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cutegirlmayra · 3 years

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May I request cute Tails and Amy friendship? You can choose which version just them being cute friends? Maybe they defend each other when someone tries to mess with them? Love your writing

Watch 18:19 of Pajama Blogs - Prompt Requests - Ep 1 for juicy first thoughts on this prompts! (I may divert away from it, but we’ll see :3c)

Thank you so much! I try hard to stay pumped with energy so that I can give you all reading material during these trying times, lol. So let’s hope and press our hands together in a prayer that I’ll entertain, satisfy, and bring joyful feels to everyone through my prompts and fanfiction updates :Db

Prompt:

“Still working on that observatory, eh, Tails?”

As Tails was about to hammer in on his half-finished ‘dome-effect’ he wanted for his upper-level room, he blinked a moment at the familiar voice and excitedly looked down.

“Amy!”

“The one and only.” She winked, grinning widely.

He had managed to get half the curve of the wall done, a dark, steel grey for it’s base color as it held a half-finished walled hole where the large glass would be for viewing the stars. He would insert a self-made telescope between there, and design a way to bring the view as though a holographic light performance right into his ‘black room’ when he wanted to personally ‘sit among the stars’.

“Permission to come aboard, captain?” Amy joked, placing a hand on the ladder and saluting him.

Tails’s twin namesakes wagged in joy, smiling and closing his eyes as he nodded, “Permission always granted! B-but be careful of the rickety-”

“Ah!” the ladder seemed to tilt as a piece of metal began to bend.

“Amy!” he was about to fly down but she summoned her hammer, wedging it into the place where the metal was bending.

“Phew~” she sighed out in relief, having some sweat trickle down the side of her face before climbing up again.

She removed her hammer and used it to place the metal back into the proper alignment again. “You might have given me permission, but did you consult your ship on that decision?”

The two laughed.

“Sorry about that. Everything is still a work in progress, and honestly, it’s kinda revolutionary if this actually works.” Tails scratched behind his head, then explained how new this technology and optical illusion trick really was.

“Yeah,... kinda amazing, Tails.” Amy admired the work already done to give Tails a space to mediate and enjoy the nature of wonderful night sky above him. “I remember when I first met you, that the dark used to be such a scary thing for ya.” She kid, looking to him kindly but nudging him with a tease.

He blushed slightly, looking away, “Well... then you and Sonic showed me how beautiful it was! A-an-and besides that, I’m too old for a night light.” he tried to seem so mature... but that pout made it obvious he just didn’t want to be looked down upon.

“Right. So a big sky-show isn’t the same thing?” She looked over to see he had already marked a place with some cushions, a reading-outlet to the side of the wall imbedded in with a shelf for the books, and a big fuzzy blanket. The tape read: Second Bed.

It all made her smile, “What a lovely little R&R space...” she lowered her eyes, wondering if he still got lonely like she did... and this was his way of coping.

He lived far away from the city, and although Amy lived down a winding road, she would visit the city often enough for groceries and other fun shopping sprees.

What did boys do to occupy their time?

“Heh, I wouldn’t say a 3D projected model of a precisely positioned magnifying glass and hyperized telescope make for a sky-light.” he tried to defend himself, and it was rather cute to Amy.

“Well, I bet Sonic’ll love to bunk here more often.”

The tone suddenly shifted as Amy and Tails both looked down, away from the other.

“Have you... heard from him lately?” Amy asked, almost worried that she already knew the answer to that question.

“No.” Tails sighed out, before dramatically leaning back and letting his head fall back on his shoulders, “Not since Eggman last showed up.”

“Yeah... he’s been rushing off more and more lately on some daring-dos that apparently don’t require any of us to come along...”

There was a quiet somberness...

“Yeahhhh...” Tails once again leaned properly back in place and dipped his head, scratching it softly...

He seemed friend-sick... and as Amy observed him more, he even looked starved for conversation.

“Hmph!” She puffed up the side of her cheek, “Well, we’ll have to give him the ol’silent treatment when he gets back this time too! Serve him right for all those times he’s left us behind on all the fun!” Amy rambled off, but Tails perked up a bit, looking over to her with a slight turn of his lowered head.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! Just you wait! He’ll come back ready to tell us all his cool stunts on his new latest adventure, and we’ll be just chatting it up about your awesome star project!” She posed with her arm out and her hand upon her muscle, as though Rosy the Riveter. “That means we should wrap this little project of love up and really see what it’s made of!”

“Y-you mean it?” Tails looked thrilled by her offer. “I-I mean, if it’s not too much trouble... I could use your hammer for a few things.” He looked down at the metal that had bent out of place. “You’re strong arm means I could patch the rest of this in one hammer hit! It’ll remain sturdy if you’re strength! Ah...! Sorry!” he looked back over and saw Amy frowning embarrassedly, pushing her fingers together. He wagged his arms out to the side of her, apologetically. “I forgot... how you sometimes take the praise for your strength a little...” he felt awkward now, seeing her begin her usual spiel.

“But I’m... elegant... A-and lady-like when I do it... right?” She looked over to him as though pleading for his approval.

“O-O-of course, you are! I-I even remember Sonic saying something about it! Your hammer is super cute and only adds to your-! Uhh... c-charms!” Tails bundled his fists up and started shaking them profusely around, not sure how to convince her a ‘giant hammer’ was somehow ‘girlish’ but he did his best. “And besides, I don’t care what anyone else says, Amy! You’re super useful thanks to your strength! Just like I am with my brains.”

He was so determined to succeed in cheering her up that Amy couldn’t bear to disappoint him.

She took in a deep breath and got over herself, straightening up. “Yeah... well, I have to be strong, to look after and protect you and the others.” She ruffled up his hair and he laughed lightly, slightly moving away from her touch as a brother would to his older sister.

“I’m sorry that you’re sensitive to that.” He admitted, “You really are super cool when you hit a robot miles away!”

She flinched.

“I-I-I meant that in a good way!” he shook his hands out again, “Honest!”

Amy just laughed, “I can cook too, you know. Why don’t we finish building this thing and then I’ll make us something good to eat. We can turn it off with some smores and maybe crackers or something too later tonight!” Amy’s usual optimism was restored and Tails immediately caught on to it’s wave.

“Woah! You mean it! T-that could take all day...” His ears lowered just slightly.

“Pfft!” Amy turned with a proud look upon her face, placing one hand to her hip as she sat off the edge with him and then slammed her hand to the top of his head again, making him flatten slightly as he was sitting slightly on his knees. He looked uncomfortable, like her force had made him do an unwilling ‘split’ sort of with his knees being parted and he looked as though in strained pain. “Think nothing of it, Tails! As you said before, my hammer strikes are good on one blow! We’ll have this done in no time, so..? Can I stay the night?”

He continued to flinch and twitch in the pain, “S-sur-sure, I-I-I don’t mind... mmm...” he had a small tear forming at the right of his eye.

A few hours passed as the two worked hard, and finally, the dome was done and the telescope he had already completed for the room was successfully moved up to the upper-room... with a lot of back-strain and power from the two working together. Tails had to really test his twin-propelling tails’s weight limit on how fast they could twirl to lift something, and Amy’s powerful arms and back were put to their ultimate test as well!

But somehow, the two worked great together, though bickered and taunted the other at times...

“You can fly higher than that, Tails!”, “D-don’t act like I’m the only one lifting my weight here!”, “AH! What is that supposed to mean!? I’m as light as a feather! And this is... nothing... compared... to what I can lift!”, “Then push harder!”, “You fly harder!”, They both ‘ggrr’d and finally got the massive telescope up that ladder...

When everything was set up, Amy put on a movie for Tails to rest and started cooking up some dinner. She wanted to leave room for the late-night snacks, and coming back in, noticed Tails wasn’t watching the television.

“Huh?” She looked up the ladder to the room and smiled, seeing the computer light on as he must have been programming the telescope and other functions. “He works so hard... he must be excited to show it off to Sonic.” she felt a slight bit of envy. She sighed, “Not like girls and guys can have that strong of a bond... botherhood and sisterhoods are really exclusive, huh?” she frowned, not liking the idea that she could never be as close to Sonic or Tails as the other was with them.

She called down Tails though, and they had a nice dinner together, complimenting their success as Tails hoped it would all work, but Amy told him not to worry.

“You’re incredibly good at designing these technological masterpieces, Tails.” Amy scolded him for about to open his mouth to answer with food in it, and seeing her hand raised and her eyes closed while one opened slightly, he chewed and swallowed before continuing.

“W-well, that doesn’t mean that their isn’t going to be some error on my part involved...”

“I’m sure Sonic will love it. I know I’m excited to see it.” She picked up his finished plate, going to wash them and as she removed her apron...

“Sonic? I was building this for us to view it together, tonight.”

Her face shot up, touched.

Her heart seemed to rise up as though being elevated to a status it thought unattainable.

“R-really?” She always had felt a distance between the boys, and found it just seemed easier and less forced when interacting with Cream... but Cream was still so young too. She loved picking flowers! Don’t get her wrong! She had just gotten really, really good at making flower crowns for so... long...

She placed her apron that she had borrowed from him down, planning to wash it if needs be as well, but turned back to Tails.

He didn’t seem to notice how much that meant to her, already wiping his hands on his white fluff like he would if he was greased up in oil or gunk stains from working on his pet-projects like the X-Tornado and this Observatory. She puffed up her cheek, “I still need to teach you proper manners, huh?” she whispered under her breath, but smiled and touched her heart.

He was already racing up the ladder, and she immediately went into mother mode.

“Ah! Tails! D-don’t move so fast after eating!” she reached a hand up but he called down to her.

“Bring up the treats! I think it’s loaded all the settings in by now! ... Yeah! Yeah it has!”

His excited voice sprang her into an excitement, “W-well, hold on! I’m coming!” It was like he just called out that the fireworks were gonna start...

She rushed through the cleaning and threw the plates into the dishwater, a little rougher than she usually would like to and washed herself up before charging up the ladder. “Don’t let it start without me!”

“Hurry!” Tails called, and she immediately started to leap passed rings on the ladder to just reach out and jump pass a few steps.

“I’m here!” her quills looked a mess as she clung to the edge of the room, Tails rushing over and helping her up as she huffed and puffed in her strain to get there in time.

“Haha, and you tell me not to rush.” He teased her back.

“Hmph.” she blew up her bottom bang of the three quills on her forehead and then smiled to him, cheekily, “If I get stomach cramps, I’m blaming you!”

“Over here!” He laughed a moment at her response but was too excited to show her what he had set up.

“Ah... Tails...” Amy felt so important and loved then, seeing he had taken the large fuzzy blanket and got in it, opening a space for her to join him.

“S-sorry, is this too... um... close?” He squinted an eye, lowering his arm that was gesturing for her to intimately cuddle up within it and watch the show together.

She shook her head, holding back tears and hoping to not confuse him. “Absolutely! I-I mean, it’s perfect! Don’t change a thing!” she crawled down and got into the blanket, taking the other side as she felt Tails bouncing in his seat.

“Okay, good. Three... two... one... Ehem,” he cleared his throat, like a child about to press ‘liftoff’ on a rocket. “Computer! Activate Spatial Definity Mock 5 Advanced Overhead Project 3.2.7.”

Amy blinked her eyes rapidly at such a long line...

“What? You couldn’t have called it, Sky-light?” she teased again, “For nightlight?”

“Quit it...” He nudged her lightly, embarrassed she kept teasing him on that one. “It sounds cooler this way... and it reminds me how long it took to set up the program and make it run right. I haven’t tested this final version yet, so SDM5AOP 3.2.7 is a perfect name for-!”

“O-okay, as long as it makes sense to you.” she decided not to question it.

The whirling of a computer was heard and the two waited anxiously for the results...

“It has to take a second to go through all it’s processing. Lots of... kinda like doors to hurdle through and collect data for.” He explained.

“...Do you... wish Sonic were here instead of me?” she looked away from him for a moment. “I mean... not that you would have a preference b-b-but...” she thought this was a bad, killing the mood he had tried to set up and wish she didn’t say anything. “Nevermind.”

“No, I think you’ll appreciate it more than he will.”

She felt that ranking skyrocket again, as though her tiny significance in life was suddenly bumped up again to a higher sphere of importance in this little fox boy’s life.

“W-... What makes you say that?” she was trying so hard to hide the sparkles in her eyes, but her quivering voice gave away how happy she was to hear that. No, not happy, overjoyed to know she was considered such a special friend to him.

“You actually helped me complete it!” He spread his arms out as the first little light formed in the blackened room.

“Ah!” Amy saw it first, marveling as it faded and then grew brighter and brighter to show the actual dimensions of the star that was currently in the sky, or at least, the radiance of it.

She marveled as he continued to talk, not noticing multiple other little constellations starting to form over his literal head and scattered all throughout the room. Accurate and pronounced, their distance was a miniature diorama of the actual space of the universe...

“I knew you’d want to see it... I’m sure he would too, but Sonic would rather be in the stars then just viewing them... though he does all the time. Heh, I guess you’ll be able to brag about how you were the first to see it! I-if it works or not... It’s still a longshot, s-so... don’t get your hopes up too hig-”

His face was yanked towards the direction of the star, then Amy started shaking his arm. “Ah-AH-AHHHH!!!” she freaked out as a very distinct cosmic entity was defined in the space.

“AH-! AHHH!! IT ACTUALLY WORKS!” Tails flipped out as they both cried out-

“EARTH!”

Then, one after another...

“The Milky Way!”, “It’s the galaxy from Chris’s world... and look! Here’s our constellations!”, “Ohhh! It’s our solar system! Ahhh! It’s so bright!”

“...Do you think Cosmos seeds found good land to grow on?”

The two suddenly stopped gawking...

Amy couldn’t even look to him, and him the same.

Instead, she scooted closer to him in the blanket, felt his tails solemnly wrap around her for support and comfort, and placed her arm to his opposite shoulder to pull him into the gap of her neck.

He laid his head on her shoulder, tearing up.

“Is... is that why you made all of this?” Amy’s heart tugged on her vocal chords, making them choke slightly.

“...Yeah.” he admitted. “If this was Sonic, I don’t think he’d be willing to talk about it... not like you.” he looked down a moment.

“No, don’t look down.” Amy’s voice plucked up an octave. “Look at your amazing work, Tails. Look at how vast... how beautiful the universe is... I’m sure you’ll see evidence of Cosmo’s seed blooming all over the place. You know why?”

She ducked her gaze down slightly, moving her head to make sure she didn’t obstruct his view.

He smiled lightly through his tears.

“Because life never quits, that’s why!” She pulled him into a half-hug and continued to snuggle up in the blanket. “Hehe, because Cosmo would want you to look at these stars and know that she’s everywhere. Smiling just as brightly as any of these ol’stars and wishing you the best forever!”

She felt his shoulders bounce a little...

She knew Sonic would have done an alright job if he were here too, but...

She was so glad...

Holding him and tucking him in better into the blanket...

That she was the one he shared this whole project with.

That she was the one... who could dry his tears tonight.

-Author: And now I cry, wow, hands slapped together in a prayer really did wonders for myself in this prompt, how about you? lolol To those of you who actually did the gesture and wished me the best, this one’s for you.

#amy and tails #amy prompt #tails prompt #miles tails prower #amy rose #sonic x #cosmo #tailsxcosmo #cutegirlmayra #sonic x prompt #sonic prompt #cosmo the seedrian #cosmo prompt #tailsmo

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fuyupeach · 4 years

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In The Works // Ryuji Sakamoto x Reader - Chapter 9

(really) long time no see!! i hope you're all doing well and staying safe!! i'm doing my best trying to get through this fall semester, and playing among us with friends is really fun! i hope you all enjoy this chapter, it ends a little abruptly but i don't think it's a bad place to stop since i really wanted to update! hopefully the next chapter will be out soon! thank you all so much for the support!! <3

The air smells faintly of curry, coffee overpowering its scent as you walk into Le Blanc. Looking easily to the left you see Akira, Ann, and Ryuji seated at one of the many booths, each waving once they see you.

“Welcome.” An older unknown voice greets you, an old man with glasses and a beard behind the counter. “One of Akira’s friends?”

“Yes,” you reply, still facing him as you slide into the booth next to Ryuji. “It’s nice to meet you.” You supply an awkward smile.

“No need to be nervous around me,” Sojiro smiles, turning to wipe freshly washed cups down. “Do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t interfere with my business.”

“That’s Sojiro for ya.” Ryuji catches your attention, lowering his voice as he looks at Akira. “So, we’re obviously all here because.. you-know-what.”

A cat pops up from Akira’s bag, seemingly sneering at Ryuji before it...talked..

“How do we know we can trust her?” Oddly enough, the voice sounded quite familiar to one very annoying creature that looked like a cat all that time ago.

“Morgana?” Your face scrunches up. Great.. You roll your eyes. “I can promise your secret will be safe with me. And it’s not like you won’t see me almost everyday at school.”

“I trust her.” Akira speaks up, pushing Morgana back into his bag and from sight.

“Me too.” Ann nods. “We’ve known her for a while, can’t imagine not trusting her.” She motions between her and Ryuji. It was true and common knowledge to you, but the statement still gave you comfort.

“Meeting adjourned then.” Akira gives you a small smile. “Anyone want drinks?”

------

Much hadn’t changed, if you were being honest. It was easier to have more company around you than just Ryuji, your transportation routine aligning with everyone else’s. You’re standing next to Ann on the morning train to Shujin when you decide to bring up Kamoshida. You had talked to Ryuji, but you knew Ann was just as affected, even more so with Shiho leaving. You may not talk with Ann as much as you two had in the past, but you wanted to try and change that.

“How are you feeling?” You ask quietly. “With… I know it isn’t the best place to talk but we haven’t had many chances to talk alone. ” you gesture awkwardly with your hands, but Ann seems to understand just fine, a bit of a shadow crossing over her face.

“I…” She sighs, tugging at the end of one of her pigtails. “I’m getting by. It’s a little weird being able to walk down the halls and not worry about having to avoid that asshole. It irritates me that he has that impact on me, despite his apology.”

Your eyebrows furrow, but you stay silent, letting her know you’re listening as you stand next to her. You weren’t sure if she needed a hug, but maybe you could ask her later. For now, you just listen.

“I know Shiho leaving will be for the best, but I’ll still miss her. It’ll be a little different, but I just gotta tell myself that we’ll both be growing stronger in our own ways.” Ann finishes, looking back up at you with a small smile on her face. “Thanks for asking, ___. I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” You smile back, reaching for her hand and giving it a small squeeze. “We may not have been able to talk much before, but I’m totally here for you. I’d love to be close like we were before.”

“Me too.” Ann squeezes your hand back. “We should totally go out to this crepe stand I LOVE. And if you want, I’d love some updates on the Ryuji situation.” She winks.

“Ann!” You whisper, slapping her arm gently, eyes darting over to an unsuspecting Ryuji a few feet away. Akira seems to have heard it though, a small smile tugging his lips upward, Morgana’s eyes poking out of his bag, full or mirth. Goddammit. Whatever. Despite your thoughts your heart still races.

That had been the beginning of your assistance with the phantom thieves, though nothing much had happened for a good while after Kamoshida. You had gotten closer with Akira and Ann, sometimes even Morgana on his good days (he was still on thin ice). You helped out however you could, getting drinks from the vending machines and convenience stores when you could for their trips to Mementos, being there during their meetings, keeping a low radar.

It wasn’t until one morning on the train to school that things had begun to pick up again.

You’re standing next to Ryuji as you both talk to Akira, waiting for Ann to show up, a yawn leaving your lips. You never were a morning person.

Ryuji yawns next to you, mumbling. “So sleepy… I ended up pullin’ an all-nighter once I realized today’s the last day of exams.”

“You? Staying up studying?” Morgana asks in disbelief.

“Nah, I gave up on the exam.” Ryuji states. “I was playin’ some games, then before I knew it, it was morning.”

“You’re failing for sure.” Akira adjusts his glasses.

“I tried to get him to study,” You sigh. “You’re lucky you have such a great friend that’ll let you study her notes on the way to class.” Ryuji smiles at you as Ann arrives, also yawning.

“Morning! ..Huh?” Ann looks behind her suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Akira asks, taking the question right from your mouth.

“What, you see a groper or something?” Ryuji asks as well.

Ann turns back around to face you, twirling one of her pigtails. “No, that’s not it. It’s… nothing.”

You continue to be concerned, standing next to Ann as you all get on the train. Not long after you all get off at the designated station, Ann still subtly looking around her. Everything seems fine until she turns back around while you’re all on the escalator out, gasping.

“Oh my god, that guy got off! Isn’t this bad?”

“What guy?” you ask, immediately trying to spot who she was referring to.

Akira’s eyebrows furrow while Ryuji lets out another yawn next to you, lifting his arms. You try to ignore the flutter in your stomach as he seems closer than before.

“Hey! At least act like you care!” Ann pouts. Ryuji scratches his head as he sighs, moving up the escalator.

“Fine. Come on.” The three of you follow him.

You stick with Ann while Ryuji and Akira hide not too far, standing open in the city square. It doesn’t take long to hear footsteps that grow closer to you, keys subtly jingling with each step the guy took. You wait until it gets too close, turning around to see a pale hand reaching out to the both of you. Looking up, the guy is actually quite cute, dark blue hair almost completely covering one of his eyes. He would be if he wasn’t stalking your friend. Ryuji and Akira step in front of the both of your, intimidation on their faces. The boy tilts his head in confusion. Ryuji and Akira also glance him up and down, Ryuji turning to Ann with a doubtful expression.

“Hey, uh… Are you sure that’s him or are you just that self-conscious.” Ryuji asks.

“Urgh, I’m not that--” Ann starts before the stranger interrupts.

“Is there something you want?”

Ann pushes past Ryuji, you following a little bit behind. “That’s my line! You were the one stalking me!” She points.

“Stalking you..? That’s outrageous.”

“I know you’ve been following me! Ever since the train!”

“That’s because…”

And as if the situation couldn’t get any more comical, a black car pulls up, honking at you all. The backseat window rolls down, an old man in a green yukata laughing as he says this is where the stranger’s passion had led. What was going on…?

“I saw you both from the car… and I couldn’t help myself from chasing you.” The boy starts, turning his eyes to you as well. “I didn’t even notice the calls from sensei… But thank goodness I caught up to you.”

“Huh?” You couldn’t help but let out.

“OK…” Ann trails off.

“What?” Ryuji scratches his head again.

“You are the women I’ve been searching for all this time! Please, won’t you--”

“W-wait a minute, I--” Ann starts.

“Be the models for my next art piece?” The boy finishes.

All you can do is blink. This was already a tiring morning.

#ryuji sakamoto x reader #ryuji x reader #persona 5 x reader #peach writes

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iwanthermidnightz · 4 years

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“Not a shot. Not a single chance. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.”

Taylor Swift — who, at 30, has reached a Zen state of cheerful realism — laughs as she leans into a pillow she’s placed over her crossed legs inside her suite at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, leaning further still into her infinitesimal odds of winning a Golden Globe, which will zero out when she heads down to the televised ball in a few hours.

Never mind whether or not the tune she co-wrote, “Beautiful Ghosts,” might actually have been worthy of a trophy for best original song (or shortlisted for an Oscar, which it was not). Since the Globe nominations were revealed, voters could hardly have been immune to how quickly the film it’s a part of, “Cats,” in which she also co-stars, became a whipping boy for jokes about costly Hollywood miscalculations and creative disasters. Not that you’ll hear Swift utter a discouraging word about it all. “I’m happy to be here, happy to be nominated, and I had a really great time working on that weird-ass movie,” she declares. “I’m not gonna retroactively decide that it wasn’t the best experience. I never would have met Andrew Lloyd Webber or gotten to see how he works, and now he’s my buddy. I got to work with the sickest dancers and performers. No complaints.”

If this leads you to believe that the pop superstar is in the business of sugarcoating things, consider her other new movie — a vastly more significant documentary that presents Swift not just sans digital fur but without a whole lot of the varnish of the celebrity-industrial complex. The Netflix-produced “Taylor Swift: Miss Americana” has a prestige slot as the Jan. 23 opening night gala premiere of the Sundance Film Festival before it reaches the world as a day-and-date theatrical release and potential streaming monster on Jan. 31.

The doc spends much of its opening act juxtaposing the joys of creation with the aggravations of global stardom — the grist of many a pop doc, if rendered in especially intimate detail — before taking a more provocative turn in its last reel to focus more tightly on how and why Swift became a political animal. It’s the story of an earnest young woman with a self-described “good girl” fixation working through her last remaining fears of being shamed as she comes to embrace her claws, and her causes.

Given that the film portrays how gradually, and sometimes reluctantly, Swift came to place herself into service as a social commentator, “Miss Americana” is a portrait of the birth of an activist. Director Lana Wilson sets the movie up so that it pivots on a couple of big letdowns for its subject. The first comes early in the film, and early in the morning, when Swift’s publicist calls to update her on how many of the top three Grammy categories her 2017 album “Reputation” is nominated for: zilch. She’s clearly bummed about the record’s brushoff by the awards’ nominating committee, as just about anyone who’d previously won album of the year twice would be, and determinedly tells her rep that she’s just going to make a better record.

But she suffers what feels like a more meaningful blow toward the end of the film. In the fall of 2018, Swift finally comes out of the closet politically to intervene on behalf of Democrats in a midterm election in her home state of Tennessee. As the Washington Post put it, this announcement “fell like a hammer across the Trump-worshipping subforums of the far-right Internet, where people had convinced themselves… that the world-famous pop star was a secret MAGA fan.” Donald Trump goes on camera to smirk that he now likes Swift’s music a little less. The singer is successful in enlisting tens of thousands of young people to register to vote, but her senatorial candidate of choice, Democrat Phil Bredesen, loses to Republican Marsha Blackburn, whom she’d called out as a flagrant enemy of feminism and gay rights.

“Definitely, that was a bigger disappointment for me,” Swift says, pitting the midterm snub against the Grammy snub. “I think what’s going on out in the world is bigger than who gets a prize at the party.”

It was not always thus for Swift — as the detractors who dragged her for staying quiet during the last presidential election eagerly pointed out. If you had to pick the most embarrassing or regrettable moment in “Miss Americana,” it might be the TV clip from “The Late Show With David Letterman” in which the host brings up politics and gets Swift to essentially advocate the “Shut up and sing” mantra. As the studio audience roars approval of her vow to stay apolitical, Letterman gives her what now looks like history’s most dated fist bump.

Thinking back on it, Swift is incredulous. “Every time I didn’t speak up about politics as a young person, I was applauded for it,” she says. “It was wild. I said, ‘I’m a 22-year-old girl — people don’t want to hear what I have to say about politics.’ And people would just be like, ‘Yeahhhhh!’”

At that point, Swift was already starting to record isolated pop tracks, taking baby steps that would soon turn into full strides away from her initial genre. But whether she had designs on switching lanes or not, the lesson of the Dixie Chicks’ forced exile after Natalie Maines’ comment against then-President George W. Bush had branded itself onto her brain at an earlier age, when she’d just planted her young-teen flag in Nashville and overheard a lot of the lamentations of older Music Row songwriters about how the Chicks had thrown it all away.

“I saw how one comment ended such a powerful reign, and it terrified me,” says Swift. “These days, with social media, people can be so mad about something one day and then forget what they were mad about a couple weeks later. That’s fake outrage. But what happened to the Dixie Chicks was real outrage. I registered it — that you’re always one comment away from being done being able to make music.”

Maybe the most transfixing scene in “Miss Americana” is one where Swift argues with her father and other members of her team about the statement she’s about to release coming out against Blackburn and — it’s clear from her references to White House opposition to the Equality Act — Donald Trump too. The comments were so spontaneous that Wilson wasn’t there to film the moment, but the director had asked people to turn on the camera if anything interesting transpired, and here it most certainly did.

“For 12 years, we’ve not got involved in politics or religion,” an unnamed associate says to Swift, suggesting that going down the road of standing against a president as well as Republican gubernatorial and Senate candidates could have the effect of halving her audience on tour. Her father chimes in: “I’ve read the entire [statement] and … right now, I’m terrified. I’m the guy that went out and bought armored cars.”

“I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bullshit rather than just smiling my way through it.” TAYLOR SWIFT

But Swift is adamant about pressing the button to send a nearly internet-breaking Instagram post, saying that Blackburn has voted against reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act as well as LGBTQ-friendly bills: “I can’t see another commercial [with] her disguising these policies behind the words ‘Tennessee Christian values.’ I live in Tennessee. I am Christian. That’s not what we stand for.” Pushing back tears, she laments not having come out against Trump two years earlier, “but I can’t change that. … I need to be on the right side of history. … Dad, I need you to forgive me for doing it, because I’m doing it.”

Says Swift now, “This was a situation where, from a humanity perspective, and from what my moral compass was telling me I needed to do, I knew I was right, and I really didn’t care about repercussions.” She understands why she faced such heated opposition in the room: “My dad is terrified of threats against my safety and my life, and he has to see how many stalkers we deal with on a daily basis, and know that this is his kid. It’s where he comes from.”

Swift was recently announced as the recipient of a Vanguard Award from GLAAD, and she name-checked the org in her basher-bashing single “You Need to Calm Down,” which was released as one of the teaser tracks for last fall’s more outwardly directed and socially conscious “Lover” album. Part of her politicization, she says, is feeling it would be hypocritical to hang out with her gay friends while leaving them to their own devices politically. In the film, she says, “I think it is so frilly and spineless of me to stand onstage and go ‘Happy Pride Month, you guys,’ and then not say this, when someone’s literally coming for their neck.”

A year and a half later, she elaborates: “To celebrate but not advocate felt wrong for me. Using my voice to try to advocate was the only choice to make. Because I’ve talked about equality and sung about it in songs like ‘Welcome to New York,’ but we are at a point where human rights are being violated. When you’re saying that certain people can be kicked out of a restaurant because of who they love or how they identify, and these are actual policies that certain politicians vocally stand behind, and they disguise them as family values, that is sinister. So, so dark.”

Her increasing alignment with the LGBTQ community wasn’t the only thing raising her consciousness to a breaking — i.e., speaking — point. So did the sexual assault trial in which judgment was rendered that she had been groped by a DJ in a backstage photo op (for financial restitution, Swift had asked for $1).

Her experience with the trial was crucial, she says, in finding herself “needing to speak up about beliefs I’d always had, because it felt like an opportunity to shed light on what those trials are like. I experienced it as a person with extreme privilege, so I can only imagine what it’s like when you don’t have that. And I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who’s always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs. I still think it’s important to be polite, but not at all costs,” she says. “Not when you’re being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bulls— rather than just smiling my way through it.”

That came into play when Kanye West stepped into her life and publicly shamed her a second time. In the video Kim Kardashian released in 2016, you can hear the people-pleasing Swift on the other end of the line sheepishly thanking him for letting her know about the “Me and Taylor might still have sex” line he plans to include about her in a song — only to regret it later when the eventual track also includes the claim “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The boast, of course, referred back to the moment when he interrupted her and stole her spotlight at the MTV VMAs six years earlier as she was in the middle of an acceptance speech. West’s is not a name that ever publicly escapes Swift’s lips, so it might be surprising to fans that these events are recapped in “Miss Americana,” although Swift says the filmic decisions were all up to the director, who explains that Swift’s reaction to the episode was important to include.

“With the 2009 VMAs, it surprised me that when she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was,” says Wilson. “That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before, and made it much more relatable and understandable to anyone.”

“I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart.” LANA WILSON, DIRECTOR OF “TAYLOR SWIFT: MISS AMERICANA”

Swift acknowledges how formative both incidents have been in her life, for ill and good. “As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show,” she says now, “somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage.’ That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew. … That can push you one of two ways: I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it.

“But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life, as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect (from West), but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl…” She sighs. “I understand why Lana put it in.”

Adds the woman who started her recent “Lover” album with a West-allusive romp that’s pointedly called “I Forgot That You Existed”: “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now.”

What’s not in the film is any mention of her other most famous nemeses — Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta of Big Machine Records, with whom she’s scrapped publicly for several months. “The Big Machine stuff happened pretty late in our process,” says Wilson. “We weren’t that far from picture lock. But there’s also not much to say that isn’t publicly known. I feel like Taylor’s put the story out there in her own words already, and it’s been widely covered. I was interested in telling the story that hadn’t been told before, that would be surprising and emotionally powerful to audiences whether they were music industry people or not.”

Still, the way Swift has been willing to stand up politically for others parallels the manner in which she stood up for herself in regard to Braun, et al., at the recent Billboard Women in Music Awards, where she gave an altogether blistering speech, naming names and taking no prisoners, going after the men who now control her six-album Big Machine back catalog. Certainly Swift was aware that, along with supporters, there were many friends and business associates of Braun among the VIPs in the Hollywood Palladium who would not be pleased with what this very reformed people-pleaser had to say.

One thing everyone who was in the room agrees on is that you could hear a pin drop as Swift used the speech to get even bolder about the meat of these disputes. Some would say it’s because they were riveted by her boldness in speaking truth to power, others because they just felt uncomfortable. Says one fellow honoree who works in a high position in the industry (and who’s worked with some high-profile Braun clients): “People were excited for her at the beginning of the speech. But once she started going in a negative direction at an event that is supposed to be celebrating accomplishments and rah-rah for women, I felt it fell flat with a good portion of the room, because it wasn’t the appropriate place to be saying it.”

Wasn’t it intimidating for Swift, knowing she might be polarizing an auditorium full of the most powerful people in the business? “Well, I do sleep well at night knowing that I’m right,” she responds, “and knowing that in 10 years it will have been a good thing that I spoke about artists’ rights to their art, and that we bring up conversations like: Should record deals maybe be for a shorter term, or how are we really helping artists if we’re not giving them the first right of refusal to purchase their work if they want to?”

“Obviously, anytime you’re standing up against or for anything, you’re never going to receive unanimous praise. But that’s what forces you to be brave. And that’s what’s different about the way I live my life now.” (Braun’s camp did not respond to a request for comment.)

One thing Taylor Swift can’t bend to her determined will is her family’s health. She revealed a few years ago that her mother, Andrea, a beloved figure among the thousands of fans who’ve met her at road shows, is battling breast cancer. Swift addressed the uncertainty of that struggle in an anguished song on her latest album, “Soon You’ll Get Better.” Many who view “Miss Americana” will look for signs of how her mom is doing. The subject comes up in a section of the film that includes a relatively light-hearted scene in in which it’s shown that one of Andrea Swift’s ways of saying “eff you” to cancer recently was to break the mold and bring a canine — her “cancer dog” — into a famously feline-friendly family.

The real answer may come in Swift’s touring activity for “Lover.” Whereas typically she’d spend nine months in the year after an album release on the road, she plans to limit herself to four stadium dates in America this summer and a trip around the festival circuit in Europe. This may not be 100% for personal reasons: “I wanted to be able to perform in places that I hadn’t performed in as much, and to do things I hadn’t done before, like Glastonbury,” she says. “I feel like I haven’t done festivals, really, since early in my career — they’re fun and bring people together in a really cool way. But I also wanted to be able to work as much as I can handle right now, with everything that’s going on at home. And I wanted to figure out a way that I could do both those things.”

Is being able to be there for her mother the main concern? “Yeah, that’s it. That’s the reason,” she says. “I mean, we don’t know what is going to happen. We don’t know what treatment we’re going to choose. It just was the decision to make at the time, for right now, for what’s going on.”

In her case, it’s as if her manager had taken seriously ill as well as the person she’s always been closest to, all at once. “Everyone loves their mom; everyone’s got an important mom,” she allows. “But for me, she’s really the guiding force. Almost every decision I make, I talk to her about it first. So obviously it was a really big deal to ever speak about her illness.” During filming, when Andrea’s breast cancer had returned for a second time, “she was going through chemo, and that’s a hard enough thing for a person to go through.” Then it got harder. Speaking about this latest development publicly for the first time, Swift quietly reveals: “While she was going through treatment, they found a brain tumor. And the symptoms of what a person goes through when they have a brain tumor is nothing like what we’ve ever been through with her cancer before. So it’s just been a really hard time for us as a family.”

Compared with that, nearly any other topic the movie might address would pale. But it finds weightiness in addressing other kinds of unhealthiness, like the physical expectations that are placed on women in general and celebrity women specifically, Swift being no exception. In this department, she has her own heroines. “I love people like Jameela Jamil, because he way she speaks about body image, it’s almost like she speaks in a hook. Women are held to such a ridiculous standard of beauty, and we’re seeing so much on social media that makes us feel like we are less than, or we’re not what we should be, that you kind of need a mantra to repeat in your head when you start to have unhealthy thoughts. I swear the way Jameela speaks is like lyrics — it gets stuck in my head and it calms me down.”

Swift’s collaborator in this messaging, Wilson, was on a list of potential directors Netflix gave her when she expressed interest in possibly doing a documentary to follow the concert special that premiered on the service just over a year ago. You could discern a feminist message, if you chose to, in the fact that Swift chose a director most well known for a documentary about abortion providers, “After Tiller.” Swift says she was most impressed, though, that Wilson’s docs look for nuance and subtlety in addressing subjects that do lend themselves to soapboxes, and their first conversation was about their mutual desire to avoid “propaganda” in any form.

If there’s a feminist agenda in “Miss Americana,” Wilson and Swift wanted it to emerge naturally, although the director admits it was pretty blatant from the outset, given that she set up the film (which is co-produced by Morgan Neville, the director’s “sounding board”) with an all-female crew. Or nearly all-female, says Wilson, laughing, “I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women.”

Adds Wilson, “When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. She knew that she was coming out of a very dark period, and wanted collaborate on something that captured what she was going through and that was really raw and honest and emotionally intimate.” The political awakening, the director says, “was a profound decision for her to make. In that, I saw this feminist coming of age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.”

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks.” TAYLOR SWIFT

The film borrows its title from a song on the “Lover” album, “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” that’s maybe the one fully allegorical song Swift has ever released — and, in its fashion, is a great protest song. The entire lyric is a metaphor for how Swift grew up as an unblinking patriot and has had to reluctantly leave behind her naiveté in the age of Trump. Her partner on that track, as well as other message songs like “You Need to Calm Down” and “The Man,” was a co-writer and co-producer new to her stable of collaborators this time around, Joel Little.

With the song “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” although the lyrics are cloaked in metaphor, “We like to think it was a very clear statement,” Little says. “There are lots of little hidden messages within that song that are all pointing toward the way that she thinks and feels about politics and the United States. I love that it uses a lot of classic Taylor Swift imagery, in terms of the songwriting topics of high school and cheerleaders, as a clever nod to what she’s done in the past, but tied in with a heavy political message.”

“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” doesn’t actually appear in the documentary, but the director says the film’s title is understood by fans as an obvious reference to political themes in the number. “Even if you don’t know the song,” Wilson says, “I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart, so I like how the title evokes that too.”

The doc doesn’t lack for its own protest songs though. In the wake of her midterm disappointment, Swift is seen writing an anthem for millennials who might have come away disillusioned with the political process. That previously unheard song, “Only the Young,” is seen being demo-ed before it plays in full over the end credits; it’ll be released as a digital single in conjunction with the doc. Key lyric: ““You did all that you could do / The game was rigged, the ref got tricked/ The wrong ones think they’re right / We were outnumbered — this time.”

“One thing I think is amazing about her,” says Wilson, “is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammy news (about “Reputation”), this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say ‘That wasn’t right.’ She’s like, ‘Okay, I’m going to work even harder.’ You see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. And then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into ‘Only the Young.’ It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs; you get to witness that in both cases.

So is the film aimed at satisfying the fan base or teasing the unconvinced hordes who might dial it up as a free stream? “I think it’s a little bit of both,” Swift says. “I chose Netflix because it’s a very vast, accessible medium to people who are just like, ‘Hey, what’s this? I’m bored.’ I love that, because I do so many things that cater specifically to fans that like my music, I think it’s important to put yourself out there to people who don’t care at all about you.”

In the wake of the last round of Kanye-gate, stung by the backlash of those who took his side, Swift took a three-year break from interviews. The mantra of her 2017 album “Reputation” and subsequent tour was “No explanations.” But her Beyoncé-style press blackout was a passing phase. With “Lover” and now, especially, the documentary, she could hardly be more about the explanations. Although this interview is the only one she currently plans to do about the documentary, it’s clear that she’s come back into a season of openness, and that she considers it her natural habitat.

“I really like the whole discussion around music. And during ‘Reputation,’ it never felt like it was ever going to be about music, no matter what I said or did,” she says. “I approach albums differently, in how I want to show them to the world or what I feel comfortable with at that time in my life.” Being more transparent “feels great with this album. I really feel like I could just keep making stuff — it’s that vibe right now. I don’t think I’ve ever written this much. That’s exhibited in ‘Lover’ having the most songs that I’ve ever had on an album” (18, to be exact). “But even after I made the album, I kept writing and going in the studio. That’s a new thing I’ve experienced this time around. That openness kind of feels like you finally got the lid off a jar you’ve been working at for years.”

Cipher-dom never could have stood for long for someone who’s established herself as one of the most accomplished confessional singer-songwriters in pop history. “I don’t really operate very well as an enigma,” she says. “It’s not fulfilling to me. It works really well in a lot of pop careers, but I think that it makes me feel completely unable to do what I had gotten in this to do, which is to communicate to people. I live for the feeling of standing on a stage and saying, ‘I feel this way,’ and the crowd responding with ‘We do too!’ And me being like, ‘Really?’ And they’re like, ‘Yes!’”

Swift believes talking things up again isn’t a form of giving in to narcissism — it’s a way of warding off commodification.

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks,” she muses. “They’ve been inundated with your name in the media, and you become a brand. That’s inevitable for me, but I do think that it’s really necessary to feel like I can still communicate with people. And as a songwriter, it’s really important to still feel human and process things in a human way. The through line of all that is humanity, and reaching out and talking to people and having them see things that aren’t cute.

#swift finally comes out of the closet politically.... yes they REALLY wrote that

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wordsturnintostories · 4 years

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show me your rosettes, baby (g)

summary: The world tour is over and the Bangtan Boys finally get their well-deserved break. When Namjoon suddenly can’t find Jimin anywhere, things take an unexpected and pretty unbelievable turn. “Kim Namjoon!” “Hyung. How common is it for people to turn into cats?” word count: 11.7k note: sorry for not updating this baby in sooo long. i struggled with this chapter for three months and would have never gotten to this final version without @justanemptydream’s help. you saved me. thank you, love. anyway, last time i thought the chapter was long but now we’ve got an 11.7k monstrosity. let me know if you enjoyed reading it. toodles ✨

masterlist | moodboard masterlist

The room is stunningly quiet apart from Jimin’s sleepy hiccups, the soft buzzing of the fish tank and the beeps that signal that the call is not yet connected. Unsure about what to expect, Sihyuk and Namjoon hold eye contact. Then, suddenly, a woman’s voice appears on the other side of the phone.

“Welcome, Bang Sihyuk, Kim Namjoon. I am your automated call agent today. We apologize for not being personally available to take your call at the moment. To continue, please choose an option from the menu. Press 1 to access all gathered data about Park Jimin, press 3 to-“

They both look at each other.

“What the hell.”

A bird caws outside the window. The fish in the tank swim in wobbly circles. Jimin sniffles and fails to lick his side. The silence - okay, it’s more of a shock-state, but the silence seems electric, like any word will change the current and any action will push them to a point of no return.

Namjoon starts a short body-mind check, feels his brain reboot. There are not many updates; he’s still sitting in the same chair in Bang Sihyuk’s office, Jimin is still wriggling around on his lap and they are still on the phone with the weird robot lady whose number they got from a magic business card. But his heart is pounding like it wasn’t before, and his eyes and mouth hang open wide. Actual shivers flow over his skin, matching the light reflexes from the tank, and Namjoon has a weird premonition that he will break something today. The silence is almost damp with shock, and probably only rings in his ears, like he’s a hero in an action movie who’s lost his sense of hearing after the explosion of the century.

Now, Namjoon knows a lot of things other people don’t know. He knows how to make music, great music according to ARMY and the charts, and he knows how to lead a group (although most of the time, he feels like he’s not actually doing anything, thanks to his hyungs). He knows how to survive a 40-event concert tour and he knows how to dislocate a shoulder without trying to. It’s the things Namjoon doesn’t know that scare him.

He doesn’t know how anyone could have possibly found out about Jimin’s condition - he’s been extra careful the past days, restraining himself from posting cat photos on their twitter and only letting Jimin out into their private backyard to avoid prying eyes. The only people he’s told about Jimin are Min Yoongi and Bang Sihyuk. Not even the other band members know about the leopard cub roaming their apartment and gnawing on their cushions. And yet, some company or organization has found out.

Namjoon doesn’t know what to think - on the one hand, it could be very good. It could mean that the other company has no intention of blackmailing them. It could mean that there is interest in the topic but no pressure. On the other hand, this could be bad, very bad. To know that someone else is out there, with unclear motivations (because seriously, they could still blackmail BigHit for this), with an unknown amount of information - it could mean anything. Namjoon knows as well as any other person working for BigHit how fragile success is - no matter the foundation of work underneath. BigHit and BTS have worked years - long years that cost them their all - to rise up as far as they have today and the whole business is based completely on popularity, on opinions. Opinions can change quickly, especially in the music industry. One wrong move and your career is over. Namjoon knows all this. What he doesn’t know is whether Jimin will shift back, become human again (the doubt still lingers despite what Jackson says), whether BTS will be able to go on normally, whether their next shows will happen, whether Jimin will be okay. Because if he isn’t, BTS isn’t, and if BTS isn’t, BigHit isn’t either. That’s how it works. Namjoon knows that. And that’s why he looks up to Sihyuk for help.

Namjoon is sure that Sihyuk knows all these things too, that he’s thinking about them right this moment while Namjoon has to remember to breathe properly and both ways, in and out, to stuff back his rising anxiety (just like his therapist told him, in and out, in and out). Sihyuk stays pretty quiet for a long moment, looking back at Namjoon but not really looking at him directly, more like… through him like he’s not focused at all. Then, he shakes his head and himself out of his trance and grabs his phone. Another thing Namjoon knows (by heart) is this new look on Sihyuk’s face as he looks for the contact and dials. It’s the I’m-concerned-for-my-kids look that he’s been sporting less and less nowadays but that had been a constant companion during their first couple of years.

The voice on the phone reels Namjoon back in from his observations, enough to catch the relieved “Good morning, Mrs. Kang”. It’s enough to let Namjoon know that the situation is very serious but hasn’t quite reached catastrophic levels yet. Mrs. Kang is their lawyer, not their emergency response unit. Mrs. Kang clears things up, does law research and manages their contract details. She’s not responsible for decisions concerning anything related to music or marketing or member conditions, so Namjoon manages to find some hope in the thought that all these things are not endangered. PDnim will take care of any new legal issues. We’ll be fine.

Before he reroutes his full attention back to the words filtering through his phone, Namjoon takes a second to feel himself in the room - he thinks back to his therapist talking to him about unsettling situations and anxiety. Just ground yourself in the sounds and in the feeling of your body in the room - against the chair, against the floor, wherever you are. Feel the air around you and breathe in and out. What is near you? Feel it. Focus on that rather than the anxiety inside. Namjoon breathes in and for a second, he wishes he had Jungkook’s sense of smell because the office scent in his own nose is rather weak. He does smell Sihyuk’s perfume and the lingering residue of his own cologne on the soft collar of his coat. He feels the chair’s armrests that enclose his hips and the way his shoes line up perfectly with the floor. And most importantly, he feels Jimin pawing at his ankles in an eager attempt to be scooped up and cuddled, probably. It forces a pleasant smile on Namjoon’s face that he welcomes - as if the little leopard cub has managed to shush his anxiety completely. Rightfully so, Namjoon thinks as he grabs Jimin’s tiny body, legs and arms flailing around cutely in the air, tail curling around Namjoon’s wrist. Jimin’s eyes are wide and blue and just like a little plushie’s - big enough to stand out from the rest of his body proportions and big enough to lower your defenses to attack you with cuteness. Namjoon sets his dongsaeng down on his lap before picking up the call again only to realize that he hadn’t even responded last time - so now, the robot voice is tirelessly repeating the same menu choices as before.

“-mation we have gathered about Park Jimin, press 3 to apply for a regular membership or a VIP membership, press 5 to request medical or legal support, press 7 to be connected to our Shifter and Hybrid Needs network or press 9 for other issues.”

When his mind registers the options presented to him, Namjoon doesn’t know what to think. In all honesty, those options sound nothing like his paranoia had suggested to him before - it sounds like normal customer service and that bothers Namjoon because this is a magical number that Jackson had given him… right? To be honest, Namjoon doesn’t know what a phone call with a magical number should sound like, if there’s any sample he could go by - is there any K-drama he could watch that is even halfway accurate with these magical things? Maybe he should text Jackson later.

“H-Hi,” he cringes at how shaky his own voice sounds, “w-who am I talking to?”

“Forgive my manners, Namjoon-ssi. I am your automated call agent today. Our office staff is currently not available to take your call-“

It’s so strange. Namjoon has never encountered any automated call agent that responds to his voice, or rather, his words. Normally, those things present the options menu, wait for the number he presses, and react accordingly. He’s slightly confused by how this call goes right now and Jimin whines when the big fingers in the fur on his back still. Namjoon goes back to gently stroking the cub’s fur and frowns. What if this is not a normal machine?

“Are-are you an AI? Or are you a new kind of technology somehow?”

“I am an AMI, Namjoon-ssi, designed specifically to accommodate our many clients’ needs individually.”

An AMI. He isn’t sure if that name was given on purpose, if that is part of the message that the other side wants to transmit - an AMI? Like, ARMY? Is it meant to… be a joke? A threat maybe? Does the female robot voice introduce itself (herself?) as AMI to everyone or just him? Namjoon’s brows are furrowed and he really doesn’t know what to think, only that wilder ideas arise the more he keeps thinking, so maybe he should stop. What if- what if this is not really a robot voice but an actual ARMY that uses some sort of voice contortion device? What if this is a Sasaeng? Alarm bells ring in Namjoon’s head. He isn’t sure whether that’s possible, whether this is a valid idea, but in the handful of years he’s been an idol, he’s learned that the world is crazy. Anything is possible, especially in BTS. He brushes his fingers through Jimin’s soft fur, letting the tail drag through his hands, relishes in the warmth under the fuzz and risks a look at Sihyuk, who is still talking to their lawyer.

“There’s no sense in waiting longer, you’re right. Is there anything you can do to activate the contract clause faster?” and then, “Yeah, same as last time.”

Namjoon sits up a little straighter. A contract clause? What does he mean by that? What kind of contract clause - he sucks in a breath. Does BangPdnim - did he plan this somehow? Was he prepared for this kind of thing to happen? Also, same as last time? Has he done this before? Is there… maybe someone else like Jimin? Another shifter in the group? Wouldn’t Jackson have mentioned that? His thoughts swirl and Namjoon feels like he’s falling through his chair, into the ground, like there’s an endless bottom opening up underneath him. Like his world changes and all his breathing exercises from before have been completely useless. Once again, the voice - AMI - pulls him back into reality. He breathes unevenly and finds Jimin’s eyes. Innocent. Unknowing. Trusting. Namjoon’s heart pounds. It aches from his yearning to take care of Jimin well. To protect him.

“May I ask you to choose from the options, Namjoon-ssi. Main menu. Press 1 to access-“

“AMI, how can I change Jimin back? Is there anything I can give him? Maybe medication, or something?”

It’s a rushed question, a question tasting like panic and helplessness. Namjoon doesn’t know what’s going on, it scares him, and he needs to find a solution. If there is even the tiniest possibility of Jimin’s contract being changed up now that he is like this, and Jimin being at a disadvantage because of it, Namjoon will make sure to make it right. He shivers because normally, he wouldn’t hesitate to ask for Sihyuk’s help, but now? It’s all messed up, he doesn’t know what’s happening and what he can do. He needs to come up with solutions, and fast.

“Shifting is a process induced by hormones, Namjoon-ssi. There is medication to trigger a shift either way but it will majorly affect hormone levels of the patient and is not recommended to be taken on a regular basis.”

“Is there any other way?”

“Would you classify this situation as an emergency?”

Namjoon thinks. He looks at Jimin, then at Sihyuk. Catches the mumbled “Can’t have that happen. No one can find out” from the CEO’s lips. Feels breathless, like endless shame is gnawing through his heart for even allowing the mere thought of Sihyuk doing anything that could harm the members. He wouldn’t. Right? Right? But right now, Namjoon can’t really judge the situation well. He doesn’t have all the information, doesn’t know what a contract clause could do in this case, what it would be for, he doesn’t know. He kind of wishes he had Hobi or Yoongi by his side right now, to help him make decisions but also to help him keep a clear head. It would certainly make things more bearable. It feels like he’s actually stepped into that alternative universe from their Heartbeat music video, where impossible things are the norm and magical creatures float around everywhere. He doesn’t understand.

“Yes, I would say so,” he breathes.

“Understood,” AMI replies promptly, “Emergency response team has been alerted. Estimated arrival in 5 minutes. Please prepare to assist the medical examination by-“

Namjoon rushes to yell into the phone, “What- NO! No, no, no! It’s not that kind of an emergency! Jimin is fine, please don’t, there’s no need-“

Sihyuk sends a worried look into his direction, but Namjoon ignores it.

“Emergency response team on standby. Please confirm your previous directive. Is this an emergency?”

“We don’t need medical attention. Jimin is fine.”

“Understood. Main menu. Please choose from the options. Press 1 to-“

His shoulders sag in relief but he feels annoyed that AMI has moved back to the main menu again without even leaving room for discussion. It beeps when Namjoon presses the 1, maybe because he actually wants to know what this AMI knows about Park Jimin, maybe because he really feels bad for making her read the main menu so often and maybe because he doesn’t know what to do and needs to kill time so Sihyuk can do this phone call together with him and maybe even because he doesn’t know if this is important or not. So, he waits for AMI’s voice with bated breath.

“1,” AMI enunciates, “general data regarding Park Jimin. Nationality: Korean. Date of birth: 1997, June 5th. Gender: female. Species: White -“

“Wait, no. That’s uh, you’ve got the wrong Park Jimin.”

AMI is talking about Park Jimin who Namjoon had first met on the set of the After School Club together with Eric Nam, and he releases a breath of relief - and loses Jimin, who takes the chance to start exploring. Like the little troublemaker his kitty alter ego is (not really a big surprise when you think about how human Jimin’s mind works), he jumps right up where he probably shouldn’t be - on the desk. The desk where documents lay, where electronic devices buzz and where little objects look interesting enough to trigger a little cat’s curiosity.

“I apologize, Namjoon-ssi,” AMI says, sounding a little confused with her robotic voice, “would you like to change Park Jimin’s profile?”

“No, no. It’s just the wrong one. There’s another Park Jimin.”

“I apologize, Namjoon-ssi,” AMI repeats and Namjoon figures it’s just how she’s programmed, “would you like to register a new profile?”

“I don’t want to register anything, I just want-“

“Main menu. Press 1 to access-“

He groans. And there she goes again. Namjoon shuffled on his seat nervously, ignoring the little growls from Jimin somewhere further away. He risks a side glance to Jimin and feels soft amusement riding up his face when the cub rolls around playing and nibbling on a small BT21 Cooky’s ears. But then he hears AMI talking, persistently repeating the main menu and Namjoon isn’t sure if he can go wrong by choosing any of the options so he just dares to ask questions. He hopes it won’t get him into trouble.

“You mentioned legal advice. Why would we need legal advice?”

“Currently, there is very little official legislation regarding the Shifter and Hybrid community in Korea. Our legal department’s services are free and extend toward every member of the Shifter and Hybrid community in Korea. We offer-“

“And what about medical support? What kind of medical support would Jimin need?”

“Our organization connects clients to a network of professional veterinarians from all over the nation. However, we have specific 24/7 on-call staff trained to assess and treat Shifters and Hybrids specifically. We also connect to therapists, nutritionists, and skin & fur care professionals if needed.”

Namjoon isn’t sure what that means, only that it actually sounds like robot lady is trying to sell them something now. Hadn’t she talked about a membership before? He feels his leg bounce impatiently. When will Sihyuk be done? Should I just wait for him? Maybe we should just discuss this before anything else-

“Namjoon-ssi, Park Jimin is currently ingesting Samsung printer ink, which can be very toxic for a leopard cub his age, please-“

As if hit by a sudden strike of lighting, Namjoon feels his body move on its own. His eyes shoot up, focusing immediately on his kitty dongsaeng playing with a dark little ink cartridge by the printer. His thumb smashes that end-call button before letting the phone collide with the table in an ugly crash. He lunges forward to grab Jimin from the desk.

“Jiminie! Don’t do that,” he scolds and feels terror spread at the sight of the little leopard wiggling in his grasp, ears drawn back in shock, cheeks and chest soaked in splashes of blue, magenta and yellow ink. “What are you thinking!”

The cub meows pitifully but doesn’t let his words match his actions with all the feisty squirming. Once again, he seeks out the help of his claws that definitely pierce Namjoon’s skin. With his concentration completely on Jimin - it’s honestly a relief that the call is over so that he can deal with one issue at the time - he jumps when Sihyuk suddenly yells a curse through the room.

“What is happening!? Namjoon-ah, what did you do?”

Namjoon whines. It’s not his fault Jimin is prone to get himself into situations like this - he’s too curious, too adventurous and too tiny for the world right now and apparently, he likes making a mess with colored liquids. The toothpaste had been harmless of course, so it wasn’t a big deal, but Namjoon can’t deny it doesn’t give him a half a heart attack looking at Jimin with those stains in his fur. He looks like a little rainbow-kitty somehow. If this wasn’t so serious, Namjoon would take photos. He knows Jimin would coo and laugh at this later and Taehyung would declare it authentic art.

“I’m sorry, hyung! I didn’t pay attention for a second and- do you have tissues?”

Sihyuk throws him a package of wet tissues from some shelf by the wall, but like Namjoon expects, it basically doesn’t do anything to get the ink out of the leopard’s fur. It doesn’t look like Jimin minds or like he even understands the fuss (he purrs when Namjoon rubs his body down), but the humans certainly do. Namjoon sinks back into his chair and sighs, one of his hands brushing through his own hair in an attempt to calm himself. It takes a second to just calm down from the pulsing shock, so he just lets Jimin play with his hands until the little leopard loses interest and starts nosing Namjoon’s belly, the pockets of Namjoon’s jeans, and puts his tiny paws on Namjoon’s thighs, looking up.

“How are you so tiny and still such a troublemaker, Jiminie?”

Jimin stays in his position for quite a bit as if he wants to say something but Namjoon doesn’t get the hint, doesn’t know what Jimin wants, and realizes AMI is still talking. By now, he considers just hanging up and calling Jackson. Or one of the hyungs. He could really use a hyung now, just a steady, calming presence next to him like in English interviews or Award Shows. Jimin, who still has his nose buried in Namjoon’s jeans (where his pockets are), whines.

“What is it, baby, huh? What do you need?”

The little leopard only snuffles wetly along Namjoon’s pockets (which are empty) and when the rapper tries to grab the cat, Jimin hisses. But then he slips because he’s a clumsy little thing with only a short, shivering tail that doesn’t know how to balance the body attached to it and his paws lose grip on Namjoon’s thigh so he glides off the side. Luckily, Namjoon’s reflexes are quick enough to shoot after his dongsaeng and grab his leg so that he can lift the kitty back up his lap before anything can happen. (He pictures the scene like one of those Dads grabbing their kid falling from the couch in those Dad-compilations. It’s epic.) He yelps when Jimin’s tiny fangs sink into his hand. He receives a vicious hiss on top and feels betrayed.

“Jimin! Don’t bite me like that! I saved you. No need to be so ungrateful.”

But the cub doesn’t seem to feel grateful or repentant and continues his search for whatever it is he hopes to find in Namjoon’s pockets. It’s a tad irritating to be ignored like this when normally, Jimin is so thoughtful and kind.

“If you feel bratty like this, you can gladly spend the rest of our time back in the box.”

At this, Jimin does look up and for a second, Namjoon feels something spark in his chest. Did he understand that? Did he understand me?

“The box? Do you want to go back into the box? Maybe that’s not such a bad idea, huh? You could nap a bit and you’ll feel much better.”

He gets up slowly, trying to grab Jimin on the way, but the little cub struggles too much so that Namjoon has to set him down to not have his hands torn up.

“C’mon, baby. We’ll put you back until you feel better, huh?”

All his hope is crushed when Jimin avoids the box like it’s hell even if he seemed to like it so much before. Any attempt to shoo him near the box fails and after a couple of minutes chasing the kitty around, Namjoon gives up. He goes back to his chair, plopping down and watching as Jimin tapers off to run circles in front of the fish tank and eventually trods over to Sihyuk’s feet. That, in turn, has Namjoon on edge, because Sihyuk is busy and concentrated on the phone call and Jimin is tiny and Namjoon knows from experience how easy the cub is to overlook and almost step on. But the CEO smiles at Namjoon and gives him a thumbs up. He straightens up and stands with his feet planted firmly on the ground, not bouncing on the balls of his feet like he usually does when on the phone. When Jimin starts to roll around, making it his mission to catch Sihyuk’s shoelaces, the man chuckles fondly. It’s a relief and Namjoon can’t believe he thought Sihyuk would somehow maybe make a bad choice just because Jimin turned into a baby animal.

“Yes, please let me know what options we have,” the CEO says. “Thank you.”

Namjoon uses the minute of peace and quiet to send a text to Jackson.

> Hey man, what exactly is the number on the card for? Why do they call themselves an AMI? Is it the same as ARMY?

He doesn’t get an answer immediately, so he stares at the little 1 in their Kakao chat for as long as he can and sighs when he turns his phone back off.

“Who are you trying to reach?” Sihyuk whispers, covering the microphone with his hand.

“Jackson.”

“GOT7 has their promotions in Europe now, don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t text back quickly.”

Jimin seems to get tired of playing with Sihyuk’s shoelaces and goes back to doing his own tour of the office. His little tail quivers in excitement as he sniffs every corner and rolls around on the carpet. Every now and then, there’s a little squeak that Namjoon finds adorable and that he wishes he could save in his heart for bad days. Namjoon focuses back on Sihyuk’s phone call. He can already see the many meetings with managers and staff this change could potentially cause; meetings to accommodate Jimin’s needs and to make sure everything stays under wraps for as long as possible. Or, depending on the outcome of the phone call, (Namjoon has assured himself by now that it will not end in a cancellation of Jimin’s contract because Sihyuk would never let go of Jimin, who is basically one of his fifteen children), a new round of contract negotiations. For the entire group, possibly, depending on the details Mrs. Kang will present to them. Namjoon hopes they can find a beneficial solution for everyone.

Suddenly, a strange sound moves into his focus, persistently interrupting his strategic thoughts. Scratch, scratch, scratch. It’s a weird scratching, not like a scratch on skin or wood or maybe clothes. It sounds different, like fabric snagging on something sharp and being released and Namjoon turns his head to look for the origin of the sound. There’s something in the corner of his eye that rouses suspicion. Jimin. Jimin is kneading the carpet. Alarm bells ring in Namjoon’s mind immediately. Kneading, scratching, peeing. It’s an established pattern that he’s observed during the past days. So far, his success rate of removing Jimin from a place like this (aka. a place that’s not his litter box) and carrying him some other place (aka. the backyard) stands at a proud 80%. However, the memories of the other 20% spur him on and Namjoon is out of his chair faster than he can even think about a plan.

Jimin startles at the sudden movement and jumps out of the way when the rapper tries to grab him. He’s much quicker than his tiny legs suggest and runs to hide behind the big pot that holds the pretty rosé-blossom tree by the wall that backs against the hallway. He probably thinks the big pot will hide him well until Namjoon shows up again, still aware of what’s at stake here (the carpet, Jimin’s new reputation, and both Namjoon’s and Sihyuk’s sanity). In a determined effort to keep Sihyuk’s office sanitary and welcoming, he sneaks up on the leopard. Hands grab air and Namjoon groans. When he turns around, he notices the little tail peeking out from below Sihyuk’s desk.

The CEO by the window himself doesn’t seem to notice what’s going on and Namjoon kind of feels like he could have used AMI’s emergency team after all. This is the second, no third emergency of the day and maybe, okay just maybe, Namjoon thinks he might have done something bad in his previous life so that the universe thought it would be fair to make him his dongsaeng’s babysitter. Suddenly, a VIP membership sounds tempting… do they offer babysitter services?

“Jimin-ah,” he whispers, “I swear, if you even think about peeing under hyung’s desk…”

Namjoon approaches slowly. If anything, he figures he should approach the leopard in a smart way. He’s aware that he probably doesn’t have much time left before the cat’s urge to relieve itself becomes insurmountable, so he tells himself to get it all over with quickly. What’s the best way to get Park Jimin to do almost anything you want? Sweet-talk. Namjoon approaches slowly and kneels. Before him, he sees the paper bin underneath the desk, a ton of (neatly bound) cables and the wooden legs of the table. Crouching, he grabs around the garbage can, meeting an amused meow that almost sounds like he’s laughing. Again, Jimin flees before Namjoon can get a hold of him.

“Ah, come on Jimin-ah, my cutest, prettiest, loveliest dongsaeng,” he coaxes, “You were doing so good yesterday, kitten…”

But Jimin doesn’t come back. He just sits on the carpet, tauntingly close, with a lively glint in his eyes. Jimin is watching Namjoon and the rapper doesn’t fail to note the excitement that lets the cat’s tail whip around wildly. So this is a game to you, huh?

When suddenly two legs appear right next to Namjoon’s face, he yelps. His hand gets tangled in some cable on the floor. He slips and slams his head against the metal paper bin, making it fall and spill everywhere. A nasty burn hits his temple and when he reaches up to touch the skin there, the cable around his hand pulls taut. Namjoon’s bad luck is endless, apparently, because something tumbles and crashes upon the table. Sihyuk lets out a yelp. Like a miscalculated movement in the shower, a quick burst of water hits Namjoon from above. He shrieks, feeling the wetness settle and hopes Sihyuk didn’t have any important documents out on the table. He doesn’t pay attention, but he can feel Jimin watching him from the carpet with amused eyes. When he looks, the little leopard rolls around, looking the most Jimin-like ever - like he’s laughing so hard that he just has to throw his body against something.

“Namjoon-ah!” Sihyuk yells, albeit more urgent than angry, “where are you? Kim Namjoon!”

“I’m here,” Namjoon groans, still rubbing his forehead. He’s sure the spot’s gonna be blue tomorrow. Yoongi’s gonna have a good laugh for sure.

“Where is here?”

The rapper crawls out from underneath the table. He sees movement from the corner of his eye but focuses on Sihyuk.

“No, I’m talking to Kim Namjoon,” he says into the phone and looks up only to have his eyes widen with a really panicked look in them. He jumps up, pointing into the room. “Don’t let him pee in there! That Sakura tree is from the President!”

When Namjoon whips his head around, making a cascade of water fly everywhere, he finds Jimin not on the carpet like he’d assumed, but in the big plant pot along with the Japanese tree. Jimin is walking around the stem of the little tree like he’s got a monopoly on the spot. From the body language, Namjoon can tell that the cat is calm and relaxed. Ideal for business. Oh no.

“Yes, hyung!”

Namjoon runs like he hasn’t in a long time (the couple days that he’s been on this pseudo-vacation) and finally snatches an unassuming Jimin right out of the tree pot, hands grabbing for the cat with so much determination that he even scoops up some earth. He hears mewling. It doesn’t matter, nothing matters in this emergency, and Namjoon looks around, nerves strung high, adrenaline rushing. He frowns when he realizes that there’s no litter box over here in the office. That leaves him with only one option: A dash for the bathroom.

Quickly, he runs to the door. There’s a moment of hesitation. He isn’t sure how he should hide Jimin from all the people in the building but considering that the bathrooms aren’t really far away, he hopes no one will cross his way. (Especially now that Jimin looks so violently colorful). A thought crosses his mind. What if Sejin is still outside? There’s a possibility that the manager has gone to his own office to get some work done while waiting but there’s also the possibility that he’s out there and springs up at the door opening and sees Jimin right away. It’s nothing I have control over, Namjoon reassures himself. He feels Jimin’s little cry in his heart and nods. Let’s go.

Stepping out into the hallway feels a bit like coming out of the shower - out of the cozy, safe warmth and into the frightening cold outside. When Jimin keeps wriggling, softly crowing his discomfort, Namjoon repositions him so that his hands won’t press on the leopard’s belly so much. He looks to the side and freezes. Sejin is on the sofa. Luckily, he’s got his eyes glued to his phone and doesn’t seem to have noticed Namjoon yet - and Namjoon is determined not to let it happen either. Before Jimin can make any loud sounds, Namjoon turns and runs. He does manage to run with Jimin in front of his torso so he isn’t visible from behind. Even if Sejin were to look after them, Jimin would be out of view. Namjoon keeps his eyes on the hallway door until a yell comes from behind.

“Kim Namjoon! Wait up!”

Don’t stop, keep running, Namjoon tells himself, glad that the 6km are a result on his step counter every day, not Sejin’s. Sure, Sejin jogs and stays in shape but Namjoon dances and runs around and is much younger too, so he doesn’t even pant as he takes the next turn to the left and runs towards the men’s bathrooms. The door doesn’t budge when Namjoon uses the handle. A flare of adrenaline-induced panic drips down Namjoon’s chest and he wants to curse. He finds a sign that says “Out of order”. Great. Now, where to?

It’s a good thing that Namjoon is so familiar with the building. Practically, this is the building’s office level that BTS members don’t necessarily have to visit very often. But Namjoon is a regular guest in all kinds of offices, so he is not at a great disadvantage. He knows the way, knows a couple of bathrooms strewn all over the levels. It takes a few risks to bring Jimin there as fast as possible - Namjoon dodges people but almost knocks the head of the PR department off his feet as he rounds a corner and gets drenched in coffee. He runs on, apologizing with a quick but deep bow that almost makes him stumble, takes the stairs and finally, finally reaches the end of the next hallway, the men’s bathroom, an empty stall, and holds a trembling Jimin over the toilet. The leopard fusses, not liking the feeling of being held like this, in the air over an abyss of water. He whimpers.

“C’mon Jiminie, look at me, I ran all the way over here for you,” he says, “give it some effort.”

It’s a moment of desperation but Namjoon feels warm inside (well, he’s sweating). He’s looking at Jimin and suddenly, he feels like he’s in a film, like he’s a Dad trying to potty-train his kid. Jimin shivers, ears flicking and turning constantly and even Namjoon’s gentle attempts to coax him into peeing don’t help. Those big blue eyes look like they’re gonna burst with tears at any moment. Can cats cry?

“You’re doing it wrong,” someone says behind him.

Namjoon jerks and swears he would have almost let Jimin drop. It’s Sejin and that means that Namjoon’s only got two options. Maybe Sejin knows what’s going on, maybe he doesn’t. In this moment, Namjoon doesn’t even let his fear of being discovered bubble up. He’s here to fix an issue, solve a problem, so he’s gotta get on with it. Sejin is on his side, so whatever happens, he’ll help. Namjoon is sure.

“Sorry,” Sejin says, breathing a little heavy as well, “just let him sit. Cats don’t like to be touched while peeing.”

Namjoon nods, suddenly feeling grateful that it’s Sejin who’s come after him. Sejin is the kind of hyung who just sees the need and helps, no matter what. There’s not a single occasion Namjoon can think of where Sejin has refused to help any member of the group. Of course, one could argue that it’s his job but Namjoon has seen people do their jobs and finds that Sejin is doing more than just a job - he’s taking care of Bangtan with passion and foresight, and sees their relationship as a way to install his substitute-Dad-wisdoms in them.

“He’s too small for the toilet though. He’ll fall in.”

“You need something like a litter box.”

Sejin moves around, drawing out a plastic container from below the sink. It’s a plastic container filled with wet tissues, deodorant the PR people keep in here for emergencies, and some excess paper towel rolls. Sejin fills it up with toilet paper and lets Namjoon place Jimin in it. Jimin circles the container, meows and finally seems satisfied. Namjoon looks away when the cub crouches. He doesn’t need to see that, cause it’s creepy, and rather turns his attention to Sejin.

“Not that I mind, but… why does your cat look like my three-year old’s drawings?”

Namjoon doesn’t know why but somehow, this question is so funny to him that he just starts to laugh - he laughs and laughs and when he’s done, he feels like somehow, a knot around his heart has loosened. He feels lighter than before and breathes. He’s tired but Sejin is here with him, and he knows it will be okay. Here on the cold tiles of the bathroom door, Namjoon finds a revelation coming to him. It approaches as he watches Sejin prepare the litter box for Jimin and unravels as Jimin joyfully runs a circle in it before crouching. It hits, however, in this moment of innocent glee, when Namjoon just enjoys the fact that their manager and friend is here with him. I’m not supposed to do this alone, Namjoon realizes, I was never meant to do it alone. He almost feels stupid that this feels like a revelation to him - he’s the leader of a seven-member group and still, his mind had automatically turned to selfie mode. But then again, he had felt so alone, this morning in the cold apartment, without any of the other members yelling around and sneaking Namjoon’s breakfast off his plate. His heart warms up as he watches Sejin smile at Jimin.

“Thanks for running after me and helping, hyung,” Namjoon says, grateful for the way the bathroom acoustics make it sound so much bigger, “I really appreciate it.”

Sejin smiles. “I’ll always help you, Namjoon-ah. Just let me know what I can do.”

There are some occurrences in life - sort of like déjà-vus - that make Namjoon hold his breath. Maybe it’s not that significant, but the way Sejin sounds like Seokjin almost makes Namjoon tear up right now. In his heart, he feels himself looking forward to the moment Seokjin’s banter echoes through their apartment again, the moment Namjoon steps through the door and looks into his hyung’s face. The moment Seokjin will hug him whether Namjoon wants to or not, and the moment he’ll feel his hyung breathe against his neck in a warm, friendly embrace. And the moment of relief, where Namjoon tells all the members what’s going on, where they talk over one another in an attempt to encourage Jimin and make him giggle in glee. It’s all gaining color and shape in Namjoon’s mind and with the image, hope and courage rise inside of him. Everything will be fine, and even with Jimin’s nagging self-doubt and perfectionism and whatnot, they will find a way. They will push the bad things away. Together.

“It’s great to have you on the team, hyung, seriously. I don’t know if I ever said this, but I’m really grateful for you.”

“Aw, cute. Why are you so sentimental all of a sudden?”

Namjoon shrugs, eyes turning back to Jimin so Sejin won’t see how mushy Namjoon feels inside, how much more he could say but won’t because he doesn’t want his hyung to suffocate under the avalanche of compliments and heartfelt emotions he’s still got in store. The right dosage is important, Namjoon-ah, he remembers Yoongi saying back in the dark, one shared night in their four-year-old studio chairs with takeout in their hands, don’t overwhelm people with your words. You’re too powerful with words sometimes, people don’t know what to do with it. It’s your superpower, so use it responsibly.

“I still don’t know why your cat looks like he’s just come back from a children’s birthday party.”

“PDnim tried to fix his own printer again. He left an ink cartridge on the desk and this little baby,” Namjoon pokes Jimin, who just meows, “was a bit too curious.”

“I don’t understand hyung. I told him he’s got an assistant for stuff like that.”

“He’s stubborn.”

“Yeah,” Sejin chuckles and they both watch how Jimin lifts one leg over the walls of the make-shift litter box, one after the other, very carefully. He catches on the rim with the last paw and lands on his snout with a soft thud. Following the momentum, he stumbles right into Namjoon’s shin and looks up wide-eyed like he can’t believe he just did that. Namjoon isn’t sure why he expects to see tears - probably because Tae is making him watch all those baby and toddler videos lately - but Jimin just whines, stands up and starts climbing Namjoon’s leg.

“Aish, always so clumsy, baby,” Namjoon mumbles, cooing at the tiny cat in his arms. “You scared me, baby. I thought you hurt yourself. Are you okay?” He kisses Jimin on the head but lets him sniff at Sejin’s hands when he tries to. He doesn’t give much of a reaction, which is not necessarily bad - it’s not a rejection. Sejin smiles and scratches Jimin behind the ears. The cub purrs against Namjoon’s hand, happily closing his eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Didn’t hyung fill you in already?”

“When? In the five seconds when you ran from me?”

“Good point. So, er-“ Namjoon takes a deep breath. There’s something about sitting on bathroom floors, something cold that makes you share your warmth and your inner thoughts, Namjoon thinks as he looks at Sejin. It’s a BigHit bathroom, so it’s clean, nothing like a public bathroom, but still - the floor under his feet makes him feel a bit bare, a bit lonely even if he’s not, and makes him want to not keep secrets.

“So, I uh… Well, Jimin, and I know it sounds er-strange, turned into a cat two days ago and I basically don’t know what I’m doing.”

Sejin does look surprised, looking back and forth between Jimin and Namjoon a couple times, as if he’s trying to figure out whether he’s become a victim to a prank or something.

“Are you serious?”

“I am. It’s not exactly… a great time but I’m glad this didn’t happen during our tour last year.”

“Wow. How are you so calm about this?”

“Well, I’ve had two days to come to terms with this now. But still, it’s a mess, hyung. I think I did well taking care of him so far, but it’s all a mess.”

“Remember when we first met, you and I?”

“Oh God,” Namjoon groans, “I don’t think I will ever forget that.”

“You were a mess back then too. So it’s okay, I can deal with a mess. I’m used to it,” the manager nudges Namjoon in the side with his elbow and Namjoon nods. It’s nice hearing that, and fitting, if Namjoon honestly thinks about their relationship. Yeah, Sejin has seen and has fixed messes left and right. Namjoon’s heart feels a little lighter when he hears those words. Jimin nuzzles into his hand in his lap and Namjoon feels a pang of affection travel through his body.

“Life is life, huh?”

It’s what Jimin and he have always been saying, ever since their first trip to LA. Life isn’t always fair, not always good, actually a lot less than good a lot of the time, but together, it’s not as bad and even great sometimes. Jimin curls into Namjoon’s lap, letting his body drop as if he’s too tired to hold it up much longer. He wants to be carried like the little maknae line member he is, starving for affection and attention.

“Should we go back?”

“What do we do with the litter box?”

“Do you have one at home?”

“Er, no. Jimin went outside for the past couple of days.”

“In the backyard!? Where people walk? Yah, Kim Namjoon! Also, think about your dongsaeng. That can’t be hygienic! Don’t tell me you really let Jimin outside every time he-“

Namjoon has to grin because of the scolding but blushes. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Well, that’s not allowed anymore. Do you at least have cat food or anything?”

“Not really. I promise I’ll work harder to be well prepared, hyung!”

“I see. Let’s drop off Jiminie and go cat-shopping. If he is a baby like this, we need to take care of him well, right?”

“Drop him off where?”

Sejin just pulls out his phone and dials a number. Namjoon can’t see the caller ID, but he doesn’t feel the need to ask either. When someone picks up and Sejin starts to rant, he sounds almost like a fake-enraged Seokjin. It’s like the familiar feeling replaces a little cavity-like hole in Namjoon’s heart that’s started to build the moment the members left for their vacations. It forces him to smile.

“Yoongi-yah, I’ve told you a dozen times not to bring your sick children to work.”

“Jimin is here?”

Sejin falters when the enthusiasm that breaks the mumble that is Yoongi’s work voice sounds through the speaker. Jimin squeaks suddenly, asking to be let down, so Namjoon lifts him up and makes him look right into his eyes. For a moment, he ignores that Jimin doesn’t understand and just hopes that his plea will get through. Namjoon tells the cub firmly not to create any trouble right now. Then, Yoongi speaks to him.

“Namjoon-ah, how are you holding up? Everything okay?”

“Honestly, hyung? It’s a mess. I’m a mess. Jimin is fine, but I don’t think I am.”

His thoughts fly back to the office. Sihyuk’s phone call with their lawyer, all that secretive talk about contracts and even the phone call with AMI. He remembers his confusion, his doubts, his fears - fears for Jimin, who innocently tries to climb up Sejin’s shins. There’s a rustle on the other side of the line that makes Namjoon’s heart beat suspiciously fast with some sort of anticipation.

“Okay, stay where you are. Don’t worry, hyung is coming, hyung will take it from here.”

Sejin makes a face and Namjoon feels the exact same way. Baffled. What’s going on? What’s with the sudden rush of affection?

“No need to baby me-“

“Oi, hyung is on his way, yeah? Where are you guys?”

“The bathroom by the PR department.”

Namjoon feels oddly confirmed. As if Yoongi’s sudden overbearing and sweet response was a wink from the universe. You’re not meant to do this alone, Namjoon. His stomach does a little jump at how much comfort Yoongi offers to him just by referring to himself as hyung (which Yoongi rarely does for him). Namjoon’s mind tells him that Yoongi will only baby him now that Taehyung and Jungkook are gone but in secret, behind really thick doors, Namjoon feels a tiny voice wishing for it to be a regular treatment. Namjoon has got Yoongi’s full hyung focus, even if he hasn’t explicitly asked for it. He knows that all the hyungs are attuned to the younger members’ needs but sometimes he forgets that he’s one of them. The leader position can be both a blessing and a curse.

When Yoongi opens the bathroom door and steps in and Jimin pounces forward with a string of excited chirps, not letting himself get held down by anything or anyone, Namjoon’s eyes widen. Yoongi kneels, scooping up Jimin, totally enveloping the leopard baby against his chest.

“Did you miss me, baby? Ah, I bet you missed hyung so bad, huh? Aish, what did they do to you, hm? You’re all messy. Don’t worry, they’re all idiots who mean well. But hyung will take care of you now.”

Namjoon listens to Jimin’s sweet, chirpy responses that really sound like the kitty is trying to answer Yoongi. They look perfect together, Lil Meow Meow and the cub. Sejin seems to think the same because he’s sneakily taking pictures from the side. Namjoon makes the mistake of thinking that it’s all Yoongi is going to say. He doesn’t expect Yoongi to step forward and look right into his eyes even while Jimin keeps rubbing his cheeks against Yoongi’s heart.

“And how’s my other baby? Running around, destroying everything, coloring his dongsaeng? Tell hyung how to fix it, yeah?”

It’s the weirdest thing ever - Namjoon doesn’t know what exactly it is with Yoongi’s words (maybe it’s the way they float over to him like the steam over a cup of his favorite tea, like they aren’t meant to tease when you just allow yourself to feel them properly) but they make Namjoon’s composure crumble. His cheeks feel wet all of the sudden and he’s sniffing (not bawling, thank God) and leaning into Yoongi’s big hand cupping his cheek.

“It’s not your fault, hey,” Yoongi hushes him and he finds himself under the direct but tender attention of his hyung. “I wish you would have let me know that you needed me so I could come to help you out, you know. That’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re here to rap,” Namjoon sniffles, trying to swallow down his wild emotions.

“And yet I dance like a god.”

Namjoon snorts.

“It’s not like I can only do one thing at a time, Namjoon-ah. I thought you knew that.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, hyung. Thank you for your support.”

Jimin begins nosing around Yoongi’s chest and arms now. Namjoon nudges Yoongi.

“Hyung, he’s been doing that since a while, what-?”

“He’s hungry. Did you bring any food?”

Wow. That makes so much sense. Jimin is hungry. How did I not understand that? It makes so much sense now that Namjoon knows what it means.

“I-I brought shrimps.”

For some reason, Yoongi doesn’t look impressed or happy.

“It’ll do,” he mumbles and moves to walk out of the bathroom. “Let’s go.”

“Manager-hyung and I thought we could go shopping in a bit, we wanted to leave Jimin with you. We’ll buy everything Jimin needs.”

“We could definitely need some cat equipment. Bring one of those fluffy little stick-thingies that cats like to play with. Those are fun.”

“Uh, sure,” Namjoon nods, absolutely not sure if a) he knows what Yoongi means, b) stores will have a “fluffy little stick-thingy that cats like to play with” or if c) a store employee will be able to translate the term for Namjoon. He’ll give it a try anyway. “I just need to get my jacket.”

“Maybe buy some rubbing alcohol as well.”

“What do you want with rubbing alcohol, hyung?”

“Clean this little baby. As much as the color explosion is cute, I doubt it’ll be good for him if he licks it up. Isn’t that right, Jiminie?”

Jiminie doesn’t respond. He’s fallen asleep, probably overwhelmed by the chaos around him. Namjoon feels slightly guilty for putting him through so much stress. Yoongi is obviously so much better at this. I should have just asked him to watch over Jimin. Namjoon knows that’s his own shadow talking, his disappointment at his own clumsiness that still haunts him sometimes. But it still feels like a real feeling, even if it’s a lie, and Namjoon’s shoulders sag at the sight of the little leopard breathing softly into Yoongi’s neck.

Namjoon doesn’t say a word on their way back to the office and doesn’t even listen to Yoongi and Sejin discussing which cat toys and foods should be bought and how big their monthly budget should be for cat necessities. When the three of them enter Sihyuk’s office, it kind of looks a bit thrashed - Namjoon’s chair is on its side in the middle of the room (it must have toppled over when Namjoon had rushed to grab Jimin), there’s clearly a wet spot around Sihyuk’s desk, an even bigger mess underneath the table and a trail of earth leading from the Sakura plant to the door. Namjoon’s head threatens to hang even lower at the visible chaos (and the “oh wow, what happened here” that slips through Sejin’s lips) but Sihyuk’s voice cuts through his thoughts.

“Option 1. Let’s hear what you have.”

Namjoon’s brows furrow. How-? Is he on the phone with AMI? Then, curiosity rises. Will AMI tell Sihyuk the same as him?

“Option 1. Park Ji-” AMI pauses, almost as if she is thinking, “Good morning, Min Yoongi, Kim Sejin.”

Namjoon shivers. How does this supposedly automatic robot know who is in the room? How can they know? Maybe it’s this uncertainty that makes him feel so uneasy. Could it be that they are watching us? It sounds a little crazy in his mind, but he honestly doesn’t have a clue how else she would know. Maybe it’s magic. Namjoon sighs.

“Option 1. Park Jimin. Date of birth: 1997, June 5th. Gender: female; Nationality: Korean; Spe-“

“That’s not what I asked. Tell me what you have on my kid.”

Sihyuk sighs, visibly disgruntled with how this call is turning out. But the way he said my kid, it makes Namjoon grin fondly. Even if he’s not the person in question, he feels loved. Namjoon can’t help but smirk at how strictly Sihyuk deals with anything that has to do with the Bangtan Boys. Now that the CEO is on it, everything will be fine. AMI stays silent for a while, almost as if she is processing the request or gathering information or something.

“Option 1. Park Jimin. Date of birth: 1994, October, 13; Gender: male; Nationality: Korean; Species: Korean leopard; Genetic Expression: Dominant; Blood Type: A. Species warnings: strong predatory drive, exceptional senses and strength, possibly sensitive to aggressive behavior, solitary and nocturnal behavior; Species requirements: meat-based diet, extensive territory, regular physical exertion; Currently scheduled appointments: Physical Exam 1 by on-duty Shifter Staff of Seoul District.”

“Finally. Now, I would like to know how you have attained this load of information about Park Jimin and how you justify keeping it without our consent.”

“Sir, may I remind you that I am merely an AMI, and cannot substitute for your assigned customer client. I am however able to book an appointment for you with one of our staff…”

Yoongi makes a noise next to Namjoon. Even Sejin shuffles around on his feet. Namjoon feels slightly nauseous. He goes to sit down and Yoongi chooses to stand by his side, hand touching Namjoon’s neck, a soothing message of reassurance. Which is needed. This is a lot. A lot more than expected and somewhat scary, even in the face of 14 million wild Armys knowing more than is healthy about each member of BTS. As the information sinks in, Namjoon realizes that there are two options with this. Either, this is a terrible situation in which the robot lady and her organization are actually a threat, or they are a help and genuinely assist Jimin without any hidden agenda or contract. Heck, this would be so much easier as a commercial offer. Commercial offers are easy to deal with - you either accept, negotiate, or decline. BigHit gets hundreds of them every month, but this-? This is something else entirely.

“Who is your employer?”

“I apologize, Sihyuk-ssi. I am not authorized to communicate confidential information to clients.”

“I’m not your client.”

“Sir, please understand that the law requires for every shifter to be listed in our registry - which includes the scheduled check-ups and following classes-“

“Classes?”

“Sihyuk-ssi, we are required by law to ensure that every person in our registry knows their rights and understands their body. We are simply providing an educational tool to prevent diseases as well as help Shifters and Hybrids to live well. Our organization was founded with these goals in mind.”

“Let’s talk this through with our lawyer. I would like to make use of an appointment. For now, please do enter Park Jimin into your registry.”

“Very well. I will now propose a date for you with one of our customer service staff.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” Sihyuk says once he puts down his phone (he has to look for a good spot for a few seconds because there’s printer ink all over his desk). He looks into their faces. Namjoon can see how affected he is by this situation - a situation that turns tables and reshapes their group dynamics, possibly.

“Hey Yoongi,” he smiles. “Did you get the USB stick I sent you?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, “I got it. What I’ve heard so far sounded great but I’ll look though it tomorrow. Thanks, PDnim.”

Sihyuk also greets Sejin but Namjoon doesn’t really listen anymore. He just wants to get the box and go home - no, right, he wanted to go shopping with Sejin. Namjoon is so tired. It’s like with a high-focus test where you hold up your concentration for so long but when it’s over, you feel your entire existence slack with exhaustion. He shifts in his chair.

Sihyuk’s eyes fall on Namjoon. “You okay?”

“No.”

“Namjoon, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re probably overthinking.”

“Hyung, how are we supposed to have our comeback like this? I looked at the schedules, it’s soon. What if Jimin shifts in the middle of a concert? What if we can’t get him to shift back? Even this robot lady said there’s no medication. It’s impossible to be an artist like us when you turn into a cat like this. It’s impossible.”

“Okay, listen. This situation is not unfixable and not impossible to solve, Namjoon-ah. We can do anything.”

“We can’t do everything, hyung.”

“Did I or did I not set you up to meet Warren G before you were famous?”

Namjoon blushes. Right.

“You did.”

“I did. That was impossible, wasn’t it? You guys became global stars. That was impossible, wasn’t it? You guys are one of the greatest artists in history. That’s impossible too, isn’t it? Raise your standard. RM is impossible. This,” he points at Jimin, who slowly begins to stir against Yoongi’s throat, “it’s just a page in your story. We’ll get through it and it will be okay. Okay?”

Namjoon nods. His head bobs much heavier than usual, as if it suddenly weighs more. He hears Yoongi coo at Jimin and watches him boop the tired little cat’s nose. Then, as if he’s actually attuned to the cat’s thoughts, he reminds Namjoon to look for Jimin’s snacks. He pulls his jacket off the chair, grabs the little plastic bag (the little bag almost rips in his hands but Namjoon manages to just prevent the fourth emergency on the day - a pile of shrimp on his CEO’s office floor) and hands it over to Yoongi, who walks out with the sleepy leopard cub, leaving only Sihyuk, Sejin and Namjoon behind. To some, it might look like disrespect, especially in terms of Korean society rules, but in reality, it’s both an open display of trust towards Namjoon to fill him in on all the important details later, and a display of responsibility as a hyung who prioritizes taking care of his dongsaeng. Namjoon doesn’t care. His fingers smell gross. Like dried shrimp. There’s no sink. Focus, Namjoon. Focus just for a little bit. You’re an adult, behave like one. You can wash up and be tired later.

“Hyung, what does this phone call mean? Do we really have to register Jimin and all that?”

“Yes. We have to take them seriously. That organization does its work well.”

“But what is it that they do? I talked with AMI for at least ten minutes but I still don’t know who they are.”

“They are a government-funded agency who protects shifters and hybrids in different aspects. I only know that they dragged two entertainment companies to court because they had not registered a couple of their trainees. The court decided that it was mistreatment even if they were treated like everyone else.”

“Why?”

“Apparently, there are different laws for shifters and humans but I don’t know much about that yet. I’ll have to go through it with our lawyers.”

“But… if they are government-funded, how did I never hear of this? A court case with other entertainment companies, I’m sure that would have been on the news, right?”

“That was many years ago. I don’t know when this organization was founded, but they must have been working hard to protect every shifter since then.”

“I didn’t even know stuff like this existed…”

“Well, the community is rather small. People don’t talk about it and I’m sure many people don’t know that this stuff exists. As far as I know, most magical creatures are hiding the fact that they are magic. Even the organization runs secretly.”

“Hyung, isn’t that contradictory? How could they be part of the government if they run secretly?”

“I really don’t know much, but I think they aren’t part of the government… just consultants with a special status. And funded. I’m not sure how it works. But they execute laws, like registering shifters and hybrids.”

“Okay… so now Jimin is registered. What now?”

“I’ll take care of the contracts and you take care of Jimin.”

“Okay, I’ll ask Hobi what we can do about-“

“You can’t tell the members, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon isn’t sure he’s heard right. All the mushiness and good warmth from before vanishes in a second. His heart actually skips a beat. He feels awfully cold and like he’s been electrocuted at once. At least it wakes him up. What!?

“What?”

“Don’t tell the members.”

“Why? Jimin will need all the support he can get and I don’t want him to feel any less loved than before. I know that all of the members will feel the same.”

There are a hundred issues lining up right now, but Namjoon knows that their biggest problem of all will be Jimin himself. Because in the end, Jimin’s soul is not a bird that nests easily in a new environment. Of the last eight years that Namjoon has spent by Jimin’s side, he’s witnessed the boy go from believing horrid lies about himself to starving himself like even his worst enemy wouldn’t do to him. Sure, Jimin has overcome these things, has found firm footing in the muddy path called identity. He’s come to love himself, riding on the wave of fresh wind that his brothers’ love is for him. Nonetheless, Namjoon can’t stop worrying about every new wave that comes crashing on the shore. Namjoon knows Jimin is particular about his body. Knows the boy is strategic and sometimes painfully pessimistic in his thoughts without even trying to be and prone to driving himself into feeling lonely. Jimin is so precious and Namjoon just wants to see him be happy. The possibility of the truth coming out to the public and at the wrong time almost hits Namjoon harder than he thinks it could hit Jimin. It resonates in his bones with an evil ache. To think that Jimin will face yet another challenge, that the look of desperation and anger might appear again in his eyes. And that Namjoon can’t help, can’t make it better. And even if Namjoon knows that it won’t be bad forever, that Jimin will get through this and feel better about it all someday but Namjoon just doesn’t know the price. And that hurts. But the members - the members should know. Because they won’t judge him. They will carry it all with him.

“He won’t. Listen, I don’t want him to feel pressured by this. It’s a huge change for him and he will need some time to figure it all out. And especially now, with the comeback approaching, I want you all to be focused. I know you guys always work hard and you always do your best. But we all know how fragile such a preparation period before a comeback is and how quickly it can become oppressing if bad news hits.”

Namjoon’s mind wanders back to when he’d undergone surgery and the schedule had only allowed it at a time when their next comeback had been on the horizon already. Like a cloud flying overhead, Namjoon’s trip to the hospital and the slight (secret) complications had thrown a shadow over their preparations. Back then, it had definitely stressed the other members, even if their dance practices and recordings had all been on time and perfect.

“Hyung, we’ve always got stuff going on. After the comeback, we have shows lining up, then the next tour and a hundred different events in between, like the Summer package, like mv shoots. There’s no better time to deal with this than right now. I can’t keep this a secret from the members and then expect them to be happy about it when I tell them later. They deserve to know.”

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. As long as the contracts aren’t renewed…”

“Hyung, I can’t accept that. Jimin won’t do well with this secret. You know how he treats himself sometimes and how difficult changes are for him. Especially Hobi should know since they are roommates.”

“I trust Yoongi and you to be by Jimin’s side until everything is prepared.”

“What do you need to prepare?”

“Well, a change like this… needs to be reflected in his contract. If something happens, he needs to be secure. If there are any special needs he has, we will make sure to provide and help but it all needs to be written out in his contract first. We’ll have to check what laws are relevant for us and align ourselves with it. Until Jimin signs the new contract, I will make sure there will be as little pressure on him as possible. I want him to feel like nothing has changed, like he doesn’t have to feel bad or judged for what happens.”

“What if he shifts again and I’m not there, hyung? Or Suga-hyung? What if he’s left with the maknaes? They should know.”

Sihyuk swivels in his chair and stares at the window for a good minute before answering. Namjoon can hear the fish tank’s soft whirring. He wonders if one day, all this will be the next chapter in a film for Army. Or part of a song. Something to brag about. Because right now, it doesn’t feel that way - not glorious, not beautiful and definitely not comfortable. Sihyuk’s voice sounds quiet, as if he’s had to dig deep for his next words and hasn’t returned from the depths yet.

“You don’t know this because I never told you, Namjoon. But when our Park Jimin signed with us, his parents had one major condition. At first, I thought it would be about money, free time, or maybe dating. Actually, they asked me to sign a confidentiality agreement between me and them. I promised to never tell anyone including Jimin that he was a shifter, to treat him normally and to ensure that he would receive his medication - suppressants.”

“Hyung.”

Namjoon feels like someone has punched him in the gut. He can’t breathe somehow, but it’s like he doesn’t want to either. He never thought Sihyuk would do something like this. It’s so wrong, he doesn’t even know what to say. One look into Sihyuk’s eyes, however, makes Namjoon’s tumbling sea still. Sihyuk knows how wrong it is, to keep such a huge secret from Jimin, to restrict his personal… worldview like this. And he regrets it. Deeply.

“So you knew from the beginning. Did you never think that we deserved to know?”

“I wanted to tell you so bad, especially you, Namjoon. At least the leader should know, right? But that was the condition: I don’t talk. His parents said that there are traditions that needed to be followed and kept in their culture and I believed them and wanted to respect that. I wanted to keep my word.”

“But… Jimin’s parents didn’t tell him either, did they? He doesn’t know anything at all.”

“I believe so, yes.”

Namjoon sighs. That’s - crazy.

“We’ve always made sure Jimin received everything he needed to be in top condition as a normal human being. We constantly supervise his health as we do with all of you. Based on that, I kind of expected his body to build a resistance to the suppressants someday. It took a while until we had adjusted them well - do you remember when he lost so much weight?”

“That was because of the suppressants?”

“I almost canceled that stupid contract back then. Jimin shouldn’t have had to suffer through this - he should have known what was going on with his body, he had every right to.”

“Hyung, that’s horrible-“

“Yeah. He just blames it on that genetic disease his parents say runs in the family.”

“So there’s no genetic disease.”

"I mean, it’s one way to describe your genetic makeup. If you’re trying to suppress it, it probably feels like a disease.”

Namjoon nods. It’s understandable from a logical viewpoint. It’s inexcusable from an emotional one. Namjoon swears to himself that he will never call Jimin’s ability to shift a disease. Even if his parents had used that term to hide their shifter side, Namjoon will never allow anyone to call it that. He wants Jimin to feel like it’s a regular part of his identity, like he doesn’t have to feel bad about it.

“So… will that organization drag us to court? Because we didn’t register Jimin until now?”

“I hope not. I will definitely meet up with them and organize a meeting between all parties. Communication is key, so I’ll do my best to fix this. I apologize for causing such a mess but I still have to ask you to keep quiet about this until it’s all cleared up.”

Namjoon nods. He feels a little burnt out, a little defeated to be honest. How could this all be true?

“May I leave, PDnim?”

“Of course. Please do put all your expenses for Jimin on my card.”

“Thank you, hyungnim.”

When Namjoon walks out, he hears Sihyuk talking to Sejin.

“Please tell our head of staff to give the cleaning staff a raise.”

masterlist | moodboard masterlist

#park jimin #jimin #bts #shifter jimin #bts fanfic #supernatural bts #feb15 #smyrbg #chapter 7 #show me your rosettes baby (g)#yay #finally #enjoy #please give it love #it's my baby

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purrincess-chat · 5 years

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Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Original CH9

I did say I wanted to update it by/on Valentine’s and I actually came through!

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Chapter 9

“I’m impressed, Adrikins,” Chloe said, sitting across from Adrien and crossing one leg over the other. “It’s not like you to go on the offensive.”

“I don’t like seeing my friends get hurt,” he said while Jean Luke poured their tea. “Lila has gone too far.”

“I’m so glad you’re seeing things my way. With you on my side, I think we can have her running back to Italy in tears by next Tuesday,” Chloe said with a crooked grin, taking a sip of her tea.

“Well,” Adrien drawled, and Chloe rolled her eyes. “I want to stop her, but I don’t want to humiliate her or hurt her or in any way cause her grief.”

“Adrikins,” Chloe groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We have got to do something about that moral compass of yours.”

“Just because she’s mean and selfish doesn’t mean she deserves to be completely mortified. There has to be another way,” Adrien chided, and Chloe set her tea down with a sigh.

“What if we send her a fake letter saying she won an all-expense paid trip to Jamaica for two years?” Chloe said, tapping her chin. “Then, in reality, we have our pilot strand her in the middle of the jungle.”

Adrien gave her a disapproving frown.

“What? I’m just brainstorming,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m just saying that I will spare no expense to make her disappear.”

“No harm, Chloe,” he reiterated sternly, and she pursed her lips.

“I liked you better when you were spineless,” she grumbled. “Where has all this new-found courage come from anyway?”

“I just thought about what you said,” he shrugged, reaching for a madeleine, “and Lila confronted me.”

“Well, I suppose I give you an A for effort,” she gave him a slow applause. “If you could convince that bakery brat to join us then we might get some good ideas.” When Adrien averted his gaze, Chloe’s eyes narrowed. “I can smell your guilt from here, Adrien.”

“I don’t want Marinette to know about this,” he said with a wince. “I want her to continue to move on and be happy.”

“You’re being awfully protective,” Chloe said pointedly.

“Lila has caused her enough grief.”

“So, that’s why you want to do something about Lila now? To help Dupain-Cheng?” She asked with a grunt. “And here I’d thought you couldn’t stand to see me being ignored.”

“Chloe, you’ve known Marinette longer than I have, but do you think she deserved to be treated that way by her friends?” Adrien asked, and Chloe shifted her gaze to her cup, taking a long, thoughtful sip.

“No,” she said finally. “As much as I hate her, she didn’t deserve that.”

Adrien’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but a smile curled on his lips.

“You’ve changed,” he remarked, and she scoffed in denial, setting her cup on the table.

“Don’t think for a second that I care about her,” she said, cheeks red, and they darkened when Adrien leaned against his fist with a smug grin.

“I like it. It suits you,” he said, and she puffed her cheeks out stubbornly, prompting a laugh from Adrien.

“Well, if you’re not going to let me do things my way, and you don’t want Marinette to know about this then I’m going to need some time to think and pull resources together,” she said, changing the subject.

“Thanks, Chlo,” he said, leaning back with a deep breath. “Although…”

“Don’t ‘although,’” Chloe groaned.

“I just feel kind of bad for yelling at her like that,” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, and Chloe threw her head back with a whine.

“Why? She deserved it,” she said, snatching a bonbon from the tray and popping it in her mouth.

“I know, but…” he clasped his hands together between his knees. “It still feels mean.”

“Wow, that passion was short-lived,” Chloe said with an eye roll, and Adrien pursed his lips.

“I’ll talk to her again tomorrow and give her one last chance.” At that Chloe shook her head, releasing a sigh through her nose. “If she says no then we can figure something out, and I won’t fight you.”

“You’re such a goody-two-shoes, Adrikins. Always thinking everyone can change and be nice,” she stuck her tongue out with a gag.

“Well, I never gave up on you, and now you’re a superhero,” he said pointedly, quirking a brow, and Chloe flipped her ponytail over one shoulder to hide her face.

“Fine. Do whatever you want, but I’m still going to think up plans for revenge,” she waved him away, but he noticed the small smile on her lips before she masked it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, crossing the room to kiss her cheeks in farewell before taking his leave.

Chloe clapped for her butler the moment the door shut behind him.

“Jean Rousseau, how quickly can we have a case of live lobsters delivered?”

***

“Wait, what happened?” Adrien asked later over video chat, his Chinese notecards abandoned on his desk.

“Clara Nightingale wants me to design for her! She came by in person and everything,” Marinette reiterated. She laid prone on her chaise, legs kicking as she chewed her nails. “I’m so nervous, but she thinks I’ve got what it takes.”

“Of course, you do, Marinette. You’re awesome,” Adrien assured her with a smile, and she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear shyly.

“So, how was school for you today? Anything exciting happen?” She asked, and Adrien averted his gaze.

“Uh, just same old, same old. Lila being Lila,” he shrugged before flicking his gaze back to her. “Nothing too noteworthy to report.”

“That’s good, I guess,” she said, picking at loose threads on her pillow. “I take it Chloe hasn’t made a move?”

“Nope,” Adrien shook his head.

“Give her time,” Marinette rolled her eyes then leaned against her fist. “By the way, my new friends still want to meet you.”

“I’d be happy to meet them,” he said, relaxing a little at the change in subject.

“Eliott invited me to hang out on his yacht soon, so maybe you could come along if you aren’t busy,” she suggested, and the warm smile returned to his lips.

“I’ll beg my father,” he said, and she seemed pleased by that response, though Adrien tapped his fingers hesitantly. “You know I’d do anything to help you, right?”

“What? I, uh, yeah I mean, we’re friends, so I’d do anything to help you too,” she stammered, cheeks pink. “Why?”

“No reason, just if you need help designing for Clara, that’s all,” he rubbed the back of his neck guiltily before clearing his throat. “Anyway, I should get back to studying.”

“Right, I’m sorry for calling and distracting you,” she gasped, offering him an apologetic wince.

“It’s fine. I’m glad you did,” he chuckled good-naturedly. “Talk to you soon.”

“Good night, Adrien.”

“Yeah, good night.”

***

“Did you finish filing those papers Mme. Mendeleiev asked you to do?” Alya asked after school the next day, and Lila suppressed an eye roll, plastering on a shocked mask.

“Oh no, I didn’t, and I totally forgot that my mom set up a meeting for me with some ambassadors about a new idea I have to help special needs kids in third world countries,” she gasped, clasping her hands together pleadingly. “I know you’re busy, but would you mind finishing that up for me? I will totally make it up to you!”

“No worries, girl,” Alya smiled, veering off toward the lab. “Go save the world.”

Lila smiled triumphantly to herself as she sauntered toward the locker room, looking forward to her afternoon off. The students here were so gullible, and she’d never had such an easy time pushing her work off on others. Now that Marinette was gone, she could do whatever she wanted.

“Hey, Lila.” She blinked in surprise when she rounded the corner and found Adrien standing by her locker with a solemn expression. “Can we talk?”

“Are you going to apologize for how you spoke to me yesterday?” She crossed her arms over her chest with a humph.

“I am.” She side-eyed him, eyebrows furrowing skeptically.

“Well, go on then,” she urged, pressing her lips into a firm line to hide her smug grin.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said, and her smirk broke through.

“Apology accepted. I’m so happy that you see things my w-”

“I’m not finished,” he cut her off. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, but I’m not sorry for what I said.”

Her jaw hung slack, so he continued, “If you continue lying to everyone and using them, you’re only going to hurt yourself in the end. People are going to figure it out eventually, and they’re going to be angry with you.”

“These people are blind. I’ll get away with it for as long as I want,” she shot back, brushing past him to open her locker.

“I know you think that, but you’re wrong.” Her jaw clenched as she shifted her books. “I’m going to give you one last chance, Lila. Tell everyone the truth.”

“Or what, Adrien?” She turned to him and cocked a brow. “What are you gonna do? Tell everyone that I’m lying? Good luck. You see how well that went for your friend.”

“I’m not going to expose you,” Adrien shook his head. “You’re going to expose yourself, and I won’t help you when you face the consequences.”

“We’ll see about that,” she said, reapplying her lip gloss before shutting her locker. “Sooner or later, you’ll see things my way, and when you do, I’ll be waiting.”

With a wink, she strutted passed him, swinging her hips purposefully.

“Is that your choice?” He cocked a brow, and she turned to him with a hand on her hip.

“Oh, Adrien. One day you’re going to learn that not everyone in the world wants to be nice,” she cooed, and he nodded thoughtfully.

“Suit yourself.”

At that she rolled her eyes and paced from the locker room. Adrien didn’t scare her because she knew for a fact that he was all talk and no bite. It’s one thing that she loved about him because boys like that were easy to manipulate. It was only a matter of time before she had him eating out of her hand just like everyone else. She just needed to wait.

***

“I’m so excited that you’re finally coming to my house!” Macy squealed as she and Marinette walked arm in arm with Eliott trailing behind. “You have got to sit in my massage chair.”

“We should invite Martin too. I did not do well on our last chemistry exam,” Eliott sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Besides, he seems happier when he’s with us, even if he is quiet.”

“He usually waits for his chauffeur out front. Let’s see if we can catch him,” Macy said, picking up the pace, but she froze the moment they reached the front entrance. “Oh no.”

“What’s the problem, Martin? You said you would do my homework for the entire year,” Gabrielle snarled as Thomas held the small boy by his shirt collar. “Were you lying?”

“I-I don’t want to be your puppet anymore,” Martin said shakily, face blanched and eyes wide.

“He’s standing up for himself,” Marinette gasped.

“Kind of. He’s about to get his butt kicked,” Eliott winced, but Marinette was already marching down the steps, “and so are we.”

“Gabrielle,” Marinette called, and the posse turned to her with disinterested scowls.

“Oh, look, little miss thinks-she’s-all-that is back to save her pet hamster,” Gabrielle sneered, stepping between Marinette and Thomas. “This doesn’t concern you, street rat, so why don’t you run along back to the sewers?”

“Not until you let my friend go,” Marinette said, undeterred despite how Gabrielle towered over her.

“And just what are you going to do to stop us? You’re as tiny as a mouse, and there’s no one around to save you now,” Gabrielle leaned into her face with a dark smile.

“She’s got us,” Eliott piped up, crossing his arms over his chest, and Macy squared her shoulders beside him.

“Two more cowards? I’m shaking,” Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “You think you’re all high and mighty because you won a design contest and got some free tickets? Please, I could ruin your whole life with one phone call.”

“So, do it,” Marinette challenged, and Gabrielle quirked a brow. “You talk big, so let’s see you follow through. Make the call.”

“Uh, Marinette, is this such a good-” Eliott held out a hand, but Gabrielle’s glare silenced him.

“Don’t tempt me!” She growled, but Marinette cocked a hip.

“Are you going to ruin my life or not? Because if you’re not then there’s nothing stopping me from helping Martin,” Marinette nodded to him, still dangling in Thomas’ grasp, and Gabrielle’s jaw clenched, though before she could reply, a familiar voice interrupted.

“Marinette?”

Everyone turned to see Adrien standing timidly at the base of the stairs, his Gorilla holding open the car door. “Is everything alright?”

Upon seeing him, Gabrielle faltered, jolting away from Marinette as if she’d been shocked, and Macy clamped her hands over her mouth to muffle a squeal.

“Adrien? What are you doing here?” Marinette asked as he climbed the stairs to meet her.

“I had some free time this afternoon, so I thought we could give you a ride home and hang out,” he said, glancing around at the scene before him. “What’s going on?”

Marinette flicked her gaze to Gabrielle whose eyes burned with anger, but the red head looked away, snapping at her boyfriend.

“Nothing. We were just leaving,” she grumbled as her group disbanded.

Thomas set Martin down on his feet gently before following Gabrielle to their limo.

“Friends of yours?” Adrien cocked a brow.

“Not exactly,” she rolled her eyes then turned to Martin. “You okay?”

“Yeah…” Martin straightened his glasses. “You must think I’m weak.”

“Not at all. I thought it was very brave of you to stand up for yourself,” Marinette assured him.

“Sorry you had to save me again. I wish I had the strength to defend you too,” Martin curled his shoulders. “Thank you, Marinette. I promise I’ll try to be stronger next time.”

“You’re already strong where it counts,” she touched his chest, “in here.”

At that his cheeks flushed, and he glanced up at Adrien, eyes widening again.

“You’re-”

“Adrien Agreste!” Macy screeched, latching onto his neck with a hysteric giggle.

“Macy, be cool, remember we talked about this?” Marinette coached.

“Let him breathe,” Eliott removed her arms from around him, and extended a hand. “I’m Eliott, and this crazy lunatic is-”

“Macy Chanteur!” She broke free of Eliott’s grasp and stuck out a hand for Adrien to kiss. “I have a poster of you on my wall.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows raised.

“She’ll calm down,” Eliott assured him. “I think.”

“It’s cool. I’m used to it,” Adrien chuckled. “But please don’t treat me like a celebrity. Any friends of Marinette’s are friends of mine.”

“Adrien just called me a friend,” Macy squeaked, and Eliott placed his hands on her shoulders to restrain her.

“My name’s Martin.” Adrien turned to the small boy and smiled, shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet all of you.”

“We were actually just about to go to Macy’s to discuss what happened with you-know-who yesterday if you want to come,” Marinette offered.

“Is that alright, Macy?” He asked, and she nodded enthusiastically.

“You can come over whenever you want, Adrien,” she sighed dreamily, clasping her hands over her cheeks.

“Great. We can take my car,” he gestured to Gorilla standing dutifully on the sidewalk.

“I’m going to ride in his limo!” Macy wheezed as Eliott guided her down the steps.

“Your new school is huge,” Adrien remarked, falling in line beside Marinette.

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for Macy and Eliott I would totally get lost,” she admitted.

“They seem like good people.” Marinette’s gaze softened on them as Eliott seated himself and Martin between Macy and Adrien.

“They are.”

“So, what was all that on the stairs?” Adrien asked as Macy gave Gorilla her address.

“Gabrielle,” everyone collectively moaned.

“The knock-off Chloe Bourgeois of the school,” Marinette explained, and Adrien nodded in understanding. “She’s got more bite and brute strength, but ultimately, I sense that she has less power.”

“That was incredible how you called her bluff,” Macy remarked, seeming to regain some of her composure, though she still stole frequent glances at Adrien when she thought no one was looking.

“When you deal with the daughter of the mayor of Paris, you get used to empty threats and power pulls,” Marinette shrugged.

“I’ve never stood up to anyone like that; I usually just stay out of trouble, but it felt good, like it was the right thing to do,” Eliott said thoughtfully. “You’ve helped all of us become a little more confident, Marinette.”

“Stop it,” Marinette giggled, covering her face with her hands.

“Isn’t her modesty adorable?” Eliott winked at Adrien who chuckled.

“Marinette deserves every ounce of praise, I know it,” he agreed. “She’s amazing.”

“Speaking of amazing, we need all of the details about Clara,” Macy said, leaning across Eliott.

“Clara?” Martin cocked a brow.

“Nightingale. She’s asked Marinette to design for her!” Macy explained, tapping her feet excitedly. “Oh, it was so tempting to throw that in Gabrielle’s face; I don’t know how you resisted the urge, but I’d never reveal your secret.”

“Well, I want to make sure she likes what I come up with first,” Marinette tugged one of her pigtails.

“Have you already started?” Adrien asked, and she bit her lip.

“A little-”

“Show us!” Macy and Eliott demanded simultaneously.

“Nothing is final yet. I was just playing around last night,” Marinette said, waving her hands frantically as they pulled into the gates of a large house.

“You should sit in our garden. It’s totally tranquil, and it might help you get ideas,” Macy suggested as they climbed out. “Can you imagine? Future-world-famous fashion designer sketching her breakthrough piece in my house!”

“Oh, let her breathe, Macy,” Eliott chided, pulling her ahead up the front steps.

“Your friends are lively,” Adrien said to Marinette. “I like them.”

“Macy and Eliott are super comfortable with each other. They’ve been friends for a long time,” Marinette explained.

“Since they were kids,” Martin piped up. “Their parents are old friends, and they’ve been in the same class every year.”

“That’s awesome. I hope you and I can be friends like that someday,” he rubbed the back of his neck shyly, and Marinette’s cheeks warmed.

“Well,” Macy said, holding her arms out and giving a twirl as her butlers opened the front doors. “Welcome to my home.”

#miraculous ladybug #ml salt #mdcsp original #marinette dupain-cheng #mdcsp #my writing #spite fic

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amoebo-id · 4 years

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a o t d !!!

no more than 1 release per artist to keep it interesting. selection and ranking is arbitrary and would prob be wildly different if i did this tomorrow. also i only went down to #42 cause everything after that didn’t feel like real aotd status - at least as far as the specific relationships i built over the past 10 yrs with the music i was listening to

#1 laurel halo quarantine

nobody did machine-body dialectic like laurel halo in 2012. i loved everything else from her this decade too but every time i listened to Carcass it made me leave my body physically. absolutely unreal album art too

https://laurelhalo.bandcamp.com/track/carcass-2

#2 e+e the light that you gave me to see you

2012 was a good year. pop/ambient/noise/radio-dj-tag sound collage ascended to spiritual intensity. makes you feel like a child experiencing awe. also fire-gut used to have probably my favorite music video ever but i think it’s gone now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p-SSuwW9cw

#3 ilovemakonnen 5

not to be confused with Drink More Water 5, this one’s from 2010 during his mostly-forgotten diy outsider-pop phase. off-key singing and amateur beats and the sheer absolute joy of making cool songs. all 5 are perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORKpg_-z0Mk

#4 macintosh plus floral shoppe

would’ve made top 10 on album art alone. music, aesthetics, and cultural impact are inseparable here but going back to the album reminded me just how engaging its 2010s-updated chopped-and-screwed sound is, musically not just conceptually

https://vektroid.bandcamp.com/track/420

#5 jason lescalleet this is what i do 17

hard to pick a favorite from jason lescalleet’s semi-monthly document of his electroacoustic / field recording / tape loop practice but i’ve cried to multiple tracks on tiwid 17 so it gets the nod. couldn’t find any of them online so here’s something else of his

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t33x8OOm68E

#6 barrio sur बड़ा शोक (heart break)

dedekind cut guy’s weird one-off side project ended up being my favorite thing to come out of the last few years’ obsession w cowboy/western/country music/aesthetics. pure mystery

https://soundcloud.com/user-366783613/redemption-7inch

#7 cities aviv come to life

i think maybe people thought cities aviv was just another no-flow pseudo-”conscious rap” type rapper in 2014 but actually this album is nuts. hyper-energetic vaporwave rap? what if death grips were happy? idk

https://citiesaviv.bandcamp.com/track/url-irl-2

#8 beach boys the smile sessions

this cool fresh 1960s rock myth arrived fully formed and way more fun than the other ones. brian wilson’s concepts and songwriting got so unwieldy we had to wait 50 years to hear the sessions. i don’t care about conversations about his genius or whatever these songs kick ass

https://oldmasterpainter.bandcamp.com/track/surfs-up

#9 mindspring memories & intl. debris international memories

did this really only come out in 2017? i feel like i’ve been listening to it since i was born. tangential lateral kind of wormhole out of vaporwave into two meditative spiritual infinite-feeling loops that perfectly complement each other

https://noproblematapes.bandcamp.com/track/sad-horizons

#10 nyege nyege tapes sounds of sisso

absolutely obnoxiously insanely high energy high pitch high bpm dance music. i can’t believe this isn’t what people mean when they say future bass. set me down the path of historical and contemporary non-”global north” ideas about dance/rhythm/bass which i’m still on

https://nyegenyegetapes.bandcamp.com/track/mshamba-video-mster

#11 blithe field face always toward the sun

the most gorgeous implementation of the sorta-ambient guitar-looping vignette aesthetic. is this a real trope or did i listen to this album so much i convinced myself it was a thing? for me this is the sound of what its like to feel completely content with life and at ease in the moment

https://blithefield.bandcamp.com/track/zen-den

#12 anohni hopelessness

listening to this album and singing along while driving my car made me feel absolutely disgusting. unbelievable hooks, grossly hi fi sound design, and overblown drama add up to imo a scary effective type of explicitly political or ‘protest’ music

https://anohni.bandcamp.com/track/drone-bomb-me

#13 21 savage, offset, & metro boomin without warning

why is these 3 pop stars’ vaguely halloween-themed one-off collab my favorite trap album? 21 savage, offset, and metro boomin were all wildly corny in different ways but everything was perfectly balanced. i hope metro boomin makes like one seriously ambient album next decade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWv-bR_X-VM&list=PLC1uUM4twa8i6zsD_Sn1LRUq4vhl_PLCx&index=11&t=0s

#14 laura les big summer jams 2018

‘crying in the club’ type bangers with no fear of ugliness and no fear of beauty and no fear of wildly unfashionable tropes like skrillex-y dubstep and guitar solos. so much input from other trans/queer artists it felt like a big t4t party

https://osno1.bandcamp.com/track/the-river-feat-scum-yung-skrrt-and-99jakes

#15 triad god nxb

the other triad god tape from 7 years later is just as good. what was this man doing in the intervening time? i just imagine him riding london public transit while it rains or something. i love knowing that most of his cantonese spoken-word/rap parts are insults and jokes rather than like, melancholy observations

https://soundcloud.com/hipposintanks/triad-god-remand

#16 dj koze knock knock

what if pop music sounded like this? somehow every song on here is wildly danceable, wildly sing-alongable, and also wildly detail-oriented. feels like a transmission from an alternate present where things are okay

https://djkoze.bandcamp.com/track/club-der-ewigkeiten

#17 ocora world of traditional music

box set of “world music” recordings from the label that french electronic composer pierre schaeffer started in the 1950s as a project to teach people in rural west africa how to dj. ethnography can be a fucked up idea but afaik ocora is one of the good ones and if you can sorta try to disengage from the tropes/cliches that get imposed on it, the music is phenomenal. hard to find a track specific to this box set but here’s another from the label

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJm8rn6gW5I

#18 oneohtrix point never replica

opn feels like an artist i’ve ‘grown out of’ i guess but samples never felt more alive or more dead than they did on replica. set a template for the kind of melancholy ‘soundscape’-y vibe that i spent years trying to find more of after

https://oneohtrixpointnever1.bandcamp.com/track/power-of-persuasion

#19 rihanna anti

the most perfect imaginable pop album. i keep trying to move it higher up. i almost put club chai vol 1 on this list purely cause of the Woo remix but then i remembered the original is better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dDCUKElEwk

#20 colleen a flame my love a frequency

colleen’s ultra deadpan singing and wriggly rhythmic synth put me in a trance. everything sounded dry as hell even though it was covered in reverb. i think maybe some people were put off by the corny song names and lyrics

https://colleencolleen.bandcamp.com/track/separating

#21 dj paypal drake edits

back when drake seemed like a sorta-shitty dude rather than seriously creepy, dj paypal used the power of footwork to expose both the melancholy-ambient modality and the serious-bass-music modality latent in his voice and beats

https://mallmusicinc.com/track/brand-new

#22 huerco s. for those of you who have never (and also those who have)

not really as ambient as it first seems imo, but rather like a really intense focus on what we mean when we describe things as ‘static’ or ‘dynamic’. i know it’s corny but i wanna say these tracks are fully both and fully neither

https://brianleeds.bandcamp.com/track/promises-of-fertility

#23 girls rituals reddishness

for a track so deliberately shitty-sounding I Know had no right to be so fucking danceable. persona and production synthesized into the only ‘singer-songwriter’ music i could really get into

https://temporaryenjoyment.bandcamp.com/track/i-know

#24 chromatics kill for love

fakeass 80s retro melancholia digitized and pushed so far past pastiche it turned into pure slime. the phone call in There’s A Light Out On The Horizon came straight from the void

https://soundcloud.com/johnnyjewel/chromatics-kill-for-love-album

#25 actress ghettoville

the only genuinely post-apocalyptic music. specifically the postapocalypse in wall-e but if there was no wall-e to clean it up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCPdfUFq6k

#26 playboi carti die lit

every beat on this album was reducible to a 4-second loop that perpetually demanded its own repetition and playboi carti somehow knew exactly what to do with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2pjiKmhlAI

#27 charli xcx vroom vroom

the charli xcx that came after this was fun, but there was black hole levels of power compacted into when she said vroom vroom on Vroom Vroom

https://soundcloud.com/vroomvroomrecordings/charli-xcx-vroom-vroom

#28 pacific breeze: japanese city pop, aor & boogie 1976-1986

it’s kind of amazing to think that this compilation only exists because vaporwave aesthetics made ‘japanese grocery-store kitsch from the 80s’ a marketable thing in the us. anyway every single one of these is an absolute bop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl91bvEKj20

#29 young thug barter 6

i can’t get enough of listening to young thug’s voice. i’ve seen his rhythmic-melodic-textural sensibility described as virtuosic and i don’t know really if that term means anything but it feels right to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg9ZxQKSDuw

#30 magic eye babylon

smeared dreamy lo-fi guitar music w wistful buried melodies pushed to an extreme. every song sounded the same and i wish there was more than the one cassette

https://magiceye.bandcamp.com/track/flame

#31 tirzah devotion

you could say this was ‘stripped down’ r&b but i think more accurately what separated it was that every sound stood exactly and only for itself

https://tirzah.bandcamp.com/track/basic-need

#32 mount eerie clear moon

it’s amazing how well mount eerie navigated the move from a lo-fi sound/mode/affect to a hi-fi sound/mode/affect. clear moon wasn’t his first attempt but it was the one that most embodied the feeling of the new possilibities that had been opened up

https://pwelverumandsun.bandcamp.com/track/through-the-trees-pt-2

#33 kelela aquaphoria

this mix was such a good idea it immediately seemed shocking nobody else had tried afaik. and kelela executed it so well you forgot the tracks already existed in other contexts

https://soundcloud.com/kelelam/aquaphoria

#34 james ferraro skid row

not sure what it means that the only james ferraro i really love is also the one i think of as the least abstract/conceptual. his recited lyrics had a rare spoken-word-poetic power

https://breakworldrecords.bandcamp.com/track/to-live-and-die-in-la

#35 salyu x salyu s(o)un(d)beams

absolutely unbounded sense of joy and creativity and possibility hovering between bangers-lite and ‘soundscape’-y electronic manipulation

https://soundcloud.com/snouu/salyu-x-salyu-s-o-un-d-beams

#36 dj rashad just a taste vol 1

double cup got all the press but it was so smoothed-over it could never have done something as absurdly beautiful as Ghost or even Go Crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuHPAbte9U

#37 yves tumor serpent music

i’m sorta put off by the high-gloss sheen of music like this but serpent music somehow had the right combination of total cohesion and a ridiculous density of impactful moments

https://soundcloud.com/pan_hq/yves-tumor-the-feeling-when-you-walk-away-pan-73?in=pan_hq/sets/yves-tumor-serpent-music-pan

#38 maral mahur club

lo-fi beat collage elevated to something that could actually genuinely be called world music

https://astralplanerecordings.bandcamp.com/track/avesta-khani-reggaeton

#39 lucki ecks watch my back

did not expect this super low-stakes sadboy trap to end up on this list but i love his min-effort flow and somehow every beat is exactly the vibe even when the tracks aren’t volume balanced

https://soundcloud.com/boob7/leave-wit-you-prod-plu2o-nash-clams-casino?in=boob7/sets/watch-my-back

#40 arca stretch 2

not sure why i get more out of arca’s nonsense broken-beat non-rap than any of her later projects

https://unonyc.bandcamp.com/track/tapped-in

#41 klein only

a new way to do fucked up noise w pop leanings. ‘audacitycore’

https://klein1997.bandcamp.com/track/pretty-black-2

#42 city arcadia

another mysterious transmission, this time w lots of harp

https://soundcloud.com/halcyon-veil/city-arcadia

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gosatsuvns · 6 years

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Weekly Update #198 - Welcome To Jurassic June!

It's finally time! Jurassic June has arrived, meaning that it has actually been an entire year now ever since we publicly unveiled our next murder mystery GENBA no Kizuna! Because of that, I thought I'll use the first blog post of this year's Jurassic June to not only give you an overview of what we have planned for this month, but also to take a look back at what has happened over the past 12 months, what kind of things have changed and how the development of our new visual novel project is progressing in general. So without further ado, let's get right into it!

First of all, for those of you who might have stumbled upon GENBA only recently and might therefore be wondering... What exactly is Jurassic June and why did we pick this month to make the initial reveal?

Jurassic June is mainly a month for fans to celebrate the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise, but I guess in a broader sense, dinosaurs in general. So now you might be asking, okay, and what does that have to do with GENBA? Well, the direction and theme of GENBA have been heavily influenced by my love and passion for all things Jurassic.

I've been a dinosaur nerd ever since kindergarten and one day, after having already come up with the basic idea for GENBA, while thinking about its setting... I decided to have it themed around dinosaurs. Similar to how our previous project, SHINRAI - Broken Beyond Despair, is themed all around Halloween (another thing I'm very passionate about).

But even in SHINRAI, I couldn't help but hide a Jurassic Park reference here or there...

My first idea for GENBA was to actually have the murder occur in the dinosaur section of a natural history museum. But over time, the idea evolved and the setting eventually turned into the Kaseki Residence. Once home to the late paleontologist Prof. Dr. Genshi Kaseki, it is now owned by his grandson, Ryuunosuke Hazama, who lives there together with his three friends, all of whom are enormous dinosaur nerds. So, just like with SHINRAI's Halloween theme, the dinosaur theme in GENBA is well reflected in the design of its characters and location:

(And as you can probably imagine, there are Jurassic Park references to be found here as well, because how could I resist? w)

Still, as much fun as I'm having with this theme and setting, this isn't just about me indulging in my passion for dinosaurs. Just like with SHINRAI, the two most important factors for me in regards to this project are providing a compelling mystery as well as compelling characters. As a matter of fact, it's the characters who always take the top spot for me when it comes to working on such a project, so I put a lot of effort into creating GENBA's cast.

We have already introduced the four playable protagonists last year. You can check out their profile cards in the GENBA section of our website. However, these four just make up one part of the full picture. We have four investigators/detectives and, of course, a victim. However, you still need a little more than that in a murder mystery. While witness characters, for example, could be a nice addition, they rather fall into the "optional" category, though. You don't necessarily need any to write a murder mystery. But there is something else you need rather desperately. One other category of characters outside of "victim(s)" that is absolutely essential: "suspects".

GENBA no Kizuna will provide a total of four suspects. And this Jurassic June, we want to focus on them a little more.

You might have already seen a bit of them here or there if you've been following us for a while and, of course, patrons have been able to check out the initial design sketches ever since last year. But I thought it's about time to finally reveal them publicly, so please look forward to that later this month (or check out our Patreon if you want to learn more right now)!

Of course, there are a few other things I want to show and talk about this Jurassic June as well, but for now, I'd like to get back to GENBA in general and, as promised in the beginning, talk a bit about the past 12 months and the state of our progress.

If you take a look at the initial character introduction cards I posted last year and compare them with the ones currently found on our website, you will undoubtedly notice that they have changed a bit. Some changes might be more obvious, others a little more subtle. A lot of tiny details have changed over the course of this past year, like the story now taking place in September rather than June, or Rei's age having been adjusted. Everything has been a constant work-in-progress right down to such seemingly insignificant details. That's actually one of the main things I've been working on ever since last Jurassic June: ironing out the details and direction of the story. I wish I could talk about this in more detail, but due to spoilers, I guess that will have to wait until after the game has been released. Maybe in the extras section or something, haha.

Either way, I'm more certain and even more confident about many story-related things now compared to one year ago. And to me, that is a big step. Writing an engaging murder mystery really is no easy task. With a story so heavily relying on logic and realism there is a lot of research required. The devil truly lies in the detail.

It's very difficult to give a percentage of how much progress has been made or an estimate of how long it might take until the game will be finished. I've tried that in the past with SHINRAI, only to realize that I've always been way off, so I'd rather not make promises I cannot keep again. You always have to keep in mind that, in the end, we're just a team of basically two people, so... it sadly takes a while. Especially in the beginning because, when starting a new project, the workload is extraordinarily high. You literally have nothing and need everything: sprites, backgrounds, CGs, music, a written script, sound effects, a fully designed and coded GUI and so on and so forth. That's what we've mainly been dealing with over the past 12 months: asset creation.

On the flipside, this also means that, the more assets are created, the faster we will be able to make coding progress. After all, it's not like each and every chapter needs the exact amount of new assets. Eventually, you will have all the expressions you need for a character, for example. When we got to the final chapter of SHINRAI, all of Raiko's sprites were already there. Same with most of the other characters. So rather than having to spend a lot of time creating more assets again, we could mostly use those we had already created for the previous chapters. GENBA will be very much the same. The closer we will get to the end, the more drastically the workload will subside. But of course, right now, there is still a lot to do.

That's the downside of being a tiny indie dev. So, if you'd like to support us, please consider checking out our Patreon. We would appreciate it a lot. And to those of you who have been supporting us there or even still are: thank you so much! It really makes a difference and helps us out a lot. Without this additional help, it would be very difficult to commission Solo Acapello for GENBA's soundtrack or to compensate our proofreader Ariette for her work.

Still, I do have to admit that, even if things once again took way longer than expected, overall I'm very happy and proud regarding the progress we have made so far. I mean, hey, at the very least, we have finally managed to release a first demo for GENBA! And we're hard at work to follow up with that extended demo as soon as possible.

Anyway, this is starting to get a little too long I guess, so I should probably wrap this up. I will tell you more throughout the rest of Jurassic June and I hope you're as excited to learn about our suspects as I am to finally reveal them in public!

Patrons can actually get an early look at a bunch of things I have planned to show publicly later this month and check out various WIP-postings, including the first one for this month's Jurassic-themed artwork! And speaking of monthly artworks, don't forget to check out the one Natsu drew for May, which was themed all around tsuyu, the rainy season:

As always, patrons can download a higher resolution version over here.

The image features one of GENBA's four main characters, Himatsu Mizu. She does not appear in our current demo yet, but patrons can learn a little more about her by checking out not only her introduction scene in GENBA, but even her original introduction scene from... 2008!??

So yeah, I guess that's about it. Please enjoy the rest of your weekend! Until next Saturday, take care, and... Happy Jurassic June! :3

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liztalksmusic-blog · 6 years

Text

Let’s talk about (cancelled)shows and ghosts and shows and clothes designs and shows and shows okay...: Made In America Tour Blog #1

Simply put, yesterday was fucking WILD. I don’t even know where to begin. Aspen and I dragged our asses out of bed at 2:30am on less than 3 hours of sleep, got ready and drove up to the venue in Denver. By the time we were in line and settled it was a few minutes before 6. The morning was uneventful; I grabbed us coffee, we awkwardly ignored advances from the homeless population of downtown Denver, and freezed our asses off. Yesterday was probably the coldest I’ve EVER been. It wasn’t terribly cold all day, but the venue was in the shade and it was super windy-- we got maybe 30 minutes of sun in 11 hours. I kept finding excuses and things to do to walk around so I could feel my feet again. Time went by quickly, and the line grew a lot slower than expected. Considering it was a Saturday, I expected a few early people and for the line to noticeably start growing around noon, but it stayed quiet and laidback. The day had weird ass vibes from the beginning .Everyone was tired and no one wanted to be social. I chalked it up to it being the weather, but looking back I now know the day was cursed from the beginning.

The line gained a few people, most of which I recognized from past shows. After trying to sleep for a few hours and failing considering how god-awful cold it was and how under-dressed we were, Aspen and I decided it was time to run a few errand before the line started really growing and things started to get more lively and hectic-- even though that never actually ended up happening; more on that later.

We found this cute sandwich place, which was refreshingly clean and friendly for the particular area of town we were in. The girls working there were great and for $5, I was stoked for a ham and swiss. I wasn’t expecting much for the price but it ended up being one of the best subs I’ve ever had. They were like a bistro crossed over with a Subway, topped off with overpriced drinks and cute decor. They were called Stack-- check ‘em out if you’re ever in the area, or going to a show at the summit.

I was able to sleep for a few minutes after warming up and filling my tummy, but was very abruptly awoken by the jarring sound of a construction vehicle of some sort backing up about 10 minutes after I dozed. There was a ton of construction going on right in front of the venue so anytime we had to go to the car crossing streets was a bitch.

Then things started going downhill. We had found out a few hours earlier via twitter that one of the opening bands, Sleep On It, were stuck in Wyoming. (Which by the way, if you haven’t already, check them out. 200% worth it. The band, not Wyoming. FUCK Wyoming.)

Not a big deal, we thought, maybe they’ll stick make it. As the day went on, we continued to fit more pieces into the puzzle. Chapel, another one of the opening bands was stuck with them. The reason being that I-80 was closed due to weather conditions and since it’s Wyoming and no one who loves themselves would choose to live there, I guess there weren’t many options. It’s my understanding that everyone was either stranded, or trying to get out the same way which means stop and go traffic for God knows how long. We realized this meant it was a very real possibility that As It Is (another opener) and Waterparks could be stuck, but they had been silent on social media so we really had no way of knowing. While originally stressed about there only being 2 bands on the bill instead of 4, we started stressing about whether there was going to be a show AT ALL.

But we continued to wait and suffer through the cold. I shut my eyes in an attempt to catch a few more Z’s, but woke up very quickly to the sound of a british accent in the entryway to the venue next to me. As It Is is here! There’s still hope! They started loading in their stuff, but it eventually got back to everyone (via someone w As It Is-- I’m not sure if he’s the temporary replacement for Andy or a roadie, either way it was a very nice long-haired blonde dude) that the only reason As It Is had made it was because they made it through before the interstate totally closed down and took a different route-- Waterparks did not. At this point, we were just waiting for the official announcement that the show was going to be cancelled, especially considering it was around 3pm at this point.

After sometime passed, Patty Walters (lead vocals and frontman for As It Is) brought out some hot tea and coffee for those of us in line. It was a really kind gesture and genuinely really helpful and pleasant because as mentioned earlier, it was cold as shit. Not many band dudes I know would go out of their way to do something like that-- Patty Walter is just a really fuking nice dude. We asked him what the deal was with the show-- he basically told us that for now the show was still happening as planned and we would probably have more news within the hour.

It became clear even if the show was going to happen, VIP wouldn’t, because at this point it was physically impossible. A half hour later we had a conversation with a venue employee who told us that show was still happening-- it was going to be super last minute and they may have to push back doors an hour or an hour and a half, but it was going to happen because they were on the way. Hope had returned, and the mood lifted and became less stressful. More people began showing up and everyone seemed to come to me to ask me what the fuck was going on and where they should line up--apparently I’m super approachable or seem to hold some sense of authority. Moms made beelines for me and asked me all their questions.

Another venue employee came out and gave us an update--the show was on and VIP would happen afterward. They would funnel everyone else out of the venue and we would stick around and do it then. They would find a way to also make sure everyone who had VIP still got early entry, but at that point they didn’t have the necessary list and it was still very up in the air as far as when doors were going to be.

The sun was going down now and the wind was picking up, and the cold became somehow more bitter and miserable. But we held on to the hope that it would all be worth it once the show began, and were even looking forward to a longer set from As It Is and for post-show VIP to not be rushed since the following day was an off day. Then finally, the inevitable happened; just before 5:30, venue employees came out to tell us the show was cancelled; Waterparks wasn’t anywhere close enough to making it in time to play a show. They told us how refunds would work and that they were offering a show at another Denver venue they owned for the opening bands if they wanted it for the following night. The bands all tweeted out that the show was cancelled and everyone at the venue was just disappointed and cold.

Everyone there was really hoping that since As It Is was there with all their equipment that maybe they would play an acoustic set outside considering there was less than 30 of us, but that didn’t happen. In my experience, the guys in As It Is are nothing but incredibly kind to their fans and I’m certain there’s a good reason that they couldn’t or didn’t. Patty did come out again to chat and meet everyone who was still at the venue, which was kind. I talked with him about Aspen and I’s travelling to the next few shows and got him to film something for my vlog (which will be up in the next day or two-- subscribe and turn on post notifications for my channel here to see it when it goes up as well as future content), and left.

When it comes to the show being cancelled, I’ll just say this-- at first I was upset and a little angry. Not at any of the bands or venue staff because none of this was any of their faults in the slightest-- I was just very angry and disappointed with the situation. As far as I know they had never cancelled a show and we just got unlucky-- I’m sure they wouldn’t have cancelled if they didn’t absolutely have to, and I’m also sure they did everything they could to try and make it happen. Unfortunately, there’s just some situations we don’t have control over. I had been waiting outside in the freezing cold since 6am and was upset I had wasted my time and really bummed a hometown show wasn’t happening, but at the end of the day I’m glad everyone on the tour ended up safe and incredibly thankful that I still had 5 more opportunities to see them--most people counting on that show weren’t so lucky. I do feel really bad for Aspen as this was the only show she had VIP for and they’re sold out for the rest of them-- I know having a minute with the guys meant a lot to her and that this is a really, really rough time of year for her. Myself and a few friends are trying to figure out if there’s anything that can be done for her in regard to VIP for upcoming shows, but nothing as of yet.

I also give mad props to Sleep On it and Chapel-- Chapel held an event in Denver today (A Sunday Brunch at a Denver IHOP to hang out with Denver fans who missed out on a show and celebrate their New EP, “Sunday Brunch”. I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet, but I’m planning on listening to is on this drive and I’ve heard nothing but good things about it. Check it out, it’s on Spotify), and Sleep On It took the offer from the venue to book a show at another venue and invited some Denver local bands to open. Only $10 and SOI got a headlining show, which is pretty cool. I talked to a solid handful of people yesterday that were mainly there for Sleep On It, so that’s really rad for them. I’d be there if I could, but Aspen and I decided it’d be best to not try to do our drive to Kansas overnight considering the amount of overnight drives we DO have to make over the next few days.

Anywho, back to what happened after the show was officially cancelled. Inviting a few girls behind us in line that we had met at a Waterparks show in February, we all went to a wendy’s near by to eat our feelings and try to not think about the negatives of the situation. The plan was to stop by Walmart on the way home to grab a few last minute things we needed for the rest of our trip on the way home and then get a full nights’ sleep before heading out for an 8 hour drive to Kansas the next day, but we were met with a very unexpected and slightly terrifying setback.

You see, whilst in this wendy’s chatting and enjoying our food, a fist-fight broke out in the lobby. Honestly not unusual for this particular strip of downtown Denver, but still startling. What was more startling was how oblivious the employees were. Although my memory of the whole thing is a little fuzzy due to lack of sleep, I remember it didn’t last long and they went outside to seemingly cool off. Before too long they started violently fighting in the parking lot and one of the guys reached for his belt in a way that one would reach for a concealed carry if they had one. Here’s the thing; I don’t fuck around with guns. Especially not with how many violent shootings have taken place the past few months in the US, and in the past few weeks in particular in the Colorado Springs and Denver areas. The employees went outside to break it up and they left, but we decided it would be best to leave.

On the way out, an old guy asked me “Girl, do you take them shots like Nicki Minaj?”Not entirely sure what he meant, but just assuming it was a comment about my ass, because, I mean, it’s Nicki Minaj. If this means something else, please enlighten me. Again, not an usual to be uncomfortably hit on by dirty homeless men in this part of town, but still a weird note to leave the Wendy’s on. We sat in our car while we waited for one of the girls we were with’s ride to show up.

While we were waiting, the guy who was acting like he had a gun earlier came back. He was circling the parking lot in his car, and eventually parked the car and got out, like he was looking for the guy from earlier. This happened like four times and he had a murderous look in his eye. At this point I was honestly shocked no one had called the cops yet-- was it that much of a casually regular situation in this part of town? I was starting to get more scared of the fact that this guy probably had a gun and was angry, so I called the cops. I guess at some point someone else had already called, because while talking to the operator like 6 squad cars showed up. She told me to go ahead and hang up and talk to the officers on the scene instead since they were already there. This led to us sitting out in the cold, again, for another solid half hour while the cops collected information on the guy and asked us questions about what we saw and such. This guy made the mistake of sticking his head around the corner and we told the officer, who ended up finding and detaining the guy in an alleyway a few minutes later. Turns out the guy just had a knife, not a gun, but was lying to the cops about the car being his when they traced the plates back to him. I don’t know exactly what the deal with the dude’s car was, but I’m pretty sure they were fake or from a stolen car based off the overheard conversation between officers and watching them take the plates off the car. We answered a few more questions, gave our contact info, and FINALLY left.

We made a few errands on the way home and passed out at my apartment in CO Springs around 11, too tired to function. After a lot of typical travel setbacks this morning, we finally got on the road to Kansas around noon and at this point I’m praying to any God there may be out there that the rest of this trip goes better than expected, or at least as planned. We’re about 3 hours away from our AirBNB in Lawrence, KS now and the sunset is pretty rad. Enjoy this low quality picture of a high quality sky:

The plan is to get a full nights’ sleep and get in line early for the Lawrence show tomorrow; Not 6am early, but still early. We’re gonna be going on no sleep for some of these shows, so we wanna take advantage of the off days and the nights when we’ll actually be able to sleep in a bed. It’s still kind of surreal that after all the time we spent planning this trip that we’re actually getting to do this kind of travel. Even though I’ll be spending most of my time sleeping or waiting outside venues, I’m really excited to see parts of the country I’ve never seen before and for the experiences I’m gonna have, for better or for worse. Thank you for doing it with me; I’m gonna try to catch a nap and work on some other stuff, but I’ll be back in a day or two to update on my experiences and hopefully, a show. (I don’t know why another would get cancelled, I’m just afraid to expect anything in fear of being disappointed again at this point). Holy shit, I just realized this is like 8 pages. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking around. See ya in Lawrence!

--LIZ

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