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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year

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Devour Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Bby Ackles [bby Ackles :)]

[Realizing that the entire movie is contained in the startup and you just. don't realize it yet. but anyway] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

God his kids look just like him

Anne Kilton 👀🤣 [I KNOW! When I tell you this film has SPN vibes… Not a lie]

Dean!

Sir, that’s not- Leave. Run! Your white is showing

THE FUCK IS HE DOING WITH THE GUTS [The fact that you haven't gone hunting before is showing] ☠️☠️☠️ Blechhhh

Now a baby??? BUDDY GTFO. FLEE

Mysterious cabin in the woods

Nekked crying person

SIR

[The end. He ded. Sorry, did you think Jackles was in the whole thing? Oh wait :)]

The voice

[Weirdo monologues are back: Max-coded] Talking in circles

Oh nooo drugs [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 1]

TF [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 2]

[His jacket tho... Dean-coded] RIGHT?! But also… Wtf?! The kid was just gonna shoot them?!

Oooo, bitch

Wot. Is happening. [She was getting the champagne and intentionally being provocative] Oh shit

She favors Kirsten Dunst [Yup, agree]

Yeet. You just gave the lagoon monster a weapon

Ma’am [You mean that’s not how computers work?]

You burn candles on your laptop? Again... Ma’am

“YeH, I pushed a button.” You idjit.

“Watch your fucking language” ☠️☠️☠️ [I hate his boss btw]

Alan Ackles has arrived

Bruh his dad reminds me of your dad 👀☠️ [ASDFASDFADF YOU'RE NOT WRONG] Lemme find out you’re related to the Ackles [I would pass the frick away] I would too! ☠️☠️☠️

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 3]

WOT

BRUH ITS WILD CHARLIE [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 4]

[Buddy, I love you, but please ask why your friend is demanding your personal info and typing on a computer] ☠️☠️☠️

Wait is this uncoolness again [His friends are very uncool throughout the film: you'll see]

Huh. Uh, y’all run. HE CRAZY

[I love his acting in this scene. The turkey line is so well done too aalksdfj]

WHY CANT THIS MAN HAVE GOOD FRIENDS??? EVER???

BRUH [Did I mention friends putting personal information into random computer programs = not good idea?] LIKE… dude!

Ohhh noooo

Bruh… I’m tripppinnn lol this movie is wild [I KNOW RIGHT]

[Get ready for hate-his-boss hours]

BRUH

BRUH. BRUHHHH!!! WHAT AN ASSHOLEEEEEE!!

["You wouldn't have let Conrad sign you on" HE DIDN'T KNOW?!!?!?] RIGHT?!?

Can this dude keep a mom!!?? [I say nothing… I love them tho]

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 5] 😭😭😭😭

Say you want him in your pants/skirt without saying it ma’am

[This mom's better at the love-life-meddling than Mary]

He’s so cute thoooo [I KNOWWWW]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Buddy

[I love Jackles in this whole scene… His smirk/fist pump thing alskdfj *chef's kiss*]

He’s too cute… I can’t even [I KNOWWWWWWWWWW]

Ma’am.

Sir.

Masir.

It’s. Not. Like. This. What is she. DOING. TO HIS HEAD. WHAT. AM I WATCHING WOMAN??? I HAD TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN. ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I did warn you about this scene]

AND SHE JUST WALKS AWAY

[Okay, two things… a) I love Jackles playing the romantic type. And b) the promised friend-uncoolness] *huff sigh*

Bruh why does the voice on the phone sound like him 🤔🤔

Jump scareeee ☠️☠️

Bruh that’s the devilll run [Okay, but. To be fair. His entire life is vaguely concerning rn. Buddy's head ain't even safe]

The smileeee! Isss too cute

Ooooof Wench’s dad, run!

Oh shit [He didn't run] Reverse daydream???

Ah! A k! Ack!!!

Nope. I almost passed out for that one. Bruh.

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 6. And continued friend uncoolness. At least he apologized immediately, unlike SOME people] 🥺🥺

Uh ohhh he in trouble

Or something

Runnnnnn

[Oh, I forgot that intercourse bit, sorry.] Oooooof. They ded. [They did the deed in a horror movie; isn't that, like, a cardinal rule?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Fair. But they didn’t even get to finish

Buddy. DONT WALK INTO A CRIME SCENE. [HE'S CONCERNED FOR HIS FRIEND; CUT HIM SOME SLACK]

OH SHIT THE TONGUE. BLECH

[Dean-coded hug right there.] WITH JODY [And guilt complex. Poor buddy getting blamed by other people again, too] RIGHT!? ["You coulda brought the gun to me" Yeah, you see how me reporting someone else's crime went this time; of course I could have]

Oh no sad music [Buddy's friend just died; I think it's deserved alkdsfj]

Buddyyyy 🥺🥺🥺 Oh noooo

Oh nooooooo [Wot?] The little "son" got me

The way he says “Ok” *dissolves*

[I do like his "play it cool" line. Is so cute alksdjf Help]

Clothes change [Jonathan/Wayne Stranger Things jacket]

Oooop look at that he’s drinking [also Wench's dad-coded]

[Jake's look when daddy grabs his arm is a bit. Concerning.] 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Yep

*sigh* Poor Jake/Tom/Dean

“Marisol” Like aerosol [alskdjf]

[Frecklessss!!! That's the most pronounced I've ever seen them] I KNOWWW

BRUH She got that crazy look in her eye. Don’t go. DONT BRING YOUR FRIEND.

*sigh*

[Did I mention romantic!Jackles is so great compared to the emotionally-repressed character he usually plays? Like, nothing against those roles — I love them, too — but it’s a nice change.] I KNOWWWWW! IMAGINE. JUST FREAKINGGGG IMAGINEEEEE. HIM WOOING CAS LIKE THIS. Poor buddy would combust! [Is trueeee]

Aight… I’m calling it the pathway is them. At least their voices. They are calling themselves.

[Love her ringssss] I knowwww

Blech. Blechhhh! Fingers

POOR BUDDY

Susssssspciousssss

I am Native American; I can confirm they probably do weird shit like that

Buddy only been with this girl 10 mins and she’s already pouring his coffee; I’ve been with my husband 15 years and he pours his own shit ☠️

FREAKING MOVIES KISSING. THOSE FIRST THREE WERE JUST FITTING THEIR MOUTHS TOGETHER

the cat 🤣☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Tf

👀👀👀 I seeee you

Roar

[Get ready for more Dean-coded]

Well damn Jake can’t catch a break-

WHAT THE FUCK BUDDY HE DED

*sigh*

“Give rest o christ… cause you have took half our town already. Please chill out” (I’m going to hell)

[btw, SPN-coded lore-gathering session] Right! [The lights are pretty tho. He be pretty too]

The priest is like this is ABOVE my pay grade

IF HE CUTS HIS TONGUE ONE MORE TIME AACKK

i just kept the tat… ya know… cause- ☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [My dude slandering Metallica]

[The dog's name is Sammy asdlf *Now* who's getting replaced with a dog?!]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[I am waitinggggg for your reaction to the ending of this film btw; seems like is gonna be gold] 🤣🤣🤣🤣 [Edit: I was right. Be warned about the increase in cursing alskdjf]

Well shit. Poor devil guy

Ooooooh the plotttt thickenssss

[Early Jackles films has him brooding and staring at things a lot] 🤣🤣🤣

More sitting, more staring [tbf, buddy pulls off the Heathcliffe aura real well]

Ahh! It came in handy!

Oooooooh! Devil shit!

A GHOST

OH SHIT

why Jake gotta go to hell? He’s so sweet [You'll see] And cute ☠️☠️

[WAIT OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THAT’S AMES WHITE FROM DARK ANGEL] What?!? 👀👀 [You'll understand the significance later… for now, @witchy-writer-lady and I shall keep the secrets]

👀👀👀

👀👀👀👀👀👀

OH WAIT!

OOH SHITTTT!!!

LE GASSSPPP!

[aka: this entire movie is trying to sell us on the fact that this lil ray of sunshine is the spawn of Satan laksfdj]

OH SHIT [Bye bye Ames] WHOOOPSIE

BITCH YOU DED

[btw, um. You thought that twist was something. Wait for the next one.] WAIT. Is tarot girl ANNE?!?! Pls Say- [I say nada] Womannnnnnnn she gave him the smooches! That’s not ok [I DID NOT CONFIRM] Like I know he is foineeee but it’s not ok! If it is the case

Oh shittttt

WHY WOULD YOU GRAB THE BLOODY KNIFEEEE??! BUDDY, WHATCHA DOIN THERE?!?! [Okay but horror movie, weapon = good]

This fucking movieeeeee- [Is not done yet] Is wilddddd

Ooof

Ohhhh shit… That’ll do it. He gonna snap [aslkdjf] And start killing with the pick axe [ALSKDFJ]

[That was. That was a yes on the momma thing.] I CALLED IT. ACK. ACKKKK. ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. KKKKKKKKKKKK. KKKKKKKKKKK. NOOOOOOOOOOO.

VSIDUEBEBSZKIZHSSGV I CANT

I CANT

IMEOT

WOR

How type? I can’t

DEVIL

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENINGGGGG

[Sam-letting-Dean-turn-into-a-vampire-scene-coded. Which is kinda concerning given the. Undertones. of that scene.] BLEHCH

WELL SHIT

SHORT END. EVERYTIME

– – –

Endpoint Reaction:

Wench: I want you to know that I've been cackling at your reaction this whoel time

Jezebel: FUCK COFFEE I NEED LIQUOR ADTET THAT. I STILL CANT TUPE

Wench: asdk

Jezebel: I’m just- Yeah.

Wench: I'm dying of laughter rn

Jezebel: I just…. What. Why. His mother. She was his mother. “I can be anything you need me to be” HOW ABOUT A DECENT FUCKING MOTHER YOU MANIPULATIVE DEVIL BITCH

Wench: One of the few films where Jackles comes out with two parents still alive, and it’s only true because he had four at the beginning and lost two along the way aldskfj

Jezebel: Well, three, ‘cause he killed her too

Wench: Nah, she didn't die

Jezebel: Wtf. But she was dead at the end, wasn’t she?

Wench: The human vessel was. And that's a maybe. We don't know for sure. But she's definitely alive enough to force-feed him blood and shit, so

Jezebel: Oooh. Blech. His MOTHER. Who wroteeee this shit. Bleach. I need bleach for my eyessss

Wench (aside to the audience): She’s never forgiving me.

Jezebel: I just ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Ok I’m good I think

Wench: aklsjdf

Jezebel: It was a pretty good movie. Until the end. That happens a lot in Ackles case.

Wench: Do you see what I mean by, his acting was actually, like, really good? Especially in that context?

Jezebel: Yess! Buddy just couldn’t get a good ending if it was standing right in front of him… Ten Inch Hero next, so I can be equally pissed at the ending but in a happier tone. Maybe tomorrow?

Wench: YEAH. FINALLYYYY. Sandwich shoppe, here we come!

Jezebel: Ending note. SHE WAS HIS FUCKINGMOTHER!?!?

#devour #devour 2005 #jake gray #jensen ackles #this was an adventure #jezebel (pr)#reactions #horror movie reactions #horror #horror movies

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dogsuffrage · 7 months

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It's clear you're just another antisemite and wants to see jewish people die like the rest of the world.

Explain to me how you got that from this. In 3-5 sentences. We are now doing a reading comprehension quiz. Is it because Israel should never have existed? Buddy that's just true. England just decided to cut out a chunk of Palestine for a militant Zionist faction to start their own state because they were going to abandon their colony in Palestine and wanted a government there that would side with them and also because otherwise the Zionists would have likely made good on threats of carrying out terrorist attacks in England. So after slaughtering any opposition, that's exactly what the zionists did. You cannot justify that. Otherwise? My post is so extremely inoffensive I struggle to see the hoops you are jumping through. I have a much more nuanced take about this situation than most tumblr weirdoes making posts about things they know nothing about because I actually do know about this topic. And I think Hamas is fucking evil for targeting civilians. And I think the Israeli government is evil too for what they have done to Palestinians! But I don't blame anyone simply for being born in a country they did not create. But if you are asking if I think Palestinians have a right to attack the Israeli military and police? Fuck yeah I do. They are a cruel occupying force that should be repelled. But I'm not going to defend Hamas, an Islamic fundamentalist group that wants to eradicate Jews. But I will defend more responsible militant organizations like the left-wing Fatah that control the West Bank for sure. So stop your lame ass strawmanning when you know damn well my post has nothing to do with Jews as a whole and, in fact, I have said repeatedly how the Left often has an issue with anti-semitism in how they discuss and address the conflict. But that ain't what's going on here. So fuck off.

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tsuki-sennin · 1 year

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Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Rolling and going! Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah!

Rampagin’ through the streets Everyone does their part No other, better chance Our party’s about to start! Going ape in the club with the hardest beats Clock strikes, it's time to dance... Follow My way!

Feeling your soul blaze, so wild and free! Swift wings strong as a howling breeze! I run out swinging, better watch yourself! Go all out for prizes on the top shelf!

Right now we Go! (Go!) Go! (Go!) Let’s show ‘em all our power range now, Avatar Change! Go! (Go!) Don’t matter when now, don't cry! Your heart’ll still be shining bright! Blast your sorrows far away! No way you can't say, "I am the Only One"!

Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Rolling and going Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah!

That, my dear readers, was an attempt at "localizing" Win Morisaki's "Ore Koso Only One" using the approximate translation of the TV length version of the theme put on the Ranger Wiki as a base. I spent a few days on it, and I understand it's hardly perfect (what with the creative liberties I took), but I felt it's only fitting that I go big for such a force of personality as Don Momotaro.

Episode 50, of Avataro Sentai Donbrothers. Can't believe it's finally ending. Our festival's about to as the clock strikes midnight on this town. I'm obviously gonna miss this series. But like... for how bittersweet this feels, I'm not sad at all. This is the best festival I've ever been to, and we've all made some truly unforgettable memories.

There ain't ever gonna be another series like Donbrothers, but I truly hope that it inspires some absolutely batshit insane stories to be told for years to come.

So, without further ado... Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh my God.

-Haruka was a self-insert for Toshiki Inoue all along!

-Haruka wins all the things. And you know what? She's more than earned it.

-WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS INOUE

-H-Hello, Inoue-sensei!

-He and Sonoza are so proud.

-Everyone's so happy for you :)

-Ohhh, Tarou...

-No opening today, just gotta jump right into it.

-Hatanaka-san...

-Oh no, Tarou's forgetting everything

-"...did you like me putting your life on the line constantly?"

-"...I mean, at first I didn't, but then I did, y'know?"

-Haruka's seen the best and worst of humanity thanks to these weirdos.

-"Man, nobody's gonna try to claim that but you."

-Goodbye?

-Ohhh...

-Shinichi, of course, absolutely doesn't regret it.

-A fun little learning experiment.

-As transient as the clouds.

-Ohhhhh shit.

-"The most beautiful woman in the world... is me!"

-Sonona~! Our final boss.

"GIMME THAT, NERD! You're welcome, scrub lord!"

-There he is! Murakami!

-Sonoya~!

-OH SHE CAN JUST

-STEAL POWERSETS, OKAY

-He can too, okay! That's terrifying!

-Flattened like a beer can.

-Ah, yep. Relationship drama.

-I don't blame her at all, tbh.

-"Shit, this ain't a good time."

-How delightfully anti-climactic.

-A bit of self-reflection would do ya some good, doggie.

-"I'll do it full time. So other people's relationships can flourish where mine didn't."

-Murasame-kun!

-Where ya goin' buddy?

-Momoi Jumpscare.

-Hello, Tsuyoshi.

-"Oh come now, it's okay! I'm a Donbrother, remember?"

-Tarou's so proud of his little losers.

-"Sonoshi-chan."

-W

-Wiggly, what the fuck

-Sonoshi's so fucking terrified, they're about to shit gold.

-MURASAME-KUN NO

-"Our boss!"

-RESET

-WHAT

-Oh okay, Papa Jin's just free now

-There's no need for a Momoi Tarou in the current age.

-"Not my boyfriend!"

-"It's tasty. You should try one, Dad."

-HE EVEN FORGOT HIS DAD AAAAAA

-Good work, Tarou.

-Sonoi on the street corner. What will he do?

-"So like... can you help me remember everything?"

-OHHHH

-That Murakami grin.

-"You seem kinda off, man."

"H-hey, Tarou!

-Oden :)

-"Kitou Haruka. She makes manga."

-Momoi-san...

-"He's a timid little birdie."

-"Good night, Tarou-san."

-Who...

-Sonoi aaa

-Oh no

-The Condor Signal!

-Holy shit, these guys are strong.

-"Well, if it isn't little Sonoi! Where'd your boyfriend go?"

-Ewwwww, don't lick those

-He's goin' on. Leavin' us all behind.

-The executioners.

-"Tarou's left me in charge! It's my chance to do him right!"

-"The author of this manuscript wanted you to read this. ...don't worry, my name is Kaito, I run this cafe."

-Tsuyoshi and Tsubasa! CGI in arms.

-YOOOO MURASAME

-"I hate you. I'm gonna be with my friends!"

-Holy shit, Haruka was thorough.

-His little sister, his boyfriend, his friends, and himself. Don Momotaro.

-God, brutal.

-HERE HE COMES

-Hahahahahahahaha~!

-Laugh, you gotta laugh! The festival is here!

-Up on your feet! It's time to shout it loud, shout it proud!

-Absolute integrity personified! Sonoi!

-A beautiful rose has its thorns... looking to know love, Sononi!

-When something catches my interest, nothing gets in my way! Sonoza!

-The jaws that've snapped awake! Don Murasame!

-Don Dragoku! And Don Torabolt!

-Farewell, transient world! Saru Brother!

-The manga master! Oni Sister!

-The fastest getaway of all time! Inu Brother!

-Faithful pheasant! Kiji Brother!

-Here it comes

-Born from the peach! Don Momotaro!

-Yo! Nippon Ichi!

-Avataro Sentai! Donbrothers!

-TIngly tingly!

-Literally the hypest shit of all time.

-Momotaro Slash!

-He's gone.

-He vanished as he lived. In a fiery explosion brought about by his grandstanding lunacy and obsession with the people he loves.

-Criminal Couple~!

-Oh fuck, Natsumi-san.

-Damn girl, you bounced the hell back!

-Motherfucker broke the fourth wall. to give his scarf away.

-My friends! Getting the Inoue Award! ...I suppose Murasame didn't feel quite like getting up on stage today. It's alright, he's his own man.

-Oh? Who might be at the door?

-Oh thanks Auntie Yuriko.

-The delivery man :)

-We made a bond :)

-The handoff :)

-My heart feels like it's shining today.

-...I suppose whoever Mother and Don Kaito really are is a bit irrelevant, but to be honest I think I've had more than my fill.

-Thank you, old man Inoue. You're an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham.

-Big shoutouts to literally every person on this cast and crew for going far harder than they ever had any right to. The action directors, the editors, the stuntmen and women, the cops,

-And of course, thank you for watching and following along with me.

-It was a weird path, one fraught with weirdos minor and major, insane bullshit left and right, things that just happen, extremely satisfying sound design, fights like you've never seen before, plenty of love and kindness spread about, and lots of screaming. It was all worth it.

-I expect big things from you, KuwagataOhger. A supposed "King of Evil".

#donbrothers spoilers #avataro sentai donbrothers #don! don! it's a full force peachy festival!#super sentai #donbrothers

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ayasearchives · 1 year

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Door to a Hunting Life

"...Can't be that hard can it?"

The petite hands of Usagi Tsukigami wrapped around the hilt of the hammer. Red eyes examined the mechanical-...

Damn, what'd they all call it again? Tetrisdom? Toadysary?

Didn't matter- it was going to be called ‘busted’ after today.

She struggled to lift the mallet to her chest, let alone over her head. She grumbled. She'd pick another weapon if that wasn't the only one she could find next to the groundskeeping felyne.

She glanced behind her, a nagging feeling in her brain told her she was being watched, but no matter where her eyes darted, she was the only human in the area…

She sighed. Had to be the cat or maybe some other critter, or something.

She strained herself as she successfully got the hammer over her head, not hearing the faint "Hey!" over her struggling breathing. It was when she slammed the hammer down on the robo-kapa's leg that she heard it:

"YO! HOLD UP-- DON'T HOLD IT LIKE THAT!"

"Huh?" Was all that came out of her mouth before the hammer bounced back off the machine's knee and launched itself back into her face with a crunch.

She immediately dropped to the ground, gasping, face scrunched up in a feeble attempt to alleviate the pain from her nose and mouth. She felt a leathery hand pat her shoulder. "Hey! You alright?! Ya look like ya took a pretty gnarly hit there…"

"Augh, fug!" Usagi swore indignantly, flinching as calloused fingers cupped her chin upwards to see the damage.

"Geez, that’s lookin’… Aw shurikens, that's a lotta blood– Yo, Flash! Grab some wraps from my pack, will ya?!"

"Muddafugga god me righ' in tha kisser!" She hissed, sniffling before she could taste blood in the back of her throat. "Fug– Gawwwd, muh nose…"

She could hear the faint pitter-patter of small felyne feet, followed by a quick, "Thanks, buddy." She felt a cold cloth pressed firmly up against her nostrils.

"Here, hold that up there– Cool, cool. Can ya sit up against the toadversary so I can get a better look?

She finally cracked her eyes open to find out exactly who was helping her.

She’d seen him before. Some ninja guy she'd spot once in a blue moon, usually perched up on one of the many roofs of Kamura. She could’ve sworn he looked a lot scrawnier though- guy was built like a brick shithouse up close.

It was the messy dark hair and his grey and white scarf in particular that really made her squint. She'd recognized them from somewhere. The man's gold eyes squinted back, hand wrapped around where his mouth should've been, but in its place, a chain cowl wrapped around his lower visage.

"Hey, you're one of Ritsuko's kids, ain't ya? Uhhh... Shurikens, it's on the tip of my tongue." His other hand snapped his fingers as he tried recollecting.

Wait.

That was the one guy that hung out with Ugetsu back when they went hunting with her dad. The two were glued to the hip before her brother ran off to, well-... whatever it is he's doing these days.

"Um…Id's Usagi." She snuffled, pulling the cloth from her face before gawking at the bloody mess.

A final snap of the finger, pointing at her. "Usagi! That's it, yeah! Look, I dunno if ya remember me at all but–"

"Your tha- weirdo tha’ hung ou' wid muh brudder aren'chu?"

"I uhhhh…” The ninja cleared his throat awkwardly, voice gradually dying out to a small grumble, “I guess that’s one way to put it, sheesh…– Here prop ya mouth open real quick–" He hummed, analyzing the damage, "… You’re lucky ya didn't knock any teeth out. Or worse, punch ‘em inward. Seen some hunters do that before, pretty gnarly stuff. Heck, one time I saw this one dude–" He paused, shifting his eyes before clearing his throat again. "Point is, ya can't just go swingin' a hammer up like that, ya always keep it over the shoulder, never directly across your face like that. Otherwise ya get, well–"

"Yeah, yeah, I geddit." The teen grumbled, snorting before spitting up blood. His eyes shifted at the stray weapon before glancing back to her, “Also, there a reason ya using a palico hammer?” Usagi pursed her lips, confused, “A wha-...?” There was an awkward silence, The hunters shoulders began to stifle. The man appeared to at least try, but failed to hold back laughter as his flaxen felyne reclaimed its weapon, “That hammer is for a felyne, not humans, ya doofus!” “Y-yeah, well uh…” Usagi stammered, face turning about a red as a Rathalos. “I- I knew tha’! I just-... I just uh–” She slumped against the toadversary, lips pursed into a pout.

“Sorry, sorry, shouldn’t be laughin’ like that!” The ninja cleared his throat again, “That's just a first for me.” He cocked his head, "This your first time out here? Don't think I've seen ya around these parts before." Usagi curled her lips inward, shifting her eyes to the ground before nodding ever so slightly.

"Tell ya what–" The man clasped his hands together, "Go back to the village and have Zenchi check ya out. If ya feel better tomorrow, come back and I'll give ya some pointers, cool?" He offered his fist. “An’ don’t worry. I’ll make sure to have a proper weapon for ya!”

Usagi blinked. Was this guy just up and offering lessons? Despite her face being properly messed up, behind the bloodied wraps a small smile curled on her lips. She offered her fist in return, baffled by the size difference as knuckles bumped eachother.

"Thang you, uh…” Usagi hummed, “Shid, uh, I don' thing I remember your name…"

Even with a cowl, nothing could hide the smile underneath as the man's eyes practically lit up.

"Just call me Utsushi!"

#monster hunter rise #master utsushi #utsushi #monster hunter #the mun writes a thing #usagi

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wildcatofgreen · 1 year

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@sonorous-strings asked:

►►

Send me ‘►►’ to see what my muse would be like if an important event in their life didn’t happen.

If Sonar never met Carol

. . .

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about Lilac?

The wildcat was sitting in her chair, balancing it on it's hind legs by pushing her foot against the desk. She was kind of just... bored? There wasn't really much to do--try outs for the Battlesphere thing were in a week, but she already knew she was a shoe-in. She's Carol Tea--why wouldn't she be a shoe-in?

So, when her gemerald lit up with a question--something to get her mind off of the nothing that occupied her brain, she lit up herself! Picked up the gem from her desk and spun it.

"She's my best buddy! We've known each other for like, years, decades even!!! I lov--"

Stopped herself, cleared her throat.

"The girl's incredible! Dunno what I'd do without my Lyli.

"Which, uh. Makes this whole ''her findin' her parents an' Merga'' thing kinda hard to sit through. She's been gone for... a while now. I'm kinda worried, y'know? Like, I'm sure she's fine, but... Iunno, I ain't think it'd be this hard 'ta be without her, y'know?"

#''kinda wish i decided to go with her anyway'' #''but lmao i cant NOT stay 'ta keep watch of cory y'know'' #''who tf knows what she'll get up to if i aint here 'ta bully her with my puns!!!''

---

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about Carol?

The dragon had been with Merga for a while now. She felt lucky that she found her so quickly! Who knew she'd be in Parusa? And who knew Parusa would have such a vast recess of water dragon technology!!! It was incredible to look at. This was just what she wanted too. More information about her people, maybe information about her family. Maybe things would get easier from here. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry so much anymore.

The dragon was currently trying to figure out that water dragon language!! It was really tough to get down!!! But she was interrupted by the wrist bracer she had found while searching the place. She didn't know what it did, but Merga had told her to put it on, that she might find out more about it if she just used it. That is, if she could figure out how.

So, when a little message popped up on it's sensors (apparently from some sort of gray face?), she was cautious, curious, but decided to answer either way.

"Carol? She's the best friend anyone could ask for. Used to call her my tail, too! Seriously, the bond we have is unlike anything else!!! We always did everything together, too. From watching the stars to grocery shopping to even sleeping together sometimes! And don't get me started on how much butt we kicked way back when!!!"

Anonymous asked: You two ''slept'' together?

"Not like that. We cuddled a lot when it was cold.

"Or when I...

"Anyway! Carol's like a little ball of warmth. You can't blame me for wanting to cuddle."

#I miss Carol's cuddles a lot... #I miss her more than I realize

---

Anonymous asked: Do you miss Lilac at all?

Getting deep now, weren't we?

"Tell me this--your gir--er, best friend who you've been with for practically all your life suddenly dips an' ya can't do nothin' about it. They're in some weirdo remote place with no access 'ta their phone so ya can't even talk 'ta 'em like ya wanna an' ya got no idea if they're okay or not. Would you miss 'em? Would you be worried about 'em? There is a wrong answer, an' ya will be graded on this."

#''seriously come tf on bro'' #'' 'do i miss lilac' is the sky blue mike foxtrot''

---

Anonyous asked: How do you think Carol's been doing?

"Knowing her? She's probably been getting herself into a TON of trouble with Lady Neera!" She giggled, "That girl couldn't stop stealing if her life depended on it!!!

"Really, she's probably fine. She's safe at the palace and she's got good company. Last I talked to her before my reception died out, I think she was going to try to be the Battlesphere Champion? Stones, I don't envy her.

"Carol HATES reading!!! If those contracts are as big as Lady Neera says they are, she's gonna be in for a rude surprise!!!"

#I wish I could be there to see her face! #I'm laughing just thinking about it!!!!

---

Anonymous asked: How long has it been since you've talked to Lilac?

"Like, Iunno, couple weeks? She stopped answerin' her texts awhile ago. Told her the Battlesphere thing was comin' up an' that was like... about it. Eugh.

"You think you guys can magic up some bravo sierra 'ta get her phone workin' again? Like that's all I could want, really. Please?"

#''do me a solid lemme talk to my girl again i miss her''

---

Anonymous asked: What do you regret the most?

". . .

"I tried to sneak out to find Merga. I didn't have a lot of my supplies at first so it was kind of a stupid move, but I didn't want anyone to know I was gone until it was too late.

"Looking back, I wish I didn't try it. Carol found me as I was leaving, and she looked so sad. She tried to hide it. But I've known her for years. She'd never be able to hide that from me.

"I hurt her. I made her feel awful. I don't know why I did that, I wish I knew. But hearing that nobody found Merga...? That she wanted me to look for her...

"I had to leave. This was my only chance to get any information about myself. or my heritage, or my parents.

"I just..."

#I wish I could forget how she looked that day... #I wish I could do it all again...

---

Anonymous asked: Biggest regret?

"Y'know Iun't hafta answer this. I could jus' leave ya be without your precious answered question, an you'll be sittin' here all cryin' like ''wah, wah, the famous and awesome carol tea aint answer my question, WAH''.

". . .

"Like, besides not killin' Brevon?

"Iunno. There was this one time where--"

Her head flashed the memory of her and Lilac's hug. How long the hug lingered, how warm it felt, how she didn't want to let go.

How, when she saw her face, it made her smile.

How, when she saw her eyes, she started to feel fuzzy.

How, when she saw her lips--

"Y'know what Iun't think we're gonna talk about this anymore.

"I regret not killin' Brevon. There, simple, done, easy. Ya want anythin' else?"

Anonymous asked: Are you gay?

"Half. I'm bi."

---

Anonymous asked: Are you gay?

"What's it to you?"

As if this gray face needed to know that! Sure, maybe she's thought about kissing a girl once... twice... okay, three times max!!! Or more. But that didn't mean these random strangers could know that kind of personal information!!!

#I don't really know /what/ I am right now. #I've never really thought about it before. #Kind of.

---

Anonymous asked: You ever kiss a girl?

"HA!

"I wish.

"I ain't ever meet a girl--nor a guy--who was ever interested enough 'ta wanna. It's kinda lonely, not gonna lie. Ya'know how many couples we saw in the wild when we were doin' that whole Merga adventure???

"Like, three!!!!

"All bein' smushy and lovey-dovey an' all that bravo sierra. UGH. What a pain."

#''dont help that one of them was merga and cordelia'' #''dont help that THEY WERE ALL GAY.'' #''I WANNA KISS SOMEONE STONES DAMN IT'' #''I AM SO JEALOUS. I AM /SO/ JEALOUS. SDI AAAAAAAA''

#carol's cruisings #wandering dragon #au: fates aligned #carol's adventures #part 1 of 7 #god damn it

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chainsaw-dick · 2 years

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As the anon who shared your confusion, I am politely asking you for permission to beat this weirdo into the dirt with their own empty brain. Like this hoe must've replaced all their braincells with fucking airpods and only listens to Cardi B. Buddy. Take the airpods out and use ya fuckin' ears, Orion ain't bashing nt people, just venting about the toxic ones xe knows irl sfsffsfs

ILY FOR USING MY NEOPRONOUNS

#asks #i will not be calling for violence but i will keep this in mind

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not-souleaterpost · 2 months

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Napoleon and the positivity of negativity

So a few months ago, I wrote on how the Napoleon trailers sucked - cause they looked as if they made Napoleon into some generic comic book "epic" villian, like the blue guy from those Avengers movies people cried about to only forget about totally by now.

But then it turned out I was wrong - and people said it was worse - instead of a power fantasy it instead was a farce, basically making Napoleon into the biggest loser that doesnt weigh 300 pounds or more. I heard things like it was Anglo propoganda, that it Napoleon into a cerain word which I am tired of hearing on the net on yt videos with those poorly drawn white faces with various emotions of rage and mouth-openess, that it didn't even show any battles and claimed Napoleon was too dumb to win not by sheer luck, etc.

Oh also "historical inacuracy" - but I never cared bout that, cause I'm too smart- nah actually cause I'm too scatterbrained to remember enough details to be pedantic anyways.

So the question is - knowing all that I must not have watched the movie? Well I didn't, till a buddy wanted to go see it, rejecting my alternative suggestion of the Bob Marley biopic (someday…) And I thought "why not, lets see how shitty it is" And it started, me watching relaxed, with the lowest expectations, glib and cynical as if I was a 45 year old youtuber who can only make fun of other movies while giving up any artistic ambitions cause my intentionally bad movie was a bit too intentionally bad:

But then it started happening: Napoleon scared but determined, jumps on his horse, starts to ride on it only for the horse to get fucking shot with a canonball, Napoleon on the ground, literally shell shocked, his buddys saying "you alright", only for him after a moment of collecting himself, to run back into the battle, the frontlines and execute his cool anime plan.

Then I got what they (maybe) were getting at - the anime loser who becomes brave Napoleon, the Taxi Driver Napoleon, the internet shut-in Shizo Napoleon. Or the fight club Napoleon - cause Josephine at first was basically Marla or whatever her name was, just with less penguin's surfing around (well guess the dogs made up for that, French royals be crazy) But it wasn't then just some weird emasculation fantasy as you often see in the youtube comments on videos of cartoons that are made for kids - it kinda seemed at first, but then it genuinely became a kind of love story, one of two actually "baaaaaaad" people, who's ambitions turned into something real, even if twisted, and pathetic. The whole divorce scene with them crying - ofcourse one could read as "haha see how they are mocking Napoleon!" but what one felt was the genuine emotons and saddnes in them both.

And I could go on, but I ain't some 1million sub youtuber, so I cant just do summarys with vapid commentary - as Napoleon, I have to write something delusional and unhinged instead: So the thing is, if I went in, with no expectations, I probably would have missed all that - I would have been like all the whiners (no shade, I whine enough myself about everything, but its the best way of putting it):

"Oh Napoleon gets emasculated and controled by his wife who fucks the first guy she meets! Oh they are making him look scared and weird all the time cause they wanna make fun of him and people that think he was an interesting figure! Oh they have fake death counts to demonize him more than all the other royals who enslaved and killed people too!"

And I would have missed a movie that was pretty good. Not like a masterpiece, but compare it to that King Arthur movie by ol' Ridley from 2010 or whatever, this one atleast had some substance, had some artistic vision of reframing Napoleon as Raskalnikov while at the same time reconstructing him AS truly being bigger than life - cause you see how he struggles trough his weirdo excentrys, his various, as they call on here these day "neuro-divergencies" - but that he pushes thorugh them and makes himself magnetic - even if that magnetism pulls all them down into the same abyss…

So yeah tl;dr - Actually shitting on something is good cause either it is shit and then its justified, or maybe it makes it better once you got your expectations lowerd and preamptively delt with things which would have been devestating in the moment.

Also, I'm ofcourse being a bit tongue in cheeck, but if you still are angry or asking why I'm writting this instead on working on things I promised:

Yeah…Sorry

#napoleon 2023 #napoleon #ridley scott #also have a theory about Josephine being a stand in for the values of the revolution and how it betrayed Napoelon as he betrayed it later #meaning his ambitions of being some king ruined the potential and legacy making Napoleon be not remembered as the herold of liberty and #independece from greedy monarchs but as some proto hitler fascist #fight club #raskolnikov #irony of history #essay #meta #film review #synthesis #pseudo intelectuall #idk #napoelon dynamite the way that ship exploded #wait was this movie actually about napoleon dynamite if he got overly ambitious damn #also fuck it I agree with ridley scott that I dont care about history nerds what a documentary if you dont get movies not being about that #life #idk had some funny tags but got lost when soemthing went wrong and I could only save the main text #yeah...sorry #back to work #bob marley

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dumbdomb · 2 years

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then why Are YOU even HERE THEN???

#so many of these accounts following without ANY interaction and i know some have their age listed and are probably following for their side #but it's so annoying to see new followers that haven't posted anything since last year and blanks liking but no rbs #this ain't fucken insta or twtter or wherever y'all are coming from like please post about your interests!!!#use tags specifically made for finding content and not just vague words and titles #get in the mud and build up your online community of weirdo internet buddies so you can freak out about blorbos and non-mainstream things!!#this is the social platform for being strange and unusual #people go on twtter and get noticed by their faves they post on insta and their content gets shared on official brand accounts #the only famous people here are either one of us or know what it's like to suit up and walk through our horrible goblin unfiltered thoughts #what's not clicking #domb brain #vent post

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amoristt · 3 years

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Just a Dare | Nathan Prescott x Reader

@trueloveknifefight asked, Also can I request Nathan asking you out?

here u are! i love writing convos w nathan UGH i adore his character.

as always, replies and reblogs are greatly appreciated1 i check all tags and comments <3

wanna support me for just $3? here's my ko-fi!

The lights were bright, vivid. Almost blinding. They dance LED accents into the reflection of your drink- a dull plastic cup filled to the brim with one part whiskey, zero parts mixer. The taste could bring a tear to your eye but you would be damned to water down such fine alcohol, provided by none other than Nathan Prescott himself.

Music reverberated along the pool rooms walls, laughter and hollers distantly rising with the tempos. Your foot absently tapped to the beat- you were never one for dancing. Never one for parties, either, actually, favoring drinking in the solitude of a small friend group.

If not for Nathan you wouldn't be here at all. Some would say it's a privilege to slip past those heavy doors, entering the dully lit world of the Vortex Club. You mostly just felt like it was all for show. Somehow securing a place among Nathan's friend group, and a good friend at that, it was almost duty to show up. He insisted on it.

So, here you were. Leaning against a wall in a suffocatingly warm, cramped pool room surrounded by a sea of faces you hardly recognized.

That was, until you saw Nathan's face peer through the small break in shifting bodies. You knew him all too well.

Strikingly handsome, equally strikingly pompous. Funny, crude, an absent minded party goer just as much as he was a fireball with racing, incoherent thoughts. A drinker, a druggie. Takes the edge off, he says, but you think he does it to take away his thoughts completely. You felt like his entire life was all edges, never sacred ground.

The poor bastard.

He lures your attention in as he saunters over with squared shoulders, narrowly avoiding spilling his drink when a random student cuts it a little too close. Normally Nathan would make a bigger deal, give him what for, but this time he just shoots the poor kid a menacing glare and grumbles, 'fucking watch it'. He's walking with purpose and intent, you can see it on his face. You must have a target on your forehead as he darts straight over.

When he comes to your side, his own alcohol dripping down the sides of his cup onto his wiry fingers, you raise a brow.

"Something wrong?" You ask, as he takes a spot leaning against the hard wall right next to you.

"Just wondering why you're being so fucking lame over here," He shouts over the music, taking a sip of his drink, grimacing at the taste. "We're all having a good time over at the lounge and you're over here acting like all the other wallflower nobodies."

You roll your eyes with upturning lips. "Maybe I like being a wallflower. I like people watching. I see things no one else does."

"Yeah, okay, fucking weirdo."

"I mean it," You push off the wall and grin. "Look-" You point to a student obviously wasted, drink held high over head while he lets the music take him away. "That guy is clearly trashed- he's having the time of his life. He's gotta be seeing double."

Nathan whistles at his state, taking in the guys goofy smile, half lidded eyes. "I'll bet it's the triplets. I could breathe on him too hard and he'd fall over."

"You should go try it." You tease. He shakes his head and takes another drink.

"Nah, he'll get it himself. Guarantee we'll be dragging him out by his feet by the end of the night." He shrugs. "Or, at least someone will. I sure as fuck ain't staying that long."

You snicker. "What, got a hot date?" Nathan glares at you. "Oh don't tell me," you cup your hands to whisper, a secretive gesture, "homework?"

"Fuck no," He scoffs, and you can just barely see that he's a little more than tipsy now. His pale cheeks dusted with red, the tip of his nose ruby under the harsh lighting. It's also then that you realize he's a little more tense than usual, even despite the drinking. He's standing straight upright, his right hand gripping his cup like a crutch and his left now shoved hastily into his pocket.

He hasn't looked at you dead in the eyes yet.

"So what is it then?" You ask curiously. He shrugs and stares into his cup. You frown. "Bro, are you like, good right now? Do you wanna leave?"

For the first time since he'd wandered over, Nathan looks up at you. His eyes are unreadable, but his composure seems stressed. He shrugs again. Before you can even open your mouth to ask him about his state, he sighs and downs an entire mouthful of burning whiskey. It makes you cringe just watching him.

"Fuck it," He huffs. "Look I got some stupid ass dare to come over here and put the moves on you, okay." He sounds almost annoyed, like it's a hassle for him, or maybe embarrassing. You cross your arms. "I was dared to come over here and try to get you like, to fucking, you know, leave with me, but now that I'm over here I'm starting to think maybe that was a dumbass idea."

"Leave with you?" You say incredulously, a brow already lifting. "You were dared to come over here and try to sleep with me? By our friends?"

"No, no, fuck," Nathan seems agitated now, rushing. "Like a date sorta bullshit. Ask you out." He manages to get it out in almost the worst delivery possible, meanwhile you're just trying to pick out who would put him up to this. Hayden? Victoria?

A laugh forces its way out of you. "Aren't we a little too old for that game?"

Nathan shrugs. "That's what I said but they insisted. Fucking babies. At least make the dare a little more fun than just asking some bitch out. That's like elementary level shit."

Your eyes widen, you scoff. "Excuse me?"

Nathan sputters. "You're not some bitch, I didn't mean to-... Fucks sake, I'm clearly a little drunk right now okay, if you could cut me some fucking slack that'd be awesome."

"Hey man I didn't ask to be a victim of bullying," You tease, and he can't help but laugh. You soften. "Never expected it from you, though of all people. As ironic as that sounds."

"I'm not even bullying you, come on. Don't be a bitch. I even admitted it and everything."

You grin. "Yeah. Gotta say though, I'm a little disappointed."

"Oh what, you wanted to see my moves?" Nathan hums. "You wanted some Prescott action?"

"Shut the hell up." You shove his shoulder, an action that would be a mistake to so many others, but for you, it was welcomed. "I'm disappointed that it was just a dare. I'd probably have said yes if it wasn't. But, oh well."

Nathan doesn't answer for a long moment. First, he stares into his drink, processing. Almost like he hadn't heard that right, or like you were messing with him. It's rare to see Nathan Prescott stunned into a momentary silence. He's thinking, wondering what he should say next. Suspicious that you're just playing with him, hopeful that maybe you aren't.

And, you hadn't been. Truth be told if given the chance you would allow him to take you out for the evening. Show you fancy things, try out something a little more intimate than just laughter and poking fun at classmates together. You enjoyed his presence, looked forward to it at times.

A small part of you had hoped that he felt the same, maybe. Somehow. While grateful that he respected you enough to cut the crap before it even began, you couldn't help but feel a little... Disheartened at the prank. You'd saved your pride by denying him beforehand, but, if it had been genuine...

"So if it wasn't a dare," He began, quietly, barely audible over the booming music overhead. Eyes barely visible in the sea of vibrant lights crashing like waves. "You'd have said yes."

You shrug, trying to play it casual to save your own feelings, just in case. "Probably. I mean, we're already friends. We have fun so it couldn't have been that bad." He nods along to almost every word.

"Well what if we did it anyways." He blurts.

"Did what?"

"Go out tonight. Like, you know ditch this lame ass party and have some real fun."

"You love this lame ass party, and plus," You shake your head in feigned annoyance. "I'm not sleeping with you, Nathan."

He glares at you. "Fucking duh. I'm just saying we can go and hang out somewhere else. This party happens all the fucking time so it's not like we're missing anything."

"But, wouldn't that make me the butt of our friends joke?"

He shrugs. "Fuck em. It was a dumb dare anyways."

"Now it seems like you're trying extra hard to convince me to say yes." You state, and he's frazzled, running lines through his brain to try and save the absolute failure of asking you out. You decide to spare him, take a little leap of faith for yourself. "But, alright. I'm in."

Nathan gapes at you. "You're in?"

"Yeah, why not. I'm not busy right now and if you're not either than," You smile. "Why not. You better wow me though, Prescott. I'm talking a night to remember. Fireworks, dinner by candle light, a serenade. The whole package."

Nathan's eyes light up, but he tries to hide it, rolls those beautiful blues. "Well considering I've had like no fucking time to prepare how about we instead go to the roof and chill out."

You toss the idea around in your head for show. You already knew the answer the moment he asked if you were being serious.

"I mean I guess that would work," You say. "I was looking for fireworks but I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to go tell our buddies their joke may have backfired on them."

Nathan shakes his head. "Nah, don't even bother. They're all drunk and probably don't even remember daring me in the first place."

"Alright then," You push yourself off the wall, feeling your cheeks warm. A flutter takes wing in the base of your chest, your heart picking up just a little faster. You can't stop the smile that graces you as you say, "Lead the way, Prescott."

Nathan does lead the way. He takes your hand into his own, your fingers tracing over his boney knuckles as he drags you through the sea of bodies, out to the school hall and up winding stairs.

You giggle like a child when he struggles to find the correct key on the janitors ring he'd snatched weeks ago just in case, tease him when he almost spills his drink all over himself. Nathan's hands are almost shaking, but you chalk it up to the alcohol. You chalk everything up to the alcohol- his trembling fingers, his red face, a shy, albeit goofy smile resting upon his lovely, angular face.

The night was cool and crisp, a stark contrast to the smoldering heat of the Vortex Party.

He looks amazing out under the stars, and underneath the scope of the vast, black sky dotted with trillions of perfect, twinkling lights, you feel at peace.

Looking at him, you feel like this may be the start of something you'd denied yourself the chance of ever even imagining.

Out there, alone but together, hearing the echoes of music mixed with the livelihood of crickets in the darkness...

it truly was a night to remember.

-----------

Days later, you sit atop your desk, feet tapping rhythmically on your chair, typing away at your phone.

"Love the top," A familiar voice pipes, and you glace up to find Victoria standing before you, books pressed to her chest. She takes in your shirt, a nicely fitted long sleeve with a rather low cut v-neck. "Why haven't I see that one before?"

You shrug and set your phone down. "Never got around to wearing it I guess. Not a big fan of V-necks."

"It fits you," She sets her books down at the table beside you and brushes a hand through her hair, making sure every strand is in line. "I'll have to get one myself."

"You know what, you can have it after today," You say, and she perks up in disbelief. "As a thank you for what happened at the party."

That disbelief soon turned to confusion. "...Meaning?"

"Y'know, making Nathan ask me out. He made a whole huge deal about it- said you guys were drinking and playing Truth or Dare of all things. Gotta say, I was a little surprised."

Victoria's brows knit. "We hardly drank at that party, and I wouldn't be caught dead playing Truth or Dare. That game is for kids."

It almost knocks the wind out of you.

They hadn't even been playing in the first place.

As the teacher walks into the room, the first period bell blaring annoyingly over the speakers, you climb off your desk and prepare for the day, hardly able to contain yourself. It hadn't been a dare, after all.

And, you and Nathan's official second date was merely a day away.

#nathan prescott #life is strange #imagine #lis

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

Text

This is gonna be a flashback chapter. How our babies met because I remember a few people had forgotten. Had to have one of these eventually, right?

Part 21: Introduction

Should I download Tinder?

Glee plays from the firestick, the scene where they're all walking and singing How Will I Know.

I should.

Laying cozied into the couch in a faded t'shirt with the tiniest pink shorts, your head rests on the butt cushion and your feet dangle over the arm as you hold your phone up in the air over your face.

"How will I know?.. How will I knoow..," you mumble along with the crew. You've heard the Glee version of this Whitney classic at least 8 times.

No, but what if I do and someone recognizes me? Someone I work with? What if my family is on Tinder? I'd die.

You put the phone down on your belly and pick up your apple juice from the coffee table, doing a sit up to sip.

Mm. You wipe your mouth nearly spilling. But if they're on there too then they shouldn't comment on what I'm doing, right? We'd ignore each other's presence and continue like ships passing in the night. So technically I should be able to download this app with no blowback.

Picking the phone up, you hit download and open the app. It immediately asks for your information and won't let you skip. Not even your location. You fall back down to your back raising the phone up again.

But what if someone's a serial killer?Would they look for me? No, that won't happen and I could tell if they were psychotic..

Tapping the download button, you go through the steps to set up an account including giving them access to your location and posting a headshot from a selfie. Scrolling through your gallery for more decent pics to post, you decide one's enough and upload a full body photo so that whoever meets you will know who they're meeting, no surprises.

Inputting your information, you decide to write into your blurb that you're looking for some awesome friends, specifically a movie buddy. In reality, the activity doesn't matter you just crave human attention and closeness. Any decent, polite, nice, smart, funny, left wing, hopefully attractive, young, black human.. possibly male.. will do. Not that you're picky. In the meantime, you swipe right on everyone black nearby, men and women. Somebody's gotta respond. Someone sane who wants to meet. Shockingly there are a lot of pretty people. Unfortunately the app only gives you one super like.. a blue star which you decide to save.

Giddily you head over to your match tab and see four matches. Drew P seems nice. Ashley J looks stylish. G Papa looks like he lives in a Freaknik video. Pussy Hunter is just nasty. Your nose twitches as you shamefully start conversations with all four. When neither responds right away you return to swiping and a notification says you've been super liked, but you can't access who super liked without paying money. You're not doing that so you just go back to the bios and swipe right until you get a reply.

Wyd, Pussy Hunter writes.

Bored, watching movies. You?

You gotta fat ass

Um. Thanks?

Netflix and chill?🙈

Netflix and Netflix. We can talk and hang out..

So no chill

No sex, but we can hang out and do something else

After 5 minutes, you realize he's not going to write you back. You start to swipe again on pictures, left for the whites and weirdos. Right for the black people.

Your finger hovers in the air as you gasp lightly at the thirst trap provided by a man self-identified as Erik. It deserves another sip of apple juice. You gulp it down from your cup. "Jesus.." You can't even see his face, because it's all BODY, but you can tell by the picture exactly what he's on Tinder for. Same m.o. as Pussy Hunter.

Erik S, 28

Fucc around and find out

Good Lord.. those shorts are yet holding on, you stare as if they'll slip down further by you willing them to. You swipe right. Your eyes widen as the app alerts you with a blue star meaning... He super liked your profile.

"NO," you gasp wide eyed at the phone ready to chuck it at the wall. Switching to the messages, there's a new one.. from him.. and you know what it's about. "I need some tea."

---

Erik lazed around his house bumping Schoolboy Q, clad in a white terry cloth bathrobe with a short glass of iced Ciroc and Lemonade in his hand. Dancing, he exfoliated his face with his spin brush, trimmed his mustache and beard, shaped himself up, and moisturized his locs and facial hair. The lil lip scrub he'd gotten as a gift from Cierra, he'd initially fought her on because it smelled like peaches but he liked how soft it made his lips. They even tasted good. He licked his lips for the umpteenth time tasting sugar. They tasted like Cierra.

Speaking of sugar, he looked at his phone wondering why his hoes ain't called. Then again, they could've. He wasn't near the phone all day. Checking the iPhone on the charging dock he saw that he had a missed call.. from Cierra.

Checking the time she called, he figured that was back when he was cleaning his guns and checking the parts. He'd already cleaned and sharpened his knives. He'd checked his security cameras. He felt good. Having no major responsibility and no place to be.

Outside of the missed call he had three new nudes and a video sitting in his messages to watch and record himself masturbating to. He was looking forward to doing that especially since Rell hadn't called with no bullshit local cases. Erik had stated he ain't want no hits near his temporary home.. for a year, he wanted peace. One damn year. But here he was still racking basic skills for pennies. "Chump change is still change," Rell's voice played in his ear. "You don't wanna get rusty. Gotta keep your skills sharp."

Erik had done his share of moving around, racking up international kills and earning the nickname Killmonger. But for a little while, he wanted to settle down in one concealed location where no one knew where he lived, who the fuck he was, or where he was coming or going. He wanted the illusion of peace and normality for a year at least. As much money as he had, he figured he could afford to stay in one place for that long if he was careful.

Only two people knew where he lived and that was Rell and Swift. They knew not to come over. Not even the previous owners of the house knew he was there.. because he'd made them an anonymous offer, killed them and moved in a few days after they'd sold it to him for cash. Needless to say he took all that money back.

He dialed Cierra, roaming to his bedroom to collapse over the bed as the phone rung. "Sup Ci?"

"Master," she whimpered, the desperation in her voice telling him she needed release. She'd been working too long through the past week and needed Master to come take control for a few hours. He could picture her on her knees, already in puppy space. She knew exactly how he liked her to wait for him.

"Yes, Ci. You need me to come for a scene?"

"Rrrrr," she growled. "Arf arf!"

"My bad. Lil Bitch."

"I gotta go to Target and see my sister," but come through later. I don't care how late just call up."

"Your sister? The one you met on Facebook?"

"Yeah, her! She live like an hour away. I'm a link with her and put her on Tinder! Get her a man to pop that back out," she giggles.

"You know I don't mind a two for one," Erik teased knowing she wouldn't go for it. He liked to mess with her anyway.

"Not with my damn sister, I'm not that nasty. A white girl can have it,"

"Damn crush my dream."

"Anyway!"

"Aight, I'm a let you go." Hanging up, he sat up and went to his closet pulling a colorful glass bong he'd gotten from a nigga he once knew in the military. Bruce Everett, white boy. Cool nigga... Too bad he shot hisself with his own gun. Sighing, Erik shook his head and went to the bathroom to fill it with water and headed back to pull his chrome grinder from his drawer along with a screen, hempwick, and a nug of Dr. Greenthumb's Emdog OG, grinding it down to pack the bowl making it fluff up.

"Perfect," he whispered lighting the bong with the hempwick. He lit the edges of the weed going around in a circle for an even and smooth burn as he stood taking a good long hit. "Shit," he exhaled releasing the smoke. I love bongs.

He looked and the bowl was empty as he'd expected. One hit's all you need when you do it right.

"Tinder...," he played in his mind. He already had a fetlife which was how he'd found his subs. Tinder was something different though. He was curious.

Downloading the app on the phone used almost solely for contact with subs, he went through the process of setting up an account, hesitating to put his info. It was general enough and the shit that was too specific, he could just lie. Still, he wouldn't upload his face.

So all I gotta do is swipe and see everyone in the area, he mused looking at all the faces.

"No.. No.. Nope.. Facially challenged.. The fuck is that?.. Hell nah.. Yes.. Yes.. She cute.. Hell nah.. Yes... No..," he paused looking a little closer at the screen. "Hello... Damn."

Out of curiosity he clicked on the profile. "That ass tho!"

He smirked hitting his super like.

"Shid... You can get the blue like.. Whatever the fuck that mean.." He stared at the picture. She had a juicy looking aro with thick black curls, brown skin, bright almond eyes, and enough ass to feed the needy for months. "Shit, if I was on a deserted island with coconuts and that ass.. that's enough meat for a damn.. shidd.." He chuckled. "Fuck is a super like? I super like yo ass meat..," he chuckled again falling back on his bed. "It mean I'm a break yo shit in thirds and fuck the pieces," he coughed, over his own bullshit.

---

Jumping up, you speedwalk into your kitchen and quickly heat some water in a pot, pulling a red mug and a bag of chamomile and a bag of lemon balm to mix with sugar. Combining it all, you take a sip and stand there staring at the wall before taking it with you back to the couch. "Okay," you sigh picking up the phone to open the Tinder message thread.

Cum talk to me, he says. You stare at the words. Wow, this is so cringy you don't know how to respond. You sit the phone back down taking another sip. You think about ignoring him, but you keep touching the phone, coming back to the message and staring.

Hey, you finally type hesitating at the simplicity before sending.

How are you tonight ? Why you up ?

Bored, lonely, contemplating my existence over Glee and wondering why my high school years were never that damn musical. You sip your tea.

Having a tv party with just lil ol' me. Why are you up?

The fuck kinda life you living. You need me to cum spice shit up for you? 👀

You think you that spicy? 👀

You wanna taste me and see?

Jeez. You flip back to the faceless picture of his body. Lord have mercy.

Don't play with a real one I'll show the fuck up real shit, he writes.

Internally you're screaming. He really thinks you're about to have sex with him. "I can't, oh my god," you sigh bouncing your knee. You hesitate before responding.

You can come, but bring food.

Hell yeah. Then you can be dessert. 😈

What? You turn the screen off and grab your head, your elbows on your knees.

What am I doing. Y/N what are you doing.

No sex nigga, you type before taking it back and staring at the screen perplexed. If you say that, he won't message you back.. If you don't say it, he'll be expecting to get some! You still want him to come through though even if he leaves because you're bored. You just want a little company for a little bit.

Maybe you should get a cat..

Your leg shakes unsure of how to respond and you take another sip of the hot tea mix feeling anything but calm.

Without further delay you just drop your address and hope for the best, wondering if you just signed off on your own murder. Maybe I should've told him to meet me somewhere else in the daytime.

Washing your apple juice cup, you put it away and then throw on some black leggings and rainbow fuzzy socks not wanting to open the door in pink bootyshorts adding onto the wrong message you'd already sent him. You also put a kitchen knife under the sofa cushion for easy access just in case.

40 minutes. You like wings?

Parmesan

🤢 Love yourself, sis. I'm getting a mix.

Oh I see you Mr. Petty Labelle, you smile getting a taste of his personality.

Yep. Finna get some of Ms. Petty's pie

Uh uh, you smirk.

We nuh ave dat

That right? Guess I'll see for myself when I pull up 👅

He's a whole fool. You set the phone down smiling at the tv. Meanwhile you watch another episode.. actually watching it this time.

Knock knock, he messages and you see it having kept the thread up just in case he had an issue. Jumping up, you snatch your phone and take a deep breath to steady your nerves. This is the first time you've ever done something like this and you hope it doesn't go badly.

Who's there, you jest messaging back right before you unlock your multiple locks and crack the door. Peeping out, you shut the door automatically throwing your body against it, holding your breath. He's huge! You didn't even look up, you just saw all that muscle like Kangaroo Jack. And why was he all up on the door?!

"Word? You must not want these wings then," he says through the door. You hear plastic rattling dramatically. "That's aight I don't mind eating em by myself."

You crack the door again, peeping out. You hadn't even seen the plastic bag hanging from his hand, you'd shut him out so fast. You reach out to grab it and he pulls it back.

"Aht! This how you treat guests? Door in the face? Snatching bags?" Your eyes roam from his hard chest to the broadness of his shoulder, resting on the sleeve of his charcoal grey Chicago Bulls shirt. Those biceps.

"Look at you undressing me in your mind already. Go ahead, you can touch me," he adds holding his arm forward as if reading your mind. He talks a lot.

You snatch the bag and put it behind your back a bit, opening the door. Then you look up and your kitty jumps. It's the devil himself. You try to control your surprise but between his sharp narrow chestnut eyes that smirk down, his sculpted nose, and his full pouting lips, you don't know if you want to kiss him, bite him, or climb him. You wanna do all three and more right in the hall.. up against the wall. His hair too, it's a mess of semi-thick locks that point everywhere like Coolio. It's his everything really..

"Y/N.."

Omg. It sounds so good coming from him. This isn't fair.

"Aye..," he waves.

"Hm," you sigh staring at his face.

"You gone let me in?"

"Huh? Oh." You step back quickly and scan him from head to toe as he steps across the threshold. Bulls shirt, black track pants, black sneakers. His shoes are ugly though, the back heel juts out too far. Balenciaga is written in white. Oh.

You look up and see he's looking you up and down too. Oop. Leading the way you take him to the living room and he settles on the couch, his develish eyes on yours. His knees spread wide as he leans back, hips forward.

Silently screaming, you look away and sit the plastic food bag on the table.

You can feel him staring. The air is full of raunchy expectation and you can't say you blame him. You practically encouraged it on the phone.

"You want something to drink," you smile in friendly attempt, risking a glance and it's just as you thought.

"You know exactly what I want."

"To DRINK," you exphasize, ignoring the thump of your heart in your nana as his eyes roll over your hips.

"Mmm... You got Henny?"

"I have apple juice, tea, water.."

"Ciroc?"

Your face screws, Didnt I just-- "I don't drink.."

"Ever?"

You shake your head.

"Damn, Apple Juice."

Taking your sweet time to pour his juice and refill your tea, you re-enter the living room as the Glee cast kicks off another song that he mutes.

"Here ya go."

You give him his cup and feel the chill in your spine as his fingertips brush yours. Unmuting the tv, you sit on the opposite side of the couch, legs crossed, tense and unsure of what to say to him now that he's there.

"You look uncomfortable."

"Me? I'm fine. I was just marathoning Glee before you came," you say handing him the remote, "I've already seen it though."

He hands the remote back. "You seen Menace II Society?"

"I've heard the title!"

"Well pull it up, let's watch it."

Thank God. That's something easy. You fumble through buttons and he starts opening the food as you set up the movie.

---

"Ooh Laurenz Tate he so fine," she smiled sitting up as the movie started. She would be into his ass. Erik rolled his eyes. Wait for it.

"I hate when they do that," she mumbled in response to the Asian woman following them around the store.

"Yeah," he agreed with swig of the juice looking from the tv to her face, watching her reaction. Wait for it.

"Why don't you give my homeboy his change," O-Dog says before walking to the door. "I feel sorry for your mother," the store owner snubs.

Bitch, don't talk about my mama. That part always pissed Erik off.

"What you say about my mama? You feel sorry for who?!" O-Dog shouts. "I don't want any trouble, just get out," the shopowner shouts, backtracking like the bitch nigga he is.

Fuck that, shoot his bitchass, Erik barked in his head. POP. POP POP. POP. POP. There you go! He shot the wife too, meanwhile, the princess jumped in her seat, absorbed in the felony she just observed on screen. Double-homicide.

"He shouldn't have shot them.. Bruh, now the cops gone be looking for him and his friend wasn't even in it but now he's an accomplice."

"You telling me you wouldn't have shot a nigga talkin shit on your mama?" Erik leaned into her space, curious, but she ain't seem to notice.

"No, 'cause they're rude, ugly, and racist but still. You can't kill without consequences."

Erik steeled. She wasn't wrong.

"I'd have shot his ass too," he admitted watching her. She didn't seem to agree. "Should've kept his mouth off his family."

"You close to your family," she asked suddenly.

"Yeah," he lied knowing his people were dead. "...You mind if I get more juice," he pointed to his cup and she took it refilling it.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, she noticed her wing choice wasn't in the selection and Erik kept a poker face having wondered when she'd realize. He'd already started on the barbecue.

"Where's my parmesan," she frowned looking in the boxes.

"They ain't have it," he lied. "Ran out."

"You're such a liar. Now what am I gonna eat," she pouted to his humor.

"Eat the carribean jerk," he nudged the box to her. She eyed it and he felt like a wolf trapping a rabbit, the wings being the bait.

"I ask you for one thing."

"Yeah and? I wasn't finna buy that shit," he chuckled grabbing a jerk wing and biting it, closing his eyes and humming as he chewed to entice her. When he peeked, she was watching his mouth out the corner of her eye as he licked spicy sauce off his thumb. Sliding down in the cushion, she crossed her arms and raised a knee with her fuzzy foot on the couch. Such a damn brat. Ol' hungry ass.

He started to flex the length of his tongue since she was looking but decided against it. He couldn't be too aggressive or she'd spook and he wouldn't get no ass. Why he cared, he couldn't put a finger on other than the fact that she'd become a challenge. This girl would not let him anywhere near her. She was very shy considering she was down for a one night stand. I'm getting the draws, he promised himself right then. How? He just had to make her come to him.

Her nose wrinkled as she picked up a jerk wing, rotating it.

"Girl eat the wing, this ain't rocket science," he fussed watching her bite it.

"It's better than parmesan?" Lie, he dared watching her closely.

She took another bite.. then she attacked the wing and when she licked her fingers, he looked away grabbing another wing and swig of his juice.

"OKAY. SHUT UP." She grabbed another wing chewing through it as he coughed in his elbow hiding his laugh.

"I didn't say anything," he croaked shrugging her off.

"But you smiling and I can hear you thinking."

He couldn't hide the fat grin plastered on his face though he'd tried by looking away. "How you hear me thinking," he squinted watching her collect bones.

"Because I do, you're loud," she stressed.

"How I'm l-"

"SHH!! I'm tryna hear," she whispered. He shook his head watching the corner of her mouth lift and they watched the movie in silence until she reached for another wing and all the jerk were gone. He pushed her another box.

"You all the way over there. Come sit next to me."

"I'm not that far."

"You are. I promise I won't bite you.."

Her eyes rolled.

"Not unless you into that shit," he added patting the cushion beside him. She lifted, barely moving. "You scared?"

"What you mean?" She looked nervous all of a sudden looking anxiously in his eyes. This was gonna be a tough wall to break.

He patted the cushion again, waiting, and she finally moved in closer filling the empty seat beside him. He determined right then not to touch her but to get as close as possible maintaining proximity to get her used to his presence. Draping an arm over the couch behind her, he observed silently as she sat tense for the the next five minutes before relaxing. He had his work cutout.

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