i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.
essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.
so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
60 notes
·
View notes
Boyfriend
CW: College AU; Unreliable narrator/reader; Delusional reader/Nobunaga; Unhealthy relationship; Lovesick reader; Insecurities (Reader); Possessive; Ignoring multiple red flags; Sexual content towards the end (Grinding, Messy Kisses)
Summary: You’re hesitant to ask Nobunaga on a date due to not wanting to destroy your friendship with him. He has other views on the subject at hand.
Word Count: 2,094
Note from Knux: I just wanted to say that I was very inspired by this fic from @uvobreakmylegs (they have the best writing PLEASE-). But, seriously wanted to give credit where credit is due though!
You leaned against Nobunaga’s side, his steady breathing helping to distract you from your nerves. It was so silly how nervous you were; it was just a date after all- well, it would be a date if he accepted. The words seemed to die in your throat, turning into a hard lump that made it hard to breathe, every time you tried to ask the simple question: do you want to go on a date with me?
Honestly, those words weren’t daunting at all and it was frustrating that you’ve never had any issues asking before. You were used to making the first moves on people you liked- sure, you haven’t done it since high school, but that’s besides the point. The point now is that you felt like you were drowning in your own emotions because you could spit out the damn phrase.
You glanced up at Nobunaga, taking in his face: angular, lips drawn into a thin line and his dark eyes focusing hard on the text in front of him. It was funny to you how you had convinced him to join you on this little study date- it made you feel fuzzy inside. Though, you had finished your studies and were simply keeping him company now. Which, you didn’t mind. If it meant that you got to hang around the silly athlete, the better it was.
You sighed, nestling closer to him, allowing your eyes to slip shut as you snuggled deeper into the blanket you wrapped yourself in.
“Hmm, getting bored?” Nobunaga’s voice said, startingling you out of your dozing.
“Maybe,” you murmured against him, pressing your face further into his arm as you let your eyes slip close again, “but I don’t really mind if I get to sit with you.”
He snorted. “You sap. You sound like you really like me.”
“Well, yeah.” You quickly added: “we’re friends after all.”
He went silent and you couldn’t help the way your stomach started to churn with a strange sort of anxiety. A frown tugged at your lips, peaking one eye open to glance up at him. He seemed irritated as he glared at the book in front of him.
You slumped against him once again, both eyes open now, as you thought of how you (or what) had upset him. Nobunaga had a bit of a hairline trigger with his frustrations occasionally- you sometimes felt like you were walking a tightrope with him, but you didn’t really mind. It was just how Nobu was. Your silly friend who was sweet and always took care of you. Before him there was only you.
A small smile pulled at your lips. How did you ever make it without him?
“Ah, fuck- this thing is boring!” Nobunaga finally declared, slamming the book shut.
You couldn’t help but giggle despite how he jostled you around when he crossed his arms and pressed himself back into the worn (but comfortable) couch in your living room. “How about you take a break, I’ll make some tea, that sound good?”
He grunted, sulking into the cushions while you unwrapped yourself and laying the fluffy blanket on his chest and tucking it behind his shoulders after you got up. He had grumbled but let you continue with your antics. You laughed as you went to the small kitchen in the apartment- nothing too fancy, just big enough for the fridge, a sink, an oven, and a little bit of counter space for a microwave and the odd times you wanted to bake.
You reached into the cabinet right above what little counter space you had and pulled out two mugs. They were cute: a sleepy gray cat face and an overly excited white and tan puppy face for the other- they were round and the little cat reminded you too much of Nobunaga not to get. Though he had also insisted that he’d get the puppy one for you if you were getting the “damn cat” for him.
You traced over the smooth porcelain with the tip of your finger. Maybe… maybe you could just let things be. Let them snowball into dating all on their own. At least, that’s how you hoped that they were going to snowball. The worries began to pile up as you got to work making the drinks.
Nobunaga was a handsome guy with his angular features, fit form, and his glossy hair. The only downside to him was probably how radically his emotions could go from one end of the spectrum to the other but that was easily avoidable (at least you thought it was, there were several people who dined to disagree but you simply assured yourself that it was because of something they did. Not Nobu. Never Nobu). He could have any person in the world that he wanted if he really wanted- what was stopping him from pursuing someone prettier, more charismatic, more successful than you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
There was a level of anxiety that shook in your fingers as you had finished Nobu’s and your tea, stirring honey in the calming herbal mix.
You took a deep breath, trying to gather your wits. Your mind was wondering again. You need to stop before Nobu thinks something’s wrong because you won’t be able to control your tongue if he does.
You nod to yourself before going to pick up the two mugs just to stop as a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist and a sharp chin rests against the junction of your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Fuck.
“Nothing- nothing’s wrong.”
“Now, now,” he started to lean his whole body weight against you, causing you to catch yourself on the counter. “ Lying ain’t a good look for you and we both know it.”
There was a certain edge to his voice that made your blood freeze. You had only heard it once or twice, just towards guys who didn’t know when to quit hounding and couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Never at you.
You licked your lips, squeezing your eyes shut as you willed your knees not to shake. “I-I’m not lying, Nobu-”
He shifted his feet, pressing himself even harder against your back, like he was trying to become a second skin. “Lying doesn’t look good on you.” He repeated, squeezing his arms around your stomach. Hard.
You wheezed, hands scrambling to hold onto his arms. Though, you made no attempt to pull him off. It was so fucked up how you were relishing in how close he was despite how angry he was at you. You just wanted to be held by him- be close to him- you wanted to be as important to him as he was to you. You just wanted to melt into him.
What a horrible friend you were.
Your chest burned like you had ran a marathon and suddenly the world was spinning and your eyes were stinging with tears that rested heavy on your lashes. How pathetic.
Hearing a sniffle come from you, something seemed to snap Nobunaga out of his frustrations. “Hey, you ok?” He began to loosen his hold on you, muscles relaxing until your shaking hands squeezed his wrists.
“No…” You whimpered, “no, please- please don’t let go.”
You sounded so weak and frail. It made Nobunaga’s heart leap to his throat. He squeezed his arms around you again, much more gently compared to a few moments ago, but enough for you to know he had no intentions of leaving.
It was a couple of moments until you stopped shaking. By this point, you were leaning back against him, hands still resting on his as he held you. His face nestled against your neck. “You feelin’ ok to talk?”
He wasn’t letting this go, was he? You took a deep breath, releasing it as you nodded against the side of his head.
He pulled away from you slowly until his face was level with your peripheral. His eyes were dark and observant. “What’s wrong?”
Your throat felt tight again, but you still forced yourself to talk. “I- you- what… would you…” you lick your lips. “Would you date me? If I asked you out?” Your hands were sweating and you looked away, instead, focusing on the smooth skin of his arms, running your fingers over the sparse hairs.
When he didn’t answer you began to shift, uncomfortable on your feet. Your skin feeling like it was boiling. This was stupid. You were stupid. You just ruined your friendship with Nobunaga. You’d never be able to see him again- you’d just have to sit like some stranger while he moved on with someone that was on his level- someone who was prettier, more talented- better than you. He was going to leave you behind and take your bleeding heart with him-
“I don’t get it.” You felt a sudden dread rest deep in your chest. He sounded mad. “Why do you always talk like that? Like we aren’t dating already?”
Huh?
Before you can voice anything, his hands come slamming on your counter, once again caging you. You can see the veins pulse on the side of his temple, frown deep as he seethes: “you think I act like this with everyone? Think that I get like this-” one of his hands glides down your spine, a gasp leaving you as when he grabs your ass in a tight grip and presses your hips hard against his. You gape. He’s hard. He’s so, so hard- “with everyone?” He begins to grind against you, hot breath moist against your cheeks as he huffs in frustration. Your hands scramble to hold onto his shirt, head spinning with too many things at once. “I only get this fucking hard with you- it fucking- oh, fuck- do you know how hard it is not to grab you and shove you face first into the closest surface I can? Not to rip you apart? You’re like- like a damn lamb: dumb and oblivious to everything around you-” he grunts when you hike your leg up on his hip (or try to, it’s a bit of an awkward endeavor considering how close he’s pressed against you).
You’re desperate. You want more of his demeaning words. You want more and more of his attention. You want him to sink his teeth into you and rip you apart. Your blood boiling with white, hot want. “‘M sorry-” you gasp as you begin to rock your hips back against his; sloppy and uncoordinated. “‘M sorry, I didn’t notice. I was-” a moan wretches out of your throat. You crane your head back, the expanse of your neck presented to Nobu, who wastes no time pressing wet, open mouthed kisses against your salty skin. “You’re just so beautiful, there was no way you’d want to go out with someone like me-”
A growl comes from deep within his throat. His hands have come to dig into your hips, guiding you to grind harder against him. “You're so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid- you’re mine. Mine. No one gets to see you like this.” He crushes his lips against yours. The kiss is all teeth and tongue- a mess of passion and repressed frustrations.
You couldn’t get enough.
“‘M yours. ‘M yours-” you chant against his mouth, head spinning, close to the precipice of an orgasm. Teetering on a precarious line that, whichever way you end up tipping, you’ll be drowning in the euphoria of having Nobunaga suffocating you in his affections.
He lets out a loud moan, all guttural and masculine, it has your legs trembling. He uses one hand to squeeze your cheeks, swirling his tongue with yours in a sloppy french kiss that has drool dripping from the corners of your mouth. “You’ve been mine since I laid eyes on you.” He pants, his forehead resting against yours, his hips coming to a stop. You whine at the loss of friction, the leg that is still hooked over his hip trembling with leftover electricity. He chuckles, pressing pecks to your lips. “I’m not letting you go.” You envy how even his voice despite having humped you like a dog in heat only a moment ago.
You nod, not trusting your voice. You would give him anything he asked for. Whatever to keep him near you.
So, you follow him, with your heartbeat pulsing in your ears, as he pulls on your wrists towards the couch, tearing your clothes from your body. You accept that he’s going to tear you apart with open arms.
270 notes
·
View notes