#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hetchdrive · 3 months

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I think we’re reading May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth at roughly the same time and are currently at roughly the same parts. I just wanted to say I think that’s very cool of us 😌 Do you have any favorite letters so far?

You're right that is very cool of us! Let me just uhhh look through my notes...

So far my favorite letters have been Goodsir's letter to his dad which I reblogged from you, for the reasons in the post. Goodsir is so bluntly endearing, somehow. He seems very young. Oh I've just looked up how old Goodsir was when the expedition vanished and he was 28. Oh alright then. I'm emotional about this.

Other favorite letter so far was unexpectedly one of John Irving's, to his sister-in-law Catherine. This paragraph really hit me as like, a premonition of the upcoming disaster:

"I intended to write something to amuse you, but I find I cannot help being serious. Everything around me, and every duty I am engaged in, tend at present to make me so-- I mean all keep me so much alive the feeling of a long separation from those near and dear to me. Even in writing I am reminded that a terrible long pause of anxious suspense is before me, when I can only hope, without the prospect of tidings of good or ill. So, my dear Katie, do not blame me that you should have been, whilst reading the mass of scribbling, obliged to banish your usual smiles. I will write you yet again, so I shall not take a very formal farewell of you at this time. My most brotherly love to my dear Lewis. --Yours very affectionately, John Irving."

Irving also sent back to England a number of drawings. Several men did but Irving's seem to be the best of the ones included in the book. Also, of two skeletons returned to England at the time of the McClintock expedition, one of them was identified as Irving by the presence of a maths medal next to the body, which I find deeply endearing. This book has made me a big Irving fan, honestly. Didn't have any strong feelings about him before starting reading this and now I'm like ough... my guy.

My other observation so far is that it seems like Franklin was unfairly characterized in the show, as his letters so far paint a picture of a fairly cautious man.

It is Fitzjames who is the king of hubris.

There are multiple letters where the endnotes make note of how the things he is saying shows he does not have a good understanding of the Arctic and that's really interesting to me from the perspective of seeing show!Crozier and Fitzjames' relationship conflict early on as coming from a place of Crozier's experience vs Fitzjames' support of Franklin's dismissal of him, with the idea (I had always thought) being that Franklin thinks his feelings of optimism and belief God will see them through are substitutes for dealing with the material realities of that place. And like, no! Actually that should have been Fitzjames, going off these letters! But it makes sense from a character writing perspective. Foolish, foolish man. Excited to see how my opinion of this evolves as I continue to read.

Also, Fitzjames' aggressive confidence in repeatedly pestering John Barrow Jr. about whether he's gotten the position or not is honestly kind of inspiring in a "if this man from the 1840s can speak like he knows anything when he clearly doesn't I myself should step up game in these job interviews". There's one particular letter that absolutely floored me, and it was the 11th of February one:

"In case of Crozier's appointment I send you a letter to Beaufort asking him to try for Le Vesconte which pray send at once as soon as you know I am not to go-- if I am appointed tear it up-- .... Mind I am in confident expectations of the Second Ship in Franklin's expedition nothing else is worth having." [I have used italics where there were underlines]

Nothing else is worth having. Absolutely awful, vainglorious man. This has made me dearly want to write my own version of my headcanon first meeting of "Fitzjames puffs himself up, fails to impress Crozier, feels rejected about it and forms a grudge" because holy shit, he is actually so much worse than I already thought. Also because "nothing else is worth having" would be a banger title.

I do appreciate that Fitzjames seems to have been a man who is eager to lift other men up, as this is not the only time he makes suggestions to Barrow Jr. about appointments and promotions-- if he was obsessed with status for himself he was at least trying to lift his friends up, as well. Pity this doesn't extend to Crozier! Would have been a very different expedition if it did!

Wow, long post which I took so long to write, my bad. What are your own favorite letters so far?

#crancisfrozier #asks #may we be spared to meet on earth #the terror

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saints-who-never-existed · 5 months

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Rereading The Terror

Chapter Forty-One: Crozier

This chapter covers Irving's funeral and Crozier's interrogation of Hickey. The latter I've already made a post about because it struck me so much on the second read through. So here's all the remaining things that jumped out at me.

We have a suitably grim and ghostly quote to open the chapter, first of all (and one that I believe is referenced in the Peglar Papers): "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" Intoned by Fitzjames as the men gather around Irving's waiting grave, "standing like dark wraiths in the still-swirling fog".

The grave itself is only three feet deep - that's how far Hickey and other diggers got before hitting the rock-hard permafrost. They've had to gather rocks to place over him to try and keep scavenging animals out. Crozier describes it as "a sign of most of the men's affection for John Irving. Most of the men." (Hickey, of course, not being among them...)

The officers/pallbearers lower Irving carefully into his grave on a cobbled-together wooden pallet since they don't have enough wood spare for a full coffin. Crozier observes very presciently that the buttons of Irving's dress uniform "would be there when nothing else but the boy's bleached bones and the gold gunnery medal survived the long process of decay."

One other thing to be buried with poor Irving is the silk handkerchief he gave to Silna all the way back in Chapter Twenty-Nine when he followed her out to her snow shelter. Only Crozier knows of it as he caught Silna in the act of returning it, placing it under Irving's head like a pillow. He has several unsavoury things to say about her initially - first he thinks she must have stolen the handkerchief, pilfered it from Irving's corpse even, and he even muses on the possibility that she could be responsible for his death in the first place, that she could have led her people toward Terror Camp to raid it and murdered Irving on the way to cover their tracks. But soon enough he overcomes that racist bullshittery with his psychic-Irish-granny-powers - seeing with his 'second sight' that returning the handkerchief is a gesture of respect and grief, possibly even love 👀"Now Crozier wondered if the two had been lovers."

And last but not least, another pièce de résistance and one that just absolutely guts me to my core - once the service is over, a group of officers dismiss the men originally meant to finish the burial and pick up shovels instead, intent on honouring their friend as best they can by burying him themselves... :'((( "Hodgson, Little, Thomas, Des Voeux, Le Vesconte, Blanky, Peglar and a few other officers stayed behind, dismissing the seamen's detail that had been waiting to bury the body. The officers shovelled soil and began setting in the first layer of stones together. They wanted Irving buried as best he could be under the circumstances."

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #Observations #Random Observations #Meta #Rereading The Terror #Terror Spoilers #Francis Crozier #John Irving #Cornelius Hickey #Silna #Lady Silence

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twistedtummies2 · 2 years

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Top 6 Versions of Sleepy Hollow

Due to a mixture of recent events and the Halloween Season (I don’t know about you all, but it started almost a month ago for me), I’ve been on something of a kick lately for one of my favorite classic spooky stories: Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” For those who don’t know, the basic story goes like this: a schoolteacher named Ichabod Crane travels to a town in New York, called Sleepy Hollow (which is a real place, for the record), and has a series of adventures as he tries to woo a wealthy young lady - Katrina Van Tassel - and matches wits with his rival - the town prankster, Brom Bones. At the climax, Ichabod is attacked by a mysterious ghost known as the Headless Horseman. He ultimately vanishes without a trace, his fate left ambiguous.

I’ve loved this story ever since I was very small: I used to tell it to children in schools, and for me, no Halloween is complete without seeing at least one version of the tale on that date (along with Hocus Pocus, but that’s another story). Recently, I’ve been revisiting several versions, so I thought it would be fun - with October fast approaching - to share some of my personal favorite renditions. Now, I’m not talking about different editions of the book itself, with different illustrators and varying edits to the text. I’m talking adaptations for film, TV, theatre, and so on. So expect those sorts of things here. There’s not much else to say, so let’s get right into it: these are My Top 6 Favorite Versions of Sleepy Hollow!

6. Tarrytown.

This musical is actually the reason I wanted to make this a Top 6 to begin with, because I felt it would be a crime not to mention it here. Created by Adam Wachter, “Tarrytown” is a musical reimagining of the Sleepy Hollow story. There’s actually been a couple of attempts at creating a proper, full-blown musical based on Sleepy Hollow, but Wachter’s, in my opinion, is the most unique and intriguing. The plot of the musical essentially makes two big twists to the story: first of all, it takes place in the modern day, rather than the late 1700s. Second of all, instead of wanting the love of Katrina, Ichabod instead wants the love…of Brom Bones. Yes, Ichabod is a homosexual in this story. Brom and Katrina are already married, but their marriage has become an increasingly unhappy one. Ichabod, realizing this, and wanting Brom for himself, drives a wedge between them to try and force them apart for good. Brom - while ambiguous in his own sexuality - is ultimately still very much in love with Katrina. Brom wants to salvage the marriage, thus leading to the conflict that results in Ichabod’s fateful encounter with the Headless Horseman. Just like in the original book, none of the three main characters are really perfect people. None of them are purely awful, but they all have their own vices and faults. It’s a tantalizing modern reinterpretation. Unfortunately, I’ve never actually SEEN this musical, which is why it ranks so low: all I have to judge are a plotline written up on the show’s official webpage, and the recent Studio Cast Recording. The Cast Recording stars Andy Mientus as Ichabod, Krysta Rodriguez as Katrina, and Jeremy Jordan as Brom: all three are brilliant performers I absolutely adore, and they each play their parts perfectly. If nothing else, listen to that soundtrack: it’s more than worth it.

5. The FOX TV Series.

I only recently got back to revisiting this series, and while it’s not perfect, I actually do find I like it more in returning to it than I probably did when I first checked it out. Heavily influenced by the Tim Burton film version (more on that later), the FOX TV series “Sleepy Hollow” is a supernatural crime drama, similar to shows like “Lucifer” or “Supernatural.” In this version, Ichabod Crane is not a selfish schoolteacher, but a dashing Revolutionary War hero. After a battle with a monstrous soldier - who becomes the Headless Horseman - Ichabod is seemingly slain…but his wife, Katrina - a witch - casts a spell that causes him to reawaken in the modern day. Working as a consultant to the local police department, Ichabod tackles strange crime in the area, battling wicked witches, warmongering demons…and, of course, the Headless Horseman. While the show and its interpretations of the main characters from the story only bear the slightest of resemblances to Irving’s classic legend, I love the actors and the different story arcs the characters have. Tom Mison as Ichabod, himself, is particularly impressive. His physical appearance manages to both call the character of the book to mind while matching the basic vision of a charming war hero, and while his character is very different from the character in the story, he does bring a sort of energy to it that reminds one of the spindly schoolmaster’s many quirks in other adaptations, all while still having his own unique handle on the part. Altogether, the show is a crazy ride, but it’s one I’m happy to take.

4. The Hallmark Production.

Once upon a time, this version actually ranked more highly for me, but over time, I’ve seen more and more of its flaws. Having said that, it’s still an extremely worthy adaptation. Released in 1999, no doubt capitalizing on the hype around Tim Burton’s movie that same year (again, more on that later), this TV film production is basically just a straightforward adaptation of the original story, stretched out to fit a feature length. It doesn’t really change much from the original tale, unlike a lot of other “long” versions of the story, but simply expands on different things brought up in the book to create its plot. Like I said, this one DOES have some issues: the pace drags in a couple of places (though not especially badly; trust me, I’ve seen far worse), and it’s not really all that scary when the dark stuff comes up (partially due to the fact the Horseman is deliberately imagined as a more benign specter than in almost any other version), but it’s still got a great sense of atmosphere and some fine performances. Once again, chief among them is our Ichabod: the character is played by Broadway actor Brent Carver. In my opinion, Carver is the definitive Ichabod Crane: when I think of Ichabod, it’s Carver’s version I think of above all else. Out of the six renditions here, he simply looks, sounds, and all around FEELS the closest to how I, personally, imagined Ichabod Crane when reading the story. Carver almost singlehandedly makes this version as good as it is, and more than worthy of high placement.

3. Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow.

Once upon a time, I actually really, REALLY disliked this movie. Nowadays, I’ve softened up to it considerably: I now consider it an underappreciated masterpiece, the very definition of a cult classic. This is mostly because, back then, I didn’t really UNDERSTAND the film; nowadays, I do, and it has given me a whole new appreciation for what the movie wanted to accomplish. Arguably one of the most influential versions of the story, Tim Burton’s 1999 blockbuster is a drastic reimagining of the tale: in this movie, Ichabod Crane (played by Johnny Depp, because of course he is) is a detective, not a schoolmaster, who comes to Sleepy Hollow to solve a series of murders. At first, he believes they are the work of a mortal serial killer simply emulating the legendary Headless Horseman, but he ultimately comes to learn that the ghost is VERY real. With this in mind, Ichabod then changes course to try and determine why the spirit of the Horseman is committing these crimes, and thus uncovers a dark conspiracy at work in Sleepy Hollow. The movie is designed to be, in just about every respect, a Hammer Horror film. It is not simply an homage to those films, but in many ways, it feels EXACTLY like a Hammer Horror film made in the late 90s…just without Hammer’s brand name. Everything about this film - from the performances, to the aesthetic style, to the writing, and even to elements of Danny Elfman’s musical score - all feel precisely how I would imagine a Hammer version of Sleepy Hollow might have been like. And as I’ve come to adore Hammer Horror over the years, I appreciate the film more than I ever did before. I have also come to appreciate that, while the movie radically reinvents the legend, it also keep a lot of elements from the original story, and even references the Disney version, of all things, in a few places. It is a brilliant reinvention of a timeless classic, and deserves all the credit it gets, and possibly more. Ultimately, the only reason it isn’t higher is that I like the original story more. Plain and simple.

2. The Rabbit Ears Production.

This is quite possibly the most obscure entry on the list, but it deserves its upper-tier rank. Rabbit Ears was a company that produced a series of children’s books retelling various classic stories. The books alone were amazing, but this wasn’t the best part. Rabbit Ears also created a series of audio cassettes (yeah, remember those?) of professional readings of the stories featuring major celebrity actors. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! The company ALSO provided DVD and VHS videos that essentially “animated” the illustrations of the books, with the professional readings as the soundtrack; these were sometimes aired on T.V., too. The animated shorts were low budget – basically just literal moving illustrations, as I said – but the series was extremely popular. Their version of Sleepy Hollow was nominated for several awards, including a Grammy, and actually won a couple! And by God, you can see why. What makes this version so wonderful, in every way, comes down to one word and one word only: ATMOSPHERE. This production is DRIPPING with atmosphere. More so than any other Rabbit Ear production, and, in fact, more than ANY version of Sleepy Hollow. That’s right, ANY version of Sleepy Hollow; even our number one spot can’t quite top it on the atmosphere spectrum! It is narrated beautifully by Glenn Close, whose voice lends a truly haunting and even mystical quality to the whole thing. Credit must also be given to Robert Van Nutt's illustrations. Even though the animation is minimalistic, the actual images are so breathtaking, and so drenched in the style of an old New England storybook, it lends even more weight to an already heavy work. And then there’s the music. Oh. God. The. MUSIC! Composed by Tim Story, this is frankly some of the most beautiful, breathtaking music I have EVER heard in connection to the tale. From LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW NOTES, it immediately grabs your attention, and immerses you in the haunting world of Sleepy Hollow. Quite simply, this is perhaps the most artistically beautiful take on the story out there. It seems to sort of be off-and-on YouTube, so if you’re lucky, you can find it for viewing there. Or you can purchase the DVD off Rabbit Ears’ website: your choice.

1. The Disney Version.

Alongside Tim Burton’s version of the tale, Disney’s take on Sleepy Hollow is probably the most well-known and influential. And to be honest, I’m more than okay with that. Narrated and with music performed by the immortal Bing Crosby, Disney’s version is essentially an animated pantomime of the original tale. What I love most about this version, as an adult, is how it handles the source material. You would expect Disney to change a lot of the story and characters, but surprisingly, this is one of the most book-accurate versions on the list. Most of Crosby’s narration is either directly quoted or paraphrased from Irving’s story, and the three main characters are not greatly changed from their original versions. No one of the three - Ichabod, Katrina, and Brom - is made out to be a pure-blooded hero, and no one of the three is made out to be a purely naty baddy. They’re all bad in their own ways, and good in their own ways. It’s kind of amazing to see Disney take such a sincere stab at things. At the same time, they do make the story more cinematic, injecting slapstick cartoon antics and creating a rip-roaring climax that might be one of the greatest finales to any Disney animated short of all time. The songs, though few in number, are all very fun and highly catchy: I still hum and whistle them to myself from time to time, regardless of the year. And, as you would expect, the animation is top notch. The short initially was released as part of the package feature “The Adventures of Ichabod & Mr. Toad,” where it was preceded by a short film version of “The Wind in the Willows,” narrated by Basil Rathbone. However, you can also find the short on its own, if you look around, or just skip to that part in the feature; it doesn’t affect much to do that. However you choose to watch it, it is a true masterpiece, just as classic as the story that spawned it. Without a shadow of a doubt, this is My Favorite Version of Sleepy Hollow.

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rosemaryandbrine · 20 days

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after browing terror tumblr all day and reading fics, these are the conclusions i've come to regarding my faves, can you tell me if they're correct? (still wimping out from seeing the show bc the ones where Everyone Dies at the End make me so sad)

Edward: seems cold, standoffish, uptight, awkward - definitely is all those things because he's British™️, but an anxious softie underneath it all

Jopson: seems soft and is, but is also stubborn and proud and arrogant, very Proper, if this were Downton Abbey he'd be the youngest butler ever, the definition of repressed Yearning

Sol: pure of heart (mostly), dumb of ass, wants to do the Right Thing but often ends up doing the complete opposite due to horniness and bad vibe reading skills, he'll get there eventually, soft pet names for everyone he loves (*cough* Tommy *cough*), definitely gives the best bear hugs

Tommy: quiet, Odd vibes but is just lonely and sad, his number one wish is to be important to someone, touch-starved as anything, also wants to do the Right Thing

Irving: Scottish accent (don't ask me how I got this), quiet, reserved, a little judgemental, almost always having a full-on gay crisis, can remember whole chapters of theological books without much effort but blanks every time Sol takes his shirt off

Georgie: baby slut (affectionate), severe daddy issues and a praise kink for days, just wants to be someone's good boy

Bryant: big bear who looks like he could snap you in two, secret romantic, soft for Georgie only, in the AUs he's always going to be in law enforcement of some kind don't @ me

(the last two are purely fanon since i couldn't see much for them beyond what you wrote and the occasional artwork 😅)

I ABSOLUTELY can, this is like catnip to me!

(Under a cut because I rambled)

Gonna go point by point:

Little - I wouldn't say cold necessarily but his position as first lieutenant definitely isolates him and to me, as a person... somewhere on the autistic spectrum, I see a lot of those traits in Ned as well. He cares deeply about the men under his command but has no real way to relate to them or position himself in terms of leadership. He does mean well!! He is trying! It's just that every single day, he gets emails.

Jopson - see Jopson has ruthlessly tried to repress any emotional softness but it does show itself at times - he's a caretaker at his core, at times to his own detriment (lots of times, in fact). He clings to propriety and The Rules because they keep you safe, at least superficially. Until they don't. He's also ferociously loyal to Crozier, the ships' captain, in a way that edges towards henchman. Like it could go very badly if Crozier WASN'T a decent man. you're absolutely right that he'd be Downton Abbey's youngest butler, and he would be INSUFFERABLE about it. I love him very much.

sol - (mostly) pure of heart and dumb of ass, you get him!!! He's a good dog. He's very invested, I think, in the image of himself as a marine. It's been his identity his whole adult life, and there's a sense of resentment mingled with pride, because marines were considered very expendable in the navy, occupying a weird position as enforcers of military discipline but also being extremely low on the ships' totem pole, there to do the grunt work and mocked by the sailors for being idiot conscripts. and this leads sol to THINK he knows what he's doing when he mutinies because who else is going to look after himself and his men but him, and yeah, he cannot read a vibe to save his life, because he has blinkers shaped like masculinity and the Victorian navy on and they are. extremely hard to remove. (He definitely gives Tommy All the pet names. That's his sweetheart, his queen, his pretty petal)

Tommy Armitage light of my life sun of my days - you get him too, he's also in this weird liminal space where he's a steward but he DESPERATELY wants to be a marine (literally, "he longs for it," hickey says at one point, and when hickey's got you figured out: oof), but he's deaf so he can't but on terror they take him in anyway? But he's never quite one of them, and he knows it. And then there's Sol, who is everything he wanted to be and also everything he jist *wants.* He hero worships Tozer and I think is pretty strongly implied in the show itself to be deeply in love with him. Also, and very importantly: he's a boy who is a gun.

Irving - no but you're RIGHT because he was Scottish! and historically probably would have had a slight Scottish accent - he was posh but not posh enough to have been sent to boarding school and have it trained out of him - but Ronan Raftery plays him with an English accent on the show, (possibly because he's Irish and I think possibly doing a Scottish accent might be hard as they're similar cadences and it could easily slip??) He is deeply spiritually Scottish however even then. He is always always always in a state of gay crisis and FURIOUS about it, and clings to religion as a way through. It. Does not really help.

Georgie and Bryant get answered together because You Know - so Bryant is well, a bit of a dick. He's the same rank as Tozer, a Marine Sergeant, on the opposite ship and he wears it comfortably, with a touch of the same arrogance. He's less lazy than Sol is, and independent enough that I don't personally think he would ever have mutinied, at least not with Hickey. I think this lean towards Authority is why he gives such strong law enforcement vibes. That and the fact that he's a prick (affectionate).

He's is absolutely only soft for Georgie - in the show their one scene together is everything to me and sent me into full derangement about them and caused me to fill up half the ao3 ship tag. They're just talking on the deck but it packs in so much stuff, and it's the only scene where Bryant shows any doubt or vulnerability, and he shows it to Georgie! Who is in fact the Sweetest Angel and like you say, just wants to be good, and has a puppy crush on Bryant a mile wide. Georgie is also the ships' boy, the youngest and lowest ranked of all the sailors, and Bryant, in his own way, is kind to him when he absolutely doesn't have to be, and also teases him a little bit? It's cute. I'm so normal about these two I swear.

baby slut (affectionate), yes yes yes. As you say it's a lot of fanon because they're very much minor characters but also Georgie came to me in a dream and told me it was true.

thank you so much for this ask, it was a lot of fun to answer!! and also if you decide you would like to watch the show (completely understand re: everyone dies at the end, it's a Lot) I think there's a link to a Google drive somewhere out there that I could find 😉

#answered #the terror #lads lads lads (homoerotic)#mwah!!!

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purpleplaid17 · 2 months

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Jess Watches // Mon 11 Mar // Day 168 & Tues 12 Mar // Day 169 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Severance (rw with mum) 1x09 The We We Are (s1 Finale)

The team discovers troubling revelations.

Dylan - How did he not cramp up holding those switches for so long? All those fingertraps trained him well. He deserves all the kinky waffle parties he desires.

Irving - From a military family and a whistleblower. What made him start investigating Lumon? and how does his Outie know Burt?

Helly - The jawdropping revelation that she'a an Eagan. The happy office photos were of manipulated situations but Helena seemed genuinely excited to put her faith in her family's work. She is a fascinating contradiction.

Mark - She's alive!!! The tension that built around him piecing together his Outie's life while trying to get a moment alone to talk to his sister still had me on the edge of my seat.

The rewatch has got me even more hyped for s2. Anyone have any theories about it? I'd love to hear them.

Loudermilk (with mum) 1x03 You're Only as Sick as Your Secrets

Loudermilk goes to great lengths to get Claire to open up about her deep-seated issues, with mixed results. Mugsy reaches out to his estranged daughter and finds that some relationships are harder to fix than others.

Mugsy being an absolute idiot parent. I'm glad everyone called out his shitty excuses for abandoning his 9 children (counting the twins ofc). Also, I'm free for frisbee if anyone wants a game?

Six Nations: Full Contact Ep 5 La Défense

Following a rocky start, everything depends on the next game for last years champions, France. Will they find their form or is the title gone for good?

I do not remember France beating England so emphatically. I thought I watched it last year but maybe not this one for some reason.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (rw) 3x13 The Zeppo

Xander experiences an adventure of his own when he encounters a group of reanimated corpses. Meanwhile, Buffy and her friends battle the forces of evil when the Hellmouth reopens.

I used to like Xander. He was a lovable goof. But now rewatching, it is very clear he was a JW self-insert. And I think that's the reason why his 'humour' these first 3 seasons just hasn't landed for me like it used to. So I very much enjoyed Cordelia's takedown "There was no part of that that wasn't fun."

#severance #loudermilk #six nations full contact #buffy the vampire slayer #polls #tumblr polls #jess watches #day 168 #day 169 #i could've said more about buffy but didn't want to put any stronger negativity in the tags

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coconutwaterbending · 5 months

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10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags (we'll see about that last one) I haven't made a text post in so long how's everyone doing. Thank you, rj (@sidprescot), for the tag! This was a nice surprise. :)

Gosh do I have a type and they're all Old Men and Tragic Ladies my beloved. Let's go!! 1. Varric Tethras (Dragon Age 2): he shot right through my heart with that crossbow THE LITERAL SECOND he came on screen and I've been cursing Bioware ever since. He is a nonromanceable short king and I have never wanted anyone more thx. 2. Nakmor Drack (Mass Effect Andromeda): the Tempest Crew is so freaking charming, and while I love my jelly fish cat aliens the Angara, my favorite character is absolutely this old cantakerous grandpa Krogan. Whom, much like Wrex, I wish I could romance. (p.s. there is a TEASE of a flirt option and u can imagine how little that helped my case) 3. Spock (literally every Star Trek iteration): He is my Everything. Nemoy, Quinto, and Peck all bring something unique to the character's portrayal. I love him in every universe and I can never get enough of this EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED NERD.

4. Alicent Hightower (House of the Dragon): one half of my divorced lesbinems and I feel so much for her and the tragedy/complexity of both her character and the heartwrenching slow decay of her r/s with Rhaenyra. I cannot wait for S2. 5. Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII): ooooough, beautiful, tragic, kind, funny, cool flower seller of my life. Remake!Aerith particularly stole my heart along with the show. There is this sad, beguiling mystery about her that draws you in, and she is so cheerful in spite of it all. I can't wait for Rebirth but also I am terrified lol. 6. Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher): "How ravishing she is, he thought. Everything about her is ravishing. And menacing. Those colours of hers; that contrast of black and white. Beauty and menace. Her raven-black, natural curls. Her cheekbones, pronounced, emphasising a wrinkle, which her smile – if she deigned to smile – created beside her mouth, wonderfully narrow and pale beneath her lipstick…" I mean. C'mon. That is MY WIFE etc, copy paste rj's exact blurb. Anya Chalotra is the perfect Yen. She is everything and deserves the world and I will glady let her burn it all down and murder me if she wants to. 7. Zero (Final Fantasy XIV): [Endwalker patch spoilers!] who doesn't love an autistic badass goth half-human half-voidsent who has lived as a monster for so long she forgot her own identity and is learning how to be human again and finding her humanity via the power of friendship and delicious food, like. I needed more of her and I miss her already!!!

8. Kim Wexler (Better Call Saul): omg so hard to pick just one from this show (ilu nacho), but Kim Wexler SUCKER PUNCHES U IN THE THROAT with her awesomeness. She is this extremely competent, understated cool, calculating yet caring and earnest character who compliments Jimmy so well and whose nuances her amazing actress Rhea Seehorn manages to convey so masterfully. She is also tragic af, but hello it's Breaking Bad prequel lol. On that note... 9. Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium): DOUBLE KIM WHAMMY!!! They're so alike it's not even funny. I'd say Kim has the stronger moral center between the two, but I love them for many of the same reasons. He is also extremely competent, understated cool, with a side of being totally game for Harry's antics once he warms up to him (my Harry build was 'himbo' so he did a lot of dumb shit but he was nice). 10. Irving Bailiff (Severance): firstable, if you haven't seen Severance yet, please do yourself the favor and don't let me spoil this for u!! Irving Bailiff is an Experience. He is a stickler for the rules and very much a stick in the mud compared to his colleagues, but his true self leaks into this version of himself slowly at first, then in surprising bursts of rebellion that become clear at the end when it is shown that his Outtie/true self is actively trying to bring Lumon down like a TOTAL FUCKING BADASS in the most delightful reveal. Also he has a whirlwind romance with another old man played by Christopher Walken.

phew!! this was fun. lol @ my answers getting longer. I'm not tagging anyone but consider this an invitation to join in on the fun anyway!

#tag games

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openingnightposts · 16 hours

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#GreenwichVillage #NewYorkTheater #OffBroadway #PublicTheater #SallyandTom #TulisMcCall

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smokeybrandreviews · 1 year

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NBA Rant: Changing of the Guard

This trade deadline scrum was everything I love about the NBA. There were several consequential trades but the three that made the most impact were, of course, KD, Kyrie, and Westbrick. So let's get into them!

Russ got banished to Utah for a Buyout and the LAkers got stacked in return

So i had to look into this trade and double check some stuff before i commented on it but how about them motherf*ckin' LAkers?! Bro, we turned Brody Westbrick into D-Lo, Malik Beasley, and Jarred Vanderbilt. That sh*t is f*cking insane! This single trade literally fixes every issue the LAkers have had all season long. You got the playmaking you need D-Lo, shoooting in Beasley, and ridiculous defense in Vanderbilt. More than that, the LAkers got big again. They have legit size out there on the floor now, especially with Rui in the cut. This team is big. It's athletic. And, more than anything, it's finally f*cking balanced. This team as it's constructed right now can definitely f*ck some teams up. If this unit can stay healthy and develop some chemistry, they're going to be scary going forward.

Kyrie to the Mavs out of spite

It's no secret Kyrie wanted out of Brooklyn. Dude was very much audible about a trade to the LAkers since the off-season. He final got that wish by getting sent to f*cking Dallas! Joe Tsai has gone on record saying Irving landing in Texas, instead of his preferred destination out in SoCal, was specifically out of spite. It doesn't even matter what the Nets got in return (Dorian Finney-Smith, Spencer Dinwiddie, and a First Rounder), they basically f*cked Kyrie on the way out because he refused to compromise his integrity. Say what you will about the man's views, he stands by his convictions and bears the consequences like every man should. In the meantime, Kyrie gets to run with Luka, who is tearing up this league like nobody's business. Irving is still on an expiring contract and I feel like Cuban thinks he can resing him going forward but I dunno. Those bright lights in LA have a strong siren effect and all those contract we just took on are expiring next season so...

Kevin Durant finally forces his way out of Brooklyn, too

This last one was a big deal. The Nets actually traded Kevin f*cking Durant, to the goddamn Suns! That sh*t is insane! Now, on paper, this looks ridiculous. KD and his exposure skillet, running along side D-Book with all of that disgusting scoring potential, paced by the deft hand of Chris Paul who is easily the best Point of his generation. That sh*t is mad terrifying. In principal. However, Phoenix gave up A LOT to make this happen. They dropped TJ Warren, Mikael Bridges, Cam Johnson, AND FOUR First Round picks. Look, it's KD. He was definitely going to command this much in the open market. And, I mean, they got him under contract four the next four seasons so there's that, but goddamn! That's a large chunk of your depth, Salary Cap over the term of his contract, and leverage on your future! For, what? Two years of Prime KD? Dude is already showing signs of slowing down and these next few Drafts are loaded with young talent just waiting to be developed. Was this the right move? Sure. Was it the right time? I don't think so but we'll see. All I know ow for sure is that the West is mad scary again.

#NBA Rant #Trade Deadline

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smokeybrand · 1 year

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NBA Rant: Changing of the Guard

Russ got banished to Utah for a Buyout and the LAkers got stacked in return

Kyrie to the Mavs out of spite

Kevin Durant finally forces his way out of Brooklyn, too

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vulpixen · 2 years

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In having thought back to Dragon Age, over the years I have been crafting an au where all seven origin Wardens were recruited by Duncan and survived the Joining and would become the Heroes of Fereldan they were meant to be. Plus, the optional Orlesian Grey Warden from Awakening who would assist them in that continuation. Its changed a lot over the years and I think I’m finally satisfied with it.

And for Dragon Age 2, all three classes Hawke can be existing, but with a twist! One of them is human and the other two are an elf and dwarf who were adopted into the family who become the Champions of Kirkwall they’ll be known as.

Finally, Dragon Age Inquisition. All six potential Inquisitors survived the catastrophe, but only four of them bear the shared mark within their respective hands, and the other two becoming companions to them. All this existing within the same au saga! Here is what I have so far and I may add more to it. May or may not be a fic using all this, but I wanted to share my own ideas.

Dragon Age Origins (headcanons):

All seven Wardens from the six origins (including the elven mage/human mage) were recruited/saved by Duncan, survived the Joining, and kicked the Archdemon's ass together; with the addition of all the possible companions. Except Loghain, he got axed because fuck him. The Wardens are Joan Cousland (warrior/templar), Dante Amell (mage/shapeshifter), Sindra Aeducan (rogue/duelist), Verroth Brosca (warrior/berserker), Limerick Surana (mage/arcane warrior), Faelan Mahariel (rogue/ranger), Misha Tabris (warrior/champion). And the mabari hound of Joan’s is named Griffon. The mabari that they find and bonds with Verroth is named Barkspawn, a name they all can agree on thanks to Alistair’s suggestion.

Joan and Alistair knew each other as children from when Joan and her father and brother would travel to Redcliffe for important matters. A young Joan would join in on Alistair's antics around the castle, having become fast friends. During the summer months of those more innocent years, Joan and Alistair would play even more when he could stay with her and her family. When the time came that Alistair was forced to live in the Chantry, him and Joan would keep in touch to write letters over the years, even if it saddened the two that they could not play together anymore.

The voices/personality of each of the Wardens would be Joan - wise; Dante - suave; Misha - cocky; Limerick - mystical; Faelan - experienced; Verroth - violent; Sindra - smart.

Oren and Oriana are alive and well, not having been killed when Rendon Howe's men captured Cousland castle. Escaping to Antiva thanks to Joan and gang when arriving in Denerim to recruit Misha.

Joan romances Alistair. Misha and Dante romances Zevran. Faelan romances Morrigan and performed the Dark Ritual. Verroth and Sindra romances Leliana. Sindra and Limerick become a couple, and is okay with Sindra being with Leliana, too.

Limerick loved being in the Circle, being grateful for not only learning to master his magic, but for the higher education he lacked living in Lothering with his financially troubled family. But later he does see from an outsider’s point of view that the Circle isn’t so kind. Limerick felt wronged for doing what he was told to do by Irving in exposing Jowan as a blood mage. It was hell for him when venturing out of Kinloch Hold for the first time as he felt like his legs were going to fall off from all the walking.

Misha looked up to her mother much of her life until she died. She loves her cousins and father just as much as well as the Alienage she was born and raised in. She learned how to fight with an axe since she was young. When the aspect of an arranged marriage came about, Misha wasn’t all for it, but the day came, and she met her would-be husband. It would not come to pass because of the Arl’s son. Misha killed several of the guards alongside her cousin. Misha didn’t hesitate to deny Vaughn’s deal and kill him and his friends to save her other cousin. Before she was to leave the Alienage to Ostagar, her father gave her mother’s weapon as a parting gift to her. She did express grief and remorse for the loss of her fiancée and kept the wedding ring he crafted to use in wedding with Dante and Zevran.

Dante was the opposite to Limerick; he hated being trapped in the Circle Tower, but still appreciate learning how to control his magic. Dante almost escaped from the Circle with Anders but chose to be distraction for Anders to escape without him. He greatly missed his mother and siblings, wanting to know what became of them, though giving up as the year’s past. He did learn the fate of his mother, going to the place where her ashes were scattered.

After slaying the Archdemon, each of the seven wardens went on their own paths: Joan reigned as queen alongside Alistair, eventually blessing him with three heirs, Duncan, Rose and Eleanor, to raise and love; having found a way conceive with more success. Verroth remained with Leiliana, bringing a baby girl, Andrea, into the worl Misha and Dante traveled across the lands with Zevran on their own quest across Thedas, with Misha birthing two boys, River and Silas, from all the lovemaking. Sindra was rightfully titled the new Warden-Commander of Fereldan, with Limerick being her Warden-Constable, they had Amaia. As for Faelan, he traveled across Thedas in search for Morrigan to be with her and their son Keiran. Luckily, with the help of old friends and new, he accomplished this and traveled through the eluvian with Morrigan.

Major choices: Connor was saved without having to sacrifice his mother, Isolde. The Sacred Ashes were preserved with the dragon not being slain. Bhelen was made King of Orzammar and the Anvil of the Void destroyed, killing Branka. Brokered peace between the werewolves and elves, Zatherian sacrificing his life to break the curse. Saved Redcliffe from the undead. Recruited Jowan into the group. Liberated the Circle of Magi from demons and saved the remaining mages, including Irving. In Soldier's Peak, they allowed Avernus to continue his research, but more ethical means than before and killed the demon that possessed Sophia's body. Fulfilled all the companion’s quests with positive results, including the one where Faelan Mahariel "killed" Flemeth, and every other possible quest with mostly positive results.

When the seven Wardens entered the Fade by the Sloth demon in the Circle, they each saw their own unique dreams. Joan saw that her whole family was happy and alive again. Verroth seeing that his mother began to treat him right, meeting his father for the first time, seeing his sister happy with her husband and child. Sindra dreamed that her brother was alive and that Bhelen getting respect equally, with the addition of getting together with Gorim. Limerick dreamt of becoming First Enchanter of the College of Magi, though was the first to saw it as nothing more than a dream and worked to free his fellow wardens from Sloth. Misha in her dream too saw what could have been if Nelaros was not killed and her mother being alive. Faelan in his dream saw an image he himself imagined of what his parents looked like, and that his friend Tamlen was never tainted. Dante Amell dreamed of being a free man, using the opportunity to see his mother and family in Kirkwall until he began to see the faults within the dream.

Of course, there were many things each of the wardens did not agree on when it came to certain choices. To name one big example was deciding who to crown King of Orzammar. Coming back to the dwarvan city caused great turmoil between Sindra and Verroth, the two arguing in anger, causing a temporary rift within the group that lasted until they killed the Broodmother. It was there that they settled on the decision on Bhelen becoming Orzammar's king, believing he would last much longer than Harromont would've, yet Sindra still hated the decision after Harrowmont’s execution.

Sindra loved both of her brothers, despite them getting on her nerves at times. She felt that her older brother Trian did not deserve to be killed and was genuinely caught off when Bhelen betrayed her.

Sindra knew King Cailan, as children, when the late King Maric and his son would be invited by her king-father to watch Proving's sometimes. Her and Cailan would play together, but lost touch over the years.

During the events of Awakening, Sindra was promoted to Warden-Commander and Limerick as Warden-Constable and the rest of the Wardens would come to assist with whatever they needed for old times’ sake. A Grey Warden from Orlais was sent to them in good faith named Lyric Caron (warrior/guardian). The three would work together in recruiting new Grey Wardens into their fold in order to defend the Keep and Amaranthine from the darkspawn threat. And would help their companions through their own troubles.

Lyric Caron is a straightforward woman who is new to Fereldan and its customs and is fascinated with how the Heroes of Fereldan manage warden duties so… unlike how she was taught in the order. She watches and learns under the seven and can’t help to admire them and learning of their adventures. Lyric has a wife and child back home she hopes will be alright while she is in Fereldan for a while.

With Nathaniel Howe, the pregnant Queen of Fereldan Joan would chat with him and convince him he should join the Grey Wardens and is remorseful for what happened to the remainder of his family and doesn’t blame him for what his father did. And imprisoned those who conspired with Rendon Howe.

With Velanna, Faelan would be able to put her at ease with their presence in meeting fellow elves and help her get her sister back, however they can.

With Oghren, Verroth and Misha would have a time convincing him to get back with his wife and mend their relationship.

With Justice, they convince him he can leave the deceased body of the former warden for his wife to have buried. Justice ending up possessing Anders’ cat Ser Pounce-A-Lot.

With Anders, he is happy to see Dante and Limerick again after so long since their Circle days. And they help him be on his way without issue when the mission is complete.

With Sigrun, she is excited to meet Verroth and Sindra and gets their autographs as they were inspiring to her as a dwarf.

They chose to spare the Architect and managed to keep both the Keep and Amaranthine from falling to destruction.

Sindra, Limerick and Lyric take up the mission in Amgarrak and succeeded.

During the Witch Hunt, Faelan is aided by Joan, her mabari Griffon and Limerick to find Morrigan and learn of her fate. Faelan would walk into the Eluvian with Morrigan to be with her and their son, and the others retrieved the book in turn.

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Dragon Age 2 (headcanons and au):

There was not one, but three Hawke's: Estelle (reaver warrior, diplomatic/helpful), Damian (blood mage, humorous/charming), and Abigail (assassin rogue, aggressive/direct).

Both Carver and Bethany live, as they were saved by their siblings from the ogre in time.

Anders never merged with Justice and got to keep Ser-Pounce-Alot, with said cat becoming possessed by Justice and stays that way. The cat having become Anders’ familiar in a sense.

Merrill never attempted to rebuild the mirror, instead the real reason she had to leave the clan was because she turned to blood magic to gain more knowledge from a demon. Velana would tell Keeper Marethari to get her shit together and help convince her and the Clan to move on and back to Fereldan now that the Blight ended.

Their shared mabari is named Falcon.

Bethany and Carver were left at home while their siblings went on the Deep Roads expedition. When Bethany was taken to the Circle, this further encouraged Carver to join the Templar Order to keep Bethany safe.

Abigail and Anders got married a year after the expedition, having two sons Malcolm and Dante. Damian romances Isabella and Fenris, having a son and daughter Adrian and Adelle. Estelle romances Varric and Merrill, living with him at the Hanged Man, then eventually having daughters named Tonya and Toriel.

Orsino NEVER became a Harvester; instead, sacrificing his life to stop Meredith in the final battle.

Abigail has issues managing her anger and doesn’t want her friends and family to be pushed around. Damian uses his humor to mask his negative emotions in front of most people, pretending to be fine when he’s not fine. Estelle wants to be helpful and find solutions to not feel like a burden to those around her, even if it’s not true, having stemmed from being abandoned and being different than the rest of the family. Abigail, Bethany, and Carver would fight anyone who says Damian and Estelle aren’t family because of what race they each are.

________________________________________________________________

Dragon Age Inquisition (headcanons):

All six "potential" Inquisitors survived the Conclave; four out of the six sharing the power of the Anchor. Their names being: Nico Cadash (warrior/reaver), Lorna Lavellan (mage/rift mage) and her younger brother Liam Lavellan (warrior/champion), Ivan Trevelyan (mage/knight-enchanter) and his twin sister Iris (warrior/templar), and Rasha Adaar (rogue/artificer). Lorna being the main Inquisitor.

Managing to recruit both the Templars and Mages, making them cooperate to close the Breach. Lorna, Rasha and Liam helped the mages in Redcliffe, while Iris, Ivan and Nico went to help the templars, putting an end to the war. Merrill drinks from the fountain as Morrigan isn’t there to do it.

Lorna romances Solas, conceived a lovechild before he left for those years before Trespasser, birthing a son named, Lunas, and giving him all the love and care he needs. Ivan romances Cassandra and Galyan and have twins name Mason and Madeline. Rasha romances Blackwall and has a few kids with him. Liam romances Iron Bull and Dorian both and has one child. Nico romances Josephine and has children. Iris and Cullen married and have three kids name Ryder, Samuel, and Felicia.

Cassandra's mage lover lives and has children with him. Sera and Dagna are in a relationship. And so are Dorian and Iron Bull.

Leliana is made Divine of the Chantry and the Inquisition is ultimately… disbanded.

Lorna, Ivan, Nico and Rasha get prosthetic arms.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age 2 #dragon age inquisition #dao #da2 #dai #hero of fereldan #champion of kirkwall #the inquisitor #canon x oc #vulpixen writes #vulpixens ocs #dragon age headcanons #survived au

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ainosgarden · 2 years

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Your severance posts are making me INSANEEEEEE first of all I mentioned this in the replies to ur irv post but if you look at the way Milchik interacts with Irv in the first few episodes (or rather, does not interact with him) there is definitely something Up with them

Secondly, I simultaneously do and do not want to hear about your theories for where Burt’s storyline is heading the finale made me so sad and I just want him and Irv to be happy

thank you for enjoying my severance posts!!

it actually didn't even occur to me to read into the interactions between milchick and irving, so what you said had opened my third eye in a sense asddjkhfjkegy the possibility of irving and milchick once working together or of even irving training milchick for his job is so fucked up that i could really see it happening. i wonder how long milchick has worked at lumon and what's his story. he's clearly out of the loop from whatever alliance cobel and graner had going on, and probably very eager to shove cobel out of the picture. what happened in the finale will surely reflect badly on him as well. maybe he'll also be punished in s2...

(un)fortunately, i don't really have any theories about burt for now, since we still have little information about him as a character. for me, the fact that his outie seems to have a normal and lovely home life points to the unlikelihood of him being invested in the anti-severance cause in the first place. so he might have no idea who irving is outside (despite the high probability of irv's outie knowing who burt is). BUT, i'd like to believe that burt's outie is just as caring and daring as his innie. so when a panicked and bewildered irving shows up at his doorstep, he would do everything to help and therefore become involved in anti-severance in s2. also, i had the feeling that burt (and his partner?) might not live in lumon housing considering how faraway their house is located from the town's center. hopefully as a result, lumon doesn't keeps tabs on them as much, which means less danger for burt and irving and whatever they set out to do next.

#severance #severance spoilers #ask #ayda-agueforts #sev theory #it looked like burt was packing in the finale #so he was definitely getting ready to get out of kier #i sure hope walken stays a main in s2 #there are so many possibilities for irving and burt's storyline in s2 #i'm looking forward to the ride #i think personally #i don't mind if they don't end up together outside #like everyone my main wish is #to see all the refiners coming out of this alive #and getting the closures they need

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oddaodd · 3 years

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· Someone Able To Put Your Fires Out·

Request: by a lovely anon “ Can you please write something with Arthur where his wife and him are in bed and she’s reading out loud for him while playing with his hair, also he’s so relaxed he ends up falling asleep after a good 10 minutes of fighting to stay awake.“

Author’s note: Thank you so much for requesting this! I love writing fluff for Arthur and im so happy with how this turned out. I hope you like it as well and have a lovely day! ❤️

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff.

“What are you reading, love?” Asked Arthur as he stepped into the room his wife and him shared after a long day of dealing with business.

“Its just a collection of short stories written by several authors. Some of these are quite magnificent “ She mused softly, still engrossed by the book in her hands.

“Come, I’m just about to start a new one” she said inviting him to join her in bed, which he did after removing his shoes.

As he laid his head on her chest and draped one of his arms over her body, Yn shifted her grasp on the book to get more comfortable.

“This one was written by a Paul Irving” she announced before begging to read.

“My rock people live at the shore. I used to visit them almost every evening before the winter came. Now I can't go till spring, but they will be there, for people like that never change . . . that is the splendid thing about them. Nora was the first one of them I got acquainted with and so I think I love her the best. She lives in Andrews' Cove and she has black hair and black eyes, and she knows all about the mermaids and the water kelpies…”

As she read Arthur's fingers occasionally rubbed circles against the skin of her thigh that was uncovered by her nightgown. Feeling high from the feeling of her body against his.

Her soft voice echoing like a soft melody in ears prompted him to realize at that very moment that he was finally at ease. He had finally found that someone who was able to put his fires out.

Y/n’s free hand went to thread through his locks sometimes gently massaging his scalp. Luring Arthur to a much needed sleep. he wanted to stay awake and keep relishing on the sound of his wife’s voice but after a while he finally surrendered, his subconscious traveling to a remote land as Y/n continued reading.

“ The youngest Twin Sailor sailed along the moonglade till he came right up to the moon, and there was a little golden door in the moon and he opened it and sailed right through. He had some wonderful adventures in the moon but it would make this story too long to tell them. Then there is…”

She noticed Arthur’s breathing had settled into a calm rhythm indicating he was asleep.

"Love?" she asked softly as to not wake him if he was really asleep.

When she received no answer, she closed the book after marking her page and sunk into Arthur’s embrace.

@nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime

#arthur shelby #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby x reader #arthur shelby request #arthur shelby fluff #arthur shelby fic #arthur shelby one shot #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders fluff #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder x reader #peaky blinder fluff #peaky blinder request

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darkhymns-fic · 3 years

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Hopes of Summer

At what should be a happy family outing, Kratos worries about the inevitable when he catches sight of Anna's Exsphere.

The pain of losing someone should not have been new to him at all.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Kratos Aurion/Anna Irving, Lloyd Irving, Noishe Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: Fic for Day 1: Aurion Family Day/Free Day for @krannaweek! This got more angst then I meant it to but with fluff in the end to make up for it.

Kratos had only been eight when he started to learn swordsmanship from his father – true lessons instead of play, wooden blades held in his palms so that he could get used to the weight of eventual metal.

War had already long started. There was no time to rest, not for him. It was something that didn’t need to be said out loud to be understood.

Just the feel of his father’s hands correcting his own (Don’t hold it so tightly, you will break your wrist before long) and the curt nods of a soldier, teaching him to survive.

And in war, you must survive.

Yet even still, Kratos had fallen to his knees, arms shaking with his plain, wooden weapon. In a real battle, the quick lunge from his father’s sword would have ended him right there. Another bloodstain on the grass, another lost soul of the Tethe’allan country. Instead he saw the gleam of the sharp blade pointed at his throat – a split-second, nothing more – before it was pulled back.

“You must keep practicing,” his father told him, a voice that many years later, he could barely recall. He could not remember the man’s face, nor his mother’s. Four thousand years was too long for one to live, too long for one to remember anything of value. “Don’t make any more mistakes.”

Just the sensation of the ache in his palms, the fear that ran through him at the sight of the blade so close, the question in him that rose when he heard those words directed towards him.

You must, you must, you must. Since then, his life had been full of acts that he must do.

But it only made his regrets pile up until it became uncountable.

The calluses from his sword practice would always remind him of that.

When his father later died in battle, he had not wept at all. For that was not something he had ever been taught.

“…You’re not feeling well.” A stated fact more than a question.

Anna pushed aside Kratos’ hand with a sigh. “As I told you for the dozenth time, I’m fine. Don’t fret over me. I barely have room to breathe.”

It was rare for them to room at an inn, but the summer months in Sylvarant could be so unforgiving. No amount of shade was enough to weather the humidity, for his wife or his child. So it had to be an inn, in a small, isolated town, where at least the walls could shelter them from heat – if only briefly.

Yet still, Anna’s face was flushed, her forehead covered by sweat. She sat up, but not without effort.

Kratos held up his hands, as if to reach out to her again. “You should keep resting-”

“What did I just tell you?” She shot back, bit her lip as if just tasting something so bitter. “I’m sorry. But I said that I am alright. I’m just winded from the walk. Let’s enjoy the day, please?”

He didn’t want to keep saying it, despite her complaints. He didn’t want to comment on how much slower her steps seemed to be, on how much paler her skin was, on how often she seemed to lose her breath.

The symptoms were all too obvious by now.

(If he looked further, where her shirt covered it, would he see it? How the skin around her Exsphere was more wrinkled than before, how it must have been red and inflamed, how the pain must have centered there, as it always was…)

He had to stop himself, cutting the despair off, as sharply as cutting off an infected limb.

“Then let me get you some water first before we go out. Is that acceptable?”

She sighed again, but this time with a little smile. “I wonder if you will ever stop being so formal, but I suppose that’s just who you are…”

To the side of her was a small bundle, just underneath the bed covers. It moved and made a sound, a mixture of a snore and a little gurgle. The blanket curled in on itself around that same bundle, until it was all folds and snores.

Kratos looked to the little bundle with concern.

“He can…still breathe under there, yes?”

“You are such a worrier today.” But Anna humored him by carefully unwrapping the blanket, revealing first the soft brown spikes of his hair, and then the puffy curves of his cheeks, along with a clenched fist that was half being sucked on, knuckles disappearing into the boy’s mouth.

Still, Kratos worried a little…

“See? Lloyd is just fine. He’s probably having a nice dream right now!”

Small and vulnerable, stuck in sleep. Lloyd had been crying from the heat, but once inside, he still wanted to curl up in the bedcovers, to stay close to his mother. The inn room was simple, a single room with the window half-open, the curtains letting in the breeze that he wished had been about while they had been walking. The bed itself was small, but he had been fine giving it only to Anna and Lloyd. He didn’t need any sleep himself.

Yet, as Anna reached over to Lloyd, hands gently taking his drool-covered fist, pulling down the red shirt he loved to cover his stomach, a cough left her throat. Then another, and another, making her lean over, back arched like the gentle slope of the hills outside.

Kratos placed his hands on her, his calluses hidden by his gloves, yet could not hide the shaking of his fingers. “Anna!”

She breathed harshly at first, the sound enough to wake up Lloyd fully. Eyes blinked, the same shade as his hair. The child turned around, eyes curious as he watched his father cling to his mother. Could he see the fear that he was feeling right now? Could he even understand?

“Kratos, you’re scaring him.” Anna spoke so clearly, so strongly, that it belied the pained position she was in. She gathered Lloyd into her arms, and the child only continued to blink. He didn’t cry, and this was the same boy that would weep over Noishe not giving him a ride on his back.

“You said you would give me water?” she gently reminded.

Kratos felt the pain in his palms, but swallowed it down, taking a step back. “Forgive me. I will bring you some.”

“Thank you.” Anna raised her head, and she was smiling once more. Lloyd was clinging to her shirt, his hands curling into the fabric and pulling down from the neck.

From there, Kratos saw the hint of the Exsphere. He saw the redness around like a ring, the wrinkled skin, the hurt he knew she felt.

He turned to get the water for from the pitcher set on the side table. He hoped the feeling he felt in his throat wasn’t regret.

Lloyd was laughing wildly, holding out two wooden sticks in his hands as he rode on a whining Noishe, bouncing along in his seat within the green fur and shouting, “Go! Go!”

Kratos had never felt more of a nervous wreck as he watched his son nearly fall several times, always eventually righting himself up with a great show of flailing his small arms. So Kratos hovered near, following along the Arshis as it went in the direction Lloyd was yelling out gleefully, using one of his sticks to point the way.

It was early evening, the air finally cooling down, leaving a gentler summer breeze. Anna was seated in the grass, watching as Lloyd led his mount to wherever he wanted. They had left the inn for a small stroll outside, down by hastily-arranged wooden fences, by the dirt roads that led into the isolated town, where dragonflies flitted about to dance across a small lake that was nearby. Only a few eyes turned their way, most retreating to their homes, though unsure why tourists would ever come to such a place.

Kratos gave little thought to it – only to his son which he continued to fret over, and to Anna that he saw by the corner of his eyes. She was not as pale now, or coughing as much. Still, Kratos saw the occasional tremble.

“Are you sure you can catch up to them?” she called out with a grin. The waning sunlight fell over her hair, burnishing it. He could see the same effect on Lloyd’s hair when he turned to look.

“I am simply watching over him…” he protested, still hands held up, ready to catch his son at any moment.

“And you seem to be doing very well!”

Noishe unexpectedly did a little hop then, one that made Lloyd squeal and Kratos stiffen. One of the dragonflies had rushed across the grass stalks to then land on the animal’s nose. A whine as his paws danced over the ground, with a sneeze to get the dreaded bug off. Lloyd only laughed afterwards, even as he waved his arms to maintain his balance.

Kratos stiffened, resisting the urge to just take Lloyd away and to wrench those sticks from his hands. Anna had insisted he be allowed to play with them, but they had look so rough and crooked, and he could imagine the scratches already on his son’s palms.

“Noishe,” he simply said, his tone having only a hint of hardness. But somehow, Lloyd’s voice was even louder, drowning his out.

“Go!” He was shouting again, trying to slash away at the dragonfly that had so upset Noishe. He missed his swing by a wide margin, but seemed to enjoy the action regardless. “Go, Noishe!”

He saw the creature’s big ears perk up, saw the way he danced around on his paws. Was he listening to Lloyd?

“Goooo!” Lloyd shouted once more, pointing up ahead where a small hill undulated before them, where it led to thickets that dotted the ground, rustling in the breeze.

And somehow, just like that, Noishe had taken off, running so fast as Lloyd shouted into the wind itself. A blur of green and brown, seeming to fly right over the grass to reach the hills and disappear into those same thickets where the sun could not push through, where the leaves seemed to swallow them up immediately, out of sight.

Maybe it was just instinct, in the end.

Kratos had rushed over to them so quickly, he could barely notice his legs moving. Or maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he had slipped and used his wings, foolishly where others could see him, even in such a small, barely populated village. He broke through branches and leaves to catch up to a boy and his dog-like companion who continued to run.

He hadn’t meant to react so hastily, but he still held the image of Anna’s Exsphere in his mind, the meaning of it weighing on his shoulders. It made him feel slow, and weak, and somehow despite all that, he halted in front of Noishe’s path, making the creature stutter in his steps. Lloyd did another squeal, arms stretched out wide as he saw his father with them. He had already lost one of the sticks he had been waving about so proudly.

Kratos rounded on Noishe, voice has hard as flint. “Stop!” He clenched his fists, the tide of anger and fear in him impossible to overturn. “What would happen if he had fallen?! You’re supposed to keep him safe!”

The sound of his own voice, full of incredibly guilt, finally made him stop – but not before it was too late.

It had been enough to make the Arshis do more than halt. A quick backwards step of four paws, upturning the soil beneath. The giant ears that soon edged downwards in a soft arc, the rapid blinking of dark eyes. It was still a marvel that he hadn’t whined right away, even as he soon did so, the sound a little keening as fallen leaves were crushed beneath them.

Lloyd had also stopped, surprised by Noishe’s movements, by his father’s anger. The action made him drop his last branch to the ground…and then the familiar sheen of tears appeared in his eyes.

The sight was nothing new to him at all. But now, just now, he felt something prick his chest, seeing both Lloyd and Noishe shiver, knowing himself to be the reason for it. ��Wait, Lloyd-” He walked up to them, all while Lloyd continued to cry harder, and Noishe’s whines matched with his.

His son wept so much. Kratos couldn’t remember the last time he had even shed a tear.

“Can you hold him?” a voice asked him.

There was Anna was to his right. He had no idea how he hadn’t heard her, when he could hear the careful steps of a starving wolf from miles ahead. But when he turned, she was there, her face pale, her hair a little haggard. She had run after them as well, and though she tried to hide it, he could hear her quickened breath.

“Kratos, please,” she said, gesturing as Lloyd continued to cry, his tears falling onto Noishe’s fur. “And put your wings away.”

So he had used them, only now noticing the glow of blue that cast over her, the motes of sapphire in the air. Hastily, he de-summoned them, feeling foolish.

But the tone in her voice was different than usual, something he couldn’t place. Was she angry at him? Disappointed? But he couldn’t deny her instructions, and so Kratos went to pick up Lloyd who continued to sniffle, but now right into his very shirt. (He could wash it later, he supposed).

Noishe had then gone to lay down in the grass, tail laying dejected, his fur making him blend in with the greenery all too well, almost hiding too well within the thicket they had blundered into. But still he saw the dark paws stand out, along with the pink of the Arshis’ tongue, half-lolling from his mouth from the heat that still lingered, and the exertion from before. He looked so ashamed that it made Kratos regret his earlier words.

It was something he found himself often doing.

He was surprised though to see Anna kneel besides Noishe, hands reaching out to scratch behind one of his giant ears. The whining continued, but it lowered considerably, along with a tail lightly thumping the ground.

Kratos still felt Lloyd crying into his shirt, completely unsure of what to say.

“You know,” she said, fingers finding the right spot for Noishe, his eyes closing, his great head leaning against her hand. “You are not as good at hiding your secrets as you think you are.”

A sentence that left him stunned, if only for a little while. Lloyd’s cries lessened, and by now he could feel his shirt becoming drenched with snot. He patted his son’s head and let his fingers tangle in his messy hair.

“You look at me like I will die at any moment now.”

The chill ran up his spine, immobilizing everything except his voice. “No, I’m- I’m not. I am only worried. The weather has not been good for your condition-”

“And what is my condition, Kratos?” Anna raised her head, and with the sunshine angling down, it was hard to see her expression, the way the light cast shadows from the trees, the way it made his eyes blink. “You still haven’t told me what this thing I carry will do to me. But I guess you don’t really need to. I’ve known for a long time what will happen. I’ve been at that ranch for longer than I would care to remember.”

A small hiccup from Lloyd against his chest. Kratos thumped a hand against his back, trying to soothe such them away. “Anna…”

She turned away, instead facing Noishe again, planting both hands into the creature’s fur to continue her petting. Noishe let her, knowing now this was more for herself than for him. He hair fell, revealing the chain of a pendant he had given to her long ago.

“I don’t want you to look at me like that. I…don’t want to be reminded of what will happen to me…” She freed one hand from the fur to wipe at her eyes. “Because I see how it eats at you, until you let it show. I only want…to enjoy what we have. I don’t want this…thing I have.. to hang over us until then.”

Another soft hiccup from Lloyd. He had his eyes half-shut, his crying making him sleepy. This was fairly normal for him.

Kratos took a breath, then sat down on the grass next to Anna, just a few feet away from Noishe. He took a moment to speak, finding everything in his much too long years giving him absolutely nothing.

But soon, he had to say something, even if it was weak and uninspired.

“It is no excuse… but I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.” He rubbed Lloyd’s back, watching how his son’s blinking was slowing, how the eyelids fell. “I just don’t want to…lose this.” And he realized then, the fear that held him. “I never want to lose this. But acting like this will only…make it seem like I already have. I’m sorry…”

She faced him, and he saw again her Exsphere, still looking pained. He knew how the stone would soon take everything away from her, and it was hard to not think on it. The future had suddenly felt so dark and ominous, with no clear roads to turn to.

But when she looked at him, he saw a curious change in her eyes. Something of bewilderment. Not the first time he had seen it from her, for he tended to do things that confused her, but he was not sure of what could cause it, at this moment.

“You’re crying,” she said. And with that, she stretched her hand to brush at his hair. “Huh. Now I know where Lloyd gets it from.”

Kratos blinked, and just then he felt it. The soft trek of a tear down his cheek. It confused him greatly. He reached out wipe it away, the sensation so unfamiliar that he wasn’t sure what to do with the feeling. “I’m…sorry, I didn’t-”

“Now why are you apologizing over that?” Anna shook her head, then leaned in. The action was quick, her lips over his, the kiss warm and heating up his face significantly. All the while, Lloyd continued to snore in his arms.

From the closeness, he saw her Exsphere up close. The pain there was still apparent, skin around it still inflamed, but the fear he felt was not as prominent anymore. Not with her kissing him to soothe it all away.

Anna was smiling when she leaned back, once again running a hand through his hair, playing with it. “You can be so silly sometimes.”

“Uh.” Kratos once again had no idea what to do with her words. He flushed, eyes turned back to Lloyd as he slept on. “T-Thank you…”

There was just the wind rustling the grass, the chirping of crickets as the sky above them darkened. Noishe had stopped whining, but he still looked a bit dejected, his great head on his paws. The Arshis’ own apology was plain on his face.

Kratos sighed, reaching to pet his devoted friend on the head. “I should be apologizing to you as well, Noishe… I’m sorry to have ruined our family day.”

Anna gently pushed him on the shoulder. “You haven’t ruined anything… but maybe you could learn to ease up. For all of our sakes?”

He smiled at her, still remembering her warmth that washed away the hurt in him. Even so, another tear fell down his cheek.

To think he could miss a feeling he was never sure of ever having.

It was already nighttime once they walked back to the inn. Kratos had walked carefully, careful not to bounce Lloyd too much with each step that he took. But the boy continued to sleep, making small noises as he drooled once again on his shirt.

“See?” Anna said, giggling. “He’s having another nice dream.”

The way she nudged him just then was subtle, but he saw it in her eyes. How she looked to Lloyd, and how she had let Kratos carry him all the way, Noishe trailing behind them happily, nose occasionally poking the back of Anna’s head.

“Here, you can hold him now,” he told her, and gently gave her their son to clasp.

“Certain I won’t get tired, are you?” she said, but he saw how eagerly she went to hold Lloyd. And it seemed that Lloyd seemed to like this new change, his tiny arms moving to wrap around her neck, to make more little noises that were hums and the like.

Again, with the motion and the weight of the child on her, the collar of her shirt shifted down. Once again Kratos saw the Exsphere, same as it was, but with a tinge of blue to its surface – alive in its very own, strange way, a parasite that continued to live in her.

The sadness was still there, fear of what was to come next. He had never wept for his father’s death, or his mother’s – or perhaps he just didn’t remember it. But if he would lose her…. then what next?

Quickly, before she could see the expression on his face, he bent down to kiss at the space just above her Exsphere. The heat of her skin, the hardness of the stone against his lips. Anna made a small squeak at the action.

“Kratos!” But there was laughter mixed in, one hand pressed against her mouth to keep it muffled. “Are you…trying to kiss it better now?”

Something about the words, the way she said it, and her bright voice altogether, once again washed away the despair to the very corners of his mind. “Then you must tell me if it is working.”

“Hm…I don’t know.” She tilted her head in thought. “Perhaps you’ll need to do it a bit more so I can be sure.”

Ah, again she could make him flush like a fool sometimes. But the smile she gave him was worth it.

With the stars above them, and Lloyd sleeping soundly, he felt he could still find a hope for the future somehow. That it was something the eventual pain could never drown out.

Maybe he could believe that.

#tales of symphonia #kratos aurion #krannaweek2021 #kranna #anna irving #lloyd irving #noishe #fanfiction #oneshot

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anightflower · 3 years

Text

Come and Find Me

Chapter Two: Paint It Black

Hello Loves! Just to let everyone know, my chapters go from flashbacks to present day! Thank you all for sticking with me and I am sorry this chapter is posted a bit late!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Gore, violence, swearing

Read Chapter One Here

He had spent several hours outside your window, trying to figure out the next phase of his plan. But once the Doctor had arrived and swept you into his arms, he had decided to go home. Not back to his apartment, that was the place he resided. His home was a place nobody could know about.

It was a place for only him and his mentor Drew.

He walked into the kitchen to find Drew cleaning up his knives. “Hey little brother, out with your girl again?” Drew asked with a mischievous smile.

Little brother was Drew’s nickname for the boy, they weren’t blood-related, but being 7 years younger than Drew, he had taken the boy under his wing.

“Yeah, until her stupid fucking doctor came.” the boy replied.

“Don’t worry about the Doctor, your time will come.” Drew reassured. “Come, sit, I just finished up making dinner.”

The boy sat down, pushing aside Drew’s papers so he had space to eat.

“Ah, ah,ah, you’re going to want to look at those. Those papers contain all the fun things you need to know. I’m not teaching you all of this for nothing huh?” Drew smiles, placing the papers back in front of the boy, alongside a bowl of stew.

“Do you really think this will work?” The boy asked, glancing over Drew’s explicitly written notes.

“Don’t worry little brother, this whole thing is trial and error.” Drew reassured. “Don’t be intimidated I’ve had this whole thing planned for a while and she won’t be the first, she can be our finale-” Drew was interrupted by a scream. He rolled his eyes. “Goddamnit, this bitch just never shuts up. I wanted to surprise you with her, but now she spoiled it.”

The boy gave Drew a curious look. Drew chuckled. “Come on little brother I will show you.” Drew led the boy down to their basement. “After she’s gone, I’ll soundproof the basement better. I just needed an idea of how loud these whores will scream.”

The color drained from the boy’s face as his gaze fell on the woman. She was tied to Drew’s metal table, she looked like one of the frogs that the Boy had to set up for dissection for Professor Irving’s class, except she was very much alive, and slightly bloodied.

“Meet trial number one little brother, she looks quite like your girl huh? I think all of em’ should just so you can be prepared for your finale with her.” Drew turned to the Boy. “Surprise.”

“How long has she been missing?” the Boy asked, panicked. How could Drew not warn him? “Relax, like I said she’s trial one. Just a corner whore, no one will even notice she is gone. The next one will be the real challenge, I want to find one exactly like your girl and I already found her, this one we will just pump and dump. Did you get those chemicals from your professor like I asked?”

The Boy nodded “It all in my backpack.” The Boy couldn’t drag his eyes away from the girl on the table. Yes she had your hair and eye color, but she was a hideous thing compared to you. A mere whore could never compare to you. “If she’s a whore I don’t want to touch her. I’ll try the next one.”

Drew huffed. “Fine, you only have to watch this time virgin boy. But next time, I expect you to be hands on. I’m not doing all this work for nothing.”

The Boy’s face was emotionless the whole time he watched Drew, even when the blood spurted, even when the girl looked at him, pleading for help. Even when she stopped breathing and the chemicals he brought were used to melt her flesh.

The Boy felt nothing.

________________________________________________________________

There was an extra flounce to your step as you made your way to your favorite cafe. Maybe it was because you had successfully hired a few new employees to help your company flourish, maybe it was because one of them had already settled a new deal in Ohio, or maybe it was because you knew Spencer was coming back from a case today.

Hell, you had just had a fantastic day and you needed to update Ava and grab your favorite mocha latte to top it off. And maybe it was your 4th coffee of the day, but so what?

Your face lit up even more when you saw Ava. “Hello my darling best friend.” You said causing Ava to grin.

“Hey there babe, what’s got you so preppy today?” Ava asked.

“Well, let’s see; I hired 3 new employees who already are fantastic, one of which already booked us a design job in Ohio. Oh and my superhero hot boyfriend is coming home from a case tonight.” You grinned.

Ava rolled her eyes. “I still can’t believe you told him I call him that. I wanted to dissolve into the floor and simultaneously kick your ass.” She laughed. “As for the new employees, are any of them hot? Single? Oh and Ohio is good I guess.”

You giggled. “Well Thomas is incredibly handsome, but I am afraid his soon to be husband might want to have a word with you if you try anything. As for the other two, Aiyla and May, I think you’ll find them stunning and single.”

Ava wiggled her eyebrows. “Don’t tempt me girl, you know I swing both ways. Anyway, grab a seat, I’ll grab your coffee and bring it out to you. I get off early today so we can actually talk to each other rather than me hopping back and forth between the counter. James gets to hold down the fort with Emma and the newbie Jane today.”

“Well, maybe Jane will help him get out of his shell.” You hoped. Ava shrugged.

“Maybe, anyway, Ohio?” Ava questioned.

“Oh! Yes. My new minions are sketching our designs as we speak. The company is called Ohio technological, a very original name yes-” You said as Ava snorted. “But they’re trying to create an office space like Google, however I am going to one up that and add my own spin to it. Also your girl has a fantastic budget from this company and I am being paid bank!” You squealed.

Ava squealed with you, grabbing your hands and squeezing them tight. “(Y/N) that’s fantastic! I am so proud of you girl, you’ve been working so hard on this and I am so glad it’s all working out.”

“There is one downside though.” You said with a sigh. “I have to get my plans to them by next week and once they approve of them, I have to head to Ohio for three weeks. After that I will just have Thomas overlook the project and tie up any loose ends. Either him or I will have to fly down and check in on the progress every couple weeks until then.”

“Could be worse though.” Ava shrugged.

“That’s true, but Spencer and I have been dating for almost 3 months and half the time we can’t see each other. I’m worried that the distance will ruin us.” You confessed.

Ava's face went completely serious and she grabbed your arm gently. “(Y/N, I have never seen a boy more in love with you. You have never seemed happier in your life. You two will make it work I promise. You’re both so in love it makes me sick.” You snorted out a laugh and Ava smirked.

“Like I said, if he has a brother-”

“AVA.” You groaned.

_______________________________________________________________

The boy burst through the door, startling Drew.

“Yo, what the fuck man?” Drew hissed.

“She’s leaving. Fuck, fuck, fuck Drew. She’s leaving.” The Boy slammed the door shut, he leaned against it and slid down, hiding his face in his hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey little bro, take a breath, what happened?” Drew came over and pushed the boy’s hands away from his face.

“She’s leaving me Drew. For three weeks! She’s going to Ohio for THREE WEEKS. 21 days, almost a month! I won’t see her and when I do she will probably be with that goddamn doctor! What do I do?” The boy cried.

“That fucking whore, it’s like she knows she’s making you suffer. She’s probably reveling in it. Don’t worry. While she’s gone, we will perfect our craft and get you ready. Then when she comes back you’ll strike.”

Drew reassured the Boy, pulling him in for a hug.The Boy pulled away, dragging an arm across his tearful eyes.

“You promise?”

“I swear it.” Drew growled.

________________________________________________________________

Present Day

“Garcia what did you find?” Reid asked, pleading that it would be a reliable lead.

“Something that you won’t really like Reid.” Garcia said seriously, her usually bouncy personality was flat. “Something about your gift irked me, I couldn’t put my finger on it at first, but then I remembered; the Curtis case.”

Spencer’s heart fell into his stomach. The Curtis case had happened a few months after Spencer had started dating you. It had happened right here in Quantico, which terrified Spencer, especially since you fell perfectly under the unsubs victimology; 20-30 year old females with (Y/C/H) and (Y/E/C), successful middle class women who lived alone for one reason or another. You had luckily been out of town for a business trip at the time, working on an office design for a company in Ohio.

Spencer remembered a phone call he had with you one night during the case. He had called you after finding yet another dead victim, raped and torn to pieces, whore scribbled all over their wall in their blood. It had made him sick, because all he could picture was you in their place.

It was late when he called you, but he had just needed to hear your voice and know you were okay. “Hi baby, are you alright?” Your voice was sleepy, but concerned, you had kept up with the news and had heard about the horrible murders going on while you were gone.

“Not really, but I just needed to hear your voice. There’s a sick selfish part of me that is so glad that you aren’t here (Y/N). All of these girls look so much like you-” Spencer paused, you could hear the tears in his voice. “I just am so glad you are safe, I don’t think I could focus as well on this case if I knew you could possibly be in danger.”

“Aw Spencer, I am so sorry baby. You aren’t sick or selfish for wanting me to be safe, everyone focuses on the safety of those they love, it’s only human. I know you are going to catch this guy, you are the most brilliant man and agent I have ever met. Just don’t tell your team I said that, I don’t want a bad reputation before they even meet me.” You teased, trying to lighten his dark mood.

It had worked slightly as you heard him let out a small laugh followed by a sniffle. “Listen Spence, I can stay here a bit longer if it will help you focus, but when I come home I am taking self-defense classes and such. I want you to have a sane mind knowing that your girlfriend actually can handle herself. I honestly think it will help me keep sane too, after hearing everything about this case.”

Spencer paused and thought for a second, part of him wanted you as far away as possible, while the other part just wanted you in his arms. “I appreciate you considering me, but I want the ultimate decision to be made by you Princess, I trust your judgement and I don’t want you living your life based on my fear.”

You breath caught in your throat at the sentiment. “I love you Spencer Reid.”

“I love you more (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” A true smile beamed across his face, you guys had never said that to one another before and it meant just as much over the phone as it would in person.

Spencer flashed back to the present. “Andrew Curtis is in jail right now with three life sentences, how could this have anything to do with his case?”

Garcia cringed a bit, “His calling card.” The words hit Spencer like a ton of bricks, how could he have not seen it before?

The gift box, the red bow, the eyes scratched out of the picture, that was exactly what Curtis had sent to his victims before they were attacked by him. Most of the women had thought it was a prank, a way to scare them into submission, they were incredibly wrong.

“So what could it be, a copycat?” Emily asked.

“That is a possibility, they are using the exact same delivery company Andrew Curtis used, I found this on the security footage.” Garcia pulled up an image of a man wearing a uniform; it was a hideous orange color with the words “Swiftly Delivered” on it, khaki shorts, and white tennis shoes.

“You think the company would have shut down or at least redesigned their hideous uniform after all the association with Curtis.” Emily mumbled.

“Well, I think in this case it’s lucky they didn’t, that way we could easily find the connection.” JJ said.

“How could something like that have gotten cleared by security?” Rossi wondered aloud. “You think someone would have possibly recognized it, the case is still pretty fresh.”

“Well, the box had no threat, no weapons, they must have just scanned it and sent it through. Alyssa was the one who brought it up with the rest of the mail. She said nothing seemed off about it when she brought it up, she just thought it was someone who was sweet on our pretty boy.” Morgan explained.

“Everyone is just so invested in my love life that we miss obvious clues.” Spencer growled frustrated.

“Well, at least we have a lead.” Hotch interrupted. “JJ, Morgan, I need you guys to head over to Swiftly Delivered. Ask them about their past customers and see if they can remember our unsub. Emily, you and Reid head over to (Y/N)’s apartment and see if you can find anything. Rossi and I are going over to talk to Curtis.”

“Hotch, I need to talk to Curtis.” Reid protested. “If he knows anything about (Y/N)-”

“No Reid. You know (Y/N)’s apartment better than anyone. You will notice if anything is wrong.” Hotch explained sternly.

“Hotch-” Reid argued.

“No. I don’t trust Curtis, he seemed too interested during his original case. If he knows something, I can’t have him getting under your skin. Reid’s head fell in defeat. “But-” Reid’s head shot back up. “If you guys finish before us. Meet us at the prison.” Hotch ordered.

Hope filled Reid’s eyes.

TAGLIST

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#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #come and find me #anightflowerwrites

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hickeys-dickey · 3 years

Note

Pls share your thoughts about the gays in THAT scene… I would love to read them!

Ahh you are too kind, I am but a little swiss cheese brain but I'll try my best to sum up my thoughts, I have too many! I wanted a chance to grab some screenshots too! I'm going to put a read more because this is a long one buckle up lads.

So obviously the whole punishment for Hickey is designed to humiliate him (I would imagine this is one of the reasons his punishment isn't explained to him, because if Hickey truly was a naval petty officer he would know, and I think it's another way for Crozier to essentially say "I see you" and not in a good way). The fact we're not shown the other whippings shows the importance lies in the scene with Hickey.

I've seen a bit of discussion about his charge of "dirtiness", which isn't listed initially when we see him being questioned by the Captains, and whether or not it alludes to homosexuality but on a quick cursory search it does seem to have been used as a euphemism where an outright accusation of sodomy would mean a death sentence. The way Crozier throws it out there, no doubt to heap the humiliation onto Hickey and add crimes to the list to cover the fact he added lashes on to the punishment essentially for a bruised ego (but that's another matter), suggests a whole lot of venom to the accusation. Hickey's pointed look at Irving and Irving's quick shift of his gaze down suggests they both know exactly why Crozier has listed this among Hickey's list of crimes, and Hickey looks furious for it.

But I think this is also ultimately where the panic begins to set in. Again, there are far greater minds than me who have made excellent posts about queer coded characters in the terror, and I think it's no surprise that most of them are the faces that are focused on in this scence. It is clear long before this moment that Crozier's leadership is lacking, and people have already begun to voice concerns fairly loudly. Tozer for one is livid in the wake of Heather being injured, and the marines have clearly started distancing themselves from both the officers and the men. I feel like this scene, for a lot of characters is a point of major shift in either allegiences or character.

Tozer and the Captains are the first faces that are panned to in this scene and I think the expressions speak for themselves.

Tozer is visibly upset/concerned after the first lash. I do think guilt probably has a part to play, in that is was him whole told Hickey where Silna was, and presumably approved enough of the plan to not rat him out to anyone. Again, very probably part of Tozer's anger at Heather being injured due to what he sees is Crozier's poor management. Fitzjames is stoney faced, but is also the only one looking. As a man who many have noted pushes himself to pick emotional scabs, I think it would make sense for someone who is also notably queer coded and stuggles with trauma to make himself look directly at someone being whipped for a crime he himself might commit. Crozier isn't even looking, whether out of suddenly doubting his harshness or simply triggering something in his own memory it's not clear. I think the end of this shot also speaks for itself.

(Fig 1. Three Concerned (very likely not straight) men contemplate)

The lads at the back behind Mr. Johnson are all looking Directly At the whipping as it is taking place. Interestingly none of the men at the front near the table are looking. This is the stewards, officers, and marines. Whether out of respect or also Concern at their own skins (I think every one of these characters has been addressed as being queer coded at some point, minus the marines who are all, except Tozer, fairly nameless characters).

I'm not a gifmaker which is unfortunate for this section, though this is what is gifed in the beautiful gifset by sashneeka I reblogged (x). Tommy is also visibly upset, whether because he knows Tozer was involved in the plot to kidnap Silna and is concerned for him and any of the rest of the crew who had assisted in someway or voiced support. Billy interestingly does look briefly, and sets his jaw after in a way that suggests he's trying to fight the guilt of being the one to tell Irving about the whole affair with Hickey to paint himself in a better light. It could just as easily be Billy there on that table being lashed, but he somehow rationalises it in his head (probably because Hickey is a little bastard) that he was right in what he did. He does look down fairly guiltily after this, so maybe he hasn't quite settled on an opinion. Jopson also looks incredibly concerned/unsettled, and interestingly looks at Hickey right up until the whip hits where he flinches, and not for the only time in this scene. From what we know about Jopson's past, though not at this point, it may well be he is remembering similar punishment/mistreatment and like Fitzjames looks enough to pick the scab open and flinch from his own trauma.

The closeup of Hickey shows the full extent of his rage and humiliation building, and as I think Adam himself said, they whipped something out of Hickey that day and let him reach this potential that lay inside him (to become an even bigger bastard). He's fully severed all ties and feelings of loyalty after this and it becomes full on train to manipulation station from this point. I have a lot of Thoughts about Hickey also (which I am sure you are all aware of) but I think there was some semblance of Hickey attempting to start afresh on this journey, or at the very least keep his head down and go unnoticed. The trouble is, he notices Crozier as a flawed man, and one not from the upper classes like himself, and his ego can't help but think we're not so different, that could be me with the right connections. Well surprise lads, its murder time now and he's gonna make this old man pay for not recognising initiative but punishing it. I do wonder if Crozier wasn't booze sick and rattled from losing even more men under his command, would he not have come down so harshly for someone clearly defying the Articles to do what he thinks is right and save the men (a la Crozier and his fuck you I'm directly contradicting an order and leading this rescue party myself).

Tozer gets another wee closeup here and again looks like he has resolved something in his head too. Most likely that he thinks Crozier an unfit leader, and admiring Hickey for having the balls to do what he did (Hickey also never reveals anyone else who came with him, and when he talks about Hartnell and Mason's part in taking Silna it highlights their skill and bravery and (he thinks) commends them to the Captain. It's probably the only time we see him building up and applauding others). He looks dead ahead here and seems to have a very steely gaze, like yep fuck it looks like I'm going it alone now. It is interesting that Tozer goes from this to notably disliking Hickey (both at the start and when they are packing up - "you've just given me an excuse to give a big shove". This might be anger at Hickey having caused all the issues with Silna after the fact when Heather gets killed at Carnivale), but still follows him in the end. Hickey has the ability to kill, manipulate, steal, basically do whatever needed for their group to get ahead, which means Tozer can be part of the group and not have to dirty his own hands. I think Tozer probably has a complicated relationship with Hickey, but he does fall for the charm hook, line, and sinker, and the fact he seems concerned for him here suggests how easily he is sympathetic to those he sees as being wronged.

Gibby getting Hickey's blood on his hand (ayy) seems to visibly make him blanch, and I do find it interesting that the shot then pans to Tommy as though they are looking at each other when they are stood side by side. The similarities between them maybe? (I've seen and reblogged a lot of discourse about Tommy loving Tozer, maybe another nod to no one being so different to the man on the table?) Irving doesn't get much of a close up in the rest of this scene but bless him he looks equal parts terrified and guilty (another man who has been noted as having a list of many things to distract from the Gay Thoughts like why do you need to distract from Gay Thoughts Irving?). He also has the Far Off Look of trauma about him, probably because he too could just as easily be on that table.

I have many many thoughts about the way Hickey turns to look (and fucking smile???) at Crozier next, which is when Crozier is looking directly at him and Fitzjames looks at him. Like if I were Crozier I think my fucking blood would chill, look at this man. Being humiliated and lashed still hasn't broken him, if anything he has just become fully unhinged and looks at Crozier as though to say "did you really think this would work?". I would also say, this man has fairly quite for someone who is at this stage something like 22 lashes in? Like what the actual fuck Hickey?? I fully belive Hickey to be a psycopath, and most of what he does in the beginning of the series is an attempt to stay hidden until they get to Hawaii and he can ditch the crew, but I think it is fairly safe to say he isn't hiding it any more.

And he knows this is going to make the men doubt Crozier - I can't do a proper search because I am using my work laptop atm, but I seem to remember reading that a punishment greater than 12 lashes required a court martial (probably why Little steps in to say so when Crozier orders his punishment as well as them technically being lost at sea), which would be another strike against him as a Captain. Not only that, but Crozier does seem to grant him some mercy in letting him only be lashed I think 23 or so times? Probably because the tension is fucking palpable in this whole scene and Crozier can either choose to claw back some sense of control on the matter, or deal with the consequences of many people admiring Hickey for what he has done for the crew and start a mutiny. I think this is the first time Fitzjames sees the damage Crozier is doing to himself with his choices as Captain, and is probably just as concerned at the look Hickey is giving him. He knows this has unleashed something in this tiny rat bastard too, and that he will become the physical manifestation of Crozier's self-destructive tendancies. Crozier perpetually comes to everything just a fraction too late to change anything - he never saves any of the men, only comforts them as they die, and a lot of this has to do with his own ego and bad decision making, and I think this is the first example here of the fact his actions are having an effect on others to the point it will be his downfall.

Anyway, to round it off, I think this scene really epitomises the notion that Hickey is a mirror to the rest of the men, and they see their flaws in him. Those who have questioned Crozier's captaincy look concernced knowing they too could be being lashed. They too would have tried to get Silna to stop the Tuunbaq hunting them. Those who are queer or queer coded know they too could be being lashed for it. Crozier himself sees his unwillingness to follow the Articles in him, sees his own insubordination, and feels what Sir John meant when he said his position afforded him deference. Hickey may as well be a metaphor for all the men being lashed, theres not one among them who haven't voiced wanting to do what he has done. Let them without sin and all that. This is make or break for who holds loyalty to the Captain, and the turning point for who is going where. I think everyone except Jopson, Irving and Fitzjames ends up in the mutineers camp, and Irving ends up killed and mutilated by Hickey and Fitzjames is scavanged by them. Theres not one of them that isn't haunted by what happened in this scene, and Hickey would end up being the death of every single one of them. The only one who remains loyal after this is Jopson, who thinks his care and duty to the Captain can outweigh his other sins. Fitzjames and Crozier have a stronger relationship once he recovers from his withdrawal, yes, but Fitzjames also keeps him in check now (I'm thinking of Edward Little being threatened with flogging again because of course I am), and it is another step too late for Crozier's self-destruction. I've seen a Hickey/Fitzjames Christ analogy on here before too, so I hope you'll forgive me in comparing them, but Hickey in this scene really does get punished for everyone else's crimes in this scene, and becomes a sort of Christ-like figure, reborn as a complete version of the worst of himself from the pain of being lashed. They whipped something out of him!! Anyway, that about sums it up!

#long post #thank you for asking I could talk about the nuances of the terror for days #hickey thoughts

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