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#even tho I know I wasn’t lol I have enough experience with this shit to know this is bad
housewifebuck · 1 month
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Who up and wanna take me out back and shoot me rn
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le-trash-prince · 7 months
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OF Episode 6 Thoughts: Top/Mew
I finally got to watch this week’s ep and there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I have too many thoughts so I’m splitting them between posts.
First of all: What a fucking episode. I was either laughing or screaming the entire time. I love this shit so much. Everyone in this group sucks!
Mew's bi momma! 🙌
When Mew said “I want you to meet my parents at the end of the year” and then “But don’t count on us still being together” I was like “What the fuck Mew?” LOL. Like Mew, I know you will probably never understand this, but just because you are not seeing anyone else doesn't mean that you are emotionally committed to this relationship. You keep pulling back and giving mixed signals!
“I think the reason I was fine without a relationship was because I got enough love from family and friends” Mew how about you recognize that you’re demi instead of psychoanalyzing your slutty friends!
Tbh tho, I know it's really hard to come to terms with your own sexuality, especially when it's so different from everyone around you. We try to come up with reasons as to why people are different, rather than being able to accept that these differences can be inherent to who we are as people.
I think this episode showed more than any other just how genuine Top’s feelings for Mew really are. And of course this had to be the episode it all came crashing down.
Like the notebook of drawings he gave him? That was super sweet and thoughtful as a gift—ppl prob expect someone like Top to just throw money at his lovers but instead he put time and effort into his gift. You can’t draw someone like that without really looking at them. There wasn’t anything in that gift that said "fuckboy" or “I’m doing this just so you will sleep with me.”
Felt like there was an intentional parallel between Top kissing Mew’s forehead while he was asleep and Ray kissing Mew on the mouth.
I feel like I need to rewatch to process “Mew and Ray get in a fight” and “Ray gave Mew the audio file and Mew believed him”
When Mew and Top got home, I loved how the change and tension felt tangible. Like something about Mew going into the bedroom by himself and leaving Top in the living room spoke to a barrier between them
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Mew pinning Top to the bed did a lot of things for me thanks 👍
“I love the way you sound in bed” honestly some cinematic poetry, I was hollering.
As much as I feel like Top was coerced into sleeping with Boston, what can he even say to defend himself with? “I didn’t want to sleep with him?” Well it sure sounded like you did. “I did it because I thought you lied to me?” Yeah that’s not gonna make Mew understand. Lol. Again, I don't know if Top even knows if he's allowed to not want to have sex with someone.
It’s a hard situation with a lot of grey area! And even tho we kind of knew this was how Mew was gonna find out, it's the worst way for him to find out.
Of course Mew is going to be hurt. This is like the worst outcome for him, and it revealed a lot of his insecurities around his lack of sexual experience. Especially after talking big at the beginning "My senses are always correct and I know everything there is to know about love."
I wonder if he even blamed himself for being bad at sex as to why he didn’t enjoy his first time with Top all that much, rather than it simply being that he might not really get much out of sex at all. It's okay if you don't want sex, Mew, or if you don't enjoy it, or even if it takes time for you to enjoy it!
“I’m not worth enough for you to love only me.” Mew. Mew. *shakes him* First of all, Top thinks Boston is a pile of burnable trash. He does not love that man! Second of all, please don’t tie self worth to romantic love or to ideals of monogamy. It is never going to end well.
Again, "I think the reason I was fine without a relationship is because I got so much love from family and friends." Mew are you being honest with yourself? You even said yourself that the reason you slept with Top was because you were worried about him getting bored with you.
I may have mentioned this before, but I think the reason that "mastermind Mew" was so popular with the fandom at the beginning of the series is because people wanted it to be true, because if Mew had seen this coming, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I don't think it came from "we think Mew is evil or manipulative or whatever," I think we just didn't want to watch a person as naive as Mew get hurt. Because that's what happens the majority of the time in real life. People get hurt.
Sad lonely himbo Top in the bathtub 👍
Overall, I really enjoy watching their relationship. It's very complicated; it's nowhere near as straightforward as a "fuckboy cheats on his virgin boyfriend" plotline could easily be. I don't think they had a solid foundation for their relationship. They enjoy their dates, but there hasn't been a lot of great communication between them, which as I mentioned on a previous post, is very normal, especially for a first or second relationship. And for both of them, I think this is their first real attempt at a relationship, and neither of them know what they're doing.
In the preview, we see a clip of Mew in the bathtub where his expression changes, and it really looks like a symbolic transformation to me. Whether we get revenge era Mew or "let's try this again with more emotional transparency" Mew, I'm here for it.
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What are your most unpopular opinions on Descendants as a whole?
Idk how popular/unpopular a lot of my opinions are, but here are a few that I think are unpopular haha:
1) I like Mal. Yes even when she’s making bad choices, which she certainly does. I like that she’s a messy protagonist & even tho I prefer a lot of things about her book characterization I also lowkey still like the movie version of her. I know people say Dove was phoning it in especially in D3 but I think she did a really good job in D1 & D2; at the beginning of D2 she did a believable enough portrayal of a stress-based mental breakdown that I’m convinced Dove was drawing from personal experience. When you can see her zoning out every time no one’s talking to her directly bc she’s mentally working through a checklist of everything she needs to do—I’ve been there. Mal was sleep deprived & living on sheer willpower & fear of failure and Dove crushed it in terms of portraying that experience.
I’ll admit that I’m biased bc I am not immune to Dove Cameron in purple hair & studded jackets, I relate to Ben bc I too would abuse my position of power just to make Mal happy oop
2) I like beast!Ben okay I did not like the makeup job but I did like the character design & I think if they were gonna have him do stupid shit like roaring in D2 when overwhelmed/stressed about the fight with Uma or physically shake water off of himself like a dog then we could’ve gotten more than him being beasted by a spell for 2 minutes (even tho the FX makeup did Not hold up well on camera). Also they were cowards for using the magic lake super soaker to mostly break the spell, every single version of Beauty and the Beast that refuses to show a human/beast kiss on screen is made by cowards. This was the only spell in D3 that was broken in this way & they did that specifically bc they were cowards. Mal should’ve broken the spell by kissing him in the first place I don’t care if it’s weird
Given the slightest inclination I would’ve made a beast!Ben au anyway but I only initially started writing down any of it out of spite
3) I don’t love that Mal spelled Ben but I still ship Bal. I support & enjoy other ships with both of the characters (Malvie, Bevie, core four all together, etc) but I am a Bal shipper at heart. And I think Ben proposing with a callback to Did I Mention was really cute okay, yes that’s salt in the wound for Audrey but just on its own it was a really cute & romantic way to propose & I love it
4) Ig the really unpopular thing, going off of the prev one, is this: I don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever actually in love. I think they were friends & them dating was something that Audrey was encouraged to do & Ben went along with, & I think as much as Audrey absolutely was unfairly humiliated in front of her peers she was more upset at losing the crown than Ben. Ben still owed her an apology & an explanation once he broke Mal’s spell; it wasn’t his fault that he embarrassed Audrey while under the influence of a spell but it was pretty cowardly & lame of him not to own up to it right away & instead just use the spell as an easy out from the relationship. But I still don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever in love. As a Bal shipper, I am definitely biased about this.
Also, I’m not opposed to anyone shipping Audrey with Ben! I think it’s cool that all of us can see this same franchise & come away with so many different ideas & opinions
So those are my hot takes lol. Overall I just enjoy Descendants as the beautiful garbage fire it is & I don’t have super strong opinions about ships or anything, I just like playing in the sandbox :)
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amaranthnymph · 5 months
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I think I’d like to go to a bath house sometime. (Body image thoughts ahead, be warned)
I’ve always fantasized about it, I’ve enjoyed the occasional threeway, but it’s also like really really daunting for me for several reasons.
Sex with strangers has never been a particularly safe activity, but it sure seems worse nowadays because, and maybe it’s just my experience with local men, dudes think PrEP is a wonder drug that’ll protect you from EVERY STI and that’s just, Jesus, so fucking stupid lol I’ve chatted with so many hot dudes who I end up losing interest in because they only bareback ‘cos they’re on PrEP and when I would bring up that I wasn’t on it yet, they’d just say “okay, but I’M on it, so…?” And that fucking mindset is exactly what led to me getting stealthed, which in CA is considered rape, but I still feel hesitant to say I was raped even tho I explicitly told him I wasn’t comfortable with barebacking, and maybe my hesitancy is because I came out of that unscathed and my experience is so much less, I dunno, traumatic or violent as other people’s experience? Idk Anyway, that’s one of the reasons, I don’t trust other people to be getting regularly tested.
Another reason is two-fold: distance and my job. Unless I’m wrong, the closest bath house is Steamworks in Berkeley which is a 3 hour drive! It’s not THAT long, but I dunno how I’d find a way to make the trip and stay in Berkeley for a weekend when I have to take care of my mom. She’s becoming a little more sefl-sufficient, but I am constantly worried that she’ll get hurt or something when I’m not around. There’s not really anyone else to care for her since my sister works days, my dad works nights, and they end up sleeping most of the time they’re home because they work so hard. I already feel like I don’t do enough to help my mom these days but that’s because I’m so burnt out from taking care of her, and her stroke last year only made things harder as she needed full-time care. Like, I know I could be doing more, but fuck, I’m so fucking tired.
Lastly, and sadly my biggest obstacle, is my belly. While I don’t think I’m unattractive (I don’t think I’d have been as successful a slut as I am if I wasn’t sexy as hell), I certainly don’t enjoy what I see in the mirror. My face? Handsome! Ass? Huge and plump! Thighs? Thick and great for intercrural. But my belly? I hate it. Fucking loathe it. It hangs in a way I’ve not really seen other dudes’ bellies hang, my belly fat distribution is so fucking weird. Like, most other dudes my weight have rounder, less flabby bellies, but mine isn’t, it looks like a beanbag strapped to my abdomen and I even tried to get a consult on if I’d be a good candidate for a panniculectomy and nope, my BMI is too high and Medi-Cal no longer covers it. I’m hoping that at least working out and staying in a caloric deficit will help me shed some pounds and maybe tighten my belly up. I don’t mind HAVING a big belly, but I just hate that it hangs the way it does, I can’t wear sexy undies because it basically hangs over the whole thing, I have to buy Tall shirts because regular XXL shirts don’t cover up my belly, like, it’s just such a fucking hassle as well as being an eyesore. I could care less if the rest of my body stayed the same but I fucking hate my belly.
Still, I wanna go to a bath house and live out my fantasy of having a bunch of hot dudes rail me into oblivion, I just… gotta sort out all the above shit first, maybe.
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cpunkhobie · 10 months
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5, 8, and 12 maybe?
5. if you have multiple disabilities: do they affect each other? how?
Ok so my disabilities are: celiacs + anemia, asthma, chronic depression, autism, ocd, and photophobia*
*I fall asleep/faint in light, get headaches, shit like that. They’re probably seizures but I’ve been diagnosed with Enough stuff this past year
now all of this equals one big bucket of executive dysfunction and a general feeling of being the laziest mf alive. I’m not, it’s just that basic human functions are 10x harder for me. My body just finds it extremely difficult to do the things most bodies know how to do naturally, like breathing, digesting food, and making blood
Also the SENSORY ISSUES ? Off the fucking charts. Celiacs already has increased sensitivity and especially photosensitivity so that mixed with the Not Breathing Disease, and the autism, AND the ocd+tactile hallucinations? It’s like hell, I’m in hell. LUCKILY, a lot of it is much more manageable when I’m off gluten, because the celiacs just works to enflame all the other stuff I have going on
But yeah, I like to say I’m a vampire cause I’m pale as fuck, allergic to light, sleep during the day(fatigue), anemic, and can’t eat most dishes containing garlic. That’s all I can rlly think of rn tho lol
8. does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your identity? (gender, queerness, culture, even hobbies/life goals you're very passionate about)
Answered this! (link)
12. what's something (a struggle, a symptom, a weird phenomenon, or even a funny experience) people don't realize about your disability?
That not being able to breathe properly makes you extremely depressed, anxious, and fatigued. Like I feel like the struggle that’s brought up the most with asthma is Attacks, but if you have chronic asthma breathing is pretty much a constant struggle. Like the first time I ever took an inhaler I felt a whole new world open up to me like “people live like this?” Is the exact thing I said to my mom. Cause I just Wasn’t breathing properly my entire life
So y’all, if you’re asthmatic friend is ever especially moody or snappy. Tell them to take their inhaler, chances are They Can’t Fucking Breathe.
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uglypastels · 10 months
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(i literally typed this into my notes so i could keep going back to the chapter to make sure i didn’t forget anything and i still feel like i’m forgetting smth and i think it pasted weird so. my bad)
okay so first things first, comments on ch. 7
-amazing. amazing. amazing. amazing. wtf. this fic is like crack and i’m abt to change my address to the inside of your walls
-omg the dream with munson being a total sweetheart!!
-the kiss then slap then second kiss!!?!! (also OH MY GOD THEY FINALLY KISSED)
-and he knew she was going through his shit and reading his letter and even tho he was mad he held it back to first make sure she was okay
-and while they were arguing he still was trying to look out for her and *literally* catching her fall and holding her up (i could die).
-i love him being a little bossy bitch and the slight manhandling like😳😏😔😩 don’t get me wrong i love bossy/dom!eddie fics but they don’t hit as hard if he’s not got a brat to tame…so this is like perfect. (and if u felt so inclined to include even a little more manhandling going forward, i personally would melt this fic down and shoot it into my veins. if not, that’s okay too!)
now some lingering questions that are eating me alive that i’m SO looking forward to getting answers to
-what the fuck did munson give harrington a choice on if not ignore her or die?? what tf did eddie even say to him!!?
-reader wasn’t supposed to be on the ship!?
-reader’s crew did something horrible, possibly to munson and his crew??
also 👉👈 i saw u answered an ask that there could be a nsfw scene and i am begging with my whole heart🥺
peeps, dont read this ask if you havent caught up on Not Wholly Evil
i dont think the walls in my house are big enough but hey, you do you <3 you would mostly get to experience me sitting at my computer for 5 hours straight, constantly getting distracted and then annoyed that I'm not making any progress in the story haha
he is a sweetheaart, deep deep down, but ya know, it's hard to show that when the lady kinda hates your guts
im sorry but idk what she was thinking, it wasn't slick lol, and it is his ship so he knows everything that happens around.
im such a whore for manhandling and i had originally included more of it in the fic but i also don't want to make it like too aggressive because don't want it to get too dark (you should have seen my original draft. she went fucking through it yikes) but yeah i mean stuff might happen who knows (i don't. the planning for this fic is abysmal) and the same goes for the smut.
see the thing i think happened (i say as if im an oracle writing down these events and not making it fucking up in my own head dafuq) but ok- so the thing with Eddie is, he's a bit of a maniac, and i feel like he thinks he gave steve a choice, which was probably consisting of mainly threats, but it was technically a choice + i steve absolutely knew what eddie was up to so he just let it slide because fuck ok, get yo girl i guess.
hey, i said it from the very first chapter! its all in their baby
and about that last question... you'll have to wait and see
ok, so, this was such a treat to wake up to!!! thank you so much for the asks you do not understand how much i love answering these
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15 Questions
Thanks for the tag Moya!
1. Are you named for anyone?
Technically yes. My middle name is a biblical one, and also my…. Aunt?? Cousin? I’ve met her but I think she’s my dad’s first cousin and I don’t know what that means I am to her.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Like… what type of cry? Sobbed? End of December. Cried? About a week ago. From laughter? Sunday night. My brother was building a clearance gingerbread house and the icing said “made in a nut free facility” and my brother leaned over to me and said “so no men there?” And I lost it. Later he just fucking leaned over and started to hands free eat the house and I lost it again. Just little tears? Last night. I saw an instagram reel and I got misty eyed. I don’t remember what it was about.
3. Do you have kids?
Haha no. I’m not strictly opposed? But I’m not fucking doing that by myself and relationships are real low priority to me.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
I used to more. Not so much anymore?
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Mostly what they’re doing. And then if they seem happy or not.
6. What’s your eye color?
Blue
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Honestly neither but I guess happy endings. But not inspiring movies. I fucking hate inspiring movies I spent enough time in church having my emotions manipulated I’m not fucking paying to sit and do it again. Miss me with that shit.
8. Any special talents?
Talent? Uh, I have super flexible shoulders? I guess I would consider my natural aptitude to figure shit out as a talent? Other things I would consider as skills cause I worked for them. So like crafts and my flexibility and writing.
9. Where were you born?
Florida.
10. What are your hobbies?
You don’t have the time to have me list them. And they rotate pretty frequently. But!! I just got a drop spindle and I’m currently obsessed with it. But crafts are definitely a constant. Any craft, I’ve probably tried it once. I’m really not kidding.
11. Have any pets?
Not at the moment. I want rats someday but I’m so busy I wouldn’t be able to give them a good life 😞
12. What sports have you played?
As a child: basketball, soccer, football (like American football lol), tennis, cheerleading.
As an adults I’m pretty active but not really in organized sports. Now I’m doing mostly running, gymnastics, and pole dancing.
13. How tall are you?
5 foot….. 5??? 6???
14. Favorite subject in school?
I honestly liked most of it. I hated geometry tho. One I always wanted to do was Linguistic but alas, FL state law kept me from doing it. 😭 (not that like linguistics specifically is illegal, google excess credit hour laws)
15. Dream job?
Hahahah i don’t even know. I don’t particularly want to work. However I wish I could do animal education at a zoo. I would love that. I would love just answering questions about iguanas.
Oh. Oh wait… my like, dream unbelievable never going to happen job would be an acrobat. Fuck. When I was younger interacting with circus related material like movies or books or even color palets would make my heart hurt. Like sometimes I couldn’t interact with it because it just hurt so much. It’s just so cool and fucking magical and mesmerizing. I loved it. And even at like 15 I thought it was too late for me to ever be a part of that world.
And then when I turned 22 and had a fucking life meltdown, I was watching fucking unus anus and heard Ethan talking about gymnastics and decided to just… try something. And I quickly found out it wasn’t too late?? That I still had a chance to learn and try and experience circus arts??? Now I’ve tried acrobatics and aerial silks and contortion and pole and got on a trapeze once. And now it’s my motivation for how I take care of myself. I have to eat food and move my body and take care of myself. I have to because if I don’t I’ll never be able to try lyra/aerial hoop. I gotta keep going because I’ve got pole on Wednesday and I’m so close to the body spiral.
When I get emotionally low I remind myself I gotta keep going so I can get back to my circus arts.
(Please note I know circus haven’t always been good and nice and happy places. I get it. I know. I’m not talking about that)
Tagging! @as-a-matter-of-whump @brutal-nemesis @cowboy-anon @i-can-even-burn-salad @jordanstrophe @just-a-silly-little-whumper @milk-carton-whump @poopraven @quietly-by-myself @redstainedsocks @susiequaz12 @thoughtsonhurtandcomfort @ziptiesnfries @tearyvictim @
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lauranyx · 1 year
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My Stray Kids Fanmeet Experience
So i saw skz for the first time in real life the other day (jan 202023 to be exact :p) and i wanna write my whole experience so that i can look back at this in the future cuz my memory is shit 😅
It all started last year 2022 around Nov/Dec when bench announced that they'll have a bench x stray kids fanmeet this Jan 2023 (excite excite) so obv i just HAD to get tickets. ITS STRAY KIDS HELLO?
minor detour for some of that extra context lol:
I got into skz mid to late 2021 and ofc it was felix with his deep ass “cooking like a chef” yt short that sucked me in. From then on i just got hooked into their content and just them in general. Really nice to see a grp thats around my age doing something amazing like what theyre doing now.
Anyway! Back to my fan meet xp
So last yr i saw the announcement and got all majorly excited. At first i was thinking of getting VIP tickets. I was actually willing to spend 8k for a fanmeet and a chance to receive a poster from them. But then i saw the lines in bench and i was like,, hell naw! I aint gonna be putting myself through that. Y’all can wait in line for that imma spend my time elsewhere. So i waited for the promo period to get tickets for lower box instead. This was only 4k with a chance for a bye wave opportunity (no physical up close interaction like shaking hands or anything but at least u get to see them closer up). I was totally fine w this since i spend less and since im not going for what majority (who can afford) want, less ppl to deal with/wait in line for.
Now.. i went through s t r u g g l e just to claim my ticket after buying my stuff from bench. Dont really wanna retype everything since ive already shared w my friends so imma just attach screenshots of my rant
(Screenshots here)
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Now, after that whole ordeal, is the new year and i honestly forgot there was a raffle. Also can i just say, thank goodness ate girl (for those that dont know ate is filipino for sister that we use even for non relatives.. kinda like noona/unnie) was kind enough to send me my code that night so i was still able to enter my code for the raffle to win a bye wave opportunity. Cuz if not… i wouldnt have seen skz up close😿
Jan 12 day of the bye wave winners announcement: I checked my email around morning and noon; nothing. So i was like ayt, i didnt win. I’ll still get to see skz tho irl w decent seats.
BUT THEN
when i checked my email again in the evening- actually i didnt purposefully check my mail; i just saw the push notif on my phone. Something like “STRAY KIDS WINNER, congratulations!” and I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. Like OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD!! I WON?!?!??? Suuuper ecstatic. Kept squeeling and shit. I could not even.😶😱🤗😵🥴🫠🤪🤪🤪
After i was able to calm down, I immediately let ate girl know if we could meet up earlier so i can get my receipt back so i can have no trouble on the day of the fanmeet when i claim the raffle. She was nice enough to agree and meet up earlier and it was nice that she seemed happy for my win (she also bought lb tix) kinda regretful i didnt try to be friends w her but im shy so whatever. I just want receipt so i can see the bois😛😁😁😁
Cut to day of fan meet. Wait no- actually.. the week of the fanmeet. The monday of that wk is when i met up w ate gurl to get my receipt. Friday was the fanmeet. In between i was tryna decide my outfit (that i dont have a pic of but whatever. i’ll describe it nalang) which ended up being a kinda loose white tank top with a green plaid long sleeve on top then dark grey/black slim jeans. Add in a couple of accessories ( choker, chains, earrings) and we’re good to go. Oh i also had on my hidden high heel highcut black sneakers (or at least i think theyre sneakers; can never remember fashion shtuff)
In case it wasn’t obvious i was fully planning to go on my own since my friends/cousins said they couldnt (busy or broke) so whatever. BUT THEN my friend, day before the fanmeet- night before actually- was like “ hey! Joke lang im actually going to the meet” so i was like “omg yay!” Not like that exactly but yeah. Same sentiments :p
I asked my friend if we could meet up on fri and she said sure. She’ll just be w her friend who got her the ticket.
Now! We can finally cut to the day of the fanmeet. Claiming for raffle winners are from 10am-2pm then theres an orientation @3pm so i went to moa around 12-1230, got my photo cards (chan, leeknow, & hyunjin) and the wristband showing me as a bye wave winner. Went around moa, had lunch in jollibee, waited around in my car for my friend to arrive around 4, 5pm. Ate again in ikea resto then we finally went to the venue.
While lining up we made friends w another stay who gave out some freebies (ngl i forgot her name🥲) she was sweet. I was kinda stupid and decided to split up from my friend (cuz there 2 lines and the one i went to was shorter but my friend didnt follow so 🙃☹️) so i ended lining up alone when i told her that i wanted to meet up so i wouldnt line up alone lol. Anyway, i got inside moa arena went to my seat in lb 221 and got ready for the fanmeet.
The fanmeet started around 7pm (tho gates opened at 5) it wasnt fully packed inside but there were still a LOT of Stay that attended. Tho i think gen ad was fully packed.
Honestly everything happened so fast that if i didnt take videos and didnt see the vids that others have posted online, i woulda forgotten everything but i know i enjoyed every minute of it😁
So first off skz opened w God’s Menu then the host, Sam Oh (who i know of because she used to be on radio and i loved listening to her shows then), introduced them and on the programme went.
The kids played some jenga w missions, whisper challenge, dance replay challange, domino challange, paint a shirt that was raffled out to the audience) call w a fan(that didnt work out cuz of cell service issues) also i didnt quite get that WE had to call the numbers of the phones in front of the skz members so i didnt really try until it was too late. One fan was able to connect tho but it didnt really work out too well. Im glossing over these and might have mentioned them in the wrong order but thats because there are tons of vids out there about these so i won’t go into detail.
At the end of the fan meet skz performed Case 143 and we moved on to the giving out of signed posters THEN my long anticipated bye wave opportunity. So while the poster receivers were getting ready so were the bye wavers. There was an usher of sorts holding a sign for us to recognize and follow to the exit. The staff told us that no pics/vid was allowed😕 sucks but i was planning to sneak a vid if possible. Others also tried im sure of it. I was 15/200 in line. Unfortunately because i was so close to the front and they were ushering us to the stage pretty fast, i couldnt set up my phone to video on time. No matter tho. There was a barrier that was too high for the phone in my front jean pocket to even capture anything so it wouldve failed anyway.
Going up the stage felt so rushed even tho the videos showed that we werent even walking that fast. But it felt so fast that i couldnt even tell you what order the kids were in when i was waving bye to them. Thank god for other Stays tho so imma put their line up here so i can recall my experience better
They were grouped by twos behind some barriers that looked like kiosk stands from left to right (tho we entered right and left the stage left) it went
Chan - Lee Know | Changbin - Hyunjin | Han - Felix | Seungmun - I.N.
We were like 5ft away from them kandhaksbskabxj
Ok so first i saw was IN and i gotta be honest i cant remember the experience 😭😭 id like to say we made brief eye contact but im not sure. I think i saw that he was looking at the ones behind me so i moved my eyes to Seungmin. Again i cant remember anymore so idek what actually happened here
Now Seungmin, bb, i swear we made eye contact and i think i shocked him with my hair cause his eyes widened and mouth opened wider while looking at me aidbsidbdlaj. Context: i have a shaved head. Tho im in the middle of growing it out. My last shave was mid Dec last yr so my hair at this point is about an inch to an inch and a half
Lemme just insert here that i COULD NOT stop smiling
Next was Felix and oh. my. GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!! We made the looongest eye contact ever!!! wodbsisbdb SWEAR!! At least 2 seconds! It was glorious~ And his face was just so beautiful and his smile was angelic and he may not be my bias but he lives rent free mehn. Rent. Free. Period.
Ayt so Han. My bb, my bias. I feel so bad cause i think i got so caught up w looking at felix ( making fucken 2 second eye contact) that i think Han saw me not looking at him so he went on to say bye to the ones behind me already😖😣😔😢😭 tho i did try to catch his eyes but no such luck cause i had to keep moving
Moving on, it was Hyunjin. Very brief, my encounter with him. Again i think i spent too long looking at Felix that it just pushed back the rest to skip over me causing me to miss meeting eyes with the rest. But Hyunjin 👌 also he be the tallest of the grp
Same thing with Changbin tho i really did try my best to look at them whenever they were more or less directly in front of me. The size of this man tho! Batak! So buff 💪 i just wanna feel… all of it👀 in a non sexual way ofc😶 unless? 😏 jk (or am i🤔)
Anyway!
Lee Know is so pretty like wtf . But again he was already looking at those behind me😞 and i had to keep the line moving so.. sad=me Lee Know is my bias wrecker pa naman🫤 i really love his relationship w Han whether its just friends or whatever it is I just love seeing the interactions. (Ngl tho,, the fan edits of minsung that i see Stay post? Mmm is something alright)
Bang fucken Chan DOE! Maybe cuz he’s last idk. But he made it a point to look at me in the eyes😍🥰 made me soo happy~ and his smile! And dimples! My gosh he’s just adorable☺️😊🫠🫠🤭 i just wanna be your friend man. Actually i just wanna be friends with all 8 of them bdkajxhak
Moving on.
After all this we were ushered out of the arena and I decided to loiter a bit outside before i went back to my car. Fangirled like crazy. Then promptly went back to the hotel. I fangirled again when i saw my cousins at the hotel roofdeck cuz i couldnt just keep this in mehn i had to let it out and share my joy.
Later in the night i found out that skz stayed a bit longer to jam w the crowd while Doodle was playing. Kinda jealous but i got to see them up close so im content for now.
The upcoming concert in March tho.. i NEED to get sound check and vip tix. I just gotta💪 heres to me, hopin’ i get the tickets i want🤞🤞
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gurugirl · 2 months
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I have a lengthy rant (sorry lol) and really need some advice. Theres this guy who I was close with that I liked. He didn’t know I did and I use to pretend i didn’t… I wasn’t sure if he liked me too but he use to show all the signs that he did. We both agreed to a friends with benefits dynamic and I told him how I didn’t want any feelings or commitment involved which he said ok to. But he ended up admitting to me later on that he liked me wayyy before we started our situationship (which I kinda figured) I never told him that I liked him too but instead told him that I didn’t like him in that way and maybe we should just go back to being strictly friends. We never went to the extent of having sex but did everything else under it. And he was my first for it all which he knows because before our situationship I told him that I was a virgin. Never dated, never gave/receive oral, never had sex. And so our first time was making out and me getting off on his lap and each time it gradually increased to us giving/receiving oral. (sorry for the details lol) And each time he would teach/guide me through it. I know he has a lot of past experience and I know he doesn’t have the best track record in relationships (always cheating) but I didn’t really mind cause in my head, I wasn’t gonna want to actually date the man. Anyways, we also work together and go to college together. So I’ll see him occasionally at school but always at work. And he started to call out more to avoid me and take different routes to not me on campus. I confronted him and he said he just wanted to respect my feelings and how he thinks he’s getting too attached to me and likes me more than before so he thought giving me some space would help since I didn’t want that. Then about a week later he ends up moving to another state for school. We were talking/texting the whole time until he landed. He ignored my text so I never bothered reaching out after (it’s been almost 2wks now) and I just found out from a friend of his that the entire time this happened HE WAS DATING ANOTHER GIRL!! So now idk how to feel. I can’t be mad because I said I didn’t want a relationship even tho I liked him but I can’t help but feel like he used me… Even though we both consensually made that choice, knowing he had a gf the entire time makes me feel like I was being used for sex but it’s so hypocritical for me to think that way since I told him that’s all I wanted… Am I wrong for what I did? And do I really have a good enough reason to be upset/hurt? I talked with my friends about it and they all keep saying how he shouldn’t have lied but he technically didn’t “use me” and maybe they’re right but it’s kinda how it feels. Like just shitty. And why pretend to like me?? yk
Oh my god :( :(
Baby, I'm so sorry this happened. I think this sort of thing is just SO TRICKY. Because even tho he had a girlfriend it doesn't mean he didn't like you. He lied to you, though, and that just makes him a super shitty person for doing that to you. I'm glad you didn't have sex with him, though!
I've been in a situation where I was the "other woman" too. Only I slept with the guy and we started getting serious (well I thought we were getting serious lol). I had no idea he was seeing a chick he was ENGAGED TO and wound up marrying after ghosting me. I dated the guy for MONTHS. I slept at his house and his roommate never said a damn thing to me (stupid guy code bullshit probably). I would wake up early and start coffee and walk his dog, have conversations with his roommate... And he acted like he was falling in love with me. He was super romantic and would say super cheesy shit to make me laugh but he'd be like "i'm serious. that's how i feel about you." and of course that ish worked on me at the time... anyway one day he just stopped calling, texting and totally ghosted me. A year later I learned he was seeing a woman the whole time he was with me and I only found out because a mutual friend was invited to their wedding 😂
SO... I'm telling you all this to say I know how it feels. You dodged a bullet that he left the state and now you can move on. He probably did like you but it's not worth it to dwell on that because he's a cheater - he even had that reputation so... yeah. You dodged a huge bullet there.
You didn't do anything wrong hon. You had no idea! That's how I felt about the guy who lied to me for months at first but then I realized that I was enjoying a relationship with someone and that's the end of that. What he was doing was his issue. Not mine. I had fun with him while it lasted but now I know the warning signs to look out for and you do too. Don't feel bad and don't worry about what his intentions were. He's a loser and you get to sigh a huge breath of relief knowing he's gone for good and that you didn't sleep with him.
Just give it some time, my love. You'll feel better soon. xoxo
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melanch0lynoodle · 3 months
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‘Wait for the one but don’t wait for someone to be the one’ boy if you don’t get out my face w that stupid shit, why can’t people be honest , like fully truthful, not even w other people but w themselves, I guess that goes for me too cus honestly it prolly wasn’t gonna work out in the long run but idk I was still willing to put in the time for whoever knows how long to get this to work, maybe I just didn’t really want it to and I’m more so sad i have no one again, idk why I always try to fill a void that don’t need it be filled w a person, I just want things to work out in my favor and I never understand why it can’t but then I realize this is the lord removing and making room for things that are meant for me, im just impatient, i just got excited to feel something for a second and have that type of attention but you weren’t even giving it the way I wanted lol I was settling for something I didn’t want to receive, idk why I keep doing this to myself, but each experience with someone or I guess situationship I get myself into I always learn something new about myself and people in general, still kinda sad tho and it don’t help w this whole coke shit rn, glad I’m not drinking it away but still don’t make it any better by replacing it w somethin diff that don’t do any good, i knew what this was but I still made it a challenge to try to change your mind cus I really felt I could, I know that ain’t right and I’m glad we cut things off cus I wasn’t doing things for the right reason, I know when I do meet the one then it’s not gonna feel like this or like anything else I’ve experienced, I won’t feel like I’m settling, I don’t want to settle and sacrifice the things I’ve always wanted just to make sure someone else gets all that THEY want w/o receiving same in return, I already accepted all this shit about you nel but just wasn’t ready to let go fully cus I enjoyed what we were doing, my body and everything kept fighting things between us but I kept going, can’t even be mad or disappointed w you, only with myself, I can say this time around I am proud of myself and really happy I was honest with myself when communicating with you and saying how I felt/what bothered me, I haven’t really been able to do and have always let people walk all over me and let things go their way but not with you, actually had some self respect but not all that way, again there’s always things I learn and take w me to the next person but I’m tired of having to go through things like this w people just for me to realize things I should already know and be applying at this point, need to be realer w myself moving forward and wait until I’m truly ready, even then I won’t be ready but still, that’s already two people after moses that I let myself feel shit that I wasn’t ready to but I know I did the right things and I’m glad I tried to cut this off twice before it got farther, sad you don’t think I’m good w enough to lose but really was never feeling you that way, guess it was more for selfish reasons so I’m sorry too
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unmeiokaemasu · 11 months
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finally making progress on a maddening run of 3h 8)
verdant wind, because the final battle on that route is the one that I find the easiest by far, and the thought of even trying maddening was very intimidating to me. If I beat this route I’ll probably do a maddening azure moon with some even stricter rules.
I did start a maddening run before, and found if you start a new game+ file and utilize like all your carried over renown and stuff, it still completely trivializes the game even on maddening. ...I forgot why I still did the new game+, so uh. hm. anyway so rules:
I can’t spend renown (no weapons from the abyss statue, can’t buy friendship or weapon levels for units, whatever else it’s used for)
can’t use the free shit I found under my bed. I don’t usually do that anyway so
no amiibo gazebo bonus items because I want to be limited by the gold I can obtain normally, so I have to think about how to allocate my funds, and the gazebo sometimes gives you like basic weapons and things you can sell...although I didn’t think about that until I’d already picked up two items. I don’t remember what I got, I think it was like. two ingredients. so yeah I started this run one fish and one tomato richer.
Absolutely allowed to use divine pulse; I’m definitely treating this as a learning experience and it’s way easier to learn what you did wrong if you can immediately go back and try it a different way that works. 
I’m allowed to recruit all free units, so I’ve got the ashen wolves and anna (and sylvain, is it universally known that he joins for free if you picked another house but your byleth is female?); this unlocks other paralogs, but I’m still going to have to deal with hunting by daybreak, so using units outside my house is a handicap I have to think carefully about. Ashen wolves give you access to the abyss passes tho so that’s a pretty big bonus* (moved a tangent about how good Constance is to the end)
I’m playing online, so I am allowing myself to pick up the extra exp and items. It’s another case of if I’d thought about it sooner I probably would’ve said no but. I’m already here.
since it’s new game+ bcs idk the saint statues are all fixied, so yeah I guess I’m getting whatever boon I get from that
it took me a long time to get past the mock battle at the beginning; I don’t know exactly how many attempts bcs the first time I tried I was like “well I guess I’m not as much of a better player as I thought” and didn’t come back to it for a while. but I finally beat it a couple nights ago! it wasn’t like I wasn’t trying to strategize the first attempt, but I came away with the impression that it was intentionally more like a puzzle you had to solve with a pretty narrow solution than like the sprawling battles later. (Those still have an order to them, y’know, get to this advantageous spot, take out the miniboss, deal with the reinforcements, proceed to boss with caution, that kind of thing). I tried hiding the woods, but that by itself wasn’t enough. I’m really used to relying on my magic users, so not having any that were powerful yet really forced me to think differently.
In the end I had to send Claude (whose map position was fixed) into the woods to take a hit from Ashe, and then gang up on Ashe with Claude and Hilda without agroing Hubert and Ferdinand in that direction. Then I could get Byleth posted up in the lower forest, take out Ferdinand in one turn with Byleth and the magic girls (I swapped Lorenz for Lysithea lol, she’s really weak at the beginning but I wanted to get her exp as soon as possible), and then take out Hubert next turn with Byleth. I had tried to have Marianne tank a hit from Hubert because she has good res, but in maddening there really are some enemies you can’t just tank hits from.
The other major departure is that I normally go straight up to whoever’s got the right base and get the “wow they’re fighting both houses?” remark from whoever’s on the left, and just never deal with the two people hiding behind the barrier because they come out of it to fight, but this I had to absolutely avoid agroing both houses so go up left and carefully lure out Dorothea and Edelgard by letting Byleth take a hit from Dorothea while everyone else hid in the leftmost forest. It’s really fun seeing the thought that went into designing these maps once you can’t just knock down enemy units like bowling pins! This game really does a good job of teaching you how to think about this kind of strategy if you were like me and just not good at that to start with.
Anyway no map after that was nearly that hard, including the practice battle after that were you still don’t have divine pulse (you have to manage your whole squad at that point so I can see why they pulled back the level of the enemy units; also I just realized that teaches you that generic enemies are weaker than named ones, huh). Even with divine pulse I failed the next map once because of trying to juggle exp gains, but it was fun to start the map from scratch now knowing everything I had to do better.
* (the Constance tangent that I moved:) honestly I’ve used Constance a lot bcs I always like to get the relic for Yuri so I always train Constance up to not die during that...and she’s probably my sickest unit every time? She learns a barrier ability that gives her exp when she uses it, so between that and teaching her healing she can get a lot of non-kill exp and tends to level up really fast, and then you put her in the air and she gets all those crazy benefits...
So if I beat this route, like I said I’ll probably do a maddening azure moon, and NOT play on new game+ and NOT connect to the internet. A “no divine pulse” run is kind of the dream, but again, not worried about that right now. I think as long as I beat the side story I’ll still be allowed to recruit the ashen wolves, which I probably will do. but beating this file is still probably a long way off so 8)
So yeah...I think I went through a bit of a “3h fatigue” phase when I started playing the older games and was like “dang these are all really good,” but 3h isn’t just popular because it’s new or even just because the writing’s good, it’s a really great game. Blazing Blade and Path of Radiance are still my favorites, but 3h is a much closer contender than I thought, they’re basically all on the same level.
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First pair of shoes that I’ve ever bought in my life that weren’t black & white (still reppin the 3 stripes tho) - thought the jacket went well with them so I copped that too
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Just got pulled out of a line of 30+ people by a babyfaced security guard at the airport for “random additional screening” tho and he subsequently tore apart by carryon looking for what he wasn’t going to find - so I guess he ain’t a fan of the fit.
By this time tomorrow I’ll be in Belfast, Northern Ireland. But getting there ain’t going to be easy. First I gotta fly from here to Toronto and then from Toronto to Dublin before subsequently driving from there to Belfast - and I gotta do it all solo, too. It’s real nerve wracking, and I’ve been awake since 4AM stressing about it. The rest of my family are already over there so I’m linking up with them in Belfast but I’m on my own till then. Never done anything like this, honestly. Not even going solo into the remote British Columbia wilderness in search of the wreckage of old plane crashes compares to this because at least then I was still in my native land… and if I needed rescuing then the people coming to save my ass would have shared my accent lol
I love flying tho, and I’m pretty excited about it - but then I remember why I’m flying and I’m immediately filled with guilt. It’s ironic tho - because not so long ago I decided to try to explore my love for aviation by spending more money than I care to admit on Microsoft Flight Simulator + high quality flight controls; and was toying with the idea of just booking random cheap flights to wherever on my weekends just so that I could experience flying again. Now I’m doing just that - but it’s not random nor is it for my enjoyment. Instead it’s my grandmothers funeral that I’m flying to.
Her death still hadn’t sunk in yet. Like, I know she’s gone - but I haven’t felt the loss yet. If that makes any sense.
I’m numb to it.
And I think it’s going to stay like that until the funeral itself when it’s all going to hit me like a wall - and I’m honestly afraid of how much grief/pain I’ll be feeling in that moment. Idk how well I’ll be able to hold it together. Like, I’ve been fortunate enough to have not had death hit me this close to home since I was 18 when one of my best friends passed away in an incredibly tragic freak accident. I remember being completely numb to it, and I didn’t shed a tear until the day of the funeral itself when his father approached me and shook my hand at which point I instantly started sobbing uncontrollably while he turned the handshake into a hug that seemingly lasted forever. I probably would have collapsed had he not been holding me - I was crying that hard.
Idk.
Not exactly sure why I’m saying all this. It’s just my nerves, I guess - tryin’ to occupy my mind. Like don’t get me wrong - flying is one hell of an experience that I enjoy very much - but still… can’t help but start pondering your own mortality beforehand. The drive to the airport is always the strangest feeling because in the back of your mind you’re always thinking - did I just leave home for the last time ever?
I paid extra to not only have window seats but in an emergency exit row, too - and that wasn’t just for the extra leg room.
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But rather because it comes with a responsibility. It ain’t much, and it doesn’t make me feel special or anything - but each time I board and plane and get extra attention from the flight crew making sure that I’m both willing to take that responsibility and understand what is being asked of me it really helps to alleviate anxiety because then I know what I can do to help in a situation where I’d otherwise be completely helpless. Like, I have something to focus on - if shit hits the fan and the pilots manage to get us back down to earth with an evacuation being required then I know what to do in order to help the people around me. I have my role. I have my purpose. And as long as I’m not physically incapacitated then I have my duty.
It’s not much. But it’s better than nothing.
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Anyway, here’s the lil’ beauty that will be taking my on the first leg of my journey. If this ends up being my last post ever then ya’ll know I should have booked a different flight lol
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katetheworm · 2 years
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Requested By: anonymous
“May I request a oneshot for Thrawn x female reader?
The reader being his highly capable bodyguard and assistant, she is tough and dedicated and would never admit that she caught a bad cold on the winter planet or that she has a crush on Thrawn.
Well he is not letting her get out of admitting either one.”
Note: I am so so sorry for not posting this sooner. I know it’s annoying to hear, but life, y’know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little fic, I think it’s cute even tho it’s very different than anything I’ve written before lol. I love Thrawn tho, so it’s okay-
Pairing: Thrawn x Female/Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: None, other than sickness
Rating: G
Words: 1,395
Snowy Planets
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Working on the Chimera had its perks. And its downfalls, though you would never admit to any of them. 
As a security officer, you had, in your opinion, one of the most important jobs on a Star Destroyer: Protect the Grand Admiral. Even though he clearly did not need any help in protecting himself, Imperial code dictates that every commanding officer have security personnel, and for a Grand Admiral, that meant the absolute best. 
You had seen time and time again that Thrawn was extremely capable, both mentally and physically. He had even asked you to spar with him a few times. He always beat you, but the experience was well worth it. 
You liked to think that you always exuded loyalty and professionalism while on the job. You stood at your post, helping the Grand Admiral when needed, but always maintaining that dedication you strived for. That day was no exception, save for the fact that you were on Hoth and you felt miserable. 
Usually the cold and the snow didn’t bother you, but for some reason this one specific trip did not agree with you. It wasn’t as though you were vomiting and could barely move, it was just a damn cold. And there was no kriffing way you would let a cold take you away from your duties.
You knew you could easily go to a med droid and ask for a stim or something to alleviate the pain in your throat or your stuffy nose, but then that droid would have to report to Thrawn and you knew he would make you rest. Not only that but you couldn’t bear having Thrawn’s attention on you like that. It was already hard enough with your crush on the man- Wait no. You didn’t like him like that. No way.
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you splashed some cold water on your face before looking into the mirror. Oh great. You felt like shit and you looked like shit. This day could not get any worse. You reached into your bag and pulled out a small makeup kit. You rarely used it, but today might be the right time to do so. Just to bring a little life back to your cheeks.
After doing so, you shrugged on your coat over your uniform, the hood with its fluffy trim tickling your nose causing you to sneeze quite loudly. You took a deep breath in. It was just a few more days on this forsaken planet and then you would be back with the warmth of the Chimera. 
Shaking away those thoughts, you grabbed your blaster and vibroknife, securing them at your side before leaving the tent and going out into the cold wasteland of Hoth. 
You caught up with another security officer, a man named Presley, on your way to the Grand Admiral’s tent. Presley took one glance at you and grimaced. “Rough night, huh?”
Stuffing your hands into your pockets you shrugged. “Just this blasted weather.” Presley didn’t look convinced. “I’m fine. Really. No need to worry.”
You distantly heard him scoff behind you as you walked away, fighting the urge to sneeze once again. 
Thrawn’s tent was not much farther and even before you reached it, you saw that he was already outside, talking to another officer. You felt your breath catch in your throat as he almost immediately turned around and made eye contact with you. You stood at attention a few moments later than you should have – although you blamed it on the cold, not any emotions that may be swirling in your mind. 
The Grand Admiral nodded at you, then at Presley, his hands clasped behind his back as he made his way over to you. “Lieutenants, unfortunate circumstances have led to our speeders in need of repairs. However, there is still a need to reach our destination today, I hope you don’t mind the cold too much.”
His voice, soft and low, almost had a teasing tone to it at the end. And it seemed directed solely at you. You must have been imagining things. 
With nothing else to say, Thrawn glanced at you once more before walking past you, not a word needed to you or Presley as you immediately began to follow him through the icy weather. You truly hoped the damned cold would go away. 
...
You trudged through the snow behind the Grand Admiral, his white coat making him almost blend in with the landscape around you, contrasting greatly with your black one. You already felt the ache in your bones, your body starting to sweat even though you felt freezing. You had snuck some med packs to try and take care of the fever, but apparently being out in the snow for that long brought it straight back. 
You hadn’t even noticed you were lagging behind until Thrawn was right in front of you, his expression muddled from your feverish mind. 
“Lieutenant…”
His voice was distant, garbled to the point of being unintelligible. A hand rested on your shoulder, although to you it felt like a sack of weights as your body hunched over, leaning on the figure in front of you. The blurry world around you soon fading into darkness.
… 
You regained consciousness slowly, your eyesight still blurry, your body pumped with stims. As your eyes scanned the room, things became clearer. You were in a med center. But how…
Just wonderful. You must have passed out while out with the Grand Admiral. Now you were both sick and extremely embarrassed. You wouldn't be surprised if you were demoted as well. Although you knew Thrawn would never do that based solely on you being sick. 
Moving to sit up, you grimaced in pain, your head throbbing despite the amount of painkillers coursing through your body. 
“I wouldn’t move too much, if I were you.”
A deep voice startled you, a gasp leaving you before you turned your head to the side, the room becoming more clear, including the only other person inside. 
“Thrawn! I mean- Grand Admiral, sir, I didn’t expect– I didn’t know you were in here.”
The chiss sat in a chair beside your medical bed, his legs crossed, arms folded in his lap. How long has he been sitting there? “At ease, Lieutenant, there’s no need to get up on my account.”
His statement didn’t exactly put you entirely at ease, but it definitely helped, allowing your tense muscles to relax as you leaned back against the pillows. “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what came over me earlier…”
Thrawn raised up a hand, silencing your apology. “You had no control over the circumstances. I only wish you had told me before we departed and I would have sent you straight to the medbay.”
You flushed, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, this was not how you intended the day to go, much less with the Grand Admiral to be sitting in the medbay beside your bed. He leaned forward in his chair, his striking red eyes boring into your head, willing your gaze to move up and meet his own. It was always strange to be eye to eye with Thrawn, with just one look he seemed to be able to tell all your secrets, all your insecurities. It was frightening, yes, but in some ways it was also… comforting. Like you didn’t have to hide around him, and although you would never admit it, you always felt comforted by his presence. Thrawn was an anchor, a rock you could count on even through the toughest of situations. 
A hand rested itself on your bed, right beside your own, grabbing your attention immediately. “Please do know that I want you to be healthy first and foremost. Presley can take over when needed, you must keep yourself in top shape before you can even think of protecting me.” His words startled you a bit, having served with self-centered imperials most of your career, having Thrawn, who truly cared about your well-being was like a burst of fresh air.
Finding your voice, you smiled a little, most likely the most emotion you had shown in front of the chiss ever. “I… Thank you, sir.”
“Please,” Your eyes lifted from the hand resting beside you, staring into the depths of his red gaze once more. “Call me Thrawn.”
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httpdabi · 3 years
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AmongUs
Summary: You decided to play AmongUs with your best friend and troll some randoms in there, what you didn’t really expect was to meet an extremely handsome stranger that has to offer you things your ex boyfriends never did.
Genre: smut, romance, No quirks looool
Word count: 7.5k
Warnings: 18+ (minors fuck off kindly), creampie, multiple orgasms, fingering, forced orgasm, daddy kink, dom!Dabi, orgasm denial, praising!
I had lots of fun writing this! Hope you enjoy it <3
,, Girl, you promised that you’ll come over tonight’’ you whined loudly over the phone, as your best friend Nejire told you that she won’t be able to make it, breaking your plans into tiny little pieces. Damn her childhood friend and his whole family deciding to come exactly today over, ruining your perfect evening with your best friend.
,, Yeah, but we can drink and play, doesn’t matter if we ain’t together, I’m sure he’ll like to play with us ‘’ you could almost feel her smile on the other line, and with only that you couldn’t even think about being mad at her, knowing very well how much she loves that guy. Probably in a way that no friends love each other.
,, Yeah, yeah. But girl, if you dich me tonight and let me troll people on my own, I’ll never forgive you’’ you smiled, knowing very well that she won’t do that. The two of you spend too much time playing stupid games together, drinking till you are comfortable enough to argue with strangers online, and troll the shit out of them.
Since it was weekend, and you were spending time on your own, you decided to start drinking a bit earlier. Turning on a movie, you started sipping on your wine, exchanging some texts with your best friend every now and then.
Your first glass was done way too fast, and you were already sitting in front of your computer with your forth glass beside the keyboard, and a cigarette in your right hand, texting a code to Nejire as you puffed on your cigarette.
The moment you saw one familiar and one not so familiar usernames getting into the private lobby , you smiled widely once Nejire started laughing loudly.
,, HAHAHA BITCH WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT’’ she screamed, as her lover boy giggled quietly beside her, probably too shy to say anything.
,, What is wrong with Kentuckycriedfricken?’’ you asked, as you slowly tapped with your fingers over the table. Well, you weren’t so creative tonight, but you could only blame alcohol on that.
,, Why the fuck are you called TURKEY_SANDWICH’’ you added another question, not giving her a chance to answer to your first one.
,,BECAUSE I’M CARVING ONE’’Nejire screamed, and in that moment you knew very well that she drank as much as you did, if not even more. You giggled to yourself, as you watched the room getting full, some people talking, some texting in the chat and some simply waiting.
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, once you saw all the people commenting START In the small chat box. There was something about it that was pissing you off, making you kick or ban anyone who writes it. This time, you were too busy laughing with your friend, and instead doing any of it, you simply started the game.
CREWMATE
You sighed in relief, taking a sip of your wine, as Nejire ran around you with her friend, singing loudly. Ignoring the two of them, you made your way to the Admin room, to swipe the card, not so surprised once you saw a crew of other players doing the same thing.
,,KENTUCKYCRIEDFRICKEN WHERE ARE YOU’’ you heard Nejire once she entered the room. Once she noticed the cyan color hiding in the crowd she hurried with her Pink character toward you.
,,Wanna watch me scan?’’ she asked, making you giggle as she just gave you the secret code, making sure you know that she’s the Impostor.
,,Nah, Imma pass’’ you said, getting out of the room. You were pretty sure she’ll win the game, since she had you and her friend on her damn side, but you did wish you could know who the other Impostor is. Ignoring her, you made your way toward the Weapons, to clear the damn Asteroids and just look for someone to play around with. These people were way too quiet for your taste.
,,Heyyyy what’s up man?’’ you almost screamed excitedly when you saw a dark blue character, hopefully a crewmate, standing there and clearing Asteroids, or you thought so. You forced your voice a pitch higher, giggling to yourself, knowing how stupid you sound.
,,Oh my god, how old are you?’’ the stranger asked. The moment you spoke, all the giggles were gone. That guys voice was so damn deep, you literally had to lit a cigarette before you decided to speak up again.
,,Old enough’’ you laughed, refusing to tell him your real age just now.
,,Older than 18?’’ he asked, as you were shooting those Asteroids, not that focused.
,, Of course’’ you gasped, rolling your eyes, like he might see you.
,, Thanks God.. Do you play Amongus often ?’’ he asked, not even knowing that his fucking voice was doing things to you.
,, Amongus is my favoire game’’ you said, finishing your task. The way he talked to you, you were almost sure that he was trying to troll you a bit there, probably thinking you are one of those uwu pick me girls.
,,Mhmm.. you’re up pretty late.. what’s your bed time?’’ he asked, and with that question you were more than sure that he was messing around.
,, Daddy beats me if I don’t go to bed at 9’’ you tried to hold your laugh, and you could almost hear the stranger doing the same thing you do.
,, Ohh, I could be your daddy and I would never do that to you ‘’ he said. In that moment, if it wasn’t for his voice, you would probably just laugh loudly and just go away. But damn, the way he said that.
,,HAHHAHA YOU CRAZY FUCK’’ You choked out, once you got out of your little dream, liking how he played along.
,, So that’s your real voice’’ he mumbled, small muffed laugh following the sentence, as you ran away from him. You didn’t hear a voice like that for a long time, and you really hoped that the dude will follow you around for the rest of the game.
Which at your surprise happened.
You were about to ask him some stupid question, but in that very moment someone found a fucking body.
,,Pink killed white and just jumped into the vent in front of me’’ some dude accused Nejire, and that’s when you knew that you have to jump in.
,, I saw Pink scan tho, so that makes you pretty sus dude’’ you lied without thinking twice. Yeah, you knew that it’s more fun if you play by the rules, and don’t team up.. but Nejire is rarely the Impostor and she’s always so damn excited when she wins.
,, Yeah, that’s Pretty sus… ‘’ your new friend said, probably believing you, since you two spent some short time together.
At the end of the short meeting, White was voted out.
You made your way to Reactor to do your task, and Nejire and her friend followed you, probably to look a bit clear to others. You hated the task you had to do, so you took your time, ignoring the loud laughs coming from your friend.
Shortly, the voice of Nejire was changed with the deep one.
,, So, what do you do usually?’’ he asked, as you tried to start the reactor. You had trouble with that task without being tipsy, so alcohol wasn’t really helping in your current situation.
,, I’m streets salesman of burgers’’ you joked, making him laugh a bit. Only to end up telling him that you are actually a student, having a mini job at the café near where you live. You weren’t even sure if his voice was making you speak up or the alcohol, but you almost found yourself telling him the story of your life.
,, Where are you going?’’ he asked you, as you made your way toward Electrical, stopping once the lights got off. You didn’t want to look sus to him, but you didn’t want to go there, since everyone knows that the first person that enters the room will end up dead.
,,Well, I wanted to go to electrical, to do my task, but not so sure about it anymore’’ you said honestly, running around him.
,, Come on, I’ll keep you safe’’ he laughed, and you followed him. The moment you were about to do your task, the game finished, showing how the Impostors won.
You heart almost skipped a beat when you saw In the chat box how your dark blue feiend was the second Impostor. You found it extremely cute that he had way too many chances to kill you and he never did. Instead of killing you, he was simply chatting with you.
CREWMATE
Usually you were the one to hate playing as impostor, always feeling the pressure and thinking that you’ll ruin the game for the other impostor, but tipsy like that, you wished you could be one now, and kill some crewmates around.
,, Doll, teaming ain’t nice’’ deep voice told you as you were downloading the data in the Cafeteria.
,, Awh, come on, she needs a bit of support’’ you said, focused on his voice more than on your task. ,,After all you just used me to clear yourself and look less sus’’ you added and he sighed loudly, acting shocked that you could even think of him like that.
You thought that the little play with the stranger will be just one time ‘’experience’’, but at your surprise he asked you for your instagram at the end. Usually you aren’t the one to share your personal information’s with others, and you also weren’t sure what you’re getting into, yet you found yourself giving him your username before you turned the computer off and drifted into a deep sleep.
Once you woke up, your phone was blown up with notifications, every single one from instagram. One text message and the rest of it were likes.
[Touyaf]:
,,Well, didn’t expect you to be this pretty.. super glad I met you there ’’
You smiled to yourself as you read the little message, with one of your post attached to it. Tapping on his username, your eyes almost widened in shock once you realized that not only his fucking voice was attractive. The dude was a motherfucking snack, and you had a pretty big luck that you found him in that silly lobby.
To Touyaf:
,, Heyy, you ain’t looking bad either lol same, let’s play together again ‘’
You replied, before you returned to his profile to like some photos he posted. Being honest, you didn’t know what to expect, but what you didn’t expect was a black haired guy, with piercings and tattoos covering his body. He definitely didn’t look like someone who spends his time on computer playing fucking Among us.
Hopping out of your bed, you made your way to get ready for the day. There were many things you planned to do, so you didn’t really want to waste your time. The faster you’re done, the more time you’ll have at the end.
After you packed all the post you had to send for your work, you headed to the bus station, hoping you’ll be able to catch the next bus. At your surprise Dabi was replying to your messages way too fast, making it one of the conversations where your eyes simply have to stay glued to your phone.
You found it almost funny how you ended up checking up your phone more often than usual, for someone you didn’t even meet yet. Sure, his profile looks legit, but the possibility that some attention thirsty freak is hiding behind that profile will be there till you meet him personally.
Once you finished everything up, you made your way toward the little Game shop, the one you were a well known costumer in. The now not so new Crash Bandicoot game that got out months ago was finally on the sale. You wanted to buy it the same day it got out, but $75 was too much, and it’s not like you’re shitting money.
The moment you bought the game, you wished you could fucking teleport yourself home, but sadly, you still had stuff to do and the game had to wait.
..
Your steps felt heavy, as you pushed yourself in the crowd, trying to keep your balance. Someone’s shoulder almost knocked you out, making your blood boil in just a damn second. Turning your head to the side, more than ready to fight, a smile crept on your face once you realized who you’re facing.
,, OH MY fucking god ‘’ you gasped, pointing every word out.
,, Woww, you’re alive’’ your cousin laughed, once she realized that you were ready to throw some hands. You really wanted to go home, but since ALL OF SUDDEN, both you and your cousin had some time, she forced you to go grab a coffee with her.
The two of you wanted to meet for a long time, but yet none of you could manage to get some free time and meet.
,, Yeah, Kai went to that Music program. The whole town was voting for him, didn’t you know that?’’ she said, talking about your childhood friend that always wanted to become famous.
,, Wow, strong community ‘’ you joked, acting surprised. Even tho he was your friend, you had to be honest. He couldn’t sing for shit.
The two of you ended up spending much more time than you planned to, and you ended up not minding it at all. You actually enjoyed talking about random shit form the last with her.
,, Wow, I didn’t think Bonnie is still alive. That dog could sense us from far away, so weird’’ your cousin said, sipping on her now cold coffee. ,, You think she would still smell or sense me if I would be on my way to your parents house ?’’ she added, eyes almost twinkling excitedly.
,, She can definitely smell your stinky ass’’ you joked, playing with the metal straw in your drink.
,, Oh eat shit, I’m sweating so much that I’m showering two times a day’’ she protested, slapping your arm playfully.
,,And even that ain’t helping’’ you laughed loudly once you saw her disgusted face.
The two of you finally parted ways, once you told her that you have some other important plans, deciding its better not to tell her that you’re dying to go home and play the game you bought.
You almost teared up once you were finally in your pajamas, laying comfortably on your couch and playing the game. You almost teared up, when you chose the retro function of the game, where you can get and loose life, thinking you’re the old school gamer. Oh, how fast you changed it once you realized how hard the game is.
After playing the game for two hours, you realized that you definitely won’t be able to finish it in one night. You were glad that the production was aiming for the old public, but you didn’t expect it to be that hard.
[Touyaf]:
,,The game is dope as fuckkkk, but too easy imo’’
You smiled when you saw that he replied to the picture you posted on the story.
To Touyaf:
,, Are you insane ? I’m on the same level thirty fucking minutes now :( ‘’
You replied, as you continued with the game, only to pause it after one minute of gameplay just to check your phone when you saw the instagram notification.
[Touyaf]:
,, Want me to help you?’’
To Toyuaf:
,, How ?’’
[Touyaf]:
,, Send me your address ‘’
Your eyes widened when you saw what he wrote, too scared to open the message he sent you. Of course you wanted to meet him, but so fast ? And at this time ?
Was that really smart ?
Well, it doesn’t matter if it’s smart or not, you ended up sending him your address, last name and running around in the middle of the night and cleaning your apartment anyway. You found yourself smiling the whole time while hysterically cleaning around. You didn’t know if he is living near or far, yet there was so much to do. It was very visible that you weren’t expecting any guests.
Luckily for you, it took him some time to arrive, giving you a chance to clear everything nicely and throw your clothes that were laying around into the closet.
The moment you heard the doorbell you got nervous like a little teenage girl that was about to go on her first date and the moment you opened the door, you were more than sure that you made the right decision when you sent him your address.
Was is possible that someone could be that handsome ? At one point you thought that he was just photogenic when you scrolled his Insta feed, you thought maybe he knew his angles. But damn, the dude standing in front of you was someone you would spread your legs for without thinking twice.
,,Hey, nice to finally meet you’’ he said, giving you a small hug which you definitely didn’t expect. ,, You look even prettier than on photos’’ he added, smiling at you.
,, You think? Thank you. You too’’ you said awkwardly. Usually you are much more confident, and you don’t have problem with communication, but the fact that this handsome dude you barely know, is in your apartment, made your legs shake.
,, I mean, you are really handsome’’ you added fast, trying to break that creepiness in your voice, giving yourself a mental facepalm once you realized that he was holding back his laugh. You almost looked like fucking Bella from Twilight. Was that necessary ?
,, What do you want to drink? Tea ? Coffee? Orange juice ? Wine ?’’ you asked, preparing the glass. He probably noticed how nervous you are and that made you even more nervous. Everything that could go wrong, is going wrong right now.
,, Well, I’m really up for some wine’’ Touya said as he sat comfortably on your couch.
THANKS GOD. You weren’t sure if you would be able to survive being in the same room with him while drinking a fucking chamomile tea.
,, You can’t beat this level? This one ?You can’t be for real’’ he laughed, as you placed two glasses and one bottle of wine on the table.
,, Are you dissing my gaming skills ?’’ you laughed, pouring the wine in the glass while he was playing the game like it was nothing.
,, Ah please, how many times did you paly it ?’’ you whined loudly, as he played almost perfectly.
,, Oh thanks God, you are a smoker, I was already stressing myself out if I’ll have to go out for every cigarette’’ Touya said once he saw you lit a cigarette.
After your second glass of wine, all the nervousness was gone. The two of you were having pretty much a fun time playing the game and drinking together.
,, What are you doing ???’’ he asked, almost screaming once you died in the game, without getting to the checkpoint.
,, MY BEST, I’M DOING MY BEST’’ You screamed back, throwing the controller to his direction, one again feeling defeated.
After that night, Touya started visiting you more often, and every night he would visit you, the two of you would drown a bottle of wine. You didn’t expect him to be such a cool person actually. In your opinion he did look like someone who’s full of himself.
Also, when you told Nejire that you met the dude from Among us, she immediately started lecturing you about how he could have killed you, totally ignoring the fact that you were standing in front of her alive and more healthy than you ever were.
,, Anyway, they have one appointment free today ‘’ Nejire said, as the two of you walked down the street, going to your usual café.
,, What are you talking about ?’’ you asked confused.
,, About escape room you stupid bitch’’ she said, hitting your arm lightly like she was talking about it clearly before.
,, Nejire, if the two of us go, one hour won’t be enough for us to get out of it’’ you pointed, knowing very well that neither of you is capable of figuring anything out on your own, especially not some scary ass escape room.
,, Ye, but I can ask Mirio to come, and you can ask the Dabi dude’’ she said, rising her eyebrows at you. Well that wasn’t a really bad idea actually.
Both Mirio and Dabi agreed, and while sipping on your coffee the two of you reserved the room. It was pretty much unplanned, and you had around 2 hours until your appointment, but you were really glad it worked out.
,, Girl, you should see my little sister today, girlie is only 3 years old, and she already flirts better than you and me together’’ Nejire giggled, as you gave her one questioning look.
,, She met some boy at playground today. You should see the looks they were giving each other. They even started talking in their baby language, discussing something’’ she said, making you laugh as you imagined her baby sister hitting on some other kid. You were never a person that could deal with kids, but her sister was really special.
Once the Mirio arrived, Nejire got all quiet, which almost made you laugh out loud, since she’s nothing like that usually. She did tell you before, that the two of them hooked up after one of the birthday parties you attended, but you almost forget about that.
,, What can I get you?’’ the waiter asked Mirio, as you and Nejire talked excitedly about escaperoom.
,, One Matte Lacchiato’’ Mirio said, trying to follow what you were talking about, while the waiter was looking at him confused, not sure if he’s joking or not.
,, You mean Latte macchiato ??’’ Nejire asked, trying to hold her laugh. The moment the waiter left, none of you had to hold it back anymore.
,, Dude, Matte Lacchiato ? Really?’’ you laughed loudly.
,, Fuck off, I’m not a coffee person’’ Mirio snapped, his face all red from embarrassment.
,, One Paccuccino please’’ you joked, making Mirio roll his eyes.
,, One Sepresso please’’ Nejire laughed loudly , while Mirio was mumbling something under his breath, hating the both of you in the moment.
,,By the way, I don’t like this thing, tastes like nothing’’ he said, as giving it to Nejire to try it out.
,, Out of 1 to 10, how many points would you give to this Matte Lacchiato?’’ Nejire asked, giggling, giving him a sign that she’ll never forget the silly mistake he said.
,,2 points. One for having balls to sell it, and another one because I’m such a good hearted person’’ he said, pushing the drink to the side.
The moment you saw Touya enter the café, you started waving around with your hands, helping him find you.
,, What took you so long ?’’ you asked, as he took a seat next to you. He looked good as usual, wearing oversized purple shirt, and black pants with nike airforce.
,, I was in the middle of a jog when you texted me’’ he said putting his both hands in the air, feeling attakced.
,, Oh that sounds fun’’ you joked, as you rolled your cigarette.
,, Yeah? I’ll call you next time to come with’’ he said, also rolling a cigarette, while giving you a side look.
,, Not that fun’’ you laughed.
,, dude, the last time we jogged together, she had to call a taxi to bring her back home’’ Mirio said, making Touya laugh.
,, Trueeee, I had to pour water all over her face when we were jogging together’’ Nejire added, remembering the accident that happened back in the days.
,,Oh shut up, I had to put your fucking legs up hoping you wont collapse’’ you laughed. Sure, both Mirio and Touya were in better shape than you, but Nejire ? Girl was on the same level.
,, And stop it, stop dissing me! I’m a victim of a hate crime right now” you whined loudly, as all of them laughed.
When the time came, all of you made your way to the escaperoom. After you checked in and paid, you and Touya went out to smoke one more cigarette since you had some time before the game starts.
,, So, what will you do after this ?’’ Touya asked, placing his arm around you as you puffed on your cigarette.
,, I don’t have any plans yet, why ? Wanna come over ?’’ you asked, mentally holding your shit together once he said that he’ll gladly come.
He was too close, wayyyy too close. You could even smell his fucking perfume.
Once the game started all of you were more than lost, having hard time finding the clues. You were in some basement looking room with tons of books. Touya and you found the first clue, some numbers written on the small closet as a code for opening the box that Mirio found.
Mirio found the second code, that led you to the box with the key that was opening the door.
,, Oh my god guys, there are number on the closet’’ Nejire screamed loudly, making all of you laugh.
,, Sweetie we passed that part long time ago.’’ Mirio said pinching her cheek. You were pretty sure that she was a bit lost, because Mirio was giving her way too much attention.
The next room was even darker than the first one, full of some weird family photos, crosses and blood. All of you were trying to work together, you agreed to use the Woky toky only when needed, yet the person who held it didn’t really give a shit about your agreement.
,, We need help’’ Mirio said, while the rest of you whined loudly since it was probably the third time he’s using it by now.
,, Dude, do you like the worker here ?’’ you asked him, as you took the photo of the wall.
,, No, why?’’ he asked you back, almost confused.
,, Because you are constantly talking to him. I swear you didn’t even talk to your ex that much ‘’ you said, making Touya laugh a bit.
The game continued with all of you in a rush to figure things out. One clue led to another one, and you opened some small room, where someone had to go inside to pull some weird looking rope.
Luckily for all of you, Mirio volunteered. The moment he pulled the rope down, some weird as cockroaches fall down on him, making him get out of the small room faster then he got in there.
,, Fucking shit, I didn’t sign for this’’ he whined, sighing in relief once he realized that those cockroaches are plastic one.
,, I swear, if that shit fell onto me, I would smash the red button without thinking twice’’ Nejire said in disgust.
,, This game is hard as fuck’’ you sighed, as you held some weird box with some knifes in your hand.
,, Wanna know what else is hard ?’’ Touya said quietly, making your eyes widen in shock.
,, Excuse me?’’ you couldn’t believe what he was asking you, here in front of your friends.
,, This cross. Oh my god, didn’t expect you to be that dirty minded doll’’ Touya laughed loudly, making you blush. In your Defense, he sounded like he was talking about his dick. He definitely didSl.
At the end, the 4 of you made it out of the room few minutes before the game ended. The moment you opened the door, you found the worker that explained the game and led you to the room standing in front of the very same door. Probably ready to get you all out.
,, This was so embarrassing ‘’ Nejire laughed as all of you got out of the building.
,, Yeah, imagine if we didn’t figure it out, what would he tell us ? Sorry but yall have to die now’’ Mirio said.
,, Well, maybe if you used the time we had for figuring everything out, instead of talking with the dude over the Wokytoky, MAYBE we would do better’’ you laughed, as Mirio told you to fuck off.
After Mirio and Nejire left, you and Touya made your way to your apartment, still talking and laughing about the whole game.
The two of you played among us, teaming up against some randoms on a whole new level. He was sitting way too close to you, like there was no place on the couch at all. Of course, you didn’t mind that, but you would lie if you said that you could focus on the game fully.
,, You are so cute’’ Touya pointed when you killed someone in front of him, not even hiding the fact that you are teaming.
He was complimenting you and being touchy with you more then usual.
,, So, are you really into daddy kink?’’ you asked, as you remembered the first time you played together.
,,Maybe ‘’ Touya smirked, focused on the game.
,, Naughty naughtyyy’’ you laughed, killing some other crewmate.
Once you had enough of the game, the two of you ended up just chit chatting about some stupid things, still in the same position as you were in before. The only difference was that Touya was slowly caressing your skin.
,, You wanna sleep over ?’’ you asked, once you realized that it was getting really late.
,, Well, definitely not if I have to crash on this couch’’ he said, making you giggle quietly.
,, Ah, you know I wouldn’t let you sleep here.’’ You mumbled quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.
,, Awhh, is my little doll implying that I can share her bed with her ?’’ Dabi teased. His arm was wrapped around you, rubbing small circles on your right hip gently.
,, Maybe ?’’ you said, trying to focus on anything else than his hand playing around.
,, Anyway, doll, I want to ask you something’’ he muttered, stopping his movements suddenly. You changing your position to have a better look of him, was your answer to go on.
,, Do play a lot with other people online?’’ he asked. You blinked slowly, not sure if that’s really a question he wanted to spit out. It seemed like it would be something more important.
,, Uh, I’m usually playing with Nejire. Why ?’’ you replied, confusion written all over your face. At your surprise, Dabi wrapped his arms around you, forcing you onto his lap like you were a small and weightless playtoy.
,, You know, I don’t like sharing what’s mine. ‘’ he expressed, placing his both hands on your tights, moving them up and down slowly.
,, Yours ?’’ you weren’t sure what was going on, and you definitely didn’t expect that silly question to go this way.
,, Doll, you’ve been mine the moment you sent me your address. What I meant was, you’ve met me so easily, I sure hope you ain’t like that with everyone on the internet.’’ His voice was somehow even more deeper than usual, and maybe it’s weird, but the position you were in was lowkey turning you on.
Maybe the fact that his behavior changed so fast, maybe the fact that he wanted you all for himself .
,, Honesty, I never share my personal information online, since you never know who’s hiding on the other side, but there was something about you. I just wanted to stay in contact with you’’ you responded, playing with your fingers like a lost child.
Instead of replying, he placed his hands on your cheek, pulling you slowly into a kiss, which you accepted gladly. It was the first time you felt such huge attraction for someone, and you were more than happy to give him anything he wants.
Maybe it’s weird to feel such a thing for someone you didn’t know that well, but everyone starts somewhere, right ?
His hands were going up and down your waist, lips never leaving your own. The moment you put your arms up, helping him remove the shirt you were wearing, you felt him smirk into the kiss. Once your shirt was off, he leaned back into the couch, having a better view of you, half naked sitting in his lap.
His right hand was playing with the strap of your bra, and the other one was holding you on his lap firmly. To him, you were the most beautiful little thing that he placed his eyes on, and he was more than grateful that you didn’t freak out because of his small confession.
You couldn’t wait anymore. Bending over, you connected your lips with his own again. His hands moved to your ass, giving it one good squeeze, before he got a firmer grip of you, pushing you up with himself and making his way to your bedroom.
Once he placed you on your bed, he took his shirt of, throwing it somewhere on the floor, as he climbed on top of you. All you could do was close your eyes and moan quietly once you felt his lips on your neck, sucking and biting it gently.
His lips were moving down, from your neck to your chest. From your chest to your stomach, leaving wet love bites on his way down.
Once he got so low, that he was almost between your legs, he unbuttoned your pants slowly, pulling your panties just a little bit down to leave kisses down there.
After few kisses, he gave you a sign to push your hips up a bit, and you did so. The moment you did it, Touya pulled your pants, together with your underwear down, leaving you in nothing else than your bra.
,, Take of your bra’’ he commanded, as he got lost between your legs. You wanted to do it, you really did, but once you felt his tongue on your pussy, you weren’t capable to even think straight, yet to remove your bra.
He was sucking and biting your clit, like no one ever before, making you throw your head back into your pillow as you enjoyed what he was giving you. You cradled your hands into his hair, as you felt thousand things at the same time. You’ve never desired someone so much, and the fact that the person you desired like no one else in your whole life was between your legs eating you out, was driving you crazy on a whole new level.
Dabi felt the same, it was the very first time he felt pleasure while he ate someone out, he was craving you like a mad man.
His tongue was doing wonders to you, and the moment you felt his finger slowly enter you, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to get control over yourself.
,, Gotta loosen up my doll a little bit’’ he mumbled, savoring your pussy. The way he ate you out was getting sloppier and sloppier. Once he added another finger, your grip on is hair got stronger, giving him a sign that it hurts a bit.
,, Baby, how will you take my dick if you ain’t capable of taking ony two fingers ?’’ he looked up, smirking at you. Once you gave him a weak nod, he started moving his fingers in and out of you, slowly, giving you time to adjust.
Once he heard you moan, he started moving his fingers a little faster, as he started to rub your clit with his other hand.
,,Oh god’’ you moaned loudly, as pleasure took all over your body. Your orgasm hit you pretty unexpectedly, making you hide your face with your hands in embarrassment. You never came so quickly.
He definitely knows what’s he doing. None of your ex boyfriends made you cum so fast. All they did was simply missionary sex, with no talk at all. Few humps and done.
,, Open your mouth’’ Touya commanded, not giving you a chance to understand what was going on and why he wanted you to open your mouth for him. You felt two wet and sticky fingers rub your lips. You couldn’t even open your mouth fully, as he already shoved his two fingers in it.
,, Suck’’ grabbing your hands with his own and pushing them down, he had to see you, even tho he knew very well how embarrassed you felt in that moment.
Of course you did as he told you, as he held your chin, forcing you to look right at him as you cleaned his fingers that just pleasured you.
,, Such a good girl’’ Touya said, caressing your cheek gently, before he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, trying to free his throbbing dick out of the pants.
,, Didn’t I tell you to take your bra off ?’’ he asked, smirk forming on his lips. ,, Oh, so you don’t like to follow daddys orders ?’’ he added, climbing on top of you.
,, I ..’’ you didn’t even know what you wanted to say, you honestly forgot that you even had your bra on. Instead of saying anything, Touya only laughed, flipping you on your stomach, as he unclipped your bra in one movement.
,, I really wanted to be gentle with you, but if you are not capable in following small orders what will happen later with the big ones?’’ he asked, kissing the back of your neck slowly. You weren’t sure what to say, for you, that wasn’t a big deal, and honestly you didn’t know much about daddy kink.
,, Sorry daddy’’ you said, closing your eyes. It felt weird to call him daddy, but now that you knew that he likes it, you did it anyway.
,, Sorry doesn’t help doll. Daddy has to fuck you into obedience’’ he said, pulling the lower part of your body up. He took a good look of you, before he started rubbing the tip of his dick around your core. The view of you, with your ass up made his dick twitch, and he couldn’t wait anymore.
He shoved his dick into you with one move, forcing your body to move away from him out of the reflex. But Touya wasn’t buying that, grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking you back.
,, You good?’’ He asked. You could hear concern in his voice, and you found it really cute how he suddenly changed.
,, Yes, that was hot ‘’ you said embarrassed, glad he was not facing you.
,, Good, because I ain’t stopping’’ with that, he started rocking his hips into you, as he pulled your head back, hand still holding your hair keeping you in the place he wanted you to be in.
So much about the concern.
,, So fucking tight’’ he groaned, as he fucked fast and hard into you, making your bed crack with every move. You found yourself moaning louder then before, it felt like he was forcing every moan out of you with every snap of his hips against your own.
The moment you felt his fingers on your clit, your walls squeezed around him. Once again embarrassed that you are so close, so fast.
,, Oh nah, you ain’t gonna cum yet’’ he whispered in your ear, leaving your clit and grabbing your hips with his both hands.
,, Ehhh pleaseeee, please daddy’’ you moaned, pushing the embarrassment away.
,, Baby, If you cum now, I’ll make sure you cum at least two more times before I finish you want it or not’’ he said, stopping his movements. Usually, when you had sex you were lucky if you could orgasm even once, since the guys only thought about themselves. You weren’t really sure if you could do it for him. You weren’t sure if you were capable to do it at all.
,, I’ll take that as yes’’ Touya laughed, moving his hips suddenly, his hand back on your clit and rubbing it so fast that he literally forced the orgasm he stopped few moments ago.
You moaned loudly, losing the power in your body. If Touya wasn’t holding you, you would definitely just fall down. He moved his hips slowly, making sure your orgasm lasts long enough for you to see the stars.
Once he was sure you are done, he flipped you over onto your back, spreading your legs with his hands, as he gave you one passionate kiss. You were too focused on the kiss, not realizing that he entered you again, only to realized it once he started moving again.
He was fucking you like there was no tomorrow, not breaking the kiss at all. You could feel his dick hitting your cervix with every move. You found yourself wrapping your arms around him, trying to find some comfort while he fucked the light out of you.
,, Come on baby, cum for your daddy’’ he groaned, enjoying how tightly your walls were squeezing him in that moment.
,, I can’t, oh my god, I really can’t ‘’ you whined, digging your nails into his skin, as he once again started playing with your clit. You felt both pain and pleasure while played with it, forcing the third orgasm out of you.
,, Of course you can, look at you, such a good girl’’ This time he didn’t slow down, letting you enjoy it, instead he was fucking you even harder and faster then before, making the orgasm that hit you almost painful, but yet still good and pleasurable.
With every move he did, you dag your nails deeper into the flesh of his back, moaning loudly not giving a single fuck if your neighbors could hear you or not.
,, One more baby’’ Touya groaned, hitting your g spot all over again. ,, Only one more baby, you can do it ‘’ he added as he rocked his hips against yours. You were so fucking sensitive, that you literally felt every vein of his dick rubbing against your walls. Maybe you were imagining, but it felt like you could literally feel the shape of his whole dick inside you, every inch of it.
He was fucking you in a reckless pace, once again rubbing your clit, while telling you how you’re such a good girl for him and how you’re gonna milk his cock so nicely. Once Touya felt that he was close, once he realized that he won’t last much longer, he started rubbing your clit with more pressure, forcing himself even more into you then before.
,, Come on baby, cum all over my cock’’ he groaned, as you moaned loudly. The moment he forced your last orgasm out of you, he groaned loudly as he was chasing his own high, painting your walls white with his seed.
The moment he came, he slowed down, still not stopping his movements completely. Fucking his seed deep into you. Because of the fact that you came fucking four times, and that he shoot loads and loads of his own seed into you, you were almost sure that you were already leaking on your bed.
,, Are you okay?’’ Touya asked, placing soft kissed on your neck, while his dick was still inside of you. ,, Did I go too far ?’’ he added, once he realized that you aren’t answering.
,, Oh god no, this was amazing’’ you whispered, tilting your head to the side. Touya kissed you, not being able to hold his smile at all. After the kiss, he wore his boxers and made his way to your bedroom, only to come back moments later with a warm towel.
After he cleaned you up, he helped you wear your panties, giving you his shirt instead of your own, before the two of you fall asleep in each others arms.
In that moment, you felt grateful for existence of that silly game where you met this handsome stranger. Who would have thought that Amongus can be a better match maker than Tinder.
You sure didn’t.
428 notes · View notes
burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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hawks_littledove.mp3
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— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.
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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks
word count: 5,018
a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.
kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist
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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.
That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.
It started as a mild obsession.
You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.
The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.
⇒ grey fullbuster x reader
The obsession grew worse.
So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.
Hawks Fierce Wings
It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.
It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.
Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.
The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.
“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.
The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.
Oh my god?!
It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.
Oh, motherfucking shit.
Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos. 
Each one was different.
Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob. 
You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.
The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.
And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.
It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.
You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created. 
There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.
It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all. 
But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.
The very first video was of the following:
Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.
After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.
There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.
You had to take a break five times during that audio.
Eventually, you do end up catching up.
Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.
Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.
A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!
You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.
i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri
He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.
You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.
But, oh?
Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.
Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.
listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦
You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.
Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:
Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything
A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands. 
Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties
And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.
.
..
.
Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.
At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part. 
Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.
But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed. 
To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.
Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.
You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.
But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week. 
The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.
Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.
Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.
Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?
Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?
Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio
Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’
Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out
He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.
You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.
And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.
Hawks: do u have earbuds?
Me: Yes?
Hawks: good put them on n pick up
The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.
Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.
Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit
[Accept]
You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.
“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.
“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head. 
“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”
“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”
“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”
“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”
“But, you picked up my call?”
“You said, or else!”
“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”
Your jaw drops.
It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.
“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”
“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”
“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”
“O-Oh my god…”
“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”
Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end. 
“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.
You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”
“Louder.”
“I’d be so lucky.”
“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”
“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.
“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”
You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.
“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”
“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.
Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.
“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.
“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”
Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.
“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”
“That’s not true!”
“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”
You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.
“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”
The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.
“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught. 
“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”
“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”
“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”
“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.
“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.
You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.
“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”
Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks. 
“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum. 
“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”
“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core. 
“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.
“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”
“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”
“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.
Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.
Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air. 
“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”
“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”
Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.
When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.
Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime  call me 03-9183-2495 ;)
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grapesodatozier · 3 years
Text
so close to the real thing (closer than you think)
rating: explicit
word count: 6.8k
summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.
You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.
tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them
notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!
read on ao3 or below!!
notsfw under the cut
Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.
There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.
Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.
It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.
There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.
But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.
He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.
Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.
Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.
It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.
Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.
Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.
Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:
hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me
Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.
fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type
Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.
there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.
His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.
oh, u dont think so?
why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;
Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.
But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.
you’d like that, wouldn’t you?
He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.
fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)
Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.
i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.
ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn
Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe
aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?
Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those
oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up
Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.
what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll
Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.
well fuck baby since ur begging ;)
Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.
What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.
Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.
Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.
He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?
As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.
He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.
He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.
Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.
“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.
“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”
Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”
Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.
“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.
Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”
Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.
Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.
“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.
“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.
“How did you recognize it was me?”
Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”
Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”
Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.
Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”
Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”
Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.
It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.
“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.
“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.
Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.
“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”
“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.
“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.
“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.
Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.
“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”
Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”
Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”
“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.
“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.
“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”
Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.
“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.
“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.
“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.
“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”
“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.
“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”
Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”
“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”
Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.
“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.
“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.
“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”
Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.
“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”
Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.
“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.
“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”
“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.
“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”
“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”
Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.
Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.
Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.
“Better, I hope?” he grinned.
“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”
“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”
Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”
Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”
Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”
“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.
“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.
“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”
“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”
“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.
“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”
Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.
Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.
“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.
“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.
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