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#after the abuse
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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kitocrystal · 23 days
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just posting it like this bc Im way too lazy to copy it all down on here
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ghostbsuter · 5 months
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"I did not think I'd ever use it like this," the boy muttered next to batman.
It was comically, with the police and ambulance lighting up the entire area.
Danny, being himself, had gotten curious and accidentally busted a human trafficking ring, which ended up with batman and his kids (?) doing the fighting and the police being called.
"Son, solving crime doesn't mean you didn't trespass and break into someone's property, I will have to take you back to the station—"
"I have diplomatic immunity."
Officer Gordon stood still for a moment, progressing.
"You can't really, err— put me to prison." The boy took his phone out, stopped at a picture, and showed it to the officer and batman.
The vigilante confirmed his identity with a jerky nod, and Gordon is pinching his brows.
"Son– no offence your... majesty, why are you in Gotham of all places?"
The boy now identified as Daniel Phantom, prince of the other and currently the reigning monarch of another realm.
In gotham.
"Okay, so," Danny coughs, embarrassed. "I'm on university search and gotham had this really cool space science programm. I really wanted to see it."
(Once they checked his papers and got his statement, did they let him leave to his hotel + some of his squad going along for protection measure.
Gordon heaved a sigh, "We can be glad it wasn't the joker. That would have made headlines." and slumb in his seat.
Batman grunts, a sound the officer knows too well.
"You're gonna look out for the kid?"
Another grunt.
"Good, because Gotham help us all if that kid gets hurt.")
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as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."
and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.
does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?
Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,
you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.
you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.
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greelin · 1 year
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“why’s this traumatized character acting so traumatized” Do you listen to yourselves. ever
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shittyutmv · 6 months
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missed u sm can we see a shitty umtv screenshot redraw for the special occasion
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i SWEAR i didnt know you also redrew this Exact frame too. Objectively the funniest screencap
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Sorry to hear about the divorce. Again ink belongs to comyet cross belongs to jakei geno and after belong to loverofpiggies
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artilite · 1 month
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star sailor 🎇
this was drawn a little over 2 weeks ago as i was in the middle of act 2! it's kind of funny in retrospect hahaha i put the star shaped light on sif as a nod to my vague theory that sif had a star for a heart/soul but lost it. Well it wasn't quite right but there was one line of dialogue going towards that direction? a win is a win
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unsanctitude · 2 months
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tried to make a new elf to introduce to the abysmal ecosystem here. brought to you by Women who stare at thiings
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cuubism · 2 months
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i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is
cw injury, referenced abusive relationships
--
Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.
Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.
But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.
"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."
Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.
"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."
Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.
"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.
"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.
Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"
Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.
He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"
Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.
"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.
"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."
He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.
Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.
(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)
"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"
Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"
"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."
Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.
"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."
Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.
Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.
"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.
Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.
Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."
"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.
"As you insist," Dream says.
Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.
"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."
Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.
Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."
"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.
"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."
Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.
"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."
Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.
"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."
He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.
Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."
Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.
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onefey · 1 year
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So, You're The Bad Parent Of A Rival In A Mainline Pokémon Game...
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wizard-finix · 2 months
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LU Star Wars AU: Part 5
LAST BUT NOT LEAST ITS TIME AND SKY LETS GO
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4
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Time
Time is a direct survivor of Order 66. He was a child living in one of the more remote temples when everything happened, and was able to escape alive by fleeing into the dense forests of the planet.
Time spent many years after that traveling on his own and not getting close to anyone out of fear of being found out, or worse, left behind. He holds a certain bitterness towards everything that's happened, and when he was a teenager, he was involved in a major incident on the planet Termina. Time finally decided to bury his saber on a remote planet after that, unwilling to take on the responsibility that comes with it.
Time actually ended up meeting Sheik and donning Mandalorian armor some time after that in his teenage years. He doesnt always gel with Mandalorian warrior ideaology, but he doesn’t truly fit the Jedi way of his childhood anymore either, after all the war and death he’s seen. He's determined to be strong enough to protect those he cares about, like Malon.
Time doesn't entirely get along with the Chain at first. (Especially Warriors and Twilight; Warriors reminds him of his old Jedi master, who wore a red scarf, and Twilight's saber looks suspiciously familiar.) The boys eventually grew on him anyway, and he counts them among the people he cares about.
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Sky
Sky comes from a gaseous planet in the Outer Rim with settlements that float in the clouds, constructed far above its surface.
Sky's planet is a bit of a cosmic mystery, since it should be impossible for islands of solid rock to float; some theorize that it was constructed instead of naturally occurring, or that there is a unique combination of magnetic fields and orbits that make it possible, but no one knows for certain. Loftwings are part of the planet's ecosystem of impossible floating islands, and are an important part of the culture there.
Being so remote, the Empire didn't show much interest in Sky's home planet until Ghirahim showed up. The Empire hasn’t taken over his home yet, and he is determined to keep it that way, along with the rest of the Knights of Skyloft (including Sun). Ghirahim's interest in the planet involved rumors that there was an old Jedi temple hidden on its surface, and the secrets that were hidden within it.
Those rumors turned out to be true; there was an ancient abandoned temple on one of the floating islands, and Sky and Sun ended up discovering it before Ghirahim did. Sky also found a protocol droid named F1, and with Fi's help he and Sun managed to forge their own sabers with the only remaining kyber crystals there.
Sky's connection to the Force manifests mostly as visions, and he occasionally experiences strange, cryptic dreams as a result.
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Linked Universe AU belongs to @ linkeduniverse!
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krasnyel · 1 year
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the weak dogs
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clownsuu · 11 months
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I get Dusty listening to Wally and Howdy, but why would he listen to Frank? Are the two friends in the Mob AU or something?
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Frank is the manager, of course he would have rights to use money from the vaults (however him and Howdy have a strict amount they can borrow at a time. Anything higher than 500k would need to get explicit permission from Wally first)
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most of the lil dust sprites/bunnies do the little work, Dusty is typically on the side taking a nap or somethin on the floor, doin whatever dust does
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 3 months
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We've seen DP and DC be different universes where Danny and Valerie are the only heroes in DP, but there are thousands of heroes in DC. We've seen where DP and DC are in the same universe, and Amity Park just thinks the Justice League are ignoring them.
But what if DP and DC are different universes, BUT Danny and Val aren't the only heroes?
If we treat superheroes as basically cops/military with superpowers, then we can infer what heroes would be like using cop/military statistics. You could even use My Hero Academia society as a basis. Things like "heroes are more interested in protecting private property than serving the public" and "Heroes have high levels of PTSD and physical disability and aren't helped after they retire" are common knowledge in Danny's universe.
And specifically, the one I wanted to make clear for this prompt: In Danny's universe, heroes are highly likely to abuse their family/sidekicks outside the mask.
Suddenly, Danny's in the DC universe. For a low-stakes reason; if he's there because the DP universe imploded or his parents tried to kill him, he'd be too concerned about himself to act on his instincts. No, Danny's there for a vacation and there are so many heroes and kid heroes that he feels sick.
Maybe he catches Batman being rough with his kids, or overhears Superman "belittling" Superboy (Conner). Nevertheless...
Danny ends up thinking that all the Justice League are abusing their sidekicks and families and becomes a villain to save them.
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greekcomedy · 4 months
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mr d is very funny in the show However. his first conversation with percy also just highlights how they've messed with the smelly gabe storyline in a way that is making me very nervous.
when percy met him in the lighting thief he immediately identified him as drunk adult = dangerous. a guy who would be sitting at gabe's poker game, saying nothing as percy is belittled and gabe demands his money. whether or not mr d would actually do that is irrelevant. it shows how percy is affected by gabe, that he hates him to the point that he would try to join the army or be homeless in new york before living alone with him after he thought his mom was dead. book percy would have had the joke conversation about dionysus being his dad and felt insanely betrayed that the kind sailor from sally's stories that he dreamed about had turned out to be someone just like smelly gabe.
but instead, gabe is just some guy. like he sucks but not to an extent that would drive them to kill him by the end of the season, at least not from what we've seen so far. talking to dionysus percy is just angry and confused about what's going on and upset by the loss of his mom, dionysus does not concern him at all. he is not especially upset by the idea of mr d being his dad except for his having ignored him up to this point.
like, the show is being kind of weird imo in terms of how the characters are reacting to the things that happen to them and having them react differently than they do in the books. and also we aren't in percy's head now the way we were in the books, and he often had very different internal vs external reactions to things in the books and i'm sure this would have been among them. but "can you help me find my father?" "actually i think i can... son. go get me a bottle of wine" would NOT have flown in tlt
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slicedblackolives · 1 year
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capitalistic individualism has rotted yall's brains
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