#and Floyd’s like what is wrong with the cat why’s the cat like that and how do I have this cat

[idiaa-shroxd]

THE PREFECT’S CAT CAFE ꒱ ❝ dormleaders. ❞

SUMMARY: after an off-handed comment made by Idia, you find yourself taking what he said into genuine consideration. instead of just bringing some cats into your guest room though, why not find a way to have both cats and profits while being comfy?

warnings; gn!reader x dormleaders. long post. the keep reading line may repeat a bit of text, but please continue reading if it does. inspired by this video. by interacting with this post you agree you’ve read through my navigation and i hold no responsibility for the content you view. part i. part ii. part iii.

PROLOGUE.

“Are you really sure about this, Henchman?” Grim asks, crossing his arms as he huffs, jealousy laced in his voice. He was used to your occasional strange idea, but he considered something to be sincerely wrong with you at the moment if you thought bringing other stray cats into his territory were a smart idea, not to mention the way you were cuddling them and scratching their bellies. Where did you even find this many cats? Did you make a deal with Azul?

Puffing your cheek slightly, you ignore your cat’s comment while putting the collar on the last one. “Do you want to have fancy tuna?” You reply, fixing the collar’s bow as you smile at your hard work. “You’re not believing in me, Grim. This is an untapped market potential, in case you forgot we have a whole dorm here at school dedicated to gamers and introverts practically. And you know what they like? Cats and silence!” You tell him as you look at your array of cats.

You’d found yourself surprised that Professor Trein actually entertained your question if he knew where to find cats on sage island, even more so when Crowley eventually relented to letting you keep a few cats in exchange for not bringing up the fact you’ve been through how many overblots against him for awhile. This was a chance you could not lose. “There’s cat cafe’s in my world with relatively simple rules and a quiet atmosphere. We simply need to make it a reality, and lucky for us we have a magical furniture tool and an investor.” You say, getting up from the chair and walking toward your little notebook to check off another item off the list.

“You have an investor?” He asked, not quite believing you as he raised a brow. Hearing his disbelief you chuckle a little, pointing your pen at a corner of the room to which he jumps in surprise, letting out a shock ‘nyagh!’ “Idia has been here for the past two hours, ever since I told him what I was going to do. I don’t know how or why he has money, but he has it and that’s enough for me.” You say, Grim still surprised he hadn’t notice Idia once in well over two hours. He still wasn’t convinced on your plan, but if it got him tuna and money, your plan surely can’t be that bad?

HEARTSLABYUL. riddle rosehearts.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS.

“Are there any rules I need to follow while I’m here?” Riddle asks, a little antsy as it were his first time in a room with so many cats before. It were against the queen’s rules to bring cats to a formal affair, but this wasn’t too formal, it were a cafe. And you did get explicit permission from the headmage so indulging in you just a tiny bit wouldn’t hurt, right? With a laugh, you point in the direction of one of the walls with the rules on display next to a signed plaque from the headmaster giving his approval to your whims.

“The rules are really simple. No forcing or disturbing the cats, do not go around picking them up, do not let them have your drinks, and refrain from running around and making too much noise. Outside drinks, food, and shoes are not permitted for sanitary reasons. You can only feed the cats treats sold by the prefect or in the gacha machines, and you have to log in which cat you’ve fed to ensure one cat doesn’t get particularly overweight.” You read off the board the rundown as he nodded, determined to follow the rules. As he stepped inside your now transformed guest room, his eyes sparkled as one of the cats immediately begun purring at him. Perhaps a cat cafe truly wasn’t too bad a place.

Riddle was really weary of your little project when you first told him about it. He really stopped lecturing you after you explained you had all the proper permission and even an investor. He had no idea who on campus would help you with this, but after hearing it were Idia he thought that maybe you were actually a bit more serious than he realized about your cat cafe plans. He takes awhile to convince to actually come, but after maybe seeing a picture you text him of the kitties with the caption, “I want Riddle to play with me!” he concedes ever so slightly into your demands.

His eyes light up in genuine happiness as little cats meow at his feet. His only other real experience with cats was Grim as his mother would not let him near them, but now he understands what the appeal to cats is about. They’re all so soft and he may use an occasional toy, but he also gets to hear their affection purrs as they nudge him nearly making him forget why he was so angry just ten minutes prior when he was collaring a student again. He isn’t a regular since he’s busy, but whenever you happen to ask he tries to make time, only because you’ve asked him to or his dorm members ask him to visit, not because he’s succumbed to being a cat person, he says, lying through his teeth.

His favorite cat is a Queendom of Roses (British) shorthair with pure dark grey fur and orange-yellow eyes. He wasn’t too sure how to act around the cats but this one plopped it’s chubby body onto his lap while nipping at his hand demanding to be pet while meowing right to his face and Riddle could not say no to that face. The cat is not as furry as the others and he quite prefers that, less hair to clean off of his clothes. He thought he would of preferred a less demanding cat, but Sesame is very calming and distracting for his anger. He at some point also noticed cat collar’s slightly changing and asked you about it.. and you found a gift from him, more specifically Sesame received a gift. His previous yellow collar replaced with a higher quality rose-red collar with white outlines of rose petals engravings. Now instead of a silent bell he had a rose attached to the front of the collar, and at the back of the collar was a bow designed to resemble leaf petals.

Absolutely plays favorites, he’s still a bit weary for long haired cats to approach him but won’t tell them to go away, and he always feels guilty if he pets a cat that is not Sesame. He would be willing to buy cat popsicles and cat treats on occasion but tries not to overly them as he knows you’re trying to not get them to be overweight and stay within a healthy range. He’s also able to get some work done when he visits, though not too often as his cat takes up most of his time and does not like him to share his attention with his paperwork, deliberately plopping down onto the paper if he deems he has not received enough attention. You could probably get away with asking him a single stupid question while he is relaxed. Only one, so use that question wisely.

Overall is a good guest since he keeps quiet to himself and his cat, and if he’s talking he’s really quiet about it since he respects your rules. He follows every single one to heart, not only that but also makes sure other guests are taking it to heart as well.

SAVANACLAW. leona kingscholar.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR.

“Shut up, herbivore.” The beastmen hissed as you tried to hide your overly smug expression. “I haven’t even said anything yet, Kingscholar.” You tease as he opens one of his eyes and snarls at you in a nonthreatening manner, one hand running through his hair as the other runs his fingers through the fur of the sleeping cat on his chest, unable to stop you from taking pictures without disturbing said cat.

“Aren’t you two adorable?” You can’t help but snicker as you snap another photo of the annoyed beastman. You were definitely going to post this on your magicam story when you were free. Distracted by your phone, you fail to notice his ears twitching ever so slightly as he looks away from you, his face just a little bit darker in color than before as he shuts his eyes, going back to sleep.

Leona had no interest in being friendly with a bunch of strays you brought in from who knows where. He actually laughed in your face the first time you offered him some coupon to your cat cafe, he had no interest being near rowdy students. That was until he had the most annoying day alive, a conversation twice with Malleus in a single hour and he used you as his stress relief, nearly knocking you onto the floor as he plopped onto you after following you into your cat cafe.

No one else was there as you hadn’t opened, and he understood the appeal. The room wasn’t overcool with regulated temperatures perfect for a cat, with dim lighting and soft music. You even had different parts of your cafe for different guests as you place him onto one of the longer sofas, finally getting him off of you as you poor him a drink and listen to his complaint. At some point he had a group of cats just laying on him and purring against him and snuggling and he’s fallen asleep, not waking up until you inform him you’re closing for the night, and not to move too abruptly with the cat still sleeping on his chest.

His favorite cat had claimed him during their first fateful encounter, being a persian breed. The cat is very fluffy with creamy white fur and golden eyes, enjoying swaying her tail against Leona’s nose and kneading at his chest, arms, feet, wherever she gets her paws on. She does not enjoy being disturbed but does enjoy the occasional pet and spends most of her time just napping with Leona and pawing at him. He claims the cat is noisy every once in awhile but he can be seen petting her with one hand as the other shields his eyes as he lays down, letting her purr against him. He flat out told you he was replacing her stupid black collar with a new one, a brown silk collar that’s just a tad bit loose, with a few golden engravings and a beautiful bow on the back in a lighter brown and golden moons. Nebula also gets cat popsicles every once in awhile that he gets Ruggie to buy from you.

He is used to a bunch of different cats crawling over him as they seem to naturally approach him, and he’s very smug about that to Malleus, but he does have his favorite. Nebula is his number one cat and he will pick her up even though you have a no disturbing the cats rule and he will place her beside him as he has a drink as he lays down in his unofficial spot while she climbs atop him and goes to take a nap. He’s not jealous but he just does not allow other people to touch his cat is all. Whenever you come over to bring him a drink he’s trying to pull you down and shamelessly puts an arm around you as you ignore his clinginess and return back to your cats and cafe. May use a cat toy on occasion but not when you are watching because you get a stupid grin and ask him if he feels like pawing at the toy and he tries not to leave you on a street corner.

Overall a horrible guest but a decent guest. He definitely does not follow every rule and acts grumpy but he’s very quiet except the occasional snore. He will also take a very long time to leave because you need to scratch his ears because he’s not “fully awake”. But in terms of cat parenting he’s a pretty good guest.

OCTAVINELLE. azul ashengrotto.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO.

“So… do you still want to complain?” You ask, raising a brow as you stare at the bespectacled boy with a smug grin. He swore that there was zero charm to a cat cafe and that you stole his business from him just two weeks ago, but now he had a cup of coffee between his fingers sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed, a purring cat on his lap with documents on the table spread out as he worked. Azul’s face flustered a slight tint of red as he let out a small cough much to your and the twin’s amusement.

“That was the past, prefect. We found a way to make this arrangement mutual benefitting now, no need to bring up old problems.” He tries to sound professional as you snicker. Two weeks ago was not really a distant past, but you did work thing out. “Whenever you want a refill just let me know, I’ll leave you guys alone for now, I’ve got more to do.” You say, deciding not to tease the octomer further as you retreat back into the kitchen, leaving him to be teased by his two ‘friends’.

Azul had stormed into your establishment one day with a single goal in mind, to figure out how you had stolen his business. He came perplexed, how were you allowed cats on campus? Where did you get the money for renovation? Who was your supplier? Most importantly why did everyone favor the prefect’s cat cafe over the Monstro Lounge with quality service and quality food?

He had sat you down trying to be scary but you ended up putting him. You had offered him a proposal of a collaboration. If anyone orders a special item off the Monstro Lounge menu that day before coming into your cafe they’d be eligible to receive a little something from your cafe for free such as a cat popsicle or an extra thirty minutes added onto their time. He was weary at first but people came to the Monstro Lounge as though they were giving away free money as they came in groups. You both benefitted from this as you did not want food near your kitties that weren’t for them as that posed health and safety issues. He doesn’t know how but he also finds himself on occasion coming to your cafe during breaks as it was surprisingly calming despite his absolute hatred for these innocent cats when he originally entered.

His favorite cat is a Queendom of Roses (British) longhair with dark orange-esque fur with a fluffy white front and light blue eyes. He has no clue as to how but somehow this cat became his favorite as he purred against Azul’s shoes, nudging at him before eventually crawling into his lap. The cat makes little disturbance as Azul works, the purring soothing the octomer as he finishes up, occasionally finding his sleeves being tugged at when Butterscotch declares he’s been working enough by demanding pats. Butterscotch has also found himself on the end of receiving a lot of cat popsicles recently, and a collar upgrade. His collar went from a plain leathery texture to some high quality collar blue collar with tentacle engravings, and a sea patterned bowtie at the front of the collar, the center being a pretty shell.

He entertains other cats but keeps an eye out for his favorite, always reserving his lap space just for him. He mainly spends his time at the cafe after a large rush or when he has time off to work in the silence with his cat instead of the silence of his office. He actually finds himself working a lot faster in your cafe than all alone and he gets free refills on his coffee, so technically he is profiting than if he used his own supply, he justifies to himself. When he finishes work he may on occasion be found talking to you attempting to flirt poorly as you remain oblivious as he has no interest in manga or gaming. May occasionally be found brushing his favorite kitty’s fur and telling him he is going to become fat like he once was then still feeding him the treat regardless because he is very polite.

Overall is a very good guest as long as he has his kitty. Gets a bit antsy if he has to spend his time without his favorite as though he had been replaced but does not cause a scene or whine. Please make sure before you close he gets to squish his cat’s paw and knows he has not been replaced with a different cat dad.

SCARABIA. kalim al-asim.

KALIM AL-ASIM.

“Aha, prefect! Could I have another cat treat, please?” Kalim pleaded with you as you shake your head, doing your best at giving the puppy eyed dorm leader a firm no. He already had two today, that was enough. “But look at Taffy, she’s starving!” He says as you raise a brow, staring at the cat that was getting plumper by the day.

“Kalim, I love you like my actual child but no more. She’s even eating the other cat’s leftovers now at lunch time.” You scold the boy as he apologizes and pleads he will stop after maybe just one more treat as you sigh, putting your foot down and eyeing Jamil pleadingly who only pretends he can’t see you as he plays with his cat. “I’ll even pay four times the amount!” He said, pouting as you shook your head, ready to dive into the same discussion you’ve had with him the past three days.

Two hours, that is how long it took for Kalim to hear about your business venture and ask, beg, you to let him see. Apparently Idia had told Ortho who told the board game club members and word got around to Cater and Cater told him and Lilia and now he was bouncing off the walls in excitement with Jamil in tow. He was already prepared to meet the kitties and Jamil said it was okay so could you please go now? When he hears that there’s rules to follow he listens intently and follows them as best as he can remember, but he’s just so excited about the cats and trying your drinks! Also looking at the interior and more. Wait you also have gaming pcs and manga? He has to check those out too! His hyperactiveness could not be contained and you were a little concerned for the cats.

You were right to assume Kalim could not be contained for more than two seconds as he pspspspss at all of the kitties, toy in both hands as he was already playing with them, cats crawling on his lap and nudging at him, biting at him playfully and surrounding him as he held a cat popsicle out towards them, talking your’s and Jamil’s ears off about how fluffy and wonderful of a place this is. He had to tell every single person in his dorm about it, and his family, and people from other dorms as well, this was the greatest place on campus so far! Do you also need help buying the cat food or anything? He’d be willing to be another investor in a heartbeat but Jamil talks him out of it, partially. His favorite thing is official a cat in his lap as he drinks your own tea brew that he gifted you from his country… which may cost more than your entire life.

His favorite cat is a maine coon with black fur and green eyes. This cat has the world’s finest at her fingertips if she just meows. Kalim knows it’s wrong to pick favorites but he can’t deny that she is his favorite when she headbutts his chin and meows at him for minutes at a time even if he’s petting her. She’s extremely fluffy and starting to become pudgier but he doesn’t mind that as he gets her more treats. Her pink collar has long since been discarded as she now has a full wardrobe, but her collar is now the finest white silk and handmade embroidery with real gemstones and solid gold for the silent bell. Even the bow on the back of the collar is large and beautiful, she’s worth more than the students that actually visit the cafe and you hope you aren’t robbed.

Kalim does play favorites but also doesn’t. Things are very clear he has a favorite cat but he will play with any and every cat that approaches him. He respects your do not disturb the cat rule, really, but he just really wants to pet every single kitty. He always says he wants to try one of the pcs but ends up forgetting as he works on his homework failing to pay attention while petting Taffy and giving her kisses and then eventually falling asleep because he’s all tired out. He has read a few of the mangas but he reads it to Taffy specifically and Jamil has to remind him to be quiet for your other guests. He may have also asked his family to visit your cafe so you may be visited by one of the world’s richest couple in the future when the campus opens for outside guests.

Overall a great guest for the cats but a nightmare for you as he looks like a sad puppy when you refuse to let him buy treats. Also occasionally forgets and makes a loud noise when he enters and sees his favorite cat, and he can be a little distracting because he can’t sit still for too long at times.

POMEFIORE. vil schoenheit.

VIL SCHOENHEIT.

“When in Twisted Wonderland did this happen..?” You mutter to yourself as you brewed another cup of tea for Vil using the brand he specifically gave you for himself when he visited. He was adamantly refusing to even set foot in your guest room after hearing what you had done, but now Rook was taking a photo of him elegantly sitting down in one of your lounge chairs with a cat on his lap, purring loudly looking at the camera as though she understood how to pose and was a natural born model.

You bring the tea over to his table as he thanks you, lifting the cup and saucer elegantly as Rook takes a photo, already singing praises on how great it would look on his magicam as Vil looks confidently smug. You couldn’t believe this all happened just because Rook had said something about Neige and how cute it would be for a boy like him to be surrounded by cats. “Thank you for your patronage.” You say with a small smile on your lips, amused. Well at least a happy Vil is free promotion for your business on campus.

Vil was happy for you, really, but he was not going to visit the cat cafe even if you pleaded by his feet and rose someone from beyond this mortal realm to drag him in. That was until he heard Rook talking to you and Epel about how Neige would surely be so beautiful surrounded with cats and you agreeing and throwing in a comment about how it would make him seem more likeable and relatable. He knew Rook was a Neige fanboy but he couldn’t have you converting into one too, are you forgetting he’s the fairest of them all, and the only celebrity you should praise like that? If it is relatability you truly desire he can spare one afternoon at your cat cafe since he needs to check up on the place his dorm members have been spending their time at recently to ensure it is up to Pomefiore standard.

He originally looked as though he was going to fight one of the cats with how he was trying to mentally tell the long haired cats to stay away from him. He was so intimidating to even the cats that none were willing to approach him but one, a very snooty girl that begun pawing at his ankles, jumping up into his lap and kneading him as she claimed her seat. He found her demeanor pleasantly charming as she wasn’t that furry and she was good enough, he thought. He managed to get some high quality photos that did trend on magicam for the rare domestic sight of the Vil Schoenheit and a cat. It was surprisingly soothing for him and he did eventually come back where the cat once again claimed him as her’s.

His favorite cat is a siamese with cream white fur and black siamese patterns and bright blue eyes. She’s rather thin and does not shed fur all over his lap like some of the other cats. He makes sure to keep her fur shiny as he brushes her down and uses some toys on her. He refrains from often buying treats as she doesn’t seem fond of them and he doesn’t want her to be too overfed, a model should keep a strict diet. Her collar was replaced without even informing you, the old white one did not fit his or apparently her standard so he simply had to replace it for her. It was a pretty fancy dark blue color with golden engravings in the pattern of pomefiore’s insignias, a purely custom design, with a pretty bow in front, with a silent bell. It’s hard to believe she was ever a stray at one point.

He does not entertain most of the other cats beyond looking at them as he pets Iris. He knows his cat is a complete snob and will likely not entertain other guests, perched up high in her cat tree bed until he comes along so he would never cheat on her with being another cat’s dad. He has full faith that he is the only one that she will ever go to so he does try to stop by every once in awhile to make sure she’s getting the attention and grooming that is needed for a cat of her standard. He’s not into your gaming pcs or your manga corners, but does appreciate you do have school textbooks to borrow and a quiet study nook so that he can elegantly pet Iris with a cup of fine tea while doing his assignments as Rook fawns over them.

Overall a very good guest as long as you leave him alone. Follows your rules, does not talk loudly or much, and goes above and beyond with taking care of your cat that you begin to think it’s actually his cat he’s just letting you keep. You’re a little concerned he may just tell you he’s taking your cat with him once you graduate, but he is a rather good cat dad, at least!

IGNIHYDE. idia shroud.

IDIA SHROUD.

“I-di-a” You coo, bending down and whispering in the ear of the man currently on the floor, two cats surrounding him as he feeds them cat treats. The blue haired boy physically jolts upwards letting out a small whimper of utter shock of being spoken to as you chuckle. “Are you having fun?” You ask as he blushes, looking away from you as he turns his attention back to the cat pawing at his pant leg. “Ehehe, this is even better than watching the series finale to an anime live.” He whispers as one of the orange kitties crawls into his arms, headbutting him.

“You flatter me, glad to know you think so highly of my hard work. Ahem, our hard work.” You say as you pick up the other kitty, fixing their collar as you lightly run your fingers through the cat’s fur. Giving the cat a kiss to his nose and boop, you set him back down as you notice Idia staring at you only to blush insanely red as he looked away quickly from being caught. “Thank you for your hard work… prefect.” He quickly whispers much to your amusement.

Idia has become the number one patron. From the second class ends to the time you close for the evening Idia is right there petting the kitties. He’d actually volunteered to work for free, not as a waiter or anything but as a sort of cat playmate. He’d make sure the cats are satisfied and not bored and no one can touch him or look at him, but you said no, he needs to share the cats.

He’s the reason your wifi is amazing despite your run down dorm, and he makes sure absolutely everything regarding technology is perfect. It took him a bit to understand what you want and why that was necessary beyond you just saying cat cafes in your world have these things, but he understands what bliss is now. Anytime some machine seems even remotely broken he fixes it at a record pace.

His favorite cat had claimed him awhile back. A pure white ragamuffin that is extremely fluffy. The cat is extremely docile and she’d claim her spot in his lap, purring as he’d read manga or play on one of the cafe pcs, occasionally nibbling his finger when he squirms too much from gamer rage. Her original collar was a nice shade of orange, but he not so subtly changed it into one he got. A pretty light baby blue shade with small jewel engravings, a little silent bell at the front with a pretty bow on the back with golden stripes. You are partially convinced he genuinely does believe Ivory is his firstborn child.

He does play with other cats but has a favorite. He always pays for one cat popsicle a day at minimum to feed the cats and pays for other cat treats whenever he can because he is weak. He also is rigged at crane games so he can easily snack through the day never leaving the cafe. There are occasions you tell him stop feeding human snacks to the cat, they will get chubby. He ends up looking super offended on behalf of the kitties you dare said any one of them are chubby. When he’s not pampering the cats you can find him gaming in one of the pcs, grinding through an event. At moments like these do not approach him and leave him alone so he can forget he is actually in public and not his bedroom.

Overall a very respectful guest. He’s quiet, makes sure to respect the boundaries of the cats and the rules you’d set up, and does not cause any scenes. The only issue is getting him to leave may be a little difficult as he tries to give one more kiss… Or that he tries to come on your days off just to keep the little babies company. there’s also the occasion every so often that you can feel his gaze on you, only for you to catch him as he hides his face, the tips of his hair turning pink as he watches you work.

DIASOMNIA. malleus draconia.

MALLEUS DRACONIA.

“Child of man, could I please have one of those.. cat ice creams I believe they’re called?” Tsunotarou asked, eyes sparkling ever so slightly in childlike wonder as you let out a charming laugh, handing him a popsicle that was specifically made for cats to eat. He had always been fond on ice cream but now he had the ability to share it with someone else he liked, the cat that had claimed him a few weeks ago.

“Just one though, we don’t want to feed them too much now.” You say but know it will fall on deaf ears as you didn’t wish to ruin his fun. You didn’t think he had experience with cats before so you were pleasantly surprised one of your cats had practically claimed him, but it all worked out. “Worry not child of man, I won’t give him too many treats. Though I’m sure if I too were eating your cooking right now I wouldn’t be able to stop myself either.” Flustered by his comment, you leave him to play with the cat as you retreat behind the counter, he really was dangerous for reasons different than rumors.

He heard about your business venture from Lilia and was ready to pay a visit not caring if he scared off your guests but halted in his tracks when he heard you telling Sebek you were going to invite him. His mind tells him he has won the lottery and he retreats to fix his outfit waiting in the lounge for an hour until you reach Diasomnia’s doorsteps to speak with him. He is not listening as you greet him with a hug and tell him you’d like for him to come to Ramshackle for a surprise. Something about you also not opening the cafe today so it’d just be you and him so he’d be comfy, there’s really no reason to try and continue speaking he’s been charmed for over an hour, prefect.

He practically vibrates from sheer joy as he’s frozen, then rapidly shaking, then beaming as a cat waltzes up to him as though he owns the prince. He basically blue screens momentarily as the cat with such soft fur and pure innocent eyes meows up at him, pawing at his feet to be picked up. He picks up the cat as you watch curiously, finally figuring out he wasn’t listening to you at all as he stares at the cat’s eyes and then your’s. “Our child is beautiful.” He says as you raise a brow, shrugging it off as you tell him you’d brew him a black coffee and to sit wherever he would like. He instead chooses to sit at the counter bar, watching you and the cat that’s on his lap nipping at his fingers and demanding his attention as well. For the first time in awhile he feels as though something doesn’t fear him other than you.

His favorite cat is a ragdoll cat with white fur and black splotches and deep blue eyes. He claims this cat is your child and you have no idea what he’s thinking of but he seems happy as he shamelessly pulls out a cat toy and plays with him. Also slightly insults the cat by calling him brave or stupid as though a cat can comprehend what he means while mewling at him. Also asks you if he can also have a custom collar after Lilia tells him about his cat, and after you allow him to replace the old red collar he’s excited. Black is the color of royalty in the briar valley and Oatmeal has the privilege of wearing it on his new collar. A pretty black collar with green wings beside a silent bell that may be made of actual gold, along with a little dragon hood-cape and short plush horns you got him so your boys match.

Very possessive of Oatmeal. He will applaud other cats if they dare approach him but everyone knows he has a bias. He practically has been claimed by his cat and no one else is brave enough to go near his cat and no cat is brave enough to approach him, they are a perfect match. He has tried to take your cat back to Diasomnia but you have to remind him that the cat stays with you, he needs a proper schedule, friends, and he needs to stop being fed so many treats. He’s also incredibly smug about it and will come to the cafe on your off days as he talks to you petting Oatmeal and glaring at Leona on the opposite couch who’s busy petting Nebula but refrains from getting physical or suffer your wrath. You’d kicked both men out for an entire weekend.

Overall a good guest personally, but his reputation may cause some people to be scared of visiting. Regardless, he’s very polite to you and treats his cat very good, making sure to give him treats and enough exercise with a toy. May also overpay for coffee and start fights with Leona when you aren’t even open yet. In fact, how on earth did the two of them even get into your cafe? You literally just woke up and they’re spitting insults at one another.

EPILOGUE.

“Fnaygh! I guess I really am a business genius, Henchman.” Grim said as he dug into a can of fancy tuna, one that you had bought without having to worry about your budget for once. You expected success from Ignihyde students, but it seemed like your little business venture went above and beyond with students from all different dorms trying to be booking ahead of time and trying to visit your cat cafe.

“Right right, you’re the genius, Grim.” You laugh in response to your friend as you finished checking on the other cats, finishing up for the evening. In terms of profit, almost every single day you were fully packed with as much people you’d allow in at once, and you had to temporarily increase the charging rates. Despite the increase people still begun to visit, who knew the school filled with villainous kids would be so excited to pet some cats? Especially your regulars, they adored these cats enough they got the cats gift, not you, but the cat.

It was tough work to manage the guest room cafe all by yourself though, you had to admit to yourself. Perhaps you should take up Ace’s offer and idea at hiring some part time employees, your first year friends had already offered, so maybe you’d start training them for help?

a bit of a long post but i have had this thought for awhile ever since reading Idia’s guest room lines? So I figured I would just turn my headcanon into an actual written work. I have more ideas though for a separate post, but I am unsure if I’ll post it, but I do need to share my thought’s of Floyd’s favorite cat being a sphynx cat named prune that is very vocal and has a cozy ugly little sweater that Floyd likes to bathe with you.

©idiaa-shroxd. do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works to train ai.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst wonderland #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #riddle x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #kalim x reader #vil x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #please ignore my rant but IMAGINE floyd with a sphynx named prune that has little sweaters #and Floyd’s like what is wrong with the cat why’s the cat like that and how do I have this cat #the sheer audacity the cat has to have no fur AND wear clothes? #that’s all. he owns the cat now. the cat looks at him with hairless face and Floyd is amazed. #also managed to pull FG Ortho!

[roosterforme]

Explicitly Yours | Bob Floyd x Reader

Summary: When Bob met you, he fell for you hard and fast. He thought you might be his perfect match, the one that would make his days feel full instead of lonely. He never would have dreamed you had a secret. But secrets are known to be revealed at the most inconvenient of times, and Bob's surprised hesitation could cost him the thing he wants most.

Warnings: Smut, oral, fluff, angst, misogyny, language, mentions of adult film industry

Length: 11k words (what have I done?)

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Former Pornstar!Female Reader

This was written for International Bob Floyd Fucks Month hosted by @attapullman. Check my masterlist for more! Banner by @thedroneranger

Bob was fresh off of a long deployment when he returned to work at North Island on Monday morning to find he would begin training as part of a new taskforce. He was tired and antsy, still overstimulated from being around so many people on the aircraft carrier, but he was also realizing how lonely he was. 

He'd arrived back to a sterile, empty, dusty apartment, slept for two days, and now he was back to work. He couldn't even have a cat or a houseplant. He really would like to have a cat or a houseplant. Mostly he thought about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend. A sweet one who would wait for him to return home so his apartment didn't feel so sad. One who didn't mind that sometimes he preferred it to be quiet. One who would let him dote on her a little bit when he was home.

When he was told to report to Classroom Six in his uniform instead of the tarmac in his flight suit, Bob knew it was going to be a long day. That idea only grew as soon as he walked in and was accosted by his friends. "You're back!" Natasha screeched, streaking across the room like a brunette cannonball and slamming into his arms. "It's not even fair that we weren't deployed together. I missed you!"

"Missed you too, Nat. Thanks for all the emails."

Then he felt Bradley, Jake and Javy all jostling him around until his glasses were crooked on his face. That's probably why he did a double take when he saw you. There was no way you were that beautiful. His glasses must need to be adjusted on his face. But he was wrong. You looked the same after he pushed his wire frames back into place. 

He swallowed hard and whispered, "Who's that?"

The guys all looked at him with matching smirks, and Javy told him your name. "Civilian. She's Warlock's new assistant. Got reassigned from a different department last week."

"She's real cute," Jake added. "And she looks so familiar."

"Why does she look so familiar?" Bradley asked, and Bob realized that the whole group was staring at you where you were conversing quietly with Warlock. "We've been trying to figure it out for a week."

You didn't look familiar to Bob. You just looked pretty with bright eyes and a friendly smile, both of which were trained on him now. Of course you were looking his way now, because everyone had mussed up his hair and wrinkled his uniform. He didn't mind so much that you caught him staring, because you were the kind of woman who must get that a lot.

"Lieutenant Floyd," Admiral Bates said as he stood, and Bob saluted his superior officer immediately. "Welcome back."

"Sir," Bob replied, doing his best not to let his gaze drift back to you. "Thank you."

Then Warlock called the room to order, and Bob ended up sitting in the front row, directly across from you. Barely six feet away. You were so pretty, it wasn't even funny. The curve of your face and your neck and the way you moved were mesmerizing. Smooth and fluid. Confident. Beautiful. You kept Warlock on task and seemed to have all the pertinent information about the class memorized. But all of it was lost on Bob, because he was way too distracted. 

By lunchtime, he had sweat through his undershirt, and he was sure his uniform shirt wasn't looking much better. The way you turned to look directly at him with a slightly guarded expression when you stood made him blush. It must be obvious to you that Bob couldn't keep his eyes off your face.

"Hi," you greeted. "Lieutenant Floyd."

Bob swallowed hard before something that sounded vaguely like Hello came out of his mouth. 

Your smile was tinged with a little sadness as you stuck out your hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting the last team member. Welcome back from deployment, Lieutenant."

And then you were walking away, but Bob was still sweating.

--------------------------

For the next four days, Bob got there early to ensure he had that same front row seat. He had a full blown crush. Heart pounding, palms damp, unable to focus on anything other than his crush on you. When he wasn't at work looking right at you, he was daydreaming about you. When he wasn't daydreaming about you, he was asleep and having actual dreams where you were his girlfriend. In one of them, you gave him a back massage, and he woke up with an erection. 

He could barely even look at you for the nauseous feeling that took up residence just below his pounding heart, but he couldn't look anywhere else. He'd never been like this before. Sure, he'd been attracted to many women in the past, but this was something else entirely. 

"But why is she so familiar looking?" Jake asked Bradley at lunch. "You sure you didn't fuck her?"

"Oh, I think I'd remember fucking someone that looked like that," Bradley replied with a chuckle. "Wait... did you fuck her?"

"I don't think so?" Jake replied, looking a little panicked. "She's not the one I went home with on my birthday, is she? Because you know I can't remember that night. And if I fucked her and can't remember it, then I deserve to be executed."

They both erupted into laughter with Javy, and Bob felt deflated. One of the three of them was definitely going to ask you out sooner rather than later, and instead of getting an occasional guarded glance in his direction, Bob would have nothing.

That night at the bar, he sat with his cup of peanuts and talked with Nat about work while everyone else played pool. "I guess we have another week or two of lectures ahead of us, but I can't wait to get back in the air."

"Yeah," Bob replied, glancing around the room in case the Hard Deck was your Friday night scene. It wasn't really his, but he came for his friends. And if he got to spend another week or two in the classroom, he wasn't going to complain; there would be no way for him to look at you when he was in the cockpit. 

"Bob!" Javy called as if he'd been trying to get his attention for a few minutes. He was waving a pool cue. "Take over for me. I need to go shoot my shot."

As Bob stood, he watched Javy head off into the crowd toward a woman who looked like you. He did a double take, his heart leaping up into his throat as Bradley started to push him closer to the pool table. Javy saw you. He was going to ask you out. A feeling of devastation filled his lungs, but then the woman turned around, and it wasn't you. Her smile wasn't nearly as pretty, and she didn't have the same eyes. 

Relieved, Bob sank the seven ball before running the table like he was some sort of pro. But he knew deep inside that he was going to have to ask you out himself or miss out on even having a chance with you. 

Every day the following week, he tried to give himself a pep talk. He could do this. Even if you said no, it would be fine. It would be good practice for him. But he knew it would not be okay. He liked the sound of your voice and the way you moved, and he thought about you in every room of his apartment doing a wide variety of things. Some of them made him blush.

He couldn't tell if it would be worse to never even try or to have to live with himself after you looked at him and said you weren't interested. At least if he kept things quiet, the guys couldn't find a way to make fun of him. And although they all liked to talk about you at lunch, to his knowledge, none of them had asked you on a date. Maybe they were as intimidated as him.

On Wednesday, you dropped your pen, and Bob picked it up for you. He got a "Thanks, Lieutenant Floyd," in response along with a cautious smile. Then on Thursday, he helped you move the projector before class started, and you said, "Thanks. You're a lot stronger than I am." He felt like he floated to his seat after that. 

On Friday, disaster struck. You were organizing your stack of notes at the end of the day when Bob stood. But then Bradley was there, leaning on the table in front of you after everyone had been dismissed. "Hey, so the guys and I were wondering if you ever made it out to the Hard Deck on Friday nights? I'd love to buy you a drink."

Bob nearly collapsed back into his seat as he watched your eyes searching Bradley's face like you were trying to tell if he was lying. "No, actually. I play Dungeons & Dragons most Friday nights."

A strangled sound escaped Bob. "You play D&D?" he asked before he could think better of it. 

"Yeah," you replied easily, giving him a little smile. "Been into it for years."

"Me too," he added, and you set down everything you'd been holding. 

"It must be hard to be part of a campaign when you deploy on occasion?" you asked, and Bob was convinced he wouldn't notice if a freight train was about to hit him. 

He nodded and took a step closer, watching you stand up. "It can be, yeah. But I've been in the same campaign for a few years, so I'd like to think I'm an integral enough part of it that everyone else doesn't mind waiting for me."

You laughed. It was so pretty. "I'm sure they don't mind one bit, Lieutenant Floyd."

"You can call me Bob," he blurted out, eyes going wide as you licked your lips and grinned. 

"Okay. Bob."

He could do this. He was already part way there, he thought. Just a little further. "Maybe you and I could get coffee this weekend and talk about our characters?"

When he was met with silence and your softly parted lips, he wanted to disappear. But your expression was trained on his face, and even though you still seemed a little hesitant, you asked, "Like a date? Because I'm free on Sunday."

-------------------------

You were laughing so hard, you had to set your coffee cup down next to your scone, and Bob was basking in the sound of it. "No, Bob! That's why I made my character a Rogue! Because I could never be such a scoundrel in real life!" He just listened to your laughter taper off while he grinned in the middle of the crowded cafe where you only seemed to be focused on him. 

"Well, that's why I made mine a Sorcerer. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I can't actually cast spells."

You started to laugh again. "Could have fooled me." But he must have been looking at you for too long, because you brought your hand up to your lips and asked, "Do I have crumbs on my face or something?"

"No, your face is perfect," he replied without considering his words, but your look of slightly embarrassed delight outweighed the tinge of mortification he felt.

You searched his eyes, seemingly always trying to gauge his sincerity. Then you surprised him when you said, "You're really sweet. It's refreshing." 

Bob looked down at his hands, unsure how to respond but pleased nonetheless. "Will you let me take you to a movie? Or dinner? Or both?"

"Yes."

The following morning at work, you were as focused on Bob as he was on you. The sweaty palms and erratically beating heart were back, only exacerbated by your alluring gaze and the promise of a second date on Thursday night. You agreed to dinner at an Italian restaurant, and Bob was already excited. 

"Why are you acting so strange?" Nat asked at lunchtime. "You're like both weirdly quiet and also talking so much?"

Bob laughed and said, "I went out on a date yesterday." And when he said it was with you, her eyes went wide. "We're going out again on Thursday."

"Bob!" she gasped, and now all of the guys were looking at him, and there was no way he would ever recover from this as Nat told them he got coffee with you.

"Welcome to the big leagues, buddy," Jake drawled, while Bradley glared at him. "Just wish I could figure out why she seems so familiar. Like it's just stuck in the back of my mind somehow. Like I know her."

"None of you know her as well as Bob does," Nat said with a laugh that made him smile. Before you and he parted ways at the coffee shop, you'd squeezed his hand in your smaller one, and it was already one of the sexiest moments of his life.

"Fuck you, Bob," Bradley grumbled. 

But it didn't matter. Bob really liked you and the fact that you talked about your Dungeons & Dragons character for a full hour. And your pretty face and your laugh. And the way you seemed interested in what he had to say. You were checking off all of the boxes for him. Smart, funny, kind of nerdy, interesting. He wondered how many dates he should take you on before asking you to be his girlfriend.

On Wednesday, as soon as Warlock dismissed everyone, you handed Bob a folded up note.

I can't wait for dinner tomorrow night. Here's my number.

He waited until he was home and sitting on his couch before he texted you. Less than a minute later, you responded. And that's how he spent the rest of his night. He didn't even eat until after nine, too wrapped up in what you had to say. Those intrusive thoughts and daydreams and real dreams about you in his apartment were starting to seem like they could be a reality. That's what he wanted. He could already picture you on the couch, wrapped up in the afghan his mom made, watching a movie with him. Or in his kitchen, helping him make dinner. 

He fell asleep on the couch in his uniform, too absorbed in this conversation to even go to bed properly. But that was fine, because suddenly it was Thursday, and not only would he see you all day at work, he'd get to eat with you and learn more about you.

Once again, Bob slid into that front row seat, and you had to work at keeping the smile from your face all morning. When you did look his way, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He was sure he'd pass out if you kissed him, and suddenly that was the only thing he could think about. Warlock talked about aggressive maneuvering, and Bob thought about your lips. Warlock talked about safety protocols, and Bob thought about your lips touching his.

It would be a miracle if he made it through dinner, but he had to try. You stood and started walking out of the classroom at the end of the day, but you turned back and said, "I'll meet you there at 7:30."

Bob offered to pick you up, but you said you'd drive yourself, and now he had more than two hours to kill. He took a long shower and fixed his hair before dressing in the outfit that Nat had pre-approved for him. He made sure his glasses were straight and that he had his credit card. The only other thing he could do was hope the conversation would come as easily for him this time, as it had over coffee.

He shouldn't have been worried about that. What he should have been worried about was the way his heart stopped when you walked through the front doors of the restaurant and directly for him, wearing a pretty blue dress with your face all made up like he was someone to impress. 

"Hi, Bob," you whispered. Then you kissed his cheek at the same time that he started to turn his head, and his lips nudged yours. He stood there shocked as you slipped your hand into his, and you started to tug him toward the waiting table when his name was called. 

His ears didn't stop burning the whole night. His brain kept circling back to the idea of another kiss. An intentional one. A kiss after a second date was not something he'd ever attempted before, but he was going to do it tonight. Based on the way you were looking at him, he had to. 

"Do you want more wine?" you asked, holding up the bottle. 

"Yes, please," he replied, because that would definitely help his cause. 

You smiled as you poured him some. "You have lovely manners." When you set the bottle down, you added, "And really pretty eyes."

Bob counted to three and then said, "I know we didn't even eat dessert yet, but I really like you. And tomorrow is your D&D night, but maybe you'll let me take you to a movie on Saturday?"

After dinner, in the parking lot next to your car, Bob kissed you. Intentionally. The first tilt of his head was hesitant, and when his lips met yours, he started to get nervous and pull away. But you let your fingers tangle in his hair, and you chased him for another kiss. "Which movie are we seeing?" you asked as you rubbed your nose gently along his.

"You can pick," he replied before kissing you again. "I just want to be around you." And then his hands found the small of your back and you inched yourself closer until your chest was touching his and your knee was bumping his leg.

You were smiling when he finally pulled his face away from yours. "I'll text you my address and the movie I want to see."

Bob smiled, too. "And then I'll pick you up, and we can go to the theater."

This was probably the best week of his life. He watched you pull out of the parking lot, and you waved to him through your window after you blew him a kiss. He went home and thought about what he might be able to cook for date number four. Perhaps you'd want to do the movie on Saturday and then have dinner at his place on Sunday? He'd figure it out. Either way, he was excited for more. 

"A third date?" Nat asked on Friday when everyone was taking a break in the classroom. "Damn, Bob." 

He eyed you where you stood talking quietly with Warlock, and you glanced his way, a soft smile on your lips. "I really like her. She's different. In a good way. And she makes me feel comfortable."

Nat rubbed his back in slow circles. "Make sure you put your arm around her during the movie. She might be expecting it. But if she doesn't snuggle against you, then you should remove it."

He nodded and swallowed. "Right. I can do that. Is it too soon to invite her over to my apartment for dinner?"

"I don't think so," she replied softly. "And maybe you should buy some condoms."

Bob's cheeks immediately flushed, but he didn't mind too much, since it was just Nat. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"She seems sweet. Just tell her what you're feeling when the time comes."

Now everything was making Bob a little nervous as he drove through your neighborhood on Saturday night. He passed modern beachfront house after modern beachfront house, and then his GPS told him he had arrived. He saw your car in the driveway, but the house was gorgeous and must be worth a ton of money. Maybe you had a roommate? 

He parked his old truck and headed up the sidewalk with butterflies in his stomach and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. You opened the door before he even knocked, and then you were in his arms and invading his senses. "Are those for me?" you asked, kissing his cheek and poking the flowers. 

"Yes," he whispered, silently begging you to let him hold you for a few more seconds while he caught his breath and got himself under control. You turned him on in every way, and he'd never encountered this before. 

Your soft voice next to his ear as you chuckled and said, "Thanks, Bob," was not helping. You led him inside, and your house was incredible. There were no signs of a roommate, but there was a view of the ocean from the windows along the back of the house. He watched you bend in your little dress to find a vase for the flowers, and he felt completely overwhelmed. 

"Ready to go?" you asked, reaching for his hand a minute later. Your eyes were eager and sincere as you gazed up at him. Your fingers were laced with his, and Bob realized if he wanted to get to the next step with you, he needed to get through tonight.

"Yes." He kissed your lips softly, and you leaned against his arm as he walked you out to his truck. 

You spent the drive to the movie theater telling him all about your Friday night playing Dungeons & Dragons, and of course Bob felt more relaxed. He bought the tickets, and you got the popcorn, and when he put his arm around your shoulders, you snuggled against him, so he kept it there. By the end of the movie, the empty popcorn bucket was on the floor, and you had your palm resting on his thigh. 

"Did you like it?" you asked softly while the end credits scrolled. 

"Yes, I liked it," he promised, accepting another of your kisses.

"It's still early. Want to grab a drink somewhere?"

Bob really only knew one place, because he spent an awful lot of his free time there. "Should we hit up the Hard Deck? And then I can take you home and hopefully get another goodnight kiss?"

You had one eyebrow raised as you considered him. "Even after the third date? You're not going to try to make a move?"

Embarrassment flooded his cheeks as he muttered, "Not yet." And then your lips were all over his like he'd answered your questions correctly, even though he felt like his thoughts on the matter were actually probably wrong according to most people.

Eventually the two of you made your way to the bar, but visiting the Hard Deck was a mistake that he didn't see coming. You were tucked perfectly against his side as Bob walked across the parking lot and listened to you tell him how much you liked working for Admiral Bates. Then you ordered two vodka sodas, and Bob had to pluck your credit card from your hand to keep you from paying for them. 

"Hey!" you complained, but he just smiled. 

"I'll give it back later." He was rewarded with another kiss on the cheek, this one very close to his lips. 

"Well, look who's here," Jake drawled obnoxiously over the music from the jukebox and the noise from the crowd. "Bob and his friend."

You rolled your eyes and laughed, but you kept one hand linked with his as the drinks were set down. "Should we say hi to your friends?" you asked, and Bob nodded even though he really wanted to just find a small table on the other side of the room. But Nat looked excited, and the other guys looked annoyed, so Bob thought a short detour might be fun.

"Hey," Bob greeted everyone as you sipped your drink. 

"How was the movie?" Nat asked, elbowing Bradley in the side before he could say anything.

"Pretty good," you replied. "You know, for one of those Academy Award bait films." 

Bob laughed and looked at you. "I liked it a lot, actually." Or maybe he just liked sitting with his arm around you for two hours at a time, but he wasn't going to say that in front of everyone else.

Javy tapped a pool cue on the ground and asked, "Do you like to see a lot of movies?"

You nodded with a bit of an apprehensive look on your face that had Bob just about ready to pull you over to the table that another couple was vacating. "Yeah... I like films," you replied softly. 

And then Jake's jaw dropped open and he slapped the edge of the pool table. "Oh my god!" His green eyes were wide as he looked you up and down from head to toe with a smirk that made Bob want to stand in front of you. "That's why you look so familiar! You're Roxy Luxxe."

"Oh, fuck," Javy said as he dropped the pool cue on Nat's foot, and Bradley choked on his beer. 

But Bob just stood there and watched your posture stiffen and the look of apprehension on your face grow. "Who?" he asked softly, but you wouldn't meet his eyes.

"She's a porn star, Bob!" Jake said a little too loudly as he hooted. "A very memorable one, too. Played up different movie genres. Everyone I Did Last Summer. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sluts. Laid in Manhattan. Some real classics!"

"I retired," you said firmly, holding eye contact with Jake even though your voice sounded strained. "I left the industry five years ago."

"Guys," Nat said with a warning tone as she looked at Bob who was frozen in place, his head swarming with wild thoughts. An adult film star? You? But you worked at Top Gun and played D&D and liked scones. You went on three dates with Bob of all people.

Now Nat was physically moving Javy, Bradley and Jake back toward the game of pool, snapping her fingers at them as they continued to ogle you in your pretty dress. "So..." you whispered, turning toward Bob, looking anywhere but at his face. "That was... yeah..."

He had no idea what to say right now, and the longer he went without saying anything, the worse he felt inside. You used to have a job making adult films? Bob couldn't even handle watching those without blushing and stuttering. You must have had sex with dozens and dozens of different men and probably women too, and Bob suddenly realized he could go home and watch them for himself if he really wanted.

"Right," you said, finally looking at him as your eyes started to fill with tears. "Well... no hard feelings, Bob. I'll see you at work on Monday." Then you set your drink down, covered your mouth with one hand and made a beeline for the door.

Bob looked at the drink in his hand, and then at the one you set down. He left his on the table next to yours and followed you out to the parking lot. He looked around, calling your name and checking to see if you were by his truck, but you didn't respond. You were gone. 

Roxy Luxxe. That name was made up, and he didn't think it suited you as well as your real name. That one was perfect, and he liked it. He liked you. He could drive back to your house, but if you didn't want to talk to him, then what was the point? He'd already embarrassed himself by clamming up. But even worse, he thought he might have embarrassed you. 

"Damn it," he muttered, angry at Jake and all of them for making you feel small, and angry at himself, too. He got in his truck and drove himself home.

----------------------------

Well. You got three perfect dates before it all blew up in your face. Three amazing dates with Bob who was going to look at you like you were no longer worthy of his time now. Sure, you would have told him eventually. After another date or two, you would have brought it up in such a way that perhaps could have been a little bit more flattering or at least slightly tasteful. But of course you should have been expecting this. It wasn't the first time. Getting older only did so much for your face, and it didn't matter how much you changed your hair and makeup: Once Roxy Luxxe, always Roxy Luxxe.

You really thought none of them recognized you. It was almost refreshing that Bob had never heard of your alter ego. He probably never saw a single video of you having sex with Sam Slick or Dickie Divine. He didn't know exactly what your tits looked like, because you'd never taken your shirt off for him in person. He didn't know how you sounded when you faked an orgasm. As you ran down the block and got an Uber, you could hear Bob calling for you.

You weren't ashamed or embarrassed. You were not. This was your life, and you made every decision along the way for yourself. Nobody else. You put yourself through school. You bought the house of your dreams. You had an amazing job at Top Gun now for fuck's sake. But Bob was the first guy you met in a long time who made you think you could have a relationship with someone who wouldn't judge you for your past.

You walked from your Uber into your house and kicked your shoes across the entryway. More tears were filling your eyes, but you didn't want to cry again. Not over this. "But he was sweet," you whispered to your reflection in the hall mirror. His friends were kind of assholes, but he wasn't. Even if he didn't want to be with you now, which was understandable, those three dates were something else. Dungeons & Dragons discussions and coffee and pasta. 

You sighed wistfully at the flowers in your kitchen. Maybe a few more years and you'd look even less like Roxy Luxxe. That might make things easier to navigate. You made yourself a cup of tea and grabbed some crackers and sat out on your back deck where the moonlight reflected off of the ocean. The way Bob had wrapped his arm around you during the movie made it easy to imagine him here with you, keeping you warm. Instead you grabbed a blanket and snuggled in as you thought about how he would have been an excellent boyfriend. 

"You win some, you lose some," you told the night sky. If he was bothered by your past which you had designed so you could have a future, then he wasn't the one for you. You fell asleep outside in your dress, and the rising sun eventually woke you up. When you stretched and stood, the chilly air sent you running inside and toward your shower. 

The memories of last night were hanging out in the periphery of your mind. Going to work tomorrow was going to be awful. If you didn't like Admiral Bates so much, you'd request to work under someone else. But then again, why should you have to go to work feeling bad? Yeah, it was going to sting to see Bob, but it was still your job, and you deserved to be happy. 

You showered and took your time until all of your skin felt fresh and new, and then you threw on some oversized sweats after you moisturized. After breakfast, you could see if one of your friends from D&D was free to hang out. You were finally just about to check your phone to see if Bob had attempted to reach you when you heard a knock at your door. 

Bob's truck was parked in your driveway just behind your car. You could see it through the front window. According to your phone, he tried to call you twice, and he'd send you a handful of texts. But now he was here and knocking again. It was obvious you were home, so you wrenched your front door open and stood before him with your chin held high.

"What do you need?" you asked, already feeling weak at the sight of his pretty blue eyes and his glasses. 

"Hi," he said softly, just staring at you. He looked exhausted, like maybe he hadn't slept. Then he fumbled around in his jeans pocket and pulled out your credit card. "This is yours."

You plucked it from his hand and started to close the door. "Thanks for returning it. I'll see you at work."

Then he said your name. Your real name. "Wait. Please?"

You pressed your lips together. "What do you want, Bob?" 

The soft rise and fall of his solid chest held your attention while he started stuttering. "L-Look. I'm really sorry about last night."

You nodded. "Me too." It wasn't like you wanted to know, but you couldn't stop yourself from asking, "I take it you went home and looked up my videos?"

His eyes went wide as you crossed your arms over your chest. "I didn't."

You actually believed him, but you felt like making yourself hurt anyway. "Your friends have all seen me naked. Watched me getting fucked."

He seemed surprisingly calm as he half shrugged and kind of nodded. "So what?"

As you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, you said, "I'm not ashamed of anything I've ever done, okay? And I would have told you about it after another date or two... before we slept together." When he remained silent you added, "I started out in the adult film industry when I was eighteen. I quit when I was twenty five. I just turned thirty last month, and I guess I was silly for thinking enough time had passed. But last night was a prime example of why I haven't even tried to date anyone. Ever, really."

Bob was gaping at you now. "Not ever? But you're... you're so..."

"I know," you said, cutting him off before he could finish. "I'm hot enough to do porn, but nobody wants to date me." 

You started to close the door again, but he scrambled. "N-No, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say you're flawless. A-And I shouldn't have let you leave the bar like that last night."

Your fingers loosened on the door, and soon it was drifting away from you, opening wider for Bob as he stood there with an eager expression. God, you just really liked him. And he seemed like he was being sincere. "What would you have done differently last night?" you whispered. 

He started to reach for you before tucking his fingers in his jeans pocket. "I would have taken your hand in mine as soon as I saw tears in your eyes." You bit your lips as he added, "And I would have told you that I like you so much. And if you wanted to leave, then I would have driven you home right away and walked you to your door."

He liked you so much. If there was a chance that Bob could be the kind of guy who still liked you with your past as Roxy Luxxe but also wasn't just trying to get in your pants and meet her for himself, then you wanted to give him a shot. "What would you have done after you walked me to my door?"

He was breathing deeper like he was nervous, and you wanted to touch him. "I would have asked you for that goodnight kiss that I'd been hoping for all day."

You were rushing for his arms, clearly surprising him in the process, but he held onto you as you gave him just the softest kiss. "I would have let you have it." Bob's hands found their way to the most respectful spot on your back, and you kissed him a little deeper. 

As soon as you broke the kiss, his fingers flexed against your back, and he said, "I want to go on another date with you. A bunch more. But I want you to be sure about me. I don't really care about Roxy Luxxe. I'm sure she was lovely, but I like you." You laughed. You couldn't help it. And he smiled as he asked, "Maybe you can think about it today and let me know at work tomorrow?"

"Okay."

He nodded and let out the breath he was holding. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

Your back felt cold where his hands used to be as you watched him walk back to his truck. He waved to you as he pulled out of your driveway, and you waved back with a different feeling in your heart than you had twenty minutes ago.

---------------------------

Bob was disappointed to find he would be in the air on Monday. When he arrived on base, he changed into his flight suit instead of his khaki uniform, wondering what that would mean when it came to seeing you. He'd slept poorly, wondering what your answer would be, hoping you'd say yes to another date.

"Hey, Bob," Jake drawled as Bob zipped up his flight suit. "How was your night with Roxy Luxxe?" He had a devilish smirk on his face, and Bob's skin was crawling. All of the other guys were looking at him now, and he knew his face was beet red. 

"I guess she was as good as she looks on film if she rendered you speechless," Jake added with a laugh. 

"Whoa, no," Javy said, shaking his head at Jake before looking at Bob. "Cut it out, man."

Bob counted to five, took a deep breath and then raised his forearm, and at least Jake had the decency to look panicked. Bradley stepped into the fray as Bob used his arm on Jake's chest to push him back against the lockers. Sure, Jake was more muscular, but Bob was no slouch, and he had a couple inches on him. "Don't call her that again. Don't even talk about her. While you're at it, don't look at her either."

Jake raised one eyebrow and nodded slightly, and Bob released him, walking right out of the locker room and making a quick detour to the classroom. But you weren't there. He ran his hands through his hair before he headed outside to find Nat. 

"Hey, there you are," she said gently. "You okay? After the bar and everything?"

"I'm fine," he replied, still looking around. "Have you seen her?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed, pointing behind Bob, and he whirled around in time to see you walk out of the tower with Warlock and Cyclone. You looked as pretty as you always did, and Bob found himself wanting you the same way today as he had last week. All of the daydreams about making breakfast together after holding you in his arms all night were still there. So were the thoughts about you snuggled up, laughing on his couch. But now he could also imagine taking walks on the beach where you lived.

Your gaze met his, and he watched you excuse yourself from the admirals before heading his way. Nat squeezed his bicep, and muttered good luck before making herself scarce, and then Bob was standing there with you a respectable three feet in front of him. 

"Lieutenant Floyd."

He smiled softly. "Good morning."

"So..." you began, looking down at his boots and pressing your lips together. "I'm free on Wednesday night. Or pretty much all day Saturday." Your eyes trailed up his body until you were nervously examining his face. "What did you have in mind for our fourth date?"

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd been so apprehensive, afraid you were going to tell him to beat it, he hadn't bothered to come up with an actual date idea. "Cooking dinner at my place?" he blurted out.

You nodded like that sounded good to you. "Wednesday night then?"

He couldn't remember if he already had plans, but if he did, he'd cancel them immediately. "Yes. Wednesday. The day after tomorrow. Wednesday."

Your soft laughter filled him up as you turned and started to walk away, giving him just one word. "Wednesday."

--------------------------

You showed up to Bob's place with just a bottle of wine. He promised to take care of the rest. An hour later, a completely homemade pizza with fresh mozzarella and herbs was baking in the oven, and you had your arms draped around his neck. His lips tasted like the pinot noir the two of you had started drinking while you made the pizza, and his body felt strong and sure. As of right now, you thought you'd made the right choice by coming here.

"I really like you," he whispered for the third time this evening, and you believed him. You liked yourself. Why shouldn't he? 

"I like you, too, Bob." You reached up and adjusted his glasses before letting your fingers trail back through his hair. As his hands slid slowly down to your hips, it was easy to imagine how he might be in bed. Authentic. Meticulous. Earnest. Just like he was at work. The thought thrilled you to no end, but you were also afraid of the way you'd feel afterwards if you rushed it just to get the first one out of your system. So you let him hold you like you were important. 

The timer buzzed, and Bob laughed as you jumped further into his arms. You buried your face against his neck. "It's not funny." But you were laughing, too, and his lips met your hair. "Okay, it's kind of funny."

His stomach was growling, so you slowly pulled yourself free of his arms so he could put on his oven mitts. "Looks good," he remarked, but your gaze was fixed on him. "What do you think, Honey?" 

Bob's eyes went wide as he set the tray down, like he couldn't believe what he'd said. Your heart was absolutely thundering in your chest. "Looks good," you whispered in agreement. You hadn't looked at it. You were sure it was fine. You'd eat anything anyway. But he called you Honey, and you didn't mind it one bit.

You shared the pizza side by side on his couch along with the rest of the bottle of wine, and Bob listened to you tell him about your friends you meet up with on Fridays. And then he told you about his deployment as he finished the last few drops of wine. 

"I never really talk about this with anyone but Nat. This is nice," he said softly.

"Is it lonely?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper as he set down his glass and looked at you. 

You didn't want to rush him, because you could tell what he was going to say was important. And it was. His voice was a little rough as he looked at you and said, "Somehow it's lonelier when I come home. It's worse than being on an aircraft carrier in that I can't really have anything for myself here. There's nothing waiting for me. And a lot of the time, I feel like it would be too much to ask someone to do that. To wait for me. It would be a lot for someone to accept."

When you crawled onto his lap, he didn't stop you. And when you tilted his face up to make him look at you, his cheeks flushed pink, but his hands found your hips again. "I understand exactly how you feel." 

Then you kissed him, and you didn't stop for probably hours or maybe days. It felt that good. When you ended up beneath his warm body, you were so happy he came to your house on Sunday morning with your credit card. "Bob," you whimpered, and that seemed to bring him back from wherever his head was while he kissed his way down your neck and along your chest. His hair was a mess from your fingers, and his lips were a little puffy from the kisses, and you were pretty sure he wouldn't let you down again even if his friends were idiots.

You'd broken the spell, but he didn't seem to mind as he stood and pulled you to your feet. "It's getting late. We have work in the morning. Let me walk you to your car?"

At this rate, you were afraid you'd let him do anything he wanted, because he held your hand the whole way there. And he kissed you just right and told you he'd love to spend part of Saturday with you.

"Come over," you told him, and he promised he would.

----------------------------

It was chilly as Bob watched the sunset over the ocean from your back deck, but his body was warm from the combination of having you and your fleece blanket wrapped around him. You fit perfectly in his arms. Frankly, you seemed to fit pretty perfectly in his life. He wouldn't mind spending all of his Saturdays like this, listening to your gaming recap from the night before while you occasionally kissed the side of his neck. Your fingers were laced with his, and when you asked if he wanted to share a bottle of wine you got when you were in Napa Valley, he responded with a different question. 

"Is there any chance you'd want to be my girlfriend?" You shivered in his arms, so he wrapped you up a little tighter. "I can't stop thinking about you being the one waiting for me to get home from a deployment."

You didn't speak right away which made him apprehensive. He'd somehow been the one to push things too fast. This was something he'd never managed to do before. You tightened your grip on his hand as you said, "Bob... people are going to recognize me. It's going to happen sometimes, no matter what I try to do about it, and I-"

He cut you off with a kiss. "I don't care about that, Honey." Then more kisses. The bottle of wine in your kitchen was left forgotten as you carefully slipped one leg over Bob's lap and sat straddling him. You kept the blanket wrapped snug around both of you, your body nestled against his as your foreheads met. "I just really like you."

The sun had disappeared below the horizon. Everything was pink and purple and dusky and dreamy as your cheek nudged his glasses making him smile. "If you think you can handle being my boyfriend, then I'm not going to try to stop you."

Heart pounding, he asked, "So is that a yes?"

"Yes." Your kisses were slow and soft, and Bob kept chasing the smile on your lips, because he couldn't get enough. With his eyes closed, all he could hear was the ocean below and the soft sounds you made. All he could feel was your body everywhere. You smelled familiar. You tasted good. 

As you ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand trailed down to his shoulder, along his bicep and then across his chest. When Bob dared to let his hands dip from your waist to your hips and butt, you scooted a little bit closer. He realized when your fingers skimmed his abs that he had an erection. 

Embarrassed, he tried to break the kiss and move his hands, but as soon as he started to move, you pulled away first. In the dying light, he could see your wide eyes and the alluring rise and fall of your chest. Part of your lace bra strap was showing, and your nipples were obviously hard. His cock throbbed in his jeans as you asked, "Do you want to stop?"

He knew you could read the desire on his face. When he started to shake his head, you rubbed yourself against his jeans where he was hard for you. "No," he grunted, head tipping back as he panted. "I don't want to stop."

"Good," you whispered next to his ear, lips barely grazing him. "Neither do I." You took his hands in both of yours and brought them back up to your body, encouraging him to touch every curve.

He gasped your name as he watched you slowly rolling your hips against him, seemingly in no hurry as you bit your lip. When he reached for the hem of your shirt, you didn't stop him, and he tossed it aside. Your body looked magical in the twilight, and as he reached for your bra clasp, realization hit him. 

You were used to a certain caliber of partner for these kinds of activities. Standards he probably couldn't meet. "You're hesitating again," you whispered, voice breaking a little bit on the last word. "If you don't think you want to do this with me, I completely understand, Bob."

It was getting difficult to read your expression in the darkness, but when you stopped touching him and pulled your arms to your sides, he started to panic. "It's not that," he promised. "But you've been with... p-professionals. Guys who know what they're... doing." He ran his hands through his own hair. "And I'm not the most experienced. I've only had two partners."

"Oh, Bob," you moaned, and his cock ached at the sound. He wanted you. His whole body was screaming for it, and then he watched as you unhooked your own bra and let it slide down your arms and fall from your fingers. Your body was flawless, back arched, every curve designed to make him crazy. He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a whine as you leaned in closer and kissed him. "You'll be so much better."

Your bare skin was everywhere as the blanket slipped from around you. Bob's hands splayed across your back to keep you warm, but the supple feel of you had him thrusting against your core as he gingerly ran his thumb along the side of your breast. "So much better!" you whispered before pulling his bottom lip between yours.

He was still a little nervous, throbbing against you in his pants like a teenager as he cupped your breast in his rough palm. When you trailed your lips down his neck, he said, "I just want to be good enough for you."

Bob was thankful it was dark and you couldn't see him blushing as you nipped his earlobe and giggled. "Bob. You're better, because you're real. And you're turning me on, because we're not faking anything." You moved your right hand down between your bodies and squeezed his cock through his jeans as you sucked on his neck. "There's nothing fake about this."

He was gasping as he reached for your hand. "Honey." He couldn't take too much more teasing, or at this rate, he'd finish before his pants were off. "Can we go inside?"

You were off his lap and reaching for him with both hands, pulling him to his feet and closer to you. "My bedroom sound good?"

"Yes." 

It was honestly difficult to walk. You led him through the sliding glass door and inside where the soft lighting somehow made your topless body look even more stunning. You brought him down the short hallway to your room, walking backwards and looking up at him with a smirk as you unzipped his jeans. He made another unintelligible noise as he watched the way your breasts swayed and bounced with each movement. 

Your bedside lamp provided the only light, and Bob was still looking around, trying to get his bearings, when you pulled his shirt and undershirt off. "Oh," you gasped, running your palms up his flat stomach to his slightly broader chest. "God." He couldn't fathom that you liked what you saw and felt enough to leave you panting his name, but you definitely were. Then your hand was down the front of his unzipped jeans, and he grinned as you tried your best to wrap your hand around his length, your eyes growing wide. "Bob."

And now he wasn't really nervous, because this actually felt really easy and good with you. You were giving him all the queues that you wanted more. You were kissing him as you stumbled to the bed. You were trying your best to get your hand around his cock, but you couldn't. He picked you up and hauled you up to the pillows, and you squealed. All he could see was your beautiful smile as you kissed him over and over, only pulling away to run your nose along his cheek and whisper his name. 

He watched you shimmy out of your yoga pants and underwear and push them aside, and it was no wonder you were able to make a career out of using your body the way you did. But if most of that was just acting, then he wasn't going to let you down now. He watched as your head tipped back, and you pressed yourself up against his hands when he gently squeezed your breasts. Mesmerized by all of this, he let his hands drift down over your ribs and along your sides until he was met by your hips.

Bob worked his hands slowly back up your body and down again, pausing to press his lips to your breasts as you arched for him again. You felt soft, and you were sensitive, running your bare foot up and down his leg as you whimpered. When he squeezed your hips again, he let his gaze fall below your belly button.

His voice was soft and deep as he asked, "Is it okay if I taste you, Honey?"

You instantly spread your legs a little wider, grabbed him by his hair, and said, "Please."

---------------------------

Bob's hands were huge, with thick veins and graceful, calloused fingers. All he was doing was touching you and kissing you, and you were very fucking worked up. This was already a treat, just being with a guy who wasn't grabbing at you and trying to shove his cock in your mouth. But it was more than that. It was the soft tone he used when he said your name and the way he was looking at you. 

Gentle but strong. That was how you'd describe your newly minted boyfriend. You smiled at him as he stroked his fingers down your sides. You hadn't had a boyfriend in years, and Bob was so sweet and handsome, it was absolutely outrageous. 

"Is it okay if I taste you?"

All of that and he wanted to go down on you? "Please." Your voice was needy, and your body was so ready for him. You eased your thighs further apart so he could see all of you, and you let your fingers tangle in his soft hair. You were so excited, and when the wire rim of his glasses brushed the inside of your thigh, you shivered with pleasure. 

Then his lips met your pussy, and you almost went through the fucking ceiling. Those big hands were at your waist, holding you in place on the bed as he licked up along your slit, slowly tasting every inch before he hummed softly. You wanted to watch, but you could barely lift your head off of the pillow as he licked up again and again before kissing your clit. 

When you managed to prop yourself up on one elbow, you got a great view of his big cock hanging out of his unzipped jeans when he lifted his head away from your body. "Does it feel good?" he asked, and you laughed. He pulled away from you further, concern on his face as you started to reach for him.

Your nails scraped along the day's worth of stubble on his cheek as you sat up and kissed him, tasting yourself. You licked at his lips and chin, cleaning up the wetness before you whispered. "It feels better than good."

A few seconds later, you were on your back again, legs over his shoulders as he ate your pussy with fervor. All of your nerve endings were singing his praises. He had you spread with his rough thumbs, and when he looked up at you, even his nose was wet. Your hands were fisted at your sides while you gently rolled your hips against his mouth and whined at the perfect feel of him. "Shit. Fuck," you gasped. He sucked on you with just the right amount of pressure, and your toes were literally starting to curl. "Bob!" 

All you got in response was another hum of pleasure that made you squeal followed by some seriously lewd, wet sounds. His broad shoulders pushed against the backs of your thighs, and you felt him teasing at your opening with the tip of one finger. Tongue circling your clit, he glanced up at you over his crooked glasses. His cheeks were pink, and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead as you reached for his hair again. "I want you to fuck me."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding his head like he hadn't brought you close with his mouth. He looked a little dazed and pussy drunk, and you thought you could fall in love with that expression on his handsome face. 

"Come here," you whispered, kneeling so you could kiss him. "You taste like me," you added, licking his cheek and chin. "And I love it."

"Honey," he growled, and when you looked down, you could tell he was aching. You pushed him onto his butt and helped him the rest of the way out of his jeans and snug briefs, his thick cock bouncing for you. Then you looked at him there in just his socks and glasses, and your entire body clenched with a need you'd never known before. 

You took his cock in both hands, leaned down and kissed away all of his precum while every muscle in his abs and both legs tensed up. "Holy shit," he gasped. When you tugged on his shoulders, he moved with you, covering your body with his own. His weight and warmth against your bare skin felt essential to your happiness, and when you kissed him, he said, "And you taste like me." 

His cheeks flushed a pretty pink as you ran your tongue along his lips. You couldn't get enough. He shifted his body slightly, and his cock came to rest on your slick clit, making you moan into his mouth. You arched away from him, moving your hips back and forth a few inches at a time, using his body to bring yourself pleasure as you clung to his arms. "God, Bob. You haven't even been inside me yet, and I'm a mess." 

The veins in his neck and forehead were more prominent as he panted, a bead of his sweat rolling down to the tip of his nose. You licked it away as you shifted your hips so he was positioned at your entrance. He was thick, and even though you were soaking wet now, you had to use one hand to help guide him. You shook your head from side to side, your body taking him slowly. He buried his forehead to your neck, and the bite of his glasses against your collar bone kept you grounded. 

"Honey," he moaned, clutching at your hips as he finally, finally bottomed out. You were completely full, already clenching around him softly and enjoying the rough feel of his trimmed hairs against your clit. He thrusted a few times like he couldn't help himself, and you kissed his forehead. "Am I hurting you?"

His neck was a little slick against your fingertips. You'd been fucked too rough or without enough lubrication to the point of it being painful several times before, but this was the exact opposite. "Bob, you feel incredible." He lifted his head and kissed your lips, rewarding you with another thrust. Your legs tangled with his as you pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him harder. 

His lips found their way to your neck and breasts, and his thrusts started coming quicker, but every smooth movement left you gripping at him, your body begging for more as you whimpered and whined. He murmured your name against your skin, sucking on your nipples until you were seeing stars. And each thrust filled you somehow better than the last. And every movement left you grinding your clit up for more. 

You were going to come. You were going to come so hard. You could feel it. The buildup was delicious. Lips and stubble and glasses on your breasts. Hands on your hips. Bob everywhere.

"I'm not wearing a condom. Honey," he panted. "I'm not wearing a condom."

"It's okay," you whined loudly, suddenly gasping and clawing at his shoulders for leverage. "You can come wherever you want."

He chose inside you. And you came, hard and long and loud, hands on his face while you kissed him. You knew he was going to be so much better. You called it from the start. From when he surprised you by asking you out for coffee. He was immediately better than anything else you anticipated for yourself, and even when he fumbled, he recovered. You ran your lips along his cheek and back to his ear and whispered, "You're so much better than faking it."

He rolled both of you onto your sides, facing each other while he was still deep inside you. "Please don't ever do that. Fake it," he said, voice deep and raspy as he ran his rough palm along your cheek. "I want to know I'm good enough for my girlfriend." 

You smiled and tucked your head under his chin, and he wrapped his arm around you. His skin was warm beneath your lips, and his words were soft and gentle. When he climbed out of bed, he asked where he could find a washcloth, and he came back with it a minute later, ready to help you get cleaned up. He even held your robe out for you and waited while you used the bathroom, but you did that quickly, finding you wanted to be right next to him as much as possible.

Bob looked delicious in his briefs and undershirt, and you wrapped your arms around his waist as you asked, "Do you want to go back out under the blanket? With the bottle of wine? We could look at the stars. Listen to the ocean before bed."

He kissed your forehead. "As long as I'm with you."

-------------------------

Six months later...

After eight weeks away, Bob was excited to get home. He really hoped this was the start of his deployments feeling lonelier than the time between them did. Especially since he was going home to you and the house where he moved all of his stuff as soon as you asked him to live with you. He couldn't wait to hold you all night and hear all about your Dungeons & Dragons campaign and ask how you'd been enjoying work.

As soon as the aircraft carrier started docking in San Diego, he was at one of the lower railings along with the other aviators, and he spotted you immediately. You were bouncing around at the front of the crowd shouting his name and waving like a lunatic, and he had missed you so much. "Hey, Honey!" he shouted, and you just jumped higher. 

"Damn, Floyd. That's your girl?" asked one of the guys he'd flown with.

"Yeah," he replied, never taking his eyes off you. "That's my girl."

Six and a half minutes later, he was practically running down the long ramp with his duffle on one shoulder to the spot where you were waiting for him. 

"Bob!" you screeched as he scooped you up in your tiny dress and kissed you until you were as breathless as he was. "I missed you. I love you so much, and I missed you."

"I want to go home, Honey," he said, kissing you again. "Take me home."

"Gladly," you gushed, grabbing his hand and leading him toward his own truck. "I have big plans for your big cock," you announced to everyone around you, and Bob felt his cheeks warm up. "Well, and the rest of you, too. We can make a pizza together and eat out on the deck."

"Anything you want," he promised, tossing his bag in the truck bed and pushing you against the door. "And I love you, too." 

You only let him kiss you for a few seconds, before you were pushing him away. "I know you do. Let's go home." You held his hand on the short ride, and when he pulled in the driveway, you yanked him right out and led him inside the house. 

This felt incredible, knowing you wanted him as badly as he wanted you, running hand in hand to the bedroom. Then you stopped short and turned to face him as he bumped into you with a laugh. "You know how you're kind of your alter ego right now when you're in your uniform? Lieutenant Floyd?"

"Yeah?" he whispered, leaning down to kiss you, but your lips curled into a smile as you backed away.

"Well... I thought you might like to meet my alter ego?" you asked softly, easing that little dress up to your hips and along your torso before pulling it over your head. You were standing there in the tiniest black thong and bra set known to mankind. "Do you want to meet Roxy Luxxe?"

Bob just nodded and reached down to palm himself through his khaki pants as he gaped at you and grunted, "Uh huh." If Roxy was just a playful extension of his girlfriend, then yes, he wanted to meet her. 

You bit your lip and coaxed him toward the bed, running your hands down your body to your hips where you played with your underwear. "Good. Because she wants to meet you, too. And she wants you to know she's only going to be available exclusively for Bob Floyd's enjoyment."

---------------------------

Thanks for reading this long one-shot! I wanted Bob to get to fuck a former pornstar, because nobody deserves such a treat the way Bob does! But then I got attached to them and had to make it special. Bob and the artist formerly known as Roxy Luxxe are adorable together. Thanks to @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger and @sylviebell for your help!

@theamuz

@cherrycola27

@katiedid-3

@bradshawsbitch

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@callsign-magnolia

@avaleineandafryingpan

@t-nd-rfoot

@wkndwlff

@eddiemunsonreader

@wintercap89

@the-fever-of-mankind

@sio-ina-bottle

@lovingperfectionsblog

@daisydont-lie

@sappy-seresin

@birdy-bat-writes

@cutelittlefakejourneys

@cottagecori

@fandom-princess-forevermore

@sotalife

@novastories

@xoxabs88xox

@rileyanntoinette

@mannsachds

@midnightmagpiemama

@greatszu

@zetasaturno99

@lovingrobertfloyd

@taytaylala12

@captain-fandomwriter58

@grxcisxhy-wp

@hobireasns

@wolfquake23

@ohgodnotagainn

@smileybouquet

@paintlavillered

@seitmai

@tigermoon3

@noonenuts

@amiets2

#bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #bob floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #robert floyd imagine #robert floyd x you #bob floyd fic #bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd smut #bob floyd #bob x reader #bob fucks #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #roosterforme #explicitly yours #international bob floyd fucks month

[wolfiesmoon]

A valid excuse

Floyd x gn!reader

I have been consumed by tweel brainrot there is no turning back

Anyways here's something i thought of in 5 mins lfmaooo

You were awakened from your peaceful slumber by loud and oddly agressive knocking at the door to Ramshackle dorm.

What in the world? Who is trying to visit at this hour?

You groan, gently pushing Grim off you and slowly making your way to the door to find out who your late night visitor is.

"Finally..." Floyd mumbles when the door reveals your slouched figure. He makes a mental note of how you look in your sleepwear.

"...Floyd?" You mumble sleepily, hoping you didn't say the wrong twin's name. It's kind of hard to tell which one it is in the dark.

"You sure took your sweet time answering the door, Shrimpy." He invited himself in, casually walking past you into the lounge . Yup, it's definitely Floyd.

"Why are you here?" You yawned.

He squeezed you really hard all of a sudden, which woke you up almost instantly. You felt your bones cracking, you swear. Way more effective than an alarm clock. Or Grim.

"I had a nightmare... Can I sleep in your bed?" He pouted at you almost comically.

"That's why you came banging on my door at 2 AM?" You raised a brow at him, slightly annoyed. And besides, Floyd wasn't even your boyfriend or anything. He's just that one guy who gets really excited when he sees you for some reason. Why is he coming to you with this overly childish request? Jade works just fine.

His pout increased and he squeezed you even harder. As a warning, no doubt.

Seems there's no way out of this...

"Okay, okay- Fine-" you sounded strained due to your innability to breathe. You kinda don't want to die because of Floyd's squeezing, though it would certainly be a unique way to go.

"Yay~" he let go of you, prancing over to your bedroom like an excited child.

You followed behind him, worried that he might throw Grim out the window to make space for himself. If there's one thing you know about Floyd, it's that he's unpredictable. Not that that's a bad thing, you just don't want to end up with catlike casualty tonight.

"Ehhhh, why is Sealie all cuddled up on your bed?" he sounded offended, like someone just took his well deserved space.

"...He always is." you smile to yourself, thinking of how Grim is actually kinda like a real cat when he's all curled up by your side. You always feel the urge to pet him when he's like that.

Floyd takes a step forward (to "remove" Grim, no doubt) but you quickly pick up Grim and place him down on the rocking chair to prevent a premature death. Grim so owes you for this later.

"Here, the bed's all yours." you point to it somewhat nervously, watching his expression soften. I mean, were you seriously just going to let him sleep with you? You're honestly so tired you don't even care anymore.

He flops down on the bed unceremoniously, waiting for you to join him. As soon as you do, he hugs you tightly. "My dream was soooo bad... It was just horrible..." he mumbled into you with an overly dramatic undertone.

You still have no idea if the nightmare was just an excuse or if he actually had one. Either way, he is squeezing you right now and seems quite satisfied. You let your eyes slip closed.

"Wanna tell me what it was about?" you whisper.

"Later... I feel like squishing you forever for now..." he swung one of his lanky legs over you, sighing happily.

"You know Azul will get mad at you if you squish me forever, right? Cuz you won't show up to work..." you surrender yourself into his embrace fully, noting how smooth his arms are.

"I don't really care, to be honest...."

You suddenly felt a kiss on your cheek and you jolted slightly. Did Floyd just kiss you?

No, no. That was definitely just your imagination. You're half asleep, after all.

it's late at night as i'm proofreading this and i just got a rook card when i wanted the vil one😭😭😭😭😭😭my unluckiness knows no bounds

#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗ #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x you #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x y/n #twst x yuu #twst x mc #twst x you #twst x reader #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech x yuu #floyd leech x y/n #floyd x reader #floyd leech #leech brothers #floyd twisted wonderland #floyd twst

[wolken-himmel]

In which Jade and Floyd drag (Y/n) to the Octavinelle dorm in the middle of the night. Why? Azul is suffering from an especially bad nightmare.

Upon waking up, the prefect is there to comfort him.

Request by @yourlovelyyves.

"Good evening, (Y/n)."

A velvety voice eased you out of your peaceful slumber, much to your utter dismay. The night had been silent and void of any disturbances prior. Without much effort, you swatted away at the hand that latched into your arm. The assailant remained persistent however, which drew an annoyed grumble from your lips.

"Hm... go back to sleep, Grim," you muttered under your breath. Even after you had rolled onto your other side, the fingers wouldn't cease poking your side.

A disgruntled sigh escaped your lips, you slowly forced your eyes to flutter open. Your eyelids were as heavy as lead and puffy with sleepiness. Yet, all that drowsiness vanished as soon as your eyes met a bright pair of heterochromatic ones.

"Peek-a-boo! It's me! Floyd." A large grin was etched onto his face.

By then, your eyes were as wide as saucers and threatened to fall out of their sockets. Miraculously, you managed to keep the beginnings of a scream in the back of your throat. Adrenaline rushed through your veins. How could it not? Two large shadows loomed over your bed, only the outlines of their sharp features lit by the moon light.

Unmistakably, these shadows were Floyd and Jade.

"Uh... what are you two doing here?" you asked and rubbed your eyes awkwardly. "It's like... 3 AM right now."

"It's a long story," Jade began. Without any regard for your comfort whatsoever, he deftly snatched the blanket off your body. "We shall explain on the way."

A shriek escaped your lips. Without wasting any time, your drowsy limbs tried to regain possession of your blanket. But, with his height and long arms, you failed miserably. His brother merely laughed at your feeble attempt and uncoordinated struggling. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?" you grumbled under your breath. The last weaves of warmth fled you by now. "I really need my sleep..."

Floyd clicked his tongue playfully. "I get it, shrimpies need their beauty sleep. We respect that, but we also kinda don't. And this is an emergency, anyway." Without allowing you to answer, he extended his hands and tried to grab you. "So c'mere, Shrimpy." A silly chuckle escaped his lips while he moved in on you.

"Let go of me!" you wailed when he wrapped his arms around you. Without breaking a sweat, he hauled you into the air and threw you over his shoulder. "I need my sleep!"

Floyd rolled his eyes at your antics. "I need my sleep, too. It's a win-win if you just come with us!"

In a split second, you were by the door of your bedroom. A panicked flash adorning your face, you screamed out, "Grim, help! Grim—" Outside, even the crows nestled in their trees perked up and escaped into the distance.

However, your cat friend merely rolled onto his other side. His paws greedily grabbed the blanket all for himself. "Go back to sleep, (Y/n)..." he mumbled and hid his ears beneath the thin pillow.

You clicked your tongue in disappointment. By then, the exhaustion was starting to settle in: all the screaming was draining your small energy reservoir incredibly quickly. "Great..." you grumbled under your breath. Once you had exited the Ramshackle dorm, your tired body went limp in defeat.

Jade simply sighed after a while. "It's because of Azul."

Jade chuckled but shook his head. "No, not really. He somehow is having a lot of nightmares lately. Sadly, his yelling impacts our ability to sleep, as well."

You perked up at his words, and your eyes lit up in worry. "You could have told me earlier instead of dragging me out of my bed without any explanation." Although you pursed your lips, you eventually decided to let it go. A soft sigh escaping your lips, you continued, "So, what's wrong with Azul? Don't tell me he fell asleep at his desk again..."

A yawn escaped his brother's lips. "I get all cranky if I don't get my sleep..." Floyd complained under his breath.

"And what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, we're bringing you with us because he always calls out to you during his nightmares," Jade explained after the three of you had passed through the mirror to arrive at the Octavinelle dorm. "Sometimes it's 'Floyd, don't eat me!' but mostly it's your name, prefect."

Floyd hummed along while you entered the dorm building. "So, we did the only reasonable and logical thing: drag you out of your bed and carry you all the way to our dorm," he chimed proudly. How he managed to procure the strength to carry you despite his tiredness, you would never understand. He dragged you up a winding pair of stairs until you three arrived in front of one particular door.

When you were finally set down again, you let out a satisfied breath. Your tired limbs regained a little bit of life as you stretched and popped your joints back into place. "I'm not sure if I can help him, but I'll try..." you said after a while. The twins eagerly opened the door for you and ushered you inside.

"Work your magic, Shrimpy!"

When light flooded the room, your eyes immediately fell on the figure in the grand bed — none other than Azul. He was thrashing and whimpering. The sight caused your heart to sink in worry. Your feet moved on their own, and you quickly found yourself by his bed side.

"Azul? Whats wrong?" you asked and put his hand on his shoulder.

Your voice seemed to have a soothing effect on him, but he nonetheless continued to roll around in discomfort. "Hm... Floyd, get away from me..." he cried out and hid his head beneath his pillow in what seemed like fear. "Don't eat me..."

You wanted to laugh, you really did — but doing so would have been insensitive. Whatever nightmare he was having, it must have been really bad. His entire body was shaking beneath the blanket.

"Azul? Come on, wake up..." you whispered and squeezed his shoulder softly. "It's me, (Y/n)."

That somehow did the trick. At once, he bolted up until his back was as straight as a candle. His eyes were ripped wide open, and his shoulders heaved up and down. "Please, Floyd, I'm just an innocent octopus! Stop nibbling at my tentacles!" he yelled and clutched his pillow tightly.

"Azul!" You grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to pull him back to reality.

His wide eyes returned to their normal size as soon as he noticed your presence. Much to your relief, his body stopped shaking. The fear on his face was now replaced by utter confusion. "Hm? Wait, what are you doing in my room, prefect?" the dorm leader asked awkwardly.

The corners of your lips quirked upwards into an amused smile. "Floyd and Jade brought me here because you were having reoccurring nightmares," you explained while rubbing soothing circles onto his back.

"Tsk, you missed all the good parts," Floyd exclaimed and began cackling. "Azul was fussing about you before he switched to bad-mouthing me. What did he blabber? Stuff like 'Oh, oh! (Y/n), I like you so much!' Right, Jade?"

"I don't seem to recall, brother dearest." An innocent grin graced Jade's lips.

You returned your attention to Azul, whose face was as red as a beet by now. His eyes never met yours. "Well, since you seem pretty fine..." you said between coughs, "I should return to my dorm."

"Thanks for checking up on me..." Azul muttered quietly. "It must have been a long way to the Octavinelle dorm."

Just as you were about to tell him how the twins had dragged you all the way to his room, you noticed their pressing glares. Your instincts told you that perhaps it was better to not tell him all the details. And you had to admit, the grateful smile on his lips somehow made your heart flutter.

"Yeah..." you said and rose to your feet. "No problem."

"Isn't Shrimpy the nicest?" Floyd asked and slung his arm around your shoulder. "Also, Azul! You got my taste buds all wrong. I'd prefer shrimp over octopus every day."

A shiver ran down your spine. "Stop it, before I get nightmares too..."

"You should lock your doors," Jade chirped. "His appetite can be insatiable at times."

You didn't think that Azul's cheeks could have turned even more red. But at this point, he was as red as Riddle's hair. And you swore he looked like he was about to explode. A long sigh escaped his lips, and he buried his face in his hands. The embarrassment he exuded was almost tangible.

"(Y/n), I must apologise for their bad humour and the inconvenience..."

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #reader insert #y/n #disney twst #twst x you #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul #twst azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland azul #gender neutral reader

[twistedmionn]

i havent played twisted wonderland describe all the main characters but badly

Ace: the perfect embodiment of your local chaotic 16-year-old

Deuce: mommy's silly little problem boy who desperately tries to multiply his singular braincell

Riddle: rule-obsessed tomato with anger issues who has never seen a bar of chocolate irl

Trey: teeth-brushing accidental parental figure who probably spikes half of his pastries with marijuana

Cater: the type of guy to sing Two Trucks during a mental breakdown

Leona: it's not me acting like an ass, it's my depression

Ruggie: so adorable that you wouldn't be mad at him even if he successfully robbed a whole ass bank

Jack: i-it's not like I like you, b-baka

Azul: ultimate bottom octobussy (according to approximately every Azul stan I've ever encountered)

Jade: default manipulative evil butler character

Floyd: fan-favorite psychopath

Kalim: what's wrong with manslaughter, why aren't men allowed to laugh? :'(

Jamil: in desperate need of "I'm with stupid" shirts

Vil: "Bad Romance"-era Lady Gaga fan who can & will give you a 5-hour lecture about why gender roles are a spawn from hell (he's right)

Epel: idolizes Gigachad & also radiates big transmasc energy

Rook: hon hon la baguette (French Duolingo owl)

Idia: Levi from Obey Me! except sassier, even more depressed, and with flaming hair

Ortho: that one young child who just casually hangs out with the adults & no one questions a thing (also likes genocide)

Malleus: stealing gargoyles from ancient buildings = a declaration of my unrequited love for you

Lilia: punk grandpa who looks like a teenaged Discord e-girl

Silver: classic love interest from one of those otome games where the MC is a super feminine brunette damsel in distress with bangs, an actual face, and literally no personality

Sebek: sasaeng fanboy

Grim: token glutton mascot character with a squeaky voice

Crowley: Diavolo from Obey Me! except he's an irresponsible middle-aged wannabe Michael Jackson in an aloha shirt

Crewel: TILF (teacher I'd like to fuck)

Trein: don't talk to me or my cat or my cat portraits or my cat mug ever again

Vargas: JoJo character

Sam: dealer who has some sort of obsession with the devil

MC: how tf did all of this happen

...and now, I'm asking you to guess my favorite characters based on these descriptions.

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst meme #twst memes #twst #twst ace #twst deuce #twst trey #twst cater #twst riddle #twst ruggie #twst leona #twst jack #twst azul #twst jade #twst floyd #twst kalim #twst jamil #twst vil #twst epel #twst rook #twst idia #twst ortho #twst malleus #twst lilia #twst silver #twst sebek #twst crowley #twst crewel #twst trein

[mobbu-min]

☆ cat, kitty, cat (2) ☆

summary: In which an alchemy lesson went wrong and your favorite housewarden is turned into a kitten. Now you're tasked with caring for him.

a/n: due to popular demand, here is pt.2 to cat, kitty, cat! i can't thank you all enough for all the support and likes i've gotten! i couldn't fit all the housewarden in this part, but i will in pt.3!

featuring: Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim

!tw! cursing, spider, the leech twins

*you can find the other parts here! -> one, three

Azul Ashengrotto <3

“Get away from me, Floyd! I came for Azul! Not you!” You shouted in fear. Your breaths come out haggard the faster you push yourself to run.

“Oh~ C’mon shrimpy! Play with me!” Floyd laughed, running at you with full speed.

It was something out of a horror film. The narrow hallway, flickering lights, Floyd’s heavy footsteps and joyful, definitely maniacal, laughter. It was too much for your poor heart to handle. You really wished Azul would choose a better place to meet up. You basically had a whole ass workout every time you visited Monstro Lounge.

As fast as you could, you slammed open the door and shut it in the nick of time. Floyd’s loud whines echoing in your ears. Taking a large breath, you teased behind the thick door, “Ha! I won this time you slimy bitch!”

“I told you I’m not slimy! Just slippery!” You could see Floyd’s annoyed frown and ‘puppy-dog’ eyes. His manic laughter caught you off guard though. “Ahaha! I totally forgot!”

“Forgot what?” You questioned, leaning your ear against the door.

“Oh nothing shrimpy~ Have fun with Azul~” Floyd cooed, his footsteps growing fainter by the second. With a huff, you gently kicked the door in annoyance.

“Damn overgrown beanpole. You really like to get under my skin.” You groaned. Shaking your head you turned around and sat on one of the couches. It was odd for Azul not to be here directly after school and clubs, but chalked it up to him talking to potential clients. “That Azul, ever the hard worker.”

Just as you were about to relax, papers from Azul’s desk scattered across the floor followed by quick scampering. His rollie chair spinning around from the sudden movements. You stood up in a haste. Your heart pumping with fear.

What the hell was that?

You took hesitant steps towards his desk. Slowly coming to terms that maybe Floyd wasn’t just trying to get you riled up. He was eccentric, maybe a little psychotic, but he’s never really been big on lying like Jade. Oh, how you disliked the two.

“H-hello?” you called out gently. Slapping your hand on your face, you muttered, “why would anyone answer that?”

Shaking off your fear, you decided to go for it. Maybe it was just the air conditioning that did that. Yeah, surely it was just the air conditioning. But if it was someone who snuck in, you knew you had to at least do something about it.

Taking large quiet steps, you slowly got onto of Azul’s desk. The intruder wouldn’t expect an attack from above that's for sure. Your hands slowly took a hold of the ledge of the desk and with a deep breath, you stuck your head down.

“I got you!”

As a response, you got the least thing you were expecting. A scared shrill hiss. You blinked and jumped off the desk and crouched in front of the noise. You breathed a sigh of relief and gently cooed at the frightened creature.

“Oh, it’s just a kitten.”

Said kittens backed itself into a corner. Its chubby body curled up and its paws swatted at your hands. Luckily for you, your sleeves covered any attacks from its claws. Fingers delicately petting the top of its head to its ears to calm the small kitten. Trying to show that you were no threat.

“There, there. I’m not here to hurt you, buddy. I’m your friend, not an enemy.” To show your friendliness, you let your hand fall millimeters from his face. Urging it to come close. Slowly, but surely did the kitten sniff your hand and softly butted his small head against your outstretched hand. A small purr escaped its chest. Smiling, you gently coaxed it out of its hiding spot, “See, no one’s here to hurt you little guy. C’mon out, I promise I won’t bite.”

Timidly the little cat walked out of its hiding spot. It stared at you curiously. Soft lilac eyes blinked up at you, sparkling with wonder. Chuckling, you patted your lap signaling the kitten to hop on. Struggling a little due to its chubby body, the kitten soon situated itself on your lap. Snuggling against your thigh.

“You’re adorable. Hm, I wonder why you're here. Did Azul finally open up to my idea about getting a pet?” You laughed at the little kitten licks to your hand, “I guess he did! Azul’s kinda a funny guy if you think about it. Always going on and on about contracts, you'd think he’s an old man disguised as a teenage boy.”

You talked to the kitten for what felt like hours. Slowly forgetting your plans with Azul. The kitten merely purred and curled up impossibly close to your stomach. Finding comfort in your warmth and gentle hands.

The door to Azul’s office opened and out came Jade, holding a container of water and a can of tuna. A look of surprise flashed upon his face. Soon his signature smile graced his pale features again. Walking to you, he greeted you politely, “Good evening, (y/n). I see you and Azul are faring well.”

“Hello to you, Jade. And unfortunately no, Azul and I aren’t faring well. He’s late.” You huffed with a shake of your head. Standing up, you took the kitten in your arms and showed him to Jade, “All I found was a cat, a cute one at that.”

An amused smirk made its way to Jade’s face. Stifling a chuckle, he played along with your obliviousness. Poking the kitten’s belly, he chuckled, “My what a cute little belly. Surely, he must be hungry?”

You gasped and smiled in delight. “I totally forgot that he needs to eat! He’s a baby after all.”

Setting him on Azul’s desk, Jade placed down the tuna and water and pushed the kitten towards the food. “Go on.”

It shook in its place, backing away from Jade’s gaze and mischievous smile. Oblivious to Jade’s expression, you frowned and pushed the kitten forwards, “Eat up. I’m sure you're hungry.” It shook its head. Pushing it forwards, you coaxed, “Go kit-”

“Jade, grab Azul and let’s go!” Floyd said, slouching against the doorframe. His sleepy eyes immediately perked up at the sight of you and the kitten, “Oh! Shrimpy, you’re still here! Been keeping Azul company?”

“They have, though I think I may have given (y/n) too much credit in the brain department. It seems they don’t know the identity of the kitten they’ve grown so fond of.” Jaded answered, walking to stand besides his brother. Two pairs of eyes boring into your frozen body.

T-true identity? You thought, carefully picking up the kitten that squirmed in your hold. Like ice melting from the heat, you stared at the twin totally baffled and shouted, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier!”

☆☆☆

⋆ You didn’t trust either Jade or Floyd to take care of kitten Azul, so you took him back to Ramshackle. Of course, not after Floyd chasing after you, screaming how he just wants to give you and Azul a ‘goodbye squeeze’ aka death. Azul knew better and stayed in the breast pocket of your jacket until the both of you got in the safety of your dorm.

⋆ Maybe i'm a little biased, but Azul’s the cutest kitten. Big round lilac eyes and the softest gray fur. Not to mention his little pancita! So fucking adorable. Tho beware the more you coo and gush over his cuteness, the more embarrassed he gets and attempts to hide away.

⋆ Will faint the moment you press kisses to his little head. And literally wants to die the moment he starts to purr. It’s so embarrassing and your soft laugh doesn’t help!

⋆ Unlike most cats, he loves to play in water. Fill the bathtub up, he’ll happily splash around. This makes bathtime so much easier for you, because Grim always puts up a fight. Azul will fall asleep the moment you bundle him up like a burrito and cradle him to your chest. It's the calmest and most relaxed you’ve ever seen the devious business man to be.

⋆ Unlike the others, Azul will walk beside you and prefers to do so. It gives him some sort of semblance of normalcy. Be careful, because the moment Azul scampers up your leg it's time to book it. The both of you aren’t taking any chances of being crushed to death.

⋆ Like Riddle, he tries to keep up with his studies but it’s not really a priority. Because the moment you are in his line of sight, he’s walking right besides you and meowing for you to acknowledge him.

⋆ Speaking of acknowledging him, you thought Leona was bad, Azul on a whole other level. He’s a little attention seeker and refuses to leave you alone if you don’t scratch behind his ear or pet his head. He will crawl up your leg the longer you ignore him. If he’s feeling daring, he’ll climb up a tree or something high and scream until you come to get him.

⋆ Overall, Azul is pretty chill and living his best life in your arms, though he’ll never say it.

“What else does it look like? It’s coupons for the Monstro Lounge. You’ve wor-eh? N-no! I’m not trying to bribe you to forget! (coughs and clears throat) Ahem, please forgive my outburst. I’ll see you and Grim later tonight.”

Kalim Al-Asim <3

You were wrong, so terribly wrong.

You thought that your braincell and Kalim’s braincell would be able to join forces and make the ulimate braincell, powerful enough to rival Riddles. However you never considered that maybe you and Kalim didn’t have a braincell to begin with.

Well, you did, but that flew out the window in the presence of the sweet housewardern, but that doesn’t matter right now.

What matters is the fact that your lab partner, also number one bestie, stared up at you with the cutest red eyes known to man. You fell to your knees the moment the sweetest meow came out of his mouth. Wiping away your tears, you stared at the spotted kitten.

Maybe you should have listened to Crewel when he said that it wasn’t the brightest idea for the two of you to be paired up together. But alas, you assumed the best and, truthfully, you got the best.

“You’re the absolutely cutest, Kalim! So soft!” You gushed, cradling Kalim close to your chest. Humming in satisfaction the moment purrs escaped his throat. He, what you would only assume, smiled up at you and meowed in delight. “Adorable! Kalim you’re so cute!”

The two of you continued to play on the floor of the alchemy room. Ignorant to the confused and concerned gazes of your classmates or the exasperated sigh of your teacher. In your world, it was only you and Kalim.

That all came crashing down the moment you felt the burning anger of your fellow friend and Kalim’s vice-housewarden grazed your back. Kalim must have felt it too, because in an instant he was clinging to your shirt. Refusing to let go.

“What. the. hell. happened.”

Scooting to stare up at Jamil, you pointed to Kalim and gave him a nervous smile. Your brows creasing in fear and worry, “Um…congrats! You have a pet now!”

Jamil was pissed, Kalim was shaking, and you were on the verge of tears. You didn’t want to die, but it seems like this was the end for you. The cruel cold clutches of death are already clawing at your hands.

Jamil stared down at your tearful face and Kalim’s big red eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed. “Oh great sevens.”

Picking Kalim up by his scruff and you by your collar, he shook his head and dragged the both of you out, “I’m never leaving the two of you alone again.”

☆☆☆

⋆ Jamil wouldn’t let Kalim stay with you, unfortunately. Something about poison, family expectations and standards yada yada. You couldn’t hear him over your whining and tears and over Kalim’s sad meowing.

⋆ But you and Kalim are together during the day at least.

⋆ Kalim fur is a light brownish-orange with dark brown spots with a off-white belly. He’s the second smallest of the seven but the most energetic. Like his human counterpart, he has really big red eyes that kinda spooked you when he snuck into your room in the middle of the night. He just stared at you, making no moves, just staring.

⋆ Grim screamed bloody murder that night.

⋆ Kalim refuses to set foot on the ground when you're with him. Just loves sitting on your shoulder or head and staring at everyone and everything because of the new height. Loves to hang out in your pockets. He’s small enough to sleep comfortably in it.

⋆ Another love is to scare you. If Kalim’s not with you, you already know what’s going to happen the moment you turn around a corner or walk by anywhere big enough to hide the energetic kitten. Please pretend to be scared, because his reaction to your ‘frightened’ scream is the best. He jumps around then rolls on the ground then presses up against your leg as an apology.

⋆ Will proudly show you his ‘kills’ which are literally a leaf or flower that's sorta messed up. But Kalim’s funny in a way that you never truly know what you’re going to get despite his typical finding. One day it's a pretty flower, another he’s dropping a big ass hairy spider on your lap and you're screaming and crying, and the next it’s the answers to the next test.

⋆ Overall, a very energetic kitten that makes your day bright and leaves Jamil with the worst headaches in his life.

"Let’s have a sleep over tonight! Eh? What do you mean? (chuckling nervously) O-oh, I did that? Hehe, sorry sorry! I was probably enchanted by your cuteness! So is that a yes or a no to that sleep over? Jamil’s making your favorite!”

#azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim x reader #kalim al asim x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland hcs #twst hcs

[jungle-angel]

Two Birds In A Nest (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: You and Bob are just beginning to build your lives in Montana and hope that your family will grow with it

Warnings: Talks about starting a family, wanting a family, smut etc.

Your moans were tied together with Bob's even as you felt him gutter into you, an explosion of warmth blooming between your legs as your heavy breathing began to even out with each other's. You reached up, placing a hot hand against Bob's chest, feeling his fast heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Oh baby," he sighed happily, nuzzling your cheeks and your jaw. "My sweet (y/n), I can't get enough of you."

You giggled a little as you felt his baby smooth skin against yours, the both of you still sensitive to each other's kissing and caressing. Bob helped you up from your bed and into the bathroom, running a hot bath for the both of you to get you cleaned up. God it was heaven being in your brand new bathroom and not having to worry about who would be up at some ungodly hour of the morning to hog the shower. The steam carried with it the smell of Bob's Irish Spring body wash that he used on the both of you, gently washing every part of you that he could touch. Back into your shared bedroom you both went, crawling under the warm covers as the blizzard outside began to rage. Your house however, was so cozy and warm, the dogs sleeping soundly in their crates while the cats had taken to the laundry room in the finished basement.

You and Bob lay facing each other, chest to chest, tits pressing against each other and still warm from the bath. He looked like a dream with his soft cheeks, his limpid blue eyes that reminded you of the forget-me-nots that popped in your garden every spring. The lazy but loving smile on his face was almost the same as his dad's, the spitting image in all those family photos of Bob as a baby being held by Joe, his father.

Yet there was something that stirred and ached in your chest. You couldn't put your finger on what it was or why it was there, but it was.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Bob asked, seeing the worrisome look playing with your face.

"Do you ever feel like something's missing?" you asked in reply.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," you answered a little sadly. "I just.....I pass by one of the empty rooms and all I can see in there is you standing over a crib.....a little baby in your arms.....maybe you're sitting in the rocker singing and rocking him or her to sleep."

Bob could feel his eyes burning and a few loose tears beginning to form. Growing up the youngest in a big family, he spent endless days playing with all his nieces and nephews, sometimes watching them while his brothers and sisters either didn't have the time to do so or had to go on a SEAL team mission like his oldest sister, Reagan's husband. Picking them up from school, playing with them and taking care of them had made him feel as though there had been a hole somewhere that he could just hardly fill. Ever since the two of you had gotten married, he wanted so badly to have just that....a family of your own and a house that truly felt like home.

"Oh baby," he cooed, kissing your cheeks. "It'll happen, don't you worry."

You had hoped so. God you had hoped so. It was all you could think about, even when you were at the school trying to teach your fifth graders about ancient India and having to fill one side of the chalkboard with a drawing from The Ramayana. Now that you and Bob could finally have the time to try, you were excited, happy, nervous and scared all at once.

"Do you....do you wanna try?" you asked him a little meekly.

You felt him roll his body on top of yours, the heat intensifying a little bit from the heavy duvet you only used in the winter. "Hell yes," Bob murmured, his lips gently grazing against yours.

You felt him kiss you gently, just as he had done earlier that night, the wetness beginning to build again between your legs as his red hot, throbbing cock slipped inside you with ease. You sighed and moaned happily as his hips thrust gently in and out of you, slowly drawing your orgasm out of you. It was almost like the blizzard outside, dizzying and a wild flurry of moans, groaning and skin slapping against skin before everything calmed down and you and Bob were resting skin-to-skin against each other.

"You think this one will take?" you asked sleepily.

"I've got a feeling," Bob yawned.

Sure enough it did. After almost a week of you waking up sick, you and Bob were over the moon to find that it had taken, the tears filling his eyes when he hears the baby's heartbeat for the first time, more so when you learn that it's a little boy, your tiny little August Robert Floyd, who becomes the biggest blessing your family has ever received.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #dagger squad

[dotster001]

Twisted Wonderland Masterlist 2

Masterlist 1

This masterlist features fics and HC's that are about multiple characters.

Headcanons

Mean girl hcs- fem reader x Idia, Crewel, Crowley, malleus, Vil, and rook. A mean girl bullies you and they step in.

Period Simulator HCS- reader x Vil/Malleus/Idia/Rook/Crowley/Crewel you make your boyfriend try a period simulator.

Period Simulator HCs part 2- reader x Trein/Riddle/Azul/Jade/Sebek

Period Simulator HCs part 3- reader x Trey/Leona/Kalim/Jamil/Lilia

S/O like Rio Voleri Hcs- Jamil x reader, Leona x reader. S/O who is a lot like Rio Voleri from Court of Darkness? What could go wrong?

Sweet S/O Who's Dad is a Mafia boss HCS- Fem reader x Leona, Jamil and Vil

Passing out from Burnout Hcs- Floyd/Rook/Vil/Jamil x gn!reader. HC's for when reader gets burnt out, and passes out

Passing out from Burnout HCs part two- Malleus/Lilia/Trein/Crewel

Passing out from Burnout HC's Three- Riddle/Cater/Azul/Kalim

HC's for second years Crushing on Malleus'younger Brother

HC'S for Diasomnia crew with reader who has been alive since titan times

S/O who wears a mask to hide their heterochromia HC's- Lilia/Riddle/Azul/Rook/Vil x reader

HC's for S/O who gives Cheka a kiss-Dorm leaders x reader

Househusband Au HC's- Crewel/Vil/Crowley/Rook/Malleus/Idia x reader

Househusband au HC's 2- Riddle/Cater/Leona/Deuce/Kalim

Queer platonic relationship HC's with aro dorm leaders and aro reader. First Years

HC's for when you accidentally call the staff dad

HC's when you call the Diasomnia boys Knight in shining armor or prince charming

HC'S for a significant other with a ton of pillows and blankets- x first year crew

Gyutaro-like Yuu HC's- Malleus/Cater/Ace/Ruggie/Deuce

S/O like Dia Akedia HC's- Jade/Vil x reader

When the "dad's" find out you are dating Neige- staff HC's

S/O like Toa Qelsum HC's- Ace/Deuce/Epel x reader

What kind of parents are they?

Riddle/Lilia/Trey/Cater x reader who loves to brag about them

Rook/Riddle/Ruggie/Trey/Sebek x reader with Ethereal Personality

They are dating someone, then meet their soulmate. What will the do? Ace/Sebek/Rook/Sam/Leona

Dorm leaders react to Piercings

Malleus/Lilia/Leona/Kalim/Vil x cynical s/o

Jack/Idia/Kalim/Floyd/Chenya x mc who wears headphones all the time

Housewardens and Floyd x ex gifted child MC

Overblot Crew x mc with 0 impulse control

Crewel/Crowley/Vil/Rook/Idia/Malleus on labor Simulator

Riddle/Leona/Ruggie/Lilia/Idia wake up to a cat on their chest, that belongs to you

Idia/Malleus/Rook/Vil/Crewel/Crowley meet their future kids

Calling Leona/Jamil/Vil/Rook a pet name in public

Jade/Leona/Vil/Floyd break up with you for someone else, and regret it too late

The Basketball boys get a kiss on the cheek after a win

Vil/Rook/Lilia/Malleus x fem reader who wears a witch costume for Halloween

Jamil/Sebek/Malleus x fem reader who makes them a feast when they're down

Fics

Memories of Wonderland- After a near death experience, you unlock memories you forgot you had. Chapters: One Two

Lab Safety- You're taking the school's safety into your own hands after one to many alchemy accidents.

How you met/enemies to lovers mini series for @stygianoir -Idia. -Vil. -Crewel. -Crowley. -Malleus. -Rook. Requested Additions: -Lilia -Leona

How They Get you under the Mistletoe - all boys x reader everyone else

For Tuna-Grim tries to get us a sugar daddy so that he can have good tuna. For Tuna; the Search Continues For Tuna;Snack Break Choose your Ending Bonus Features

Caterer-Fem!Reader. No one thinks you can cook for the entirety of Heartslaybul Dorm.

Comfort From the Depths- You're scared of the ocean, and octotrio help out

What kind of girl they like- all boys x fem! Reader Masc Version gn! Version

Look at this Photograph- Grim is tasked with photographing the boys for a beauty pageant. Why people would think he could it?

Lean on Me- You're at an RSA/NRC mixer and see an old friend....from your home world

That's What Friends Are For- Ramshackle is not allowed to participate in the founder's day festivities. Chaos ensues.

Self Love and Braided Bracelets- Y/N's harem of self care

Battle Royale- Y/N has a crush on someone! And everyone is certain it's them....

When you escape him series masterlist- Yandere x reader he adopts a child that looks like the two of you. You both escape, but he finds you years later.

The Ghost Groom- Fem reader is taken by the ghost groom! Can the boys save her? Probably not

Waking him up with a kiss- Jamil/Malleus/Silver x reader

Snowball War- Epel asks for your help in a prank that quickly spirals

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #masterlist

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hi there! Uh can i request for a gn player(in the self aware au, player is already in twisted wonderland) who's really good at making cosmetics? Like really high quality make up and or skin care(since we have a talented tailor what about a cosmetic chemist genius?) And can make a business out of it if they want?(they need money afterall and they're in a whole new world) With vil, lilia and azul? (Separately) Thank you!!😊

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, imprisonment, kidnapping, murder, poison, beheading, death

Azul Ashengrotto/Vil Schoenheit/Lilia Vanrouge-Player who can make high quality cosmetics

How interesting

Usually Azul would make a deal so that you would produce the stuff for him for the rest of your life so he can sell it

But how could he do that with you?

I mean, you are the Overseer, the figure he had been looking up to his entire life

There is no exploitation, no backstabbing and most of all, no contracts

Or rather, no contracts forcing you to work (that freedom thingy is another subject)

But if you ever want to start a business then he is always there for you (and that freedom contract thingy but we don't talk about that... yet...)

If you ever were to give him skincare or cosmetics for free then he would tear up

You know how important appearances are for him so it's no wonder

What is a wonder though is that octopuses are apparently capable of making cat sounds

Ok, no they aren't but the second Floyd once touched a bottle of your stuff he was literally hissing at the eel

If you ever insist on rubbing the stuff onto his face you will have to deal with a blue screening dorm leader

He is trying to use as little as possible every time he uses the products

Wouldn't want to waste a single bit you know?

But if you ever give someone else also your products... oh dear Hades...

Suddenly he is forcing you into a contract which basically forbids contact with people that aren't him

But at least he will get you whatever you need for more skincare and cosmetic produce

Vil lives and breathes cosmetics and skincare products

So one day he is just talking to them and, would you look at that, they are giving him high quality stuff

This would already be enough to make the model fall to his knees and thank you

But then you tell him you made these yourself

Please check his pulse. I'm not sure if he is still alive

If you don't understand why he is reacting this way: here is everything a bit more explained

At first, he was thinking that perfection themselves were somewhat thinking of him, probably having put that into their shopping cart when they were out getting groceries

But then you made them yourself! You made something for him! HIM!!!

Can't... did he hear something odd just now?

Rook fell out of the tree he was sitting on, watching you two

He is thanking you without stop

And maybe you want to start a business?

Vil knows how hard it is in the beauty and fashion market and that you have little to no chance without contacts

So let him be yours! He will make sure that you will have very good deals with luxury brands

And that would also mean that you could finally move out of that... house...

But do not gift someone else your products. Apples can be poisonous you know?

Lilia just fell

Ok, I can see the confusion on your face so let me explain

He was just dangling from a tree, being the bat that he is

And then the Overseer taps on his back

Don't ask me how he didn't notice you earlier

And there we have it, a Fae on the floor

Has he done something wrong? Why are you here? Was his prayer last night not long enough? Should he cut off his head as a way of asking for forgiveness??!

No Lilia, they don't like heads as an apology

But then you help him up and oh, he has fallen even more for you

Please don't give him what you made for him! Why? Well...

You know, Fae curt, right?

And their courting is pretty materialistic, right?

So I'm asking you, what do you think what kind of signals you are sending him if you give him something you made yourself?

Say bye to Ramshackle and hi to a mansion in the middle of the woods

No way he will let you set foot into the outside world ever again

Don't you worry darling! He knows you are rather poor at the moment so he will graciously accept this little gift of yours! In return he will give you his heart. Literally if you wish so...

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #self aware au #yandere azul #yandere azul x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere vil #yandere vil schoenheit #yandere vil x reader #yandere lilia #yandere lilia x reader #yandere lilia vanrouge #tw: yandere #tw: obsession #tw: imprisonment #tw: kidnapping #tw: murder #tw: poison #tw: beheading #tw: death

[galaxyshine24-7]

Yuu saying he has a favorite client just to upset the mafia boys, they just don't know that Yuu's favorite client is Grim

I got some inspiration to write a little dabble I hope you enjoy it.❤

The Bartender's Favorite

It was a crisp afternoon as the leaders of NRC gathered around the bar after an early meeting. Azul Ashengrotto stares down Yuu as they make him a cup of expresso making a small design of an octopus out of cream and foam.

"Thank you, Prefect." Azul gracefully takes the cup away from Yuu blowing on it gently before taking a small sip. "This has to be your best cup yet."

"Thank you Azul, it was nothing special." Yuu raises a brow at the overly friendly dealer.

"It's just always so nice how attentive you are to me." Azul rests his head on his hands letting out a sly smile.

"I'm attentive to all my customers," Yuu replies politely.

"Yes, but I'm just expressing my gratitude for your excellent customer service." He hums.

Leona growls from his seat on the couch glaring at Azul.

"Shut it octo punk, you act like the herbivore treats you like their favorite." Leona glares.

"Why Kingscholar of course I'm Yuu's favorite." Azul turns around the the stool crossing his legs.

A chill fills the room at the sudden proclamation as the other leaders zero in on the conversation.

"What makes you think you're their favorite?" Vil raises a pointing brow placing his luxurious fan in front of his face to hide his scowl.

"It should be obvious, I donate the most to help with their business, and I'm nothing but polite. I even have Jade and Floyd offer protection when the dear Prefect needs it. So of course I would be their favorite." Azul challenged thinking no one could prove him wrong.

"Like hell, they would like a blackmailing sleaze ball like you." Leona sits up.

"I assure you Kingscholar I'm far more suitable to be their favorite than you." Azul huffs.

"You both are being presumptuous." Riddle cuts in.

"I agree." Vil ads. "Prefect has some taste at least."

"So what Vil you think you're the favorite because you're prettier?" Idia sighs in his corner finally speaking up.

"Of course who else would it be." Vil crosses his legs glaring at Idia.

"I think I'm a good customer," Kamil speaks up. "I always compliment them and make sure to give them a big tip."

"That's the least you should do Kamil." Riddle shakes his head. "Tips should be a regular occurrence."

"I know, but I make sure to give them a little extra. At least 100 dollars every time I come." Kamil beams.

Riddle almost spits out his tea with that revelation.

"100 dollars!" Riddle gasps.

The leaders stare with widened eyes as Kamil smiles happily the sudden sound of Yuu laughing catches their attention. Yuu leans against the counter looking at the group in front of them.

"I guess this is amusing for you child of man?" Malleus, who actually made it to the meeting, leans against the wall watching Yuu straighten themselves.

"A little, but my favorite customer is a secret sorry guys." Yuu shrugs.

"So you do have a favorite?" Idia states.

"Of course, I do every bartender has one." Yuu smiles

It was now the most important mystery to the mafia boys. Soon everyone spread the word about Yuu's favorite mystery customer. They all tried to figure out who it was, but at the end of the day, no one could find the answer.

All Yuu did was smile, and shake their head whenever the boys tried to guess while scratching the chin of their true favorite customer their precious cat, Grim.

THE END

#twisted wonderland #silver bullet au #twst silver bullet au #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #asks #twisted wonderlandxreader #my writing

[0little-miss-scare-all0]

General Dethklok/Managerial Headcanons :3

A/N: this may or may not be dry asf i'm writing b4 the hcs so i don't forget😭😭

this is NOT proofread

Nathan Explosion :

i think he's like 6'5

its just this weird hunch i have

definitely somewhere from 28-35

i don't make the rules man😔

obviously Native American from the whole bloodlines episode

i can't remember what it's called for the life of me😭

i don't have any other nationality hcs for him

i think the show does it well enough

has gauges idc

they probably aren't hella big, but they're there

maybe an industrial or some kind of cartilage piercing

i think his favorite song they've made is Mutilation on a Saturday Night

it makes him think of early dethklok without the prophecies and shit

favorite album is the Dethalbum

probably has a bias bc it's the first project they did (totally not projecting rn😭)

song that makes me think of him is Ugly Model Mannequin by Cane Hill

idk why, it just does

Skwisgaar Skwigelf :

he's 6'10 NO ONE can convince me otherwise

his tagline isn't "taller than a tree" for nothing man

i saw someone say that Brendon himself said Nathan and Skwisgaar are the same age, so i'm not touching on that

biggest Swede ever man

like he quite literally had the Swedish flag on his belt buckle in Doomstar Requiem

go look it up i'm not joking

but maybe his dad is from like Switzerland to make him a slight bit more interesting

i doubt that he'd have any piercings

maybe his ears but that's it

i just cant see him with anything crazy

someone mentioned an elf ear body mod for him

makes sense that fairy

that last one was uncalled for hold on😭😭

this guys favorite song is awaken

he just loves the instrumentals

the little do-do-do-do do do do do do they do

idk how to explain it just go give it a listen😭

favorite album is the Dethalbum III

i think he likes how all the songs sound similar, so it isn't hard to remember the riffs (don't mention my terminology i am the farthest thing from a guitarist😭)

song that reminds me of him is Viking by Slaughter to Prevail

i just think he relates to the whole viking lineage thing

also the breakdown goes HARDDD

Toki Wartooth :

maybe like 6'1

this is going off gut feeling, not anything related to the show

i think he's like 25

he didn't look that old in Doomstar Requiem

the type of guy to sneak in like 20 cats and give them treats to not make noise

i think he regresses to like 6-7

idk why i just think yk

i think he also has gagues

they're probably white

he totally has an eyebrow piercing that pickles did in like 1900 BC that he didn't want anymore so he just let that hoe close

i think with the way his family is he would just be 100% Norwegian

no ifs not buts

might know some Latin

probably just prayers and shit like that

his favorite song they've made is Dethharmonic

or the Deththeme

for Dethharmonic he likes the orchestral elements

for the Deththeme he just likes that his name is first😭

i'd say his favorite album is the second one

just bc the album cover is purple, literally no other reason

probably bc it stands out from all other death metal albums

purple probably isn't considered a "metal" color (it should be though)

a song that reminds me of him is Summer Breeze by Type O Negative

i think he'd appreciate how chill it is

Pickles the Drummer :

bro easily 5'6-5'8

he's a short king

Wisconsin 100% his family is from no where else

like the drummer family goes back to the 13 colonies

obviously he has four piercings

those eyebrow ones

i think he has some on his ears

cartilage but not industrial

his favorite song they've made is Hatredcopter

he just loves how he sounded and the drums (based)

i forgot to say how old he is

he's the oldest, so i'd say like 39

they're not allowed to be 40 bc i said so

i think his favorite album is Dethalbum IV

it just makes him proud to see how far they've come since Dethalbum I

a song that makes me think of him is Wrong Way by Sublime

and Your Mama Won't Know by Pretty Boy Floyd

he's most definitely taunting TF out of the band with that "mom" shit

"go get mommy a bottle" "give mommy the remote"

he's insufferable (i would be too)

William Murderface :

he's 5'10 and i HAVE to be firm on that

probably like 30

MAYBEEE 33 if i feel generous

he hates pickles

the food, not the drummer

along with Toki, he also loves Christmas

it just "isn't brutal" so he won't admit it

he's like a 5 year old when that shit rolls around

that's why he wanted that special so damn bad

his favorite album is also Dethalbum IV

he just loves the new sound

a song that reminds me of him is Subliminal by Suicidal Tendencies

i feel like he'd like their whole self titled and Lights... Camera... Revolution

i cant speak for all of Freedumb, bc i only listen to Cyco Vision, but he'd like that song too

i get a big Murderface vibe from them

maybe it's the whole punk thing

and Murderface being a Nihilist

it just ties it all together with a nice big blood red bow

i think hes latino like i've seen everyone say

he can probably speak Spanish well

speaks the Spain dialect (i'm not very educated about this tell me all abt it in either reblogs or comments)

Charles Offdensen :

he's like 6'2 or 6'3

i cant decide

i think it would be so funny if he was like 40 and the band made him seem 56

in reality he's probably like 42

that seems right to me

went to some high end law school

i'm pretty sure that's when they said he jousted

idk i just remember he can do it

i like to think he's wasian

Korean and Swiss if we wanna be specific

he grew up in American bc i love my country✊🏻😔😔

anyway, i say wasian bc he has a monolid i think

at least it looks like it to me

maybe it's just his glasses hiding it who knows

probably from the middle of buttfuck nowhere

like some place in Oregon

his favorite album is the Doomstar Requiem soundtrack

IDC WHAT YALL HAVE TO SAY

i think he likes how fun it is

and is very cocky about how good his parts are

his favorite song tho is Poisoned by Food

the opening scream is his shit

a song that reminds me of him is Visage by LANDMVRKS

it's kind of quiet at the beginning which helps him lock in for the rest of the song and all the songs after it

probably listens to metal all day, then goes to bed and listens to some goth shit

maybe even classical if he's feeling posh

wasn't raised religious, but still celebrated the holidays

the christian ones specifically

a canon fidgeter

in Dethdinner he was wiggling his fingers

thank you to that one charles lover with the spreadsheet of his behaviors i forget their handle

they pointed it out and i've geeked abt it ever since

Abigail Remedlindrinc :

don't quote me on her last name i cant spell that fuckin thing😭

i think she's like 5'8 easily

probably 34

not much older than Murderface but definitely not younger

shes probably from somewhere normal like Pittsburgh

ofc i say where i'm from for normal

anyway she's definitely not from PA idk what i was on abt

i cant think of a specific place she'd be from

i feel bad i don't have much for her i love her sm

she probably still has Nathan's number saved

in my heart they're still best friends

in canon god does she hate him

she's just so amazing i love her

Dick Knubbler :

this man omfg

he's like 5'10 too

maybe 5'11 on a good day

he looks old

maybe like 40

up there with charles 100%

hes such a goofy mf i hate him

but like i hate him lightheartedly

my dad loves him he thinks he's funny

he looks like the type of mf to talk in his sleep

he definitely rolls around a lot too

has to have a big ass bed or his frail ass will fall off

i think of him when i hear any pop song from the 80s

like Taylor Dayne, and Prince even though i think he was 90s

idk man i wasn't alive😭

#metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #william murderface #toki wartooth #charles foster offdensen #charles offdensen #abigail remeltindtdrinc #dick knubbler #i feel like such a nerd writing this #dey widderwy do all this widderwy🤓

[robo-milky]

[More Info]

Nicknames:

Henchman (Grim) | Claws (Ace) | Clochey Wochey (Cater) | House Cat (Leona)

Shrimpy (Floyd) | Trickster -> La Petite Clochette (Rook) | City Kitty (Epel) | Kit -> Honorary Human (Sebek)

Kit of Beasts -> Heart of Man (Malleus)

In Return:

Master _____ (Everyone except for faculty)

Uncle (Ramshackle Ghosts)

Bio:

An emotionally distant girl who thinks with her brains more than her heart. Her words may come off as insensitive, but it’s always said in a neutral tone. Prefers to state the facts and look for the most efficient way out, than tackling more abstract concepts like emotions. Despite this outlook on life, she is a skeptical, worst-case scenario planner. Cloche will go the extra mile if it means security and success is guaranteed. When it comes anything, be it a task/person/subject, Cloche is the type of person who would want to know anything and everything about it to be prepared. When push comes to shove, Cloche will take on the role of leadership and make all the hard decision no one else wants to make. Cloche is a very “the ends justify the means” kind of person.

Core Values -> Competency + Freedom

Background:

A cosplayer from Earth who, after exiting from a con, took a wrong turn to get home and was swept away by the NRC horse carriage.

Ghost Camera: “I’m pretty sure Headmaster Crowley gave this to me as binding to keep me here.”

Snow Hand Cream: “Master Rook could tell this cream is from Neige’s line just by the smell! Isn’t that impressive?”

Bandaids: “I originally bought these for myself, but I end up giving them to others…”

Advils: “Would you like one? Binding Bells told me you were getting headaches, so…”

Handkerchief: “Here, let me wipe that up for you, Master.”

Hair ties: “Master Epel gave them to me during a joint P.E. class. The day after, I overheard Master Vil complaining about his missing hair ties.”

Pencil Case: “If you wish to borrow a pencil, I expect you to give me something back as collateral— so I know you’ll return it back to me.”

Lollipops: “The lollipops in Twisted Wonderland are great and all, but they can’t beat the taste of Chupachups.”

Thread and Needle: “Oh, you’re missing a button.”

Lactaid: “You don’t need one… do you?”

Scrapbook: “Do NOT touch.”

Textbook: “I’m so close annotating the whole book. Just a couple pages left…”

Spiral bound notebook: “Master Rook complimented the calligraphy title in my notes! …Maybe I should do the same thing for futures ones.”

Phone: “Master Grim, please stop playing games…”

Sketchbook: “Master Epel complained about me drawing him too ‘girly’, but I only drew what I saw.”

Notable Thoughts: Cloche’s

“Headmaster Crowley must be busy running such a prestigious school like this… So busy, I wonder if he’d have time looking for a way I can go back to my world.”

“Master Grim’s orders aren’t as bad you think. All he really does is make me do his share of the chores. The simplicity of his orders are a blessing compared to other students’…”

“Master Ace may be annoying when he exploits my curse, but he can be a surprisingly sweet friend. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Is it bad I felt no sympathy for Master Kalim when Master Jamil overblotted?”

“I feel like I’ve been seeing Epel more and more since he stayed over at Ramshackle for the VDC. I get that it’s probably convenient for him to go with me, if we’re going to head back to the same destination anyways, but he doesn’t have to accompany during short breaks.”

“I think Master Rook is very admirable! He’s intelligent, athletic, and creative! …I wish more people could give him a chance and see him for who he really is— but… he probably wouldn’t like that… After all, half the things I know about him, he’s never told me in person.”

“Before asking Master Idia for homework help, Master Grim and I always play a game of rock-paper-scissors. …Why? Because neither of us want to be the bargaining chip.”

Notable Thoughts: Others’

“Cloche could’a been the perfect henchman if he didn’t have to call other people ‘Master’!” - Grim

“With Cloche around, Heartslabyul doesn’t have to resort to using a cat beastman to play the violin, but an actual cat. That way, we can follow rule 529 without any loopholes.” - Riddle

“Me, friends with that stick in the mud? Pfft—! As if!” - Ace

“Even in a sticky situation, I’ve never seen Cloche lose his cool before. I wonder how he does it…” - Deuce

“I can’t have Leona ordering Cloche around, cause he’ll steal my job!” - Ruggie

“It’s such a shame Cloche refused my offer for him to work at the Monstro Lounge. …We could have made good money and attracted more customers if we used his cat form to promote on our Magicam…” - Azul

“I thought I could feel the claws of a wild beast, but there’s a beauty to reservation too.” - Rook

“‘Master Hornton’, an amusing nickname, indeed. I was under the impression Cloche had known my identity, but it seems my expectations had been subverted.” - Malleus

Extras/Trivia:

- Birthday: May 12

- ISTJ-T/6w5

- “She/Her” is only used in a meta/narration sense, otherwise— she uses “he/him”

- When Cloche is in her cat form, she has no conscious thoughts and move as if she’s on autopilot, like a normal cat.

- Cloche has no distinct handwriting. It varies depending on what she’s writing and who it’s for— yet even then, no two letters look the same.

- Cloche has no inner fur in her ears. It’s to signify that the cat ears are unnatural— fake.

- Has a habit of either covering her mouth with her hand/sleeve or turning away whenever she breaks into a genuine smile. Can smile on command for a camera (cosplayer intuition).

- Goes to the school forest to calm down whenever she feels emotional or if she has an inkling that her feral side will come out

- Cloche has germaphobic tendencies.

Gallery:

Cards:

Groovy!! [SR Tsumsitter]

Groovy!! [SSR Union/Birthday Jacket]

[SR Luxe Couture]

#hiiiii so I made a new cloche bio for the sake of clarity- #now that I’ve finally settled on her lore and I’m taking her more seriously than a silly meme yuu- I think I’m happy with this? #oc: cloche🎊 #cat scribblez 🌸 #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #my art #twst yuu #twst mc #twst ocs #twst disney #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #yuusona #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #twst art #twisted wonderland art

[adrianasunderworld]

Something I really like in the House of Mouse AU is that the OG sidekicks have really taken a shine to their twisted counterparts

Like the Queen of Hearts’ card soldiers treating the twst!card soldiers as little brothers

The Cheshire Cat treating Che’nya as though they’ve been best friends for life

Shenzi, Banzai and Ed adopting Ruggie into their cackle

Flotsam and Jetsam just absolutely loving Floyd and Jade

Aladdin’s carpet enjoys playing with Kalim’s carpet

Queen Grimhilde’s crow likes to hang around with Epel sometimes (I know Epel represents the apple but technically the crow was there when the poisoned apple was made so technically it counts)

Humbert the Huntsman is too terrified of Rook to say anything so he just sits there in traumatised silence

The OG seven dwarfs being grandpas to the twst!seven dwarfs

Maleficent’s goblin minions having a blast whenever they see Sebek (again I know that he’s Maleficent’s lightning but they get zapped with lightning so it works)

It’s nice and cute watching the villains grow soft for Yuu and their twisted selves but these henchmen have their own counterparts as well that their protective of

The villains are rooting for their boys, but the sidekicks are going "One of us! One of us!" :D

I like to think Lucius and Lucifer are just napping together somewhere. Like they found a nice to curl up in and are just chilling.

I feel like Humbert the Hunstman is just really awkward, ya know? He didn't want to kill Snow White, he let her go, he doesn't know why he's here counting as a henchman. He figured Rook was a nice enough guy, but also he says some off putting things and this man is scared. He just wants to home tbh.

Sebek is trying, key word there is trying, to bring some order to Maleficents goblin henchmen. But after learning that babies do grow after sixteen years, they still horribly misunderstood and are under the impression that Sebek is a big baby wanting to be a grown up. So his attempts to bring order are met with "Aww! Look at him! He's trying to be a big boy now!"

Also you know the episode where Pinocchio starts hanging out with Pain and Panic and they're being a bad influence on him? That. But with Ortho. They like him, don't get me wrong, but they also want him to loosen up and have, what they think, is a good time.

#twisted wonderland #house of mouse au

[khoipyan]

stroke of luck, meow.

after an accident in the science lab, you’re suddenly stuck in the body of a tiny kitten for who knows how long? fortunately for you, crewel decided that turning into a tiny cat was punishment enough… BUT, you were handed over to the tweels.

characters; floyd leech, jade leech

warnings; no major ones, you’re turned into a tiny kitty for the duration of this, can be seen as romantic or platonic, gn!reader

notes; oh my god i love cats cats are so fluffy mwhahagdhwyw tiny silly silly

floyd leech

how entertaining! such a sweet, tiny kitty like you in the arms of a 6’3 chaotic leech twin. what could absolutely go wrong?

floyd keeps forgetting that you’re an absolutely tiny cat scouring around the floors mostro lounge, definitely. where did shrimpy go? oh, he toootally forgot you’re that tiny cat on one of the tables. sorry!

you're so tiny, so small and so cute, but also very fragile and... vulnerable. hey, why are you looking at him like that? hey, don't run away! a tiny kitty like you isn't very fast compared to regular him anyways.

he adores chasing you around mostro lounge, especially when the lounge itself is open and running. he sees it as a fun little game... of tag, or hide and seek! but why is he always it? because he likes chasing you.

in one of his bad moods, he'll allow you to loaf sit on his lap (or just a leg, since you're small, you know?) as he's just lying around. to relieve his stress, he likes patting your fluffy coat of fur. who doesn't cheer up when petting a cat?

by the time you're back to a regular person, floyd is disappointed that you aren't as small as he remembered. but at the same time, he's glad that you're back!

now let him give ya a squeeze.

jade leech

the more responsible one of the two, of course!

floyd often forgets to feed you, and you're left meowing beside the food bowls that they had put out for you. but jade is such an angel, isn't he? he even makes sure to occassionally treat you with lactose-free milk in your water bowl.

(most if not all cats are 'lactose-intolerant' because they lack the enzyme lactase)

he had to resist for a bit, but the temptation was too much. jade might have never gotten the opportunity for this again! he'll carry you on his shoulder while taking orders. hang on tight, or else you'll fall!

it might not look like it, but jade enjoys bathing you more than anything (especially in the sinks of mostro lounge, he thinks it's funny). you're so tiny in his hands as you're being crowded and swarmed with bubbles, it's almost laughable in a good way.

and he loves the way your fur fluffs up after tending to it with a hairdryer. where did he even get that from, why did he have it with him in the first place?

jade spoils you too much throughout the time you're a kitten, but why? well, you certainly find out that it was just a short break for you and him before he starts teasing you.

jade's smile shows off all of his sharp teeth, "so what were the events that led up to--"

"none of your business! little accident, big deal!"

"but i took much care and even pampered you, wouldn't you care to enlighten me even just a little bit?" he sheds a fake and non-existant tear. it's back to the usual, it seems.

however, i think he enjoys it better this way.

— due to be edited at anytime —

#writing!🍤 #got a bit too carried away w jade #oops #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #jade #jade leech #floyd #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd x reader #jade x reader #jade x you #jade leech x you #floyd leech x you #floyd x you #floyd leech x y/n #jade leech x y/n #floyd leech x mc #floyd leech x yuu #jade leech x yuu #scrib.bles🫧

[fanfic-gallery]

under the mistletoe

✎ night raven housewardens x gn! reader

|| includes : riddle roseheart, leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto

|| fluff

✎ manager's note : ho ho ho~ merry Xmas everybody! if you thot santa was coming to deliver you presents, welp, you’re wrong! you’re stuck with me being your gift giver heheh~ but i hope you all enjoy these short scenarios i hv crafted <3

✦˚ riddle :

“w-what.. in.. queen’s name..”

christmas within heartslabyul is as followed according to the book of ‘the queen’s rules’ like any other event held inside its walls. preparations were coming in steadily; roses dusting in red and white, creases ceasing to exist on any laid checkered tablecloth. everything was perfect.. except a certain shrub hanging on top of the gates towards the main garden.

in riddle’s defence he had kept his tone quite mellow by the standard of trey and carter, but overtime that patience drew thin and his urge release his anger came in due time. panic settled in, deuce alongside carter was scrabbling for answer as trey booked it for riddle’s side; ace, on the other hand, also left in a state of shock had calmed down when eyes noticed you and grim trailing from behind, yet dread shot back up when remember the mistletoe above the warden’s head.

had noticing the commotion, you and grim stood in confusion till you eyed up certain specks of white looming over your head. thinking not much of it, you ducked back down towards riddle, who in turn, had been screaming his lungs out; carefully you leaned in and pressed your lips against his heated cheek before parting and leading grim and yourself into the garden.

let’s just say your ‘christmas gift’ to the young tyrant left him [and everyone else] completely speechless.

✦˚ leona :

“a warning, mutt, don’t do.. that again-”

parties were never the prince’s thing; the noise and ruckus was an absolute headache to deal with. on nights like these, he’d sneak his ways inside the school’s botanical garden, going unnoticed, to take a quick cat nap till ruggie barges in to wake him up. yet, this christmas, instead of awaking to his fellow vice, he was met with a certain herbivore asking for trouble.

you had heard news of savanaclaw’s christmas party and was even personally invited by jack himself to join in. truly, you had expected munching down on local foods and drinks not a steak out mission to lure mr kingscholar back to his dormitory yet you still begrudgingly agreed on earning a favor from ruggie. it had took you a millennia to reach the tops of the glass dome, having slipped several times and bruising your skin [even leaving scars and gashes].

looking up and down the place, you finally found the precious prince laying below from shaded trees. taking advice from his literal caretaker, you shuffled into the greenery, only standing a foot away from stomping on the feline. it was then sparkles of white under the moonlight caught your attention. noticing the branches filled with mistletoe above you had your face burning red. not wanting to follow along with tradition yet needing someway to wake the sleeping lion..

..you drew closer, pecking the tip of his nose, in turn, eyes fluttered in irritation yet on closer inspection, a light hint of red dusts his cheeks.

✦˚ azul :

“you were close, but.. not close enough~”

despite the jolly season, floyd had been whining non-stop since winter break, his bored had taken quite the toll on his mood that even jade felt that nothing could be done about it yet with remember a certain shrimpy that was also stuck within their dorms, he decided to devise some plan to make his holiday a little worth wild.

he had been skimming through some of his brother’s ‘about nature’ books he kept around their room when he stumbled upon a weed that landfolk had held a tradition against. if the flora is hung over two individuals’ heads, they were made to exchange an quick intimate moment on the lips; with knowing about your little crush on his housewarden, why wouldn’t he take advantage of that and cause some chaos fun for his own entertainment.

and so he decided the best plan of action was strapping some on azul’s private room within the lounge before rushing to pay you a little visit. you hesitantly took his suggestion of a game, since you and grim were growing fairly weary as winter break went on. both of you travelling your ways into the almost empty mostro lounge with having you knocking on azul’s door to call him out. with a creak, azul greeted you yet as you were ready to accept your fate, a finger laid on your lips..

and before long a kiss was felt on your rosy cheeks..

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twst x yuu #twst riddle #riddle x y/n #riddle x mc #riddle x reader #riddle x yuu #twst leona #leona x yuu #leona x mc #leona x reader #leona x y/n #leona x you #twst azul #azul x mc #azul x you #azul x reader #azul x yuu #azul x y/n

[z3llous]

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Lover

Part 1 (here) / part 2

There were many terrible things to be expected in life, but being stood up on your wedding day and the bastard disappearing with most of your valuables along with your cat wasn’t one of them. Like shit, taking the tv and gold necklace was one thing, but not Sprinkles!

So there they were slouched against the counter of the new local restaurant shortly before closing sipping on a milkshake in their little pity party of one. If their lone figure dressed in what remained of the wedding attire didn’t tell a story in itself, their expression sure did.

Smooth jazz played as a Silver haired man sauntered over to their forlorn form.

“You mind if I ask what’s on your mind?” He asked with a false smile and calculating gaze.

“My ex-lover didn’t show up to our wedding, but that’s not even the worst part! He ran off with most of my stuff and my cat!” They laughed in a deranged tone. Why not tell him, it’s not as though they had much left to lose.

How lucky for such a poor soul to plop so conveniently into his lap.

“Fucking Cassian, did he have to take Sprinkles too?” They groaned as reality came reeling back in.

“Wait, Cassian?” An expression of shock crossed the man’s face.

“Yeah, Cassian. What about that bitch?” They turned in their seat to face him confusedly.

It couldn’t be.

His posture abruptly straightened, he adjusted his glasses, and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but could you tell me his last name?”

“Cassian Marinus? Do you know him?” Their head tilting as they asked.

IT IS HIM

“Know him? We unfortunately went to the same school. So he never bothered to better himself after all these years?” A bitter laugh escaped him. “This changes things.”

“It does?” They leaned a bit closer in interest.

“Oh definitely, you’re not the only one he’s wronged. I have a score to settle with him as well. So what do you say to working together? You get your cat back, I get to ruin his dignity like he did mine, and we both get revenge.” He shifted in his seat to offer his hand.

“My name is _ what’s yours?”

“Azul Ashengrotto.”

“Well then, Azul, I accept.” They shook his hand as the two shared a malicious smile.

“It seems things will be getting interesting around here, Floyd.” A tall teal haired man said wiping off a glass as he watched his boss and new partner in crime shake hands from across the room.

“Seems so Jade!” Another tall teal haired man giggled in his sprawled position hanging upside-down from the sofa beside his twin.

Tag: @azulashengrottospiano

It may be 4 am, but like inspiration be like that some times

#azul x reader #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twst #twst azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #gn reader #azul x gn reader #azul ashengrotto x gn reader #jade leech #floyd leech #octavinelle