#and more and more im like. i dont get it and i cant figure it out and its frustrating and i dont like it

[shiftingtomydrs]

Can I be honest? Shifting is the only thing keeping me afloat rn. If I didn’t know about shifting, I’d be screwed. Like. My dad just threatened to kick me out because HIS cat broke a plate. And people expect me NOT to shift?? Are you insane? That is the only thing that excites me anymore. Reading about others DR’s, seeing their scripts and everything like that. That’s the ONLY thing I find enjoyment anymore and it brings me comfort. In all of my DR’s, I have a father figure who loves me because I don’t have that in this reality. Shifting it sacred and important to me. Everyone will shift. Anyone reading this, you WILL shift. You WILL go home!

(I don’t mean to trauma dump but this is a safe account to me to just kind of talk and chat shit about anything and everything)

Don't worry, really, traumadump all you want :)

For me its a bit different cos my life in this reality isnt so bad but its still not how i'd like it to be yk? so i absolutely agree with your point, why wouldnt we shift? you can be anything you want to so why not? im sure you'll shift soon and i hope your life in your cr will get better too (if thats the wrong thing to say pls just ignore it i dont wanna offend anyone i swear im just bad with words sometimes) my excitement for shifting personally depends on the day, sometimes im so excited and other days i just feel drained but atm its the former and im really feeling good about tonight (yesterday i fell asleep way too late lmao like im talking 3am or smth)

i love to hear about other peoples drs too soo if you ever wanna tell anyone about your dr my asks are open <3 (this is for everyone not just the original anon btw) same for if you wanna hear more on my drs just keep in mind i havent shifted yet so i cant really talk from experience :)

#desired reality #shifting #reality shifting #shifters #shift #reality shift #shifter #shifting diary #shifting realities #shiftblr

[restlesschilled]

TMagP 013

Note: As Always, I am a backer so this was written 23 April, 2024 and scheduled to be posted on 25 April, 2024

oh god its another episodes written by Alex

awww thanks odin <3

Im dreading this

PRE STATEMENT/ CASE

OHHH DATE TIME

THE FLIRTING

This is so cute but i cant trust it because alex wrote it

"that you dont know how cute you are" adshfjagdhflakshdf

WERE STARTING WITH THE BIG STUFF

"hi im from an alternate universe"

CELIA IS A MOM

JACK IS HER BABY

"i had a while few years when I first moved here"

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO CELIA OR JACK I WILL RIOT

HOW DARE

SHES A SINGLE MOM

"that depends on your baggage. DISH"

"they were the first ones that didnt want me" oooooooo\

Alice's Parents are dead good to know

"most pathetic vague post shes ever scene"

"more wine" "please"

LENA OFFICE

GWEN MY POOR BABY

"is it my fault?"

MY POOR PRECIOUS GIRL

"were managing the bad guys" FUCK

CASE

this hold music is a BOP

i had to stop and have my friend explain public school in England to me because that is not the same thing as American public schools

oh lovely a "fiance guy"

a hedge fund guy what i mean is a hedge fund guy

Why in gods name, would you use experimental setting on a hedge fund/ investing app… when you have no idea what it does and it has a shit tone of disclaimers??? i get being desperate but that's just stupid

also the irony of this guy saying hes a good person when hes betting on people failing with hedge funds

do people even steal phones anymore?

i feel like they are not worth all that much and just have to many ways to tack them for it to be worth anything unless you are targeting someone specifically

yeah i figured they might have targeted him

im pretty sure this would qualify as inside trading somehow

betting against your own company and than tanking the company is very illegal

pretty sure betting you'll have a shit time and then making sure you have a shit time would be the same thing

basically this man is committing insurance fraud... but through a hedge fund

it just occurred to me hes calling from the hospital that's what the beeping is

also vertigo mentioned

he was attack by computer bugs lol

shitty "finance guy" gets whats coming to him asmr

post statement

okay i know sam probably mean "be professional" like stop with the flirting

BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT I SOUND LIKE YALL HAVE BEEN HOOKING UP AFTER WORK SOMETIMES.

HAVE YALL BEEN HOOKING UP?

this is how i choose to interpret this this is my new head canon( it was already kinda my head canon)

But if you ever ask me to be professional again, I'm going to have to take a shit on your desk." ALICE

"you signed the official secrets act in your onboarding. And I know all your school friends say treason's 'bussin'' and 'fire', but it won't look good on your CV." i love her so much

"its fine when I say it"

this episode really said fuck capitalism didn't it

also do week need to talk about the fact that celia's son is named Jack Ripley like jack the ripper

WAIT A SECOND JACK IS A NICKNAME FOR JOHN/JON

DID SHE NAME HER SON AFTER JON?

#this show has me in a chokehold #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol spoilers #gwen bouchard #celia ripley #tmapg #tmagp 13 #jack ripley #alice #alice dyer #lena #restless reacts to tmagp #live #liveblog

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[indulgnc]

btw until getting on snzblr i just assumed sneezing more than a couple times from a cold was like. idk. a media troupe. like. made up for dramatic affect i just didnt think it was real. i am recently finding out, no, people do catch colds and just sneeze throughout the day from them. what!!!!! !!!!! how does it feel to be the hottest on earth Huh.

#i thoufht it was made up by the media!!! idk!!!!!! #i dont think ive ever sneezed more than once from getting sick #and i figure oh ok maybe if your nose runs you do then. from that #no?? some people just do?? like have spread out fits?? ??? what. #genuinely mind blown #i also. thought the same thing about non-rapid fits . so i think #i have to reevaluate my ideas. #like i just didnt think it hapened. i jusr didnr. didnt sound real to me #bc im always like ‘oh i cant write that its not realistic!’ #No it is. it is. it jusr doesnt happen to me. but its real #LOL. #text

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

i can not?? draw this dude?? so heres some quick panel redraw doodles while i try n figure this shit out

#art #my art #digital art #doodle #sketch #fanart #trigun #vash the stampede #i have more vash drawings that i just been sittin on cos ion rlly. like them..... but....... i also dont rlly love these either #ive been goin insane i havent been able to draw anything but trigun #but i havent been able to figure out how to draw anyone how i WANT gouuughhhhh i hate fanart #its the hair. i cant draw his hair no matter what i do ill have everythin else n then i get to his hair and m like mayb he should just. bal #stupid ass gouuughhhh urrrghhhh chokes on blood and dies #im going to bed.... anger nap..... #anyways thats the post

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

language learning revelation i had

#me understanding 5 words in a 20 minute podcast episode: :D :D :D :D #me understanding enough of a podcast episode to be super aware of every word i dont know: :( :( :( :( :( #this is why the b1-b2 plateau is a thing #youre like in the 25-75% range there i think #which is THE MOST ANNOYING #with french i think ive just passed 75 so its fun again #im at like 80 i think #with arabic im at like 1 so its suuuper fun #it's avictory if i can figure out the TOPIC of ap odcast episode #bc like i cant read the titles fhkjghjgkhg #with french i could at least tell the topic from the title but i cant read the titles #so when i figure out what theyre talking about it's like holy shit #and i get like 20 minutes to try and do that #tunisian ones are fun bc they put in a lot of french words #so those are fairly easy to figure out #but also means i catch more and im doing 2 langauges at once so it doesnt take away from the fun #i explained to my dad yesterday my method of just listening to podcasts and trying to understand Anything. ANything At All #and he was like you have a lot of patience #but honestly i think it's the best way to learn #when you really want to know what something is saying and you have no other way to find out but to listen or read it #and like. figure it out #its my favourite way #and at the end the graph flattens out bc like it gets boring again right #this is why we start learning new languages when we plateau #bc we miss the fun

[wizard0rbs]

i desperately need ksu to change their system for domestic competitions

#ranking is so unnecessary #at least dont make it compulsory #like i get it for skaters that otherwise dont get to compete a lot #but surely the world silver medalist can stay on the national team without competing here #also haein yelim and seoyeong just competed last week at nhk why cant they rest now #and the juniors who are going to jgpf next week #shouldnt they be saving their energy #for the arguably more important international competition #ksu im in your walls #why do feds hate their own skaters #figure skating #fs season 2023/24 #si talks about figure skating

[skunkes]

#JOB SEARCHING ON INDEED IS HELL I CANT EVEN GET PAST STEP 1. #how do i even pick what to apply for idek what 99% of these listings are talking about. #and 99.9% of them are scams im sureand im too stupit to sniff them out #talkys #the issue is i dont even Need a remote job as a whole #but i do need one while i live here bc taking comms pays more than any of the physical location jobs in my area #ykwim. #i need a remote job in order to save more to move out and maybe get a better one that is or isnt remote. and its #hard to find. augh #doesnt help that my home also sucks for remote job what with constant noise #like what else can i do. im not taking an $8/hr job here. #maybe i jst need to keep saving with comms... #figure smthng out. idk. but then ill just stay here forever bc i dont think i could find a job thatd help me move out to work at a new loca #ion ykwim #I WILL KEEP LOOKING o7

[needylittlegirl]

i dont like the things going on right now ! ! ! !

#and by things i mean my cat acting weird #he hasnt been eating good or coming by me as much and hes been more vocal than usual #i dont usually get scared when he acts off for a day or two like hes a cat he goes through phases i know #but this time feels really really different and i dont know why #i cant tell if im just overthinking it or if it does feel different #im gonna try to find a vet that wont take my entire life savings for absolutely nothing but #im just scared #ive had a weird little ball of anxiety in my chest all day and i couldnt figure out what it was #until i watched him sniff his favorite food and just walk away #he didnt even come to see me :( #i dont wanna go to sleep what if something happens tonight #tbd

[todayisafridaynight]

thinking of the very likely possibility there are true crime channels in the rgg universe and one (1) person has probably looked into masato's ''''''death'''''. for shits and giggles of course.

#snap chats #just got my spanish exam back and i love it when profs are like 'your lowest grade'll be dropped' #bestie i KNOW this'll be my lowest grade i just wanted to test the waters for how exams will go </3 i promise not to suck next time </3 #anyway main text post time. NO BUT DO YOU THINK #cause arakawa was infamous before and people knew of his son then but esp after the kamurocho k3 shit #his name DEF exploded and people DFE got nosy..... #i dont think anyone would have figured out that aoki was masato but maybe one (1) person figured he wasnt really dead #i still wanna know how masato's public death went.. #but yeah can you imagine. going on youtube and some girl is talking about your fake death like it really happened and is speculating #and you just get to sit in your governor chair like Lol. #IMAGINE IF THE POOR LASS GETS FUCKIN. NECKED FOR THATLKEJKLJ #i dont think aoki would consider some random youtuber as an actual threat but that'd be hilarious if he did #anyway i just think we should exploit social media and the sort more with rgg characters #i think itd be really funny and the peak of comedy if we acknowledged how Actual people might react to shit #i mean... we already got vtubers interacting with the fuckinnn yakuza.. cant get more ridic than that.. lol.. #ok bye im learning spanish now

[mikkouille]

wait actually connecting the dots was the guy telling us the fight would go well when we were half a party of first timers also the one who forgot to lb3 us like bro was a tank one of em. jffjjssn he forgor.

#the one guy who does know the fight gjdjsjsbsbsbd #no one doing trial roulette at midnight we were all here to discover it #actually the coach review im doing in my head is critical again i realised i once more forgot to hit SSS like i have to figure out a spot on #the hotbar for me to remember #ok authors notes and definitions ¹LB for Limit Break: staple of FF big ability that you get to use after certain conditions #in this case for the time spent in the fight (+other little things but mostly its about the time spent). in the context of this tale #a protective one was needed to supershield us from death. hence 'tank lb' speaking of ²Tank: one of the three key roles in a fight #alongside Healer (self explanatory) and dps (damage-per-second– hence damage dealers) the tank is solid and takes hits #so that the others dont have to. its sturdy and healthy and looks particularly yummy tovthe enemies to make tjem want to hit Just this guy #in this specific story there were Two tanks #one of them seemingly having knowledge of the specific fight we embarked on #the other likely not. neither of them activated the special limited use bug spell we needed to survive though (only they can) #and for ur curiousity dear scientual i play as damage dealer. so that i cant be the bearer of thus sort of mistake ever 👍 #though granted dps also could do LB fumbles in this specific fight apparently. twas the fight disclaimers on the guides jdjfjfd #'do NOT cast dps LB UNLESS the boss himself os casting something or else he'll activate invulnerability and make it all useless' #+8second of invulnerability??? bro i just elected to not even try it even before the fight went. awry. #even tho technically my position is good for damage lb its ok given how it went i doubt anyone would mind that no one hit the lb gjdjsjsjsks #to be fair its one of these situations where its better left to the healer in case all goes wrong again #(author note damage lb does big damage. healer lb does big heal and if maxed out on its capacity can even ressurect anyone dead) #(hence. given the struggle. it was better off being theirs even outside of the odd conditions of the boss turning invulnerable) #dont think anyone used it tho #its ok.

[astranite]

--whiney rant and vent--- starts at tumblr but descends into my life.

Fucking tumblr!! *grabs tumblr and aggressively shakes it*

Some new hell update has made it so every time I reblog a post, i go right back to the top of my dash and have to scroll half a mile through the posts Ive already seen to get back to the ones i havent yet seen and want to see!! And even with the scroll bar it takes ages and breaks the loading and makes it nearly genuinely unusable!!!

But Im still going to even though it sucks, because tumblr is my designated scroll and look at characters time and be with mutuals. And yes this is a very small whiny thing to rant about, especially given the state of the damn world, but with the rest of my life imploding in many numbered crisises that even one of would be apparently considered a fairly major thing to have to deal with im now realsising because through massive amounts of avoidance id just gone "this is fine" despite being very reasonably banned from the word fine by 5 different people and then me, and then others going 'wow that really is alot' semihorrified, and I awkwardly laugh because i am used to this and its not that bad and whatever stupid shit i tell myself to keep going.

So yes, whining about tumblr because at this point its a load bearing coping mechanism. And its somewhat a last straw because i am barely hanging on as it is but ill deal with this like everything else because there isnt any other options.

#astra stuff #ill survive this i just got to be dramatic about it first #and some of this stuff i dont think im actually being dramatic about because its really not fine #yknow the stressed and terrified with the whole trying to move out and figuring out how possibly can i because at this point i really need #chronic illnesses being chronic annoyingly #trying to hold everyone together and then myself too #dumb panic attacks because im on a hair thin trigger but shrugging them off halfway through because i dont have time nor energy for this #the whole fucking cpstd thing which apparently psychologists dont hand out like halloween candy #so there really is a problem here given meeting the diagnostic critera #and what happened to me being just so incredibly Fine! #you can probably at this point see exactly the reason why i write scott like i do #okay apparently more dumb rant in the tags #and im getting really sick of the goverment social whatever services fucking hold music #plus the daily attempt convince my stupid emotions that nooo everyone does not despise me in particular that doesnt even make logical sense #ugh #cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can

[skeletalheartattack]

"BLJ" actually stands for Biden Long Jump <isnt sure if youre aware of mario 64 speedrunning technique backwards long jump

and if joe biden was put into half life 2 he'd do an "ABH", as in: Accelerated Biden Hop

#ask #catboygirljoker #oh of coarse i know the mario speedrun tech #i was doing that shit when i was like 6 #i cant remember how we learned it but id have to imagine either before or after learning about gamewinners dot com #we used that site for like. everything. especially when we were trying to find blue coins in mario sunshine #speaking of mario. im reminded recently of something didyouknowgaming brought up in a mario 64 video #specifically that the 1-up hidden in whomps fortress's tower behind the breakable wall #and they were like ''oh this was found recently'' (as of the posting of that video) but me and my family knew about it when i was a kid #i couldnt tell you how we knew but. i remember breaking open the wall as a kid through my foggy memory #also as for hl2. recently been doing another run on my new computer. #specifically another gravity gun only run. this time on hard mode just to make sure its possible for me to humanly do #which. i got past the part i thought wouldve been an insane roadblock for me to get past #i have a lot of fun doing the challenge. this is like my 3rd or 4th time doing it. #granted the first few times i did it. it was more me trying to figure out the least ammount of weapons to finish the game. #which my goals with the first few times was like... me just playing through relatively normally without too much speedrun tech #which mainly avoided doing prop jumping. only because i thought it wouldve been much harder than it truely is. #i am a little sad that if i do happen to stream my go-through of the run that it may not be as magical to watch with me knowing what to do #i dont know if id feel confident in streaming at any point in the future. im hugely self conscious #but anyway thank you for your biden tech!!! :)

[hella1975]

im genuinely the dumbest person alive

#im so fucking angry with myself im SO stupid #like yes im only 20 ive never really handled my finances alone before #this is only my second year of paying rent EVER there was bound to be mistakes #and im lucky to have a family that can support me when those mistakes inevitably occur. but my fucking goddddd #basically i didnt plan ahead and turns out my TOTAL student loan for this year covers my TOTAL rent this year #but ofc the installments dont cooperate and the sums are different per semester etc #so instead of looking ahead and going 'oh shit my last loan won't be enough to cover my last rent installment' #and using that very easy to make observation to figure out that i need to be saving the leftover money from my loan throughout the year #i instead went 'omg i have leftover loan this term!' and fucking spent it #im short £600. im going to owe my parents £600 #and yes in the grand scheme it's not a huge amount of money like it could have been #but not only will i not be able to pay my parents back until july bc i CANT take out of my america savings #and i definitely cant start saving up £600 ON THE SIDE OF TRYING TO SAVE A GRAND FOR AMERICA #but on top of that being in debt to my mum is the worst thing in the entire world and now i have no choice but to be in debt for 3 months #before i can even start paying it back. like that's 3 entire months that she's going to use it as a stick to beat me with #like not only does she sometimes REFUSE to take money that i earn waitressing bc she insists on having the debt paid through actual labour #but she's also just a complete bitch about it and i know it's very spoilt to expect not only to be covered when i get into debt #but to also expect her to be nice about it but like. im not asking her to CODDLE me i get initially it makes sense for her to be angry #but she could at least acknowledge that i ALWAYS beat myself up over shit like this way more than anyone else will #like im so mad rn im trying not to cry just bc im so FRUSTRATED and the entire time she's fucking shouting in my face #about how she moved out at seventeen and had three jobs at uni and no one to support her etc etc #and just name-callling shit im already calling myself like it was an HONEST MISTAKE #she's acting like i purposely went behind her back and took £600 when i was very visibly horrified when i figured it out #and i immediately came clean to her regardless of how scared i was to admit it. im just so mad like i know i sound spoilt #and like im huffing and puffing over something that could have been SO MUCH WORSE if i didnt have my parents to cover me #but like. i can pay her back within 2 WEEKS of waitressing. ive never handled my rent before. i didn't do it on purpose #and im more annoyed with myself than she can ever be and she KNOWS that about me. so like. please dont shout at me lol #it's just i was SO proud of myself for saving for america and how hard ive worked and i should have known i was gonna fuck it up somehow #& now the £1500+ i'll total have saved for america that i worked so hard for is gonna be tainted bc i owe £600 all bc of my own stupidity #hella goes home

[bostonbakeddeans]

i think that being trapped in a room for 12 hours while various sitcoms play in the background without being allowed to question the premise of the shows should be classified as a hate crime actually

#my coworkers remembered that we have a TV and so the majority of the shifts ive had in the last few weeks #have had fucking sitcoms in the background #mostly friends #and im just so fucking sick of it. im tired of having to sit quietly for 12 hours and listen to fucking laugh tracks #and people be mean to each other #and im losing my ability to be curious about it which frustrates me #usually if media doesn't connect with me (which happens frequently; hello autism) #i can treat it as a learning exercise: what is the goal of this media? why might others find it appealing? #and more and more im like. i dont get it and i cant figure it out and its frustrating and i dont like it #and im tired of it!! i dont think its funny when people are just shitty perpetually! #do allistic people need the laugh track to cue them that something is funny??? what is the purpose of a laugh track! #i hate it i hate it i hate it #ugh!!!! #and i dont trust my coworkers to be able to answer me honestly/helpfully/non judgementally #if i ask why these shows are considered funny #so i just stew in my own misery and confusion and annoyance for 12hrs #i am a well marinated chunk of Autism

[rivilu]

Hey hello can i be sad on main or will the heavens unleash 7 thousand ravenous hawks upon me

#river rambles #vent post #tw for basically everything bellow just saying it now #sorry the last 8 years of not a single reason to live are getting to me <3 #i hate being alive i hate being trans I hate being autistic and not able to work like a normal person #to provide my transition to myself instead of having to rely on parents that kiind of support me? (dad) or are straight up pulling - #the 'you're making MEEE SUICIDAL!' card (mom) #i hate not being able to talk to people like a normal person #it's not even just the autism anymore i feel like i've been the worst version of me for such a long time i dont even know where to start #dysphoria is so fucking bad and getting worse every single day and any semblance of trans positivity winds up feeling toxic #like even body neutrality feels like an insult. im at a point where i want to tear myself apart just when i'm sitting still #i hate being told to wait for things to happen #the dreaded 'it'll get better' #it hasnt #it's been EIGHT. FUCKING. YEARS #nothing helps. i've exhausted every option within reach. no words of encouragement help at all #literally the only OPTION is to wait. and i've had! ENOUGH OF IT! #I've dreaded pride every year because it feels more and more like i'm living a lie being there. im not PROUD of being trans. #All i feel about it is misery. All the time. I hate my body so fucking much i cant do a single thing i want to do #most of my early years after figuring out im trans i tried to just ignore it and focus on pride about my sexuality #since i couln't transition then anyway #but as time went on and i became an adult and there's still not a single glimpse of light on the horizon. I can't focus on it anymore #because you know. those things are interconnected. So now i just feel like an unlovable piece of shit! #Like i will never be what i was meant to be. what i want to look like. #and i dont even want to try for any manner of relationship before that . because even if anyone DID like the current version of me #that's not even me #birth is a curse and existence is a prison etcetera