#and not only he doesn't seems interested

[humbuns]

birds of the same feather?

#obey me! #obey me lucifer #obey me luke #perhaps i'm putting a lot of thought onto luke but i was thinking about how conflicting luke must have felt knowing the image portrayed of #lucifer based on the celestial realm to the actual lucifer he meets #i do think it's interesting how softer he is in nightbringer so while he might seem imposing it's just not on the same lvl to what he expec #'he is your kindred but you are suppose to hate him for what he became since it's in your nature' type of deal #anyways weirdest uncle award goes to lucifer #← the only thought running in his head atm is that luke reminds him of his brothers but he doesn't want to admit it (too personal) #anyways this won't make sense w/o these tags so sorry lmao #doodles

[interlagostrack]

x

#I'm fucked #completely fucked #I might have a crush #and not only he doesn't seems interested #even if he was it would be pointless #also i don't think we would be 'allowed' to act on it anyway #pls @god kill me now #life is so much better when i don't care about anyone #ly liveblogs her life

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.

#B'Elanna's difficulty with Klingon myths and religion (especially due to her internalized racism) #Chakotay's current strong belief in his own spirituality despite his initial complete rejection of it (and how B'Elanna seems to admire #and have talked with Chakotay about it extensively in the past given how many specifics she's aware of) #Neelix's belief in an afterlife being the only thing that comforted him after his entire family was killed - the knowledge that he would be #able to reunite with them again and that knowledge being ripped away from him #Does he still believe? Are there other aspects of his previous spiritual beliefs that are thrown into question? #Just because it isn't 'real' does it make it unimportant? How do we even know whether or not it's 'real'? #He died and doesn't remember reaching that tree and seeing his family - does that mean it didn't happen? #Tuvok's line in 'Innocence' about how he's begun to have doubts about whether or not a katra exists and what happens after someone dies #and his firm ties to Vulcan spirituality and ritual #ALL SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!! #star trek voyager #I don't think it'd be a calm or healthy conversation either - they're not therapists and I don't think anyone but Chakotay #would be particularly careful with his words #and before you say Tuvok's a Vulcan so he would be let me remind you that Tuvok told B'Elanna to her face that he thought Klingons #were basically savages - he is INDELICATE to say the least #Neelix is careful with his words bc he's a people pleaser for survival but also he has a tendency to bother people and be overly pushy #and I think he'd do a lot of research and be the one leading the conversation/the reason they get on the topic and continue on it #B'Elanna wouldn't want to talk about it. She wants to talk about it the least. But she must!!!! Bc the episode demands it!! #st voy

[the-badger-mole]

I feel like I don't harp on Aang's lack of leadership skills enough. I can already hear people cracking their knuckles to type out some long diatribe about how it's unfair to judge Aang's leadership because he's a kid. Let me stop you right there. As with his lack of respect for consent and his lack of preparation to deal with Ozai, his age is irrelevant because the framing of Aang would have us believe that he's right. The show wants us, the audience, to see Aang as clever and wise beyond his years. To say I can't be too hard on Aang because he's a child flies directly in the face of what the writers intended. So, step away from the keyboard and let me finish, alright?

Bet.

When I think of Aang as a leader, the episode that comes to mind is The Great Divide. Someone recently brought this up to me as an example of Aang being a Trickster type. I disagree. I think Aang is more of an Innocent than a Trickster, but I get how someone might see him as either *. It doesn't make him a great leader, in any case. In fact, it supports my theory that he's a bad leader. His actions in TGD show that he is far more interested in taking the easy way out than in any real sort of conflict resolution, which in a world looking for guidance post war is...not a great attitude to have. This is the most egregious example of his lack of conflict resolution skills, but it's not the only example of this. He also looks for the easy fix when Katara and Toph are fighting (although, this is interestingly actually framed as a misstep for him. A box of Mars bars to Bryke for that, I guess). It would be fine if this was acknowledged as a short-coming in him, but the way TGD ends, it's supposed to make Aang look clever. (P.S. there's NO way those groups didn't go right back to fighting, because that's not how conflict works).

Bryke could have left that alone and just have more examples of Aang being a good leader in the rest of the series or in the comics, but seeing as they don't seem to understand why Aang isn't the wonderful person they frame him to be, I get why there's not a whole lot of growth in him. Speaking of the comics, remember that time that Aang jumped on board with anti-miscegenation without considering the consequences? Remember how the only reason he changed his mind is because he would be personally affected by it? Yeah...

So, in the comics, Aang meets a group of wanna be Acolytes who studied Air Nomad customs and wanted to actually live them out. They shaved their heads and painted on some tattoos, and Aang was all about it...until he realized that it wasn't paint, they had actually gotten the tattoos, and at that point, he feels insulted. Mind you, he wasn't insulted about his culture being used as cosplay. He was mad that they misunderstood the significance of the tattoos and in their misguided attempts they did something they weren't supposed to. I'm not saying he was wrong to be upset, per se, I'm just saying that cultural appropriation is probably something that the creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender are out of their depths on. Well, this incident sours him on the idea of mixing cultures and in his anger, he jumps right to anti-miscegenation.

Let me repeat that. Avatar Aang, who is supposed to represent all peoples, got angry at some well-intentioned, but severely misguided girls, and decided that the solution would be to support policies that would literally tear apart families. Then he only walked that back because he wouldn't be able to keep Katara. It wasn't him realizing how much damage he would do to other people. It wasn't him understanding that the issue he's trying to solve requires more delicate handling than simply saying "everyone go back to where you came from". It was his selfishness that saved the day (sort of? I think annexing a part of the Earth Kingdom to make pseudo-New York was...questionable at best).

These are the two biggest, if not only examples of the type of leader Aang is. In both cases, his solution had more to do with him, his personal convenience, his feelings, than any thought of how best serve the people looking to him to lead. They are not presented as issues with his leadership, highlighting the ways he needs to grow into his role. The solutions he comes up with are presented as examples of his cleverness and wisdom, but actually, they just show how he leads based on what's best for him. The people of Planet Avatar ** are subject to Aang's whims and how much work he feels like putting in on a given day. But the people he's leading are supposed to think he's a Big Dang Hero. In a better written story, this would be the beginning of a villain arc.

*(btw, it is still The Year of Content ™️©️®️, so probably expect another post in the future about why I think Aang is more in line with the Innocent than the Trickster. Maybe. We'll see...)

** (is there a name for that world in the fandom? Can we come up with one? Planet Avatar is incredibly lame.)

#atla #anti aang #avatar aang is bad at his job #and the narrative doesn't seem interested actually improving him #they just want us to accept that he's a good leader #without any evidence of his leadership skills #for anyone who thinks i ONLY hate aang because of zutara #nuh-uh!!! #i also hate him for being a a boring poorly written character who the writers tried to trick me into believing was tH3 r3@L h3R0000 🙄 #as if #THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!

[kyouka-supremacy]

I HATE how overlooked Kouyou is like she really deserves a novel before anyone else

#Like OF COURSE OF COURSE AUTHOR WOULD NEVER DEDICATE A NOVEL TO A WOMAN I KNOW I KNOW chewing wood #But she's such an interesting character I want to know more about her so much... And I want to learn more about her relationship with Mori! #How did they meet?? How did she become the only person that doesn't look the slightest intimidated by him?? #How did she become the only person he seems to trust?? #Knowing more about her relationship with Chuuya would be a bonus too... #kōyō ozaki #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #q. #02/11/22

[ctl-yuejie]

I very much understand why Nick is always so receptive to Boston cajoling him with sex.

They are super compatible in bed and Boston particularly is a very passionate and attentive lover. Compare him fucking Top and Gap to his sex with Nick: I would say that the sex he has with Nick is intimate to say the least.

And Nick craves to be loved by Boston, even if he's understood that he can never get it, what he IS getting is true affection so it's no wonder to me why he "gives in" every time.

#only friends #only friends the series #bostonxnick #bostonnick #I would love to post sth besides bostonnick but I love their dynamic - I feel there's a lot out there about the others but bostonnick posts #are often channelled hatred towards Boston + poor baby Nick (which fair) but their whole thing is so tasty #loved the whole onion peeling of his dad being big in the message parlor business transitioning into politics to the layer where he can go #nd leave anytime to NY #his dad doesn't seem to care that much that Boston won't do his business degree nevertheless Boston IS still there #that is so interesting to me #photography is his passion so going to NY immediately would make sense and even lessen the potential of blackmail affecting his dad #but for now he is staying! and I want to know why #high-fives the people who write meta on the ephemeral aspect of ofts #also one of the days I had to get up at 5 to make it to court so I can only spare so many braincells for posting

[miraculouslumination]

I might go further into detail on this and I haven't really looked much in the tag to see if anyone else has offered this idea, but, like

Here's one of my biggest theories regarding the shenanigans in Welcome Home, summarized in one sentence:

Wally is sick.

#Jean mumbles #Welcome Home #The way he acts in those hidden bug videos. #The way he seems so unresponsive and out of it when people are talking around him. #He doesn't make jokes like he used to it seems. He isn't ACTING like he used to. #The only one we've really seen acknowledge this is Barnaby in that video where Barnaby talks with Home #Frank and Julie just seemed... uncomfortable when Wally appeared during that musical snippet #Also!! That black GUNK that festers inside/under Home?? and how it seems to be the same stuff that attached itself to all those journals? #I think that's what's making Wally act the way he has #Because like. In the hidden audio clips. He seems...so frustrated and confused. But not outright aggressive #But then there's that one audio clip #The ''LET ME IN'' one #But...I don't know if that's Wally Darling being himself #I wonder if that's the illness - the gunk - taking over and using him. as a PUPPET. to spread its sickness further #I don't know #But I do find it an interesting thought #I'll probably slap this all in an actual post someday #Maybe #I can't wait to see what more may come of this down the road

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from the sangyao dungeons - [???/π] incorrect but plausibly canon quotes edition

#sangyao #what could have been 🥺 #like if you're gonna insist on making jgy a villain at least let him have the only other villainous babygirl in the cast #as his partner in crime #(I guess xy also qualifies as a babygirl but he also doesn't seem like the kind of babygirl villain who wants to be micro-managed) #(nhs would absolutely let jgy think he's micromanaging their plans #when in reality he is just leaving the work he isn't interested in to jgy) #(plot twist: jgy has tricked nhs into doing work that he doesn't THINK he wants to do #by making it about art or whatever nhs's special interest du jour is) #(anyway I just think they're neat and should be allowed to fuck about it) #mdzs #mdzs shitposting #cql #the untamed #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #let him have birds!! 🕊

[childrenofthesun77]

I wonder if the count is going to be jealous of mahiru if he returns in one way or another.

Mahiru achieved all the the count so desperately wanted. He became kuro's eve. He became friends with him. They understand and trust each other pretty much completely at this point. And all without mahiru having to sacrifice anyone like the count wants to do. Before the count came up with the plan to become one with kuro he simply wanted to be his eve. But kuro didn't want that so the count eventually arrived at more desperate measures. I guess if they talk mahiru will have much to teach/explain to him about relationships and death.

#servamp #mahiru shirota #servamp kuro #if the count somehow ends up in mahiru's body things could get interesting #because nobody got what they wanted #mahiru doesn't want to be the counts vessel #kuro wants his eve/partner to be mahiru not the count #the count wanted to be one with kuro believing that way they could finally understand each other #tsubaki wanted kuro to become one with sensei so his sister could be happy... whatever that means #and mikuni and lily... #honestly I'm still not sure why they want what they seem to want #but their plan to make mikuni the counts eve sounds weird to me anyway #why the hell would the count want to make a contract with mikuni #I don't get it yet #mikuni only gets power if the counts forms a contract with him #If the count ends up in kuro's body kuro's contract with mahiru might make mahiru his eve #if the count ends up in mahiru's body we don't know if the result will truly be a servamp you can make a contract with #and even if it does why would the count want to make a contract #We don't know much about him but I doubt he would want to be a servant who simply obeys mikuni's wishes #he wants to defeat death and for some reason get close to kuro #mikuni can offer him nothing in that regard as far as we are aware

[winepresswrath]

I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE

I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).

but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.

Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.

And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:

Heaven has Institutional Problems

Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.

Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.

We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.

Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.

#good omens spoilers #good omens season two spoilers #idk it makes me sad that i didn't like the humans very much this season because i think ideally they're central to this whole how to be #a person question i also hope we get to see more of hell next season because i do think they're stuck in basically the same place #with a different aesthetic! and the stick being #thrown into a torture pit instead of thrown into hell #or like. mindwiped and locked in an office for all eternity #gabriel broke my heart which is embarrassing but when he goes from not even understanding what music is to experiencing #the simple pleasure of sharing a song with someone for the very first time and almost immediately hits repeat for eternity... baby. baby bo #i would also like more crowley! this was very much the season of aziraphale #which is fine but i missed him yelling questions at god and the bits where it seemed he really wanted aziraphale's opinion instead of just #wanting aziraphale to develop better opinions #next season had better be crowley wrestles with the universe i am telling you!!! #remember three months ago when i was like eh... another good omens season #i bet it'll be cute but i'm content with my book #i don't go here i said strapping on my clown shoes #seriously though i do think crowley is scared to admit to wanting to be good both because god rejected him and he doesn't want #to be a sucker for her (he is only interested in being a sucker for aziraphale) #and like. chase after something he's barred from and has already been told isn't for him. #and that's why it's so hard for him to admit even to himself that he too would be unhappy ditching earth #in ways that parallel aziraphale's unwillingness to let go of heaven as a source of moral authority and goodness #but the way aziraphale goes oh no! i cannot trust my own judgement and desires. They are suspect! #my judgement is that crowley is good and also funny and sexy. my desires are for his company and also his body #therefore the source of these desires is also maybe bad. i mean he's a demon. he's got to be bad #right??? but no. but i saw him do a good thing. but maybe i didn't? I should probably take a stance on this. #and he makes this crowley's problem until the apocalypse but then the second he gets the chance to cram crowley and his feelings for him #back in a heaven approved box he jumps at it in a way that requires just being WILDLY insensitive and dismissive of crowley's feelings #he's not just being a dick about their relationship he is being a dick about crowley as a person. and he should know better but is choosing #not to because he wants the easy out so badly. anyway i love him he was my favourite character all season no notes #good omens

[lover-of-mine]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday!

I was tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @wikiangela @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @captain-hen thank you!!!

Okay so, I'm trying to finish my Eddie Begins missing scene fic this week since the ep is on the list this week for the rewatch but unfortunately, like everything I tried to write ever, this seems to have escaped my control. Have a bit of it tho. prev snippet here.

Eddie is not alone for long though, Buck is walking in soon after, fisting the ends of the sleeves of his LAFD hoodie, hair looking like he's been running his hands through it, eyes a bit wild as he takes in the IV and monitor Eddie is hooked up to. "Are you still out of it?" Buck asks, voice hoarse as he steps closer to the bed.  "I don't think so," Eddie says, words scratching his throat and he watches as Buck's shoulders relax as he drops into the chair next to him.  "That was too close, man."  "I know," Eddie says, turning his head on the pillow so he can look at Buck more comfortably. "How you feeling?" Buck asks, placing his hand on top of Eddie's, rubbing his thumb over it in a way that makes Eddie wonder if he even realizes he's doing it.  "Cold," he says and Buck chuckles a bit breathlessly. "That does tend to be a side effect of hypothermia," he says, the small smile on his lips making his whole face soften into an expression Eddie can only describe as fond. It weirdly makes him want to keep looking at him. 

imma tag @alyxmastershipper @bucks118 @housewifebuck if yhey feel like sharing <3

#writing #911 wip #buddie wip #tease tidbit tuesday #the trauma fic verse #this challenging me in a interesting way #cuz im pushing my personal beliefs on how canon could be played with to make them seem like they have been going on for longer #because the trauma fic is something that i tried to keep as close to canon as possible #and i love writing this particular Eddie and really project my beliefs onto him #and since i already established in the trauma fic that the well is the moment where Eddie realizes something he doesn't want to name #i need to put this in here #but im also trying to add Bucks particular brand of worry through eddies eyes which is hard #and the line between i know im in love with you and what is this thing that I'm feeling is very thin #very fun tho #i am also pushing the way Eddie wont let go of Bucks hand here oskaoskasoaks #Buck tries to let go and Eddie goes nope and i think that's neat #also im the only person he gives a fuck about this fic but here the trauma fic is my baby #so ill keep writing around it ;)

[raziraphale]

I'm not calling the game "unproblematic" bc it's not but I've been continuously surprised by the lack of the same bullshit I hate in later persona games while I play through P2:IS. Why is this game from 1999 more normal about women and gay people

#like if i were recommending persona games to someone there are things I'd give friendly warnings about #like hey i really like this game but warning for homophobia in this part sort of thing #but for P2 it's like uh. warning for some references to WWII that can be seen as unserious #but i think you get to fight hitler so like at least it's clear on that #like it doesn't even have the 'token friend who is weird about women' thing #closest is eikichi but he's more just comically overconfident in himself rather than weird TO women #and the only homophobia seems to come from literal demons and not your friends ? #and is pretty upfront about the fact that jun is interested in tatsuya even if you don't choose him in the Taurus temple #it's treated the same as lisa or maya instead of hidden away #like it's not perfect but it's embarrassing how later persona games fumble where it does pretty okay y'know? #reilly.txt #persona #persona 2

[somethingsad]

Aqukana are so sweet nothing coded and HSJFKFKIFJF IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

Ok so Kana loves Aqua as he is and really does not want anything in return from Aqua, she doesn't put him in a pedestal or idolizes him intensely. To her he's an idiot and an idiot that she has a crush on. She banters w him, calls him a gloomy narcissist, and asks him to tell her jokes. To Aqua, Kana is that window to normalcy that he has, he's just a teenager w her and he doesn't have to act or walk in eggshells w her. He shines a light on her darkest moments and she is his light. They can be who they are with each other, Kana doesn't have to hold her tongue, Aqua doesn't have to act around her. In fact when Aqua is asked by Kana if he hates her he answers "It's actually the opposite.." like sir who are you fooling🤨🤨

Edit:

Adding smth to this, Kana comes home to Aqua's sweet nothings. Aka Aqua would never demand perfection from Kana. Kana doesn't have to pressure herself to reach Aqua's expectations, she's perfect as she is.

#aqkn #aqukana #aquakana #onk #Spotify #i want to talk abt these two and I WILL #i can see why Aqua is so protective of Kana when she represents that one good thing that happened him and he doesn't want to lose that #well not “one” but Kana seems to be the only girl in the series that's not putting Aqua into some sort of pedestal #she wants her crush to notice her perfectly teen behavior #but she also sees her as just more than a romantic interest #she sees him as a precious friend #he's probably the first friend she's got in years of the industry #not only in one of the panels in the latest arc Kana is seen in Elementary school holding a script alone and not playing w the other kids #so it's safe to assume he's her first friend in a long time #and after losing him once I don't think she'll risk losing the friendship she got back WHICH IS SODJBDJDNDJD #GIVE ME THE FRIENDS TO LOVERS AKA #GIVE ME THE BANTER #THE TENSION #GIVE IT #oshi no ko #oshi no ko manga #oshi no ko manga spoilers

[sysig]

A bit more Defeated, and thinking about this post (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #Dexter Favin #But actually starting with chibi Maxes because cutes!! He's the cutest!! #I was looking through some old doodles of my own and my chibi style from 2019 was so flippin' cute ugh #That Zedaph in cold weather clothing? Honestly still a fave of mine Zed is So soft in all my doodles of him lol #Figured it'd be nice to float some cute loves Max's way :) And I was right! Though I am out of practice lol #Was still fun to do tho haha #And then since I'd reread Defeated poor ZEX got a chibi as well! I'm sure he appreciates it poor lad haha ouq #Didn't even use my white ink to put a shine in his eye for that one haha :'D #And then a bit more with Dex </3 I had these ideas on the first reading (or so - in the same time period anyhow) but only got to them later #Dex speaks so.....patronizingly about ''Max's'' attachment to Caleb :) It's interesting to me :) #For a lot of it he's very understanding and gentle with him but it really seems like Caleb is something of a sore spot for him huh #Still ♪ I wonder if he'd consciously acknowledge it - and what his reaction would be at himself if he did hmm #He's no help to Max if he's caught in his own feelings! That doesn't make them not meaningful or important tho #And then to a bit of silliness ♪ No subtlety with the guard dog comparisons pffft #I will not apologize - if ZEX gets to play with a collar and leash with the Captain then let Max have just a little! As a treat! #Besides we all know the Real Dynamics here lol #Max and Dex do stupid couple's costumes for Halloween - who doesn't love a callback lol - and Dex is Not Amused lol #Hey I mean if the shoe fits! #And then the last one is just silly lol I may be misinterpreting the intended message but I couldn't not give it to them lol #And also Max in a ponytail for funsies :D Cute lad ♥

[knight-engale]

"you're not traumatized by being raised by parents who were way too young and were raised in shitty families themselves and who never taught you emotional intelligence and isolated you from pretty much all of your non churchgoing peers, you're just a little silly! and you cry whenever you notice any sort of shift in the way someone speaks to you and take it as a personal rejection, whether or not it was intentional, but that's unrelated"

#i know i have it good because my family was never struggling as much as my moms family seemed to #and because my parents were more affectionate and emotionally available than my dads family and parents #but being the oldest child of four and generally the 'good quiet one' with typically decent grades #meant less attention was given to me as opposed to say #the disabled second child or the family baby (at the time) #i genuinely dont remember getting a ton of one on one time with my parents unless i was in trouble #and while i know it did happen #children dont tend to internalize the positive encounters #and it only got worse as i got older and my interests drifted further away from what my parents liked or wanted to hear about #and then they had another kid but not before mom was hospitalized for a month #and dad was working so he wasn't very available so rven thougj i wasnt supposed to play parent #i kinda tried to. i was 14 #and it felt a little like no one was looking out for me #and it still doesn't #i still feel like an outsider and fundamentally unlovable unless im serving some kind of purpose #because if even my own parents dont pay me much mind when im not actively being helpful #why would anyone else?

[skydigiblogs]

oh my god i just got to the pinnochimon's dangerous game episode (43)

oh my god you all were not kidding about that puppet packing heat

#sky talks #digimon #digimon adventure #the amount of out of context screenshots i just sent to our brother #i know it's serious in-text but i couldn't stop laughing jknfdsjkbfsdfs #like god damn how the hell did the dub manage to get around that at ALL?? #i also know the stylistic contrast of Cute Cartoony Characters vs that's just a real ass gun is like #an artistic choice that the creators probably made #because again the text of the episode pretty explicitly shows that pinochimon doesn't really care about the consequences of shooting people #i doubt it's naivete so much as a lack of comprehension for the lives of others being more than “toys” to him #especially seeing his insecurities when tk calls him out on not having a single friend #and then when he “makes” a friend it's explicitly a doll shaped after him #because he's the only person he could see himself being a friend to #i always have such mixed feelings about the dark master's arc for reasons that this rewatch might actually remedy #but pinochimon's arc was always interesting in that it's one of few arcs in the original series that isn't super subtle about paralleling #one of the digidestined's current crises #like sub or dub it's super obvious that pinochimon is an inverse of yamato's crest of friendship #and by extension yamato himself #insecurity and a lack of trust in other people is what drives them both to suffer #yamato because he can't seem to imagine others in the group caring for his brother as much as he can #(which is a long-term issue but ramps up again in the dark master's arc unsurprisingly) #pinochimon because he can't trust any other digimon to be his equals #if anything pinochimon #along with all the dark masters #are like coworkers not friends #anyways #it's still extremely fucking jarring seeing that puppet boy packing heat