#all that pain and money

[evilminji]

Wait a second...

You know how the Lazarus pit heal past injuries? I may be reading to many Trans!Danny fics or something but? How god damn PISSED would you be? There you are, heroically doing hero shit, going "Fuck you, Ra's!" As ya do, when... Oh no! You've been Le Stabbed!

Well shit... that looks both deep AND fatal!

You had a good run, you think. Saved some people. Were hot AF fuck doing it. Well, time to tearfully say goodbye to your best buddies while choking to death on your own insides. But what's this? Your team mate coming to SUPLEX YOU INTO THE GOO!!!??

Oh shit that burn! AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAARCHPLRGPPPPPGURGLE! *GOO NOISES* Oh Shit, I'm alive! Pissed and seeing green but ALI-.....

And then you look down.

Motherfucking GOO undid your fucking SURGERIES! You have (or NO LONGER HAVE your) bazongazas. Chest meats! You paid A LOT OF MONEY TO FIX THAT. It's on your god damn MEDICAL RECORDS. They are GOING to ask questions if you just SHOW UP and ask for them to REDO IT.

Insurance won't fuckin cover MAGIC GOO PITS. Oh look! THERES THE PIT RAGE KICKING IN! *unholy rage noises*

Like priority wise, yeah, the assassins are PROBABLY a more immediate issue? But what the FUCK, MAN D:< Transphobic Goo Pit! "Thats not how it wor-" TRANSPHOBIC. GOO. PIT!!! You gonna cover my SECOND round of surgeries, Mr "um, actually-"?! *sounds of horrific violence against Assassins*

Cause like? It would "fix" any surgery you had. Including preventive, cosmetic, life saving, general affirming, etc. The Pits are dumb. The hit a Reset on the you and everything else is a You issue. Sorry you have those "high risk of cancer" boobs Miss So-n-So! Shouldn't have got in the pit! Oh those wisdom teeth that won't fit in your mouth have VIOLENTLY forced their way back in, making horribly crooked your once perfect and expensive smile? Yooooouuuu proooooobleeeem~~~

#dc x dp #dp x dc #transphobic goo pit #body horro tw #i would be SO PISSED #all that pain and money #fucking GONE?! #fuck you Ra's #AND your goo pits

[gay-malevolent-wizard]

Share your wizard wisdom, I'll go first.

Never leave your explosive potions in places small children can reach.

#my ex wife still hasnt forgiven me #it never leaves my mind #all these years and i am unable to forget #you would think it gets easier eventually but it really dosnt #i wish it took me and not my precious Jeremiah #its important to never forget these things but its so painful sometimes #shadow wizard money gang #wizardcore #wizard #whimsical #evil wizard #wizardposting #wizard tumblr

[pallanophblargh]

Color! Composition still wonky, but this was done mainly to see how I liked the colors and such. I can reposition and resize birds/leaves/etc another time. And get a decent proper hexagon drawn up.

This has been an exercise in not letting perfection hold me back. I have to start getting back into art somehow, right?

#traditional media #colored pencil #avian #blue jay #Baltimore oriole #bird #wings #sketchbook #personal work #color study #green ash #red oak #im sure I’ll get fussy over the poses of both birds and branches before long #probably won’t work as a tattoo sleeve like I intended but I can always take it in for a consultation #as soon as I find out who I want to do it and if I can even handle the pain and all that #should dig up my loon one first because that will be slightly easier to endure #if I were smart I’d get a small tattoo first #probably a rusty patched bumble bee on aster let’s be honest #this would cost too much money to have done who am I kidding

[bamsara]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgauhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhghgg

#I have a schedule to get things done but my legs are not functioning without pain again today #and the brain shit is comng back #since i had to stop all treatments and medications ill just have days where I Cannot Do Anything and #i would pay real money to have this transfered to another day where I did not have Things To DO #I need a mech body that never faulters so I can be a productive beast #sara shush

[fellow-queer-birdguy]

I LOVE MY CANE!!

I have no leg pain at all???!! That's literally insane!?!! And no one commented on my cane, only the teacher asked what it was for and I said bad knees. None of my classmates cared?!!! Other regular people didn't care!!?! It's amazing! I felt so much more confident!!

#I LOVE MY CANE #IT WAS WORTH ALL MY MONEY #cane user #mobility aid user #mobility aids #cane #walking stick #chronic pain #disabled #chronic illness #pain log📋

[heulevescant]

Hi I'm Airy and I make these cute bottle necklaces! (the ones shown above are just examples of my work) I'm also disabled, and after health problems that keep causing me to miss work and expenses (including finger splints- being disabled is expensive lol) I'm attempting to get out of debt and regain some semblance of financial stability before I can start saving for top surgery.

Please consider checking out my etsy shop! (if the link isn't working my username is heulevescant on there as well)

LINK

I also sell vintage jewelry on mercari! Please feel free to reach out and make offers!

LINK

Thank you again, boosting is extremely appreciated!!!

#heulevescant shop update #again i appreciate you all!! it should also be noted for those who order I'm extra when it comes to making the boxes/packaging pretty lol #but yeah money has been extremely extremely tight lately and the stress caused by it just makes #my chronic pain flare up more and rinse and repeat

[solidsnakecake]

I firmly believe Kaz stole DD and took him to the USA when he ditched Motherbase and all those people.

Then DD became familiar with Dave. And Dave discovered his affections for dogs.

#kaz also took all the money as alimony #metal gear #metal gear solid v the phantom pain #metal gear solid #d dog #kazuhira miller #master miller #mgs david #solid snake #snavid

[moeblob]

Garet is literally so friend shaped. I can't believe how friend shaped this boy is. (top pic is actual dialogue)

#golden sun #garet #ivan #guys im sorry i spent all day on this and also a smidge of oc art #im in pain and im not going to die but wow #my sister was like do you want me to drive you to the hospital and i told her i do not have the finances for that so no #and then she texted me fifteen minutes later to say #if its only the money issue i will help cover the costs #and i wont say what she googled that made her so concerned as an end result but uh lets hope it aint that ??? #hopefully i can sleep tonight cause i have almost zero sleep in my system #bc i started to hurt a lil after midnight ?? like then i postponed sleep to take pain meds #and then woke up constantly and couldnt stay asleep #so i really just wanna go to bed

[sassy-bitch-since-2007]

Headcanon for Island of the Slaughtered : Of all the survivors (Gwen, Duncan, Katie, Lashawna, Cody, Izzy and Eva), only Cody felt bad about Heather dying. That's because she's never been mean to him, unlike with the others (especially Gwen and Lashawna). He wanted to go back and help her, but Gwen took hold of his hand and dragged him away- which was for the best, as both Cody and Heather would have died in that scenario.

I think, of all the campers on the Island, only Cody, DJ and Harold got along with Heather. That's because they saw some good in her, despite her mean and harsh personality.

Side-Note : More people felt bad about Noah's death due to the circumstances, but if he were to die differently (like Courteney or Heather) only Cody would've been affected by it. That's because, again, Noah's never been mean to him, unlike with the others.

#island of the slaughtered #i fully believe this #Also that's lowkey canon in the show lol. With her being in good terms with Cody in TDWT ; Harold helping her at the end of TDI/start of #TDA (yk to get the money?? Yk that special episode between the seasons) and whatever they had in TDA (I can not remember TDA that season #Was like a fever dream to me but I'm pretty sure she and Harold got along) ; her being nice to DJ in TDWT (yk it was a strategy but still #Can't remember her being mean to DJ. #Anyway if all characters has their personality from season 1 (when the action actually takes place) then both Noah and Heather are a pain #In the ass. Everybody lowkey hates them. Besides Cody for some reasons #island of the slaughtered noah #Island of the Slaughtered Heather

[genericpuff]

girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money

#this is a joke i am not excited #i am very much in pain #we cope with laughs #i hate the gauntlet of holidays and special occasions from december through to march #it's christmas then it's new years then it's valentine's and my husband and i's anniversary merged together and then it's my bday #all of that's done with now but both our wallets are hurting lmao #and worse yet i still can't even catch a break because now i need to prepare for conventions and tax season #at least one of those expo's will definitely pay for my taxes #and i'm thankful this year i have three to attend so i get to actually earn money from them LOL #but man the winter season this year was one of the worst i've ever seen for tattooing #it's starting to get a little bit back to normal now but i'm still on edge because it could go back to being dead again at any moment #i got this #i just wish i could breathe lmao

[naamahdarling]

.

#i feel like my presence here has narrowed so much because my life has narrowed so much to encompass mostly pain and frustration #with the medical system and disability and the state of my fucking country #and the occasional highlight of my cats #i can't work on my art #it's agonizing to even try and i wind up crying #and it's because this horseshit rigged system has ripped the safety out of it #i might as well give my work away for free since they want to take 100% of my earnings out of my check #which like i am not even remotely opposed to giving my work away (would prefer even) but we need the money and i'm not allowed to keep it #i don't know #my life is just so small right now and i don't know how to find meaning again in a world that keeps so much of what i love away from me #it's a slog and every day is the same #and nothing i do feels meaningful #except holding my cats and being with my boyfriend #and that's about all i can do.

[ugh-yoongi]

i would also like to say that it’s 10am and i full on SOBBED that “if you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate more” has become “if you’re afraid to crash, i’ll willingly receive you”

#this shit really is about growing up #and letting go of everything that caused your past self pain #and as someone who has spent a lot of time and money recovering from my childhood… #yoongi just gets it #letting go of all that anger is true freedom

[spacedace]

Part 2 of the House of Elle series is here!

It was those moments just before Tim left that stuck out in his mind the most. Draping the homemade quilt over Kon and Jane. Gently brushing the little girl’s wild, dark curls back from her face. Pressing a soft kiss to Kon’s forehead. The warmth that had burned in his chest as he just stood there for a beat and looked at them, peaceful for the first time in weeks. He imagined a world maybe not so far away where the two fell asleep like that on a different couch in a cozy living room, worn out from a happy day spent at the beach or the park or anywhere else they found joy and excitement. Where Tim was right there with them, helping to tuck the little girl safely between himself and Kon where no one could hurt her. - Elle tries to keep up the ruse of being a Kryptonian while trying to figure out a way back to her Grave with mixed results. People keep asking her questions she can't answer, Tim and Kon are way too nice to keep lying to and the world seems to have become an ectoplasmic wasteland. With her Core acting strangely and something dangerous looming on the horizon, Elle's quickly running out of time. It'll all be okay though, once she gets back to Amity Park and find Danny. She just has to get back.

#dpxdc #house of elle #kon and tim adopt elle au #timkon #tim drake #kon el kent #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #cassie sandsmark #found family #hurt/comfort #mind the tags yall #eventually we'll get to the fluffy found family stuff #but we're still riding the pain train for a bit longer #cassie doesn't get paid enough for this nonsense #technically she doesn't get paid at all but she and the rest of Young Justice have unlimited access to Tim's bank account #but still that's not enough money to deal with this nonsense haha

[velvetjune]

trying not to think about how barry joined blessed wellness retreat, which is absolutely the cult run by chester bless, who has to be aware that barry was involved with the awe at bright falls, and definitely has terrible future plans

#was anyone else emotionally devastated by every mention of Barry in alan wake 2 #and that he probably thinks he lost Alan and Alice both 😭😭😭😭😭 #and the manuscripts about having ptsd and having to stop the Andersons tour #and the money he put into the nursing home didn’t even work out bc it was stolen 😭 #any info on Barry was painful. please remedy leave Alan’s best friend alone #alan wake 2 #barry wheeler #alan wake 2 spoilers #control 2019 #only tagging bc blessed was all over control

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat). #the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates— #not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself” #but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference? #on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on