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#and the lesbians in general frankly
imsiriuslyreading · 5 months
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helloooo i feel like your like THE person to go to for fic recommendations and i was wondering if you have any dorlene fic recs? anyways have a fabulous day and i also love love love your tiktok lives
hiya!
omg stop that's so nice?? I don't know if i deserve such an honour but you're VERY KIND.
dorlene are everything to me, i adore them so much. I HAVE NOT READ ENOUGH OF THEIR STORIES but anyone who knows me knows I keep a spreadsheet of everything I've read and everything i want to read.
(a certain 'friend' of mine made fun of me for this so i hope they see this and know how USEFUL MY DORKINESS ACTUALLY IS). ahem.
anyway, i've hit the archives of my google sheet for you and I've found these that are all on my hitlist:
hornylovesickmess by TheLovelyZee
honey honey by aeoneskova
the very first night by librideluna
state of grace by goldrushtv
hey dorcas by moonymoment
no strings attached by allthedeadgays
the hand that feeds by rollercoasterwords
I will keep on the lookout for anymore i find and post them here the minute i come across them. if you have any to rec then please send them my way!
have the loveliest day <3
xo
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vickyvicarious · 1 year
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“She told me that she loved no one,” said Valentine; “that she disliked the idea of being married; that she would infinitely prefer leading an independent and unfettered life; and that she almost wished her father might lose his fortune, that she might become an artist, like her friend, Mademoiselle Louise d’Armilly.”
Not to say that any woman in classic lit who wants to be independent is automatically gay, but Eugenie's reaction to Haidee at the opera already had me thinking it and now I'm sold.
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fruitflavoredchapstick · 11 months
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Just saw some of the nastiest and most lesbophobic tags in the lesbian tag happy pride month!!!!
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tiredrobin · 2 years
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living with the knowledge that i would be a pretty alright butch if i identified at all with womanhood or lesbianism. sad day for everyone everywhere. cant have everything though
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nix-that-rad-lass · 2 years
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Gyns, it’s time I come clean about something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for quite a while.
I’ve come to realize that I may have falsely led many of my followers to believe I am something I am not.
That said, I must offer my sincerest apologies if I have led you to believe I am an older sibling. I am, truly, sorry if I misled you. I am, unfortunately, a youngest sibling. I fully recognize my privilege as a youngest child, and would like to apologize to all older siblings.
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gaogaigoatgrrl · 2 months
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i hope that in the wake of predstrogen/predesterone's back-to-back deletion we don't forget about the ongoing building wave of seemingly organic transmisogyny from the userbase leading up to it, some of which may or may not have been the result of terf psyops but all of which certainly wouldn't have been possible without the eager participation of a significant proportion of users, including but probably not limited to:
the entire concept of transandrophobia (if this offends you, think long and hard about why you want so badly for it to be real)
the ongoing backlash against the terms tme and tma (if they offend you, think long and hard about why they might have practical value to trans women and people with similar social positionality)
the ongoing trend of trans women's blogs getting flagged on the flimsiest of pretenses and generally receiving far more scrutiny for "adult content" than anyone else's
the seeming unironic revival of "baeddel" as a slur for outspoken trans women, on the basis of a long-dead clique that, ironically enough, self-applied the long-dead (and tbf, etymologically questionable) slur from the middle ages to reclaim it
the entire "trans women should be fucking trans men instead of complaining about transmisogyny" genre of post
the backlash when tgirls finally started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the copypasted anons sent to several trans women (many of whom were lesbians) sexually harassing them and threatening corrective rape for calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the backlash when tgirls called the aforementioned bullshit sexual harassment
the expansion of flexible queer label use (which to be clear, i am generally all for) to include "afab trans women", muddying the waters and making transmisogyny harder to articulate
the backlash when tgirls started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the aita incident in which a trans woman described a cis woman claiming to be a trans woman in a group chat and giving other trans women terrible medical advice based on no actual qualifications or experience, and got a huge backlash for warning them about the aforementioned bullshit despite the stakes of, you know, following terrible medical advice
everything from the sixth point onward happened within the past... week? two weeks? my sense of time is a bit fuzzy. who knows what the rest of this week has in store?
people on this website are so incredibly hostile to trans women even being able to name our own oppression, let alone resist it in any concrete way. and i know it's not just this website. don't you get tired of the crab bucket bullshit? holy fucking shit.
like, i've been lucky, i've overwhelmingly managed to dodge it (probably on account of frankly being a pretty boring and inconsistent poster). this time last year, i was actually bored that i didn't have anons in my inbox to argue with. but i've seen it happen to so many other women now, it's absurd. even if it never hits you personally, you can never shake the awareness that it's happening to so many of the cool girls on here, people you like and whose posts you laugh at and who you look up to. they just kinda seem to drop like flies over time. don't you get tired?
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autolenaphilia · 2 months
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The anti-kink moral crusade rests on a lot of transmisogynistic assumptions.
Of course it’s no surprise, since it rests on ideas from the moralizing arguments about bdsm made by radfems in the 70s. The only change is that they are being massively hypocritical and inconsistent about which kinks are bad now, as I pointed out before. Now it’s only certain kinks, like consensual non-consent and fauxcest, that are bad because they “fetishize abuse”, and not bdsm as whole, despite that being inarguably true about bdsm.
And that’s purely to broaden the appeal of such arguments, so that even self-described “leatherfags” can moralize about fauxcest. The morals and principles are frankly just “It’s okay if gay men call their boyfriends “daddy”, because I find that hot, but if a trans lesbian couples pretend to be sisters it’s evil.”
And you can’t really appropriate the radfem arguments about kink without taking their transmisogyny onboard, since they stem from the same transmisogynist bio-determinist root ideology. Janice Raymond in The Transsexual Empire explained trans women through a lens of pathological sadomasochism. Years before Blanchard’s autogynephilia concept, radfems have seen transfemininity and kink as the same thing.
The image of the trans woman painted by radfems then and now, is of privileged males appropriating the pain and suffering of real wombyn, and playacting this suffering for their own perverted sexual amusement. And that is the same image painted of trans women with incest and cnc kinks in modern callout posts. They just remove the explicitly terfy language to make it less obvious. Instead of making a mockery of misogyny in general, we are instead accused of mocking the experiences of the survivors of sexual abuse.
And that boils down to the same thing. Survivors of sexual assault are often as a group assumed to be afab. This ties into a specific transmisogynist discourse. It’s one that argues that afab children are more often sexually assaulted, and that trans women are not targeted by sexual violence pre-transition, and comes to the conclusion that this proves that trans women are male socialized and privileged. This is the fairly nasty transmisogynist undercurrent here.
And it’s proven when in discussions about the transmisogyny of callout culture, a common cliché line in response is that “clearly some people’s worst oppression is being told they are freaks for shipping incest.” This treats transfems as ultra-privileged and transmisogyny as not real at all.
Of course in reality, transfems are disproportionate targets of sexual violence even in childhood and pre-transition. And many survivors of childhood abuse have these problematic abuse-fetishizing kinks, and use it to deal with their trauma, including many of the kinky transfems being called out.
And even if no one involved in the sexual roleplay and fiction being criticized have trauma, the trauma of other non-involved people is not a good argument for its destruction. It’s a reasonable demand to ask for triggering material to be tagged properly so you can avoid it, it’s unreasonable to demand it shouldn’t exist.
Yet transfems are expected to accede to the latter demand. And I think this is because of what May Peterson calls transfeminized debt. It’s how we trans women in feminist circles are expected to be perfect women and perfect feminists to be acknowledged as women at all, instead of as monsters to be destroyed. Of course because nobody is perfect, this leads to every trans woman eventually being thought of as a monster.
We are treated as having to pay off the debt of male socialization/privilege to get basic human rights. And this in practice means conceding every disagreement with TME people, and agreeing to every demand they make of us. Or else we get the hot allostatic load treatment.
And that’s why kinky transfems are expected to fulfil the ridiculous demand from certain puritanical TME people that “I’m not involved in your kink, but I have trauma relating to it, so you can’t do it.” And are treated as evil monsters for not fulfilling it. It’s clearly transfeminized debt and transmisogyny, we are treated as privileged perverted monsters, inherently exempt from sexual violence. And that is used to justify sexual harassment, in the form of callout posts for our sex lives.
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vivianacht · 14 days
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making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.
disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh
to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.
the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.
i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.
and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.
and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.
gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.
but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.
on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.
i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.
i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?
and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?
the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:
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????????
are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.
and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.
i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.
that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.
before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘
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hotvintagepoll · 2 months
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Propaganda
Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!
Ethel Merman (Anything Goes, Call Me Madam)— Possessed of a bold, brash voice, and an even bolder and brasher presence, Ethel Merman might be more well known for her stage roles, but she made several movies, and was bold and brash in them as well. Also I think if I don't submit her, she's going to come back and haunt me.
This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
Ethel Merman:
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You've gotta love any woman who got typecast as lead-MILF
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Deborah Kerr:
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I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.
Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.
Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.
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Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!
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Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"
She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS
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kittyit · 25 days
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The anti Jojo siwa frankly homophobic social contagion is making me rage out. It's literally just because she's an arrogant (positive) dyke which she has been giving since she was like twelve or whatever. It's fucking stupid. She didn't do anything to you but be a confident lesbian. The general public cannot even begin to imagine what it's like to be a child star constrained by your brand and the only move to be to pivot to a new brand (which probably is still being managed!) she is genuinely really talented. the allegations against her abusive momager (btw who do you think was the primary recipient of that behavior) being used as an excuse to mock her style, her DYKE VOICE, the lesbian sexuality in the new video... it's fucking insane. I don't usually get worked up about pop culture but it's just literally blatantly homophobic. Mnot liking the song or video is not what I'm talking about. Certainly anyone reading this in good faith who's been following the response can ascertain what I do mean
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lcvernat · 2 years
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Doodles | Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Summary: Natasha has a habit of drawing on your hand whenever she’s bored.
Word Count: 692
Content Warnings: fluff, so much fluff, too much fluff actually
A/N: i’ve returned. probably. hopefully. maybe. thought i’d come back with a bang aka a very very short (writing over 1k words rn is frankly impossible i’m sorry) but sickeningly sweet little fic. i got this idea from a cute gif i saw and thought it was cuteee so… enjoy! also happy international lesbian day to my fellow lesbians, we rock.
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Natasha Romanoff was many things. A complex woman of many layers, and very few got to uncover all of them. Even you were still constantly finding out new things about her. A recent quirk that you had discovered was her love for doodling on your hand. She’d only started doing it recently: during meetings when she was bored, on the Quinjet to get rid of the post-mission jitters, and generally anytime you were near her.
A few months ago, the team was sat in a particularly boring mission. So boring, in fact, that you would have much rather been in your room tackling the mountain of paperwork on your desk than sat listening to Steve blabber on about God knows what (you’d stopped listening about halfway through). Someone lightly taking ahold of your hand and the tickling sensation of a pen gliding across your skin was what brought you out of your daydream and into the present.
You looked at your girlfriend, Natasha, to find her occupied with drawing a little heart on your hand. “What are you doing?” You whispered, briefly glancing up at Steve then looking back at Natasha when you were satisfied that he wasn’t looking.
“Doodling,” she said simply, the tip of her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on drawing various little stars, hearts and smiley faces all over your hand. You smiled at her, even though she couldn’t see it, before entering your daydream again, more than content to let your girlfriend busy herself with turning your hand into her own personal canvas.
That was when it had started, and it kept happening more and more frequently to the point that your hand was constantly covered in various little doodles and you had started to carry a pen around with you at all times incase Nat ever needed it. The team had started to take notice of Natasha’s little habit but no one dared question her on it. Steve had tried once, to reprimand her on not listening during a meeting, and she had sent him such a withering stare that you swore you quite literally saw the 6’1 super soldier shrink into himself in fear. She returned to drawing her cute doodles as if she hadn’t nearly just sent Captain America running as Steve awkwardly regained his composure before picking up where he left off in his speech. No one ever mentioned the newly gained habit after that.
Day after day, new drawings would appear on your hand. Old ones would get washed away, only to instantly get replaced by fresh doodles. They started to get more eccentric after time: stick figures of the two of you, funny drawings of various Avengers (she’d drawn a surprisingly good drawing of Clint sleeping once with drool at the side of his mouth. You had to try your hardest to cover that up for the rest of the day), and she’d even started to leave little messages on your hand that ranged from ‘I love you’ to ‘Tony’s hair looks weird today’.
You found it completely adorable, and you cherished the various drawings she done and the little messages she left you. Even though the redhead had already enraptured you, mind body and soul, letting her draw on you was your way of telling her that you were hers and she could do whatever she wanted with you. Natasha could draw on every inch of your skin and you’d let her.
Natasha Romanoff was many things, and you had never painted her as an artist before, but you had quickly learned to never be surprised when she unveiled another part of herself to you. You love her, everything about her, all the little quirks that only you notice because you pay just that much attention to her and all of the quirks about her that you haven’t yet discovered. Everything about her is a masterpiece that you can’t tear your eyes away from, and you find you don’t want to. You want to untangle every part of her, learn everything you can possibly learn about her, because she’s yours. Forever and always.
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tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz
dm me, send me an ask or reply to be added to my taglist!
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fixing-bad-posts · 2 months
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Heya, I really really hope this doesn't come off as particularly rude, but I was wondering, why would bisexual women be considered lesbians sometimes and I think you also brought up transgender men and genderqueer ppl? For bisexual women, I just am kinda confused, they can be in lesbian relationships and lesbian spaces, but just describing them as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction at least from where I've always heard it, so wouldn't it be kinda confusing. And for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn't that just bring their genders closer to feminine and at least from what I've heard from some pple I know, they don't like non binary being seen as more womanly (I've heard it being described as woman-lite before annoying) and instead seen as a more inbetween which it sometimes isn't, because of bigotry and other things since nbs can be both fem or masc or androgynous, but wouldn't non woman lesbians kinda push it to be seen as kinda more fem or that person as more fem? I don't know and frankly I'm just kinda confused. I'm really really sorry that this probably comes off as super rude and I hope you forgive me. I frankly just want to learn a little more and have been reading up but wanted to know what you thought. And I just realized how long this was, so so sorry
hello anon! these days, i usually don’t answer asks like these because i’ve already done so several times, but you seem very well-meaning and confused, so i’ll do my best to help. first of all, please check my faq for resources and links about mspec labels and bi lesbians.
second of all—generally—here is my advice for when you encounter a queer label that confuses you:
1) literally just ignore it until you...
2) meet someone in your life who uses that label, at which point you might (respectfully) ask them what using that label means to them specifically, and why it’s important. i’ve done this in real life. the script is something like,
“it’s really cool to get to talk to someone in real life about this stuff—if i may ask, what does identifying as [insert label] mean to you, personally?”
you might also say,
“i’ve never met someone who identifies with [their label] before. would you mind giving me some pointers on the important things to keep in mind in order to respect your identity/make sure you feel respected by me?”
i’ve also never asked anyone to correct me if i mess up and say something rude, but i’m working on the confidence and charisma to be able to say that, because i owe that to others.
all of that said, i wanted to respond to some of your specific questions, and clarify a couple of things below the cut. to clarify:
1. “describing [bisexual women] as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction”. to be clear i am not the one describing bisexual women as lesbians, in this hypothetical situation. when i post about bi-lesbians, i am posting in support of people who—for whatever reason—chose that label for themselves. what i am not doing: advocating to redefine the classically understood definition of lesbian for the entire populous.
2. “wouldn’t it be kinda confusing”? yes! i understand it can be confusing, and i commend you for expressing your confusion instead of reacting in disgust or anger. there are so many things in the queer community that are confusing, even to me, and you don’t need to feel guilty for asking questions as long as you come from a place of genuine curiosity. being confused isn’t bad, and defining yourself in a way that confuses others is, likewise, no transgression.
3. “for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn’t [identifying as a lesbian] just bring their genders closer to feminine […] wouldn’t non woman lesbians […] be seen as kinda more fem”? the answer is: sort of. it depends entirely on how and why the person using this label came to these words. you wrote, “i’ve heard from some pple i know, they don’t like non binary being seen as more womanly”, and i have definitely also heard that! so, for people who feel that way, they probably wouldn’t want a label that evokes womanhood and/or aligns them with femininity assigned to them. but every person is different—so for some nonbinary people, they absolutely do not want to be seen as “woman-lite”, whereas for other nonbinary people, they might want to be seen closer to femme than masc, while still nonbinary. this goes back to what i said at the beginning: best practice is to ask the people in your life how they want you to respect them.
closing thoughts: i hope this clarified some things, but i understand that the topic may still be confusing—feel free to message me if you want a non-judgmental queer to talk things through with. i promise i’ll take you in good faith <3
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booasaur · 4 months
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Funny to see you not answer my question about homophobia in Gaza. Guess you don't have an answer to how we can support a group of people who would not hesitate to wipe out LGBT people in the name of religion.
There are too many answers to quickly formulate the careful reply I wanted to give and was working on, especially when I haven't felt like writing anything at all.
Frankly, the answers are self-evident and the question is ludicrous and fails to understand anything about this situation, Palestine, and people in general.
You would ask me, a Muslim lesbian, if Muslims deserve to live because of their attitude toward LGBT people?
You think there aren't queer people in Palestine? Who're under far more threat from Israel's bombs and bullets and blockades right now than from anyone else? You think they're aren't varying levels of acceptance and discrimination there, like anywhere? You think children, babies, should die before they've had a chance to even form opinions, let alone change them as adults? You think other places with queerphobia, like Florida or Texas or England, should be carpet bombed? Is it just homophobia we should use as a criterion or is racism also bad, in which case, wherever you live should also be targeted?
How about we just don't kill any group at large, whatever they think or feel or are? How about that? It is ridiculous to use your hypothetical fears of what might happen to justify what is happening right now, the actual wiping out of Gaza.
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spoekelse · 3 months
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“Toxic masculinity is bad for men overall and harms their wellbeing”
“Oh yeah well who is enforcing toxic masculinity? That’s right, their fathers and brothers and friends. FELLOW MEN. checkmate.”
This is a bad argument. This is a a stupid argument. It’s akin to
“Women’s beauty standards are bad, and generally harmful to the wellbeing of women.”
“well who is coming up with the trends? who is judging you if you aren’t starving yourself? that’s right, their mothers and sisters and girlfriends. FELLOW WOMEN. checkmate”
oppression doesn’t work strictly by groups operating in unison to put down other groups. it works as systems that permeates society. my mother, a working woman, was shamed for working and not “being committed to her kids”, which is to say, not becoming a full-time stay-at-home mum. and she was shamed by other women- both women in the workplace who waited until after their kids grew up, and women in mommy groups.
when it comes to diet culture, (in a very VERY simplified sense) men want a paradox- a woman who wolfs down pizza like the boys but is always rail-thin. women want you to eat salad and almonds. men mock you for having a skincare routine and 1,000 makeup products, women mock you if you don’t shave your arms and have at least 8 steps in your skincare routine. both want you to conform to an impossible standard.
because that’s how misogyny works. It’s not team men VS team women, where the men do the acts of misogyny like spells and get the drops. everybody does the misogyny, and the benefits are meagre for most of the people doing it
frankly, we need to let go of the idea that all systems of oppression are about material benefits. who actually benefits from homophobia? what do straight people get out of it?
the closest benefit I can think of is an imperialist framework where homophobia is used to put down non-dominant cultures to justify theft from victims of imperialist violence. but does that mean that homophobia is ok as long as it’s not for any material benefit on the part of the homophobe? of course not!
when we start ranking oppression in this dumbass framework, we end up with dumbass assumptions. “lesbians are less oppressed than gay men” leads to “lesbians benefit from homophobia just as much as straight people do”. “transmascs are less oppressed than transfems” becomes “transmascs benefit from the oppression of transfems”.
you don’t need to benefit from oppression to do oppression. in many cases, doing oppression is actively harmful to you- as in the case of women who put down sex workers or slut-shame, as in the case of men who mock other men for crying, as in the case of binary trans people who delegitimise non-binary people.
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Transfem Stevie who figures it out when she goes to a gay bar with Robin (post s3?) and meets another transwoman and has a Huh, you can do that? moment.
i sort of Went Off on this one lmaoo. bc im incapable of not steddifying everything this is now T4T Steddie 2: This Time They're Lesbians- with trans girl eddie cracking stevie's egg
PLEASE NOTE: this is set in the 80s, so they use kind of outdated terminology for trans people. also there's a d slur used in a positive, self-ID way. overall the vibes are good but the language is questionable. do with that what you will lol
When Robin asks Steve to be her ‘emotional support heterosexual’ (her words) for her first visit to an Indianapolis gay club, Steve prepares himself for a night of ‘hey, have you met my friend Robin’, pointedly not hitting on any girls, and politely declining offers of drinks and dances from guys until he’s buzzed enough to admit he’s curious. And so far, that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Robin’s off dancing with a girl after Steve assured her about ten times that he’d be fine on his own. He’s just debating whether or not his inhibitions are lowered enough to go dancing when his thoughts are interrupted by a voice to his right.
“Steeeeeeeve Harrington.”
Steve turns, already cringing. Anyone who says his name with a tone like that is someone who is not going to be thrilled with seeing him in a gay club. The thing is, Steve has no idea who this person is. Can’t even really tell if they’re a guy or a girl. Their features are fairly masculine, all lean muscles and square chin, but they’ve got long, wild hair and heavy eye makeup. The cropped muscle tank with ‘Massive Dyke’ printed in lurid red muddies the waters even further.
“Oh, hey… uh…” Yeah, Steve’s pulling a complete blank. They look kind of familiar? He’s definitely seen them around. Somewhere. 
They roll their eyes. “Not surprised King Steve doesn’t recognise me. Especially looking like this. What are you doing here?”
Steve sighs a little. “I’m here with a friend. She was nervous to come alone so I’m here for moral support and wingmanning.”
“Yeah, sure,” they scoff, and Steve frowns even more.
“Look, I know I was a dick in high school. And I’m genuinely sorry if I was a dick to you. But that was four years ago. I’ve grown up, and I’m here to be a good friend. Can you let me do that?”
The person blinks, and then looks a little sheepish. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair,” they say, before extending a hand. “And it’s Eddie. Eddie Munson.”
Steve smiles and shakes the offered hand. “Oh, yeah! You ran that club my kids went to- dungeons and dragons, right? Cool to see you again, dude!”
Eddie’s face does a complicated little wiggle before- “Uh, not a dude, man.”
“Wait, what?”
“I’m a girl, now. Still Eddie, though, it’s just short for Edith now. Have you heard of transsexuals?”
Steve shakes his head. “I’m pretty new to this. I know, like. Five words.”
“Well, easiest way to put it is that I was born a guy, but I feel more like a girl, so now I’m, like, switching.”
“Switching…” Steve says, trying his best to look genuinely interested and confused. He generally doesn’t struggle too hard to look confused, but he’s a little worried Eddie will think he’s being a dick about it. “You can do that?”
Eddie snorts, gesturing down to herself. “Clearly.”
“Huh,” Steve says. Frankly, this is blowing his mind. “Why doesn’t everyone do that, then? Like, no one likes being a guy.”
“Ye- wait, what?”
“Like, the sexism of being a girl would suck, obviously. But everything else sounds great! Like, you get prettier clothes and you can wear makeup- and girls are so nice to other girls, I've always been kind of jealous of that.”
Eddie looks shocked, but Steve's on a roll now, almost forgetting she's there as he continues thinking aloud. “And like. Girls’ bodies are just. Better, y'know? Like what do guys have, muscles? Girls can have muscles too, but girls are just so… like, everyone wants boobs, right?”
Eddie has a strange look on her face. “I mean, I do. Because I’m transsexual.”
“When you’re transsexual, do you get boobs? Like, do you- wait, is that rude? I feel like I wouldn’t ask another girl about her boobs.”
Eddie’s silent for a moment, looking at Steve in bewilderment, before she seems to collect herself. She takes a swig of her beer and then smiles at him. It looks both welcoming and like she’s in on a secret, and puts Steve at ease. He can see why the kids were so obsessed with her in high school.
“You know what, ordinarily it would be kind of rude, but I have a feeling this conversation is… not what I thought it was gonna be,” she says, and Steve tilts his head a bit in confusion. “So yeah, I do have boobs. You can take estrogen as a little pill, and it basically does puberty for you again. You get boobs, a little extra fat on your hips and thighs, and your skin gets softer. Here, feel.”
And then Eddie takes Steve’s hand and slides it up her shirt. His brain immediately turns off. And yeah, there’s definitely a gentle swell there. They’re small, but Steve can feel the squish of them. Her nipples are pierced. Steve thinks he might die.
“Wow,” he squeaks, about five embarrassing octaves higher than his normal tone. “Cool!”
Eddie grins as she removes his hand from her tit. “Yeah, cool. I’d let you fondle them a little more, sweetheart, but they’re still growing. Kind of sore.”
Steve blushes, rubbing his hand on his thigh and desperately trying to will his boner down. “Man, I wish I could grow boobs,” he sighs, a little wistfully.
“You can, y’know,” Eddie says, with a little chuckle and a soft smile. “What’s stopping you?”
That. Steve hasn’t considered that. A hundred things come to his lips- he’s not like that, he’s not one of those- a hundred things that he knows are absolutely terrible reasons. If Robin were here she’d either be whacking him upside the head or giving him that really sad look she does whenever he’s mean to himself.
“Hey,” Eddie says, speaking softly and laying a gentle hand on Steve’s knee. It shocks him out of his spiral as he looks up into her big brown eyes. “Y’know, I’ve got some makeup in my van. If you wanted to try some things out. No one here will judge you.”
“I- yeah,” Steve is breathless. “I’d like that. Uh- my friend-”
“Oh, is she real? I’ll be honest, I kinda thought you were doing the ‘oh I’m not gay I’m just here for a friend’ thing.”
Laughing, Steve looks out over the crowd. “No, she’s real. Let me just let her know I’ll be gone for a moment- honestly she’s probably halfway to third base with some girl anyway-”
And sure enough, Robin is more than ready to let Steve wander off once he peels her off a pretty girl on the opposite side of the club. He rejoins Eddie, who leads him down the street towards her van and helps him into the back. She takes out her makeup bag, cracking jokes about their wildly different styles while she delicately brushes powder over his face. She generously refrains from threatening to take his eye out with the eyeliner pencil (more than once at least), and apologises for not having anything more ‘babygirl’ than her bright red lipstick. Steve can definitely say this is the most fun he’s ever had in the back of a van.
Finally, masterpiece done, Eddie rummages in her bag for a little compact, presenting it to Steve with a dumb little bow. Steve takes it with a roll of his eyes, and prepares himself with a deep breath.
The person in the mirror is beautiful. Glowing skin, huge doe eyes lined with smokey eyeliner and lashes a mile long, practically sinful lips. Steve almost doesn’t recognise himself, except that he does. He really, really does, in a way he now realises he never really has before. It’s the first time he’s ever looked at his face in the mirror and not wanted to change anything.
“You’re a really pretty girl, Stevie,” Eddie says with a gentle smile.
Steve can’t look away from the mirror. “Yeah,” she says, a red-lipped grin stretching across her face. “I really am.”
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comradekatara · 2 months
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aang and toph? if we somehow pretend toph isn't a lesbian
okay so this is an interesting ship to me because i do think their dynamic is very underrated, but also pretty much every taang (great ship name btw) shipper i’ve ever encountered has done so with the purpose of coupling every member of the gaang into a neat little sukka/zutara/taang paradigm. this arrangement feels, frankly, very silly to me, and i generally don’t understand the emphasis on romance as a necessity, especially when it pertains to children, but also just in general, for anyone’s life, at any age. there’s also of course no obligation for endogamy within this group of six, as if every friend group must be arranged into neat, fixed couplings. very goofy mindset imo.
it’s also just kind of a reach, because besides being the same age, aang and toph really have no romantic potential in the show. it’s clear that aang sees toph as one of the boys and only has eyes for katara, whereas toph is (as you mentioned) clearly a baby dyke, and if anything, has a crush on sokka (i know this sounds like a contradiction, but it isn’t because sokka is in fact very dykey). i suppose we could assume that as they age, they might develop feelings for each other, but i really highly doubt it considering that toph is constantly demeaning aang’s “femininity” and aang clearly thinks of toph as something of a sibling.
that said, i think their relationship is very unsung just due to the fact that toph’s relationship with sokka is so central to her development and her relationship with katara is so fun and juicy, but aang was toph’s first friend, her first pupil, and the first person to facilitate her liberation from the beifong mansion. sokka may have showed toph how to be vulnerable and lean on others, which is really the central tenet of her arc, but before all that—aang showed toph freedom.
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