#This was actually a sticker design I made that I handed out to people who signed my contract when I cosplayed him hehe

[kawaiiocelot]

Stinky lil Raphael >:3

#This was actually a sticker design I made that I handed out to people who signed my contract when I cosplayed him hehe #I love this devil man sm #bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #raphael #my stuff #my art

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie headcanons

warnings: yo no se

content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥

authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….

- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.

- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!

- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm

“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”

“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”

- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING

- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time

- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)

- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)

- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔

- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream

- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!

- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her

- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE

“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”

- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL

- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit

- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪

- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”

- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them

“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”

- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.

- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.

“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.

you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.

the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.

- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.

pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine

minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad

rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL

and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.

creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE

- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY

- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔

- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂

- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded

- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳

- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?

- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.

- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.

“what a coincidence.”

- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.

- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.

“im just letting you win.”

“beginners luck.”

but shes SO COCKY when she beats you

“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”

“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”

- definitely helps you build your own pc.

- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.

“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“

“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”

“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”

- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)

- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”

#ellie williams x reader #streamer!ellie #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams headcanons #tlou #tlou part 2 #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou headcanons #tlou x reader

[gotta-pet-em-all]

(@wingsofachampion) What are human mobility aids like? -Tropius

HI HI HI OKAY SO THIS IS ACTUALLY AN INTEREST OF MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay okay i'm gonna be normal about this i am going to be soooo normal yeah no that's a lie i love this so much

so!!! first off we have canes. canes my absolute fucking beloved! you got wooden ones and metal ones, plus a smattering of funky materials, but it's mostly the first two. There are different types of handle, depending on what you use it for. Some people like decorative handles that are carved in the shape of pokemon! Here, I'll grab some fancy ones so you can see.

My first cane was a black aluminum folding cane, with a functional wooden grip somewhere in the derby range. It was adjustable for different heights, which is helpful because if you use mobility aids wrong, they can actually hurt you! It's designed specifically to alleviate the strain from certain areas of the body, and if it's not ergonomically sound, it will put unexpected strain on you.

If your cane is too short, it forces you to lean over, which throws your entire body alignment out of wack. If it's too tall, your elbow is forced to take on the extra strain, which is bad for it. Always get your cane properly fitted! You may need to adjust it if you're wearing shoes with any kind of heel.

Here's an example! This cane has a derby handle, is probably metal, and comes with a carrying case. I love the flowers on it! It's sort of a disabled community thing that a lot of us like to customize our mobility aids, because they're a part of us. When I dream, my cane is with me. Because I would feel naked without it, you know? It's part of me.

Another reason to customize your aids is to emphasize that your disability is permanent. You don't waste holographic stickers on something that you'll only be using for six months as you recover from an injury; it's a way of saying "I'm here and my condition is here to stay, and I'm making the most out of life." And I think that's extremely c-punk.

....i am realizing i'm running out of steam here. oops. i really really just love canes, but i promise there are other mobility aids!

There are forearm crutches! they require both hands, but they give more support than a cane, and on both sides! they're also arguably better than underarm crutches in the long term, but the trade off is that they take longer to use.

Sometimes, leg amputees will use these instead of a prosthetic! Prosthetics are cool and all, but they can chafe or put pressure on the stump, and sometimes they're just not worth it. A lot of amputees actually choose not to use a prosthetic because they manage just fine with the limbs they have, and that's fine!

Next category up is walkers and rollators, which admittedly I'm not as knowledgeable about? But I've seen people attach really cute quilted bags to theirs, and they're very good for long periods indoors.

Next up is wheelchairs-- oh gosh there is so much variation in wheelchairs. At the bottom tier is hospital wheelchairs, which are designed to be pushed by someone else, and then you've got self propelled chairs where the user pushes the wheels using their hands to move forward. and then there's electric wheelchairs, which are for people who don't have the physical strength/coordination/whatever to push themselves manually, and so they just steer!

There's a specific brand of sports made for people in wheelchairs! Like power soccer, or wheelchair basketball! Disabled people can be athletes, or just enjoy the fun of playing a sport for self improvement. There's even a guy I watch on Mewtube who does some pretty sick skateboarding tricks on his chair!

(Side note: I'm not usually a huge stickler for language? Like, I know people who have reclaimed the word cripple, and that's fine. I know people who say differently abled like it's a curse. However! Please note that "wheelchair user" is considered vastly preferable to "wheelchair bound." It's a mobility aid! it's freedom! It can be cool as hell!)

Anyways. Don't take my word as gospel, this is nowhere near comprehensive, but there you have it! my big old ramble on mobility aids! ehehehehehheh i love them so much, such a huge fan of technology invented to make people's lives easier. anyways ough i'm stimming so hard right now but also i am fresh out of spoons from this rant so gnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pokemon irl #pokeblogging #rotomblr #fluff and the disabled agenda

[alicenpai]

🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

---

i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

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this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

---

and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

---

fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

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administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

---

merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

#anime north 2023 #anime north

[honeyfolklore]

Welcome to my blog!

About me

I go by the nickname Grim

She/Her

I'm a huge fan of artists like Florence Welch, Hozier, Greta Van Fleet, Taylor Swift, etc.

Requests

Check my bio to see if I'm currently taking requests! Sometimes I take a break from them for creative freedom purposes.

Requests are free- but if you really want, tips are greatly appreciated!

You can request lyrics from just about any artist.

I mostly do light wallpapers (my default beige) but I also do black, black and gold foil details, pastels, etc.

I may take a long time to actually post the request because I am pretty busy in my real life, and I forget things very easily; "out of sight, out of mind" type of deal. Please be patient with my poor little 1 brain cell that I own.

Shop

I have a shop on Redbubble where I have many different designs on many different products; like stickers, pillows, bags, coasters, etc.

If you don't see a specific design on my shop that's on this blog, just let me know and I will add it for you.

Credit

I always try to give credit where it is needed, and sometimes I do "covers" of other peoples art; when I do this, I will always have who the original artist is down in the text portion of the post.

If you see a design that was made by someone else and they (for whatever reason) are not credited in the text portion of the post, DM me and let me know and I will fix it right away.

All images that are hand drawn art (obviously excluding the images of Florence or images that I may use in my mood board posts) are mine- unless stated otherwise.

If you repost any of my work, I ask that you give me credit or I will ask for you to take it down. I do all of this for free, but it is still my art that I have taken hours to make and put a lot of love in.

Thank you for all of your support! Xxx

#I finally made an introduction post! #love you guys

[facelessxchurch]

Final Thoughts on the SP Kickstarter

Why a kickstarter? This is something I heard a few people ask since Landy surely has enough money to pay for the merch out of his own pocket before selling it. There are three reasons I think are most likely. One, that was he can print exactly the number of merch he needs and won't be left sitting on a large pile of unsold merch. Second, it is a good way to find out how many people would be even interested in SP merch and it's a solid number he can show HarperCollins to get the official merch store approved. This is pretty much confirmed with this Tweet:

[link]

And third, I think he wasn't sure how well it would do himself since he is probably aware that his sales tanked and a lot of the fandom hates his guts. An indication of this was how ill-prepared the Kickstarter was and how there were no stretch goals.

Ngl I'm feeling kinda iffy that he has people pay for stuff and we didn't even know how half the stuff would look like at the start of the Kickstarter. The Tote-Bags had no pic, the magnets had no pic, and we never got a pic of the stickers, instead, he only described how they would look after I asked him about it. The pins were just a WIP and only got updated mid-way through. Like, he has so little to offer and such simple designs, all of it should have been ready and on the Kickstarter page by the time it got published. Especially since he gave people only 2 weeks to pledge.

Through Reddit I found out that people who backed the Kickstarter got asked which 3 kinds of merch/characters they would like to see the most. On one hand, it makes sense that he would want to add merch of characters that his super fans like (and you gotta be a superfan to fork over money for the stuff he offered on that Kickstarter). But on the other hand, it ignores the people that didn't buy anything from the Kickstarter bc their fav characters weren't represented. 

While 1157 seems like a lot of people but it's just a small percentage of the people that follow Landy on Twitter. He currently has 27.5K followers which means only 4.2 % of his followers backed the Kickstarter. That means an even lesser percentage of the fandom has backed it considering not everyone has a Twitter account.

I don't actually know which percentage is a good number. I heard that having 10% of followers engage with your content is normal. So around 5% actually giving you money is probably good. That surprises me bc a lot of people in the fandom voiced their distaste for the subpar pin designs. I've seen some people (on Reddit) think that the Skul and Val drawn by Landy would not be the final design and that the final designs would be made by Jaime (the pin-maker). I wonder if that plays into it largely or not.

Personally, I believe that if he really wanted to design his own pins he could have done so for himself privately (like I have done before). But this is the first time you can BUY official merch and it should have been for SP fans as much as for himself, but it essentially ended up being an ego trip for him and his GF.

I don't like that he only collaborated with the pin-maker bc she's a super-fan (has an SP tattoo). He's also dating a fan. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth bc it seems like this wannabe man can only get along with people that adore him/SP. I mean, he straight up admitted he can't get a movie done, not even with an indie, by he's too controlling of all things SP.

Despite being successful, the Kickstarter only brought the fandom back to life for a few days and it was to take the piss out of the pin designs. The new book announcement, "Hell Breaks Loose", barely caused an uptick in activity at all. While I'm happy the Kickstarter was successful bc it means we'll get a store with better merch sometime next year, I'm wondering what it will take to resurrect this fandom.

#skulduggery pleasant #SP Merch #answered #anonymous

[softlyfiercely]

FOR THoSE FOLLOWING THE #EASTERBASKETS SAGA

I can happily report that while it was still a bit of a clusterfuck, it was a clusterfuck in predictable and unavoidable ways, for which I was prepared for, and

I TOTALLY PULLED IT OFF.

So, initially, I'd decided to make the "Easter Gift Making" event begin at 1:00 in the afternoon on Holy Saturday. I chose this time because it would have been a major hassle to include lunch in the program but it needed to be early enough in the day to allow time for drivers to deliver them but also not require people to wake up early on a Saturday, so can't be "after breakfast before lunch."

(Church programming for children and families almost always includes food, so I either needed to meet that expectation or explicitly buck it)

HOWEVER

All the schools in this area happen to be on spring break THIS WEEK, so like 90% of the most engaged, involved children & families were like "sorry we won't be there for any Holy Week stuff"

(this has caused some Consternation re: children's involvement in Maundy Thursday and Palm Sunday and Good Friday stuff, so, it's just been part of the larger situation surrounding The Easter Baskets)

so, I'd only heard from two families that they were coming, and it's two kids who are friends, so then one family said they actually had a conflict at 1:00 but could come at 11:00, I was like you know what, sure. we'll be there at 11:00.

But of course there still has to be something for kids who arrive at 1:00 to do, because that WAS the initially set time for the event, and we don't technically require RSVPs, it's just that things are so shoestring right now that it comes down to stuff like this.

so I tell the other family "hey, if your kid comes at 1:00, they might be the only one there, but their friend will be there at 11:00" and they were like ok cool we can actually change our plans

so then at 11:00 I just set up with two kids and we got going.

unfortunately if you remember from chapter one of this saga i am inexplicably sharing on tumblr, the whole activity of "making the easter gifts" was designed to be something where a bunch of kids (6-12 is the average attendance at these things) can have a good time making them. so it was just very different Vibes. and we set up in the kitchen where one kid's mom was setting up for tomorrow's Easter Brunch instead of the usual children's programming space, and we just got to it

the two kids had a great time, they got to be very involved and hands-on. and the Easter gifts got made and they were lovely - I wish I could have taken a photo for y'all but there would be no way to show them to you without being somehow identifying.

we cut and tied ribbons around the jars. they filled the jars with water and arranged the flowers in the jars. then they put these watercolor flower stickers on some pastel colored gift bags I'd gotten.

then they colored in cards that i had made, which had a FUCKING TASTEFUL AND CUTE, NOT BANANAS "Happy Easter" line drawing with crosses and bunnies that the kids could color in, and then on the inside it said "my name is" "i am years old" "my Easter prayer for you is" and the kids, in their adorable little kid handwriting and spelling, wrote their names, their ages, and their Easter prayers which were things like "we are thikig of you" and "haav a joyful easter"

and then they helped me make sure one of each thing that i had prepared earlier (chocolate bar, Easter bulletin, "scriptural item," and card signed by priest) was in each bag.

as a bonus, because we only had two kids, and one of the kids belonged to the parent who was there prepping tomorrow's brunch, she just kind of fed us lunch from the leftovers of what she was making, so the food thing actually totally worked out

then, of course I had to wait until 1:00, and sure enough, a family showed up with their two kids, and by then the other two kids had left for their other engagements, so it was awkward in that way of "yay...you're the only ones here..." but I was prepared for that as much as I could be, and so we set up with the cards and they made some more cards, and we added them to the bags.

and i got some quality one-on-one time with the kids, who haven't been around as much so I don't know them as well, and we had some good bonding, and the cards they made were really sweet (they were a bit older than the other kids, the children's program is all ages 5-11 which is a wide developmental range)

and THEN, THE DELIVERIES which were an absolute fucking NIGHTMARE last year, but they went so smoothly.

There was one address that was pretty far out and I was worried about finding a driver for that, but then a friend of that guy's just emailed me like "hey I'll take his basket" (THEY'RE NOT BASKETS) so that was a problem solved. and then i lined up some volunteers for deliveries, but one of them dropped out last minute which would have sucked EXCEPT that the family that came late/on time was like oh we wanted to deliver some, so i got to be like oh sure yes definitely! here is a formational participation opportunity just for you!!!

and one of the other delivery volunteers sent me an email afetrwards thanking me for organizing this and saying she'd had a great time delivering them and wished she'd signed up for more!

augh - i'm just, i'm good at my job, y'all. i figured out how to make this a positive, formational, community building experience for all involved despite some pretty major challenges!

now...on to the sunrise vigil! at which i will be performing a poem! that i wrote! just now! aaahhh!

[chainedanchor]

You make wonderful morgott art and I would hands down buy the keychain. Aslo love the brushes and sketches you do, so soft but crisp.

Thank you so much!

I honestly didnt expect people to actually want these, I made them more for myself, especially since there is so little Godrick merch :<

But since there are some people who would buy them, im currently looking into making these! Will probably be a while because I have to figure out how selling them would work legally, but till then I will make some more designs (for stickers and maybe prints)

#anon ask

[randomingoftherandomness]

No One Asked But Here It Is Anyways

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? 

Technically closed. I hung a pretty scarf I got on holiday over the opening.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Yes. More so now that I’m comfortably older hahaha... I think it’s from the amount of time I spend in the sun. Remember your sunscreen!

(3) Can You Whistle?

Horribly but yes.

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Our Summer by TXT

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

I’m into pinks lately. Specifically soft pinks.

(6) Relationship Status.

Engaged to men who don’t know I exist. Sneaky link of women who don’t even exist.

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

My air conditioning remote says 23 degree Celsius.

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Nope.

(9) How Many Followers?

3738. I got rid of some prAWn blogs.

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Leo.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?  

Yes. Vitamin C + Zinc. It was a habit I picked up when I caught the Rona last year and it’s stuck around. Am thinking of adding Multi-Vits to the roster.

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?  

Sometimes when the stars align.

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

A lot of danmei :)

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

the words that came out of his mouth contrarily had an adult’s traits

(16) Favourite Anime?

I have too many, but lately I’ve been thinking about Death Parade so much, so that’s what I’ll give as the answer.

i should find time to do a rewatch... i’ll probably cry a lot...

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?  

Me. This morning. Reading ‘My Giant Nerd Boyfriend’ on WebToon.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Currently, stickers, washi tapes, and Kpop Lomo Cards.

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

A tuna sandwich with a cup of tea.

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Yes.

(21) Favourite Animal?

Rabbits.

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Only for Yuzuru Hanyu! He is utter perfection :)

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

2100 hours. It’s actually my bedtime now.

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

No.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Is this a trick question?

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled because I don’t live in a country with drinkable tap water and I miss the days when I did.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Good food, good company, good weather. And no one telling me to smile when I don’t want to or go and do things when I don’t want to.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?  

Movies.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

These days, cats.

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?  

Black.

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Neither.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?  

Depends.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?  

I believe that there’s a thread of magic in everyday living.

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

White.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?  

Enough so that I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue as a party trick.

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?  

I have bills and student loans.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?  

Yes.

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Unfortunately haha

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? 

Nope

(42)  Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?  

Lol, no.

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?  

I lucid dream and dream of people in my life that have passed. 

(44)  Do You Like Going On Airplanes?  

Yes. I like getting into my seat, buckling myself in, closing my eyes and KO-ing for the duration of the flight.

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.  

Infinity War. I have not recovered (derogatory)

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?  

Both.

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Right now? Stray Kids.

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?  

Yes.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?  

Yes and no?

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?  

Nope!

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Yes to both.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?  

Depends on the music.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?  

Wrap presents. I’m the designated family present wrapping person. An inherited position.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Cat & Dog by TXT (it’s been stuck in my head for days now...)

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

There’s only three sorts of weather where I live; Hotter than Hell, Wetter than Atlantis, Pollution. We are in the Hotter than Hell mode.

(56)  What Are You Craving Right Now?  

A chiropractor to come pretzel me back into coherence.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Female.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

Haven’t had homework since 2016 lol

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

That’s for me to know :)

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Yes. I enjoy the routine. 

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

None.

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Tumblr. Hands down, lol.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I use it.

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Sometimes.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Pass.

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

The innisfree one and the Sebamed one.

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

I don’t have a car so it’ll have to be the motel room.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?  

Mum still is. Dad passed at the height of Rona.

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?  

Nothing seems to pique my interest. I really do mean, nothing. I’ve only watched the Jujutsu Kaisen movie in theatres this year.

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

Do you miss the shit you flush down the toilet?

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

Be the best but not the only best

(74)   What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?  

I don’t have a preference.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?  

All the time.

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?  

Cornflakes with raisins.

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

...candy crush, tsuki odyssey, duolingo

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

I don’t know how to do CPR...

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? 

yes. everyday.

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? 

Lol, who hasn’t.

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

These days, not really.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Yes, but you can follow my IG for that I’m lazy to get up and put them on.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Seeing as I live in a studio, closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?  

Cooked, walked, worked

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?  

clothes?

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I’m lazy to go take a proper look at my bathroom sink, but innisfree green tea seed range (serum and eye cream), black tea serum, pomegranate range (capsule cream + serum), cherry blossom tone up cream, rice water toner, Biore Aqua Sunscreen. that’s just the ones i can name off the top of my head.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Day. I want to sleep...

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

See Q.77

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

My dad tried to give me a rabbit. I told him i can barely feed myself what more a rabbit.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Soda Water :)

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Whispering ASMR or one of those kisses ones

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

About ready to be done with this.

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

See Q.91

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

I have seven already lol

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Illuminaughti

#omg why did i think this was a good idea #get to know me #gab rambles

[laskinpublishing]

Donald Neal Laskin’s Uncalled for Commentary on Just About Anything That’s Often None of His Business

A Real Tall Story

If you read my last post, The Man Who Never Was?, you’d already be aware my family owned a dairy farm which doubled as a hotel. There, sometime in the late 1930s, my then thirteen-year-old brother, Sonny, and our cousin, Alex, hatched a plan to grow… Wait, I think I’m kind of getting ahead of myself.  

It all started with a boy I’ll call Jerry who’d come up from New York City for a few weeks one summer on vacation with his parents. Seeing my brother and cousin, who, as it happened, had just undergone growth spurts, Jerry was amazed at how tall these country boys were and kept pestering them for their secret.

It took Jerry some persuading because they were reluctant to divulge the source of their knowledge (or that Alex was actually from the Bronx visiting family).

At last, Jerry broke down their resistance. Swearing him to secrecy, they explained that country boys grew as tall as they did because of what they discovered raising crops.

Taking Jerry to the barn, they filled a pail with cow manure, had him take off his shoes and socks and stand in it for half an hour. To Jerry, it made perfect sense. After all, fertilizer worked on crops, why not people?

Every day, after the treatment, they measured Jerry’s progress by having him stand with his back to a support beam and notching off his height with a nail.  And every day, the latest notch would be at least half an inch higher on the beam than the previous day’s. At the rate he was growing, this city kid would be catching up with these country boys and maybe looking down on them long before it was time to go home.

The plan was working out just fine till Jerry’s parents you might say, caught wind of it. Why they wondered did their little darling smell like a bovine’s behind?

Pressed for answers Jerry cracked like a soft boiled egg, his oath of silence jettisoned faster than a made man in the witness protection program.

As for Sonny and Alex, the shit hit the fan. How they were punished, however, has been lost in the mists of time. However, I was led to believe their punishment was tempered by stifled laughter and just a hint of pride.

Not totally turned off by crass, unabashed commercialism? Good. I mean Good!

Go to LASKIN PUBLISHING and buy a book or two or six. Subjects range from humor to mystery, the paranormal, sci-fi and more with titles that include but are not limited to:

The Trilevolence by Donald Neal Laskin Facing execution for murder, on the run from both police and nameless killers, deserted and alone, Manuel Landaye must find a way to save his unborn son and perhaps mankind. It's a perilous journey taking him from this world to possibly the next.

When the Rant Is Due by Donald Neal Laskin; Original art by Stacey Laskin

Pages of original art, wry humor and lunacy covering the most impactful quarter century of Silicon Valley…and much more from medicine to monkeys.

Talara II by Liana Laskin

Earth conquered, a Talaran officer crushing a new revolt falls in love with a rebel, but can’t let him, or her superiors, discover her secret.

The Mysterious Death of Lord Redcomb by Donald Neal Laskin

The world’s most famous consulting detective is on hand to find out who dispatched Lord Redcomb. Could he himself be a suspect? Great fun with a killer ending.

Aunt Mamie by Donald Neal Laskin

Ethan Dimwiddy returns home from work to find two gigantic stuffed animals and an invitation to the place where his identical twin brother mysteriously disappeared twenty years before. And More!

Plus…

Stacey Laskin’s TheGrinDragon phantasmagorical art adding a uniquely different dimension to tees, mugs and stickers to name a few.

Level the Playing Field.

Support Independent Writers and Publishers.

Today Amazon has become our online bookstore/distribution center. While there’s no charge for uploading, publishing a book can cost two to four thousand dollars and more for copyediting, proofreading, design and cover art.

It’s David vs. Goliath

Costs are nothing to big established houses that are divisions of major corporations and can support their authors with everything from ghost writers to complete advertising and PR campaigns.

With 2 million titles on Amazon alone vying for your attention, the only way to level the playing field is increasing visibility. That means advertising and advertising costs money.

So, if you're in a position to, please DONATE

©Laskin Publishing 2022.  All rights reserved.

#Laskin Publishing #humor #mystery #paranormal #sci-fi #books #amazon books #kindle books #kindle #The Trilevolence #Mormon Tabernacle Choir #Uncalled for Commentary #dairy farm #hotel #1930s #New York City #summer vacation #parents #brother cousin #growth spurts #country boys #secret #barn #manure #shoes and socks #fertilizer #made man #witness protection program #crass #commercialism

[upthetracks]

1/1/24 - After June

June I was sitting with her watching her childhood cat take its last breath and crying and loving her just as much as always. Eating a can of mandarins by the river with the gnats crowding in, quickest thing I could grab out the pantry after I heard her laughing with someone I once hoped to love, delirious in the heat and the hunger. Sitting in one of the back pews of a tiny church, white in all black in a sea of black family in baby blue - they'd invited me but I didn't hear about the dress code - wiping tears and snot on my sleeve after seeing my full-of-life friend dead and still in the casket.

And June is the month I met my friend from Georgia who I been clinging to ever since. We started feeding people on a hot August day and haven't stopped. Made a pot of stew just two days ago to hand out. Same month I had a 3 day romance, last week back home for christmas I had my first gay hookup. In October, went to a trans celebration and won a vial of T, saw my friend's set up for diy hormones, tried dmt. Made a couple things I'm proud of - big back patch for a Palestine march, a t-shirt design to fund raise for the Atlanta community bail fund, 100 stickers against the cpc up the street. I've been learning how to be a better listener and friend to the kids at work. I've been laughing often. My weeks are often full. I sat in on a mutual aid teach in recently, and met a black organizer who makes me feel like there's work in this city that is actually meaningful and direct. There are some folks around me with passion who I feel I could learn from. A friend saved up a whole pile of bread tags for me and gave em to me as a Hanukkah gift, one of the sweetest things someone's done for me in a while. I feel like I'm better with people than I used to be, like I can sit and chat with anyone if I gotta. Makes me less scared to be around new folks. Watched some John Waters movies with my ex-lover. We spend a lot of time together still, I'm grateful there's still love and friendship between us. I think I've learned how to be there better for my friend that has panic attacks and spirals. I feel like I'm a better cook than I used to be. I feel a little older, a little more steady on my feet. Mostly I am ashamed of myself, but sometimes I catch a facet of myself reflecting some light back. I stand taller. The fog is less constant. There is more sharpness and motion and change. The months do not bleed into each other so much. I feel more. I think more, want more. I feel like I am living a sad small life, but a life.

This year I want to be more dependable, committed, autonomous, skilled. I want to build this distro up strong and right, I want to grow bolder and less afraid. I want to make art, read, learn, be curious, be spontaneous, fluid, quick to spring and do on a whim. Less lethargic, less trapped by inertia, indecision, comforting numbness. I want to laugh with friends, grow closer, kiss lovers, text back, climb trees, get hurt, get up, get to work. Be honest, be blunt, be open. Desire, want, hunger, plan, enact. Stick with it. More life, more life.

You will be ashamed, you will feel alone, you will feel lost, impotent, cowardly, stupid, stuck, stagnant. And you will wake up. And you will try just a little bit, and it will feel like an unfurling. And you will forget again, and when you feel it again it will be familiar. And then more familiar, less impossible, more reflexive, more matter of habit. Maybe one day you will have teeth and be free. More life, more life.

[grad604-haydenmiddleton]

20 OBJECTS WRITING PT.1

1. WHAT IS THE ITEM?

2. WHERE DID YOU GET THE ITEM FROM?

3. WHY IS THE ITEM SIGNIFICANT TO YOU?

4. HOW IS THE ITEM SIGNIFICANT TO YOUR CREATIVITY?

Testosterone

This is my medical prescription for testosterone. I go in every 3 weeks for an injection of this stuff. It took a lot of time to get to this point in my life but I can confidently say it has made me a happier more confident person to finally feel like I’m comfortable in my own skin. My gender is an extremely important part of me as it is for anyone, cis or not it’s important for us as people to express ourselves authentically to be perceived how we want to be and when someone misunderstands you it can be uncomfortable. Before in my creative process a lot of my art and work was fuelled by sadness, anger and confusion and although some might say I created my best work during those times of emotional high now I work with more thought, care and consideration.

Wacom

I got my first Wacom tablet when I was around 12 after borrowing my sisters one far too much. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t a fan of physically sketching before this and was much more drawn to digital art and the effects and style with this medium, even now I’m actually a horrible physical artists despite all my time spent drawing digitally. Being apart of these digital art and design communities helped me improve and be inspired. This was the first step in taking me down the path of graphic design and helped me realise what I wanted to do for work later in the life.

Converse

I wore fake kmart converse hundreds of times before finally investing in an actual pair of REAL converse and now I think I wear them every single day. I got them at my mums insistence since I think she was sick of me getting blisters with the ill fitting dupe. I am really a comfort over style person and although I like the converse style I know there are plenty of other stylish shoes out there but the converse work for me and make it easy to pick what I’m going to wear into uni or go out for a walk in. These converse have taken me plenty of places and I even got a second pair for my birthday thanks to my nana. Shoes are extremely important to see the world in and to take in inspiration from the world around me for my creative practice.

Ticket receipts

Here are some of the ticket stubs or receipts I’ve collected from going to shows. I keep these to preserve the memory of going out with friends or family to watch something. My favourite are plays and then also animated films, some may think it’s childish for me to still be so invested in colourful movies typically catered towards kids or teens but I really enjoy taking in the art and beauty of animation as inspiration for my own bright and bold creative style which also then in turn influences my graphic design practice. It’s also just a fun experience, I love going to the theatre and it makes the whole movie experience really engaging and immersive as I’m someone who actually has a very bad attention span for movies if I’m just watching it at home for example.

3DS + DS

The DSi was my the first ever gaming console, I got it for Christmas one year from my nana when I was around 7. This began my love for Nintendo and video games in general. I played a lot of Zelda Four Swords and Animal Crossing: Wild World with my sister and then other niche games geared towards kids like Littlest Pet Shop, Petz, Nintendogs and others. But it is whenever I played with my sister that I remember most and hold closest to my heart. Video games are such a creatively stunning work of love from the graphics to the music to the story they tell and in a way it’s very similar and goes hand in hand with graphic design as they communicate a story visually and through a specific creative style.

Sticker Collection

If some of my choices of objects don’t make it obvious enough, I’m a bit of a collector and my stack of sticker sheets is further proof. I have tons of stickers which I’ve collected over the years from a range of places like online artist stores, stationary stores and artist alley stalls from overload or Armageddon. But for someone who buys heaps of stickers too I actually get really nervous actually using them, I want to keep all of them nice forever and when I do put a sticker on something all I can think of is how it’ll most likely eventually fall or scratch off or even get UV damage from the sun and the colours won’t be as bright as they originally were. I’m a bad hoarder and need to get better at using some of these things up, but for now I will enjoy keeping them altogether in a box for safe keeping and for me to admire. Since a lot of the stickers are made by artists they inspire me a lot and often they’re made as merch for a show or cartoon I watch. For a long time it was always my dream to sell things like stickers myself and maybe one day I will get to that point too.

Pokémon Cards

Despite actually finding a lot of the games boring I have spent a crazy amount of money on my Pokémon card collection. But for me it isn’t about pulling the crazy rare and expensive cards (although I do have a few pricey ones in my collection), for me it’s all about collecting the pretty cards or cards I find visually appealing. There are hundreds of different artists working for Pokémon and so each card is personalised and has its own style. There is a specific card artist, Yuka Morii, who specifically does clay models of the Pokémon and for me, despite her cards usually being common cards, are some of the coolest ones to get. I think collecting them now as an adult is a way to appease my child self who always wanted to get Pokémon cards but I was told I couldn’t because they were a waste of money and I agree with this sentiment but at the end of the day I’m a person who just enjoys things and collectables and so collecting these bring me joy.

Burts Bees

Lip balm might be a weird inclusion to a group of objects that is supposed to be related to my creative process, but hear me out. I use to not take good care of my body at all, I was really depressed for a long time and the way I lived didn’t help this either, I wouldn’t sleep, eat or drink well. I’m not sure when it happened exactly but at some point I realised I needed to make changes. I set up a routine for my life including a wake up and going to sleep routine which helped things slightly, I was still depressed which sucked since I was actively trying to get better now but I think learning to have a routine and self awareness about what my body and mind needed is a hugely important skill which I still have today. Lip balm is just a representation of the changes and routine I made, after brushing my teeth at night and in the morning I drink a large glass of water and always apply lip balm, being hydrated is one of the many things I think is important for my body. It’s also something a little self indulgent and perhaps falls under the self care umbrella of things to do but it’s a small thing that brings joy and at the end of the day that is important to me, my mental health and then in turn, my creative process.

Washi Tape

Another stack of items that relates to my obsession to collect cute things is washi tape. This is a staple at a lot of stationary shops and I use to go a lot with my sister to check them out. She has always been a lot more careful with her money and me, not so much. I cant handle the temptation and usually always leave a stationary shop with something. I’ve always had the idea of doing a bullet journal, dairy or some kind of scrap book and I try to convince myself that is why I have a stupid amount of washi tape and other kinds of stationary but then I’ve tried to start these things up and always fail miserably due to a lack of patience and discipline to sit down and add to a journal everyday and decorate it with all my things. And yet I still collect washi tape, it’s just something cheap and cute that brings joy. I also think the aesthetics and patterns of washi tape inspire some of my brightly coloured art ideas and sometimes I even digitally draw washi tape to emulate physical craft style.

Tote Bags

Tote bags are another thing I started using after witnessing my sister style them. Since shes my older sister its easy to look up to her and think that everything she does is super cool and high fashion and so when she went to uni with one I also decided that a tote bag for uni would be cool and convenient. In actuality it really hurt my left shoulder and was really inconvenient to rummage around in to find what I was looking for. I still have a considerable collection of them though because I do think it adds to an outfit in a way that is more stylish than just a basic bag so although it doesn’t work for uni or when I have to carry a ton of stuff, It’s still a staple in my wardrobe. I also think its an artist or designer staple too, it’s perhaps a cliche but you’ll typically see a tote bag as a creatives bag of choice and so I guess I’m just doing my duty as a designer.

[thephoenixandthecrocodile]

I Finished Kingsley’s Rewrites!

Happy Pride!!!

I hope you all are staying safe, celebrating our amazing community, and breaking gender norms and cis, allo, heterosexual expectations everywhere. I celebrated pride by sending Kingsley, my angry queer anthro crocodiles giving the middle finger to colonial asshat wip to my editor after a six month long intense rewrite.

For those who don’t know, Kingsley aka the Queer Croc WIP is about:

Kingsley, an anthropomorphic crocodile rebel leader, is being tried for war crimes he definitely committed. To save his life (and maybe stop WWIII – no guarantees though), he’ll manipulate Alex, a traumatized journalist whose wife Kingsley tortured, into publishing classified documents that will implicate the rich and powerful in their own war crimes. What? He’s done worse. 

I hope this was the final rewrite and we can focus on copy edits and tweaking some things/catching inconsistencies. I don’t know if I have it in me to tear this book apart and rewrite it from scratch again. 

I’m still planning to launch this story first as a podcast and accompanying webseries and then throw a kickstarter to publish the actual physical copies. I’m also working on sticker/button/t-shirt/poster designs and maybe hand-sculpted busts and dreaming of plushies for my store. I’m really excited about the potential scope of this launch, but also have to actually sit down and crunch some numbers to figure out what I need to print/record/host everything. I guess that’s the one drawback of self-publishing (and the marketing). Honestly, though, dealing with finances and marketing seems like an easy battle compared to understanding what is going on with traditional publishing right now. 

Rewriting Journey

I got my editor’s comments back in September, but was deep in the accursed Demon book, so I didn’t really dive deep into their comments until I hate another dead end with the Demon Book. I think that was in October/November. I wrote Kingsley from November to January, addressing all of my editor’s comments. That was the first rewrite. Then I sent it to my beta readers who read it from March to May and then I rewrote it again based on their comments. I was five chapters away from finishing my rewrites when I noticed I actually missed major structural notes from one of my beta readers so I went through the book again and rewrote parts of it for a third time. Oh, and in February my dog died, completely devastating me and making it almost impossible to write. So it’s been a journey. 

First Structural Change

The crux of my editor’s comments was that, as it stood, the book was two different books and they either needed to be integrated better or I needed to split the book in two, which had been a fear of mine for a long time. However, being the stubborn jackass I am, instead of doing the easy (and maybe logical thing) and admitting defeat and splitting it in two, I doubled down and expanded Alex’s POV into a fully fleshed out narrative. 

Originally, the main POV was Kingsley (since the book is his memoir) and Alex was just a gadfly who poked at his narrative. However, my editor pointed out for Alex to be truly effective, they needed to tell their own story as well. So I added an Alex chapter for every Kingsley chapter and expanded Alex’s cast of characters to include people Kingsley mentioned in his memoir to bridge the two narratives as well as some of Alex’s family members to further explore the theme of how poisonous and expansive the horrors of colonialism is. 

The expansion of Alex’s narrative allowed me to better establish their own feelings towards their wife which made me happy because I really like their relationship, haha. 

It’s my favorite relationship trope: wild child who may be a magical entity meets straight laced nerd who willingly embraces both their beloved world of “logic” and “science” and her world of the unknown and “magical”. I’m fairly certain Alex is on the ace spectrum while Christine is most likely a biromantic ace and their marriage is strained because of a complicated pregnancy that neither really wanted but sort of went through because they thought they needed to to be “normal”. 

Adding Alex’s POV allowed me to explore that dynamic and, since they’re both on the ace spectrum, there was no traditional resolution of confessing one’s heart and then making out or having sex. It was nice to have these two characters actually talk to each other and begin the process of healing via dialogue and fight the ingrained impulse to “prove” they still love each other by having them engage in physical intimacy. Honestly, Alex kisses Christine’s cheek once and there’s a lot of hand holding, hugging, and crying, and that’s about it. It’s a very sex netural ace book. 

The other thing I’m glad I was able to do with this expanded POV is dig a little deeper into the harm of compulsive or expected desire to have children when you really don’t want children. To be perfectly frank, neither Alex nor Christine should have children because neither truly wants children, but they felt the need because they both feel alien and “broken” for different reasons and having children is the often offered answer. Feel incomplete: have children. Marriage is on the rocks: have children. Getting older: have children. Feeling lonely: have children (and for people with uteruses: you have to have children before your eggs run out!). Job’s no longer fulfilling: have children. Or, if you’re not concerned about not having children, other people are concerned for you. Why haven’t you had children yet? Are you planning to have children? When are you going to have children? I have children and it’s the best thing ever. Love giving up everything in my life for my children. You really should have children. Your eggs won’t last forever. What happens when you’re old and there’s no one to care for you because you don’t have children? 

The poking in nonstop and while my world is pretty progressive when it comes to gender and sex, there’s still this concept of a family unit (however you want to define it) and there’s still this need or desire to pressure others into having family units. And while Alex’s and Christine’s family members aren’t directly saying these things to them, many of them have children and have shifted from being single people or pair of people into “family mode” and there is concern about Alex and Christine and while that concern is more around their general mental health, I think it’s natural for Alex and Christine to misinterpret it as in “why aren’t you two settling down? Where is your family unit?” 

Add on top of that the fact that both Alex and Christine come from large families and there is even this internal expectation that they too would have large families because why won’t they (even though their lifestyle and actual goals means they’re not actually in a place to have children) and it just complicates everything. And I get to explore those complicated clashes of desires without feeling the need to resolve it with “oh, well, we’ll try again and do it better this time” or “actually, I really want children”. 

After adding Alex’s expanded POV, I needed to figure out how to resolve the footnote issue because my editor hated them but I love them. I grudgingly acknowledged that there were too many footnotes and decided I would add “primary sources” instead. So now I have posters, pins, wanted posters, maps, pamphlets, etc that I’m designing myself using Krita that I’ll insert throughout the chapters. I’m going to take the best and turn them into posters, shirts, and buttons people can buy as well. I’m super excited and while my drawing skills aren’t great, they’re not as bad as I thought they were. I’m just dreading the ten plus maps I have to draw….

Second Structural Change

After my first rewrite, I wanted beta readers to take a look to make sure I hadn’t overcomplicated an already complicated narrative (which I tend to do). Overall, the feedback was really positive but there were a few remaining structural issues: more footnotes were needed because this book is written by people who know the world and I don’t have an “outsider” or “new person” who needs things explained to them. Footnotes fill that gap. Two, since I expanded Alex’s POV I made a lot of references to his past (which is actually the series’ present, since his past is what all these books are leading up to) but the reader doesn’t know anything about it, so I needed to make a few things more specific. Finally, there is a wall between the reader and Kingsley. 

Adding the footnotes back in was fun and easy and I even got a few more ideas for the multimedia aspect of the book. Additionally, since I’m launching this as a podcast and accompanying webseries, I can also publish additional information on my website and when the book is ready for the kickstarter I can either publish those articles as appendices or as a separate companion book. 

Expanding Alex’s POV even more was initially a challenge because there were important things that happened to them that I wanted the reader to learn about in later books and I didn’t want to spoil anything, but I also realized that just because I go in depth into some tragic incident in Alex’s life doesn’t mean people won’t read the other books. In fact, it may make people more eager to read the other books because they are anticipating that the moment is going to happen and will want to actually read the moment in all its glory. So I expanded upon Alex’s previous relationship with Kingsley and how Alex knows the Demon monarch and I also provided context as to some of Christine’s past decisions which I’ll expand upon in the Demon book. Kingsley is Alex’s book whereas the Demon book is Christine’s and the Scorpion book will be either Christine’s brothers or Alex’s sibling’s book. 

However, expanding Alex’s POV also changed some of my plans for them, because I was building up a key moment with the Demon Monarch so much, I needed a better resolution than I originally planned. That also affected Christine’s plot which, in turn, affected her best friend’s and her oldest brother’s plot which may affect the family tree I spent hours working on…but that is a future problem. 

Finally, the gap between Kingsley and the reader. I’ve gotten this comment a lot and I think that’s just the way it’s going to be. Writing a memoir from an unreliable narrative severely limits how much information you can share and how much the reader will trust Kingsley, so even if I have him tell the truth, you’re going to be skeptical because you should be. He’s a manipulator and a bastard and he has so much unprocessed and complex trauma that he’s not going to be vulnerable in a memoir he’s purposely writing to implicate everyone still alive who could testify against him. The closest anyone can get to knowing him is through Oisin’s memoir, but there’s bad blood between the two so even that is suspect. 

In some ways, Kingsley and Alex have a pseudo Will and Chiyoh relationship from the show Hannibal, with the Demon Monarch being Hannibal (the Demon Monarch is currently in “hiding” although he’s mentioned many times in this book and will obviously make an appearance in the Demon book).

Both were manipulated/used/befriended by the Demon Monarch, both trapped in a past/prison they can’t escape, and both troubled with guilt but also anger that there should be guilt over associating with the Demon Monarch. Alex never loved the Demon Monarch, but there are definitely complicated emotions there (especially when one considers what happened between the Demon Monarch and Christine) and Kingsley “loves” the Demon Monarch, but it’s an ugly brutal love. And it’s this commonality that makes Kingsley think he can be familiar with Alex, but that’s news to Alex, haha. Ideally, this relationship will hit even harder once the entire series is out and people reread all the books. 

So, overall, these rewrites have added an additional depth to the plot and the characters and give a discerning reader the vague outlines of a roadmap for some of the other books in the series.

#my writing #queer writers #writblr #writers on tumblr #kingsley #queer anthro crocodiles #queer croc wip #writing accomplishment #accomplishment #final draft #queer characters #ace characters #gay characters #queer ocs

[someonelookingpraediti]

Sanderson Unboxing

02 - Hoid February 2023

This is just the most disappointing box I've ever opened. When I saw the package on my doorstep, I was genuinely confused - I thought "there's no way this is my Sanderson box, it's tiny!"

It's roughly the size that a hardback book comes in - less than half the size of a normal book subscription box!

And it was half empty.

For those who don't subscribe to book boxes, you normally receive a fully customised hardback book, and 4-6 goodies. This is more expensive than any of the boxes I subscribe to, and you get EITHER a book, OR the goodies. So I was really expecting them to be good.

The first item is a t-shirt. Now, this is the only item worth any actual money - and they've already announced it's going to be the only tee we get. I think this is because sizing has been a problem. But honesly, it's no great loss, because it's not a good quality tee. It's really thin, like you'd get printed at one of those same-day high street printers.

Next is a mouse mat. A bloody mouse mat. And it's the flimsiest, cheapest mouse mat I've ever seen. Even if I had a desktop computer, which I don't because it's not 1998, I wouldn't use this. It's like something that gets handed out at corporate giveaways to promote a business. Which, in fact, sets a trend for the rest of the box...

Next is a block of post-it notes. Genuinely. I don't even really know what to say about this. They're not even like, a shape? They're the standard post-it block you buy from a stationers, with a quote on them.

And there are some stickers. Which might be okay if it was like an extra item in an already-full box. But is anyone actually going to be impressed with this as an item?

And finally, there's a badge. We're apparently getting one of these in each box, and if I remember rightly, it was one of the stretch goals? I love a badge. I really do, it's one of my favourite things to get in a book box. This one is so thin and poor quality, that I would honestly be embarrassed to be seen wearing it.

This is, essentially, a box full of cheap corporate office supplies. I'm absolutely crushed, and actually quite a lot angry. People really put their faith in Brandon Sanderson, and pledged a huge amount of money to get these boxes made. We paid up front almost a year ahead of time because we trusted that he'd ensure these were done well. I don't know exactly how much input he had in the design of these boxes, but he allowed them to be sent to his fans, with his name on. I really wish I could cancel for the rest of the year.

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[myconstantoutput]

Speculative Design Sketches

For my speculative design media, I replayed a bit of Soma, a survival horror game released in 2015. After surviving a car crash, protagonist Simon Jarret suffers from brain damage and bleeds that is slowly killing him. He signs up for a trial brain scan and wakes up a hundred years in the future in an underwater facility where everyone he encounters are robots who think they are human. As the game progresses, Simon (and the player) finds out that the Earth was recently struck by a comet, wiping out all life on Earth except for at the Pathos-II facility located in the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. He meets Dr. Catherine Chun, who explains that she was working on brain scans and uploading them onto her project, the ARK, which is a simulated reality for those who got their brain scanned and to be launched into space where they keep living for possibly thousands of years. As Simon and Catherine continue on, they encounter some of Catherine's former colleagues who had their brain scanned but end up with their minds in robots. Though I did not finish the game, I decided to come up with some speculative designs based on this concept, that people's consciousness are uploaded into robots.

On the first page of my sketches, I drew a vintage diving suit, one that reminds me of something you would see in Spongebob. I started here because I was not feeling particularly inspired at this point and Simon is actually half robot and half (dead human) body in a diving suit. I like the way vintage diving suits are stylized, so I drew one facing forward and one facing sideways. I got to thinking about helmets and decided to draw one that is shaped like fish. The first one I drew is shaped like an anglerfish, with a lantern attached to the top of the head and the eyes in the mouth of fish. I thought about other distinctive fish that could be made into helmets and landed on the hammerhead shark. I thought about how the eye holes of the helmets might limit the wearer's vision so I made the eyes of the hammerhead cameras and had them display onto the eye hole glass.

On the next page, I strayed away from diving suits and went back to the original concept I landed on, if people's consciousness were uploaded into robots. I tried to make the first robot look like some of the robots I came across in the game, specifically Catherine's robot, but it kind of looks like Wall-E. I gave the robot camera eyes to see its surroundings, a microphone so they can hear the things around them, speakers for the robot to talk, and some arms with claw hands. On the back, I labeled places where the cortex chips (which held Catherine's mind/consciousness in the game) goes, some trunk space because I imagine like humans robots have things they want to carry, and a cat sticker to indicate their robot bodies can be customizable like how humans get tattoos and piercings and dye their hair to make their bodies their own. For the second robot, I made the design simpler, with a monitor display that can display their face, camera, speakers, microphone, a thin body, and wheels. For a side view, I made slight changes by giving it a backpack and a different set of wheels for better terrain navigation.

In the middle, I went back to the diving suits and designed some tool attachments that could be attached to the diver's hand to be used, including a drill, a sword, and a webbed glove to help with swimming. Though originally designed for divers, this could be used for the underwater robots as well.

In the game, structure gel is said to be some sort of "highly proteinated, cross-linked lubricant, and a conductor, and a signal medium." It can repair, increase functionality, and do a ton of other stuff. It's even what is holding Simon together, considering he is essentially some robot parts stabbed into a dead body. With this being said, structure gel can be very important for robots, so I imagined structure gel dispensaries in the underwater robot societies. Of course, structure gel could probably be sold on shelves of regular stores but I wanted to give them their own dispensaries.

The final sketch at the bottom right of the second page is of the Omnitool used in game. While it is an integral part of the game, holding Catherine's mind, I think it's essentially a glorified door opener, like swiping your ID to get into a building or a room. If it was any more sophisticated, it would be like our smartphones.

[stevensonthestrup88]

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