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korasonata · 9 months

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Was bored and also procrastinating other things, so have a ranked list of Hermits based on whether I think they can cook or not for funsies. Vibes only.

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Beef: The expert. Is well versed in almost all manners of cooking, and is an extremely skilled chef, particularly with regards to meat dishes, and is a particularly skilled butcher.

TFC: Also up there with Beef, but TFC is also a master of rare ingredients. He’s good at foraging, and he uses ingredients in his cooking that aren’t typically used in just every day life. His techniques may seem a bit primitive, but they are highly effective and his style of cooking might be called simple food made complicated.

Stress: Also a very good cook who puts a lot of emphasis on nutrition. She makes meal plans and prepares a lot of her food at the beginning of the week, and her cooking always makes sure to include a balanced diet. She enjoys cooking and likes to have fun with it. Makes a killer roast chicken.

Impulse: Is surprisingly good at home style cooking. He doesn’t make anything fancy or anything, and his presentation is always a little sloppy, but his food at least tastes good.

Cub: Doesn’t cook much, but when he does he is actually secretly a very good chef. He cooks for himself a lot, but it’s only once in a blue moon that someone else gets to eat his food.

Wels: Is a decent chef, but is incapable of cooking for a single person. He makes way too much food every time and is incapable of portioning, and as such he is the direct inverse of Cub, and he never cooks for himself if he’s alone. Is also very good at desserts.

Ren: Has a bottomless pit of a stomach. Has a big appetite and loves all food and really enjoys big dinner feasts. Is also good with cooking meat specifically. He has a special smoking method that is a real crowd pleaser. Is also good with basic rice bowls and his cooking tastes very homely.

Gem: Is good at treating fish specifically. Also anything involving wild game. Like TFC she is very good at foraging and using ingredients found in the forest. Her cooking is a bit unrefined, but has a very light, refreshing sort of feel to it.

Cleo: An average cook, but is very good at a few specific dishes. (As a side note I’ve actually tried one of Cleo’s recipes that she talked about on stream and it is literally the greatest thing ever, I made it once and people request it all the time)

Joe: Is good at making drinks specifically. He makes a mean margarita and is good at making mixed drinks and cocktails, but otherwise is an average chef with regards to food. Makes very good nachos though.

Doc: Like Cleo, Doc is good at making a few very specific dishes. He makes several German specialties and is also very good at treating vegetables, but outside of these specialties he is rubbish.

Bdubs: Stereotypical grill dad. At least he thinks so. His seasonings consist almost exclusively of basic spices. Meat is the only thing he cooks, but otherwise possesses no real flare for cooking. Despite this, he thinks very highly of his skills, and the food he puts out isn’t bad really, so the Hermits still let him cook every once in a while.

Scar: Scar always tries his absolute best, and his cooking swings wildly from perfection to the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten in your life. There is no in between. It’s 50/50 what you’re going to get, but he has fun either way.

Jevin: makes a mean Mac and cheese, but outside of this, he is a very basic cook. He makes himself sandwiches and grilled cheese and maybe some pasta, but otherwise doesn’t cook much else.

Hypno: Ok. He can kill something and cook it, but he’s not the best butcher and his food is just kind of thrown together. There’s no real theme to any plate he puts out. He’s half decent with seasonings and spices though.

XB: Can make fried rice and that’s about it.

Keralis: Can copy other people’s dishes when given instructions, but when left alone has no idea what he’s doing.

False: Doesn’t really cook much. She probably could, but most of the time she’s after something quick and easy. Whenever she gets hungry she just grabs an apple from the bowl or eats whatever leftovers are in the fridge cold.

Etho: Lives almost exclusively off of instant ramen.

Zedaph: treats the kitchen like a chemistry lab and anyone eating is a test subject. He’s not allowed in the kitchen very often.

Xisuma: This man could burn juice. I don’t know how, but he’d do it. He is a sopping wet cat in the kitchen. He’s the type that tries to cook but fails so miserably that every time he just ends up making a bowl of cereal for himself instead.

Grian and Pearl: have cooking battles competing over who can make the most disgusting dish. Grian is like the little toddler that always wants to help but is so bad that no one will let him. He’s also always the one standing over your shoulder and sneaking bites of things when you turn your back. Pearl can’t cook herself, but she has good knife skills so she is often allowed to help out with the prep work.

Mumbo: Will eat anything and everything you throw in front of him. He does not care. He also does not cook at all. When left to fend for himself he demolishes the kitchen by eating every raw ingredient in the pantry. This man would eat a sack of flour if you let him.

Tango: This man does not eat unless you make him. You have to physically drag him to the table to get any kind of nourishment, but he is always very appreciative of other peoples cooking.

Iskall: Orders takeout exclusively.

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neuroprincess · 9 months

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Yellowjackets - They cook for you (Preferences)

Classification: Fluff

Pairing: Lottie Matthews, Misty Quigley and Natalie Scatorccio

Warnings: None

Word count: +800

Lottie Matthews

Having been raised with treats and a maid to make anything she wanted to eat, learning to cook was never a priority while growing up. After the crash and time in Switzerland she acquired some autonomy, enough to learn the basics and not starve, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, if she risks pancakes with uneven edges. And when she's inspired often risks it, so begins a Saturday morning, the weather is mild, it's a rare quiet day in Camp Green Pine and you're sleeping over the clock, perfect moment to surprise with a breakfast in bed... and maybe almost set the stove on fire while trying to make pancakes.

"Lottie!" you yell running to the windows, opening them all so the smoke clears as soon as possible while she coughs trying to put it out "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

In fifteen minutes everything stabilizes after the scare, she tries to explain and in the end you are both laughing about what happened, but the intention of the act warms your heart, Lottie is so attentive, kind and dedicated. She'll do anything for you, even if it means almost killing herself in the process.

"How about a sandwich?" the brunette asks excitedly and gets up without even waiting for an answer "We have bread, cheese, ham? Do you want some? I can make sandwiches."

Misty Quigley

This woman has a lot of talents and one of them is cooking, however it's not a big hobby that she dedicates herself to, in fact routine makes her more practical when it comes to food. She keeps tupperware everywhere for a reason. Was and is like that for a long time, at least until she meets you, not pretentious at all when she shows up with brownies on your doorstep and a spaghetti at lunchtime, but Misty goes crazy in euphoria when you say that you loved everything. It doesn't take long for her to show up with more and more recipes, somehow mysteriously she knows all your tastes, from what you love to the little things you don't like to eat, there's never anything in the dishes you're allergic to.

"Dinner at your place tonight?" she asks taking a bite of her own lunch salad "You can see the chef working." and winks, a little smug, especially since you're still smiling, eating contentedly.

"How about yours? I want to see the chef in her natural habitat." you propose genuinely "And I'd really like to meet Caligula."

Hours later you're together in her small kitchen, not caring about the lack of space because this feels comfortable and nice, it's almost a slow dance, she asks you to get something for her, hips rubbing, fingers touching slightly, music playing in the background and lots of smiles exchanged. Caligula is at the table, wanting some of your attention too, he just adored you and that's a great sign for both of them. Misty leans over, spooning some of the sauce into the palm of her hand and stretches it out for you to taste, it's automatic, by the time she realizes it's too late and she's sure you'll, at the very least, think it's weird. But you just put your lips there, soft and tempting. She almost faints.

"It's perfect."

Natalie Scatorccio

She grew up before the time in some ways, with parents like hers Natalie had to learn many things for own survival, one of them was cooking, while her mother was too busy watching some show on TV and father drinking she managed in some way, that's how she started and after a few weeks found herself doing almost everything. She knows how to make the necessary things, but it doesn't guarantee that it's of the best quality or that she remembers the recipes no matter how simple they are. When she became an adult not much changed, except that she barely has a place to do it, patience, memory, most meals are made in cafeterias, junk food and, the most practical, snacks from the vending machine near the hotel room.

"Will this work?" the brunette asks as she re-reads the website, a page of recipes on the screen "One egg still seems like a bit much."

"But works, if they say it works, then it probably will. Who lies on a recipe website?"

"People lie everywhere, Y/N." she defends her own point and rolls the eyes, picking up a fork to mix in the mug, still a little disbelieving.

After a lot of mixing and one minute that feels like an eternity in the microwave, a nice and soft chocolate cake is done, it doesn't smell as good as she thought it would, but the taste seems to have won Nat over. She soon makes another, and another, and another, just in case you're not satisfied. There's also a small stock of instant noodles in the cupboard, snacks she bought earlier in the day. Popcorn is already popped, beers are on the table, if you prefer wine it will be there too.

"I'm a master at the art of improvisation." Natalie says handing you the mug cake, a proud smile on the lips "Ready for movie night?"

Join my taglist here ^^

#yellowjackets #lottie matthews x reader #misty quigley x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #yellowjackets x reader #preferences

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lullabyes22-blog · 9 months

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Snippet - Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO - A Fine Line

Vi slowly wins over Caitlyn's parents...

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

The kitchen is a modest sunlit geometry. Vi gets started on breakfast. Caitlyn handles the tea-brewing and the clean-up. After moving in together, they've developed a system. Vi has taught Caitlyn how to hang her towels, do the dishes, fold the laundry. Caitlyn has taught Vi how to pick wines, deposit a check and write 'Thank-You' cards. The slow ramp-up of domesticity is sweetened by a shared sense of novelty.

It’s a freedom neither of them has enjoyed before.

Cracking two eggs one-handed against the bowl, Vi begins whisking. Into the silky saffron froth, she sprinkles a pinch of sea salt and a dash of cayenne. Poverty and pickles go hand-in-hand—that's the saying belowground. Yet Piltover is the real loser when it comes to zesty cuisine. All the premium produce in the world doesn't compensate for their lack of spice.

Since moving in together, Vi has shown Caitlyn a dozen ways eggs can be served. There is no wrong way to cook one, so long as it's flavorful. Ditto for stews, soups, sandwiches. Her sump-vole fritters—a barbarism to most Topsiders—have won the highest praise. Since then, Caitlyn has sampled all the dishes in Vi's repertoire: a charcuterie board of pickles, rice and onion pilaf, crawfish stuffed with cheap macaroni.

Last week, she'd invited her parents on a tentative dinner. Their first together in a month.

Councilor Kiramman had stared at her plate with polite revulsion. But as the wine flowed and Mister Kiramman proffered genial compliments on every dish, the matriarch began to thaw. Midway, she'd tasted a forkful of Vi's sump-vole fritter. A startled smile had softened her severe face. In that moment, the resemblance to Caitlyn was uncanny.

"Where did you learn this dish, child?"

"Down-low, Councilor," Vi replied, smiling.

"Is it always so spicy?"

Vi cocked her head. "There's a fine line between good flavor and a hole in your gut. You gotta walk it."

Caitlyn had stifled a snort. Mister Kiramman hid a smile behind his handkerchief. The Councilor was less amused. But the food had woven its magic, and by the time dessert was served—a tart berry crumble, the only dish Vi could make without setting off smoke detectors—she'd unbent so far as to ask Vi directly for the recipe, instead of addressing Vi obliquely through her husband.

Vi had given her the recipe: a personal gift.

Afterward, Caitlyn grinned with unabashed pride, Vi's hands clasped in hers. "I think she's warming to you."

"Like mother, like daughter, huh?"

Caitlyn's kiss was all the answer Vi needed.

#arcane #arcane league of legends #forward (never forget)/xoxo #forward but never forget/xoxo #arcane vi #vi #arcane caitlyn #caitlyn kiramman #caitvi #caitlyn x vi #vi x caitlyn #cassandra kiramman #tobias kiramman #snippet

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fang-and-feather · 3 months

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Ikemen Vampire - Isaac x Arthur x Reader - Triadverse AU

Words: 625

Summary: Once upon a time, the three of you had been wandering stars, Isaac the most lost of them all. But you found your place in the sky by each other’s sides. A happy constellation formed on bonds of love. And it grew, and now it was changing.

Written for May's Polyam Shipping Day Prompt: Stars from @polyamships

Not the fic I expected to write, but the fic that came out. Sometimes I think I give myself too little time to write, but I'm afraid if I don't I'll just start tearing it appart or throwing it away and restarting, again and again. That's what happened with this one.

Next Chapter / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

“Isaac?”

He almost jumped at the sound of your voice, finally tearing his attention from the telescope and the mystery on the other side of the lens.

“When you offered to come get Julia, we didn’t expect you to just take her place.” Arthur laughed.

Despite the words of complaint, Isaac was surprised to find himself wrapped in a thicker blanket, sandwiched between you and Arthur.

“She found something interesting. It is bright like a star but moves like a comet. I never saw something like that.”

A smoking mug was thrust before him, keeping him focused on Earth and his partners.

It was a mixture of hot chocolate and coffee that Arthur had taken a liking to. His with less coffee and a bit more cream than the original recipe you made for Arthur. But although each of you drank it slightly different, it had become your triad’s drink.

Isaac took a long sip, while you and Arthur snuggled closer to him, drinking from your own cups.

“It might be a lost star, trying to find her own constellation.” Arthur suggested.

“I’m serious, Arthur.” Isaac protested.

“Me too, luv. Just like you found us. Don’t you think our family is just like a constellation?”

Maybe, in a very simple way, every triad was. They were individual stars, connected into a group. But they would always be just a triangle. Unless you counted the kids, who would grow to form their own triads, connecting their parents’ ones in a vast network.

“I think we would be more of a galaxy. A constellation soon to be linked to others.”

“Soon?” You turned to face him. “Do you think it will be that soon?”

“Before she went to bed, we were talking about the star, and about Giovanna, since she saw it first. I don’t know when their relationship changed, but even I realized it did.”

“And we already know they’re both quite fond of Vincent. It’s not that surprising.” You laughed.

“Just… early.” Isaac added, nodding.

“We’ll just have to watch over our little star for a little longer.” Arthur also turned to look at him.

“So are you really that okay with it?” Isaac asked him.

“Of course I am. She is old enough to make her own decisions.”

But Isaac could see Arthur wasn’t as cool with it as he wanted you two to believe. He had a discreet frown and a slight pout, not as happy that one of his little girls was growing up and falling in love.

And Isaac chuckled, before kissing his husband. He always loved these more insecure reactions from Arthur.

For once, he wasn’t the one anxious or worried. In fact, Isaac felt quite confident that they had raised her well, and happy she found love like that. He trusted her judgment.

“They will be fine. Julia is smart like her father.”

“Like both her fathers.” You added, kissing his cheek.

“You are pretty smart yourself, luv.” Isaac could feel Arthur holding your hand behind his back, as both you and him rested your heads on his shoulders. “And kind. And she took a lot after you too.”

At first, Isaac was unsure of how the children of your surprising family would turn out. Once upon a time, the three of you had been wandering stars too, and he was the most lost of them all. Isaac expected to be alone, and definitely didn’t expect to be a part of the same constellation as Arthur.

But you found your place in the sky by each other’s sides. And he was happy that his oldest daughter was finding her place, her own family, and the love he never thought he would have, but found in the two of you.

Tag List: @tele86, @nightghoul381, @natimiles, @bicayaya, @eventinelysplayground

If you want to be tagged/untagged on future writings, you can reply to this post or send me a message

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

#PolyamShippingDay #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp isaac #ot3: arthur x isaac x reader #polyamory #ikemen vampire #fanfiction #ikevamp fanfic

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beanieman · 1 year

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A Very Specific Scenario That Reminds Me Of YTTD Characters But I Don't Elaborate On Why

Sara Chidouin - You're at the library looking for a book that calls to you. There's no specific genre or title you're looking for, just a sense of wanting something to read. Standing between the shelves, you spot some friends looking for a book. They greet you with a wave before you group up for a joint search. The idea seemed great until you get kicked out of the library for causing a disturbance.

Joe Tazuna - You tell a joke in a crowded room. Everyone laughs and looks at you like you're the funniest person in the vicinity. You'll spend the rest of your life chasing that high.

Gin Ibushi - A stray cat approaches you on the street. It's fluffy body rubs against your leg as it happily purrs in affection. For a moment you think it wants to go home with you, then you recall the leftover sandwich you have in your bag from lunch. You throw a part of the meat to the cat and it runs off with it quickly. You'd be offended if you weren't so amused.

Keiji Shinogi - You people watch as you sit on the park bench. You see a couple walking their dog walking hand in hand. You hear siblings loudly arguing about who will get the front seat. You taste smoke as a woman walks by with a cigarette, her hoodie looking made out of a soft fabric you can imagine the texture of. You smell cheap cologne as a man passes through. He meets your eyes and nods as if he understands what you're doing. It's the most relaxing part of the day.

More Undercut

Alice Yabusame - After seeing a picture of someone attractive online, you decide to cut your hair to mirror their style. The scissors are gripped tightly in your hand as you raise the blade to the strands of hair you no longer want to have. As the first cut removes a chunk of hair, you gasp to yourself, realizing you didn't mean to take off quite so much. Your next step is to quickly Google the names of hairstylists in your area, hoping one of them will have an appointment open for tomorrow.

Reko Yabusame - An energetic song plays over the car radio as you drive toward your road trip destination. Friends sit in the seats beside you sharing inside jokes and telling stories you've all created together. A part of you can't wait to get there and see what adventures await you, another wishes the moment would never end.

Nao Egokoro - You're a child on a summer afternoon who's been playing the pool for hours. The water is pleasantly warm, and your hair reeks of chlorine as the adult present asks if you want a popsicle. A grin races across your face as you enthusiastically request your favorite flavor.

Kazumi Mishima - You find an old journal tucked away in your dresser that you decide to read. You see the words and know they were yours, but they no longer belong to you. The version of you that wrote those logs is long gone as you've changed into a different person through the years. The realization couldn't be more bittersweet.

Q-taro Burgerberg - You struggle to lift the large box from the floor, your arms aching as the weight resists your grasp. You're about to give up and let someone else complete the task when a stranger greets you with a friendly smile and offers help. With their assistance, the box is moved with ease, their presence only lasting a brief moment longer as they wave goodbye and continue with their day. You still think of them from time to time.

Kai Satou - It's your first time cooking a new dish. Ingredients are laid out on the counter along with a recipe you plan to follow step by step. You're excited to try something new and nervous about what could go wrong. Even still, you do your best, and despite a few small mistakes, you're able to make a wonderful meal that makes you proud.

Kanna Kizuchi - The night should be dark, but you see a small light hovering by your face as the humid summer air engulfs you. You hold your hand out and let the small firefly land on your palm. It glows a vibrant light that makes you feel like a small child once more catching fireflies with your brother until your Mother calls you inside. You're torn from the memory when the bug flies off your hand toward the other lights shining vibrantly like a star.

Shin Tsukimi - You take a nap in the late afternoon and don't wake up until the moon is high in the sky. After a brief period of confusion, you walk through your house for a glass of water and realize everyone else went to bed long ago. You're the only one awake and decide to play on your phone until sunrise or sleep greets you. The bright light of your device illuminates your face as you open an app and start to scroll.

Dolls

Ranmaru Kageyama - Your finger hovers over the send button as you look down at the text and read the message you wrote once more. It's a simple line of "Hey. How are you?" meant for a friend that faded from your life with time. A thousand questions and worries race through your mind as you wonder if it's worth sending, before eventually deciding against it.

Naomichi Kurumada - You settle into your seat at the theater for a movie you've looked forward to seeing since it was announced. The lights dim and you look up to the screen in joy as the title card flickers in. You glace at the people around you and they all share the same excited energy.

Anzu Kinashi - Your friend recommends you a new media that seems like it would be your thing. You only have to indulge in this media for a little bit to understand that this is going to be something that sticks with you. A rush of excitement pulses through your brain as you text friend to say how much you enjoyed it before looking for fandom content.

Mai Tsurugi - It's a major holiday and your family hosts. You wake up with the scent of food wafting through the air and the sound of a Hallmark movie is playing in the living room. You jump out of bed to help in the kitchen with a giddy feeling you only have at certain times of the year.

Shunsuke Hayasaka - You cross another item off your to do list as the late afternoon arrives and you aren't done with your chores. There's plenty left to do, and a frustrated sigh leaves your lips at the realization you're getting very little down time today.

Hinako Mishuku - Jack-o-lanterns cover the street as kids excitedly knock on each door looking a trick or treat. You put on your costume to greet them and hand out the candy they desire. Once the last child has left into the night you turn on your tv and flick through the various scary movies playing to decide which one will thrill you with scares tonight.

#This Is A Writing Exercise Before I Have To Do Something Similar For Class #YTTD #ranmaru kageyama #naomichi kurumada #Anzu Kinashi #mai tsurugi #shunsuke hayasaka #hinako mishuku #Shin Tsukimi #q taro burgerberg #Reko Yabusame #Nao Egokoro #Gin Ibushi #Kai Satou #Alice Yabusame #Joe Tazuna #sara chidouin #kanna kizuchi #keiji shinogi

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taigathenotsonicewing · 6 months

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Random (human au?) wings of fire headcanon: Winter can’t cook. Like at all. He’d burn a hard boiled egg. He’s banned from cooking without supervision. He probably set off a ton of smoke alarms as a kid.

rest of the jade winglet:

Qibli on the other hand is an amazing cook.

Moon can make like two or three recipes without fail. (Spaghetti, cookies and grilled cheese probably)

Kinkajou mostly eats sliced fruit.

Carnelian probably has a pb&j sandwich every day as her lunch.

Turtle thinks salt and pepper are spicy.

Umber, like Qibli is an amazing cook. He likes tater tots.

#wof #wings of fire #dragons #wof headcanon #wings of fire headcanons #headcanon #wof hc #hc #winter wof #turtle wof #carnelian wof #qibli wof #moon wof #umber wof #kinkajou wof #human au wof #Wof human au

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snobgoblin · 1 year

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here's what I think Gorillaz would um. taste like if you kissed them. written by someone who's never kissed !

2-D: that's easy tea and cigarettes. maybe a cookie sometimes. or, biscuit? is that what they call it. yeah usually tastes like sweets

Murdoc: cigarettes also, maybe booze. sometimes you get a bonus tooth in your mouth if you kiss him too hard. oh I bet his mouth tastes like when you lick your coat zipper too

Russel: there is literally no telling. have you seen his recipes!?!?!?! dudes kisses are like playing bean boozled. some consistent things seem to be hot sauce and cheese, so you could probably count on tasting that

Noodle: man idk what she eats regularly tbh, and she doesn't seem to smoke as much as the others... she's a mystery. I'm gonna say when you kiss her it tastes like pure wifi bc the only thing I've seen her consume is her social media feed

Ace: EZ bad breath and sno cone syrup. sometimes pizza but it's never just a normal pizza no no it's like shrimp pizza or something. oh and stale cheese sandwich

#gorillaz headcanons #gorillaz #ace copular #ace gorillaz #murdoc niccals #murdoc gorillaz #2 d gorillaz #ace ppg #stuart pot #2d gorillaz #russel gorillaz #russel hobbs #noodle gorillaz #noodle guitarist from gorillaz

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cevansbrat0007 · 2 years

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Your Little Monsters

Summary: After an exhausting day, all Reader wants is some intimate, alone time with her husband. But her children have other plans. Andy Barber x Black!Reader, BiBi Barber, KitCat Barber, RoRo Barber, A.J. Barber

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Bubble Baths, Exasperated/Horny Reader, Exasperated/Horny Andy, Adorably Scarred Barber Kids, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of the Growing Pains Series. Please enjoy and let me know what you think. Semi-proofriend. All mistakes are my own.

___

Your whole Friday had been chaotic from the start, and you were over it.

It begins with Andy sleeping through his alarm, which meant (by default) so had you. After helping him get ready, you’re off to go wake up the kids. The only one who willingly complies is your sweet little RoRo. She immediately gets out of bed when you ask, right before sleepily walking into a wall.

And then she apologizes to the damned thing before turning around and going to the bathroom.

You have to physically pull KitCat out of from under the covers and threaten to take away her Kindle privileges to get her to act right.

“I’m gonna write about dis’.” She threatens. “You no look good.”

“Do your worst, kiddo.” You tell her, unfazed by your potentially unflattering portrayal in your six-year-old’s journal. “Now go brush your teeth.”

And A.J. had an accident, his first in months. He’d leaked right through his pull-up. You call Andy to take care of him as you strip his sheets from the bed and throw them in the corner. Your District Attorney was already late. What would an extra twenty minutes hurt? You tell Andy to just give him a quick sponge-off in your bathroom and then you move on to your oldest daughter’s room.

You find BiBi sitting up in her bed.

“I would like to make it known that I do not wish to attend school today.” She tells you.

“Aww.” You respond, almost out of patience. “Well, do it anyway.”

She huffs out a breath. “If I do, it will be under duress.” You suddenly regret buying her that “Word of the Day” calendar.

“I’ve got a couple good words for you, sweetheart. It’s called truancy laws. Now get dressed and get in the bathroom. We’re running late.”

She crosses her arms and glares at you. “I’m serious. If you’re not dressed in five minutes, I’m sending Daddy in here to pick out your clothes and you know he’s horrible at matching outfits.”

BiBi huffs again before propelling herself out of bed.

“Thank you.”

When it was all said and done, of course you’d missed the bus. Once again, with the help of Andy, you get your kids loaded into your car before handing each of them a strawberry poptart.

And you make it to their school five minutes before the first bell is supposed to ring. Only to realize that you’d left all of their packed lunches in the fridge.

Damn it!

___

After bringing the kids their lunches, you spend the rest of the day doing laundry and running errands.

You knew via quick text from Andy that he’d had a rough day in court. They were just in preliminary proceedings as far as you knew, but he had been a little off his game today.

Preaching to the choir, Big Man.

But still, you felt bad for your husband. He prided himself on his ability to do his job, so he took setbacks personally.

You’ll make him feel better tonight. You vow.

You look down at your phone, realizing you only had an hour before you had to pick the kids up from school.

Time to focus on dinner. Tonight’s meal was barbecue pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, and french fries.

With a sigh, you jog into the kitchen to check on your crockpot pork roast. Grabbing a fork, you test its tenderness. You bring a piece of the shredded meat to your mouth and let out a groan. Between the onion and garlic, along with the dash of cinnamon and liquid smoke, the flavor was wonderful.

Reaching for another fork, you begin to shred the roast, which falls apart with ease. Once that part is done, you reach for your homemade barbeque sauce. This particular recipe belonged to your late grandmother, so you made sure to hold it close to the vest. Just like you did with your great grandmother’s macaroni and cheese recipe.

Not that you were making that tonight.

You check your phone.

Forty minutes until pick-up.

It only takes you a few minutes to whip up a quick slaw to go with the sandwiches. You’d cheated this time and bought pre-packaged shredded cabbage instead of slicing your own, which sped things along. But you still made your own dressing.

Once it’s finished, you put it in the fridge to chill. And then you turn off your crockpot. After that, you reach into the cupboard to grab the extra cheesy Goldfish Crackers. You and your kiddos loved these suckers. They were addicting! You also loved that the first ingredient in every bag of crackers was *smiles*. Anyway, you quickly pour some into four different snack bags.

17 minutes until pick-up.

Snagging your keys, you jump in the car and make the trip to your kids’ school for the third time that day. You earn your spot in the pick-up line with seven minutes to spare.

Your kids come rushing out, excited to see you. After hugs and snapping little people into car seats, you take off for home. Before you pull away, you hand out the snacks so that you can hopefully enjoy a little silence.

It works for a while, which is great because you eventually end up stuck in traffic. Fucking construction.

And that’s when the arguing starts.

Someone’s bag had more crackers than everyone else (Bianca). Somebody was touching someone who didn’t want to be touched (A.J.). Someone was being a meanie and kept sticking their tongue out at everyone (Katrina). And now someone was crying (Rory).

You try to break it up and calm things down. You do! But then you feel a headache forming behind your left eye. And when it gets to a point when you feel like losing your cool and screaming at your children, you decide to be quiet.

You remember how much your parents used to scream and hit to get you and your siblings to behave, and that never solved a damned thing. So, you grit your teeth and work on getting your temper in check.

Thank you goodness you were almost back at the house.

___

Things calm down once you get home and your babies can retreat to their own spaces and activities. RoRo goes for her coloring book. KitCat grabs A.J. and begins to read him a book about Spot the Dog. And BiBi curls up on the couch for a little nap.

Fine. With. You.

You’re frying the french fries when Andy walks through the door. You know he’s home because all of your kiddos begin to shriek with excitement.

Good. You think. Exhaust yourselves with Daddy. Mama needs her space.

Feeling like a bad mom, you grab a bottle of Advil and pop three pills before chasing them with a glass of ice water. Keeping an eye on the first batch of fries as they cook in the oil, you turn the crockpot on “warm”.

Your mind stays focused on dinner until you feel two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, followed by the whisper of a kiss before a face buries itself in the curve of your neck.

“Hi, my love. I missed you today.” Andy murmurs against your heated skin as he inhales your scent.

“I missed you too.” You tell him, allowing yourself to relax against his muscular frame. “Baby, is it bad that I want to feed our little monsters and put them to bed like now? I love them dearly, I do. And I swear I’d kill for them, but I’m ready for the day to be done.”

“Nope. Not at all. I love ‘em too, but I want my wife tonight. So, I say we feed ‘em, bathe ‘em, and put ‘em to bed as soon as we can. It doesn’t make us bad parents. It makes us human and -”

“Shit, the fries! Hold that thought, honey.” Grabbing your strainer, you begin to dump them onto a paper towel covered plate before lightly salting them. Once you’re done and you’ve scraped out the brown bits from the pot, you add more fries to the oil and start the process again. The first batch was for the kids. The second would be for you and Andy.

“What’s for dinner, Y/N?” Your husband asks.

“Barbecue pulled pork sandwiches.” You say as you grab the buns. “With homemade sauce and slaw, along with french fries.”

Andy groans in excitement.

“Yes! I fucking love your pulled pork!” Your man does a little jig before picking you up and setting you on the counter. “You and all your delicious fucking food are the reasons I workout all the time.” He growls as he places soft, warm kisses along your jawline. “Always trying to fatten me up. Always taking such good care of me and the kids.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you nibble on his lower lip before sucking it into your mouth. Andy growls, prompting you to release him with a slight pop.

You flash him an impish grin.

“I figure if I fatten you up, then you’ll have a hard time running away from me.” You tell him with a giggle. “To be continued, Andy Bear. I gotta get the fries again.”

He reluctantly lets you hop down so you can repeat your earlier process. And then you pull the slaw out of the fridge.

“You want me to make yours or do you want to change your clothes first?” You ask as you grab your tongs and begin to mix up the meat.

“I’ll eat that now. And then I’ll eat you later.” Your man doesn’t miss how his words make your thighs clench together in anticipation. “Oh yeah, I’m definitely saving room for dessert, baby girl.” He purrs as he watches you prepare his food. “I love making you blush. It’s so fucking adorable.”

“Well, stop it so I can concentrate, you menace. Slaw on the sandwich or on the side?”

“Never. And on the sandwich, please.”

You pile his sandwich high with the pork and then top it with the slaw. And then you load his plate with fries before handing it to him, along with a bottle of ketchup. He immediately takes a bite and lets out a satisfied moan.

“Taste alright?” You ask him.

“Fucking better than alright. Goddamned delicious.”

“Glad you like it. And watch your language, buddy. The kids are nearby. Now, you’re gonna have to get your own drink, sweetheart. I’ve got to make the kids plates.” You quickly put their meals together and set them on the table alongside Andy.

“Babies! Time for dinner!”

Grabbing two sippy cups as well as two plastic cups, you pour everyone some freshly squeezed lemonade and place them around the table as well, just in time for your kids to run into the room and take their seats.

You’re grateful when Andy pauses his meal to put ketchup on everyone’s plates as you make your own sandwich. Once you’re done, you join them at the table.

“Pass the ketchup please!”

___

Two hours later…

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Between you and Andy, you had your kids fed, bathed, and tucked in by 7:45pm. It was a little on the early side for a Friday, but they needed sleep and so did you. Besides, they’d all most likely end up in Bianca’s bed anyway. You guys had been smart to get her a full-sized bed instead of a twin.

Walking into your bedroom, you shut the door behind you and stretch.

All you wanted to do was fuck your husband, snuggle up, and go to sleep.

“Andy?” You call out.

“Bathroom, baby girl.” Padding your way towards the sound of his voice, you smile when you see that he’s run you both a bubble bath. He’s even lit a couple of candles, making the entire room smell like lavender and vanilla.

You watch as he takes off his shirt, leaving his deliciously toned upper body bare to your gaze.

“C’mere, Y/N.” Your man purrs, his normally clear cerulean blue eyes darkening with lust. Doing as he asks, you keep moving until you’re standing in front of him, where he hands you a glass of chilled champagne.

Taking advantage of your closeness, you rub your small hand up and down his chest, allowing your fingers to trace your name where it’s tattooed on his skin.

“I love you.” You whisper to him. “Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And I’d be lost without you, my sweet girl. Every damn day.” He pulls away to dim the lights and crack the door (to manage the steam), which you take as your cue to strip.

You find yourself blushing as he watches you remove your clothes. Biting your lip, you resist the urge to hide your body from him, which is ridiculous since he’s seen it all before. You worked out when you could, and you tried to eat well, but you weren’t a fan of the stretch marks that adorned your hips and thighs. They weren’t bad, necessarily, but they did make you feel self-conscious.

Your husband did not care. Not one bit. The last time you’d brought it up, he’d called them the marks of a warrior, and your wonderfully ridiculous man had meant it.

“These marks are a reminder of your fight to bring our four babies into the world, so please don’t hide them from me, baby girl.” He’d murmured as you’d cuddled together in bed one night. “Don’t ever think you have to hide your body from me.” His fingers had begun tracing several of the marks on your outer thigh. “It hurts when you don’t trust me with all of you.”

“I swear you grow more gorgeous with each passing day,” he tells you as his gaze leisurely peruses your hips and ass, his skilled fingers itching to touch.

“I don’t know about all that.” You murmur, feeling shy.

“Well, I do.” Andy grunts as he removes his pants. “And it’s the truth.”

He goes to reach into one of the bathroom drawers of your his and hers sink, specifically one of your drawers. You watch as your husband takes out some of the jojoba oil you like to use on your hair and scalp. Pouring some into his hands, he proceeds to apply it to your wild curls before piling them on top of your head and securing your mane with a hair tie.

Wiping himself off, he goes to refresh the bath. Andy rewarms the water and adds more bubbles. And then, with a slight shrug, he lights one more candle. Once he’s satisfied with the temperature, he holds out his hand.

“Let’s get in, baby.”

Smiling, you bounce over to him and let him help you into the spacious tub. And then he joins you, pulling your small body against his own.

“Oh, god this feels good.” You moan as the hot water soothes your tight muscles.

“I’m glad. I’d hate to sit here feeling like I was being boiled alive for nothing.”

“It’s not that hot.” You giggle before turning to face him, your breasts pressing against his firm chest. “Andy Bear?”

“Yes, little love?”

“I want kisses.”

Without a word he captures your lips with his own. It’s a slow, sensual kiss. Your tongues mingling and exploring each other’s mouths as if you had all the time in the world. Eventually, your man pulls away to nip at your lips, your chin, your jaw…anywhere he can reach.

You let out a little whine, prompting him to return his mouth to yours. He smiles into the kiss, loving the fact that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. Andy’s hands go to tenderly grip your ass under the water, gently rubbing and kneading your flesh.

Moaning, you two deepen the kiss.

And then you hear a scream.

Jerking apart, you notice that all four of your children have joined you in your bathroom.

Bianca picks up a distraught Rory while desperately squeezing her eyes shut and muttering something about everything burning. “Gross!” Katrina shouts before throwing an arm over her face while using her free hand to pull A.J. backwards. He doesn’t mind. Your little boy is too busy wondering why Mama and Dada are “takin’ a baf’ togever”.

“Oh my god!” You yell, as you cover yourself by curling into Andy’s body and sinking deeper into the bubbles. “How come none of my four incredibly smart children know how to freaking knock?!” You bellow. “Go to bed and stay there!”

You watch as a little hand reaches out to grab your bathroom door and shut it. And then you hear a knock.

Andy laughs softly as you roll your eyes.

Sometimes your babies were so freaking literal.

“What?” You snap.

“We have a question!” KitCat yells through the door.

“Ask it tomorrow!” Your husband calls out.

“But, but is impotan’ Dada!” RoRo says.

“Are any of you sick?” He growls.

“No.” They all call out at the same time.

“Are any of you on fire?”

“No.”

“Do you have any broken bones?”

“No.”

“Then you’re all fine.” Andy grunts, trying to hold back even more laughter. “Go back to bed.”

When you don’t hear anything, you assume your monsters have finally accepted defeat. You let out a sigh before grabbing your loofah. Without saying it, you both know that the mood is ruined.

“We should’ve locked the door.” You tell him as you both wash up.

“Yep. Oh well. I was planning on having my way with you in bed anyway. Our little bubble bath was just a warm-up.”

“And what a lovely warm-up it was.” You lean over to peck his lips before rinsing off your body. Andy steps out first. He dries off and wraps the towel around his waist, before holding one open for you. You step into it and snuggle against him once more.

“Make love to me, Andy.” You whisper as you look into his eyes.

“Your wish is my command, Y/N.”

You open your bedroom door, only to see that your bed is occupied by four little bodies, who are all fast asleep in your bed.

“Are you serious?” You grumble. “Whaa - why?”

“Well,” Andy mumbles, “we did tell them to go to bed. We just never said where.”

With twin sighs, you both wander over to your respective dressers to grab some pajamas. You pull on some sleep shorts before Andy tosses you one of his shirts to wear. Once you’re dressed, you walk into your closet and pull out a pile of blankets. You proceed to make a pallet on the floor. And then you go back to grab pillows.

“Baby girl.” Andy whispers as you prep your makeshift bed. You look at him and then find yourself having to hold back a squeal as he lifts you in his arms. Your man quietly carries you out of the room, down the stairs, and into his office where he locks the door.

Yes! While you might've wanted soft and sweet not too long ago, you'd settle for hard and rough. All you knew was that you needed your man, and you needed him now.

Taking off his shirt and kicking off your shorts, you bend over the edge of his desk. Feeling horny and frustrated, you arch your hips and push your ass up in the air, before turning to look at him over your shoulder.

“Come take your cunt, Daddy. Need you to split me in two with that big cock. Want you to wear me the fuck out so I feel you for days.” You growl.

That’s all the invitation that your husband needs to fuck the shit out of your wet ass pussy.

___

Twenty minutes later, feeling sated and satisfied, the two of you make your way up the stairs. You climb onto your little bed on the floor and snuggle with your husband, enjoying the sweet ache between your thighs.

“Good night, my sweet girl.”

“Good night, my Big Man. Sweet dreams.”

___

You wake up the next morning, still on the floor, but this time you’re surrounded by children. RoRo is asleep on Andy’s chest, while BiBi is tucked in the crook of his right arm.

A.J. is snuggled between the both of you, while KitCat’s little body is half sprawled atop your own. You shake your head and smile, This was your life now, and if you were being honest, it was pretty great.

KitCat stirs for a moment. Opening her eyes, she whispers “Mama, we still have a question. Can I ask it now?”

“Yes, sweet baby.” You press a kiss to her curls. “What is it?”

“Well, we jus’ wanted tah know if we could sleep wif’ you. Das’ why we fell asleep in dah big bed. But you when you no get in, we come down here.”

Ahh. It all made sense now.

“Yes, you can sleep with us, my love. In fact, how about we get a little more sleep before we decide what to make for breakfast, alright?”

She nods and snuggles deeper into your side, as does A.J. With a sigh, you drift off, feeling thankful for your little monsters.

END

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fio-renze · 26 days

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Cooking irritated her to no end.

It never seemed to matter how much effort she put into reading the recipe and following the steps, something went wrong. This time rice had burned, caking to the bottom of the pan so bad she’d just thrown the whole thing in the trash and smoking up the apartment enough that all the windows had to be thrown open to help dissipate while she sat and fanned the alarm spells with a sheet tray.

Pyraelia had offered to pay her personal chef extra so he could work at her apartment some days, but that was embarrassing and she was far too proud to accept the offer. She’d be lying if she said her sister’s success didn’t chafe a little.

Fiorenze frowned and picked through her mostly empty ice box; at this point it was mostly old take out that wouldn’t reheat as well and, in some cases, was just the other side of ‘off’. In a fit it all went into the bin, too — something she internally chided herself for as a waste of money she had to be careful to afford anymore.

That was about all her life was anymore, anyway. A waste.

Her stomach growled as she pulled on her jacket and laced up her boots. Dalaran, at least, had a number of little shops and food stalls to help feed the people in the floating city. Her favorite made many varieties of griddled cheese sandwiches and usually threw in a square of whatever desert they had on hand in for free. Maybe that was pity, but she found she usually didn’t mind.

Eventually she’d need to replace that pan, and try cooking something else again — but for now it wasn’t worth dwelling on.

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aristocratic-otter · 3 months

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Introducing the first of my fics from the Lady Ruth Charity Zine,

The Bother About Brownies

Part 3 of the Dragonverse (Caution: this story is T, but the other two in the 'verse are E).

Art by @frjsti

Summary:

Baz is tasked with creating a dessert for the triplets' school cake sale. Brownies are such an easy recipe. What could go wrong? Everything.

“Ebb? What’s this?”

I found it when I was cleaning out Ebb’s backpack (which I should really do more often. I found not only a crushed and moldy half-eaten peanut butter sandwich, but also a squashed and juicy orange in the depths of the bag) (neither my nose, nor my hands will ever be the same). The paper is bright green, crumpled and stained with orange juice and other things that are less identifiable.

My scatterbrained daughter tumbles out of her room, flaps her wings twice to right herself, and then gallops over to me, giggling.

“Yes papa?” she asks, all big eyes and innocence.

“What,” I repeat, shaking the maltreated paper for emphasis, “is this?”

Ebb looks at it, and I swear I can see her mentally scratching her head. Then her eyes light up and she says, “Oh! Miss Sherry asked me to give it to you!”

I fight hard to keep from rolling my eyes. “And when was this?” I ask.

Again, the cogs turn in my seven-year old’s brain. I can almost smell them smoking (not as unlikely as you’d think, given my children’s draconic ancestry). Finally she says, “Monday?”

“Is that a question?” I smirk.

She shakes her head. “It was Monday. I remember ‘cuz Nat swatted me with his tail right before snack time, and I started to cry and Miss Sherry said “Come on Pitches, it’s only Monday!” And she asked me to take you that paper just after I got my backpack out to get my snack.”

Read on AO3

#co/ws/awtwb #Lady Ruth's Charity Zine #snowbaz #Dragon babies #Canon divergent #future fic

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bitbybitwrites · 7 months

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If I Can Make Your Heart My Home - Recipe and Song list - Chp 16, 17 and 18

Here is the music/recipe wrap-up for chapters 16, 17 and 18!

You can see the recipes/music under the cover art by @datshitrandom

Some spoilers are below, so if you’d like to read the fic first, click here

Click below for the recipe and song lists for:

Chapters 1, 2 and 3, Chapters 4, 5 and 6, Chapters 7, 8 and 9, Chapters 10, 11 and 12 , Chapters 13, 14 and 15

To see the YouTube playlist for the fic, click here.

******

Chapter 16

Mood music:

youtube

Recipies:

You'll find Victoria sponge, Tea sandwiches and Kurt's cookies in earlier chapter recipe wrap ups ( see links above)

“Besides, it's not all for me. I share with my sister Jean. By the way, she happens to enjoy those chouquettes you make,” Chef Sylvester tossed out as she continued peering at him over her glasses.

*****

Chapter 17

Mood music:

youtube

Recipes:

"Is he off to go take lunch with his boyfriend, then?" Santana asked sarcastically as she continued vigorously stirring the batch of Ceylon Chicken Curry soup she made for the luncheon.

****

Chapter 18

Mood music:

youtube

Soon, a bouncy salsa started playing. Trent wiped his hands on his apron and pulled Santana into an impromptu dance. She laughed and played along for a few seconds only.

youtube

Recipies:

"My pozole," Santana said, smacking him on the arm as she pulled away to return to the stove. "Don't you dare make me ruin my Abuela's recipe. Find another dance partner."

Santana's pozole, the recipe of which was handed down to her by her beloved abuela, was simmering on the stovetop. That was to be partnered with her father's cochinita pibil. Warm hand-made tortillas sat folded carefully in a towel, ready to be brought to the once dinner was about to be served.

Trent had a Caprese salad in the refrigerator, prepped and ready to serve. He was putting the finishing touches on an impressive charcuterie board, abundant with tidbits that made even Kurt's mouth water. Trent had also just taken out some herb parmesan biscuits out of the oven that he had baked. Kurt had been particularly eying Trent's appetizer version of his parent's boxty recipe that was laid out on a silver serving tray.

As for dessert, that, of course, was left to Kurt. His addition to the meal were the apple hand pies that were his mother's own recipe and his father's favorite dessert ( when he was allowed to have a treat from his usual heart-healthy diet), an assortment of cookies, as well as some mini dark chocolate tartlets sprinkled with sea salt.

Think I got them all. Let me know if I missed any.

Sending all my love to you readers who have given this fic a chance. Wow can't believe we're already up to Chapter 18!

Chapter 19 to be posted soon!

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fanfic #klaine fic #klaine fanart #bitbybitwrites #fic: if i can make your heart my home #klaine #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #datshitrandom #klaine prompt reverse bang 2023 #klainepromptreversebang2023 #kprb2023

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gamerworldhub · 7 months

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Disney Dreamlight Valley Cooking Recipes- Entrees (updated 10/10/23)

Below are all the recipes I could find, as of right now, for appetizers. There is a chance that there will be additions later on, seeing the game is still in the works. So keep an eye out for updates (I will post something in the title or the top of this post if there has been an update). If I have missed anything, and it has been a while since I have updated this post, feel free to comment/message me about what is missing and I will add it.

Links to the other recipes: Appetizers Desserts

Apple Cider Glazed Salmon: salmon, apple, sugarcane

Baked Carp: carp, butter

Basil Omelet: basil, egg, cheese, milk

Bouillabisse: any seafood (x2), shrimp, tomato, any vegetable

Carp Salad: carp, lettuce, lemon

Cheese Crispy Baked Cod: cod, cheese, wheat

Chowder: any seafood, any vegetable, garlic, rice, tomato

Creamy Garlic Scallop: lemon, butter, scallop, garlic

Crispy Baked Cad: cod, wheat

Fish Creole: tomato, rice, garlic, any fish, any vegetable

Fish 'n' Chips: any fish, wheat, canola, potato

Fish Pasta: any fish, garlic, wheat, milk

Fish Pie: any fish, wheat, butter

Fish Risotto: any fish, rice, butter

Fish Salad: any fish, lemon, lettuce

Fish Sandwich: any fish, wheat

Fish Soup: any fish, tomato, basil

Fish Tacos: any fish, corn, chili pepper, cheese

Fugu Sushi: fugu, rice, seaweed

Ghostly Fish Steak: here and there fish, bell pepper, lemon, oregano

Greek Pizza: any herb, wheat, cheese, tomato, onion

Grilled Fish: any fish

Grilled Fish Entree: any fish, any vegetable

Gumbo: okra, shrimp,chili pepper, tomato, onion

Hearty Salad: any vegetable (x2), lettuce

Hors d'Oeuvres: any herb

Kappa Maki: seaweed, cucumber, rice

Kronk's Spinach Puffs: spinach, cheese, canola

Lancetfish Paella: lancetfish, shrimp, any seafood, tomato, rice

Leep Soup: leek

Lemon Garlic Swordfish: swordfish, lemon, garlic

Lionless Feast: here and there fish, mushroom, tomato, oregano

Lobster Roll: lobster, butter, wheat, lemon, garlic

Maguro Sushi: tuna, rice, seaweed, ginger

Maki: any fish, seaweed, rice

Margheritta Pizza: any herb, tomato, cheese, wheat

Marvelous Jam: wheat, dreamlight fruit

Mediterranean Salad: cucumber, tomato, onion, any spice, lettuce

Mushroom Pizza: mushroom, wheat, tomato, cheese

Mushu's Congee: rice, egg, ginger, garlic, mushroom

Omelet: egg, cheese, milk

Pan-Fired Anglerfish: anglerfish, tomato, zucchini, potato

Pan-Seared Bass and Vegetables: bass, any vegetable (x2)

Pan-Seared Tilpia and Vegetables: tilapia, any vegetable (x2)

Pasta: wheat, tomato

Peanut Butter Sandwich: peanuts, wheat

Pizza: tomato, cheese, wheat

Poached Basil Butter Sturgeon: white sturfeon, basil, lemon, butter

Porridge: milk, wheat

Porridge with Fruits: milk, wheat, any fruit

Ranch Salad: lettuce, bell pepper, corn, tomato, onion

Ratatouille: tomato, eggplant, zucchini, onion, any herb

Sake Maki: salmon, rice, seaweed

Sake Sushi: salmon, rice

Savory Fish: any fish, lemon

Scrambled Eggs: egg, cheese

Seafood Pasta: any seafood, wheat, milk

Seafood Pie: any seafood, wheat, butter

Seafood Salad: any seafood, lettuce

Seafood Soup: any seafood, any vegetable (x2)

Seared Rainbow Trout: rainbow trout, tomato, onion

Simple Fried Perch: perch, butter, wheat

Smoked Peanut and Anglerfish: peanuts, anglerfish

Sole Meuniere: sole, wheat, butter, lemon

Spaghetti Arrabbiata: chili pepper, tomato, wheat

Spicy Baked Bream: bream, chili pepper, butter

Steamed Fugu: fugu, ginger, garlic

Sushi: rice, any fish

Sweet and Sour Kingfish Steak: kingfish, lemon, sugarcane

Sweet Herring: herring, onion

Sweet Udon: any seafood, sugarcane, rice, dreamlight fruit

Tamagoyaki: egg, sugarcane

Tasty Salad: lettuce, cucumber, any vegetable, any herb

Tasty Veggies: any vegetable, any herb

Tekka Maki: tuna, soya, seaweed, rice

Teriyaki Salmon: salmon, soya, rice, ginger, sugarcane

Tuna Burger: tuna, lemon, onion, wheat, any vegetable

Vegetarian Pizza: any vegetable (x2), tomato, cheese, wheat

Vegetarian Stew: onion, carrot, potato

Vegetarian Tacos: any vegetable, corn, chili pepper, cheese

Veggie Casserole: any vegetable (x2), cheese, any herb

Veggie Pasta: any vegetable, butter, wheat

Veggie Pie: any vegetable, butter, wheat

Veggie Skewers: mushrooms, zucchini, onion, bell pepper

Walleye en Papillote: walleye, basil, oregano, any vegetable

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vriskaserketdaily · 2 years

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i'm sure we have all intuited in our hearts that vriska cannot cook, but i am going to volunteer a hypothesis for what kind of bad cook she is. because obviously there is a difference between a bad cook who just overdoes the meat, boils the vegetables & only uses table salt for seasoning, and a bad cook that can be counted upon to turn even something as simple as a ham sandwich into an unholy inedible concoction.

now hear me out: vriska is over-the-top. bombastic. a maximalist. definitely not, on any level, a pussy. she is also, as others have noted, extremely neglected due to being raised by a spider too big to enter her home and being forced to feed live children to said spider. one cannot expect her to have learned to prepare anything too elaborate in such conditions, nor to necessarily have had access to a fully stocked spice rack. my point being: vriska in the kitchen has one setting, and that is SPICY.

it's not that she particularly likes spicy food, per se, but she's not a pussy and won't have her friends, neighbors, or victims thinking she's a weakling because she skipped out on the heat. she overcompensates. if she's living on packets of hot instant ramen, she's also adding globs of hot sauce to make it even hotter. if her friends are eating potato chips, she's sprinkling cayenne on hers. if someone dares her to eat a ghost pepper she eats four. she's the exact same way in the other direction with sweet flavors, but less often.

now let's suppose, post-game, that vriska is invited to the egbert-crocker house and decides to make something delicious in their state-of-the-art kitchen. they don't have instant ramen; scratch that. they do have pasta and tomato sauce, but . . . what's in all these little plastic jars? and that's the story of how vriska made a tomato sauce with an entire jar of nutmeg, way too much dill, only slightly less cayenne than that, smoked paprika, lemon pepper, and yellow curry powder. she also managed to both over-boil the pasta and set it on fire.

recipes are for nerds and fussy prudes. with a full spice rack, vriska cooks by the seat of her pants, using luck of the draw. unfortunately, vriska's luck is famously rotten, and she just can't catch a break in the kitchen. if her spices are right for the recipe, her proportions are off; if her proportions are right her spice choices are wildly out of left field; if by some miracle both the spices and their proportions are pretty okay, she just can't resist dumping whatever sauces are in the fridge into whatever she's cooking, in whatever amounts she feels like. chili con carne? say hello to horseradish. fondue? meet barbecue sauce. potato soup? salutations to an entire liter of soy sauce. the only thing she can be trusted to safely prepare is a glass of ice water. anything with any more steps than "peel back flap and microwave on high for one minute" has room for embellishment, and boy does vriska love to embellish.

and also she just straight up doesn't know how to prepare things that aren't pre-packaged.

she's a total novice when it comes to real cooking, and as with all things misfortune brought on by hubris shall be her teacher.

#vriska serket #not daily #text #mod 8 #headcanon #i do think she will get better with time but some part of her will always see a strange condiment and be like #what if i dumped like half of this into whatever i'm making #this post is brought to you by the insane curry recipe i came up with this afternoon that turned out amazing but is beyond bonkers #long post

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stardewremixed · 2 years

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🍝SDV Headcanon: Pasta (bachelorettes) 🍝

Yesterday was National Pasta Day. Here are my headcanons involving pasta and the bachelorettes. Farmer is a pasta lover. See my pasta headcanons for bachelors here. What other HC��s would you like to see?

I’m so bummed. I spent like an hour writing these and then the Internet ate it. Meh... okay, let’s try this again.

Abigail

Is into weird, experimental stuff. Fugu noodles? Spicy eel noodles? Pumpkin noodles?

Once made Sebastian a ramen noodle sandwich. He promptly took her back upstairs to teach her how to properly make ramen.

Dyes the noodles black for Spooky Day with a chunky pumpkin tomato sauce. Pierre would raise an eyebrow, but Caroline would be supportive of her daughter’s creativity.

Is more into the desserts post pasta - she would make her unusual pasta dish if the farmer made her favorite pumpkin cheesecake.

If in a romantic relationship, Abigail packs a pasta lunch into the Farmer’s knapsack before going into the mines. Then of course, joins them on an adventure! Definitely with Bilbo Baggins energy.

Maru

Prefers noodle substitutes. Once when she was a kid, she choked on pasta. It’s a psychological thing, but she can’t eat spaghetti. Red sauce. Blech!

Bought a vegetable spiraler tool for making alt-noodles. It’s one of the things she enjoys doing with her mom. Robin likes making beet, carrot, and zucchini spirals.

Her absolute favorite is cheesy cauliflower noodles! She would shyly request fresh cheese from the Farmer if they are friends.

If she has to eat pasta, Maru likes Thai rice noodles (super thin noodles).

Since this girl loves strawberries, she attempted to figure out dessert pasta. Is thrilled to discover a Polish dish with strawberries and cream pasta.

Maru also enjoys the heat. Lots of spices added to her pastas. Cilantro. Red curry paste. She would get fresh honey from the Farmer to add to her Sriracha sauce if they are friends.

In a romantic relationship, she is so excited if you offer to make alt-noodles with her. She would worry about what to wear for once, and go to Haley for advice before realizing that she needs to get across town to meet you at the house in time.

Harvey once accidentally ate some of her pasta for lunch. His mouth was on fire for an hour. (Yes, I can picture his hair standing on end).

Leah

Also likes truffles like Harvey. Sometimes she brings him a pasta with truffles dish for lunch because the poor man forgets to take a break and eat.

Marnie let her set up a little smoker on the property. Leah smokes her own meats. If the Farmer keeps goats, Leah would swing by frequently for a sampling of fresh goat cheese for her pasta with smoked bacon dish.

If she’s in a rush, a simple pasta dish with chopped spring onions, garlic, and Balsamic vinaigrette is all she needs.

She enjoys wild caught salmon with her pasta served with fresh herbs.

Leah cans her own sauce with fresh ingredients foraged from the forest and from the Farm. If friends, Leah brings a can over to the Farmer about once a month.

If in a romantic relationship, Leah would join the Farmer for a pasta meal and bring a fresh salad and a bottle of wine to enjoy. She also brings hand-crafted jars for the Farmer to store all their noodles. On the bottom, she would carve “hand crafted with love” and a little heart with her name.

Emily

Loves earthy vegetables with her pasta. Beets, carrots, daikon, onions and garlic.

Oh yes, this girl loves garlic! If the recipe calls for 1 clove, she uses 3. And way too much salt. Haley jokes that it’s her sister’s hair dye that makes Emily loopy when it comes to balancing out her spices. The only person who can handle THAT much garlic is Shane. And he never complains when she cooks for him.

Emily is a hands-on kind-of girl. If friends, harvest vegetables straight from the Farmer’s garden. Shows up wearing a big floppy hat and colorful patchy overalls and sneakers with little handdrawn parrots and rainbows and sunshine.

If in a romantic relationship, Emily accepts the Farmer’s invite to stay for dinner. Emily trusts the Farmer’s process, but would try to be helpful. She would shuck green beans and shell walnuts on the porch for a green bean, walnut, and creamy parmesan noodles dish. Emily is a hugger. She would hug the Farmer repeatedly while they were cooking. If they got annoyed, she laughs it off and says she just loves them so much.

Haley

Asked her dad if angels existed after eating angel hair pasta for the first time as a child. It turned into a long conversation about life, death, and the afterlife.

Pasta is a comfort dish for Haley. Whenever she’s sad, lonely, scared, or upset, she returns to the classics: carbonara.

And she’s a meatballs girl. Doesn’t even need pasta. Leah made BBQ meatballs once at a town event and now she’s addicted.

And a noodles in soup girl. Whenever she’s ill, Emily attempts to make a beef broth and homemade noodles for Haley. It’s way too salty but she appreciates the gesture.

Became friends with the farmer after they made her chicken noodle soup when she was really sick. What a lovely and kind thing to do! Haley brings them sunflowers as a thank you gift. If in a romantic relationship, Haley bakes a pink cake with strawberry frosting and heart sprinkles.

Penny

Knows her way around. Since her mom wasn’t around much, Penny learned to cook at a young age. She actually really enjoys it, but she rarely has the time to work in the kitchen in peace.

Makes macaroni noodle necklaces with Jas and Vincent. Blushes like crazy if you compliment the one she’s wearing.

Gnocchi (with extra potatoes) is her favorite pasta. Pairs perfectly with Emily’s extra garlicky garlic bread.

She enjoys a good shrimp scampi also. Would eat with Elliott every once in awhile and bond over the dish. He’s hopeless in the kitchen. *face-palm*

If in a romantic relationship with the Farmer, she comes over to cook pasta often, handrolling out her noodles. She loves the quiet of the Farmhouse kitchen.

Also, she has a romantic fantasy of being blindfolded and hand fed noodles, especially if the Farmer kisses her neck after the butter drizzles down.

#stardew valley thoughts #sdv headcanon #stardew valley headcanon #sdv abigail #sdv leah #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv maru #sdv penny #sdv sebastian #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sdv shane #foodies of stardew valley

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