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arataka-reigen · 6 months

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Fall Anime Lineup Review by yours truly 🙋‍♀️🍄🌻

This season, I decided to watch as many anime as I could just for funsies :^) in total, I have started 19 shows, and I will be reviewing most of them here to help you decide whether to give any of them a go or not.

(This review will include exclusively animes that debuted this fall, so no second seasons or continuing shows from the summer season)

I will be classifying these anime in three categories: "definitely worth the watch," "anime i've dropped," and "not a masterpiece, but check it out if you like the premise"

Reminder that this is my personal list, and as such it 100% reflects my personal tastes (like my preference for female main characters and yuri shows)

So I might give 5 stars to shows other people would find bad, and that's okay! I invite others to make their own lists as well <3 (insert lets take ibuprofen together meme here)

(Last thing: i've added cw for only a few shows, and this is by no means an extensive list of all possible triggers for any of these shows, so watch at your own risk and if you want more info you can always ask or dm me)

Without further ado, let's get on to it (under read more because im not a jerk to make you scroll past All That)

Definitely worth the watch / Top 5 Shows of the Season

The Apothecary Diaries

Summary: Drama, Historical, Medical, Mystery. An apothecary gets kidnapped and forced to work in the emperor's palace as a low-level servant. She is determined to quietly work until her years of servitude are over, but when the emperor's infants fall ill, Maomao uses her medical abilities to solve the mystery of their illnesses and accidentally attracts attention to herself, being brought to work in the inner palace instead.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: This show is incredibly well animated and voice acted. The characters are brilliant and the stories are beautifully touching. It appears to be slightly episodic so far, with Maomao having to solve a new mystery or save someone's life every episode, but there is still a sense of a continuous story being told and I can't wait to see where it goes.

The strongest part of this show is definitely the MC. Maomao is incredibly competent, self-assured, and a no-nonsense person, but she is also completely obsessed with drugs and poisons, going so far as to test them out on her own skin and become completely giddy when she is presented with the opportunity to work with drugs in the inner palace.

Another great quality is the sorority between women, Maomao was raised in the red light district, and the courtesans there taught her a lot about life, which Maomao applies to her everyday life.

If you only have time to watch one anime this season, this is the one I'd tell you to watch.

CW: self-harm, child death, kidnapping, classism.

Edit to add one more cw: pedophilia (it is treated as a bad thing and not endorsed, but it caught me by surprise while i read the manga so i thought to warn this is an upcoming topic that will probably appear on ep 6)

Sousou no Frieren

Summary: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy. What happens when you are a 1000 year old elf who has to live on after your friends' death? For 10 years, Frieren and her companions fought against the demon king, disbanding after he was defeated. The story accompanies Frieren after Himmel, the Hero, dies, and she has to come to terms with the fact that the short 10 years she spent with him have made a big change in her life.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: Much like The Apothecary Diaries, Frieren's tale is not full of battles and fast paced episodes, actually it is slightly episodic, accompanying Frieren as she goes around collecting spells (that's her hobby) and traveling around the land through all the places she went with her party back in the day, seeing their statues and getting to experience new things while trying to figure out what those 10 years of adventuring meant to her.

This is MadHouse we are talking about, so of course, the animation is one of the strongest attributes. Sound design is also very good, you get to feel the quiet moments and appreciate them. The ending song is so good.

Also like Apothecary, Frieren's greatest qualities are the characters, especially the MC and the feelings they have to face.

Tumblr loves characters haunting the narrative right?? You guys are gonna love Himmel, the Hero istg

CW: death, grief, mild violence.

My New Boss is Goofy

Summary: Iyashikei, Workplace, Comedy. Momose used to be harrassed by his last boss so he decided to quit his job and joing a different company. Momose's new boss, Shirosaki, is an airhead and being in his presence is a fun and healing time for Momose

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: SALARYMEN YAOI. This show will heal your soul. The animation is simple but pretty, the cute effects like the ones on the gif above really help set the mood of a cute show. You've heard of cute girls doing cute things on anime, now get ready for cute salarymen doing cute things such as adopting a cat and naming it their shipname, riding the merry go round together, etc.

Also, may I offer you a canon bi/pan male character who is not embarrassed to come out?

Btw this is iyashikei, so nothing really happens, that's the whole premise of this genre. No drama, only healing. Idek if there is anything i could put as content warning. CW: cuteness overload.

I'm in Love with the Villainess

Summary: Isekai, Fantasy, Comedy, Girls Love. Rei wakes up in the body of the hero of her favorite otome game. Her favorite character in that game happened to be the villain, though, so now she is determined to dedicate herself to pursuing the villainess.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: I debated a lot whether or not to include this on my top 5, but the incredibly deep and honest discussion about sexuality on ep 4 definitely swayed my decision in its favor. The animation is nothing special tbh and at times can feel very static, but the character design is good enough for me.

This anime is like if Maria from Hamefura was the one who got isekaid and then fell in love with OG Katarina, so... yeah, of course I love it.

It seems that this anime will go in some interesting and unexpected directions as well in the future so I consider this is a must watch of the season.

CW: classism, discussions of homophobia, mc can come off as a bit of a stalker,

To complete my top 5:

I'm Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness

Summary: Romance, Comedy, Fantasy. Despite being innocent, Charlotte is accused of evil deeds, has her engagement annulled, and is forced to flee her country. While crossing the forest, running away from royal guards, she collapses near the residence of one man known as "The Demon Lord"

When he hears her story, said Demon Lord decides to let her live with him and teach her all about the naughty things in life (such as splurging on clothes, eating dessert instead of dinner, and playing games all night long).

Rating: ★★★★★

Review: EXTREMELY WHOLESOME. You'll be cheering for these two to get together in no time at all.

It's kinda like My Happy Marriage, but with less drama lol the female lead was raised as a servant in her own home, much like Miyo, and then gets rescued by a male lead who wants her to learn how to assert herself and live for herself, pursuing her dreams and valuing her own life.

Not a single moment with the male lead so far has been anything but incredibly wholesome and funny, Allen is genuinely a good person who wants Charlotte to heal for her own sake. He gets incredibly happy when she hides a secret from him because it means she is becoming her own person.

So far, this anime hasn't had a single problematic trope this type of romance anime usually has, and i don't think it will. What it does have are fun tropes like: "and there was only one bed", side characters hardcore shipping the MCs, male lead who is genuinely a good person but laughs and talks like a villain, etc.

ALSO, this series has not one but TWO catgirls <3

I could genuinely talk about all five of these animes for hours, but I still have lots of others to review. Hit me up if you want to talk abt any of them, though, i'm gonna be super happy.

Honorable Mention:

Spy X Family Season 2

Rating: ★★★★★

Anime I've dropped or will probably drop soon

The Vexations of a Shut-in Vampire Princess

Summary: Comedy, Fantasy, Vampire. Komari is a shut-in vampire who is weaker than most vampires because she refuses to drink blood. One day, she wakes up to the news that she was appointed as commander of a unit of the imperial army and must now do her best to win wars and survive while all the vampires under her command fight for her position

Rating: ★½ (a full star is too much, so I'll give it half a star)

Review: This one is bad, fam. The reason I found why it is so bad can be summarized in a 3 words: the male gaze.

Komari is filled to the brim with yuri bait, with every female character being into the MC, but all of it is 100% targeted to male audiences. This show is NOT classified as shoujo ai, so i wouldn't get my hopes up and ultimately dropped it after only the first episode.

If you need one more reason to Not watch this, I'll let you know that in less than 10 minutes of the first episode the MC almost pisses herself because that's a thing they decided to include for no reason at all.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-rank Adventurer

Summary: Adventure, Fantasy. After losing his leg as a newbie adventurer, he retires and returns to his hometown, becoming a handyman for the village. One day, while searching the mountains for herbs, he finds a child and raises her.

His grown-up daughter leaves to become an adventurer herself, and after years, she hasn't returned home not even once...

Rating: ★½

Review: Oh, I wanted this one to be good so badly 😭 it was one of the animes I was most looking forward to after reading the premise. Actual dilf character who is in his 40s and not in his 20s? I wanted it to be good. But, alas, it is bad. There is nothing problematic with it at all, the anime is straight up just bad. Bad animation, horrible pacing, terrible exposition, abhorrent setup of the story, not enough moments dedicated to setting up the story and making the characters interesting at all.

I Shall Suvive Using Potions!

Summary: Isekai, Fantasy. The God of Earth accidentally kills Kaoru and, as compensation, offers to lead her to a new life in another world with any power buff she wishes for. She chooses to be able to make potions with any effect of her choice, infinite storage space, and other stuff

Rating: ★

Review: ngl the first half of the first episode was pretty interesting, with Kaoru dying and then bargaining for compensations, but after this it just gets very very very boring. Nothing too bad about this one, it's just not worth anyone's time.

Tearmoon Empire

Summary: Fantasy, Time Travel, Comedy. Following her execution at the guillotine by the hands of the revolutionary army, Mia Luna Tearmoon wakes up to learn she has returned to when she was 12 years old, before the downward spiral and decline of the empire that led to her death. She finds her bloodied future diary, and decides to use it to change events to ensure she doesn't end up at the guillotine once again.

Rating: ★

Review: i honestly still don't know where i stand with this anime. It's got an interesting premise, but the development of the story is not at all interesting. This and the S-rank Daughter anime are under a category of "animes i wish had better writers."

CW: death, torture

The Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch

Summary: Fantasy, Comedy, Gag Humor. Alyssa, a witch who lives alone in the forest, picks up an abandoned human baby one day. 16 years later, Viola had not only grown into a daughter who adores Alyssa, but also into a woman of exceptional proportions, and the people around them mistook Viola for Alyssa's mother

Rating: ★★

Review: it pains me to drop this one ngl, as it is a very sweet mother & daughter story and I feel like we don't get enough of those. The story can be very wholesome at times, and i've had more than a few good laughs with it. But it's just not interesting enough to keep you watching, and most of the jokes get old pretty fast. I'd recommend watching just the first episode because it is cute and funny enough by itself

Not a masterpiece, but check it out if you like the premise

Hoshizuku Telepath

Summary: Comedy, Girls Love, Supernatural. Fifteen-year-old Umika Konohoshi, with a love for aliens and space, is having a hard time socializing at school, but she hopes her words will someday reach other people. When self-proclaimed alien Yuu Akeuchi enters her life, Umika will learn more about being open.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: Just cute girls doing cute things + this one is actually classified as Shoujo Ai, so i have high hopes for a bit of romance. So far, it's just been very, very cute, wonderful animation, cute characters, cute interactions, cute everything

None of these characters are neurotypical btw.

I highly recommend this one, it almost made my top 5.

16bit Sensation: Another Layer

Summary: Time Travel, Workplace, Comedy, Otaku Culture. Konoha is an illustrator who loves beautiful girls and bishoujo games. She works at a video game studio and dreams of making bishoujo games. However, in the present, where mobile games are all the rage, Konoha spends her days as a sub-illustrator just coloring the back of background characters.

One day, after some happenings, Konoha got her hand on a masterpiece of a bishoujo game, and upon opening the package, she is suddenly taken back in time to the golden age of bishoujo games (the 90s). She joins a company named "Alcoholsoft" in pursuit of her dream of making games.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: Main character loves infodumping about her special interest so much she manages to get herself a time travel deal after infodumping on a random old lady.

This is another anime that almost made my top 5. It has a slow start and the continuity sometimes makes no sense ngl, but the premise is still very interesting. I was used to stories where characters get isekaid into a completely different time and space, but this girl is just sent back 30 years in time so she can witness the boom of her beloved bishoujo games.

The MC can get kind of annoying sometimes, but it isnt too unbearable, I still highly rec it.

Shy

Summary: Action, Super Powers, Drama. As the planet approached its third World War, individuals with superpowers appeared from around the globe to maintain peace. They became the symbols of their respective nations, striving to limit crime and bring evildoers to justice. Teenage heroine Teru "Shy" Momijiyama is Japan's representative in the world of heroes. When a mysterious threat called Amalareiks emerges, Shy must work together with her fellow heroes to stop them at all costs, all while dealing with her own feelings of inadequacy and shyness.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: a lot better than I expected, the myanimelist score does not do it justice istg. This season is full of shy and reserved main characters, but I feel like they get to be a lot more interesting than your usual shy characters. Both Hoshizuku Telepath and Shy deal with their shy characters in interesting ways and I rec both.

I also absolutely adore Iko, who is one of the first people saved by Shy in the anime, but she ends up badly hurt, which sends Shy into a spiral of doubt and fears.

CW: mild violence, death, grief, self hatred and suicidal thoughts

Migi and Dali

Summary: Comedy, Mystery, Suspense. Osamu and Youko want to adopt a child, due to their increasingly old age, they decide they can only take one kid. They decide to adopt Hitori, a gentle and beautiful boy.

However, Hitori's humble and overly polite exterior is merely a facade. In reality, Hitori is a carefully crafted character played by identical twins Migi and Dali. They did all that to be able to infiltrate their childhood town and uncover the mystery of their mother's death.

Rating: ★★★★

Review: This show is batshit insane and absolutely hilarious. These twins mistrust everyone around them and are constantly on edge to maintain the facade of being only one person, the extents they go to keep this up make for hysterical situations and I just couldn't stop laughing while being absolutely horrified by everything that goes on in this. This is a very disturbing anime, though, and the cw for this is gonna make you question whether or not you can trust my opinion, and you know what? I don't know if you should trust me either. But like,,, it really is that fucking funny. It is also just incredibly disturbing and fucked up as well, so watch at your own risk.

CW (this one is very problematic, don't say i didn't warn you): non sexual forced infantilization, non sexual forced pet play, non sexual groping, forced partial nudity, forced eating, minor incest vibes, implied murder, invasion of privacy, surveillance, classism, fursona, bullying, kidnapping and imprisonment. Most of these things happen to a minor, so.. yeah... not great...

If you would like more info on these cws before starting this anime, feel free to send an ask or dm me.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions

Summary: Mystery, Detective, Comedy. Totomaru wants to solve murders and help people, but lacks the skills for it. Following the advice of one of his seniors, he ventures out to enlist the aid of the reclusive Ron Kamonohashi. Five years ago, Ron was the most promising detective from the illustrious Detective Training Academy Blue; yet for reasons unknown to the public, he sank into obscurity.

The true reason Ron withdrew from the detective world was not from lack of desire, but rather from something out of his control—and Totomaru might just be the key for his return to his former calling.

Rating: ★★★

Review: This is the classic sherlock ripoff that comes around all the time. Not saying it is bad tho, it is quite fun and the dynamic between Toto and Ron is very good. The animation is pretty decent as well. I have only seen one episode so far, but I already like it.

Our Dating Story: The Experienced You and The Inexperienced Me

Summary: Romance, School. As part of a punishment game, Ryuuto is forced to confess to the girl he likes, Runa Shirakawa, a very popular student.

Runa doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment, so she simply agrees to date him.

They have different friends and ways to have fun, and they are different in almost every way. Nonetheless, they begin to relate with each other.

Rating: ★★★

Review: this romance is quite fun and cute, Runa is very carefree about her relationships and isnt embarrassed by things like sex or whatever, she is quite experienced (as the title says), but she has never experienced real love so she just goes around dating in search for it. Ryuuto is very different and gets embarrassed just thinking about holding her hand. He also wants to make her feel appreciated and figure out what her interests are, so he is one of the first dudes to actually treat her like a human being, which, god, it is so real how men take women for granted and this anime shows that by the juxtaposition of Ryuuto being an actual decent person.

Anyways, it doesn't get a higher recommendation from me because the main source of conflict so far in this anime is another female character, who hates the female lead. And that. Uhh. I don't like stories like this. Im a women loving eomen. Im a yuri enjoyer. Im a girl's girl. So, i'd enjoy it more if the antagonist wasnt a girl who hates the female lead. But it is good enough so far to give me hope that this will change in the future.

The Yuzuki Family's Four Sons

Summary: Slice of Life, School. The Yuzuki family, which consists of four brothers, lost their parents two years ago. Hayato, the eldest son, is a hard worker and the pillar of the family. Mikoto, the second son, is calm and collected, but he has a soft spot for his younger brother Minato, the third son, who is energetic and lovable, but clumsy and awkward. Gakuto, the fourth son, is a studious and mature first-grader who is often referred to as a "wise man." The story follows their daily lives.

Rating: ★★★

Review: this is the only actual shoujo of this list. The rest is either shounen or not classified as either. I have only watched one episode so far, so I can't say a lot about it, the first ep was cute and wholesome, as most slice of life is. I say go for it if you want some wholesome family.

Undead Unluck

Summary: Action, Comedy, Super Powers. For the past 10 years, Fuuko has been afflicted by a condition that brings extreme misfortune to anyone who touches her. This has resulted in the deaths of her parents.

As she stands on a bridge above train tracks, Fuuko is touched by a strange man, causing the footing underneath him to break and dropping him in front of an oncoming train. However, when Fuuko finds the man's corpse, she discovers that his body is regenerating and that he is coming back to life.

The man is immortal and wishes for death. Together, the two will look for the best death possible.

Rating: ★★

Review: god, this one is absolutely insane and so full of blood and death, help. But it is good, I had A Lot of fun with the first ep and I'll give it a chance because I can see myself getting really into the main couple. This is a hardcore shounen tho, so it does include some classically annoying tropes, especially since the dude has to touch her to be hit by her unlucky powers.

This season only had 2 shoujos, and one of them had a classic shoujo problem (problematic age gaps), so i didn't watch it. Here is to hoping next season has more shoujosei.

Thank you for reading until the end (wtf, are you crazy) and happy watching <3

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sassykattery · 6 months

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Dollface Pt. 8

CW: Main Character is afab, uses she/her pronouns. Profanity. Smut scene: piv sex. Creampie. Rough sex. Monsterfucking.

The main character is afab, uses she/her pronouns. This story is meant to be somewhat curvy/plus-sized reader insert, but the main character is given a physical description, but it's not crucial to the story or mentioned often after Part 1.

Themes: Romance. Magic. Adventure. Sex. Smut. Diavolo x fem! MC.

Characters: Main Character. Diavolo. Mammon. Satan. Beel. Belphie. Levi. Asmo. Lucifer. Mention Barbatos.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

"Darling? Are you alright? You acted like something spooked you," Diavolo commented after sipping on his macchiato. They were a couple minutes from her house. He sniffed his coffee silently, trying to place the peculiar smell he detected.

"A man approached me at the store... and he kinda weirded me out," she confessed and then drank her cold brew, keeping one hand on the wheel.

"You could've come and got me," he replied with concern, forgetting about his previous thoughts.

"It's fine. I just don't like men approaching me out of nowhere," she answered, sounding even more despondent then.

"May I ask, did something happen?" He inquired softly.

"Throughout my life, men have seen my apparent kindness as an invitation to flirt with me, or they want something from me. Most of the time, it hasn't ended well, and it's either because they wanted sex or just to use me for some other reason," she replied matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry, my love," he replied, reaching over for her hand once she set her drink down in the cup holder. She held his in return as she turned down her street.

"That's alright. Most of the time, I either avoid the confrontation or keep a distance so they don't feel inclined. That's also why you often see me with what we call a "resting bitch face," too," she added.

"I don't think that's very nice," he groaned as she pulled into the garage of the house.

"I suppose I self-deprecate a bit," she mused, turning off the car and closing the garage door with a smirk.

Both got out of the car and headed into the house. Once inside, Diavolo went into her bedroom, and she went to the front of the house to look through the mail on the counter. Her parents weren't home, away on some family reunion vacation with further removed family.

The doorbell suddenly rang, and she grabbed the mail to continue reading as she approached the front door. Unlocking it with one hand and still looking down, she opened up and heard,

"Hey there, uh, I gotta question," a male tenor stated. She immediately looked up and froze. Keeping her hand on the doorknob, using her index finger to lock the knob silently. She looked him up and down. It was the white-haired man from the coffee shop.

"Did you follow me home?" She accused, sounding defensive.

"Ah, well, uhh..."

"Just a heads-up, women don't like that, creep! Now get lost before I get my boyfriend," she snapped harshly, closing the door more so she was partially hidden behind it. Mammon backed up, raising his hands.

Diavolo's ears perked up at the sound of her raised voice. He approached the bedroom door and listened closer.

"I just came to ask if you've seen my friend!" Mammon shouted.

"And I'm telling you, you shouldn't have followed me home! And I'll call the cops if your other friend shows up here, too!"

Mammon leaned in closer. "Just let me finish–"

"DIA!" She screamed.

Immediately, Mammon high-tailed it off the front porch and into the silver sports car that sat on the side of the street. He quickly got in and sped off while she slammed the door shut. Diavolo was at her side just as the door clicked, hands on her waist and standing in her space.

"My love," he murmured, looking out the stained glass window on the front door. He looked back down at her and saw how she trembled, and it broke his heart. Taking her hand, he led her to the couch and sat her on his lap to console her. He briefly thought he smelled that peculiar smell from earlier but quickly dismissed the thought in favor of consolation of his human.

"Who was that?" He asked, running his hands up and down her arms to calm her down.

"A guy from the coffee shop! He followed me home!" She huffed, burying her face in his neck.

Diavolo instantly huffed and held her tighter. "I'm sorry, my darling. You should have had me talk to him," he murmured in her ear, caressing her trembling form. He took hold of her as he swung his legs around to recline back on the couch cushions, holding her on top of him.

"Thank you," she mumbled into his shirt.

All seven demon brothers were sitting in the penthouse of a hotel. None of them had been to this area of the United States, and they were starting to get closer to finding their lost prince.

"You moron! Now, if she sees you again, she's going to run for the hills!" Satan barked at Mammon.

"Oi! I didn't want whoever her boyfriend was to show up with a knife or somethin' in case he was crazy!" Mammon retorted, folding his arms.

"You're so stupid. A knife won't kill you," Belphie groaned.

"No, but if Diavolo thought I was some weirdo and he was actually there, he might have killed me," Mammon grumbled.

"Are we sure that's even her?" Levi asked, playing his handheld game.

"It seemed like it was. There aren't too many humans that look like her," Beel replied, eating his ill-gotten cheeseburgers. He had run off while Mammon and Satan were at the coffee shop to get cheeseburgers, to which he ordered thirty of them and managed to not pay for them as he wasn't given any money for it.

"There is one that does look like this one. She's a famous human makeup guru. You have to give it to this one. She's pretty good at it," Asmo declared, admiring the security footage photo of the woman in question.

"Run that by me again, Mammon," Lucifer commanded, standing at the window overlooking the city, interrupting the conversation.

"When she opened the door, I said I had a question. She accused me of followin' her, and when I didn't answer, she started yellin' at me that women don't like it when they're followed home before threatenin' to get her boyfriend," Mammon recounted the situation.

"Then?" Lucifer pressed.

"She screamed somethin' and I ran off to the car," the second born replied.

"The boyfriend's name? Did you catch it?" Satan inquired.

"All I heard was -ia," Mammon answered, looking nonchalant.

Lucifer turned and stalked up to the second born, smacking him upside the head. "Idiot! She probably said Dia!"

Mammon tched his older brother but realized he was ultimately right.

"Well? What do we do?" Satan asked.

"Can't we just break in her house and see if he's there? What if she's holding him hostage?" Belphie mused.

"One, no, we can't just break in. If he's not actually there, we'd be in a heap of trouble and don't need the exposure," Satan replied. He then held up the security photo of a man that looked like Diavolo and a woman holding hands while walking. "Two, I don't think she's holding him hostage judging by this."

"I suppose it's my turn to talk to her," Lucifer finally replied, walking towards the door and grabbing his overcoat.

"We don't have much time left."

Late one afternoon a couple of days later, she was in the city grocery store looking for things to make her birthday cake. Diavolo had requested to make one with her, wanting the experience of doing so while performing a task together, something he learned was important from his research on humans. While she was in the baking aisle, she had reached down to a bottom shelf to grab some flour when she found herself on the floor, ready to catch herself, but someone had taken hold of her sides to keep her from falling completely down.

"My apologies, ma'am, I didn't meant to run into you, forgive me," a very deep, slightly nasally and airy voice called to her right into her ear.

Once she was upright, she looked at the offender and cranked her head back to stare into a set of darkened eyes, and if she wasn't mistaken, they had a crimson hue to them, framed by jet-black locks with gray streaks on the ends of his face-framing pieces, stark against his ivory skin. The man was nearly as tall as her boyfriend, wearing a black turtleneck, black slacks, a dark blue overcoat, and a set of glasses hanging on chains around his neck.

"Um, thanks. It's fine," she quipped, stepping away from the man and grabbing onto her shopping cart.

He gave a rather charming smile and softened his gaze. She gave him a wary look, glancing from his shoes to his head several times. What she didn't know was how he had been following her for going on two days to find out more about her, or potentially see Diavolo, but came up with nothing and lost his patience. However, when he was finally close and in her space, he realized he had actually made a mistake.

Oh.

"Ah, I must apologize again for staring. You are quite magnetic," he purred.

She frowned then, looking up at him under her brow.

"Thank you, but I'm committed to someone," she retorted, her body angled away from him.

"What a lucky person they are," he replied with an endearing smile, but she wasn't having it. The longer she stared at him, the more suspicious she became.

"Right, well, bye," she replied curtly.

Lucifer's gaze hardened again, a frown tracing his lips. She huffed before completely turning away and stomping off with her cart.

The eldest sighed, folding his arms and calculating his next move.

"Diavolo? What are we doing?" She asked with her hands out, searching blindly as the prince held his hands over her eyes. The demon let out a chuckle as he walked behind her.

"Just a few more steps... stop," he answered. "Alright, ready?"

"I guess," she mumbled, putting her hands down to her sides.

He lifted his hands off her eyes, and she blinked a few times to adjust. Looking down, she saw a book in front of her on her bed, one that was brown and leather bound with no title or markings. She reached to open it and saw photos of the last month or so with the demon, all the cherished life's moments held in singular photos. It was a photo album.

"I'm rather fond of these back at home, and I wanted to make one featuring my favorite person," he murmured in her ear. "Happy Birthday, baby."

She shivered as his breath tickled her neck and ear. There weren't many, but they were all the ones she had taken with her phone since he came into her life. His first coffee run with her, outings to dinner and movies, and selfies randomly taken throughout the day.

"Thank you," she turned and faced him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you like it."

"Love it," she mumbled into his sternum.

"Well, I think I have something you'll love more," he murmured softly to her.

"Hm?" She chirped, picking her head up to look at him.

He took the opportunity to cup her cheek and kiss her passionately, his other hand purchasing her waist. She hummed happily into his mouth, letting his tongue gain access to hers.

That afternoon, neither left her bed as he kept her completely occupied with his hands, mouth, and body.

A happy birthday indeed.

A couple of days later, she had been out running errands when a certain demon decided to run into her again. She was looking through some stationary at the office supply store when she dropped her pens she selected. With a sigh, she started to set her stuff down when she turned to find a pair of crimson eyes at her level, just as he was starting to stand at full height again.

"Well, it's you again," he beamed again.

"Yeah..." she mumbled. He handed her the pens she dropped, and she took them from his large hand, noting the red nail polish and long fingers. "Thanks."

"My pleasure. If you don't mind, would you be willing to show me which pens you like here? I'm rather picky and not from around here, so I'd like someone else's opinion," he murmured to her.

"Sure..." she replied, grabbing her things and walking around to the aisle with the pens. Setting her things down, she reached up and picked a couple. "I like the glide on these for taking down notes, and they're fast-drying so they don't smudge. These I prefer for making edits on things, the sharp color is really nice and I don't have to press too hard to get it to work." She continued on, showing him the different ones, but he quit listening the moment she started speaking. Lucifer was too busy admiring her form, appreciating her looks and expressions. She could make something as boring as pens seem interesting.

"So?" She asked.

"Pardon, I was considering which ones to get. What did you ask?" He asked smoothly.

"What's your name?" She asked again.

"Luci is what you may call me," he replied, bowing his head slightly. "And yours?"

She replied what hers was, and he repeated it like it was sweet honey on his tongue.

"I apologize if we got off on the wrong foot before. Thank you for helping me. If you don't mind, I'd like to treat you to coffee," Lucifer stated. She narrowed hers eyes, so he added, "As acquaintances."

"As acquaintances," she echoed.

"Thanks," she replied, taking her cold brew from Lucifer's hand. He nodded and sat next to her, drinking his own.

"So, tell me about yourself," he said.

"I just finished some university classes, but I'll be taking on a full-time job until I get into professional school," she replied quietly, looking around the coffee shop.

"Ah, a student," he mused. He thought for a moment and then asked, "Do you have siblings?"

She cocked her head and swirled her drink thoughtfully. "Just one sister. Older. We're not close. You?"

"I have six brothers, all younger," he replied, sounding despondent.

She smiled then. "Being the oldest of that many must be tough. You probably almost feel like their parent," she mused in return.

"Indeed, and by all means I practically am," he said with a sigh.

"As the youngest, it's not easy either. Even if you're bright, attractive, or anything else that's favorable, you'll always live in the shadow of your older siblings. Yes, most of the time, people are quite lenient with us, but knowing you'll never amount to your sibling is difficult when you pride yourself in your accomplishments... and nobody else does except you," she declared quietly.

Lucifer looked at her openly then, studying her face. He hadn't ever considered such a thing, but it made sense as to why his youngest brothers may have felt jaded when it came to him.

"I appreciate your perspective, actually. That's something I suppose I never have to deal with," he finally replied after she stared back at him. She nodded and took a drink.

"What do you do for a living, Luci?" She inquired, looking out the window.

"I work in the government as well as in education," he replied. "Though, looking after my brothers is more of a full-time job than anything else." He paused for a moment and then continued. "You said you have a partner, tell me about them."

"Ah, well, we've only been seeing each other for over a month, but we're incredibly happy. My parents adore him, and he's really just... something else," she replied with a sweet smile on her lips. The demon tilted his head at this, trying to calculate his next move, while also sorting through why he would be jealous in this moment, but that was for later.

"You sound very happy with him. How'd you meet?" He asked.

"It was kind of strange how we met... He just showed up one day, and he's been with me ever since," she replied dreamily.

Lucifer felt conflicted then. If this was Diavolo she was talking about, it sounds like he's not in trouble and likely has been playing house with this human. But, certainly, the prince wasn't kidnapped or in harm's way. He had managed to find himself a sweet woman who just liked him, maybe even loved him.

"I really should get going. Thank you for the coffee, Luci," she stated, coming to her feet while looking at her phone. "Maybe we'll bump into each other again."

Lucifer watched as she stood and walked away. A glimmer on her ring finger caught his eye, but he wasn't sure if maybe just the sun was playing tricks on his vision. Even after weeks in the human world, he wasn't entirely used to the blazing light.

Damn. Barbatos is going to be absolutely livid when he hears about this, he thought to himself as he watched her car leave the parking lot. He quickly stood to leave the shop and follow her in his red sports car.

"In the kitchen, darling," Diavolo called out to her as she came in the house through the garage. She bounded up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind after finding him.

"Hi," she purred.

He was standing at the stove, making a stir-fry for dinner while her parents were out of town. Though the moment her body collided with his, he straightened up and turned his head to the side.

"What..." he mumbled to himself. Diavolo put the spoon down and whirled around to look at her.

"What is it, b–"

"Were you with someone?" He asked defensively, looking her over. A particular smell radiated off of her, the smell he was finally able to place after being amongst the hunans for this long, one with a warning known to only demons. One that said, "Back off."

"What? I mean, I got coffee with someone, and I was just about to tell you about it. What's wrong?" She asked nervously.

"You..." He started to say and then pulled her into him. His brows were tightly knit, lips pressed into a thin line.

"I didn't do anything, I just–" she started to tremble, afraid he was mad. The demon deeply inhaled the scent from her hair, trying to place its familiarity.

"Who did you meet?" He asked roughly, his arm tightening around high on her waist.

"He said his name was Luci. Diavolo, what is this about?" She started to whine slightly.

"The scent of a demon followed you home, an intentional one at that," he murmured. He rubbed his chin back and forth across the top of her head, his other arm slithering around her. He growled ferally, a deep sound coming from the pits of his core, vibrating all across his body.

In a quick series of moves, he grabbed her by the waist and sat her on top of the bar across from the stove. His lips were on hers, furiously lashing his tongue against her mouth. The prince's hands were everywhere all at once, grabbing and caressing every which way across her body.

"You're mine," he snapped, kissing her neck and sinking his teeth into her delicate flesh.

"Baby, I'm sorry, p-please," she whimpered.

"I'm not–" he panted, "Not mad at you. Just let me take you, my love. Let me claim you again, make you mine."

She relaxed slightly and finally reciprocated his touch. "O-Okay... Yes, please," she whispered. He yanked off her shirt and tossed it. Not wanting to do it there anymore, he picked her up and quickly carried her to the couch in the living room, laying her back against the seat cushions while he worked her pants off and then her undergarments too.

"Mm, I love your body, your skin..." he purred, grinding himself against her. He swiftly tossed his shirt aside, followed by pulling down his lounge pants to release his hard, throbbing cock.

"Take me, Dia, make me yours," she murmured sweetly against his cheek.

"You're sure you're ready for me?" He asked a hit hesitantly, kissing her jaw.

"Now," she commanded, wrapping her legs around his waist.

He groaned and took hold of his length, rubbing the head up and down against her clit, spreading their fluids together and making them both moan. The head popped into her entrance with ease, opening up the rest of her cunt for his cock. He groaned again, his cock fully seated inside her, like it was his throne, like she belonged to him.

"Oh, my love," he rasped, a wicked smile threatening to cross his lips.

"Fuck me," she whimpered softly, clinging onto him.

"Gladly," he grunted, taking her legs onto his shoulders and pressing down into her. His thrusts started slow but deep, quickly building to a harsh pounding. Her moans quickly turned into wails of pleasure.

"You're all mine," he growled, leaning down to kiss her roughly. She blinked and suddenly he was in his demon form again, and she felt his cock thicken and throb inside her, causing an orgasm to barrel through her like a bullet train. This spurred him on to fuck her faster, gripping her thighs firmly as he folded her further into the mating press.

"Dia! It's too much!" She cried out, feeling another orgasm already burning within her core.

"Just–" he grunted, "A little– aghck, more." He was completely feral, watching her so intently with his glittering golden orbs fixated on her beautifully wrecked face.

Suddenly, he pulled her up, still sheathed on his cock, and he turned to kneel down to the floor, carefully laying her back, a move so tender, it was juxtaposed to how hard he fucked her once she was settled with her legs on his shoulders again.

"I love you," he groaned, feeling his inner knot begin to coil and start to snap.

"I-I l-l-love you-u!" She stammered back.

"I'm close," he rasped. He laid himself fully down on her, kissing her lips and trailing down to her breasts to lick and suck on her nipples. Her body curled in around him, a silent scream befalling her mouth as her whole body went rigid with pleasure.

"Dia, Dia, Dia!" She gasped, sounding strangled and pitiful.

"That's it, tighten down on me, make me yours too," he grunted. She turned her head and bit gently into his neck, feeling feral herself. It caught him by surprise, especially with how good it felt for her to mark him in return. It was enough for him to fall down the pits of pleasure, chasing his high and pounding his cock into her as he released spurts of hot cum.

His labored breaths filled the space around them. Carefully, he lifted himself up to look at her, suddenly a heavy weight of guilt on his chest.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @itsmeninerz @biteable-pink-pixie @flemmingbamse @themythicaldisaster @marvelous-maniac @attic-club-sandwich

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #obey me diavolo #obey me smut #diavolo x fem reader #diavolo smut #diavolo x fem oc #diavolo x female reader #diavolo x fem! mc #dollface #dollface fic #dollfic

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trashlie · 3 months

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Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

#Love and Deepspace #LADS Brainrot #LADS Rafayel #LADS Zayne #LADS Xavier #LADS Caleb #LADS Sylus

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friendofthecrows · 2 years

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I love AO3 because it is the only place on the internet where you do not need to worry about your works, or other people's works that you love, being deleted. You also know you can comfortably talk about anything you want. And I can properly tag it so that those likely to be triggered can block it.

For example, on Tumblr, if I wanted to discuss something dark, serious, or of a taboo topic, like say, eating disorders or anything sexual, I used to be able to tag it so that people triggered by those topics don't see it.

Now? If I talk about my experience with eating disorders and attempt to encourage others to recover, all with an educational and honest mindset, if I tag it with any of the common tags to get it seen by those people, I risk my entire blog being deactivated.

I have literally had this happen before. That is how my last blog died.

Now, if I want to make sure I don't see those topics, I can't block the tags because the people talking about them aren't tagging them properly. They don't want to be deactivated, so when they talk about them, it's with no tags or the wrong tags.

The amount of triggering pr0/*na stuff I've seen on my dash lately is ridiculous despite the fact my blocked tags look like this:

And so on.

Or think about an egregious example...wattpad. I don't want your shitty alpha mate erotic self insert bts fanfic. You know what I can do on AO3? Filter literally any of those terms out.

You know what I have to do on wattpad? Scroll past them all because they make up the majority of the top stories in some categories despite wattpad's terms of service. Sometimes, I will start reading a nice fantasy story only to get part way through the second chapter and MC is getting r*ped by a pack of "muscular, dominant werewolves." I would much rather the author mentioned there would be explicit heterosexual sex and rape. I would not read it then.

People also have boundaries in wildly different places. I'm okay with reading a story about lesbians involving consensual nonconsent, you know, bdsm style, where the rules have been worked out in advance and there's a safeword + signal. That's fine, it doesn't bother me at all even if I'm not particularly interested in it. But make it a man r*ping someone physically weaker (regardless of gender) nope! I'm out. Even if it's not for pleasure purposes and is a dark scene which is traumatic for the character and is important for whatever psychological themes of the work. Aspects like that can be included in writing legitimately, especially in works on the more psychological side. But I do not want to see those particular topics, so I filter them out. No problem.

My favorite fic author of all time writes a ton of disturbing stuff in the death note fandom, which, given the tone of canon, is a ripe canvas to work from. Half of the good psychological death note fics would be banned within the first couple of months, I'm sure. Even darker/more intense works like psycho-pass? It had a r*pe scene in the very first episode. It was definitely not meant to be gratifying to the viewer. It is meant to be horrifying. Any fics that deal with any of the topics canon deals with? Control, manipulation, gore and physical violences spanning the range which occurs in the real world and how you deal with them? How you deal with the people who commit them? There is a vast amount of ugliness canon portrays that is meant to make the viewer uncomfortable. If it makes you uncomfortable, good, you are a normal person. If you're not up for these topics, filter them out.

Those of us who want to see even the ugly sides of human experience discussed in writing can read them in deeply unsettled peace and you can read a different fic.

Banning these topics from being discussed entirely? You make the whole of literature, of what we are allowed to discuss publicly, more shallow. The depths are banned. You can't discuss anything about them. Not from the cathartic voice of an abuse survivor or the philosophical curiosity of someone who wishes to understand people, even bad people.

In short, it's dumb, and completely missing the point of an ARCHIVE.

#AO3 #censorship #not even going to get into the whole purpose of it being an archive thing but #you don't just delete shit from an ARCHIVE because you don't like it #it is meant to preserve everything #that's like banning fascist books from libraries even if academics are reading them to understand the cultural mindsets which led to fascis #ran out of characters #anyways you get what i'm saying #the bible has whores and violence #somehow that is okay for children to read #yet fics on ao3 that are decidely not for children cannot even EXIST #like bestie your 7 year old is not looking up smut fics chill out

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13leaguestories · 6 months

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I think that completely blank main characters that have the least number of preset traits or any preset personality at all are better for IFs in general bc it allows for us not only to self insert but also to envision other original characters completely different from us if we want to. But I understand it may be easier to write a character when you already have an image of how they behave.

Main characters with an already preset personality, attitude, and history make it feel more like a traditional book where we just witness the story presented and have no input or agency at all. I think freedom of choice over the main character is the most important part of any IF, because if you take away the choices, then what's the difference from a normal piece of literature? Preset MCs may also make it harder for us to connect and identify with them since their personalities can be completely different from ours if we're self inserting or if we envision something else for them, not to mention they can do and say things we don't expect, or agree with, or even account for, which could make some of us even upset at our own characters for doing something rude or completely different from what we intended or meant to.

Blank canvas main characters can be fun too, writing the MC being sweet or shy or bold or serious or comic or hostile, etc, in response to a given situation, or towards another character's flirting, for example, sounds extremely interesting to me, not to mention it's always the best part when we're kind and understanding to a character and they react accordingly by being affable in response, or when we're rude and cold and they get angry at us, it's interesting to see how some of them get more attached and close to us because we're alike and agree on most things, or because we're always gentle and loving in general, while others will get annoyed by it and push us away bc we're too soft or bc we disagree on everything or treat them contemptuously.

But all of that is harder to see if the main character goes ahead and makes the choices for us, or if they're naturally too nice and trusting or too reclusive and aloof. I guess it's better when we get to choose what we are through our own choices and actions or when the other characters start seeing us in a certain way because we nearly always behave that same way towards them?

Anyway, this is just my opinion on preset vs blank canvas MC, but this is a very interesting topic to discuss and all ideas are valid!

Okay, I asked this a while back and saw your response just never got to answering.

I dig all of this and thank you for telling me your point of view. I can agree with a lot but then also disagree. Blank characters for me are just that, too blank. I love the idea that one can headcanon to their heart's content but then the story/work just feels emptier.

I'm going to use Our Life (visual novel, guys check it out if you haven't) as an example because I think it does a good job at giving you this really blank character that you can control. I have an OC that gets into trouble growing up but that's never really shown. In the game you're never really given the ability to be a troublemaker or someone who struggles with anger or something like that. Again this is just one example, I'm sure folks can come up with hundreds more.

A game that kinda takes your hand and says "hey, this is who you are" takes that ability to say "oh my person is a troublemaker" because we obviously just told you that you're not, away. And I think I like that more. Maybe this is why I like novels more than IF's. I'd rather be told "hey this is who you are and though you have some agency, this is you" versus "you're a blank slate and anything you want goes" cos then I feel like the character I created actually belongs there. Stuff that makes them, them is talked about and addressed versus me just imagining it all and probably having to resort to fanfic.

But again, this is just me. And I do get your viewpoint and can't argue with some of the points cos they're true. And thank you again for telling me your mindset on it.

#general asks #i love shit like this lmfao

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the-insomniac-emporium · 5 months

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A. Caldwell: Resident Lover edition

ayyyye it's ya girl boy creature of questionable origins! originally I was going for a npc version of Ava, like they were a side character in RL, but honestly this design could work as my version of the MC (because, ya know, Ava was originally a self-insert who rapidly mutated into something else heehoo) also ignore my typo on their title. forgot to double check and it's too late now

Avaskian Caldwell: Miranda's (other) impersonal assistant

Mx. Caldwell was originally a student at Miranda's University, studying for their psychology degree, with the goal of being a counselor of sorts for future students. The official report states that their horrific injuries were the result of an accident that occurred off-campus, while Caldwell was running an errand for the student council. As a result, Mx. Caldwell suffered a brain injury, resulting in an unusual (and advanced) case of dysphasia, as well as increased sensitivity to sound. They now communicate almost exclusively through writing, which is less impaired than their speech, and wear special ear plugs meant to limit background noise without blocking out nearby voices. Headmistress Miranda graciously offered the former-student a job at the University, as a groundskeeper of sorts. Or, well, that's the official story...

Although few speak openly of such things, the rumors around campus indicate that Mx. Caldwell knowingly got entangled in a Cult while trying to track down an old friend. Supposedly, they betrayed the group's trust, and were cursed in retaliation. But if that is the case... why would the cult keep them around? As an example, perhaps? The truth is evasive as always, and unendingly complex.

Currently, the idea is that Avaskian's childhood friend attended the University, got involved in Alcina's secret society, goofed up real bad, tried to blackmail her way out of it, and got added to Alcina's sculpture collection. Ava questioned her sudden disappearance, despite not having been in active contact with said friend for some time. Just like in their OG story, they followed the trail, running into one of the cult's more remote ventures in the process. That sets up the bit for Ava's cult design, which I'm still working on.

Eventually, Ava made it to the university, got an invitation, emotionally manipulated their way into the thick of things (also by being intelligent, fast-thinking, and perceptive as hell), and eventually managed to put two and two together about their friend's fate. While they were unable to actually save their friend, they were able to essentially mercy-kill her, freeing her consciousness from the sculpture. Unfortunately, that meant betraying Alcina's trust...

Which is why Miranda definitely did curse them. Ava can no longer talk coherently, and is physically incapable of saying or writing several key words, to prevent them from openly revealing the cult's business. Technically, they can talk out loud, it's just... mostly nonsensical.

"Tongue twisting thoughts into scrambled egg salad. A typewriter monkey bowling for alphabet soup."

So, why did Miranda let them live?... Well, for one, they might not look like it, but they're already, like, 87% dead. Again, per their OG story (which I'm trying to adapt as seamlessly as possible), Ava's health regeneration is incredibly powerful, but uncontrollable. They literally drink poison tea (thanks Donna) to periodically give the regen something to do other than filling them with extra sets of organs. Ava manages to be resourceful, effective, and can mostly blend in without others realizing their inhuman strength.

But I think the biggest reason Miranda didn't outright kill them is that, to a degree, she recognizes a piece of herself in them. Someone who is ruthlessly persistent, utterly set on their goal, purely devoted to the one they want to protect. Ava wasn't able to save their person, but their loyalty is admirable, and Miranda knows just how to redirect it for her own purposes...

#j has ocs #avaskian caldwell #resident lover #resident lover spoilers #mostly after the cut #more backstory and art to come #they love donna #so much

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wolfofcelestia · 9 days

Text

Welcome! Now that this blog has been fully converted into a Zayne loveblog, I've finally decided to make an actual introduction.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓰𝓰𝓮𝓻

My name is Elara (she/her). I am an adult and will be posting adult content. Minors will be blocked.

Most of what I write here will be about a certain boy (cv: Satou Takuya)

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓻

I write when my brain allows me to. Most of what you'll see here are short clips of dialogue, headcanons, scenarios, and scenes in the style of LADS's social media posts. These snippets tend to be comedy, fluff, smut, and angst.

All of this can be found in my blog directory.

Quick tags: Zayne, Dawnbreaker, Scenarios, Headcanons

Got a request? Feel free to drop an idea in my askbox. No guarantees it will get filled, though.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓨𝓾𝓶𝓮𝓳𝓸𝓼𝓱𝓲 💙❤️🩵

This blog is my self-indulgent yumejoshi (self-insert) safe space, with my F/Os being Shokudaikiri Mitsutada and Rei.

I am extremely sappy and sentimental. I just have a lot of feelings for these boys. If you have a problem with that, feel free to block or unfollow me. You don't need to be in my space.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮

Thanks for stopping by and reading this far! There's more information about my name and Rei under the cut below for the curious.

Feel free to have a look around and interact with me whenever you like! I’d love to hear what you think of my ideas.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓸𝓵𝓯 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓪

A rough translation of my Saniwa username: 天狼星

This is the star Sirius, which roughly translates to "heavenly wolf star" in Chinese/Japanese.

I wanted a daimyou-style title for my saniwa self-insert, so it turned into Wolf of Celestia.

Don't be fooled by the name, though. I'm actually just a smol wet puppy burdened with feelings for boys who don't exist.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼

“Elara” is the name of one of Jupiter's moons. In Greek mythology, she is a mortal princess with an unfortunately lame story. But I liked the sound of the name so I kept it.

The pronunciation on wikipedia is EL-ara. I also accept el-ARA.

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓓𝓪𝔀𝓷

You may have noticed that I call him Rei in some posts and Zayne in other posts. Sometimes even in the same post, like this one. This is a very deliberate choice.

I first learned of his existence from Satou Takuya retweeting one of the promo videos for the game before it was released, so even before Day 1, I knew him as Rei. (And I was downbad for him without even knowing a thing about him.)

He is still Rei to me and always will be, but for ease of communication, I call him Zayne.

Long story short,

I call him Zayne when:

I'm referring to his character in general

I'm writing something meant for the rest of tumblr to reblog or engage with

I call him Rei when:

I'm referring to "My Rei", the Rei in my game, and the F/O of my yume ship.

─── Usually used in personal posts about my sappy feelings, not really meant to be engaged with

I'm referring to the character who is voiced by Satou Takuya and speaks Japanese.

─── Usually used to comment on SatoTaku's voice work specifically

─── ･*☆･ﾟ: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼

In my scenarios, I usually put dialogue and emphasized words in certain colours

MC is red because… put simply, that’s my colour

Zayne is always blue

But because tumblr is mostly in dark mode and I’m too lazy to add colours that aren’t on the default options, Dawnbreaker is usually red

Because if he were to choose a colour, it would always be hers

The only time Dawnbreaker isn’t in red is when MC is in the same scenario. In those cases, Dawnbreaker is the default text colour, relinquishing his colour to her

Because he would choose to be empty if it meant he could stay with her for just a little longer

That's all for now! I'll keep this updated if I need to add more links or information.

Final note: Yes my whole aesthetic is space and stars. Yes, my main is 10000% Rei LMAO I am so sorry Seiya

Dividers by saradika-graphics, cafekitsune

#introduction #love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace

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genevievemd · 1 year

Text

Breathe Through

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1916 Rating: T Category: Angsty Fluff Trope(s): and there was a bit of hurt/comfort, and one of them has an illness/injury

Summary: When her anxiety rears it’s head in the middle of the night, Genevieve realizes she finally has someone to lean on.

Warnings: mentions of mental health issues/disorders

A/N: Because G is my comfort character and self insert, I gave her my anxiety disorder (quick hello to my fellow anxiety friends, love you). One of the things that comes with mine (and hers) is the occasional nocturnal panic attack, which are the worst ever. So this is her having one and getting the comfort that I don’t always get. (because I’m a single pringle with no handsome doctor to sleep with) Also, this takes place a few months into them officially dating, so around the end of September. After LSS chapters two and three

Disclaimer: Everyone deals with anxiety differently and has different versions of it. This is my own and I’m writing from my own experience. This is no way reflects anyone else or meant to discredit anyone else’s experience. Let us all remember to be kind and gentle to each other.

The first thing she registers is the sound of the pouring rain outside, the low rumbles of distant thunder. Next is the racing of her heart, the feeling of falling but knowing she’s tucked away in Ethan’s bed.

But her eyes are still closed, and her body is frozen – stuck between the land of the living and the realm of sleep.

Immediately, Genevieve knows what’s happening and she should have seen this coming. With the amount of stress that’s been piled onto her shoulders over the last few weeks, the long hours at the hospital now that its reopened fully after Leland’s renovations, and the inability to get a full nights rest, the decline in her well managed mental health was inevitable. Gen could feel her anxiety rising with every passing day, but she had hoped to keep it under control.

It seems now, in the middle of the night, in her boyfriend’s apartment, that she failed miserably.

The tightness in her chest worsens as her mind tries and fails to wake up fully. Her dreamland self screaming into the void, but she’s mute. No sound comes from her mouth, no matter how hard she tries.

This hasn’t happened in almost a year, and Gen had foolishly hoped these night terrors had disappeared for good. She finally felt safe at work again, had been able to get off her medication, and was in the most stable, happy, and healthy relationship of her life. All signs pointed to the end of her worst kind of panic attacks.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, her body jolts awake. Her eyes opening to see she’s still safe in Ethan’s bed, but she didn’t feel safe. She felt like she was going to die.

Her skin was slick with sweat, her body wracked with uncontrollable chills and shaking, her hands had gone numb, and it felt like she might vomit any minute. Not to mention her heart was still beating a thousand miles a minute and she couldn’t take a deep breath.

Her eyes well with tears, steaming down her face like a silent waterfall of dread and misery. This was the last place Gen ever wanted this to happen at. While Ethan had seen her have anxiety attacks before, dealt with the annoyance of it, she tried her best to keep it from his door.

Almost embarrassed by it all. That after fifteen years, countless rounds of meds and therapy, she still couldn’t get rid of it. Her brain would forever remain broken and bruised.

“G?” Ethan’s voice breaks through between the thunder. His hand sleepily reaching for her.

She was trying not to wake him, but Gen was certain that with how badly she was trembling, she was probably making the entire bed shake.

“I’m fine.” It might be the most unconvincing sound she’s ever made. Broken words and fractured breaths.

Ethan seems to agree because he swiftly sits up, twisting to turn on the bedside lamp. Illuminating their bedroom and casting away the darkness that had been enveloping her.

All except the darkness that was in her own head. The one telling her everything was doomed.

“You’re having a panic attack, yes?”

She wants to speak, but Ethan putting a name to her personal nightmare with only a second of observation has her breaking. Her sobs growing and the all air she had left stolen as she nods in acknowledgment.

“I’m right here. You’re okay, G. You’re safe.” He shuffles closer to her, pulling the blankets away to make her feel less constricted. “Take my hand.”

“I – I can’t.” A chill runs down her spine, causing her to shake almost violently. Her hands still feeling numb, frozen into clenched fists.

Wordlessly, he begins to rub her back with one hand, the other grabbing her wrist. Two fingers pressing against her pulse point.

After a minute, Ethan speaks again. His voice gentle, but with the sternness of his doctor persona. “Try to take a deep breath.”

She does as instructed, taking three quick breaths before being able to take a deep one. The tingling in her hands dissipating slightly.

“Another one.”

Again, she listens. Breathing through her nose and out her mouth.

“Good girl.” Ethan leans in, kissing her head. “Are you experiencing any dizziness?”

“No.” Gen whispers between breaths, swallowing back the urge to cry.

Repeating one singular sentence in her head over and over again.

I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe

“That’s good. Keep taking deep breaths.”

“I know”

“I know you know. I’m just reminding you.” He kisses her head again, but lingers this time. Taking a deep breath with her. “It’ll pass in another minute or two. I’m right here.”

The agony of him seeing her like this melts away with every kiss he places on her head and shoulders, with every stroke of his hand on her back, and words whispered into her ear. The doom and gloom that took ahold of her retreating with every second that passes.

She knows its because of him, even if Ethan seeing her like this hurts. He’s still making it better.

Until him, Genevieve never knew that feeling of being safe could come from a person other than her family. That just being in their presence, in his presence could calm her worst fears.

Even the ones about him.

Of course, Gen wasn’t afraid of Ethan. She never has been. It was the opposite.

She was afraid of how quickly she’d fallen in love with him, how deep that love was. That she knew, should she ever lose him, she may never recover.

He knew everything about her, every scar and crack. She’d shown it all to him and maybe that was what triggered this midnight panic. The unspoken knowledge that, for the first time in a long time, she let someone know all of her and see all of her.

Coupled with the changes at the hospital and it was no wonder Gen had broken down.

Finally feeling like she can move, she turns to face Ethan, taking the hand that’s still on her wrist and holding it tightly. Intertwining their fingers.

“Better?” His face is still etched with concern, no trace of sleep in sight.

“Yes.” She frowns, fingers of her freehand reaching up to ease the creases of worry on his forehead. “I’m sorry for waking you. I was trying not to.”

“Don’t be, sweetheart.” He kisses the palm of her hand, blue eyes trained on her green. “How long have you had nighttime panic attacks?”

“Since I was 25, but I don’t get them very often and this was the first one I’ve had in a year. I hate it, though.”

“I can imagine.” He offers her a small smile, but its still mixed with pain.

Like it hurts him to see her struggle.

“I really am sorry for waking you up.”

“G, you don’t need to apologize. I would be more upset if you hadn’t and you dealt with this alone while I was right here sleeping.”

“But, you –”

“But nothing.” He gently moves the hair from her face, and the tears still steadily running down her face. “We’re partners, Rookie.”

She sniffles, nodding her head and moving on the bed to sit in his lap. Tucking her head under his chin and against his chest. Keeping her breaths in time with his heartbeat.

Steady and calm.

“Why don’t we go make some tea? That should help calm you down further.” Ethan whispers, resting his head on top of hers, his arms tightening around her small frame.

“I can do it, so you can go back to sleep. You have that meeting with Leland in the morning, you need to rest.”

“So do you, and I won’t get any if I know you’re milling about. Come on.” He gently lifts her off his lap and into his arms, carrying her out of the bedroom and into his kitchen.

He places her onto the island, kissing her forehead before opening the cabinet to get the eclectic kettle.

“Do you want to talk about it? Will that help?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” He looks back at her from over his shoulder as he fills the kettle, brows knit together.

“Yes.”

He doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer, but he takes it. Looking away from her and back to what he was doing. Moving around his kitchen, gathering supplies for her tea.

She does want to talk about it, but she also isn’t ready to tell him that she loves him. And the thought of doing so, of disclosing that she awoke in a panic because of that all-consuming, life changing love makes her anxiety heighten once more.

For now, Genevieve will keep it to herself and pray that this never happens again. Because no matter how understanding he may be, how willing he is to help, there will always be a small part of her that feels like a burden for it. An every growing annoyance to his once quiet and stable life.

“Hey.” Ethan’s deep voice pulls her eyes up, standing in front of her. “I’m not annoyed and you are not a burden.”

“How did you –”

He raises eyebrow, his hands coming to rest on her thighs. “Diagnostic instincts, G.”

“Right.” She lets out a breathless laugh, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his chest. “Sometimes I forget that you’re the country’s best diagnostician.”

“I’m offended, Rookie. How could you forget that, after all the guidance I’ve given you?” Ethan quips, arms coming around her once more. His hands tracing patterns on her back.

“Because I –” She lifts her head, meeting his eyes. “Most days I just see you as Ethan, my boyfriend, and not Dr. Ramsey, my boss and mentor. I know that’s probably a bad thing, but that’s why. I mean, at work, you’re Dr. Ramsey but also not always and –”

“I understand.” He smiles down at her, “I get that way with you, as well. Which was always a risk, and what kept me from you for so long.”

“But the reward outweighed it all?”

“Yes.” Ethan leans down, his lips pressing delicately against hers. It lasts only a moment, unwilling to go any farther.

The kettle clicks off, the sound seeming louder in the quiet of his apartment. He moves to take it off it’s base, but Gen pulls him back to her.

“Thank you.” She looks up at him, green eyes welling with tears once more. Though not out of fear or pain, but gratitude. “Not just for making me tea, but for helping me through that. I usually have to do it alone and I… Thank you.”

“Always, G. It’s you and me, right?”

“Yeah.” She whispers, nodding her head as she looks up at him in wonder and love. “Now and always.”

“Preciously.”

For the first time since her abrupt awaking, she feels peace. The dark thoughts that shook her a distant and faded memory. It may happen again, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but when it does, Gen knows she finally has someone to lean on. To be there when it feels like everything is crashing down around her. Someone who won’t judge her or be annoyed by her.

Someone who cares, who’s happy to help her through it all.

She only hopes that he knows he has it too.

That they continue to be each other’s cure to the madness, the thing that keeps them breathing steadily through it all.

A/N: I won’t lie, writing this one made me emotional. It might be one of my favorites now.

The next fic I do might be smut, and I’m also trying to get back to AMTH, that’s my main focus. Cause I hate that we’re now past that point in TTDS but the fic series for it isn’t done.

K, that’s it. Bye. Love you.

(Tagging separately)

#ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart #open heart fanfiction #ethan x gen

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bananadragonblog · 1 year

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Okay so I started writing down ideas as I was playing through the game and quickly realized there were gonna be too many to send as requests one by one. Plus I love everyone's writing I could never choose just one, so mass post it is! I wish I could write myself, but I only seem to have a knack for coming up with ideas and no way to put them into words.

I intended all of these to be Ominis x reader, but feel free to change them up if you'd like. They are also based off my own OC, but having them as reader-insert fics is fine so others can enjoy them (I personally have a hard time swapping out names for my own when reading fics). I'll be posting an infographic I made of my OC on my page as well if you do feel like using her [Link] (and I might just love you forever if you do) I'll likely add to the list when I get new ideas so check back often ❤️

Feel free to share as well, all I ask is that I get tagged in your work if you use one of my prompts ❤️

@darkwizardings @cafeacademia @fwooperfeathers @sebastianwallows @awkwardauthorwrites @gauntlysallows @gtgbabie0 @sammiesallow (Tagging you guys since its a lot and I know your requests are open ❤️)

(All can be gender neutral/low descriptions so everyone can enjoy the stories but I'll provide basics for my OC if needed/wanted; meant to follow along main story where reader is the MC)

(Small warning that I haven't really proofread or made any of these super pretty, they are just raw ideas I threw onto a notepad)

Personal Headcannons:

-Ominis' mother is still fairly loving (somewhat like the malfoy family)

- Ominis' blindness allows him to see light/dark and basic shapes, like someone with cataracts would see (the cloudy eyes already resemble this)

____________ Prompts ___________

Ominis visits home and his parents ask about the 5th year (they are pureblood from another well known family), the idea of arranging marriage gets thrown around

Reader bringing Ominis something from hogsmeade and Ominis doesnt know how to react to the kindness

reader/seb making "ominous" puns and Ominis being over it

Ominis noticing reader always leaving the castle/coming back hurt. Gives her a necklace/trinket/family heirloom to her for good luck so she stays safe

Ominis overhears reader talking to Sebastian and agreeing with Ominis about the dark arts being dangerous, confronts them later and thanks them

Reader warns Ominis of Sebastian's plan to visit the ruin to look for the relic. (hate that this isnt an option in the game, he literally asks us to do this 😭)

everyone trying to one up each other about the "adventures" they have gone on with reader, and everyone jesting that amits adventure of stargazing sounds more like a date, Ominis feels left out- maybe confronts reader and they plan an actual date? -OR- Ominis lies about having special "interactions" with reader (sfw) and reader hears the rumors

seb steals Ominis' wand while in hogsmeade, reader offers hers for him to be able to see even though Ominis is certain it won't work. Turns out to work but only if they are holding onto the wand together

defence against the dark arts class: a boggart is brought out and reader's fear is Sebastian/crucio curse (set after the sanctorium mission)

after seb and reader's fight in the undercroft (when he calls reader ignorant for knowing lodgok), reader runs off to the underground harbor to get away (its their safe space, where they can skip the rocks and listen to the water), while running there ominis passes reader but end up confronting seb about what happened before going to find reader

Ominis is self conscious about letting reader lead him around at times, so she makes sure to hold onto him so he still feels like the one leading

Reader telling Ominis about the ancient magic

Ominis and seb talking to reader about how the headmaster was acting strange- reader reveals it was actually them

Slytherin!reader having nightmares and sneaks to the boys dorms

after "in the shadow of the relic" and deciding to not turn in Sebastian, reader shows Ominis the room of requirement so they can have a space for just them (not ready to be around seb), introduces him to the phoenix

Aftermath of reader surviving the encounter with Rookwood, Ominis is concerned and refuses to leave the hospital wing for the night.

Hogwarts has a "parents" weekend and everyone is shocked that reader knows how to act all proper when the Gaunts introduce themselves

Reader has a tendency to not wear a jacket because they dont get cold easily

Ominis comforting reader after they fight ranrok and lose Fig

6th year- Ominis and reader pestering 1st years about mermaids

Reader and Ominis deciding what to do for the summer, reader offers to join him at his family's home

Reader overhears someone saying awful things about Ominis and how reader deserves better, but reader gets defensive and punches them?

Posted 03.29.2023

Edited 03.30.2023

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #writing prompts #requests #fanfic #HL prompt list #ominis x reader #ominis imagine #ominis x oc #hogwarts legacy ominis #ominis x mc

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 9 days

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hello Blair 👋 I saw you mentioned Alanza and I’m showing up bc despite jc completely fumbling her, I still like her

I think the two biggest issues is when she’s introduced and that the game does not know what to do with her. She should have been introduced before Rowan’s death. That way we get to know her as her own character instead of “Rowan’s replacement.”

Since she’d be the new student for the year, I’m pretty sure people would still suspect her of being the mole. My guess is that jc dropped her because so many people seem to dislike her. There’s a whole can of worms on how hphm handles its numerous characters. I will have to save that for another day.

Alanza was set to be an interesting character and I do wish we had learned more about her days at Castelobruxo. I’m ignoring my own numerous headcanons to flesh her out. Main things that stick out to me is her time surviving in the rainforest as a first year. She has this very cheerful demeanor but surely that must have had an impact on her eleven year old self. Then she’s supposed to be from a prominent Brazilian wizarding family. What are they like? How do people treat her as a member of an at least somewhat famous family? She seems to enjoy adventuring so of all the characters to join the vault hunt, she should’ve been included. Then the wiki says she was part of a band back at Castelobruxo (it also says she can play nine instruments which I do not remember.) What if we saw her bonding with the Weird Sisters over music?

Jumping into headcanon territory: I’ve headcanoned that Alanza’s upbeat demeanor contrasts with her parents’ more serious selves. When her grandmother was alive, she was able to mediate between Alanza and her parents. However after she died, things became more tense at home. It also didn’t help that their fame meant Alanza was constantly being compared to her family. She decided to become an exchange student partly to get a fresh start where people will judge her as her own person and also bc like I mentioned earlier, she likes an adventure.

to be nice to hphm, Alanza’s design is my favorite from this game. I don’t have some deep analysis on it; I just think she’s cute. Plus I like the mole she has.

Oh, I like her too. She just...feels like a one-off, like a character introduced in a TLSQ who then slides into the background.

Instead, like you talked about, the story drops everything to introduce her - right after Rowan dies and The Circle is formed, no less - and not long before The Mole is first mentioned. They had to know, right? The writers had to realize the circumstances surrounding Alanza were suspicious, so I think she was a deliberate red herring. Especially giving her a loose connection to Rakepick. But she's a red herring who never gets herring'd, because the characters never outright suspect her.

I didn't even realize she was widely disliked, is that true? Because I liked her just fine. I was suspicious of her past and her motives, and it wasn't lost on me how the story tried to insert her into a "Rowan" like role (which it later did more directly with Corey) but hey, that wasn't exactly her fault, and assuming she was totally genuine in her nature, then she was a good person, right?

The Rain Forest Incident is so telling. I've always had the headcanon that Rakepick rescued her from that bit of trouble. Because despite what Alanza says, despite what the writers might want us to believe, there is no way she could have known Rakepick smelled like cinnamon without having gotten close to her. MC didn't even know that.

As far as her time in Castelobruxo, I'm getting...Weasley twin vibes. Popular with the students, nightmare for the staff. If she comes from a prominent family, that's already easy mode for popularity like it was for Draco. Not to mention she's in a band and is apparently multi-faceted? Nah, this girl had friends. But then again, none of them write to her when she moves out to the U.K, so maybe it was all just surface level? Sad to say...

Oh man. What you're describing is...so familiar. It reminds me a lot of Tulip and her situation with her own family, right down to having grandparents who mediate. The idea that Alanza joined the exchange program to get away from - at least part of - her family is devastating, but it makes sense. She chose to remain at Hogwarts for another year, and neglected to mention why. But she would have been 17 by that point, so, it would be her choice, right?

The Casteobruxo robes look superb, they really do. They're one of the few costumes that genuinely look like something people in this world would wear, because yes I'm still hung up on how none of them wear robes in the movies. As far as her face goes, she is adorable, that's for sure!

#Alanza Alves #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #Patricia Rakepick #HPHM Spoilers #Rowan Khanna #HPHM Headcanons

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yourlocalartsonist · 1 year

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PSST! The fanfic is officially out now! Read it here <3

Hi uh I decided to start a ROTTMNT fanfic ;w;

So it kinda started out as just random “what if” scenarios of me and the turtles interacting but then got out of hand when I officially started developing my self insert character a bit more and giving them a backstory and creating an overarching narrative, blah blah blah. And then it just got more set in stone when I ended up actually writing an entire chapter and having way too much fun doing it. I wasn’t sure whether or not to announce this now or later when the chapters actually start going up on AO3 but I got too giddy to just not say anything so here we are :D

Introducing my dumb little rise fanfic: Moths Fly in Packs!

So this story is meant to take place a few months after the movie events. In my head canon, the movie takes place in August 2020 and the story starts March 2021. I’m not sure how long it’s gonna be yet but I know for sure it’ll cover a few years of their lives since I want the dynamics to seem believable and not hilariously rushed

SO! I actually had two versions of this story planned out. One is just continuing the Rise series in general with the turtles being the main characters and this fanfic’s MC being more on the level of April or Casey. That whole stuff I wanted to save for a future comic series if I ever get to it with a more similar tone to the show. The fanfic is showing that story from MC’s perspective, having them be the main character and following the events of her life with the turtles and the tone being SLIGHTLY darker than the main show. It doesn’t feel too different though since I think the show kinda already nailed the blend of fun and trauma that I love, just increased the trauma a teensy bit. Oh also cursing I guess

Speaking of MC, here’s their design! :D

Salena Moni :D she/they

LOOK AT MY DARLING BASKING IN ALL HER GLORY! She’s half Japanese half Bengali and is actually (unknowing to her) part luna moth Yōkai and I’m not gonna talk more about that as it would spoil parts of the story. She’s the same age as Mikey, both 16 in the story, and yes this is gonna be some turtle x oc shipping since I’m a simp for Leo and I’m not wasting an opportunity to create a fictional relationship with him <3 Aside from that, Salena is sweet, spunky, and chaotic, wonderfully fitting in with the rest of the gang. Of course, she has her dose of trauma and baggage too since it wouldn’t be a rise fanfic without that! Their weapons are mystic sickles and their powers are still in the works

For any of my fellow character design nerds: I tried putting some luna moth elements into her design. Her color palette is inspired by the green, pink, and yellow palette of luna moths and the spots on her sickles are meant to resemble the spots on their wings. They’ve got gold earrings in the shape of feathers to emulate the cute fuzzy antennas on luna moths. The bag isn’t related to moths, it’ll get explained in the story it’s a pretty sweet moment I don’t wanna spoil. There’s probably more but I’m forgetting that right now ANYWHO

Um yea I think that’s everything? Apologies if I sounded like an awkward dork, it’s because I am and still not used to posting on tumbler. I’m really excited to share this story since I think it’s a lot of fun and just a really sweet found family story. It’s kind of my little comfort fanfic as a lot of the original characters are inspired by people I knew in my life and a lot of the events are a mix of things I struggled with and the potential life I would’ve had if certain events ended more tragically than they actually did. I struggle with feeling lonely a lot and this story lets me breathe in another universe as a character who eventually finds their true family despite the things they’ve been through. A family that accepts them for who they are, weird quirks and all. It’s a wholesome ride and I can’t wait to share it with y’all

As in literally can’t wait, I might honestly just put the first chapter on tumbler instead of waiting for my AO3 account to activate since there’s APPARENTLY A WAIT TIME FOR THE INVITATION but anyway enjoy a little fluff drawing I did of Salena and Leo that’s now my homescreen

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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Jumin is my favourite, but sometimes i'm scared he'd not like me when he first sees me.

I'm chubby and very much not conventionally attractive. I'm very insecure but I try to not let it show by boasting about myself and being sometimes annoyingly self absorbed (much like someone else *cough*).

So like, when you go to Jumins house during his route, I'd be genuinely terrified. Kinda feeling like I'd deceived him? If that makes sense? Like he'd expect someone absolutely stunning, but then it's "just me?" LMAO idk if this makes any sense at all.

Listen, honey. I want to know that it’s important to never detract from yourself in any way because you don’t fit the way that “society” wants people to look. I also want you to know if you haven’t heard it today, you’re beautiful just the way you are. I hope that you know this. It’s good to speak kindly about yourself because that’s healthier than calling yourself trash. It’s okay to be torn sometimes, but it’s not healthy to look at yourself and think you’re ugly or unworthy of love. I used to get down on myself like that a lot when I was younger and as I am now, I can tell you this.

The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. Sure, it can be tough to learn how to love yourself, and it’s okay if that takes time. But, the people who’re worth loving will look at you with stars in their eyes no matter what. You are very much worth loving no matter who you are. You are worth loving whether you are chubby or skinny or whatever word you want to use to describe your body type! I know that’s tough to hear because we always hear that. We always hear that we are worth love no matter but society continues to beat us down.

Before I got sick, I lived all my life as a fat girl. Fat’s not an ugly word, by the way, but I know that it can be uncomfortable for some people to use to talk about themselves because it might’ve been used against them in a negative way, so I won’t ever use that to describe someone else. Being chubby allows you to see a lot of ignorant and cruel people who think less of you and treat you like shit for it. It’s not right nor is it okay. That hurt comes with you no matter if you lose weight or not.

I always felt like I wasn’t beautiful or worth loving, either. We spend so much time looking at people who are smaller than us in the media that we internalize shame and self-loathing and worse because we don’t “look right”. I can honestly remember thinking what you think right here, that my being so different from the in-game MC sprite felt like if they knew what I really looked like, that none of the cast would love me the same way.

It might feel that way sometimes.

You look at MC in the game and you pause, you wonder, and you fear. You think that they love the slender avatar with straight hair, pale skin, and whatever else you notice.

But, that’s just the thing. The MC is just an image. They’re just an insert into the game for the artists to draw. They use a generalized appearance to fit the bill but the MC is meant for us to place ourselves there... not to imagine the MC is their ideal aesthetic. It’s not the face-claim they love, it’s the player. It’s you. No matter who you are, if you are the MC, they love you, they love everything about you. It is a fact. It’s you the RFA loves. Be it chubby, skinny, tall, short, curly hair, locs, straight hair, brown eyes, blue eyes, etc, everything that makes us who we are is loved.

So, here’s the fact about Jumin Han for you. You’re you. You’re the charming and delightful person who has been engaging with him from day one. You’re kind, bright, and wonderful. He loves the sound of your voice and he thinks it’s a relief when he sees your name light up on his cell phone. Your personality is the first thing he notices and he enjoys you. He enjoys being close to you this way because there’s never been someone like you in his life before. Someone who lights his fire to talk and be himself.

It’s a breath of fresh air for Jumin.

He has spent his entire life being picked apart by people for the way that he looks. He is what many would call conventionally attractive. He has been bothered because of that many times throughout his life. People would try to coerce him into doing things that he didn't want to do, and they would make comments about him in earshot. He's been sexually harassed more times than he can count on his hand but he never talks about it. He doesn't make a big deal about it because deep down he accepted that there was nothing he could do about it.

He knew that his father was going to continue to push people onto him no matter how much he said he wasn't interested. He pushed it off as much as he could even though his father continued to try and force that on him. It's hard for him because he does want a family relationship with his father but his father doesn't treat him the right way. He never has. He holds out on that but it never works out in the long run.

Because of this experience that he’s been through, he never trusts people on the surface. He doesn't see people for their looks. He's not looking at that because he knows people are looking at him like that. He hates that a lot. He hates the fact that people see him and project whatever they want onto him because of the way he looks. He's looking at the way that they act and the way that they treat others around them. He judges people for what's underneath the surface.

In his opinion, the only people that are ugly are those that have cruel hearts and minds. Kind people with open hearts are the most beautiful, and you, my dear, are that beauty.

This isn't to say that he doesn't notice the way that people look, it's just that he doesn't think about it. He doesn't want to judge people for their looks now or ever. He doesn't want to be judged for the way that he looks, either. In some ways, he can understand your experience and in other ways he can't. It's very interesting how pretty privilege can find common ground with the exact opposite situation. It’s in that way of people judging you for the way you look, but treating you one way or the other. Being judged for something out of your control isn’t an okay thing.

It’s that area that he could find enough mutual frustrating to learn more about the differences and why it’s such a problem all around, for sure. I can see him really putting in the time and effort to get people onto this. Society at large needs to be told that ridiculous standards and treatment of people have got to go. He knows his experience is different from yours and he’s benefited in ways that you haven’t been able to. So, trust him to want to learn and understand. The first second he hears of someone comparing his looks and yours, he’s ripping the press for it as soon as possible.

Jumin doesn’t stand for slander or fatphobia.

When you come into his apartment, kind, compassionate, willing to help him at the worst moment of his life, he’s so... relieved. He’s surprised, but he’s lost in your eyes. He didn’t know what you looked like, nor did he build an image of you in his head. He only listened to your voice and reminded himself that he would see you at the party for the first time. But, seeing you... seeing you in front of him after these long days of listening to your voice comfort him...?

His heart... feels perplexed. It’s warm. He’s still stressed out of his mind, afraid of losing Elizabeth, but you... your sudden arrival. This feels nice. “Oh, it’s you,” he would say with surprise on his face. “I didn’t expect to be face to face so soon. I am... actually pleased to see you even if I’m unsure of why you’re here knowing the hacker is still at large. You’re welcome here, I hope that your trip was safe to arrive here.”

He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t budge or show signs of disgust like you might fear so deep down inside. He looks relieved. He looks almost happy if it weren’t for the issues he’s trying to fight against with Sarah and Glam. He offers you his hand, warm and inviting, and even if your insecurities are buzzing, you can make no mistake here. You know he’s excited to see you. It might take some time for him to express how beautiful he thinks you are, how lovely you are to him, but he’s already feeling charmed by you. It’s only a matter of time.

You are you.

You are his MC.

He loves you for that.

So, when you look in the mirror and fear any rolls, wrinkles, or stretchmarks, remember this fact. Jumin Han will always look at you with love in his eyes no matter what. You are beauty incarnate in his eyes. He won’t hesitate to say that when you open your heart to him. If you tell him you’re insecure, he will find all the ways to reassure and comfort you otherwise. He treasures you, dear Anon. Never ever forget that fact.

“You are my partner,” he’d say with his lips pressed to yours. An intense look burning in his deep, dark eyes. “I love you. I love you. I never want you to speak ill of your body when it’s beautiful. You are the most lovely person I’ve ever met, so holding your body in my hands... feels like a glimpse of Heaven.”

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #mysme #anon #mysticmessenger #mm #jumin han #han jumin #character analysis

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