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witchofthesouls · 2 months

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You know the film Who Framed Rodger Rabbit where humans and Toons live there together?

Imagine the sheer chaos to occur if any Transformers iterations landed on that type of Earth. No one knows who the fuck these giant robots are as they definitely aren't Toons. Meanwhile the bots can't help but be confused by these strange creatures living alongside the organics.

The Toons however see both factions as perfect targets for mischief. Starscream crashing into a wall via a super realistic painting, poor Optimus getting flowers full of dynamite or Bumblebee having multiple 'Kick Me I'm Fake' signs plaster on his bumper by Toon cars. Megatron feels like they landed in a looney bin as he fails to intimidate the 50th cartoon rat on the ship.

This probably lead to kidnapping a human cause no one is making progress when they're constantly getting menaced by law defying entities.

Oh man, the childhood nostalgia is so real here 🤣🤣

Look, the Toons would break the Autobots and the Decepticons. Cybertronians are not strangers to special powers, but beings that regularly defy all sense of laws in such a blase, hilarious manner without one ounce of logic yet yield so much damage?

The factions' respective medbays will be constantly full of mecha with processor crashes and circuit burnout. Soundwave, Prowl, and Red Alert will have to be put into long-term stasis for their mental and emotional health.

You want peace? Or a long-term armistice? Send in Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck as Trojan Horses.

There is no escape from their antics. Those creatures are everywhere.

Land. Sea. Air. Fucking space in a random astro-suit.

(Mechs would be driven mad trying to find who the hell is Marvin the Martian in any database. Including the Galactic Alliance.)

Even Megatron will break.

He will become hollow mech, desperate for respite, and beg for mercy. A new phobia for the fear of the sound of carrots being crunched and chewed would be implemented in their disorders. As well as Daffy's crazed laughter once they can reliably track it.

But the biggest kicker? All the humans would just chuckle or outright laugh at their declarations. Aliens? Really? Are you sure? What's the gimmick?

Many humans shake their heads, elbowing people around them because there's a new joke going around. Apparently, the Toons caught into the mecha anime explosion, so now they have sentient Gundams walking around with an epic battle of good versus evil.

(Que some Americans shouting things in Japanese. Some want to improve or keep up their language skills. Others just want to be dicks. It would be funnier if humans had so much experience picking out the robots in disguise from the Toons' general mayhem and shenanigans.)

The Toons know that those are real aliens but are too delighted by the sheer potential chaos of having fresh meat, ahem, new neighbors.

#ask #crossover #transformers #who framed roger rabbit #looney tunes #bugs bunny #daffy duck #megatron #prowl #soundwave #red alert #maccadam #my thoughts #fic ideas #look the sheer chaos in this verse is absolutely frightening #Bugs Bunny is an amoral trickster god based on social bureaucracy #Daffy is just Insane in the Membrane

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iodotsys · 7 months

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TT u TT YOURS AND NANAS AU IS THE FIRST AU I AM EXCITED ABOUT IN YEARS!!!!!!!!!! Writers hate it when I ask but is it okay to say you when Nana and You will have more of it?

Okay, I'll be honest with you.

Same.

I don't think I've ever been this interested in one of my own stories in a very long time. Like Debugged was fine, the whole Dib being a burnout was fine.

But this stuff is my bread and butter, man. I love horror and gore and monsters and all that fun stuff. I love the ideas of Dib going full Resident Evil on the world.

We're hoping to have some type of tangible fanfic chapter by Halloween, probably in line with our tradition of making Halloween Zim stuff, like our comic last year. And I'll tell you what.

I can't wait.

#invader zim #dib membrane #insane in the membrane #gore #blood #dib is absolutely insane #i can't wait to write about him taking people apart <3 #this was just supposed to be a cool doodle page of various scenarios in membrane labs #but it ended up looking more like a promo poster

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honeymaki · 1 year

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You call Itto stupid, dumb, idiot, stinky boy; but he’ll still have your knees over his shoulders, cock bullying your cervix, cum spurting down over your ass, bottom lip wobbling, neck strained, claws digging rips into the pillows beside your head, grinding so deep so hard that you can’t really say much of anything anymore. Still an idiot for leaving you legless and shaking and crying and full of cum though.

#absolutely insane in the membrane tonight #I need him so bad it hurts #like teeth rotting fist clenching insane #sobbing crying in heat #🍡.het #🍡.nsfw #cw.breeding #cw.creampie #itto x reader #genshin impact smut

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dynamimight · 1 year

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there's no way youtube banned berleezy no fucking way bro

#absolutely ridonkulous behavior #absolutely insane in the membrane for me #how does one do that #and i just watched his new video yesterday 😭😭#berleezy #berleezy banned #youtube

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dentist-brainsurgeon · 8 months

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Me acting nonchalant when the War Thunder guy is shopping

#I've only had him in my line once and he's absolutely insane in the membrane. the racism runs deep #anyways this time he was going on about how the entirety of south America welcomed N@zi's with open arms #and things of that nature #I honestly can't tell if he's talking to someone on an earpiece. me. or the poor old guy he drags around #most sane war thunder player #oh and how he's related to Putin or something idk I shut my brain off until he left

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live-laugh-love-aziraphale · 1 year

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The fanfic: "For you darling? Anything."

Me, eating it the fuck up:

#im going absolutely feral #insane in the membrane #fanfiction #fanfic

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noramoons · 2 years

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tw vent!

got most of the emotions i think out of my system yesterday after i got home n just cried until my head hurt 👍 gonna try to not be anxious about things i can’t control but we shall see how that goes ig

#beck.txt #still can’t rlly look at skz w/o wanting to sob but! we’re getting there maybe #‘beck you’re just being dramatic’ you’re absolutely correct i am insane in the membrane #and i would like to hold on to the last clinging bits of hope i have left that they might actually postpone instead of canceling #but either way it really is out of my control and there is no point in borrowing trouble like my dearest great gma used to say

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blizzardfluffykpop · 1 year

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New Fic coming vv soon!

If you are looking for a motorcycle/carshow Hyungwon fic- you have came to the right place.

I am not kidding to you guys when I say I wrote a Hyungwon fic from 3pm this evening to 3am almost 4am today. Although I did take a collective of a four break. I am being absolutely honest when I say it is completely self-indulgent. I'll give you some foreground rn. I always go to a car show with my dad in the winter/spring part of the year. It's huge, well sometimes he'll start talking to someone and brain has always imagined what'd be like to be with a s/o. And I always told myself I'd write a fic- and I've been saying that since I was kid. And finally motorcycle Hyungwon has reached levels of brain rot that are unimaginable so I can write them down. If you are reading this Kebbi- you know how bad it is. I am not joking. So, I have one last read over tomorrow with a clear mind and I'll be ready to post it. (I'll prolly cue it for 10:00 Monday Morning est tbh!)

I just wanted to let you know that it has not let me rest. I literally incorporated so many parts/aspects of it that I could, it's insane. Although, I tried not to make it pertain to me and tried to make it like the average person's favorite cars. So, I didn't include any of my favorite cars (I'm not kidding when I say I've been going to this car show since I was in a stroller) (If you are wondering two of my favorites are the Galaxie 500 and the 65' fast back mustangs). So this is vv reader friendly just absolutely self-indulgent if that makes any sense!

And I know some may not be as knowledgeable in cars, so I really tried to make it simple! I will include a foreword. So, like certain things are explained! If any other terms need to be explained, please send me an ask or a message. (Because some things I don't think need an explanation- may need one!)

Lastly, if I'm not careful my brain will make me continue to write this until I'm no longer on brain rot- but on brain dead.

#new fic soon!#idk i felt like an update would be nice #i absolutely rambled on about it #i'm just thankful i was able to pull myself away to read and eat ngl-#i got to listen to some new songs too which was nice not relevant but i got to say it somewhere-#literally i've been pushing myself to write and just have had horrible writer's block- until it hit me over the head countlessly this morn #ing- it's a writer's possession- i'm telling you-#anyways look forward to monday!#because there is no way I'll get up early enough to have this posted for tomorrow- esp considering it's 4 am...#h.one puts me through horrible fits of brain rot- last time i wrote about him i stayed up all night ofc it was partly cause it was due the #next day here- but also because he doesn't let me rest until i finish writing about him 😭#i haven't written these many words in such a long time 😭#kate rambles #rambles #fic update #and if you made it this far you get to know it's 5.5k+ :) my brain is insane #insane in the membrane- what do we do we swim~ ha ha hahaha swim #sorry i lost it there for a good second #anyways good night have a good day- i'll see you all later-

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scientia-rex · 6 months

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Wound Care

Ok so, take this with a BIG grain of salt, because I may be a medical doctor BUT you need to know how much wound care training we get in medical school: none. Zip. Zilch. There may be medical schools where you do, but mine wasn't a bozo factory and there was NO wound care training. Everything I know I learned from one of several sources: an intensive 2-day wound care course I did in residency (highly recommend), the local Home Health wound care nurse (highly recommend), a completely batshit insane old white male doctor who started our learning sessions by yelling Vietnam War stories at me (do not recommend), a hospital wound care nurse (highly recommend), and experience (oh god do not recommend).

The first thing you need to know is that wound healing varies dramatically across the course of a lifespan. Kids? Kids will heal. If they don't, get their ass to a pediatrician because there's something genetic going on. Young adults will heal. Middle-aged adults will heal. You know who doesn't heal for shit? The elderly, and people with severe illnesses, and people with uncontrolled type II diabetes.

Your body needs several things in order to heal. It needs macronutrients, so you need to be able to EAT protein, fat, and carbs. If you are on total parenteral nutrition, aka TPN, aka IV nutrition, you are going to be worse at healing. If you are starving yourself, you are going to be worse at healing. If your body is desperately funneling all the calories you take in to surviving your COPD or cancer, you are going to be worse at healing.

It also needs micronutrients. If your diet sucks, you won't heal. Take a multivitamin once in a while.

There are two CRITICAL skin components to healing: collagen and elastin. Guess what we stop making as we age. Promoting collagen isn't just good for "anti-aging," it's good for NOT ripping your skin apart. Taking oral collagen is probably bullshit because your body is going to have to disassemble it to get it across the intestinal membranes to absorb, but it's also harmless, and if your diet REALLY sucks, who knows. Give it a try. Collagen is made of amino acids; think protein.

Another absolutely crucial component is blood flow. As people age, they start to develop cholesterol plaques lining arteries that eventually pick up calcium deposits. This makes blood vessels less elastic, which is a problem, but eventually also blocks them off, which is a much bigger problem. If someone has the major blood flow to their feet decreased by 90% by arterial stenosis, they are not going to heal for shit AND their foot's gonna hurt.

One component of blood flow I hadn't thought about before going into medicine is fluid retention. The way your body works, blood exits the heart at a very high velocity, but slows to a crawl by the time it gets into capillaries, the smallest blood vessels in the body. Water is a very small molecule and can leave the blood vessel, especially if there aren't big, negatively-charged molecules like proteins like albumin in the blood vessels to hold the water there. And we're built for this--some water is supposed to leak out of our blood vessels when it gets to real little vessels. It gets taken back up by the lymphatic system and eventually dumped back into the bloodstream at the inferior vena cava. But if you aren't making albumin--for instance, in liver failure--you may leak a LOT of fluid into the tissue, so much that your legs get swollen, tight, the skin feeling woody and strange. This isn't fixable by drainage because the fluid is everywhere, not in a single pocket we can drain. And because it puts so much pressure on the tissues of the skin, it often results in ulcers. Congestive heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure--these are all common causes of severe edema, aka swelling due to fluid in the tissues. And they're a real bitch when it comes to wound care, because we have such limited resources for getting the fluid back out, which is a necessary first step to healing.

Pressure is another common cause of wounds. Pressure forces blood out of those little capillaries, so you starve the cells normally fed by those capillaries, and they die. It's called pressure necrosis. Very sick people who can't turn themselves over--people in the ICU, people in nursing homes--are especially prone to these wounds, as are people with limited sensation; pressure wounds are common in wheelchair users who have lost some feeling in the parts of their bodies that rub against those surfaces, or diabetics who don't notice a rock in their shoe.

So, if you're trying to treat wounds, the questions to ask are these:

Why did this wound happen?

-Was it pressure? If it's pressure, you have to offload the source of the pressure or else that wound will not heal. End of story. You can put the tears of a unicorn on that thing, if you don't offload the pressure it won't heal.

-Was it fluid? If it's fluid, you have get the fluid out of the issues or else it won't heal. You can sometimes do that with diuretics, medications that cause the body to dump water through the kidneys, but that's always threading a needle because you have to get someone to a state where they still have juuuuust enough fluid inside their blood vessels to keep their organs happy, while maintaining a very slight state of dehydration so the blood vessels suck water back in from the tissues. You can use compression stockings to squeeze fluid back into the vessels, but if they have arterial insufficiency and not just venous insufficiency, you can accidentally then cause pressure injury. The safest option is using gravity: prop the feet up above the level of the heart, wherever the heart is at, at that moment, and gravity will pull fluid back down out of the legs. Super boring though. Patients hate it. Not as much as they hate compression stockings.

-Was it a skin tear because the skin is very fragile? This is extremely common in the elderly, because they're not making collagen and elastin, necessary to repairing skin. If this is the case, make sure they're actually getting enough nutrition--as people get into their 80s and 90s, their appetites often change and diminish, especially if they're struggling with dementia. And think about just wrapping them in bubble wrap. Remove things with sharp edges from their environments. I have seen the WORST skin tears from solid wood or metal furniture with sharp edges. Get rid of throw rugs and other tripping hazards. I had somebody last week who tried to a clear a baby gate and damn near destroyed their artificial hip.

The next critical question: why isn't it healing?

-Are you getting enough nutrients? Both macro and micro?

-Are you elderly?

-Are you ill?

-Do you have a genetic disorder of collagen formation?

Fix why it's not healing and almost anything will heal. If you're diabetic, find a medication regimen that improves your sugars and stick to it. If you're anorexic, get treatment for your eating disorder. If you have congestive heart failure, work with your doctor on your fluid balance. Wear the damn pressure stockings. Prop up your feet.

If, after those two unskippable questions are done, you want to do something to the wound--apply a dressing, do a treatment--that's a whole other kettle of fish. I'll write that later. The dryer just sang me its little song and I need to put away the laundry.

#the attending dr. kristophine #wound care

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passionesolja · 8 months

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Bitch I’m sorry but if I was eating putrid rats, regular rats, and bugs for 200 years straight I would be an absolute maniac. I would want to turn a mf inside out too like mf best believe i would a lunatic. Mf if I was a vampire and I had to drink rat blood once that would alter my brain chemistry and worldview and I would be insane in the membrane. 200 years. 365 days are in a year. 200 x 365 is 73,000 days. If you eating 3 bugs/rats a day, that’s 219,000 bugs/rats over a 200 year span. This man was the gods’ strongest soldier bc I couldn’t live like that

#bg3 #bg3 meta #baldur’s gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3

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fieldofdaisiies · 6 months

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hi hi!

your writing is amazing <3

could i request batboys headcannons, sfw and nsfw, where reader is an Illyrian and she has wings (and they're not clipped) please? thank you <33

aww thank you soo much, here you go❤️ NSFW content!!!

Azriel - SFW

Azriel will often absently brush his scarred fingers over your wings

he also helps you massage knots that have formed during flying

since you probably grew up in Windhaven where you weren't really allowed to fly, Azriel takes it upon him to teach you how to fly

he won't push you off a cliff....

but he will be soft and slow with you, rising into the air with you, helping you fly

later on he will put oil on your wings, massaging them

he also loves, absolutely adores kissing your wings - tiny soft pecs to the leathery membrane

Azriel - NSFW

him touching your wings while you touch his wings and you are riding him - yes, sir

he loves when you do it simultaneously, both taking care of the wings of the other

and he loves, obviously only if he has your consent, to wake up with teasing you by touching your wings, kissing them and licking over them

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★

Rhysand - SFW

Rhysand gets a large bed for you, so your wings never have to hang over the edges

he also owns a whole basket of a variety of products for your wings - oils, lotions, soft clothes

he loves washing your wings when you sit together in the bath

and later also tending to them

he will often massage the hard knots for hours, always careful to not touch the sensitive parts - you should find comfort and everything else would be out of place in this moment

just like Az, Rhys also really likes to place soft kisses to your wings

he also always reminds you how amazing the wings are, that you can be proud of being Illyrian despite everything they did

that you can be happy about your wings

and of course, he will remind you daily about how beautiful you are with your wings, how stunning you look

Rhysand - NSFW

Rhysand is a generous lover, alright, he loves making you come by simply touching your wings

he loves to do it soft and gentle, just to ease your mind and body

but he also loves to tease you, accidentally touching them

while he is not so keen on doing it simultaneously, he loves it when tends to your wings first, sometimes in the bathtub, sometimes in bed and then you switch positions and you take care of him

he loves the noises you make when he touches your wings, the soft whimpers and moans are like music in his ears

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★

Cassian - SFW

Cassian will love hardly anything as much as going flying with you

he adores flying and sharing it with you is absolute perfection

he will often nudge you with his wing while flying

and when you return he will always tend to them, easing the knots, helping you wash, putting lotion on them

he always checks on your wings, always making sure nothing hurts, nothing is twisted

he also always reminds you that you are allowed to be proud of them and that you don't have to feel bad about you still having them while others got them clipped "it is not your fault," he will tell you while massaging your wings

Cassian loves drawing small patterns or circles onto the leathery membrane and making you guess what he is drawing

Cassian - NSFW

him touching your wings, while you suck him off?

well yes

he loves it

and just like Azriel, he also loves it when you touch each other's wings simultaneously

Cassian can also easily make you come by touching your wings, kissing them or licking over them

he somehow is a natural at it, and it drives you nearly insane

#azriel x reader #cassian x reader #rhysand x reader #acotar x reader #acotar headanons #azriel headcanons #rhysand headcanons #cassian headcanons #bat boys

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silverzoomies · 10 months

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Polaroid

peter maximoff x reader smut

warnings: solo masturbation. that's pretty much it, sorry

word count: 2,625

a/n: i wrote about him jerking off again. whoops. i've been absent for a week. but i'll be home tomorrow !! and hopefully i can get back into the flow of writing. until then, here's this rushed, unpolished thing i wrote on a whim !! it's super clunky and i'm so sorry lol !!

edit: made some minor changes to this. fixed some things that felt off, but overall it's still the same idea.

taglist: @dewberryobssesed @violetharmonscupcake @kaismanwich @jellyluvr @icannot3 @taintandviolent @ahoyladiesz (as usual, ask to be added !!)

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Home alone, at long last. Helllllllz to the yeah. Down in the heart of his (mom’s) basement, Peter lies lazily on his back in bed. Today, it's one of those slow, hot afternoons midway through summer. Sunny, with a slight overcast. Peter hasn’t been outside to see it for himself. But he heard some guy on the radio call it “totally tubular” weather for a day at the beach.

He almost wishes he’d take a two second run to the Bahamas, or somewhere else. Peter could kick it back on a towel and watch babes in bikinis walk by. Maybe he could even stir up some trouble in the sand. Like he used to do, way back in his childhood. Just for some extra mayhem.

Alas. Today, Peter feels lazier than lazy. He’s found a new name for himself in Lazyville. As the leading candidate in the office of laziness. Speeding all around the globe for the umpteenth time this week sounds like too much work. Even a super powered mutant, living life in the fast lane, has his off days sometimes. What’s one break, eh? Breathing a sigh, he stares up at the ceiling. Earphones rest over his ears. Peter listens to a melodious tune by Jefferson Starship. Over his belly, he twirls his thumbs, bobbing his head along with his jams. Chillaxin’ and relaxin’ as one should on his day off. Hm.

Except, Peter’s kind of antsy. No one’s home at the moment. He has all this free time to do whatever he wants, in the privacy of said home. With not a soul around to judge him, or even bug him. And listen. It’s been centuries since he got off. Which may or may not be a slight exaggeration.

But wouldn’t you believe it? Despite his uniquely handsome features and outrageously fit bod; Peter has absolutely no game whatsoever. Crazy, right? Who woulda thought it? The dude who locked himself away in his (mom’s) basement for a good ten years. He’s awkward as hell? Say it ain’t so! Whoa!! Insane in the membrane!!!

Not to mention, it might as well have been a geological age since he got laid. Whatever. Who needs the companionship of someone else to have a totally righteous time, huh? Haha…

Ahem.

Today, Peter dubs himself the crowned king of slacking off and jacking off.

Pulling his earphones down to rest around his neck, his fingers move to find his jeans. He teases himself for a beat or two, his palm rubbing over the denim. Another beat, and his cock is freed from the tight, restrictive material. Peter makes a mental note: He might need to invest in looser pants. This pair is rough and uncomfortable around his legs, so he shoves them all the way down to his ankles with virtually no shame.

What does it matter anyway? For the time being, he’s free. At least until his mom gets back, that is. He should really stop thinkin’ about that. Every time Peter remembers - oh, yeah - he’s a grown ass man still living at his mom’s place; it kinda wrecks the vibe. Makes the mood crash and burn. Total boner killer. And he’s not even hard yet.

His half-hard cock rests limply over a curly patch of silver hairs. Peter would never admit it to anyone, but he’s always been self conscious of his hair situation. Some chick back in high school - he can’t even remember her name - said his silvery bush “looked really weird.” Like the pubes of some geriatric.

Peter can barely picture her face at this point. But the sound of her giggling at his expense is, unfortunately, locked away in his brain forever. Another embarrassing memory to withstand the test of time. Probably until he dies, or becomes a geriatric himself.

What was he doing again? Oh. Right.

Peter gives his dick a firm squeeze, like he’s checking to make sure it’s still there. Before taking the semi-hard length into his hand. Slowly, he strokes himself to hardness. Breathing a relieved sigh, Peter settles into the groovy-patterned sheets of his bed. The smooth tip of his cock inches through his closed fist with every stroke. As his frustration blossoms, his length throbs with an intense longing for something more.

Thick veins pulsate under his hand. Sparkling beads of precum leak from his tip. He coats the head in a generous glaze of slickness, eliciting a hushed noise from the depths of his throat. Keeping himself as quiet as humanly possible is basically a instinctive response. But he doesn’t have to hold himself back right now, does he?

Sweet. Peter’s gonna be as loud and obnoxious as he wants.

Pumping his cock a bit faster, he momentarily stops to fondle his balls. They rest heavy in his palm, smooth to the touch and loose between his fingers. After teasing himself impatiently, Peter redirects his attention to his twitching length. Aching for more stimulation. He jerks off with a pleasurable rhythm. Subconsciously following the beat that resonates from his earphones, his strokes fall into a more consistent pace. He leans further back in bed, letting his lips part. His nerves tingle. And as he revels in the sensation, he loudly moans. Letting the noise rip through the silence of his ( mom’s ) basement.

Said basement has now become more stifling. Kudos to the summertime heat for that one. Peter’s Conan the Barbarian T-Shirt - now damp with his sweat - feels like too much of a hindrance. He pulls the fabric up, letting his upper half breath. With his shirt clamped between his teeth, Peter leaves his body exposed. A sheen of sweat coats his abs, and his pecs raise with each labored breath he takes.

He takes a half second to admire his own physique. Honestly? No bullshit? His body looks pretty damn amazing. If only there were someone around to appreciate how naturally jacked he is. It’s a hell of a tragedy, really. All this smokin’ hot, speedster bod goin’ to waste. Tsk tsk tsk.

Who was he even kidding? Why would anyone wanna waste their time messin’ around with a total shut-in like him?

Dammit. Now's not the time for some hateful, self-ribbing. He should distract himself with something. Something like-

Using the gift of his mutation, Peter increases his speed by a few notches. His fist squeezes tightly around his length, stroking his cock even faster. He groans into his shirt, knitting his brows as arousal washes through his groin in waves. It feels good. Really fucking good.

But it’s not enough. He wants to utilize this free time as much as he can. It’s the perfect opportunity to get even more frisky than he usually would. Peter bolts around the basement, searching for a few hidden…uh…treasures, we’ll call them. In a blink, he reappears on his bed, leaving his overly tight jeans and boxers discarded on the floor.

Lying next to Peter over the wrinkled blankets, rest a bottle of lube - the tingly kind, a stroker toy - clear, with literal, silver lining, and a polaroid photo. The toy hasn’t been used in eons, but its quality is still up to par. Peter made sure to clean it the instant he found it again. And the photo, well…

It’s his own, filthy secret.

A low-res, high flash picture taken of you at last year’s, X-mansion, Halloween party. Whoa, mama. You were scantily clad in the most outrageously suggestive Indiana Jones costume Peter ever saw. Back at the party, you even tipped your hat and cracked the whip a couple of times. Which may or may not have awakened something in him. But that’s beside the point.

You were so tipsy that night. Way more flirtatious than you naturally would be any other day. Peter remembers you pressing your body against his, hanging over him all night like a sexy sack of potatoes. He sat next to you on the couch. With a cheesy grin on his face, he watched your every move. The tiny shorts you were wearing kept riding up your thighs. It was obvious you were braless under a tight, cropped, button-up shirt. Leaving so little to the imagination.

Point blank, it was fucking awesome.

You crossed your smooth legs. One over the other. And you leaned in to whisper something hot in Peter’s ear.

“Take a picture with meeeee, Quickie, I wanna remember this moment forrrever and everrrr.” You pleaded, your breath tickling the skin of his neck.

What followed, he hadn’t seen coming. As someone - it’s all a blur, Peter can’t remember who - snapped the photo, you pressed your glossy lips to his cheek. Your giggles were so coquettish and teasing, he felt shivers race through his body at mach speed.

“I’m, like, sooooooooo scared of snakes. Geddit? ‘Cuz I’m Indiana? But your snake doesn’t scare me. Can I pet it, pllllleeeassse?” You giggled again with a little whine.

Making an abrupt move, you reached for Peter’s crotch in front of everybody. After zipping away to grab you a solo cup full of water and some bread, Peter snatched the photo from whoever. And he bolted home in a fit of shameful embarrassment.

In retrospect, you weren’t just tipsy. You were majorly smashed. You didn’t remember a single minute of it. Figures. He’s not too surprised you wouldn’t remember flirting with him.

Peter sighs, blinking himself out of the memory. Eager to continue his once-in-a-silver-moon, jerkin’ session. He squeezes a fair amount of lube into his palm, wrapping his large hand tightly around his cock. Over every inch of his aching length, he spreads the slick substance. Tingles sparkle like stars across the hot, velvet skin of his cock. Wet noises echo lewdly through the basement, as Peter pumps his leaking dick fast and hard.

Clenching his shirt between his teeth, Peter tilts his head back. A loud, seething moan slips from his lips, slightly muffled. He pauses again, grabbing the stroker and guiding its smooth slit over the swollen head of his cock.

“MMmmmnnn~!” Peter hums a steady moan, exhaling through his nose.

The inside of the toy feels nothing even remotely close to the real thing. Kind of a bummer. But the tunnel’s soft, bumpy ridges are still a double A plus. A little too good sometimes, actually. The toy slides down Peter’s cock as he pushes his entire length through. It’s a tight fit around him. Tighter than it should be. Which is doing wonders for his confidence. Maybe he should be more proud of his size.

He’s above average enough, the small toy can’t contain the length of him entirely. His weeping tip peeks out the other side of the stroker, prodding through with every pump. Peter breathes another, shuddering moan. His brows crease in pleasure. Pumping his cock with the squishy toy, he whines in desperation. Forcing his thick length through the toy’s tight grip, slick with lube and smooth as silk. The ridges inside tickle and massage his cock, stimulating his buzzing nerves.

The muscles in his groin tighten, stiffening his legs. Shoving his cock rapidly through the ribbed tunnel of the toy, he groans louder. Letting his needy noises slip as they please. Fuck it. No restraint. Indulging himself further in his degeneracies, Peter keeps your photo close by. He shoots a glance at it, admiring your soft thighs and amazing cleavage.

He daydreams about you. Imagining the way you’d feel around him, squeezing him so much tighter than any toy. You’d be needy and wet for him too, making it so easy for Peter to bury himself balls deep inside you.

Peter thinks about the way your titties would look, bouncing with each thrust of his hips against you. Would your nipples peak, stiffening under his fingers? How would you react if he had a little fun, and teased you with a superspeed buzz? Would you even like that? Would you think that kinda thing was weird?

He really does want you sooooo bad. But you have absolutely zero idea. Peter knows he’d treat you right if you let him. If you ever gave him the time of day outside of missions, he’d take you on the wildest ride you ever strapped yourself into.

Clenching his teeth hard into his shirt, he wraps both hands tightly around the stroker. Peter leans as far back as he can, bracing his feet flat on the bed. The blankets curl under his toes, as he lifts his hips. Driving his cock through the slick, textured toy and fucking it hard.

“Nnghh…fuuuuck. Fuck.” He groans, voice catching under fabric.

His breaths quicken, and his moans morph into desperate whimpers. Peter aches for your heat, and the closeness of your body. Your gentle touch. Your sweet voice and little whines. He knows, without a doubt, you’d feel beyond amazing. And you’d probably taste so sublime.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Peter whimpers into his shirt. Saliva seeps through the fabric, melting off his tongue and dribbling down his chin. His cheeks burn hotter, turning a brighter shade of crimson.

“Mmmmmfuckyeah-” Peter moans, followed by a muffled mumble of your name.

He fucks his cock through the toy at rapid, superspeed. Lifting his hips off the bed as if roughly drilling into your tight heat. Peter’s cock throbs as powerful surges of electricity erupt in the pit of his belly. Glossy, white streaks of cum spill from his tip, flooding over the toy. Dripping down the squishy sides of it. His cum stuffs the inside full, coating his dick in its stickiness. Peter thrusts his cock fast enough to appear a blur, until he’s completely spent.

Lying in a sweaty heap over his blankets, Peter pants easy breaths. Tousled, silver hair rests messily over his head. He pulls the stroker from his cock, and slick cum trails after it. Wet and thick against his softening dick. He throws his head back into the bed, taking a moment to compose himself.

It’s really crazy that he’s thinkin’ about you like this, isn’t it? He’s honestly really embarrassed by it. Peter grabs the polaroid and stares at it longingly, unable to suppress the grin pressing into his dimple. Damn. He just can’t help himself. No matter what, he’s kinda ride or die for you.

If only he had the balls to tell you up front.

Peter gazes at the photo for a few seconds too long. Lost in the sight of your sexy body again. You’re such a goddamn knockout. He guides his attention to his dick to find…he’s rock hard again? Seriously? Dropping his head onto the bed, Peter groans with agonizing frustration. He just can’t catch a break, can he? Why’s he always gotta be so antsy, so on edge, or so horny all the time??

A faint sound, like creaking wood, graces his ears. Peter tilts his head up instantly.

Only to be greeted by none other than the unexpected sight of you.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck-

You’re standing in his ( mom’s ) basement with your mouth agape. A faint indication of blush paints your cheeks, though he can barely see it. Peter should be moving. He should do what a speedster naturally would do in this kinda situation: Clean up and dress himself in less than a blink’s time. Just to play innocent afterwards. Maybe he could gaslight you into thinking you didn’t watch him get his rocks off.

But he’s stunned to the point of being frozen. Neither of you make a single move. Except for Peter’s dick. It twitches subconsciously in his lap, catching your attention. And your eyes widen further.

He really should’ve gone to the Bahamas. Peter’s betting those beaches are seriously bangin’ at this time of year.

#peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff x y/n #smut

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