#a lot of people are tagging this as bpd which is funny considering this is vent art and that’s a disorder i don’t have | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justalilpearlie · 3 months

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Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts

Was abt time I did one of these.

Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.

I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -

I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

- -💥-🐺-🌙- -❤️- -💛- -✨-💥-✨- -💛- -❤️- -🌙-🐺-💥- -

DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj

- -🪸-🐸-🌙- -💙- -🩵- -✨-🪸-✨- -🩵- -💙- -🌙-🐸-🪸- -

"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

- -🌸-⛰️-🌙- -💚- -💙- -✨-🌸-✨- -💙- -💚- -🌙-⛰️-🌸- -

Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny <3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)

Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3

New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)

That's it folks, love yall and see you around!

#intro post #introduction #c!pearl irl #sammy emily irl #delusional attachment #fictionkin #fictkin #fnaf irl #life series irl #empires irl #mcyt fictkin #mcyt fictionkin #mcyt kin #system friendly #endos dni #mcyt irl

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dontinterupt · 2 months

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Introduction to The Mind Of Many

Technically our second one... but our last one wasn't exactly an 'Official' introduction post and more just something that was quickly typed up on the day the account was created, so here we go!

We are a Traumagenic System of 20, we have an 'About Us' on our page which you can find here but it's more of a list than it is an 'About'.

It's listed as a WIP but honestly, I don't know how much is going to be done with that (if anything). Not only because we don't feel it's particularly necessary for us to publish a lot of specific details considering the nature of this account is very much just for fun and having our own space to talk about whatever we want. There is of course the obvious aspect of privacy, as well as the fact that we are constantly learning more about ourselves everyday too, so having an accurate and intricate paragraph describing each headmate seems a little unrealistic for us with where things stand...

We collectively will respond to Peter, as that's the alias that we use online in general, but Peter in tags will be used for Peter the Host. We also collectively use he/him. Yes we have separate ways to be addressed/that some of us like to be addressed when fronting... but no one is going to be offended by being called one collective thing either if someone doesn't know we are a system/doesn't know who's fronting/wants to address all of us collectively etc!

Any text post from us will be under ramblings and the nature of these posts can be anything from letting out some emotions and having a bit of a complain to just talking about thoughts that pop into our head or something we thought might be funny, so just keep that in mind as we aren't incredibly organised with tags and labelling things.

Posts tagged under ramblings may or may not also be followed up with who was fronting if they feel like tagging themselves, for example when tagged under Peter or Zero. There may be multiple names if someone is co-con/co-front.

Sometimes names in tags will also be used if a post or image reminds us of someone in the system and we want them to see it OR they found it cool themselves and wanted to specifically tag themselves underneath for whatever reason.

Feel free to interact, we're always open to messages. We may not always reply immediately, but that doesn't mean that you're at all a bother. Some headmates are a lot more enthusiastic about talking than others, it depends on our general energy levels too, but we'll always get back to you when we can!

Don't really have any type of DNI list as typically we'd just block people as we see fit.

Other things about us:

Bodily we are 24.

We have ASD, NPD, BPD, C-PTSD and Methamphetamine-Induced Neuronal Damage. These things don't define us, but they may be relevant when it comes to some of the things we post and share. It may also be useful when it comes to others making an informed decision on whether this is the kind of blog that they'd like to follow as these topics probably will come up at least occasionally within some of our content!

Honestly that should be about all for now! Hope to see you around!

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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What type of friend are you? funny mom friend so like... dad friend? XD

Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? nah

Do you have a family member you hate? could say so

Does your family accept who you are? it’s complicated

Have you ever puked in school or at work? luckily not

Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? hate

Have you ever coughed up blood? nope

Do you lie to your doctor? sometimes we all have to but nothing important

Have you ever been misdiagnosed? yup

Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? that too

Is self diagnosing good or bad? depends

Do you think sex is overated? it is

Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? I’m not dating men, I don’t want to have a son and I am not a doctor so I don’t care about male bodies, sorry

If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? ...

Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? nooo

Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? I don’t drink

Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? I don’t think so

Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? no

Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? it wasn’t a lie but I bend the truth a little

Have you ever gone on a first date with no underwear? I might go without a bra but because I don’t wanna wear it and not because I might have sex

Do you treat attractive people better than others who aren’t as attractive? nope

Are you more comfortable with friends that are less attractive than you? not less but not more as more attractive might make me feel insecure at times

Have you ever hated a job to the point that you tried to get fired? I would if they let me stay in few places but luckily they didn’t care much about me as their worker hahaha

Have you ever lied about your weight on a driver license? there is weight on a driving license? :o

Have you ever lied during a job interview? meh

Have you ever lied to your boss to get out of work? I exaggerated feeling sick once to not get a job in a horrible place if that counts

Have you ever lied under oath in court? I wouldn’t!

Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? I said NO

Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? I only took tag from an identical item, just different color, as someone tore it out before and I really wanted that particular color, so no

Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wont want your parents to see? umm... yeah ^^”

Did you ever tell your BF/GF you like their outfit when you really didn’t? there are different types of like - like as I would want to wear that myself and like as I enjoy it in general but also like it on particular person etc.

Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF ’s family? could be worse lol

Do you lie about your age? what for if everybody think I’m younger anyway

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? maybe

Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? hell no

Have you ever snuck out of the house to go out with friends? not really

Have you ever shoplifted? no way

Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? yup Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? omg

Have you ever held back a well deserved compliment because you were jealous? I don’t recall

Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? hope not, I try not to, it’s manipulative and I already am seen this way due to my BPD so...

Would most ppl consider you better than average looking? pfft Would you prefer to have hot body or high IQ? good health

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I’m ashamed to tell them that I don’t have a job

Would you give up your car to save the planet? if I had one...

Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? woman :x

Has your credit card ever been declined? I don’t use a credit card

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? oh no...

Do you think your parents are too critical of you? my mother is

Ever blame a sibling for something you did wrong? I usually have to take the blame for her instead

Have you ever accepted credit for someone else’s work? just my alters lmfao

Did you ever buy something expensive,wear it once and return it? I didn’t, I have no money to buy and no heart to act like this either

Have you ever re-gifted something? shitload of times

Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? not for future ppl, just for itself

Do you own anything from IKEA? not furniture

What was the last task that you required the use of scissors for? I just dropped them and let them lay on the floor under the table because I am unable to reach ‘em

Look around the room and name any item that’s grey. stuffed bad from Biedronka that I got on a flea market

Do you know what any of your close friends did yesterday afternoon? me and M. been spending time together while my parents were at home

Can you recall the last time you woke up in a bad mood? Why was that? I always do?...

Who was the last person to send you a message with a heart emoji? my gf obviously

Does your hometown have many good bookshops? none

What would be your typical outfit for a party? I don’t attend parties

If your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you tonight, what would you do? oh...

last dream you had: K. 3D printed or smth almost identical album as the ones I had as a baby and her and my current partner gave it to me as a gift :3

do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? I aware of that

is your best friend pissing you off at this exact moment? I informed my father that I dropped scissors and now as I picked them up he asked me when and how they ended up there while I told him about it few minutes ago - I was more worried than annoyed tbh

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? she’s taking a nap

Sex ruins relationships, right? it can happen

Last person to stand up for you? hmm...

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I lost count which is weird because I cry in front of my family members only (not even my grandma until I was a baby), I know that sometimes I cry in public but because I don’t give a fuck about strangers as much as I used to, close ones in the other hand... Nat hates the most when someone sees him so vulnerable

Something good going to happen tomorrow? doubt it

The last person you kissed hates you. Why? would have reasons

What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11? it’s a secret you can unlock in a very high level of our relationship

Do you like your cell phone? it’s ok

So, what if you married the last person you kissed? we’re engaged so that dream ain’t that unreal

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? uh oh

Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I wish

What are you listening to at the moment? mom and dad talking <rolling my eyes>

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? or never

What’s your favorite high school memory? I have a bunch of those

Do you wish you had more money? absolutely

Team Jacob or Team Edward? team hate Twilight

Do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? with bicurious maybe, definitely not gay

Have you ever held hands with the opposite sex? I have

Are you a patient person? weirdly unpatient Do you think you are a good person? am not

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? ewww

Is there a difference between the word ‘best friend’ and ‘friend’? there is

How was your week? rollerclaster XD

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? usually

When was the last time you cried? recently

What letter is the song you’re listening to under? M if vocalist/band B if title of the song

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s I guess

Do your socks say anything on them? I have no socks with anything said on them

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. BBC

Gray or Grey? grey

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? I won’t

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? yasss, it was fine

How many weddings have you been to? less than 5

When you smile, are you confident? I am not

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? of course

Was the weather beautiful today? it’s cold

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? I don’t own a fan Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? walls? orange

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? why not whole

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I dislike it

Does/Did your school have a uniform? middle school only and that was a great idea

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? not gonna

What’s your favorite thing to do? nothing

If your house was haunted, what would you do? depends

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? slow internet

Are you a fast or slow walker? which alter? :P

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I must buy belt for Nat

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? no comment

What age do you look forward to reaching? I live on borrowed air...

What exercise do you hate the most? awkward ones

Do you know anyone that has a gecko as a pet? no

What color shirt is your mom wearing today? she’s wearing a striped pajama and light blue sweater atm

Does any part of your body hurt right now? mor than one

Do you like Greek Mythology? not a fan

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

What was the last question you answered, not on surveys? it was more an order than a question coming from my mom

Do you own anything Polo? used to

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? neighbor

What is your favorite endangered animal? are elephants still endangered?

Do you like to dance? kinda, from time to time Who was the last person who screamed your name? mom’s calling me again, grrr...

Which underwater creature do you find the most badass? what do you mean?

How do you usually find out what the weather will be like for the next week? someone tells me, I ignore them, they were wrong all along

Why have/haven’t you joined Twitter? I left as it was boring and irritating Are you good at rhyming? but don’t like to rhyme

When’s the last time you were woken up in an obnoxious way? lately it’s common

Why do you/don’t you enjoy horror movies? they’re disgusting and pointless

Do you have any celebrity’s perfume? I don’t use perfume

How well do you do at Scrabble? in polish or english?

Who is your favorite Scooby-Doo character? Velma I suppose

Have you ever played or been interested in playing World Of Warcraft? been interested, liked the movie

What kind of cake/other dessert treat did you have for your last birthday? nothing?

Who do you think does the best job at cartoon voiceovers? Jarosław Boberek

Does your dad wear a watch all the time? years ago frequently

How much ice cream do you think you’d be able to eat before you got sick? only a bit

Do you know anybody under 40 with grey hair? I have some myself

Do you think you have the potential to be a good stalker? oh well...

Why did you read the last book that you read? I watched film and heard it has a different ending so wanted to check it out

Have you ever cross-dressed? clothes have no gender but I drew mustaches and such

Which sport are you the best at playing? unihokej/floorball or however it’s called

Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? possibly

What would you do if you were in that situation? I’m an asexual and I’m into girls

Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? not possible

Do you prefer on-campus classes or online classes? online

What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? personal

What’s something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? my skin for example (not color)

What gaming consoles do you own? I only play PC and android

Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? been to ER few times

Do you know any lesbian couples? I’m in one ;)

Have you ever lived in an apartment building? just when I was staying with my grandmother

What was the last topic you asked someone for their opinion or advice on? not sure which was last

Is your house visible on Google Street View?- barely

What’s the largest thing you currently have in your refrigerator? *shrug*

Do you know anyone who has never had a pet? I believe

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? no thx

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? neither Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? not every single time, it’s impossible!

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? sorta, I think they’re lying/want something or make fun of me (even if just slightly teasing for fun)

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? I’m more “ghost” type of person hahaha

Do you wake up cranky? mhm

What is on your wrists right now? sleeves

Are you a beach, country, or city person? country or small town

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? we are

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? ex - I got a gift and found a shirt for Nat and myself :3

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? -

Are you waiting for something? food

Something you do a lot? suffer

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? it’s not about the amount

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? she likes hugs

How long have you liked the person you like? it’s a long story

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? not our last kiss

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I worry

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? we kissed

Are you one of those people who are always cold? not always but often

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? I still feel like it even tho I don’t, I thrift often but spend little for those trinkets

Did you sing at all today? może coś nuciłam, nie pamiętam, w headspace?

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? weather

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? gave it away to John

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? typing on the computer

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? hate

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? trashy

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? skinny

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? none

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I don’t care for diamonds

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? plenty of times

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? smth in between

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? I don’t need period to have mood swings, it’s stereotypical!

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? aha

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? we would end up having sex? jk

When/where did your last hug take place? today

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? kind of

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? and with family

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? no shit Sherlock!

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? don’t wanna talk about all that

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? my fiancee

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? done

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? we’re together again

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? :D

What’s a cuss word you use often? there’s a whole list

Who’s the last guy you texted? dad

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? this question...

Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I remember how we met

Do you believe that people talk about you behind your back? ha!

If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? yuk

What are you listening to? Tame Impala - Let It Happen

Did you do something mean to someone today? she deserved it!

Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? babcia...

Give us a lyric from a song you’re listening to: The truth of it is it doesn’t get better than this

Is your birthday in less than 6 months? whoops

What brings out the worst in you? better not say that out loud

How’re you feeling right now? bad

Are you afraid of the future? very

Do you believe in true love? I’m trying

Do you believe that every one has a soul-mate? not everybody

Was today a good day? should be better

What woke you up this morning? woke up on my own

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? I don’t

Have you ever played naked twister? wut...

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? not yet and don’t plan to keep it that long

Would you get in trouble if you came home drunk? that would be a shock to my family (and to me)

Do you ever think about things and start to worry? 100% of the time

Are you one to get annoyed easily? that me!

Is the last person you kissed yours? we don’t own ppl...

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? girl

Are you scared of spiders? am not

Do you hate the last boy who talked to you? I love my parent

Do you tend to make things complicated? not on purpose

Have you ever gotten to the point where you’ve said “I’m done trying”? gqe1gIQASGCK...

Do you think things will change in the next few months? I’m afraid for worse

Do you like when people play with your hair? it’s strange

What are you wearing right now? bluzę w czarne i białe paski, zieloną bluzkę z długimi rękawami i szare legginsy z niebieskim wzorkiem

Ever feel like you have been replaced? more than once

Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? write

Are you lying to yourself about something? thx a lot for this ask...

Is the person you last texted single? she’s with me

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? tha hell

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move to? just my own apartment

Which do you prefer, relationship or a one-night-stand? relationship

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goodjobcornjob · 4 years

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I was tagged by @icedchailatte, people like never tag me in these things I feel so honored lmao.

Don’t feel obligated by any means if you’re in this list, but I’m tagging @pumpkin-queef @msblam @cydoniadreamland @flaccid-robot-penis @borjaxton @lethargicthylacine @coffeeofthegay

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? Country, then I could have sheep!

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Fencing! I took a week long fencing class once when I was little and have wanted to get into it more since.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I drink coffee with a blinding amount of sugar, but with tea it really depends. Usually some sugar but not much.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Not to be a furry on main but the warrior cats books were my JAM.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. I used to prefer baths but then someone pointed out to me that bathing is stewing in your own filth and now I’m grossed out by them. Do love bath bombs tho.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Does shapeshifter count? That would be best for my indecisive ass.

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper. The physical thing just hits different yknow?

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? Either a Ghost band shirt I have, since they’re one of my fave bands and my partner gave it to me, or this t-shirt I got from a friend with a smug looking frog face that says “yikes” on it.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? Already changed it baybee ;)

11. Who is a mentor to you? I have a friend who’s like a master class level cosplayer who’s slowly but surely teaching me The Ways Of The Cosplayer™️.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sometimes I think so, I’d love to make a huge number of people happy either by being funny or with my art, plus I’d love to be able to help spread awareness and end stigmas through fame, but then I remember how paranoid all that attention would make me. Long story short, no.

13. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Not really, but I can be if I wanna be.

14. Which element best represents you? Personality quizzes reliably tell me earth, so earth I guess?

15. Who do you want to be closer to? My friends from college. We never talk unless it’s in person and I don’t get to see them much :(

16. Do you miss someone at the moment? Yeah. I cut ties with my old Favorite Person (a thing related to BPD) about 1 1/2 years ago because she’s toxic af, I still regularly think about/miss her.

17. Tell us about an early childhood memory. When I was 11 I pulled out my two front teeth (not baby teeth, the actual legit ones) pulling open a drawer with my mouth while pretending to be a cat. I had to get a root canal to put them back in place, and was a lil celebrity at my dentist for years because of it. All the dentists loved root canal cat kid xD.

18. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? My childhood house is so dusty I could (and regularly did) catch dust in my mouth like snowflakes until I learned what it was.

19. What are you most thankful for? How well my transition has gone so far/the fact I’m able to transition at all.

20. Do you like spicy food? I desperately want to cause so much food from other cultures is spicy, but my acid reflux prevents me from building much of an immunity to it so I’m way too much of a wuss.

21. Have you ever met someone famous? I shook Bill Nye’s hand when he visited my hometown for a talk.

22. Do you keep a diary or journal? Yes, for therapy mostly, but I usually forget to write in it.

23. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pencil. I goof way too much to not be able to erase.

24. What is your star sign? Virgo. I don’t care about or believe in astrology at all tho.

25. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy, I’m no heathen.

26. What would you want your legacy to be? I just wanna be known for being helpful.

27. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love reading, but haven’t regularly since early high school. Last book I read was a wholesome manga called Merman In My Tub. I recommend it.

28. How do you show someone you love them? I usually send them lots of things related to stuff they like and make gifts for them.

29. Do you like ice in your drinks? Absolutely.

30. What are you afraid of? Spiders (not nearly as much as I used to be thanks to exposure therapy), ticks, parasites, death, confrontation, losing my friends.

31. What is your favourite scent? Probably either rose or campfire.

32. Do you address older people by their name or surname? First name unless they tell me otherwise.

33. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d live on a commune with my close friends. We wouldn’t be totally self sufficient, but we’d grow/make at least half the food and clothes we use. I’d come as close to having a private zoo as a person can actually ethically do without cramping/neglecting the animals. I’d play video games more than I worked. I’d regularly house people with nowhere to go. I’d sell sewing commissions and work somewhere like an animal rescue facility. A guy can dream 😔.

34. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Pools. If I think too much about how much poop has to be in any natural body of water it sets off my OCD (I’m fine if I forget to think about it tho).

35. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? Keep it. There’s no way to track who’s it is, if there was I’d try to return it.

36. Have you ever seen a shooting star? A few times.

37. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I don’t want kids, but if I did I’d want to teach them how to recognize differences in cultural practices without putting value judgements on them.

38. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have one (zelda tattoo on my shoulder), and am planning many more. Next one I want is a paw print from my cat on my stomach where he likes to knead.

39. What can you hear now? The wind in the trees outside, the fan, my partner shifting his feet, I think cicadas?

40. Where do you feel the safest? The living room when I’m alone in the house, listening to music and snuggling with my cat.

41. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Either my misophonia or my fear of confrontation.

42. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? Pre-colonialism North America. I’d love to see this continent in its not fucked up state.

43. What is your most used emoji? Tie between 🅱️, :’) and 😬

44. Describe yourself using one word. Clown.

45. What do you regret the most? Never standing up for myself or my friends as a kid/teen.

46. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. Very good but also overrated.

47. Last tv show you watched? Something I don’t remember the name of on PBS about octopi.

48. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Schlumple. It’s like when you’re sitting slumped and squished in on yourself you’re sitting all schlumpled. My rats do it all the time.

#long post #i expect nobody to care but yknow its real ce la vie hours

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sapphic-romeo · 5 years

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So funny thing my therapist (who immediately gave away my recurring slot when I missed one session) was just cycling around to bipolar disorder in terms of trying various treatments and I thought BPD stood for Bi-Polar Disorder so I went looking thru the tag here in tumblr dot com and I was all like "holy shit! Same!" But then I realized that no, it stands for Borderline Personality Disorder so of COURSE the tag isnt for me and I'm not supposed to relate to any of it.

BUT THEN

(Disclaimer: I know watching a TV show isnt a diagnosis and only a doctor who knows you pretty well can even begin to do that)

Ages later, I watched Crazy Ex Girlfriend on Netflix and (spoiler alert) she finds out she has BPD and they go over a lot of the symptoms and she starts treatment etc etc (side note I straight up cried when I saw the support she got from her people), and I realized when they got out the dsm definition-- maybe that IS me.

So. I talked to my mom about it (which is weird in itself cause I dont normally trust her with personal information) and COME TO FIND OUT, she was diagnosed with BPD when she was in marriage counseling with my dad. Now, idk the exact circumstances or if the counselor was actually qualified to issue a diagnosis, but my mom certainly exhibits a lot of the traits too, AND BPD is genetic. Plus, BPD isnt a super common diagnosis; a lot of people get labeled as bipolar and that's the end of it (some of the drugs are the same though so the treatment probably still helps a bunch). Its a pretty big coincidence that my mom would be diagnosed and her kids who have the same traits would have something else, right?

I wanna get on the (2 goddamn month long) wait list for the campus health center asap cause if I can update my family medical history that can get me closer to an official diagnosis and treatment. Of course theres the transition thing to consider; since one of the traits is identity related it could get marked down as comorbid and then no one will let me transition cause "you're not actually trans, you're just crazy." So maybe I should pursue transition first and diagnosis second.

#long post #ignore me #mental illness #bpd #bipolar #trans #transition

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thewasteland · 2 years

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Hi I hope your morning/evening is going well! I came here and was wondering if it’s okay to ask for advice or ask if anyone else is going through something similar?

TW: One mention of SH (only mentions the initials)

I recently was diagnosed with BPD which has been helpful but also incredibly stressful with changing therapists and getting into contact with new psychiatrists and all that fun stuff. I opened up to a few really close friends about my diagnosis (and family) and something kinda unexpected happened? My friends who all have diagnosis ranging from autism, adhd, MDD, PTSD, etc. are being kinda insensitive about everything? They keep making these harmful statements like “She can’t do this anymore or she’ll have an episode” or making fun and/or being condescending towards the fact that I took a gap semester and took a break from my job and am now getting back into everything (straight up one friend holds the fact they make $1.00 more than me over my head like ???) “It’s about time you went back” “She might have an episode this isn’t a good idea” I’m really frustrated because A) they aren’t around me when I have episodes I self-isolate and they don’t know anything about what an episode could look like B) they started actually like this after I told them about my diagnosis they never treated me like this before. Also I don’t SH at all, so now they’ve actually tried to take things away from me and laugh about how I will try??? I did open up to them about how i felt but they keep talking over me or you know get all defensive over it and so resolving this actually has been difficult because they won’t listen. I’m just really frustrated and disappointed and honestly becoming so fed up I’m really considering ending some 10+ yr friendships and I really wish I had friends rn who understood what it’s like having this and weren’t treating me like a ticking time-bomb.

Hi anon! It’s definitely ok to drop into our ask box to vent or ask for advice, it’s always open!

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I do know BPD has a lot of stigma surrounding it but I’m so sorry that you’re going through this with your friends, those are such horrible things to say. I don’t know why anyone, especially people who call themselves your friends, would make fun of your pain like that.

I will say I did have a couple similar experiences with friends in college, although mostly they just cut me off when I dropped out :))) but I don’t think I’ve experienced any bullying to the extent that you are, that sounds truly awful.

I will post your question and tag it to see if anyone else has advice for ya. My personal advice would be to cut those people off and find new friends, maybe even a support group for people with BPD? Idk what kind of options are available to you. But the sad truth is you can’t educate someone who doesn’t respect you, and it doesn’t sound like your friends are showing you any respect or love right now, which is what you deserve. There are better people out there, I promise 💖

Again, I’m really sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. People can be so disgustingly ableist and act like mental disorders are a funny joke and it’s so horrible when these conditions can be debilitating or even lethal.

I hope you’re holding up ok anon, and if you ever wanna reach out we’re here for ya. Best of luck💖💖

#asks #bpd #actually bpd #borderline things #borderline life #bpd help #bpd questions #bpd tag #bpd support #bpd recovery #bpd life #bpd vent

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redplaygrounds · 6 years

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30 Questions

Tagged by @smiling-in-spanish

Gender: female

Birthday: 13th of February

Last movie seen: hmmmm not sure it might have been Bad Moms 2 a while ago cos I’m more into shows than movies

What do you post/reblog: politics and… Wow I have no idea what else. Self-loathing rants?

Last thing you Googled: “Jughead’s birthday” (lol I’m a piece of trash. Pls don’t judge me for watching Riverdale!)

Favourite blog: idk if this means to tag someone or not but I honestly don’t have a favourite, I guess stuff that matches my political views? Of like taking care of people and recognising that some people need more care than others cos we structured the world deliberately to hurt them?

Dream job: getting paid to binge watch shows and nothing else. Nah ok for real… Maybe counselor/‘therapist’, or paid revolutionary. Lol. (Not kidding though.)

Dream trip: away from my family. Nah it’s love to go back to Canada and see the people I met at the conference again - essentially just redo that trip hahaha. Or do something similar, a political conference, but in a Spanish speaking country and I could stay on afterwards to work and learn the language properly.

Bonus! More realistic dream trip - taking my brothers up north to see the treaty grounds and do a whole history journey to teach them about colonisation in NZ, pre-European Maori history, the NZ wars, the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, and everything else that I can squeeze in. They need to know. Ooooh and taking them to Waitangi on Waitangi Day. (Non-NZers will be confused by this entire paragraph but it’s v v important in terms of the past, present and future relationship between Pakeha/white and Maori/Indigenous NZers)

What would be your first entry in a new diary:

“I’ve done this too many times and I’m not giving you a whole backstory on my life to start off this diary. If you’ve reading this and you don’t know me then you must be a historian (if so why the hell are you reading this?) so you can research for yourself.

Nothing is good enough. The world, my life, my family and me.”

Top 3 things you love about yourself:

Ummmmmmmm I care about the world a lot a lot a lot. My hair’s nice I guess? Don’t love it though…. Idk. Oh, I’m a damn good mum friend.

3 things you wish you knew how to do:

Speak Te Reo Maori, speak Spanish, do the splits

Something you wish you had discovered/invented first: I don’t get the question really. If I wanted to make something but it already exists then I’m glad ya know? But maybe the #metoo movement?

3 qualities you like in a person: same as @smiling-in-spanish actually - sense of humour, kindness, intelligence. But kindness doesn’t have to be so much on a personal level as on a social/political level if that makes sense

3 qualities you dislike in a person: selfishness is a bit… Urgh. And arrogance, arrrrrggghhhhh so frustrating. And overdramatic/attention-seeking tendencies. It’s funny though cos all of those I hate but in some ways I wish I could be - even though it’s such a big fear of mine that I’m all 3, at the same time I wish I could be more of all three cos I’d get more attention.

Favourite planet: Earth. We haven’t been good to her but she’s been good to us. Plus daaaaamn she’s the prettiest of all of them!

A resolution you make every year: I don’t really make resolutions that much cos everyone knows they don’t stick. Last yr I said to be more honest which I don’t think really happened.

Something you’re better at than most people: comforting people

Something you’re worse at than most people: choosing who to be vulnerable with. In fact just vulnerability in general

Favorite thing about Tumblr: politics. I know, most people think it’s terrible here for that but it NZ not many people I come across are talking about intersectional feminism. Also fandoms. Argh they feed my heart!

Least favorite thing about Tumblr: how cos of the social awareness I expect white people to be better about recognising our privelege but we’re really really not (especially LGBTQ+ white people cos it’s like… You can see the oppression you experience but not the other elephant in the room?) White people are so stubborn and determinedly ignorant in that respect. Argh.

AND how US-centric everything is. A lot of the NZ peeps I follow I found by literally looking through the NZ, Aotearoa, Maori and Pasifika tags and following just based on that, cos there so little here about us.

Weapon of choice: fire. It’s already inside me.

Something not many people know about me: I can’t stand my Dad’s family? Idk no one on here really knew that anyway.

Favorite means of transport: I bus everywhere but I love long car trips with my mum playing my favorite CDs

Favourite story: the time I put a raisin up my nose and they had to use a dentists’ sucking tube thing to get it out.

Chicken or egg; I just have this feeling in my heart that it was the egg

Something that always makes you laugh: my self-deprecating humour??? Not always though

What is the strangest thing about you: maybe the raisin story? Or my hand problem but that’s more just a pain in the ass than strange.

EXTRA QUESTION cos I read it wrong the first time:

What is the strongest thing about you:

sense of justice. You can take away everything else about me and that will still be there, solid and burning.

You get to switch places with someone for a day. Who is it and why? Melania Trump. I’d set the White House on fire. With Donald Trump inside. (Hi FBI if you’re reading this, I will never actually do that. Just exaggerating for dramatic effect.)

Tag: @i-swear-i-m-trying @boogiesnikasnika @restlesskhaleesi @bpd-disaster @geoswalloon @the-moon-and-stars-my-love @tapakatonga @thereisnoneedtocallmesir GO!

I’m super keen to read all of yours and anyone else reading should consider themselves tagged and tag me in yours as well!

#personal #30 questions

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aparticularbandit · 4 years

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pulitzer, faulkner, dickinson, parchment please?

writer asks

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you fielt your writing was the best.

grind. other than the ending. and, like, i know most people don’t like it as much as my other stuff because emilio pov and whatever but i was and still am very happy with how it turned out. i don’t think the coffee/sex/etc. metaphors are super anvillicious (they’re not particularly subtle but like? i’m proud of them? they feel natural to the fic?) and i think it does what it was supposed to do and i actually like it. i was really proud of grind when i wrote it and i’m still proud of it.

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

i...don’t really think about tropes when i’m writing? and i don’t know the names for all of them. >woobie (LUISA FUCKING ALVER), knight in sour armor, determinator.

but story tropes....

trauma conga line.break the cutie.i did what i had to do and discussions around it.i love playing with sliding scales so sliding scale of idealism vs. cynicism is one of my particular favorites. ^^...i also guilty pleasure graphic descriptions of body gore and playing around with cannibalism BUT i don’t think that’s in most of my fanfics. might come up in a handful of dust. probably definitely would’ve come up if i’d done the multi-chap expansion of body, body like i thought about doing oops.bandit likes writing dark topics how did bandit end up writing a lot of romance.

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

i suck at writing comedy. i have a really hard time making my writing funny. my jokes don’t hit. when there are jokes. i’m just not good at it. (this is actually why i like ‘twas the night before Christmas so much - it actually makes me laugh.)

i’m also not great at having distinctive character voices in terms of dialogue. if i have two similar characters talking at each other with no description and no dialogue tags - petra and rose, maybe - you should be able to tell them apart just by wording and how they speak and etc. and with my writing, i really don’t think you can. i struggle with that a lot.

i’m not good at having my characters interacting with their surroundings. i’ve gotten better at it, but i have to actively fight to be conscious of it sometimes.

also trying to carry on conversations between three or more characters is really hard because inevitably i end up forgetting one or more characters being involved in the conversation. but i think that’s just something that needs practicing and there’s fics that help with that a little bit.

also also my characters do tend to all feel the same...or similar. (there’s a series i started that would have lampshaded that, actually, but that’s another story.) i tend to have a handful of character types/themes and then variations on those themes. how i write miss lint, for instance, feels a lot like how i used to write my very first original character. luisa’s a lot like ara (who is...another character i go back to over and over and over). rose takes some similarities from dana. like - i can follow that. idk.

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

i want to say not as much in fic as it does in novel stuff, but i don’t think that’s rightly true - it’s just...less blatant? XD

my stories throughout high school and college (...and middle school) were very much hugely influenced by my life because that was how i worked through different situations or quandaries i was facing. the book i consider my first novel was basically about a mixture of my ocd and my bpd - both of which were undiagnosed at the time - but in a fantastical sort of etc. setting. crossroads may be super meta but it was also kind of sort of an allegory in how creations relate to a creator (but gets complicated from there because, given that it was metafiction, i didn’t want it to be strict allegory because...obvious reasons, God is God and bandit is not, etc.). ara’s story was dealing with religious issues dealing with being gay (and also bury your gays trope...which is a combination of that and bandit just kills people in bandit’s stories - bandit used to be more whump inclined than romance inclined i blame the rpc and the roisa fandom).

i think it’s much less...like i said, much less blatant now than it was then. XD

there are still definitely aspects of myself in each of my characters - i think, for me, it would be impossible to write these characters if i didn’t connect with them personally in some form or fashion, even the despicable ones (i know this is not true of all writers, but it is true, to some extent, of me). some of them more than others (there’s a lot of me in my rose, and there’s a lot of me in my luisa, and there is significantly more of me in my miss lint, which is probably why i keep bringing her back).and there are definitely slightly more...relevant impacts - i was in iop when i started if you lived here, you’d be home now, which was definitely a huge part of wanting to write that part of luisa’s life. i’d gotten out of a huge explosive fight with my mom when i started and posted the first chapter of luisa and the fox.so, uh, tl;dr - often. frequently. a lot. just. a little more subtle now than it used to be. XD

#butimnotasexyrussian #meme response #bandit #bandit answers questions #THANKS FOR ASKING! :D

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holeybubushka · 7 years

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Get to know me thingie

Get To Know Me Tag Tagged by: @bpd-wonderland

Rules: tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better

Nicknames: I am notorious for giving nicknames to others but I actually don’t have any of my own. In real life people call me Tan (short for Tanya) but uh….that’s it? I tried to get people to bestow me with the name ‘tiny ball of awesome’ but for some reason that hasn’t taken off yet

Zodiac sign: Gemini on the cusp of Cancer

Height: 5'2″

Last thing you googled: Skins fan fiction recs. Not because I am in the Skins fandom anymore (I’m not) but because some of the best fic I have ever read are from there. I am currently writing a genre (for UD) I have never written before and I am drawing some inspiration from some stories I read a few years ago.

Favorite music artist: I kinda like songs not artists, that said, hayley kiyoko is amazing. I also like Shura quite a lot too.

Song stuck in your head: THIS IS EMBARRASSING. The other half and I were listening to the radio yesterday and this old 90s song called “Flaunt it” by TV ROCK ft Seany B came on and now I can’t get it out of my head. Kinda works with what I am writing though.

Last movie you watched: I am a tv over movies kinda gal. I watch a lot of tv and not a lot of movies. But the last film I watched was Moonlight which I enjoyed very much.

What are you wearing right now: My fluffy pjs. I have a couple of hours until work and since I live in the southern hemisphere it’s starting to get cold. So a jumper, fluffy flannel pants and fluffy socks are needed.

Why did you choose your URL:It’s a long and convoluted story. Uh. Basically back in the Cretaceous period when I was a highschooler I would walk past the most perfectly manicured shrub while I was going home. My friends and I were in a little bit of awe about how well maintained it was (we lived a pretty sheltered existence, ok). In fact we loved it so much we named it Bubushka. Of course you have that one friend who is a little shit who thought it would be a good idea one day to run and jump on Bubushka to make it….a little less well maintained. That friend was me. So I ran up and jumped on the shrub (or maybe it was a bush i dunno) and instead of bouncing off the top of it I fell straight through. So, uh, Bubushka had a hole. And thus holeybubushka was born.

Do you have any other blogs: Nope. I only started updating this one once I starting getting active in the UD fandom.

What did your last relationship teach you:The one I am currently in taught me to be more introspective, especially about my own feelings. And don’t hold a grudge otherwise you might miss out on something amazing. I guess the one before this one taught me the value of compromise.

Religious or Spiritual: I am agnostic and I grapple with this question a lot. Not sure where I stand quite yet.

Favorite color: Very dark red. Only cause it looks good on me. In terms of visuals I like dark blue.

Average hours of sleep:6-8. I can function pretty well if I get over 7 hours. If I get 4-6 I am basically a cranky zombie.

Lucky number: I don’t have one. I like the number 12 I guess.

Favorite characters: Everyone from UD except maybe Mike and Josh. Josh is mostly a fandom thing cause I hate how everyone gives him a pass for the horrible stuff he does but excoriate Ashley who behaves like a normal human being when confronted with trauma. Beth is my favourite gay little badass despite only being in the game for one hot second. Outside of UD I’ve always liked the goofy, funny characters so Xander from Buffy is possibly my all time favourite. I liked Shaw from Person of Interest and Omar from the Wire. I know she is kinda annoying but I have always felt protective of April from Greys Anatomy. Emily and Chris from Skins. Sansa from Game of Thrones. Probably others well that I am forgetting.

How many blankets do you sleep with: I like just sleeping with one giant doona in winter. Usually I sleep with one of two though since where I live it doesn’t actually get cold.

Dream job: Being an actual reporter getting to file stuff. Probably in radio. My current job is good and I’m in the industry which is great considering how many journos are out of a job but still. Gotta keep striving.

Tag 20 people? I don’t know that many I kinda stick to a small amount of people then bother them incessantly #cough# @cochisehartley @sammygiddings and @sammythepsycho. So I’ll tag my good buddy @gratuitousitalics , although I don’t think these types of questionnaires are her kinda jam. @mynxwrites is one of my earliest and favourite Sath writers. Also @distilledsarcasm and @makkapitew. Also also also @banhmiboy whose art I LOVE and who sometimes draws Sath, my favourite pairing. Although I want to hear from ANYONE who ships femmeslash in the UD fandom. We have to stick together, guys.

#now i've told you....now you know thatwasaskinsquote personal until dawn #until dawn

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