#and i would not have accepted myself

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

#fe warriors three hopes #mercedes von martritz #miklan anschutz gautier #we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it #i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way #so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault) #did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him #no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF #no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how #he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes #who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ? #like that npc stuck with me a while ok #just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now #i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo

[divorcedfiddleford]

it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)

#sorryyyyyy for not posting ... please accept these as compensation #gravity falls #fiddleford mcgucket #artwork of the damned #tales of the wild zeep #ummmm ok context for the first one should be mostly self-explanatory #i purposefully left the person he's calling open to interpretation #however for the record i will say i am a 'fiddleford was divorced before he came to gravity falls' truther #but that does not mean he would never call back to cali to check in on his son or anything #so take that as you will #uhhhh everything else is pretty silly and doesnt require much explanation i dont think?? #i dont draw pre-college fidds a lot even though i literally have a whole backstory written for him LOLLLL #also i have a whole complex where when i draw a character pre-transition i feel embarrassed #sort of like i've walked in on them in the bathroom or something. like 'whoops sorry' and i politely look away #want to make it VERY CLEAR i dont think theres anything wrong or bad about drawing someone pre-transition!! #it's just a weird thing ive noticed about myself that i'm trying to deal with #and it literally only happens when i'm drawing. not when i'm writing

[puppydoggraham]

Thinking about how Will Graham views his anger as righteous which of course extends to Hannibal. A lot of his anger in s2 is over the fact that he finally trusted someone only for that person to betray him but it’s more than that. It’s more than just what Hannibal did to him. What he’s truly deeply angry about is that Hannibal knows his dark nature and not only knows it, but wants him to embrace the very nature he’s desperately trying to suppress.

He’s supposed to be the one that’s perceptive. He’s the one who is supposed to see it all while remaining unknown and unseen. And yet Hannibal recognizes what kind of person he has as soon as they meet. It’s not supposed to be that way. He hates that Hannibal is the one person he can’t hide from. Who will always see through the facade he puts on for others who buy into it. That’s why when Hannibal essentially tells him in s3 that he hasn’t changed, he’s fuming. If just Hannibal can believe he’s changed, maybe he himself can believe it too.

But he doesn’t. And deep down Will knows that’s just what it is too: a facade. Hating Hannibal is really just him hating himself at the end of the day. He takes a lot of his displaced anger out on him. He has these violent murder fantasies about Hannibal that symbolically can be read as him trying to kill off this part of himself. He can’t kill them off. Suppression only works for so long. The fantasies only grow stronger.

It’s only when he gives in at last during TWOTL. When he stops supressimg who he is. When he stops hating himself for it and overthinking about the act of violence. When he allows himself indulgence. This is when he experiences being at peace with himself possibly for the first time ever. At last, the internal battle that rages on inside him calms. The voices in his head go quiet. Even though this is brief, he knows that what he and Hannibal experienced on that cliff is a moment of peace in a lifetime of unrest. He doesn’t take it for granted, which is why he says what he does. When he stops fighting Hannibal, giving into the violence and also his touch as they embrace, it represents that he stops fighting with himself too. And isn’t that the most beautiful thing in the world?

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #hannibal lecter #hannibal meta #you guys always get my Hannibal analysis #well it’s will hours baby #I’m feeling very will lately which means you get will analysis #I’m so will graham like genuinely you have no idea #I feel like everyone says they’re will bc he’s haha awkward autistic loner #and trust me I’m that too #but I’ve personally had so much of a battle with suppressing myself and shame and not letting myself have desire #especially over things not socially acceptable #and that resonates so hard with me #also the displaced anger #and a lot of my anger I would describe as righteous since it’s directed at those who have harmed me #okay maybe the person who said I write will well has a point #I also have a lot of self hate and don’t believe I’m able to be loved anyways #will graham I love you #literally typed this out like I would die if I didn’t get it out #also he denies affection too in addition to violence #or violence serves as a stand in for affection #(hence the line about speaking to him in a language he understands from chiyoh) #so on the cliff he accepts not only violence but affection #he accepts Hannibal’s love he stops running from it #the dual acceptance agh #so many layers #the way you can tell from how he holds onto Hannibal he’s just giving in completely #in that moment he was probably like what do I even do he’s not used to that

[ahxiang]

with the focus on the revolving door again in ep 16, i just want to say a little smth abt the door as an autistic person myself.

i know some ppl are frustrated with wyw's difficulty in using the door, saying it infantilizes her and that "she's a 27 year old lawyer, she's seen a revolving door before, she knows how they work." but the thing is, it's not abt her being familiar with revolving doors at all. at least not in the way you think. it's not "oh look at this lady, she doesn't understand this door bc she's autistic." it's a sensory issue.

autism affects our senses and the way we process them. what many allistics don’t understand about autism is that we’re not just overly sensitive to sounds and bright lights. we can be underly (is that a word??) sensitive to stimulus as well and have a hard time controlling our senses. this includes all seven senses. that right, seven. there’s the five you know, but also two you probably don’t: the vestibular sense and proprioception. these two have to do with body awareness, balance, and spatial orientation. that’s why many of us walk “weirdly” (if i ever catch you saying someone walks weirdly i am coming into your house and punching you in the face) or are clumsy. we have issues with our bodies in relation to the world around us and often have a hard time balancing. i walk into walls all the time and miscalculate and walk into doorways instead of through them. 

so it’s not that wyw doesn’t understand the social concept of a revolving door, but that they’re difficult to navigate through due to her vestibular and proprioceptive sensory issues. i myself have a hard time with revolving doors! so pls no more “this makes her look dumb” or “this is so unrealistic”. if wyw is bad representation and is stupid for having problems with a revolving door, then i’m an unrealistically stupid autistic that walks into walls.

#extraordinary attorney woo #eaw #sorry for the mini essay everything i write turns into a paper absjs also the bolding is so that it's easier to read for neurodivergents <3 #also i'm not gonna lie at first my internalized ableism took over and i was hard on wyw thinking she was making us look bad and stupid #and then i realized that *i* literally struggle with revolving doors and would have to get my dad to help me get through when i was younger #this show has honestly challenged my own internalized ableism and concept of what is and isn't acceptable autism symptoms to show #and y'know what? fuck the idea that there's a point where you're too visibly autistic! this show has made me love myself so much more #and has helped me through issues i didn't even realize i had! i didn't realize how much ableism i had internalized and held onto #it wasn't until i saw wyw do things that i had hated or berated myself for that i realized i was being too hard on myself #if i loved wyw then i had to love myself too! and on top of that seeing jun ho love her for who she was made me love myself all the more #i just really love this show flaws and all #tea talks #eaw autism science #1k

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[swagging-back-to]

it is not controversial to say that if you cannot finacially, emotionally provide for a child and/or your genetics would lead to them suffering then you should not have said child.

#anti natalism #anti natalist #antinatalism #antinatalist #seriously the amount of people who scream eugenics. #you have no fucking clue what eugenics is #you are screaming your support for children being born into already negelctful and abusive situations just for your own liberalism. #And guess what--animals in the wild who have genetic disorders dont get to pass on their faulty genes either #it isnt rude for me to say it. it's reality #and if you cant accept reality than thats even more reason you should nto be allowed to breed #i myself have endless genetic predisposures. schizophrenia diabetes heart disease arthritis. #even if i had the finances and wanted a child i know it would be COMPLETELY unethical to gamble with their life. #you all have gambling addictions and are control freaks

[clowndensation]

there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.

like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?

and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?

the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)

#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into. #anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what? #because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time. #i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore. #and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part #which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth #like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen #and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love) #i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love #like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life. #and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad- #and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do #because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far) #anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot. #succession

[haemosexuality]

why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes

#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself #but oh my godddddd #''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT #WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING #LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN #OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP #THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW #WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE????????? #''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important #characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work #this is totally plausible #''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT'' #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #sorry this is making me go insane a little bit. #adventure time #fionna and cake #every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the #mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again. #as a thing* that could have happened

[crispywizardtale]

#im a day late but i met ForceBook so i dont mind missing any of the 8 series im currently watching #but i have to talk about this #i was blown away by the chemistry this 2 give off #this was such a powerful scene #the way Phaya gasped and froze when he realizes that Tharn just kissed him is so well shown #but also the way he accepts it and just wants more wants to enjoy this moment and ge everything he can #its like a switch has been switched on inside of Phaya but also inside Tharn because its like he solber ups for a moment when their eyes met #the connection they share is so powerful #i kind of wish they kissed here of just a tiny peck which would be followed by heavy breathing and intenese eye contact #but i still love this scene a lot #i love how in the 1st ep it was Tharn who lost his cool and leaned back on Phaya while in this ep it was mostly Phaya (Tharn was drunk) #is anyone else freaking out over the forehead kiss????? #only me okay... #also after the last gif i need Phaya and Tharn to do it on the cauntertop at least once in this series #like imagine is shirtless Phaya lifts Tharn like that... #i gave myself hope now.... and if we dont get it ill be disappointed.... #i love this series so much its my all time fave airing now #the sign #the sign the series #the sign series #billybabe #billy patchanon #asian bl #bl series #thai bl

[watermelinoe]

rape is just a thing that may happen during war. we're not saying it didn't happen. it may have occurred. rape is not uncommon in war. it's not a weapon of war, there's no proof it's a pattern of violence against women, it's just something that happens for some reason.

#rape tw #i swear i'm now done talking about this fucking article now that i've worked myself up and can't sleep #completely disingenuous dripping with smugness and written by three fucking males #and some of you gobbled this right up #which is the part i'm most angry abt even though i shouldn't be bc i know radblr is full of ideologues #and i know i'm guilty of buying into twitter threads without reading the article #but it should really really really not be hard not to dismiss rape claims #if your first thought is ''oh phew i was worried i would have to condemn my side's actions'' then you have also bought into a narrative #ironically just as this article claims #but i shouldn't be surprised bc i see blatant antisemitic rhetoric disguised as anti-zionism here on the reg #so why not handwave rape as well #i just hate dogma. i hate dogma that creates acceptable victims. #i'm not going to leap to the defense of radicalized + militarized males. idc who they are. #bc it's all of them

[thatonefandomjumper]

Nico and Reyna should have been a part of the seven. Not Percy and Annabeth.

I am long past the point of being upset about this, but it’s still something I feel is worth talking about.

Percy and Annabeth had their story. They had five books of that story in fact. Their arcs were pretty much completed by that point. Sure, there was room to expand the scraps that were left untouched, and I definitely think they should do that, but to do that there was no need for them to be parts of the seven.

I am aware that this would completely change the narrative of the story, but they can still be parts of the Argo crew

Now, when I say that, I mean that they'd function in a similar way that Nico and Reyna did in the original books

Reyna is a new character and Nico is one that’s far from having been developed to his fullest. Making them parts of the seven would give them more time to shine. Especially Reyna. The dynamics of the characters on this shp would need to shift and change from the beginning!

Like- Think of how this would effect the politics of Camp Jupiter? The fall into Tartarus? The blood of Olympus!?

And honestly I’d love for Percy and Annabeth to be tagging along to the quest, just not as part of the seven.

But of course, the people wanted Percy and Annabeth, and Percy and Annabeth was given too the people. They were even thrown into Tartarus for the people.

Judging from the reaction people had to Jason in The Lost Hero, the reason why Percy and Annabeth were a part of the seven is, of course, very clear, but that doesn’t mean I think a more interesting story could have been told if it had been Reyna and Nico.

#I don't really trust Riordan to write the sort of complex story im envisioning this change would have brought though #Especially during his hoo era #But I can think and speculate and I suppose that's all I need #Also I maniged to restrain myself from adding some of my Valdangelo agenda to this #Be proud of me. It took all my streangth. #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #Nico di Angelo #reyna avila ramirez arellano #the seven pjo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #The Mark of Athena is the only thing I am a bit mixed on how I would handle #Replace it? Or keep Percy and Annabeth along for that part of the quest? #I dunno! But brainstorming is fun so I ain't complainin. #Also before I read hoo I honestly though Nico was also a part of the seven and was very confused when I found out he was not #Also as for their Tartarus replacements I would nominate Nico and Leo but that is only because Hellbent has rotted my brain #The Tartarus in that fic is the only Tartarus I will accept

[moghedien]

i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking

#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful #if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu' #I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL #ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS #PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER #i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair #its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted' #and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you #and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu #NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE #figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life #and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES #but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me) #knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me #and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily #like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them #and telling them they don't is beyond cruel

[greenerteacups]

i'm starting to notice vol.3 has a very interesting theme of blue here, between the cover, draco wearing lucius's ice blue robes to the ministry (son & heir indeed), andromeda + tonks telling draco he looks terrible in ice blue (oh hello extended metaphor), draco wearing DARK blue to hogsmeade, draco FEELING blue over not being able to protect hermione/ron and hermione being close/theo's general situation. hopefully if it's not too spoiler-y, would you want to speak to the rationale behind this?

Totally! Fashion is one of my hobbies, it is one of the (many) indulgent pleasures of writing Lionheart to get to dress up my blorbos in fun little outfits, and part of that is doing Motifs with color and silhouette. E.g. Hermione's core colors are pink and gold, with a frequent accent of red; whenever Draco notices her wearing something, it's usually in one of those colors. I wanted to uncouple the normal association of pink, a feminine color, with unseriousness or frippery or silliness; like nah, Hermione is serious as fuck and the smartest character in the core cast, and she's also (1) a girl who (2) likes pink. If you wanted to read into that, you could say it's the color of a flush, which is literally blood rising. It's passion and affection and love — and it's also just a nice color for a coat to be I can't believe you asked a question about Draco specifically and I immediately wrote a hundred words about Hermione okay BACK ON TOPIC:

I feel like you kind of did all the heavy lifting for me in the question — blue is a color tied in several places to Draco's patrilineal heritage, and Draco's been wearing it a lot, not coincidentally, as his relationship with his mother strains. He's also been referring to himself more pointedly as a "Malfoy"; he tries to evoke Lucius's image and model his behavior at the Ministry; he introduces himself to the first years by his last name; he boasts about his family fortune, a.k.a. Lucius's money, to Hermione in Hogsmeade; and one of his first thoughts when Hermione's hurt is about how a "Malfoy" should be able to stop this. His mother — who comes from a more powerful wizarding family, incidentally — doesn't even register to him as a part of his pedigree/identity. So he's doing all these things that subconsciously link himself to his father even as he's increasingly vocal about rejecting his father's legacy. Curious, that.

Unfortunately, you can't be Malfoy unless you're Lucius's son. And I'm not surprised Andromeda doesn't think the color suits him.

#greenteacup asks #lionheart spoilers #god i fucking love talking about fashion in lionheart i had to stop myself because i was like. you HAVE to accept death of the author #we can't be doing this (she would and will keep doing this)

[scribefindegil]

I mean this in the ace-est possible way but Dimple-in-Reigen's-body is really hot. sorry.

#'but scribe you don't experience attraction what does this even--' #I Do Not Know. #it's just. it's just the Vibes. #other things with similar Vibes include: #really good topstitching #when art is a specific kind of Very Shaped #extremely sharp knives #(ONLY craft knives tho cooking knives and weapons don't count) #olivier armstrong fullmetalalchemist #um. the concept of herb spirals in permaculture #enjambment #a lot of literary devices actually #anaphora is very sexy #sestinas if they're good #ANYWAY the point is that i went from the sort of ace person who would never in a million years use words like 'hot' or 'sexy' #to the sort of ace person who uses them and the things they describe are sure a Category #but not a category that maps in any way at all onto the commonly accepted actual definitions of the words #and then very occasionally a character will enter The Category #and i'll be like what the fuck i don't feel like that about *people*!? #and then i have to remind myself that it's the same feeling as looking at topstitching #okay that's one point #the other point is still that possessed Reigen is hot #ace stuff #mp100