#also he was literally the only one who cried????

[allthelovehes]

Field Day Reunion* | Part 2

Summary: Harry finally takes Y/N home when Charlie is with his grandmother for the night.

Pairing: Singledad!Harry x Teacher!Y/N

Word count: 5K

Warnings: Lovemaking, oral f receiving, eager babies, exes to lovers?

A/N: I imagine Harry and Y/N to be British in this universe, so they went to highschool from age 11 - 16(ish) and college from 16 - 20(ish). Idk why but I felt the need to specify haha ENJOY LOVES

Harry and Y/N agreed to take things slow for the sake of Charlie. This means that they have been going on dates every now and then, but not every weekend because Harry doesn't want to just drop off his kid at Anne's, so he can go out with this woman. That doesn't mean however that they don't see each other.

Y/N started teaching Charlie's class a couple of weeks ago. Ever since then, Harry sees her every day because he is the one who drops Charlie off at school and picks him up later in the day. Those little moments are filled with loving glances and private jokes but also Harry teasingly flirting with the love of his life.

Yes, Harry is absolutely smitten by this woman. Given their history, he now believes that he shouldn't have let her go back then. Yes, being high school sweethearts who are going to different colleges isn't the perfect scenario for two love birds. They didn't want to do the long-distance thing when they were only 17, but Harry now knows it would've all been worth it.

He doesn't regret their decisions though. If the two of them never broke up, Harry would've never become a dad to Charlie and he wouldn't want to miss him for the world. The kid is his life, he'd literally give everything to see that little cheeky smile on the four-year-old's face.

Anne was a big fan of Y/N when they were teenagers, she was the sweetest girl so of course she approved of Harry dating her. So when Harry told his mom how Y/N is now Charlie's new teacher she was excited, to say the least. But when he told his mother that they had been on a date, her heart was filled with love. She was rooting for his son, finally meeting that happiness he was so dearly craving.

So, from the moment Harry announces to his mom about him and Y/N taking it slow, Anne has done anything in her power to help Harry out. Taking over babysitting duty whenever she can and just keeping the little boy out of her son's way. Hinting at her son how she's free next Saturday, in case Charlie wants to come play at grandma's house. Just, everything.

And that's exactly why, this afternoon, he decides to take his mom up on that offer. Harry and Y/N have been on four official dates so far and not once has he taken her home. It felt a bit too forward, too soon. But today was different, Harry invited her over to his house, show her around and make his intentions very clear, she's a keeper.

“Char, come on. Put your shoes on, grandma is waiting for you.” Harry tells his son, picking up the overnight bag he packed for his son.

“Where are you going, daddy? I wanna go too!” The little boy cries, pouting at his dad with such innocence.

“I'm sorry, buddy. But you are staying with grandma.” Harry explains to his son, feeling a bit guilty. But he also didn't want to specify anything about his plans for today. See, Charlie is the biggest fan of Y/N at school and it warms Harry's heart to see him so fond of her. But that only gives him more reasons to keep his love life in the shadows for his son.

“But why?” Charlie whines, but knowing it's already a lost battle, he slips on his shoes in silence. Harry shakes his head, suppressing a giggle. Once a kid starts asking why, you know there is no ending to the discussion.

“Let's go, Char.” Harry states instead, dragging his boy out of their house and into the car.

After he drops Charlie off and Anne's, he drives straight back home. His heart pounding with nerves. He'd be lying if he said that he isn't a little bit anxious right now. He hasn't had a girl over for years on end, not in this context. And he's really hoping she's going to want to stay over. He told her to bring an overnight bag, just in case she wanted to stay. He also mentioned how Charlie is sleeping at his mother's place, hoping it would send the right message, but he wasn't quite sure.

When he arrives home, he finds Y/N just parking her car a little further down the street. She's on time, more like half an hour early. Harry lets out a nervous giggle and he hopes that it isn't too obvious that he's anxious right now.

“Eager much?” He jokes as soon as she reaches his front yard. She giggles slightly embarrassed and Harry simply wants to kiss that cute blush off her face.

“I didn't want to run late. Traffic, you know.” She explains, a small smile gracing her face.

“Relax, babe. I'm glad you are early, actually.” Harry smiles sweetly, pulling her in for a quick hug and placing a quick kiss on her lips. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Y/N lets out a flirtatious giggle, getting on her toes to press her lips on his. Harry instantly melts into the kiss, holding her tightly against his chest.

“C'mon, let's go inside.” Harry whispers, pulling away a bit hesitantly. Y/N softly nods in agreement and Harry loosens his grip on her, only to grab her hand and guide her inside. “Welcome to our home.”

“It looks lovely.” Y/N compliments, letting her eyes roam around the living room. You can tell by the way his space is organised that Harry is a neat person, the room is filled with all things the father and son love dearly. A nice TV hangs against the wall, some family pictures are scattered around the wall above the couch and the wall across the room holds shelves filled with movies, video games and records. It's all Harry and it takes the man's breath away knowing that she likes his place.

“Thank you.”

“Let me give you a tour.” Harry says, tugging on her arm and guiding her through his entire house. She had already seen the small hallway when she first entered the house, and a glimpse of the living room, but there is more. There is an open kitchen concept which leads out into the backyard with big sliding doors. It's really neat and pretty, every one of the rooms in the house has little Harry vibes. The house screams family home, it suits Harry really well.

When they finish the tour downstairs, Harry hesitates to show her his upstairs living space. He feels like taking her upstairs is something very intimate, maybe even too forward, yet he would love to show her around. With an unsure glance at her, Harry points his finger to the stairs, silently asking if she wants to continue the tour.

Y/N nods softly and gives him a sweet, yet excited smile. “Let's go, I'm very curious.” She says causing Harry to chuckle and they continue their walk through his house.

“Okay, so this is Charlie's room and his bathroom.” Harry explains. Y/N takes it all in as if he's giving her the time of her life. Harry is beyond grateful because he really does love her and he hopes that she is going to melt into their lives and live here one day.

They move over to the other side of the hallway, Harry gestures at the next room, rubbing the back of his neck a bit nervously. Y/N opens the door carefully when Harry speaks up. “This is uh- my room.” She pushes the door open further and carefully walks inside.

“This is very you.” She giggles when he walks in after her. Harry doesn't know why, but a blush creeps up his cheeks. Y/N isn't mocking him or making fun of him, her giggle sounds very fond, maybe she is just as nervous as he is.

The bedroom is decorated with warm colours and it features a king-sized bed that looks comfy and cosy. Y/N's gaze is glued to the bed, no doubt in her mind that she'd like to sleep in a bed like that. Especially if that means Harry would be right next to her.

She doesn't ponder her thoughts for too long because she knows that it will end with an almost unbearable aching between her legs.

When they dated in high school, they were only 15 years old. So sleeping with one another was out of the question. They kept dating until they were 16 and 17, but it still didn't feel right for them at that moment to take that step. Now that they are both adults and they want to take things a bit more seriously, Harry would like to finally take the next step in their relationship. Maybe tonight.

“Uhm- so behind you is my ensuite.” He points to the door behind her, gesturing at it with a little nod.

“Oh my.” Y/N's attention is immediately turned to the door when Harry mentions it. She slowly opens the door, stepping into the big room. It's modern and clean, and oh so spacious. There's a walk-in shower and a big tub next to it.

Harry just watches her in awe as she explores the bathroom. She almost seems mesmerised by his place and that makes his heart flutter. It's like she belongs in here and it is her house.

Y/N makes her way back to Harry with a dreamy look in her eyes. She wraps her arms around Harry's neck and pulls him close. She sighs. “Your home looks very lovely, Harry.”

“Not as lovely as you.” He blurts out in a weak attempt at flirting, but it comes off a bit nervous so he might have failed miserably.

“You're cheesy.” Y/N giggles. Harry tightens his grip on her waist and pulls her impossibly closer, flashing her a dimpled smile. Y/N leans in and lets her lips softly brush his in a very gentle kiss. Harry immediately melts into the kiss, tilting his head down to kiss her deeper, but she abruptly pulls away after only a second.

“I- uh- I'll go put my bag in this room, if that's okay?” She asks and Harry crooks his head to the side.

“Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Depends on what you're thinking.” She winks and pulls away from Harry.

“That you are going to stay over.” Harry flashes her a flirtatious smile.

“Exactly.” Y/N nods in agreement, a smug smile on her face and a glimpse of hope flashing in her eyes. “If that's still alright with you?”

“Of course, you don't have to ask.” Harry reassures, making her grin widely. He squeezes her hand for a second and then releases her hand, letting her step away and put her bag in the room.

Harry is beyond excited now, hoping for them to take their relationship to the next level. If they hadn't broken up back in high school, Harry might've even proposed by now. Yeah, he'd love to be married to her one day. But maybe it's too soon to be thinking about marriage, he remembers how it felt to be with her, back when they were only kids, hopelessly in love. He wants that back, now more than ever. ***

Y/N comes back downstairs to see that Harry is already making dinner. He greets her with a wide smile and places a soft peck on her lips.

“Mmh, what's that smell?” She asks curiously, leaning on the counter in the kitchen and watching Harry move around confidently.

“You, I reckon.” He smirks. Y/N lightly shakes her head, failing to hide her smile. “I'm making you pasta, love.”

“Mmmh, my favourite.”

“I know.” Harry smiles proudly.

Harry lets her know how she can pick a wine if she wants, and where she can find some glasses. She of course doesn't miss the obvious fact that Harry has planned everything ahead. That certainly turns her on.

They eat in a comfortable silence, their ankles playfully tangling with one another. Harry does the dishes while Y/N takes a second in the living room to scroll through her phone. As soon as the kitchen is clean, Harry joins her on the couch. He lifts her legs, placing them on his lap and letting her lean into his side.

“Charlie was a little upset to leave.” Harry says all of a sudden. Y/N chuckles, knowing just how clingy that four-year-old is to his dad. She finds that unbelievably adorable.

“Is he going to be mad at us?” She asks, not knowing how to proceed. She doesn't want the cute and innocent little boy to dislike her in any way.

“Us? No. Me? Maybe. I haven't told him about us yet, don't want him to tell the whole class and make it awkward for you at work.” Harry explains causing Y/N to smirk and nod, loving that he cares that much.

“So what does he think we are?” Y/N pries.

“I've told him you are my friend and that I like you a whole lot.” Harry tells her, making her smile.

“A whole lot, huh?” Y/N giggles and wiggles her eyebrows. Harry flashes her a cheeky smile and runs his fingers through her hair. “Sounds like you have a little crush.” She teases.

“Hmm, kinda do. Can't help it though.” Harry admits and leans into her, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. Y/N squirms under his touch, silently letting him know that this is okay. Then, she dips her head slightly and closes her lips on his.

The kiss instantly deepens and Y/N quickly crawls into Harry's lap, getting a better angle to kiss him passionately. His hands rest on her hips and hold her in place as he slowly kisses his way down her neck. Y/N closes her eyes, taking in the touch and taste of Harry. God, he really does turn her on.

So far they hadn't had the opportunity to make out like this. It's all been dates outside of either of their homes and kisses over the console of his car or at her front door. Feeling her thighs on each side of him and her lips working his like it's her favourite pastime makes Harry understand how badly he wants this to work out.

She lets her arms drape around his neck as her mouth finds his again, this time kissing him hungrily. Her lips sloppily brush against his, her teeth leaving grazes against his already tender bottom lip. He's just as eager to make out with her as she is.

She eventually breaks away, though, just to reconnect with those green gems Harry calls his eyes. He gives her a warm smile and his thumbs run under her shirt.

“You are so beautiful, love. Always been.” Harry murmurs against her lips before going in for another kiss. The gesture takes her back to high school, them sharing kisses on her porch after he walked her home from school. Always ending with a tight hug and whispers that went something like this.

But she's not in high school anymore, and so are her urges. Now, she simply can't get enough of Harry, and by the feeling of a firm swelling in his pants, she knows he is affected as much as she. It's quite the ego boost.

Harry had spent many nights, imagining how his first time making love to her would go. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her heat deliciously dripping, his name leaving her lips in a quivering cry when they both reach the peak of their pleasure. But he always kept the fantasy bundled up in his mind, he knew that it was too soon for that. Not anymore, though, because Y/N makes it very clear to him that she wants him.

“Harry.” She whimpers and rolls her hips into his. Her core grinds against his crotch and she swears she could make herself come from this. Just humping his bulge will be enough to have her reeling.

“I'm taking that as your consent, love.” Harry murmurs, pecking her lips. But she doesn't reply, she just hums in agreement. Enough for Harry to lift the two of them up, causing her to squeal slightly. He carries her upstairs and drops her on the bed.

It's happening.

Harry climbs on top of her, pressing her down with his weight. His lips crash back on hers and she accepts his passionate kisses with just the same amount of passion. She tumbles her hands around his neck, making sure he stays exactly where he is right now.

After a few minutes of more intense making out, Harry needs to come up for air. His chest is rising and falling and his hair is a hot mess, Y/N giggles teasingly, running her fingers through it to arrange it neatly.

“You're gorgeous.” Harry utters and places a delicate kiss on her jaw, Y/N lets out a shaky breath. Her heart soars when Harry compliments her. Her chin tilts towards him, their mouths closing in for more sucking and licking and biting and tugging. “But I'm dying to know how gorgeous you are underneath all this.”

She can't help the blood that rushes to her cheeks, and she can hardly breathe. Harry reaches down, lifting her shirt over her head. He wastes no time as soon as the fabric passes over her body. He's sucking the skin at her shoulder with eagerness.

“Fuck.” She curses as his teeth nip into her, his lips brushing it so faintly as soon as there's the red and purplish proof he's marked her. For a moment he feels guilty, thinking it's inappropriate, but he can't help but want this. He wants to become one with her and claim her as his own.

Harry gently kneads her breast with his hands, eliciting an erotic moan from her. Y/N isn't shy about her body. Her hand reaches to her back and she unclasps her bra, pulling it off and letting her boobs bounce freely. Harry gulps at the sight, they are just as magnificent as he had imagined them a few years back.

Harry kisses his way down her upper body and without a second thought, takes a nipple into his mouth. The man toys with it with his tongue, making Y/N's centre burn with desire. She hisses at the warmth of his mouth sucking and licking and nibbling. He then moves over to the other nipple, giving it equal attention before Y/N groans and speaks up.

“Fuck, I- I can't take it any longer, Harry.” Y/N whimpers, feeling her core starting to pulsate. She needs him there and she needs it now.

“Tell me what you want then, love.” Harry husks, his cock painfully straining in his trousers.

“Touch me. Eat me out, lick me clean. I don't care, but for fuck's sake-“ She heaves, her hands roaming down to the lining of Harry's trousers.

He doesn't need to be told twice, within a few seconds he is standing next to the bed, tugging off her trousers with her panties. Before quickly stripping down, he catches her eye looking longingly at the obvious erection in his boxers. She has been waiting for this to happen.

Y/N smiles as she observes him, he is so beautiful to her. His every flaw is precious. Y/N sees how his veins are straining underneath the thin layer of his skin as his fists clench around his bed sheets. How those plump pink lips are slightly parted, allowing his rapid, ragged breathing to escape.

Harry palms himself through his briefs, stroking his erection while keeping his eyes focused on the woman beneath him. With her lying on his bed in all her beauty, legs spread, his name on her parted lips. She is truly the epitome of sheer loveliness.

Harry kneels down at the side of the bed before he wraps his arms around her thighs to pull her closer to the edge. “You sure, baby?” He asks once more, although Y/N has been very clear with what she wants.

“Positive.” She mutters and in less than a second, Harry gently presses his lips against her folds. Kissing all around her pussy but never quite touching the most intimate parts. This drives her insane and her hands reach out to tangle in his curls, pulling him closer to her center. “Please.” She whimpers needily.

Harry doesn't make her wait, instead, he runs one finger through her folds before spreading them apart as his tongue prods over the heated skin. A loud grunt escapes his lips when he realises how sweet she tastes. It's everything he could've imagined and more. He then gets to work, flicking his tongue over her clit expertly, making Y/N buck her hips in appreciation. She pants, trying not to explode from pleasure at the feeling.

His free hand slides up to her lower stomach to hold her down and withhold her from squirming too much. Her juices are escaping from inside her, soiling his lips and chin and the duvet. Harry just can't get enough. His thumb scratches at her pelvis and as Y/N looks down, she sees him bobbing up and down eagerly, his eyes closed shut as he devours her. She hisses at the obscene sight.

“Ah- f-fuck!” Y/N stutters out, Harry now digging his fingers into her and slightly curling them inside her, hitting her g-spot and bringing her closer to her orgasm. “Harry!” She warns, her eyes practically rolling back at how he licks her, but that doesn't make him stop, no, he speeds up even.

His lips are locked on her clit, sucking as his fingertips massage her inner walls and let her slick seep out. She can't keep her legs still if she tries, her toes are curling and her thighs are shaking.

“Mmmh.” Harry moans lowly, tasting her juices as they keep flowing, signalling she won't last a second longer. “Come for me, darling.” He releases for a split second only to murmur those words, causing her body to respond with a shattering climax.

“Oh-ffu-Harry!” Y/N cries out as the burning knot inside her undoes and explodes. It's nothing like she's ever felt before, men never really seemed to know how to satisfy her, but Harry is all it takes for her to let go and forget about all the bad sex she ever had. She gasps loudly, riding out her orgasm as he keeps working her gently with his fingers and mouth. “Jesus fuck.”

Her legs fall to her sides. Harry comes up and wipes his mouth clean, chuckling at how Y/N is gasping for air. Her chest heaving as she does her best to try and breathe. “Good?” He hums and kisses her collarbone as he awaits a response.

“Too good.” She chokes out a laugh as soon as she can catch her breath again. She reaches down to caress his cheek, causing him to glance up. “Need a taste.” She huffs, as her hand goes down to his cock. Harry smirks and stops her. Gaining her attention with a quirked brow, indicating she doesn't understand.

“I desperately want to be inside of you, and I won't be able to last as long as I plan to if your puffy lips would work their magic on my cock right now.” He tells her bluntly, keeping his lust-filled gaze on her. And honestly, that might've just been the sexiest thing anyone has ever told her. She gives him a coy nod before he props himself up. He pushes his boxers down his legs and hovers over her.

Harry reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom while Y/N finally has her tiny fingers wrapped around Harry's erect and dripping cock. It's long and hard, the tip glistening and soft. Her hand runs down his shaft, paying close attention to the pattern of those prominent veins. His big hand reaches for her wrist.

“Hate to stop you, love, but you'll be the death of me.” Harry breathes as he slowly rolls the condom down his shaft. Y/N smiles adoringly, holding back laughter. Harry shakes his head amused, glad he brings that same childlike chuckle to Y/N's face that he used to adore when they were younger.

Then Y/N's face changes to surprise as Harry wraps his arms around her upper body to place her further on the bed, her head now resting on his soft pillows. Harry takes his position above her and cups her chin as he gently kisses her.

“Are you ready for me?” He asks. His cock now directly at her entrance, he holds it with his hand, teasing her.

“Yes, H. Please, yes.” She eagerly replies. So Harry presses a firm kiss on her mouth as he carefully pushes himself in. Just the tip before he pulls back again, teasing her incredibly slowly. Y/N groans in annoyance but lets him. Instead, she circles her arms around his neck and lets her fingertips draw nonsensical doodles on his scalp.

Her eyes shut when he finally thrusts himself forward, inserting his cock fully and feeling her pussy clenching around him. At first, he moves slowly, deliberately waiting for the satisfying burn to fade. His palms are pressed flat next to her shoulders as he secures his balance above her. She just can't keep her moans inside, not when he fucks her with all the love in the world.

“Fuck.” Harry grits, noticing how tight she is. Y/N keeps her eyes closed and lets him take control, simply doing what she feels is right, and that is responding to Harry's pace and needs. She finds solace in his sweet scent and she's sure she's addicted to it from now on.

As his hips rock, he slips his tongue into her mouth. Y/N's walls clench around him as his pace picks up. Her slick dripping out of her, coating their inner thighs as he slowly dips in and out.

“Give me your leg.” He says as he taps his fingers on her right thigh. Y/N obediently pulls her leg up and Harry positions himself a bit differently, the tip of his cock hammering against her cervix, reaching spots she didn't know could feel so good.

He places her leg on his shoulder and holds it in place with his arm wrapped around her knee. The newfound angle allows him to fuck her deeper and Harry can't hold himself back anymore. He slams into her, she moans in pleasure when he picks up the pace, making their sweaty bodies become one.

“G-goddamn, love.” He grunts, loving how they move as one. The muscles of his abdomen tense up under his skin with every hard thrust he delivers, he simply can't bear to slow down his movement. Harry continues to rut in and out, bringing both of them higher.

His left-hand reaches down, pressing down on her pubic bone for extra stimulation as his thumb finds her clit. Harry then knows he won't last long. Feeling her pussy already milking his cock, he knows she is close too.

Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, feeling the butterflies in her stomach building up again as Harry hits her G-spot every time he slams back into her.

“H-Harry- shit.” Y/N pants rapidly. She can feel how her juices are dripping from her and covering Harry's dick, definitely creating a wet spot underneath her bum on the duvet. She rolls her eyes back. She can't hold out for much longer.

“Nghh, yeah? Come for me, again, baby.” Harry groans as his pace starts to get sloppy. Y/N loves how his brows furrow and his jaw tightens up every time he pushes in.

“Aah- I'm-“ She starts and her walls clench around him, squeezing his hard cock inside her as she comes. The sensation is too much for Harry to bear. His hot liquid explodes into the rubber as her warm pussy milks him.

“Mmph.” Harry moans and with the last bit of power in his limp body, he slowly rocks back and forth to ride out their orgasms until they both collapse, tired and sweating messes.

“God, I can't believe that just happened.” Y/N puffs as they lie next to each other for a few moments. Harry hums, rolling to her side and pulling out of her in the process. Y/N catches his glance, seeing how his green eyes look like they shine even in the dark, love and affection radiating from them.

“I finally had sex with the girl of my dreams.” He murmurs, scooting a bit closer as Y/N feels him reach to her hand to twine their fingers together. She giggles at his sweetness before opening her mouth to speak.

“I now understand why you didn't want Charlie here today.” She remarks, earning a playful look from Harry. She brings her fingers up to brush the hair off his forehead. “I love you.” Y/N suddenly utters, surprising herself. “I mean it.”

“I love you too.” Harry says without a second thought before placing his wet lips on hers. It's not like they hadn't said I love you to each other when they were younger, but adult I love you's are different, stronger, more meaningful. Y/N grins, nudging her nose against his cheek and pecking his lips.

“We should do something about the stickiness, shouldn't we?” Harry says running his finger on the inside of her thigh. Y/N chuckles as she nods her head in agreement, slightly ashamed but just couldn't care less right now. She's happy, Harry's happy and that's all that matters.

Harry picks her up from the bed again, gaining another squeal as he carries her to the bathroom. They hop in the shower and their touches remain gentle. Just soft kisses and long glances. Once they're all washed up, they slide back between the sheets in an after-sex, shower-fresh bliss.

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[yilan-meiyuan]

so, how does li lianhua define his relationship with fang duobing, if at all?

i once read a comment under a fanghua fic that li lianhua is like a fish swimming in a stream. one moment, under the rippling surface, you can see him clearly; in the next moment, he has gone on his way.

but, to extend that thought, in those moments he is here with us, one can absolutely see the shades of his beautiful colours, if one only pays close enough attention.

li lianhua actually tells us a lot:

"if li xiangyi knew that 10 years later, there would be someone who understands him this well, he would be very happy." (xiaohua, you indeed look very happy 😭💕)

"then, henceforth, i redress the grievances from my past actions. here is to my new friend — my best friend."

there are countless moments where li lianhua implicitly communicates such friendly sentiments towards fang duobing; however, not even one post but a hundred posts wouldn't even be enough to document that in its entirety. so, let's look at what he says explicitly for now.

this is the one and only time in the entire show xiaohua says there is someone who understands him.

it can only be someone special for one who speaks of himself as a wandering lone ghost, who has lived well alone for 10 years, to say this and make room for a new addition in his life. here, he names fang duobing as not only the person who understands li xiangyi, but also, he names him as li lianhua’s very best friend. about both his past and his present selves, xiaohua happily drinks to this and officially lets xiaobao in.

we see xiaohua communicate this declaration, though quietly (but i'm not sure if you're like me, when xiaohua smiles, it's literally so loud because my heart is full every time and i remember every single one of such moments), again at the end, when every part of his identity has been laid bare to xiaobao. their multiple breakups did not weaken their bond at all. in fact, they strengthened it, as couples who do the work and argue constructively do, and they are stronger than ever.

"to prove what you had done and didn't do, the one named li xiangyi had no choice but to return alive from the bottom of the sea, and the one named li lianhua, from now on, can no longer be that carefree jianghu physician he wanted to be."

everyone, as usual, had forgotten to consider the physical and emotional labour that costed xiaohua to appear here today — except for one person. and, xiaobao is not afraid to say it, in front of the entire sigu sect and jianghu members who got together for this trial, of what they missed and took for granted, that is, to have sect leader li always come in and solve their problems.

listening to xiaobao's words, it's that same smile xiaohua had when he realized this young man in front of him who cooked a full-course meal and more waiting for him in his home, who treated him as exactly the ordinary physician li lianhua he wanted to live as, also understood and spoke for li xiangyi all the same in a way no one else ever did.

but, does that affection only extend as far as a professional relationship between a teacher and a student does?

i'm not here to blow up or go into your space to tell you what you're allowed to ship romantically, i'm too old for that (and can only hope that people would give me the same courtesy). what i will say is that there have been many heterosexual tudi/shifu romantic relationships on screen in the past and present that audiences cheered for, cried over, and loved wholeheartedly.

for instance, there is the legendary yang guo x xiaolongnv of the return of the condor heroes, my loves cui shiyi x zhousheng chen of one and only (2021), and li tongguang x ren ruyi of a journey to love (2023) who took first place in the fictional shipping weibo supertopic ranking during the show's air. so, why would romantically shipping fictional fang duobing x li lianhua who simply met as kids for one meeting and made a promise to meet again in the future to train together be a problem? they did not even hold an official apprenticeship ceremony to be deemed formal student x teacher.

if you are fine with the former fictional couples but not when it is two men, then that is perhaps something to personally reflect on.

is it age gap then — well, wei yingluo x the emperor in story of yanxi palace (2018) were 16 years apart and audiences embraced their spicy and romantic cat and mouse dynamic. i was more of a wei yingluo x the empress shipper, which had a 15 years age gap, and us 令后cp shippers back then shipped this sapphic relationship in a way that would be defined as pure love warrior today. the age gap of fang duobing x li lianhua is half of that. they are 20 and 28, 8 years apart.

ship what you like in fanon, but for me, i like to go back to canon and let it inform me. plus, what xiaohua communicates and wants matters to me above all.

when madam qin asks xiaohua if the talented young man outside is his disciple, xiaohua clearly answers, "shiniang, he is not my disciple. and, i didn't teach him much." this rejection of the formal teacher-student label is indeed something both fang duobing and li lianhua communicate. as a dear friend said to me, if li lianhua does not lie to his shiniang about his dying body, when he tricks everyone else that he has recovered, why would you assume that he is lying here about whether he has a disciple? the only logical conclusion is that yes, xiaohua is speaking from his heart here. he does not recognize he and xiaobao's relationship to be a professional one.

if you look carefully at the future incidences from this point where teacher-student is brought up between xiaohua and xiaobao when they are alone, xiaohua is purposely bringing it up because he knows it will get a reaction out of xiaobao. xiaohua uses this break as a way to distract xiaobao from further noticing his deteriorating health and seeing through his lie and peaceful visage.

then why did li lianhua explicitly name fang duobing as his disciple at the very end if not for keeping him at a distance?

if you didn't notice, xiaohua is dying. he depleted his last bit of yangzhouman at sigu sect. here, he does not know if he would wake up the next day should he lose consciousness. in a person's last moments, they would often look at their life in review. days and weeks if given the time to, or in a quick flash. when xiaohua looks up one final time to see xiaobao fussing and worrying over him, ready to do whatever it takes to save him, he says, "taking you as my disciple was not in vain." the act of taking xiaobao as his disciple was the start of their entwining fates that led them to now. this is what xiaohua thinks back to in what may have been his last moments.

what he means is: if there was one thing i did in this life that was not in vain, that got for me as much, if not more than, as what i had given, it is meeting you.

to finish off on a lighter note, xiaohua and xiaobao do quite a bit of play in their relationship. whether it was a "hero saves beauty" scheme weaved by the beauty li lianhua himself in their first meeting as adults, detective fang and sly physician li trying to get second chances and escape, or their matching leaf masks, the two of them are an absolute joy, and they love to have fun together. what is teacher-student if not yet another one of their games?

a moment of silence for alliance leader di for walking in on fanghua's (terrible, i say lovingly, these are my children) roleplay. xiaobao tried so hard and even used a formal "you." 😂🙈 the dynamic of rejecting to others a teacher-student label from being used to define their relationship while also teasing and having fun with it in private is so incredibly fun, and chinese-language romantic fanghua fan works certainly do have a lot of fun with it.

all in all, however you wish to see li lianhua and fang duobing's relationship, the canonically base level for them is that formal toast to each other at lotus tower: they are best friends. you can build from there. that is the most simple and straightforward fact of the story.

#long post #fanghua #li lianhua #fang duobing #mysterious lotus casebook

[resakitsu]

Ren, after Peyote killed him:

#it really do be like that sometimes #this morning i saw a tweet about how Horo ended up crying and i literally couldn’t stop thinking about it all day #also he was literally the only one who cried???? #lyserg cried because Yoh left the tournament not because of Ren #not even Yoh cried #so… is it Horo who cares about Ren the most??? #i think the fuck YES #shaman king #shaman king remake #shaman king reboot #shaman king 2021 #usui horokeu #horokeu usui #horohoro #hororen #anime #shounen anime

[kafkaguy]

character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

#and now i will explain them all in detail #cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there #*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly #em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come #she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much #i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on #aziraphale.........no comment #severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week #and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them #hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said #martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me #sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well #these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her #her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though #then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3 #kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me #stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year #i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time #and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog. #but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen #but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality #enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness #tag game #🍪

[tea-cat-arts]

Kevin is a fun character for me because the character the game repeatedly tells us he is and the character the game repeatedly shows us he is are just… blatantly two different characters, but regardless of which one you choose to believe is canon, he’s still one of the most sympathetic mf in the game and I will be very upset if he’s actually killed off

#honkai impact #kevin kaslana #where are my fellow Kevin enthusiasts at? #‘the only person he cares about is Dr. MEI-‘ hoyo you literally introduced him by showing us him repeatedly reliving one Sakura’s death #and the guilt that consumed him because of it and the various other sacrifices he had to make #those are not the actions of a dude who doesn’t care!!! #he built Hua a god damn sanctuary to keep her safe! #he chose saving Su’s life over completing project stigma (you know… Dr. MEI’s frickin legacy) #the Kaslana stigma version of him shows that he fucking loves his family and values their accomplishments #he cried over Elysia’s death #the ER version of him fucking risked it all to save her sim #hell he even recruited Mei just to honor Ely’s legacy and show her she won #in ‘the demon’ rememberance vessel they explicitly say he was desperately trying to keep Su out of the fight all together #and also did his best to keep Mobius away from Su #and in EE he only talked to Aponia just so Su didn’t have to #Mihoyo these are not the actions of someone who doesn’t care #also he kept Fu Hua’s feather safe and gave it back to Senti so she could get her body back #Kevin deeply loves all his friends and family and nothing Mihoyo says can convince me otherwise #he did everything for them not just for Dr. MEI #I can’t even judge his actions #like he’s literally just some guy- how is he supposed to know how to save the world #these aren’t even his plans. he’s just trying his best #I’d also go a little insane if I was powerless to stop most of my loved ones from dying and the world from being destroyed in front of me #I can’t blame him for not immediately trusting the power of friendship #man makes sense to me

[achairwithapandaonit]

i’m finally having success on my very depressing au where shinichi’s stuck as conan and also lost most of his allies to the org so i thought i might share a snippet (:

“And you want to go in there?” Hattori says. His face is turned away in the direction of the museum, but Ayumi’s sure that he and Conan are having a conversation with their eyes. Something silent and uncomfortable that makes Conan huff and Hattori sigh.

“Of course!” Mitsuhiko says. “It’s for our club.”

“Ah. The detective club.”

He’s wrong. They’ve rebranded and started anew after last year. No longer the Shounen Tantei-dan, now the-

“The newspaper club!” they all chime in as one. Even Conan, though his voice is more a sarcastic mumble.

Hattori blinks. “Huh? The newspaper club? I thought you kids were all into mysteries.”

“Well…it’s not really a newspaper club,” Mitsuhiko says, embarrassed. 

Genta lets go of Ayumi’s hand just to cross his arms. “We’re making a newspaper, aren’t we?” 

Mitsuhiko grimaces, as if to say, ‘you call that a newspaper?’. 

“It’s more like an anything goes club,” Conan mutters.

“It’s a fun club!” Ayumi says, elbowing him in the side. “We’re having fun! We’re reporting and telling stories and having fun field trips!”

They’re doing what they want, because after last year they deserve to. Maybe the whole newspaper thing isn’t a good veil when they’re just not that good at it and the proper newspaper club does it a hundred times better, but it’s the thought that counts. 

Plus it’s dragged Conan back out of his shell. Ayumi thinks he might be slightly less depressed than he was when they started.

“Oh,” Hattori says, smirking. He bends at the waist to look at Conan specifically. “So you’re blowing off club funds just to play around at KID heists, huh?”

Conan raises an eyebrow. He shoves his hands in his pockets, finally breaking the hand holding chain. He says nothing, and this nothing causes Hattori to deflate ever so slightly.

#*holding 14 year old shounen tantei-dan gently in my hands* haha lmao they have attachment and co-dependency issues because they know conan #lied about agasa-hakase and haibara moving to america #look at them. i gave them anxiety #*cries* #wip #dcmk #detective conan #their 'newspaper' club is literally just the detective club in another font and the only one who knows is conan. he isn't commenting on it. #he's letting them have this #anyway this wip has me excited cause of mitsuhiko info-dumping on KID's strange activities as of late #such as stealing from libraries and returning smashed jewels to the police and only stealing stuff that has to do with eternal life #also the whole ekoda gang is unsubtly just KID together

[kraviolis]

i can tell when the author of a fanfic im reading had a peaceful childhood

#krav talks #not to pull the 'i have actual ptsd from a traumatic childhood' card but im gonna be real #i dont think some of y'all understand exactly what hunter's childhood was like #belos also most likely was not the verbally abusive type of parent. he was physically and emotionally abusive FOR SURE. ABSOLUTELY #but theres no shot he'd just yell at hunter. he doesn't get angry like that #case in point: What Happened To Caleb #hunter isnt gonna start crying from someone yelling at him out of anger. he'll get triggered MAYBE #hunter gets fighty if he gets triggered by ANY older authority figure. kikimora and lilith werent exactly kind to him either #the only way hunter cries is when his friends are around bcus he feels so safe with them #you know who would cry over being yelled at like that??? amity. #sure later in her life she probably got into screaming matches with odalia #but if u think even she wouldnt burst into tears if she got yelled at by any older female authority figure in her life #then u r wrong. sorry #hunter was not allowed to be vulnerable. it was too dangerous to be. he also had NO ONE while under belos's thumb. #amity had her siblings. they probably gave her safe spaces to cry it out after getting verbally abused by their mom #if lilith lost her patience and raised her voice at amity (not in a mean way bcus lilith would literally Never but no one is perfect) #amity would start crying for sure. and then lilith would feel like the worst person in the world. scum of the earth. #and god forbid hunter sees this exchange. he'd rip lilith a new one even if she'd already apologized #he wouldnt stop chewing her out for even daring to speak to The Amity Blight so disrespectfully unless amity physically pulled him away. #and then he'd threaten lilith and flash step amity away and immediately call luz #now if a MAN tried to yell at amity she would be three seconds away from throwing hands #but she wouldnt even need to worry about getting her hands dirty bcus hunter would already be shoving the man to the fucking ground #and threatening to end his entire life if he even stepped foot into hunter's field of view ever again #this is why its hard for me to imagine hunter living with darius post-belos... darius wasnt kind to him at first either. #and i think hunter living with someone who had actually had a role in his traumatic childhood would make him. regress #he'd fall back into old behaviors without even noticing. im not entirely sure darius would notice either #i love darius and i love darius & hunters bond so much #but it makes so much more sense and would be so much better for hunter to live with the nocedas for a while #not permanently. camila did great with paying for 6 kids under her roof but she was one emergency away from financial devastation #and i dont think hunter would want to live in the human realm permanently either

[mccleans]

#spent all day helping my best friend move into her new flat #and it was really lovely to be able to be there for her and help her unpack and set everything up #bc her bf (one of my other flatmates) is going travelling for a couple of years in march so obvs he's moving out and they're breaking up #which is why SHE had to move out bc she couldn't afford the rent on a double room by herself #and she's only just moved down the hill like literally a five minute walk which is obviously amazing #she's not ages away yk #and she's moved in with our mutual friend which is nice too #but on a selfish note now i'm left behind in a flat with four 20 year old couples #and i'm now the outside friend like i'm the one who has to go home yk rather than being the one in the home #and i'm just dreading being alone so much of the time like cooking dinner alone and coming home from work and being alone etc #and i'm worried as well that in the new flat they'll get really close and i'll be like forgotten about and left behind #and i know this is all catastrophising and mind reading and all those therapy phrases #but it just sucks. it really sucks #i had to walk home in the rain just now up the hill at half 12 at night #and i cried the whole way because it just all sucks so bad #i knoooooow obviously there's worse problems in the world there's people that are dying kim etc etc #but i'm just very sad about it right now. very very sad about it #so it's 1am and i'm going to sleep and i will wake up at 4am for the match and arsenal better fucking pull through for me #goodnight love u all sleep well appreciate the people in ur life x #also i mean two 20 year old couples lol i don't have eight flatmates

[mako-neexu]

.

#i try not to be surprised by the trash fgo gives me in gacha but i cant help but still be upset XD i hate it here. i wish i can stop playing #but i also hate missing events and log in bonuses....im only moving forward because of #story i love the characters but this game is just :))))))) #this is my 49053806th complaint about this game why am i not leaving indeed #i mean i took hiatus one time and it was freeing to forget about the fate series lol #but i got sucked into a black hole and now im struggling to get away from it kdfbhliwefb #ive cried over not getting merlin every banner he got....its just sad that everyone i know has him #meanwhile its taking me literal years to get him #i hate the dont worry youll get him soon! phrases...yes well im jealous and youre not frustrated #as i am #i hate hate hate hate spending money on anything gambling related but uhhhhh shrugs #i wish gacha a very die out soon please #everytime i realize im spending money on voiced jpegs its funny but then theres the serious matter for my psychological needs and stability #to keep me sane haha #i hate it here its not healthy for me its a toxic relationship between me and this game and i need out... #but romani and the story.... i love them too much to leave.... #what to do... #i kind of hate talking to friends who whale too and yes im a hypocrite but wow you whale at least you get him meanwhile i spend dollars #on trash and useless crap thanks #[oh dont worry youll get him soon] then they add a smiley face i just wanna wrap my #fingers around my neck and end it allllllllllllllll

[bloominstorm]

Wakui really tryna make me stop slandering Mikey out here.

#like…ok listen tht chapter was sad af #the thing about Mikey is tht I always gave him some grace because he clearly went through shit to turn out how he did #and he knew he had issues but he still tried to be as good as he could with the morals he learned from the important ppl in his life #it was interesting to see that despite Mikey’s parents being in his life for a short period of time they still had such a significant impact #on him like the way he latched into being strong because his father appeared to be strong and because of the way his mother talked about him #he wanted to be more like his father #also interesting to note is that Mikey doesn’t seem to have his own identity? i used to scoff at ppl who made theories about him not knowing #who he truly is but this proves it because he adopts the character traits of ppl he cares about #he did so with his dad his brother Baji draken izana (funnily enough) etc in the future timelines #the relationship his mom had with his dad was odd tho #were they married.. were they still together when he died because if so tht means he cheated on her a little bit before he died since Emma #is a year younger than Mikey but the mom still talked about him like she loved him and even accepted Emma since Emma seemed genuinely hurt #over her death - I will say the mom was a bit ..weird why would you only talk about his father when you’re talking to your kid? why not #talk about yourself or talk to Mikey about things other than being strong I understand he was fixated on strength but she could’ve stirred #it away from being the constant topic of conversation when they talked like how he’s doing and how he can take care of himself mentally #she was good in telling him that being strong doesn’t mean you don’t cry tho #also something odd I noted was how Mikey said he hated weak guys who cried easily like…? thts literally shinichiro #and you made it seem like everything you did was as a result of your brother and tht you admired him so much #thts literally the only reason he cared about takemichi 😭 I just find it weird because by tht point shinichiro was the main one taking care #of him and Emma while in a gang and inspired him to be in a gang yet he hated ppl like him and seemed to even after seeing shinichiro lead #his own gang.. #now onto the whole sanzu and Baji thing again I believe Wakui is shoehorning Sanzu into Mikey’s story because he was supposedly there from #the beginning yet wasn’t considered to be in the original toman and wasn’t close to Mikey like Baji was or draken was who he met later on #he can’t be like Mikey asked sanzu and he refused bc we see sanzu is up his ass so why wouldn’t he do it? #he can spin it like he thought sanzu was weak tho but again it wouldn’t make sense because how he was when he came in contact with Takemichi #would show he didn’t care and would be open to it - it just makes no sense #but whatever I wanna see how this goes because now we’re seeing Draken’s reintroduction and I can’t wait to see how he positively impacted #Mikey just like he did with mitsuya #tokyo revengers spoilers #Tokyo revengers 263

[auzzyash]

okok so this is different than my usual sun and moon show posts but- I picked up Trials of Apollo (from the Percy Jackson series) from the library a few months ago. I enjoyed books 1, 2, 3, and 4...but I forgot to get the 5th book, so I had to wait to finish the series. I finished the series on friday, and I haven't been posting much in these past two days because I've been really fixated on ToA. (yes, I am an apollogist. Yes, I think that Apollo is a complex character that deserves more attention than he gets from the Percy Jackson series. I will die on this hill.) So...I've been thinking, I REALLY want to share my thoughts and theories with the rest of the ToA community on tumblr. But I don't want to do it here, cause ya'll followed for Sun and Moon show, not Percy Jackson. So...should I post all my Percy Jackson stuff (which will mainly be ToA, ToA is very underrated) here, or should I create a different account? Please leave your honest opinions! Also, if you're a Percy Jackson fan, and you want to leave hate on ToA, then go ahead and do it lol. I find it amusing. ToA seems to be mainly disliked/ignored by the rest of the Percy Jackson fandom (prolly because Apollo is a god and all the other books are focused on demigods, so people assume it won't be as interesting), and I find it funny when a "REAL PERCY JACKSON FAN!!1!!1!" hates on it 🤣🤣

#apollogists #not sun and moon show related #ToA deserves more attention #fight me #I will die on this hill #if u want to hate on ToA please do #I love it lol its so funny to read #no but seriously like Apollo is just as capable of being deep as all the other characters??? #like yall give him some love too #Nico and Will literally have more attention than him #and they only have one book of their series published so far #like what the fuck #Just to let all you percy jackson fans (who didn't read ToA) know... #Apollo is one of the most complex (in a very likeable way) characters in the series. I love him. Give him more attention #ha ya'll thought he was all tough??? naah hes a teddy bear #he cries more than all the other characters but together #why am I going crazy on the tags #is this what being an a03 writer is like #Also Artemis is also very cool #OH AND ALSO #if you don't read ToA #you might not discover Meg #which i find very #like very very very very very very very very #VERY sad #Percy Jackson #ToA #why did I only think now to add those tags #what the fuck

[book-tease]

2015 was a big year for me and my queer journey bc the hayley kiyoko video came out and that was the first time i was made aware that girls could be gay (very rude of people not to alert me to this tbh) and then a few days later gay marriage was legalized and i cried in the bathroom at church bc i just felt bad that they couldn’t get married in the temple and prayed for like an hour in hopes that would change but no i was just a really good ally

#mia rambles #i didn’t come out as bi until like a year later but even that was like ‘this is a thing???’ #i didn’t even really comprehend that gay people like existed until like 6th grade #and even that was like. in a fanfic setting? i didn’t really ahev any desire to engage with it bc it was all 5sos fic i saw #tho this is coming from the girl who has 1 boy barbie and he was only used when i wanted one of my barbie’s to be pregnant #my american girl dolls were married and had a daughter #i just didn’t realize it was a real thing and not just. in my head #the fact that i cried so hard over the church’s response to gay marriage is still so funny to me bc it was like traumatic but also. funny. #i really just thought i was a good ally #i remember the prayers too it was literally like ‘please make sure they are accepted and safe and can get married in the temple soon’ #so funny #idk why i’m thinking about this tonight

[detectiveconnor]

the issue with having a second human verse where connor was in love with a guy who turned out to be a serial killer (whom Connor had charged & convicted, because he figured it out before any of his colleagues actually employed in the homicide area saw it) -- the issue with having this verse now is that he keeps handing me little snippets of their life together before he knew David was a killer. of their life together before David started killing people. of their life together when things were good and he loved him and believed him when he said “we”, and “us”. (the problem is that after the conviction, and moving to detroit, connor has tried several different therapists but hasn’t found a single one yet who has offered him the fact he is allowed to Grieve for something that he isn’t sure ever really existed. but it felt real.)

#connor Would be - he - regular human verse connor has never had a therapist outside of the work-mandated ones #because he has not thought it would ..... he HAS thought it would benefit him before but he was denied access when he was young #and he pulled himself out of things. by himself. he worked So Hard to get through the things he got through but he got through them #but connor in human verse 2 would.... seek out a therapist. for months and months after the conviction he'd want to find... #'want' might be a little strong but he literally resigned from his work. he *loves* his work. it is a Low Point #and the people he would normally lean on are all either David's friends or know him through wanting to appeal to his mother #he can Identify He Would Benefit From Outside Support #so after moving to detroit he'd be looking. he just ... wouldn't ... #therapists are hard to mesh with and connor would be exacting. he knows what he wants out of therapy and there are a Lot of therapists #who would not offer it and that's fine. but they're not for him. #anyway #sometimes connor has dreams that are just memories and cries when he wakes up and it's very annoying because he Doesn't miss him #but it's very annoying and exhausting to be tired all the time (sleeping trouble - difficulty sleeping anywhere but at home) #and when he DOES get to sleep he sometimes has to dream about. missing him #sigh #anyway i just wrote about their first night together because connor handed it to me out of nowhere #thank you connor that's very sad actually #(human verse 2 connor is also. not really in control of the eating disorder. he is still trying to... he is still trying but) #(it's taken a backseat lately and he. has. it has been an easy way to try to get some sense of Control) #(he knows it is not healthy but *that* one in particular. the ED. is something he has only Ever *had* to do alone.) #(looked for help before and been Actively Degraded and ignored for it. he is still trying.) #eating disorder tw

[shiningstages]

I’m home and I feel fulfilled again~ ( and sleepy from both much excitement while walking around and from the alcohol I had at dinner~ )

#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc ) #( honestly my internship lady has kind of stressed me out so i really needed a day out like this!! #the kids actually following through with a plan though?? i'm so proud of them gdhffgxxfhgh #literally spent $100+ though and gonna probably spend money on my car repair soon so uuuuuuuugh #but i found out i like bourbon.........stunning development!!!!! thank you to the one other person in choir who can also drink #only a couple months younger than me but he's a bartender so i asked him So Many questions #he got an old fashioned with four roses bourbon and demerara syrup....forget the bitters but it was so interesting #he recommended this light bourbon drink with raspberry puree and vanilla for me and it's like That Is The Best Drink I've Ever Had #just checked and there was no vanilla in it; just in the name of the drink......weirdge #but it was fantastic; shoutout to the bartender at the place!!!!!!! (it's very area-specific so no name dropping but yeah!!!!!) #also seeing mine had rum AND bourbon in it; your girl is suddenly going hard!!!!!!! #jk..........only if i go to that place again...........but it's such a far drive from where i live fdgfhgjhhjc #but anyways food + drink; walking around an old part of town and looking at cute shops; visiting the beach #i feel so sleepy but so full of life again #i really wanna join choir in fall.....but internship searches..........i wanna graduate already fghfghxfgdjf #but i also don't wanna leave behind this group i feel really attached to!!!!!! #i think it's the main reason i wanna be in a vtuber Group is for the community.......the togetherness and feeling desired as company #*cries softly; screams into the void* #i'm gonna do so much more with my life and those guys are too!!!!! i'm so proud of them and they're gonna do great out there!!!!!! #i get to see them tomorrow though.........and one girl loves planning stuff so maybe lots of stuff will happen during summer #who knows!!!!!!!!!! i sure don't~ but i'm excited nonetheless~ )

[sttoru]

“toji, dear, you can’t just hold megumi like that.”

you left your husband and (almost) one year old son alone to go to the kitchen and returned a second later, only to find toji holding your child like he was holding onto some grocery bag. you knew he was not the best with kids.

“why not? kid seems pretty happy ‘bout it.” toji answers nonchalantly while looking down at the baby, “look at ‘m.”

your eyes move to focus on megumi, who’s limbs were kicking around in the air—the back of his romper being held by toji’s rough hand. your son seemed fine; no cries or protests. in fact, he was happily sucking on his pacifier and those little blue orbs of his were glimmering like he was having the time of his life.

“see, told ya,” toji smirks as he sees the surprise on your face due to how content megumi was in such an uncomfortable-looking position, “no need to worry. ‘m strong enough not to drop him.”

you can’t help but roll your eyes and walk over to the couch, sitting down. you had a small bowl of food and a spoon ready to feed your child, “well, thank you. you can hand megumi over now, though. i need to feed him.”

toji raised an eyebrow as he looked at the baby food. he sits beside you, placing megumi on his lap before grabbing the plate and utensil from your hands, “i can do it.”

he instantly went ahead and scooped up some mushed food, which was way too much for one bite. especially for a literal child.

“alright lil’ buddy, open up.” toji hums and guides the big bite to megumi’s mouth. your son parts his lips with a happy expression, taking in the food, but not without leaving a small mess around the corners of his lips. it was expected to happen since megumi’s mouth had only so little capacity.

“tha’s my boy.” your husband grins before feeding the poor child another huge bite. more than half of it got smeared onto megumi’s chubby cheeks; his romper also catching some drops that fell from his lips. though, that didn’t matter to toji. all that mattered was that megumi was not making a fuss and just munched on the food that was given.

the mess being made was of little importance to toji. the fact that he ‘succeeded’ in doing such a small task without making his son cry, was enough of an achievement for now.

“damn, i’m gettin’ pretty good at this parenting stuff, don’cha think?” toji boasts with a proud grin.

…well, it seemed like your lover still had a long way to go for it to be considered ‘good’ enough by your standards. you’re glad he was trying at the very least.

#ෆ : parenting 101. #jjk x reader #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #toji x you #toji fluff #im a sucker for toji ok leave me ALOENSENNE #😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[httpswstef]

HEADCANONS & love and deepspace boys♡

warning : f!reader, just pure fluff, anyone can read. ☆

words count : 2652.

characters : rafayel, zayne, xavier, caleb.

stefie : hi! sorry if i have mistakes : ( hope u like it!

rafayel !

the most playful little guy in the world! will literally do anything you want just to see your wonderful smile and hear your beautiful laugh! he is truly willing to go to great lengths, it makes no difference to him what exactly.

he will stare at you all the time, just because he likes it so much and you can't do anything about it, he is fascinated by you and he wants to watch your beauty at any moment. you are the truest angel for him, how should he get away from you? that's right, he doesn't.

he loves to stroke your cheeks with the pad of his thumb and look into your gaze, he tries to find something there but love and care for him.

like a ritual for a happy day - kissing your eyes and pressing his nose against yours and trying to make your breathing the same.

the boy literally wants to become one with you. to become your heart, air and soul (in the best and most adequate sense). and he doesn't want to let you go anywhere else, rafael is afraid that someday you might find someone better, though he guffaws about it, but will you find someone more perfect than him? no.

he's a very gentle kisser! he has such soft lips that you just want to kiss every second, and he can't help himself when he sees you and immediately tries to snuggle up to your sweet lips, makes a very hurt look if you don't kiss him, makes his trademark pouty face and waits for your apology. he's such a meow.

but also, he loves to cuddle! i'm sure that he is very warm and can warm you up at any moment if you ask, and you don't have to ask, he will realize it himself! because he is sticking to you 25/8 to share this warm energy and his love with you, gently stroking you with his palm and leaving air kisses all over your body, you will not be able to resist him 110%.

he likes to just lie next to you and talk about anything or be silent, rafayel doesn't care, the main thing is that you are close and safe next to him.

i think he gets jealous sometimes. you are his treasure and his most important love, he trusts you all his life, but raf can't trust other men when they look at you as their prey. He'd rather spend the night in the police station than let one of those idiots touch you, i mean it.

if you sleep next to him, there's a 100% chance rafael is sleeping on top of you, and you're trying to get out of his grip and he's squeezing harder.

he will never raise his voice at you, and if he does, it will be by accident. he'll be on his knees begging you to forgive him and not leave him. will apologize for another ten years to let you know that he's really sorry and he'll never do it again, because he loves you infinitely more.

you're his biggest muse and his only muse. he'll make an exhibition of paintings with only you in them. you. rafayel wants people to know who helped him achieve such a beautiful inspiration, he tried as hard as he could, he painted his paintings daily and didn't miss a single second, he spent a lot of time but it was worth it, because you were crazy about the paintings! smiled, laughed and cried so hard with love for him, it broke rafayel's heart. this is his number one exhibition and the one where he captured his life, his air and his one and only love.

his love languages are spending time together and physical contact! he wants to hold you close and not let you go, kiss or touch you in every way possible, warm you and love you with his love and he is endlessly happy when you spend time with him like this, play with his hair and draw with him, raf will be over the moon!

will call you baby and his love absolutely always! because it's true. once you get into a relationship, he'll already use nicknames, he doesn't care, you're his favorite and that's it. 💅

zayne !

zayne is the most protective type of guy! he always wants to know that you're okay and you don't have any problems, and if you do, please tell him and he'll drop everything to rush over to you and protect you, help you and make you happy. it might have something to do with his profession, but either way, zayne just loves you beyond belief and wouldn't get over the moment if something happened to you.

already he wants to live together with you and come to your house, hugging you around the waist and kissing your shoulder. he wants to feel your warmth and let go of all the problems, bad moods and anger just by being near you and inhaling your scent.

he doesn't care if you work or not, he will pay for you everywhere and that's the truth! zayne wants to give you everything in this world, to make you happy and look at things while remembering your favorite guy, it will warm zayne's heart more than anything!

the most gentle and careful boy! sweetly holding your waist and stroking you a little while he listens with a smile on his face as you tell him something, he is so in love with you :( this may sound selfish, but zayne doesn't care who you are sitting with, he only wants to listen to you and look at you.

he has the most wonderful kisses. zayne kisses you with all the passion he has set aside for such a wonderful and intimate moment between you, he takes his time with you. gently he settles his hands on your cheeks and brushes his hands against your plump lips, savoring such a wonderful taste of love between you, trying to pull away every now and then so you can breathe a little, but he just can't, he wants to kiss you every second and never let go of those beautiful lips. will probably bite you a little if he's in a playful mood so he can kiss those spots on your lips afterward. 🫢

if we're talking about cuddling, it's one of zayne's favorite things to do. as much as he loves kissing you, feeling your warmth is so much more important to him. he can feel your pulse beating out his name and he smiles like a cat. just feeling you near gives him the best hope in the world and the fact that he's willing to fight every day just to keep you warm.

if you sleep next to him, zayne holds you very gently and sniffles softly in your ears. only with you can he sleep so soundly that he probably won't hear alarm clocks, he'll be late, but he'll kiss you and tell you how glad he is to have you in his life.

he'll text you throughout the day to see how you're feeling and if you want to visit him, and if zayne is more or less free, he'll have lunch with you!

he's not the jealous type. zaynehas confidence in you and in the fact that you'll never hurt him - that's enough. and if anyone starts thinking he has a chance with you, clearly he'll fly off to another galaxy.

he might come in upset from work sometimes and start ignoring you, just because he doesn't want to snap and say rude words in your direction, because he knows you don't deserve that. Kiss him on the forehead and tell him how much you love him - zayne will definitely cry and lay on your chest while you gently stroke his hair. he's such a baby.

his love languages are words and actions! i'm 100% sure of it. zayne shows his love for you through actions and doesn't mind telling the world about his endless love for just you. ( he's already planning to marry you and picking out a ring, hehe.)

will call you angel and baby! the cutest nicknames and only for you. he calls you that everywhere he goes and doesn't care about the stares of the people around him. you have the sweetest love! 🥺

xavier !

the smallest baby of all! literally the embodiment of love, sunshine and all that is purest. xavier has the most tender feelings for you, which he kept especially for you, protecting them from stares and dirty hands, just so you could see what a beautiful love he has for you.

i also think he's one of the most romantic guys. He thinks out every date so that you will definitely like it, makes a plan and then goes to you to ask for your opinion, the only one he will listen to. 🫢

but also, he'll also be happy to just sit at home with you, talking about different topics and cuddling until the wee hours of the morning on the couch while some movie is playing in the background. xavier will look at you with a look full of love, you lit a spark in him and only thanks to you it is always with him.

despite the fact that xavier seems too sweet and kind, he also has his dark side as a hunter, he will not be afraid to stand up for you at any moment, no matter what they do to him - he doesn't care. after all, you trusted him and trusted your heart, now he will always protect you from the evil in this world. you deserve nothing but heaven and all the beautiful things in it.

i would say xavier is the type of guy who loves hugs much more than kisses, just feeling your heartbeat and breathing - makes him happier than ever. him holding you close and stroking you with his palm while his other hand goes through your hair is something much more than just love, it's a special intimacy, keep it.

speaking of kissing though, xavier loves kissing your cheeks and hands! his most favorite places and the ones he once kissed for the first time, they are precious to him and so he dare not leave them without his special love. his lips are VERY soft, even too soft! the ones you want to kiss every second of the day. 😭 before nestling his lips on yours, xavier runs his finger along your cheeks and is sure to whisper sweet words, im sure!

i think he's jealous, sometimes too jealous. he's just afraid you'll leave him or find someone better. ☹️ seriously, the boy is ready to fight for you with anyone, just so you can feel his endless love. but don't worry, he will never blame you or fight with you, xavier is beyond that, he will just get over it and come running to you for a cuddle afterward!

and based on that, xavier is not a fan of fighting, just like the rest of the guys. he is a sweet baby and wants you to have a loving relationship with him and no aggression.

xavier loves to sleep next to you, because it's so peaceful and he knows that you are absolutely fine. covering you with his warm blanket and pulling you even closer to him! trying to put you together like a puzzle and kisses you softly behind your ear and then kisses your neck to let you know that xavier is there for you and always will be.

he will cook for you! even if he doesn't know how to cook, he will learn how to cook so that he can delight you every day with his masterpieces and see your smile after his incredibly tasty dishes.

like i said before, xavier is the most tactile baby of all, so his primary love language is physical contact! he loves snuggling with you, he loves cuddling, he loves stroking you, he loves when you sit on his lap, he loves when you braid his hair, he is just crazy about the way your bodies interact and the warmth you give each other. and another love language is support! you are his best and most loyal friend, he will trust you with all his secrets and more. xavier also wants to be your source of energy for the whole day, support you when you are in a bad mood and want to cry, or when you want to be alone, but he will still check in on you from time to time to make sure you are okay.

calling you all kinds of cute nicknames! he has no favorites, to him you are a baby, toddler, baby girl, little girl, princess, kitten, bear and everything in between. he is too sweet and wants you to know how beautiful you are in his eyes and what a gorgeous girl you are!

caleb !

my baby caleb! the most favorite of all and the one I myself would do anything for and protect him from any evil. 🥺 he has got all types of softie guys in him and is loving, and protective, and sweet, and hot! he is literally everything, i can say you won the lottery if you accepted his love, because caleb will give you the ultimate paradise with soft clouds, heartfelt confessions and with your most favorite fruits! my boy is the most loving and so he will do the best for his angel.

plus, he is the ultimate jokester! when caleb is around you, he always tries to make a joke somehow to make you smile sunny and then tickle you and hear your laughter that will make caleb himself laugh to tears.

caleb just walks up to you and rests his head on top of yours and follows you around like a lost child. 😭 i swear, if you walk downtown together, he'll probably cling to you so he doesn't lose sight of you (he's afraid of losing you.)

he also loves to eat and so he always wants to take you to different places he likes and treat you to something yummy for how well you did! (even if you didn't do anything.)

he's not jealous at all because he's confident in your relationship and won't let anyone ruin it. your harmony and your love is far above anything in his life, he is ready to keep it in his soul forever and even in death he will love you with his tender love. even if caleb notices someone trying to hit on you, he knows that person will get nothing, because you are only loyal to your gorgeous boyfriend and no one else. he will also make sure to stand up for you and tell the person to go elsewhere and leave you alone.

will introduce you to his grandmother without fail! he loves you both dearly and is confident that you will get along and find common ground, making caleb the happiest guy on this planet!

and how he loves to kiss you! very hard, but at the same time too tender! for caleb, all of you, beautiful and wonderful, all the parts of your body that he wants to kiss and give all his love! he presses his palms to your face and gazes into your eyes, mentally asking for your permission and only then does he kiss you, not allowing you to inhale and continuing to kiss you as his hands travel up and down your body. it's like you're the only thing alive to him in this world, and even though you are. 🫢

he has the tightest hugs and that's a fact. a hug that brings you back to the brightest place and protects you from every evil in this world while caleb quietly sings your favorite song to you, bringing tears to your eyes. he loves cuddling on your bed where he immediately and falls asleep on your chest.

he loves sleeping with you and waking up with you, as he feels your breath on his skin and smiles again, kissing your face and thinking he wants to wake up like that for the rest of his life. most likely he will sleep on top of you. 🫠 but no one minds because caleb is very warm and will replace any blanket for you!

never quarrels with you and doesn't care what others say. he listens to you and takes your side and then is completely calm to make his point. caleb cherishes you incredibly much and doesn't want to fight about anything, it's useless and too sad, and our baby boy always wants to make you happy.

so, love languages, what are his? most likely the most standard set of love: words, actions, support, and time together. that's what makes caleb happy and you don't have to pick one thing. he speaks many words of love that are absolutely true. always hugs you and kisses you at every moment to see the dimples on your cheeks. supports you in your toughest moments, tears you up when you're sad. and to top it all off, spends almost all of his time with you and wants to capture all the highlights of your life.

he calls you his baby girl and princess! after all, you deserve it. let's just say he's been calling you nicknames since day one of your relationship, he doesn't care. 😭 caleb loves it when you get embarrassed and try to look away, but he catches your chin with his finger and turns you around for a kiss gently purring "baby girl."

#— [ stefie ] 💘🫧🔮 #love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace x you #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #rafayel love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #caleb love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #caleb x reader