#and it has been my second most played album since it came out

[thisisareallymeaningfulurl]

New Will Wood album dropped! Fuck yeah! I know what I’m going to listen to later 🥰

#personal bluh #I’m so excited #The Normal Album is one of my favorite albums of all time #like a true no skip album #and it has been my second most played album since it came out #so I’m stoked to have new will to listen to #will it top the last album? who knows! #but I’m excited to find out

[louisupdates]

By Marcelo Fernández Bitar [translated from Spanish]

In just over 24 hours, Louis Tomlinson passed through Buenos Aires and caused a commotion, with hundreds of fans crowding at the door of his hotel singing and shouting his name, and also occupying almost the entire block where there is a FM radio station where he went to give an interview.

The fanaticism generated with his solo career by the former singer of One Direction in Argentina is so great that in fact he will give a recital in the same stadium where he was in 2014 with the mega-boy band. It will be on May 18 in Vélez Sarsfield.

Louis Tomlinson already has two solo albums and is touring the world presenting the most recent, Faith in the Future. It came out in November 2022 and surprised with his most rocky sound, close to the Brit-pop of his beloved Oasis, and less pop. It was number one in England and three singles came out, Bigger Than Me, Out of My System and Silver Tongues.

Hurricane Louis

The visit was really fleeting with the purpose of promoting his show next month, the old-fashioned way, when the artists toured the countries to advertise albums or tours, something they currently do on Zoom or with posts on their official accounts.

Louis arrived on Friday night and spent Saturday fulfilling an intense schedule of activities, to leave early the next day.

First he went to the Vélez football field for a television interview which will be televised later by TN, and then he went to the radio station Los 40 Principales, where his fans filled the entire Gorriti street, between Ravignani and Arévalo, to witness an interview where eight listeners joined to ask him a question each.

He finally arrived at 4 p.m. at the Four Seasons hotel, where hundreds of other fans were screaming for him. There he gave a series of reports and chatted with Clarín in a room equipped as a small television set, with lights and a set with his name and the cover of the disc.

"Never, not for a second, did I think I would be going through some of the same experiences," he said, "that I was lucky enough to live in the band. I thought that was something unique. So being able to come here and feel the level of love and the incredible reaction on today's radio station, means a lot to me. When I imagined what my solo career would be like, I really didn't know what to expect.

Re-filling stadiums

At 32-years-old, Louis Tomlinson has the experience of having been part of one of the greatest pop phenomena of the last 20 years, with sales records and sold-out shows in stadiums around the world. And now he is repeating the fury alone, just as it happened just a little earlier with his ex-bandmate Harry Styles.

In Louis’ case, he first sold out the closed Movistar Arena stadium in 2022 and now he goes through a huge soccer field like Vélez.

Q: Did you think that being a soloist you had to start from below and sing in smaller places?

Louis: Yes, exactly. But it turns out that I can still play in big places, so it's great.

Q: Can we really talk about a mania of a "louistomlinson-mania"? Does it happen everywhere or is it special in Latin America?

Louis: I think that in terms of the level of similar intensity, and seeing what happened a moment ago on the radio station, that certainly doesn't happen to me everywhere. Let me put it this way: it's incredible to be so far from home and feel that level of love. I'm very excited to think about what the show will be like here.

Q: It's incredible that almost exactly ten years have passed since the last time you filled Vélez. How do you feel when you return to the same stadium?

Louis: I feel very lucky to be able to play in those places again on my own. I also feel very, very proud of myself and my fans. I feel like we have created something that is quite special and we did it together. With them as listeners, but also as facilitators. That really helped my confidence and made me feel good on stage. It's a lovely relationship and I'm very proud of it.

Q: This tour started almost a year ago, how did it evolve with respect to the first shows?

Louis: I definitely feel in a good place right now with the show. Anyway, in advance I was excited about this tour because this album was designed for the live show. So I was excited to see how the songs would work. And the energy is great. I am very excited to show Faith in the Future to Latin America.

Q: How did the idea of making a live cover of Arctic Monkeys come about?

Louis: Arctic Monkeys grew up about 20 minutes from where I live. It was something very close, very fresh in the mind and obviously huge. I was growing up and I'm also a big fan. I usually do the song 505 because it's very pretty.

Often, with the versions, I probably think more about what I would like to sing than about what I imagine that everyone else would like to hear, which may be misjudged, but I'm enjoying it.

Q: When you were a teenager you sang Oasis songs and now you have a rock band that sounds very Brit-pop, almost closing a circle.

Louis: Thank you. I am very, very fortunate to have the band I have, but they also perform sonically and visually, everything that is really important to me. They sound absolutely incredible. I don't think I would be able to do this without my band.

Q: Live you also perform songs from One Direction. Did you feel that kind of shadow at the beginning of your solo career and now you are more comfortable looking back?

Louis: I think a bit about both things. I think that at the beginning of my career I would have been a little more worried about putting too many One Direction songs in the repertoire. What I wanted most was to spread my wings and show who I was. But I think that as time went by, the nostalgic moments are really charming. So it's like a beautiful mixture of nostalgia and it's very nice to do it.

Ping-pong

Q: This is the third time you have visited our country. If you had to describe your Argentine fans in three words, which one would you choose?

Louis: Passionate. Loyal. Affectionate. That’s okay, isn't it?

Q: The soccer player Kun Agüero said that there is a lot of talk to you through Instagram or Twitter. Have you ever met him in person?

Louis: Actually, we have never seen each other in person. Over the years we've talked a little here and there, but I never found time. I have a kind of crazy hope that he can come to the show.

Q: If you had to choose one of your songs, either from Walls or Faith in the Future, that reflects how you feel right now in your life, what would it be?

Louis: I would say that the name of the album (Faith in the future) represents where I am right now, but I think that in the future I would like to always be optimistic.

Q: And if all the One Direction discography was deleted and a song had to be saved. Which one would you save?

Louis: It's interesting... I would probably say Story Of My Life. That seemed like a real milestone. I would say it's a little more serious. And I also think it's a bit of a crazy song.

Q: You are a big soccer fan, do you have any preference for an Argentine club?

Louis: I'm very afraid to say something wrong... I'd better say that I love you all. (laughs)

Photos

Links

#louis press #louis tomlinson #fitfwt24: buenos aires #6.4.2024 #clarin

[adagioapassionato]

Thinking about…0.1 flaws and all by wave to earth

Having grown to love wave to earth in the last year, I was so, so excited for their first ever studio album! It did not disappoint at all and I have been playing it on repeat since it came out. If I were to sum up this album in a few words, they would be “love in a day.” The two sides of the album come together beautifully to represent the many ways of experiencing love and heartbreak, while associating them with the progression of a single day. wave to earth’s music is unique because it always evokes not just a specific feeling, but a specific picture or scene in my mind.

1. bad

The first track on A-side, ‘bad’, begins with an almost playful melody on the guitar, and is perfect for signaling the start of this day of love. The narrator sings of deciding to let themselves out of the house on this day, which seemingly turns into the best decision they could have made – they meet the person they love, and realize that their day could only go well if they spend it with them. The music used beautifully conveys this very message. The first verse, where they describe “Lately, life’s so boring/I’ve been watching Netflix all day alone…”, is accompanied by somewhat melancholy tones on the guitar, alongside a softer drum accompaniment and bass. However, the tone of the music brightens with “When I went to the park/I recognized you at a glance”, and as they end the pre-chorus with “We already know that we’ll be together”, the drums and bass play the same rhythm together, much louder, conveying the happiness of finally meeting someone you love. Similarly, the tone of the music is brighter through the second verse, which describes being with this person. wave to earth’s English lyrics rarely rhyme – but in the second pre-chorus, vocalist Daniel rhymes “I recognized you at a glance/Face to face, we smiled/And I finally held your hands” – as though his day and life fall into the right rhythm when he’s with this person. Also, while his voice is bare and unaccompanied through the first part of the chorus, he adds harmonies on the final line ‘And I finally held your hands,’ giving the impression that this same harmony enters his life as soon as he holds hands with the one he loves. The playful melody of the guitar, and the slow description of Daniel moving out of his house alongside the lyrics “coffee in the morning” create the perfect atmosphere of the beginning of a sunny morning of happiness, and starts off our journey with wave to earth through their day of love.

2. sunny days

The next two tracks, ‘sunny days’ and ‘peach eyes’, could signify the passing of a sunny morning and afternoon with someone you love. sunny days has a bright and refreshing sound. I particularly liked the lyric, “we melt this love and recreate it/as we imagine it/that’s how we make sunny days.” I always enjoy how Daniel writes lyrics that transcend the boundaries of different kinds of love. This one suggests that love can be whatever you want it to be, whatever you make it to be, and that’s how you create a lasting love with someone that adds sunlight and happiness to your life. Although the songs have romantic undertones, I found it just as easy to relate songs like ‘bad’ and ‘sunny days’ to spending a fun day with my friends. I think Daniel really does “melt love and recreate it” with such lyrics! The most evocative part of these songs, I think, is that the use of imagery in the lyrics brings to life the yellow glow of sunlight, “the beautiful scenery of the streets” and “the chirping of birds.”

3. peach eyes

‘peach eyes’ continues a similar theme, with a slightly lower sound that resembles admiring the one you love. This contrasts the higher and brighter tone of ‘sunny days’ that conveys the joy of being with your favourite person. The lyric “peach eyes” was a bit confusing to me at first, but bassist John Cha describes that the song was inspired by the band’s first international performance at a festival in Thailand, where the innocent happiness of the fans’ eyes evoked the phrase “peach eyes”. With this context, the song was even more heartwarming – ‘peach eyes’ suggests a softness, gentleness and calmness in the eyes of someone you love. The song suggests that this person grows ever more important to the narrator, with lyrics like “how many songs I write”, “how could I not rely/on you, peach eyes”, and finally “besides I won’t find nobody/to give my whole life, it’s you.” ‘peach eyes’ has a more late-afternoon vibe – the narrator describes “blue skies”, but then “you’ll be my sunlight” – although the sun is setting slowly, the brightness of their companion’s existence makes it feel as though the sun is still lighting up their day. This song comforts me and makes me smile and dance along a lot!

Together, I think these songs show the peaking and climax of a day, alongside the peak of love in a relationship – as the sun reaches its peak, so does the love the narrator has for the person they sing about.

4. evening glow 

‘evening glow’ is an interestingly contrasting song that sounds like a transition between the former sunny glow of the album, towards a slowly setting sun and a slowly ending love. The melodies of the song are soothing and have a nostalgic, romantic feel, but the lyrics are laced with twinges of sadness. The bright electric piano at the beginning, along with the lyrics, “If I feel broken/you will find me” create the impression of a love song, but the following lyrics – “Those useless words were falling apart on me/I’m struggling in my world” immediately destroy those impressions and come as a shock. While the opening melodies are soothing to the ear, the line “I might be full of flaws” sounds dissonant, almost out of tune – it conveys a theme like ‘flaws and all’ perfectly, and the next line “but you will crave my heart” is sung in a soothing, gentle tone, seemingly a comforting acceptance of those very flaws.

This song sounds like a mix between sadness and denial over being hurt by someone you love. The first verses use lyrics with an imperative tone: “you will find me”, “I might be full of flaws/ but you will crave my heart” – as though trying to convince oneself that this person couldn’t truly hurt you, they’d continue loving you as you are and save you when you feel broken. But the chorus reflects on being hurt by the person in a painfully sad way – “I’m broken/So take me to the evening glow/And lay me down on the sun/The tender sun.” It makes the pain caused seem almost romantic, desirable and something that the narrator wants to hold close and accept. The narrator seems to hope that if they get close enough to the “sun” that brightened up their days earlier, laying down on it despite its heat, they may feel less broken. They hope that the hurt this person caused them may lessen as they try and hold on to the glow of the setting sun, to the beauty of their fading love.

5. pink horizon and

6. pink

Hearing the studio version of this years-old song was the most satisfying thing about this album, and ‘pink’ is definitely my favourite song! Combining ‘pink’ with its intro, ‘pink horizon,’ is perfect in creating a dream-like feel. The experience of listening to ‘pink’ was a hundred times more amazing with ‘pink horizon’ to go with it, and I rarely listen to the two songs separately now. ‘pink horizon’ creates a cinematic picture of a pink sunset in my mind, from the fading in of the scene to a full shot of a field bathed in pink light, an image created by the soft piano at the beginning. As other instruments join in, the image grows clearer and paints itself, transitioning into the beginnings of ‘pink’.

‘pink’ feels like a memory remembered while experiencing the sunset. The lyrics seem to construct a dream world – “Everything is free here/A heart that spreads and flies.” The narrator seems to run trying to hold on to this dream – “I ran through the grass until my shoes were worn out/While the sun sets” – they try to grasp the fading love as they run towards the setting sun, holding on to this last beautiful memory. “I drew you/Your beautiful appearance,” they say – they need to draw in the image of the person they love, create this last beautiful memory so they can find a reason to hold on to a love that is fading. The fleeting nature of the relationship and the day is seen as the narrator goes on to say “The day passes by so fast/Almost as if it will be forgotten.”

The romantic vibes created by the melodies on the chorus, and the gentle guitar and saxophone at the end of the song, add to its dreamy vibe and create an even deeper sense of nostalgia, but also one of yearning and grasping for something faraway. With this song, we see the end of the day – the sun sets and it begins to rain, as the narrator sings “Around the time the raindrops burst/Will I miss you?” This song is beautifully comforting and the melodies are truly so satisfying to listen to. It’s a song that I hold so close to my heart – I played it on repeat once I’d had a few listens out of the album!

7. calla

‘calla’ continues on from the previous track, beginning with “It’s raining hard today…” The song continues the theme of a fading love, this time with the narrator giving their all to saving this fading relationship. “It’s raining hard today/It’s a bit too much for me/I know it will make you smile/So let ourselves get wet inside the rain.” The narrator allows themselves to be wet in the rain although it isn’t what they enjoy, just to see a smile on the face of the one they love. As their world “fills with the scent” of the one they love – as they see them happy, they glimpse their past love in their lover’s smile, they hope this moment is forever, and not a “daydream.”

The narrator describes their relationship as a calla lily – after they grow, these flowers enter a period of dormancy after which they regrow and bloom again. Thus, they see their fading love as something temporary – they hope that just like a calla lily, this love can grow back after its temporary death. Maybe this moment of happiness means that their love can be saved, that it can grow back to be the beautiful calla lily it once was. The narrator wants to put in every effort to ensure their love grows back – “If you don’t have enough sunlight/I’ll blow the clouds away/Calla.” They try to bring back the sunny days and bright light that characterised the beginning of their relationship, as described in the first few tracks of the album. Although the narrator tries to ‘get wet inside the rain’ at the beginning of this song, catering to their companion’s feelings, they once again try to bring the sun, their conception of happiness, back into their love and relationship.

The tone of this song is decidedly sadder compared to the previous ones – while they contained a nostalgic yet dreamy and romantic feel, this song’s melodies speak purely of yearning, of pain that stems from love. The song ends with the plain sound of only the bass and the drums – these instruments, which usually create rhythm, play with no accompaniment. This could show that the relationship has truly ended – without the melody and music holding it together and drawing it forward, all that’s left is the rhythm, the structure: the memory of what once was.

8. love.

From the outset, I could tell this was a song that was filled with emotion and had been made with a lot of effort, heart, and, well, love. The melodies convey a love so overwhelming and powerful. I learned that the song is very special and describes the love Daniel has for his fellow band members and others he loves, and describes how they help him live with love. I read the lyrics in English and I almost felt that there was nothing more I can say that he hasn’t already said. There’s nothing more I can add that wouldn’t tamper with the deep feeling and pure heart Daniel put into this song. But I love this song so much I had to write something about it.

The song progresses in a crescendo that seems to match the growing love and gratefulness in Daniel’s heart towards the people he loves. The first verse starts with a soft tone and mellow music, while the pre-chorus picks up both in loudness and as the notes progress upwards in pitch. As it transitions into the chorus, with the lines “Finally, the world is mine,” we hear a clear declaration of this love. The second pre-chorus and chorus truly showcase the rising and peaking of the crescendo – “Finally, our world is perfect/With love/With love”. Once again, the notes progress upwards in pitch and sound harmonious, reflecting this world that feels perfect just by being filled with love.

The choruses, with the lyrics “After I grew and healed in my small heart/It breaks, hardens and melts/Only then can I see my eternity.” And then, “Like a small wave/My small heart/Is broken and pushed/And melts into you/Only then can I see my eternity.” These lyrics seem to describe the healing force of love – how it helps you grow and heal but also can truly shake your heart and alter the way you feel and see the world, causing a shift in your mind that really does last for eternity. He captures beautifully the sudden, lasting change, but also the comfort and healing that a long-lasting love can bring.

Especially during the second chorus, the main melody on the guitar sounds to me like an incoming and retreating wave, mirroring the lyrics and the nature of the love Daniel sings about here. Another thing I love about this song is how harmonious it sounds – the melodies are very pleasing to my ears and feel consonant enough to be from the same scale. But when I tried to sing this song, I realized how many notes are actually flat and require you to take on a pitch you would not normally expect. I think that conveys so much meaning. That when you love someone, you’re willing to subvert your own comforts and expectations if it means it’d make them happy. It also shows that though any love and person is flawed, it will always seem perfect to you because you value it so much. You accept it with all its quirks and imperfections.

I’m really moved by how genuinely and beautifully love is conveyed in this song, and yet it is left open to interpretation what kind of love one associates this with. I think that this is a beautiful conclusion to the A-side. Even through growing to love and value someone, being hurt by them and trying to save a relationship that fails, there are different kinds of love, and even through all the pain and flaws that come with it, it’s still truly what makes our world perfect and worth living in.

9. homesick

This track opens B-side, its melodies creating a forlorn feeling of a misty, freezing winter day. As A-side transitions from day to night, it can also transition from sunny, happy days of love to rainy, cold days of heartbreak and loneliness.

This song seems to convey remembering a lost love in a more painful manner, seeing the dreams of the relationship you hoped to have break in front of you – “all I wanted was to fly high/I can’t believe my wings are broken/and fell against the sky”. The chord progression on piano for this sounds dark and purposefully dissonant, as though signifying a deeply entrenched pain. Similarly, the rhythms are slow and seem almost to stick, as though they refuse to move forward, resembling the freezing, misty tones of this song. The tone with which Daniel sings this is also something I’d never heard him do before – it really amazed me! His voice sounds silvery and fairy-like, resembling ice crystallising on tree branches. In this way, he really conveys the feeling of being heartbroken on a cold winter day, wishing to return “home”, to the dreams he created, although his house is now “gone.”

The lyrics “I can’t believe my wings are broken/and fell against the sky”, when contrasted with the songs on the A-side of the album, really reminded me of the story of Icarus. It seems as though in chasing this love that resembled the sun and holding it close, even laying on it (evening glow), he flew too close to the sun, and the wings of love that helped him fly and dream melted, much like Icarus’. He now freezes in the cold, starkly contrasting the warmth of the sun that he had just been experiencing.

10. dried flower

This was a song I was already planning to write about! wave to earth released the songs ‘daisy.’, ‘calla’ and ‘dried flower’, which beautifully describe the flowering and withering of love. ‘dried flower’ seems to serve the same purpose here, following the song ‘calla’ with its story.

While the lyrics of ‘calla’ conveyed some hope of saving the relationship, this song seems to show the narrator finally accepting that what they so cherished has now withered away, beyond saving. ‘calla’ suggested, “the whole world/is getting filled with your scent”, but ‘dried flower’ contrasts this with “the scent of love has been dried out/the words you gave me have been already dried out.” A similar contrast is seen with “If you don’t have enough sunlight/I’ll blow the clouds away, calla”, and “There will be no blossoms for us/We don’t have any wetness, no sunlight.” While in ‘calla’, the narrator tried to enjoy the rain and bring the sun back to rejuvenate the dying flower of the relationship, they now accept that there’s nothing that could possibly allow their love to grow back like a calla lily – there isn’t even a semblance of a flower left to shower with sunshine or rain, there’s no love left to save.

Here too, the melodies are dark and dissonant, which emphasises the sadness of the song, but also the distance between the narrator and their companion. Particularly, the notes of the saxophone at the end add to this dark, painful aura. I wished ‘daisy.’ had been on the album somewhere too to complete this beautiful trio of songs – all the same, dried flower is painfully beautiful!

11. sunburn

‘sunburn’ seems to describe the delayed pain of being too close to someone who was like the sun – finally feeling the unbearable pain of aloneness, of loving someone too bright for you. The song puts a different spin on the ‘sunny days’ of A-side – instead of beautiful scenery, the surroundings, much like their feelings, are like a wasteland of “rubbish filth” where the sun has “gone black”, throwing “smoky haze” in their eyes. Although it’s dark, late at night, the narrator still feels the burning pain of the sunburn. They wait for the morning to cool down the unbearable heat – they hope tomorrow will be better, but the air still feels hot, they cannot escape the painful memories of a lost love.

Once again, Daniel’s tone of voice conveys these emotions perfectly. He uses a raspy tone when he sings, “smoky haze in my eyes”, as though it is in fact burning him as he tries to see. Additionally, his voice is subdued and seems to blend with the instruments – rather than the focus being on his singing, the production of the song creates a slight clash between the vocals and the instruments, as though he really is being suffocated in a wasteland of heat and burning sunlight.

The instrumental break before the final chorus and outro was also really interesting to listen to. The saxophone sound seems dissonant alongside the other instruments, and the use of pitch bends further add to the pain that the song conveys. It suggests confusion and hurt, a multitude of thoughts and memories that don’t seem to agree with each other. The fast beats on the drums also suggest spiraling through your mind as you sift through past memories and relive the hurt they put you through. I truly love the way this song is sung, written and arranged with its evocative sounds and imagery!

12. akira

‘akira’ is an interlude that presents a calmer mood compared to the highly emotional and painful tones of the previous tracks on B-side. It has a cleaner, brighter sound. It was interesting to hear a track by wave to earth arranged without a guitar, but the bright piano sound with the drums and bass adds to the calmer, lo-fi feel of this interlude. I enjoyed how I could identify the melodies and sounds that each instrument was playing on its own while also forming a whole. The bouncy rhythms come together with the brighter melodies, possibly to symbolise a sort of slow acceptance of the confusion and pain conveyed in the past few tracks.

13. nouvelle vague

Continuing on from ‘akira’s’ more hopeful tones, nouvelle vague (which means new wave, I just found out to write this!) seems to describe a change of heart, a sudden seed of hope that begins to grow. The narrator seems to realise that although they have been through such hardships before, it’s an opportunity for them to learn and grow again – “It seems like we’ve been on this sharp road before/If the soles of your feet are worn out/You’ll grow all over again.” They want to move ahead now with no expectations for the future, leaving behind a past of pain and simply taking life as it comes (“The place to go back to is fogged up now/If we go forward, will there be something to see?/I really have no expectations”). The narrator tries to hold on to this ‘new wave’ of hope, hoping it doesn’t fade away and they can truly ensure it grows and fills their heart up completely. The melodies seem to convey excitement, mystery and anticipation. The saxophone is used in a versatile way in this album – first conveying nostalgia, romance, confusion, and now, in this song, hope.

14. so real

‘so real’ is really a magnificent conclusion to this album. The sound was beyond anything I expected. The beginning starts out soft, resembling the melodies of wave to earth’s ‘ocean floor’. The verses have a reflective tone – the narrator has been changed by the pain they have been through, in a way that’s difficult for them to explain. However, it seems they wonder about what could’ve been had they done something different – “take me to the bridge/I just wanna see the river/Tell me what’s your wish/I can’t make it real/But I’m just curious.” While they can’t change how things are now, they can’t help but wonder what could’ve been if they’d been able to fulfill their wish. The river seems to represent something of a crystal ball to me here – they can gaze into its waters and visualise all the things that could have been.

In my mind, I saw the song progress such that the narrator peers into the river and sees all the possibilities of love, heartbreak, everything that could’ve happened if things had worked out differently for them, all at once. I see the silence in the middle of the song, followed by the fast-paced instrumental break, to convey just this. The fast, jerky drum beats and the smoother rhythm on the saxophone seem to show a speeding reel of possibilities and scenarios – just as one imagines all the things that could have, but did not happen, rushing through their mind, the music conveys this same experience. I think the title ‘so real’ thus encompasses this perfectly. It’s an experience that is ‘so real’ – it’s real, relatable to everyone who wonders how they got to the point they’re currently at. It’s an experience that feels ‘so real’ – imagining things that could have happened in such detail that they almost come to life before you, but they are still in your head. It is a track that truly brings together all facets of wave to earth’s expression, and is a perfect conclusion to this album.

This was a review that I was both scared to write, and that took me ages to write. Life meddles with things and I kept getting interrupted while writing this, although I love this album with my whole heart and wanted desperately to write a review since even before it came out. It was difficult to convey my thoughts when I wasn’t able to anchor myself purely on analyzing the meanings of lyrics. wave to earth use music and melodies as much as their lyrics to convey the emotions in their songs, and with my slightly limited knowledge of how to explain certain musical concepts and sounds, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to convey my impressions clearly. Overall, though, I think ‘flaws and all’ truly is filled with every single aspect and feeling of wave to earth. It’s an album made with a lot of love and care, and I feel that each musical choice was intentional and conveys something deeply meaningful. It’s an album that I hold very close to my heart – I hope I have been able to express my impressions of it clearly!

References:

pink - adapted from pink english lyric video

love. - adapted from love. english lyric video

nouvelle vague

#wave to earth #music #k-indie #band #writing #thinking about...music

[tryingtodotheright-thing]

Hello, Sunset - 9

AN: It ended up being a long wait so thank you to everyone who waited patiently. I think I'll be slowing my posting to one chapter a month. It was a lot of pressure to get a chapter written for every week (I put it on myself). I think this is more realistic and hopefully I'll enjoy the process more. I'm still trying to get into the flow of writing and none of this is proof read so please excuse mistakes. PAIRING: Seungcheol x fem!reader GENRE: exes to lovers, idol verse, angst WORD COUNT: 3,697 WARNINGS: reader has anxiety and depression, swearing, mentions of alcohol Text in blue is spoken/written in Korean. PREVIOUS / NEXT

The next three weeks in Japan fly by in the blink of an eye. Y/N made the most of her week’s rest in Kyoto before she moved to Tokyo for rehearsals. To her relief, the six nights of concerts across Japan went well. In fact, she was still buzzing from the last performance in Japan, when Fuji Kaze joined her as a surprise guest. She’s been rotating her discography, reworking songs to be duets based on who was joining her on stage as well as singing songs of the guest artist as a duet as well. She was enjoying learning from the experienced and talented musicians around her, not just the ones joining as guests but also the band who were playing live for her concerts. Y/N sometimes regretted not studying music as a subject in university. There was so much she didn’t know about music theory and often felt like she was making things up as she was going. The reassurance she received from the world-class musicians she worked with for the concerts boosted her confidence as an artist tremendously.

Y/N had just finished rehearsals for her first concert in Seoul tomorrow night. Out of all the famous celebrities she’s met since fame came into her life, the special guest for Seoul had been the person she had been most nervous yet desperate to meet. Y/N had been introduced to Kpop as a genre in 2007 when she was 11 years old by Eun Ji and one of the first bands she’d fallen in love with was BIGBANG. Everything about them had been cool to put it simply. The fact that she would be standing on stage and singing with Taeyang, the singer she’d admired for so long, is something Y/N still couldn’t get her head around.

The man was humble. Meeting him for the first time in person earlier today, Y/N couldn’t immediately connect that the person in front of her was the same one who’d put on a fearless performance in front of thousands. He’d walked in quietly in simple clothes and bowed politely to everyone in greeting and shook hands with all those who were involved in the production of the concert. He had asked if Y/N would be more comfortable speaking in English and foregoing honorifics but Y/N was too uncomfortable to refer to him as just Taeyang or Youngbae, remembering how he ruled the music scene in South Korea. 

“Taeyang sunbaenim, it’s such an honour to meet you! I can’t believe this is real,” Y/N had gushed.

“I really enjoyed listening to your latest album. I think it embodies why people say music feeds the soul.” 

He had blushed and thanked her before returning the compliments. The rehearsal that had followed still brought goosebumps to Y/N as she reminisced. Taeyang is Taeyang for a reason. 

Hearing a knock on her hotel room, Y/N got up from the sofa in her hotel suite. The boys were here. Knowing she’d be exhausted and would be flying out immediately after the second concert night, she had arranged to meet Joshua, Vernon and Seungkwan tonight for a meal instead. It was nothing elaborate, she’d ordered some food for them all to enjoy in her hotel suite. The boys had initially invited her to their dorm but she’d declined using rehearsal timings as an excuse. In reality, she’d said that as she didn’t want to take any chances. An article had been released when she was in Japan that Seungcheol would be using his outstanding holiday days and as a result, he would be discharged on 16 March 2026. The date was 19 March 2026 and whilst it was extremely unlikely Seungcheol would be anywhere near the dorms and was most definitely catching up with family in Daegu, Y/N was not going to try her luck. 

Opening the door, she was greeted with a blonde haired Joshua who immediately wrapped his arms around Y/N whilst Seungkwan and Vernon waved at her with occupied hands that carried more food. She ushered them in whilst Joshua still clung onto her like a koala and closed the door behind Vernon once they were all in.

“Hyung, get off. It’s our turn to hug, Noona.” 

Seungkwan pried Joshua’s claws off Y/N and was successful only because Joshua relented. Y/N was able to take a breath of freedom before she was engulfed in Seungkwan’s arms. She rubbed his back as he murmured his complaints of not seeing her for so long. Vernon peered over them hesitantly before shrugging and hugging her from the side. 

“Group hug!” 

Y/N groaned at the extra weight as Joshua joined in. Y/N took it all in, grateful that despite her disappearing act, they still cared for her and missed her. They eventually let go one by one, with Seungkwan the last to let go. She ruffled his fluffy brown hair in affection before patting his cheek as if to say she understood. If Joshua was the annoying elder brother, Seungkwan and Vernon were the adorable younger brothers she doted on. Y/N slung an arm around the shoulders of each 98 liner and guided them to the table where a delectable spread of Korean street food had been laid out for them to gorge on. Seungkwan and Vernon added to the feast some fried chicken and pizza as well as some soft drinks. Y/N was surprised the table didn’t give out under the weight of all of this food. She gestured for the boys to start eating and that she’d be right back. She ran to her room to grab the birthday presents she’d purchased for the three boys. When she returned to the living room of the suite, the boys stopped their conversation and turned to her. Deciding it was better off not knowing, Y/N ignored their suspicious act and passed each parcel to the correct member. She told them to open it later when they got home and they agreed, thanking her.

Slowly, the lingering awkwardness dissipated as the dynamics of their relationship came into play naturally. The target of their jokes was Joshua most of the time. Y/N would side with Seungkwan whilst Vernon would judge their antics as always. However, when Vernon joined in on the banter, the teasing was almost always aimed at Y/N. They joked about Y/N falling for Vernon’s tricks yet again as they munched on the food on offer. Y/N threw a rolled up tissue at the laughing men only to miss all three men, making them laugh harder. She caught up on what they’ve been up to, making sure they knew she’d done her best to keep up as she referenced Seungkwan’s latest appearance on a variety show. They updated her on their upcoming activities, from the maknae line’s album release to Joshua’s front page on the next Vogue issue. They spoke about Y/N’s tour, how this time was so different to her last tour due to its scale and how she envied the boys getting to tour together since it got lonely for her at times. She’d be flying to Hong Kong the morning after the second concert night. Joshua commented that it was a shame she won’t be spending much time in Seoul. Y/N suggested that they all come to her final show at the end of May in London and she promised to host them and play tour guide. 

“Yes, yes! I want to go to London! I can’t believe we still haven’t completed a Europe tour.” Seungkwan voiced with excitement.

“I always thought Seungcheol hyung would beat us to visiting you in London though.” 

Joshua slapped the back of Seungkwan’s head but it was too late; the words had already been spoken. It was as if someone had taken a big, sharp needle to a balloon. The safe space their camaraderie had built burst immediately. Joshua hesitated whether to acknowledge He Who Must Be Not Named. As much as Seungkwan had brought the male up with no warning and definitely no tact, Joshua had wanted to broach the subject. He’d spoken to Coups upon his discharge and as soon as the pleasantries had been spoken, his friend had brought up Y/N. Joshua had just told him she’s doing well and moved the conversation along but he knew Coups wasn’t satisfied.  

“Actually, Y/N-yah, a couple of days ago, I got a call from Cou-”

“Oh, look at the time! I really need to go to bed so I can make it to rehearsals in the morning.”

Joshua sighed at the avoidance and accepted that his friends would need to figure things out themselves. They said their goodbyes not long after wishing Y/N good luck for her performance the next day. Y/N refused to linger in the remorseful atmosphere and went straight to bed.

The moon gave way to the sunrise quickly. Y/N ate a light breakfast after freshening up, whilst pulling together a mental checklist of everything she would need to complete that day before the concert kicked off at 6pm. Soon, she was back at the concert venue for soundcheck. The next few hours passed in a flash as Y/N completed soundcheck, freshened up before putting herself under the care of her make up artist. The KSPO Dome was vast but cold, with spring not quite blooming in Seoul as the frost of winter still lingered in the air. Once Y/N was dressed in her first outfit for the concert, she’d sent a quick message of thanks to Joshua and the others with a picture of the flowers that rested in a tall vase of water in front of her. Cute, she’d called them. She hadn’t expected and was pleasantly surprised. 

When the trio had confirmed their attendance for her Seoul stop, Y/N had asked if they were sure. It had only been six months since the fiasco during the summer. She didn’t want to stir the pot again or start new fires. They had reassured her that there would be no problems; in fact, they’d encouraged her to recognise and mention during the concert if she felt comfortable to do so. The secrecy sometimes just blew things out of proportions. Maybe if they’d been open about their friendship from the beginning, it wouldn’t have been so easy for the narrative to turn against her. Y/N shook her head, as if the action would shake the thoughts out of her mind. She needed to focus on the present.

The next 30 minutes was a blur as she greeted Taeyang who had just arrived, got her mic set up and completed her last set of vocal warm ups. Then, she was on stage, almost blasted on to it actually. She loved it. Every second of it. Y/N had been content enough with her life before, satisfied enough to get by with a few loyal fans (most of whom were friends) and some comments on her YouTube channel. Now that she had experienced the adrenaline, the exhilaration of performing on stage, she knew that she could not give it up. It was like a drug. When others had explained it as such, she’d scoffed at them. She knew better now. It was pure ecstasy. The thrill that washes her from head to toe as she performed to thousands, who were all there to listen to her sing - there was nothing like it. She was sure that if pharma companies could come up with a way to bottle it up and sell it, they would make millions. Humans were greedy and she was human after all. Y/N wanted to be adored. She wanted to be treasured. She wanted to be needed. Being on stage filled gapes within her that she didn’t know existed. 

Soon, Y/N was singing her song ‘Honey’ and watched in amusement as she saw the jaws drop and the silent gasps from her audience as the stage door opened to reveal Taeyang as he sang along with her. It was the first time she’d rearranged this song as a duet and it came across much more playful as a duet. It was also fitting to sing a song called ‘Honey’ with the man whose voice melted hearts. After introducing Taeyang, Y/N had run off for an outfit change whilst he sang his latest release. People who had ever experienced performing would know that time flows differently during a show, of any kind. The moments on stage slowed down almost to the point as if you were watching a recording on your old VCR player, with the video rolling on 0.5 speed. As soon as your part was done and you moved backstage into the darkness, time sped up as if someone was pressing the control buttons, pressing the fast forward button again and again until you were back on stage. It’s how it felt to Y/N as she walked back on stage cheering Taeyang after he’d finished singing two songs on his own. After a small chat between them on stage, they’d moved to sing one last song together. 

“Please raise your hands together for the one and only Taeyang everyone!” 

Taeyang waved to the audience before walking off stage with a salute. Then, it was back to the program. Three songs later, Y/N was giving her final thanks to the audience before she sang the last song. She thanked the live band, the tour production team, the W Music staff and of course, the audience who had made the effort to come and see her perform. Emma had asked if she wanted to recognise any celebrities in the audience and Y/N had said no. She didn’t want to make a faux pas or miss anyone. She’d not done it before at her shows and she didn’t want it to seem as if she was deliberately calling attention to the SEVENTEEN members in the audience to validate her friendship. However, as she was finishing thanking her two best friends, Rachel and Eun Ji, who were in the audience, the spotlight and camera flicked to land on Joshua, Seungkwan and Vernon. The audience began to scream in excitement, and that’s when Y/N turned to face the screen and saw the trio on the screen. Y/N was grateful her back was to the audience and hoped people were distracted enough to not notice the panic on her face. 

“So SEVENTEEN is in the house today!”

Y/N remained standing with her back to the audience as if she was admiring them on the screen but in reality was avoiding hundreds of fancams of her reaction being filmed and uploaded to Twitter (nobody calls it X) and Instagram. She watched as they waved to the camera before Seungkwan raised his finger to the camera, gesturing to ask for a second. Confused, she turned back to look at them directly as if she could figure out what was going on better that way. She kept turning her head between the giant screen and there friends who were now standing up from their seats, even Vernon, who was in the middle. Joshua unravelled something in his hands and Seungkwan seemed to be helping him and then they were holding up a banner between the three of them that read, “Our Y/N is so cool!” 

Y/N giggled at their antics as Vernon threw his hands up in the air in jazz hands as Joshua and Seungkwan looked pleased that they could show off their banner. 

“Ah yes, thank you! Thank you!”

Joshua and Seungkwan rustled the banner as if they weren’t quite convinced they had gotten the message across. 

“Thank you, SEVENTEEN. SEVENTEEN is also cool!”

Joshua and Seungkwan looked to be relaxing and Y/N laughed at the relief on Vernon’s face at the thought of being able to lower his arms that must now be aching but then Joshua and Seungkwan nodded at each other and held up the banner higher with a flourish and Vernon tipped his head back and sighed before putting up his jazz hands again.

“I get it. I’m cool. Now stop it. Stop it!”

Joshua gestured as if to ask her if she saw the sign. 

“Yes, I saw it and I appreciate it. Now sit down and let me continue with the show. This isn’t GOING SEVENTEEN.”

Seungkwan showed the okay sign and the trio sat back down. The audience’s laughter slowly teetered to an end. 

“I promise I didn’t bribe them to do that.”

The audience gave a short chuckle at that. The tour producer told her to wrap up and move to the last song in her in-ear. Y/N walked to the chair and the stand mic that was set up in the middle of the stage. She picked up the acoustic guitar that was seated on the chair and sat down. 

“Thank you for joining the Shining tour in Seoul and this is Stripes.” 

Y/N strummed the guitar to play the instrumental opening of the song that started it all. A costume change and a 20-minute encore later, Y/N was in the green room of Taeyang, who’d stayed to watch the rest of the show. She was bowing and thanking him for the nth time for his guest appearance. He wouldn’t be joining her tomorrow as he could only commit to tonight’s show. Y/N gave her final thanks and asked him to let her know if he ever needed her to return the favour and of course if he would like tickets for any of her upcoming shows. 

“I’ll definitely take you up on that offer!”

“Please do, sunbaenim! Just let me know when and where, I would be happy to -”

“Noona! Noona! Where are you?”

Seungkwan’s calls from the corridor caught their ears. Taeyang chuckled and said he would leave her with her guests. Y/N followed Taeyang and his team out of the room and saw Seungkwan a few yards away peeking into her own dressing room. Y/N rushed towards Seungkwan and saw Joshua and Vernon had now also arrived backstage. The boys greeted Taeyang and they spoke briefly before he left to go home. Then, it was just the four of them if you ignored all the staff who were rushing to finish the last of tidying up for the next night so they could get back for some sleep. 

“Wow, you were so cool! So amazing! How do you sing like that?!” 

All three of them said a variation of compliments, exclaiming how much they had enjoyed the show and were blown by the performance. They didn’t linger for long as they could see Y/N was scared. They promised they’ll be back for tomorrow’s performance as well and hugged her goodbye. Joshua hesitated to follow the others and leave. He asked the 98 line to head back first and that he would be there soon. 

“Y/N?” 

She was busy packing up her personal items into her tote bag and looked up briefly to acknowledge she was listening before returning to the task.

“Coups messaged me tonight. He saw that we were at the concert.”

Y/N stilled for a second before forcing herself to keep moving, and continued packing. She knew Joshua had more to say. 

“He knows you’ve got the concert tomorrow night and that you’re flying straight after.”

Y/N put the now packed bag to the side and gave her full attention to Joshua. He looked nervous and uncomfortable. Whatever message he was passing on, Y/N could tell he was worried about her reaction. She could tell where this was going.

“I tried to mention this last night but you … anyways, uhmm, he asked me again if I could pass on a message for him.” Joshua paused when he saw Y/N take a deep breath. She nodded for him to carry on.

“I know it might be too late but I wonder if you too are hoping if we can talk. I know I’m being selfish but whether it’s new beginnings or goodbyes, I think you deserve an apology and I deserve to share my side too … uhm that’s what he said.”

As if to prove it, Joshua held up his KakaoTalk messages for Y/N to read. Y/N saw that he had also asked if he could come to tomorrow night’s concert instead of one of the others, which Joshua hadn’t mentioned, probably assuming she wouldn’t agree to that idea. 

“It’s getting late, you should go home, Josh.”

Joshua nodded but didn’t make a move. He didn’t know whether to push for an answer so he could update his bandmate or leave his friend so she can gather her thoughts and sleep on it. Deciding he had already pushed his luck and it was unfair to ask for more right now, Joshua nodded to himself that leaving now was the right decision. He hugged Y/N from the side since she was facing the mirror and taking off her makeup.

“I’m sorry for springing this on you. I just didn’t want either of you to regret missing the chance. I won’t say anything more on this, okay? Goodnight Y/N, make sure you get home soon, okay.”

He let go of her and walked away. Vernon had closed the door to her dressing room earlier so Joshua twisted the handle and pulled the door open. He saw Vernon and Seungkwan hovering just in the periphery, waiting for him. They were probably guessing about their discussion and most likely had been correct on the topic. 

“Bye, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Josh?” 

He pivoted to face her again with the door still open. 

“I’ll ask for an extra ticket to be left at the door. Good night.” 

Joshua wished his friend goodnight and closed the door behind him. He really hoped that tomorrow would bring a happier outcome for all of them. 

#caratsland #seventeen #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt #s.coups #scoups #choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #s.coups x reader #s.coups fluff #my writing #hello sunset

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

#dusted magazine #listeningpost #kim gordon #the collective #jennifer kelly #jonathan shaw #bill meyer #andrew forell #bryon hayes #tim clarke #christian carey #ian mathers #justin cober-lake

[crazyk-imagine]

Big Time Crush

Pairing: James Diamond x Insecure!Plus size!reader Characters: Insecure!Plus size!reader, Katie Knight, Jennifer “Mama” Knight, James Diamond, Kendall Knight, Carlos Garcia, Hortense “Logan” Mitchell

Briefly mentioned: Camille Roberts, Gustavo Rocque, Kelly Wainwright, Snoop Dog, The Jennifer’s Warnings: Shenanigans, Katie being a sweetheart, the boys doing their best to help James, plans not going the way anyone planned, jerky teens, don’t mess with someone the boys, Katie, and Mama Knight like, the pool is a good place for jerky people to chill in, Mama Knight always manages to find the oddest recipes  Word Count: 4,151

A/N: I honestly have no idea what happened to Dad Knight but we’re gonna pretend that Jennifer and he went through a divorce when the kids were young, and she kept her married last name

Late Christmas gift (fic) for requester @lilacprincessofrecovery​ 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sit beside Katie, Kendall’s little sister, who’s currently working on earning a quick buck or two from the “pool jockies” as you and Camille like to call them. You glance over at her cards and see that she’s close to winning another round of go fish. 

The jockies can’t grasp the basic rules of poker so you came up with a compromise and chose a classic game of go fish. 

You lean over and whisper, “the one across from you has queens and the one to your left has seven.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“I’m right about the queens. You just need one more than the one on your right and you’ll win.” 

“Okay.” 

Thanks to your little tip, she won which none of them liked. 

“If you don’t want to lose, then don’t play,” you advise. 

The one that sits across from Katie scoffs, heading back inside, most likely getting his luggage to go home for winter break. 

“It’s been a while since you had something to eat. Do you want me to get you anything from the snack machine?” 

“I think I’m gonna head inside and go play some video games. You can join me since Kendall’s at the studio, finishing up their latest album.” 

You smile, “alright. Be prepared to lose to the master.” 

“Oh, you’re on. Oh, actually can you get some candy. Mom wants to try this weird candy recipe and I was supposed to ask Kendall, but you know, I was in the zone before he left.” 

You nod, “yeah, sure. Anything specific?” 

“No gummies and no chocolate.” 

“That leaves room for a lot of choices, doesn’t it?” 

She raises her arms, “I’m not the one who made the recipe.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“I’ll wait with you.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“You’re the only other person here besides my brother and his idiot friends who is actually nice to me. My mom also wouldn’t like it if I came up without you.” 

“Aww, who’s a mama’s girl.” You pull out a dollar from your pocket, reaching for your bag when you realize you left it at the table. “Hey, can you do me a quick favor and grab my bag. I want to make sure I get enough for your mom. You’ve got me curious about her future creation.” 

She nods. 

You push the buttons for the candy when a shadow blocks the light, turning you find one of the guys from the game. 

“Hey, chubbs.” 

You furrow your brows, hoping he’ll go away before Katie comes back. 

“Maybe if you didn’t eat all this junk, you’d lose a pound or two.” 

“Just because I’m getting candy, doesn’t mean it’s for me.” 

“Isn’t that what they all say.” 

You furrow your brows, “you don’t have to be a jerk.” 

“You don’t have to be a jerk, cry me a river. Quite eating this crap,” he smacks the item out of your hands. “It’s not for you.” 

You don’t look up, keeping your eyes on the floor. 

“Can’t even look away from it for a second. Pathetic.” 

He walks away when one of his buddies calls him over. 

Katie stands beside you, handing you your bag. “Are you okay?” 

You put a brave face on and nod. “Yep, all good. Now, let’s get your mom the candy so she can get started on it.” 

Katie overheard what the jerk said and wants to make you feel better, but she’s never been good at it. She’s not letting you go back to your apartment until you absolutely have to, no one should be sad or alone during the holidays. Her eyes widen at the amount of candy you got. “Okay. I think we’re more than okay. This is already a lot more than what I planned on getting.” 

“You sure?” 

She nods, “definitely.” She grabs the candy from you and holds it close to her chest. “Let’s go. If she gets started now, she can be done but the time the boys get back.” 

“You guys don’t have any holiday plans?” 

“We did but then everyone canceled so we’re stuck here but now you can hang out with us.” 

“Oh, I can? I feel honored.” 

“My mom loves you.” 

“I’ve only met her once.” 

“And she thought you really nice. Wait, until she hears about you helping me win.” 

You push the elevator close door button, wanting to get to their apartment faster. “Don’t you dare.” 

“She won’t believe me anyway.” 

“Ha!” 

The young girl shakes her head, smiling, feeling proud of herself for bed able to keep you happy… even if it’s only temporary. She has an idea that maybe you don’t actually like what you see. She sees the baggy clothes you wear to hide yourself; it makes more sense with what that jerk told you earlier. “You look nice by the way,” Katie tells you, keeping her attention on the elevator doors. 

“Oh,” you whisper, not expecting her to say that. You glance down at your usual jean and sneaker combo followed by your cute festive, semi tight Christmas holiday shirt with a black jacket to keep you warm. “Thanks. I like your shoes.” 

She smirks, you had given her Christmas shoes laces as a joke not expecting her to wear them of course but here you are. “I know.” 

-

“We’re back,” the child announces, walking into the apartment. 

“Who’s we exactly?” Her mom asks, the last time she tried to get Katie a friend it turned out to be an adult who then stole her car- or rental car, it was a blur after realizing it was a car that was in her possession was stolen. “Oh,” she notices you, standing in the doorway and smiles. “Come on in. I’m so happy it’s you. How are you?” She hugs you, you weakly hug her back. 

The negative thoughts try to enter your mind again. ‘She pities you. Forever the fat pitied girl.’ You give her a weak smile. “We got the last ingredient you needed for your latest creation.” 

“Oh, that’s so sweet but I’m pretty sure my daughter was supposed to tell her brother to get it.” 

“She mentioned something like that, but I figured why not try the vending machine first. Save a few bucks, you know.” 

“I knew I liked you for a reason.” 

“We’re gonna play games.” Katie tries to pull you towards the couch when her mom stops her. 

“Oh no. You promised to help me.” 

“But-” 

“It could be fun.” 

“Don’t side with her, please.” 

“You two could make Christmas cookies.” 

“Oh, yay. I’ve been waiting make some myself but-” ‘She’s gonna think your fat, talking about cookies.’ “I- uh- never found the time.” 

“Let’s make the cookies… from scratch.” 

“I don’t like the look you have on your face, Katie,” you tell the young girl. 

The smile never leaving her face. 

“How about Mrs. Knight and I switch places?” 

“First, it’s Ms. Knight. And no, you two can make the cookies.” She turns to you, “I have faith that you’ll make sure the cookies come out right. Katie just wants to throw flour on you.” 

You nod, “I figured as much.” 

The older woman smiles, patting your arm, “you’re gonna have fun.” 

A nervous chuckle escapes you, “I don’t know.” 

“You will and while you do, I’ll be over there on the couch reading a book.” 

“Fabio?” 

The mother of the apartment says nothing. 

“Have fun with your book.” 

She nods and heads over to the couch, getting comfortable. 

“Alright,” you turn to Katie, “what flavor are we making?” 

“Chocolate chip.” 

“Excellent choice.” You order her to get all of the items and ingredients you’ll need and remind her of the sweet outcome whenever she huffs and puffs. 

“Now can we make the cookies?” 

“Yep, let’s get started.” You tell her which ingredients you need while you do the mixing. 

You two sit and play hangman while you two wait for the cookies to finish cooking. “Seriously? You used the word ambrosia. How was I supposed to guess that?” 

She smirks, “don’t order me around.” 

“Oh,” you shake your head, “you’re evil.” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Of course, you don’t.” The timer on the microwave dings. “I’ll check on the cookies.” 

The boys enter the apartment and slump against the couch, two on each side of Kendall and Katie’s mom. “I smell cookies,” says Carlos, with a confused expression. 

“I do too,” Logan and James add. 

“Mom?” 

“Ask your sister,” she flips another page of her book. 

“Okay, Katie. I-” You scream, almost dropping the hot tray of cookies. “Geez.” You grab a towel and set it on the counter before setting the tray down. 

The boys stare at the tray of heavenly smelling cookies... all except for James, who’s jaw is open as he stares at you. 

Katie sits beside Logan who sits beside her brother, watching this whole thing with amusement. 

‘They think your fat for making cookies... even though they look like they want one.’ You purse your lips at this next thought. ‘They can eat them without the sugar going to their hips.’ You avoid her gaze and turn towards the sink, washing the dishes so Ms. Knight doesn’t have to. 

Carlos and Logan glance at one another, eyes switching between each other and the cookies. 

The brainiac shakes his head, the helmet lover nods; this goes on for a couple of minutes until Carlos reaches for a cookie and hisses. 

“The cookies just came out. You saw her take them out,” Katie points out. 

“But- it’s cookies,” the corndog lover weakly argues. 

“They have to cool.” 

“But I want cookies.” 

You dry your hands on a napkin and slowly turn around. “If I,” you pause when the five turn to give you, their attention. “If I get you some cookies, will you stop trying to grab them off the hot cookie sheet?” 

The boys nod. 

Katie gets out of the chair before you asked her to get you plates. 

You scoop a couple of cookies onto each plate and slide them in front of each boy, not forgetting to give a plate to Katie and her mom. 

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. 

“Don’t you want to try some?” You shake your head with a polite smile, “no, thanks for offering though Katie.” 

She furrows her brows. “But you said-” 

“I- I decided that I’m gonna stop eating so much candy.” 

She knows where you’re going with this and what thoughts are running around your mind. 

“Oh, okay. Well. I’m sure I can whip up something else,” Ms. Knight offers, collecting the boys’ plates. 

You shake your head, “it's- its fine. I should go back to my place.” You walk around the counter, grabbing your bag off the table. “Thank you so much for letting me hangout here.” 

“Do you h-ave to go?” asks James, voice cracking halfway through. “You could- we could hang- hang out?” 

An uncomfortable smile stretches across your lips. “I- I would but, I have to go. Maybe some other time?” You add even though you don’t really mean it, thinking he was just being nice to the “fat” girl. 

“Oh, yeah. Okay, next time.” 

A quiet, “bye” slips past your lips before the door closes shut. 

-

The boys or Katie’s mom didn’t see you much after that day. They couldn’t find you when it was only everyone in the apartment, Kelly, Gustavo, and Snoop Dog who were stuck at the studio. 

Katie wanted to invite you to stay and hangout with them since she knows your family always have plans, leaving you here alone. She was lucky to have found you a few days after everyone came back from break. 

“How was your guy’s Christmas?” you ask her, sitting in the cabana. 

“Not better than yours.” 

“Somehow I don’t believe that.” 

-

Just because the boys haven’t talked to you since you made cookies, doesn’t mean they haven’t seen you. 

Every time James sees you, he forgets everything he was doing or thinking. 

The others always encourage him to try and ask you out (not just because they’re tired of hearing him go on and on about you) but he always gives them some sort of excuse as to why he can’t or shouldn’t making it even weirder because... it’s James. But they see how he is whenever he’s near you and know that he has a big time crush on you. 

-

Kendall pulls together an idea, knowing that you and Katie are hanging out by the pool as usual so naturally he calls, more like yanks, Carlos and Logan with him. 

“Operation: Get James a date is happening today.” 

“Today? Like today-today? We’re not ready,” Logan tells him. 

“It happens and he will get a date with the one person who can get him to use less of his body spray.” 

“How are we gonna do that?” asks Carlos. 

“I’m glad you asked.” 

They rope James into coming over and helping them with their fake plan. 

“Okay, James. I’m gonna be honest with you right now,” Kendall starts. 

“We lied!” Logan blurts out. 

“That’s not what we agreed to do.” The leader smacks the brainiacs shoulder, who whines as he holds his arm. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. He should know. He needs to know what we’re doing here.” 

“What exactly are we doing here?” The pretty boy chimes in. 

“We’re helping you ask out the only nice girl here.” Carlos glances over at the offended duo and sighs, correcting himself. “Who isn’t dating anyone.” 

“What?” James eyes widen. “You’re trying to get me to ask her out?! No. No. No.” 

“You can do it,” Carlos encourages him. 

“It’s all going to be fine,” Kendall pats his shoulder. 

“Take these flowers,” Logan shoves the bundle of flowers into his friends’ hand, “and go find her.” 

James trips, using his hands to put some distance between his face and the floor, not wanting to damage his face; the flowers are a now mess on the floor. 

No one stops to help, only glancing over at him and continuing with their day. 

Luckily for you, you didn’t hear it, the music blasting through your headphones blocking out all and any sounds around you. 

He sighs and pushes himself off the ground with sad and slow movements. 

The other three reach out to comfort him but he continues walking past them and into the pool area since the kids from class were having fun first day of summer pool party. 

“She’s still there,” Logan weakly adds. “This is good.” 

“Let’s go before he floats in the pool, staring into the sun,” Carlos taps his helmet before running outside. 

-

You hide in the cabana, not wanting to see anyone or have anyone see you in the jean shorts, you haven’t worn in what feels like a millennium. You don’t even know why you’re here; you should be in your apartment watching some old romance movie that you find stupid because you haven’t been in love or in a relationship. 

You don’t even know why you left the cabana flap open, maybe it was some kind of subconscious self-torture because all you see when you look at the pool is everyone from class which consist of skinny girls in bikinis. 

Just as you pointed them out to yourself, the Jennifer’s give you a polite wave, something not everyone could get which made your harsh thoughts about yourself make you feel bad for thinking these kinds of things when they’ve been nice to you for almost as long as you’ve known them. Sure, they were a bit rough around the edges when you first met the girls but after helping them when they needed it, they’ve been nothing but kind to you. 

The smile falls from your face as you watch them settle onto the pool lounge chairs. ‘They didn’t need to buy new bathing suits. They didn’t gain anything during the holidays.’ You shake your head, sighing. ‘Don’t focus on that. You look cute too. Your shorts are perfect for your shirt.’ You tug your jacket closer around your torso, half tempted to zip it but deciding not to prevent yourself from overheating. You noticed James lazily floating on one of the bed floaties, staring up at the sky. 

Almost as if he could feel eyes on him, his head rolls to the side; he glances over at you. 

You both freeze, keeping eye contact with one another. You didn’t realize it at first but, you offer a small wave in his direction. 

He returns the slow wave. 

You quickly lower your head, trying to focus on your book. ‘Why’d you even accept their invite to this?’ You bite the inside of your cheek, letting go when the flavor of copper hits your tastebuds. ‘They probably invited you out of the pity. The fat girl friends with a child. They want something to laugh at.’ 

-

Katie draws James’s attention away from you. 

“What?” He asks, with an annoyed tone. 

“Get out of the pool and talk to her. She needs someone to talk to and I can’t do it.” 

“Why not?” 

“My mom wants to me to do something that other kids my age do.” She notices the raised brow and disbelief expression he has on his face. “Whatever that means. Go and talk to her. I’m tired of you not saying anything.” 

“I can’t talk to her,” he stresses the second word as if that would help. 

“You can. It’s easy. She likes music, you’re in a band. Find common ground.” 

“You make it sound like I’m going into battle... I’m not, right?” 

“You are and oh look, we’re here.” She shoves him in front of the cabana, hiding behind one of the oddly placed plants. 

James catches himself before he could trip, glancing back of his shoulder only to find no Katie. He sighs. 

“Hi James.” 

His shoulders tense up, eyes quickly moving onto you. 

“You know my name?” 

‘This isn’t awkward.’ You nod, “kind of hard not to when you’re the newest artist around here.” You purse your lips, since when did talking to others get to be so hard. ‘Have I always sounded like this?’ 

He chuckles, “that- uh- yeah, that makes sense.” 

You gulp before you ask him if he wants to sit in here with you. 

His eyes widen in surprise making you feel bad. 

Did you make him think you hated him because if so, that was not your intentions. 

“Yeah, okay.” He’s quick to walk over towards the unoccupied seat near you. 

-

Kendall and the other two exit the Palm Woods lobby with Carlos munching on whatever caught his interest in the vending machine today. 

“Where could he be?” Logan questions with his hands on his lips. 

This was not like their friend to just disappear for hours on end (even though it had been ten minutes. The debate between snacks Carlos had with himself was absolute hell). 

The boy with the extra accessory points to something in front of him, unable to respond as he continues to munch on his snack of the day. 

“Looks like he doesn’t need any help,” Kendall comments. 

“We can get rid of these costumes then, right?” Logan starts itching his collar bone. 

“After we-” 

“Nope,” the brainiac shakes his head. “Nope, besides Carlos already stained his so, we can’t use these.” 

-

“Are you gonna go into the pool at any point today?” James asks, with an innocent tone. 

“Uh- n- I don’t think I will.” 

“Why not?” 

You say the first thing that pops into your head. “I’m not a big fan of splashing.” 

“We could hangout near a corner... or something.” 

“We?” You turn your head to him. 

He scratches the back of his neck, a nervous chuckle slipping through the small smile he has on his lips. “Uh- yeah. I mean or we could- we could just stay here, if that’s what you want. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

‘If only he knew.’ “Maybe when there’s less people,” you grip the edge of your jacket, further curling it around you. “We could go for a swim,” your voice wavers at the word. 

Almost as if he knows what you’re thinking he offers something else. “Nah, I’ve already been in the sun for too long. I definitely don’t want to become one of those overly tan people, you know.” 

You chuckle, knowing exactly who he’s talking about and sadly, it’s usually the parents of the other kids that live here at the Palm Woods. “Yeah, smart move on your part,” you joke with him. 

The corner of his lip’s twitches, he got you to make a joke. He didn’t think he’d be able to make you smile much less make a joke, the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering faster than ever. 

“Have any of you beaten BTF yet?” 

He furrows his brows, “how do you know about that?” 

“It’s me. Katie gets bored when she beats the pool jockies and we’ve been practicing your guys’ video games so we can beat you.” 

He chuckles, “now that I know that you’re so going down.” 

“I’d like to see you try,” you playfully shove his arm. 

“How can you stand to be near it?” The pool jocky who was being a jerk before Christmas snickers. 

“What?” James asks, not understanding why this guy is being such a jerk to such a nice person. “Just don’t feed her, she’ll never leave if you do.” He turns around, heading towards the pool area feeling very highly of himself. 

Your brows knit together, a sad pout on your lips. “Let’s just go, James.” 

“What?” He spins around, standing in front of you. “No. He doesn’t get to talk to you like that and pretend like he didn’t.” 

“It’s fine. This isn’t something new.” 

“And I’m gonna make sure it doesn’t happen again.” 

You didn’t see anything because Logan and Carlos stop you from following him. “Would you let me at least-” 

“Nope,” the former shakes his head. “Not happening. Kendall and James have got this handled.” 

Carlos nods, “yeah. We just gotta trust them-” 

And then the quick screams of the Jennifer’s and pool splashing causes all of your eyes to widen. 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Logan says, turning you around so your back is to the facing the front desk of the lobby as he avoids your gaze. 

James walks through the open doors, stopping in the doorway, smiling when he sees you and tries to slick his hair back. 

Kendall rolls his eyes, Katie walking up behind the two. “Please stop.” 

The two jump up, hugging one another as they let out a quick scream until they realize who it is and immediately push the other one away from them. 

“You’re fine, she won’t care if your hair is messed up-” 

“It’s messed up?” He asks, reaching for hair. 

“What? No. That’s not important. If I hear you did something to make her cry or anything to hurt, her feelings. You won’t know revenge until it happens to you.” 

A short chuckle slips past your lips as you place a hand on James’s shoulder. “Let’s not threaten people today, Katie.” 

“I’m not, just implying what could happen if he isn’t nice,” she says, a fake smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

“Yeah, I’m not buying that.” You start to push James into the direction of the elevators. You two stare at the doors, unsure of how to talk to one another knowing that he did- whatever it is he did because he cares about you. ‘My stomach feels weird, but I don’t have an upset stomach?’ “Thank you.” 

“It was fun.” 

“Not as much as it’ll be when I kick your butt.” 

“Oh, you’re on.” 

-

Carlos tilts his head, “does anyone smell cookies?” 

“As long as you don’t smell toast, we’re good,” Logan adds. 

“Huh?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Could you two walk any slower,” Katie whines. She opens the door, shaking her head watching the two having fun. She wanders over, leaning over the back of the couch. “Any more BTF?” 

“You know it.” 

“Cookies are done,” Ms. Knight announces, scooping the cookies off the cookie sheet and onto a plate. 

Everyone runs over to the counter, wincing at the temperature. 

“What does BTF mean?” asks James as he breaks a cookie in half offering you the other half. 

You accept, “oh, that.” You chuckle, “it was actually something I use to make fun of Katie but when I tell you, I… will painfully admit that I’m a fan of your guy’s music because it means… big time fan.” 

He leans in. “Can I assume someone here is your favorite member?” 

“Nope, let’s go play some more. I’m so close to getting the scoreboard to be all BTF.”

#big time rush #Big Time Rush fanfic #Big Time Rush Fanfiction #big time rush imagine #big time rush imagines #james diamond #james diamond imagine #james diamond imagines #james diamond fanfic #james diamond fanfiction #james diamond x reader #james diamond x plus size reader #james diamond x plus size!reader #james diamond x insecure reader #james diamond x insecure!reader #james diamond x insecure plus size reader #james diamond x insecure!plus size!reader #crazyk-imagine

[jerrykinoff]

Tommy Cash x Deutsche Bahn - Vice September 2023 interview

translation under the cut

Public transport turned Tommy Cash into a train

We visited the trap wonder child at a shoot and talked about his legendary transformations.

Just a while ago he was strolling barefoot on the gray stone floors of Platform 2 at the Berlin Spandau train station, now his feet are being put in the giant Balenciaga rubber boots. Tommy is sporting an old conductor uniform, tight middle part and two braids plaited up until the very ends of his hair when I intercept him for an interview in between the shoots. We are at the set of a rather bizarre ad shoot for the “Zukunft Nahverkehr” initiative with the slogan #mobilityisahumanride. The trap wonder child is playing the main role in it and with the help of a few spritzes of perfume (“Ö de PNV”, get it?), he transforms into a very delighted S-Bahn train which is dispersing the exhaust gas with taekwondo moves and in which people are feeding each other pickles.

What does this all mean? The future will be better, when we use public transport more often. But it also simply means: We can finally look forward for a full dose of TOMM¥ €A$H, in all of his absurd glory in the form of the ÖPNV ad and the trending reels from Paris Fashion Week, and soon, finally, in the form of a new album. He is working on it every second and is now using every break during the shoot to re-listen to a track with an AirPod in his ear and a smile on his face. This week, he still has two video shoots ahead of him and in November he’s going on a tour with Oliver Tree. They both not only like making music together, they also share a tendency for absolute randomness and creating things which nobody could expect. Like turning yourself into a human train, or, a “human ride”. Or a vagina.

VICE: Hi Tommy. Today you are becoming a train. Could you tell us about your first time, about your first transformation?

Tommy Cash: It was in 2016, back then I dropped a music video in which I became the intimate area of a lady. That’s how it all began and since then I have been turning myself into all sorts of things. 

How did playing a role of a vagina feel?

Oh. It was brilliant. It felt good. 

How did you prepare for it?

I was just being myself.

Are you coming up with all these ideas on your own?

For the most part, yes. I am, so to speak, an orange. You can make juice from oranges, you know? But that entails a lot of different types of work. I could probably press out all the juice by myself, but I like having an input from styling, hair and camera people, etc. when shooting videos. The camera person, for example, knows which shots will look the best and can change things, if needed. But it’s still my juice.

And the juice is tasty. When could we look forward to the new album?

Soon. We are working on it in full swing. Somewhere in December, but the rollout begins soon, during the coming weeks. We should know exactly when around my birthday. My birthday is on November 18th.

Ah, you are a Scorpio. Makes sense. Is there a song on the new album, which you are most excited about?

Yeah, especially some collabs. The track for which we are shooting a music video tomorrow became a kind of a proper anthem. Scandinavian brothers who find each other. I’m really looking forward to playing it live. [Author’s note: the feature with Käärijä “It's Crazy It's Party” came out in the meanwhile and it kicks ass.]

When you’re looking for feature partners, what matters to you the most?

They can’t be too clean, polished. For me, art means being free and taking risks. It’s important to me that we have the same worldview, the same sixth sense. They need to be open, for whatever happens. only then something magical can be created.

Collabs or not, you are in fact taking some risks. Do you have any advice for those, who do not trust themselves that much?

Oh yes: just do it! Don't give a fuck about anything. Stop overthinking. Most people are nice. The percentage of people who will try to discourage you or write nasty comments is very small. It’s fucked to not make something because a couple of people said so. They are only scared of what you can achieve. 

There are very few negative things to be found about you on the internet. I looked extra hard, but the people are simply obsessed with you!

Ah, it should be a love-hate relationship. There always has to be a few people out there who hate you deeply. The most should of course love you. The most important thing is that the people feel something when they see you. 

And you offer them quite a lot too. You dress well, you model, you dance and then of course the music. Is there anything you are bad at?

Tennis. And I was a very bad boyfriend for some time. But I’m working on it now. 

Yeah? How’s that going?

Since then I have been pretty good.

What makes you a good boyfriend?

Time. I think, as time passes,  you learn from your mistakes. It sounds cheesy, but when it comes to relationships, I have already grown up. 

I’m glad. I think we should all work on this in the future. Speaking of the future, or rather about the “art of the future”, NFTs - you already have fingers in the game, correct?

Correct, “me in gold”. Sold for 1,3 million. I only played along because I respect the artists a lot. It was for an art gallery in Estonia. Actually I’m not really into the whole NFT and AI thing. Physical art is more of my thing. I like what people can make, not computers. I find that somehow boring. People teach computers to think like people and then they run on some sort of a god complex. That’s why we, people, are much cooler than computers. I don’t get this “virtual art”. There are other advancements which interest me more. 

Like, for example, the future of mobility? What does it look like for you?

I have thought about this already. I’d like to get a horse and a carriage and use it as my only way of transport. I live in Tallinn. The distance between places there is manageable, it could work. Horses are a greener solution than fossil fuels or lithium batteries. We focus so much on the future, that we often forget what used to already work very well in the past. 

What is public transport like in Tallinn?

It’s pretty good. You can easily get to most places with a tram, trolley or a bus. But there is a lot of construction work going on, the streets are dug over. You can barely get from point A to point B. You need to ride around the whole city. But this does not affect me that much, because I’m a homebody. When I’m not traveling for work, I like staying home and being comfortable. But the people there make an effort to use public transport more. This is good. For the planet. 

Like your horse carriage! I’d like to grill you a bit more about your viral moments at Paris Fashion Week. Which outfits, looks, characters were your favorites? How do you even call it?

So some people call it “performance art”, but i just say “outfit”. Sounds better. My favorites? They are all number one. But I can pick a top three for you: paparazzi, bed and the muscle suit. They really stick to your memory. There are, however, looks which were not posted in full. Even more shocking ones. One time I went naked, but as a lady. I just changed a body part.

I’m asking myself which one. Did it hurt?

No, it’s back to the way it was, so all is good.

That’s reassuring. How do you even come up with these outfits?

Mostly because of boredom. Everyone looks the same at shows. Like mannequins. For us, these events are like masquerades. We want to make them exciting ourselves. At the end of the day, we go to these shows to be seen. Paris Fashion Week wasn’t really Paris Fashion Week, but it was “Tommy’s Fashion Week”because we just appeared everywhere. You could not miss us. That was so fun.

Appearances, album, shoots, releases, tour, …With everything that’s going on with you right now: Are you not crazy stressed?

It’s so stressful, all the time. Sometimes I forget everything and then I’m happy. But most of the time I am only stressed. There is always something I’m working on. And everything happens at the same time.

How do you deal with it? Do you have any tips on how to chill out?

You can’t really chill out fully. I would have to be a guru or a pope to rest on my own. I can’t do that. But I would simply say to try to live more in the moment and don’t forget to have fun. Even if this is something I’m still bad at.

I hope that this too will get better with time for you. That leads us back to the catchphrase “better future” and of course you as a human train. [The producer is standing at the door and pointing at her clock] Tommy, I wish you lots of fun during the rest of the shoot!

#sorry for any mistakes #none of these languages is my native one lol #tommy cash

[roo-bastmoon]

The odds we faced, with FACE

Just as a reminder for the record:

Antis and cult members began systematically targeting Jimin-focused accounts two weeks before his Set Me Free Pt. 2 prerelease, resulting in some key, experienced ARMY getting suspended right when their wisdom and fanbase alerts were needed most.

Ramadan meant that practicing Muslim ARMY could not listen to music during the release time.

The stores ran out of pre-orders multiple times.

Most physicals shipped on time, but some did not. It was a challenge for Target to keep physicals in stock.

We got less than 0.1% radio play, practically nothing in the US at all, it wasn't even a request option for any station that feeds Hot 100.

True OT7s also had On the Street, Smoke Sprite, and People Pt. 2 to support.

Jimin had only 10 uninterrupted days to promote his first solo album. No blame, no shade, I am just saying it's been a challenge for our artists that their timelines are condensed and overlapping like this due to military service.

Fake ARMY boycotted Jimin altogether and came up with bullshit reasons to attack Jimin funders.

Antis dragged Jimin to hell and back online because of a technical in-ears issue that resulted in 10 seconds of a less-than-perfect live encore performance.

Spotify froze streams.

YouTube froze and deleted MILLIONS of streams, not just for Jimin but for all of BTS and ONLY BTS, with no explanation whatsoever.

Other Kpop stans and Jimin-akgaes joined forces to mass vote against him in MCountdown out of pure spite for him topping Hot 100.

His own media began commenting in articles on his inevitable free fall.

The haters also started up again mass-reporting his Insta account to continue his shadow-ban and try to get him suspended.

All that, and Jimin has beat such odds that his success is untouchable.

So I just need to say this...

It has been an exhausting three weeks, filled with extreme highs and lows.

Whatever happens in the charts now, true ARMY worked hard to show Jimin we love him and his work. Nothing will take away the fact that he made history with Hot 100 #1, and won 3 MCountdowns, and raised stocks for Hybe, the Kpop music industry, and South Korea with his solo debut.

All that, and Jimin still made history.

Jimin says he didn't do this for charts or awards, but he got them anyway, and they will forever be proof that true ARMY adore him. So thank you for your hard work.

Whatever happens now for the second and subsequent weeks, everyone reading this can feel peace in their hearts, knowing they will always give their all.

Well done, puppykittes!

Please rest up because we need to ensure FACE has longevity in our playlists going forward and begin doing our due diligence for D-Day, too. And since YouTube is being a word my mother wouldn't want me to say out loud, we need to focus heavily on Pandora in the US and Apple and Spotify everywhere.

Let's get it for chimchim and lil meow meow, y'all!

#jimin #yoongi

[watermelonsugacry]

So I’ve been going through a Little Mix revival lately and when I got to the Glory Days album I couldn’t help but think if bandmember yn helped write some stuff for the girls, the album came out in late 2016 so she would’ve had some time after the break at the start of the year to get involved before heading to Jamaica with H for HS1

first off: as you should

second: she totally did, those girls are her sisters so it was super duper fun to help produce some of their songs. Little Mix was also one of yn's biggest clients (aside from h of course) that she first got hired for as a producer. not to mention how much all the girls live for harmonies

Salute 2013

Move: YN's first song with the girls which she not only helped produced but was featured in.

Weird People 2015

The End: YN wrote about her ex boyfriend she had during 1d and was the first song she produced/vocal arranged in full accapella

Glory Days 2016:

Shout Out To My Ex: just a good ol' poppy break up song that my or may not have been inspired by a certain ex 1d band member

F.U. : not only was yn's pen game was strong on this one -> "A, B, C, D, E, F.U." (um aRE YEH KIDDIN ME?!) but her vocal arrangements for this one was one of her favorites.

Power: it's songs like these that makes yn feel like a badass being surrounded by strong women. AND to have Stormzy (one of her favorite rappers) feature in on it later on was something she crossed off of her bucket list

Beep Beep: the guitar playing in this song was yn

LM5 2018:

Woman Like Me: if this song isn't about yn literally explaining her on and off relationship with H during this time then i don't know what is

Strip: one of yn's favorites (she also made a cameo in the music video, dancing and singing with her step mum, Penny)

Joan of Arc: another song that she helped write that made her feel like a badass. Like while LM was in the recording room singing the bridge and the harmonies for it, yn was on the other side of the glass dancing and hyping them UP. I'm talking up on the couch pressed against the wall, arms in the air, hips swiveling and screaming the lyrics back.

Wasabi: a fun, sassy bop. enough said.

Motive: a song that the LM girls let yn have creative freedom for how the track was going to sound and she really popped OFF

Notice: a sexy bop with a sexy bridge.

The Cure: this was a song she really collaborated with the most with the girls on an intimate level. it has such a powerful message that they all agreed was important to share and an experience they've all lived through being their line of work

Confetti 2020:

Sweet Melodies: yn was mainly in charge of their vocal arrangements for this song

Rendezvous: a song wrote and gave to the girls inspired by her and h's secret relationship before it was exposed.

Bounce Back: a fun, sassy bop #2

Breathe: the song may or may not have a snip bit of harry yelling "hey!"...yeah yn had a blast when the fandom went crazy and claimed that it was him and the LM girls were denying it every chance they got

Since 2010 Masterlist

Taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles 

#harry x 1dbandmember!reader #since 2010 series #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles x you #harry styles #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #little mix #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #famous!yn #famous!reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

[caralara]

I know Louis' your fave so I hope it's okay that I send you this. But recently the blinkers have been coming off for me in regards to Louis. I think I used to have him up on a bit of a pedestal. I just thought he was this really intelligent guy, really aware of social issues and willing to fight for the right thing and be rebellious when necessary. I don't know. I saw things playing out very differently. But unfortunately, lately, I've been seeing a lot of laziness and complacency and a willingness to settle from him. A lot of contradictions as well. Like he gets the anarchist symbol tattooed but doesn't speak out or place his support behind anything substantial. I'm sorry, legalizing weed is his most political stance. And then being seen with the Starbucks cup and actually covering it in the video like lmao. Not knowing what number year your festival is when he supposedly had big dreams for it. I know this is so small but it irks me that he's been going on about playing the guitar for years. And he is yet to bring it on stage for even one song! I know it comes from a place of self-doubt and insecurity no matter how confident he makes himself appear but like he just doesn't help himself. And fans exaggerating and praising every little thing he does as if he isn't just some basic white man does my head in. Sorry I word vomited on you and I know this sounds harsh but I acknowledge it comes from a bitter place where I feel like his potential is just not being met. At the end it's his life and I genuinely hope he doesn't have many regrets later on.

hi babe

I think I am completely in the same situation as you! I might not be triggered by exactly the same things but I’ve been going over and over it for the last couple days asking myself why I’m so annoyed with him right now?? And I think it really is just the disappointment finding out your fave man is after all, just a man.

Like, to me, it feels like he’s been stagnant since early 2023. right now, to me it feels like he’s just on the hunt for the cheap thrill, getting the validation in that he also can pull massive crowds of screaming girls just like he did during 1D (and it isn’t even the actual validation he’s looking for??? Like he still starts yapping every time a man validates him as if it’s so much more important??)

I feel like he lost focus, or energy, or both. You know, you said it!! You know I love Louis to death, he’s my favourite, and genuinely, I don’t blame him. It makes a lot of sense to me. He’s finally proven himself to not be a flop to all the people doubting him. He’s overcome all the obstacles, did LTWT and had massive success with it, way beyond anyone expected, rode that wave, made a second album that proved he’s not a one hit wonder either, an album he actually enjoyed making, and proved his fans liked it, too. And then… it just kind of stagnated. His team made mistakes and miscalculations. Announcing Asia tour so short notice thinking, then cancelling bc it didn’t sell out, handling the announcements horribly, not realising LTWT was massive bc of all the pent up excitement and desire throughout years of a pandemic, the magnetism of it being the first solo world tour. They also didn’t get it when it came to Milano Summer fest vs. AFHF. The 35k sold out bc it was announced many months in advance and it was the last LTWT show - that’s meaningful to fans. It was easily accessible. You can’t translate just the numbers to „it’s bc he’s popular in Italy,“ there’s so many factors at play they ignored, and therefore AFHF Italy only sold 2/3 of tickets, and a lot of these people didn’t even show up (couldn’t, I better say).

For me, FITF felt like he had checked out a little. He’s plateauing. The excitement and irresistible draw he has is largely due to his resilience, his underdog persona he created that allows normal people to identify with him. And there just wasn’t any… growth since early 2023. He‘s also alienated a large part of his fandom with the bbg pushes, and as you know, I still believe it was all part of the bigger plan to end it, but it does feel like he gave up, got comfortable. And it’s not that I blame him for it necessarily?? Like all he’s been through? It makes a lot of sense to me that now he’s achieved all the things people told him he wouldn’t be able to achieve, that now the burn out sets in, that now, the driving energy of spite and wanting to prove himself has run out.

I feel like the jokes of “oh I’m a pothead I can’t remember if it’s the third or fourth edition of my super duper important close to my heart festival project” or “oh yeah sometimes I forget I’m an actual parent and have a kid” are getting old. Like, it doesn’t serve him anymore it feels like? To me it feels like the weed was a coping mechanism that helped him get through hard times, and that’s completely valid, but now it looks like to me it’s holding him back, blurring his genius.

I’m sorry for the rant back to you. I’m deeply upset because Louis is my escape, my happy place, fandom is my comfort, and I feel like it’s slipping through my fingers because it causes me more upset than happiness at this point. The amount of “kill yourself” messages I have gotten over criticising louis for announcing AFHF so short notice is frankly INSANE. Do people not talk to other people in real life?? How do the people around these people that send those messages deal with them in real life?? It’s so upsetting to see how many people feel comfortable typing out these kind of messages and sending them.

I do hope this feeling of mine calms down, and I can go back to just glorifying louis and have him as my comfort place, because I do not like the thoughts I have and the way it makes me feel.

#anon #louis #sorry anon #please be gentle with me #I am just genuinely expressing my feelings #and believe me I am aware that I am judgemental #and have no idea what his life and thoughts etc look like in reality bc I don’t know him at all #but this is my fandom experience #and the way I feel about it atm

[politemagic]

Okay I absolutely adored that fruit salad question, so I'm bringing it to you! Musical fruit salad from your favourite artist, 5 fruit minimum, go go go 💙

oh boy i love this question so much okay okay okay i really couldn't decide if i would rather do sleep token or twenty one pilots... so you will ALSO get two fruit salads!!

my fruits:

strawberry 🍓 <- one of their more popular songs that i would show someone who had never heard of them before blueberry 🫐 <- it may seem like just a little tune, but to me the album would NOT be the same without it melon 🍈 <- she may not be for everybody, but real ones will appreciate these underrated tracks (underratedness was determined by spotify streams not science) kiwi 🥝 <- we're adding a lil something special to this fruit salad. these are songs that are near and dear to me cherry 🍒 <- my personal favorite fruit, so my personal favorite song

sleep token salad:

🍓 The Summoning - it's the song that seems to have really set them on their current trajectory, and it is indeed a fucking BANGER so if i'm trying to get someone into sleep token, this would be my go-to

🫐 DYWTYLM - honestly didn't really like it on my first listen to the album, but on my second go round i could not BELIEVE i ever felt that way. it is so incredibly necessary to the overall album + vessel's journey and i will defend her until my dying breath.

🍈 Drag Me Under & Descending - i really couldn't pick between these two UNDERrated queens get it? get it? i'm so sorry . but there was one morning that i was listening to my sleep token playlist watching the sunrise on my back porch and these songs played back to back and tbh it was a spiritual experience

🥝 Take Me Back to Eden - i actually can't stress enough the personal significance that this song has to me. the line "i don't know what's got its teeth in me / but i'm about to bite back in anger" is in total honesty the thing that motivated me to get the help that i needed during the darkest time in my life. i can't talk about it or i WILL cry

🍒 Aqua Regia & Telomeres - it's my fruit salad so i get to have extra cherries since they're my favorite😌 aqua regia is the baddest bitch in town to me and the guitar solo in telomeres is possibly my favorite part in any st song ever.

twenty one pilots salad:

🍓 Fairly Local - i would have chosen car radio because that was my personal introduction to them, but i think fairly local is more representative of where they are now musically. (but if i was to pick a first album i would def be showing them vessel)

🫐 Neon Gravestones - not sure how universal this is, but most tøp fans i know skip this song on trench but i personally have always loved it. the lyrics are phenomenal, and it's a very powerful song.

🍈 Redecorate & March to the Sea - i couldn't choose just one because i think both of these albums as a whole are underrated (listen. i know that scaled and icy wasn't their best but. those are some fucking bops okay?). whenever i need to have a good cry i listen to self-titled and march to the sea has always been my favorite from that album.

🥝 Trees - seeing them perform trees in concert was a canon event for me. my best friend, who i have known since i was 5 (and was not familiar w them at all), said she had never seen me experience emotions like i did when they performed this song. it makes me so happy that they still end shows with this song, i think its a rite of passage.

🍒 Doubt - honestly, i can't even remember why at this point but this has been my favorite twenty one pilots song since blurryface came out, it's my most played song by them FOR SURE.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING OHHHH I HAD SO MUCH FUN🥰🥰🖤🖤 #i'm so sorry i feel like this is so long but i just. i love them both with my whole heart and i couldn't choose #i have been sucked RIGHT back in by the twenty one pilots renaissance and IM SEEING THEM IN SEPTEMBER??? #listen i may have gotten fucked over by the teeth of god presale (and i'm most definitely not still upset at all about that) #but i GOT those clancy world tour tickets. i was not gonna let ticketmaster get my ass twice in a row. nuh uh no SIR #my partner is also a huge twenty one pilots fan and we've both seen them before but we are SO excited to get to see them together #em's tasty tunes #<- never before has my music tag been so appropriate #em answers! #moonchild-in-blue

[ofthenoseclan]

merry and renko go

OUGHHHHMY GOD OKAY. OKAY YOUVBE MADE A GRAVE MISTAKE IM NOT WELL ABOUT THESE GIRLS. these are my second favourite characters in the entire touhou franchise as a unit and i have LOADS to talk about with them

renko and merry are the main characters of the "zun's music collection" concept records (not counting vol.1 which is standalone). these albums are compilations of rearranged music from the franchise, featured along with original compositions unique to the records. alongside them is a story booklet, and the tracks in the album are composed to convey its narrative through their melody. the stories themselves are written a lot like the script of a radio play, consisting primarily of dialogue between the duo.

set in a near-future setting suffering hard from the impacts of late-stage capitalism, the narrative of the concept records follows these two chuunibyou university students as they muse on daily life in their current society. the albums' stories are pretty much entirely self-contained from the rest of the franchise, making them a great entry point.

the blonde-haired girl is merry hearn (her real given name is maeriberii, which is just a keyboard-smash of katakana zun came up with to sound like an unpronounceable european name, but is ironically pretty hard to actually transliterate), a well-mannered girl who's outspoken, but often anxious and unsure of herself. she has the unique ability to see unexplainable phenomena, travel to other worlds in her dreams, and even bring objects in and out of them. a good chunk of the narrative is spent detailing how these two explore the extent of merry's talents.

to her left is her girlfriend, renko usami, a hyperactive, analytical, and curious woman interested in all things occult. she's extremely precise and accurate at measurements—enough that she can tell the time just from the way the stars are placed in the sky. she encourages merry to delve deeper into testing her abilities partly because she wants to see merry succeed, but partly because she's hopelessly fascinated with her and her powers.

the most enjoyable part to me isn't their dynamic itself though, but how it's used as a catalyst to touch on political satire and discussion of capitalism and consumerism. as i explained above, the future they live in is on the verge of collapse. the details are never explained, as most of our insight into it comes from the duo, who are both probably at least middle class if they're in college, so our information about the state of the world is tinted from the lens of people who aren't as affected as some people might be. but we do know quite a lot—climate collapse has already occurred, and many parts of land are underwater. science has progressed to the point that it's considered "solved", and anything unexplainable by science is swept under the rug by society at large because it's not beneficial for humanity to spend money to research it further. world hunger is paraded around as having been eliminated, but in reality it was likely only fixed because those unable to be fed have passed on. despite the state of the earth, the wage gap continues to increase, and society marches on like usual.

the duo is unsatisfied by the way the education system is built, with science being pitched as a cut-and-dry academic study with no further discovery to be made, so as a form of escapism they set up a two-person school club, the hifuu (sealed secrets) club, and explore paranormal happenings, which often leads to commentary on the state of the world in comparison to the wonderful occurrences they explore.

one of my favourite moments is in the fourth volume, bouyuu toukaidou ~ retrospective 53 minutes, where the pair take a train trip to meet renko's parents. the train runs underground since the ground level it used to travel was flooded, so there's a fake screen projecting what the surroundings used to look like built into the tunnel. at the end of their trip, merry notices a credits sequence displayed and remarks about how ironic it is to replicate a scene of nature that humans wiped out, then take credit for the image. there's all sorts of moments just like this throughout the series that i adore for their message.

another thing about these two is how prominent they are in yuri culture. their relationship is left very much out of the picture in canon, but the fanbase goes absolutely wild for it. it has left its mark on so many yuri authors, with a huge number of them producing doujins for the pairing before breaking out into professional work—some even continuing to release hifuu content after making a name for themselves outside the fandom as well! notable examples being nio nakatani, famous for bloom into you, and iori miyazawa, author of otherside picnic (which even started life as a fanfic starring the hifuu duo, before having their names changed to sorawo and toriko to stay legally distinct). even azuma aya, who illustrated one of the official touhou manga that zun wrote, did a very sweet oneshot featuring the pair which i recommend as a quick read :]

im gonna cut myself off now before i type about them for the rest of the night, but in conclusion: my GOD these bitches gay. good for them! good for them. they will bounce around in my mind until the end of time and they are the driving force of my favourite part of the entire franchise. i owe them my life savings

#touhou #renko usami #maribel hearn #hifuu tag #blub #hydrophone

[afpwestcoast]

Belasco Theater, LA, 12/8/23

I’m often asked why I go to so many Dolls shows. It’s a big question with a complicated answer, but a major factor is the crowds. Most of my closest friends and almost every cool person I know I met at a Dresden Dolls show, and this one continued the trend.

I met Dolly, who had actually responded to a general call on the Facebook group and sent me a birthday card in October. She regaled us with tales of the decade she spent traveling around the country by hopping trains.

We also met Natalie and Julia, a dynamic sister duo. Natalie is a Dolls fan but Julia was tagging along out of solidarity - sisterhood is strong. They were delightful, but Natalie has been saddled with club thumbs, a genetic defect that was common amongst European royalty due to inbreeding. Drawing conclusions from that is left as an exercise to the reader. The venue was larger (~1500) and less intimate (a barrier kept the crowd back from the stage) than the recent run of shows, but the band was better rehearsed and well rested and provided the extra energy needed to overcome these issues. I generally prefer my Dresden Dolls shows with a soupçon of chaos, but watching the band flex their performance chops with virtuosity was inspiring. Annotated Set List:

Good Day

Sex Changes

Gravity

Backstabber

My Alcoholic Friends

Shores of California - Brian said this was the first show they had played within the city limits of LA since 2008, so of course they had to roll this one out.

Mrs. O

Delilah (featuring Veronica Swift)

Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover)

There was a break in the set as Amanda warned that they were about to launch into a bunch of new songs and gave a lengthy explanation of how the Dresden Dolls are fundamentally a live band and need to work things out on stage. “The thing about playing these new songs is like they’re not quite ready, so if they suck a little bit know that we are going to continue to rehearse them and make them suck less.”

Then Brian explained that Amanda was nervous about playing the new songs and was delaying the inevitable by talking, which shamed her into proceeding into the new material, which has, in fact, gotten tighter and better over the past year. The new album is going to be fire.

Mister God - Despite Boyfriend in a Coma being officially dubbed Tom’s New Favorite Song in Orlando, I think this one is actually my new favorite.

Houdini - This is a close second in the New Favorite Song sweepstakes, which is a bit surprising since I typically prefer the bangers to the slower songs, but this one has power.

Whakenewha

Amsterdam (Jacques Brel cover) - Amanda headed up to the balcony for this one, as is tradition.

Another Christmas (Brian on guitar, Amanda on jingle bells) - An original Christmas song that is exactly as sad and depressing as you would expect. At this point there was a medical emergency in the crowd and the house lights came up as they took someone out in a wheelchair. The response from the security team, the band, and the crowd was stellar all around.

Boyfriend in a Coma - This is a “new” song that was actually written 20 years ago and recently resurrected for the new album. It was written about an old boyfriend who almost died, and, coincidentally, Amanda reconnected with him and is dating him again. But she dusted the song off BEFORE reconnecting, in a cosmic coincidence.

The Runner - This is essentially a run-down of Amanda’s dating history in song form.

The Nail featuring the new third member of the Dresden Dolls: Amanda’s new Moog synthesizer.

Coin-Operated Boy - Amanda paused after the first few bars to comment on the harsh transition from The Nail, which is slow and contemplative, and Coin-Op, which is … not.

War Pigs (Black Sabbath cover)

—

Half Jack - It’s traditional to do a long intro that starts minimalist and slowly builds to launch the song, but tonight Brian took it to the next level. After the show I told Amanda if they did a show that was just Half Jack with a 2hr intro I would be here for it. She said that they actually did that at one of the shows they opened for Panic at the Disco! because they were so fed up on that tour.

Girl Anachronism - The original set list had Sing as the closer but Amanda called an audible, which was a solid choice after the medical emergency had drained the energy from the room.

Photo Gallery:

Natalie is a goddamned delight. Despite her … nonstandard thumbs.

Delilah!

The creepy ghost of John Lennon welcomes you to the Internet.

Amsterdam

Dresden Dolls Gothic

What’s a Christmas song without jingle bells?

That’s a wrap!

#dresden dolls #amanda palmer

[tomorrowxtogether]

TOMORROW X TOGETHER On Their First Time Meeting, Performing in Singapore And More

Everything you need to know about K-pop’s Gen Z darlings

Since making their highly anticipated debut in 2019, TOMORROW X TOGETHER has made waves with their energetic, youthful sound and dynamic dance performances. This weekend, the group finally brought their ACT: SWEET MIRAGE tour to Singapore, in their first-ever concert in the city. Below, the band’s five members tell BAZAAR all about their first times, from what made them fall in love with music in the first place to the first impressions their bandmates left on them.

When was the first time you realised you wanted to become singers?

Hueningkai: For the three of us (Soobin, Yeonjun, Hueningkai), it was more or less the same. We took part in music and performance-related club activities in middle school, and would perform during school festivals.

Yeonjun: The experience of being on stage and delivering the song you’ve been working so hard on, having everybody cheer for you—it’s incredible. Nobody can forget that. So from then on, we decided music was what we wanted to do.

Beomgyu: I was really young and was watching a movie called August Rush. The kid in there, played by Freddie Highmore, is really incredible with the guitar. I thought it was so cool, and sooner or later, it was my new dream to become someone who can touch others with music.

Taehyun: I was watching a newly released music video with my sister. The group was SHINee. Watching them sing and dance like that made me want to give it a try, and here I am.

Soobin: Yeah, the idea that it was something we wanted to do just came to us very organically. My parents always loved listening to music in the car, and we also had friends around our age who loved K-pop. We knew that doing music was a possibility and we all took it. I’m glad we did.

Is this your first time in Singapore? What do you love about touring here?

Yeonjun: Yes! We’re here on tour for the first time, and it feels incredible to be here. I know some of our fans here have been waiting for this show for a long while and I just want to make sure they know that we’ve been eagerly awaiting this night as well. We’re really happy to be here.

Taehyun: We keep our eyes and ears out. The best thing about being on tour here in Singapore is definitely the fans. They’re so passionate already. Also, it’s beautiful here. You have the Marina Bay Sands, one of the world’s iconic architectures, and really good food as well. We’re having a great time.

You’re set to be the first K-pop group to headline Lollapalooza. How does it feel?

Beomgyu: You can ask any of us. LOLLAPALOOZA last year was definitely one of the most memorable events of our 2022. The crowds were passionate and so were we. We were reminded yet again of why we love being in music so much. We’re really honoured to be invited back to the festival for the second year in a row, this time as headliner. All I can say is, it’s going to be a fantastic show so you better be there.

Tell us about your latest EP, The Name Chapter: Temptation. Are there any notable firsts on the album?

Hueningkai: I guess one song that we want to draw your ears to is “Happy Fools (feat. Coi Leray).” We all wrote lyrics to Yeonjun’s melody, so in that sense, it’s a very TOMORROW X TOGETHER-ish song. We’re really proud of this one and happy we can work on such good songs together.

What about this latest tour? How does it feel to perform certain songs for the first time?

Soobin: Without revealing too much for any of our fans who want to keep the show a surprise for when they actually get there… I want to say this tour and the songs we’re performing really mark our youth. If you feel that you’re also in your youth right now, you’ll be able to really connect and relate to the songs.

Do you remember the first time you all met one another?

Beomgyu: We’re all going to say the same thing for Yeonjun. We joined the company and he was already “BIGHIT Legendary Trainee Yeonjun Choi” since he was really good at everything. Soobin was really, really tall so he stuck out a lot since we were all young and therefore much shorter than we are now. He always liked to reach out and take care of others. Taehyun had huge eyes, and had random talents like magic tricks. He’s also very smart.

Soobin: Beomgyu was really shy for just one day but we soon found out just how energetic he can be. He really brightens up the mood. Hueningkai was really young, basically a baby but look how he’s grown now.

Lastly, what career firsts are you still looking forward to in the future?

Taehyun: TOMORROW X TOGETHER is just getting started. We have a great team here with incredible trust, synergy, and friendship and I can’t wait to see what else we can achieve together.

Hueningkai: We want to become a group with a unique signature sound that anyone can recognise. I want people to hear our music and immediately know, ‘hey, that’s TOMORROW X TOGETHER.’ I guess we want to become a staple for all youth who are experiencing growing up.

Yeonjun: We’re still here now, but we’ll also be back again sooner than you know. And you won’t be disappointed.

#txt #tomorrow x together #230402 #article #harpers bazaar #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #BAZAAR #ACT SWEET MIRAGE

[sumire-no-nikki]

Hardy Days

January is a month that takes some time to break into like brand new shoes. It always feels longer than it is. It has been a while since I’ve been online properly though for the best reasons. My days have been full. My desk succumbs to entropy just as soon as I’ve tidied it up, my planner is abundant with marks, overflowing with tasks in constant flux. But that just means my hours are well consumed. My days feel very lived in and I’m endlessly thankful for that.

It hasn’t been all work though! I managed to read 4 books so far this month, two of which I would like to mention here. The first book I read is Before We Say Goodbye, which is the fourth book in the Before the Coffee Gets Cold Series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. I think the fourth one is my favorite so far, if not a close second to the first book. This one made me cry so hard it felt like a cardio exercise haha. The fifth book hasn’t been translated yet and I’m too impatient so I went ahead and started it in Japanese. I was just telling a pal how much comfier it is in the original language. I think I will reread the previous books in Japanese as well once I can get ahold of it from Kinokuniya. I’m so excited!

Another book I finished recently is Voices of the Dead by Ambrose Parry. It’s a historical fiction medical/crime novel set in Victorian Edinburgh. It also has hints of angsty romance between the two main characters, and if you know me at all, you know angst is my fuel, my reason for being lmao. But on top of the already very attractive premise, I must say the pervasive question of “am I what I come from or am I what I can become” throughout all the books is such a robust subject that I can never get enough of. I really enjoyed it! Ah, but now I’ve got to wait for the next book (if there is one). I’m pretty hopeful because the ending was set up for a continuation for sure, but you never know. Also, can I just complain about something extremely petty? Why is the fourth book’s spine different from the rest of the series? It’s from the same publisher, the same font is used. But why is the symbol not the same size as the other volumes’ symbols? WHY. Why would they make it not line up properly like that? I’m losing my mind!!

Now, I’m not one for redecorating just because it’s a new year, but I did change up my vinyl corner by switching out the old art with two posters in matching red—one from a Mitski concert way back in 2017, and one poster of Billie Marten’s 2023 album. Two very different eras of my life coming together. Quite poetic now that I think about it.

While on the subject of music, I’ve had Marika Hackman’s new album “Big Sigh” on repeat since it came out. Oh my god it’s so so good. I remember thinking when I first heard it, god, this is like having my guts pulled out of me. The lyrics are so raw I felt like my chest was going to cave in. Even the music conveys such angst and self-sabotage. The one song that struck me the most is the penultimate song called “Please Don’t Be So Kind.” That one really spoke to me. I love it so much I figured out the guitar chords by ear because I badly wanted to play it. (It’s just three chords in slightly different arrangements throughout the song: C/G-D/A-Em7/B. Half-step up tuning or more conveniently with capo on the 1st fret). I haven’t stopped thinking about the album and I don’t think I will ever stop doing so. I feel that my life is made richer by having listened to this body of work. Even though it’s rather depressing, I actually relish that about it. I think I’m at an age now where I can clearly see my emotion outside my body. It’s a place I can visit as I please. I can work through my feelings and then when I’ve done my best with it, I can leave it be. I can experience things as deeply as I want to while having the confidence that I won’t lose myself in it. It’s a very freeing sense of clarity.

Also, this is from a while back now but I got the newest volume of the coffee magazine I’m subscribed to and the coffee sampler they sent for the quarter is stellar. It tasted of peach and orange, it was insane. The sampler had enough for only two espresso double shots but it made such an impact I just have to note it down here. The roaster, A Matter of Concrete, is based in Rotterdam. I might have to pop in there to try more of their coffee one of these days. Oh, but this reminds me that my grinders are due for a cleaning. Right, I’ll have to do that sometime tomorrow. And I’m not looking forward to it because I’m always anxious I’ll fuck up the burrs or put the grinders back all wrong. Also, looking at this photo, I have to polish my espresso machine, don’t I? Oops.

What else have I been up to? I’ve recently reconnected with my best friend from my undergraduate days and it has been such a blessing. We didn’t have a fight or anything. We just drifted apart because I moved away for my MA and they went back home for a job offer. But they reached out to let me know they’ll be moving to Europe to start a second degree and a career change!! Which means we will be able to see each other again!! Oh, I’m looking forward to that so much I’m counting the days. I have such fond memories of them I can’t wait to bear hug the hell out of them haha.

I also finally decided to finish a writing project I have left alone to stew in its own unfinished mess for far too long lol. I forced myself to churn as much words as I could, and then the arduous task of negotiating what to keep, what to expand and what to cut came soon after. I’ve since finished it and I’m relieved to have concluded that story. I’m quite satisfied with the arc. It felt like a good study of how I write, what I want from a story and how I can achieve it. Writing is a process of self discovery and I’m always overwhelmed by that feeling when it’s happening in real time. Like you feel minute parts of yourself shifting into new positions, light shed in previously dark corners. It’s overwhelming and terrifying, yet tranquil and natural at the same time. I look forward to whatever I’ll find in the next writing project.

Anyway, I’m off to do a bit of translation work. It has been quite an eventful Friday for me over here, and my weekend is looking like it will be just as busy. How has your January been? I hope you’ve been taking good care of yourself. I leave you with a song by This Is The Kit called “Inside Outside.” It has a groovy bass line that I enjoy playing and straight up just vibing to. I recommend the album it's from if you’re in the market for something new to listen to.

That’s all for now. Until next time!

#diary #sumire-no-nikki

[sweetbuckybarnes]

mirrorball

Pairings: Colin Bridgerton + Penelope Featherington

Summary: Penelope has always tried to please other people, especially her mother. She has never felt seen by the other people of the ton. Apart from the Bridgertons, she always felt seen by them.

Masterlist | Albums | folklore Album

Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes. Spinnin' in my highest heels, love, Shinin' just for you.

Penelope knew she was a people pleaser; she had been since childhood. She would try to show her parents what she was doing, in the hope of their approval – but she never got it. She was always overlooked, her sisters Philippa and Prudence always ‘outshone her’ even with their awful singing, or how they could never play the pianoforte.

So, Penelope found herself being pushed to the side, she found comfort in the books her father brought back for her. She would lounge on the long chair by the window, warming herself up like a cat and most likely rereading a book.

She didn’t want to make her debut into society, she had hoped that if she persuaded her mother enough, she could push it to the next season. But in her mother’s words, what if an eligible bachelor wanted to marry Penelope, he may not be interested in her next season. Something fluttered in Penelope, but was quickly crushed when her mother utter, “But why would anyone do that?”

Penelope had never thought of herself as ‘beautiful’, especially when she has her mother, her older sisters and for the time Marina telling her she wasn’t. If you tell someone they aren’t beautiful enough; they’ll soon believe it.

Especially with all the men who came calling to just catch a glimpse of Marina. Penelope just resigned herself to sitting on the floor playing with the dog one of the men brought for Marina as a gift – with Marina being allergic, her mother had allowed her to keep the dog.

Whilst Marina was staying with them, she hammered those thoughts in that she didn’t think any man would ever look her way.

Not even Colin Bridgerton.

What would her best friend’s brother see in her?

That had caused her to silently cry into her pillow for about a week.

She had always loved the Bridgertons, they had considered her as another member of the family. Violet always made sure that Penelope wasn’t hidden away on the sidelines. The only person who danced with her without being prompted was the Duke of Hastings. Daphne’s now husband.

In a way, she liked that the Duke had done that. He had sought her out by himself, without being asked, and offered her his hand for a dance.

Her mother had always wanted one of her girls to marry into the Bridgerton clan. The Bridgertons were more powerful than the Featheringtons, she would be able to tell anyone who would listen to her (not that they had much of a choice… she always made herself known in a room), that one of her daughters married into the most powerful family of the ton.

Benedict always flirted with her; she would often just brush him off. But as her first two seasons flew past her with not a marriage proposal in sight. As she began her third season, she began to flirt back with the second Bridgerton son – but they both knew it wouldn’t progress further than that.

Eloise had been glued to Penelope’s side since that day in April after Penelope accidentally knocked Colin off his horse.

Colin Bridgerton.

The bachelor who encouraged her in the marriage mart, and as she was courted by Lord Debling – Colin came to realise that she had been standing in front of him waiting for him to notice her.

And it was nearly too late.

Colin pulled Penelope out into the garden, once he caught wind that Lord Debling would be proposing, he knew his window would be closing. Rapidly.

“Colin? What on earth are you doing?”

“You can’t marry him.”

Penelope blinked repeatedly, looking up at the third Bridgerton. “I’m sorry?”

“Lord Debling. He’s planning on proposing-”

She nodded her head. “Well, that is what’s expected. Considering we are courting, that would be the next expected step.”

Colin stared down at her. “No. You can’t marry him, Pen.”

“And whyever not?”

Colin sighs, Penelope raises an eyebrow at him as she waited for him to continue.

“Because I love you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do. Pen, I do love you.”

Penelope scoffed and spun around on her heel. “No, you don’t. You don’t suddenly realise that you love me as another man plans to make me his wife. This was the whole plan, that you would help me in the marriage mart.”

“Not if it meant losing you,” Colin said, taking a few steps forward so he could rest a hand on her cheek.

Penelope stared up at Colin. “We both knew this. But, I’m Eloise’s friend, I’ll always be there; but we wouldn’t be friends anymore…”

Because I'm a mirrorball, I'm a mirrorball. And I'll show you every version of yourself tonight.

#polin #polin fic #colin x pen #pen x colin #penelope x colin #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope bridgerton #portia featherington #prudence featherington #philippa featherington #Archibald Featherington #violet bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #lord debling #Spotify