#all i got left is my bones

[sunshinediaz]

i’ll bandage up your body and your bones and your bad days too | 5.6k, teen

fill for @badthingshappenbingo—kick them while they are down

“Hey, pretty boy,” he says, softly, and reaches in to wipe off a stray tear and drip of snot.  Eddie rolls his eyes and laughs, thick and nasty, because he knows he’s not pretty right now, red-faced and wild-eyed and wet with tears, wet with snot and spit and sweat and all sorts of other things, but Buck really, truly, thinks so. He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t.  “Hi.”  Buck’s smile widens. “Wanna scoot over and let me in?” he asks, ducking down so he can meet Eddie’s eyes. Eddie nods and scrambles to move, sliding over just enough for Buck to squeeze in and then slumping against his wide chest. Buck shuts the door, wraps his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, and kisses his forehead. He smells like smoke and Hen’s fruity lotion. “You’re burning up, baby.”  Eddie nods, hiccups, and says nothing.  Buck brings his other arm around to hold Eddie closer, tighter. “You said you were feeling better,” he says, whispery-soft, as he combs Eddie’s damp hair off his forehead. “Why’d you lie to me?”  “I didn’t want you to worry.”  “Why do you think I’d worry?”  “‘Cause I’m having a bad day,” Eddie answers, shrugging, and nestles in further, like he can crawl inside Buck’s body and spread himself out along Buck’s bones, where he’s warm and wet and welcome, forever and always. “‘Cause I have a cold and everything hurts and nothing feels good except—except this. Except you.”  The tension in Eddie’s body sweeps out as quick as it came, leaving him boneless and unsecured and held in Buck’s arms, against Buck’s big chest and even bigger heart where he belongs, where he was born to be. It’s the one place that’s his and nobody else’s, ever again.  A tear falls, hot like fire, and he snuffles, wiping his face across Buck’s t-shirt.

read the rest on ao3

#this thing got away from me and it's all because the temps dropped low in oklahoma from 2 days straight of #stupid rain that flooded a few roads and left my feet wet and my bones cold #and all i wanted was hot chocolate and warm fuzzy socks AND ALL I GOT WAS A STUFFY NOSE AND AN EAR ACHE #anyway #buddie #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 #911 fic #badthingshappenbingo #bthb fics #my fics

[petricorah]

humble offer of an au instead of (a continuation of) divorced zukka

Zuko fakes his death:

Someone's been trying to assassinate him. It's long after Sokka leaves, and they aren't together. Maybe they had something once, and Sokka always thought they'd end up together, but they aren't together. And he hears word of the fire lord's death all the way back in the water tribe. How there was nothing the Kyoshi Warriors or the palace guard could do, and he was killed.

There are no remains.

He goes to the funeral, and it's this big dramatic ordeal (because they're trying to really hammer in that he's "dead") and Sokka's a mess. A complete and utter mess. He can barely function, and he's angry, especially at Suki, because he doesn't understand how she isn't more upset (she knows Zuko's still alive. She tries to talk to him, but he pushes her away, and they're never able to talk in a private place.) But more than that, he's angry with himself. Because if he hadn't left, he could have saved him. He could have been there. He thought they had a future together, that they couldn't be together now, but someday they would, and that all goes up in smoke.

And then Zuko's alive. They were able to apprehend the mastermind with the guise, and Sokka should be happy, but all he feels is emotions he can't understand. He feels betrayed.

"You were in the water tribe," Zuko said. "I couldn't tell you--"

"You died. You were dead. I-I went to your funeral, I mourned you."

And he wants to be angry, he wants to hit him, to make him feel a fraction of the pain he felt, but he can't hurt him, not ever, and the only thing he can do is crumble at his feet because Zuko is alive.

#death tw #...yes this is partially inspired by middle school me watching bones and having that episode locked and loaded in my memory #anyway in bones i thought the excuse they made for not telling her was stupid so here my reasoning is...distance? idk it kinda falls apart #when sokka arrives for the funeral so if anyone has ideas as to why sokka can't know id love to hear them #or ideas on how to really twist the knife #like maybe this isn't full divorced maybe this is just like they had a fight and sokka left for a little while and reaaally feels guilty #but it was actually because i was thinking of sokka's canon death and how i would love for it to be fake #i really like the idea of zuko mourning him in a completely wrecked room things half burned as he turns away all the guards #zukka #surely there's got to be fic for this. anyone know?? #<----i say being very bad at actually sitting and reading fic

[wowifinallywatched]

Saw: The Final Chapter

Me: A room and the lighting of it won't make me emotional

The Room: *The OG saw bathroom*

Me: SOBBING IN THE CORNER BESIDE MY BABY BOY ADAMS BODY

#still haven't recovered from Adam's death #THAT ENDING WAS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I LITERALLY GOT TEARY EYED #MOTHERFUCKING KARMA BIIIIIIITCH #SUCK ON DEEZ DEAD ASS DRY BONES NUTS #I'm so sorry I should not be excited about a man led to his eternal doom #YOU TOUCHED THE ONE THING YOU SHOULDN'T OF #AND YOU KNOW THAT MOTHERFUCKIN JIGGY SAWWY MAN ALWAYS HAS A PLAN #I cannot believe the OG Dr was apart of this all along this is absolutely psycho #so fucking beautiful but psycho #BUT JUSTICE FOR MY BOY ADAM IS DESERVED HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LEFT TO DIE #I UNDERSTAND THE GAME BUT SOBS #saw #saw 7 #saw 3d #saw the final chapter #adam stanheight #saw adam #mark hoffman #detective hoffman #saw franchise #just saw thoughts #saw memes #sawposting #saw 1 #saw i #saw spoilers

[swedenis-h]

I fixed the Bridge Scene

#I know this is out of character BUT CMOONNN #like I KNOW why Goncharov left him there but GOD #If I heard my best friend wailing like that I’d be so broken #I AM BROKEN #GOD #andrey deserved a lil kiss and a hug #and I know if this movie wasn’t made in the 70’s they would’ve kissed I feel it in my bones #anyways I think I’ve got all the goncharov outta my system 🫡 #andrey was SLAYING in this scene btw #goncharov fanart #goncharov movie #goncharov andrey #goncharov #art #fanart #my art

[astarlightmonbebe]

episode 5 has left me considering the different - and similar - ways taeyoung and kwonsook think about themselves, and how they respond to pain/violence.

kwonsook calls herself a monster, someone who goes crazy in the boxing ring. that monster, she says, was created by her father, and her father used abuse, violence, and emotional manipulation to create that monster. he didn’t treat her like human, so it’s no surprise that the way she talks about herself when she boxes is as if she’s discussing an animal: she gets cornered, gets scared for her life, and lashes out to kill. she calls herself a monster with resignation; it’s not what she wanted to be, but she knows it’s what she was. she ran away to escape that monstrosity, to live as a human, doing good things, but that part of her never really died.

taeyoung, too, calls himself a monster. he’s a SOB, he does thing no one with an ounce of humanity would do. he seemingly has no qualms about what he does, perhaps because he can always justify it to himself, always has an exit prepared for when things really get bad (until, i’m sure, he doesn’t). like kwonsook, taeyoung accepts the label of monster, accepts his own inhumanity, even if they are inhuman in very different ways. whereas kwonsook wants to break away from that monstrous part of her - she’s only returned so she can free herself from that part of herself permanently (and if she finds a way to box without a monster, then...) - taeyoung embraces it. it’s through being a monster that he’s found success, how he secures futures for his athletes, and how he’s able to ‘solve’ their (and his) issues. monstrosity was not imposed on taeyoung, but (due to what we know so far) is something he chose for himself (although the factors surrounding this part of his past are decidedly murky).

in this episode, taeyoung and kwonsook also demonstrate similar responses to violence and (emotional) pain. when taeyoung upsets kwonsook by working with her father behind her back, he offers her an outlet for her anger by punching him. later on, after ahreum has already slapped kwonsook, instead of lashing out, kwonsook offers to let ahreum hit her again if it will make her feel better. in parallel responses, both ahreum and kwonsook debate taking that opportunity to hurt, but decide not to (kwonsook because she’s taking a chance on taeyoung, or moreso giving him another one, and ahreum because she decides that she doesn’t owe kwonsook that, that kwonsook is beneath her in terms of boxing, no longer on her level). 

kwonsook learned to respond to pain at a young age. in boxing, you can’t flinch from the hit - you have to learn how to take the pain, absorb it, and get back up to hit again. outside of the rink, kwonsook absorbs the pain, but she doesn’t hit again. she’s experienced firsthand what her hits can do to people, and that terrified her. after all, she only boxed so that she could protect her mother. so when confronted with violence and pain, she takes the hit, because pain is what she knows and understands. it’s the emotions behind it that are hard for her. pain is easy for kwonsook, because she’s used to living through it, surviving it; beneath it, she’s always empty. she’s never really cared about boxing; it was what she had to do. the lee kwonsook that was a boxing genius was a monster she ran from, after all. but in order to break away from that monster, she has to come to understand the emotional investment of her fellow female boxers. before, they were just her opponents, never her friends, but now she has to face their own feelings about the sport, the passion they have for boxing that she never felt. like ara said, she didn’t feel happiness about winning, and kwonsook has never lost, so she’s never had to live with that humiliation, either. how her feelings will change in relation to boxing will likely be a reckoning for her.

taeyoung, on the other hand, is confronting his fair share of non-boxing sanctioned boxing. even though kwonsook is the boxer, it’s taeyoung who’s been touched by ‘true’ violence in this present timeline. his life is quite literally on the line, which has been shown again and again. he’s been ambushed by her father, threatened, blackmailed, and beaten up by chairman nam’s guys. he lives on the edge, anxious at every shadow, which is chewing him alive. to him, kwonsook’s anger is much easier to deal with. he knows she might hurt him, but his potential to hurt her is so much more (and if he does, in that case he’d find her anger justified, and probably let her beat him to death or something if what we’ve seen of his feelings for her is an indication of anything), and she might hurt him, but she’d never hurt him as much as other people in his life at the moment would (i.e. by killing him, or hurting the people he cares about). taeyoung is used to weathering the storm of other people’s dislike; he’s the scumbag, and he does bad things, deserves other people’s anger when it’s directed at him. 

both taeyoung and kwonsook want to resolve things through violence. i think it’s telling that despite being two emotionally aware people, they both consider other people’s feelings to be so easily taken care of. they want the quick, instant pain, and then they want to get it over with. because the violence is what they’re used to, and to a degree it’s what they both think they deserve. however, what lies beneath that, what doesn’t go away with a single hit, is much harder for them to confront and understand. 

#star stumbles #my lovely boxer #kdrama #my thoughts #in boxing you get hit and you hit someone else and whoever is still standing wins #and it's basically that way in the whole world of (physical) sports #and it's going to be so so good when they both end up embroiled in the very emotional situation that they both want to avoid at all costs #ie their feelings for each other / betrayal / broken trust / fear #i think i ended this poorly i kind of got distracted and honestly...honestly i don't KNOW what their response to violence really says #or how it's going to be played with throughout the drama #this text is the bare bones of what i can understand through what i've seen #and oh yes even though i know some people might argue that they're not emotionally aware i think they are... #both very emotionally mature. despite their actions they both know what's up in their hearts #and they're very adept at reading one another (or at least taeyoung is towards kwonsook i think she's getting there but she's also trying to #distance herself from him so. i do think she's ignoring some of what she'll probably reinterpret later on #nobody made taeyoung a monster he chose that path vs kwonsook left the path as soon as she was able to #and her getting punished for his bad deeds...even though at the end she admits they're both scumbags for going through with this deal #because she's understood that she'll hurt boxing whether good things come out of it or not #because she'll be disrespecting ahreum and everyone else by rigging the match and losing on purpose #which will probably add to her conflict later on #and taeyoung simultaneously struggles with not wanting to string her along vs stringing her along #because he's been upfront with her about how he's a bad person and she sees it too but ALSO #he can't bring himself to tell her some of the worst things because he wants her to see him differently #like he wants to act like a good person for her but also knows he needs her #honestly their relationship dynamic reminds me so much of my liberation notes #it's the ahjussi / disenchanted two people approaching each other and something ending up growing there where they thought nothing would #again

[thefleetsfinest]

What's your place in the royal court?

The Knight.

a defender, strong as stone, you make it a mission to defend. never would you turn your back on those in need; valorous, a paragon, a sword raised in battle with a cry on your lips... but, be warned, noble knight, that you do not fall to the sword, yourself. are these ideals worth dying for?

Tagged by : @oceansfirst Tagging: WHOEVER! YOU! (if you haven't done it yet! <3 )

#✧˖° → All I got left is my bones. [ About ] #He feels attacked. #So attacked? #he was minding his business. #But also the queen and her knight uwu

[housewifebuck]

Who up and wanna take me out back and shoot me rn

#anybody else having like the worst fucking night of all time or just me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m at the end of my rope !!! #I can’t take this shit anymore!!! (continues to take it) #first I go to help someone give her cat it’s FIP treatment and got bit like 14 times and then I went to the ER #and then it was super crowded and I felt like I was overreacting so I left #even tho I know I wasn’t lol I have enough experience with this shit to know this is bad #and then coming home I almost got in a fucking head on collision #and then got a message about a dead cat someone had hit and left on the side of the road #so I had to go get it and take it 20 minutes away to the emergency vet to be cremated #and the cat had clearly been recently pregnant which means there are kittens somewhere dying without her #so I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow and try to find them if they’re still alive #which means I’m gonna have to deal with the homeowners #fuck!!!!!!! #and that’s IF I’m not back in the ER in the morning if these bites get infected #like her teeth hit the bone in my finger lol #I might um. kill myself. idk #personal

[anna-scribbles]

the it’s time to go animatic living in my mind rn.....powerful 

#listen to the bridge of that song and TELL me its not about adrien agreste #fifteen years fifteen million tears begging till my knees bled? #I gave it my all you gave me nothing that all then wondered why I left?? #now he sits on his throne in his palace of bones praying to his greed he's got my past frozen behind glass but i've got me????? #im just saying. #anna rambles #this is about the taylor swift song. in case there was any confusion

[gojoest]

i will cry 😔

#— ai rambles #i just heard from my dentist 🥲 #last week i left her all the x rays and 3d stuff she asked me to #and now she finally got back to me #on november 2 i will be getting my wisdom tooth removed + the problem tooth next to it that was ruined bc of an incapable dentist #in the past and is now beyond saving so 🥲 #aside from that i’m getting a bone graft and then in in about 4 months an implant #SOB #I AM SO TERRIFIED #the whole procedure will be done by another specialist btw #who turns out to be a relative of mine LMAO #i found out after my first appointment #he owns the clinic i kind of feel safer in his hands BUT i’m still terrified 🥲

[luxites]

might open comms to help with the bill from my immediate care visit yesterday but argh I don’t really have the time rn to put new WIPs on my plate 😭

#bg info I’ve had constant pain in my left knee and ankle #and inability to fully straighten it or bend it back #since August last year and my parents finally got scared enough to #let me be seen and I had x rays done #and good news is that my bones are completely normal #BUT if it’s ligament related or something… #I can’t get an MRI done unless I fail physical therapy #so I have to go through all that first #pain and suffering but now with money reasons #I almost don’t wanna do it cuz spending more money #but I also really want no more pain… and I miss being able to sit down on the ground and bend #lux.txt

[sebs-studies]

15.4.23

I haven't been doing much work since I got back as I have been at work literally every day. So take a small essay plan and reading with the cats! Rufus also gets an honorary mention for keeping me sane.

#its been my birthday last week and i got the shadow and bone trilogy #im enjoying it so far #i needed some light reading to just turn my brain off with these shifts have been killer i did 14 days in a row #plus its all manual labour so u get so tired #but now i only have two weeks of break left and i havent started revising. going to go watch some study videos for motivation #lily the cat #lupin the cat #rufus the dog #studyblr #study blog #motivation #university #spring break #dark academia

[baka-monarch]

.

#crying alone in a bathtub cause my family used up all the hot water and from my own foolhardiness the plastic is already off the bathbomb #i literally took a bath last so i wouldn't use up all the hot water for my family #and now everyone else has used it and all i have left is cold water #i feel selfish for being upset at not having warm water #and sad cause i wanted hot water on my aching muscles and bones #because i woke up with my body in pain for no reason them i had to go to worm #work* #but I feel like I'm being selfish and shouldn't complain about the water because I've used up all the hot water before and it's the whole #reason i got in last #so now I'm in a puddle of cols water and crying alone and feeling guilty and bad and sad and hurt

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

#weight talk #<- just in case even though this is pos #but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life #like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL #i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL #but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety #partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly #so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up #well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite #and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day???? #and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs #highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16 #and then it dropped 10 #and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER #and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left #like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling #but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back #I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE #and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore #like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards #but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore #I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man #and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic #when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way #and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore #i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat #seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy

[thefleetsfinest]

How do you best like to be loved?

LAUGH WITH ME LONG AND LOVING

jokes are simple and easy to comprehend, and laughter helps with all that tension in your belly. you just want a break from the other stuff, and if someone makes you laugh, then that means that they care, in some way, about your happiness. especially, if, after making you laugh the once, they try and do it again. if laughter is the greatest medicine, then you can share it and no one has to be sick. it is contagious, and free to give and receive. there is never too much of it. there is never too much of you. i hope when you laugh you speak it from your belly. that you use your muscles and let it fill the room. that you know the sound rings like a bell and is lovely. i hope that when you smile you show your teeth.

Tagged by: @oceansfirst Tagging: ALL OF YOU! Do the thing and then tag me in it so I can see!

#✧˖° → All I got left is my bones. [ About ] #I AM LITERALLY SOBBING ON THE ENTERPRISE #HOW DARE YOU COME FOR HIM LIKE THIS QUIZ

[katierosefun]

realizing that gracie abrams is jj abrams’ daughter is sure hell of a realization to make when you’re naming a mckirk fic after a gracie abrams lyric, huh

#caroline talks #listening to the blue by gracie abrams .. .. gracie abrams . . . did u write about mckirk #you tell me on the phone you really want to meet my family . . . . #you talk about your dad he used to get so angry #he'd scare you and your brother . . . . #i know i'd let you in on all my bad decisions #you'd make them feel less terrible #the second that you'd listen . . . . #you came out of the blue like that . . . . i never could have seen you coming i think you're everything i wanted . . . #and when i tell you it's bones reflecting on jim . . . . when i tell you jim doesn't talk about his step-dad (or maybe uncle) #but when he does he mentions how his big brother left that time #thinking about jim getting really excited to meet bones' family #thinking about how bones is this ball of hyper-competency but also anxiety #thinking about the quiet wonder in gracie abrams' 'the blue' . . . #how i'm chewing up my own existence thinking about this #thinking about 'what are you doing to me now?' and thinking about bones #there's a very vivid image in my head of them right now #mostly bones asking 'what are you doing to me now?' (part exasperation part hope part fear) #the way i will always wish we got more mckirk screen time but godddd #god. god god #something something bones being hyper-competent but also very anxious at all hours #something about life feeling like a weird fog and then jim crashing right next to him you came out of the blue like that!!! #(also maybe i cry a little bit bc you know how like in the star trek movies the enterprise leaves this trail of blue when they warp) #(BECAUSE . . . YEAH. . . .) #also maybe. i do. i do associate blue and yellow with bones and jim </333

[risingsunresistance]

has anyone else who plays skyblock ever experienced like. someone tries to do an ~Epic Troll~ on you where they try to disrupt whatever your grinding (mining ur ores, killing ur mobs, etc) but they're so hilariously bad at it that THEY end up raging and leaving the lobby

#i've had this happen in the jungle park where some dude followed me around trying to break MY trees #before i could get to them. but like... we were the only two in that section #he couldve just. ran on the opposite side to me and we wouldve been fine #but no he wanted ***my*** trees. only the ones i was walking to #but then he got mad and left. man even had his atoe and i was just walking jkfhdgjk #also in the dwarven mines *a lot*... dont think they realize how fast my mining speed is #but also ppl HATE bingo players oh my god #but like. they're so bad at being annoying #you are in full dragon armor with a fot and runaan's and you cant beat my 600 coin shortbow? L #anyways im at 83k bones i think im gonna get it 😎 #i have 9 t7 minions all with medium storages. i should get roughly 12k in the morning (accounting for my pet's perk) #chat #sb