#amanda rollins x you

[kayyybenson]

Desk Duty - Sonny Carisi

    I sat at my desk, eating out of a family-sized smart food popcorn bag that Sonny had brought me. It seemed to be the only thing that calmed my pregnancy cravings, that and Soda, any kind, matter of fact, I'll drink whatever is put in front of me. "Y/N, no one is going to steal your popcorn." Amanda joked, causing me to send her a sharp glare. "Okay, point taken, my bad." 

    "I'd rather be on bed rest than be stuck at this stupid uncomfortable desk." I groaned, throwing the empty bag in the trash. I slowly stood up and waddled to the vending machine to raid it. When it didn't give me what I wanted I violently shook it and kicked it. "Fucking machine!"

    "Woah," A familiar voice spoke. "Doll, you should sit down, I'll order you takeout." 

   "NO! I want junk food!" 

    "You need to eat balanced meals so the baby is healthy." I swiftly turned to him, I had no idea where this anger was coming from.

    "Sonny, you have five seconds to get me my bag of sour patch kids before I break down." There was a moment of silence. "Pleasssseeee." I drawled out, trying to guilt-trip him.

    "Carisi, get the girl her sour patch kids before she sets this place on fire." Fin encouraged my childish behavior.

    "Doll, you can get your sour patch kids after you eat some actual food, you've been up since 5 am and all you've eaten is popcorn and some old candy you found in our kitchen." I groaned, letting him drag me back to my desk. He placed a whole pile of takeout menus in front of me, "Pick one," I giggled and lifted up a menu that said 'The restaurant'. "Okay, jokester, what do you want?"

    "Mhhh, the baby says a salad and ketchup." He nodded and picked up the phone to order.

    "I'm glad I'm not the pregnant one," Barba joked, "I'd throw up if I ate that stuff."

    "I do throw up. Morning sickness."

    "I was like that when I was pregnant with Jessie. Fin thought I had cancer." Upon hearing his name Fin looked up and his jaw dropped.

    "Hey, Yo!" I let out a laugh and finished my last sheet of paperwork. Sonny sat the salad on my desk and I immediately started inhaling it. 

    "She does this at home too. It's to the point where I have to make two meals so she can eat the whole thing." Sonny chuckled. "She ate a whole pan of lasagna last night."

    "Guys, we have a homicide, Amanda you stay with Y/N." Olivia walked out of her office, jacket in hand.

    "Oh come on! I can't ride with you?" 

    "No, it's called desk duty for a reason." 

    "Sonny!" I turned to my husband in hopes he would at least let me out of there.

    "Rules are rules." He kissed my forehead. "I'll see you when I get back." I crossed my arms.

    "Check your breaks before you leave the lot," I mumbled, just trying to scare him. He stared at me before slowly backing up.

------ DUN DUN ------

    Amanda and I were playing card games, trying to pass the time. "Go fish," I mumbled as she groaned and picked up a card. I felt water rush down my leg and splash onto the ground, I brought my legs closer together to hide the mess. "I think I just peed myself." 

    "Y/N you're in labor!" She moved to grab both of our purses and led me to the car. "I need you to breath." She turned the siren on and started to speed. I let out a pained groan and she reassured me that I'd be okay.

    "Call Sonny!"

--- Meanwhile with Sonny:

    "Liv, I don't think that's such a good idea." Fin tried to stop the captain from talking to the victim's mother, while I was consoling the father. My phone rang, I ignored it the first two times but answered the third, annoyed.

    "What do you need Amanda, I'm busy."

    "Too busy to know that your wife is in labor?" I could feel the anger radiating off of her. 

    "Excuse me?" 

    "Sonny I'm in labor!" Y/N Now yelled. "The baby is coming and she's coming now!" 

    "Oh god, we'll be at Mercy Hospital, hurry, I think she's cutting off circulation to my hand!" The line went dead.

    "Guys, I have to go. Y/N is in labor, she might kill Amanda if I'm not there soon." 

    "Go, we'll take it from here and meet you there." I started my car and drove to the hospital.

---- Back to Y/N and Amanda:

    I screamed as the contractions got worse. "Just take the damn thing out!"

    "I'm sorry ma'am we can't just yet."

    "Amanda where is my husband!" 

    "I'm here doll." Sonny ran into the room and grabbed my hand. "You're doing great baby." 

    "I want it out!" I yelled again. "Ahhhh!" I screamed once again though this time it was very high-pitched.

    "It's coming, push Mrs. Carisi!" I pushed over and over again until I heard crying. "Mr. Carisi, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" 

    "Go on." I smiled at him. He rubbed a hand along the side of my face before he went to cut the cord. Once it was tied off and she was cleaned up they handed her to me, I sat up and held her close. 

    "She has your eyes." I turned to Sonny, who was crying. 

    "And your nose. She's perfect, little Serenity Carisi." After a while, the rest of the group showed up and swooned over the baby.

    "Guys, this is Serenity, Serenity, these are your aunts and uncles." I introduced them.

    "Oh wow, she's beautiful." Amanda praised. "Hi, Serenity. She's a mini Y/N."

    "Yeah, but she has Carisi's baby blues." Fin pointed out.

    "We did good," Sonny jokes around, earning a slap on the arm from Liv.

#law and order svu #svu #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #sonny carisi x reader #Sonny Carisi #Sonny Carisi x you

[cathrrrine]

amanda: what are you planning on doing this weekend?

y/n: not much, you

fin: i think you mean “not much, you?”

y/n: no i meant what i said

amanda: she meant what she said, fin

#incorrect svu quotes #law and order svu imagine #amanda rollins #x reader #fin tutuola #y/n is doing amanda #If you didn’t get that #i love her #cat writes incorrect quotes

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Forever and Always

So first I owe an apology to @autumntheblogger who requested a sequel to Our Family. It has taken me a while to write this and be happy with it. But it is finally here and I really hope it was worth the wait.

I recommend reading Our Family first, which is linked below but you don't have to.

Warnings: None. Just good old fluff.

Masterlist

Prompt List

Our Family

You smiled softly as Rafael whined low in his throat as you slowly moved out from under his arm that was wrapped tightly around your waist. You wiggled out of bed looking back at him as you sat up, his forehead was wrinkled as he reached out to you in his sleep. You huffed out a laugh putting your pillow in his reach before leaning over and pressing a kiss to the furrow in his eyebrows. It was a similar event every time you got up before him, it was rather adorable, although a little bit amusing at the same time.

You swapped your shirt for the one of his that was sitting at the end of the bed as always before you padded down the hallway, checking in on Noah before continuing to the kitchen. Rafael had had a long night, a difficulty in a case causing him to stay later than he normally did these days, so you wanted to cook him a nice breakfast before he had to head into the office.

You were half way through cooking waffles and some egg and bacon when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and lips on the back on your neck before Rafael buried his head in the crook of your neck.

“You could have slept a little longer babe,” you whispered.

“Hmm, I could have, but you weren’t there,” Rafael whispered pressing kisses up and down your neck. “There is no point sleeping in if you aren’t with you.”

“Sook,” you teased.

“You are so mean to me, Carino,” Rafael whined, you could feel him pouting. “Don’t make me tell Liv on you.”

“Ooh, bringing out the big guns huh?” you asked lightly running your fingers along his forearm. “You know she would be on my side right?”

“Fine, I’ll tell Finn,”

“Also on my side,” you turned your head enough to kiss him on the temple before you pulled out of his arms to plate up the rest of the food. “Could you get our son?”

“I can go get our son,” Rafael grinned sneaking in one last kiss before going to get Noah. It didn’t matter how much time had passed since you had told him that Noah was his son as much as he was yours, he would always get so happy to refer to Noah as “his” or “our” son. You shook your head a little as you brought the plates to the table, being sure to grab Noah’s sippy cup with his juice and Rafael’s cup of coffee. You could hear him coming back down the hall, humming softly to Noah.

“So, what is the plan today?” he asked, getting Noah settled.

“Hm, gotta drop Noah off at day care, then I have a meeting with a client that’s probably going to take all day,” you sighed, already feeling the headache that this day will induce.

“Wait, is this that guy that keeps changing his mind?” Rafael asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, after we agree, he calls and then says he doesn’t want it that way anymore, it is doing my head in,”

“Next time he tries, tell him your boyfriend is a lawyer,” Rafael grinned. “A verbal agreement is a legally binding contract.”

“Mhm, my boss will love it if I subtly imply that I will sue one of our top paying clients,” you roll your eyes.

“Well, the option is there,” he placed a kiss on your forehead as he stood up. “Thanks for breakfast I gotta get into the office.”

“Have a good day!” you were too focused on helping Noah eat to see the look on Rafael’s face. His hand went into the pocket of his pants and stayed there as he headed out the door, looking back once to the scene at the kitchen table before closing the door.

---

Rafael stood outside the station one hand in his pocket fiddling with the box that he had been carrying around for months, since you had told him that he was Noah’s father. He had been standing there for a lot longer than he ever wanted to admit.

“Counsellor?” Rafael jumped at the sound of Nick’s voice behind him. “Are you going in?”

“Yes, need to speak with Liv about the new case you lot have dumped on me,” Rafael cleared his throat attempting to cover up how nervous he was.

“We haven’t given you a new case,” Nick raised his eyebrow as he followed Rafael inside. “And you’re jumpier than normal, it’s too early for you to have had enough caffeine to make you like this considering your tolerance.”

“I hate detectives,” Rafael muttered.

“You’re nervous,” it was not a question as Nick’s eyes traced the movement of Rafael’s in his pocket. “Congrats.”

“Not a word…I haven’t even told Liv yet,” Rafael pointed his finger at Nick. “And I want to ask for Liv’s blessing…and Finns.”

“My lips are sealed,” Nick promised as they entered the bull pin.

“Why is one of my detectives telling you that his lips are sealed?” Liv questioned, her eyes narrowing as she catalogued every movement Rafael made before her eyes zeroed in on his hand still in his pocket. “My office. Finn, join us.” Her tone left no room for argument.  

“Good luck,” Amanda winked as both men followed Olivia into her office. Rafael felt his heart pick up speed, he knew Liv would notice straight away, but he had not considered her tone to be that specific one, it was her Lieutenant voice. And the way Finn walked ahead of him was the same way he walked into the interrogation room.

Olivia closed the door behind the two of them before she walked around her desk, Finn taking his spot right beside her as they both stared Rafael down. It was rare for him to be on the receiving end of those looks, at the same time. He now knew how a suspect felt when Liv and Finn would team up. Rafael felt sweat start to build on his forehead as he took a deep breath.

“I am aware that the both of you already know what I want to ask,”

“Well, you aren’t very subtle Counsellor,” Finn mused. “You’re more wired than I have ever seen you.”

“Have I mentioned lately how I hate detectives?” Rafael asked trying to buy himself some more time. He had originally had it all planned out but he found himself struggling to remember everything he had practiced.

“Quit stalling Rafa,” Liv teased, which helped Rafael relax a little. “I wanna hear what you have to say.”

“I wanted to ask for your blessing to ask y/n to marry me,” Rafael forced out. “I love her with my entire heart and soul. I could not imagine my life without her. Or without Noah, the two of them have changed my life for the better. I mean I have a life now, before I wasn’t really living but y/n and Noah brought light and love to my life. They helped me to live again.”

Olivia’s lips twitched as she struggled to keep her face neutral, she didn’t want to break too early but her eyes gave away everything. They brightened with happiness with every new word that left Rafael’s mouth. She knew the two of them would be a forever thing from the moment they started seeing each other but to hear how much her sister had impacted Rafael’s life was another thing entirely, especially when she already knew how much he had impacted her life as well. Finn on the other hand had no issue with holding strong. He needed to rib the ADA a little.

“Not our permission?” Finn raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that normally what people ask for? Not blessing?”

“My carino is her own person and I don’t believe she would appreciate if I asked for someone else’s permission to marry her as if she was property,” Rafael pointed out. “But to have the blessing of her sister, who raised her and your blessing Finn, who has been such an important person in her life. That would mean a lot to me, to know that the two of you trust her heart to me.”

“Well,” Liv said her voice a little heavy and if Rafael peered a little closer he could have sworn that he saw some tears forming.

“I got questions,” Finn demanded, still not giving in but his demeanour had softened. Rafael fought so hard to not roll his eyes but Olivia did not.

“Of course you do, one would forget that I was the one who raised her,” Liv muttered.

“Alright, Finn,” Rafael sighed before squaring his shoulders. “What questions?”

“When are you planning to pop the question?”

“This Saturday, it’s the anniversary of when we met,”

“I am trying very hard to restrain myself right now,” Olivia muttered as she stood up and walked around to stand in-front of Rafael, she pulled him into a tight hug which he returned in kind. “I whole heartedly give you my blessing to marry my sister. I know you will continue to make her happy and that you will continue to be an amazing father to Noah.”

Finn kept his arms crossed as he moved to stand in-front of Rafael, his eyes narrowed. He stared Rafael down but Rafael did not waver as he held the detective’s stare. He had never wavered before and he definitely wasn’t about to start now. But the stare down didn’t last long before Finn’s tough shell broke, his lips pulling back into a smile as he threw his arms out wide.

“Well, that’s all I wanted to know,” Finn grinned. “Was just pulling your leg, there was no way I wasn’t giving you my blessing to marry Little Benson, she would have throttled me.”

“Good to know that is the main reason,” Rafael muttered shaking his head.

“I mean of course I think you’re good for her as well,” Finn shrugged. “But she’s a Benson.”

“Little unsure if I should feel complimented or insulted by what that implies,” Olivia narrowed her eyes at Finn before deciding it wasn’t worth it. “I want all the details. Now.”

“Of course you do,” Rafael had resigned himself to this the moment he bought the ring.  

--

“I was thinking, this Saturday I could take little Noah for an aunty/nephew sleep over, it’s been a while,” Liv stated as the two of you were getting your nails done. It was a little earlier than normal but Liv had insisted on changing your appointments to Friday instead of the Saturday two weeks from now. And Liv had insisted on choosing your nails, and for you to choose hers. You narrowed her eyes at your sister, tilting her head to the side before you looked at the calendar on the wall and saw the date.

“He’s proposing,” you didn’t even ask, you just stated.

“…damnnit,” Liv cursed. “I really thought I could have gotten this past you.”

“You might be the detective but I was raised by you,” you shrugged. “Plus, these nails are like fancy nails. Not to mention you and Amanda taking me shopping yesterday and insisting that I try on really pretty dresses and to get the one that is almost the exact shade of Rafael’s eyes. And tomorrow is the anniversary of when we first met.”

“I now understand why Rafael always says he hates detectives,” Olivia laughed shaking her head. “I didn’t realise you had picked so much up from me.”

“Yeah well,” you just shrugged again. “You were always my hero Liv, of course I wanted to be able to do what you do. Plus you did drill into me to be observant and then Finn even started teaching me recon shit.”

“Part of me wants to offer you a job but the other part of me definitely wants you to stay as far away from police work as possible,”

“As if I would take it anyway,” you rolled your eyes. “No offense but I like my job too much and I get paid really well. Plus I don’t get shot at so.”

“Yeah, yeah alright,” Liv grinned. “So, I get Noah on Saturday, and Sunday until lunch, then his dad gets him while, you and I go out for dinner and you tell me everything.”

“Liv, I don’t think you’re going to want to know everything,” you giggled, your heart fluttering in excitement. You may have been nonchalant when you stated what this was all about but truthfully you were nervous. Even knowing what Rafael had planned you had no idea how he was going to do it.

“You are a terror,” Liv rolled her eyes.

“Little sister’s prerogative,” you shrugged. “But yes, I agree, you can have Noah up until Sunday lunch, which we will all have together, and then you and I will have a dinner in? I doubt I will be up for going out.”

The two amazing women who always did yours and Liv’s nails both giggled at that.

“I remember when my husband proposed to me,” the one doing Liv’s nails sighed. “We didn’t leave our room for days.”

“Liv showed me the dress you will be wearing,” your technician grinned. “These nails will go beautifully with it.”

Liv had chosen a golden base for your nails, that simmered gently, with a pale green swirling pattern overlaying it. The pale green was almost a perfect match for your dress and Rafael’s eyes. You smiled softly holding your left hand up in-front of you, imagining the ring that will be sitting on your ring finger tomorrow night.

“Have you seen the ring?” you asked.

“I have,” Liv nodded. “It’s gorgeous and very you. Rafael did a good job choosing it. And that is all you get from me.”

You pouted a little but knew you would rather have that as a surprise. Since you technically ruined the surprise that he was proposing to you in the first place.  

---

“Come on! We want to see,” Amanda sang as she held Noah on her hip, with Oliva beside her.

You stood in-front of the mirror in Olivia’s bedroom, brushing down the front of your dress. Amanda had volunteered to help do your make-up when Liv mentioned that you had worked out what was happening tonight, and she had done an amazing job. It was a beautiful subtle look that managed to empathise your cheekbones and bring focus to your eyes. Olivia had curled your hair and pinned the sides up, so nothing obscured your face.

“Alright, alright! I swear you are more excited than I am,” you laughed walking into the lounge room, blushing at the looks on the two women’s faces. “Is it too much? Will he know that I know?”

“You look beautiful,” Liv whispered her eyes tearing up a little.

“I don’t think he will care,” Amanda smiled. “Not when he sees you. What do you think little man?”

Noah cooed clapping his hands and reaching out for you. You allowed him to latch onto one of your fingers as your stepped forward to place a soft kiss against his chubby little cheek.

“I hope you have fun with your aunties tonight,” you smiled.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Liv wrapped an arm around your waist holding you to her side. “Manda, Noah and I will have lot’s of fun tonight.”

“Though not as much fun as you,” Amanda wiggled her eyebrows. “He’ll be here any minute.”

You giggled, holding in the small squeal that wanted to escape when a knock sounded on the door.

“Make that any second,” Liv squeezed you before going to let the man of the hour in.

“Breathe,” Amanda whispered kissing you on the cheek as Rafael walked into view and you felt your air in your lungs leave you in a rush. He was wearing your favourite suit, which thankfully complimented your dress perfectly.

“Carino,” Rafael breathed. “You take my breathe from me.”

“Well, you two need to get going,” Liv started pushing the two of you towards the door when you failed to say anything in response. You couldn’t, you found for once you had no words. This was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with and tonight was the start of the next chapter of it.

---

“Rafael, this place is beautiful,” you whispered as the hostess led you to your table. Which was in a quiet corner, lit candles decorated it, and a bottle of expansive red wine was breathing next to a vase filled with peonies and lilac. Your favourite flowers.

“Tonight is a special night,” Rafael pressed a kiss to your temple as he helped you into your chair.

“The anniversary of our first date?” you asked tilting your head to the side as he poured glasses of wine.

“Exactly,” Rafael grinned, you could see the nerves that he hid behind that smile. You reached across the table and grabbed his hand squeezing it once, as a gentle smile pulled at your lips.

“You always spoil me Rafi,” you pulled your hand away to focus on the menu in-front of you. “You look especially handsome tonight. Amanda had to remind me to breathe.”

“Turn about is fair play,” Rafael teased. “Everyday I must remind myself to breathe, when I wake up with you in my arms, when you smile at me I feel the world stop.”

You felt your heart squeeze as your stomach fluttered before it stopped, contentment settling over your body as Rafael pulled a box out of his pocket.

“I was going to wait until dessert but I found I can’t,” Rafael chuckled, as he slid the box to the middle of the table. “Carino, everyday that we have been together has made my life better, happier and brighter. The day you told me you loved me I knew that I would know no better happiness, until you told me I was Noah’s father. You have given me a home, a family. I know that your love has made me a better man and I promise you that everyday I will be sure to be deserving of your love, of your heart and of our son. You are my heart, my soul and the very breathe in my lungs. I wish to wake with you in my arms every day. Carino, my love, will you marry me?”

Rafael opened the box as you tried to stop the tears that fell down your cheeks. Nestled in blue fabric was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. It was also far from a traditional engagement ring but it showed that Rafael knew you. For you never wanted a traditional ring. It was a black band twisted around itself, with lines of silver and gold entwined along it. Three gems sat in the band, the middle one held above the others by the twisting of the band, wrapping securely by the gold and silver. It took you a moment to realise what the gems represented, and when you did your heart ached with love. They were your birthstones, Noah’s, Rafael’s and yours.

“Rafi,” you breathed holding out your left hand for Rafael, he lifted the ring from the box holding it just over your ring finger before he slowly slid it down. “Yes, always.”

#writing #imagine #law and order svu #imagines #fluff #law and order svu imagines #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba x y/n #Romance #Request #Olivia Benson #Female Benson sister #Our Family #Amanda Rollins #odafin tutuola #Benson Reader

[forestwaterfalls]

holy shit rollisi having one of those loud arguments that boils down to rollins yelling at carisi “BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME!” the way i gasped!!

#‘you were my partner and you left me!’ ‘you said you were happy for me!’ ‘and you believed me how stupid are you?!’ #oh my god you children. you dumbass kids who won’t admit you need each other. #i love them i loved that scene #also captain mom benson telling them to stfu because she’s on the phone 😭😭 #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #rollins x carisi #rollisi #law & order: svu #m rambles

[2ctheocean]

Hot take: EO is not ready to be together, no matter how much the fandom is ready for them to be. Elliot has barely acknowledged any of what had happened to Liv in the last 10 years. He hasn't asked. The one time he did, he fixated on her dating life. Not her kid, not her cases, not her trauma or how she made captain. Her dating life.

Doing all of that would mean admitting to her face that he was wrong to ghost her for a decade and that he regrets how much he missed (more than the half-assed version we got). Which will be hard for Stabler, who has a tough time being honest about his emotions anyway (the therapy is a FANTASTIC first step). Until he gets ALL of that information and tells her that, she's not going to be convinced he won't ever leave her again.

There's so much that's a part of her now that Stabler just doesn't know about.

And the one thing the fandom keeps forgetting is that Liv was traumatized by him leaving. One could argue Lewis was the peak of that truama on top of being his own hellbeast.

They were joined at the hip for 12 years. And then he just ghosted her. And for those four days when Lewis had her, she was forced to rely only on herself.

She's kept everyone else at a distance since he left. There have been dozens of moments in the last decade where she's been reminded of him-"did you really think he was going to look over one day and realize you were the woman he couldn't live without?"- But the last part of her that believed she wouldn't always need to save herself took a fatal blow when she saved herself from Lewis. Up until that moment, a small part of her geniunely hoped Elliot'd smash through the door and save her. She was thinking about him the entire time he was there.

But Stabler stayed gone, and she stayed alone, and she had to learn to be okay with it. His silence indicated to her that she wasn't in his thoughts, that everything she thought she knew about their bond wasn't real.

And then it was affirmed by Kathy's letter.

And then thrown off all over again by Elliot saying "In a parellel universe, it will always be you and I."

So. Many. Mixed. Signals.

Now he's back, and she's unwilling to take that wall down again because it's such a big risk. Ed was the only one after Elliot who even partially got through, and she did eventually shut him out when he got too close. Elliot has not earned his way back into her heart. He might have taken his first steps, but it's going to be a long road.

Or Benson is going to get abducted or something and Stabler's going to burst in and save her like he should have done a decade ago and it's going to make her understand that she can trust him again (this feels cheap to me as a social worker, but as a writer, it will make for great television)

This is all compounded by the fact that People. Keep. Walking. Out. On. Her.

The moment she forms what feels unbreakable, they're gone. The moment she feels safe and comfortable with them, they're gone. Munch, Craegon, Nick. Chief Dodds and his son. Barba. Stone. Kat. Garland.

And then Amanda almost died. And then Benson had to give her up too. Amanda, the closest thing she's ever had to a sister. Who's kids she's godmother too. The woman her son calls "Aunt" and has known since day one. Who has similiar problems and truamas, who was there for the worst moments of her life and went through her own with Liv right there.

I suspect the only reason Liv didn't take it even harder is because of Carisi. As long as she has him, Amanda's close by and she hasn't lost her completely. Amanda and Carisi are a packaged duo now (yet another set of partners Liv has watched get the happy ending she should have gotten with Elliot but that's another post).

She's still in a freefall though. It's why she's suddenly scrambling for reassurance from Fin that he's not leaving too. He's all she has left, the only one who's stayed. Ironically, he's the longest relationship she's ever had with a man now. Her brother in every way that matters.

Notice that while Fin struggles with Amanda leaving, he doesn't take it nearly as hard, at least that we've seen. He has Phoebe, after all. His partner- the one that mattered most, the one that came back. (All of this is being said before the Fin centeric episode in a week or two)

I've digressed here. Fin grounds her enough that she can keep working. He gets her to fill Amanda's desk. But she's still reeling. She's in no place to trust anyone new right now, or love anyone new.

And anything with Elliot she started right now would be new. Uncertain. And while she may know in her heart of hearts that he'll never leave her again, you cannot blame her for being tired of being hurt. That's what was happening when she stepped back from him to lean on the fridge. She wants to lean on him, fall into him, but she's so emotionally exhausted that she just can't risk it. She's Not Ready because she won't survive loving him again and then losing him again (too).

TLDR: I will defend Liv's reluctance to trust again to my dying breath and it's justified no matter how impatient I or the rest of the fandom get.

#this wasn't meant to be an essay #law and order svu #olivia benson #bensler #elliot x olivia #elliot stabler #mentions of Rollisi #Mentions of Amanda Rollins #No Barson in this one #sorry #you know I'm Bensler trash #but it's still a long way off #Benson is traumatized and I will not judge her for Not Being Ready #it's coming #don't get me wrong #but its not time yet

[megalony]

Reliving the dream- Part 4

I suddenly felt inspired to write for Rafael Barba and SVU again, I hope you will all like this part. Any requests and comments would be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez-blog​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @ceres27​ @thereisa8ella​ @qardasngan​

@a-brignac​​​​

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Rafael had to recover from losing their baby 2 years ago, but their lives start to change again when (Y/n) finds out she’s pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile wormed it way onto Rafael's lips and he paused in his ministrations of undoing his tie when he felt a pair of warm arms securing around his middle. He shivered when he felt (Y/n)'s face pressing between his shoulder blades and her hot breaths fanning against his skin through his dress shirt.

"Hello mi amour," His voice was soft as butter while he threw his tie onto the bed and kicked off his shoes. He had only just walked through the bedroom door and (Y/n) automatically clung to him like he had been gone days instead of hours.

"Hi baby." (Y/n) closed her eyes and inhaled his scent before she tightened her arms around him, not wanting to pull away just yet. She could feel him chuckling quietly and he reached an arm behind him to hold her hip before he slowly turned around in her arms.

With a growing smile, Rafael cupped (Y/n)'s face in his hands and pressed a longing kiss to her lips and he swore she melted against him into a puddle. "How was your day?" He spoke quietly in between kisses and he slowly walked (Y/n) back until her knees hit the bed and she sat down.

Even though she had seen him this morning before work it felt like the hours had dragged until he walked through the door. (Y/n) wasn't ever so keen on being home alone, when they were both at work it was okay because she was busy and around people but if Rafael was working and she wasn't, (Y/n) felt at a loss for what to do. All she wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms lately and the moment he let her go she felt empty.

It didn't dawn on (Y/n) that she was only in her bra and underwear until she watched her husband rake his eyes over her frame and his smile turned into a catfish grin that made her stomach flip. She had been in the process of getting changed after a bath when Rafael came home.

A curious look came across Rafael's lips as he leaned over (Y/n) with his hands resting on her hips and his legs stood between her thighs. He watched intently as she took hold of one hand and moved his palm until it was pressed under her growing stomach. Silence enveloped them and he waited patiently and confused until he felt a small wriggle against his hand that made his face light up.

They were at twenty weeks now so it was about now that (Y/n) would start to feel the baby moving and soon she would feel them kicking and she knew the moment it started, everything would feel real. Up until now she still couldn't get her mind around the fact that they were going to have a baby. That she was going to have a baby.

All she could think about was their baby girl and a repeat of history that would render them childless again.

The chances of having another miscarriage or stillbirth were very slim and extremely unlikely but it didn't make it any easier. (Y/n) wanted to be the kind of woman who could go out and look at baby clothes and buy some in advance without panicking that if she bought even one outfit, she would tempt fate and then she would suddenly have a miscarriage. It didn't feel safe to buy anything or get the spare room set up and decorated, (Y/n) didn't want to do anything until their baby was almost born.

If she was being honest with herself, (Y/n) would rather not get anything ready until she'd gone through labour and was sure they would be able to bring their child home at the end of it all.

Going through labour and ending up with no child at the end didn't even come with feelings, it left (Y/n) and Rafael hollow. They were able to see, hold and cuddle their baby for as long as they wanted but it wasn't the same because they had to savour her touch because one touch had to last a lifetime without her.

"They know their Papi." Rafael smiled charmingly before he pulled back and began to unbutton his shirt.

At their scan next week they would find out if they were having a boy or a girl and though Rafael was excited, he knew (Y/n) was apprehensive. If they had a girl, it would feel like they were replacing Bella and he knew (Y/n) would just be waiting until the day she thought she would miscarry. If they had a boy maybe she wouldn't be so panicked but he wasn't sure.

He wanted her to enjoy the experience like last time, he knew (Y/n) had loved feeling the baby move and watching her body change to look after their baby. He would feel a lot better if (Y/n) was calmer and excited rather than panicked and worried.

"Your mum came round today," (Y/n) slowly rose from the bed with one hand rubbnig soothing circles over her stomach. She made her way over to the chair in front of the window and held out a box to Rafael.

"From mami?" He questioned befoe he took the small blue box from (Y/n)'s hands and set it down on the bed to take a peek.

His breath suddenly got stuck at the back of his throat and he felt himself tense for a few seconds as he looked into the box. Rafael's hands were subtally trembling when he slowly pulled the hand-knitted blanket out of the tissue paper. It was a lovely cream colour with rows in squares and two rows or purple and green bordering around the blanket.

"It's lovely, I cried when I opened it." (Y/n) couldn't speak without her voice breaking and it made tears well up in her eyes.

The blanket was beautiful and it was hand-made which made it all the more special but it hurt.

(Y/n) felt awful when her mother-in-law came round and gave her the gift because she couldn't help but cry when she looked at the blanket. It was touching to have something so lovely that must have taken hours to complete and it would be very special to her child when they grew older. But that was the part that made (Y/n) cry. She didn't know if the baby would be okay or even alive to appreciate this gift.

When they told his mother last time that they were pregnant, she had been over the moon and she made a similar blanket which was champagne white with pink flowers and pink ribbon sewn around the edging. She also made purple slippers for their baby as well but they had been made in vain.

"She's been dying to make some outfits since we told her." Rafael gently folded the blanket back and put it back in the box before he turned towards (Y/n).

"I know, and I want her to make them but we didn't even keep the last blanket she made, we b... I can't do that again."

(Y/n) rubbed at her tired, sore eyes before she sat down on the bed and flopped to lay on her side.

Deep down, (Y/n) wished she had that baby blanket his mother made for them. It might have been something she could hold onto and cuddle when she yearned to have their baby in her arms. It would have been a good source of comfort for them both but they didn't have it anymore. When they lost Bella, they had dressed her in the only outfit Rafael's mother had managed to make for her with how premature she had been and they wrapped her up in the same blanket she had made. Bella was buried with the blanket so she was warm and comfortable.

(Y/n) couldn't go through picking an outfit out and swaddling their next baby up in this blanket to be buried in the ground. She couldn't do it again.

"Querida, we won't have to do that this time." Rafael sat down on the bed beside her and moved his hand to smooth over her stomach. "You can feel them moving about now and we know they're okay. We're gonna have a baby who will be perfect."

A grin broke out on (Y/n)'s face despite the few tears still leaving her eyes and she slowly carded her fingers through Rafael's hair when he shuffled down so that he was level with her stomach. She wasn't sure what he whispered but whatever it was made the baby within her stir before he kissed her stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey hun, you want something to eat?"

Amanda's voice broke (Y/n) out of her thoughts and she tiredly looked up, trying to look around for the blonde who was sitting on her desk across from (Y/n). She had a Chinese takeout pot in her hand and chopsticks in the other that she was clattering together like a crab's pinchers which made (Y/n) smile despite how rough she felt.

Nothing she had been eating recently had stayed down long enough to digest, everything came back up and (Y/n) was feeling worse for wear because of it. She just prayed that Rafael wouldn't come down to the precinct today because she promised him if she didn't manage to keep breakfast down then she would stay home. But she didn't want to be home alone, if anything happened to the baby she didn't want to be alone and work was the best place to be when she was around her friends. It wasn't like she was doing any hard work either when she was bound to desk duty for the foreseeable future.

"No, thanks I'm good." It was tempting, (Y/n) was always partial to some noodles but she didn't want to take the risk. It would be better to fast for the day and let her stomach settle than risk eating something and throw it up later.

"You sure (Y/n)? There's some rice or some plain noodles if you want." Carisi perched himself on the edge of (Y/n)'s desk and held a container out towards her with a bright smile and a fork in his hand because he couldn't work the chopsticks properly.

"No... w-what have you got?" (Y/n) couldn't help the way her lips pulled into a frown when the smell hit her nose like a truck.

It never normally affected her but even the simplest food seemed to smell so horrid to (Y/n) now she was pregnant and it was making bile rise in her throat. All she wanted to do was eat, her stomach was growling with hunger and it was making her head spin but she couldn't when throwing it up again later felt so awful. Her throat burned from the acid when she was sick and her stomach seemed to turn in knots.

Starving herself until she was better would work because she had tried to eat little and often but it only meant she was sick more often. Even water wasn't staying down recently either.

"Sweet and sour chicken, want some?"

The moment Carisi moved the container towards her, (Y/n) leaned back and held her breath so she wouldn't smell the food and she pushed it back towards him, hoping he would get the hint and move it away.

"Sorry Carisi but it smells, could you...?"

"Yeah, yeah sure, sorry. Why don't you try some crackers?" He could see she was feeling a bit queasy and he also knew she hadn't eaten anything for lunch yet. Going without wouldn't be the best idea, at least some crackers would line her stomach and be easier to hold down.

It felt good to eat a few prawn crackers, (Y/n) could feel the tension leaving her body and her stomach- and the baby, seemed to settle a bit more when she ate a few. It was so tempting to gorge out and eat the whole bag but (Y/n) knew better than to do that because it wouldn't help and it was daring to want to try some rice and noodles but she had to pace herself and take it slow. Maybe this afternoon she could try and eat something else.

That was a mistake.

(Y/n) pressed her palm to her forehead and closed her eyes, trying to take a few deep breaths but she could feel the panic bubbling up in her stomach. Eating had been a mistake and it had barely been twenty minutes since she had those crackers and they were churning in her stomach already.

She was going to be sick and she knew it. Pushing herself up onto unsteady feet, (Y/n) tried to smile and walk slowly but she broke out into a sprint for the toilets when she could feel bile rising at the back of her throat and bubbling up into her mouth.

She didn't make it to the toilets.

Her knees caved in next to the water fountain that held her weight for her as she clung to it and heaved onto the floor. Even the cup of water she had managed to have this morning came back up with vengence and everything spilled out onto the floor until she was coughing and spluttering. Her skin was burning against the cold fountain beside her and (Y/n) could feel her body beginning to shake.

"(Y/n)?"

"Fuck," (Y/n) choked on the word as well as the water that was still trying to escape her lips.

(Y/n) tried to lift her head to see her husband hurrying towards her but her head felt like it was suddenly full of lead and weighing towards the floor. Even her eyes burned when she looked up through hooded lashes to see a blurry image of Rafael coming at her at full speed.

"Querida, look at me." Rafael's voice was gently but full of worry when he reached her side. He dropped his briefcase to the floor and in an instant his arms were around her waist, keeping her to his side. "Come on, mi amour." His voice was soft and gentle and he let her lean her weight onto him and guide her slowly down the corridor to the toilets.

The moment they got into the toilets, (Y/n) felt like the room had spun on its axis and the only thing keeping her up when her legs caved in was Rafael's arms that swooped under her armpits and hoisted her up so she didn't collide with the toilet.

"Fuck! Sweetheart, you still with me?" He wasn't sure if she had fainted or if her energy had dwindled but when she buckled, he held her back to his chest before he slowly lowered her down to her knees in front of the toilet. Sighing in relief when he heard a small whimper from her lips before her head flopped on the toilet rim and she threw up again.

With a deep breath left Rafael's lips before he kneeled down in the small cubicle with her and gently pulled her hair away from her face.

She didn't look well. Her skin was blotched with sweat and she was burning up and her tired eyes could barely stay open and even though she had been sick, her lips were clearly dry and chapped telling him she hadn't been drinking enough.

It broke Rafael's heart when (Y/n) started to cry mixed with choked breaths when she felt like she could barely breathe at all. If he'd have known she was this bad he wouldn't have gone to the office this morning, he would have stayed home with her and made sure she either ate something or went to the hospital to be checked up because this wasn't good.

"Alright sweetheart, it's okay let it out. I'll talk to Liv and take you to hospital."

(Y/n) didn't want to be like this, she didn't want to be or feel like a burden because she should be able to look after herself and the baby, Rafael shouldn't always have to come to her rescue but it was good that he did. She didn't know where she would be without him.

It took a lot of effort for (Y/n) to push herself away from the toilet and lean back into Rafael but she instantly felt better and relaxed when she leaned into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She could feel him kissing her damp forehead and muttering something in Spanish against her hair but she couldn't work out what he said, all she could hear was static in her ears. Her head snuggled further into his chest and a murmur vibrated against her throat but she didn't know what she was trying to say.

"What?" Rafael leaned his chest back and tilted his head down to try and look at (Y/n) to work out what she said but his body tensed and his muscles tightened when she went limp against him and her head lolled against his chest. "Oh, sweetheart."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rafi?"

"How do you feel, Querida?"

(Y/n) leaned into his touch when his hand smoothed over her cheek and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed she appeared to be laying in. She stayed quiet for a few moments, trying to work out what was happening and remember what she was doing before she woke up here.

She could remember throwing up at the precinct and being in the car with Rafael but everything else was made of cotton wool and clogged up in her mind.

"W-what...?" Her hazy vision looked down at her hand but she shuddered when she saw a needle stuck into her vein on the back of her hand connected to a drip. What were they giving her?

"No, no Querida leave it in, please." Rafael was quick to grab both her hands and hold them on his lap to stop her from trying to take out the IV. He couldn't have her rip it out like he'd seen her do before, there would be blood everywhere and it would only serve to hurt her. It was there to get her fluids up and to get the anti-emmetics into her system so she could start to eat properly without throwing everything back up again.

"How long have we been here?"

"About three hours I think. I brought you to the emergency room and they brought you up here, you're on an IV for fluids and some anti sickness meds so you can start to eat soon. They want to keep you in overnight and make sure you actually keep something down before we go."

He hadn't expected her to remember what happened this afternoon, she had seemed very out of sorts the few times she woke up.

He managed to get her in the car with the help of Carisi and she briefly woke up and then again when they were waiting downstairs in the emergency room. When she woke up again when they moved her into this room Rafael had pinned her down so they could put the cathiter in her vein and since then he'd made a few phone calls and waited for her to come back around again.

"I don't want to stay, Rafi, baby please-"

"You can baby me all you want but we're not leaving until they say you're ready." The way he rose his brow and quirked his lips made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter before she suddenly moved both their hands to rest on her tummy. It only now dawned on her that something may have happened or gone wrong with their baby. "The baby's fine." It was as if he could read her mind and see all the worries floating around and he wanted to quell each one to make her feel better.

He would burn the world down if she asked him to.

His smile suddenly softened and (Y/n) could see his eyes glossing over before he leaned closer until theri foreheads were touching.

"They did a quick ultrasound to double check everything was okay... we're having a baby boy, Querida."

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba one shot #imagine #law and order #law and order svu #Olivia Benson #sonny carisi #Amanda Rollins

[onceuponaweirdo]

you mean to tell me that you see a scene with Amanda and Olivia together and you don't envision Olivia craddling Amanda's beautiful face delicately in her hands, as one does with porcelain. Gently step into her space, eyes searching her face for signs of denial or discomfort, slowly but assertively, with a confidence only blantant desire and pure genuine infautuation can give you, lean down to press their lips together in a swift tender kiss, a barely there lock of lips, too scared to be more and too eager to pull back??

#law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu19 #olivia benson #amanda rollins #rolivia #olivia x amanda #mariska hargitay #kelli giddish #wlw post #lesbian yearning #like seriously you don't envision this???? #shipping issue

[inevitablemoment]

Farewell, Amanda Rollins

Tonight, these two get their happy ending.

Thank you, Kelli.

#Rollisi #Thank you Kelli! #Rollins x Carisi #Carisi x Rollins #Sonny x Amanda #Dominick x Amanda #Dominick Sonny Carisi Jr. x Amanda Rollins #Dominick Sonny Carisi Jr. #Sonny Carisi #Sonny Carisi Jr. #Amanda Rollins #Law and Order: Special Victims Unit #Law and Order #OTP: Helluva Partner

[middnightlight]

my friends: relax, it’s just a show

me on the edge of bursting into tears: ROLLINS GOT FUCKING SHOT!!!?!?!?!  CARISI MY BBY! SHE BETTER FUCKING LIVE!

#law and order icons #law and order svu #law and order organized crime #Olivia Benson #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #amanda rollins x sonny carisi #im not okay #im not crying u are #as you can clearly see #i am attached #i need them to be happy #law and order premiere

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Mommy... Master List

Welcome to my main, navigation post!! Requests are closed… So check out my Requests & Prompt-List post with all the details!

I will do my best to answer all appropriate requests and asks!! I prioritize by order of submission, so the older a request or ask is, the higher of a priority it is.

Want to see what I’m currently working on fic wise? Check out my WiP List!! I try to keep this updated with the fics I’m writing and plan to write! —My Work In Progress (WIP) List.

Come check out my side blog where I have a lot of my gay, mental health, and other random thoughts and musings!!— @cissy-side-thoughts

Please take a look at my Sex, Masturbation, Kink, & BDSM Resources if you’re looking for 18+ resources and topics.

Blog Updates:

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Sapphic w/w Recs List right here (;

Amazing Anxiety Bullet Commentary!!

Current Thoughts:

Vacation Struggles

What are the crossed out prompts?

Ship name: Alrissa!!!

My Blog Name Meaning

Aftercare Ramble

Holiday Struggles

If your a writer who wants to collab, please message me; I’d love to work with all you amazing Fic writers out there 😉

We’re in construction here so don’t mind me hehe…

Jk JK, this blog is not PG!!

Approach at your own risk... smut = * extra smutty=**

© Do not copy, repost, or modify any of my works.

—> Harry Potter Fandom Masterlist

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—> Marvel (MCU) Fandom Masterlist Part 1. Infinity Saga

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—> Marvel (MCU) Fandom Masterlist Part 2. Multiverse Saga

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—> Criminal Minds Fandom Masterlist

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—> Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

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~

Ava Coleman

When Shots Align ~Mommy!Ava*

Aaron Hotchner

It’s All Coming Down ~Broken!Aaron Hotchner xFem Reader

The Gilded Age

Bertha Russell

Bertha Russell Appearance Appreciation

Our Little Secret ~Fem!Servant!Reader*

Agnes van Rhijn

I’m Here, My Love ~Motherly!Soft!Agnes Van Rhijn xFem Younger(30s)!ClosetedLesbian!Reader

Sylvia Chamberlain

Trusting Mommy ~SugarMommy!Sylvia Chamberlain xFem Younger!SugarBaby!Virgin!Reader

I’ve Got You ~Plutonic!Godmother!Sylvia Chamberlain xFem Goddaughter!Reader

Dead Poets Society

Anderperry

Anderperry NSFW Headcanons*

Knarlie

Knarlie Headcanons

911

Athena Grant

Madam Secretary

Nadine Tolliver Masterlist

Elizabeth McCord Masterlist

Henry McCord

Long Night Reunions ~Nadine x Elizabeth x Henry*

Coming Home for You ~Nadine x Elizabeth x Henry*

Victorious

Jade West

Knives Out

Claire Debella

Baby It’s Cold Outside ~Claire Debella xFem Younger(20s)!CampaignAssistant!Reader ~Holiday Bingo

Sinking My Claws Into You ~Dark!Claire Debella xFem Younger!Wealthy!Reader

The Old Guard

Andromache the Scythian/Andy

The Jurassic Saga

Ellie Sattler

I Need You, Alan ~Ellie Sattler x Alan Grant (Grantler)

Alan Grant

I Need You, Alan ~Ellie Sattler x Alan Grant (Grantler)

Claire Dearing

Ocean’s 8

Lou Miller

Debbi Ocean

Tammy

Don’t Look Up

Brie Evantee

Janie Orlean

Law & Order: SVU

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Alexandra ‘Alex’ Cabot Masterlist

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Amanda Rollins

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv, & Amanda)[MATURE]

Rafael Barba

Taking Care of My Girl ~Dom!Rafael Barba xFem Sub!Girlfriend!Reader

My Guardian Angel ~Broken!Rita Calhoun xFem Younger!Investigator!Reader (Liz Donnelly x Alex Cabot) feat. Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson

Cruella

Baroness Van Hellman

Only Murders in the Building

Jan Bellows

The Good Wife/The Good Fight

Diane Lockhart

Doors Closing

Flux Gourmet

Jan Stevens

The Beekeeper

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Stranger Things

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Doctor Who

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River Song

Homeland

Elizabeth Keane

In Her Time of Need

House of Cards

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Hannibal

Frederick Chilton

Elementary

Cassandra Walker

Joan Watson

~~~

That’s all for now, ciao ciao lovelies! 💞💞

#cissyenthusiast010155 masterlist #harry potter masterlist #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #marvel masterlist #marvel fandom #marvel mcu #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #wednesday netflix #wednesday fanfic #wednesday masterlist #wednesday fandom #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars fandom #the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #tsfgae #the sandman fanfic #the sandman fandom #the sandman netflix #sherlock bbc #bbc sherlock #gunpowder milkshake #top of the lake #top of the lake China girl #game of thrones

[kayyybenson]

Pet Names - SVU gang

Olivia Benson:

What she calls you - Sweetheart, honey, babe

What you call her - Love, babe, "man of the house"

Amanda Rollins:

What she calls you - sugar, love bug, cutie pie

What you call her - Blondie, darling, sweetie

Sonny Carisi:

What he calls you - darlin', doll, hun

What you call him - babe, cutie, ace attorney

Nick Amaro:

What he calls you - Mi Luz (My light), Carino (Honey), Mi Amor (My Love)

What you call him - cupcake, honey bun

Rafael Barba:

What he calls you - Mi alma (my soul), Querida, querido (my dear) mi tesoro, (my treasure)

What you call him - Papi, Prince, My Love

Elliot Stabler:

What he calls you - babe, future wife,  my one and only

What you call him - El, future husband, trouble 

#law and order svu #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #elliot stabler #olivia benson #rafael barba #nick amaro #x reader #/you #cuteness #pet names

[nophunleague]

Rafael Barba Appears at the 16th Precinct Again

Rafael Barba x gn!reader

warnings: angst, grudge holding.

You all but crash into the conference room at the 16th, anxious to tell the squad that Mickey Davis had gotten some hot shot attorney, that you had heard courthouse gossip about it. The door swings open and you're met by Kat, Fin, Rollins, and Rafael.

His green eyes almost darken at the sight of you. He's not shocked that you're here, it's just the shock of not having seen you in years that strikes him. Taking in the crowd in the room you barely blink before spitting out at Rafael, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, you just look like someone I used to know," before spinning on your heel and storming back out into the squad room. You don't even look up at Liv and the deputy chief as they pass you. Amanda follows after you after Rafael is pulled into Liv's office by the Captain and Deputy Chief Garland. You're sat at your desk, head up in a thousand yard stare.

"Well I think you definitely hurt his feelings, if that's what you were going for," you're broken from your gaze by her speech and you look up to her from your seated position.

"After what he put me through I think what I said was fairly tame."

"You might be right about that, but maybe think about what he's been through too. He nearly threw his entire career away and had to leave you in the process," she tries to reason with you but your eyes narrow as she keeps talking.

"He didn't have to leave me and he should have talked to me first. I showed up to work one day and he was gone. The man I loved left me without a single word. It felt like my life fell apart," you seethe. Amanda looks over your shoulder to see Rafael standing behind you.

"That's very mature of you," she says before walking away, he walks up behind you and gently lays a hand on your shoulder. But you hadn't notice him yet so as he makes contact with your body you jump to face him, hand on your holstered weapon.

"Woah," he throws his hands up, "its just me," you scoff but remove your hand from your hip.

"Just you? Just you?" You start to pace back and forth in front of him, searching for the words to tell him off. But deep down you're glad to see him, he looks healthy, the beard he's grown compliments him.

"We should talk."

"Oh you want to talk now? But you didn't want to talk four years ago when you left," you all but shriek, your voice sparking the attention of those in the precinct. "You pulled the plug on someone's baby, were charged with murder, acquitted, and then you left me. And you didn't talk to me about any of it. We were supposed to be together and you left me out of it," your voice continues to raise as you takes steps closer to him, ending up in his face. His eyes search yours trying to find the person who he had once loved, but all he find is someone who has undoubtedly been incredibly hurt by his actions. The tears are threatening to spill from you eyes but you stay strong. Your raised voice causes Liv to step outside of her office.

"Both of you, take it outside. Now," you glance between Rafael and Liv before turning on your heel and storming out with Rafael following close behind. You meet again in the elevator where this time you stay silent.

"I didn't know how to tell you I was leaving, so I just left," he says quietly. "It wasn't the right thing to do, you didn't deserve that, but I needed to leave here. I was suffocating," the both of you stare at the elevator doors, not daring to look at one another. You reach up and hit the elevator switch, stopping the elevator in its descent.

"No, I didn't deserve that," a tear escapes your left eye at last, but you don't wipe it away. "You threw me away like I meant nothing to you. I would have went with you if you had just talked to me."

"You meant everything to me. I just couldn't let you throw your NYPD career away to come with me on the campaign trail. You were just getting to the point of being on the precipice of making sergeant," his eyes are now glued to the side of you head while you keep looking at the doors. You take a second to think about what you're going to say before raising your voice and making direct eye contact.

"Yeah well I failed the sergeant's exam twice since you left so I'll only ever be a detective now," Rafael can feel the holes your eyes are burning in him, his breath kicks up and he's uncharacteristically speechless for a moment. You huff and flip the elevator switch again allowing it to continue its descent. The doors open on the ground level of the 16th and you start to take a step out when he speaks.

"The day I did what I did to Baby Drew I was meant to pick up a ring. An engagement ring," he hangs his head, not looking at you.

"Oh so one day you were thinking about getting married and then next you were throwing everything we had together away? I don't know why you came back, but I don't think there's any fixing this. Not right now anyway," you shake your head as a few more tears fall.

"Liv and Fin called me," he admits.

"Oh even better, you didn't even come back for me. Tell Liv that I'll be back in a little bit," you storm out of the precinct. Rafael runs a hand through his hair as a tear now escapes one of his eyes. He composes himself quickly then presses the floor number of the squad room to go back up.

"I really fucked that up," he says to himself.

#law and order svu #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #svu #svu imagine #rafael barba imagine #raul esparza #special victims unit

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Looks and Wine

Okay guys here is chapter six! This one focus' more on Viper's relationship with Liv and Amanda, only a little interaction between Viper and Rafael.

Also, not sure if I mentioned this previously but I don't plan on adhering to the timeline of the show overly much. There will be some cannon events but they will happen slightly differently, particularly in terms of timeline.

Warnings: None, that I can think of.

Masterlist

Prompt List

One , two , three , four , five

Tag List: @profoundtyrantharmony , @wanniiieeee , @zizzlekwum , @petemitchells

You looked up at the sound of Rafael’s voice and grinned when he caught your eye. He smiled back before focusing back on Olivia, though you thought his eyes drifted over to you every now and then. Liv was giving an update regarding the current case and the need for a warrant for a possible suspects financials. In the several days since the two of you had been to the prison another victim had turned up, only this time there was a hit on his DNA, which allowed the team to trace his movements and finally get some answers. The latest victim had been a proud bisexual man who had last used his credit card at one of the gay bars in the city. Security footage showed him walking out, with his arm around another man, thankfully the suspect had used a credit card to pay for the last round of drinks.

“I honestly didn’t believe you when you said you and Rafael had sorted your shit out,” Amanda’s voice startled you, forcing you to realise that you hadn’t looked away from said man since he walked in. “But looks like there could be some different tension?”

“Shut it you,” you blushed. “There certainly won’t be. I was merely thinking and happened to be looking in that general area.”

“Uh-huh, a sloppy excuse if I ever heard one,” Finn joined in on the teasing. “Gonna make Nick jealous.”

“What?” you looked at Finn confused. “Why would Nick be jealous?”

“I think you me and Liv need to have some drinks tonight,” Amanda answered patting you on the shoulder before walking away leaving you even more confused.

“Finn,”

“Come on Viper, you aren’t blind, you’ve seen how Nick has been with you lately,” Finn pointed out.

“I mean yeah, but he’s kinda like that with most people, he is a caring person,” you countered. “You said he hovered a little with Liv after, you know.”

“He did but the looks-”

“What looks?” You asked, waving your hands.

Finn was about to answer when Liv and Rafael walked over. Liv stopped at Finn’s desk but Rafael continued to yours and perched on the edge swiping some of the chocolate covered almonds you had in a container. You rolled your eyes at his thieving and flicked his thigh. As this was happening Nick walked into the room, pausing at seeing Rafael on your desk grinning smugly down at you while you looked up at him, the softest look of annoyance on your face he had ever seen. He felt a sharp stab in his chest, as he took in the situation, hands clenching.

“Hey,” Amanda nudged him, trying to force him to look away. “Nick, Liv and I talked to you about this. Rein it in. You know Viper doesn’t like being coddled or handled with kiddie gloves and they won’t stop being annoyed with you until you start to listen.”

“I know, I do,” Nick nodded.

“And you also can’t glare at Barba just because the two get along now,” Amanda grinned. Nick hung his head at her teasing, rolling his eyes the hard look leaving them when he looked back over and saw you looking at him. He smiled softly at you, chuckling a little as you raised an eyebrow looking between him and Amanda before smiling back.

“Oh Liv, apparently Amanda wants us to have drinks tonight,” you interrupted her and Finn’s conversation.

“Oh?” Liv asked. “Why?”

“Um…not sure,” your eyes shifted to Rafael before quickly looking back at her.

“Oh don’t be so coy Viper,” Finn grinned. “I think Amanda want’s to explain some looks-”

“I will stab you,” Viper growled interrupting Finn, pointing a finger at him and glaring.

“Detective,” Rafael’s voice was mock scolding. “That is a crime.”

“Justifiable,” you countered eyes going back to him, that same cheeky grin from the other day on your face.

“Hm, I could argue it,” Rafael nodded. “Carry on.” He snagged some more almonds before standing up. “I’ll get you those warrants.”  As he walked away Liv looked between the two of you, saw Nick and Amanda on the other side of the room near the coffee, looked back at Finn and then finally rested her eyes on you.

“Oh, I see. You, me and Amanda are definitely doing drinks,” she laughed walking into Cragen’s office to give him an update. Leaving you to groan and drop your head onto your desk.

“I hate all of you.”

---

“Oi Counsellor, got us those warrants yet?” You asked strolling into his office without a knock on the door.

“No, please just walk right on in Detective,” Rafael said without looking up, his voice dry as he waved his hand dismissively.

“Door was open,” you shrugged. Nick trailed in behind you.

“I see manners are still something you lack,” Rafael sighed finally looking up and glaring at you. “Open doors are not an open invitation.”

“Calm down Barba,” Nick muttered. Rafael shifted his gaze to Nick, the playfulness of the glare leaving slightly as he noticed Nick was not joining in with the teasing.

“We’re teasing Nick,” you nudged him rolling your eyes at his seriousness. “Relax it’s all in good fun now.”

Nick looked at you jaw clenching before he sighed nodding and accepting it for now. He truly did want to get things back to how they were between the two of you, before that night you got slightly drunk and cried on his shoulder. He thought the two of you had shared a moment and over breakfast the following morning he felt a connection even some tension, and he had wanted to try and build off of that but maybe he had over stepped too much with you. He had just been concerned, he had never seen you so vulnerable and it made his protectiveness flare, all he had wanted to do was look after you and make it better. He honestly should have known better after Maria. He knew he needed to take a few steps back, and wait for you to come to him if you needed anything.

“And those warrants are right there,” Rafael pointed to a folder sitting on the left side of the desk. “You have access to the financials of one Andrew Moore. I also have a warrant waiting to be signed for DNA and all electronic devices once you can put him in the same vicinity as any other victim.”

“Very efficient Mr Barba,” you said picking up the folder and checking over the warrant before looking back up at him. “We’ll definitely be back, maybe even with a profile.” You winked at him when he groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Of course you will be,” he muttered watching as you walked out of his office with Nick trailing behind. He stopped for a minute waiting to ensure you had left before turned back to Rafael. “Something else detective?”

“You changed your tune with Viper fairly quickly,” Nick said his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“And that is a problem is it?” Rafael asked his defences up. “I was under the impression that everyone wanted the two of us to start getting along.”

“No, it’s no problem,” Nick shrugged. “Just curious, the two of you are getting along quite well. Let’s hope it continues.”

“Detective, I do not see how any of this has to do with you,” Rafael said with a hard edge to his voice. “And I suggest you leave it be, it is between Viper and myself.”

“It is my business if you hurt them, again,” Nick argued, he was about to continue when he heard your voice calling out.

“Nick, we need to get going,” you called out coming back into the annex of Rafael’s office smiling at Carmen who was returning to her desk. “We need to get these back, it’ll take a while before all the finances are gathered so we need to get it rolling.”

“Coming Viper,” Nick turned away from Rafael ignoring him completely in favour of returning to your side. Rafael watched as you good naturedly shoved his arm, complaining about keeping you waiting and trying to get out of him what the two of you were discussing your voice echoing down the hallway.

Rafael sighed not liking how he had reacted to Nick’s statements about how quickly he and Viper had turned around your relationship nor did he like or appreciate how Nick had implied that he would hurt Viper. Again. Rafael couldn’t quite put a name to the initial flare of emotion but it had quickly become anger. And that was not something Rafael had expected, Nick and he had bumped heads and disagreed before but never had Rafael felt anger towards the detective. Nor had he ever felt whatever that first emotion was, or the one that followed as he watched Viper and Nick interact. It seemed he and Viper weren’t the only ones to quickly change the tone of their relationship. Last he had heard you and Nick had been at odds, with how overbearing the detective had been recently but it appeared as though that was on the mends, at least on the way to being mended.

“Mr Barba,” Carmen’s voice interrupted his musings. “You’re 3 o’clock is here.”

--

You opened the door to your apartment with the biggest put on sigh you could manage. Amanda and Olivia stood on the other side bottles of wine and cheese and dips, and grins that told you nothing good would come of this evening.

“No, absolutely not,” you muttered opening the door wider to let them both in. “Leave the goods and get out.”

“Ha ha, you are so amusing,” Amanda rolled her eyes as she took over your kitchen as if it were her own. Grabbing three wine glasses and the cheese board, as Liv started opening the cheeses and dips placing them on the board.

“Catch,” Liv threw the boxes of crackers at you.

You had situated yourself on the couch watching as your two friends invaded your kitchen not bothering to help since they had invited themselves over and you just knew there would be teasing. You caught them easily enough, opening them just as the other two come over and took a seat either side of you. Amanda passed you a glass of wine, placing the bottles on the table, you gulped down one mouthful.

“Alright, what is this about?” you muttered.

“Right to it, don’t want to have some causal conversation first?” Liv asked taking some cheese.

“Would rather not drag this out,” you sighed.

“You are no fun Viper,” Amanda said flicking your shoulder. “This is about you, Nick and Rafael.”

“And I have no idea what you meant by looks,” you pointed out leaning forward to grab some dip on a cracker. Amanda and Liv shared a look over you head before you sat back. “So please, inform me.”

“Let’s start with Nick,” Amanda said. “What happened that night we all went drinking? Things have been off between you and Nick since then.”

“I may have broken down a little,” you admitted sipping your wine. “I maybe felt a little something when he comforted me but I didn’t know what to do with that and I had never felt it before and I was drunk and then he stayed the night, nothing happened, he slept on the couch and made me breakfast in the morning.”

“That’s sweet,” Liv said.

“Yeah, I thought so as well, and I guess whatever that spark was before it came back and I really didn’t know how to handle it but I thought it might go away, I mean I didn’t think I was leading Nick on,” you continued. “I mean, I really hope I didn’t-”

“You didn’t, the way you acted with Nick didn’t change,” Amanda said through some cheese and crackers. “I mean you did start acting cold towards him.”

“Yeah, because the dude just took the shining knight thing to serious,” you groused. “I mean, look I really appreciate knowing that he, and all you care, and want to make sure I was okay but sometimes he is a bit much. Like, because I had a breakdown I suddenly can’t do my job or – or I don’t know.”

“We can all agree that Nick is intense, especially when he cares about someone,” Liv agreed. “Hopefully, he takes the steps back he said he would.”

“Wait, you talked to him about his?” you asked glancing from Liv to Amanda. “Both of you?”

“Maybe, we both noticed and you and Rafael were still at odds and we knew that having more tension in the team wouldn’t be good,” Liv said. “We also knew that you don’t like being crowded. You come to us for help when you need it. And I think Nick needed reminding of that fact.”

“He definitely needed reminding,” Amanda scoffed. “And he seems to be trying.”

“I hate this,” you whine. “And he does, well, he did. Until we went to Rafael’s office, we bantered and Nick seemed agitated about it. And he stayed back for a minute or two to talk with Rafael. He wouldn’t tell me about what.”

“Hm, yes, Rafael,” Liv grinned. “That is something else.”

“What? We dealt with our shit,” you said leaning forward to refill your wine, offering the same to the other two before swiping up a few more crackers and pieces of cheese.

“Hm, yes, seems like you two are now getting along very well,” Amanda giggled, sipping more wine.

“How did you two work things out?” Liv asked curious. “I know it happened when the two of you went to the prison.”

“I had another panic attack,” you started. “He helped me through it and I don’t know even before that it seemed to be better, he bought us lunch that we could eat on the way it was…I talked about my time undercover and he, he didn’t look at me differently.”

“Why would he?” Amanda asked confused.

“There are things that only Liv knows, Amanda,” you said softly. “About the things I did. Well, Liv and my psych and now I guess Rafael.”

“It’s okay Viper,” Amanda squeezed your arm. “If you ever want someone else. Well, I am here.”

“Thanks, Manda,” you leaned against her briefly before sitting straight.

“Anything else happen on that trip?” Liv pressed.

“Well, I mean we interviewed Cooper, I reacted as one might expect when we left and he comforted me again,” you smiled softly eyes going soft as you remembered the warmth of his hand on your arm. “And he reassured me that how I felt was normal and didn’t change who I was as a person. We then…well, we bantered a little and it just seemed to click.”

“And you felt something else?” Amanda teased. “Maybe a spark?”

“Why would you think that?!” you questioned, voice going up a little in pitch as you felt a flutter inside.

“Because of the looks,” Amanda was almost exasperated in her answer. “Just today you could barely keep your eyes off of him. And the way you looked at him, well, I have never seen you look at anyone like that.”

“I don’t look at him in any way,” you protested.

“Viper, you protest too much I think,” Liv laughed. “And you do by the way. On top of that I have never seen you argue with someone the way you did with Rafael. It was very sparky.”

“Sparky?” you asked. “I don’t think I have ever heard you use that word before.”

“But it is accurate,” Amanda agreed. “The minute you two met there was a spark. And sometimes when people don’t want to acknowledge certain things they can react in the opposite way. There was a spark of attraction so when you ignored it, it came out as frustration instead.”

You bit your lip staring into the wine in your glass as you took in what Amanda and Liv were telling you. You knew there was a spark, a feeling that came up every time you saw Rafael, every time you argued with him and now every time you were in the same room as him. Amanda was right, you just didn’t want to acknowledge it. And Liv was right you were protesting too much. But you just couldn’t and didn’t want to deal with it, you and Rafael had only just gotten to a friendly stage and to even think of anything beyond that was, just not something you could think of.

“Say, you two are right,” you started. “Say I did feel a spark with Rafael, then what about the spark I felt with Nick, I mean I was drunk and I don’t think I have felt anything since the morning after.”

“There is a chance it was just an effect of the alcohol, your argument with Rafael and the fact that Nick was there when you were vulnerable,” Liv explains, refilling everyone’s wine glasses again, it was definitely that kind of night. “Are you sure you haven’t felt anything?”

“Yes, I definitely haven’t felt anything for Nick. Even before he became overbearing, I mean before that night I didn’t feel any spark,” you shrugged, “He is attractive no doubt about that but there isn’t anything.”

“Then there is nothing to worry about,” Amanda answered. “Nick is a big boy he can handle it.”

“You mean you’ll help?” you teased.

“No, little bit like you in that regard,” Amanda laughed.  “Attractive but I don’t think I could do the knight in shining amor thing either.”

“Hm, poor Nick,” you cooed. “The man just needs someone who wants a shining knight and protective man. Now enough about me.”

“No!” Amanda complained. “We need to talk more about you and Rafael. You deserve a bit of happiness, Viper and honestly so does Rafael.”

“And Rafi needs someone like you,” Liv added. “Someone who keeps him on his toes and can banter with him.”

“Ugh!” you threw back the rest of your wine and pouted, cheeks completely puffed out and your arms crossed. Liv laughed as she took your glass and refilled it again. You all had tomorrow off baring an emergency in the case as the suspects financials were still being dug out for Amanda to go through.

“Alright fine,” Amanda agreed. “I have nothing new in my life.”

“I think Cassidy and I are going to break up,” Liv stated causing you and Amanda to turn your heads to her in such a speed she almost worried your necks would snap.

“What? Why?” Amanda asked.

“Did he do something? I swear they won’t find a body,” you promised.

“Viper! Jesus, death and violence should not be your first response,” Liv laughed, you rolled your eyes knowing she secretly loved that you reacted like that.

“I don’t know, some instances it’s right,” Amanda argued. “But back to the point.”

“We don’t seem to be in sync anymore and I don’t think he thinks about the future with me,” she said, her voice was sad. “I want to think about kids but he, I don’t think he does and I don’t know if I should bring it up or how I would.”

“Liv, I’m sorry,” Amanda moved to sit on the arm of the couch wrapping her arm around Liv’s shoulder. You squeezed her arm, even though you didn’t like Cassidy you knew that Liv loved him that he had been there for her during the aftermath of Lewis. You could see Liv finally letting her walls down as she stopped pretending.

“After Lewis I think, I think it was then that things started to slowly change,” Liv continued. “But since I become a Sargeant we’ve been missing each other even more. It’s been difficult.”

“Oh Liv, I’m sure it isn’t anything either of you have done,” you said. “But you should talk to him.”

“I know, we’re planning on meeting up tomorrow for dinner,” she sighed. “I think he wants to have a talk as well. I think IAB isn’t agreeing with him either, I hope he finds what he is looking for. I truly do.”

“Of course, that’s the kind of person you are Liv,” Amanda said lightly kissing her on the cheek. You had all shuffled along on the couch, with Liv now in the middle and allowing Amanda to have a seat properly. “Kind, caring and always wants the best for the people you care about.”

“Hm, too true!” you cheered holding your glass out, a cheeky giggle leaving you. “Especially, when you get to tease those people while setting them straight!”

“I don’t tease all of them,” Liv argued.

“Oh, well, just me then? How lovely,” you teased, poking your tongue out when Liv huffed in false annoyance.

“She teases Rafael as well,” Amanda grinned leaning around Liv, her arm still around her shoulder. “See, the two of have even more in common.”

“Oh god I thought we had left that entire…thing behind!” you whined.

“Not a chance Viper,” Liv tacked on. “It’s rare for us to have something to constantly tease you over.”

“Yes, and you can’t deny that you like him!” Amanda sang. “When you first saw him, before he pissed you off, you paused and your eyes roved up and down his body.”

“That did not happen,” you pointed your finger at her.

“I was there Viper, you can’t lie to me,” Amanda said turning to Liv. “Seriously, you should have see it, our Viper almost swooned. They took a moment to say anything after I first introduced them. Never seen them like that before nor how they reacted to Rafael refuting their profile.”

“You should have recorded that!” Liv laughed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that before. Viper, that is adorable.”

“You know, I meant it as a joke earlier when I said I hate you all,” Viper muttered. “But now I mean it. You had better not mention any of this to Finn, he will never leave it alone and the two of you are enough. And don’t you dare ask Rafael about it!”

“Oh I so am,” Liv promised.

“Won’t tell Finn…but come on Viper, the guy is a shark with stuff like this he will sniff it out and then never leave you alone anyway,” Amanda pointed out grabbing some more cheese.

“Stupid detective being too good,” you said. “You guys want food food?”

The other two nodded and you decided on ordering pizza, the perfect food for drinking. These were the nights you missed the most when you had been undercover, drinking and just talking with your team. Sometimes it would be like tonight where it is only you three, sometimes all of you or any other mix of the team. The three of you continued drinking, eating and chatting until midnight and even a little after. Of course they continued to tease you about Rafael and you took it good naturedly, finding that it helped a little with the feelings that…appeared when you were near Rafael or even when you thought of him. But still, that wasn’t something you wanted to think too much on or deal with at that moment wanting to work on your friendship with the man. You thought that it would be a very good friendship.

#writing #imagine #law and order svu #gender neutral reader #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #gender neutral y/n #fluff #law and order svu imagines #imagines #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x gender neutral reader #Amanda Rollins #Oliva Benson #Friendships #Wine and cheese #Talks #Nick Amaro #odafin tutuola

[forestwaterfalls]

rollisi watching terrible reality tv eating popcorn with frannie and rocking jesse to sleep i am NAUSEOUS

#YOU ARE MARRIED!!! YOU ARE MARRIEDDDDD #yall i can’t do this i really can’t #rollins x carisi #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #jesse rollins #law & order: svu #m rambles

[daddydoddsjr]

If the Law and Order people wanted to impress someone on a date, what would they go for?

Pairings || Law and Order SVU characters x GN!Reader

Contents/Warnings || First date fluff, mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety sorta

Authors Note || sorry that asks are coming out slowly, i’ve been hyperfixating on a different fandom :’)

Rafael Barba

Flowers on the first date kinda man

Would take you somewhere expensive

Probably a quiet, fancy restaurant where the two of you could have nice conversations in a calm environment

Refuses to let you pay, not even half

If it’s going well, he’d maybe want to walk around the city afterwards so your conversations can continue

He definitely planned all of this to try to be impressive

Sonny Carisi

Instead of a restaurant, he’d want to cook for you

His cooking skills are impressive enough

But he also impresses you just by being himself— an attentive listener and a perfect gentleman

Doesn’t mean he’s not freaking out on the inside, though

You can tell

Probably would google how to impress someone on a first date tbh

Olivia Benson

Hybrid bookstore/coffee shop date

Isn’t really worried about “impressing” you, so she just acts as she normally would

Would want to pay for your coffee though

And unintentionally impresses you by the amount of books she’s read and the conversations she makes

But who wouldn’t be impressed by her in general anyways?

Amanda Rollins

Paint and sip class !!

She’s confident and isn’t very nervous

The sip part of the class definitely helps calm any nerves that arise

Thinks the paint and sip is fun for a first date

And hopes maybe it’s just a little impressive

Fin Tutuola

Wouldn’t be great at planning the date himself

Either Olivia helps or you’re the one planning the date

He’s also definitely more nervous than he says he is

Despite this, he impresses you with how funny he is

Also offers to pick you up to go wherever you decide

And pay for anything, or at least split costs if you try to decline his offer

Joe Velasco

Dinner date at his favourite restaurant

Really, really hopes you like the food as much as he does

Possibly a nightcap afterwards so you’ll have more time to talk and continue the date

He tries a little too hard to impress you by trying to show off his knowledge on any subject you bring up

But you can tell he’s anxious

But the fact that he’s trying so hard is cute

Elliot Stabler

Central park date

Walking around a bit, sitting and talking on a bench, getting drinks and food from any food carts that are around

Tries to impress you by paying for anything you want and being attentive

He’s a little awkward

And protective despite it being the first date

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #raul esparza #rafael barba #svu #olivia benson #mariska hargitay #sonny carisi #elliot stabler #peter scanavino #first dates #fin tutuola x reader #fin tutuola #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader #olivia benson x reader #joe velasco x reader #joe velasco #amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #elliot stabler x reader

[megalony]

Reliving the dream- Part 2

This is the second part of my new Rafael Barba mini-series which I hope you will all enjoy, feedback is always amazing to have.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez-blog​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @ceres27​ @thereisa8ella​ @qardasngan​

@a-brignac​​​

Masterlist

Part 3

Summary: (Y/n) and Rafael had to recover from losing their baby 2 years ago, but their lives start to change again when (Y/n) finds out she’s pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A headache formed behind (Y/n)'s eyes which seemed to be a persistent companion no matter how many times she fought it off or took painkillers to kill it. But the headache shrouded her mind from the worries she was fighting which faded into nothing and when she was at work, at least work took precedence over her personal thoughts.

Her hands fumbled to clip her gun in her hip holster and her badge onto the waistband of her jeans. She and Carisi were heading out to talk to their victim while Fin and Amanda canvased round to try and find a suspect.

"You want me to drive?" Carisi shook his car keys at (Y/n) to which she nodded before grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair and slipping her delicate arms into it.

Her eyes followed Carisi and her feet moved to keep up with him but the pair of them barely got past Amanda's desk before the only and only ADA stormed into view like a tsunami. Desperate to make everyone bow down to his every whim and will.

"Hey councillor, we're just heading out to see a vic."

The smile on Carisi's face did nothing but irritate Rafael who didn't spare him one glance as he stormed past, he simply waved his hand as if to give Carisi permission to go off on his adventures.

"You're coming with me."

(Y/n)'s heart started to stammer in her chest when Rafael held her elbow and swiftly but gently turned her around before he walked her back past her desk and towards Olivia who was just coming out of her office. A smile seemed to come to her face before she noticed the way Rafael looked perturbed, a man on a mission. And his wife was rushing to keep up with his pace but she didn't have a clue what his mission was.

"Counsellor, what can we do for you?"

"A word in your office."

Olivia held her hand out to signify he could enter and as swift as that he was passed her and stood in front of her desk. His chest was puffing out like a bird showing off their feathers or an animal getting ready for a fight and showing what they had.

"What can I do for you?" Olivia perched herself on the edge of her desk, looking at the couple with a smile but apprehension in her eyes because she didn't know where this was going. Usually Rafael told them he was coming by or more often than not they had to ring and tell him they had something for him to come and see. He didn't come in unannounced and in such a mood as this.

"I know you haven't told her Querida." Rafael whispered the words in (Y/n)'s ear and her eyes closed when a shiver crept up her spine and caused her neck to curl back.

"Now is not the time, Rafi." (Y/n) spoke through gritted teeth, her head turning to Rafael but her eyes switching between him and Olivia who was stuck on what this was about and why the secrecy about it.

"Querida you need to listen to me-"

"Rafi stop it-"

"Alright you two, enough of the domestics. Can someone tell me what I'm supposed or not supposed to know please."

A look passed between Rafael and (Y/n) as if they were egging each other on, debating who would be the one to speak but Rafael could see that (Y/n) wasn't going to. She wanted to keep it quiet, something just the two of them knew about for now. If everyone else started to know then it would be the same as before and if they got ahead of themselves then the worst would surely happen, again.

"(Y/n)'s pregnant, she needs to be on desk duty and if she told you last week then she wouldn't have been on that raid two days ago. That's not happening again, it's a risk and I am not taking it."

Rafael knew about the raid, but when he knew (Y/n) was there he knew that either she would have to tell Olivia or he would. She couldn't be going on raids anymore, even with a bullet-proof vest on she was still at risk and it was protocol for her to be on light duties from the moment she told her boss she was pregnant. He couldn't have her on full duties when he knew her anxiety was already peaked as it was.

"You are? Well congratulations. (Y/n), you can still go talk to victims and families but you know you'll be restricted where you go and no raids, no arresting the perps for now."

"Don't... don't tell anyone, please?"

Olivia looked from Rafael to (Y/n) and back again. She didn't know how she was to respond to that request. Of course she wouldn't say anything but that would only make it worse on (Y/n) when she started to show and she eventually had to tell the rest of the team. They would start to wonder why she wasn't out there searching for the perps and arresting them, this couldn't be kept quiet for long because she would start to have a bump soon.

"(Y/n), it's not for me to tell the team but they will find out soon, it might be easier for you to tell them."

"No Liv I don't want to."

"Carino, we can't keep this a secret for long-"

"No. When they know things will be different, we'll tempt fate and I'm not risking that again."

(Y/n) shook her head to try and stop the headache from worsening but it wouldn't and the room was closing in on her. Hands reaching for her, voices telling her not to overthink when overthinking would keep her and the baby safe. (Y/n) wanted it simple, safe, if it was kept quiet for now and they didn't prepare anything then when they knew for sure that the baby was okay and would continue not to be at risk, then things could start to move forward.

She pushed herself out of the office but when she was back in the main room of the precinct, it was just as stuffy and there were more eyes on her. More people trying to find out her secret she was holding deep within her. She wanted to move her hand to protect her baby but she couldn't let people know what or where her secret was.

"(Y/n)? You coming... everything okay? Counsellor?"

Carisi jumped up from sitting on top of his desk when he saw the three of them emerge from Olivia's office. But his eyes narrowed when he saw the panicked, uneasy look on (Y/n)'s face and the perplexed expression Rafael wore.

"Just leave it Carisi." Rafael shook his head in dismissal at the detective before he tried to catch up with his wife, wondering where she was trying to go.

A sigh passed through his lips and he shook his head lightly before he sped up and reached out for (Y/n)'s arm, he didn't know what she was doing but he knew what was going through her mind and he wanted to rid those thoughts. He knew she wanted things to stay secret so they could try and take it slow and not to tempt fate into repeating itself but that wasn't always the right thing to do.

"Carino solo détente y mírame!" Rafael's chest heaved and his heartbeat was pounding furiously in his ears when they reached the hallway where no one was loitering around. He grabbed (Y/n)'s hands when she slowly did as he asked and turned to look at him and when she dipped her head down he cupped her face in his hands.

He had to be loud and stern for her to stop and just breathe.

"I know what you're thinking but you need to try and calm down. We can't go through this pregnancy thinking the worst, everything will be okay."

A shuddering breath left (Y/n)'s lips when Rafael pressed a longing kiss to her temple, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks before she leaned forward and tucked her face into the crook of his neck. Breathing in his scent, his cologne, the smell was an instant relaxing drug to her and when she felt him wrapping his arms around her, she could of melted.

This is what Rafael was afraid of, that these next few months would be shrouded in panic when it should be full of excitement and anticipation. But what (Y/n) was afraid of was a repeat of what had already passed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(2 years ago)

"She's been great in prepping, she'll do great today." Amanda was nodding to herself as she spoke, her eyes looking to (Y/n) as if for some agreement or some further conversation. Their victim was coming on the stand today and although she was nervous, she had done great when Barba had been prepping her ready for the questions which might be thrown at her from the opposition.

(Y/n) nodded in agreement but she couldn't find the energy or the nerve to respond right now. She was nervous, every case they handled which went to court made her nervous, all (Y/n) wanted was justice for those who had been hurt and she wished she could make the jurors see it from her eyes sometimes.

Adjusting in her seat, (Y/n) straightened her back to try and fight off the discomfort she had been feeling for most of the day now. She felt like her back was bruised and sore but when she asked Rafael to have a look this morning he said it must just be pregnancy pains, she had no bruises or marks. Now the baby was wriggling and it was becoming... well, it was a sharp throbbing sort of feeling she felt.

A sigh escaped her lips and she slowly started to smooth her hand over her stomach absentmindedly while she watched her husband begin his light questioning of the victim.

Watching Rafael at work was always something that enamoured and intoxicated (Y/n).

The way he strutted around the courtroom like he owned the place and everyone there were just his visitors gave him an air of confidence and exuberance that no one else could match. When he kept one hand in his pocket and used the other to wave in front of him as he talked was something (Y/n) liked to watch. He would spin on the heels of his polished black shoes, he would loosen his tie when he wanted someone to trust him or he would rest his arm on the witness box to seem more approachable.

He would smile with the perp and ensnare them into his trap to then grin like the Cheshire cat when he had gotten them to admit what he wanted to hear.

(Y/n) loved it.

When he was with a victim, he was timid, quiet, calm to ensure they felt safe and to show that they were not the one who needed such harsh and tactical questioning.

But (Y/n) couldn't focus herself enough to keep watching her husband at work when normally it was so easy to follow his movements and listen to his intoxicating voice. She felt uncomfortable to the point that watching him was too much to focus on and the throbbing was too hard for her to ignore.

'Settle down baby girl.'

"You alright, you seem distracted?" Amanda leaned her head to the side, tearing her eyes away from the witness for a moment to look at (Y/n).

"Just feeling a bit rough."

(Y/n) bit her lip to keep herself more in focus but after a few minutes, her stomach pulled in and her shoulders hunched forward. Her breath stayed caught in her lungs before she slowly moved her hand further down her protruding stomach that was wriggling and sucking inwards.

(Y/n) rubbed her hand under her stomach and around the sides and for a second or two, between her legs. But when she moved her hand back, everything started to spin.

Why was there blood?

Tears were already clouding her vision and her body was slowly trembling from shock and the throbbing feeling that was turning into aches and pain pounding along with her heartbeat.

No, no, what was happening? She had been fine right up until the early hours of the morning when she felt achy and then just now in court it seemed to become more apparent. (Y/n) hadn't done anything, she didn't do anything wrong to hurt her baby or signify anything going wrong.

Managing to turn her head, (Y/n) looked at Amanda and lightly nudged her with her trembling elbow.

"I- I'm bleeding." (Y/n) could barely get the whisper past her lips but when she did, it made her heart add a few extra beats which pained her chest.

Amanda again tore her eyes away to look at (Y/n) but when she saw the little puddle of blood on her fingers, panic started to surge through her. Her body turned to look behind them at the other rows of civilians watching on with intrigue. They needed to get out quickly but as quietly as possible not to disturb the trial.

"Okay hun, let's get you out of here." Amanda moved her hands to gently hold (Y/n)'s elbow, reassuring her before trying to get her to stand so they could quietly make an exit. But then (Y/n)'s next words made that a lot trickier for Amanda to try and think about.

"I want Rafi."

Amanda moved her hand to rest on (Y/n)'s back and tried to smile reassuringly as she nodded. Barba was in the middle of a trial, he was right this second talking to a witness. But then again, if Amanda knew the sassy ADA then she knew that he wouldn't want (Y/n) to be sneaked out and taken to hospital without him knowing. And (Y/n) wasn't likely to go without him when she was scared, in pain and needed him to calm her down.

"Of course... I'll try and get him now for you just try and stay calm for me, everything is going to be okay." Amanda squeezed (Y/n)'s shoulder before she got up, leaning over so she could slowly get out of the aisle so she could try and get closer to Barba to talk to him.

She could see in (Y/n)'s eyes that the pain was now becoming very apparent and moving was going to cause a scene. If sitting down like this was uncomfortable and painful then standing and walking was going to be a lot worse.

She did feel bad, Amanda knew what she was about to do. By trying to even get Barba's attention she was going to disrupt the trial, make a set back for Barba and not to mention their poor witness who was practically shaking already and couldn't go through this again. Then there was the judge, he didn't seem the kind or forgiving type and this wouldn't seem like quite the emergency to him, Amanda would guess.

Reaching the wooden barrier that separated the court from the attorneys and witnesses, Amanda glanced around before she leaned over and tried to signal to Barba. Her fingers curled to try and get his attention and she made a small hissing noise of his name.

Rafael frowned and slowly turned around, his eyes darting from side to side before he frowned and shrugged his shoulders at Amanda when he realised she was the one hissing. He was just about finished with the witness and about to let the defendants lawyer talk to her.

"Barba we have a situation." Amanda's voice was low but the desperation in her eyes made Rafael's stomach drop to his toes.

"Mr Barba, are we keeping you from something?"

"Uh, no your Honour. No more questions for this witness, thank you." Nodding his head at the judge, Barba sat down in his seat at his desk but leaned as far back in his chair as he could manage. He turned his head slightly to the left and glanced at Amanda, curling his finger to indicate she could talk to him quickly.

"(Y/n)'s- uh, she's bleeding, Barba. There might be something wrong with the baby, I need to take her to hospital."

The moment those words hit Rafael's ears, Amanda saw the change in him immediately. His eyes darkened until they were black holes, every muscle in his face tensed and the veins in his neck were pulsating against his taught skin that was turning redder by the milisecond. When his eyes landed on his wife, Amanda could see Hell letting loose inside of him.

Rafael felt like he couldn't breathe when he caught just one glimpse of his beloved. She was leaning over like she wanted to fold in on herself but also didn't want to draw anyone's attention. But when her eyes looked up, he could see the terror hidden behind them. She was in pain, he knew when she was overjoyed, sad, pained, troubled and the happiest in the world. This was definitely a bad situation.

"Mr Barba, is there a problem? You do realise you are still required to listen to the defence, don't you?"

In a matter of seconds, Rafael snapped to his feet like a coiled spring, uttering the words 'approach the bench' without even requesting it before he was stood in front of the judge's box.

"I request a continuance your honour, an urgent personal matter has arisen and I need to leave."

"Leave? Mr Barba this court does not revolve around you, there is one more witness on the list today. What is the personal matter you have to attend to? If it is relevant then you may go and court will be adjourned."

The irritation was plain as could be on Rafael's face, this was not the time or the place for the judge to be criticising whether his personal problem was of relevance or not. It should be taken on account that if he was saying he had to go then clearly something was wrong. Rafael never had to leave court for any personal reason before in his time as an ADA. He had a high reputation and only wanted continuances when it was for his clients or witnesses, not himself.

"My wife is in the court today and she's suffering a pregnancy complication, I need to take her to a hospital." Rafael's palm started to tap on the wooden counter of the box and his foot rapidly beat against the polished floor. He had to go and he had to go now whether he was allowed or not.

"Finish today's agenda then go and be with your wife-"

"No that's not-"

"Security, please help Mrs Barba out of the courtroom and find a medic and get an ambulance. Court will not be adjourned, back to your desks gentlemen."

Rafael couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew Judge Mason was not the kind of man to go easy on anyone, witness or not but he didn't think he would be this cold-hearted. This was an emergency, it was a desperation that Rafael had to go and be with (Y/n). When he turned to look back at her he could see the panic and the anguish in her watering eyes as she shook her head, trying to fight off the security. She would leave with Rafael and Amanda, no one else.

Even the defence had a look of sympathy for Rafael's predicament, this wasn't the time for the Judge to be playing God in the courtroom and it was clearly distressing for a few people here.

"Your Honour with all due respect that is my wife and unborn child, I am not waiting in court when I need to take her to the hospital. There will be a continuation or you carry on without me."

Rafael slammed his hand down on the counter a little harsher than he should have but his adrenaline and anger were getting the better of him. He was going whether he was told he had permission or not, his wife and baby were worth more than this job and everything else in his life put together. His anger was coming out and he wasn't going to be able to control himself for much longer, whether that meant he was in contempt of court or not.

"Mr Barba! If you walk out of this court you will be found in contempt and there will be grounds for mistrial."

"Esta corte puede besarme el culo."

The words came out in an angered but quiet tone, spat rapidly from Barba's lips on the premise that the judge couldn't speak his mother tongue. If anyone in the court spoke Spanish then they would have realised that he had told the judge that the court could kiss his ass. By the look on the judge's face, he wasn't sure what had been said but it was sure not to be something kind.

He didn't bother to turn and look back at the judge before he stormed past his desk and bent down on his knees in front of where (Y/n) was sitting. Shouts and murmurs could be heard all around them, the jury were being told to disregard what they had heard. Court was dismissed pending a meeting as to what had happened today.

"Carino, mi amour what's happened? Talk to me." The desperation in Rafael's voice could be heard from a mile away.

When he looked up at his wife, he saw that her face was absolutely drenched with tears, her eyes just barely managing to open and focus on him and her whole body was trembling and shaking. But the growing patch of blood between her thighs on her jeans was making Rafael's adams apple bob up and down and he went back to the old habit of straightening his tie and pulling down his shirt to try and control his mounting anxiety.

"We're gonna get you straight to the hospital, I'm not leaving you alone, carino."

(Y/n) reached her shaking hand out and grabbed Rafael's hand, entwining their fingers together causing his arm to shake from how badly she was trembling. She felt the slightest bit calmer when she felt him kissing the back of her hand but she could see the worry pooling into his orbs and that was never a good sign.

"I've got you, carino."

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