#This scene...man...go lwj for being a little more honest with what you want. It's hard; you have a lot of emotional maturity to catch up on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

Note

19 & 25 for salty ask (￣ε￣＠)

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I don’t know if I can pinpoint one thing that I hate the most (except perhaps the easy answer of, like, the fact that people cannot keep CQL stuff out of the MDZS tags).

I guess that one of them would that like people take the “there does not exist a True Reading/a Single Interpretation to a text” to the dumb extreme of like “anything goes because I just need to say that that’s how I see it 🙃 and all of our readings are all equally Valid”. Please, you still need to be able to justify and support that reading beyond “well that’s just how I prefer to think about this/that’s My Interpretation 🙃” if you want to have any credibility when you say that these readings hold as much water as readings/interpretations for which we are presented arguments supported by what can be found in the text or meta-textual engagements with the text. I couldn’t just show up to the fandom and be like “Zidian is an allegory for the fall from grace and MDZS is rooted in christian ideology, actually” with nothing to support that wild thesis and just expect people to be like “well, I guess we all have different readings of the text, uh, how valid of you.”

But honestly I am Boo Boo the Fool to expect otherwise....

How would you end MDZS/Would you change the ending of MDZS?

That’s a good question because MDZS is such a beast of a book that it’s quite hard to tie it all off and chose what note to end it on. I guess as well that with the extras we have technically “two endings” in the sense of what the novel ends on and what the last extra ends on. And, uh, I’ll probably need to unpack both so let’s get into it (only I would turn a salty ask into meta)

Last chapter: “Wangxian part III”

So after meeting MianMian, Wangxian continue to travel to a small town in their efforts to go where the chaos is. WWX is playing footsie under the table at the wine shop, holding onto LWJ’s ribbon. In contrast to this domestic scene, suddenly:

One of the few sitting at the table gloated, “I knew Jin Guangyao had to plummet sooner or later with the things he did! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long, and now he’s finally exposed, hah! One’s deeds will be paid, one way or another—what goes around always comes around!”

The last chapter directly references the prologue, which is something I personally adore in writing, this idea of taking your story full-circle. The difference, this time, is that the villain to be despised as entertainment is not longer WWX, but JGY (I could have done without WWX explicitly telling us so in the text because it is pretty clear however I also know readers miss the most obvious cues so maybe that hand-holding is deserved).

Aside from gossip about JGY, the sects, and the sealing ceremony of the coffin containing NMJ and JGY, there is a moment where an unnamed youth raises a point about the yin hufu.

Suddenly, he heard a young man’s voice, “Then is the Yin hufu really inside the coffin?”

A cloud of silence fell over the wine shop. A moment later, someone answered, “Who knows? Perhaps. What could Jin Guangyao have done with the Yin hufu except for carrying it on him?”

“But there’s no way of telling. Didn’t they say the hufu has become just a piece of scrap iron? There’s no use for it anymore.”

The boy sat alone at a table, holding a sword in his arms, “Is the coffin really firm enough? What would happen if someone wants to see if the Yin hufu is inside or not?”

Immediately, someone raised his voice, “Who’d dare?”

“QingheNieShi, GusuLanShi, and YunmengJiangShi all sent people to guard the cemetery. Who in the world would have the guts to do it?”

Everyone expressed their agreement. The boy didn’t speak up again. He took the teacup from his table and sipped, as though he gave up on his idea. Yet, his eyes hadn’t changed at all.

Wei Wuxian had seen those types of eyes on many faces. And he knew that this definitely wouldn’t be the last time he saw them.

This continues the idea that the cycle that brought about the issues and conflicts in the cultivation world that fueled the story of the novel are not likely to disappear, and that once again it is likely that the “common wisdom” of public opinion will accelerate or allow such troubles to brew.

After they leave the wine shop, LWJ and WWX share a more domestic moment. Amongst others, they discuss the song Wangxian. Through parallel imagery, the novel also reaffirms that LWJ and WWX have become a family by mirroring one of WWX’s few memories of his parents (”Listening to his nonsense, Lan Wangji only grasped the reins of Lil’ Donkey with Wei Wuxian on it and clenched the thin rope in his palm, continuing on their way."). As well, WWX suggests they go back to the CR with a casually comment about missing tianzi xiao which is in reality prompted by the fact that he knew LWJ would be worried about his xiongzhang and shufu since one of the man in the wine shop said that LXC had looked terrible during the sealing ceremony and another commented “What would you expect? In the coffin were his two sworn brothers, while his sect’s juniors kept on running around with a fierce corpse—they even need its assistance on night-hunts! No wonder he’s in secluded cultivation so often. If Lan Wangji still doesn’t go back, I bet Lan Qiren’s gonna start cursing…”. This shows how Wangxian are taking care of one another in their own way, which is very cute.

WWX also provides an in-universe explanation for his bad memory:

Wei Wuxian knew that ‘for once’ referred to how his memory was good for once. He couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t always be so angry about it. It was my fault in the past, alright? Besides, my terrible memory should be accredited to my mom.”

Wei Wuxian propped his arm on Lil’ Apple’s head, spinning Chenqing in his hand, “My mom said you have to remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don’t hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free.”

And then we get the final lines of the novel:

Facing the wind, Wei Wuxian squinted at Lan Wangji’s silhouette. As he criss-crossed his legs, he shockingly found that he could somehow manage to balance himself in such an odd position on the back of Lil’ Apple.

It was only something trivial, yet he looked as if he just discovered a new and interesting occurrence. He couldn’t hold himself back from sharing this with Lan Wangji, calling, “Lan Zhan, look at me, look at me now!”

Just like before, Wei Wuxian called his name with a grin, and he looked over as well.

From then on, he could never move his eyes away again.

I am overall pretty satisfied with this ending, although I wish the last few lines had a stronger thematic resonance, but hey, it is still a romance novel at the heart of it so it also makes sense that it finishes that way. I am sure that there is a case that could be made about how the ending could have been stronger or more impactful, but I do think that it is a perfectly competent one. There are of course more things that could be discussed about how the novel ties in a lot of plot threads, but it is interesting to me to focus on what MXTX decided to show in the ultimate chapter of the novel.

Last extra: “Dream come true”

This extra is basically the equivalent of a book adding another chapter after “and they lived happily ever after” in order to show you what that happily ever after could look like for these characters. If the novel had only had the tone of this extra, it would have gotten boring pretty fast. But as it is, as an extra, it is just this little delightful piece of fluff that also gives us more backstory about WWX’s infatuation with LWJ during his first life. It is sweet to the point of cavities, but hey nothing wrong with an indulgent fanfic being stapled at the back of a story. It’s my favourite extra and I love how the audio drama gave life to it.

“Be honest about whether or not you thought about me in the same way.” In a solemn tone, he spoke, “Rejecting me like that so coldly every single time—it really made me lose face, don’t you know?”

Lan Wangji, “You can try, now, to see if I would reject you over anything.”

The sentence so suddenly struck his heart. Wei Wuxian choked, yet Lan Wangji was still as calm as ever, as though he didn’t at all realize what he just said. Wei Wuxian put his hand to his forehead, “You… Hanguang-Jun, let’s make a deal. Please warn me before you say something so romantic, or else I won’t be able to take it.”

Lan Wangji nodded, “Okay.”

Wei Wuxian, “Lan Zhan—what a person you are!”

Tens of thousands of words were left unspoken, in exchange for endless laughter and hugs.

Well that wasn’t very salty, but 🤷‍♂️

Salty asks

#salty asks #anon ask #mdzs #wangxian #Anonymous #long post

31 notes · View notes

inessencedevided · 4 years

Text

The Untamed, episode 24 - watching notes

Happy Wangxian-bunny-fest everyone! 🐇💐🐇 Because that's what I have to think about every time I see an Easter bunny these days. :D

We're picking up where we left off, with Shijie's and Jin Zixuan's future being decided for them

And everyone looking distinctly uncomfortable

WWX said fork the patriarchy and I respect that!

He also probably just violated about a hundred rules of conduct 😂😂😂

God, I adore him just not giving a flying fork anymore

(Yes I'm cursing good place style now, because tumblr 🙄)

Ooooh, I hadn't realised that lwj had stood up for this whole exchange for no reason whatsoever. Now that's telling :D

I love the fact that Jiang Yanli is good and modest and dutiful, but she has her own opinion and here, she acts on it, even though it's in defiance of what most of the cultivation world wants.

I love how the short haired minor clan leader whose name I have forgotten just acts as a commentator the whole time :D

What is a "Baifeng Mountain crowd hunt"?

Okay, the background "whisper" explained it to me. Thanks random cultivator extra #34

Whaaaat is JGY planning? 🧐

Honest question: can someone explain the hat to me? Is it a Jin tradition? Or is it somehow indicative of jgy's new status?

I just had a though about jgy and wwx that I'm not quite sure is entirely formed yet, but I have to share anyway. I feel like their journeys might be a parallel of each other, but in opposite directions ... if that makes sense? Like both were born outside of the clan world. Wwx got accepted into it through the kindness of someone who loved his mother. Jgy got rejected through the cruelty of his own father who very much did not love his mother. Wwx grew up a respected cultivator, jgy was an outsider and always looked down upon as the sun of a prostitute. Then they witness the war against the Wen clan. Wwx sacrifices everything to save the ones who took him in. Jgy betrays and almost kills the ones who took him in. Wwx comes back more bitter about the cultivation world than he has ever been and seems to only care about his own moral judgement and the wellbeing if those closes lt to him anymore. The last thing he seems concerned about his status. Then there is jgy, who at this point has murdered, lied.and killed innocent civilians,but also aided those who were kind to him (i.e. lan Xichen), and st least partially this is how he climbed the socisl ladder on the cultivation world. In other words, these two are both outcasts at some points in their lives, but their reaction seems to be almost opposite each other. For wwx it seems to be to fight the system, for jgy to adapt and survive and use the corrupt system to his advantage.

Moving on ...

Oh no ...

I feel like jgy actively acting again wwx kind of fits my rant about them from earlier

Oh he is good! He just planted the idea that wwx has the last shard of the Yin iron in Jin guangshao's head and then acted as if he was speaking reason. And the idiot completely fell for it because it flatters his ego.

Who is that spy going to be I wonder?

Oh no, lotus pier looks different 😥

Cloud Recess!!!!! I've missed you :')

Lan Xichen's long suffering sighs are a mood :D

Oh I see where this is going. First Jin Guangshan now Lan Quiren. The old guard seems to be extremely displeased with what wwx is doing.

Also, it must be very strange to all involved that suddenly, lwj is the one having yo be reminded of the rules

Character development, man!

"Do you know why I wouldn't let you leave with Xichen?" *dramatic zoom from the side* dramatic zoom from the front* ... *drumroll* ... "Leave now" 😑

IT'S BECAUSE HE DISAPPROVES OF YOUR BOYFRIEND! THAT'S WHY!

I feel so proud of Jiang Cheng right now :')

I'm so here for Lan Wangji's crisis of faith right now! Character development!!!

Jiang "tough love" Cheng

I kind of understand his frustration. From his perspective, it seems as if wwx is abandoning them

Lan Xichen's fond amusement with wwx will never not be endearing

Also, wwx is caring for the Jiang guests after all :D

Um ... does wwx have an alcohol problem at this point? 😕

That can't be healthy

I love the moral argument Lan Xichen makes here and it shows how one set of moral beliefs can come from entirely different places. His uncle seems to believe in rules for the rules sake, whereas lan Xichen cites a more humanistic argument: rules exist because we exist in a society and for society to function for all, especially the weakest, there most be rules to reign in behaviour that would be harmful to others. That's why breaking those rules harms not only one person, but society as a whole. My question for him then would be: But what of those rules themselves are harmful?

I stopped the stream to type this. Let's see what wwx has to say :D

Okay, lan Xichen isn't finished yet

Honestly, I think in terms of his combination of character traits, lan Xichen is the most genuinely good person among our characters. He is both well-meaning in his goals and measured in his means. He treats everyone fairly and although he loves his live by the Lan sect rules, he is not unkind in applying them to others. The fact that he can see wwx's good heart, even though they are such fundamentally different people, speaks volumes.

I'm genuinely wondering why wwx doesn't tell anyone why he can't do traditional cultivation anymore. (I'm still pretty convinced he gave Jiang cheng his golden core. I even went back to the scene where he showed Wen Qing the diagram and that was as good as a confirmation.) I get that he wouldn't tell Jiang Cheng and wouldn't want it to be known by most, for Jiang Cheng's sake alone, but why doesn't he at least tell one person who could vouch for him. I guess wen Qing knows by default, but she is part of the Wen clan and thus pretty low on the social ladder right now. He doesn't want Lan Wangji to know because he doesn't want to drag him down with him. I get that, too, even though it's bullshit. But Lan Xichen would be a good choice. A) because he is even-tempered and wouldn't act rashly and b) because I'm pretty sure that he would even aid wei Wuxian in shielding lan Wangji.

At the end of this rant, I kind of realised why Wei Wuxian doesn't tell anyone. It makes perfect sense, character-wise. He absolutely strikes me as someone who thinks he has to bear all his burdens alone. And now that he probably thinks of himself as doomed anyway, he might as well run with it. :/

Again, all the awards to his actor. He does an amazing job at giving wwx an aloof and cocky air that crumbles the moment nobody is looking. Way to breakmy heart ... 😔

I honestly believe Jiang Cheng is also worried about Wei Wuxian. He's just never learnt to separate worry from anger

Wei Wuxian is so far from okay :/

Btw, are the light colours that Jiang Cheng and especially Jiang Yanli sre wearing indicative of the fact that they are still in mourning?

I know I've said so before but the only one he is even remotely himself around is Shijie. Even as he tries to put on a good face, at least he lets himself cry, too. He acts almost childlike around her. She's more mother to him than sister, I think

Oh God, little Wei Ying on the streets 🥺🥺🥺

"You were born with a smiling face. Always smiling. You never mind too much about any sorrowful things. No matter how bad your situation is, you can always be happy." But he can't anymore, can he? He's just playing the part at this point, to varying degrees of success.

"Why do you still act like a kid?" See, Shijie thinks so, too

Oh god, the question why one would like someone so much! I'm so anxious to find out, when wwx has any inkling of his own feelings, because at least in the show, this seems to be a very good moment, tragically. Because the way he tries to shield lwj from harm? That's not the way you treat an old school acquaintance.

Very random observation, but wwx's sleeves are mismatched. One is studded in silver, the other one has a simple leathery pattern :D

Aww, the banter between wwx and jc makes me almost tear up at this point, even though they're acting like 6 year olds and I wonder how Shijie kept her sanity for all these years 😅

At the library pavilion at Gusu: "Please don't report this to Hanguang Jun." Lol :D

Is he purposefully going behind his uncle's back right now? 😱

"It seemed not so hard to go back to the old days." That is a very ominous sentence to end an episode on 😬

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #the untamed episode 24 #lan wangji #wwx #lwj #wei wuxian #jiang siblings #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yunmeng siblings #lan xichen

27 notes · View notes

razberryyum · 5 years

Text

My Two Cents on the Ending of The Untamed/陈情令

From chapter 111 of MDZS (novel translation by Exiled Rebels Scanlations):

“It was what he hoped all this time. Each to their own path. But now that the day really came, watching Wen Ning and Lan SiZhui’s figures walk slowly, slowly away until they finally disappeared, he felt somewhat dejected.

Lan WangJi was now the only one who stood by his side. Luckily, Lan WangJi was also the only one he wished to have by his side.”

(spoilers for novel, episode 50 and ending of Guardian, Eternal Love, I Will Never Let You Go, and Story of Minglan)

If I’m going to be honest, part of me wishes the show had ended with that scene above. That would have been, imho, a PERFECT ending because it would have been an obvious one. We wouldn’t have to think any further about if they actually did reunite at the end, if that white glimmer in Wei Wuxian’s eyes is indeed the figure of Lan Wangji, etc etc.

Now before I say anything further, for the record, I am freaking GRATEFUL we got the ending we got…especially the original Tencent version. Even though the WeTV version is a little more questionable, fact remains things could have been so much worse. I mean, God, imagine if we were left with THIS as the last image we ever see of The Untamed.

Or this:

The fact that Team 陈情令 took it one step further and gave us Lan Zhan’s “Wei Ying” followed by WWX’s glorious, teary-eyed smile is already a straight-up miracle. But, because I’m a lazy ass by nature, I wish I could have shut off my brain and just be spoon-fed a definitive ending that would have left me completely satiated, and that’s really the only reason why I wish they had ended the show at the scene where WWX and LWJ sad their goodbyes to Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui. Plus, there’s just something a little more satisfying about seeing our two leads together as a couple on screen one last time. A teeny tiny bitter part of me knows that had WangXian been a m/f couple, we would’ve undoubtedly gotten that last shot of them together, much like we did for the main couple in shows like Eternal Love or I Will Never Let You Go or Story of Ming Lan or basically any other c-dramas with happy endings and a hetero couple at its core (which is like, what 99% of the c-dramas anyway? And sorry for spoiling those shows). But I know, censorship, I understand, so I should stop beating that dead horse and just be glad what we got. I mean, I’m still suffering from PTSD due to Guardian’s ending so trust me when I say I am entirely thankful.

After all, from a thematic point of view, it’s not like the ending doesn’t make sense; it actually does. The idea of both WWX and LWJ living clear of conscience has been reiterated time and again throughout the show, so the fact that LWJ would decide to abide by his duties instead of going off and having fun with WWX does indeed go along with the values established for him. In fact, one might say that during the 16 years of WWX’s absence, he was probably acting the most out of character since he seemed to have more or less shirked his duties as Gusulan Sect’s esteemed Hanguan-Jun. As Jiang Cheng mentioned in the second episode, LWJ has spent most of the past 16 years time just wandering the world, looking for someone, which of course we know who. Even Jin Guangyao mentioned that he never attended any of the big cultivation meetings. So for the past decade and a half Lan Zhan’s really been just living his own life, off on his own quest, and probably leaving all the major responsibilities of his sect to his brother and uncle. Now that WWX is back and the main villain is conquered, I can see how his guilt at abandoning his duties might have finally caught up with him and he realizes he might have some amends to make. After all, his uncle’s old and constantly spitting up blood, and his brother—dear poor Xichen who just makes my heart HURT when I think about him—is definitely in no condition to become Chief Cultivator. I thought about Jiang Cheng briefly, but he’s probably in the same unstable emotional state as Lan Xichen at this point. Hell, Lan XiChen, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling should probably all sign up for some intense group therapy; can’t imagine how they could even function otherwise considering the emotional battering they just went through.

Anyway, getting back to the role of Chief Cultivator, in the novel, it was implied that Nie Huaisang was gunning for that position, but honestly, I actually thought that was a bit odd in the book because even though we know he’s the mastermind behind everything, it’s hard to imagine that he would want to step up to the plate and be in the limelight instead of staying in the shadows as he has been doing. I actually think the drama’s change to his ending made more sense. Not to mention, since most of the cultivation world has known him as the know-nothing coward, if he were to suddenly do a 180 and become this strong, intelligent, assertive person, wouldn’t people be pretty suspicious of him as a person and be too wary to follow him? For better or worse, LWJ IS indeed the best candidate for that position at this specific moment in time. The scene at Lotus Pier where the other sects found out about Jin Guangyao’s heinous activities was illuminating in more ways than one since it also showed how wishy-washy and easily influenced the majority of the other sects were. Those guys are a bunch of dumbasses who need to be led, otherwise, if left to their own devices, the cultivation world would be in total chaos.

I also appreciated the fact that even though WWX looked downright heart-broken when he realized LWJ wasn’t going to explore the world with him (yet), it seems like he had actually stayed with Lan Zhan until he became Chief Cultivator, which probably didn’t happen overnight. I’m assuming this based on WWX’s wardrobe change from their scene with Sizhui and Wen Ning. I think it’s sweet that despite his disappointment, he still stayed with him for a bit.

The logic part of their parting holds water, but it’s the emotional part that I’m not entirely sold on. I mean, what the show is essentially trying to tell me is that a man who looks at Wei Ying like this:

And this…

And this….

…would actually be ok with being separated from him? Again? Yeah. Right. Siubian.

Just the thought of Wei Ying having no one to protect him now from all the scary fluffy puppies of the world is probably enough to keep Lan Zhan up at nights. In terms of the bond between WWX and LWJ as it was established in the show—not even getting into how they are in the novel because then the notion of them separating would be downright ridiculous—it is pretty hard to accept that LWJ would be ok being away from Wei Ying. Even if the call of duty is loud, the siren song of WangXian has to eventually overpower everything else. The question is when, of course, and even though Wei Ying goes through yet another wardrobe change by the last scene, I can’t imagine that much time passed…I would like to think no more than just a year or two. At a certain point, LXC, being the generous, loving, understanding older brother that he always is, would probably realize how much LWJ misses WWX and offer to take over the Chief Cultivator role from him. But big bro does need time to emotionally recover so I think a year or two is a fair timespan. It’s not enough time for LXC to heal completely of course, God knows a decade probably would still not be enough for that, but a year or two probably would allow him to at least be able to pretend to be fine enough to function somewhat normally again. Ugh. Again, poor big bro.

Actually, if I think about it, one thing good about Wei Ying and Lan Zhan being separated for a short time is that this time around, WWX can be the one missing and pining after LWJ instead. I can easily imagine him making detailed mental notes of every place he has visited and everything he’s done that is fun for when he finally reunites with Lan Zhan, he can take him through all of his journeys so that they can then experience together what he had to experience alone during their time apart.

I also like that when Wei Ying hears his name being called, he actually looks shocked…

…which clearly indicates he never expected Lan Zhan to appear at all, which means they didn’t plan this reunion, that Lan Zhan just magically found Wei Ying again. That is seriously so romantic. I’m sure Lan Zhan kept tabs on Wei Ying’s whereabouts all the time, I refuse to believe that he wouldn’t at least do that, but still, that hilltop looked pretty out there in the wilderness so it’s truly beautiful that he still managed to pinpoint where Wei Ying was to surprise him. Or maybe the energy he shared with Wei Ying acts as a sort of GPS now so he can always easily find the other man no matter where he is? That’s romantic too.

So at the end of the day, I feel pretty satisfied and content. Since I fell in love with the show, I’ve literally been on pins and needles worrying about how the show will end, if Team CQL would somehow lose their minds and just screw everything up or be forced to screw everything up because of censorship. I can finally breathe easy now…well, somewhat…there’s still movies to worry about, but I’m just a worrywart by nature. With their splendid track record so far, I’m sure Team CQL will continue to deliver and make us happy in terms of WangXian.

“After we went to travel the world together everything was spread into the world as ‘rumors say’”.- from WWX’ character song 曲尽陈情 (“Songs end with Chen Qing”)

“With you by my side, I hope you’ve been well since the last time we’ve met”. -from LWJ’s character song 不忘 (“Won’t Forget”).

#The Untamed #陈情令 #CQL #WangXian #Episode 50 spoilers #Ending Spoilers #Mo Dao Zu Shi #MDZS

268 notes · View notes

enbyleighlines · 4 years

Note

Thank you for your stories. I would like read about: wn & lwj - jeaulosy, yanli & lwj - friendship, jc & nhs - flowers. Again thank you for sharing those small ficlet.

You’re welcome! And thank you, anonymous friend, for all the requests. I’m going to be splitting this up into three separate posts, because I want to fill all of them.

Without further ado: Lan Wangji & Wen Ning: Jealousy

—

Lan Wangji has a bad feeling. He’s sitting at one of the window booths at a locally owned coffee shop. Wen Ning texted him last week, and asked to meet up.

This is unusual, to put it lightly. Despite having an overlapping friend group, Lan Wangji and Wen Ning rarely interact one on one. In fact, Wen Ning tends to actively avoid Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji doesn’t have to wonder why Wen Ning avoids him like the plague. For years, Lan Wangji has been cold to Wen Ning, if not outright hostile. So Lan Wangji does not blame Wen Ning for wanting to stay out of his hair. On the contrary, that’s exactly what Lan Wangji had wanted, once upon a time.

The thing is, Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian are best friends. And Lan Wangji has envied that, ever since high school.

Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning’s friendship began in Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s second year of high school. Lan Wangji was still deep in denial about his feelings, rejecting all of Wei Wuxian’s desperate attempts to befriend him.

Wen Ning was a freshman, a year behind them, and new to the school. Quiet and baby-faced, he drew bullies to him like moths to a flame. After Wei Wuxian stood up for him the first time, making a grand scene in the cafeteria, the two became inseparable. Suddenly, all the teasing usually directed at Lan Wangji went to Wen Ning instead.

It was unfair for Lan Wangji to feel cheated. After all, he had been trying to get Wei Wuxian off his back for over a year. He was like a dog, selfishly coveting a toy he had once ignored. But envy has always been the hardest sin for Lan Wangji to ditch.

His jealousy only intensified with time. Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian went to the same college. They became roommates. They even went into business together.

It was petty, true, to resent Wen Ning merely for receiving the attention that Lan Wangji was too cowardly to admit that he wanted. But it was hard not to feel the burn of acid in his throat, whenever he saw the way Wen Ning tucked himself under Wei Wuxian’s arm, hanging off his side like a bur.

Of course, Wei Wuxian had many friends. It was the way that Wen Ning looked at Wei Wuxian that bothered Lan Wangji the most. Adoring, like Wei Wuxian was the center of the universe. It was like looking into a mirror. Lan Wangji would catch a glimpse of Wen Ning’s shimmering, lovestruck moon eyes, and see his own crush reflected back at him.

Except, for all his cowardice, Wen Ning was not afraid to let himself get close to Wei Wuxian.

But that was then. This is now.

Now Lan Wangji is twenty-six years old. Wei Wuxian is his boyfriend. They live together. They’re raising a child together.

Jealousy should be a thing of the past.

And yet.

Lan Wangji takes a sip of his hot green tea and waits.

He doesn’t wait too much longer. Wen Ning jogs up to the cafe, waving to Lan Wangji through the window before heading inside.

Lan Wangji bites back a scowl. Once, he could reassure himself with the thought that their crushes were equally doomed. After all, Wei Wuxian wasn’t interested in men. Neither of them stood a chance.

Obviously, now Lan Wangji knows that isn’t the case.

Wen Ning orders something at the counter and then comes to join Lan Wangji. He’s holding a cup of some sugary caffeinated concoction with whipped cream on top. It looks like the type of thing Wei Wuxian would like. Wen Ning sits, not so subtly avoiding eye contact.

“Hey,” Wen Ning says.

“Hey.” Lan Wangji doesn’t grant him more than that. The bad feeling in his gut begins to grow.

“How... are you?” Wen Ning asks.

Lan Wangji narrows his eyes. He does not appreciate all this tip-toeing around whatever Wen Ning wishes to say. So he answers, “I’m confused. Why did you ask me to meet you?”

“Ah,” Wen Ning sighs. He finally meets Lan Wangji’s gaze. “Right. Well, I wanted to discuss something with you.”

“Then discuss.”

Wen Ning winces. “This isn’t easy for me to explain,” he says, “I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out.”

Lan Wangji feels a bit bad for being so aggressive. So he mutely nods.

“I don’t know if you already know this about me or not,” Wen Ning begins, “but I’m asexual. Aromantic, too, most likely.”

Lan Wangji blinks. He was not aware of that. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with this new information. Should Lan Wangji congratulate him on coming out? Or would that seem patronizing?

Thankfully, Wen Ning doesn’t seem to be waiting for a response. “I bring this up,” he continues, “because I feel— I think— Correct me if I’m wrong, but I always got the sense that you thought I was in love with Wei Wuxian?”

Wen Ning isn’t wrong, so Lan Wangji doesn’t correct him.

Wen Ning nods at Lan Wangji’s silence. “That’s what I thought,” he says, “So I want you to know that, however I feel about Wei Wuxian, it’s not romantic.”

Shame burns in Lan Wangji’s chest. Here he was, wasting his time being jealous of a man who was never even interested in Wei Wuxian. He wants to apologize, but he doesn’t know how to do so in a way that won’t make him sound petty.

“To be fair,” Wen Ning goes on, “I used to think it was a romantic crush myself. And I do love him, in a platonic way.”

Lan Wangji can do nothing but nod.

“That said,” Wen Ning says, “The main reason I’m here, is because I wanted to be completely honest with you.” He pauses, and his eyes dart to the side. “Do you know anything about queerplatonic relationships?”

Lan Wangji does not. He thinks he might have heard the term before, but that’s the extent of his knowledge. “No.”

“Well, they’re kind of what they say on the tin,” Wen Ning explains, in a nervous twitter, “They’re like platonic relationships, but a little different.”

That doesn’t clarify anything. Lan Wangji blinks. “What?”

“Ah, I’m not that good at explaining the concept,” Wen Ning says, “They’re kind of like a third option, for people who are aro/ace, and who want to be in a romantic relationship without the romance.”

Lan Wangji is trying to understand. He truly is. But he is still confused.

Wen Ning sighs. “Here’s how I think of it... it’s got the structure of a romantic relationship, but with the content of a platonic relationship. It’s a way for us to experience the companionship of a life partner without all the romance stuff.”

“Friendship?” Lan Wangji asks.

Wen Ning’s shoulders slump. “It’s like that, but more... structured. I’m sorry, that’s the only way I can describe it. Anyway, I’m trying to explain this because... I want to be in a queerplatonic relationship with Wei Wuxian!”

The rancid taste of vinegar rises in Lan Wangji’s throat. He tries his best to swallow it back down. He’s twenty-six. He can be an adult about this.

“I know it probably sounds weird to you,” Wen Ning starts to babble, “I don’t fully understand it myself. All I know is that I read a book about queerplatonic relationships and now I can’t stop thinking about asking Wei Wuxian to be in one with me!”

Lan Wangji feels the smallest tug of pity in his heart. “If you were in a queerplatonic relationship with Wei Ying,” he says to Wen Ning, “Would you... go on dates?”

Wen Ning flushes and fidgets. “Ah, maybe,” he answers.

“Kiss?”

Wen Ning goes pale at that. He shakes his head quickly. “Oh, no,” he says, “I’ve tried kissing someone before. It wasn’t for me. No offense, but... I don’t understand the appeal of kissing someone.”

Some of the acid in Lan Wangji’s larynx begins to subside. “Then no sex, either?” He guesses.

“Nope! Definitely none of that!”

“Holding hands?”

“Ahh... hopefully, yes.”

“Cuddling?”

Wen Ning squirms, but his small smile betrays him. “If he wants to...”

Lan Wangji stops his interrogation. “So far,” he says, “it does not sound like anything would change between you two.”

It’s true. Wei Wuxian has always been a tactile friend. He has had no qualms about hugging and cuddling with his friends in the past.

“That... might be the case,” Wen Ning admits, “It’s not that I want to do anything new with him. I just want... the label, I guess. I want to tell people that he’s my partner. And that I’m his.”

Lan Wangji raises an eyebrow. The way Wen Ning said that, it almost sounded... possessive.

“I know this is a lot,” Wen Ning says, “but I needed to tell somebody.”

Lan Wangji wants to leave this conversation. Even if what Wen Ning feels for Wei Wuxian isn’t romantic, it’s still... Well, Lan Wangji doesn’t know how to put it into words. And neither does Wen Ning, apparently.

The two men sit in silence for a moment. It’s clear to both of them that they keep misunderstanding each other, but neither knows how to fix that.

“I think... I’m just jealous,” Wen Ning speaks up, unexpectedly, “Everyone around me seems to be in a serious relationship right now. It’s like everyone is paired up, and I’m the eternal third wheel. And maybe I shouldn’t be complaining. I mean, I don’t experience romantic attraction, so it makes sense that I’m single. And there isn’t anything wrong with being single. But when I think about being single for the rest of my life... I feel lonely. Ever since Wei Wuxian moved in with you, I’ve felt...” Wen Ning trails off, and bites his lip, as if to keep himself from finishing the sentence.

“Ah.” Now Lan Wangji understands. It’s like a ray of sunshine piercing through a break in the clouds. He remembers how he felt, learning that Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning had rented an apartment together: Jealous. Lonely. Abandoned. “You miss him.”

“It’s stupid,” Wen Ning says, speaking with his eyes scrunched up, “We still hang out all the time. But I miss living with him. I miss eating our meals together, and I miss running errands together...”

Lan Wangji watches Wen Ning, and feels true empathy blossom within him. “It’s not stupid,” he argues, “Wei Ying... has a loud presence. He is easy to miss.”

Wen Ning’s eyes fly open. “Yes, you’re exactly right! The apartment feels so quiet now. It feels empty.”

Lan Wangji nods. Now they are speaking the same language. Though the flavor of their love for Wei Wuxian is different, the essence is the same. Wen Ning’s love is not the same as Lan Wangji’s love, nor is it the same as Jiang Yanli’s familial love for Wei Wuxian. But all of them feel the same depth of emotion.

“Give me time,” Lan Wangji says, “I need to... research queerplatonic relationships. But I will not stop you, should you bring it up with Wei Ying.”

Wen Ning’s eyes widen. “You’re— you’re serious? You think I should tell him?”

“Wei Ying would want to know,” Lan Wangji tells him. That much he can guarantee. “I don’t know if he will agree to be your queerplatonic partner. I don’t know what that would look like. But you may ask. I will respect whatever decision he makes.”

Wen Ning looks speechless with shock. To be fair, Lan Wangji has surprised himself, too.

“Thank you,” Wen Ning finally says.

Lan Wangji simply nods.

Both of them fall silent once more. The space between them is a little less tense, though. For the first time, Wen Ning and Lan Wangji are able to enjoy a comfortable silence together.

#asks #anon #anonymous #mo dao zu shi #drabbles #mdzs modern au #leigh’s writing #wangxian #ningxian

31 notes · View notes