die for you [dazai x fem!reader]
summary: you and dazai sort out your little dispute.
w/c: 1.4k
warnings: mention of suicide, swearing, arguing, angst
a/n: posting from the deep dark depths of hell (aka class). i literally have no idea what possessed me to write this - i was given orders in the dead of night.....
Sighing loudly, you glance at Dazai from your desk, your head resting on your folded arms.
“If you want something, you gotta use your words,” he says without looking up from his paperwork. You scowl at him, suspicious of why he’s so focused on something he despises.
Turning your head toward Atsushi’s desk, where the teenager is deep in concentration, his forehead creased and eyes squinting at his laptop screen, you call his name.
“‘Sushi,” you whisper, summoning him over.
Desperate for a distraction, Atsushi responds immediately, rolling his chair over to your desk. His knees bump into yours, and you roll back a little.
“What’s up?” he asks, toying with his tie. The suddenness of lasers on the back of your head makes you snicker.
Closing your eyes, you sigh again. “I’m so tired.”
Atsushi’s eyes widen, concern glazing over his expression. “Oh! Why? Did you not get enough sleep last night?”
“Something like that,” you mumble.
“Huh,” Atsushi contemplates, looking around the office. “I can see if Kunikida still has his blankets in the storeroom. Do you wanna nap?”
“No," Shaking your head, the corners of your lips turn upwards. "All I want is for someone to apologise."
The volume of your voice pushes Atsushi into speechlessness, his eyes darting behind you momentarily. "This sounds domestic..."
You wave your hand in dismissal, scoffing.
"Have you eaten?" you ask, peering at the clock. "Wanna get lunch?"
Atsushi shakes his head but awkwardly throws his thumb over his shoulder. "I should finish this. Kunikida will kill me if I don't."
You nod solemnly, watching your colleague roll back behind his desk. Rubbing your eye, you reluctantly turn your attention back to the man at the table 6 paces away.
He's ignoring you, even though it's his fault. You contemplate asking Dazai to get food with you, but you're mad. So, you roll your eyes and stand, reaching down the grab your bag strap.
"Okay, bye."
The office is silent as you leave, Kenji the only one returning your bid farewell.
Stomping down the stairs because the elevator doesn't allow you to express your frustration, you imitate Dazai's voice as you descend. "Oh, how was I meant to know? Blah, blah, blah-"
But your frown deepens as you exit the stairs on the level of the cafe. "Chuuya."
The redhead straightens at the sound of his name and spins around. "What do you want?" His eyes narrow at the sight of you.
You tilt your head, eyes lifting to the ceiling. "You're in my building. Shouldn't I be the one asking you?"
Rolling his eyes so far back you swear he can see his brain, Chuuya huffs and crosses his arms. "Boss put me in charge of watching the Agency for the day," he sighs, looking you up and down. "So far, it's boring and agitating."
"Yeah, well," you shrug, stepping up to the cafe counter. "That's what happens when you're unbelievably paranoid."
You can feel the heat radiating off Chuuya when you turn back to him after ordering. "Got a problem?"
"Where is he?"
An exasperated sigh leaves your lips. "Dazai is none of your business, and he's none of mine either."
Chuuya physically jerks, his eyes popping out of his head. "What?"
Again, you shrug one shoulder and make your way towards a booth, sliding into it. To your dismay, Chuuya slips into the opposite side.
"Yes?"
He shakes his head. "You and Dazai-"
"Are in an argument right now," You rest your chin on your palm. "So what he does is none of my concern."
"Please," Chuuya scoffs. "That guy is weirdly obsessed with you, and you know it, has been since I met the bastard."
You don't reply, thanking the waitress when she sets your cup and saucer on the table.
Meeting his eye, your shoulders drop. "What are you? A couples counsellor?"
Chuuya taps his foot relentlessly on the floor, and the sound drives you to kick his shin. "Fuck off!"
"Why are you talking to me?" You ask, sipping your drink, eyeing him suspiciously. "If you want me to fix your hat again, sorry, I'm out of business."
Chuuya's lips press into a white slash, and you stop yourself from laughing.
"Chuuya!"
The familiar voice has you frozen. Chuuya's scowl deepens, and he stands, attention entirely off you.
"Dazai."
You don't dare look at the man standing at the end of the table, whose eyes are concentrated on you. "Whatcha doing here, slug?"
Chuuya replies, but you don't hear him. Dazai's gaze remains on you, blocking out his ex-partner's babble.
"That's so great," He exclaims to Chuuya. "Come with me," Dazai says, reaching his hand out to you. You inhale sharply and take his palm.
Chuuya shakes his head in perplexity, glowering. "You two are weird, you know that?"
Stepping out into the street, you squint your eyes against the glare of the sun. Dropping his hand, you stalk down the street.
Dazai makes no complaint and follows you, taking a few steps too many and bumping into you. Turning to face him, you glare.
Dazai sighs, his hair tickling your forehead as he looks down at you.
You lean back dramatically. "Why're you so close?"
Dazai's expression remains the same, his frown causing the crease between his brows to deepen. "This is a normal distance for us, bella."
Huffing, you reach to smooth out the groove, rubbing your thumb over his forehead. "You'll get wrinkles."
"We need to talk."
Dropping your arm, you feel your throat close and shake your head. You train your eyes on the fraying bandages on his neck, biting your lip in concentration as you try to remember if you picked up any at the grocery store yesterday. "You need to replace your bandages."
Dazai says your name sternly, running his hand over his face.
You glare up at him. "Well, talk then!"
Screwing his eyes shut, Dazai looks at the ground. "I can't!"
"Argh!" You take a step back, frustrated.
"My problem," you start. "Is that I can't do anything without you interfering."
Dazai's jaw is clenched when he looks at you.
"I'm a part of this agency for a reason, Dazai. If I can't go on missions, then what am I good for?"
"I don't want to see you hurt!" He yells, his voice echoing down the street. Your frown lessens but remains.
"Okay!" You counter. "And what of me then? Do I not get any say in what happens to you?"
"I deserve whatever comes for me, you know that."
You push your fingers into your closed eyes, hoping the tears will stay away. "4 years..."
Dazai says nothing, allowing you to continue.
"4 years since we left, 4 years since Odasaku died, and you still feel like you don't deserve anything good."
At his shaky inhale, you peer up at him. Dazai swallows thickly.
"God, Dazai," you cry. "When will you accept that I won't leave you because of who you are? What you did in the past doesn't matter to me! Hell, look what I did when we were tied to the mafia."
He sighs. "You're an angel-"
Laughing bitterly, you pin your stare on him. "You wanna say that to the girl who tortured thousands of people? Who gets a little trigger-happy and has to be knocked out to stop because she can't, for the life of her, allow anything bad to happen to you?"
Tears spill down your cheeks as you rant, hiccups cutting off your words. "I would die for you, Osamu."
With red eyes, Dazai looks down at you. He chews his bottom lip until it bleeds, and you wipe away the red trickle with your thumb.
Dazai brings his hand to your cheek. "I would die for you, too."
"I know you would. I don't doubt your love for me. All I'm asking," you whisper. "Is that you let me do things for the Agency, no matter the risk."
Dazai sighs softly, his breath fanning your mouth. "I can try, but there's no promise that I won't be right next to you every time."
"Dazai-"
"You can't stop me from tagging along," He smirks. "We're partners, remember?"
You roll your eyes. "Kunikida is your partner."
Dazai grabs your wrist to check the time on your watch. "As of an hour ago, he's Atsushi's partner."
Your jaw drops, and your hand freezes at his waist. "Really? You're my partner?"
"I can't let you die all on your own, can I?" Dazai chuckles deeply, wrapping his arms around you and pressing you against him, shoving his face into your neck. "It's my dream to carry out double suicide, remember?"
You shake your head, giggling, and pull him closer. "You're a menace."
"Anything to keep you safe," He whispers.
You pull your face back to look at him. "Now, you're gonna have me at your side telling you not to do stupid shit."
Dazai smiles. "And I will for the rest of my life."
"In life and death, my love."
289 notes
·
View notes