started watching Shrinking on Apple TV.

Tonight I have my amazing besties on a google meet, we are reading and doing the exercises in Rupi Kaur’s Healing through Words and it’s wonderful. We have a date for Colorado this fall! And I even got flights already.

Dreaming of out west summer 2024- badlands, Yellowstone, and grand Tetons?? Taking off Juneteenth— 4th? We shall see! This summer is Acadia. I’m very aware that I am parenting a big kid- a teen - and how fast it is going. Hey that means I am thinking beyond this school year too! Teachers were quite positive about increased maturity during conferences.

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wannabeinsane · 8 months

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Social Media: a necessary evil or an undeniable depravity at our fingertips?

In this day and age, no one really reprimands the kind of clothes you wear or the people you date. It’s different now. They just make memes about it and post it on their stories. It seems, as though the world works a lot differently than it did twenty, or fifty years ago. This begs the question, would you rather have someone criticize your fashion sense through a funny meme shared amongst millions of users or have people say it to your face?

Recently, I have noticed that people are very quick to dismiss things that appeal to larger masses. For example, Rupi Kaur’s poetry is considered “cheesy” and Instagram trends are labeled “cringe”. These would be classic examples of the kind of cyberculture this generation is a part of, including me. Who gets to decide whether dancing to a particular song is “cool”? Why is popular literary fiction seen as a problem among some Gen Zs who have been “readers” since before BookTok or BookstaGram became a thing? It’s difficult to answer these questions without admitting that I'm a part of the problem but we all have to start somewhere.

Social media gives you freedom. It gives you a space to present a pretty and filtered version of yourself which I think is the chief appeal behind it. But also, the easy accessibility, overwhelming amount of content, and lack of boredom largely attract young individuals like myself who are trying to find themselves. Through apps like Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc. we find people who are like us and that helps us feel less alone in a world filled with strangers. There is a certain allure of a world that is so vast and yet, is just a click away. A place where you can find love, hate, friendship, guidance, job opportunities, and much more. It's easy to get carried away but nothing matches the power of digital validation.

Finding a balance looks like the obvious solution but it’s clearly not that easy. For people like me, who cannot maintain a balance, not engaging at all seems like the only possible solution. For me, if there even exists a hell, I’d definitely say it’s the internet.

#writing #provacative #books & libraries #blog #thoughts

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 1 year

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✧ Humanities Creative Prompts ✧

~ 30 creative prompts based on literature, art, and music ~

Prompts from literature & poetry

📚 “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how.” - Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell 📚 “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 📚 “At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete.” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald 📚 “He stepped down, trying not to look at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” - Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy 📚 “You are my sympathy, my better self, my good angel. I am bound to you with a strong attachment.” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë 📚 “Tis better to have loved and lost, Than to never have loved at all.” - In Memoriam A.H.H. by Alfred Lord Tennyson 📚 “We loved with a love that was more than love.” - Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe 📚 "You might not have been my first love, but you were the love that made all the other loves irrelevant.” - milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur 📚 “Come. And be my baby.” - Come, And Be My Baby by Maya Angelou 📚 “If I know what love is, it is because of you.” - Hermann Hesse

Prompts from art

🎨 Il Bacio - Franceso Hayez (1859) 🎨 The Jewish Bride - Rembrandt (1665-1669) 🎨 In Bed, The Kiss - Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1892) 🎨 Romeo and Juliet I - Sir Frank Dicksee (1844) 🎨 Country Dance - Renoir (1883) 🎨 The Lovers - René Magritte (1928) 🎨 A Romance - Santiago Rusiñol (1894) 🎨 A Huguenot - John Everett Millais (1852) 🎨 Lovers Kissing at a Piano - Unknown artist (?) 🎨 Il Bacio - Silvio Allason (1892)

Prompts from music

🎼 Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars 🎼 I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston 🎼 All of Me - John Legend 🎼 Because You Loved Me - Céline Dion 🎼 Dreaming of You - Selena 🎼 Cry to Me - Solomon Burke 🎼 Can’t Help Falling in Love - Elvis 🎼 Can’t Take my Eyes off of You - Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons 🎼 Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers 🎼 Be My Baby - The Ronettes

#writing prompts #art prompts #prompts

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softly-potter · 2 years

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Milk & Honey

Summary: Recently widowed, Draco and Hermione give dating a try.

Pairing: Draco X Hermione

Word Count: 4,201

Warning: none

A/N: Inspired by the quote “I’ve had sex, she said. But I don’t know, What making love, Feels like” by Rupi Kaur.

Find Chapter 2 Here

Chapter 1

Hermione has almost forgotten how she landed a date with her ex-death eater coworker. She always knew Pansy Parkinson would be a thorn in her side, but she never knew the witch would be the ultimate matchmaker.

“What about Blaise?”

“No.”

“Adrian, maybe?”

“No.”

“How about Draco?”

“I don’t think Malfoy's dating.” Hermione sighs, placing her quill down in defeat as she glares up at Pansy, who is currently trying to get her back into the dating world.

“Oh come on,” Pansy sniffs, leaning against Hermione's desk. “You and Ron broke up years ago, and I’ve heard you admit the following two things; you and Ron are better off as friends, and Draco is ‘quite handsome’.” Pansy holds her hands up, making air quotes around the last two words. Hermione glances at the back of the blonde's head, his shoulders straight as he pours over documents.

Working at the ministry did have its perks, but being in such a close, constant proximity to the forever gossiping Pansy was not one of them. Pansy rolls her eyes, placing a manicured hand flat on the desk.

“He hasn’t dated anyone since Astoria, and based on previous experience, I know he can be a doll of a boyfriend. He just hasn’t…” Pansy pauses, glancing over at the man of her subject, “branched out.”

“Well can you blame him? And no, I’m not hung up on Ron.” Hermione snaps, grabbing her quill. Astoria Greengrass and the sole heir to the Malfoy estate had been something of a coveted item for nearly two years. It was assumed that they would marry, and based on how Malfoy had been with her, it seems that marriage had been his intention as well.

Everyone knew of Astorias blood curse, so when she fell ill, it truly came at no surprise to the public. However, when she publicly broke up with Draco by posting an article in the Daily Profit, well, that indeed came as a shock. Both Astoria and her sister Daphne left for Switzerland a few months after she had grown sick, and when Daphne had returned alone, nearly a month later, everyone understood why.

“I still don’t think Astoria should have done that. Left him so he could ‘be free of an illness that has so raptured my body’ as she so kindly put it.” Pansy says, and Hermione rolls her eyes.

“Do be kind, Pans.” She replies, looking away from Malfoy's head, her voice low. “She knew what was going to happen. She wanted to spare him the pain, I suppose.” Pansy nods, her bob moving along with her.

“Please Granger, let me set you up on a blind date with someone.” Pansy pleads, eyes shining. “And if you don’t like them, you can hex me into next year.”

“I'm just so busy with work at The Ministry and Ginny's pregnancy.” Hermione replies, hoping Pansy would bugger off soon and let her work in peace. Pansy stands, holding her hands in defeat.

“Just promise if someone asks, you’ll give them a shot.” She asks, clasping her hands, earning yet another eye roll from Hermione.

“Fine.” Hermione replies, waving Pansy away. “If someone asks, I’ll give them a shot. Maybe.”

Hermione is early to the office the next morning, surprisingly, since she stayed up all night with Ginny on the telephone. Harry and Hermione had finally convinced Ginny to allow the Potter household muggle-machinery, a telephone being one of them, and Ginny was often hooked into having late night conversations.

Yawning, Hermione pushes open the door, waving to the clerk that sat behind the front desk as she makes her way to her own desk. To her surprise, Malfoy is leaning against her desk, his arms folded over his chest and eyes staring into the distance.

“Goodmorning,” Hermione says politely, placing her briefcase on the surface. “Is there something…I can help you with?” Malfoy turns to look at her, a slight scowl dancing across his features, uncrossing his arms as he says, “Pansy has an extraordinarily obnoxious voice.”

Hermione laughs. “Well, you should know since you did date her.” Draco rolls his eyes, replying with a tone dripping with sarcasm. “I suppose, but I must’ve forgotten how much she can harp on and on about anything.” Nodding in reply, Hermione flicks open her briefcase.

“Well, what does Pansy say this time?” She asks, carefully unloading the documents she needs for today's work. She can see Malfoy stand straight, fixing his color slightly and he takes a breath.

“Let's have it out, Granger.”

“Have what?”

Malfoy stares, his grey eyes hard and she can almost physically feel his annoyance grow. “She won’t leave me alone. She nearly wrote me a dozen letters saying you and I would be…decent, together. So, let's try it, tomorrow night, maybe, after work?”

He’s looking at her with such exasperation, Hermione's cheeks begin to warm. “I'm missing something, aren’t I?” She asks, and he nods fevertly.

“A date, Granger.” He says, his eyes boring into hers. “Go on a date with me and you can tell Pansy how much you dislike me after, then she’ll leave us both alone.”

Hermione could smack herself with how oblivious she feels, and by the expression on his face, Malfoy would smack her too.

“Malfoy, we don’t need t–”

“Tomorrow then, after work?” He interrupts, straightening his cufflinks. The whole situation is so bizarre, so out of character and odd, that Hermione has no reply. He takes it as a yes, nodding once. “The Three broomsticks should work. Let's say 7pm.” And he walks off, leaving Hermione gaping awkwardly at her desk.

Ah yes, that was how she landed the date. The rest was history, at least in her world.

In the months that follow, Hermione and Draco date. After a cautiously yet enjoyable evening at the Three broomsticks, Draco tells her he hasn’t talked this much to one individual in months. They go out again and again, each place slightly nicer and more upscale than the last, Draco fronting the tab every time. Hermione isn’t sure how they click, how their war-wounded souls fit one another, but they do, and she simply can’t get enough of it.

After nearly three months of fine dining and timid hand holding, Hermione begins to fret that he wants out.

“Hermione, why on earth would you think that?” Ginny asks, her feet propped up on the loveseat she picked out for Easter, her hand caressing her swollen belly. “He’s obviously smitten with you.”

“Well, he hasn’t really…made any moves.” Hermione whispers, wringing her hands as she sits across from her oldest friend, fretting about her relationship. “Sometimes he holds my hand but we haven’t even kissed.”

“You haven’t even kissed?” Ginny echos, sitting up slightly. “My goodness what are you a nun?”

“No no,” Hermione sighs, waving away the comment. “It’s just…with how his last relationship ended, I don’t want to push him into anything that he’s uncomfortable with.” Hermione knows Draco likes her, maybe even deeply cares for her, but living in the glittering shadow of Astoria’s ghost was hard. She always feared she could never live up to the standards of his past, a beautiful socialite who died far too early then was fair.

“I get your anxiety, ‘Mione, really I do but,”Ginny says softly, reaching out to Hermione. “Astorias gone. You know it, Draco knows it, and he wants you. If you’re tired of waiting, why don’t you kiss him?”

“Me?” Hermione gasps. “I couldn’t, I just, I wouldn’t know how to even go about that. Plus, he might not want me to.”

“Oh he does,” Ginny counters, wiggling her brows. “Harrys told me something and I’ve gotta say ‘Mione. You should jump on that.”

The next evening as Hermione cleans up their dishes from dinner in her flat, she decides to jump on it.

“Draco, do you not find me attractive?” She instantly regrets the words as they leave her mouth. He looks at her in confusion, his white blond brows furrow together as he leans forward.

“Heavens no, I find you incredibly…” he falters, looking from her face quickly down her body and then up again. “I find you incredible.”

“Well I just…well what are you waiting for then?” She replies, determination seeping into her voice. “I am fine with taking things slowly, for I am a slow and steady person myself, but I just want to know if there’s a reason, is it my hair?” She reaches up, pushing a curl back. “I know it's incredibly unruly.”

She opens her mouth to continue with her protest, but Draco leans forward—the both of them standing by the kitchen table—and takes her hands in his. He’s tall, several inches taller than her, and she has to crane her neck to look into his face. Adoration sparkles in his grey eyes, and he smiles.

“Granger, do you want me to kiss you?” He asks, his voice soft. Her stomach flips, the room suddenly growing warmer.

“Only if yo—”

“Don’t think,” he interrupts, squeezing her hand softly. “Just answer.” She pauses, looking between their clasped hands and his tall frame.

Dropping her hands, he slowly cups her face, his long fingers supporting her jaw and inching slightly past her hairline. “Do you want me to kiss you, Hermione.”

It’s posed as a demand, not a question, and he’s so close she can feel the soft caress of his breath across her lips.

“Yes.” She whispers, abandoning fear and she closes her eyes as he leans down, pressing his lips against hers.

It’s slow, and soft, his hands dropping hers as he frames her face, and it’s everything she’d hoped for but more. Draco cranes her face close to his, fingernails scraping gently at the hairline on the base of her neck, and she envelopes her hands over his. When he pulls away, dreadfully too soon, she leans forward to nuzzle her face into the base of his neck, hands leaning against his chest as she breathes in his scent.

#dramione #dating au #soft draco #first time #widow

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berlinbisque · 1 year

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Proud Reject (Part 1)

I’m literally blind my eyesight has deteriorated further everything’s blurry the day starts in bed & ends like that too no sunlight no connection with the outside world no one to talk to just my phone and my thoughts & loads of tears… that’s how everyday begins and ends. Its not self imposed, this happens when you are isolated by people. I can’t type but I wanted to write this… I love this mini story or script more than my next book even though the book’s more interesting but out of personal choice I like the story which I’ll be sharing tomorrow more than that, it’s not on any professional level it’s just something I would’ve discussed with a friend and laughed ie. if I had friends, something started that particular “topic” and I couldn’t help wondering… what if?

My heart was in my mouth again cuz I received a reel on FB which had his friend Aditya (he was either pretending to be him in 2016 or he himself inspite of being engaged was interested idk) they were dancing like most tv ppl and I got another panic attack… my mother was already torturing me, I woke up with high fever I still have fever headache it’s been there since a week I’m getting wheezing due to continuous crying and I realised that he wants someone famous to make such videos too. Someone rich and famous like that. Even in abroad there’s no pressure, over there all those celebs (who are are much more popular) even the ones in their early 20s when they make videos that too just one or two out of fad, they film it on their cheap phones they don’t care about the blurry quality they are not trying to sell it, they just don’t care about all that and those who are of my age (still nowhere close to Aditya, he was older than Harsh also) some of them, even if they have all those pics that I personally like (with their boyfriends - trekking or at the lake, casual everyday candid shots) they still find it hard to cope with social media and they eventually take a break from it, had they been in my position they too would’ve ended up like this out of all that pressure. I can’t keep up with your life. Few things that I’ll like to share before starting with my story, A - the sketches I’m sorry if he was hurt. I had not made them, my book wasn’t like Rupi Kaur’s either it never had those intimate doodles. I think my mother stalks me (I don’t want to write about her publicly but I have to share all this please don’t judge me by her) and she has taken advantage of a lot of things and also challengingly said “Did anyone come to help you? Everyone hates you and no one pays attention no one cares, everyone wants you to die and you will die alone like this” she has also told me a lot of hurtful things related to that guy, taking advantage of that as well and and the problem is (my hands are cold n numb lifeless rn) I can’t convey my feelings directly through some app or something so I have to rely on these public posts NO MAILS he ain’t some God or Celebrity (being a celebrity means being celebrated not deprecated) I’m not some groupie or teenager to mail my fav celebrity crush and he doesn’t belong to any boy band. What’s in it for me? Will I be rescued from my mother or helped with my health issues which started DUE TO HIM? Or is he just gonna sit there reading my mail, getting happy with all the validation after which he’ll ignore it. Am I that? Hahaha I’m not into human worship. We are more focused on our lives… especially those like me in my position. She has told me several times that I’m a “sl-u-tt” for being in LOVE or for falling in love. She also came up with the forcer tag even thought it was torturous for me and I kept crying and saying STOP stop stop cuz for us as girls rape or force is worse than murder, I never wanted him to marry me just to take responsibility for his actions I never wanted to punish him with myself and I always respected him and I’ll continue to do so I’m not his fans to write cheap comments like I saw in that dancing video (they were writing about his shirt). That tacky shirt made the whole video even more disturbing, and I didn’t see the entire thing I was in the middle of a panic attack, I just saw one shot then I died. After that I vomited, my pressure was falling rapidly and I kept crying for days cuz you know what right… (25th Oct) anyway I never shared this (one more reason/aspect) like that Chote Pandit tells Ruhaan or Ruh Baba “Aap par aise chichore kapde jajte nahi hai” I was like aah that is what they call it… anyway haha but I don’t want anyone who is being an “eye candy” for other females on television, they come and hit on him in comments that too cheap comments. Yes everyone’s doing it but that’s why we are so depressed and you are anyway not with me I don’t even get a fraction of your day or time.

My mother used that word force several times (she has said other unimaginable offending things too) cuz I was crying and it was triggering me, she said it because I wanted him to say something (but we weren’t even discussing that) for talking or communication cuz I just wanted his OCD to break. It started within 24 hours and not how you might think we met on 2nd Oct then 2 years later 2nd April and I know that we all feel jaded to text sometimes or keep the conversation going, we might not feel enthusiastic anymore after that initial excitement or whatever but it wasn’t like that, if it would’ve been that I wouldn’t have even taken so much stress. We’ve all done that at some point in our lives, internet makes us lethargic, we also get addicted to more exploration or finding new people to talk to… we feel like we can do better or take our time to choose whoever’s the most ideal for us, but his case was totally different.

At some point we would all respond or say something maybe after a week or even after getting let’s say - reconnected after losing contact or reaching a temporary impasse. We wouldn’t hold on to any grudge or some kind of a “promise” he swore never to talk to me, there was nothing to be mad about, he just decided that we will never have any direct contact his parents also said “We don’t want to keep any talukaat (contact) particularly with your daughter” he kept liking my pics BUT not replying to any of the texts (when he started liking my photos religiously I texted him on FB messenger because I thought maybe my texts weren’t getting through and I wasn’t receiving his due to some glitch but he READ those FB texts and still didn’t respond) and even after that he was liking the pics then when I told him “Are u feeling sorry for me, why do you keep liking the photos, is it the BB pin what you wanted, I even gave you a reason that too it was all funny and I gave it the very same night as soon as I woke up in the middle of it I gave it” he removed me from the list after that. I am getting wheezing I can’t get overwhelmed I had shared the exact thing which I told him when he was asking for my pin (long ago) I can’t keep reiterating everything everywhere. He then kept blocking and ignoring my real account but speaking to the fake ID

The coincidences and those premonitions in my dreams had already started which made me more curious about his behaviour so I tried talking to him but that fake ID like I said was for my school friend who was also stalking me with her fake ID. And I would not see his stories or anything, I was playing her Snapchat story but his was queued so it started playing by default where I saw that training session. When I tried speaking to him using my real acc… he not only blocked me AS SOON AS HE HEARD MY NAME (like I said he wanted no “direct” contact between me and him) he also made his account private. He made me feel like a stalker, I had already started getting panic attacks and I had stopped watching TV it has been off since then (2015 Sept) I tried moving on in Aug itself but I told you what happened over and over again, same old story repeated heartbreaks… cuz they only wanted girls like me as a call girl and according to them only pageant winners or models, fair and rich or extremely famous girls even those with notoriety (nothing worth all that attention) who were out of their league were all meant for dating. I never fell in that category. Eventually they ended up with actual call girls. I have seen their pics and I’ve seen some in real life too. All those other girls whom they were chasing would treat them like “fans” karma. Not only actors everyone these days does that and then girls of my level (caliber) get married to roadside romeos and illiterate creeps/pervs cuz all those men also want someone out of their league and they prey on us… this is a common problem in India. Anyway like I said I just wanted to see if he still remembered me by the end of that year and if he still hated me (for no reason) I had not added him to view his stories but he blocked me and made everything private. I’m twitching it affects me subconsciously now… my mother also makes me feel like this after years of (weird) coincidences which were linked to him and all that insensitivity (the story escalated he never made peace his behaviour only got worse along with all that humiliating ignorance) since she called me a “sl-tt” for falling in love with him I eventually ended up telling her that her marriage was literally arranged it wasn’t a love marriage but yet she got prégnant so many times so was that out of love or lust? I never wanted to get on such terms with her but she would keep torturing me (she had thrashed me ruthlessly even after getting fibromyalgia several times cuz I have no one in this world to support me or tell her anything) she has in fact told me a lot of harmful and offending things (out of gloating) “Dekho kuch aur kabhi koi nahi mila iss aurat ko yeh akeli hi reh gayi” and laughed (I was 25) I’ve been getting addressed as aurat or woman ever since I was 12. I was told I should’ve drowned during 26th July floods and never returned from school I would sit on the stairs with my heavy bag famished and parched everyday after coming home for 2-3 hours cuz my mother would not leave keys for me, and then get tortured at home for another one hour, I would keep telling myself one day someone will come and all this would end but I ended up being bed ridden because of whoever came and it continued for many more years to come, all my youth and adulthood.

I was never a likeable girl whom you could fall in love with, I never had those superficial attributes (white complexion, money, fame etc. they would only try to treat us like call girls that’s why I’m a lip virgin) . When I said about love and arranged marriages she said she had every right cuz she was legally married and I’m a forcer rapist (for wanting to know the reason behind his sudden silence and that absurd behaviour) she keeps saying or blurting these things out because of unrequited love cuz no one likes or wants me, it’s perceived as a social stigma in India. Cuz there’s nothing from the opposite side not even care or basic concern as a Co-human literally how can someone be so insensitive? She says all that derisively, again out of gloating and competition just to pull me down as another female. Today things were worse even though I had wheezing and I’m still getting it + fever and headache. I’m gonna cut it short now I’ve written a lot…

So coming back to the OCD or whatever part where he had made a rule that there would be no direct contact - he would either speak to my fake ID or use his own friend’s ID but one of us had to be someone else. Go through this link: https://www.lilacnights.com/post/surprise The other day I murmuring in my sleep I was so disoriented I kept saying “Aditya came with his gf Aditi… God knows for what, Harsh was also 10 kms away Aditya had said he would go to some bakery in Kandivali for evening snacks Kandivali is where they would reside he was at his house even though he would always be 6 kms away which is Malad” then I said to myself “No wake up it’s Tanvi not Aditi obviously”

I had told you, the Devil or angels all these entities in fact can probably read our minds and you know when I was browsing certain quotes it’s as if they were talking to me… one of them reflected exactly what I was thinking a few days back - Since I had seen his house in 2015-16 I knew he wasn’t rich and like I said he wasn’t even that big on Instagram or FB no blue tick and 2500-3000 followers with 250 likes, from his (natural) pics I thought he wasn’t that good looking or fair (it’s just that he wasn’t very photogenic) and so I fell in love with him but then some tarot reader told me (I had to rely on all that cuz he was not saying anything) that he was reluctant cuz he thought I was like a gold digger so I started cutting down all my expenses worked on several articles for my blogs back then, I was 20 but I was trying to be as understanding as possible… I started buying things on Sale literally if you’ve noticed for 100s-1000 all these years because of my panic attacks I never saw him after 2016 Feb and I thought maybe that is what he wanted there was anyway no hope from the others, and I had coincidences or signs here so I thought I’ll do this and then I realised it was all futile, all the selflessness and altruism it just wasn’t worth it. I even wrote a letter and clarified/acknowledged that it could be one sided while also sharing my feelings for him cuz I thought he would also cut down on his expenses because his brother was jobless like mine. That’s why I hate today’s generation they ruin everyone’s life along with their’s but I’m from Gen Z I’m actually younger than his younger brother it’s just that they are always like that, they have no pressure or expectations. I poured lots of love in that letter for this part but he hated me and then he had that stage show with her which broke my heart and I never gave it and my mother also was about to hit me again cuz she secretly read that (it had nothing which could’ve made her that livid or furious not even like a proper I love you or anything) she just said “Stop trying to look great or good” I saw the Devil’s numbers so I’m guessing it was him you had read my mind when I was telling myself that it was all wrong, I shouldn’t have ever tried being ideal for someone like that when he was already well off or rich or good looking he never needed love like me that’s why he never even understood anything, I don’t know why his house looked like that or if like ppl say Gujjus actually hide money but it was all deceptive, he was already too good he never needed love he was in a way better position. I kept saying I should’ve enjoyed and loved my life instead of getting bed ridden and cutting down everything, living on that bare minimum stuff c’mon… he showed a quote which had the exact same emotions and it was talking about all this too.

Then there were more quotes again with my thoughts but with answers this time - As a piece of advice *clears throat* the Devil’s like “Times change, we change, our choices change too… maybe you should just live out your dreams now” the background images everything all the signs suggested/reminded me of the rest of the stuff, let’s say he wants some tv actress to make those stupid immature dance reels (remember what had happened last time right? Two of them in their 40s made a misogynistic video where he was liye talk throwing her around and getting abusive and for some reason that was supposed to be funny and then that guy that “actor” he actually slammed her head against the wall in real life cuz he was having an affair) the fortune telling app said he wants someone “talented” to make those reels and earn money ummm seriously? You are going to hold auditions and another Swayamvar for this? You actually need talent for such stupid ass videos? Really? 😂🤣🤣🤣 He reminded me of my dreams (ironically the Devil not him) and he’s right here so if he is “rejecting” me for these reels like overage teenagers then even I will say - I want some NRI who stays abroad and who will take me away from all this (I gave examples of so many famous celebrities from MY age group all these ppl making videos are older, those celebs they don’t do all this and even if they do it cuz it’s a fad now it’s shot on blurry pixelated quality for fun not money and some of them they take all those cute casual pics and use Instagram like a digital album like some of our Indian Bollywood celebs and that’s it, they don’t turn this into a career that too most of it is just for attention) so yeah he’s right if he’s rejecting me for that especially after I’ve become conscious I don’t even look good so yeah I’m not suitable for the camera I have become agoraphobic I haven’t left my room since 2017 I’ve become bed ridden and he is still thinking selfishly about his own life then I also want a rescuer an actual hero who will take me abroad because why is he even staying India? Just got fame right? You hardly get anything here, we needed something for our living room and bathroom some important fixtures and even there there’s literally no choice or even proper functionality. If you see the state of our roads or the air quality outside you’ll literally feel like shifting there… it’s getting worse day by day, we hardly get any quality product here, prices are getting hiked and unlike abroad there are no alternatives, I keep getting cheap ads from “homegrown businesses” in India who are busy making Sx toys, the land of superficial Kama sutra and Chappis or pervs what else do you expect? Indians don’t need beautiful cosy homes or designer spaces (that too in a budget) or other things such as good quality food or air or any kind of consumption like that cuz they are only good at fcking and having kids. Our population shows that there are literally no brains here… my head is paining.

My mother would never believe or support me when I would say I’m always about to face molestation in the school bus cuz I’m my stop was last and I would be the only girl left everyday I would force myself to somehow keep away my head wud keep banging against the window cuz I would get drowsy, they (driver and cleaner) didn’t even spare a KG toddler, I eventually took things into my own hand and the cleaner’s frustration was evident that day and when I grew up I saw smother school bus’s driver ogling me (when I was a teenager) in my car, I immediately looked behind to see if they were being accompanied by a teacher cuz that was a new rule but the teacher was sitting obliviously completely ignorant to that in her own sweet world… (Jamnabai Bus) another toddler’s case came on tv that year where they parents had paid 10k for her picnic where she was raped and the teacher kept threatening and manipulating and raping her repeatedly he was a sad case my hands are again I’ve cold I had to mention all that this is one more reason why I don’t want kids anymore and this country it’s unlivable. I can’t stay here. All my school friends are married to NRIs, and I don’t want to stay here either… in fact considering my thoughts and everything I should’ve been the first to move. All my school friends would think I was from there… Someone had even told me that I was too sophisticated to be here when it saw my old website (I don’t have it now) he was surprised it was made in India. We asked about the bathroom hardware btw, I just received a response and as guessed they’ve shifted everything to exports inspite being an Indian brand, all the good stuff is reserved for Dubai and other places… people who don’t deserve to be there (cheap bimbos) have already shifted, for me I just fell short of the mark because of my looks ur complexion I don’t know what to blame. Look at these beautiful velvety chenille cushions with all those intricate designs (traditional + Aztec) I have studied all this on my own… you don’t get this stuff in India btw, we get nothing here.

I somehow got those items, it’s me Zara after all I can’t keep something ugly or bad in that bathroom, there has to be congruity like everything else I’m always in sync with the universe. We felt like thieves though to buy things made in Rajasthan as if it was all smuggled. In India girls develop a defence mechanism from an early age, it might sound like really dreary and lascivious if I’ll keep bringing up this topic but in this particular article I feel like I’ll have to discuss it not explicitly but I’ll have to make you understand why as girls or more precisely as ineligible (darker toned females who don’t have a rich father to buy a bridegroom for her, who won’t be able to afford any dowry you might think times have changed BUT I literally heard someone in my own family shouting and saying “My best friend’s girl has several hotels at her name her father is a business tycoon and look at me I can’t woo anyone like that, where am I? Uske gf ke baap ki itni saari hotelein hai dekho and wht about me?” He doesn’t even want to get married. That same gf was so weird she had a deviant personality she locked him from outside while they were on a trip God knows for what reason and kept him under lock and key. He woke up locked in that room.

We deal with lecherous men from the age of 10-11 and all these educated men who are supposed to take care of us are feeding us to the wolves I wanted someone of my caliber to talk to who would understand my thoughts, who would’ve able to keep up with me and my conversations someone who himself is fathomable and not some illiterate incoherent cheap vulgar man like that creep from Bhopal YET I WAS FORCED to talk to him, they left me with no choice until I blocked him and he kept coming and harassing me, he was a perv and you know his story. Is that not FORCE? In fact it’s all UNFAIR it’s the other way round… I have dealt with married creepy ugly men touching me by taking advantage of the crowd on school trips - we feel molested and exploited we feel like killing ourselves, and when a girl gets rejected for no reason she didn’t even like got chance to probably get liked for her personality or other things (we put make more efforts than all those good looking fair rich girls hoping we’ll get chosen by someone or the other) but at the end we get rejected not only for love or CARE, (every girl’s fav word) but also for emotional, financial and physical security, we are deprived of that too. We can’t depend on our old parents when we are surrounded by so many pervs who are getting further encouraged by INTERNET. Now all the pseudo feminists will be like - “You can’t learn Judo Karate (some of us have certain illnesses and unfortunately the ones triggered by stress are skyrocketing amongst girls that too chronic destabilising ones like Lupus (systematic disorder) Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s syndrome, Neurasthénia which I got after fibro due to cov & 5th Mar stress ) They will say “You can’t learn kick boxing? Karate? Pork chop? Use pepper spray…?” At the risk of what? Incurring their wrath & getting acid thrown at our face? “You can’t ask for a raise?” They sometimes pay more to men cuz they are the sole bread winners in some families and at times single girls and boys BOTH are given a smaller paycheck. There are places where they do add more zeroes for men but even after bringing up that topic things haven’t changed for us… next “Why can’t you work during your pregnancy why take a maternity leave? You are a woman we are strong invincible we don’t need that, how old fashioned? Why take an epidural? Why Caesarean? Why can’t you juggle work life and kids both? Why have children? Too primitive? Why can’t you have kids? Too ambitious? (Well there are several other reasons) Why be a homemaker? Why become a working girl? Be modern we don’t work 9 to 5… Why can’t you just party, booze and smoke and then grow your own weed, sell it & become an entrepreneur… like a female Pablo Picasso… why can’t you? Is it only for men?” All these pseudo feminists will immediately ask these things, the moment you talk about being deprived of emotional, physical or financial security which is like the need of the hour right now for females they’ll start asking such nonsensical questions that you’ll feel like pulling a trigger in your mouth instead of answering them. But what I meant to say is that is what rejection is for us. We have no hope left and our future becomes uncertain and scary. Speaking of wanting to move somewhere abroad… I would’ve probably stayed back if I had someone here, you stay for people you love… I have no one to keep me here, they actually all want me to die they are waiting for that. No one cares about my life or me…

Considering everything that I had to hear… (my head is paining so please ignore all the errors/typos) and how people have behaved with me especially him and my mother, I don’t want that forcer chaser tag anymore so if you are ready to accept me only then you can approach or if you want be friends then I’m also cool with that but don’t be fickle like him, if you are not sure then either stay away or be honest… if you don’t want me but still want to be around and if you are okay with risking your integrity although I’m very good at keeping secrets then we can have a half open marriage like I had suggested earlier. I had written all this long ago…

Girls like me who are considered “untalkable” can only dream of a platonic relationship… in my dreams sometimes I have someone by my side holding my hand when I feel like I’m dying during those convulsions or tremors and violent jerking/twitching throughout my body, I get wheezing too and even my heart muscles go through that; having said that in real life it involves romantic feelings minus intimacy and it’s unimaginable to think that someone would like us, we can use the other house mates alternative which again considering how he has made me… ugly and all and how much my mother hates having me around, I feel it would be difficult for someone to put up with me in the same environment, she keeps praying for my death cuz she “cannot stand me” (just like the guy I loved the most) and ego would want to hang around? I always wanted to be with him, watch TV, shop together, put my arm around his neck, talk, do fun things like sharing those interesting or unbelievable bizarre stories (well I have a lot now) build our home, decorate it and spend our life together, now that life is gone along with 8-10 years of my youth, I could never be with him. When they create characters like us on screen they show us like psychos, one sided forcers, they do cover these things like watching tv or preparing breakfast but we are still shown as some creep who is forcing someone to be around & craving for their presence, fighting for their time and attention. They depict us like those psychos and we end up feeling more scared 😱 hence we never talk about this. Speaking of mutualism, well maximum of these stories start off as not only mutual but also with loads of attention from the opposite side, they lure you and then humiliate. Also, who would want to watch TV with me? I can crack jokes and make you laugh if you want to be House Mates, you won’t get bored and if you aren’t like my mother then you’ll even get used to my appearance and it won’t bother you after some time. Platonic is where you can watch movies or tv together, as house mates we can use the living area as a common room apart from that we will have our own space where we can stay separately, My head is paining a lot and I have a lot of fever so I’m gonna continue the funny story tomorrow…

Gn Zara Sauleh

Coincidences - www.lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid

My Dream Life 👇🏻

Just so you know… this is My Dream Life. This is what I want, a warm cosy home, sunsets by the lake, Amsterdam canals & rivers, round windows, quaint little shops, egrets & ducks, some puppies, warm amber lights, 90s vibes, freshly baked viennoiseries 🥐 and love + a little bit of tranquility. Credit for videos - | utrechtalive | & | elbgestoeber | (couldn’t tag cuz I’ve seen some bloggers asking ppl to take down their videos so didn’t want to tag them I have added their usernames)

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