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nyerus · 7 months

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The Narrative Importantance of Hualian's Sexual Intimacy

This is a repost and minor edit of a thread I made on Twitter yesterday. This is a topic I have always wanted to talk about because of how often it comes up in TGCF fandom, time and time again.

‼️CW: mentions of sexual assault, self-harm, bodily injury‼️

⚠️Major spoilers for the entire novel ahead⚠️

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Saw a question the other day on what relevance Hualian being sexually intimate by the end of the novel had to either the narrative or Xie Lian's character arc.

In short: it bears significant relevance, especially in context of other themes the novel explores like bodily autonomy.

Throughout the novel, we see time and time again that Xie Lian is often dehumanized by pretty much everyone—including himself—with the sole exception of Hua Cheng. I've talked more in depth about it in an old twt thread, for those interested. @/stalliondany on twt has also made an excellent recent analysis that goes deeper into the specific ways Xie Lian was used as a physical shield, martyr, or scapegoat for others without thought to his humanity or suffering. I highly recommend reading it first!

But to sum it all up: it's important to Xie Lian's character arc to keep in mind that he is used to seeing his own body as a tool to solve problems. And in crucial narrative moments, he is robbed of his bodily autonomy, and either brutalized or violated in service of others.

One of the plot points that ties together all these concepts is actually... Xie Lian's chastity vows. That will be the main focus of this post.

When he was a young teen (or possibly as a child), Xie Lian took an oath of chastity because such was the norm for cultivators seeking ascension in Xian Le. To Xie Lian, even as he grew older, he never had an issue with this because he just never felt sexual attraction to another person, or any desire to be intimate in that way. Even if he yearned for the concept of being loved. And indeed, at first glance, his chastity vows may seem like nothing more than a side note. Or even a funny gag when it comes to Hua Cheng (later).

In reality Xie Lian's chastity vows are not only used against him, but paint a very disturbing picture with regards to his repeated violation.

The Land of the Tender scene is the most obvious example of this. Xie Lian's vows are directly tied to his spiritual powers, and because it affects how his followers see him. They place a high value on his chastity as being vital to his moral character.

For reference, an excerpt from TGCF vol. 3 of the English print translation, page 135:

Xie Lian's method of cultivation required a pure body. Those who worshipped the ascended cultivators who practiced this path were firmly convinced of the transcendence of gods untouched by earthly desires. If they couldn't protect their purity, their following would no doubt collapse and their powers would be devastated. It wouldn't be as serious as plunging from godhood to back to mortality, and there was still the possibility of recovery after many more years of cultivation—but with things as they were now, there was no time for him to sit behind closed doors and cultivate for years!

As a reminder: it is Bai Wuxiang who orchestrated this whole thing. Him trying to compromise Xie Lian in this way is horrific on many levels, yet that's not the main point I want to make here. It's that to preserve his "pure body," the solution Xie Lian realizes is to severely harm himself. To impale himself with his sword through the abdomen.

The juxtaposition of having to maintain bodily purity versus the gruesome violence inflicted on his body is extremely stark.

This grim contrast is no more evident than in the 100 swords scene. Where Xie Lian's body is literally brutalized and defiled to an unthinkable degree. To the point where he, quote: "no longer looked human." Yet he emerges from that temple physically "pure" all the same. His chastity vows were not broken, his body healed without scars. As though he was untouched.... And yet, he was completely destroyed mentally. It left permanent effects on him as a person. It's even worse when the scene is read analogous to sexual assault, as many have talked about before. I think that interpretation actually hits the nail on the head, especially keeping in mind the Land of the Tender scene and all the similarities between them.

Following the 100 swords scene, Xie Lian of course has a complete disconnect between himself and his body. I believe this is part of why he doesn't really feel pain, except when he is with Hua Cheng, who treats him and his body as one. As a person who is cherished, and loved. Hua Cheng is adamant in his adoring treatment of Xie Lian. Small injuries are also something he cannot tolerate because he knows what horrors befell Xie Lian in the past. (He was present at both the terrible moments mentioned above.) He will not let any of that continue, regardless of what Xie Lian says, because he sees it as injustice.

Xie Lian is willing to use himself as a tool to help others no matter the personal cost. He even thinks of it as something he must do, or that he deserves as penance. But Hua Cheng is the one person who asks "what about you?" He's the one that insists "your happiness matters." And it is Hua Cheng that takes issue with Xie Lian's chastity vows as being unfair, unlike everyone else. Regardless of Hua Cheng's reasons for this diegetically, symbolically it means a lot that he is the one opposed to this.

Just thinking about the chastity vows on their own for a moment: Xie Lian can indulge a little bit in stuff like alcohol, which isn't great to begin with for him. But he absolutely cannot engage in "pleasures of the flesh." He can totally have his flesh ripped from his bones, literally, but actually experiencing any kind of sexual gratification? Now that would make him unclean, and lesser.... Why? Because unlike everything else, that's something Xie Lian would do simply for himself to feel good. And what greater crime is there than to ever dare put himself first?

So Hua Cheng—being the one person who puts Xie Lian first above all else—thinking that such a restriction doesn't make sense is important. Hua Cheng being the person who Xie Lian breaks those vows for in the end is important! (Especially because it seems to have been an easy choice for him.)

And of course, the scene with Jun Wu and the Virginity Detector Sword™ has to be mentioned. Again, there's symbolism to be had! The perpetrator of two of the most physically violating moments of Xie Lian's life (both of which were sexual in nature; one literally and one allegorically) being the one to "check" Xie Lian's virginity... oof. Yikes. It's dramatic irony. It's deeply uncomfortable. Especially because Jun Wu probably wanted to know if Xie Lian slept with Hua Cheng, as he already knew Xie Lian wasn't the ghost fetus' father.

So it's once again a stark juxtaposition: of Ghost King Hua Cheng disagreeing with the purity vows, wanting Xie Lian to break them for himself and his own freedom. Versus Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu wanting to weaponize those vows against Xie Lian in whatever way he can, intact or not, to keep control over him.

Naturally, there's something to be said for the real-world problem with such purity vows being used against people, to judge their moral character, societal expectations, etc. Elephant in the room. It's very on the nose, so there isn't even much to say about it that hasn't been said already.

In the end, it comes down to how horrible it is that when Xie Lian tries to help others, it results in immense harm to his body every time. Yet he is expected to continue to bear it, for centuries, by others and also himself. Until he meets Hua Cheng, who helps him rediscover what it means to be happy, and to be loved. So yes, it's absolutely relevant that in the end, Xie Lian decides to break his purity vows to be intimate with Hua Cheng. That he's able to put himself in Hua Cheng's hands, and let himself be treated with affection and desire. It's Xie Lian finally forgiving himself, and beginning to heal.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #hualian #meta #nyerus.txt #crosspost

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transmascissues · 2 years

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every day i think about how my old psychiatrist (who was notoriously horrible on many levels, to be clear) tried to convince me to stay on the antidepressants i was coming off of when i told her i was starting testosterone because she was convinced that i’d be incapable of handling the “intense mood swings” that she said it would cause if i was unmedicated

mind you, i was coming off of these meds because they were doing absolutely fucking nothing for me and she had fought me on stopping them every step of the way — in her mind, me starting t was the perfect chance to make one final (transphobic) push against my desire to stop putting completely pointless drugs in my body

she consistently referred to hrt as me “going on steroids” and told me with every ounce of condescending concern she could muster that she had never had a patient start t without being on antidepressants (as if i was supposed to see that fact as anything other than further proof that her main goal as a psychiatrist was just to make as much money as possible by pushing meds on people)

i tried to explain to her that countless trans people i’d talked to had said that being on t made them feel more emotionally stable, not less, and that i had already chosen a method of hrt that would minimize hormonal fluctuations as much as possible, but she wouldn’t believe me — there’s no question in my mind that she just saw me as a ~naive little girl who didn’t understand how testosterone could make my life hell~

and of course, my mom jumped on that idea and started telling me about how it’s not that she doesn’t like that i’m trans, it’s just that she’s ~so worried~ about what the ~big bad testosterone~ might to to my ~poor fragile mental health~

and when i started t, i was terrified that they would be proven right

now i’m 5 months on t (and a few months post-ending that doctor-patient relationship as well) and what do you know? my mood is better than ever! my therapist (who has known me far longer and actually cares about my well-being) says she’s never seen me this happy, and that she feels like i’m actually living for the first time! it’s been incredible!

in fact, i’ve come to the realization that i most likely had premenstrual dysphoric disorder before t, and that it was contributing to a huge percentage of my mental breakdowns and suicidal thoughts, so it seems there were hormones causing mood swings that i couldn’t handle without proper treatment after all, but testosterone isn’t the cause of those issues — turns out it’s the treatment i desperately needed to manage them!

and after some research and hearing from other people, i’ve learned that it wasn’t all anecdotal after all, because some studies have actually found evidence to support the idea that testosterone has antidepressant effects — i told my therapist that testosterone felt the way the antidepressants i had been on were supposed to feel, but i had no clue there was science to back that up

so now i’m just left being endlessly furious with the way testosterone is demonized as some horrible poisonous drug that will destroy your mental health along with everything else in your life, because being on it has improved my quality of life exponentially and that alone makes being on it SO worthwhile, but no one ever gets to see that side of being on t because they’re so busy drumming up fear about how it’ll wreck your moods instead

of course, that’s not to say some people don’t experience serious mood swings on t, because i would never deny someone else’s experience with their own body and mind, and i think it’s important that people know those effects are possible when they start t

what i AM saying is that i would guess that if you looked at pure numbers, more people have probably had a really positive experience like mine than a seriously negative one, and it’s very telling that the negative ones are portrayed as a universal part of being on t despite seemingly being a smaller percentage when you actually talk to lots of trans people, while the positive ones are portrayed as a fluke at best and impossible or even deceptive at worst despite being a really common theme in trans people’s accounts of being on t

testosterone is medicine. testosterone is healing.

it doesn’t solve all our problems — i’m certainly far from cured of all my mental health issues — but it sure as hell lightens the load, and i’m sick and tired of people acting like it’s a horrible thing and not the fucking miracle worker that it is for some of us

#transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #trans men #transmascs #testosterone #hrt

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one-flower-one-sword · 5 months

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"Mu Qing spat out a mouthful of blood and grimaced like he'd been stabbed where it hurt. He replied, spiteful slowly, "Thank goodness I kicked you out. If we'd kept you in the army and let you get closer to His Highness, were you going to watch him all day with your mind full of unspeakable filth? Disgusting!"

Xie Lian's heart squeezed violently. Hua Cheng had his fist raised at first, but it froze in midair when Mu Qing spat the word "disgusting." Veins bulged on the back of his pale hand. The fingers clenched and loosened, loosened then clenched.

A long moment later, Hua Cheng said icily, "For now, I won't argue with you on that point. [...]"

TGCF Volume 6, page 66

Hua Cheng's reaction here is really interesting - and gets more heartbreaking the more you think about it. I think to understand it, we need to take a look at his distorted self-image and his extreme self-blame whenever he feels he's failed Xie Lian in some way. While doing this, I think it's important to keep in mind that we're looking at these things as separate from Hua Cheng's very real - and very earned! - confidence in his knowledge, abilities, and strength. He knows exactly what he can and can't do and has no problems stating those things as facts. That "aggressive, rebellious confidence" as Xie Lian describes it is a defining part of Hua Cheng's personality and who he is as a person, that is then juxtaposed by a surprising fragility in other matters.

Right when we meet Hua Cheng at just ten years old, he's already been abused for so long and so severely that it's made him actively suicidal. He's also already internalized that his right eye is ugly, evidenced by the way that he keeps covering it with his hands when the bandages are removed after he was beaten and dragged through the streets by Qi Rong and his lackeys:

After a pause, Xie Lian smiled softly. "The doctors will see to your wounds now. Don't be afraid and lower your hands, okay?" The child heard but hesitantly shook his head.

"Why not?" Xie Lian asked.

He was silent for a long time before replying, "Ugly."

TGCF Volume 2, page 349

The right side of his face also appears to receive the most abuse when he gets beaten, as Xie Lian realizes when he sees him again a few years later and his bandages come loose after being attacked by a group of other kids:

During that scuffle, the bandages on the boy's head had been partially yanked off, giving a peek on the other half of his face. It was quite swollen, covered in black and blue bruises. It was obvious that these injuries hadn't been caused by the brawl just now. TGCF Volume 3, page 56

It can be deduced that he probably learned very early in his life that if people see his eye, he gets beaten. It seems to be known around the area that he frequently gets beaten up and kicked out by his family, to a point where even kids from wealthier families know about him and refer to him as apparently everyone else does - the "ugly freak":

"Wow, wow, the ugly freak got kicked out again!" Although these kids were all around the same age as the boy in the shrine, every single one of them was taller than him and looked like their parents fed them well. There was probably a holiday coming up, since they were all dressed in new clothes and shoes. [...] "Hey, ugly freak, are you sleeping at the shrine again tonight? Watch out, your mom is gonna beat the crap outta you when you get home!"

TGCF Volume 3, pages 54-55

This post is going to get quite long, so I'm putting the rest under a read more.

Hua Cheng seems to internalize this view of himself as something ugly and revolting to a point where even hundreds of years later, he's wary about showing Xie Lian his true form. At the same time, he seems to long deeply for Xie Lian to see and accept the real him, so he tries to test the waters when Xie Lian asks the "young master" on the ox cart what Hua Cheng looks like :

The youth laughed. "Who knows? But he's blind in one eye." He pointed to his right eye. "This one."

That was nothing outrageous. Xie Lian recalled one of the many backstory versions where Hua Cheng wore a black eyepatch to hide that missing eye and asked, "Do you know what happened to that eye?"

"That's a question everyone wants the answer to," the youth replied. Others asked because they wanted to know what Hua Cheng's weakness was, but Xie Lian asked purely out of curiosity. He didn't say anything, and the youth continued, "He dug it out himself."

TGCF Volume 1, page 175

And then again after they're back from Banyue:

Hua Cheng didn't turn around but continued to stare at the dilapidated ceiling of the shrine, and Xie Lian could only see this handsome young man's left profile. Hua Cheng said softly, "If I was ugly."

"Huh?" Xie Lian gaped.

Hua Cheng finally turned his head slightly. "If my true appearance is ugly, would you still want to see it?"

Xie Lian was taken aback. "Is it? Although there's no real reason, I never thought your true appearance would be too horrible-looking."

"Who knows?" Hua Cheng said, half-jokingly. "What if I'm discolored, disfigured, ugly, monstrous, and horrible. What will you do?"

At first, Xie Lian thought this line of inquiry was rather fascinating. So the overlord of the Ghost Realm, the one called the devil incarnate and feared by all in the heavens, would care about his looks? But when he thought about it deeply, he didn't think it was very funny anymore. He vaguely recalled, in one of the many rumored backstories of Hua Cheng, one said that he was a disfigured child from birth, or something along those lines. If that was true, then he must've grown up discriminated against by others. Maybe that was why he was particularly sensitive about his appearance.

TGCF Volume 1, pages 369-370

This quote is really long but I wanted to include all of it because Xie Lian's realization here is very important - Hua Cheng's issues don't stem from vanity but from being othered and subsequently abused because of his unusual red right eye. The society they're in shows many instances of ableism, racism, xenophobia and classism, where any attempted change to the status quo as well as anything that goes against "the norm" is regarded with instant suspicion and rejection - as Pei Ming puts it once, "Where there is abnormality, there is evil."

When he finally does show Xie Lian his true form, Hua Cheng is anxious about it up until Xie Lian remarks that it doesn't look bad:

Xie Lian examined him as he followed, smiling. "So, this is your real appearance." Hua Cheng paused slightly in his step. Maybe it was his imagination, but Hua Cheng's shoulders seemed to stiffen for a flash of a second. The moment didn't last, and Hua Cheng responded naturally. "I did say that the next time we met, I would greet you with my real appearance."

Xie Lian grinned and said earnestly, "Not bad." Xie Lian's tone wasn't teasing or consoling, the words were simply said. Hua Cheng gave a small smile back, and this time, it was genuinely relaxed.

TGCF Volume 2, page 103

Xie Lian's acceptance of his true form seems to have reassured Hua Cheng enough that he appears in it a lot more regularly after that, though it's always with the place where his right eye used to be carefully covered. He's also still too afraid to tell Xie Lian about their shared past and who he really is, and even more afraid to confess his feelings because he fears that then Xie Lian will no longer look at him with acceptance and instead see Hua Cheng as this:

He pointed at a little blood-red person on the wall. Right next to it, there were a bunch of messy, twisted, indiscernible characters - it looked like they had been written in a state of delirium or scrawled to vent the author's feeling during a period of extreme suffering. Based on those characters, Xie Lian could guess that the little blood-red person painted there was Hua Cheng himself, but for some unknown reason he had depicted himself as extremely ugly and disfigured.

[...] There was an ugly little blood-red figure at the bottom of the mural. It cupped a small flower in its hands, which it was offering to the statue.

TGCF Volume 6, pages 52-55

Hua Cheng having internalized this distorted "ugly freak" image of himself isn't the only thing tripping him up though. Every time he can't prevent Xie Lian from getting hurt or can't help him, Hua Cheng takes it as a personal failure on his part and immediately seeks to punish himself. Be that by lashing out at Eming, which is essentially an extension of himself:

Xie Lian stroked Eming. "Fangxin is still better suited." Fangxin remained motionless. Eming had tried so enthusiastically to offer itself up but was so blatantly rejected. It hopped back to Hua Cheng's side, weeping. Hua Cheng didn't spare it a single look before he smacked it with a backhand slap. "What are you crying about? This happened because you're useless! Trash!"

TGCF Volume 5, page 120

Or denying himself to touch Xie Lian, like after Xie Lian got accidentally hurt by Eming (an especially cruel punishment given that Hua Cheng had longed for Xie Lian for hundreds of years):

Hua Cheng, however, let go of his hand. "Don't mind them," he said to Xie Lian. "Come with me." His voice was low, the emotion behind it hard to discern. Yet the way he let go of Xie Lian's wrist was swift, almost like he'd been shaken off.

TGCF Volume 2, page 192

Repeatedly witnessing Xie Lian be brutalized and violated while he didn't yet have the power to stop it from happening traumatized Hua Cheng deeply and left him with a wrathful anger that he wields not only against those who wronged Xie Lian but also against himself for any and all perceived failures.

Now, what does all of this have to do with the quote that started it all? In it, Mu Qing accuses Hua Cheng that if they'd have kept him in the army, he would have kept watching Xie Lian "with his mind full of unspeakable filth! Disgusting!" (the fact that he describes a man having romantic feelings and sexual desires for another man in such a way comes off as extremely homophobic of course but that's not the topic of this post)

Hua Cheng, who hates Mu Qing deeply and with good reason, then not only stops his assault but actually goes on to say that he won't argue with him on that point for now. His inner conflict shows in the repeated clenching and loosening of the fingers in his fist - he's extremely angry and would usually never agree with Mu Qing, yet finds himself unable to deny his words. It's noticeable also that it's the "disgusting" that makes him freeze up.

So why would Hua Cheng, someone usually so confident and so unapologetically himself, concede this point to Mu Qing, someone he hates and who's just been viciously insulting him? I would argue that there are two possible reasons.

First of, if viewed through the lens of everything we reviewed in this post, Hua Cheng feels like he "can't argue" on this because he does desire Xie Lian and always has - while at the same time knowing that he, an ugly disfigured other that has repeatedly failed at keeping the God he's pledged his existence to safe from harm, could never be good enough to deserve being with said God like that.

Second of all, as I analyzed in my previous post, Hua Cheng's reaction to Xie Lian having seen the statues and murals is profound fear and heartbreak because he's so sure Xie Lian must now be scared of and disgusted by him. At this point in the story, Hua Cheng is still utterly convinced that his feelings aren't requited, which is something he can deal with. But what he can't bear is the prospect of his feelings, his very devotion, causing Xie Lian pain. Failing to keep Xie Lian safe from being harmed by others is bad enough, but hurting Xie Lian himself? Unforgivable. His fear that his desire for Xie Lian will be upsetting to him is so strong that even after the confession scene, his immediate reaction to Xie Lian even just mentioning the murals is "I'll go destroy them" (Volume 6, page 88), and he doesn't calm down until Xie Lian reassures them that he only saw a few of them and won't look at the others if Hua Cheng doesn't want him to.

#tgcf #rereading tgcf #hualian #hua cheng #i almost didn't post this despite how much work it was #because i kept second-guessing myself and overthinking everything #so now I'm just gonna throw it out there and hope for the best haha

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frogchiro · 2 months

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I hear it is time to spread the word of our lord and savior Tachanka? 👀

link: (https://rainbowsix.fandom.com/wiki/Tachanka_(Siege) Context of link: Just the wiki page of R6 operator Tachanka.

But I wanna highlight a few things!!!

Alexsandr Senaviev was born on November 3rd in Leningrad, Russia to a military family. At the age of eighteen, Senaviev was conscripted into military service just as the Soviet Union was ending its operations in Afghanistan. Upon the dissolution of his draft, Senaviev opted to enlist full time. He was part of the wrestling league, where his formidable frame and match strategy earned him accolades.

Alexsandr Senaviev has a boisterous sense of humor with a booming laugh. He can be quite blunt, but without the intent to offend

Senaviev's younger sister is a doctor and our discussion had barely started when he was showing me pictures of her in her doctor's smock, along with a dozen more photos of his nieces and nephews and his own kids. […] He and his sister grew up in a strict household without many things, which is why he makes a great effort to enjoy life. They both make sure that their kids are loved and raised with laughter. At the same time, he doesn't like to buy or accumulate physical objects and emphasizes this with his children, much to their consternation. I suspect that's also partly to do with his divorce. […]

(Also the main reason why we refer to Tachanka as 'lord'/godly is mainly 'cause his weapons/loadout is shit.)

Ladies and gentlemen, we got ourselves a REAL LIFE DILF <33

From what I gathered on his wiki he has at least two children, one of them a son and an ex-wife! Also him being an ex wrestler because of his size and strength...

Imagine being a babysitter for his kids, a 6 year old boy and a sweet 3 year old girl who absolutely adore their nanny who spends the majority of their time with them since their father is still a busy man and their mother is using her newfound freedom as a divorced woman so you're babysitting the little ones for a hefty sum from their dad whenever you're free from college.

But you have to admit, while the kids are literal angels and a delight to babysit, they nor the money are the sole reason for you being so eager to babysit and their father, Alexsandr, played a huge part in it too.

He was so large and heavily build, no doubt from his years in the military but his charming, boisterous attitude combined with his broad, toothy grin that almost seemed boyish on his mature face was what really made you fall for him :(( Whenever the kids were playing or napping, you two had a little time with each other to just talk and spend time together, get to know each other better because 'Let's not make this one of those stick-in-the-ass rigid employer-employee relationships, yes?' as Alexsandr put it himself.

The connection between you deepened but you were still so shy under his clear blue eyes :(( You couldn't possibly do the first move, what if he doesn't return your feelings? He's much older than you, he has a military career, two kids and a divorce, surely he wouldn't ever be interested in someone like you...right?

Ofc little did you know that Alexsandr was tugging his lengthy, heavy cock every night after sending you off with a thick wad of cash and a loud, happy thank you for taking care of his kids, though in reality he was everything but happy :(( Like it or not but the burly male fell for you, the most cliche thing on earth, the young, sweet babysitter that visited him home almost every day to care for his little ones with a gentle smile towards them and him too, such a stark contrast from his ex wife...

He was cumming every night multiple times to the thought of you right here beside him, in his bed, all nice and naked, sated and warm after a night of passionate love making. He came on his hairy tummy with a displeased growl, once the post nut clarity set in and realized that he wasted so much precious seed when it could be inside you >:(

Alexsandr knew he had to have you, had to confess to you how he felt but didn't know how; his loud, charismatic attitude failing him for the first time in years but these thoughts were for the time being pushed back once again to the back of his mind. He could think of a better solution on how to win you over once he wasn't so terribly horny, testosterone clouding his mind as his heavy cock jumped to life once again, thick potent sperm oozing from his swollen tip and Alexsandr could only think about how well he could breed you, he was a real stud despite his age y'know? Plus he always wanted another kid anyway <33

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #rainbow six siege x reader #lord tachanka #tachanka #tachanka x reader #i can't with the fact that the 'lord' part is sarcastic bc his weapons are shit😭#rainbow six siege #r6s x reader

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onbearfeet · 2 months

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Kat watches Moon Knight

Okay, so with the encouragement of several people on here and the emotional support of my roommate, I have finally (in February 2024) started watching Moon Knight, a show whose basic concept scares the shit out of me.

Context: I had an adopted older brother with DID. Note that I said "had". That's past tense because life treated him so appallingly poorly that he died (horribly, in prison) when I was 19. Part of that abuse was enabled by pop-culture depictions of DID in the 1980s and 90s that convinced everyone who knew about his condition (including the court system) that he was a walking time bomb.

One of my earliest memories is of my brother as a young adult, playing Super Mario Bros with my toddler self. Another is of him patiently teaching me how to make friends with a large dog. I never met any of his alters, afaik; I was small and cute and safe for him to be himself with, so he probably didn't need them around me. He was a profoundly gentle man when he was allowed, and it hurt like hell to see him turned into a monster in movies and on TV. I've turned off a lot of "psychological thrillers" in sorrow and disgust.

Ironically, I loved Moon Knight comics as a kid in the 90s, BEFORE he was retconned to have DID circa the mid-2000s. Because those comics came out right after my brother died in 2002 and leaned HARD into making people with DID seem like violently unstable monsters (for reference, see the cover of Moon Knight: God and Country), I stopped reading them around 2008, when I couldn't take being poked in the trauma by a comfort character anymore.

But I do love Werewolf By Night, and there's been a lot of good fic mashing Jack up with Moon Knight without dehumanizing anyone, and several people have encouraged me to try the show. So this post will be a place for my thoughts as I try to work my way through with my Essential Editions in one hand and my memories of my brother in the other. I'll add to it as I watch.

If this entertains the Moon Knight fandom or provides useful fic reference, so be it. Just don't be jerks on my post.

Also, anyone who chooses to be shitty about my brother will be eaten by bears. I don't make the rules.

Episode 1

Okay, we open with Steven as our POV character, and he's...convinced he's a sleepwalker. All right, not terrible. Steven is now a bumbling nerd, which is probably an improvement; good luck making a billionaire playboy sympathetic in the 2020s. Jake would be the logical everyman POV from the comics, but I understand from fic that he's got a different role now. I'm confused about the accent, but it's only episode 1, and Steven clearly doesn't yet know who Khonshu is, or that Marc exists, so obviously there's a ways to go here. (Is Marc ... undercover inside Steven? Ugh, this is a trope I have seen and do not like.)

Did Marc kill Steven's fish? Did Khonshu kill Steven's fish? I'm baffled by the fish. Which is a nice break from the larger anxiety. I'm gonna try to worry more about the fish.

The bits with Steven losing time and finding himself in odd situations were distressingly close to the old tropes, but both of those happened to my brother, so I'm not going to bitch about them quite yet. I want to be as fair as I can.

Oh, hey, I recognize Harrow from the comics. What up, dude. How's the cult biz treating you?

The end of the episode, with the jackal thing chasing Steven into the bathroom, came RIGHT up to the line for me. I realized that what I was most afraid of was that the story would assign "good" and "bad" labels to the alters--make Steven the sweet, innocent one and Marc (or maybe Jake, I guess) the monstrous killer. The early flashes of Steven covered in blood didn't really help allay that anxiety. And now Marc is demanding that Steven let him have control in a pretty threatening manner. But so far, it seems like the contrast between Marc and Steven is one of competence--Marc is better at fighting and Steven is better at ... panicking? Unclear. At least Oscar Isaac is playing the protagonist, so his character(s) might remain sympathetic. Nobody has been monsterized quite yet.

I finished the episode with every muscle in my body locked up, waiting for the emotional punch in the face. But I did finish it, and I think I'm gonna try episode two.

#kat watches moon knight #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #i guess I'm processing trauma again #hello trauma my old friend

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hopplessilse · 8 months

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Instagram search

Insta!Joel x Fem! reader

Serie Masterlist

Summary: Your life is so routine that there is nothing that makes you want to continue. The universe is with you and illuminates you with a profile that catches your eye. Just press the follow button and your life takes a turn. (no outbreak, no use of y/n).

Rating: 18+explicit (minors dni)

Words count: 2.8k

Warnings: age difference (Joel in late 40's, reader in early 20's), reader is virgin, flirting, f! masturbation, lonely/jelousy thoughts, need for attention/validation masculine, divorced parents.

You were lying on your bed, after a shower you felt calm and clean. There was background music in your room, through a small speaker that was on your dresser, you were on your cell phone scrolling through Instagram posts. Normally you spent your time reading on some social network or sometimes you gave yourself the chance to read the books that rest on your furniture.

Your life had become so routine, you felt it simple, there was no spark of emotion, there was nothing that made you want to be another day, you lived the days without any change, the only thing that made your routine different was doing activities that you liked , like your hobbies, that you stopped doing for a while until you felt motivated to do them.

You had started to write, something you had wanted to do since you started reading since you were 12 years old, but like everything, you only wrote when you had the inspiration to do it, you didn't like writing for the sake of writing, you wanted a story that was good, that could transmit something like those you've read before, that make your skin crawl, your body tense by the character's words, shed the occasional tear of happiness, sadness or anguish.

You kept scrolling until you found a photo that seemed to be a landscape, you clicked on the publication and smiled when you saw the photo, it was a landscape in the forest, the pines and trees outlined the banks of the river, rocks in the middle of it where small waves formed and passed over them, the sun with the morning light, so warm and golden that it reflected so beautifully in the river. You scrolled to the second photo where the same landscape was there, but this time a man was in the photo, he was sitting on a rock in front of the river, his back was to the camera. It was a very beautiful photo.

You decided to enter the profile, Joel Miller, read in his biography and under it it read 'contractor'and under this 'proud dad', looking at the profile you realized that he did not have many photos, there were only 5 publications, one of them referring to his work , another one was made of carved wood, another of a guitar and there was another one that caught your attention more, a polaroid, where you could see a young girl kissing on the cheek who you thought was the same man of the photo of the river, when you read the description it had the caption 'I love you girl' you smiled when you read that, you assumed at that moment that that girl was his daughter, if not more.

He looked old, you guessed he was about thirty or forty-something. You found it attractive, the photo didn't look great but you could see that it was, he had a beard, a bit, short hair, you didn't know what color it was since the photo had a purple color, one eye was half open while the other was closed . You didn't think much and hit the follow button, you weren't planning to do anything, you just found it interesting, you hadn't seen anyone his age have an Instagram, not even your favorite actors had, curiosity won you over. You just left Instagram and left your cell phone on your nightstand, a long sigh left your lips.

You woke up when you heard noise on the ground floor, when you opened your eyes you closed them with a slam since the sun was hitting your face directly, you turned around and saw the time on the clock that rested on your nightstand next to your cell phone, it was 11:14 in the morning, you sighed and got up.

You knew that your mom was going to blame you for that

You showered and got ready, you couldn't stop thinking that tomorrow you would go back to university. All vacations you had a terrible schedule that you did not know how the hell you were going to wake up at 5:00 am, although you do not regret it, those nights reading helped you survive the boring summer you had.

When you went downstairs you saw your mom at the kitchen table drinking coffee.

"Until you wake up" she said looking at you out of the corner of his eye while drinking his coffee

"sorry" you looked at her resting your hands on the edges of the chair "is there something for breakfast?"

"No, I'm waiting for you to accompany me to the market to buy"

"Mom" you complained while you were going to put on your shoes

“you know how this is”

"Why doesn't Louis come with you?" your voice sounded at the bottom of the stairs while you were already going down with your shoes on "he never accompanies you"

"Because he doesn't like it" she got up and put her cup in the sink "let me go for the money" she disappeared up the stairs.

We were in the meat section, my mom was going to buy some wings, ground beef and ribs, to have at home. What my mom said was true, I like coming to the supermarket, I honestly enjoy doing things for ladies, it relaxes me a lot and I enjoy it and even more if it's with my mom.

"Have you already told your father to pay the re-enrollment fee for the university?" my mom told me while looking at tomato sauces

"Yeah, I told you a few days ago"

"You'd better remember him, since he forgets everything"

"yep, when I get home I'll send him a message"

You turned around just to look at the section in front and you noticed that a man was looking at you, and not in the best way, honestly it disgusted you.

"You already have everything for school" your mom told you, leaving a sauce in the cart

"I'm just missing the folder"

"let's choose one then"

.............

"Wash your hands so you can help me with the food!" your mom screamed from the ground floor

“yes mom!” you yelled back walking into your room

You were already used to wearing socks at home, or failing that, wearing flip-flops or slippers. You took off your shoes, throwing them somewhere in your room, you looked at your cell phone on your nightstand and suddenly you remembered….

Shit!

You quickly grabbed your phone and sat on your bed unlocking it, you saw that you had messages and notifications from various applications, but you saw you had only 1 from Instagram.

Joel Miller has followed you back

"Aaah!!!" you couldn't help but scream with emotion covering your mouth at the end to silence your screams

"OMG, don't fuck with me" you whispered to yourself

Your door opened suddenly, in the frame holding the door lock was your brother.

"why are you screaming?"

"For nothing that interests you" you said raising your eyebrows at the pair

You saw him disappear without letting out a snort on his part, you just looked at your cell phone smiling at the notification, you didn't know why a random man was making you smile so much... well, he was very attractive, older and when you saw the ones he was following, you knew that He was not the type to follow anyone he saw, you assumed that you were an exception, an exception that perhaps caught his attention like he did to you.

You went down with your cell phone in hand and a smile from ear to ear, you had your day made with just that notification and knowing that he would see all the things you upload from now on.

You helped your mother to prepare the food, you made a pasta with ground beef and cheddar cheese, take your cell phone and take a photo to upload it to the story, your mother called your brother to come down to eat. While you were at the table, your mom and your brother were talking about college and their plans after graduation, you just listened to the conversation and said a few things to give your opinion.

You couldn't believe that he was already going to graduate, after so many years studying, and you...entering your third year of university, you still had a long way to go since your degree was 9 semesters, 4 and a half years of degree,you could not wait for the time to graduate, but you had no idea what path you would take in your professional life.

When you finished, you left your plate in the sink and went to your room to prepare your supplies for the university, which consisted of a folder, your case, a small bag where you had feminine hygiene items, disinfectant gel, your balm, some garters for hair and a mirror.

At the end you couldn't help but take your cell phone and look at the views of your story. Some of your followers gave it a heart, but the person you were waiting for had only seen it, no reaction or response.

What did you expect, you moron, he was going to answer a story about a pasta! (you said to yourself mentally)

"I need a soda" you said to yourself

You went back down to the kitchen, poured yourself a glass of coke, and the front door rang.

"I'm going" you went to the door, when you opened it you found your dad smiling

"daughter" he greet you while hugging you

"dad" you hugged him back

"and your mom" came in and sat in the living room

Every time someone invokes her, it doesn't take long for her to appear

"What happened" your mom came out of the hallway to sit across from your dad in the living room

"I have to talk to you"

"Don't tell me you won't be able to pay your daughter's tuition" my mom said angrily

"No" he said irritated "it's something else your children should know too" he looked at your mother more seriously

it couldn't be anything good, every time they talk they always end up fighting, whatever you know won't end well

"speak" she sighed and your brother appeared on the stairs standing still

I'll spare you the details.

Basically in short, my dad will have a child… yes, with someone else. what a fuck

My parents have been separated since I was 8 years old, for as long as I can remember and as far as I can remember, they have always fought, they have not been able to have a calm conversation, only long after they divorced. The arguments always had another person involved, or they complained about how they were with each other and their attitudes. I honestly don't remember a time when my dad was affectionate with my mom or she with him.

They have always put us first, they separated because theirs was no longer working and they were not going to drag their children into it, although I was left with some traumas. It took a long time to know what my dad was like, I always had a good image of him, I love him because he is a good dad, maybe like a husband never was.

Anyway, the obvious news didn't sit well with me, or with my brother. My mom just limited herself to giving him advice, obviously she didn't care how much he did in his private life but they knew they could count on each other.

He stayed until it started to get dark, we spent the afternoon talking, many topics came up.

When I finished dinner my dad left, I got ready to go to my room and take a bath.

Whenever I took a bath I put on music, relaxed and had a good time in the shower. When I left I did my daily skin care routine, I put on combing cream, I put on cream and brushed my teeth. For this it was already 9:25 pm I wasn't sleepy at all, so I only watched videos to make me sleepy.

You won't believe me but… I can't sleep

It was already 11 o'clock and I couldn't fall asleep, and above all this I couldn't stop thinking that my dad would be a dad again, with another woman. A woman I knew a long time ago, but that's another story.

I couldn't stop thinking that i would no longer be his little daughter, the one who was always attached to him, now there would be another person who would take up space in his heart, I'm jealous that's the truth, jealous of someone who hasn't even been born. My dad is the only masculine energy that gives me attention, the only man I like to hug, the only one I laugh with non-stop.

Fuck this.

You grabbed your phone and went to Instagram, you didn't think twice and looked up Joel's profile, you hit the message button and without hesitation you started writing.

Hi :)

You hit send and your heart began to jump with nerves, it's done, you've sent a message to the beautiful man who could probably make your days different.

Your cell phone vibrated in your hand, you quickly saw the message

Hey

The truth is that you thought he was not going to answer you.

How are you?

You bit your lip from nerves, what the fuck am i supposed to talk to him. You saw the bubble appear and then the message appeared

Not so bad, how' s your night darlin?

It's a joke! He call me darlin.

You felt your cheeks burn and you couldn't help but smile

Not as good as I'd like, but I'm better now

Problems with boys?

No, rather the correct word would be dad

Oh sorry honey I guess dads ain't easy

Not at all, hey..

What's up

I really liked your photo of the river, it looks like a beautiful place

Thank you, if it is

where are you from, sweetheart?

from austin

And you've never gone further?

It's too bad, you should go, someone should take you

Was it being offered?

Could you be the one to take me, I mean, since you've already been to that place

how old are you sweetheart?

Shit you're so young

Can't you with that?

A little laugh left your lips

HA you don't know what you're saying honey

You bit your lip as you felt a chill run down your legs, you were thinking about what to write until another message appeared on the screen

I'm too old for you

Shit! Shit! Shit! As much as I like to hear that, the memory of being a virgin invades me more and more frustrating me. But…he shouldn't know, not for now

How old?

27 years older, do you think you can handle that?

Yes, you can teach me some things

Your hand went to the edge of your pajama shorts, slowly inserting your hand.

Yeah…what kind of things honey

You were going to answer when your door suddenly opened making you jump and take your hands out of your shorts. again it was your brother

"you scared me idiot" you put both hands on your chest and the cell phone under them

"what are you doing?" he said as he entered the room and looked at himself in the mirror

"nothing" you stared at him

"you know there's a mirror in the bathroom, right?"

“your room has better light, and the mirror is bigger”

He always did that, he always entered your room as if it were his, without warning, without asking, nothing. But when you entered his he would question you and get angry.

You threw a stuffed animal at him and he turned around with a frown

"Can you leave please" you said through your teeth

"How heavy you are" was the last thing he said before leaving and closing your door

You looked at the last message Joel had sent you, you didn't know what to reply, you didn't know whether to say daring things, act submissive, be more shy or just change the subject.

Hey, I have to go to sleep, tomorrow I'm going to the university

You were afraid for some reason for his answer

Sure darlin, don't worry, rest

Good night

You waited for him to send you another message but he didn't. I knew it wasn't a good idea to cut it like that.

You were in need of male attention, the little he gave you made you put your hands in your panties, you touched yourself again and oh surprise, you were wet.

You didn't like having to suffer, you didn't like being left wanting, so you did what you do best, you touch yourself. You tried to stay as quiet as possible since your brother's room was next to yours, you started soft but you couldn't stop thinking about Joel, how handsome he looked in the photo, you imagined how good he would be to you, telling you sweetheart, you thought if he would make you cum faster than you did yourself.

His hands around your hips, your breasts, your neck, your mouth silencing your moans. How would his fingers be, thin, long or thick. How his arms would feel around you, his hair around them, how strong they were, his veins….

"Shit," you breathed out, closing your lip tight.

You let out little whimpers, some of them stuck in your throat so as not to make so much noise, you were so close, just imagining it finished you, you threw your head back, squeezing the pillows under it while your hips arched from friction.

I need him to fuck me urgently.

I think in the end, they were right, we virgins are dirtier.

#fanfic #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #pedro pascal characters #smut #x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader

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odditycircus-2002 · 9 months

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Shang Tsung x Medusa!Reader Part III: Aftermath

FIRST

For some reference, this takes place around MK11: Aftermath Story Mode. What happened between that and the last post is up to you to decide. Oh and in this scenario, Sindel isn't a villain (Let's be honest that ret-con did her dirty), rather she'll be aware of what she's doing BUT, you, the reader basically are controlling her like a puppet. While perhaps unnecessary, I suggest reading my other posts to understand what's happening here. Now, on with the show!

You were tossed in the Void similarly to Shang Tsung, Fujin, and Night Wolf because you, too, refused to take Kronika up on her offer. That and you were taken first before them as Kronika's Insurance so that your husband would complete her Crown of Souls. In fact, your entire existence was made and written so that you were essentially a carrot on a stick for Shang Tsung.

Understandably, you're more than a little bitter about this being true. Still, whether or not your love for Shang Tsung changes(Though, let's be honest, you were bemused and absolutely jubilant when you found your DEAD husband not dead and alive), that doesn't stop you from conspiring with one another to bring Kronika to her knees. A fact that Fujin and Night Wolf suspected while trapped within the Void, without knowing you two are married.

Then again, how would anyone really know? The demigod brothers were used to your glamor and mask that made you look more human rather than your gorgon form.

Plus, it helped that while Shang Tsung still wore his wedding ring, you kept yours on a cord around your neck, hidden beneath your clothing.

In front of the others, such as Lui Kang's allies, you two also acted formally with one another, with brief and curt exchanges if you needed to interact. Leaving others to believe you both used to be in Shao Khan's court.

Shang would be adamant about not needing your medicine or help whenever he gets injured in any battles you face. Yet, you wouldn't have any of it, you just got back your husband, and you are sure as FUCK not gonna lose him again.

"Shang, you old fool, you're useless to anyone if you can barely walk or see straight!"

Although, you didn't let any of your actual concerned sentiment seep out from you; instead, you just assure Shang that he can "pay" you back later. This works in both your favor as Shang Tsung openly healing you can also be seen as chipping away his tab with you.

While neither Night Wolf nor Fujin suspected your marriage to Shang Tsung, they still were wary of both of you. So they would try and keep you physically separated. Shang Tsung's honesty track record is abysmal at best, and you're already known to be a notorious dealmaker that lives in a cave.

Still, when both of you can slip by their watchful gaze, you'd both would exchange hushed, tender, and encouraging words to one another. Yet, words aren't enough for you to express just how much you've missed his presence. His company has always been far more entertaining and fulfilling than any souls you've bargained with or stone slaves you kept in your cave as security.

Shang Tsung can only use many words to express his pride in you. He would make many promises and vows to you to give all you desire in his new Era, to make up for all the years he's lost with you.

Despite a few hiccups regarding restoring Sindel to life, mainly in the form of you turning one Tarkatan to stone and shattering another, the process was successful thanks to you, Shang, and Fujin. Or so it seemed.

You took the liberty of briefly snatching the Jinsei Fujin collected to add just a few drops of venom you specially made to those that can't hold up their end of the bargain into the bottle. So whether Sindel realized it or not, you pulled the strings.

Funny, some of you almost felt bad for what you'll put Sindel through. Here's a loving and heroic woman who lost her husband and realm to Shao Khan, then her life to ensure Earthrealm's protection. Only for that sacrifice to be reduced to meaningless when Quan-Chi resurrected her to force her to act on Shao Khan's will, including brutally murdering the very people she tried to protect. Only for her leash to be passed to Shinnok and Quan-chi after her second death at the hands of Night Wolf. Finally, after years as a pretty little puppet, she has restored memories and body. Now reunited with her daughter and able to apologize for leaving her alone with Shao Khan as a young child. Well, almost being a keyword here.

You first had her free the man she hated the most, her "husband" Shao Khan, from his imprisonment. You can imagine her horror when her body started moving beneath the Kolosseum, without being prompted. When she tried to open her mouth to shout for help, you made sure no words could escape her. The next time she opened it again, well it was to let out her banshee scream, peeling back the flesh of his Shokan guards. You give her some reprieve by letting her kick Shao Khan in the face, hard. Enough to break his nose and a few spikes of his.

You laughed through your enchanted crystal when Queen Sheeva saw the gruesome scene before her, with horror and disbelief in her eyes. Sindel could only get a few words out, insisting that she was not in control of herself, before you had her let out another scream and put the Shokan Queen out of commission before quickly using Sindel as your mouthpiece to spin a tale to convince the rest of the Shokan that Kitana Khan was to blame and to swear loyalty to her to avenge Sheeva. Sindel could only watch the scene unfold from her eyes in horror.

You have to give it to the former Queen. She fought hard against your control, thrashing against her invisible strings harder than anyone before her to the point it seemed physically painful. Even managing to snap out of your control briefly to rectify her actions before you ultimately took back her strings. You chalk that one up to her willpower and the fact she made no soul-binding contracts with you.

The pieces began to fall into place after using Sindel to explain to Shao Khan the plan you and Shang Tsung had concocted to restore them both to their rightful place. With Sindel as your puppet, Shao Khan was slowly able to take back Outworld's armies. And because you were in a good mood, you allowed her some control over her voice again, enough so she may speak her true thoughts and motives. Apologizing in tears for all she's done and wishing she was stronger, letting her daughter know she loves her more than she'll ever know. There were still tears in Sindel's eyes when you retook her voice to command Kitana to be put in chains. Nobody on the other side knew it was you except for Shang Tsung, not when you were fighting alongside Raiden and Fujin against the Netherrealm's army.

When Shang Tsung tricked Fujin into finally giving him the crown, his first move after putting it on was to embrace you in his arms and unabashedly passionately kiss you. He ran his fingers through your snakes that affectionately curled into his touch with your arms wrapped around his neck.

"Fujin, Raiden, I believe you're familiar with my wife?"

Saying you had a diabolical grin on your face, made more evil-looking by your boar-like tusks jutting from your upper lip, would be an understatement.

After feasting on Fujin and Raiden's souls, you turned them into stone to preserve them for later. However, that's when Sindel finally broke free of your control, first to briefly brawl with Shao Khan for harming her daughter before you pulled her into combating you. In the end, you not only beat Sindel in combat but, to ensure she can't do anything further, have her look into your gaze and turn to stone.

"Do not worry, your Excellency. I can reverse the spell later and make it so she's devoted to you for all eternity. "

Not surprisingly, both you and your husband betrayed Shao Khan and drained him of his life force until he was nothing but a barely breathing husk of what he once was.

When Shang Tsung defeats Kronika, and before he starts working on the Hourglass, he takes your wedding off from the cord around your neck to lovingly put the jade and nephrite ring in its rightful place on your hand. You both share a loving kiss before he starts getting to work, well before Fire God Lui Kang arrives.

If your husband wins, he makes good on all those promises he made you earlier, including making you a throne of your own right beside him. Because you had such fun with Sindel and Shao Khan, they, too, become your personal servants, similar to Shang Tsung with Raiden and Fujin. While Kronika is long gone, Shang Tsung is forever grateful that she made you. You are his Empress, his equal in power and mind, his beloved wife. Now, there'll be no one in all of existence that can ever separate you two.

If Lui Kang wins, you can only fall to your knees amongst the dust that once was Shang Tsung. Lui Kang would look upon you with pity as tears start pouring from your eyes, a first for you in eons. You touch your damp cheeks before closing your eyes, taking a breath, and looking toward the Fire God with a strained smile.

"Can I please join my husband too?"

"Are you sure, Y/N?"

"I'm certain, he was my life after all. Whether or not I wanted him to be."

Lui Kang acquises to your request. You whisper "thank you" as you turn into dust and join your husband.

In the Fire God's new Era, he will ensure you turn out differently and, hopefully, kinder. And to keep you and Shang Tsung as separate as possible. However, even if you manage to meet through oceans of time, then at least it'll be your choice whether or not you fall for the Sorcerer.

Playlist while writing this:

"Poor Unfortunate Souls" by Pat Carrol

"Judas" by Lady Gaga

"Momento Mori" by Fish in a Birdcage

"Mary on a Cross" by Ghost

"Queen of White Lies" by The Orion Experience

"Look what you made me do" by Taylor Swift

"I'm the Bad Guy" by Andy Bean and Noel Wells

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #shang tsung x reader #Shang Tsung #Mk11 #Mk11 Aftermath #fujin mortal kombat #nightwolf #mk x reader

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tocomplainfriend · 6 days

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REDESIGN AND TIME PERIODS!

SirPentious died in - 1800 / Alastor - 1933 / Nifty - 1950s / Angel Dust - 1947

So I realized unless you told people who didn't know trough streams or wikis-they wouldn't know what time period the character is from! So here have some small stuff for redesigning here! Do research, you have no idea how fun it is to design with all the big references pulled up!!

The most obvious ones are Sir Pentious and Al.

Pen talks in an old way, not actually accurate, but you would get the point. +The Napoleon outfit by the end. +Steampunk is based on 1800-1900! Besides that, him calling the female character Miss/Missy or similar also part of it. Him imidiadlty saluting blabla

His suit doesn't match old suits and seems to be stylized the usual way all the others characters with Suits. (I know Pen wants to be hip with the kids but trowing away the idea of old clothes would be crazy to do) The entirety of the 1800s has different styles each decade too, we are focused on British late 1800s. There are fun variations of clothes too! (btw, in terms of redesign, search up for accuracy videos of people enjoy that style of clothing! Or steampunk!)

he colors can change and figures can always be exaggerated. Take this site I found while making this:

But he is Steampunk! Which is even more similar to the time period, and Pen pretty much gets a washed up version of Steampunk aesthetics. Many more fun outfits are there (for inventors too!)

Alastor is easy to tell more,' 'when' he is from. His specific way of speaking is also easy recognizable. +Radio theme.

The 30's were difficult in the USA, specially for the not 1%... to casual outfits and practical compared to years before, still stylish. + there is the place where you give attention to his Radio star and being mix person in those times affects his clothing!

Watch this video!

youtube

Angel: He does not communicate nor 40's or Mafia (why put on those themes and not used them, I understand the idea of Angel being more modern or kicked out of his mafia family but common!) + remember the possibility of drag!

youtube

Nifty: She died in 50s (her old puddle skirt was PERFECT!) There are so many iconic Hairstyles from this decade too... She would still be a maid, but she still has a style. (I don't think you can tell when she is from, even in her acting, tho).

youtube

Some redesigns:

#vivziepop critical #vivziepop critique #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel criticism #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel redesign #Youtube

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teethcritter · 1 year

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Alright, so. Finn and Princess Bubblegum. Yeah, yeah. Hero and the princess, a story as old as time. We all know the princess in question is by no means into boys, as Patience put it.

So what happens when we look at their relationship from a purely professional standpoint? A lot!

So, let's start with some background information, at least in my view of the characters. I think personally, that it makes sense for PB to have known Finn for a while before season 1. I like to think that she actually helped Jake with raising him, as she probably would've checked on the tree house from time to time with all her surveillance issues and a certain vampire breakup. And I mean, who's to say she wasn't in contact with Joshua and Margaret as well? They had, supposedly, the only human left in their hands. She would've been interested in that. She would've been very interested in that.

Now, let's take a moment to consider what being partially raised by a princess / mad scientist would do to your brain. Let's take a moment to consider what being a knight at such a young age would do to your brain. Clearly a number since the very first episode of the series is Finn and PB causing a zombie apocalypse.

PB was shown in a very morally grey light right from the start. What Have You Done?(s1ep24) is one of my all time favorite episodes because of how well it's portrayed.

Finn is pretty willing to cross her in this episode once he realizes that the right thing is not what she asked of him, but it certainly sets the groundwork of the CONSEQUENCES for doing so; as well as "The princess is always right," mentality he seems to have for most of the series. (A/N: these clips are taken out of context of the full episode, I highly recommend you watch the full thing to understand what happens in it, why PB and Finn do what they do, etc. This goes for all the eps I'll mention.)

As Finn ages, we see his relationship with PB change a LOT. Even after he gets over his crush, he still seems to worship her. In a way that she's kinda conditioned him to.

A very important thing to note while I talk about this, especially around this part, is that I STRONGLY believe that neither of these characters are in the wrong in the relationship. I don't think one is abusing or manipulating the other. It's a two way street. They are both making it worse.

The next episode I'm going to reference is Princess Cookie(s4ep13) (Another A/N: I apologize for the google drive links from here on out, Tumblr only allows one video per post. Cringe.)

By this point, Jake is willing to cross PB AND FINN in the name of doing the right thing. Finn however, is not. As we can see clearly here. Jake has a criminal past. Jake understands that crimes are often committed by people with a very messed up mental state. Those people need help, not a lifetime in the dungeon. But clearly, Finn doesn't get that. Which is not his fault whatsoever. He's been a knight since at least age 12.

I also find this dialogue from the same episode incredibly interesting. I know Jake was playing a part here. I know he was trying to de-escalate the situation so that PB wouldn't send in the guards, but these words still left his mouth.

And I don't know, the fact that he quickly had to correct himself makes this seem genuine to me.

This concept can actually be explored further in Burning Low(s4ep16) which is literally two episodes after this.

I was originally going to avoid Burning Low in this analysis, despite it being one of my favorites, but it is pretty important to the relationship between Finn/Jake and PB. It doesn't take much for Jake to flip out on PB in this episode, which is a drastic contrast from his demeanor in the first half of it. It really makes me consider the fact that he could have some deeply rooted issues with her. Or even, some deeply rooted issues with how much time Finn spends with her.

Another small note from this episode, is this.

We know for a FACT that this is not romantic jealousy in the slightest. I think that Bubblegum has gotten so used to being worshipped by Finn, that now that there's someone in the way — especially someone who she has such a strained relationship with — there is this weird jealousy. Not because she's in love with Finn, but because he's growing up. Because she isn't the sole princess in his life anymore. Because she has one less person 100% fixed on her and her alone. Because Finn is HER knight.

Alright, now before we move onto season 5, there's one more thing from season 4 that is worth talking about. This scene in The Lich(s4ep26).

This scene is one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole show for me, because of a few reasons. First of all, this is after Burning Low. This is after both of them have their explosions at her. But this is about Finn. Finn, right now, thinks that PB is jealous of him and Flame Princess. He thinks that now that there's someone in the way, that suddenly she cares. Which isn't entirely wrong, as I stated in the previous paragraph.

I think that her reaction here was partially a trauma response. Her reaction to Finn in general around this time period could be in relation to Mr. Cream Puff as well, since as we see in Bonnibel Bubblegum(s10ep4), was not a consensual relationship. Of course though, his pursuits were unwanted. Her reactions don't have to be because of a specific thing. She said no, case and point.

Now, I'm not going to get into the insanity of Farmworld Dimension, but I do think it's interesting that this interaction is the last one between the original Finn and PB. Of course Finn after Farmworld is still technically the original because of the paradox Jake created, but it's still interesting to me. Anyways, like I said, I'm not going to get into that in much detail.

Onto season 5! Frost and Fire(s5ep30) is a hard watch. But I rewatched it for this and actually made a connection that I've never made before. Jake says to chase the Cosmic Owl dream, which leads Finn down this road of manipulation. I don't put Jake at fault whatsoever, I highly doubt he expected Finn to do what he did. Finn fucked up — Aaand... I can draw some pretty distinct parallels between Finn and Flame Princess' breakup, and PB and Marceline's breakup.

Frost and Fire

Obsidian(AT:DL ep2)

After the breakup, Finn is not in the best mental state, obviously. He still doesn't understand what he did wrong and I think that's partly what's eating away at him. He doesn't understand what happened. But in a desperate attempt at getting back to normalcy, he gives himself entirely up to PB again. And then we get this line from the episode Rattleballs(s5ep46)!

PB tells him to relax, and he goes off to fight things in a dump. As you do. He finds Rattleballs there and after some training, Finn asks how he ended up here. Rattleballs explains that he escaped Bubblegum's mass execution. And he asks Finn to not out him, but loyalty to the Princess comes first.

Finn thought that Rattleballs and PB could talk it out at this point. Which they did kinda end up doing. But that is so goddamn interesting to me. He doesn't know the lengths of which PB goes, but it's so clear that deep down he DOES acknowledge that something is not right with her. Which means by proxy, something's not right with him either.

I'm going to break away from the show here to reference the comics. I know they're not canon, however the Princess and Princess graphic novel doesn't really contradict anything from the show, so I think this is of note. Finn isn't scared of her, he's scared what she'll do to other people. Very interesting.

Okay, back to the show.

In Hot Diggity Doom(s6ep42), PB loses the crown. This interaction is one that stands out to me.

Obviously the situation is tense. They don't want to serve a dillweed, but "We pledged our allegiance to you," freaks me out a bit! We didn't see this happen. This was before Slumber Party Panic(s1ep1). We don't know how Finn and Jake became her knights. They also seem to be aware of something relating to Cream Puff, as both of them know he died somehow. They both mention in it Slumber Party Panic. Besides exploding when scared, candy people don't die of natural causes as far as we've seen thus far. I do wonder what happened to that guy.

And this monologue in The Thin Yellow Line(s7ep25) doesn't make me feel any better about it. I am fully aware that implying PB did something to him is grasping at straws from what we're given, but hey! It's PB. And boy oh boy, is it interesting to consider that maybe Finn and Jake knew that.

Moving on from that random headcanon though, I want to talk about how Finn reacts to all that information from Banana Guard 16. Obviously he embellished the truth there. PB did what she had to do for the most part, although... not very ethically. Finn knows that. He knew a good chunk of that by this point in the series, and his opinion on her hasn't seemed to have changed. When he actually sees PB at the end, he realizes that maybe Banana guard 16 was right. Maybe she is gonna take him apart. So he, y'know, does a super sneaky thing and switches the guards. Instead of taking to her about it, he puts an innocent guard to death, as far as he knows. And we all know that she didn't actually do anything to anyone in that episode, she even says she's not proud of her past!! Growth!!! We love to see it. Though Finn, seems to have gotten worse.

He's gotten better socially, as he makes up with Flame Princess in Bun Bun(s8ep6), but worse professionally.

And here we go! Another parallel in Varmints(s7ep2).

At the beginning of Islands, we get my favorite scene in the whole show. We get Fern, PB, and Marceline seeing the gang off. And then we get a very interesting interaction between Finn and PB. She explains that if he finds humans, he might find out some heavy stuff about where he came from. She makes him promise that he'll come back to Ooo. And he doesn't promise. They hug, and he leaves. And she says, "He'll be safe." But clearly she doesn't believe herself. Finn, in my eyes, is probably the most important person in PB's life next to Marceline. And she's terrified that he's gonna leave his family for blood.

In season 9, when Elements starts, and Finn and Jake are greeted with the candy tree house, Finn automatically assumes that it was PB, which is something I don't see talked about a lot.

And wow, speaking of season 9! Fern would not have died the first time if PB didn't install a FATALITY SETTING TO THE WEED WACKER. Just a thought. Just an observation, if you will.

Then by season 10, he pretty much spends the entire season trying to prevent the war she's starting. And then in Obsidian, he's still ready to be by her side at the drop of a hat. And to top it all off—

In Together Again, even in death, his first thought for outside help, is her.

This never ended. They never fixed any of these problems. Finn is the knight of a dictator. Even if he wants to be ethical, he can't be. And I think somewhere, he knows that.

I'll probably go into seasons 7-10 deeper at some point in the future but tumblr's image limit for this post was hit a while ago LMFAO

TL;DR if you're going to talk about PB's wrongdoings, you can't pretend Finn is innocent. I strongly believe neither of them are bad people, and that they really do need each other. But that's not good. They actively make each other worse.

#analysis #adventure time #atimers

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sl33paholics · 5 months

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Once Upon An Us

This new series I'm currently starting is a current passion project of mine. I really want to show my baby boy Santana some love (since you rarely see him mentioned in anything on here or at all). This series will be updated every Friday. Almost everything in here is fiction (yes, including the names of places n tribes n whatnot). Refer to this post here to see the jist. Other than that, enjoy :P

Chapter One here

Prologue.

In the heart of the dense, emerald-hued rainforest of Narroranna, the rhythmic pulse of tribal drums echoes through ancient banyan trees. The Bright Arrow Horde, stewards of nature's secrets, gathers beneath the celestial hood. As the elders weave tales of ancestors who communed with spirits and danced with the elements, a shadow falls upon the horizon. Unseen forces stir, challenging the delicate balance between tradition and an encroaching modern world. Little do the people realize that the choices they make will shape the destiny not only of their tribe but also the delicate tapestry of the natural world they call home.

The elders, their weathered faces etched with wisdom, recount tales of the first Bright Arrow, an ancient warrior said to have harnessed the lightning's fury and spoken to the spirits of the forest. As the tribe listens, the youngest among them, Y/N, felt an arm snake its way around her shoulder. She turned to find her father, Karey. "My little star," he murmured. Her skin prickled as if electricity crackled beneath his touch. "These stories have been passed down to generation to generation. The Great Ancestors have blessed our tribe." His words were meant for her ears alone, but she knew it was meant for all of the Bright Arrow.

As the elders started their chant around the fire, their tones got more urgent, the air charged. They spoke in voices like thunder. Y/N strained to understand, but every word seemed drowned out by an ocean of sound. Staring into the flames, she saw sparks shoot up from the wood, lighting the shadows dancing on the walls. It felt like something had crawled up from the depths below, crawling toward her, until she felt the weight of another presence hovering over her head.

Y/N tightly gripped onto her father's arm. He looked down at her, concerned. "Are you well?" She shook her head. "What are you seeing?" Another shake of her head. He held her tighter. "Do you want to leave?" She nodded. He smiled sadly, squeezing her hand. "Then stay close to me." Karey took Y/N out of the circle of elders and led her outside.

The night sky was blanketed with a thick layer of clouds. A sharp breeze whistled past, sending droplets of water flying into the darkness. Y/N and her father sat next to each other on a fallen log by the shore. Y/N wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them tight. "Father," she whispered. "What's happening inside?" He reached out and touched her face gently. "You don't need to worry about it right now, my star." Y/N looked away. "You're young... you're only 14 years old, my little star. You'll get older and wiser and be able to see things much differently than your peers." His gentle smile made Y/N feel so safe. She didn't know what to say. "For now, you should focus on your studies and learning how to hunt and grow crops..." He paused.

"And finding love."

"Love?" Y/N asked.

"Yes. Love is what keeps family strong. It makes us stronger, too. And one day when you're older, you'll know how true it is." Y/N looked away and bit her lip. She'd never thought of it that way. But the truth seemed obvious now. Father was right. Y/N would know the answer soon enough.

It's been nine years.

Y/N walked past the circle alongside her mother, Nayeli. She heard her mother let out a huff as she continued down the path. "I remember those days," her mother spoke quietly.

"You around circle with those other children many moons ago, oh my, how time flies," Her mother said with a chuckle. "Now you're all grown up." Y/N nodded in agreement with her mother's statement, but there was no denying the truth behind it. In fact, she felt quite grown up herself now, at twenty-three years old, but Y/N's mind was consumed by thoughts of the future, of where she was going next, what life would be like when she wasn't surrounded by the people she grew up with. Even thinking about love had never really occurred to her.

She followed her mother down a small hill that overlooked the village. "Mother," Y/N said tentatively. "Will I meet anyone special someday? Someone special enough to marry?" Her mother stopped walking. The wind blew harder, causing her dark hair to whip against her face. She pulled it back with her fingers before answering. "There is someone." Y/N swallowed hard. Why was this such a big deal to her mother, anyway? "Who is he?" Y/N asked. Her mother sighed. "That is why we've waited so long. We wanted to tell you first. He comes from a noble family."

Y/N couldn't help but stay silent throughout the rest of the walk 'a noble family...?' just hearing that made her heart thumped hard in her chest. Upon entering the wigwam, she saw her father across a man and a much more middle-aged male.

Their eyes met, and the moment stretched out for Y/N. Suddenly, the room felt small, suffocatingly hot.

Soon, the three were now sitting in front of the two men.

Their heads bowed forward in respect, waiting for a reaction from the two. "Y/N, this is Chief Alo of The Golden Ribbon Children and his son, Kele."

Y/N smiled politely, offering a small bow. The younger male grunted and crossed his arms as if to refuse the offer of introductions. Y/N was relieved. It felt awkward. She wasn't used to being around people her own age. "We've been told out of many of the women he's introduced to his son, none of them seemed to suit him," her mother said, "but Kele has agreed to accept you as his wife. We've given you the proper ceremony."

Kele glared at Y/N. His dark brown eyes looked almost black. For some reason, that irked her. How dare he look at her that way? She glanced up at her father. He stared back, unblinking. She swallowed hard, hoping her nervousness wouldn't show through her expression. "When exactly are these ceremonies, Chief Alo?" she asked.

Chief Alo chuckled. "Well, you mustn't be too impatient. There's nothing wrong with a few more cycles to settle down, you know." Kele shot him a dirty look. Y/N fought off a smile. Her mother cleared her throat. "Perhaps give us two months? That sounds fair, yes?"

Y/N nodded slowly. Two months sounded good. It was better than being married to a stranger. She would have to learn to live with Kele, after all.

After all of the conversation and arraignment, they said their goodbyes and left. Y/N sat there in silence beside her father. Neither had anything else to say. Eventually, she broke the silence. "I don't think I could go through with this, father." Her voice wavered with emotion. "I mean, marrying a stranger? You told me nine years ago that I should find the one that suits me best. An arranged marriage? How could you and mother do this behind my back...?" Her words tumbled out quickly, spilling forth from deep within her soul. Her father's face softened. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, child. This was bound to happen someday. The Great Ancestors have brought this upon us."

"How can you be so sure?" she cried. Her father hesitated. He stared off into the distance. When he finally spoke, his voice seemed far away. "Because I'm sure that this will bring great happiness to our tribe, to you and your siblings. This will be a blessing." He squeezed her shoulder. "A blessing? To be married off to someone I don't even know? What sort of blessing is this?" Tears started streaming down her cheeks. She tried to hold them back, but she was helpless, sobbing uncontrollably, not noticing as her father wrapped his arms around her.

She hoped that soon things would fall apart.

#anime #jojo no kimyō na bōken #black writers #female writers #poc writer #black reader #x black reader #yandere jojo #pillar men #battle tendency #santana jjba #santana jojo #yandere jjba #jjba smut #jjba part 2 #jojos bizarre adventure

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onedaughterofman · 1 year

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Enough (Papa Emeritus IV x g/n reader)

Summary: No matter what he does, Terzo's shadow always follows him.

Tags: References to the Grammys, cussing, self-esteem issues, fluff and a bit of angst, emotional hurt/comfort. Short fic.

A/N: The official Grammy's account posted Ghost's nomitation for "Call me little sunshine" using Terzo's pic instead of Popia. THAT'S A FUCKING CRIME. MY MAN DESERVES BETTER AND I WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

Anyway, angst fuel.

“Those… motherfuckers!”

Copia paces around the room, arms gesticulating in every direction as he rants. It is unusual to see him so irritated, upset. A part of you wonders why something so foolish seems to bother him that much.

“They know nothing, Papa,” you whisper, letting out a deep sigh when he continues to walk around the room. “It’s just a stupid picture.”

“No! It’s not!”

The yell takes you by surprise. Your brows furrow high on your face, as his voice becomes softer, full of air when he continues. “It’s… fucking not.”

Something is wrong. Copia never yells, especially not at you. The guilt on his face obscures his factions, causing the wrinkles on his forehead to deepen as he walks in your direction. Kneeling in front of you, he places his hands on your knees.

When Copia looks up again, there's a faint glow on his eyes. “I’m ashamed, amore. Perdonami, ti prego.”

It's impossible to reject his apologies when his head meets your thighs, heavy with the weight of his worries. Copia doesn't seem to mind being on the hard floor, because he maneuvers his body to rest in a comfortable embrace as his arms wrap around your abdomen.

In a silent manifestation of your forgiveness, your fingers card through his disheveled hair, nails lightly scratching at his scalp. Copia lets out another audible sigh before you speak up. “This is not about them using Terzo’s picture instead of yours, right?”

For a long moment, he doesn’t reply. Then, gradually, his head shakes. You can’t inspect his face, but the way he clings tighter to you is a visible indicator of his distress. His muscles are tense, almost as if he's getting ready to bolt out of the room at any second. “Haven’t I…” Copia begins, inhaling. “Haven’t I given enough?”

There's nothing that can prepare you for the shock that fills your core when you realize he's silently crying. The tears cling to the corners of his eyes when he looks up to you, a sad furrow on his brows. His mouth is tilted downwards, lip trembling with every sob that he refuses to let out.

Before you manage to state anything, Copia continues. “I did everything they demanded, everything they told me to. And it’s not enough. It’s never enough.”

Oh. Now, you understand better. This goes way beyond a picture or even a nomination. Copia is insecure, as he has always been, way before he became Papa. “The Academy knows nothing. It’s just a stupid award.”

“Terzo won it. I didn’t. And… it’s not only about it. I’ll never be enough for the old man, or for Sister. Fuck, she can’t even call me Papa. I’m worthless, I’m a failure! I'll never be more than just a… cheap copy of Terzo.”

Copia hides his face on your thighs again, body shaking with heartfelt anguish. You know how much this wounds him, how hard the comparison between him and the other Papas have eroded his already poor self-esteem.

It doesn't make sense to you. Yes, it might be true he’s different than his predecesors, but he’s so talented and wonderful in your eyes. If only he could see, you think. If only he could perceive himself the same way you see him. When he’s on the stage, singing in front of a thousand of fans, he shines brighter than any other star in the dark sky. And oh, how much you love to be near him, to bask in his light and walk by his side.

Without hurrying, your arms embrace him back as much as you can. Your palms caress his back, up and down his spine, until you feel his breathing become less shallow, only a bit less shaky. “Papa,” you begin, voice in a whisper. “I can’t speak for the rest, but I know one thing.”

His cheeks are damp when you grab his face, forcing his gaze to meet yours. There are dark traces of smudged paint on his skin, spots you clean with the pad of your thumb. “I love you, and don't care about what Sister, Nihil or anybody out there thinks about you. I understand if you have doubts, but please don’t talk like that about the man I’ve fallen in love with.”

Gradually, Copia’s gloved hands cover yours. His eyes are glossy, immense and brimming with emotions that swirl inside his pupils. He’s speechless, mouth slightly agape as he struggles to find the words he wants to say.

“There’s one thing about my man. He’s wonderful to me, so talented and loving,” you continue, letting your fingers trace his face. “Please, be kind to him. Try loving him as much as I do.”

For a long moment, Copia remains silent. Then, his head falls back to your lap as his arms embrace your abdomen again. “I can’t promise anything,” he whispers, like a secret only meant for you to listen. “But I’ll try if you promise you’ll never leave me. Stay with me, forever.”

A soft smile stretches your lips as you nod. “Only if you stay with me, then.”

He does. For long minutes to come, he stays kneeling in front of you, lost in your tender embrace.

Ps: I wrote this in one sitting before going to sleep. Ghost deserves so much better when it comes to awards.

#ghost band fanfiction #ghost fanfic #papa emeritus iv #papa copia #cardinal copia #popia #ghost band angst #ghost band fluff #papa emeritus x reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #my writing #my fics

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hikari-drkspc · 1 year

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❅ “In The Name Of Love” ❅

character: yandere! shishio tsukasa [dr. stone]

warning: yandere, implication of m0rder, c0nfin3m3nt, poss3ssiv3 tendencies ; MINOR/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 1.2k

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 also this was a request from my main blog!!

“Tsukasa, remember what I told you before?”

You ask in a monotone voice, looking up at your boyfriend who was hugging you from behind.

“I remember every word you say, love, but you have to specify for me to know which one you’re referring to.”

He holds you closer to him and you could feel his warmth seeping in through you. If this were you from 3000 years ago, you would’ve enjoyed his warmth and think of how lucky you were to have someone like him as your lover.

But now, it all just seems so…suffocating.

Ever since he’s been revived back by Senku and joining the Kingdom of Science, he has become more protective and possessive of you.

No, that’s not it.

He’s already shown that kind of behaviour long ago. Maybe you didn’t realize it 3000 years ago because you two just started going out but even before when Tsukasa still was in charge of his own empire, you could’ve at least noticed the red flags he was giving.

He constantly asked you to stay with him and won’t let go of you almost until the end of the day. Even when you were about to try to do something else, he would grab you and force you to sit on his laps.

His grip on you was gentle, but it was enough to make you stay and not move around too much.

You haven’t told this to anyone yet, not even Mirai, but you were actually…dreading the time when Senku will petrify him and revive him back.

All those times when Tsukasa was still in his cryogenic state, everyone kept encouraging you to stay strong and reassuring you that Senku will revive him back soon.

And you would always just reply to them with a wry smile and a “I’m fine,” so as to not worry them.

You originally had thought you were going to feel depressed about this whole ordeal too. But you never did.

In fact, you felt so…free. Almost as if a big burden had just been lifted from your shoulders. You were happy with that.

You actually even wished Senku never found the Petrification Weapon. You truly enjoyed the freedom that you felt. You wished it would stay.

But in the end, nothing ever stays.

Tsukasa was revived and you are back in his grip once again.

You hated every moment of it.

“About being too protective of me! I was just going to help Gen with some of his work. I know you’re protective of me because you’re worried, but can you please just let me do something to help others?”

You finally break free from his hug and turn to him. Your eyebrows are crossed, showing how displeased you are with the whole situation.

“But if I let go of you, you’ll definitely run away from me.”

Your eyes widened at what he said. You didn’t expect him to feel that way. All this time, you had thought that the reason Tsukasa was so overprotective of you might’ve been because he was worried…or maybe even because he wanted to have control of you.

You went quiet for a moment. In a sense, he’s not wrong. But to actually know he felt that way…it’s actually making you feel guilty.

“Tsukasa….I won’t run away from you, so don’t worry, alright?”

You wrap your arms around his large frame, successfully convincing him that you won’t do something like that. He returns the hug and pulls you closer.

“…Y/N, if you truly mean what you said, will you forgive me for what I’m about to do?”

You pull away and look up at him, confused.

“Sure?”

Not even a second after that, you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away from you. You could hear the loud throbbing from your neck after Tsukasa just striked it.

“W-wh…”

You mustered up what little strength you have left to let out a “What?” but even that has proven to be difficult. All you managed to hear was Tsukasa’s last words before you completely lost your consciousness.

“Do forgive me for doing this, love. You’re too pure to be tainted by this dirty world.”

~~**~~

You slowly open your eyes to see the darkness greeting you. You tried to get up but your whole body felt so weak and your limbs refused to work for you. You cursed under your breath and tried to adjust your eyes to the darkness. The place sure seemed familiar.

Then it hit you.

It’s the prison.

You tried to scream out loud but your voice only echoed throughout the prison without anyone responding. You could feel your heart beating rapidly like never before as soon as you heard a series of footsteps nearing you.

It’s not as if you recognized the footsteps or anything, but the way the pace is so calm and unrushed even after your scream of help convinced you that the owner of the footsteps knew you’re trapped in there. And they’re not willing to let you out anytime soon.

And who else would want to do such things other than your former beloved,

“Tsukasa…”

You hissed out his name while glaring at his broad figure towering over you over the cell wooden bars.

“I’m sorry you had to go in here, my love. Trust me, I don’t want you to be placed here either, but I have no choice.”

He tried to cup your cheeks in his hands but you quickly moved your face away from him.

“Tsukasa, whatever this madness is, STOP it. Do you think the others won’t know what you’re doing? Soon enough, you will—”

“They won’t. After all, you are considered dead in their hearts.”

He cut you off with those words and your eyes widened in horror at him. Your lips tremble and you try to hide your unease by glaring at him.

Before you could ask him what he meant, he spoke up as if he had just read your mind.

“I told them that you died. An animal attack, precisely. It’s completed with evidence and all. I did also get some helping hand from some people though. Couldn’t have done it without them.”

He stops for a moment to look at you who were frozen in your place and finally cups both your cheeks to bring it closer to him.

“This cell was built especially for you, back when I still ruled over my own empire. It’s located very deep into this cave, and no one would dare to come here.”

“You mean to say you’ve been planning to put me in confinement for a long time now?! What— I-”

Tsukasa looks at you, his eyes turning soft and he looks so melancholic. You almost snapped at him when you saw that expression. If anyone here is supposed to cry, it’s YOU, not him.

“I didn’t think it was necessary…until recently. When other people started looking at you as if you’re some kind of walking meat that they’re about to devour. It disgusts me so much, and I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I made the decision to keep you safe here….and wipe those people out.”

Your blood runs cold at that statement.

Wipe those people out?

He couldn’t have meant that literally….right?

“W-why–”

You didn’t even realize your tears were running down your cheeks until you felt Tsukasa gently wiped them away. He gives you his soft smile that you used to know so very well, yet it felt so foreign now.

“Because I love you, Y/N. I always have and will continue to forever be in love with you.”

#dr stone #dr stone shishio tsukasa #dr stone tsukasa #shishio tsukasa #tsukasa x reader #dr stone x reader #dr stone tsukasa x reader #tw: yandere #tw: confinement #yandere dr stone #yandere dr stone x reader

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inconspicious-random-thoughts · 2 months

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Alastor and Voxes rivalry is so funny because, aside from their differing perspectives on technology, they really aren't all that different personality wise. They're both master manipulator's that like being the center of attention, they're insecure about the fact that they need others for their power and success (Alastor with his soul owner, who I agree is Roo unless proven otherwise, and Vox with his fellow Vees), and they overestimate how powerful they truly are on their own until getting hit with a major dose of humility (Vox in "Stayed Gone" and Alastor when he nearly got killed by Adam). Heck, maybe these exact similarities may have contributed to their rivalry in the first place.

I adore them. Vox is my third favorite. He was my second but then Lucifer made his grand appearance. TBH I pretty much love all the characters but those three rank the highest by far.

I'm pretty much obsessed with Alastors relationships with everyone. His relationships with everyone beside Rosie and Nifty are oddly complicated. I pretty much walked into the show with the assumption that everyone out for their own. All cut throat and not caring who they step on to get ahead. Which we still sort of get but we also got hit with... found family and relationships-of sinners in Hell. I was going to make a whole post about it last night but it got late so I postpone.

They are both calculating showmen. Emphasizing their words and meaning with large arm movements and such. What I find more alluring is Alastor is more subtle about it but its more captivating. Alastor does do grand movements with his arms and hands. But he can make a grand entrance just by being silent. Either moving by shadow or in his battle, he was revealed to Adam buy standing still and quietly waited for Adam to take notice of him when the smoke clear and flew towards him. Which is quite a testament to his talent and skill as an entertainer and showman that he can command attention without doing anything. Vox is more flashy. I love how he enters a room. Even the less flashy entrance of him walking to his control room in "Stay gone". It was commanding attention even if the room was empty.

Both are similar but both are prideful but I think Vox is less so. Vox realize there's strength in numbers. I think one of the reason why Alastor more adamant about being independent and not relying on others is because of his contract. He lost the right to his own soul for relying on help of someone else. His reluctance to have aid and his pride is his downfall. Which we only starting to see happening.

I desperately want to know what exactly went down between these two. One of my first few post was about those two, and I still incline that's what mostly happen but also it was layered with more things im unaware of. They were clues they were once friends and how Vox reacts, it clearly ended by Alastor. Alastor referring Vox with "Old pal" is so condensing and mocking to further insult Vox.

I doubt we get it but I hope we get a flash back episode about these too. Their friendly banter between each other would be so entertaining. They would jab and jeer at each other preferred technology consistently.

I also want the same between Husk and Alastor. I'm positive they were friends before their deal. At first watch my impression was Husk gambled it away to Alastor in a drunken night of unable to stop gambling. But now the more I think of it the least probable it seems. It appeared turned to him. I think they arrange a deal with two outcomes. One that more favorable to each lord but did a game to finalized the true outcome of the deal. I was gonna make a post about that, probably next week tho.

I think Vox character becomes so complex when it comes to Alastor. Because Vox biggest shortcoming is he gets overly emotional. Which is ironic as he is the most mechanical character in the show. I believe he quite the strategist. Which what really got him to become an overlord and his main role in the Vees. I really hope season two show him really utilizing this ability and make him a proper 'villain' with it. He shown to be level headed and calm but then, the mention Alastor to him he goes of the rails. What interesting his emotions about Alastor is multilevel and complex. He feels so intensely about Alastor but the problem is...he feeling multiple emotions about Alastor intensely. It would be SO easy if he can just feel one thing. Either it be pure hate, pure heartbroken, pure rage, pure nostalgia, pure adoration. But no, he feels them all at once and its overwhelming. He needs to ruin and destroy Alastor or bring him down so he can at least feel he can in control. He needs to control Alastor to at least figure out how to control his emotions for him.

Vox in generally is a man who typically knows what he wants and typically get what he wants. Vox wants Alastor to acknowledge him and accept him, Either it be positive of negative. He wants a relationship with Alastor again either be love,mentor/protege/friendship...or what he settle on, rivery. But Alastor not really giving him that. Alastor barely register Vox since his return or acknowledge him as a rival. Alastor never takes Vox seriously, its all a big joke to him. Its drives Vox out of his computer chip mind. Vox is compelled to prove Alastor the Vox is to be taken seriously. He only feel valid when hell get the attention and acknowledgement from the only person he ever want it from in Hell. Alastor probably knows this and purposely ignores Vox when it doesn't demand his attention to further irritate Vox.

I love seeing fanart or fics that showcase how complex Vox can be. He not two dimensional -despite his face being one. That Vox ventures to take the opportunity to kill Alastor while weaken but when Vox facing reality and force to witness Alastor struggling, Vox in up defending and protecting him. While mumbling to save face that he only make Vox look cowardly if he killed Alastor in his pathetic state and only Vox has the honor to kill Alastor.

He doesn't want Alastor gone. He wants his vexation with Alastor gone, he wants his inadequacy caused by Alastor gone. But as the easy solution to solve those issues is to get rid of Alastor...which he sort of wants. But then again he doesn't. If Alastor gone, a part of Vox self is gone. Alastor is such a large part of Vox, that Vox would feel lost and empty if Alastor was truly gone. Alastor is Vox motivation and driven purpose to prove himself worthy. Alastor gone there's no push for Vox to be better in any aspect. Business, power, himself etc. He would never find much joy again when the victorious high of killing Alastor himself wears off.

Vox seemed disinterested in life in conversations until He discovered Alastor was back. The information brought new life to him. He is driven mainly by Alastor.

I am curious how Alastor feels about Vox. I'm sure more recently he more annoyed by Vox and disgusted by Vees business ventures but enjoy one upping him. But does he ever reminisce their better days together and miss Vox companionship? Feel the loss of their friendship. I want to say there are times he does but he better grasp at compartmentalizing and does not dwell on it too often.

I been wondering one of the reason that cost the rift that Vox has some type of recording Alastor that Alastor did not improve of. It seem that Alastor may not mind modern technology as there was a very clear picture of him. But since of that recording that ended their friendly relationship. Alastor took that as a lesson and distort any recording of himself to prevent it happening again. Might be another call back for "This face is made for radio." Tho, I think that phase might be more of his mixed heritage in the early 1900s.

I am looking forward Vox having more role to play in season two.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin theory #hazbin thoughts #hazbin headcanons #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox

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multi-fandom-simp · 9 months

Text

My soul, my heart, my fault

Part 1/3

Jacearys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader (platonic, sisterly), Lucerys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader(Platonic, sisterly), Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader(mentioned throughout)

-Reader is Laenor's legitimate child in both past and present parts of this fic.-

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters. I do not claim any of them as my own. This work is purely fictional.

Summary: What's dead, is supposed to stay dead. However, the fates decide to make an exception in the case of your younger sibling's unjust deaths. You, who lived through the dance of the dragons, are brought back for the soul purpose of watching them grow again...or perhaps it was die again, you couldn't quite remember. (This will be a three part series)

Side Note: The areas in italics are memories, or moments of the past.

❗TW❗: Mentions of character death and actual character death, murder, angst, blood, incest?(I mean reader was Aemond's niece in past mentions), angst

(A/N: Hello! This is the first HOTD fic I've posted where the reader has a set house and set parent, but nonetheless I am not forcing you to imagine those specifics as their appearance. The reader's legitimate father in this story is Laenor. Simply because I feel like I don't see enough stories/fics with a true Velaryon reader. That being said, if you have any other fic Recs or even requests that involve a Velaryon reader, please send them my way👀. I've also thought about making a series involving a pair of Velaryon twins, so I'd love to know if anyone would be interested in that. Aside from my rambles, I tagged this as both Velaryon reader and just reader so that people may read it if they please. As always, I love to hear your thoughts and see your reactions, enjoy!)

Word Count: 3,924

“Kepus” Your small voice echoed overtop the waves that surrounded your father.

Laenor, who had been previously focused on the sea turned at your call,“ Yes, Tala”

You stumbled through the water until you were able to cling to his side,“ Why do they whisper about Jace and Luke?”

“ Because your brothers are different” Your father explained softly. His hand swept lovingly over the back of your head as you gazed up at him.

“ How so?”

His hands came down to cradle your face,“ It matters not. What matters, is that they are still your brothers. You must not let the whispers get between you and them.”

“ Nothing could ever take me from them, Kepa, I promise” Your tone was fierce, just like the blood that ran through your veins. Laenor smiled and squatted to your level, paying no mind to the water that soaked his clothes. He seemed to study you for a second as if he was committing the moment to memory.

Finally, he took a breath to speak,“ That’s good because you must protect them, Tala. You are their big sister, their fate rests with you.”

“ I can no-” Your father was quick to spot your hesitancy. The hands that once held your face now held your hands. While his features remained soft, fear was evident in his eyes.

“ -You must have no doubts. Doubts lead to death, and fate is already not on your side. Heed my words, Tala, history will repeat itself,” Whether or not he was referring to him and Laena or you and the boys, you’ll never know. What you did know was that history indeed would repeat itself.

In 129 AC, you watched your brother Lucerys Velaryon die, and in 2006 you welcomed him as he was born again as your cousin. Three-year-old you was immensely confused on why these people kept referring to him as your cousin, but as you got older you came to the realization that no one else remembered who they were and that things were different. Whilst Laenor Velayron remained your father, Rhaenyra Targaryen was not your mother. In all honesty, you were not sure who your mother was. One thing was for certain though, your brothers had been taken from you. They now grew up in a different house with no memories of all you did for them eons ago. It was as if fate itself had placed a curse on you. Still, you weren’t one to let the gods dictate your life. Once your eleventh birthday came around, you begged Nyra to let you babysit the two youngest boys. She agreed without hesitation and suddenly you were back to seeing the boys almost every other day rather than in the summers. You thought you had outsmarted time and fate themselves. Six years went by and you had managed to watch the boys grow without problems. Well aside from the fact that your father and Viserys had agreed that you and Aemond would be together for the sake of both the Velaryon and Targaryen dynasties. That was six months ago, and everything had started to decline since then. Your father had mysteriously vanished, Rhaenyra’s husband Harwin had died, and tensions between the families were at an all-time high. It wasn’t Aemond’s fault per se, he was a great partner, but you knew how this went. In the end, you would be torn between his family and your own. More specifically between your brothers and him. The mere thought of it all happening again sent your stomach into knots. If only there were a way to prevent everything, prevent time from repeating itself. Maybe then you could save your brother-

" Hellooo, are you there? Hey-" Your thoughts vanished as Jace came into view. Were you having a nightmare again? No, surely not in the middle of the day, not while the boys were here.

The realization of your whereabouts sat you upright, forcing your eyes to the couch where you had last left the youngest boys, who still sat there much to your relief,"-Shit, sorry! Did I space off again?"

"You looked like you were asleep with your eyes open, to be honest," Jace snorted, his hair was wet and a gym bag hung from his shoulder, " Rough night?"

His question was answered with a groan as you laid your cheek against the cool countertop, "I’ll take that as a yes?"

"Every night is a rough night when you have nightmares like mine" You mumble between the space in your arms, “Do you ever have weird dreams, Jace?”

Jace sat beside you, mirroring the position you had slumped into. You turned your face towards him as he spoke, "I had a dream once where I was in archery club...but I was naked, like bare as can be-"

"-You can not be serious"

"Oh but I am, and my grandfather's creepy friend Otto was the teacher. It was definitely weird, but I didn't lose sleep over it" Jace shrugged.

" Why are you guys talking like that?" Both you and Jace lift your heads to face Luke. The curly-haired boy stood on the other side of the kitchen island with his eyebrows raised.

You shrugged, “Why are you not talking like this?”

“ Because I’m a normal human being?” He questioned sarcastically, “ anyways, while I have the attention-”

“You always have the attention” Jace scoffs.

You nod in agreement,“ Mhm, it’s because he’s the favorite.”

“ Can I talk or..” Luke stands there staring at the two of you patiently, much like his mother would. Actually, it reminds you of the first time Nyra caught you sneaking the boys into the kitchens during the hour of the owl.

“You must be very quiet. Some say the kitchen maids have special abilities that let them know food has been stolen” You whisper to the boys with a suppressed grin. Each of them held lemon tarts as you securely closed the door.

Luke’s doe eyes widen with fear, “Do you think they’re witches? Will they curse us?”

“ The kitchen maids are not the ones you should be worried about” The three of you whipped around at the sound of your mother’s voice. She stood tall in the firelight, a red robe covering her as she stared down expectantly.

A nervous grin stretched across your features, “ Muna! We were just collecting lemon tarts to bring to you!”

“ You know, your father has this knack for flattering me when he’s trying to cover a lie. It would be a shame for my daughter to try and do the same” She hummed suspiciously.

“ I would never!” You cringed as you realized how identical you sounded to your kepa, “Alright, we were trying to sneak lemon tarts for ourselves, but it won’t happen again! ”

“ If you were still hungry, you should have told me so. Now, Jace, Luke, take the tarts to your chambers and go to bed please.” The boys bid Rhaenyra a good night and took off down the hall swiftly.

Your fingers fiddled with your nightdress nervously, “ I’m sorry, I did not mean to cause trouble.”

“ Oh my heart, you did not cause trouble. It is natural to sneak out at a young age, but you need to be careful here. There are people in this world who seek to hurt your brothers, and you must be their protector.” She cooed, her thumb stroking your cheek.

The fire in your eye returned once more, “ No one will hurt them. Not while I’m by their side.”

“-I’m starting to think she had a medical condition at this point” It was Jace once again who pulled you from the past, but with Luke beside him this time. The two of them both stared at you with confusion. The dry itch in your eyes became apparent as you came back into focus.

“ Maybe she’s just tired from dealing with Aemond all the time-”

You cut off Luke’s jest with a groan, “ Okay, can we not start up the hate train for my boyfriend today? I was just daydreaming, good gods.”

“ No need to start the train up when it was never off in the first place” Jace spoke teasingly. Any rebuttals that were set to come from your mouth were ceased by the constant buzzing from your phone, which laid on the counter for everyone to see.

Luke’s eyes bugged at the sight of Aemond’s contact,“ ñuha zaldrīzes?! You call him your drag-”

“Shut up!” You reached over to slap a hand over his mouth as you answered the phone, “ Aem, hey, what’s going on?”

“What’s going on? Have you looked at the time recently?” looking over to the clock, your face fell. It was twenty past seven, which meant you were twenty minutes late to your dinner with Aemond.

“I thought you would be here as soon as Jace got home, has he not arrived yet?” From beside you, Jace held a thumbs up, as if he was allowing you to use him as an excuse.

“He was a little late getting home and then we got to talking and I just-”

Aemond’s sigh drowned out your words, “-Lost track of time, yeah. It seems like that happens a lot when you’re with them.”

The boy’s watched as you visibly deflated, “Aemond, that’s not fair.”

“ Not fair? You constantly put me second to them. I am- your husband and lover. Sooner or later you will have to choose, either me or them, and I will not tolerate a bastard being put before me. Not in this lifetime or the next.”

“You are being unreasonable, Aemond!”

“ The unreasonable one is you! There is a war afoot and you insist on playing both sides. If you think this will end in a happy ever after..then you’re- mistaken. Are you even listening? Hello?” Time was running out and you could feel it. The last time Aemond had spoken those words, Luke had ended up dead hours later. With fear clouding your judgment you hung up without another word. Which probably didn’t help the situation, but what else could you do? Tell Luke what you thought would happen? No, he was only fifteen, he would be terrified. You couldn’t tell Jace, because as close as the two of you were he would still think you’re crazy. And Aemond, he was absolutely out of the question. Accusing him of something like that would drive the wedge further between the two of you.

“ You must protect them, Tala. You are their big sister, their fate rests with you.” What if I don’t know how?

“There are people in this world who seek to hurt your brothers, and you must be their protector” How can I be their protector when I brought the danger to them? Is it me? Am I the variable that needs to be changed? What if I take Luke’s place?

“ Luke-” Your throat tightened as you looked forward. The spot Luke previously stood in was empty, as was Jace’s spot beside you, “ Luke?!”

Jace reappeared from behind you,“ He went out to ride his bike.”

Confusion and worry clouded your eyes,“ It’s raining, he can’t possibly ride in this weather?!”

Jace shrugged, “I suppose the rain didn’t matter after he heard your conversation with Aemond.”

“Wha-” Fear suffocated your heart like a python. He wouldn’t confront Aemond over a silly argument, would he?

“ Before you ask, no I did not just let him walk out the door to go confront our sociopathic uncle. He isn’t that fast of a peddler, so I’ll just catch up to him in the car” You snatched the keys from Jace’s hand before he could even finish his next thought.

“ Hey-”

“- This is my fault, I’ll fix it” You spoke while making a beeline for the front door, “ I promise I’ll bring the car back in one piece, and Luke too!” You didn’t wait for Jace to reply, there was no need. Nothing he could say would change your mind.

The rain barely touched you, that’s how fast you had made it to the car. You used one hand to whip out onto the street as your other hand pulled up Aemond’s contact. It rang four, five times before going to voicemail. You tried again and again to no avail before it finally went through.

“ Hello? Aemond?” Your voice was as shaky as the car on the slick roads.

“ Are you going to hang up on me again?” His tone was short, meaning he was upset.

“ No, I was just overwhelmed-” The familiar click of a turning signal sounded throughout the car, but you weren’t turning, “ Aemond, please tell me you’re at home.”

“ I’m not. I’m on my way to pick you up” Oh gods. You couldn’t do this, not now. Why was it all happening so fast?

“ I’m not there. I went out to look for Luke. Just go back home and I will meet you there” You pleaded, which was entirely out of character for you.

“I’m not far-”

“-Aemond, please! Just this once, listen to me” You hoped the urgency in your voice would persuade him to listen. Alas, it did not, and part of you knew it wouldn’t.

“The rain is too thick to turn back now. I can barely see anything as it is” Aemond argued, “ I’ll wait at the boy’s house until you get back. I promise I won’t do anything, I won’t even get out of the car.”

Your fear regressed a little. If Aemond was out of the way, then nothing could possibly happen. This could work, or so you thought. Straight ahead, racing through the storm was Lucerys. He was completely drenched from what you could tell and barely pedaling straight. You hit the brakes and jumped out of the car.

“ Luke, get in the car!” The storm roared loudly over your voice, but he still managed to hear you.

Luke shook his head, “ I won’t let him treat you like that, not again.”

“What do you mean not again?” That’s when you noticed, Luke’s eyes were different, older, “You remember, don’t you?”

He nodded slowly, unsurely, “ When Aegon hit my head against the table at dinner last week it all came flooding back. I thought they were dreams at first, but then I noticed how different you acted. How you had changed then to now.”

“ You never said anything”

“I didn’t know that you remembered, I’m sorry” He apologized through chattering teeth.

You smiled softly, “ It doesn’t matter anymore, just come with me. Let me take you back home.”

That’s when Luke’s own smile fell, “ I can’t. I ran away from him the first time, but not this time.”

“ That wasn’t your fault, Luke. I was the one who told you to run, so please, just- take my hand!"

"I won't leave Arrax!" Luke screamed from below you, ignoring the hand that you held down towards him.

"Vhagar is set to kill Arrax. You must take my hand Lucerys, please!" Eyes as green as sea moss flashed through the heavy downpour like lightning. Eyes that held fear that chilled your bones more than the freezing rain. Next came the hand, the hand that held scars from dragon riding yet looked as soft as a handful of clouds. You reached for it amidst the haze, only it never seemed to get any closer.

“Reach further-” and that’s when you saw it, rather than when you saw him. It was Aemond atop Vhagar who appeared in what seemed like a split second. Your heartbeat quickened and you reached for Lucerys once more, except something was blinding you this time- headlights, that’s what was in your way. The beams of light raced down the street with no intention of slowing down. You would be worried about them hitting you if Luke wasn’t in between their path and you. Like before, you weren’t fast enough. Every step you took towards your brother seemed to push him father away.

“Lucerys, Move!” Your screams mingled with his as he turned too late. In what seemed like slow motion you watched as Luke rolled atop the car as it completely mangled his bike. Much to your horror, the driver slammed on their brakes, propelling Luke forward.

“No!” Your feet were moving before your brain could even process what happened, “ No, no, no, please no.”

The pavement cut into your knees as you knelt beside Luke. You pulled his head to rest on your knees, paying no mind to the blood that soaked through your pants. His eyes were open, yet lifeless. The vibrant green that they held before now shone as a dull gray. You leaned down to place your ear on his chest. Nothing. Not a single sound.

“ Lucerys please, you can’t leave me again, “ Your tears mixed with the rain, “ Come back to me, Ñuha prūmia”

“ You did well, Ñuha prūmia. Do not fret” Your sincere words traveled in one ear and out the other for Lucerys. Jace had beaten him at dueling practice yet again.

He scrunched his nose as your endearment, “ Must you call me that? It sounds girly.”

“It is a simple endearment, I mean no harm to your pride. I refer to you as my heart in the same manner that I call Jacaerys my soul” You explain softly, reaching over to ruffle his curls.

“What is Joffrey then?”

“I’m not sure,” You hum in thought, “ Perhaps he is my mind.”

He peers up at you in curiosity, “Which of the three would you say that you can not live without?”

“Mhm, my heart would be the answer. I fear I’d go mad if I ever lost you.” His cherubic smile faded to a bloody gasp. The sight alone smothered out the fire in your heart and set off a drum in your skull.

“ Is he alright? I couldn’t see him through the rain. I swear- oh gods…” Whilst still regaining focus where you sat on Storms End Avenue, you looked up to see none other than Aemond Targaryen speaking to you through the rain. His hair lay limp against his face, almost covering the grim expression he held, which seemed to darken as you came into view. You gently laid Lucerys’s head on the road below before standing on shaky legs.

“ Don’t. Don’t you dare tell me it was an accident, not again” You advanced toward Aemond until the tip of your finger dug into his chest. The patience you once had now worn thin and making way for eons of repressed anger and guilt.

Confusion danced across Aemond’s face, “ Again? What are you talking about-”

“Stop acting like you do not know!” You screamed, shoving him backward, “ I am tired of everyone acting like they know nothing when everything else is happening according to the past!”

“We can talk this out, just calm down” Aemond almost sounded like he was pleading as he reached out for you, but in truth, Aemond never pleaded to anyone. Not even the woman he claimed to love.

"Calm down?! I am to watch my brothers be murdered AGAIN and you want me to CALM DOWN?! You are wrong if you think I will sit by an.. and.. a-", the longer you stood, the worse your vision got. At this point, the pounding in your head had gotten so loud that your vision swayed. Through the dark spots blotting your eyes, you could see silhouettes of dragons dancing in the clouds and the water surrounding you turning red. Everything began to feel weightless, except your head of course.

“ Woah, hey” Aemond was there to catch you as you crumbled, “ Keep your eyes open for me, okay? I’m going to call for help, but I need you to stay awake.”

You tried to stay awake, you really did, but it was all too much. The weight of it all dragged you into the darkness without a fight. It was hours before you awoke, and when you did it was in a hospital bed. A warm weight against your leg is the first thing your brain registers. Well, that and the blinding white hue of the hospital walls.

"Luke.." your throat was dry and scratchy, almost as if you had been screaming for days. Your eyes surveyed the room wearily until they landed on Jace. He must have been the warmth you were feeling. His arms lay atop the bed next to you, crossed snuggly beneath his head. You could tell the skin around his eyes was puffy and red despite them being closed. He had been crying, but over what? Was it Luke? Had last night not been just another nightmare of the past? You reached out, brushing against Jacaerys arm lightly, but still firm enough to rouse him from his sleep.

His eyes fluttered for a moment before fully snapping open, "You're awake!"

" I don't remember falling asleep.." you spoke in true confusion.

Jace's eyes seemed to soften, whether or not it was in pity or sadness you did not know," You didn't fall asleep, you collapsed. Aemond brought you in-"

" and Luke? " A part of you couldn't help but be hopeful. If you couldn't remember passing out, then perhaps Luke's death was a hallucination of your foggy memory as well. Even if the look in Jace's eyes already told you differently.

" They said he was dead upon impact. Aemond killed him." your heartbeat picked up on the monitor as Jace spoke, "I know it's not what you want you to hear, and that you love Aemond, but it's true."

"Aemond claims that he didn't see him in time. That the rain made the roads too slick and that he lost control of the car, but he’s lying" Jace seethed, paying no mind to your reaction.

"Jace-"

His eyes held fire and the smallest hint of disbelief as they flickered back to you, "Please don't defend him. Whatever you're going to say, just don't. My mother has already retaliated and I've opened a lawsuit against Aemond. There's nothing else you can say."

" You don't know that unless you let me speak" You waited for a beat of silence before continuing, "I was not going to defend Aemond. On the contrary, I was going to tell you that it wasn't an accident. It's just like before."

Jace s eyes widened, " Like before? Has Aemond killed someone else?"

You shake your head quickly, "No, not this lifetime. You misunderstand, I'm talking about when he killed Lucerys the first time."

" I'm not sure what you're talking about. None of this has ever happened before-"

The patience you once had before Lucerys's death is now long gone, "-Yes it has! You just have to remember, like Luke did. I need you to remember Jace, please, before the same happens to you."

Jace leans forward to encase both of your shaking hands," If it's the lawsuit that troubles you, then you need not worry. Nothing is going to happen to me. I've taken many precautions. Otto Hightower has agreed to meet us halfway to our beach house in Dragonstone to receive the papers. He's bringing Criston Cole as a witness and I'm bringing Corlys. Everything will run smoothly."

Halfway to Dragonstone, the gullet. You sucked in a trembling breath as images of Jacaerys' arrow-riddled body flashed before your eyes. He was close to his death and yet he didn't remember, not like Lucerys did. You were the only one left with the knowledge of what was to come… Or So you thought.

#hotd #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen angst #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #lucerys velaryon #lucerys x reader #velaryon reader #aemond targaryen x velaryon!reader #Jacaerys Velaryon x Velaryon!reader #Lucerys Velaryon x velaryon!reader #hotd angst #angst

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