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strawberryjamsara · 2 months

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Persona 3 reload: a retrospective

A while back, I watched a let’s play of persona 3. And I hated it. I found it juvenile, nihilistic, extremely gross, and I felt like the members of sees were hardly friends, so their bonds hardly meant anything.

But, Persona 5 is a game I love, and also a long game that I’ve played multiple times, so I wasn’t sure if I was ready to play it again. And I had scrounged up enough for the new game, with me reasoning to myself that I’d have a better experience playing myself

And I was right. Everything I didn’t see in the game before came out at me in this playthrough so much I wondered if the original was ever really as bad as I thought.

So I just wanna recount a lot of the experience here. Beware of spoilers.

story and themes.

In my first watch, Persona 3’s story sort of felt like what I’d come up with at 14. Constant talks about how death is inevitable, nothing matters, and a line at the end saying our dead protagonist “found the answer” by dying which honestly made my jaw drop when seeing it. Not a good thing for someone with constant suicidal thoughts to hear, and the line struck me as tasteless, gross, and neglectful of the audience mental health.

That line is still there, and I still despise it, but this time around, I better understood the message the entire game wants to convey, that being: “Yes death is inevitable, yes nothing in life matters: which is why it’s important to live each day to the fullest and make your time matter.” This is shown by the fictional condition “apathy syndrome” a syndrome that literally makes you stand in place doing nothing forever, essentially a giving up on life that is what the villains hope to inflict on the world. The fall isn’t just an instant death. It’s plunging every human on earth into this state of apathy, and through this, they will all die while not even doing anything about this, and THATS what makes Nyx terrifying. And understanding this, it greatly raised my appreciation. The game also comes with a label warning for heavy themes and advising players to take a break if it gets too hard, which I appreciate.

There’s also a pretty good conflict with the heroes that being: the want for the world to constantly be in peril so they have something to do with their lives. This was sort of in Persona 5 with the thieves (Or really just Ryuji) soaking in popularity, but Persona 3 is a much better utilized version of this. All these people hated their lives before they became humanities saviors, and the idea of losing that purpose in life is scary to them. It’s only through their bonds with eachother they come to realize what they’re actually living for, and makes the villains Strega perfect foils, because their bonds with eachother aren’t enough. Jin obviously would give the world for Takaya, but they so easily threw Chidori away for bonding with the ones who took away their purpose. Takaya is pushed forward by pure nihilism and the ability to do whatever the hell he wants, and so he neglects the people around him. Jin dies in his final fight with you to protect Takaya’s dreams, and Takaya in his last moments wishes Jin could see the end but he didn’t. Takaya put his power trip over the only person he had left, so he was alone at the end.

I will say though, that while Strega are good villains, I don’t really like the games wishy washy handling of the Kirijo group. I’ll talk more about Mitsuru and her bond with her father when I get to characters (it’s nowhere near as bad as Haru though) but while the actions of the company are truly horrific, it sort of looks away from what it means for Mitsuru to inherit a company that caused this entire disaster then profited off of it, which like, yes I hate capitalism, but it’s also a very fascinating thread of idea that gets dropped. Also, yes, making the villains the group of orphans who were experimented on by the Kirijo group and have nothing from the heiress except a line about how she had ‘no idea’ and having the main characters work with the police, and the police being seen as a role model, and working with a coorporation is. A choice. And a huge downgrade from P5. Back to Mitsuru and the Kirijo’s though, this sort of thing could easily have been explored in her social link.

Speaking of which….

Social links and linked episodes

So when I watched that let’s play, the worst part for me was the social links. They were where a lot of personas signature brand really gross content came from, and the characters were utterly uninteresting to me. So were they bad as I remembered?

Yes and no.

One big thing I’m glad they’ve changed is that in the original game, whenever you maxed your bond with a female character you’d enter a relationship no matter what. So if you wanted to max your bond with multiple girls, then guess what! You’re cheating on your girlfriend. This lead to moments where I cringe in sympathy because Mitsuru is ranting to her fiancé about how much better and kinder the protagonist is and knowing this boy is leading on seven different girls.

Also some of the bonds were better than I gave them credit for! I loved coaching the group of kids with Yuko, being with Hayase in rough times, and helping Kamiki come to terms with his death.

Some were just as bad as I remembered though.

The hermit social link is extremely uncomfortable, having to listen to a woman who is obviously your teacher gleefully talk about her plans to get you alone to date you and the game treating this as funny and not horrific. Or Kenji talking about dating his teacher. Or a girl whose so nervous around boys so you can fix her and she becomes confident enough to protest a sign at school condemning relationships between students and teachers- what is with this game and student teacher relationships?

There’s also the problem of the best options in some of these links involve being an enabler. Yes little girl, run away from home, and only bring your insurance card, this is a great idea. If you don’t wanna take the optimal route and say that, you can tell her she deserved her parents hitting her. Yeah, in the original let’s play, I had NEVER hated a main character more than this guy and he was literally a silent protagonist.

I still really hate these moments. I could get attached to the main character (probably because I was playing as him, and there was more time in between… this. And also he wasn’t a cheater) but I still felt so ick picking what I knew was the best option.

So what about the parties links?

I think they’re a mixed bag. Yukari and Aigis have incredibly good social links about themselves and their lives, but Mitsuru’s is clearly just written with romance first, introducing a fiancé who is never mentioned anywhere else in the game for the protagonist to be better than, and Fuuka took a potentially interesting character and made her character arc about what a good cook she is. Thanks Atlus, feminist as always.

But what about the boys? Hahaha… sickos… YEEEES.

The boys in the original game did not have social links. This contributed to my original feeling like SEES weren’t friends, and my dislike towards the protagonist that you couldn’t hang out with any of your roommates who weren’t romance options to cheat on, but reload fixes this. Well, sorta.

Instead of social links, you have ‘linked episodes’ with the boys where you spend a day together and get stat upgrades, and I LOVED this. Often during these episodes the rest of sees would come together and hang, and even if they didn’t, the character insight offered felt worthwhile and like they had bonded. This and study sessions with the group, seeing Yukari Junpei and the protagonist spending time as a group chatting after school, and nightly activities where you could chill with your dormates after dark contributed so much to making these bonds feel more real, and making me believe they’re friends. Even if it’s just the protagonist hanging out with Akihiko on his own, you still get bits of him talking about Shinji and Mitsuru that make it feel alive. I LOVE how sometimes if you go to Tartarus one person won’t be able to make it because they’re out, or they’re studying, or they’re just not feeling it. It makes you feel like you need to take everyone’s schedules to heart. I’m aware that last feature is in the original, but it feels a lot more meaningful to play it for myself.

I’m getting off topic. Time to talk about

The characters

A lot of the characters in P3 I did not like on my first go. With the exception of Yukari and Junpei. And I’m glad to say I’ve come around to all of them this time around. So to go one by one:

Junpei Iori

Junpei at first seems like your typical first persona party member. He’s not very bright, he’s sexist in the way a lot of teenage boys are, and he’s seemingly just there for comic relief.

Then the game flips the script. You realize Junpei is insecure of you. You realize that his girlbestie who teases him all the time, may actually be getting under his skin. You realize that he’s so deeply and utterly sad, and finding out that the entire world would crumble without him is the best thing that happened in his life.

And then he meets the first love of his life.

Chidori and Junpeis romance is so well written, and makes me wish the games would make more romances for your party members instead of the obnoxious romance system that exists where the developers think if the player can’t date any woman that moves they’ll keel over dead.

Junpei finds with Chidori the first girl he doesn’t just think of as someone to hit on for the man points. He finds a genuine crush, someone he cares about the safety and well being of, and a reason to keep going and saving the world because Chidori is in it. And Chidori finds much of the same in him. Watching Junpei turn from a womanizing creep into the sweet guy who waits at Chidoris hospital bed every day was something that even in my first watch had me gnashing my teeth about how Yosuke and Ryuji didn’t touch this level. So yeah. Junpei is great and so is his character arc.

Yukari Takeba

Yukari was the other character I was attached to first run. Mostly because the lets player kept talking about how much he hated her and nothing makes me love a female character more than male audiences treating her like shit, but I was also just attached to her relationship with Junpei. They were the only characters that to me felt like genuine friends, and you could see by the way they’d jab at eachother back and forth.

And I was glad for her headstrong nature. She was the one questioning what was really going on, and she could be mean, and angry, and unpleasant. She could kinda suck, and I appreciated her for that. The scene in my first time where she tries to cheer up Junpei by teasing him and it backfires miserably lived in my head rent free for a while.

And while my opinions of Junpei being a good character pretty much stayed the same this time, my love for Yukari skyrocketed. I realized how endlessly loving she is, and yet how emotionally stunted her beginnings made her, with her dads death, her moms distance, and her friends leaving her behind. I loved when I realized ‘Oh. It’s not just that one time. Junpeis been bothered by her teasing since the beginning, but it’s her expression of love because she’s afraid of vulnerability.’ I loved how she connected with the protagonist, she found someone in a similar situation, but she could still be an asshole to him sometimes because she’s messy and complicated (and side note: I think I ship shuyuka now.)

So yeah. Yukari is a ten out of ten character.

Akihiko Sanada

I thought this guy had no personality the first time around. What was I thinking? Oh boy, I love this dork.

Akihiko going on about bolstering his muscles but can’t bolster his social skills enough for a normal conversation (Mr Autism my good friend) is already endearing to me, but what really comes in clutch is his relationships to Mitsuru and Shinji.

Aki is the only person in the group who doesn’t really see Mitsuru as an authority figure, disobeying her orders from the very start to not push himself, and pushing her buttons a little, a far cry from how she’s essentially the leader (yes I know the protagonist is the textual leader but let’s be real. Mitsuru is the leader.) and they’re a bond I feel like I neglected my first time around.

But let’s talk Shinji.

Akihiko and Shinji are a tragedy and despite knowing how it ended every step of the way this time, I couldn’t help getting attached. Aki losing the only friend he had as an orphan was not all at once but a slow burn. It’s easy to see coming, and yet Akihiko is Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill, hoping this time, things can go back to normal with every time he tries to talk him into joining, not realizing the boulder is already falling to the man’s death and Shinji knows it.

I think his final awakening and development happened to fast after that though. Like at least give the man more than a day of his best friend being dead before you make him have his big revelation.

Okay that’s pretty much all my thoughts but one last thing: I didn’t realize how hilariously gay coded he is my first time. He has crowds of adoring girls around him but doesn’t talk to any of them and instead goes to hang with the guys. He’s best friends with Mitsuru and romance isn’t hinted at once. Why are you as a man so obsessed with Shinji, hm?

Fuuka Yamagishi

I think Fuuka has an incredibly strong entrance into the game.

Her status as a navigator is like any person playing their first persona game and gets the navigator, pretty weak at first. Until you realize how powerful she really is. And I think that’s a good metaphor for her character. Turning her bully into her best friend shows her kindness, but also her strength at how she got Natsuki to respect her, not through brute strength but just by being good to her and saving her, and began to spend time with her because of this respect.

Unfortunately, Fuuka is pretty stagnant through most of the story.

I’m glad for some things like her bond with Yukari, and how she finds out the truth behind the Kirijo’s, but it seems like most of this is frontloaded while she takes a backseat to other plotlines, and most of her lines just seem to be her using her persona.

She does get one last incredible scene though in her evolution. When Natsuki leaves and gives Fuuka encouragement, I honestly did feel tears in my eyes for this friendship and the growth Fuuka had knowing she had people who loved her, in both Natsuki and SEES. I speak as someone who usually HATES the bully and victim become friends trope when I say they were a highlight.

So Fuuka isn’t my favorite but she’s a worthy character. I would fix some stuff, but I care her.

Mitsuru Kirijo

This is another character I found bland and uninteresting my first time. I can’t believe how dumb I was.

Okay, so there’s problems with Mitsurus character. I’ve mentioned most of them. Her social link, her becoming the heiress to the evil coorporation, etc etc. but oh goodness is she interesting.

This girl subjected herself to some implied horrific shit for the sake of correcting her families injustices. Because she didn’t want her father to live with the guilt. So she became isolated, depressed, and a bit of a ‘no fun allowed’ type. It could be argued that in the beginning she wants to rid the world of the dark hour the most.

But she’s also just a kid who shouldn’t have to subject herself to that. Her happiest moments aren’t when she’s talking to the father she wants to appease but with her found family in SEES.

As for Mitsurus dad- okay it’s not a Haru’s dad situation. I CAN see some of why Mitsuru cares about him. He’s the ‘stoic but kind’ archetype. The ‘beforetimes’ referred to are before the near end of the world was caused by this man’s father and left him feeling awful, and Mitsuru herself wanted to change that. But I still think the game glorifies him a little bit. Like hey, Strega said they were gathered by Kirijo group to learn persona summoning, and I’m pretty sure Mitsurus grandpa died in that explosion, so who was in charge of those child experiments that killed orphans? You wanna answer that game?

But okay, at the very least, I can see why Mitsuru would care for her father. He’s not as cartoonishly awful as Okumura is, he is an actual human being. And the game keeps its focus on this arc on Mitsuru where it belongs. And her big awakening is, while it’s still not great about acknowledging her dads shit, where it should be. On her realizing she has her friends.

So yes, Mitsuru isn’t as tightly written as Junpei and Yukari, but she’s still a good character.

Aigis

While most characters my first time around felt boring, Aigis felt fetishistic.

Like yes, this robot girls first action is to bury her face in the players bare chest. She watches you while you sleep. This is a running theme. Not only that, but I did not buy her transition into caring about SEES and becoming more human for reasons stated before. SEES don’t feel like friends, yadda yadda yadda.

This time around though, I saw a lot differently. Having the main character slowly bond with her as a friend outside her directive made her feel so much more like a character and not a writers fantasy. I liked little things like how she got excited over ladybugs and that made me appreciate other things like how she goes ‘maaan’ to repeat Junpei or how she gets into an argument with Koromaru. And this made her character development and realization of life’s beauty so much more impactful.

A robot who comes to understand life is a very typical trope, one that I love dearly. My first time didn’t really capture any of the magic for me, but this time around I really love Aigis.

Koromaru

Well, Koromaru is a simple character. He’s literally a dog. He does dog things. He’s implied to be smarter than the average dog. He has a backstory. But sometimes that’s all you need. He is a puppy. A creature. He’s your best friend. He’s loyal and he guarded the place of his last owner. I love you puppy.

Ken Amada

Okay, so first time, I thought Ken had the pieces of an arc that were decent but everything happened so fast. He was introduced, then the next time he did something significant it was saying his backstory and then attempted murder.

I think reloads linked episodes fixed this for me because god I wanna hug this kid. The way they imply his suicidal idealation, and how everyone in SEES sees him as a little brother, give him a family, but he just keeps ruminating on the single worst day of his life so bad he makes another. This kid has such good character development.

Shinjiro Aragaki

God I love Shinji. I love the ‘tough guy secretly loves dogs’ tropes. I love how he knows he’s doomed but still uses his last moments to try and make sure Ken doesn’t end up like him. I love how he cares about Akihiko but doesn’t want to move past his trauma. I love how he’s stuck in place as he is, refusing to let things go but is still fundamentally kind. I love Shinji.

Shuji Ikutsuki

Despite the fact I knew his betrayal was coming this time, I didn’t wanna believe Ikutsuki was a bad guy.

I loved his bad puns, his notebook full of them, how he suggested making the garden, how he just came to hang out in the living room sometimes to be supportive. I love you can catch him on camera making his bad jokes and laughing like a hyena to know that even if he was a shitty dude in the end, he genuinely loved those jokes. After everything he put you through, he was genuine when he told you his bad jokes. Which to me, is far more interesting than anything anyone has ever gleaned from Adachi.

Ryoji Mochizuki

Ryoji is honestly a very good character and I’m shocked. I’ve seen people compare him to Akechi for ‘friends who turn into antagonists’ but as much as I love Akechi, I don’t think Ryoji is anything like him.

But boy do I love him.

While the idea of a nice grim reaper has been done a million times, a kind hand guiding you towards the afterlife, (mind you I love that trope) Ryoji is the first time I’ve seen a bringer of death who hates being one. He loves life, and his friends, and the idea of it ending is scary, but inevitable and he wants to offer a choice, and it honestly feels so gut wrenching when you spend all this time waiting for him to betray you, when you realize he’s just a sweet kid who didn’t ask for this. And honestly, I think I liked him my first time around for that reason. Ryomina is a different story, but I came around to that too this time, and I don’t want this to be bogged down with thoughts on shipping.

Chidori

I pretty much got all my thoughts about Jin and Takaya down in the story section so I’ll skip right to Chidori. And I love her.

Chidori in the beginning feels like just another member of Strega. But when she gets taken to the hospital by SEES partway through, you can see that Strega were not very good to her. They don’t really care most of the game to try and free her, and we find out that she’s been self harming for a while- something Strega doesn’t just ignore, but considering Takayas philosophy, probably actively encouraged. And I like that at first, SEES aren’t equipped to handle her either. They close in and interrogate a very obviously traumatized and mentally ill girl before Junpei busts in to yell at them to give her space.

And I like how we see her passion for art. That despite her claims she cares for nothing, obviously she can’t do that. She loves art. And it’s because of Junpei she really wakes up to that.

I love Chidori

Conclusion

Honestly, I’m not sure if I can put my finger on what it was about Persona 3 that clicked for me this time. Maybe it was the linked episodes, maybe it was playing it for myself, maybe I’m just better at literary comprehension and analysis than before.

But P3 this time really stuck to me, and despite its flaws, I really do get the hype now.

#not putting this in the tags because it is very personal #p3 #gothitxt #that’s it

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writing2sirvive · 1 year

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I'm going to be that asshole and say I don't get its a wonderful life. I watched it a few years ago and the main idea, that he sees what life is like if he wasn't around was only in the last 20 minutes? I usually end up watching a classic that I haven't seen every Christmas but this one didn't do it for me. Singing in the rain on the other hand!

It’s A Wonderful Life is a movie ahead of its time made before it’s time. Let me explain:

To start off it was made when Patriotism and Capitalist views were the norm. Men went to boot camp and pulled themselves up by their boot straps and provided. This is seen when they talk about how George’s (the main character) brother and friends all went and fought in the war some way. Some join the army, fly planes, one becomes a doctor I believe while George stays home, he raises funds and does things in his community to help but he doesn’t get up and go which was seem as “the right thing to do”. Which leaves him feeling like he didn’t do enough (even though he does plenty)

George has plans to travel the world. But he doesn’t. He stays behind and does things for the people around him. He takes his fathers business (so his brother doesn’t have to), when the depression hits he uses his honeymoon money so the people around him don’t starve, when he’s a kid he jumps into a freezing river to save his brother which causes him to have hearing loss. And when the money he has to pay to the Evil Boss Man goes missing and he has no other way to pay it, he decided to try and end his life.

Not only does he not want to put his family through him going to jail he also feels like a failure. He promised his wife they would see the world and they never even had a honeymoon. He wanted to be on the front lines become rich. But he kept putting other people before him, he fought to keep prices low and kept people like the Evil Boss Man from taking control and making a monopoly over his town (which happens in the world without George Bailey). But doesn’t the see the Good he has done, he compares himself to the men he grew up with and feels like a failure because he didn’t do things “the right way” like they did.

But he sees what the world would look like without him and what would happen if he had not fought to keep his community safe from Evil Boss Man and realizes it is indeed A Wonderful Life so he runs home to give his family hugs and kisses before being carted off to jail. Then the community he had taken care of surges forward with baskets of funds and singing Christmas carols because someone said George Bailey needed help and they wanted to return the favor for all he had done for them.

I highly suggest watching the scene where George tells off Evil Business Man Mr. Potter, he’s trying to tell him that his evil money scamming ways are evil and not fair to the hard working people to this town. It got the movie investigated for being “pro-communism” but that whole monologue is “anti-capitalism” because that’s what this movie is about. Helping your fellow man and doing good deeds because that is the right thing to do. And maybe one day the people you helped might help you back.

And for a movie made in 1947 when Patriotism and Capitalism was higher than the Empire State Building, that’s really fucking impressive. Sure it didn’t do great at first but as time went on it became a classic.

Sorry to ramble Love I hope this explains the meaning of the movie.

#answering asks #its a wonderful life #letting my thoughts out

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animentality · 1 year

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I just finished Squid Game and while I understand that some people didn't like the ending, I really think it was great and those people are wrong.

And I don't mean the beautiful narrative of Sang Woo killing himself in the end so Gi Hun could have the money or how he killed Sae-byeok because he knew she and Gi Hun would stop the games as the majority.

That was great.

The old man's death and explanation were also great. The capitalism critique was fun, if not terribly deep.

I specifically mean the ending where he chooses to not see his daughter in America.

I get that people wanted him to not abandon her, but think of it like this, right?

His daughter had a father and a mother who cared about her and would make sure she lived a great life in America.

Gi Hun loved his daughter, but he needed her. Not the other way around. She was the only thing he cared about before the games.

But that was selfish, because she didn't need his money or his meager gifts. He needed her love and attention and love because he had nothing else. He needed HER.

He also lived off his mother at the time, so it was kind of a statement about him as a person, where he relies on his family and has no goals of his own.

And also, it was a little pitiful, how this grown man can't take care of himself but he needs his mother and daughter and even the husband of the woman he divorced to potentially pay for his dying mother's surgery.

But that's the whole point.

That's why the end of his arc was so satisfying to me because the reason that he decides to go after the squid games is not because he was being selfish.

He's actually standing up for people like himself.

Like the drunk man on the street, who he bet would be helped.

He realized someone had to do that for people like him. He didn't use the money because he was still one of them, and never one of the rich careless people who left others to die.

This was even foreshadowed as far back as him explaining that he went on strike at his old job when he was let go.

He is a man of the people.

It might seem silly and it might seem callous to not visit his daughter.

But I think it was fitting. Cheesy, maybe, but criticizing it because you wanted him to reunite with his daughter...well.

I loved his daughter too, but I understand that Gi Hun, even when pushed to his absolute limits, was still a good man, despite everything that happened.

He had the opportunity to kill Sang Woo, but he didn't.

He had the opportunity to live in America and forget about the poverty and the games and the cruelty that he escaped.

But he chooses to stay.

He chooses to stop being selfish. To continue being good, outside, where the games are just as real as the squid games.

And I honestly like that ending.

His arc was deserved. It was fitting.

And it was beautiful.

Someone had to make a difference. Someone had to stand up and help others, even if it didn't advance one's own goals.

Someone had to say I shall be the one who reaches out, even if no one else reaches back.

Gi Hun deserved his ending and he made the right choice.

I just hope they don't go too silly and have him John wicking his way through season 2.

#squid game #squid game spoilers

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lured-into-wonderland · 25 days

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Dear Nunnally Ambly des Ayvelles,

I want to first start by once again apologizing. I know you would have liked to come with me, but I was only coming as a replacement for my father. I sincerely hope you don't hold this decision against me. Thankfully, the caution was warranted. The displeasure on their faces when I arrived instead was evident to say the least, and equally as stressful for a few days. I'm sure bringing a guest along wouldn't have aided in their frustration with my father's absence. It was tense at first, but they've thankfully accepted the reality of the situation, so progress is now being made. How have you been? I hope keeping busy, having more fun than I am right now. I realize I never asked if you've grown comfortable yet, with a new home, people, culture? I suppose I never heard you complain or ask for help, so it hadn't crossed my mind. I also understand the reality of not yet viewing me as a confidant, so if there is anything that can be done to aid you in finding that person, please feel free to do so. It's admittedly odd to not have your company here after growing so used to it. A couple of mornings I wanted to ask if you were awake yet since you weren't with us for breakfast. The hope is to be leaving in a couple of days. I look forward to hearing what you've been up to. Would you like me to bring something specific back for you? I've also been taking notes of everything discussed for you and my father. Once I'm home and if you would like to, we can go over the trip together.

Thank you and please stay safe, Hibiya Subarashi

(… ) “Dear Hibiya Subarashi,

Your letter did find me in good health, although much later than I would have liked. I would wish I could say I was not distracted by your sudden and unexpected departure, but I, indeed, was. So, Her Majesty kindly suggested that I took a trip to the countryside. And so I did. But – as I want to believe by a simple mistake – my letters had not been forwarded to me so I am only able to reply now.

If you are wondering if I was enjoying the trip, the honest reply is: yes I was. The landscapes were beautiful, and I especially liked the mountains, which tops were still covered with snow. Snow is not something you often see in my lands, at least not anywhere close to the capital city. I was welcomed warmly, and it would have been a perfect stay, if it were not for your absence.” (…)

Nunnally stopped writing; she was looking at the words and the sentences her slim hand (with a help of a pen) put on the elegant blueish paper. They looked so stiff and unnatural for her; the truth was she wanted to write something else. Something warmer, something more personal, but if she did, would it ever be hold against her? Did the last sentence looked as if she was complaining about his official duties…? Though if she didn’t write it, wouldn’t it mean she was not missing him? And enjoying herself too much while he was away? Shouldn’t a fiancée miss her husband-to-be? But she was truly missing Hibiya. Why was he doubting he was close to her? She enjoyed his company, perhaps they were becoming friends... Although that probably wasn't the relation she was hoping to have with him… Did he want anything more than friendship?

Nunnally looked through the window; she could see the garden and the ladies of the court having a picnic there. It made her think that Hibiya was right: she was still a stranger here. She still didn’t feel accepted, feeling the pressure that Hibiya should be marrying someone coming from their culture? Repeating the choice his father had made? She had recently heard the remark (not meant for her ears) that she was nothing like Kana. And she was not. She didn’t want to be! Nunnally briefly remembered Hibiya’s first fiancée. They had met during some social event. Was he still missing her? Regretting the past?

The princess really tried. To fit. But it was not an easy task given how different their cultures were. Were Hibiya’s letter a gentle reminder that she was not doing good? Was a light scolding hidden under the polite words and kind concerns? Nunnally made a mental remark to try harder. Feeling the slight anger now filling her veins. She was doing really good; that was her honest assessment of her own efforts. How much more could be demanded from her now?

She started to write again.

(…) “ Seeing something beautiful, experiencing something new, I wanted to share it with you. Please forgive me my selfishness, I understand why you had to go and why my presence by your side would only be an additional burden. I was explained why your mission is important, and I am relieved that you assess it so far as a success. I will be happy to assist you with anything you find useful upon your coming back, which – as I was told – will unfortunately not happen as soon as I would wish for.” (…)

She stopped again. Nunnally had again that feeling that her letter seemed to be an accusation that he had left. She was doing such a bad job now, and she was painfully aware of that. She stood up and started to walk around her chambers in a slightly irritated manner before she sat down again and continued her writing.

(…) “I have filled my schedule with meetings and lessons so I am keeping myself busy. I am sure you’d be happy to know that the preparations for our wedding ceremony are progressing as planned. There will be some decisions to be taken upon your arrival, but I was not feeling confident to take them alone. The wedding planner you had suggested is, indeed, helpful, but some of their suggestions go against the things we had discussed and agreed upon. I do not find them of exceptional importance for the ceremony, but I might be missing some important elements that would be obvious for you. That is why I have decided to wait, but I truly hope this information will not cloud your thoughts.” (…)

Perhaps she shouldn’t mention their wedding at all? But then she would not be able to write about the wedding preparations because that was exactly what was happening. Should she tear the letter and start all over again? But there were already three drafts waiting to be burnt in the fire-place. And then if she omitted the subject, wouldn’t it look as if she didn’t want to discuss it. Why couldn’t she simply be honest and write what she really wanted and tell how she really felt?

Because you are a princess Nunnally. And your letters will always be the matter of state affairs; she replied herself and came back to writing.

(…) “You were asking me if there is anything you should bring me back from the trip. There is something I’d want. I would like you to come back and gift me some time together. I am well aware that the time after your coming back will be busy, but if you find it achievable, I would have a request for a joint breakfast or lunch. But of course duties come first, and I’ll understand if this meeting would have to wait. Otherwise, I’ll happily accept whatever gift you might have for me. Although I feel I am spoiled with gifts nowadays.” (…)

Yes, she was getting plenty of gifts now. As if everyone expected she should be showered with presents to make up for the crown prince leaving without her. She didn’t need being pitied in such a way, so the gifts truly annoyed Nunnally. Though they also kept her busy writing all these ‘thank you’ notes, and when required sending the small appreciation gifts back. She sighed. She would have greatly preferred to be there with him. Although the princess understood why she had to stay. Yes, keeping her away from the country’s affairs had annoyed her and was often the reason she felt unwanted and useless. But this time she knew she could not go. Would Hibiya know she knew? That she started to understand the country, its politics (and him?) better.

(…) “Tomorrow I am leaving for another two days to attend the local festival in the shrine in the nearby town, so as you can see I am well taken care of. I am not sure if my visit can be or will be considered as an official appearance, but I will do my best to make the right impression.

Please stay safe and I do hope I will be able to enjoy your company soon.

Nunnally (…)

It’s where she wanted to stop. To add a personal touch into the letter. To let Hibiya know that she was growing close to him this way or another. They might never become lovers. They might never feel lust for each other, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t become friends. And then being friends was equally important for royals as sexual desire. Though Nunnally couldn’t deny she wanted to find out how it feels to be truly desired. And to desire. But perhaps it was not her destiny.

Her thoughts drifted to her naïve maiden dreams and wishes that seemed to be overridden by the reality of the real life. She used to think she would despise her current life more. But she did not. How odd that was…! The princess was sitting there deep in her thoughts until the ticking of the clock brought her back to "now". And she simply finished undersigning her letter.

(…) Mathilde Ambly des Ayvelles”

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she folded the letter and put in inside the envelop to have it delivered to Hibiya. She didn’t know why she was crying. A princess should not cry.

A princess should not cry.

@royaletiquette

#hibiya #nunnally #royaletiquette #have nunnally at her very core #overthinking everything but like really everything she writes #and interpreting facts to her own detriment #nun!#just stop please #and i am so sorry it took me ages #but she was never happy with what i wrote #but here we are #finally

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amrv-5 · 1 year

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Hiiii Parker, for the writing meme, from S2G2 chapter 19, because I absolutely love Hawkeye’s inner monologue in this section:

He wondered what things were like over in the USSR. What they had thought of the war, during. Had it been just as roundly ignored except for, he figured, a few nervous mothers? Angry fathers? Heartbroken widows? Was there, even now, some Soviet doctor sprawled across his lover’s lap, sinking into despair, disgusted by the actions of his nation’s military, of every military, distrustful of its government, losing hope in humanity, pulling now only for the person-to-person good that could be accomplished outside of any sort of grander organization—was its citizenry as largely ambivalent to the war as the United States’ had been? Did that, too, upset him, this imaginary healer?

So much loss and destruction, and all for a piece of land approximately the size of Nebraska.

A childish thought: why couldn’t everybody just get along, and be nice? Damn the geopolitical complexities, the social nuances, the ideological impasses. Couldn’t everybody just sit the hell down and shut up and break bread? Would it be so terribly hard to just let everybody alone—except when they needed help?

BJ shifted his weight, his hand still moving in gentle circles over Hawkeye’s torso.

Hawkeye prepared to be pushed away, sinking into mild despondency.

Something grazed his lips, and he opened his eyes.

BJ was holding a strawberry to his mouth, expression soft.

Hawkeye closed his eyes, chest aching. Who was he kidding—the bad was so unbearable precisely because there was good in the world, and beauty, and light. Because people could be very, very kind, because, at the best of times, and even, dare he believe it, most times, everybody in the world was constantly engaged in minute acts of caretaking.

He opened his mouth. The strawberry was good. Sweet, ripe, tasting of summer.

BJ’s thumb brushed the curve of his lower lip before his hand withdrew.

And before he could spend too long focusing on the mechanics by which somebody obtained fresh strawberries in February, what massive logistics were involved, the ridiculous and shameful decadence of having ripe fruit available every day of the year while people elsewhere starved, there was another strawberry at his mouth.

Aghhhhhhh LISA HELLO!!!!!!! This is one of my favorite sections of the whole damned piece I’m so thrilled you picked it out:

OKAY AHHHHH I’m still. AHHHHHH about this being picked omg. Okay this is going to get so long I’m so sorry.

Okay, so, blow-by-blow, right off the bat we’ve got an invocation of the USSR and the shadow of nuclear proliferation, the anxiety of which (not sure if this is obvious? It might be so buried in implication it’s only clear after I say it outright) creeps throughout the background of S2G2. But I also tried to flip that and here have Hawkeye framing the war as a crime of government, and law-of-large-numbers himself into empathizing with a potential doctor from the “other” side who, after all, he has far more in common with than an American general.

But the ‘crime of government’ framing turns out to be too simplistic, actually, because Hawkeye half-indicts the citizenry of each country for their perceived apathy. It’s hard to see significant suffering and realize that your society has not just ignored it but in many ways actually profited from it, and appears entirely unwilling to do anything to prevent similar future tragedies. That’s insane-making, and another recurrent S2G2 Hawk-thought—is it really insane to be devastated by devastating realities?

And from there we hit maybe my most controversial Hawkeye characterization, which is that I agree with Alan Alda when he said Hawkeye isn’t actually an extremely politically (American) liberal character. By that I mean that I primarily see Hawkeye as a proponent of autonomy, and concerned with government overreach (he was drafted, after all), rather than a capital-D Democrat. He avoids the libertarian label, though, by being pretty clearly anti-capitalist, pro-education, and also by advocating for helping others in need while disavowing his government. Does this make him, like, an anarchist? I don’t really know, I’m not a poli-sci guy. He just thinks that people should be allowed to read or watch or wear or do with their own bodies whatever they want, so long as it isn’t hurting anybody.

Anyway, as readers know he’s been on a long, complex, and largely silent spiral this chapter. It’s a lot of heady stuff, reflecting on reflections of his despair, very internal work, and this is the final car of an exhausting freight train of thought.

Which is why we’ve got BJ to draw Hawkeye out of his head and back to the physical. He’s a grounding presence here, holding Hawkeye in his lap, touching him gently, literally feeding him.

At which point Hawkeye gets a reflection on the central catch of his despair, and why he can’t make himself entirely give up on humanity, even when it would be easier to do so: People can be so good.

The phrasing of his realization, by the way, is a big-time homage to the Ross Gay essayette “The sanctity of trains” from The Book of Delights, which basically changed my life via radio (I might write about this someday, or not, it’s not very interesting) and which anyway everybody should go read instantly:

“...I suppose I could spend time theorizing how it is that people are not bad to each other, but that's really not the point. The point is that in almost every instance of our lives — our social lives — we are, if we pay attention, in the midst of an almost constant, if subtle, caretaking. Holding doors open, offering elbows at crosswalks, letting someone else go first, helping with the heavy bags, reaching what's too high or what's been dropped, pulling someone back to their feet, stopping at the car wreck, at the struck dog, the alternating merge, also known as the zipper — this caretaking is our default mode, and it's always a lie that convinces us to act or believe otherwise — always.”

The rest of this is Hawkeye noticing the caretaking, letting himself accept it, allowing himself to just focus on feeling physically okay, the pleasure of being held and having something nice to eat. These are pretty obviously central themes in a lot of my work—the continuing unsolvedness of the big questions, the lingering suspicion of the validity of despair, and then tentatively finding contentment in just being an embodied animal. Not apathy, not naivety, but intentionally allowing oneself to find moments of peace because it is necessary for survival.

+Bonus my clear affection for food/feeding as love, because I’m incapable of keeping that from infiltrating everything I write yaaay. It's just so shatteringly romantic to me. Ugh. Anyway. THANK YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #I GOT REALLY EXCITED #My S2G2 thoughts are way more insane than for any of my other fics I’m sorry

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succs · 1 year

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5 & 6 for your kenneth & stewart questionnaire (i hope those are their full names)

it’s not for either of them but i respect my delusion indulgence anyways thank you

5. What were they like in college?

I feel like Kendall was still in the grips of Logan’s claws in college of course. He was in a different city, a different state, and I do think that physical proximity away from Logan helped him feel a little bit looser on the leash. That relieved him as much as it scared him. Didn’t amount too much more, but waking up in the morning without the anxiety of his father’s stature looming over him is a nice relief. While I don’t believe it on a personal ideological level, I think Jesse Armstrong’s claim that “people don’t change, not really” (He said it in an interview but I can’t for the life of me find which one if someone can help out) holds a lot of weight to their relationship. Like, Kendall’s course of action and motivations may change but on a fundamental level he still revolves solely around his father. That will never change. So I feel like, much how he does now, if Stewy wanted to either guide Kendall in a direction (for financial/tactical purposes or otherwise), he would do what works best, and that’s frame Logan’s approval/disapproval as an attainable asset in whatever they’re cooking. “You gotta demonize him before you kill his ass.” “I saw what he did to you when you were a kid, I was there.” I think part of Stewy realizes that Kendall’s world revolving solely around Logan, even through disdain, is unhealthy. But I do think he assumes that’s so much more healthier for him than being the dog that keeps crawling back. I think Stewy gave Kendall his first blunt, first line, first beer. And yeah, while maybe he partially fumbles with that guilt a little considering Kendall’s rehab trip, I do think Stewy is still a private equity finance bro who’s perception and understanding of addiction is shaky at best. His drug habits started in Harvard (assumably) a period in his life where (assumably) the company and his family didn’t have as close reach to him. See; my first point.

Of course they had the late night “We’re gonna take over the world, man. It’s gonna be ours.” But i don’t know, personally that always seemed kind of bittersweet and bleak, which fits. Two 1% bozos circlejerking about they can’t wait to own the world and profit off of inequality because of capitalism and Logan’s assurance that Kendall serves no other purpose. The fact that that’s eventually unattainable to both of them says a lot about their dynamic, yeah? It’s depressing on all fronts. Uhhh what else, I think Stewy is the only man Kendall ever fucked. Stewy fooled around some though, Harvard boys make do. I think they had those funny celebrity magazine clippings mentioning them, probably some jokes about Kendall sucking dick like stock or some corny MTV bullshit. Most of them would be testimonies of people calling Kendall annoying and stuck up. Rumors about him using and Stewy’s involvement yatta yatta. I’m sure Stewy likes the attention though, even if it’s often indirect. I know I would. Also my truth is @onemagpie @doodoocumfart and @ophiocordycep draw my ideal college KenStewy like those goobers just exist in my mind now to me they are real and palpable.

6. sexuality n gender headcanons. r they bi4bi. t4t. gay4bi. etc etc. u get it

Not my concern. I think sexuality and labeling in Succession is such like, a particularly alien concept for these characters. I think @romanroydinnerparty has made some insanely spot on posts that probably explain that point a lot better than I can. But I do think the idea of Kendall using his bisexuality as pseudo-woke publicity bullshit (like the faux-feminism arch) and doing the “QUEER AF CEO💪🏳️‍🌈” thing is sooooo funny.

#succ.txt #sorry went insane #I have more to say on college KenStewy but eh I’ll do it later I’m tired

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passionforfiction · 4 months

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Dr. Romantic: The Way to a Dream Come True

Dr. Romantic is made up of three seasons with a lapse of 4 years between the Season 1 and Season 2 and a 3 years lapse between Season 2 and 3. The first season we are introduced to the regular Doldam Hospital and new arrivals: Kang Dong Joo and Yoon Seo Jung. Master Kim helps these two young doctors and his regular staff to sharpen their skills and find realize their dreams. We see their growth as professionals and as human beings, while healing people and fighting to keep the hospital open. This first season ends with Kang Dong Joo and Yoon Seo Jung heading to new challenges but leaving a hope for their return.

Second season, Master Kim and his regular staff are still healing people while fighting to maintain the hospital running. We are introduced to three new doctors: Cha Eun Jae, Seo Woo Jin, and Yoon Ah Reum. In this case we have doctors returning and a doctor from a capital hospital, Park MinGuk becomes Holdam Hospital director as part of Chairman Do's attempt to take Master Kim down. But at the end we leave the hospital with a secure standing (no one can touch the property) and Dr. Park decides to partner with Master Kim and work together towards making Master Kim's dream come true - have a trauma center in the hospital.

Season 3 seems to be the conclusion to his story. Now they have the trauma center building connected to the old part of the hospital and they are about to open, but they need government funding to help run the center since this is a non-profit hospital. The staff is divided into two areas and those working at the trauma center will need to deal with their new director. Master Kim's Plan B - Dr. Cha Jin Man, who is also Dr. Cha Eun Jae's father and later Plan A - Kang Dong Joo.

I must admit that I was so excited to see Kang Dong Joo back and to see that Yoo Seo Jung returned, along other doctors that were part of the staff in the previous two seasons. It is satisfying to see Master Kim's dream come true: have the trauma center ran by his students.

You would've thought that he would want to run the center - after all, it was his dream - but he decided to stay in the old part of the hospital and have the another person run the trauma center. I loved the love stories and the new young characters. It was a really sweet way to bring this story to an end.

This story is one of my favorites on the doctors-drama category. A most watch, the three of them. I would watch them back to back, that way I would catch on things I probably missed since I saw them when they came out and time has past between each viewing.

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incorrecttowerofgodquotes · 1 year

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Gundam: The Witch From Mercury Episode 5 Review

-Let’s get into the most important character this episode: Elan. He’s a genetically engineered clone created specifically to handle the strain of using Gundam technology. I always had a suspicion that he wasn’t fully organic due to the gloves he wears, but he’s a full test tube baby, not just part robot. I feel bad for him, all he wants is companionship and sought that in Suletta, but when he saw that she doesn’t struggle like him, he realized he’s truly alone. Of course, that doesn’t excuse making Suletta cry, but his feelings are understandable. I’m going to guess he’ll be a part one antagonist before either switching sides or dying.

-Now for the MVP, Guel! Immediately sliding into the rescue and defending his lady’s honor. But then he got his ass kicked lol. This might be a hot take, but personally, I think Guel is the best pilot we’ve seen so far. He piloted a mecha he wasn’t used to that was stuck in the ground and he still did a great job against Elan. Especially that scene of him dodging the lasers. Once he gets his Darilblade back and learns to control his anger, I expect him to be the Badass Normal of the group. Taking names while not piloting a Gundam.

-Another great thing about Guel is his attitude. It’s clear he’s still struggling with the misogynistic ideals planted in him, but he’s gone from looking down on Suletta to genuinely liking her. You can see his attitude change when he realizes she’s crying. He also went directly against his father once again, but since he lost, I don’t see him getting out unscathed. He’ll probably be disowned and kicked out of the Jeturk House. But then, maybe Suletta will take him into Earth House. It’d do wonders on his personality if he started working and living with more humble people and those willing to call him out. I see Mio and Guel being real frosty towards each other but after a deep talk they both work together to protect Suletta

-This episode really seems to be pushing the Eri=Aerial theory. Suletta apparently has a sibling, and she doesn’t remember her father which is weird since she was four years old when he died, not a baby. Elan also mentions that she might have somebody else’s face, and who else could it be but Eri. Finally, I think the reason Aerial doesn’t put a strain on the user is because it’s the one taking the strain, or more accurately, Eri is taking on all the pain so Suletta can pilot normally. Now of course there are problems with this theory, but I think this is the most probable explanation so far.

-Peil Technology seems to get pass the Gundam argument by making clones that can handle the mecha’s strain. Therefore you can’t say it’s damaging to the pilot and human rights if the pilot isn’t human. Of course I doubt Delling “I say it’s a Gundam” Rembraun would let this slide, but since they’re a big money maker, an under the table deal will get them out of hot water. Ah, the beauties of capitalism

-Finally, I want to talk about the male-centered dueling that this episode pushes. While Guel is trying to help Suletta, he undermines her own agency by creating a duel for her. The story seems to be pushing the same theme Utena did, that chauvinistic males take away a woman’s agency to her own body or soul. I expect Guel to grow out of these themes as the story goes on, but the society as a whole still remains locked in this male-centered combat. Hell, the only female in the dueling committee just sits around and paints her nails. I hope the series takes the route of allowing Suletta to make her own decisions without being pressured, just like what her mother is doing to her.

-I expect the next episode to be Elan and Suletta’s duel. With the title “A gloomy song” I’m going to guess it’ll reference back to the prologue when Eri’s dad sung Happy Birthday. Maybe Suletta will hear that song while she’s fighting and either she or Aerial will go berserk. As to whether she wins or loses, I think there’s a 50/50 chance of both options. If she does lose, I can see her only getting Aerial back on the part 1 finale, with the down time being used to strengthen her piloting skills with other mechas and to bolden her personality.

#in short this entire episode is about ntr #elan currently ntr’ing mio and guel #and he’s about to steal suletta’s sister too #worst boy would punch him on sight #gundam witch from mercury #gundam #g witch

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anhed-nia · 1 year

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BLOGTOBER 10/29/2022: THE SENTINEL (1977)

First of all, there should be some kind of law that says you can't have Burgess Meredith and William Hickey in the same movie. It could be for the same reason they're not allowed to sell eggnogg year round; it's just too much of something.

Now, with that out of the way: Michael Winner's THE SENTINEL is a pretty good movie full of pretty great people—even its cast of extras is surprisingly star-studded—but with a bummer finale that makes a lot of sense if you're aware of the filmmaker's reputation for being an asshole. Venerated horror scholar Robin Wood called the movie "the worst—most offensive and repressive—horror film of the 70s," which, if you're me, means you absolutely have to see it. Also if you're me, you might wonder what all the hyperbole is about until the very end.

Arriving in 1977 and clearly wishing to join the dwindling party started by ROSEMARY'S BABY, THE EXORCIST, and THE OMEN, THE SENTINEL concerns a young model who will suffer a bizarre punishment for wanting a little more independence. Allison (Cristina Raines) is leery of moving in with her morally ambiguous lawyer boyfriend Michael (Chris Sarandon), as she still feels icky about the recent, convenient death of Michael's wife. That's not the only thing bugging Allison, though; she was recently released from a mental institution, and is haunted by the ghost (figuratively and perhaps even literally) of her debaucherous father. She figures she just needs a little time and space in which to learn to stand on her own two feet again, and she finds the worst place to do it in a handsome Brooklyn brownstone populated by devilish oddballs (including Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, John Carradine, and…there's just more familiar faces in this movie than I have the energy to name). When Allison realizes she's not going to get the peace of mind she hoped for, she complains to her broker (Ava Gardner), only to learn that she is supposedly alone in the building, and that her struggle with insanity may not be over. Either that, or she's being embroiled in a battle between good and evil that it will take a lot of convoluted investigation to sort out.

THE SENTINEL has a lot of moving parts; co-writer Jeffrey Konvitz adapted his own novel for the screen, and it's easy to imagine that this frenetic narrative may hold together better within the more generous bounds of a book. However, despite all the overly involved infernal intrigue, the film is pretty watchable just due to its collection of kooky performances and its amusingly sleazy set pieces. It's basically all fun and games up to the end, when Michael Winner makes a choice that is hard to sit with by casting real people with extreme disabilities and deformities as demons from hell.

This notorious Boschian finale is admittedly frightening and effective, but as soon as you realize that not much of what you see is a special effect, your experience changes. Personally, it takes me out of the movie, and sends me spiraling into the vortex of debating whether exploitative freak shows should be banned outright, or whether people with unusual or pathological appearances should be allowed to capitalize on their situation however they see fit. This is pretty far outside the realm of the campy romp I thought I was in for, and to call it "insensitive" feels like a comical understatement. I don't know what Michael Winner was thinking when he decided to do this, but for someone with his reputation for being cruel, intolerant, and abusive, hearing his perspective probably wouldn't be overly eye-opening.

What's the moral of the story of this movie? I'm not entirely sure, but it has certainly earned its place in horror history as an item that we probably won't stop talking about any time soon. It is definitely something to see, and fun while the fun lasts, but be prepared to do a lot of soul-searching after the credits roll.

PS Just to sort of counterbalance the effect of talking about this much-discussed movie, I want to point out a film starring people with unusual appearances that attempts to deliver a more positive, albeit even more challenging message: 2018's HAPPY FACE, in which an attractive teenage boy secretly infiltrates a support group for people with severe deformities, as a way of gaining a better understanding his mother, who has been disfigured by cancer. Because of its sincerity and realism, HAPPY FACE can be much harder to take than THE SENTINEL, but I dunno, maybe everyone should have to see it:

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peachysooxo · 1 day

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The Kingdom of Us

Chapter 9

pairing: kyungsoo x OFC genre: Royal!AU, nonidol!soo, crownprince!kyungsoo, romance, drama theme: arranged marriage, modern royalty, enemies to lovers, war, betrayal, smut, fluff word count: 6,019 description: shortly after Kyungsoo and Alina get married, war breaks out and causes the couple to be completely devoted on military strategy and relief efforts respective. Alina tries to break free from her mental captivity, Kyungsoo finds himself in a difficult position when it comes to protecting Alina and possible peace talks with King Daniel. warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of war and violence, smut

author’s note: hello dear reader (: Chapter 9 is here! I AM SO SORRY that I got into a bad writer’s block slump. I’ll do my best to keep this story updated. This story has definitely been a challenge but I’m happy to share it with you. It means so much that you’re still reading! Photos are not mine. Dividers by @saradika-graphics . Enjoy!

KYUNGSOO

The day of our wedding was one I’ll never forget. That moment in the garden is so special to me, because that night was the night I truly fell in love with my wife. I wasn’t certain until that moment that it was actually love and not pure infatuation. Having her in my arms every single night made me realize I didn’t want anything else. Unfortunately, we didn’t have much time to spend together after our wedding. Father started to step back from his royal duties once the threat of war became real and the bombs started to drop. It didn’t make much of a difference, most of my adulthood I’ve been a shadow king, doing everything an active king does anyway while being chief of military. Most of my time was spent meeting with the military and counsel for strategy because Father allowed cowardice to hold him back.

Smaller towns were bombed at our borders and that took most of my attention. Before we knew it, three months had gone by and our lives were consumed with the war. Of course, Alina was the first to volunteer with medical aid and coordinating relief efforts with our allies.

What bothered me is some Seoul critics were upset she was even at the front lines helping others, and not pregnant with my heir yet. The last thing I wanted to do was bring a child into a war zone, it was senseless. They seemed to think a child would bring hope to our people, when in reality all they want is to survive, not to glorify a royal child. It also bothered me greatly that many looked at Alina and didn’t see her strength or giving heart, they only saw her as The Crown Prince’s Beauty or only a means for the Doh Dynasty to continue. Opinions change rather quickly when things don’t go exactly to plan.

Unnecessary pressure started to build up for Alina, with most of it coming from Mother and male politicians that shouldn’t have even looked in my love’s direction. Alina was so much more than what they wanted her to be, and I refused to allow these people to pressure either of us into the next phase of our love story. An heir is the least of my worries at the moment, my priority is keeping Alina alive and with me.

Azteco kept inching closer and closer to the capital and the attacks were met with greater defense. King Daniel had a goal, and he wasn’t going to see it get recognized. It baffles me that a King with a wife would start a war over a Crown Princess and building an empire. He can’t have my Princess, I’ll die before he gets his filthy hands on her.

The most I saw of Alina was at night. We’d hold each other and forget a war was going on all around us. She gave me a peace I’ve never known, a love I’ve never felt. Her nightmares were getting worse night after night. I ordered more security for her if I couldn’t be with her, including assassins. I don’t want her to worry that something will happen if I’m not around, I wanted her to feel secure. I have still seen to it that she gets training in swords, from what I hear from Commander Jongin, she’s catching on fairly quickly and is more confident. What I really want is to have our lessons start again.

I placed General Junmyeon in charge so I can step back and spend some time with Alina. Now that I finally have free time, I decided to do all of the things we missed out on during the earlier months of our marriage. The entire day was spent in the garden, stealing kisses as we walked around the palace, and sharing a meal together. The sun set on a beautiful day, Alina and I were side by side at the entrance of our chambers.

“Let me carry you inside.” I mutter lowly, hoisting Alina into my arms and cradle her close to my chest. With a small shriek, Alina wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her past the threshold. I shut the door with my foot and carry my wife to the comfy couch in the spacious living room. I trip and land on top of her, laughing with her at my own clumsiness. “I promise that I’m usually more coordinated than this.”

“Why did you carry me inside, amorcito?” Alina giggles.

I playfully pout and gaze down, my eyes slowly meeting hers in a soft and silent plea. I sit back on the couch and wrap an arm around Alina’s shoulders. “It’s what the husband does in the movies after he marries his wife… Something I failed to do.”

Alina laughs and yawns. “There’s a war going on, and you’re acting as King of our Kingdom. You did great, it was like a movie moment that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. What is… Why do our chambers look different?”

“Look around and tell me, Darling.” I smile, and Alina jumps up to her feet. I’ve planned this moment for weeks, adding the personal touches of Valencia to our chambers will hopefully make her feel more comfortable. It was hell getting the things from Mariposa to Seoul, Lisette had to help me with most of it. I follow her and try not to laugh at her soft gasps and how she keeps covering her mouth with her hand. The wonder in her eyes was adorable, she wasn’t expecting all of the personal touches.

“Is everything to your liking?” I smile down at her, she nods and excitedly smiles back at me.

“It’s beautiful. Are these bedsheets from…”

“Mariposa? Yes.” I smile, kissing her temple. Alina yawns again and separates from me.

“You are a secret romantic, aren’t you, Crown Prince?” Alina giggles under red cheeks.

“Perhaps I’m just madly in love with my beautiful wife,” I leave kisses on her cheeks and hold her close to my chest. I hold on to this moment, I know these moments won’t last much longer and I need anything to get through the trenches of war without Alina. She yawns one more time and I chuckle softly. “Princess, am I boring you?”

“No! No, not at all. I’m just so exhausted from the hospital and working with Ally Relief. I would love nothing more than to just be in your arms and sleep. I’ve missed you.” She says while slowly walking over to the dresser to get clothes to sleep in. She holds a silk nightgown in her hands and my eyes widen. My mind starts to race with thoughts of her, but I know I have to hold myself back. As soon as she shuts the door to the bathroom, I quickly change my clothes and get into bed. Sheets from Mariposa were much more comfortable than ones from Seoul, and all I could think about was my wife and I tangled up in them. Alina enters the room and all I want is to take that nightgown off of her and-

“Kyungsoo? Are you okay?” Alina waves her hand in front of my face. My ears warm and I nod with an embarrassed smile. If only she knew the thoughts I’ve had of her since the intimacy we shared in my library… Alina settles on the bed and gets under the sheets.

“Comfy?” I ask while turning off the lights. A soft glow filters through the windows, the moon always favors my princess. Alina nods and cuddles closer to me in between the thick blankets and soft sheets. “Good. Now rest. We’re picking up our sword training again tomorrow morning.”

“I want to sleep in tomorrow, why are you making me do it? We haven’t seen much of each other in months, and this is how you want to spend our time?” Alina whines with a pout.

“Alina, you have to learn.” I kiss her forehead. “It’s important. Perhaps if you do well, a surprise will await you.”

“Hmm… You’re just enticing me. Fine, okay.” Alina rests in my arms and drifts to sleep. I lie awake with my princess in my arms, occasionally holding her tighter when her body tenses from the nightmares.

Halfway through the night, Alina wakes up with a whimper and shaking hands. I sit up and keep her wrapped in my arms, trying to calm her anxiety.

“Kyung…”

“Shhh… It’s okay, Darling. I’m right here.” I whisper. She gazes down at her arms and touches certain spots. Curiously, she looks at me with a look of shock dilating her pupils.

“They’re gone.” She whispers.

“What’s gone?”

“The… Marks… He left…” my blood gets hotter as I sit in front of Alina, my eyes focused as my determination grows to fix this for her. “Kyungsoo… I want him erased from my memory and my body. I want to be free… I want to… I want…”

“Alina… What happened in the dream?” I ask, rubbing her arms slowly.

“He… He…,” Alina squeezes her eyes shut as a blush blooms across her beautiful face, “You and I were in this room… You were… making love to me. Then after… He came and killed you and took me… Doing horrible things to me. I had marks and cuts everywhere like before…”

“Tell me where he hurt you, Princess.” I say softly. Alina reaches for my hand and places it on her forearm. “Here?”

“Yes.” She shakes nervously. I bring her arm to my lips and press them warmly onto her skin. My lips linger and then press in on her other forearm while my eyes stay focused on her.

“Where else?”

Alina sighs and I watch the fear escape her pleading eyes. She gathers her hair behind her neck and shows me her right shoulder. She lowers her nightgown strap and reveals a faint scar. My fingertips trace the scar, and I can feel her skin warm up at my touch. A million different things run through my head as I touch her. I need to cure her of these nightmares, these worries.

“I screamed for help and got this.”

Flames of anger burst all over my body, and I shake my head and pull her close to my mouth. I nervously lean down and leave kisses along the scar. My breath escapes my lungs as my lips hover above her collarbone.

“Anywhere here, Princess?” I breathe into her neck. Alina nods slowly and brushes her hand over her neck. “Your neck?”

“Yes…” Alina’s eyes eyes fill with tears. I didn’t even want an explanation of what happened. I can’t bear it. I begin to wipe her tears slowly with my thumbs. I bury my face in her neck as I obsessively kiss her skin in small, gentle pecks. My arms tighten around Alina’s waist and my mouth stops at her ear. Her breath catches and her voice shakes as she whispers to me. “What are you… What are you doing?”

“Erasing him from you,” I whisper back. I nestle my head in the crook of her neck again and my lips graze the length of her neck. “I won’t stop until every inch of you is free of him.”

I settle Alina in my lap without breaking eye contact. Loving her in the dark is a whole new thrill, because no matter how dark the room is, I can feel her eyes on me. The only light in this room is from the moon, giving Alina her usual glow that I obsess over. I kiss my way back up to her cheek and turn her face slowly, my mouth desperately meeting hers. She presses her chest against mine but her embrace is uncertain, her hands shaking as they hold my face.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Princess.” I say softly, breaking our connection and resort to caressing her shoulder blade.

“The feeling of… Wanting more. How it feels so wrong to want more yet I am so afraid of this. The fact that I must give you a child,” She whispers, “I don’t want to disappoint you, Kyungsoo.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, or this. It’s not wrong to give in to your desires, Darling. We’ll worry about a child once this war is over. I don’t want our child to be born during a time of war. They deserve a peaceful world, and you deserve a beautiful pregnancy whenever you are ready to have our child. You tell me when you’re ready, not politicians or anyone else. Is that understood?” I explain slowly and gently, caressing her face as I speak to her.

“I am relieved you are on my side,” Alina sighs. I kiss her lips and hold her closer to me, my hands find their way through her hair.

“Darling, there’s no other place I’d want to be. Do you want me to keep going? Do I have your permission to keep kissing you?” I ask. Alina nods but I shake my head. “No, Alina. I want you to tell me yes or no. Use your words.”

“Yes, Kyungsoo. Kiss me.”

I nod and press my lips on hers, sweeping her hair away to fall down her back again to expose her shoulders. I want her to enjoy this, I want her to feel like she has a say in what she wants… That I will do everything she asks of me, I’m in her hands and at her every command. I press my thumb into her shoulder and part from her mouth. “May I kiss you here?”

“Yes.”

Once her skin touches my lips, her soft moan causes euphoria to burst in my brain. I press kisses across her chest. Small groans keep escaping her mouth, she’s giving in to her wants and that’s exactly what I need her to do. Her nightgown was an obstacle in my way, I wanted so badly to rip it off of her, but I knew that would make her panic. “Alina.”

“Yeah?” She rasps.

“May I take this off?” I ask hopefully. Her hands grip my arms and she nods.

“If I can take your shirt off.” She bargains nervously.

“Yes, you can, darling.” I smirk. I slowly expose her body to my eyes. I thought it was impossible for a woman to be perfect, but here I am with perfection in my hands. She carefully pushes my shirt off of my shoulders and I turn her slowly, laying her on our bed. I hover on top of her, leaving a trail of kisses from her lips to her jaw and keep kissing my way down until I get to the base of her neck. Alina groans and slides her fingers in my hair as I lower myself to kiss her chest, slowly inching toward her stomach.

“May I take these off of you?” I whisper while caressing her thigh, my mouth lingering on her hip.

“Please, baby.” That’s all I needed. I hook my fingers inside of her underwear and pull them down and off of her hips, delighted at the sight of her dripping wet for me. It’s a feeling of pride that I can do this to her body, that it’s me that she wants.

Alina reaches up and brings my eyes to meet hers. Her thumbs softly caress my lips. I grind against that perfect spot between her legs and hips, her knees rise and enclose me into her. We entangle ourselves in each other, our kisses getting needier. I reach my hand back and graze her leg, inching closer to the top of her thigh. I squeeze her flesh and become desperate to feel her around me. Alina moans in my mouth at the friction I repeatedly create. My fingers spread past her hips and before I could feel in between her legs, I feel Alina tense in my arms. I stop, pull my hand away and look down at my princess.

"Kyungsoo… Wait..." Alina whispers nervously, her hand resting on my chest. “I didn’t like that…”

"I’ll never do it again, darling. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do.” I assure Alina and drop to her side. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck.

“I don’t know what I want…” her voice trails off and I know I’m losing her to memories. I have to get her back to earth before she has an anxiety attack.

“Then we’ll find out what you like. Just look in my eyes when you get scared. I’ll take care of you with every touch, every kiss, it’ll all be for you. You’re with your husband who adores you. We’re far away from the rest of the world in this moment. We’ll only keep going if you’re ready.” I whisper softly onto her skin. Alina’s breath becomes even, and her muscles relax with each word that comes out of my mouth. It pains me that Alina was traumatized over something that was supposed to be so beautiful between the two of us. I slowly stroke Alina’s hair and hold her close to my chest. I turn her head and kiss her quivering lips. I needed to calm her, make her feel safe. Alina relaxes in my hold. She turns to me and softly smiles with her hand on my cheek.

"I’m ready."

“Are you sure, darling?”

“Yes.” Alina nods calmly. I nod and quickly grab a condom from the bedside table. Alina watches me as I rip the foil and slide it down my length, almost clumsily returning to her. I line myself up at her entrance but Alina scoots back, becoming aware of what’s about to happen.

"Kyungsoo..."

"Look in my eyes, darling. It's me. It’s only me.” I soften my gaze. “I’ll go slow, baby. May I keep going?”

Alina nods and I capture her in a slow burning kiss. I whisper lowly, “Mmmm, Alina. Use your words. I want to hear your gorgeous voice.”

“Y-Y-Yes, Kyungsoo. Keep going.” Alina stutters back.

I slowly enter her, cradling her close enough to brush my nose against hers. My hands stay planted on either side of her head and her fingers grip my shoulders tightly. I hang my head, mesmerized by how she feels around me. I watch as her body reacts to me being inside of her. For a moment I admire her heavenly, beautiful face. “You feel heavenly, princess.”

I slowly bury myself deeper into her, taking my time to drown in her walls, wanting to satisfy her every craving. Show her that this is meant to feel good, that her wants matter. My mouth wanders her neck and chest, leaving deep purple marks that bloom on her skin like flowers. Her melodic moans bounce off of the walls and they’re such a pleasant gift to my ears. Every move I make causes shivers through Alina’s body. I watch her eyes roll then focus again. "Kyungsoo... Kyung… Kyung..."

“Good girl, you’re doing so well.” I praise. I can see the switch go off in Alina’s head as the words leave my mouth and she tightens around my length. I’ve always said this to her, but now it felt different. It was less innocent and more sensual. We’re lost in a kiss and Alina surprises me by wrapping her legs around me. She steadies herself and grips the headboard, I sit back and gaze up at her. Her gaze is blown with need, with desire.

“I want to… Keep feeling this…” she shivers as I keep guiding her back and forth.

“That’s it, princess. Do what makes you feel good. Take control of me.” I huff as she rolls her hips and grips onto my shoulders. I rest my hands on her waist, she doesn’t need any guidance anymore, just reassurance.

I’m entranced by Alina and how she grinds her hips on top of me. Her hands are pressed at the junction of my chest and shoulders, her fingernails indenting my skin. The look of pure ecstasy on her face engrains itself into my memory, she’s so beautiful when she’s feeling every single ounce of pleasure. I shutter at my building climax but want Alina to feel hers first.

I pull Alina down to kiss me and feel her walls tighten around me. I moan in her mouth, causing her to move faster and grip me tighter. Alina shakes with satisfaction as she grabs my arms, groaning louder and louder in my mouth. I chase this high; it gets closer and closer until we freeze, I hold Alina in my arms as we climax together. I open my eyes and watch her orgasm, relief and satisfaction overtake me knowing I didn’t hurt her. We catch our breath, and she reaches down toward me. Our lips entangle together and I willingly lose myself in her.

"I made love to you, amorcito." Alina whispers. I slide out of her and kiss her cheek.

"Yes, you did,” I nod, "You did so well, darling. How do you feel? Were you comfortable?"

“I feel good… I… I didn’t know I could… Do that,” She shyly admits, “I… loved that.”

I smirk and pulls her in for another kiss, I can’t get enough of her kisses. “My darling, you simply are my perfection. My reverie. I could indulge in you all night. I’ve said it before, you possess an intoxicating beauty… You’re perfect. You deserve every single ounce of pleasure that you felt tonight… And I’ll gladly give it to you whenever you crave it.”

“That… Sounds perfect.” Alina’s body shivers in my embrace. I’ve never been so willing to only focus on a woman’s pleasure before this. Of course, I had no complaints, but all I wanted was to make my wife feel good, to feel desired, that she had the control and not me. Not once have I enslaved myself to a woman and whatever she wanted, Alina really did wield a power of changing me and keeping me in the palm of her hands.

I get her up from bed, guiding her to the bathroom. I quickly slide the condom off, toss it in the garbage and turn my focus back to Alina. I start the shower for Alina to clean up and I prepare new clothes for her. She had the bedsheet wrapped around her still, sleepily smiling at me. I check the temperature of the water and nod to myself, bringing Alina closer to the opening. I gaze at her and she slowly removes the sheet from her body. Alina takes my arm and pulls me in the shower with her, resting me against the wall.

“Stay with me,” she pleads, a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. I push her under the water and it hits her body, my hands cascade her outline. I take her body wash from the shelf and grab a soft cloth.

“I’m right here, princess.” I whisper. I wet the cloth and clean up the mess we made between her legs. She groans under the water and goosebumps arise on her skin at my touch. After I finish, I take another cloth and lather her body wash on it, rubbing her skin with the soap bubbles sliding down her back. I place her under the water and wash the bubbles away, Alina smiles at me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

I nod and hold my wife, sighing. “Anything for you, my princess.”

The next morning was like a fog. Alina woke me with kisses, the sweetest way to wake up. It didn’t take long to get tangled up in each other, which in turn made us late for her sword drills. I didn’t mind, she wanted to make love, so we did. Twice. Seeing Alina let down her guard with me was a victory. I wanted to stay in bed with her all day, but we had to make sure she was ready for anything. Once we got out of bed in the afternoon and got dressed, we went to the training grounds together. I watched Alina confidently take the sword into her hand and smile sweetly at me.

“I think you need a challenge, darling.” I smirk.

“Give me all you got, Crown Prince.” Alina smirks back.

“Let's see what Commander Jongin taught you.” I quickly step forward, but Alina pushes me back with her hand, so I turn and our swords clash. We spar back and forth and her skill impresses me. I shouldn’t be surprised but watching her has me in awe. I have more confidence that she could hold her own if she ever needed to. We keep training and she starts to tire me out.

“Yes, that’s it!” I shout over the clashing of our swords. Alina was getting quite good at her swordsmanship. She was now able to defend and attack much quicker and is light on her feet. She holds the sword over her head and stops me from swinging my blade downward at her. I relieve the pressure and we return to a neutral stance. “Now, don’t lower your guard. Because I can easily…”

I knock her sword out of her hand. Alina scrambles and attempts to retrieve it, but I kick it out of the way. I reach for Alina and pull her in front of me. She gazes back at me, the look in her eye tells me she’s concluding that she’s done for. “Kyungsoo, this is impossible. If this ever happens, I will certainly die!”

“No, you won’t. Remember, study me. Where are my weaknesses?” I order, seriously overtaking my voice. “Look beyond your fear, you are in control of this situation even if your opponent tries to make you believe otherwise.”

Alina nods and the wheels start turning more as she studies me. Suddenly, she reaches down and grips onto my wrist. She turns and pulls me to the ground, my sword clanking onto the ground next to me. My Princess straddles me and holds my hands above my head with an accomplished yet devious smile. With wide eyes I look up at her, clearly entranced at how fast she’s picked up her skills. I also couldn’t help but desire her, loving how she felt on top of me.

“You catch on quick,” I huff, smiling. “We’ll end it here for today. Let’s get dinner.”

“Sounds perfect for such a victory.” Alina grins, sliding off of me and helping me to stand.

I still can’t believe she’s mine.

Alina appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with a curious look on her face. I turn to fully view her and almost drop my knife. Her sun kissed skin was glowing in a light blue dress, the short sleeves hugging off of her shoulders with a lace up chest. The dress fell down to her calves, the bodice showed off her curves in all of the right places. Alina’s hair was loose and flowing down her back in its natural curls… My God. I did my best to hide my physical reaction to her with hot cheeks, looking down and focusing on chopping vegetables while monitoring what’s frying on the stove.

“What are you up to, my dear husband?” She asks sweetly, leaning onto the door frame. I try to focus on anything else other than her right now. Her body. Her voice. I quickly finish the vegetables and plop them into a bowl next to the stove.

“Making us dinner, darling.” I manage to croak out. I look up and Alina is laughing to herself.

“I didn’t think a Crown Prince would like to cook,” She comments, “So it’s true, you’re secretly a chef.”

“It’s no secret.” I laugh. Alina sits across from me at the counter, her chin in the palm of her hands.

“Tell me what got you into cooking. I had heard the rumors, but what is the truth? Did you really sneak into the kitchen as a child and beg the cooking staff to teach you?”

I laugh at this rumor, shaking my head. “That is definitely not how it happened. I was about ten years old. My grandfather was in his garden, picking vegetables. He lived so simply once he handed my father the throne, I enjoyed spending my time with him. He’d said to me, Kyungsoo my boy, come with me to the kitchen. I’m going to teach you another art that the Doh men have passed down for generations. I was curious and wondered what he meant by that. He then spent every weekend showing me how to prepare traditional foods, and most foods from other kingdoms. We did this until he passed away. My fondest memories are with him, and I have him to thank for my cooking passion.”

Alina tilted her head with a smile. “Our grandparents had such an impact on us, didn’t they?”

“They did, yeah.” I agree. Alina gazes at me, her eyes softening when she fixates onto me.

“I only met your grandfather once, when I was five. He was so nice to me. I remember that he gave me candies when my parents weren’t looking.” Alina giggles. “You have his smile.”

“He would have loved you now, princess.” I nod. I lean over the counter and leave a kiss on her forehead, then leave another on her plump lips. I turn back to the stove and finish cooking our meal and turn the stove off, mindlessly making my way to Alina. I hold her close from behind and caress her arms. Alina cuddles close to me and I’m enjoying the closeness we share. I shiver at my darkening thoughts, attempting to regain my composure. Alina turned in my embrace and pecked my lips. “Now go, get settled. Let’s enjoy our time together, darling.”

I watch Alina walk away and focus back on the task at hand. I plate our meal and walk carefully to our living room. I enter into the room with a plate full of carefully crafted Valencian foods that I made by hand. I can tell that the aroma welcomed Alina with nostalgic arms. I carefully put the plate down on the table and sat next to Alina, watching her face light up at the familiar foods in front of her. Beef empanada with freshly chopped lettuce and tomato with lime waft into Alina’s senses, her smile is so big that I know I got my plan just right.

"How did you know this was my favorite, Kyungsoo?" Alina asks with wide eyes. "You made all of this for me?"

"I know a few things. I know Queen Mother made them for you when you were a child." I reply while picking up an empanada. I feed it to my wife, and she sighs with happiness. “How is it, close to Queen Mother’s?”

“Mmm,” Alina nods, swallowing. “She’d kill you if she heard you call her that. She was Beatriz unless she said otherwise.”

“I met her once, and only once. She cared a lot about you, Alina. She was also very terrifying.”

“Abuelita? No way.” Alina giggles. “I need to hear about this. What did you do?”

“Ah, so I had to have done something?” I chuckle, feeding Alina the last half of the empanada. I lean back and start to tell my somewhat terrifying story. “I was nineteen. Queen- Excuse me, Beatriz, came to visit Seoul and to visit with my parents. She didn’t care about anything else but me the entire time she was here. She spent all of her time with me, asking me questions, interrogating me almost. I’ll never forget what she told me to this day. She said although she thought the betrothal was absurd, out of all of her granddaughters, you were the best option for me. That if I didn’t cherish you, protect your heart and love you, she’d kill me or find a way to get me killed.”

“Huh, such good advice and you didn’t follow it until three weeks before our wedding.” Alina giggles, feeding me an empanada. “You obviously weren’t that scared of her.”

“In my defense I was nineteen and stupid. I hadn’t met you yet. I found myself thinking of Beatriz’s words, and she was right. I can’t be cold to you. All I want is to give you the most beautiful memories. I want you to enjoy this life. Enjoy it with me."

“I can do that.” Alina agrees, smiling.

As we eat, I listen to Alina’s stories of Beatriz and her childhood in the Valencia palace. I noticed when Alina was telling a story, she’d use her hands to help her describe something in it. She giggled as she talked, her eyes looked as though she was reliving the memories in her mind. I could get lost in this moment and stay in it forever if it meant that her eyes would be this bright all of the time. She’s adorable when she’s so animated and comfortable like this.

"... And I learned that day that deer weren't pets but woodland creatures that belonged in the forest." Alina chuckles. “When this war is over, I want you to see the Mariposa castle, I have so many fond memories there.”

“I’d love to see it.” I smile, leaning against the couch to gaze at Alina. Suddenly, my phone rings. Annoyed, I take it out of my pocket and read the caller ID. General Junmeyon? He only calls if it’s an emergency. “My apologies, darling. I have to take this.”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’ll be reading in the library if you’d like to join me.” Alina smiles, giving me a quick kiss and heads out of the door. A dread fills fills me. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite place it. I walk into my study and shut the door behind me.

“General, this better be good or…”

“Your Highness, we have a major threat to security to the Crown Princess. King Daniel and the Azteco Military Generals are en route to Seoul for peace talks with King Bonhwa. He did not inform us until this evening. At your word, we’ll get extra military security.” General Junmyeon instructs, my heart drops. Alina can’t even have a happy moment in her life without this asshole trying to ruin it for her. I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

“What the hell is my father doing? Now he wants to involve himself in this war? I accept your advisory. Please detail extra security. Have all maids and personnel out of the wing. No one goes in or out unless approved by me. I want guards and coast guard patrolling 24/7. Send me Lieutenants Jongdae and Sehun. I need my best trained assassins to protect the Crown Princess. Is that understood?” I growl into the phone.

“Yes, Your Highness, right away.” I hang up the phone and pace the room. I have to be calm for her and explain everything so she won’t have a breakdown when she sees Daniel again. What is his motive? Why is he wanting to come here to settle peace talks so quickly? Something isn’t adding up. Is this all a plan to get Alina? Should I hide her? Frustrated, I shove all of the piles of paperwork off of my desk and onto the floor. Why can’t Alina just have a peaceful life? She doesn’t deserve any of this. I groan and leave the study and head to the library. As soon as I walk in, I find Alina asleep on the couch, a book resting on her chest. She must be exhausted from the day, and part of me is relieved she’s asleep. I don’t want to ruin her brief moment of happiness. She doesn’t deserve it. I’ll just have to figure out what to do about this tomorrow.

All I can hope for is that Alina won’t feel like I blindsided her with this.

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rebelyelll · 4 months

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Chapter 8 Author's Notes

Picking up where Chapter 7 left off, our POV changes back to Joliet's. Her artificial brain is in the midst of a full system reboot and processing her past memories from 200 years ago. The chapter carries us through her reboot process while also delivering on her backstory.

It opens on a time when she was very small, and she and her father exchange wholesome dialogue about taking her to the one place she has always wanted to visit. "Name it, and I promise to take you there." Her father's words. But he gets an answer he isn't expecting: "How about the future?"

"The future?"

"Yeah! Uncle Stroheim can build a time machine, and you and me can go to the future together!"

...girllllll, becareful what you wish for...

Joliet's wish was granted. HOWEVER... not in the way she had hoped. You know, it's one of those things you say as a kid, like: "i wish i could fly anywhere i want everyday" and then that thing never happens. In this case, I wanted to make it seem like it came from a place of childhood innocence, but would ultimately become her reality in a way that would not only cement her role in the story, but capitalize on the irony.

As the story unfolds, we learn that Joliet had developed serious conditions due to an unknown illness gradually progressing throughout her childhood. In spite of Kuiper's doctors prescribing her different medications, and upping the dosages as needed, he had come to realize the medicine was ineffective. So, then... what's causing it?

Kuiper Enterprises is basically the Speedwagon Foundation, who has promised to open up jobs to those in need, yet for some reason (and this hasn't been brought up in canon yet so SPOILERS) hasn't delivered on that front much. The poor are still unemployed, more than they were when the Imperial reign of France began, and the previous empire crumbled. Which this chapter falls subsequent to in the chain of events. That is being pushed again and again long after Kuiper is deceased.

Where this was ill-met purely due to financial hurdles in the beginning is now just an empty promise. "Oh, yeah yeah sure we'll get you those jobs", and then they never do. OR worse. They give those jobs to the privileged.

Anyway, Joliet's condition worsens and her father, Jean-Marc, is in the denial phase. This man has seen so much death in his life. Losing Joliet, his only child, not long after he had witnessed his wife pass, is something he can't bear to come to terms with. Joliet's stand is slowly - painfully - killing her. And there's nothing that can be done to reverse/suppress that.

The sickness ties in with the stand's ability. As a human-being, she wouldn't be alive long enough to make good use of it, but after her father pulls a Dr. Tenma, and practically forces Stroheim to allow him to transfer her soul into a robot brain, only then is she fully immune to its side-effects.

To which Jean-Marc proves his point further: with his ability to collect souls of the departed (as long as he/his soul in some form is present at the time of passing), humanity stands a chance at evolving past catching/spreading diseases. Harmful bacteria and viruses that latch onto a living host CAN be a thing of the past if there was a mandatory (though very snakey and vile) way to convince or force people into having their spirits transferred into an android body upon their time of death. Can you say fine print? Because the letters here are so fine they practically DON'T EXIST.

People of the seven nations would be completely oblivious to this conspiracy, though, because of something that I delve deeper into in later chapters. (So stay tuned! THERE'S MORE!!)

Joliet's soul is placed within the confines of a positronic brain. This is a reference to Isaac Asimov's science-fiction, yes. There will be a few things of his referenced throughout the story. For example: Joliet's lifespan is a direct reference to his 1976 novelette, The Bicentennial Man. There are other things I reference from the book, like sentient A.I. fully equipped with positronic brains. Which I will go more in depth with in just a second.

She awakens three years later (which is precisely how long it takes Stroheim to build the mainframe, the body, etc.) and to her, time only feels as though a few hours have passed. Not a few years.

The thing with Jean-Marc putting souls into inanimate objects is that the souls are unaware of how much time has gone by. The only exception to the rule is that the positronic brain allows them to be fully cognitive of their surroundings, and fully be themselves as they normally would in waking life as a person. If the android's body is shut down due to insufficient battery life, the soul is no longer aware of what's going on. Without a conscious link to the outside world, nothing is perceivable, and so, it's as though the soul goes into a state of hibernation.

This is solely the reason why Joliet doesn't suspect that she's no longer a human-being. UNTIL... the scene where her cornea begins scanning objects in her location.

Jean-Marc, Kuiper, and Stroheim gather with her in a living room to discuss and explain exactly what's happened to her. At first, she dismisses the idea that her human body is dead and buried. But as more is brought to light, ineffable feelings start to surface.

As stated by herself in italics, she was willing to accept what had become of her, but over time, realized just how prejudice the world around her was towards her kind. Joliet would remain the same age on the outside, while the people that would come close to her, would grow old. Which brings us to the scene where a man she's known since he was 28 is now turning 43 and is having a crisis. He feels as though he's wasted his time with her, as she can't truly give him what he really wants. A family.

Though this wouldn't be the first time Joliet's gotten her heart broken. There will be more that she herself brings up much later. As a result, she shuts herself off to people. No friendships, no love interests, only acquaintances. The only exception would be her father and Stroheim, as they have already given up their humanity and become androids themselves.

To further explain the prejudice, it is primarily what led to Jean-Marc segregating the rich from the poor. The lower class had been replaced by lesser A.I. (those without a soul, and only a positronic brain). This led to riots, high death counts and crime, destruction to corporate property, and third-party engineers tampering with the A.I.s. This last thing in particular is equally as serious as the former, because if programmed properly, the A.I.s could cause all sorts of mass destruction.

As a prevention, the poor were cast out, and a wall known as Le Cercle de Parfait was built around old Paris. Its expansions becoming what is known as Skid Row 200 years later.

With INN constantly broadcasting the chaos outside the capital's walls, it's no secret to Joliet what life outside old Paris is like. Having faced prejudice for 200 years, she's come to detest the very nature of it. Without knowing it, she generalizes everyone outside the capital as a whole for being abhorrent people due to the backlash in the past. Yet, all that... is about to be challenged.

In Addendum

Kuiper's name was originally Speedwagon, but now that One Way Future (another very good fanwork made by my friend, RabbitKamen) is based within the same universe as Whiplash Riot, I decided to change it. One Way Future features a Speedwagon character who is very vital to the plot, and I didn't feel that it made sense for a Speedwagon to exist 1000 years set in the future lol.

References

The Dead Next Door, the chapter's title, is the name of a Billy Idol song from his Rebel Yell album. I wanted to use it because it made sense given how Joliet is, in all actuality, THE DEAD NEXT DOOR both in terms of living in old Paris, and being deceased.

Jean-Marc's decision to make Joliet an android in order to keep her alive can be viewed as an Astro Boy reference. I was pleasantly surprised when a reader noticed!

Celina is Jean-Marc's deceased wife. Her name is a reference from Celine Dion.

The very last section that talks about A.I.s unpredictability is something I took inspiration from The Bicentennial Man as well.

As far as I know, there are no other references made in this chapter.

#author's notes #whiplash riot

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comradekatara · 3 years

Note

the gaang + how well they would do on the infinity train?

this is suuuper hard because there are so many factors to take into consideration. first is obviously the train itself. the train's function in a metanarrative sense is to serve as a vehicle for storytelling, dissecting & deconstructing the process of a narrative and how a character's arc is propelled by their circumstances. the train supposedly functions to improve its passengers, and yet we also know that The Train is a deeply flawed mechanism that can corrupt and further traumatize its passengers just as much as it can "fix" them. when the train invites you in with the single-minded goal of getting your number to zero, assuming you ever disembark, you're probably gonna be left with even more trauma than when you arrived, or at the very least, weirder trauma.

grace wanted to be seen, but instead of learning to value herself for her own intrinsic worth instead of relying on validation from those around her, she was enabled by that validation and literally started a cult. likewise, since jet is basically a less heinous version of simon, i see him taking a similar path to the apex (though he would of course name them the freedom fighters) trying to overthrow the tyrannical one-one and reinstate the True Conductor. he would think his path is righteous. he would think he is protecting those kids from evil. who knows what would happen once he learns the truth.

then there is the matter of what the train wants from you. the train arrives at a pivotal moment in one's life, when they are at an emotional crossroads and need a catalyst for growth. for example, jesse's problem was relatively small (because he is perfect) but hurting his brother caused him emotional turmoil nonetheless, so the train stepped in. this means that to answer this question properly, i would have to answer not only when the train arrives for them, but why, and seeing that every single atla character carries massive amounts of baggage (most of it flavors of trauma that infinity train has not addressed), this proves extremely difficult. i have to identify the most narratively satisfying moment in each character's lives to have the train arrive, and then i have to make assumptions about which cars would propel them which way (emotionally). you're asking me to outline nine different fanfictions.

only jet's character feels similar enough to any of the characters we've seen in infinity train for me to even have an inkling as to what path he would take. while sokka and tulip are quite similar as people (rational, scientific yet creative thinkers who over-rely on logic over feeling, are deeply loyal, and instinctually blame themselves for the problems caused by others), their character arcs themselves have little in common. both aang and hazel experience a tragic loss of pure, childhood innocence (which is why i cry over both of them every day), but in relatively dissimilar ways (at least appa gets to return to aang). min-gi and zuko are both pressured by their upbringings to conform to a standard that makes them miserable to please their parents, only to ultimately embrace their own passion & truth... but not only do those arcs play out completely differently, zuko and min-gi are completely different people, and if anything, zuko's approach to life is far more like ryan's (ie, jumping off a cliff and hoping he lands on his feet).

but what i think you're really asking, at the end of the day, is how emotionally mature, self-aware, and capable of positive growth is each atla character? because how am i supposed to know what the train would do to their psyches, considering each external situation would shape them differently, and unless i'm supposed to meticulously craft fanfiction for each one of them (which i wouldn't be opposed to doing, but only for one character, i simply cannot do all nine – also, i'm surprised infinity train AUs aren't more common, but then again i'm not particularly familiar with fanficition, so maybe it is!), it would only be an approximation, in which i identify their core problem (which again, is not how real people work, or even how atla characters work, but how The Train works) and then analyze how long it would take for each of them to solve said problem.

so, that was a very long-winded preface. without further ado:

aang's main problem is that he keeps running away from his problems, which is to say, distracting himself from the enormity of his grief. personally, i would say his coping mechanism isn't the worst. after all, he experiences so much world-shattering pain in such a short span of time, and he does deserve to preserve his childhood and his innocence for as long as possible. but, for the purposes of the narrative, the train must necessarily disagree. he must confront his grief head-on, without distracting himself from it or flying into a destructive rage that he'd only regret later. it also depends on who his companions are. with katara by his side, he can get through anything (and vice versa), but it's unclear who will be there to guide him through his pain. that said, i know he'd make it through okay. he's aang. he has to.

katara lives in a fairytale. like i said with aang, that's not really a bad thing. she's a great kid with big dreams and a big heart. she wants to save the world, and – guess what! – she does. but living in a storybook strips one's worldview of the nuances of life, not simply the harsh realities of the world, but also the full extent of one's personhood, outside of simply the black and white worldview of heroes and villains. katara's apotheosis is when she confronts yon rha, looks him in the eyes, and sees a human being staring back at her, another human being. she is no longer in a revenge tale. she is out of stories to tell herself. (life doesn't make narrative sense.) ironically, the train is a metaphor for storytelling, so katara coming to realize that she isn't in a story would both be confusingly meta and also fucking brilliant (if i do say so, personally). i don't know how exactly it would play out, but by god i would pay to see it.

in many ways, sokka is remarkably open-minded, and in many ways, sokka is extremely stubborn. i think he'd come to terms with his own emotional growth (which would be rooted in learning his own self-worth) faster than he'd come to terms with the train itself. "okay, fine, yeah, i deserve love regardless of what i can do for other people, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?!?!?" his journey through the train is actually everyone else's dream experience on the train. passengers and denizens alike keep falling in love with him (or at the very least, admiring him more than they've ever admired anyone they've ever met), but he doesn't even notice because he's too busy being extremely suspicious of everything he comes into contact with. yes, he'll solve your problems and puzzles and help people and make meaningful connections and eventually he might start to realize that he is worth something even when he's alone, even (especially) when he's being unconventional or "weird" or "selfish." but even once he does get his door, does he walk through it? oh no, he takes it apart and tries to figure out how it just created a fucking portal. so while he would technically "do" quite well, he is never leaving that fucking train. rip sokka.

well, toph needs to learn to accept and embrace her own vulnerability. she definitely goes through that same crystal karaoke car tulip did. that, or the train just tortures her by putting her in increasingly more painful situations in which she must ask for help. but that's too awful to even think about, so i'm just gonna say she has to sing karaoke.

zuko needs to learn to trust his instincts and his own internal moral compass instead of the external pressures being forced upon him by his Father (capital F to emphasize that his nation & his father – aka the patriarchy – are one & the same for him, lmao). and he would fail. a lot. but eventually he would realize that his number goes down when he lets himself be himself, and he would leave the train happy. he probably also gets a bunch of cute little talking animal companions to guide him through. he deserves it.

the train appears to suki while she's having a breakdown in solitary confinement at the boiling rock. she finds healthy ways to cope with being put through hell while on the train, and by the time she gets off, she's being let out of solitary. it is a very rewarding experience, and one that she can swear wasn't just some hallucination. she's constantly telling herself yes, of course it was just a hallucination.... but still... it felt so real....

if i had to diagnose azula with one singular problem that plagues her at the core of her very being, it would have to be her fear of rejection. but it's not good enough to just keep having train cars reject azula, she has to accept that rejection, instead of just intimidating people into submission after the fact. she needs to understand why she is being rejected, and be fine with it, and learn from it, instead of letting her lack of universal perfection in every area anyone could ever excel in shake her to her very core. when ty lee proved that she secured the affections of dumb stupid boys better than azula ever could, she did an arson to cope (which of course is still very valid of her uwu). azula needs to learn to come in second place, third place, even last place, and shrug it off, think to herself, "hopefully i'll do better next time, and if not, that's okay also," and once that happens, everything else will fall into place. though maybe she could read bell hooks or smth at some point on the train cuz i think that could help too.

mai needs to stop being so goddamn depressed all the time. has she tried lexapro, or perhaps using a lightbox in winter? her favorite coping mechanism, knives, only helps her feel something some of the time, but most (if not all) of the time she's still being expected to play a part. has she tried, like, being herself? i heard from zuko (you know, the guy? from the train?) that "being yourself" works wonders. so the train gives her that opportunity. and she actually even enjoys herself for once in her miserable fucking life.

omg there must've been some sort of mistake ty lee was totally sent here by accident because she's actually super happy all the time and doesn't have any problems!!!!!!!! jk, can u even imagine? ty lee hates her life too, she just doesn't go around advertising it like mai does with her big dyke boots and depressing eyeliner. but apparently she also needs to learn how to "be herself," whatever that means. as if life isn't a constant performance, you know, like jacques said or whatever. she sees mai on the train. she rolls her big beautiful brown eyes. "oh god, not you too."

#obeetlebeetle #fuck this took me over an hour to write #asks #the gaang and #analysis #AUs #synthesis #mailee infinity train au when.....#sokka is the only one who dies on the train. unfortunate. aunt wu was right once again.#god this question was hard #so many factors to consider #i want the mailee season tho #and i want it NOW!

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Text

Canary, Part 6

First

Tim had been watching her out of the corner of his eyes for a long time. It wasn’t that he was trying to be creepy or anything, he just… didn’t know why she was there. It didn’t make sense. She was relatively low on funds according to what he and Oracle had dredged up, and even Tim in all his billionaire-ness recognized that this place was more expensive than average…

So, why had she come? It wasn’t even close to the motel she was staying at.

The vaguely paranoid -- cautious, he was cautious -- part of him worried that she had somehow known he was there, but there was no way she should have been able to know that. Hell, he hadn’t known he was going to this particular cafe until he’d gotten to work and realized that there were now cameras in the breakroom and his office to make sure he didn’t drink too much.

But, really, it seemed like she was just using the free wifi that the cafe provided to write up a resume.

He relaxed and sunk back in his chair with his laptop while he did his work.

… he didn’t get to work for long.

He picked up on the slight gravel of someone putting on a voice with ease. It was high and sweet, a voice he commonly heard from customer service workers. He chanced a look back at the barista and frowned when he saw her on her phone. Not her, then.

He looked around the tiny coffee shop and cringed a little when he realized what was going on. Shady guy approaches a woman who’s drinking coffee alone? Yeah, that’s never a good thing.

He pushed his laptop into his bag quickly, slung it over his shoulders, put the cap back on his coffee cup so the guy wouldn’t be able to tell that Tim had been there for a while, and rushed over.

He rested his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Hey, bud, she said no.”

Tim watched both of them tense and their gazes were pulled to him in an instant.

Marinette glanced him up and down once. He watched her eyes lock onto his coffee cup for a second and he carefully turned his hand a little so she could see the name.

She smiled. “You’re late, Timmy. Don’t tell me you got caught up in another meeting?”

He shrugged innocently. “You know how it is.” Then, he split into a grin. “Maybe I should be the one that’s upset, though. Can’t believe you didn’t save me a spot.”

“I tried!” She whined. “He insisted!”

The man chuckled awkwardly. “I see. I’m sorry, I thought you were alone.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you I wasn’t. Can you move, though?”

“Actually,” Tim said, because he didn’t want to sit in the window where Duke might happen to see him while on patrols. “There’s a free table back this way.”

Marinette tipped her head to the side a little before nodding. “Sure.”

She closed her laptop with a snap, gathered her things into her bag, and followed him back to his table.

That should have been the end of it. Unfortunately, the guy was still watching them. It looked like they weren’t going to be able to do work for a while if they wanted to keep up the pretense that they were friends.

She seemed to know it, too, because she sighed and rested her head on her hand with a small frown. “Guess we have to talk.”

He huffed. “Don’t have to sound so upset about it.”

“Alright. Fine.”

“Not sounding much more excited.”

She rolled her eyes and then brought a bright smile to her face. “Sure, Timmy, sounds great! Can’t wait to have a super fun conversation with you!”

“... nevermind. That’s weird. Why did that almost convince me? I knew it was fake.”

She let herself lean back in her chair, her face falling back to a slightly smug grin. “I’m Parisian,” she said simply.

Yeah. That made sense. Every Parisian Tim had had the (dis?)pleasure of meeting had had an almost unnerving amount of control over the way they presented their emotions.

He snickered. “Why the hell would you move here, then?”

She rolled her eyes. “Our psychopath was so boring. Like, dude, we get it, your wife died or whatever, that sounds like a you problem. Now, a guy deciding to become a jewel thief purely for the gimmick? Way more interesting.”

“Moral grayness is so twenty years ago,” Tim joked.

“Exactly! Give me dumbasses who are evil purely to be evil and good to be good!”

He grinned. “I can see why you like Harry Potter.”

She blinked.

He motioned to her cup. Scrawled across it in the barista’s messy handwriting was ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’.

She relaxed a little, grinning. “I just finished the books so I’m a bit obsessed. Also, every time I tell them that my name is Marinette they misspell it.”

“Don’t feel too bad, baristas are just like that. Heck, they’ve misspelled my name before.”

“... your name is Tim.”

“They spelled it with a y.”

“... why?”

“Yes. Exactly. A y.”

She giggled a little. “No, I mean why would they do that?”

“Oh. No clue. I hope they were just messing with me.”

The barista was wiping down the tables. It was nearing closing time and Marinette was feeling more and more sorry for the poor workers the longer they stayed. She knew that, when she had used to work at the bakery, she had always especially hated customers that were there around closing time.

Only two tables remained occupied.

She sighed when she glanced over and saw the guy was still there.

Oh well.

She looked over at Tim. “Care to walk me a few blocks in a random direction to see if we can get rid of him?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“‘Certainly’? I may not be super great with American customs yet but even I know that’s weird,” she teased.

He huffed a little. “Listen.”

“I’m listening.”

His nose scrunched. “No, wait, you weren’t supposed to call me out on the fact that I didn’t have an excuse.”

“Oh. Okay, we can try again.”

“Alright.” He cleared his throat. “Listen,” he said again, this time in a tone that mocked the one he’d said it in the first time.

Convenient. She was intent on mocking him, too: “I’m listening.”

“You’re the worst,” he complained.

She laughed. “I am so not. Joker exists.”

“You’re worse than him,” he said in his most serious voice.

She laughed harder. “No one is worse than him.”

He grinned. “I thought you liked people that were evil purely for being evil.”

“But he’s not,” she argued. “The man just decided one day that he liked the weird guy who dressed like a bat and figured that the best way to get that guy’s attention was to murder people.”

“Gotta admit, it works,” said Tim.

She shrugged, grinning. “Yeah, it does. Makes me wonder what would happen if the Big Bad Bat didn’t come, though.”

He tipped his head to the side slightly and then shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. He usually stops it in time.”

“I think he’d freak out.”

“Absolutely.”

She grinned and stretched lazily, head tipping back.

“He’s still following us, isn’t he?” Asked Tim.

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’.

He groaned a little. “Great. Looks like we’re heading to the library.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You go to libraries? You could probably buy every ebook in existence and have a few billion left over.”

“One of my sisters works there, I can ask her to get rid of the guy,” he explained. “But I like libraries. There’s something quaint about them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, it’s nice to see how the common folk live sometimes.”

He returned her eye roll. “Not like that. I spend a lot of time staring at screens, I have a special appreciation for regular old books.”

“That’s nice. I wish I had time to sit down with a physical copy like that.”

“You see, I have this genius strategy for making time: not taking care of myself.”

“Go on, this is intriguing.”

“Well, eating and sleeping, right? Everyone thinks they’re totally necessary things otherwise you’d die or whatever. But, listen, that’s just a hoax made up by the government to perpetuate capitalism.”

She nodded eagerly. “Totally totally totally. What’s your solution?”

“Coffee communism.”

“Yes, you should use your rich boy money to lobby Congress.”

He grinned. “I totally should. But I can’t run it by my family.”

“No way! You never know who's capitalist anymore, they could be plants placed by the sleep industry to ensure that you don’t go through with it.”

He gasped. “No! You think? My own family?!”

She nodded grimly. “It’s always the ones closest to you that betray you.”

And then he broke character, snickering behind his hand. She beamed.

They reached the library and he smiled as he held the door open for her. He asked her to wait while he talked to his sister and she waved him off casually, telling him to take his time.

She pulled out her phone and pressed her lips together thinly as she made a note to head over later that night to give the man -- Henry -- his money. She’d give him a little tip because, for a moment there, she’d almost forgotten that they were just acting. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to purposely trigger herself for the sake of believability but, hey, if she was going to try and dupe one of the smartest businessmen alive into talking to her, she needed to go all out.

Speaking of Tim, she updated the file of Tim’s favorite cafes plus the probabilities of him visiting each one. It was for his oldest brother, Richie Wayne. She didn’t know why Richie was the one to ask for it seeing as he spent most of his time in Bludhaven and therefore likely wouldn’t find much use in it, but no one ever really knew why Richie Wayne did anything. The man famously had almost as much cotton between his ears as his father.

But, Richie Wayne was also just as rich as his father, so… she’d give him his file later that night after checking her math with her favorite graphing calculator.

A redhead in a wheelchair rolled past Marinette and she absently held the door open for her, only to be surprised when she cursed out Henry.

She watched as Henry held his hands up and started backing away from the woman in the wheelchair, and then he ran down the nearest alley.

(… she’d give Henry a bigger tip. The man had just wanted a tiny side job to help pay for his wife and kids that wasn’t being a henchman, he didn’t deserve this.)

She opened the door for the woman on her way back inside and mumbled her thanks. The woman nodded once and continued on her way.

Marinette leaned back against the wall again and scrolled through Twitter as she waited for Tim to reappear. Apparently, Poison Ivy was already back in Arkham. Something about an intern at the botanical gardens watering plants wrong. Wild.

Marinette felt someone sidle up beside her and, after a quick glance confirmed that it was Tim, pocketed her phone.

He smiled at her, a tote bag over his shoulder.

“Did you go grocery shopping while I wasn’t looking, somehow?”

He hesitated before holding it out to her. “It’s the French dubs of the Harry Potter movies.”

She blinked as the bag was thrust into her hands and looked down at it. Yep, that was Harry Potter in French. She also, vaguely, noted the tiny slip of paper his phone number scrawled across it.

She slung the bag over her shoulder.

“I’m never going to return these. You’re going to rack up so much debt.”

~~~

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

~~~~~

Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Canary taglist: @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram @iloontjeboontje

#if i did a kofi would anyone donate #probably not #canary #maribat #timmari #timari #timinette #shutterbug #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #tim drake #red robin

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

Text

On the Other Side of the Fence

Prompt 13: Katniss is “just one of the guys” and the only girl in school who’s never been asked for a date by any of these guys. One day she’s “discovered” by a modeling agency and whisked to the Capital. She returns 3-months later with a new look, new found confidence, and cash. How will Peeta deal with the new Katniss and all the attention she gets from everyone? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Author: @jhsgf82

Rated: T

Word Count: 5,713

Author Note: In-Panem AU, no games. The class distinctions between Seam and Merchant are still there but aren’t quite as prominent, so Seam and Merchant sometimes hang out together; although, some folks do still have prejudices. Also, Mr. Everdeen is alive! So, this became more about the childhood love story between Katniss and Peeta than the modeling, at least this part, but I hope you still enjoy my take on this prompt. This will be a Part 1 of 2, and it will be posted on A03 under my account as well as on the EFE A03 collection page. Edit by @mrspeetamellark. Thank you, thank you! I love the fan casts for older K and P!

P.S. I’ve been listening to Ruelle’s “I Get to Love You” quite a bit while writing this, and it’s giving me major Everlark feels, particularly for this story, so let’s call it the theme song for this fic.

Part I

Peeta’s POV “Wait up, Katniss!” Peeta chased after Katniss as fast as his skinny twelve-year-old legs could carry him.

But Katniss Everdeen was like a bird, free-spirited and not to be caged, and when she set her mind to something, more than likely, she was going to do it.

Peeta loved that about her.

Today, Katniss had gotten it into her pretty head to climb to the top of the apple tree in his backyard. When she’d found out his mother wouldn’t be home, she’d thought it’d be the best time.

They played in secret, for Peeta’s mother had clearly expressed her dislike and distrust of Seam kids, plenty of times. Merchant Circle kids and Seam kids didn’t usually interact, but Peeta had no problem with those from the Seam, and he especially loved being around Katniss. He didn’t see the big deal, honestly. So what if they lived on the outskirts of town? So what if they didn’t have as much money‒Peeta was used to eating stale bread and leftovers, anyway. Not to mention, Katniss and her father’s squirrels had made many a dinner for his family. He wondered if his mother knew where they came from, for it was always his father or him who did the trading.

Peeta didn’t get to see Katniss as often as he would like‒he was almost always stuck at the bakery, and rarely unsupervised‒but times with her were his favorite times. Sometimes they were alone, which he preferred, but other times, they hung out with her small group, consisting of Thom, Gale, and occasionally, her sister, Primrose.

As if his life (or hers) depended on it, Peeta raced to catch up to Katniss. She was already three or four branches up when he made it to the tree. Unfortunately, he was running so fast that he didn’t stop quick enough, and…Thwap! He smacked his head against a low branch.

“Peeta!” gasped Katniss from her perch. “You okay?!”

“Fine!” he called up. He rubbed his forehead, feeling like a complete idiot. It smarted a bit, but his pride was far more wounded.

As if preparing her, Peeta shouted, “I’m coming up!” And then he reached out for the lowest, sturdiest-looking branch he could find. He wasn’t quite sure how this would work. He’d never climbed a tree before, and it looked tough. Katniss was small and nimble, but he was bulkier. He wasn’t completely uncoordinated, but he was much better at lifting things than doing anything requiring agility or balance. Even so, he had to try. And so, he found his footing and pushed himself up.

Turned out, his upper body strength (from lifting sacks of flour) came in handy in getting him up the tree. But there were two problems: One, his footing. And two, the relatively young apple tree wasn’t quite liking his size, and some of the thinner branches were bending under his weight.

“You’re almost there, Peeta,” urged Katniss, and all he could see was her encouraging smile. He reached out to take her hand for a boost but felt his shoe slipping against the bark. And then, his body weight and that thing called gravity were pulling him downward…

“Peeta!” shrieked Katniss as she reached out desperately for his hand.

But in those few seconds, Peeta knew he couldn’t grab hold. Katniss may be strong for her size, but she was tiny, definitely not strong enough to hold him up. If he did grasp her hand, he would surely drag her down with him, and he would never put her in danger.

Peeta dropped to the ground, left foot first, a sharp, white-hot pain shooting up his leg on impact. He groaned and fell flat on his back, his head smacking hard against the ground.

Katniss was down the tree in a heartbeat, kneeling beside him. A bright light silhouetted her; she looked like an angel. Was he dead? Or dying maybe? If so, hers was the last face he wanted to see…

“Peeta! Peeta! Peeta, are you okay?” cried Katniss. She was touching his shoulder and chest only as if she was afraid to go near his leg.

He murmured something and reached out to try and touch her, but his head was spinning and his vision was blurring.

Amidst the excruciating pain and confusion, he heard her muttering, “Oh no, oh no, what do I do?!” And then, she started to cry.

No, no, no. This was no good, at all. He couldn’t deal with Katniss crying. He probably had a broken leg; he didn’t need a broken heart, also.

“Don’t…” He attempted to reach for her again, and this time, he felt her take his hand in both of hers and rest it against her face, her tears wetting it. There was a persistent ringing in his ears, and then he passed out.

While he was unconscious, Peeta dreamed of Katniss‒of the first time they met. They were five years old.

Katniss’s father brought her by the bakery to trade, and while their dads were talking, he played with her. At first, she was shy, only peering out at him from behind her father’s legs, but he managed to convince her to come out.

She wore a red plaid dress, and her hair was in two braids. He’d seen her earlier that day in school‒his father had pointed her out to him and told him how he’d wanted to marry her mother but she’d run off with a coal miner (this coal miner, with the singing voice that made bird’s stop to listen)‒and he’d heard her sing. Her voice was every bit as lovely as they said her father’s was.

Once he got her to come out, they talked a little and ended up chasing one another around the bakery. Of course, his mother wasn’t home that day.

In retrospect, Peeta had been a goner for Katniss from the start, completely mesmerized by her singing voice and her beautiful gray eyes, which he got a closer look at in the bakery. Then there was her smile, which she didn’t give freely, but when she did, it was so worth the wait. She didn’t talk much, but he’d been able to get her to laugh that day in the bakery, and the noise, much like her singing, was music to his ears. Oh, and her braids‒he’d always been really fascinated by her braids.

Before she left the bakery, Peeta couldn’t help leaning forward and smacking his lips against Katniss’s, just to see what it would be like. He’d seen people kiss before, even his parents, though not often. It was weird when his mom and dad did it, but he liked it better than when they yelled at each other.

To his surprise, kissing Katniss wasn’t bad or weird. He liked it. And he wanted to try it again, someday.

After the kiss, Katniss’s cheeks were reddened, and she turned away from him, dashing back behind her father. He was so afraid he’d done the wrong thing and that she’d hate him forever, but when they went to leave, she smiled and waved at him.

Peeta came to with a start, jerking around and whimpering as he clutched at his throbbing leg. He realized he was in his bed, though he didn’t know how he’d gotten there. Also, he wasn’t alone‒Mrs. Everdeen was at his side.

“Peeta, honey, lie still. I have to set your leg,” Katniss’s mother spoke in her soft, doctor-like voice. She was a healer. He assumed Katniss must have gotten a couple of boys or a man, maybe her dad or his, to carry him to his room after his fall.

But where was Katniss? And was his dad here?

Before he could look around for them, Mrs. Everdeen told him she was going to give him some medicine to take away his pain. She injected him with something, morphling, he heard her say, and instantly, he felt his entire body relaxing. He looked over, then, to see Katniss entering his room and approaching his bedside, followed by her father. Her arms were folded, and her forehead was all scrunched up like how it got when she was really worried. Her eyes were puffy, too, and her cheeks were stained with tears; she’d definitely been crying.

Peeta raised his head and tried to smile and say something reassuring. “Kat…it’s…o-” But his words trailed off as a strange, dizzy feeling overtook him, and his head dropped back onto his pillow. Katniss came over and took a seat next to him, slipping her small hand into his.

This is nice, he thought.

But the euphoric feeling was quickly broken by his mother’s loud voice as she barged into his room. Uh oh.

His mother discovering the Everdeens in their home was bad news. She basically hated all the rest of them as much or more than Katniss, especially Katniss’s mother. Maybe it was because his dad used to love her?

“What’s this?! What have you done, you stupid creature?!” his mother screeched at Katniss.

Peeta’s eyes shot to his best friend who immediately dropped his hand. He saw the look on her face; her cheeks had gone reddish, and her eyes were filling with tears, which she was clearly fighting back. She looked scared, upset, and angry.

Just another reason for him to hate his mother.

“Katni…” Peeta tried to say her name, to comfort her, but his words caught in his scratchy throat.

He tried again, but he was cut off.

“Listen here,” Mr. Everdeen’s voice boomed, loud and clear, “you will not speak of my daughter that way! I won’t allow it. My wife has been kind enough to help your son, so show some respect to my family.”

That should shut his mother up, Peeta imagined. Mr. Everdeen might be a friendly, quiet man most of the time, but he could be intimidating. So, Peeta didn’t expect his mother would say another word.

Mr. Everdeen placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Honey, fix up Peeta, then we’ll be on our way,” he said softly.

Peeta’s mother was silent after that; in fact, he thought she might have left the room. But he was in and out of consciousness, and next thing he knew, it was dark, and he was waking up in his bed with only his father beside him.

Groggily, Peeta asked, “Where’s Katniss?”

“She’s at her house, son,” his father replied, tucking his covers nearly up to his chin. “You should get some rest.” And with that, he was left alone in the darkness.

Peeta recalled his brothers stopping in briefly, and then his mother. He imagined she only cared about him being injured because it might hinder his work at the bakery. He was sure she’d still give him plenty to do, though. What did she care if he was in pain doing it?

His mother was mainly condescending, railing on him for being so stupid, which he expected and accepted, but what really made his blood boil was when she set in on Katniss.

“That’s why you don’t play with Seam children,” she chided, casting him a dark look. “They’re wild heathens with no regard for rules or safety.”

They’re kids, Mother‒just like me. They just want to play and have fun. They don’t want anyone to get hurt.

What his mother said next lanced his heart. “I forbid you to see that girl anymore.”

Peeta squeezed his fists beneath the covers. She really cared nothing for him, did she? Of course, if his mother didn’t care that he had a broken leg, why would she care if forbidding him from seeing Katniss ripped his heart out?

But it didn’t matter. There was no way he was going to stop seeing Katniss; nothing his mother, or anyone, could say or do would ever stop him.

Katniss snuck into his room later that night. She must have climbed the tree next to his window and crawled through. She was next to his bed rousing him before he even realized what was happening.

At her touch, Peeta woke. “Katniss, what are you doing here?” he hissed, trying to sit up.

She held out her hand as if to stop him. “I brought these for you, from my mother,” said she, handing him a small package. “Medicine for the pain and a salve for the inflammation. Instructions are inside.”

“Thanks.”

It sounded like the delivery came from her mother, and he didn’t think Katniss would have taken the items on her own without permission‒mainly because she probably wouldn’t have known what to take or what to do‒but he doubted she had permission to be here this late. He glanced at the clock. It was nearly 11 PM.

“Are you okay?” she asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

“Yes.”

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.”

“I’m so sorry.” He could see her eyes glistening in the moonlight. Was she going to cry again?

“It’s not your fault, and hey, it probably earned me some time off at the bakery. So, thanks.”

Most likely, he wouldn’t get any time off, though. Or, if he did, it wouldn’t be much. His mother would probably have him back to work as soon as he could move, but Katniss didn’t need to know that. He tapped her playfully on the nose, and she laughed a little.

“Katniss, thanks for bringing the medicine, but you better go. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Peeta sighed. He didn’t actually want to send her away; he wanted her to stay with him, forever.

Rather than listening to him, though, she did the exact opposite‒she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with him.

Wow. Were wishes being fulfilled tonight?

Okay, so, Peeta had just discovered the absolute best medicine for any of his ailments‒having Katniss Everdeen in his arms.

“Am I hurting your leg?” she asked as she tentatively snuggled in closer.

“Not a bit.” He smiled. “That’s my good leg.”

“You sure? I could move.”

“Don’t you dare move,” he said, wrapping his arms completely around her and holding her in place. He kissed the top of her head. For a moment, he wondered if he shouldn’t have done that. They had only shared that one kiss when they were 5, and it had never been brought up since. She probably didn’t think anything about kissing him, anyway.

“Okay, good,” she said, shutting her eyes and resting her head and a hand on his chest.

He looked down at her. She looked so peaceful and seemed close to falling asleep, but he shouldn’t let that happen. If his mother found Katniss here in the morning, in his bed, they were both toast!

But it was too nice having her here, and he wanted to enjoy it for a little while longer. He took the chance to play with her braid, like he’d always wanted to, and she let him. It had just become his new favorite thing to do. Katniss always wore her hair this way, except for a couple of times when she had it down, and Peeta loved her braid. But he was also kind of curious to run his fingers through her hair while it was down. He imagined it would be so soft and silky.

“Peeta,” he heard her murmur just when he thought she was asleep.

“Yeah?”

“Your mother…she hates me.”

“No.”

“Don’t lie, Peeta.”

“Okay, maybe she does. But, remember, she’s not too fond of me, either.”

Peeta felt Katniss shake her head against him, and he gave a small chuckle. It was so sad, it was funny, in a way.

He looked down into her face; she wore a sad expression. “Heyy,” he soothed, stroking her back lightly. “Hey, Katniss, listen. I don’t care. Don’t give another thought to what my mother said, because it’s not true. Nothing she says means anything to me or matters, at all. You’re wonderful and amazing, and it wasn’t your fault I got hurt, and nothing anyone says or does will ever change the way I fee-think about you.”

How did he feel about her? He didn’t quite know the exact word for it, but whatever it was, it was pretty strong. Like right now, he could feel his heart beating wildly like it was trying to escape his chest. She always made him feel this way, as if his heart might run away or explode into tiny pieces.

Katniss softly sighed. “Okay, Peeta. If you don’t care, I don’t care, either.”

“Good.” He stroked her hair once, twice, three times.

They remained curled up together until just before dawn, and then Katniss slipped away. Right away, he felt the loss. Despite the discomfort in his leg and the fact that he barely slept, for he was either watching Katniss or the clock (in fear they might sleep too long and be discovered), Peeta had never known such a peaceful, wonderful night.

It took nearly two months for the leg to heal, and it did earn him some time off bakery duty, but as expected, his mother had him back to work soon, doing what he could while hobbling around on crutches.

On the bright side, Katniss visited him almost every night, sneaking into his room and into his bed, saying she was checking to make sure he was okay. Peeta got used to having her there, and he enjoyed it, yet he was surprised they were never caught.

Once he was healed, much to Peeta’s disappointment, Katniss stopped coming by; although, it might have had something to do with him suggesting she should stop. He hadn’t wanted her to stop, and he hoped it hadn’t hurt her feelings; he was simply worried they’d be caught and his mother would say more terrible things to her. He didn’t care if she said terrible things to him, but he never wanted Katniss to be called a name again or be made to feel bad, by anyone.

After that, Peeta had to be sneakier about seeing Katniss, and he did see her less. Seemed like, after he healed, his mother gave him extra work at the bakery, in theory, to make up for the time he’d missed. But no matter how much work she gave him or how often she warned him against having anything to do with the ‘little dirtbags’ (one of the kinder nicknames she attributed to the Seam children), nothing‒not even President Snow, himself‒could keep him from Katniss.

He did worry, though, about his mother trying to cause harm to Katniss and her family. She was surely spreading the incident around, making it sound like it was Katniss’s fault‒as if she’d bullied him up that tree then pushed him out or something. She was probably trying to gain sympathy from the townsfolk and hurt the Everdeens’ business, but Peeta assumed everyone would continue to buy Katniss and her father’s game. It was too good. And if not, they would be fine because her dad had his job in the mines.

Even so, Peeta sometimes hated the way things were. Sometimes, he even considered running away from home, off to the Seam or even beyond the fence and into the woods, with Katniss. On the other side of the fence, they could be together everyday and live happily without anyone’s interference.

It was a nice dream.

—–

The next summer, Katniss announced to Peeta that she was going to teach him to swim, and she showed him her father’s lake for the very first time.

“You ready?” she asked excitedly. She was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, he in just shorts.

He stared deep into her eyes, then nodded. “Yes.”

They waded out further into the lake until it was up past his shoulders and came to her chin. She went behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and forget drowning, Peeta thought he would die right then and there, over this.

See, he’d been having…different sorts of feelings about Katniss lately, in the last couple of months… He cared so much for her, as always, but he’d also been thinking more and more about things like: kissing her, touching her, and feeling her pressed against him. He wished she’d sneak into his bed again, but he was also kind of afraid he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself if she did. He knew he would never hurt or mistreat Katniss, but sometimes, it was tough to think straight around her, and sometimes his body seemed to have a mind of its own.

It was frustrating.

Right now, Katniss was hugging him, and it felt nice. No, not hugging–supporting him in the water. But it felt like a hug, and he didn’t get them often, his father being so busy, and his mother, well, not being the hugging type.

Katniss’s hands briefly ran up his stomach, to his chest, and back down. It made Peeta shiver, and his breath hitched. And he had to wonder, did she get the kind of feelings he did, too?

“You okay?” she asked. He could feel her bangs brushing his bare back, tickling his skin a little, but in a way he really liked.

He tried to answer coolly, but it came out as a choked “Y-yes.”

“Okay.” Katniss shifted a little, instructing him to dunk his head and practice holding his breath. “I’ll hold onto you.”

“You won’t let go?” he asked. More so, he wanted the reassurance of having her there, because she emboldened him and made him feel safe, even if she was much smaller than him.

“Never, Peeta,” she assured. He smiled and rested his hands atop hers.

“Okay, I’m ready.” And with that, he dipped his head under the water.

Katniss was a good teacher, even if he was kind of a bumbling idiot when it came to the water. He’d never survive in D4. Not like he’d ever have any reason to go there. But they had fun, swimming around and splashing one another. Peeta even picked her up and tossed her in a couple of times, and she came right back at him, latching onto his shoulders and dunking him or wrapping her legs around his waist and climbing his back.

Peeta got better at staying underwater, and he took to swimming around her and tickling her beneath the waves‒in innocent places, of course, like her feet or her sides. One time, though, the water caused her shirt to billow up and he accidentally slid his hand across the bare skin of her stomach. It was so flat and smooth; it felt nice. For a split second, his hand took over before his mind could have any say in the manner, and he squeezed her side a little. Katniss sucked in a sharp breath and reared back. And instantly, she was throwing out her arms and kicking her legs to put some distance between them.

“Katniss, I’m sorry! Di-did I hurt you?”

She shook her head rapidly, but she could barely look at him.

Again, Peeta apologized while slowly moving toward her.

“It’s okay.” She swallowed. “I’m just…ticklish there.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Things were a little weird after that, and Katniss kind of kept her distance from him, despite Peeta apologizing quite a few more times. She finally told him to just forget about it.

But Peeta didn’t want to forget. He wished he could touch her anytime he felt like it, and that she would want that, too.

After their swimming lesson at the lake, Peeta started having dreams about Katniss, embarrassing ones. More embarrassing, still, was the way his body reacted to the dreams, even in his sleep. It was a bit upsetting, and she would be mortified if she knew. But he couldn’t seem to help himself. And it occurred almost every night. Peeta considered talking to his father about it, but that would be weird, and talking to his older brothers would be even weirder. But they were actually helpful in a way. Hearing them talk, he came to understand that it was normal to feel what he was feeling.

Those feelings continued‒oh, did they continue!‒and Peeta started to notice other girls, too, but none of them left any kind of lasting impression on him as Katniss did.

Was it normal for a boy to be so obsessed with a single girl his entire life?

—–

Eventually, Peeta decided he needed a distraction from Katniss, and so, he joined the wrestling team at 15. His older brother wrestled, and he’d always thought that was pretty neat.

Turned out, he was really good at it, even came in second in the school, only to his brother.

The wrestling built up Peeta’s body and his popularity. Although he’d always been stronger than most boys his age, due to working in the bakery, he developed, growing broader and stronger but remaining lean in the waist. He made more friends, and girls were starting to pay attention to him. Save for one‒the girl he’d noticed all along. Unfortunately, Katniss still treated him like her pal, and even worse, she was spending less time with him and more time with Gale Hawthorne…

Peeta didn’t like it.

But he supposed he couldn’t blame her; between wrestling and the bakery, he’d had next to no time for her.

Or, maybe Katniss was finally figuring out that he didn’t belong in her world. Not because she was a Seam girl and he was from town, but because, he didn’t seem to fit in with her and her friends. For instance, he wasn’t good at the same kinds of things as they were. It didn’t matter to Peeta, but maybe it mattered to her.

Regardless, if she would allow it, he would remain by her side, for always. Whether they were doing something he was good at or not, whether they were going someplace dangerous or unpleasant, no matter what, wherever she went, he wanted to go, too.

But over the next year, things began to shift between them. Peeta’s popularity in school only seemed to push Katniss away, and whenever he tried to remedy the situation, she either ignored him or flat-out made up an excuse. It was a crushing blow each time she did.

One day, a girl asked Peeta to go to the slag heap with her. He knew what that meant, of course, and he actually considered it, if only to give himself the chance to feel something for someone other than Katniss. But in the end, he just couldn’t go through with it, and he told her no. She was pretty, but if her name wasn’t Katniss Everdeen, then Peeta Mellark simply wasn’t interested.

That was the day it hit him‒he loved Katniss Everdeen. No, not just loved her; he was in love with her.

Maybe he should tell her how he felt.

But how could he? She would never reciprocate‒she didn’t think of him that way‒and he didn’t think he could take the rejection. Best to leave things the way they were because having Katniss as his friend was much better than not having her at all…

—–

Katniss’s POV (Age 16)

Several days later…

“So, where’ve you been lately, Peeta?” asked Gale. “Been wondering where the other half of Peetnip’s been.”

“Actually, we prefer Everlark,” said Peeta with a grin.

Katniss hugged her legs to her chest, blushing over the combining of hers and Peeta’s names, even though she knew it didn’t mean anything. Gale was just fooling around, and Peeta was playing along.

“Yeah, so what gives?” barked Gale. “You too good to hang out with us all of a sudden?”

“No, not at all, I-” Peeta glanced over at her. “I’ve just been really busy with wrestling.”

And his new friends…

And that girl…

Katniss was sure she wasn’t coming close to hiding the disdain on her face. Of course, she’d heard about that pretty girl asking Peeta to the slag heap. And it had hurt way more than it should have; she’d actually felt like a part of her died inside that day.

Katniss wasn’t sure why, but lately, she’d been thinking about Peeta a lot. About old times. When he fell out of the tree; when they slept in the same bed; that summer at the lake…

How had things changed so much between them, and somehow, not at all? Part of Katniss wanted so badly for things to always stay the same, but another part of her kind of wished that things could be…different between Peeta and her.

She shook off her thoughts and turned her attention back on Gale.

He was looking as skeptical as her over Peeta’s excuse. Not for the same reason, probably. It was because Peeta was a merchant’s son. And that meant Gale was always paranoid that Peeta was only pretending to be their friend for some ulterior motive not yet revealed, or that he’d ditch them all at the first opportunity. Honestly, Katniss was surprised Gale had even accepted Peeta into their circle in the first place. But, as with her (and everyone), it had taken him some time.

“Seriously, man, it takes up almost all of my free time. And then there’s my…” Peeta stopped short.

“Your mother,” Gale finished for him.

“Yeah.” Peeta looked to Katniss then, probably because he knew it was a sore subject for her. Katniss glanced away.

Peeta’s mother. As much as Katniss disliked her, Peeta still seemed to care about what she thought, even if he said he didn’t.

Not that she could blame him. Angering his mother was dangerous, and she wanted him to be safe. Simply associating with her, as Peeta was doing now, could earn him a beating. And Katniss felt constant guilt over it. He shouldn’t be here now; she should tell him to stop coming, once and for all. But she just…

“Katniss, who’s that man leering at you?” Gale’s voice broke Katniss’s train of thought.

“Leering?” She blinked several times in succession. No guys ‘leered’ at her. Guys barely even knew she existed, aside from her small group‒and they didn’t exactly think of her as a ‘girl.’ She was just one of the guys; she’d never even been asked on a date. Not that she’d want to go on one…except maybe with…

Shaking off the ridiculous notion, Katniss shielded her eyes from the sun and looked over. Gale was right; the man was actually staring at her. He was an older man, wearing dark, fancy clothing and gold eyeshadow. He definitely wasn’t from around here.

“I don’t know.” Katniss shrugged. “Never seen him before in my life. And he’s not leering.”

“Nah, I think he is,” Gale smirked. “He’s looking pretty hard at you, Catnip.”

Katniss’s cheeks flushed. It felt so strange and uncomfortable having a man, any man, look at her that way as if he was evaluating her…

“Well, all I know is, he can’t be from District 12,” remarked Gale. “Look at those fancy clothes.”

Her old hunting partner had read her mind, and instinctively, Katniss looked back at Peeta for his take on the matter. Peeta didn’t even seem to notice her; he was focused on the man, and he seemed none too happy about the situation.

The man with the gold eyeshadow came over then, and he introduced himself to Katniss. His name was Cinna, and he was from the Capitol.

The Capitol. What could a man from the Capitol possibly want with her?

“I’m sorry to stare, but let me explain,” said Cinna. “I’m a stylist in the Capitol, and I’ve been searching for the perfect girl to model a new line of clothing I’m designing.”

Yeah? And what does that have to do with me?

He was going to have to spell this one out for her.

“I think you’re it.” At his words, Katniss’s eyes widened. She glanced back at her group, the entire lot seeming as thunderstruck as her. “Miss…?” He extended his hand.

“Katniss Everdeen.” She accepted his hand and shook it.

“Katniss, what a lovely name. May I call you Katniss?”

Numbly, she nodded.

“Well, Katniss, you’re just what I’ve been looking for. That skin, those eyes…I could do wonders with your unique look.”

Katniss blinked several times, opening her mouth and closing it like a fish out of water.

“No offense,” she finally managed to say, “but I think you have the wrong girl. As you can see,” she motioned in presentation of her dirty clothing and disheveled hair, “I’m no model.”

Cinna grinned. “Not yet, you aren’t, but that’s where I come in.”

Katniss couldn’t understand it. What was this man thinking? People from the Capitol were known for their exotic tastes, but this was a bit much. So what if he thought she had nice skin and eyes? Couldn’t he find plenty of other girls with far better skin (that wasn’t caked in dirt and the faintest hint of coal dust) and with much more alluring eyes. A unique look? Well, the Capitol was full of people like that, wasn’t it?

“There must be better choices than me in the Capitol,” she spoke her thoughts aloud.

“Yes, well, I want a girl who’s real,” explained Cinna. “An ordinary girl. One of the people. From the districts, not some fashion icon from the Capitol. I’ve worked with plenty of those, and they’ve left me…wanting.”

Katniss stared blankly at the man before her.

“Just think about, Katniss,” he said, taking her hand and patting it gently. “It would only be for about three months, and it would pay a lot of money.”

Money? Her eyes lit up at the magic word. Now that the mine was temporarily shut down after that accident, her family could certainly use the money, but a model?! She couldn’t be a model. And the thought of leaving behind her family and Peeta…well, she didn’t like it one bit.

Katniss glanced back at her blue-eyed boy with the bread, who seemed perturbed and maybe a little sad. Their eyes met, and pleadingly, she stared into his, hoping for a silent answer. What do I do?

#jhsgf82 #567inpanem #prompt 13 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

150 notes · View notes

damnzawa · 3 years

Note

Hi there! I just found your account and I love you writing! I was wondering if you could do a bakugou x reader fantasy au? Where prince bakugou goes to a small village in his kingdom for a pit stop while on a quest but meets the reader who's a poor butcher's daughter that doesn't know who he is and doesn't really care either but really wants to go on a quest and begs him to let her travel with him in exchange for being a chef. Thank you so much!!💞💕💗 ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾┌(★ｏ☆)┘

ANNOYING — B. KATSUKI

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry if this took a long time to be published! I went off tumblr for a while due to personal issues but now I'm back! Hope you like this!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED (for now)

WARNINGS: Language LMAO but its Bakugo so what do we expect. Also this is not beta read!

WORD COUNT: 1955

Not everyday you have the privilage to meet the prince. The heir to the kingdom's throne. The second most respected man in the whole entire kingdom.

And not everyday you get to mistake him as a thief either.

Not that you care about his title, really. You believe that all men are created equal, regardless of their social standings, heirarchy and whatnot. Thus, you didn't really care about the prince and the royal family that much to ever know about them. Not even their faces, nor names.

So, it wasn't a surprise that it will cause you your possible demise.

You see, the day started nice. You went out to do some deliveries, met some nice people on the road who bought half of the meat your father had cut, and to top it all off the farmer was kind enough to give you extra rootcrops as a sign of gratitude to you and your father. It was a great day all in all. Until, the knights came.

Along with the explosive prince.

Murmurs began to start as you headed back to your father's stall in the market after a long day of delivery work. Even though you didn't mean to eavesdrop — it was kind of hard not to, considering how their volumes were — you caught the words: arrogant, self-centered, short-tempered. And later you found out those words described the prince.

"He must be a nincompoop then. To get such a reputation from the people in town, he must have done some... questionable things." You said to yourself. Too engrosed in your thoughts, you bumped into a red-headed knight. You bowed immediately while apologizing then excused yourself, you didn't really want to interact with knights today. All you wanted to do was cook a hearty meal for your stubborn father, read a book by the fireplace after a bath, and relax.

But all those plans seem to be quickly washed away when you saw an ash blond quietly steal from your father. You were gonna let it slide, thinking that maybe it was for a good cause.

That is until you realized, the man stole a prime cut.

As if a switch was flicked, you quickly ran towards the direction the man headed to. Spotting him from afar, you ran as fast as you can and knocked the man into the ground, shocking the people around you.

"Give it back." You sternly commanded the man. "Give back the meat you stole from my father."

The man scoffed at your 'accusations' and tried to wiggle his way free but your entire weight placed on top of his back made it hard to do so. "Let me fucking go. I have no idea what the actual fuck you are accusing me of."

"Oh shut it. I saw you with my own two eyes and I am very much sure that their vision is not impaired yet." His futile attempts at escaping now stopped as he tilted his head to see the scoundrel who had the audacity to knock him down and embarrass him infront of townspeople.

Of course it had to be a girl.

"Are you one of my admirers to go such lengths as accusing me of stealing from a commoner?" That comment made your eye twitch because first, you are certainly not an admirer of this prick. Two, you don't even know the guy! Three, who would admire this piece of work? And lastly, your father might be a 'commoner' but he's the best 'commoner' you could ever find! There wouldn't be a slab of ribs or a fine piece of steak on your plates if it weren't for him! And the way this asshole said 'commoner' with such distaste too! What a prick! Who the hell does he think he is?

"My prince!" The same red-headed knight you bumped into earlier shouted from afar. Your eyes widened for a second before turning back to the asshole beneath you who now has a smug grin on his face.

"Miss! Are you alright?" The knight asked while helping you get up. "Did the prince cause you any disturbances? Any problems?" It was your turn to plaster on a smug grin on your face. You saw his own falter which you made you more smug than before.

"Why yes actually, the prince caused me a slight inconvenience." The red-head sighed, taking a quick glance at the prince beside him — who couldn't stand due to pain. "The prince stole a priceless little thing from my father's stall earlier and I'd like for him to return it or better yet, pay for it." The prince was about to retort but the red-head beat him to it.

"I deeply apologize for the prince's action, miss. If it would make you happy and satisfied, I will pay for the items he stole. I will also ask for forgiveness on his behalf." Angry noises came from the prince's (beast) mouth as the red-headed knight did exactly what he told making you raise an eyebrow.

"Why are you doing it for him? Can't he do it himself?" It was amazing to see a knight easily convinced to do something a mere 'commoner' like you demanded, but you concluded that this red-headed fellow wasn't an ordinary knight. He seemed like the type that's fed up with the prince's antics, thus his demeanor towards people is filled with empathy and the usual knightly courage. But your words made him halt, and look at you as if you were from some otherworldly land.

You caught the knight mutter about something manly before the prince interrupted. "Hah?! I'm not gonna apologize to someone lower than me! You extra!" The knight sweat-dropped at the prince's words while you looked at him blankly. Wow, the rumors are true, he is an asshole.

"Well, Your Highness, this extra happened to be the one who cared for the rib who used to be a part of the cow that you stole just now. So, apologize and pay up. I don't care if you're the prince or not. Thievery is a crime, and you just committed it." The crowd begin to whisper, making the prince's eye twitch.

"Fine, you annoying extra! Give her whatever the fuck she wants!" And with that the prince stormed off. Leaving you and the red-haired knight behind. The crowd began to disperse, seeing as the scene just concluded and that the man of the hour was gone.

The knight turned to you once again and bowed. "I'm deeply sorry for my prince's actions. As he caused such an inconvenience and refuses to be accountable for his actions, I shall ensure to provide whatever compensation you need or want — within reason of course." Before you can respond, he introduces himself with a grin. "Ah! How silly of me! Chivalric knight, Kirishima Eijirou at your service."

"I appreciate your efforts, Sir Kirishima, but I just need the payment for the stolen goods." You replied with a smile, but soon your smile faltered. You had wanted to be a chef for so long and travel unknown lands to discover cuisine and cooking techniques you've never heard of before. Perhaps... is this the right time to do it?

You bit your lip as you contemplated. Should you grab this opportunity and run with it?

Seeing your hesitancy, Kirishima waited for your answer. "Actually... I have a request... I was wondering if it's possible?"

"I'm all ears, Miss."

...

"What is this extra doing here?!" Prince Bakugo exclaimed as he saw your annoying little face within his traveling party. Kirishima sighed as he explained the situation. You would join his party as a chef until you reach the capital where you will be training to be a chef under the great Lunch Rush. Bakugo was about to object when Kirishima shot him a look.

"Fine. But I'm not eating garbage cooked by a commoner!" You rolled your eyes at his demeanor. Are all royals like this?

As if reading your mind, Kirishima responds. "Don't worry. King Masaru and Queen Mitsuki are quite modest and kind."

"Then what happened to him?" You pointed to Bakugo.

"I heard that, you extra!" Fowl language followed that statement making the traveling party sigh. Oh boy, this is gonna be a painful journey.

After that, you said your goodbyes to your father, who was very emotional about the turn of events. "Be good and be brave, my sweet child. And ask for forgiveness from His Highness." Your brows were scrunched in confusion.

"Why must I do that? He was clearly in the wrong!"

"Ah... that slab of meat was a present from me to him. He once helped me round up the cows when his traveling party went by our house yesterday. The slab of priceless meat was a token of appreciation for his kind gesture. So, do apologize for your actions, ok?" The information you just heard astounded you, making you speechless. Guilt pooled in your stomach as you promised your father that you will apologize to the prince. And with a final promise of coming home as a renowned chef, you parted ways.

The journey started rough. The prince refused to eat anything you made at all. His stubbornness knows no bounds and his overall demeanor towards you was not pleasant, which you understood as the scene you caused was a total misunderstanding on your part. The only upside was the traveling party greatly enjoyed your meals, and some even gave you recipes from different places and suggestions of destinations that you'll surely enjoy to explore! Overall, it went smoothly.

That is, until the prince became sick.

The doctors in your traveling party asked you to concoct different meals suited to His Highness, You had to stop at a village in order to ensure Prince Bakugo's speedy recovery. And one day, you were assigned to deliver his meals to him personally.

"Prince Bakugo?" You knocked on the door, and as expected, not a response came from the prince. You sighed and slowly opened the door, cautiously stepping in so you won't wake Bakugo up or spill the contents of the bowl you held.

"Go away, you extra." He grumbled, but his rough voice was replaced with a weak ome due to his illness.

"Look, I know you won't eat my meals but you need to eat. You can't recover from this if your body doesn't have the nutrients it needs to fight back this illness." You huffed. "And... besides, consider this as my way of making up to you."

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"My father told me about it. I'm sorry for mistaking you for a thief. I tried to apologize to you on several occasions but you angrily push me away every time I do. So, I figured this might be the right timing since you know... you aren't your usual aggressive self." You scratched your nape in embarrassment. "Besides, if there's something I learned while traveling with you is that you're a big softie inside. You might act rough and is shard on the edges, you're actually kind-hearted and caring. Uh... anyways. Please make sure to eat your meal, Prince Bakugo."

Before you can exit the room, you heard him say, "Annoying extra." But the usual hostility behind those words wasn't there. You might just be assuming it or imagining it, but those words almost sounded... fond.

With a shake of your head, you left the room.

Later that day, you found the bowl to be empty and outside of his room. Along with it was a note that read, "Don't fucking tell me what to do, you annoying extra."

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki/reader #bakugo katsuki x you #bakugo x you #bakugo x reader #kirishima eijiro/reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #bakugo/reader #kirishima/reader #im writing again yey

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