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#and I think there’s something profound in that
giddyfatherchris · 2 days
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📱skz texts —how they react/comfort you (when you're going through a rough patch with a friend)
| including. bang chan, lee know
warnings. mentions of homophobia, anxiety and depression (but not going in depth with any of these subjects)
a/n. FINALLY!! channie and lee know’s part babyyyy honestly i kept procrastinating but today i decided enough is enough.😤 again, these are not in order but i cannot be 🎶booOoOoOthereeeddd🎶 so :) hope you enjoy mwah xxx
changbin, seungmin & i.n
hyunjin, han & felix
Lee Know
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He knew from your texts you were not in your normal state. You were usually such a bubbly person, but when you answered so drily to his questions, he knew something was wrong.
As he waited for you to come home, he couldn't help but pace in his apartment. You weren't living together yet, but you spent so much time at his flat that you claimed it as your second home comfortably. In the 15 minutes it took for you to arrive, Lee Know had prepared himself for many scenarios, but he could have never predicted how you opened harshly the door and slammed it shut. Your ritual of crouching on the floor, calling for his three cats, was brutally ignored as you stomped to the kitchen.
"Hi, baby." He tentatively tried. Cautious, he kept his distance as you grunted in answer. You opened the fridge door, looked for a milli second before you closed it, then repeated the same process with the pantry. You made yourself a glass of water, didn't even take a sip, and grumbled as you looked in front of you, not really seeing anything. You abandoned it on the counter, ready to stomp away, when Lee Know put himself in your trajectory.
"What's going on?"
You would have kept walking if he hadn't grabbed you by the shoulders and blocked you from carrying on.
"Uh?" you looked at him as if you were just now seeing him. "Nothing, something at work, it's enraging." 
"Then please tell me so I can know who to kill," he replied in an equally angered tone. His hold on your shoulders tightened slightly at the thought someone had hurt you. 
You looked at him, surprised. "What, kill someone?" 
"Please, Y/n. I've never seen you like this. I don't know what happened, but for it to put you in that state, I'm guessing it's pretty serious." 
He had to pull it out of you, but you finally explained how you discovered one of your coworkers, who you considered a friend, was, in fact, a raging homophobic, queer-hating asshole. When you first heard him comment on someone else wearing a rainbow pin, you had laughed it off, thinking he was being dumb, but he kept adding on, and you realized, horrified, that he was being serious. 
Cherry on top, when you told him you were pansexual, he had stared at you with this idiotic air and asked if you were attracted to kitchen appliances. It ended up with you terminating that 'friendship' and leaving the office completely enraged. 
Your boyfriend listened carefully to your story. His piercing eyes set on you when he finally stated, "I have no idea how you managed not to smack him in the face." 
You let out a dry chuckle, telling the story again only egged you on, and brought up a familiar gloom you hadn't felt in a while. Immediately, he noticed the change in your demeanor, how the burning rage had simmered to a profound sadness. "Hey, it's okay, you can report the bastard, you know. He can't go around saying stuff like that."
You wrapped your arms around your middle, your lower lip softly shaking as you exhaled. "It's been a long time since I've been directly in contact with someone like that. I'm mad at myself for not seeing it maybe others knew, and they considered me badly for hanging out with him. I feel so bad."
He pulled you to him, softly resting his chin on top of your head. "Some people are really good at hiding who they truly are. He never said anything before, you never could have known."
"I know, but I somewhat feel like a traitor to my community," you covered your face with your hands before hiding in his chest. "Is that dumb?"  
He softly pushed you back and leveled his gaze with yours. "That is a little dumb because you did not betray your community, okay? You can't betray someone if you've also been fooled. And you know what's the best thing to do now? Report his ass. I'm sure if you do, there will be others who feel comfortable speaking up."
Your eyes lit up at his suggestion. "You're right. I want queer people to feel safe at work. The thought that I might have been seen as someone who would threaten that makes me sick. But if I speak up, that could change. Maybe we could even create a comity to do sensibilization about homophobia in the workplace." The gloom in your eyes was replaced with a fire. "One thing is sure, I won't let it happen again.
He gave you an adorable grin as he softly grabbed your chin. "My little fighter, I'm proud of you."
Your eyes disappeared into a happy smile as you hugged him again. "Thank you for always supporting me, although I am slightly scared of how little it took to convince you to kill someone." 
He laughed before grabbing you over his shoulder and whispered with a diabolical expression. "You shouldn't." 
Because really, there shouldn't be a doubt in your mind that this man was ready to make anyone who hurt you pay a terrible price. 
Bang Chan
The leader rubbed his hands on his face in an attempt to wipe away all the exhaustion. He looked back at his computer screen, feeling a violent cramp in his head causing his eyes to squeeze shut of their own accords. 
"Okay, okay. I get it. No more computer today."
He grabbed his phone before getting up, pleading his eyes to survive one last exposure to the light of a screen. He clicked on your name and quickly typed in, asking you what you wanted to eat for dinner but all signs of fatigue disappeared once he saw your answer. Worry replaced any feelings in his heart, his tired eyes fixed on the device.
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What could have happened for you to be so down? He knew you were dealing with a difficult friend lately, but could it have gotten this bad so quickly? He wondered if he should push it, ask you more, but as his eyes started burning again he realized it would probably be of no help and he should wait for you to get home. Chan looked around the apartment, an uneasy feeling in his chest, a restlessness agitating his limbs. You were hurting and he couldn’t stay still, waiting for you to arrive. Then it clicked, he looked at your messages once again, closed the app and started dialing a number he was starting to know very well. As the line rang, a smirk slowly took place on his full lips.
You tiredly entered your apartment, welcomed with a delicious aroma. You kicked your boots off, more than ready to change into comfortable clothes and hug your boyfriend. 
Your heart melted at the sight waiting for you in the kitchen. Chan, his sleeve rolled up, showing his strong forearms, was very focused on the pots and pans burbling in front of him. He softly hummed to the soft jazz music playing in the background, completely oblivious to the world around him. You silently walked to him and wrapped your arms around his middle, loving how his strong back felt on your cheek through his clothes. 
"Jesus! You scared me," he whined, still, you could hear the smile in his voice as his hands wrapped around yours. "How are you?"
You didn't answer, feeling tears prickling your eyes and that burning sensation in your nose when you knew you were about to cry. You buried your face in his clothes, hoping it would muffle the sound of your sobs. 
"Y/n?" he quickly turned around, realizing you were far from okay. "Hey, baby what's going on?"
Violent sobs shook your body as you slid to the floor engulfed in Chan’s reassuring embrace, allowing you to let it all go. Once you calmed down enough to take a big breath, he asked again. "Baby, what happened?" 
Softly, he brushed his fingers through your hair. He was a calm and reassuring presence for you in all the chaos. You knew you could trust him, knew you could tell him anything and he would be there for you.
"You know my ´friend’, our relationship was already rocky, I knew that, but I thought it was getting better. When we studied together the other day, we talked so much, about anything and everything and even personal stuff. I thought we were getting over that petty argument, but today I heard them tell other people from my classes how I was faking my anxiety disorder and depression symptoms. They said I only did it to get attention and that I- I was an addict." Your voice broke on the last word, horrified that such words could have come out of their mouth.
Chan had to fight everything in him not to go after them right now. If there was one thing he despised it was when the ones he loved were hurt. He couldn't bear it. He knew how hard it had been for you to get a diagnosis and start taking medication. How could someone be heartless enough to make such comments? 
"I heard some of the people in the group defend me, but still... I can't believe it. I'm so stupid, I never should have told them about it."
"Y/n. You are not stupid. They are the assholes. You are not stupid for trusting someone you thought was a friend okay? I don't ever want you to think you are stupid for that."
You looked at him with teary eyes. He felt himself melt and soften, all anger disappearing when he realized how badly you needed him. "You are not stupid. You are not faking anything." he softly stroked your cheeks, wiping away the tears as he did. "I'm so proud of you for reaching out for help. I'm proud of you every damn day, and you know the people who really love you do too." You closed your eyes, relishing in his warm touch, allowing his soft voice to erase every doubt and fear. He softly kissed your forehead, "Okay?"
"Okay," you whispered. "Thank you I don't know what I would do without you."
"You would still do amazing because you are one of the strongest person I've ever met."
You chuckled at his comment. "You're so cheesy. Still, I'm pretty happy to have you." You lifted your head towards the stove. "Especially if you tell me you've been cooking for me." You took a deep breath in, finally registering what it was you were smelling. You looked back at him, already smiling, a look of surprise on your face. "Is- is that my mom’s… How, how did you do it?"
A proud and satisfied expression was printed on his features. "You wanted your mom’s spaghetti so I called and asked her to help me make it. Turns out the recipe isn’t that hard." He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear while you stared at him like he was the most magnificent thing you had ever seen, which he was.
"I can’t believe you did that. My mother has never told anyone her recipe!"
"Yeah, about that. I might have had to make a deal with her to get it…" You rolled your eyes, ready to hear some embarrassing stunt your mother pulled on your boyfriend. "I had to explain why I wanted the recipe, and she might have made me promise we’d go visit your family in two weeks while you’re on spring break."
You squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck, asking him a thousand time if he was kidding, if this was really happening, while he promised over and over again it was. You pulled back to look at the satisfied smile growing on his lips. Chan was a sure value in your life, maybe the only true one, and as you looked at him, his dimpled smile and the satisfaction he had in preparing all this for you, you knew this was it. He was everything you would ever need.
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thewertsearch · 12 hours
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The most important character in Homestuck fondly regards the miracle of a new beginning.
The most what? Important what?
Curveball after curveball. So far, Gamzee has done nothing noteworthy. He's a silly stoner who likes to drink Faygo and hang out in the background of the comic. The only thing I can think of that might make him important is - and I can't believe I'm saying this - he's one of the most meta-aware characters in the comic.
Is this something more than a joke, after all? Has Gamzee's sopor abuse actually granted him a more profound awareness of reality?
...oh my god. I just realized something genuinely bone-chilling.
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He's looking directly at Homestuck's Fourth Wall.
Let's move on. I need time to digest the fucking implications of this.
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Oh, shit!
Up until now, Becsprite could be counted on to project Jade from perils such as this - but Becsprite's no longer in the building.
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Doc Scratch? Here?
This is exactly what we don’t need right now.
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"The kingdom of heaven is within you."
What a strange and specific choice for Hussie to make, when deciding what should be visible through Homestuck's Fourth Wall.
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too-antigonish · 2 days
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Morse and drinking in the 70s...
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Long....because I can't write short. And obviously, a lot of you will already know this stuff...
Just want to take a moment to talk about alcohol and alcoholism in the context of the early 1970s and remind folks of how totally and completely different it is from how we see it today.
Drunk driving had not been outlawed in most countries. Not only that, it was widely regarding as funny—funny enough to be used as a regular “gag” in movies. Problem drinking was also seen as funny. There were regular cartoon strips about it. The “drunk” was a funny stock character in all sorts of plays and movies.
Alcohol was ubiquitous. We’re not just talking liquid lunches. We’re talking drinking at work, while you work—just as you see in Endeavour. Think about that for a second.
And politely saying no wasn’t something you did without social consequences. It wasn’t just seen as a personal preference. Unless you had a specific, acceptable reason, turning down a drink was often seen as stand-offish and judgmental or as a social snub. Teetotalism was regarded as rather naive and ridiculous—not something any man or woman of the world would embrace.
In the early 1970s, there was no widespread understanding of alcoholism as a disease. It was still seen very much as the consequence of personal weakness—still a matter of “If you cared enough or tried hard enough, you wouldn’t do this so it must be a character flaw.”
Plus, most people, “normal” people don’t have problems with alcohol, so if you do then there’s something abnormal and defective about you—most likely something you brought upon yourself.
And as a “personal weakness” and a “defect,” the shame around it was profound and the secrecy matched. If someone went away for treatment, it was very much akin to an unwed mother going off to have her baby and then returning without the child. You never spoke of it. You pretended that it had never happened.
If you were a kind person, you also didn’t go out of your way to parade babies in front of her or talk constantly about children when she was with you. But refer to it directly? Never. Ask for help? Never. It was always something to be hidden. Everyone did their best to forget that it had ever happened and saw this as the "kindest" thing to do.
When Morse returns from his “cure,” it would simply be assumed that everyone would pretend that nothing unusual has happened. Why he’s  just been off on a tour of the West Country and nothing else! Hope you had a lovely time! That sort of polite fiction was exactly what he would have expected upon his return. Anything more direct—at least in a public setting—would have been shocking to him and everyone else.
Where things break down, however, is in the more personal interactions. His relationship with Thursday is such that they can at least broach the topic of drinking. When they do, my impression is that Thursday is well-aware that Morse not “cured.” However, in the context of the time, saying this would be akin to saying, "You failed," because there was no disease model of alcholism in widespread use. You went to be cured and it worked or it didn't.
However, I'd also add that Thursday is almost to the breaking point with the cumulative strain he is under. He can’t cope with the “burden” of Morse being in a precarious state and he knows it. He feels desperately guilty about that—as well as about other things like Strange and Joan or about life having moved on so much while Morse was gone—and so he just shuts down. 
Shutting down is Thursday’s go-to strategy when he’s overwhelmed. We’ve seen him do it many times before. And part of that for him, is that he pretends that the people around him are ok—even if they are anything but ok. Not surprisingly, he does it the most with the people he has the closest emotional ties with—Win, Joan, Sam, and Morse.
So the only way that Thursday can cope is by having Morse be perfectly fine. Conveniently, his preferred coping strategy fits exactly with his society's expectations about how alcoholism works. If Morse is "cured," you don’t need to worry about sparing him the constant offers of alcohol in the same way that the young unwed mother might hope to be spared babies. You certainly wouldn’t embarrass him (especially after he’s been through the humiliation of rehab) by drawing attention in any way to a possible to the idea that he still has a problem. 
And finally, a last note on time context. The scene in the pub where Morse has that first drink after finding out that Joan is marrying Jim is utterly heartbreaking for so many reasons. One of those reasons, however, is that we know it’s the first drink—and that the first drink leads to the second, and so on and so forth. Then Morse says to Thursday, “They said the, the odd beer, the odd shot, does no harm…"Everything in moderation," they said,”  and we automatically assume he’s lying.
I’m fairly sure that those scenes were meant to be interpreted through our modern viewpoint. However, it’s worth noting that again, the model of alcoholism in the 1970s was nothing like what we have today. The idea that someone with a drinking problem/addictions needs to abstain entirely was not even close to universal at that point. It’s perfectly possible that the advice Morse is quoting is the advice he received!
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amoromniaodium · 1 day
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I hate angst, but Clegan has been making me feel horribly sad. I wanted to see if any of you are interest in an extremely angst fic. I am posting for the first time this is my first full on prompt I hope you guys like it. This is probably horrible but here you go:
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Gale Cleven was born unloved. His father despised him, beat him, and screamed at him. His mother was coldly indifferent to her husband's treatment of their only son. This harsh upbringing forced Gale to adapt to any environment, learning to read people so effectively that he could almost predict their words and reactions. However, sometimes his gift didn't work properly he does not see it coming; his scars and bruises from his father were telltale.
Gale Cleven grew up feeling cold and unloved, so detached that it seemed something within him had broken; he had never felt warmth in his life.
Gale Cleven grew up in profound loneliness, constantly questioning if things would ever improve.
He didn’t have friends because he moved so often. His shyness and disinterest in typical boyhood activities meant that no one approached him.
Gale Cleven was always pretty—not handsome but beautiful—and that beauty frightened him.
That is why, when he entered flying school and met the men who made him feel warmth for the first time, Gale Cleven became Buck Cleven—a person with friends and love.
Buck Cleven was born, but Gale Cleven still lurked in the background, waiting for the warmth to fade and the cold to return.
Gale Cleven loved Bucky Egan deeply and loyally; he was the only one for him. This obsession or loyalty might seem abnormal to the average person, but Gale had grown up cold, alone, and unloved, and when he finally felt warmth, he clung to it.
Bucky Egan was the hottest and brightest being out there, the sun that kept him warm on the coldest days.
However, what Gale felt for Bucky Egan was not reciprocated, and it only took one evening outside the pub for him to realize this.
It was at that moment that Buck Cleven broke in half, and Gale Cleven re-emerged. It was then Buck realized that, like the sun, Bucky had many orbiting him. Gale was just one of many, the farthest from the warmth, not even a planet—a dwarf planet like Pluto, forgotten and cast aside.
When Buck Cleven saw Bucky kiss someone he knew, so deeply and lovingly, he realized he meant nothing.
Isn’t it funny how naive he was to think that someone like Bucky would ever love him or be there for him? Buck had given his whole self, his broken soul, only to be cast aside and destroyed again. Perhaps it was better that it happened now.
Buck Cleven ceased to exist. Why should he be kind and present when he was not valued? He cast aside the name Buck, a name given to him by the man he loved, and decided this was it.
No more touches, no idle chatter, no more loving glances, no more following and waiting to be acknowledged.
He would be Major Gale Cleven, performing his duties well, but he would no longer yearn for John Egan. It was over.
Like his father, John Egan had taken a piece of his soul, destroyed it for laughs, and handed it back.
Gale Cleven realized that there was no such thing as emotion, love, or peace—there was only living.
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unseemingowl · 17 hours
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Saga Anderson, and Nordic rep in Alan Wake 2
Early on in Saga Anderson’s exploration in Alan Wake 2, she runs into Ilmo Koskela. Fiercely proud of his Finnish heritage, Ilmo gregariously makes note of Saga’s Nordic sounding name and the familiar design of her knitted sweater. Perhaps a fellow Finn?
Alas no, Saga’s mom is Swedish she informs him. Immediately Ilmo’s face falls. I’m not sure if it’s actually just the animated character defaulting to his resting face, but either way the timing is too perfect. Cue uproarious laughter from me. People in the Nordics are on friendly terms of course, but we gotta have the tiniest bit of… scornfor each other. All in good fun of course. It’s traditional.
Now, I’m Danish, not Finnish, but still, I feel right at home in the towns of Bright Falls and Watery in Alan Wake 2. All of the little nods to Nordic culture and mindset feel so wonderfully familiar to me. The melancholia, the irreverent sense of humor, the affection for the Finnish and Swedish quirks of the characters. The game feels all the stronger in tone and narrative for Remedy embracing the Finnish roots of the studio.
Which is exactly why it sucks that I almost immediately saw the charm of those narrative decisions weaponised against Saga.
I first watched the scene between Ilmo and Saga on a lets play when I was trying to figure out if I should finally dip my toes into survival horror and buy the game. Delighted by the writing I took a look into the comments to see if people were vibing as hard with it as I was. They were. But I also saw a comment that made me frown.
Paraphrasing, it basically went, come on, like hell a guy like Ilmo would make the assumption that a black woman is Finnish. There are a multitude of reasons why I think that person was wrong, mainly that Nordic people love it when we run into each other in other countries, but it also just made me sad.
Saga being black does not negate her Swedish heritage. Formally, she is American, sure (I assume, not sure how that works in the US), but she’s raised by her single Swedish mom, of course she’s going to identify heavily with that part of her herself. It’s a profound and essential part of who she is.
But hey, I’m a white potato Dane, so I’m not gonna argue that I know much about the experience of being biracial. I’m gonna stick to what I know, which is that Saga is a very moving and beautiful example of something that I’m actually not used to seeing much of - a story about connecting with your Nordic heritage and roots. And it’s part of why I love her so much.
When Nordic people show up in big, international productions, it’s usually as Vikings, and sure, it’s fun to see our wild ancestors, but contemporary questions of Nordic identity and heritage is not something I often see explored. Not even in our own productions.
So much of Saga’s story is about family. Fighting for her current one, Logan and Casey (and sure, David too, lol), and rediscovering her first one. Tor and Odin.
Her discovering her ties to Tor and Odin is profoundly moving and made me teary-eyed several times over. And sure, a lot of those ties are fantastical in nature, but they still feel very much grounded - and what makes us Nordic if not the ties to our myths and legends that Tor and Odin have made themselves the living avatars of.
While Saga’s mom, Freya, had good reasons for leaving the Anderson seer magics behind, seeing them as part of what made her family fucked up, she also cut Saga off from the fullness of her capabilities. It is only through Saga reforming her family, healing its scars and fully embracing the Anderson heritage that she becomes as powerful a parautilitarian as she is at the end of the game. That’s beautiful.
And in fact I think Saga being black only deepens the richness of those themes rather than negate them or make them irrelevant. Because yes, Saga’s story would have been moving if she was a white character too, but I am very well aware that a lot of biracial people of Nordic ancestry can feel alienated from that part of themselves. Not least because questions of who gets to claim a Nordic heritage can get pretty ugly around here. There are most definitely people who share the racist mindset of that commentator. It adds an extra dimension. Which is why seeing Tor and Odin’s eagerness to claim Saga as part of the Anderson heritage is all the more moving. Through her magics, she’s just so obviously an Anderson, and they’re so damn proud to call her theirs and fight alongside her. Because they all got that wild Viking blood in them. They’re part of her and she’s part of them.
Roger Ebert, the film critic once called movies empathy machines. I think games, when they’re at their best, can be an even more intense variation of that. Which is exactly why it baffles me that some people can play through Alan Wake 2 and still think Saga is a stunt-woke character rather than someone fully and beautifully integrated in the narrative. A narrative which, at its most basic level – in my opinion – is about the mystical bonds we form with each other and the rest of the world through art and love and blood and family and heritage. All the great horror doesn’t negate that either, it amplifies it. Kind of like that clicker.
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I know this scene in ep 17 has been talked about before but what I found interesting is that Naomi is talking like she’s getting Cas ready for when he finds the angel tablet and he’ll be forced to kill whoever is with him. She doesn’t specify Dean or Sam yet of course Cas is forced to kill hundreds of Dean clones. This tells me that she assumes Cas will be with Dean whether it’s because he’ll need help and she knows he’s the one Cas will go to because he trusts Dean or Dean wouldn’t let Cas do it by himself and will go with Cas.
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Sam is surprised that Dean prayed to Cas even though he’s calling him an ass. Obviously Sam doesn’t know that Dean has prayed to Cas hundreds of times since he prayed to him every night in purgatory and a bunch of times before and after. It’s only now that Sam realizes that there’s something wrong with Cas yet Dean knew as soon as Cas came back. So Dean knows something is wrong and that’s what’s makeing Cas act weird yet he still trusts Cas to watch over Sam. It’s amazing because Dean isn’t a religious person and he has no faith in god or the other angels. All his hope and faith is in Cas. If Cas dies his hope and faith is gone and he can barely function.
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This scene is amazing. One of the best scenes I’ve seen so far in terms of acting and storyline. Dean tells Cas to get the angel tablet Cas will have to kill him first. That’s usually something someone says if they are planning to fight back yet Dean does nothing but let Cas hit him. It’s beautiful that they won’t fight each other even in a situation like this where Cas is being mind controlled. Then there’s Deans speech. I know you. It’s me. We’re family. We need you (swallow). I need you. The I know you and it’s me is saying the same thing I just said Dean knows Cas wouldn’t intentionally hurt him of all people. Then the we’re family. That’s a big thing for Dean. It means I trust you, I’d die for you and I know you feel the same way. First he said we need you as in him and Sam needs Cas as an angel but then he swallows and gets the courage to say I need you. This is also big. Dean has said this to Cas before but it was different. Before it was a I need you in my life whether you’re an angel or not. This time it was clearly Dean not haveing the courage to say I love you but the next best thing. This time it’s more about their profound bond as Cas said. I know originally Dean was supposed to say I love you but I personally don’t think he’s ready to say that yet. Then Cas goes to fix Dean but Dean doesn’t know if Cas is going to kill him or what he’s going to do yet all Dean does is grab Cas arm.
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The beginning of ep 18. Sam asks Dean if there was anything he wanted to talk about and what had happened with Cas. Dean said like my feelings? Sam said sure if that’s what you want to talk about. Sounds like Sam knows about Deans feelings for Cas and is letting him know that he’s willing to listen. This look was Dean realizing Sam knows but there’s no way he’s talking about it yet.
Lastly I just want to share this. I had a conversation with my friend a few days ago and she watched Supernatural just not the last season (it’s not on netflix or it wasn’t when she was watching it). She also isn’t on tumblr or instagram and hasn’t watched any of the con interviews so she has no idea about what people say about the show. She’s half homophobic. She doesn’t mind gay guys but she doesn’t want to see it. I asked her what she thinks Deans sexuality is. She said bi. I asked if it was because she knows I’m a Destiel fan but she said no it’s pretty obvious considering the scenes. Then I told her about Cas confession speech and how Dean was supposed to say I love you and a bunch of other stuff that was supposed to happen and how the changes didn’t change Destiel at all and she said I knew it.
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artist-issues · 11 hours
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break the cycle. it's been "Why do I feel this way? -> is it ever going to get better? -> Wow, I'm messed up -> I'm insecure about that -> But I'll share my mess with others because the insecurity doesn't control me -> they like it & feel it too -> but if they like it because we're all messed up, then aren't I just secure in my mess? Am I afraid to get cleaned up because then they won't connect with me anymore? -> so then my insecurities do control me -> Why do I feel this way? -> is it ever going to get better? -> Wow, I'm messed up -> I'm insecure about that ->" for as long as I can remember.
Let Him break into the cycle and give you a security in Him, not in your mess. An identity in Him, not in your issues. He's got to take your hand and lead you up, step by step, growing and healing away from that cycle. The cycle shouldn't be who you are. Your support shouldn't be your support just because they have the same mess in common. You shouldn't be worried that by getting a wound healed and moving on, you're giving up your Wounded Support Group.
break the cycle by surrendering to God, who is outside of the cycle and can and does make you a new creation.
what would it be like if you stop looking so much at how you feel, and how you think, and how you are, and start talking about something other than your own psyche? Other than what your psyche has in common with others' psyches? You're so profound when you talk about your thoughts and the people who have the same kinds of thoughts as you. What would it be like if you started looking at something outside of yourself and talking about that?
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honeyliruh · 22 hours
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When I think of Sabr, I think of Yaqub عليه السلام and the qissah of Surah Yusuf. And I think its because I've always resonated with the way Allah سبحانه و تعالى shows us through his prophet that the method of observing patience, may not necessarily look the same for everyone. Yaqub عليه السلام went blind from his tears of grief, Subhan'Allah, and yet he still carried the purest form of Hope in his heart. He trusted His Lord's Plan knowing his complaints were only heard by Him alone, and even still his grief caused him to lose his own sight. As someone who has always worn their heart on their sleeve I remember feeling so heard and understood when I came across these profound verses. For the first time I felt content with the fact that, feeling things deep within my core and ultimately responding to my body's way of releasing grief, sorrow, loss, pain did not in any way translate to anything other than Sabr. I realised the truth in how our Lord's profound words have not just been preserved to be a book with stories of the past, but rather it is the sole cure to our hearts when this world feels like too much of a burden. It is and has always been our only way of navigating through this world and all it's trials and that is quite literally why our Lord Himself reminds us, "verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest". So for those of you who are struggling with something that no one can truly comprehend the depths of, know that you are entitled to your own way of coping that too without the pressure of someone else's definition of Sabr. And know that your Lord is All Aware of all the turmoils your heart has endured, He knows the sincere weight of each tear that falls from your eyes and ultimately it is He, who shall compensate for them just as He returned the coolness of Yaqub عليه السلام eyes.
Most of all, let this be a reminder that your tears have never fallen in vain 🌷
-honeyliruh
وَتَوَلَّىٰ عَنْهُمْ وَقَالَ يَـٰٓأَسَفَىٰ عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ وَٱبْيَضَّتْ عَيْنَاهُ مِنَ ٱلْحُزْنِ فَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ
He turned away from them, lamenting, “Alas, poor Joseph!” And his eyes turned white out of the grief he suppressed. [Surah Yusuf - Verse 84]
قَالَ إِنَّمَآ أَشْكُوا۟ بَثِّى وَحُزْنِىٓ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ وَأَعْلَمُ مِنَ ٱللَّهِ مَا لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
He replied, “I complain of my anguish and sorrow only to Allah, and I know from Allah what you do not know [Surah Yusuf - Verse 86]
فَلَمَّآ أَن جَآءَ ٱلْبَشِيرُ أَلْقَىٰهُ عَلَىٰ وَجْهِهِۦ فَٱرْتَدَّ بَصِيرًا ۖ قَالَ أَلَمْ أَقُل لَّكُمْ إِنِّىٓ أَعْلَمُ مِنَ ٱللَّهِ مَا لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
But when the bearer of the good news arrived, he cast the shirt over Jacob’s face, so he regained his sight. Jacob then said ˹to his children˺, “Did I not tell you that I truly know from Allah what you do not know?” [Surah Yusuf - Verse 96]
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i think the best thing about this show is how , at least up until now which is yakimono, everything is happening because hannibal wants it to happen. not because of will grey and his insight. but because hannibal is leaving behind carefully crafted clues and remains that will allow him to shift the story into the direction he wants it to go. i think there is something so insane about that but also profound in a way??? this man is so intelligent and its horrifying lol
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jam-in-e · 9 months
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Putting everything else (I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE FINALLY SEEING THE ARM) aside, this picture is hilarious.
Like, this is the dude that oozes the smoothest sex vibe you’ll ever experience? This is him at the beach?
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gwynndolin · 3 months
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also a top contender for me
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youngpettyqueen · 8 months
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I think the reason Charles never refers to Hawkeye by his name is because it’s a nickname, because he’ll call BJ, Margaret, and Klinger by their names without issue, and I could write up an entire post about Charles’ approach to names and nicknames and I might come back and do that tomorrow when it’s not so late
For now I just want to make the point that there’s a scenario in my head where Charles tried one (1) time to call Hawkeye Benjamin in casual conversation and the entire conversation ground to a halt because they both got incredibly uncomfortable about it because it sounded so WRONG and they agreed to never talk about it again
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hedgehog-moss · 2 years
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I wanted to climb to the plateau last night to try and catch a glimpse of the July 14th fireworks in the distance, but halfway up I found glowworms in the forest and they were such a pretty shiny green in the dark I decided to sit there and watch their soft glow instead of the fireworks, which I think must have been very flattering for them.
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divinekangaroo · 1 month
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Movies/books which seared me:
hana-bi
melancholia
the aunt (patrick white)
never let me go (ishiguro)
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electricabsolution · 13 days
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im rewatching starstruck odyssey and this narration really stuck out to me…… big comedy season but the themes of isolation vs. connection are sooooo special and beautiful <3
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angelcasendgame · 1 year
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Okay I do love Bobby's but at least for Dean, he considered the bunker HIS home, as opposed to Bobby's home. He had his own space and decorated it the way he wanted, the Dean cave was full of things he adored, the first thing he did when he got there was making a home cooked meal, and spent a lot of the time just nesting and feeling like it was his own space. I'm not saying Bobby's wasn't a wonderful place for him or that he didn't feel safe, but I think just internally he wasn't able to call it a home the way he does the bunker. And I hear all the arguments that the bunker is underground and doesn't have light but it can still be a home if you feel safe and if you feel like it's your own. It doesn't have to be a permanent home but he still felt like it was his home. Anyways I love the bunker as the first home Dean's ever owned <33
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