#actually in pain

[siriuslygay1981]

Top three ways you know I needed to be asleep hours ago! (Read: days)

1. Hallucinating!! So fun, always a pleasure to freak out.

2. Writing/words not making sense when written or said. Lots and lots and lots of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Always nice to decipher what I wrote later in the day.

3. Headache. Ouch go away

#can u tell i havent slept #its time for sleepy sleep #ik its 5am what abt it #actually this has been all week #wakey wake 2-6 pm #sleepy sleep 5-11 am #guess who went to bed at 11 am yesterday #thats right me #actually in pain #goodnight my sweet babys #also i gad to write book idea down and then i saw a quiz abt neurodivergent thing #had to do all that #and i got distracted by reels #stared at my ceiling for two hours tryna sleep but i couldnt stop thinking abt smthn #had to research #also yes i stayed up for two or three days and then slept for three days straight #so it actually cancels out

[am-vents-to-the-world]

(Tw for bathroom talk, bleeding mention, stool mention!)

My family humiliates me every time I need to use the bathroom for longer than 5 minutes. I have to sit in my room and wait for everyone to finish just so I can have that extra 5 minutes to at least not explode.

They aren't aware nor do they want to be.

They don't care that I sit in my room shaking from pain, having accidents, bleeding ect.

Nah, they just want whatever to do and not care about me because why the fuck would they care about someone as pathetic as me, right?

Literally so tired of them and I can't wait to leave them. I will only contact them about once or twice a month once I leave.

-Amber (any pronouns)

#flyabovebutterfly #disability #disabled #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic pain #tw blood #tw bleeding #tw stool mention #stool mention #stomach issues #bathroom talk tw #pain #actually in pain #incontinence

[itgetsdark-x]

So deep into the Steve Harrington / Joe Keery / Djo obsession atm it’s physically painful.

#bruh wtf #he’s so fine #actually in pain #steve baby #steve harrington #joe keery #joe #djo #steve is baby girl #dead #sobbing #is so hot

[tteokdoroki]

spent the last 4 hours taking out my braids… craving death

#ACTUALLY IN PAIN #🗑. aali’s chatroom

[tinyhawks]

dabi and hawks

#actually in pain #i can't do this

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Shout out to the ten year old who just got diagnosed. Shout out to the housebound fourteen year old. Shout out to the eighteen year old who can’t go to the university they wanted. Shout out to the twenty two year old who can’t get a job. Shout out to the twenty six year old with a caretaker. Shout out to the thirty year old who can’t buy their own house.

Shout out to young disabled people. We exist.

#disability #actually disabled #young disabled #wheelchair user #cane user #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #functional neurological disorder #cripplepunk

[vtk13]

“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child

#chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic pain #actually chronically ill #pots #pots syndrome #dysautonomia #fibromyalgia #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #supraventricular tachycardia

[something-existing-somewhere]

Sorry I Spent all mY spoons this week already and it's fucking Tuesday. We're heading to the knives

#actually spoonie #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #actually mentally ill #chronic illness #aroace agender #spoonie #chronic fatigue #disability #actually disabled #chronic disability #spoon theory

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

#camera talks #disability stuff #this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3 #i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually #this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho) #chronic pain #chronic migraine #migraines #chronically ill #disabled

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[hellyeahsickaf]

I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

#signal boost #please reblog #chronic pain #chronic illness #disability #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #actually disabled #spoonie #me/cfs #cfs/me #long covid #important #invisible disability #ehlers danlos syndrome #lyme disease #chronically ill #cpunk #cripplepunk

[a-sassy-bench]

do able-bodied people not understand that if disabled people call out of work every time they don't feel good that we would call out of work every fucking day?

like honestly. what do you think being disabled means?

#if one more person tells me to take a sick day i'm going to throw something at them #i just honestly cannot anymore #disabilties #disabled #actually disabled #epilepsy #ehlers danlos syndrome #physical disability #neurological disability #actually epileptic #zebra #chronically ill #chronic illness #spoonie #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #c punk #crip punk #cripple punk

[cr-pplepunx]

if youre considering using a mobility aid, youre probably thinking about getting a cane. even if it seems like youre issues arent bad enough, you should probably still consider other mobility aids. please look into the pros and cons of several different mobility aids, especially in conjunction with your specific disability/diagnosis/needs.

i got a cane at first because i thought my issues were "mild" and therefore i needed a "mild" mobility aid. but canes are moreso for stability than support. i damaged my wrist and worsened my scoliosis by deciding to use a cane without an educated opinion.

i now use forearm crutches primarily, a rollator for longer outings, and a wheelchair for worse days and longer events. dont make the same mistake as 16-year-old me. dont choose your mobility aid based on palatability, consider your needs and address your internalized ableism if need be.

#cripplepunk #mobility aid user #cane user #crutch user #mobility aids #rollator user #wheelchair user #ambulatory wheelchair user #physically disabled #actually disabled #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #spoonie #:P

[cosmiccripple]

idk who popularised the narrative "i don't let my disability stop me" but it needs to be stomped on, pulverised by a meat grinder and then thrown into the depths of the sea never to be seen again.

it is by far the most popular ableist narrative and i see it so much and immediately just think i'm a bad person for not being able to 'get over' my disability despite the fact it's an incurable, permanent and severely disabling disability.

stop stop stop stop pushing the mindset that people have to persevere despite their disabilities in order to be a worthy person

leave me alone and let me be disabled in peace

#physical disability #actually disabled #disability #invisible disability #physically disabled #chronic disability #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic pain #crip punk #cpunk #c punk #cripplepunk #cripple punk #angry cripple #cripple #multiply disabled #disabled #disabilities #ableist bullshit #ableism

[anxious-and-in-pain]

it’s okay to do things that make your symptoms worse (as long as you’ll stay safe)

every once in a while you need to eat something yummy. or go on a walk. or a trip to the zoo. take a hot shower. cry your eyes out. dance. listen to music. draw for way to long. write. laugh. sit in a cafe with a friend. paint your nails. dye your hair. go on a run. pet a cat

sometimes you need to do things that are cathartic or make yourself feel alive. sometimes you need the reminder of why you’re fighting so hard to stay alive

this is your reminder that just because it makes your symptoms worse, it isn’t always the wrong thing to do. there can be value in these actions

#chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #spoonie #fibro #ibd #central sensitization #disabled #myposts #chronic fatigue #cat #disability #chronic fatigue syndrome #actually chronically ill #cfs #cfs/me #food mention