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wrongplacerighttime · 5 months

Text

right where you left me

hi!! this one was…..a lot. it’s heartbreaking and angsty and sad…however (!!!) has a happy ending and i had the BEST time writing it. i think i went through 8,000 emotions in the process.

tw: smut!!!, mentions of alcohol use, sad harry, sad fmc, post-break up, mentions death of parent(s), the very taboo subject of cheating (please if this is not something you're comfortable with don't read this. i write for me and others who like these things, however I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable, but i enjoyed writing this and I hope others do too!!), (as always lemme know if i missed any)

wc: ………..13k.......IM SORRY. I thought about splitting it up into two or three parts but couldn't find a good place to split it up. so instead you just get one loonnnngggg fic lmaooo

this is my first time attempting to write something from third person POV. please let me know what you think and if you read this entire self indulgent story then i love youuuu so much. 🩷

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · 𖥸· ─────── · ·

BRYAR

The silence of the apartment rings through Bryar’s ears. She wipes the tears staining her cheeks and stands from the bed, padding through the hallway to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, squinting as she does, her gaze travels to meet her own eyes in the mirror. Her eyes are sensitive from laying in the dark, and the crying she's been doing for the past four days doesn't help her appearance either. Sighing, her breath feeling heavy in her lungs, she tosses around the idea of finally taking a shower while staring at her disheveled hair.

The memory of checking the time is already gone from her mind but she remembers that it’s late. She looks at herself in the mirror for a moment longer. Eyes trailing from the circles under them up to her messy hair on top of her head. Part of her mind is contemplating whether or not she should’ve left the only man she’s ever loved. The other part of her mind knows she needed to because he never changed, nothing ever changed like he promised it would. However, she knew she would never love anyone that intensely ever again. Her eyes meet her own once more, and she lets her mind wander to the moment it all came to its tumultuous end

—

Bryar is standing in the middle of Harry’s apartment, her bag packed and hanging from her shoulder. She was dressed in the same outfit she waited all night for him in, the one she had carefully planned out for this day, the day he promised that he would be entirely hers, no interruptions. It was her birthday, after all. They were supposed to go to dinner. She waited all day for him at his place. He never showed. Never texted. Never called. She knew it would happen. It happened a lot recently. Things used to be so different. It never used to be this way. She never had to beg him for his attention before.

She knew he’d be coming home any second. It was late… a few minutes after midnight, the usual time he would come home from the bar he went to with his friends. The reservation they had at a restaurant in town was long forgotten. She called to cancel it after he didn’t come home. She didn’t move from her spot in front of the door. Not even when she heard the keys jingling in the lock. He swung the door open, his phone to his ear and laughing loudly at whoever he was speaking to on the other end. He was looking towards the floor, but when he noticed her there, with the bag hanging from her shoulder and the animosity behind her eyes, he stopped talking. Stopped everything. He didn’t even say goodbye to his friend, just hung up and put his phone away into his pocket.

“Bry, what are you doing?” He asked, confused. She scoffs, shaking her head and looking away from him into the apartment she knew she would be seeing for the last time.

“You forgot. Again.” she crosses her arms over her chest, biting the inside of her lip to keep herself from crying. Her chest was moving up and down rapidly. He looks at her for a moment…taking in her appearance, the way she was dressed…then he realizes. His eyes grow wide and he shakes his head slightly.

“Baby…I am so sorry. We were supposed to go out tonight. It must have slipped my mind, I’ve been so—” She cuts him off.

“You’ve been so busy. Yeah, I know. That’s what you say every fucking time, Harry.” She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. “I can’t keep doing this. I’m sorry. I just need to leave.” She puts her hands out in front of her, not wanting him to come closer to her.

“Okay…I understand." He says, not necessarily wanting to let her go when she feels this way. However, he understands that she's upset and doesn't want to be around him. "Do you want to do something tomorrow instead, it’s Saturday and—” Again, she doesn’t let him finish.

“No, Harry. I’m leaving you.” She sneers and he visibly flinches at her words. He shakes his head again.

“W-what?” He stutters, his eyes growing wider as he takes a step towards her. She ducks around him to the door, and he grabs her arm, forcing her to spin around and face him. Her eyes are angry and filled with tears, hating how her body betrays her like this when she’s upset.

“I can’t keep doing this. It’s been this way for a while, H. We make plans and you forget. I don’t know what’s more important than me but—” It’s his turn to interrupt her now.

“Nothing is more important to me than you.” His tone was firm, and he meant it. To him, he was telling nothing but the truth. He looks down at her, searching her eyes. He grabs her chin between his thumb and index finger and she jerks away from his touch. A look of hurt crosses his features as she steps back, putting distance between them. He had never intended for this to happen. He doesn’t even know how he allowed something this important to slip his mind. She had never shied away from him like this, never dodged his touch like it would burn her if he got too close.

“It doesn’t seem like it.” she whispers. “It’s my birthday, and you forgot.” Her voice trembles with the words.

“Bryar. Baby, please. Don’t do this. I’m sorry, so unbelievably sorry.” He falls to his knees in front of her, capturing her hands between his own. “Don’t leave. I know this is unforgivable, but please don’t leave.” he begs, literally on his knees for her, his voice quieter and full of more pain than she’s ever heard. She resists the urge to pull her hands away from him, wanting nothing more than for his touch to be comforting like it used to be, but now it just feels dirty.

“Harry…please.” She whispers, begging him to let her go. He looks up at her, his eyes flit around her face. He brings her hands to his mouth and kisses her knuckles, shaking his head once, eyes brimming with tears.

“I’ll change. I can change.” He stammers, and she shakes her head, swallowing the knot forming in her throat.

“I want to believe you…but I can’t sit around and wait for you to change anymore.” She gives him a somber look, the tears threatening to spill from her eyes as well. “I really wanted this to work. I just don’t think it’s going to.” She turns her back to him, walking towards the door of his apartment. She doesn’t look back. If she looks back she knows she’ll run to him and apologize for even thinking about leaving him.

Once in the hallway, she leans against the door, sobbing quietly into her hands, knowing this was for the best…but realizing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. On the other side of the door, Harry leans his forehead against the wood, his shoulders shaking from the sobs wracking his body. He stood from the floor and ran towards her as she left, but the door slamming in his face kept him from running after her. It all ended so quickly. He didn’t expect any of it, didn’t expect his entire future to collapse with the slam of the door.

—

Bryar shakes her head as if the memory will crumble and the pieces will become lost in the corners of her mind. She shoves it behind the metaphorical door, the one she reserved for the memories of him. She sniffles once and walks to the shower, turning the knob to a temperature that will hopefully wash away the bad memory. Standing under the shower head, she lets the water run over her face, closing her eyes and leaning against the wall. The amount of energy it sucks from her is tenfold. Quickly washing her hair and body, she rinses the suds away and steps out, wrapping the towel tightly as the cold air comes rushing in and creates goosebumps on her skin. She wishes that the memories of him could be washed away that easily, down the drain with the tears she shed for him.

Standing at the sink again, she glances up at the mirror. Her appearance is…better. Still, her cheeks are hollow and the bags under her eyes are a deep shade of purple. She brushes her hair, her teeth, and throws a t-shirt over her head, one that smells like him, making her way back to her room. The bed still has a lingering heat from her body, the sheets soft on her clean skin. She pulls the comforter up to her nose and pulls her knees to her chest. Sighing, her eyes feel heavy, and she drifts to sleep, knowing her dreams will be filled with the memory of him, the future she always imagined with Harry nothing more than a failed plan.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, though she had a feeling this pain would last a lifetime.

—

Four Years Later

It’s been nearly four years. Bryar has moved on…or so she likes to believe. She never thought trying to forget him would be this hard. She tells herself she doesn’t think about Harry all that much anymore...but that’s the biggest lie of the century. She still sees his face on every passerby on the street, she’s convinced she smells his cologne everywhere. She plays pretend, pushing the memories of him away, locking them up behind a wall in her mind. If she continues to tell herself that she’s moved on, that she’s happy…maybe one day it’ll be the truth. The truth is that he fucked her up forever. Every corner of her apartment still reminds her of him, even after she tucked all the memories in a box and shoved it in the back of her closet.

“Baby, have you seen my tie?” Sam, her boyfriend, comes striding into the room. She sucks in a breath, his voice pulling her from her mind. She half smiles, and he pulls her to his chest in a tight hug. “You look stunning.” He whispers into her hair and she smiles. Sam has been there for her for the past two years, giving her a hope she didn’t realize she needed. They met at work, and from there the rest is really history.

“Sorry, no. I haven’t seen it.” She wraps her arms around his waist, squeezing and breathing in his cologne. She turns back towards the mirror, pushing an earring into her ear and smoothing her dress with her hands. “I’m pretty much ready though, I can help you look.” She leans her back against his chest, staring at him through the mirror as he runs his hands down her arms. They have an invitation to attend the wedding of a couple of Bryar’s friends. It’s been awhile, and she hadn’t seen Celia since right after Christmas a couple of years ago when she brought Derek home to meet her friends and family. Life got busy, Bryar got a new job, Celia moved across the country, and things just never seemed to work out when they came to town. Luckily, Derek agreed on a wedding close to Celia’s hometown, and when Bryar got the invitation she was over the moon.

Bryar walked out of the bedroom and through the hallway and to the living room, searching every surface in between for Sam’s tie, her eyebrows knitting together when she can’t find it, either. She swore she had seen it on the coffee table. She kneels on the floor, peeking under the couch. Perhaps it fell onto the floor and got kicked under there. She spots the shade of maroon that matches her dress, reaching under, saving it from the dust bunnies living under there. The light catches something when she moves the tie and she squints, only able to make out the shape of a square. She reaches under again, feeling around for the object and when her fingers graze the cool surface, she slides it out. The back of a polaroid picture stares back at her, and she’s not really sure where it came from.

She flips it over, her breath catching in her throat. Looking back at her from the little square, is Harry. He’s laughing and sticking his tongue out, and she is in the picture too. Laughing with her eyes squeezed shut, head leaned over on Harry’s shoulder. They looked so happy. She brings her hand to her mouth in surprise and she just stares at the picture. The memory of the night it was taken comes flooding back to her, hitting her like a sucker punch that steals the breath from her lungs.

—

SIX YEARS AGO

The cheap bottle of white wine on the table had just a sliver left in it. Bryar’s glass was nearing empty and Harry’s was still half full from the first pour. He had abandoned it about an hour ago for something stronger, he said.

They were sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, a vinyl spinning quietly on the record player across the room. Harry stands, making his way towards the shelf to switch it out for something different. Bryar watches as he crosses the room, bringing his glass to her lips and claiming it as hers.

“Why are we even sitting on the floor?” She asks, slightly slurring her words while a laugh escapes into her glass. She looks around, the room spinning slightly, effects of the entire bottle of wine she drank hitting her almost all at once. Harry looks at her over his shoulder, smirking.

“I don’t know. I think we were going to do a puzzle or something and then we started talking and forgot.” He mutters, looking through the old records to play trying to choose one he thought she would be in the mood to listen to. Bryar had pulled out an old photo album, the one that somehow survived the fire that her parents did not. She told him memories from her childhood, ones that were clear and the ones that were a bit fuzzy around the edges. She was beginning to forget the way her mother’s voice sounded and the way her dad’s hand felt in hers, his scars she would run her fingers over while her little brain would ask how he got them. Harry finally chooses a record and smiles to himself, carefully putting it on the turntable and setting the needle to the eighth song on the track list. He saw the longing in her eyes when she spoke of them, wishing he could take her pain and wrap it in barbed wire so it couldn’t escape and hurt her any longer. Bryar hears the opening notes of the song from the guitar playing through the speakers. She smiles at him and narrows her eyes.

“Really?” She asks as he saunters back over to her.

“What? Don’t wanna listen to Dan Fogelberg?” He teases and she shakes her head.

“Not that. Just funny that you picked this song.” She states as he sits down next to her again on the floor. She listens as the lyrics of the song Longer play through the speakers. He tilts his head, his eyes sparkling in the dim lighting of her apartment. He waits for her to tell him more. “It was my parents' wedding song, that’s all.” she shrugs and he pulls her into his side. She sighs, leaning over on his shoulder and he kisses the top of her head.

“Maybe it could be our wedding song one day, too.” He mumbles against her hair and she smiles. “I wish I could’ve met them.” He whispers to her.

“Maybe.” she whispers back. “I wish you could have met them, too.” She says, her mind beginning to go down the road of “what-ifs”.

Harry reaches forward, opening the drawer of the coffee table and rummaging through her things that have collected in the drawer over time, little trinkets and pens and post-it notes. Bryar giggles while watching him, and he reaches further into the drawer and pulls out her old polaroid camera.

“Wanna take a picture?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows and she laughs.

“I’d love to but that thing is probably dead and the film probably isn’t any good.” She grumbles. “I couldn’t tell you the last time I used it.”

“Well let’s see…” He mutters, flipping the switch on the top. The light turns green and he glances up at her, smirking. He brings it up to his face, looking through the viewfinder. “Smile.” He says in a singsong tone. Bryar gives him a cheesy smile, and the flash goes off with a click of the button. The camera spits out a square film and Harry pulls it out and sets it on the table. She leans her head on his shoulder again, sighing. He holds the camera out in front of them, and starts singing the lyrics to the song playing in a silky voice, trying to imitate Dan Fogelberg and this makes her laugh. She falls into a fit of giggles from his singing and the amount of alcohol she’s consumed, and he smiles, sticking his tongue out and snaps another picture, the moment they’re in right now permanently etched into time. Once her laughing subsides she looks up at him through her lashes. He brings his face down and touches his forehead to hers.

“I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you more.” He whispers back, kissing her softly.

—

“Bryar, did you find my tie?” Sam yells down the hall, pulling her from her memory. She wipes the single tear that fell down her cheek quickly before standing and tucking the picture into the coffee table drawer. She makes her way back to the bedroom, tie in hand. Sam is standing in front of the full length mirror, buttoning his white shirt. She holds it out, wiggling it in his face, his icy blue eyes narrow at her and he smirks.

“You’re amazing. Where was it?” He asks, plucking it from her hand and situating it around his neck.

“Under the couch. Must have fallen and gotten kicked under there.” She states while making her way to her closet to retrieve her shoes. Carrying them by the straps to the bed, she sits, crossing her leg to slip on the first and fasten it. She repeats the action with the other at the same moment Sam finishes tying his tie. She stands, walking across the room and grabbing his jacket. She stands behind him, holding it out for him to slide his arms in the sleeves. He smiles softly at her through the mirror.

“Ready?” he asks, spinning around on his heel and pulling her into him. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling his face down to meet hers. He kisses her softly, lightly ghosting his lips over hers. She smiles against his mouth, her nose brushing against his. She nods, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room before they don’t make it out the door.

The drive to the wedding venue isn’t long, but it’s not short either. She sits in the passenger seat of Sam’s car, his hand resting comfortably on her thigh that’s exposed from the slit in her dress. The radio is playing quietly, the silence between them comfortable. She watches the scenery out the window, thinking of her parents and admiring the beginning of the leaves changing colors. Autumn was always her mothers favorite season. Celia picked the perfect time to get married, like Bryar knew she would. Celia was a bit of a perfectionist, in the best way. Bryar was sure she must have researched when the trees would be at their peak vibrancy for the most perfect fall wedding, and autumn has had always held significance to Bryar since losing her mom, feeling her presence with her the most during this time of year.

“Bry?” Sam says her name while clearing his throat, pulling her from her thoughts for the second time today. She turns her head towards him, watching as he keeps his eyes on the road. Her heart squeezes a little every time he calls her by the same nickname that Harry always did. She never had the heart to ask him to call her anything else. It is just a nickname, after all. However, it never sounds quite right coming from between Sam’s lips.

“Hm?” She hums, grabbing his hand and squeezing. He squeezes her thigh in response.

“I love you.” He says, tilting his head towards her and glancing at her for a quick second. He smiles, and she smiles back, dropping her gaze to their hands together. She hadn’t told him about her parent’s yet, the timing never felt right. She makes a mental note to talk to him about it soon.

“I love you.” She says quietly, returning her gaze to the window. Does she? If she loved him her mind wouldn't keep drifting to her past and comparing him to Harry. She would open up to him more, right? It's not that she doesn't trust him, he just seems to brush her off sometimes. She feels guilty.

“Something on your mind? You’re awfully quiet.” He teases her, she shakes her head.

“No. Just admiring the view.” She reassures him.

The rest of the drive is quiet. They pull down a long gravel road towards the extravagant wedding venue. Bryar’s mouth drops open and her eyes widen when she realizes how big the building actually is. She looked up pictures, of course. However, the pictures didn’t do this place justice. The windows are tall, glass, floor-to-ceiling and framed in black. The bright white walls stand out against the red and orange and yellow trees surrounding it. It’s evening, the sun setting in the distance creating a perfect golden hue over the property. Sam pulls the car into a parking spot and quickly steps out, striding to Bryar’s side and opening her door for her. He reaches his hand down for her to take for balance as her heels meet the uneven gravel. She grabs it, swinging her legs out of the car and standing, smoothing the wrinkles of her dress down. They walk into the venue, arms linked together. The ceremony doesn’t start for another thirty minutes, but they’re serving champagne. Bryar and Sam make their way to the bar, grabbing two glasses, she looks upward taking in the high vaulted ceilings along the way. After they secure two glasses in their hands, she spots a group of people she knows across the room and they make their way over to them.

They mingle with her friends, ones she hasn’t seen in quite some time. She introduces Sam to them, and the men fall into conversations of sports teams and work while the women are talking about the books they’re reading recently or the shows they’ve been watching. Some talk of work, what the next fiscal year will bring their companies and how successful they were throughout this year. Bryar smiles, sipping from her glass while watching Sam get along with the people she used all to spend all of her time with.

Out of no where, the air in the room shifts, making Bryar feel uneasy. She’s not quite sure why this feeling suddenly hit her, maybe the open doors are bringing in a chill. She looks around, eyes flitting across the room at the groups of people mingling, spotting Celia’s mother and they lock eyes. Bryar gives her a smile and a small wave, making plans to go and speak to her. Glancing around again, she quickly catches what appears to be a head of brown curls that she’s all too familiar with and her stomach drops. Before she can confirm if it really is who she thinks it is, they disappear around a corner and are out of her sight.

It couldn’t be him, right? These were her friends, not his. He didn’t really know Celia that well, right? Celia wouldn't have invited him knowing Bryar's history with him, would she?

She feels a hand on the small of her back, snapping her from her panic. She turns her head to see Sam standing beside her. Her eyes soften and she forces a smile onto her face, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Two lines form between his eyebrows as he pulls them together, concerned.

“Hey, are you okay? You look pale, like you saw a ghost.” He asks, leaning down to whisper into her ear. She pulls back, looking him in the eyes again and nodding once.

“Yeah…I’m fine.” She lies. She would know Harry anywhere. Even out of all the people she’s mistaken for him on the street, she figured out quickly it was never him. But she knew that was him. She had memorized the way his hair laid on his head and the way he moved through a room ten times over. It was etched into her memory. Her eyes flit across the room once more, feeling the anxiety and dread creeping into the pit of her stomach. Sam’s voice pulls her back down to earth for the second time in less than five minutes. She has got to get it together.

“I think it’s time for us to find our seats.” Sam mutters under his breath and Bryar nods again, tipping her glass up and downing the rest of her champagne. Her eyes scan the crowd, looking for Harry again, just to be sure...but there’s so many people and she’s not any taller than Sam, who can see over most of the crowd himself. She chews on the inside of her lip, the metallic taste of her own blood touching her tongue. She mentally curses herself, tearing the skin from between her teeth and trying to remind herself to not do it again.

Sam finds a seat right in the middle of the row of chairs a little further back, they could see the altar from here and not have to worry about being in anyone’s way. Bryar’s heart beats quickly in her chest, feeling her body temperature rise as she searches the room.

It wasn’t this hot before, was it?

Her heart stops, her breathing stops, her vision goes blurry. It’s as if her chest has caved in on her. Because there, across the room with someone that’s the complete opposite of her, is Harry.

She can’t tear her gaze away. It's a cruel form of self sabotage, wanting to look away but forcing herself to watch the way he leans into her and whispers in her ear. The woman's head turns to look at him and she’s smiling, and it gives away the one thing she didn’t want to accept, because Bryar used to look at him exactly the same way. They aren’t just friends, he brought her with him as his date. Bryar tears her eyes from the unknown girl and her breath catches in her throat when she looks at Harry. He’s changed. His face is broader, more defined with a hint of stubble growing. He’s grinning down at his date, before planting a small kiss to her temple and Bryar feels her heart breaking. The room is too hot. She feels dizzy. She stands abruptly, looking down at Sam, who’s looking up at her with confusion for what feels like the hundredth time since they left the apartment.

She has to get out of here, preferably before her lunch ends up on the floor in front of her.

“I’m sorry. I have to…I need to…” She can’t seem to get the words out. “Bathroom.” Is all she successfully says. She doesn’t wait for him to reply. She steps around other people in the row, and when she’s free from the confines of the chairs, she practically breaks out into a sprint. She quickly covers her mouth, feeling the nausea setting in before she’s thrown into another memory of Harry.

—

SIX YEARS AGO

The streetlights cast shadows around the darkened room, the rain pattering on the window. Harry’s hand trails down Bryar’s exposed back, leaving goosebumps in its wake. She sighs with content, her eyes drifting closed. She would stay like this forever if she could…she’d give up everything to be here with him always. He was her forever. She knew that. He knew that, too. He never wanted to be anywhere else.

“Hey…” he whispers, trying to get her attention. Her eyes flutter open, the exhaustion showing on her face, but the good kind. She smiles tiredly at him. He brings his hand up, brushing the strands of auburn hair out of her face and running the backs of his fingers down her cheek. Her heart feels like it’s bursting with love for him and can’t hold any more than it already does. However, every day, he does something to prove that she somehow can love him more than the day before. He smiles, tracing over every feature of her face with his gaze. There was nothing that could make her stop loving him, she knows that.

“I really love you, you know?” She says, and his grin widens. Trailing his hand to the back of her neck, he pulls her closer to him, their bodies meshing together like they were made only for each other. He fists her hair at the nape of her neck, pulling slightly to tilt her head upwards to him. He captures her lips with his, kissing her in a way that makes her belly do somersaults, the butterflies feeling more like a stampede. She could never get used to the way he kisses her. Always like it’ll be the last. He pulls away and brings his forehead to hers, nudging his nose against hers.

“I love you.” He says, looking into her eyes the best he can being so close. “You’re it for me, Bry. You’ll always be.” She blushes, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. He turns his head slightly, kissing her temple with such gentleness it makes her heart flutter. “My sweet girl.” He mutters against her skin. His hand runs down her hair flowing behind her on the bed, twisting a strand around his finger before she feels herself slipping into sleep.

“Stay with me forever?” She whispers, so quietly she’s not even sure he heard, not even sure she spoke it...maybe she only thought it in her tired mind. Her consciousness drifting slowly, sleep threatening to pull her under.

And for a moment, he pauses. He wanted nothing more than to spend forever with her. He would cross every ocean if it meant he had her always. He feels her muscles relax, her breathing beginning to steady. He’s sure she’s asleep. He’s careful not to wake her. He closes his eyes, preparing to fall asleep as well as he squeezes her against him, trying somehow to get her closer. She feels him, all of him, his warmth consumes her. Somewhere in the distance she hears him, just barely.

“Forever.” he whispers back to her.

—

Bryar shoves her way into the bathroom, the door swinging shut behind her. She grasps the marble countertop, the cold surface stinging her hands and bringing her back to reality. Her breathing is sharp, stinging her lungs with every breath. She quickly makes her way into a stall, bracing against the wall for support, convinced she was going to empty her stomach contents in a matter of seconds. She still feels dizzy. It wasn’t Bryar beside him, and it never would be her again. She leans against the wall of the bathroom, the cool tile soothing her rising body temperature. She feels clammy, sweat forming at her hairline.

This was the worst possible outcome. She wasn’t expecting him to be here at all, not even a warning from Celia. She can’t go back out there. She can’t watch him dote on the girl he brought. Can’t watch him kiss her temple like he used to do with her, the one gesture he reserved for her and only her, the one that used to make her heart soar, the one smallest gesture just happened to be the one that Bryar has felt homesick for since the day she left. She only has a few minutes before the ceremony starts. She can’t miss Celia walking down the aisle or she’ll never forgive herself.

She straightens, taking in a long breath before drawing it back out. She goes back out to the mirror, staring at herself. Her chest is blotchy from the anxiety she’s feeling. The nervousness takes over, but she pushes through it. Her hands are shaky as she reaches for the door handle.

Bryar makes her way back to her seat by Sam. He cocks an eyebrow at her and she smiles nervously. As she sits he turns his body towards her.

“Seriously Bry, what is going on?” He asks, concern lacing his question. She waves her hand at him, dismissing him.

“Just the champagne hitting me I think.” She lies and Sam doesn’t believe her for a second. Something is going on, something he doesn’t know about. His eyes search the room but he doesn’t see anyone familiar. He watches her, she keeps her gaze towards the floor, picking nervously at her nails and his eyes narrow. She glances up and across the room. He discreetly follows her eyes, looking the same direction and seeing a man sitting with his girlfriend. He doesn’t recognize them, but it’s obvious to him that Bryar does. He makes a mental note to ask her about it later.

Bryar is having what can only be described as an existential crisis. But there’s no time for that. The large doors in front of the aisle open, and the wedding party starts to make their way to the front of the room. The chatter around the room dies down, withering to nothing as the music begins to play. Bryar turns her head to watch as they walk, thankful that she doesn’t have to look forward and watch Harry anymore.

—

HARRY

Harry and Xena make their way to find seats to watch the ceremony. He decided at the last minute to ask her to attend this wedding with him. They had only been on a few dates. They met at the bar he frequents with his friends. The same friends that encouraged him to ask her out. Encouraged him to finally move on. Bryar wasn’t coming back.

He and Xena have got on quite well so far. He enjoyed her company, more than he liked to admit. She wasn’t Bryar though, and he knows it’s unfair to compare them. She didn’t deserve that. So he tries his hardest to push Bryar to the back of his mind.

“I’m so nervous to meet your friends.” Xena leans in, whispering in his ear. He pulls back and smiles at her. She looks up at him through her lashes and it kills him, the way she looks at him like that. His grin grows wider and he wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“You’ll do great.” He whispers encouraging words in her ear, pressing his lips to her temple as his eyes close. He does it out of habit, a small gesture to ease her nerves. For a brief moment, his mind flashes to her, his Bryar. His eyes open and he’s pulled right back into reality when he sees Xena’s blonde hair. A reality he’s forced to accept. He sighs, running his free hand down his own face.

After a few moments, he hears the doors open signaling that the bridal party would be making their way in any second. He turns his head to watch behind him as the wedding party makes their way to the altar. His eyes search around the room, eager to place familiar faces to introduce Xena to after the ceremony. He catches the movement of all too familiar auburn hair. He barely catches a look at the side of her face before he can’t see anything but the back of her head. His breath catches in his throat and he coughs under his breath.

He can’t believe she’s here. In the same room as him for the first time in four long years. Of course, in the back of his mind he knew she would be. Celia is one of her best friends. Harry’s eyes widen slightly when he realizes she’s not alone. Her head turns a little and he can see more of her face again. She perches her fingers under her chin, gazing at the man beside her and smiling. His heart drops to his stomach. He remembers that look all too well. She used to look at him that way. He tries to look away but he can’t, his memories catching up to him.

—

EIGHT YEARS AGO

Harry was nervous for a date, and this was the first time he ever recalled feeling this way. He had just met this girl, Bryar, at a coffee shop a couple of days ago and she was absolutely stunning and she captivated him with her words from the moment she spoke to him. He would’ve been a fool to not ask her out after the conversation they had. He was surprised she had even agreed. They exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet at a sushi restaurant downtown.

He admired the way she spoke. The way she got a little too excited about something in their short conversation, they way her cheeks flush in embarrassment when she realized she was rambling to a stranger. He asked her out right then. No way he was going to pass up the opportunity.

The walk to the restaurant is short, but it feels eternal because he’s so nervous. When the sign comes into view, he sees her standing there. Hugging her body for warmth in the cold winter air. He picks up his pace, speed walking towards her so she doesn't have to wait any longer for him. When he approaches, their eyes meet and she smiles widely.

“Hi!” She says almost like she didn’t believe he was standing in front of her.

“You didn’t have to wait outside for me.” He states, a small laugh escaping between his words. She shrugs.

“It’s okay. It’s just a little chilly.” She reassures and he smiles at her, walking towards the door side by side. He holds it open for her, and he hears her hum when the warm air inside envelopes them. They were seated and once the first date awkwardness subsided, they stayed there most of the night. Talking about anything they could think of.

He talked about his job, she talked about her dreams and ambitions, she was in her final year of college and how excited she was to be finished with her Master’s degree. What childhood pets they had. Where he was originally from (hence the accent) and why he moved to the States. They shared childhood stories of friends and siblings and parents. Everything laid out on the table, figuratively speaking. The more she spoke the more he admired her. She had her hand under her chin and watched him speak, a smile creeping up on her face at the way he articulated his words and thoughts.

The waiter approached the table and informed them the restaurant would be closing soon, and both of them looked at each other with wide eyes, Bryar bursting out into a fit of laughter. It was the most beautiful sound he had heard in such a long time.

“I don’t really want this to end.” She admitted, catching him by surprise with her honesty. He was thinking the same, too nervous to say it.

“It doesn’t have to.” He says, his eyes meeting hers. She tucked her lips into their mouth, suppressing a smile. He signed the check and they stood, walking towards the door.

He wasn’t expecting it, the way she grabbed his hand and laced her fingers between his. He hesitates for a moment before closing his hand around hers and he feels his heart already swelling for this girl. Bryar. He knew, in that moment, that she was going to fuck him up forever. Having just met, his heart already belonged to her, and that was dangerous...and for some reason, he didn’t care.

They were inseparable after that.

—

Harry feels a hand slide into his, snapping him out of his memory. Xena has her head tilted to the side, worried.

“Where did you go just now?” She whispers, and he shakes his head.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” He reassures her. But was he fine? Bryar was right there. He’d been dreaming for another chance to speak to her. His breathing picks up, and he turns away. He can’t keep looking in that direction because all he was doing was staring at her. He had to get out of here, fast. He fists the material of his dress pants, turning to face the front of the room instead. He couldn’t leave yet even though he wanted to. He couldn't run off and steal the moment away from Celia. The attention would be on him and the last thing he wanted was for Bryar to see him, if she hadn’t already.

So he faces the front, breathing rapidly through his nose. Hoping to not draw attention to himself. Xena places her hand on his knee, and he closes his eyes.

He was so fucked.

—

BRYAR

She looks over at Sam with adoration, trying to keep her breathing at an even pace. She knew if she glanced to the left she would see Harry, and that made her anxious. The flower girl was walking down the aisle shyly, and everyone was cooing and smiling at her. Bryar kept her eyes trained on the doors as they shut, preparing for Celia to walk through them for her grand entrance.

The doors open and everybody stands. There Celia stands with her dad by her side. She looks ethereal. Bryar feels tears brimming her eyes and she swipes at them before they can fall down her cheeks.

But now she has to turn and face him again and she’s not sure what will happen when she does. Her mind races, ultimately unable to avoid turning around. She looks up at where Derek stands, and sees that he’s swiping at his own eyes, seeing the love of his life walking towards him filling him with unspeakable emotion.

Bryar’s eyes flit over to Harry. His back is facing her, but his plus one is still turned to watch Celia. Bryar’s eyes meet hers for a brief moment and she holds her breath. Surely Harry has told her about Bryar, the girl who broke his world. His heart. The girl smiles at Bryar and Bryar forces herself to smile back, a passive smile. Of course, this girl never did anything to her. She didn’t even know who she was, never seeing her before this moment.

The officiant speaking causes their gaze to break, Bryar averting her eyes forward. She tried to focus on the words, but her mind is still racing. Sam rests his hand on her thigh, squeezing gently. She peeks over at him, and he leans in to whisper in her ear.

“I can’t wait for this to be us one day.” He says, nudging her once with his nose and kissing right beside her ear. She smiles, but her heart constricts behind her ribs. They had talked about their future together before, briefly. Bryar preferred to live in the moment after Harry. With Harry she was always looking forward instead of in moment, and she realizes that’s where most of her disappointments lie. In the future. The future is not predictable.

The ceremony lasts all of 30 minutes, and then the guests are dismissed to the ballroom for cocktail hour while the newlyweds and their wedding party take pictures together. Sam guides Bryar through the doors, a hand on her back so she knows he’s right behind her. The ballroom is decorated from floor to ceiling, flowers hanging out of vases and spilling into the table in beautiful arrangements. Bryar finds hers and Sam’s names at a table with the same friends they spoke to at the beginning of the evening. Sam leaves her to go to the bar and get drinks for the table.

Bryar engages in conversation as best as she can. They are talking about something that’s out of her realm and only adds when she feels it’s appropriate. Sam is walking towards them, carrying six drinks somehow and she finds herself giggling at how he’s able to carry three cups in one hand. He raises his eyebrows at her, blowing out a breath. He hands them out, holding them until the respective person takes it and then sits Bryar’s in front of her last.

“Thank you.” She says and he leans down, pecking her lips.

—

HARRY

Harry grabs Xena's hand, his fingers lacing with hers as they make their way into the ballroom, the lights from the ceiling twinkling and reflecting on the windows. They find their table, seated with a few people Harry knows and he pulls Xena’s chair out for her to sit.

“Drink?” He asks, running a hand through his hair and she nods.

“Just something light for now.” She requests and he nods, his hand lingering on her chair as he walks away. He waits in line behind a slightly taller man with dark black hair. The man turns to look over his shoulder and Harry recognizes him as the one that Bryar is here with. His eyes narrow, a bit of jealousy fueling his mind, but he shakes it away. Someone comes up behind Harry, navigating around him and getting the attention of the man in front of him.

“Sam! Hey man. I didn’t know you knew Celia and Derek.” The man takes Sam’s hand in his, shaking it, obviously someone he knew as an acquaintance. Sam smiles a little.

“Oh, I don’t really. I’m here with my girlfriend. They’re more her friends than mine.” Sam informs the stranger and he nods.

“Oh right, Bryar. Tell her I said hello.” The man responds and Sam nods. Harry looks down at the floor, kicking the toe of his shoe against the hardwood. He bites his cheek hearing her name. Sam and the unnamed man part ways after a bit of conversation, promising to catch up later in the evening after the ceremony. The line moves forward and Harry listens as Sam orders drinks for what seems to be his entire table.

“…and then I need vodka cranberry.” He finishes the order on Bryar’s drink. Harry would know, he’d ordered that for her at least a hundred times, the only other drink she enjoyed besides the cheap white wine from the grocery store. He looks to the side, his eyes narrowing, the jealousy bubbling up in his chest.

“Forgot to make it a double.” Harry mutters under his breath, and to his surprise Sam turns around. She never orders a single shot. Ever.

“What?” Sam asks, cocking his eyebrow and Harry looks over at him, shrugging.

“Didn’t say anything.” He shakes his head once, denying that he said anything. Sam looks at him for another moment, like he’s trying to place where he’s seen him before, before turning back around to the bartender. A second later, Sam is juggling all six drinks in his hand and nodding once at Harry before finding a path to his table. Harry orders for himself and then for Xena, dropping a tip in the jar and winding around chairs and tables back to her.

He slides into his chair, sipping on his beer and his mind slips into a memory.

—

SEVEN YEARS AGO

Bryar leans over the table, pool stick in hand and aiming at the cue ball directing it to the eight ball on the table. If she sinks it she wins. Harry stands behind her, a hand protectively resting on her back. Last thing he needs is someone looking at his girl with their drunken eyes trailing up her body. Not that he would blame them for looking, but his jealousy doesn’t let them get away with it if he catches them. Her hips shift slightly against his hand and he smirks.

Watching her intently, he admires the way her hair falls over her shoulder and tucked behind her ear, the tip of her tongue sticking out a little in concentration. She takes the shot, and sinks the eight ball, winning the game with ease. She straightens, jumping a little and turning to face him. The excitement in her eyes makes them twinkle and she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling his face down to hers to kiss him.

“I won.” She grins, giggling a little and he pecks her lips again.

“You won, baby.” He mutters against her lips, pulling her a little closer to him.

“Get a room, you two.” Celia groans beside them and Bryar snickers, turning her head to face Celia and sticking her tongue out. Her temple touches against Harry’s chin and he dips a little lower to plant a small kiss there.

“Want a drink?” Harry asks, lips still pressed lightly to her skin and she nods.

“Vodka cranberry, remember to make it a do—” She starts to say, but Harry cuts her off.

“A double. I know. How you always want it.” He smirks, backing away from her before he turns away and makes his way towards the bar. He orders, looking over his shoulder at her while the bartender prepares their drinks. She’s already taking on her next victim in a game of pool, probably going to wipe the floor with them like the last unfortunate soul. There’s only one thought in his mind as he watches her, bent over the table to break.

He would marry her one day.

—

“Right, Harry?” his friend, Zack, asks from across the table. Harry blinks once, Zack raises an eyebrow waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really paying attention. Something on my mind.” He mutters, looking anywhere but at anyone at the table.

“Um…okay.” Zack says, turning back to the conversation.

The reception starts and the speeches and toasts to the bride and groom are all a blur. Harry doesn’t even get up to eat. He hasn’t really spoken to Xena and she hasn’t prodded him for answers either. The only thoughts racing through his mind were of Bryar. He just wanted to speak to her, he’d give up everything right now to be able to talk to her.

—

BRYAR & HARRY

Bryar and Sam are standing at a cocktail table outside of the reception area. Sam has been talking to them all night and Bryar tunes most of the conversation out, standing with one arm crossed over her middle and holding a plastic cup to her lips, chewing on the lip of it lightly. She’s leaning her head against Sam, eyes growing tired.

She turns her head for a brief moment, glancing around the room. Her eyes find Harry across the room, and it’s just become a habit as the night goes on. Her heart develops an ache that is so strong, she can’t believe how much seeing him has affected her. She lets her eyes linger on him a moment longer…what a mistake that was.

His eyes shift towards her, and their eyes meet.

She sucks in a breath, and she sees him swallow. It’s as if the entire world stops, everything and everyone in the room fades into the background, and it’s as if the only two in the room are Bryar and Harry. She wants nothing more than to run to him, throw her arms around him and sob into his shoulder, apologizing for leaving, for hurting him the way she did…but her feet are cemented to the floor. She knows she can’t. She loves Sam, and Sam loves her. As fucked up as it sounds, she feels like it doesn’t even matter because the only person she wants to love is Harry.

Her heart longs for him. She craves the way he used to say her name, the way he used to kiss her temple to calm her and remind her that he was right at her side, always. He stays where he is, his arm wrapped loosely around Xena’s waist and it pulls at her heart, constricting it in her ribcage. Harry can’t tear his eyes away and neither can Bryar.

He just wants to storm over to her and kiss her in front of the entire room. He doesn’t care about the consequences. He wants to grab her and tell her he doesn’t blame her for any of it. He wants to tell her that she’s still it for him, and he doesn’t expect her to come running back and give him another chance but he’ll always be waiting for her anyway. Seeing her tonight has only reminded him how much he's longed for her. But for whatever reason, he can’t bring himself to take that first step..

—

Four Years Ago

“...I just don’t think it’s going to.” Bryar says, her voice trembling on the words, she turns to walk away, and Harry brings himself to his feet, preparing to stop her from walking out the door. He doesn’t make it in time though, the breeze from the door slamming blowing back in his face. He feels the pang in his chest, the closing of the door making him accept quickly that this was real and she was gone. He leans his head against the hard wood of the door, allowing the tears to flow freely down his cheeks. They don’t stop, not even when the sobs take over his body, shaking and unable to breathe.

He’s not sure how long he’s been there. He doesn’t remember what time he even came home. At some point he turned his back to the door and slid down to the floor, staring at nothing. He finally blinks, turning his head and catching the time on the clock in the kitchen. Five A.M.

She had to come back, right? They were good together, she didn’t mean it. She was just upset. He would let her cool off for a couple days, and then he would try to talk to her. He pushes his body off the floor, muscles aching and screaming from leaning against the door all night.

He trudged down the hallway to his bed. It's unnervingly cold, the source of its usual warmth not present. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept without her. How could he sleep if she wasn’t there running her fingers down the expanse of his back, bringing her body closer to him for him to hold.

He tries to sleep, tossing and turning relentlessly for over an hour. When he’s had enough, he rises from the bed and decides to make a cup of coffee. The pang in his chest never goes away. His eyes feel sandy and he can’t fully open them. He stirs a little bit of milk into the mug, his motions slow and lethargic.

He turns memories over in his mind, combing through them to find the moment when everything started going south. Obviously, missing Bryars birthday was the straw that broke the camel’s back, the final nail in the coffin. He didn’t realize that she’d been unhappy, it seems, for a while. She never gave him any hint, they hadn’t really had a fight in what feels like so long. But isn’t that when he should have noticed? Was she tired of fighting him? Fighting for him?

He needs to see her. Needs to apologize. He’ll never stop apologizing, if that’s what it takes. He throws on his jacket and grabs his keys, leaving his apartment without a second thought. He doesn’t think of anything but Bryar on the way over to hers. She’ll answer the door. She has to, right? She was just upset, maybe she’s having second thoughts this morning.

He pulls up, throwing the car in park and practically jumping out before it stops moving. He sprints to her door, bringing his fist up to knock, but he pauses. He doesn’t hear her moving around inside. It’s silent. Was her car even in the parking lot? He steps back, looking around the wall to the lot and spots her car in its usual spot. Was she still sleeping? He finally knocks, waiting a few seconds for the sound of her footsteps coming to the door, except they don’t. He has a key, he could just go in. He fumbles his keyring around, mindlessly searching for the familiar blue key she had made for him not long after they started seeing each other, but it's not there. He doesn’t remember removing it, but maybe he did. He knocks again.

“Bry, baby please open the door.” He says, not yelling but loud enough for her to hear. There’s no answer back. No sound of her coming to him. Not the familiar turn of the deadbolt.

Nothing.

They can’t be over.

He was supposed to marry her. She was supposed to be forever.

He didn’t think forever was supposed to end this way.

—

Bryar is sure that someone has noticed them staring at each other by now, whether it be his date or Sam, yet she can’t seem to pull her gaze away. He nods his head to the side once, and it feels almost as if her heart was pulling towards him, trying to break free from the confines of her chest. His eyes flit across the room, and her gaze follows. She notices a hallway in his direct line of sight. When she looks back at him, he’s looking at her. Waiting.

Now she has the biggest dilemma. Does she stay at Sam’s side or does she finally after four long years get to hear Harry’s voice again? She’s frozen in place. Harry watches her, his eyes pleading with her to go and he’ll meet her there. He sees her apprehension. He knows what this would mean for her if she chanced being caught with him in the hallway.

She turns to Sam, looking up at him as he’s deep in conversation and it’s hard to make out the topic when her heart is beating so loudly it fills her ears. She watches him for a moment, thinking of every moment he was there for her, pulling her out of the darkness and giving her light whenever he couldn’t. She loves him.

But not in the way she loves Harry. Harry’s the only person who sees her for her. She doesn’t have to pretend around him. She doesn’t have to be something that she’s not. Never had to conform to please him, and she felt alive with Harry. She looks back across the room at him, he hasn't moved, his expression is one of longing. Pleading.

“Please.” She sees him mouth the word so clearly, begging her to give him any of her time. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath for the first time this evening, the air filling her lungs.

That was all it took.

Everything that happens next is a blur. She excuses herself to the restroom, slinking further away from the group. Her heart is racing, the closer that she gets to the hallway her palms start to sweat from the fists she has them clenched in. Once she’s behind the cover of the walls, she runs. Her dress is flowing behind her as she sprints, but it feels like she’s moving in slow motion, like she can’t get to him quickly enough. She rounds the corner and there he is, standing at the end and her vision betrays her from the tears brimming her lashes.

She doesn’t stop running, not until she reaches him. She flings her arms around his neck, burying her face between his collar and jaw. His arms wrap tightly around her waist and she breathes him in, the scent that’s lingered in her dreams every night since the last, and his arms feel like she’s finally home. He’s there, every part of him taking over her senses and it’s like she can finally breathe after drowning for so long. He lifts her feet off the floor, pushing her into a darkened room and closing the door behind them. She pulls away, looking at him…really looking at him for what feels like the first time, and she’s unable to stop the tears from running down her cheeks. He grabs her face, his eyes searching hers. He’s so close and it almost feels like she’s dreaming. She feels weightless, the room around her spinning.

“Bry…” Harry whispers, and it sounds so beautiful coming from him. She doesn’t waste any time. She grips the lapels of his jacket, forcefully bringing his mouth to hers and she melts. His hands find their way to her hips, gripping and pulling her closer to him. His body melds into hers, pushing her against the wall. His tongue brushes against her bottom lip, begging to let him in and she does without pause. They need each other. He pulls away, their breaths ragged and shaking, from the kiss or from just being in the other’s presence. His forehead rests on hers, and he’s just taking her in. All of her.

“I’m not going to be able to leave without you after this.” He admits without remorse, kissing the tip of her nose delicately.

“I don’t want you to.” She says in a hushed tone. She pauses for a moment, looking up at him and studying his features. “But H, I think we need to have a serious conversation. It’s been so long, we never talked about anything and I take full responsibility for that. I left you, and I never intended to. Never. I’ve regretted it every day since.” Her voice trembles, admitting how vulnerable she’s been. Her gaze falls to the floor, shaking her head. "I didn't think you wanted me anymore."

“Baby, it’s not your fault. I promise. I will always want you. I said you were it for me, and I meant it.” He grabs her face again, forcing her to look up at him. “I am so sorry, I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you, if you’ll let me.” He cards his fingers through her hair, the tips of his fingers ghosting down her spine making her shiver. “I love you, Bry, I always have. I never stopped.” His eyes trace over every feature of her face, soaking in everything he’s been missing.

“I don’t deserve for you to forgive me so easily.” She whispers, and he shakes his head.

“No. None of that.” He kisses her again, unable to control the desire to feel her mouth on his. She sighs into the kiss, and he feels his heart pulling itself back together. “If anyone should be asking for forgiveness, it’s me. Whatever you want, it’s yours. I’ll give you anything…anything you ask for. Please just don’t make me leave without you.” He says against her lips. She grabs his wrists, bringing his hands to her mouth and kisses his knuckles.

“Take me home.” she whispers and he grins, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the room and down the hall, away from all of the people. Somehow Harry finds a backdoor and they sneak away into the night, laughing and running through the wet grass with their hands intertwined while Bryar’s shoes are in his other hand. Her head is spinning from adrenaline and nervousness. They find Harry’s car and she jumps into the passenger seat, Harry in the driver’s seat. He leans over the console and pulls her face to his once more, kissing her with everything he has. They drive away from the venue, her stomach in knots. Then she feels Harry’s hand snake over to her thigh, drawing small circles on her skin with his finger.

The drive to his apartment feels shorter than the drive to the wedding earlier in the day. They waste no time, practically sprinting into the building and up the stairs. He fumbles his keys and once the door is open, he pulls her inside. She doesn’t get a chance to take it in before he’s pushing her against the wall and kissing her again and again and again. The kiss is sloppy and wet, his tongue dancing with hers and teeth clashing together. He lifts her by her thighs, her legs instinctively wrapping around his torso. He forces himself away from the kiss, both of them breathing heavily and fast.

“Need you Bry.” He mumbles, dropping his lips to her collarbone and kissing lightly. “Always fucking need you.” Her eyes flutter closed and she hums. He knew how to make her melt with just his words, never forgetting what brings her to her knees.

“My girl. My sweet girl.” His lips travel to her shoulder, light touches leaving goosebumps on her skin, her body reacting like it’s never forgotten him. His tongue darts out, licking a stripe up to her ear and his breathing becomes heavy against her skin.

“Taste as sweet as I remember.” His voice drops an octave and Bryar audibly moans, forgetting that his words have always had such an effect on her. He pulls back, giving her a mischievous grin. His eyes have darkened and she down at him still holding her against the wall, her appetite for him becoming insatiable. She unhooks her legs, signaling for him to let her back down. Once her feet touch the floor she’s pushing his jacket off, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. Her movements are frantic and shaky, fingers slipping over the buttons struggling to open them.

“Fuck it.” She says, fisting his shirt and ripping it open, buttons scattering around the floor. Her mouth waters at the sight of him. She pushes him further into his apartment, he smirks down at her, walking backwards until his legs meet the edge of the couch and he sits. She climbs on top of him, knees straddling either side of his waist and her dress rides up and around her hips. His hands find her hips, grabbing and forcing her all the way down in his lap. She groans when she feels his hardened length pressed against her center. He moves her hips for her, creating a friction so sweet she can barely hold herself up.

“Been waiting so long for this.” He murmurs, running his hands from her thighs up the expanse of her body. He pulls at the string on the back of her dress, making it unravel and it falls off her shoulders exposing her breasts to him. He dips his head forward and flicks his tongue against her nipple, causing Bryar to throw her head back, a quiet whimper escaping her lips while grinding her hips against him still. She lifts her hips, dropping her hands to the button on his pants. He lifts his hips slightly, allowing her space to pull his pants down just enough. She palms him through the thin material still covering him and he drops his head back with a loud groan.

“Need you so bad Har.” She whines, and that sets him off. He wraps an arm around her, picking her up and standing in one swift motion, carrying her to his bedroom. He lays her down gently, climbing on the bed to hover over her, his knee spreading her legs apart.

“Where do you need me, sweet girl?” He teases her by running a hand lightly up her thigh, trailing it back down. She sighs, grabbing his hand and putting him right where she wants him.

“Right fucking here.” she says through gritted teeth. His smirk grows wider, knowing she didn’t want to be teased. She’d gone without his touch for so long she felt starved. He pushes the lace covering her to the side, his finger swirling around her hole and the arousal that was already pooled there. Her eyes flutter closed and he watches her, studying her face as he slides his finger up, tracing small circles on her clit. She gasps, mouth dropping open, he inserts his finger to the knuckle and has her writhing beneath him. He thrusts his finger, hooking and finding just the right spot with ease. Her hips thrust upwards and he pushes in another, stretching her out and making her squirm under him.

“Being such a good girl for me, Bry. Always my good girl.” His voice is deep and he’s practically drooling watching her come undone from something as simple as this.

“Need more.” she begs between breaths.

“More?” His voice is low and gravelly as he kneels down, but he never takes his eyes off her. His fingers work her open slowly, her hips moving at a rhythm that matches his thrusts. She whines and cries and begs for more. “He never touched you like this, did he? So needy for something so simple.” he teases her, but she doesn’t want to think about Sam. Not right now. Even though he’s right, Sam never made her feel this way and she knows it. Harry can tell, the way her body is reacting to him makes it obvious she’s needed this for quite some time. He takes his fingers away from her and her breath leaves her lungs. She feels empty and the burning in her belly only heightens. The emptiness doesn’t last long, he brings his tongue to her dripping hole and licking all the way to her clit, flicking when he gets there. Her fingers tangle in his hair and he works his tongue on her clit while he brings his fingers back into play, pushing them into her. She feels the coil in her belly tighten, knowing that she’s about to let go.

“Shit, H. If you don’t stop, I’m gonna—” she stutters out, her sentence breaking with a strained moan, and he works his fingers faster, lapping at her swollen bud. He shifts and stands over her, watching her unravel from just his fingers. He bends over, bringing his mouth to her ear and his warm breath tickling her skin.

“Cum for me. Wanna feel you on my fingers, sweet girl.” he coos in her ear, his soft words are all it takes for the coil to snap and she’s clenching around his fingers, the ecstasy flowing through her.

“So pretty.” he murmurs as he watches her face contort into an expression of pleasure from above her. He brings his fingers up to her mouth, instructing her to open, and she does without question, tasting herself on him. He strips the rest of his clothes off, her mouth drooling at the sight of his cock finally springing free. A sight she’s been so desperate to see. He positions himself over her, tugging himself a few times before lining up with her.

He drags the tip of his cock down her folds once, collecting her arousal before he finally pushes into her, and its bliss. His chin drops to meet his chest, watching the way she takes him before throwing his head back again as he slowly works his entire length into her.

“Fuck, Bryar. Missed this. Missed you so much.” He grunts as he bottoms out and she writhes under him, her mouth hanging open from the overwhelming pleasure taking over her body. “S’like you were fucking made for me.” He stills for a moment, lowering himself so he can kiss her. She whimpers and whines into his mouth, grabbing his face with her hands not allowing him to pull away from her. She grinds her hips up, pressing their bodies together to try and create some movement.

“Go, Har. Need you to move.” she begs against his mouth and he pecks her lips again, shaking his head.

“Wanna savor it. Wanna go slow, feel all of you, baby. Missed you so much. Need to remember this.” She throws her arm around the back of his neck, holding him close to her as he drops his mouth to her neck, biting and sucking and lapping at her skin. He pulls his cock all the way out to the tip before he slowly pushes back in, setting a slow, torturous pace. So slow that it’s almost cruel. Bryar stifles a needy moan trying not to make him rush, but she needs him. Needs the way he used to be with her. She wants it to feel like they never missed a beat.

“Harry, please.” she gasps out as his hips meet hers again. His lips brush against her ear.

“Thought you were my good girl?” He nipped at her ear, and she was growing frantic.

“A-am.” she stutters, tears pooling in her eyes. “Being so good, just missed you. Need you.” she says breathlessly. She feels herself finally slipping. Slipping into that headspace she had only ever been in with him, only one she ever felt comfortable enough with when she was with him. The tip of his nose runs against her jawline, too gentle with her. He knows what he’s doing, riling her up and making her needy. He knows what she wants…he wants it too, finding it hard to resist falling into the familiarity with her, like not a single second has passed since the last time.

“Har, this isn’t fair. You’re being mean.” she cries between shaky breaths, feeling the tears starting to run. He pulls back, looking at her face once and seeing her expression, hearing her say he was being unfair flips a switch in him. He takes her by surprise and slams his hips into hers, causing her vision to go white and her mouth falls open again. He’s going hard, harder than he ever has with her and her thighs tighten around his hips and he feels her clenching around him.

“This what you want? Huh?” He says through a snarl, his teeth clenched together behind his lips. “This fucking mean enough for you?” He curses under his breath, bringing his hands to her thighs and pushing her knees to her chest, creating a new angle that somehow gets him deeper. She moans and writhes and her thighs shake in his hands, but she hasn’t said another word.

“That’s what I thought.” he mutters, looking down and watching himself disappear inside her, his head tipped to the ceiling and his eyes rolling back. She wraps her hands around his biceps, digging her nails into his skin. He shifts his weight, bringing her thighs flush with his torso and her ankles by his head, he kisses her skin there, and his movements never falter.

“Look so pretty taking my cock like this, Bry.” He grunts, and she’s falling apart. She can’t hold in any longer and she comes undone, the pleasure pulsing through her veins. She goes limp under him and her legs falling from his shoulders, her body exhausted from being worked this way. Her arms fall over her eyes and quiet moans fall from her lips. Harry grabs her wrists, pulling her arms above her head and keeping them captive there. He holds them together in one hand as he bends to kiss her, snaking his other hand down her body that shakes beneath him. He just needs one more. Needs her to cum one more time. His fingers dance over her hip, tracing lightly to her sensitive clit. He pushes his thumb against it and her body jolts and she cries out.

“H-Harry, no. Can’t. Can’t do it. Hurts." She can barely get the words out as he draws small circles around the bud. She looks up at him with wide eyes, shaking her head and pleading with him.

“You can. Know you can.” he encourages her, feeling his resolve coming quickly. If he could just get one more from her, he’d let her be finished. He was just so desperate to feel her clenching around him one more time, he longed for the feeling for so long. He finally had her where he wants her and he’s not letting her be finished that easily. “You take me so well, just one more. Need to feel you one more time.” He kisses her temple as her head falls to the side…and her third comes not long after that, his fingers slowly petting over her clit makes it so easy and she cums hard. The moment he feels her tightening around him he lets go, his hips stuttering and her name falls from his lips over and over, his head dropping to her shoulder with heavy breaths.

They lay there like that for a moment, his weight on top of her as she lazily wraps her arms around the back of his neck. Their heartbeats are thundering in both of their chests, and he hums as her fingernails run over his shoulder. They’re both silent for what feels like too long, but finally Harry stands and he walks off to the bathroom, bringing back essentials to help her clean up. He goes to his closet, pulling out an old shirt for her to wear, one he’s seen her in countless times before. They settle in the bed, and he pulls her to his chest, breathing her in, and he feels complete. She feels at home. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces.

Bryar’s phone rings incessantly until it dies, and she can’t find it in her heart to care. The adrenaline that was coursing through her veins for the past few hours was finally fading, growing sleepy while wrapped up in Harry’s arms, and that’s all she ever really wanted. It was fate, seeing him tonight, and maybe she always knew in the back of her mind that they would find their way back to each other. She lifts her tired eyes to his face, from his tousled hair to the stubble growing over his chin. Smiling, she brings her hand up to his cheek. He opens one eye, peeking at her. She smiles shyly at him, and he smirks back.

“Hi.” She whispers and the smile on her face grows.

“Hi.” He whispers back, trailing his hand down her arm. He moves closer, kissing her forehead, then the tip of her nose, then her lips. She closes her eyes, nuzzling closer to him and breathes out deep through her nose.

“I love you.” She mumbles.

“I love you, Bry.” He says into her hair, the familiar scent of strawberry filling his senses.

“Forever?” She asks for reassurance, even though she already knew the answer, her eyes falling closed, sleep consuming her mind.

“Forever.” She hears him say quietly before she falls asleep with his hand drawing shapes along her spine, the scene identical to ones they used to share countless times, many years ago. She feels comfort. She feels safe. And if you wanted to make the long story of their love short…for her, it was always going to be him, and for him, it would always be her.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · 𖥸· ─────── · ·

taglist: @indierockgirrl (tagging you because you said you wanted to be tagged in everything and i just love you so much for that <3)

#harry styles #harry #styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x fmc #fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #smut #right where you left me #wrongplacerighttime #exes to lovers #normal!harry #normal!fmc #harry fic #harry styles fic #harry styles au

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kimbap-r0ll · 6 months

Text

Dorm Leaders Meet Villain Counterparts

If my childhood self saw Twst, I feel like she would combust because it's literally two parts of my childhood put together (anime and Disney). But here's something I thought of for Halloween or for some writing in general, hope you enjoy!

Riddle

I feel like he would kind of fangirl, like omg this is literally a Great Seven just standing in front of him!

Is extremely polite, the queen probably likes him because he remembers every rule, every little thing that will get him on his good side.

The two of them probably get along to some extent, though I feel like even if she is kinda bonkers, she would feel a little bad for how he basically had no childhood. Like yeah Riddle's the role-model student and dorm leader, but this kid hasn't had much fun in his life. Might actually be a little more chill with him haha

Overall the two of them are definitely immediate friends and will be a nightmare to Ace and Deuce. I can see these two enjoying tea together while Ace and Deuce have to paint flowers lmaooo

Leona

How does this work? Like a lion meeting a beastman? I feel like Scar would be more confused than Leona like "what is going on this guy's like half me?"

I feel like they wouldn't really have a fangirling moment like Riddle did, but they are definitely chill together. Like Leona might be like "Imma sleep here" and Scar's like "👍" and they don't bother each other. Do I think Scar will try to eat Leona? No. But will he try to eat other students? Maybe

The two totally understand the whole "my-brother-got-all-the-attention" feeling and might bond a bit with that. Not sure what that would look like, but they might complain about how Mufasa/Farena feel too pompous. Oh, and they don't like kids, find them annoying haha

I really have no idea how this would look like since it would look like a lion just standing around in a dorm lobby with a prince just like "yo whattup bro" but I would love to see it!

Azul

Definitely fangirls a little bit, might scare Ursula a tad because he seems to know everything about her? I mean, great at least she's regarding as a "benevolent" person

The two are totally going to plot for someone's demise together and make a fail-proof plan to take over the school. Crowley stops the two from going too far but they have the plan, it might happen any day lol. They definitely talk about their favorite spells and potions for sure

I feel like Ursula would feel kinda bad for Azul too, sort of like Riddle's case. Will remind him to not worry about others since she thinks he's much better than all of the other students. Azul might tear up a bit (the two share a small wholesome moment before going back to business-related stuff)

I feel like it would be kinda fun to see how they would act together. I think they would at first notice each others' scams and then be like "omg great minds think alike" lmaoo

Kalim (feat. Jamil)

Kalim thinks Jafar looks scary, but nonetheless is super hyped to meet him. Will throw a big party and it might cause the sorcerer to be low-key stunned by all of the attention. If Iago's there, he definitely got a biscuit/cracker from Kalim by force

I feel like Jafar will talk more to Jamil than Kalim while he's busy trying to chase Iago down by carpet (please a carpet chase please) mainly because Jafar kinda feels bad for Jamil. Like this guy's had almost the same life as he did, but Jamil is like "nope don't worry I have a plan 😈"

Jamil probably likes Iago because he's always wanted a parrot as a pet, will likely not force a cracker/biscuit which helps Iago warm up to him faster than Kalim.

I think all of these characters could hit it off well, but it's honestly kinda awkward when Jafar's like "I was going to overthrow the sultan" and then Kalim's like "...that lowkey feels familiar but imma let that slide 💀"

Vil

The two are immediately like "you're beautiful queen" "thank you bae" 😭

I literally feel like they would bash their respective rivals while doing skin care together. Like they'll be like "xyz is so annoying" whlie lying down on a couch and the other one is like "fr." Iconic, and definitely all the students can tell the Evil Queen has a regal air about her. Vil doesn't fangirl as much as the others, but he definitely says that he respects her a lot

I think the Evil Queen, as evil as she is, will still feel bad for Vil since she can see how much effort and work he puts into his work. He's a model, an influencer, a dorm leader, all at once and it feels like not a lot of people respect him as much as they should. Definitely tells him that he's doing well

The two of them need to do a collaboration of some kind, and if she happens to help him out on dorm duties one day all of the students are like "oh no it's like 2 Vils at once" lol

Idia

I actually really want to see this, probably will be the funniest interaction because they're almost like polar opposites. Hades is all like "Hades, Lord of the Underworld how'rya doin?" and Idia's like "...eep"

While Hades is around Twisted Wonderland he'll definitely try to raise idia's confidence. Will take him all around campus to get him to talk to people and also to show off his own skills lol. But Hades probably loved watching Idia play video games, like damn why's he so good at rhythm games 💀

Will find Ortho super adorable, but definitely felt really bad about Ortho and Idia's backstory. He may be evil in the Disney version of Greek mythology, but I feel like Hades would still have a bit of a heart to feel bad for Idia, like he's gone through so much in so little time. Probs gave him a hug too

The two of them have definitely tried playing some games together, and whenever the two of them got angry at a boss it was like the room lit up red because of their hair lol. Idia probably thought it was super cool that Hades had similar hair to him, maybe fangirled a little bit about that

Malleus

I feel like the two would have the chillest conversations out of all of them because they just feel like the cool-headed ones. Malleus definitely is respectful towards her, and she is too. Definitely praised him for his magic abilities

The two have bonded over their lack of party invitations, but Malleus is like "oh I've been getting invited to a house tho!" and then boom Yuu has to meet one of the greatest Disney villains of all time while in their pajamas lol

I feel like for sure Maleficent thinks Malleus is a super cool person, might want to meet his mother too just because it might be an interesting interaction. Nonetheless the two of them are super chill. Sebek will want to talk to her too just because she's just so popular

Will Malleus geek out about grotesques and gargoyles to her? Yes. Is it fun for her? Surprisingly so! I feel like even if she's known as the Mistress of Evil, she might like smaller more mundane things like medieval architecture, and it's always fun to hear from Malleus so why not? She has definitely asked Yuu about their life and experiences which might've scared the shit out of them but still haha

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst headcanons #twst dorm leaders #twst riddle headcanons #twst leona headcanons #twst azul headcanons #twst kalim headcanons #twst vil headcanons #twst idia headcanons #twst malleus headcanons #disney villains #happy halloween

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ssuperficialspacecadett · 1 year

Text

Pollen and Plottin'

Chapter Five of the Through the Scope series | Chapter Six

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4K

Chapter Overview: You have a morning out of hell and all signs point to Frankie to bail you out.

Notes: I fucking knew i would be back this week LMAOOO,, finals next week and then i'll finally be free from the shackles of uni !! this gif was playing on repeat in my brain while i was writing and lorddd it made it so hard to concentrate,, i updated the tag list so i hope i added everyone that was kind enough to ask to be on it ((: as usual .. my asks are always open & happy reading <3

*no use of y/n & female presenting reader*

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You must have done something truly heinous in your past life to warrant this series of unfortunate events this Tuesday morning. The first issue makes itself known to you when your alarm doesn’t go off this morning. Your body must have known that you were getting a suspicious amount of sleep because thankfully it wakes you up with an hour to get ready. Issue number two comes in the form of empty bottles. You jump out of the shower in record breaking time. Body wrapped in a towel, skin still littered in water droplets, you scour your bathroom counter for your hair products. A frustrated sigh leaves you when you notice that your products are in the trash can. You knew that you should have left yourself a note to go pick up more the second you ran out.

“Bright side. Bright side. There's always a bright side.” You repeat your new mantra down the hall to the kitchen.

As you wait for your coffee to brew, you try to change your way of thinking. Yes, you woke up late, but at least you had an hour to get ready. Yes, you didn’t have any hair products, but at least you got to shower. See? Not so bad looking now, huh? When the coffee is done you remove the pot from its stand and set it on your counter. You make your way to the fridge to pull out your creamer and then your cabinets to retrieve your favorite mug. Unfortunately, your depth perception is off because as you bring your mug and creamer to the counter you knock the coffee pot into the sink. It must have been right on the edge and you just didn’t realize it. Tears prick your eyes as you watch the third issue of the morning disappear down the drain. You don’t think there is a bright side to this problem. With time not acting as your friend, breakfast will have to take a backseat. Before you head out the door you grab your keys and your tote and pray that whatever higher power is fucking with you has had its fill. But that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?

You hop in your car and start it up. No. And start it up. Oh God no. Third time's the charm and…

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” You wail.

The panic is setting in now. You can feel bile gurgling in your stomach and trying to claw its way up into your throat. This sort of thing usually wouldn’t bother you this much, but coupled with all the bullshit from this morning, you were at your wits end. Before anxiety completely envelops you, you pull out your phone to call Benny and explain the situation.

“Oh shit, are you alright?”

“Physically? Yes. Mentally? Ask me tomorrow.”

“At least your sense of humor is still intact,” He offers. “Don’t worry about coming in today. I had to learn how to hold it down before I hired you so I’m not worried about that. Just take today to figure out what’s wrong with your car and keep me posted. Maybe you can give Catfish a ring? He works at an auto body shop that shouldn’t be too far from you.”

“I can’t thank you enough, Benny. Yeah, he mentioned that. I’ll call him and then let you know what happens. Talk to you later!”

You toss your phone into your passenger seat and rest your head on your steering wheel. The panic you were feeling has subsided now due to a solution presenting itself, but nervousness began to blossom in its place when that solution turned out to be Frankie. The first time you called him isn’t supposed to be like this. You aren’t really sure how you wanted the first time to go, but you definitely wanted to have a better reason to talk than your fucked up car. A buzzing sound next to you announces the arrival of a text. You take a deep, centering breath and lift your head up before grabbing your phone. It’s Benny sending you the address of Frankie’s shop. You click the link and it takes you to your phone's map. It really isn’t too far from you; only 10 minutes down the road.

You pull up Frankie’s contact, but hesitate before you press it. A small twinge of guilt rolls through you as you surrender to the idea of calling another man for help with a job that has always been done by your father. The one thing he loved more than looking at cars was fixing them up. He had made you watch him work all through your childhood, so you knew how to change your tire, your oil, and both your head and tail lights. This felt like a betrayal when, in reality, it wasn’t. There wasn’t anything he could do in his current situation to help you. And telling him what was going on would only hurt him as he would inevitably come to the same conclusion you did. With your guilt temporarily satiated, you call Frankie.

He must have been concerned when he saw that it was you calling because he answers on the second ring and his voice is higher pitched than normal. “Hello?”

“Hey, Frankie it's me. Well obviously you know it's me. I’m sure you have caller ID. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, but I think I need to cash in on that car help you offered earlier.”

“Are you safe? What happened?” His tone is panicky.

“Yes. I’m completely safe.” You hear him sigh quietly on the other end of the phone. “My car just won’t start and I can’t figure out what's wrong with it. I didn’t leave any lights on last night, my gas tank is half full, and, for once in my life, my check engine light isn’t on.”

“I like your little run down, but it's going to be hard for me to figure out what's wrong with it until I actually see the vehicle in person. Tell you what, I’ll drive out to see you right now and have one of my guys bring out a tow truck to pick it up.”

“Wait no you don’t have to do that! I don’t want to make you leave work over something silly like this. I can just wait until the tow truck gets here and takes me to the shop.”

“And I don’t want you to have to deal with this alone, silly or not, got it?”

“Got it.”

You’re sitting on the curb to the left of your car when you see Frankie pull into the parking lot with his white pickup. He waves at you through his windshield as he parks in the open spot to the right of your car. You figure that it's now or never and dust yourself off as you walk over to his driver's side.

“So, are you going to be able to fix him?”

“Him?” He says skeptically, stepping out of his truck.

“My car? He’s a boy?”

“You know most people refer to vehicles as women, but you know what, to each their own.” He looks over the hood of his truck at your car. “My apologies sir. I’ll do everything in my power to get you up and running again.”

Frankie has you pop your hood while he goes back and pops his own and grabs jumper cables from the backseat. Although you offer to help him, he insists that you relax while does it himself. The way he says it makes you feel cared for rather than pushed to the side because he doesn’t believe that you’re capable. He is able to jumpstart your car, but each time the engine dies after idling for a few minutes. When he realizes that no matter how many times he tries to jump it the engine won’t stay on he unhooks the cables and puts them away.

“See anything?”

He’s taking a closer look at everything that's under your hood. The gray shirt he's wearing is doing a beautiful job of showing off how defined his arms really are. The cotton material stretches over his bicep as he moves his arm to reach something. It dawns on you that he rarely wears shirts, or clothes in general, that allow his body to be visible. Your heart aches when you think about him feeling insecure as he stands next to the other men. Even though you haven’t seen them without their clothes off, Benny excluded, you can tell how toned each of them are. You wish you could tell him that it doesn’t matter to you. You wish you could tell him that the way his stomach is currently peeking out from under his shirt is incredibly sexy to you. There’s nothing you would change about him because if you did there would be less of him for you to look at.

“Everything looks good up here.” He sighs tiredly and shuts your hood. “The issue must be your undercarriage.”

“My what?”

“Your car’s undercarriage!” He couldn’t have spit those words out faster. “I’m sure there isn’t anything wrong w-with your undercarriage.”

“Frankie, I’m just messing with you.” Your hand comes to rest on his arm as you laugh. “I knew what you meant.”

The Florida sun did a good job of blurring the line between him blushing and him standing out in the heat for too long.

“Hey, do you want some water? It’s the least I could do since you’re helping me out so much.”

“It’s really no big deal.” He reassures you. “But water would be great.”

You turn and start heading to the staircase that leads to the second floor of your apartment complex. You make it up about three steps before you realize that Frankie isn’t following you.

“I thought you wanted water?” You ask turning to face him.

“In your apartment?”

“Last I checked, that's where I keep it? Come on, Frankie, I’m not gonna bite you.”

With a small smile from him, you face back around and continue to make your way up the stairs. When you reach your door you suddenly become self conscious about the way your apartment is set up. You haven’t had the time to decorate since you got here and the lack of personal touches in your apartment made that painfully obvious.

“Sorry my place is a little bland.” You open the door and lead him inside to the kitchen. “I want to get some art for my walls so the place can really be brought together. It’s a little dumb though since I’m only here temporarily.”

“I don’t think it’s dumb, but I like the way it feels in here.”

“Oh yeah?” You pull the brita out of your fridge and set it down on the counter. “What does it feel like?”

He sees you reaching out for the cabinet that's next to him. He turns around to open it and hands you two cups without missing a beat in the conversation. “It’s kinda hard to explain. Maybe the best word I can use to describe it is…homey? I know you said you wanted more things in here, but I don’t really think items make a place feel like a home.”

“That’s way existential, Frankie.” You look up at him while filling each of y’alls glasses. “But, that does mean a lot since you’re my first guest.”

“Fuck off, no I’m not.” He says grabbing his drink.

You nod in confirmation while you take a sip of your water.

“What about your dad?”

“I actually go visit him. He’s in a retirement home, his own choice, but he had a stroke a little less than a month ago. It was bad enough to have him start physical therapy so he could retrain the muscles in his legs.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Fortunately, he’s doing better. He’s a stubborn old bastard that's for sure.”

“That’s good,” He holds out his glass to you. “Cheers to your dad and cheers for me being your first house guest.”

As you clink your glasses together you realize how much better the place feels with Frankie’s presence. The walls don’t look as bare. The sink's constant drip isn’t as loud. And the sunlight shines a little brighter through your perpetually cloudy glass windows.

“The place isn’t all bland.” He motions to the vase full of white lilies sitting on your small kitchen table. “Those are nice.”

“They didn’t have my favorite ones at the store when I went a few days ago,” you say as you walk over to smell them. “But aren’t these just beautiful?”

“Yes. Absolutely beautiful.”

Soft brown eyes meet yours when you shift your body to face him again. You can’t help but feel flustered under his intoxicating gaze.

“What?” There was no sun to explain away the heat radiating off your cheeks now.

“You have some pollen on your nose.” He takes his finger and points to his own. “Just there.”

“Aw fuck.” You rub off your nose as quickly as you can. Embarrassment courses through your veins as Frankie stays quiet and simply watches you. “Did I get it all?”

Pink lips part into a smile as he shakes his head at you. “It might be easier if I get it for you. Is that okay?”

“Y-yes.”

He sets his cup down on the counter behind him and starts walking the few feet over to you. As he closes the gap between y'all, he rubs his hands down the sides of his jeans. He looks so much taller when he’s this close. You try to focus on controlling your breathing as he raises his hand and lets it hover over your nose. As soon as he brushes the skin, your eyes flutter close at the sensation. His calloused hands caress you so delicately that you feel as if you are made of the finest of china. You only open them when you feel his touch leave your body. He’s staring down at you with pupils blown out.

“Is it-is it all gone?” You don’t know why you're whispering when he's standing right in front of you.

“You’re pollen free.” He whispers back.

Neither of you make a move to escape the close proximity. You watch his eyes slowly travel from your own eyes to your lip and back up again. You hope he can see by the way you’re looking at him that you’re begging for him to touch you, to kiss you. He takes a half step closer. His hand brushes against yours down at your side.

Honk! Honk! Honk!

Frankie closes his eyes like he's in agonizing pain and steps back from you. “I think your car’s ride is here.”

“Well umm,” You clear your throat. “I guess we shouldn’t keep your coworker waiting, huh?”

***

“So we got some bad news and we got some good news. The bad news is that it looks like one of your cylinders misfired and it’s going to be out of commission until it can be fixed. The good news is that we are having a slow day today so it should be fixed by this afternoon.”

“I really wish you would have led with the good news.”

“Where's the suspense in that?”

“Thank you again for helping me with this, Frankie.” The two of you exit the shop and stand in front of his truck. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Probably would have called some other loser who works in an auto body shop.” He shrugs.

“You’re not a loser.” You wrap your arms around your body. “At least not to me.”

“I uhh-thank you for saying that.”

You return his shrug with a soft smile.

“Did you want me too-umm-drop you off at the gym?” He checks his watch. “You’ve only missed about an hour and a half of your day.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Benny said I could take the day when I talked to him about what was going on this morning. I’ll probably uber home and find something to occupy myself with until my car is ready.”

Your stomach choses now to loudly make its presence known.

Frankie raises one of his eyebrows at you. “Have you eaten today?”

“I was planning on it, but then the universe decided that it wasn’t in the cards for me.”

“Want to go get breakfast? With me? I could eat.”

“As lovely as that sounds, I’ve already taken up so much of your time already! I don’t want to get you in trouble at work!”

“Oh, come on. Playing hooky isn’t fun when you do it by yourself. Plus, I’ve got some vacation time racked up that I can use for today

You knew your answer even before you spoke it. The opportunity to spend more time with him is one you would have to be crazy to pass up. It may not be a date, but it was a start. And everything has to start somewhere.

“Fine, but you’re driving.”

***

“Please tell me you didn’t call us here to help you close up, Benny.”

It was unusually quiet in the gym today. It wasn’t the lack of grunting from the weight lifters, or the obnoxious sounds coming from the washing machine, or even the chatter of patrons in between their boxing rounds. It was the lack of you. Benny thought that he could handle it just like before, but he was wrong. He found himself wandering up to the front desk to share each and every miniscule thought that popped into his head only to find it empty time and time again. You had completely enmeshed yourself into his daily routine and he didn’t notice until now. It seemed that even the guests noticed your absence. He found himself getting asked where you were or when you would be coming back. You did so much around the gym that he didn’t even realize and he cursed himself for taking you for granted. The next time you had car trouble he swore he would pick you up himself because he could do this alone. He couldn’t do this without his friend. But, that isn’t why he called them in.

“Yeah, what gives?” Pope adds to Will’s previous statement. “And where’s our girl?”

“Number one: no I didn’t call y’all to help me close. Number two: I gave her the day off because she was having car trouble and wouldn’t be able to make it in.”

It takes him assuring his friends multiple times and showing them your update texts for them to stop worrying about you.

“Alright that explains her, but where's Catfish?” Will presses.

Benny sighs deeply and walks around to sit in your empty chair. He closes his eyes and leans his head back before he answers his brother.

“He’s actually the reason why I called y’all over. I found out that he’s been talking to Rochelle again.”

“As much as we don’t fuckin’ like it, we knew that she texted him about getting back together.”

“You were there that night. This is old news.” Pope sounds annoyed, but Benny can’t track if it's aimed at him specifically or at the contents of the conversation.

“He’s been talking on the phone with her. I feel like thats a bit more serious than a fuckin’ text, Pope.”

Benny’s quick retort is enough to silence him, but Will starts panicking. An emotion that is just as foreign for him to feel as it is to see him display.

“No fuckin’ way, man. No fuckin’ way he would do that.”

“That’s what I thought too, but she overheard him talking with Rochelle when she saw him out a few weeks back. Why would she lie about that? She had no knowledge of Rochelle before then.”

“Fuck! FUCK!”

Will fists his hands behind his head and starts pacing around the gym lobby. The two other men can only stare as they watch him slowly unravel before their eyes. Pope was, and still is, Frankie’s best friend, but Will was the most affected by what happened. It’s his job to scrape vets off the street when they come back after tours, legal or not, and get them the help they need. What kind of man, what kind of friend is he that he let one of his own slip through his fingers? When the metaphorical shoe finally dropped and Frankie got busted, as much as Will wanted to say ‘I told you so’, he just held his hand through recovery. The feeling of being right was only second to seeing his friend get better. It took every ounce of strength Will, Pope, and Benny had to drag Frankie back into reality. Now that he is teetering on the edge again, Will is terrified that he doesn’t have enough left in him to save Frankie. Pope cuts in to attempt to stop Benny from causing Will to have another Publix level freakout.

“What exactly did she hear?”

“She just said that he got a phone call and he immediately tensed up when he saw who was calling. Then, when he answered, he said her name.”

“Let’s not lose our heads, boys.” Pope turns toward Will who is still pacing. “We don’t know the context of the phone call, alright? Rochelle was the one that called him, not the other way around.”

“Does it matter?! She like a fuckin’ drug to him!”

“You’re not fucking helping, Benny.” Pope seethes.

Will regains some control over his emotions and pilots himself over to the front desk.

“Pope is right. We don’t have all the facts yet.” He lets out a weighted sigh and white knuckles the edge of the desk. “Let’s just keep an eye on him and this situation until we know, for sure, what’s really goin’ on.”

The suffocating tension in the room is shattered when Benny’s phone chimes with a text.

You: My car is as good as new! Frankie and I even stopped to get some new air freshener scents for you to test out for the gym! See you tomorrow (:

“Ho-ly shit.” Benny lets out a low whistle.

“What?” The two other men speak in unison.

Benny just laughs to himself as he tosses Will the phone.

“Well would you look at that?” Will echoes his brother's tune.

“Let me see that, huh?” Pope snatches the phone and reads the message you sent. “So that's why that pendejo hasn’t been answering my texts all damn day. He’s with her!”

“That sneaky bastard!” Benny laughs. “Yall think he likes her? He’s got to, right?”

“You really should get someone else to fill in for you at the fights every now and then.” Will snickers, all tension gone from his body. “Of course he likes her. He told us last Friday.”

“I miss everything! Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He complains.

“Nevermind that.” Pope says as he returns the phone. “She might be the solution to our problem.”

How’d you reckon?” Will inquires.

“If we can get them together, there won’t be any room for Rochelle.”

“We aren’t pimpin’ her out, Pope. That’s fucked up.”

“No, no.” He shakes his head. “We aren’t pimping her out, dumbass. Not if she likes him back that is. I mean, come on, you saw the way she was looking at him when they shared that beer the other night.”

“They shared a beer?!”

“Not now, Benny.” Will hushes. “Damn straight I saw that.”

Pope turns to Benny who still looks in shock because of what he just learned.

“Can you do us a favor?”

“Anything if it means getting Rochelle out of the picture. Again.”

“Good man. Now we need you to keep your ears open for anything she says about Fish. We need to know where she stands before we do this and you’re the one that sees her everyday.”

“Hell yeah! I’m gonna be all over her!”

“Don’t be weird, Ben.” Will groan.

“Then it’s settled. When we figure out if she likes him or not…operation ‘catch-a-fish’ is a go.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

{tag list: @cutesyscreenname @rsquared31 @smol-beb @bitchwitch1981 @avastrasposts @hoeslingz @saltybutteredtoast @javicstories @c-justhere @pimosworld @modernperplexity @beboldbebravethings @modernperplexity @mxtokko @moonliqhtszn @tanzthompson @megcads @myloveistoolittle @casa-boiardi @jitterbugs927 @partyofone3413 }

#francisco morales #frankie morales #catfish #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #benny miller #will miller #ironhead #santiago garcia #pope #through the scope #read on a03

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rabarbarzcukrem · 4 months

Text

So... I've finally watched the first Utena musical

The whole cast singing the lines of the prince in masks without him appearing himself...do you get it... he's an idea...he doesn't exist... He's just a concept from a fairytale repeated by everyone...

Utena's deep voice <333

"What's so special about this letter?" said to Wakaba...

Saionji is so dramatic I love it

I don't like the fact that Utena's uniform clearly has a different shape to the shape of the ones worn by guys. It was like that in the anime too, but in real life it looks weird, like it's too small for the actress. Otherwise the costumes are amazing tho

Zettai unmei mokushiroku was used so well... Compared to the first few songs it's very sudden and intense, very fitting for the first scene in which Utena enters the dueling arena

The way everyone moves is so in character, Anthy picking up her dress when she walks (like a princess), Touga constantly with hands in his pockets (laid-back and indifferent), Juri with arms crossed (shielding herself), Utena's strong butch energy

I love how they did the sword of Dios thing

Wtf is this disco song??? It's so random and out of nowhere...Wait. Is it this musical's equivalent of the anime intro?? That's so smart...

The song slaps actually

OF COURSE the EGG SPEECH is a SONG

Anthy's voice is so pretty I'm gonna cry

Utena immediately calling Anthy her friend, even though she doesn't know her...she is so full of love to give and so starved for close human connection.... (how very middle school of her too). I can't look at this scene without thinking about what's to come.. "you showed me a taste of true friendship"...

"Are you (anthy and touga) close?" Oooh boy

Nanami is perfect...Her song with Miki on the keys lmao. Wakaba constantly in the background... foreshadowing??

There are like. 5 different scenes happening at once

Utena and Wakaba's friendship contrasted with Touga and Saionji's broken one...damn...

"I measure the time I spend hating the student council" LMAOOO

Anthy's creepy laugh... Actually this is a good visual way to show how weird she appears to the other characters and make sure the audience associates this uneasy feeling with her

Juri standing on the chair lol. The humor in this version makes it so clear that those are highschool students

And I adore the meta jokes about weird shit going on in the background during the council meetings and no one really knowing what the stop watch does

I noticed that Juri touches her hair whenever she's vulnerable. Nice detail

Juri angst...ouch...

Why is the sword of Dios so big tho

"The sword Juri sent flying through the air came down to shatter her own rose...was the floor of the arena the only thing it pierced?" OW OW OW

THIS SCENE BROKE ME

Saionji calling Touga "motherfucker" I'm dead

Different girls playing Utena in the coffin, covering their faces with the doll...

AND THEN DUELISTS JOINING TO SING UTENA'S LINES THAT SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE THE COFFIN. WITH ANTHY AT THE END. GENIUS

The cooking song is so cute and catchy

UTENA SPITTING AT SAIONJI I'M LOVING THIS

Saionji joining the shadow girls...this is hilarious

I love the desperate song of Wakaba inspiring Utena to take back who she was. And her being the only one to say that the girl's outfit doesn't suit Utena... But as soon as her role of inspiring the main character is fulfilled, the curtain falls and only Utena is left on stage.

...Surely....

The ending was amazing..

All in all I'm convinced that a stage play of Utena is the best type of adaptation that could ever be made. The anime already had allusions to theatre and stages so it works perfectly.

#I can't wait to watch the second one #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #moje

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arandomnerd810 · 10 days

Text

TADC trailer analysis hehehehehehehehehehhehe

first off Pomni’s arm???

and being in a void thing similar to the place the abstracted monsters are?

most likely a dream but let’s humor this and have fun

if it’s the abstracted glitch and real

i don’t think she will abstract in the first ep especially since this probably isn’t her focus episode, she just got here and Kinger is still alive and they wouldn’t spoil something like this in the trailer sooo maybe just going down to the cellar thing causes abstraction but she get out eventually physically unharmed probably from Caine grabbing her

if it’s not

maybe she just fell in the monsters mouth from it eating the truck as seen in another scene and this is a diffrent kind of glitch that too lmaooo

now for the frame everyone’s talking about

bro saw candy corn /j /ref but fr Jaaaax? you ok there buddy?

i thought this would be a ragatha focus but maybe i’m wrong and it’s a Jax one i’m just as happy either way though lolll

Pomniiii? you ok there buddy?

i need to know what she’s looking at n o w

Gummy guy? you good?

Caine photo break cause i love him so much also transition to less lore related stuff

anyways Pomni doesn’t look like she’s on the truck as it’s going down the monsters mouth but it looks like she got on top of the truck and i just noticed this looking for Caine photos

so either she fell down first or she wasn’t on the truck at all

the characters can clip though things too owch

happy gangle let’s goooo

and she survives getting to the adventure

but sadly not for very long loll

bro who blew up lmaooo

she got a key

cocaine theory (what i call crack theories that make it very obvious caine is my special interest and i want to learn everything about him i can and i want confirmation on if we will get caine angst or not) time wooo

he seems pretty antsy to get them in maybe smth happened and he’s trying to hide something up again idk tho still it’s likely he is just being energetic as usual Ragatha seems surprised though so who knows

#glitch productions #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc episode 2 #tadc pomni #tadc jax

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beautifulpersonpeach · 5 hours

Note

Not gonna lie, this whole thing really sucks. I think I wrote a message awhile back about the very cool feminist angle of the Plus Global Auditions Invitation video, I'm an SNL Army and was new to watching kpop very closely and was so sold by that video. I thought - 'this company is really different.' Going public with a company f*cks a lot of things up, it happens all so often, and often it's the people and the ethos that gets messed up the most. It's frustrating to see this devolution. Because I was really excited by what MHJ was being given space to do at BH/Hybe. Though, as a fellow art school student, I am shaking my head and serious side-eyes at how she says things like 'I'm an artist, I don't know how to read contracts' (obviously I'm paraphrasing) - it's clear Hybe knows she's got the goods but she's not playing by their game anymore. The response and flood of crazy comments and hate at BTS is frustrating but expected, but just such a waste of time all the same. I've also never thought BH and then Hybe were super super smart and long-gaming everything (don't come for me Bangtan U fans) I think they were lucky and scrappy and skillful and making cool things happen moment to moment. Later on they got better at the strategic planning, sure. I don't know. They may need a good kick in the pants to remember that's what makes them great at what they do. But still, I hate the idea of MHJ being cooked even if she seems like a real pain in the tush to work with. Because technically, she's what got me to really buy-in to what BTS & BH were doing in the first place.

***

Yeah, it's a shitty situation.

To be fair, I think at the start, Bang PD was trying to do something different and 'forward-thinking' with HYBE. He sought out good talent going by the hires he did in 2019/2020, managing to onboard creatives like Min Heejin and Zico. Zico already incorporated his company to manage himself before Bang PD approached him, which is probably why he owns ~24.5% of KOZ - his sub-label in HYBE.

But with Min Heejin...

She had partnered with 250 - a popular DJ in Korea and NewJeans' main producer, since she left SM in 2018. He runs BANA (a creative collective) but she'd wanted her own label since the start.

Bang PD knew this, and wanted her for HYBE, so it's likely he made all sorts of promises to get her on board without awarding her a single share. Almost as soon as key creative decisions had to be made post-Global Plus audition, they both clashed, but HYBE as a company was less than 1 year old and it appears Bang PD and MHJ still had good relations... which was kinda easy since he still needed her creative output and wanted to see what she could do. So they let her make her own label: ADOR, and keep NewJeans even though according to Min Heejin, HYBE executives and Bang PD thought her concept and style of music for them would be impossible to sell to k-pop stans.

They expected NewJeans to fail or flounder. Instead, by 2023 NewJeans had become one of the top 5 most valuable k-pop IPs in Korea. If my guess is right, by that point she had no shares in ADOR, no agreement with HYBE's indefinite non-compete clause. She could walk anytime and I'm sure a lot of people wanted her.

Then HYBE approached Min Heejin with the shareholder contract to give her 20% of the company. It's a classic 'carrot and stick'. The carrot was easy to see. Apparently offered her the shares at a very low price, apparently Bang PD even lent her the money to buy it, for a valuation that HYBE considered more than generous, he was in her KakaoTalk chats buttering her up with those godawful emojis lmaooo. He was selling that shit hard. The stick in the contract was the poison pill which essentially tied her to HYBE for as long as they want her.

Perhaps she was aware of the pill and signed any way because at that point they still had good relations with Bang PD and HYBE in general. But according to her, Bang PD kept wanting more control over NewJeans the more successful the group became. Realizing she had to do something about the poison pill, she sought to negotiate, and as is typical in these sort of situations, you fight greed with more greed.

Asking to bump up the multiple on the options from 13x to 30x is frankly ridiculous. For a male CEO I can see it being considered... maybe, but for a woman? In Korea?

I'm sure when the other suits at HYBE heard that's what she was asking, at least one of them almost had a stroke. The logic is simple though: start crazy high and end.. just high. If HYBE was looking to exert more control over NewJeans (for example, every sub-label and group in HYBE changed to using 'bio-paper and ink' for their albums starting in 2023, to help HYBE meet their ESG targets. The only company that's not made the switch yet, is ADOR. Given how carefully MHJ controls branding and album design for NewJeans, I can see this minute detail being a massive thorn lol)... anyway, if HYBE was indeed looking to gain more control, the fact that they'd have to pay 30x if MHJ exercised her options on a whim, would serve as a very strong deterrent.

Given what I understand Korean corporate culture to be like, I doubt she had any friends in upper management to start, but with a demand like that, practically all of them would turn enemies in a heartbeat. It's the sheer audacity lmao. My guess is she would've eventually negotiated down, at least once she was assured real creative independence from Bang PD. But at some point, rather, quite predictably given this is corporate Korea, the need for control and the egos involved decided she had to be cut loose now and perhaps taught to not bite the hand that feeds her.

It's not a sentiment limited to the suits at HYBE. It's followed her since SM and the general public would hate it too, which is one reason I think it's only a matter of time before the narrative switches again to HYBE's favour. I promise you, most regular men in Korea would go red in the face, eyes bulging out their heads, drool and spit shooting out like projectiles, at the thought she would dare to demand such a thing. And in a way they'd be right. It's an insane amount of money for female creative in Korea, but I think given everything else, it also seems like a gamble she was taking as a means to an end. A simple negotiating tactic, given what she keeps highlighting as her main goal - unimpeded and full creative and managerial control.

Bang PD wants to build a 'forward-thinking' company comparable to Western conglomerate juggernauts like SONY and Warner Music, but I don't think these Korean men have the chops to do it right, just yet. I've had that impression of Bang PD for a few years now. He's been getting results, but they are inconsistent and he's got the biggest 'surety' in a sense with BTS, so he's been fine, and will continue to be fine for a few more years at least. But if they are messing up this spectacularly with their first female executive and one of their most valuable IPs, over... an options price negotiation?

And they want to pretend to be better than any other corp in Korea?

Lol.

Anyhoo.

I sympathize a bit with how you feel, but as a Korean woman, I guess I'm numb to it. There's a reason I've never chosen to work in that country, there's a reason why the birth rate is nearing the negatives. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry you're seeing a prior expectation you had getting blown up this way. And this latest hatefest on BTS has been quite ugly and isn't near done yet. This whole situation is gross, and even more so when the motivations behind it are so... banal and backwards.

But these are undercurrents that are too simple and boring for the average stan. Burning the witch who is responsible for masterminding the demise of a virtuous group is far more exciting. And so that's how the story will go.

I just hope that by some miracle, NewJeans turns out okay and manages to thrive after this. Because in all of this mess, they will deal with the implications the most and for the longest time.

#newjeans #ador #min heejin #bang pd #hybe #kpop

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ninjamelissajulien · 25 days

Text

DR2 notes

- ok teen riyu super cut

Pixal mentioned!!!!

Lloyd that’s ptsd

Kai my beloved

I love Kreel ngl

Inch resting with Cinder. Didn’t think I’d like him

Fugidove VA I can tell

Cinder fuckin don’t break their backs dear god

Master of smoke… what happened to ash???

EUPHRASIA

bagels are always good

Morro theme

I love the new intro

New colors for imperium outfits

NYAAAAAAAAAA

What is with people trying to make Lloyd eat rancid things

Also panic attacks canon with Lloyd and Zane

Are we not gonna mention Ash???

I love Sora so much

Can we fucking chill with the TEAPOTS PLEASE

Arin is such a scrunkly

Uh oh. I bet this is gonna go after Jay - shattering the goodness inside him.

I love euphrasia so much

CINDER FUCKING CHILL JESUS CHRIST

Ohhh the worm curse I forgot about that

Element masters but evil… force from the East banished them…

I do love that the new ninja are 3 girls 1 boy

Jordana I fucking love you

Aww Nya comforting Lloyd

Ash mention how the fuck did Kai beat Cinder so fast wtf I blinked and he was down

Ok I have to say the fighting is beyond amazing, but also holy shit shatter spin is terrifying and also Zane is fucjin dead rip

The sound that cinder makes with each hit is the gong sounds

They keep zooming in on one of the wolf warriors- also are they real people or the masks manifested

THEY FUCKING LEFT EUPHRASIA BEHIND

Life. That’s the dragon that claimed Lloyd. Lloyd’s element is Life.

The imperium source was Energy. Another is strength. Motion. The other 3 aren’t mentioned.

I love you Kai. So much. I’d kill for you.

Protective Kai for Wyldfire also Zane why are you staying behind

Jordana vs Cinder is fucjing funny

OK GOODBYE RANDOM PIECE OF CLOUD KINGDOM

RGB siblings real

WYLDFIRE you crazy son of a bitgh

God the animation is GORGEOUS

LMAOOO KAI YOURE THE ONE TO TALK

CAN THINGS NOT ATTACK NYA PLS

Leviathan theme

God Arin and Sora are brotp

Damn jays voice is deeper

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Jesus fucking Christ “the real Jay would never forget me” they’re going for that aren’t they

What was Kai’s - was it seabound

Of course Kai would jump first since Cole isn’t there

Me: ok I need to pause to go to the bathroom I’ll pause at the beginning of 4

The beginning of 4:

These bitches gay good for them good for them

WHAT DO YOU MEAN COLE WAS THE CHEF DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THE FIASCO OF COLES CHILI

Yep that’s Cole’s kid

God I love the sound of Nya’s element

Rontu I love you

BE NICE TO GEO

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO COLE TO THE RESCUE

Cole I love you so much

Forces from the East meet the Journey to the West

Coles powers are stronger

Bonzle is the key… maybe the undead open the gateway

What was last time???

SCRATCHED THE SURFACE???? TRUE POTENTIAL AIRJITZU TORNADO OF CREATION DRAGON FORMS????

THE PLUSH 😭

COLES BACK

please I’m begging you do we get a whole fucking episode about the backstory of the plush because u want that so badly

W… what… bonzle that’s a lot to just casually drop on someone

I love Bonzle’s voice.

Fuck yeah new story animation I love these (genuine!) also sorceress comes in later

A place more permanent than the realm of the departed… interesting

Cole holding Geos hand I saw that you gay cutie

No. Fucking. Way.

Rontu you amazing beast

Motion was one of the source dragons

God if that is Andrew as Egalt he’s fucking fantastic

Garmadon mentioned!!!!!!!!! SPINJITZU BROS MENTION

the ninja cured his loneliness 💔

MY FUCJING HEART BONZLE WHAT THE FUCJ

Wyldfire I love you you dumb bitgh

My favorite gif of the high five

ARIN 😭

THESE BITCHES GAY

aww Zane 🥹

What the fuck Ras is tripping

SACRIFICE???? JESUS ITS DARK

These worried parents

JIRO

THE SIBS

DETECTIVE FUCKING ZANE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

The rocky dangerbuff mustache

Do it wyldfire

CMON ARIN. NOT LIKE THAT

NO MOTHERFUCKER NOT YOU

Mention Lou I’m begging you

Or Marty Oppenheimer

“I was never the performer in my family.” Me: I… I mean… Lou… but the triple tiger sashay…

Have I mentioned the animation because Jesus it’s so good

The monastery?

Also I’ve noticed I haven’t heard any sound effects from Kirby yet which is interesting. Not bad by any means, but interesting. It’s nice that Andrew’s Cole is becoming his own 💙

Cole why are you staring at the wall oh

“Totally annoying and I was completely blameless” sure Cole sure also interesting that this is now the SECOND time Jay has been mentioned

Chen’s noodle house mention

3 mentions

I don’t know who you are but I love you you queer queen also sprite???

Aww wyldfire

Bonzle 😭😭😭

Uh oh who’s knocking THESE FUCKERS AGAIN????

Zane you handsome dumbass I love you

AAAAAAAAAAA MY GUCJING HHEHEJEKFHFJKJWAAAAAAAAA

KAI YOU MAGNIFICENT MOTHER FUCKER

Uh oh

That happened fast

WHAT OK THE FUCK NO EXPLANATION

Damn nindroid-phobic where the fuck is Jay

Zane I love you

Me: where the fuck is Jay *two seconds later* THERES THE MOTHERFUCKER

wait the shatter spin JAY GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

EIGHT EPS FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER

Ok so amnesia yes but admin jay not too long lmao just bring up Nya

Are we not going to mention Nindroids

Hey can we get to Jay????

/ZANW don’t ZANE HESUS CHRUST DINT SCARE ME LIKE THAT

Jay???? Jay????? HELLO JAY????? JAY?????????? WE JUST NIT GINNA JAY??????

I forgot about Jordana lmaooooo

Oh yeah I forgot Cinder lmaooooooooooo

Wow the super old “using jay’s voice for Kai as a whimper” sound

Are we still not bringing up Jay

BONZLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oooh flashback

Boy Euphrasia really got sidelined didn’t she

So we really aren’t going for Jay aren’t we

Who is this Janet????

GO RIYU GOOOOOOOOO

Arin and his seatbelt

You motherfuckers STOP WITH THE GODDAMN TEAPOT

Cole Rottweiler confirmed

TAKE OFF THE MASKS. TAKE. OFF THE. MASKS. TAKE THEM OFF

Euphrasia!!!!!!!!!

Take. Off. The. Masks. Now.

Uh oh ARIN

Don’t you fucking dare tempt arin

I TOLD YOY TO TAKE THEM OFF

WHY IS IT ALWAYS KAI WHY ALWAYS KAI SOMEONE RESXUE KAI PLEASE MY SCRIMLY

GO NYA GO

I will kill myself if something happens to Kai

They better not

I will do it

I’m not on my meds

Where

Nokt

Hello

Kai

Hello

Kai

I’m suing.

#ninjago #Ninjago spoilers #Ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers

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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

Text

Endorphins (Part 3)

Pairing: Reader/Billy Russo

Warnings: cursing, angst, pain, the usual dark shit. I don't wanna tag it too like specifically to keep the suspense alive lmao the usual Punisher type of bullshit. It’s nothing you haven’t read before if you’ve read my other angsty shit.

A/N: Soooo this was a request but it turned into multiple parts because I got carried away. And I don't wanna put the request on here like I usually do because of spoilers lmaooo

But to answer the rest of your ask anon, I know, I was away awhile. Life hasn’t been kind to me and then I ended up knee-deep in another fandom lmao But I’m back babeeeyyyy!! ;)

Also, the name of this series is from a Don Broco song with the same name. If you don’t know who they are, check them out. They’re my fav band and I love them.

I got endorphins running through my veins

I got endorphins keeping me awake

No, I can't help making big mistakes

I gotta give it up up, give it up

I got endorphins running through my veins

I got endorphins keeping me awake

But I can't help make 'em anyway

I gotta give it up up, give it up

—-----

It was a few days after Billy had been shot and you’d been secretly contacting landlords. You knew Billy wouldn't be happy about it but he seemed in no rush to get you to leave and it was getting hard to be around him so much after what happened. So far though, there hadn’t been anything good you felt comfortable with taking. You might have been in a rush, but you weren’t about to just take any place. You wanted it to be right. You slipped into Billy’s office after knocking and getting no answer. You knew he wouldn't mind you being in his office on your own, you’d done it plenty of times by now. All you needed was a file for the meeting the next day. You wanted to go over it to make sure you had all your ducks in a row. You were planning on taking it back with you to study over night. You tried the filing cabinet but it was locked so you moved over to Billy’s desk. You knew the key was around there somewhere. You cursed yourself for losing yours. With no sign of it on his desk, you opened one of his drawers. But your hunt for the key was long forgotten as you saw a case file with your name on it.

You blinked at it for a moment before glancing to the door and then back to the file. You weren't sure why you had a file or why it was in here. Maybe it was a personnel file. You shrugged, grabbing it, figuring you'd put it back in the filing cabinet. Curiosity bit at you though. You wondered what was in there. It felt pretty thick. You wouldn't look though, it wasn't in your job to look and it would break Billy’s trust. So once you found the key to the filing cabinet, you made your way back over. As the drawer jostled open, the file slipped from your hands and pictures scattered on the floor. Your blood ran cold when you saw them. They were pictures of you. You crouched quickly, flipping through the mountain of pictures as your heart picked up uncomfortably. They looked like surveillance pictures or something. You getting groceries, you walking home, you doing everyday things. And worst of all, they weren't all recent. Some were from the year before and some from the year before that. Ones of you coming out of your old job, some with your colleagues. There were pictures of you outside of your apartment and even a few of you in your apartment window on the phone. You felt sick. You moved the pictures out of the way to the pile of papers behind of them. Medical records. There was the record of you going to the hospital after Billy insisted that you be checked out when you were mugged. One from when you broke your arm two years ago after taking a tumble at work. How the hell did he get these? They were confidential. The paper after that had your body seize up. It was some kind of police record. The mugshot staring at you was the man who mugged you. Leonard Yates. He’d been arrested for multiple things and his release date from prison had been the day before you’d gotten mugged. Your head was spinning as you tried to understand what you were looking at. It didn't make sense for Billy to have these things. This wasn’t normal things to have on your employees. Or your best friend. These were surveillance pictures and personal and confidential information. Things he shouldn't have. And who the hell had taken these pictures? You thought you’d gotten to know Billy pretty well over your time here at Anvil, especially staying with him. But looking at this now, you felt like you didn't know him at all and it terrified you. You’d spent so much time with him, bonded so much. And yet, he had all of these weird things stored in his desk the whole time.

You heard the door and panicked, scooping the contents back in the file and standing up so fast your head spun. You clutched the file to your chest, keeping your name facing you as Billy walked in.

“Hey, you need somethin’?” he asked, closing the door behind him. You tried to calm yourself. You didn’t want to confront him, you were far too scared and confused right now. You just wanted to leave. You didn't want him to know anything was wrong. Your brain was having a hard time adjusting to what you’d found and that it was your Billy that had this stuff. If it was just the papers and not the pictures, you might have asked him about it. You normally felt comfortable enough with him, trusted him with your life. But after seeing all of those pictures, you felt uncomfortable. A dread prickling at you that screamed at you to run. For the first time, you didn't trust him at all.

“I just needed the file on McDaniels. Thought I’d take it with me tonight and read up,” you smiled, willing your heart to calm down before it beat out of your chest. Billy nodded, eyes going to the filing cabinet, his desk and then the file in your hands in quick succession and you felt unable to breathe.

“You find it alright?” he asked. He didn't sound like he suspected anything and you let out a shaky breath as you nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll leave you to it,” you smiled, rushing past him and to the door. Just as you had it open slightly, his hand was on it slamming it shut. You whimpered, body seizing up as he stood over your shoulder, strong arm keeping the door shut.

“You really shouldn’ta snooped, Y/N,” he sighed from behind you. His voice felt rough in your ears but there was an air of resignation to it.

“I didn’t. I was just looking for the file and I found it,” you bit out, you knew it was futile though. You both knew it. He grabbed your arm and moved you away from the door, putting himself between you and it. You felt your legs shake slightly as you tried to figure out how to get out of the situation you found yourself in. How did it come to this? That your best friend was the one you were afraid of?

“Please just let me leave, Billy,” you begged softly, your voice almost a whisper. He tilted his head at you as he rolled his shoulder.

“You know I can’t do that. Not now you’ve seen shit you weren't supposta see,” he muttered as he shook his head. He wore an odd expression you’d never seen directed at you before. It was intense. A mixture of sadness and anger. Disappointment.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for what's in the file. I'm sure you have them on everyone who works here," you weren't sure who you were trying to convince at this point. He laughed incredulously, brows raising as he gave you a look.

"That's funny. See… that was what I was gonna say if you ever found it. Yet now, here we are and even I know you don't believe that. I shoulda known you were smarter than that," he looked amused and it only unsettled you even more. He looked nothing like the Billy you’d grown to care for.

"Sit down," he commanded as he gestured to the sofa across the room before snatching the file from your hands. All you wanted to do was flee the room but you knew you had no chance. As soft and kind as he'd been with you, you knew how lethal he could be. You had no chance. So you obediently moved over to the sofa and sat down. Billy tossed the file onto the coffee table in front of it before he sauntered over to a cupboard to pour a drink. Your eyes darted from him to the door. You really didn't think you'd make it. His reflexes were scary. You could scream since some people were still in the building but he could easily snap your neck before anyone got close enough to help you. You were broken out of your morbid thoughts by Billy thrusting a glass of what looked to be bourbon in your hands before he plonked himself onto the table. Now he was sitting opposite you and far too close for comfort. He took a long pull of his drink, rolling his shoulder and working his jaw.

"You wanna know the truth about why I gave you this job?" He asked pointedly. His dark eyes were too much to bear and you looked down at your drink, a feeling of dread curling low in your stomach. When you didn't give him an answer he decided to continue.

"I've been watchin' you for the past two years," he stated it so casually, like he was talking about the weather and your eyes snapped up to him then, wide and panicked. You should have gathered that from the pictures but you'd naively hoped he wasn't behind the pictures and that he'd just acquired them. The invasion of your privacy made your skin crawl and you felt sick.

"Mr Johnson used to talk about you all the time. I didn't get it. Didn't get why you were so special. At one point I figured you were fuckin' him or some shit but I knew he'd be talkin' about it if he was. And then…" he trailed off with a light laugh, licking his lower lip before he took another pull of his drink. "Then I met you at that ball. Soon as I laid eyes on you it felt like I'd been hit by a damn Mack truck. I wanted you. And all night you were out of reach. And when you finally do come my way, you give me a breezy hello before you prance right back off again. Like you looked right through me and I wasn't even there," he murmured softly before laughing again.

"And you know… I think it just made me want you even more," he chuckled, shaking his head. You really didn't know what to say. You felt many things and none of them good. The worst part was knowing if Billy had approached you again that night, you probably would have gone along with it. You'd never have known the darkness that lay inside of him. The man sitting right in front of you was like a completely different person to the one you knew and it was terrifying.

"You've got no idea how many times I asked Mr Johnson to let you go. To let me have you. Everytime I offered him money, it didn't matter what amount, it was always the same answer. You were priceless. And I mean, I agree with him, but it didn't exactly give me what I wanted so I had to take matters into my own hands," he smirked darkly. Your heart faltered as you blinked slowly at him, brows furrowed. He laughed again. That awful amused and condescending laugh that you realized you hated.

"See… that look right there. You really have no idea, do you?" he chuckled.

"About what?" You asked breathlessly. This Billy was not the Billy you were used to and you really didn't like it. You felt like you’d had the rug pulled out from under you and your brain was having a hard time processing any of it.

“Well, Mr Johnson was in the way of givin’ me what I wanted. So I hadta get rid of him,” he explained slowly, as if talking to a child. You shook your head rapidly, stomaching churning.

“You- You couldn't have. He had a heart attack, I saw it happen,” you argued weakly. You didn't know why he’d lie to you about this. The smile he gave you was chilling and you clutched your glass tightly.

“No, see he didn’t just have a heart attack. He had a heart attack ‘cause I switched his meds,” he answered. You felt like you were going to throw up as you stared right at his cold and emotionless face. You wondered if this was some kind of nightmare. You hoped it was. This was nothing like the kind and caring Billy you’d grown to know. Your mouth opened but you had no idea what to say with that devastating bomb dropped on you. You were pretty sure you’d burst into tears at knowing you were the reason he was dead, but you felt oddly numb on the inside. Some sort of shock. So instead, you chugged from the glass, needing something you knew you wouldn't find there.

“Don’t… don’t give me that look,” he huffed, shaking his head with a frown.

“What look?” you bit out. Your tone was harsh but at this point, you were pretty sure you were next on his list so you found it hard to care about being polite anymore. Mr Johnson had taken care of you. He was almost fatherly. And he’d been taken away because the man in front of you had some kind of sick obsession with you. One that started when he met you and you barely paid him any notice. Would any of this have happened if you’d have paid him a little more attention? If you’d have gone home with him that night, would he have quickly realized you weren't worth it and grown bored?

“You’re givin’ me that goddamn disappointed look. It's all over your face. And I know… I know you cared about him but he had to go. If he didn’t, you wouldn't be sittin’ here right now,” he muttered tensely. There was a strange look in his eyes and you couldn't tell if it was thinly concealed rage or desperation. Maybe a bit of both.

“Do Frank and Karen know any of this?” you asked warily. The idea that the pair were in on it made your head spin. They’d been so kind to you, you’d become friends. But then again, the same could be said about Billy. He barked a laugh at your words and gave you a look like you were stupid.

“You really think I could talk to them about this? Besides, they’re too wrapped up in each other to notice I exist most days,” he scoffed, bitterness coating his tone. It gave you only a tiny modicum of relief that the past few months hadn't all been lies. No, just the parts where Billy was involved. Where he’d gained your trust so completely that you would have trusted him with your life. You’d seemingly resigned yourself to the fact that you wouldn't be getting out of this. You knew too much. He couldn't just let you go. And since this was it for you, you wanted some more answers.

“The mugging… you had something to do with that, didn't you?” you asked plainly, a blank look on your face as you met his eyes. He scrunched his face up a little, rolling his shoulder as he looked down before back at you.

“I didn’t… I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t. But I needed somethin’ to bring you closer to me. Things weren’t movin’ like I wanted them to, so I made it happen. I know some people. I managed to get him out if he agreed to do it. But he was just supposedta scare you. Maybe push you about a bit. And when I saw what he did to you… well lets just say he won’t be around to hurt anyone else,” he bit out, dark eyes flashing dangerously. You subconsciously moved back in your seat, trying to create space even though it didn't work very well. Your body was starting to feel heavy and you wondered if the stress was going to kill you before Billy did.

“You got a guy to mug me… and then killed him for mugging me?” you asked derisively. You hadn’t meant to say it out loud but at this point, did it really matter? Being scared wouldn't help you get out of this alive. Nothing would. He pinned you in place with a hard look, his jaw ticking a little.

“I got a guy to scare you and he ended up assaulting you,” he replied tensely. You didn’t feel like trying to argue. He was clearly unhinged. You didn’t reply and instead finished your drink. Maybe if you were drunk it wouldn't hurt so much when you were murdered. Would the actual murder hurt more than the deep betrayal you were currently feeling? You weren't sure that was possible.

The silence was thick in the air and Billy never took his eyes off you even though you were staring at your empty glass. He seemed on edge by the lack of conversation.

“I’m not gonna say sorry, ‘cause I’m not,” he admitted shamelessly. You snorted a mirthless laugh as your eyes once again met his.

“Of course you're not,” you shook your head with a roll of your eyes. How hadn't you seen it? Were there red flags? Or maybe you ignored them because you loved your job here. You’d grown to enjoy it and the people and you’d grown close to the monster in front of you.

“I’m not. ‘Cause it worked. It brought you closer to me. I remember… back when you first started here. When you saw someone followin’ you home, you came to me about it. And it felt…” he trailed off with a soft laugh and you watched as he closed his eyes, a strangely soft look passing on his face. “It felt so fuckin’ good. You came to me for help, for protection. You trusted me. And doin’ what I did only made that stronger,” he said firmly. You blinked slowly at him for a moment, your head feeling fuzzy. It seemed like the more he spoke, the more your brain was having a hard time processing his words.

“It was you, wasn’t it? Following me home?” you asked with a sigh. He rubbed the scruff on his face a little as he flexed his hands.

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered dismissively.

“Of course it fucking matters, Billy. Don’t you think after all of this I at least deserve the truth?” you asked. You hated how your voice cracked, a sliver of emotion peeking out of the numbness. He frowned as if the hurt in your voice was hurting him.

“Fine, you want the truth? Yeah, it was me. I also had a strong word with your landlord which is why you ended up with me. I planned it all. And I did it all for you. For us,” he implored, leaning forward a little. You instinctively moved back and he didn’t look happy about it.

“There is no us,” you huffed, your voice cold. His dark eyes narrowed to slits as he worked his jaw and you wondered if this would be the moment he killed you. Instead, he closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath as if to steady himself. The idea of upsetting him pleased something inside of you. He’d hurt you so deeply with all of this. All the lies and betrayal. Making you feel something for him only for him to turn out to be deranged. You were going to die anyway. The least you could do was hurt him too.

“I don’t get it. I really don't fucking get it, Billy. You did all this for ‘us’, yet you kissed me. You kissed me and then said sorry. You could have taken what you wanted,” you scoffed, using air quotes when you said ‘us’. He let out a frustrated noise, running his hands through his hair and making it unusually disheveled.

“You’re right, you don't get it. I knew you weren't ready. I knew if it happened then you’d pull away. I couldn't have that. I didn't mind playin’ the long game if I got you in the end. There was no way I’d get you just for you to walk away,” he glowered.

“Right, because you care so much,” you muttered. His eyes flared with something dangerous but your body seemed disconnected from your head. You didn't even tense.

“I do care!” he hissed at you.

“No, you don't! You’re insane! You’re obsessed with me!” you yelled back, not even caring if anyone was still here at this point. He slammed his glass down onto the coffee table so hard you were surprised it didn't shatter and this time your body did react as you jumped a little.

“I love you! You -You don’t get to minimize that! You don't get to tell me this is just an obsession! I know what I feel. I’m in love with you, Y/N, and all of this shit has been so we could be together!” he insisted vehemently. You knew there was no point in reasoning with him. You just wanted this to be over with. Your head didn't feel quite right and you wondered if drinking the bourbon had been a good idea. You stood up, not really knowing what your next move was. But when you did, you found your body feeling like jello and you almost fell right over. Billy caught you effortlessly, now standing in front of you. You’d been feeling a little odd, but chalked it up to the intensely stressful situation you found yourself in. But this felt different. Wrong.

“What…?” you murmured, trying to regain control of your limbs to pull away from him. Your body didn't seem to obey you anymore. When you blinked up at him as he still held you tightly, he gave you a dark smile.

“Shouldn’t drink on the job, sweetheart,” he smirked. This wasn’t just the alcohol, this was something else. He’d drugged your drink, of course he did. You were stupid to accept a drink from an absolute psycho who was obsessed with you. But the more you internally panicked, the worse it got and your vision was getting fuzzy.

“Just relax, Y/N,” was the last thing you heard before darkness consumed you.

—-----

You woke with a startled gasp, your bleary eyes on the ceiling as everything came back to you. Through your blinding headache, you could feel you were under a duvet and you hoped you’d had a bad dream. A very vivid, awful dream. But when you glanced around, you noticed you weren’t on Billy’s couch. You were in his bed. The only time you’d been to his room was to put him to bed when he’d been drunk, you always respected that boundary. All the while he was crossing every one of yours. You moved to sit up and your body still felt heavy and it ached. You had more control than you did before in the office though and after some struggling, you managed to sit up and lean against the headboard. It felt like it used all of the little energy you had though and you put your head in your hands. It felt like someone was beating you with a baseball bat.

“Here, you need to drink this,” Billy murmured as he walked in, making you jump a little. His voice was low and soft as if he was concerned. He was holding a bottle of water in his hand as he walked over, opening it as he perched on the bed next to you.

“Is that a joke? The last time I drank something you gave me, you drugged me,” you muttered, glowering at him. He sighed with a little frown, still holding the bottle out to you.

“That was necessity. I needed to get you outta there without you causin’ a scene. But now you need to drink this or you’ll feel a hell of a lot worse,” he said apologetically. You chewed your lower lip for a moment as you considered your options here. He hadn’t killed you like you thought he might. He had a perfect opportunity when you were knocked out. But somehow him kidnapping you felt worse. You knew he hadn't done anything to you while you’d slept though as you were still fully dressed. The only thing missing being your shoes. Now you had a choice to make. You could keep resisting and making it difficult and he probably would end up killing you. Or you could play along with his bullshit until he trusted you enough. Then you could escape. You weren’t sure just how long it would take to get him to really believe you, but if it meant you didn’t die then you’d do it. You weren’t ready to give up just yet. You’d play along with his twisted fantasy and at the first chance you got, you’d flee. You gave him a look for a moment as he watched you patiently, looking more like the Billy you were used to than the crazy person back in his office. It unsettled you. You took the bottle of water and sipped on it. You hadn’t realized how thirsty you were until your body demanded more and you ended up chugging on it. Whatever he’d dosed you with apparently dehydrated you too. He looked pleased you’d acquiesced to his demand as you placed the bottle on the bedside table.

You tensed when his hand came up to your face, resisting the urge to shove it away as he cupped your cheek tenderly. It reminded you so much of the day he’d kissed you when he was drunk, back when he was normal Billy to you. It hurt. His hand then moved to your forehead as if checking for a fever as he worriedly looked at you.

“How are you feelin’?” he asked softly.

“Like I’ve been drugged,” you muttered wryly. You didn’t mean to, you weren't supposed to be sassing him right now. But you knew if you had any hope of him trusting you, you couldn't just declare your undying love for him. He wasn’t stupid by any means. You had to slowly seem like you were warming up to him. Do as he asked and act grateful. He snorted at your words but it didn't have any mirth in it. He looked disappointed as he moved his hand away from you.

“I know you're upset… but you gotta know, I don’t wanna hurt you,” he sighed. You dug your nails into your palms to try and stop your mouth from blurting out things that wouldn't help your plan.

“I know you don't. I just don't get it, Billy. Why didn’t you just come and talk to me again two years ago? Ask me out? Why all of… this?” you asked carefully. You’d let him try to explain himself. Try to justify his bullshit. And you’d let him believe that you were starting to understand him. He licked his lower lip, staring at the wall for a moment before he looked back at you.

“I’ve been with a lot of women. I’ve seen a woman and knew I had to have her for one night. But with you… with you it was different. I knew I didn't want you for just one night and it confused me. Ain’t ever felt that shit before and I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m used to feelin’ important, havin’ women fallin’ at my feet. But you… you acted like you didn’t give a shit,” he chuckled wistfully, raking his teeth over his lower lip.

“And I felt it. That… bitter sting of rejection. And I knew if I spoke to you and you did it again, I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I don't deal with rejection well. Was given up as a kid by my drug-addict mother who loved drugs more than her own kid. I know what it's like to feel unwanted like that. And with that sucker punch of emotion I felt when we met, I fuckin’ knew it would kill me. And I was scared… So I didn’t. And then I wanted to know you better, figured if I did, maybe I had a better chance. Find some common ground. But I could never… I could never find the goddamn balls to just reach out. It's why I kept pesterin’ Mr Johnson to let you work for me. I knew if I could just get you there with me and spend some time together, you’d feel it too. That I could get you to love me. But the longer I went without you, the more I needed you. And it just kinda snowballed from there,” he murmured, looking down at his hands. He sounded like he genuinely believed his words. Like he thought it was a valid justification for stalking and kidnapping you, for murmuring your boss, getting you kicked out, for getting someone to mug you and then killing them. But you didn't correct him because it wouldn't help your plan. You stayed quiet for a moment, not really knowing what to say that would make it seem like you were starting to come around, because you weren’t. But Billy continued anyway.

“You know… you called me insane back at the office and maybe you’re right. Lovin’ you has made me crazy. Wantin’ somethin’ I couldn't have so much. And it's not just superficial bullshit either,” he huffed, his dark imploring turning to you once more with so much intensity you felt your heart skip a beat.

“I love you. I love you with everythin’ I have. There isn't a damn thing I wouldn't do for you,” he said fervently. Except let me go, your mind supplied.

“And I know you don’t believe me, not yet. But you will. I know I can be… intense. But I ain’t ever loved someone before. Ain’t ever felt like this. But what I do know is that you belong to me and I belong to you,” he insisted.

You really didn't know what to say. Your brain scrambled with something to say to him to get your plan in motion. You really didn't want to be here with him for longer than necessary. It was a far cry from the comfort you usually felt with him.

“You should have just told me how you felt. You didn't need to do all of this, I never had to find out. You knew I felt something for you because I kissed you back. If you would have just told me how you felt, you’d have found out I felt the same. It didn't need to come to this,” you said softly, trying to swallow down the bile those words brought you as you lied. He looked at you for a long moment, a million and one emotions passing on his face before he snorted.

“You don't love me,” he shook his head, his voice sounding pained.

“Maybe not. Maybe it's not love yet. But I feel something. When you kissed me, the only reason I got spooked is because you have a reputation. I didn't want things to change, I didn’t want you to get rid of me the second we had sex like all the others. I like working at Anvil, with you. I didn't want you to just drop me like the others because I care about you,” you frowned. It wasn't a total lie. That had been the main reason why you’d freaked out. You wouldn't say you loved Billy, even before finding out how crazy he was. But you definitely had felt something. You’d grown to care about him deeply and more than just a friend, but you hadn’t allowed yourself to fall in love with him. He clasped your hand quickly and your breathing hitched as he looked at you like you’d just murdered a puppy in front of him.

“I would never treat you that way,” he insisted firmly. You knew your plan was working.

“Well, how would I know that if you didn't tell me how you felt?” you asked with a shrug. With one of his hands still holding onto yours, he scooted closer as his other grasped your jaw gently and tilted your face up to his. Being so close to him made you dizzy and not in a good way like it had done before.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you how I really felt. I’m sorry it came to this. But you feel somethin’... I know we can get past this. We can be happy together,” he implored. Despite everything he’d done, you felt a pang of pity at his hopeful face and words. He’d briefly mentioned about his childhood and you felt bad that this small child had been so damaged by being unloved that this is what he turned into. But you wouldn’t excuse what he’d done. You couldn't. No matter how sorry you might feel for him, he was dangerous. And you couldn't let yourself get sucked into his bullshit.

“I want to be happy,” you whispered, looking into his dark eyes. Not with him. You could never be happy with him. But you wanted to live. You wanted to get out of here and live a long and happy life and forget this ever happened. He smiled softly, his thumb stroking your cheek as he leaned in. You knew what he was expecting and you knew you had to give it to him since your plan was working. You closed your eyes as his lips met yours and you tried to pretend Billy wasn't a monster. He was the soft and kind Billy you’d grown to know since working with him. The Billy who would make butterflies swarm your belly without having to do much. The Billy you felt safe with. You kissed him back, trying to make him believe your lie and he groaned softly, deepening the kiss. You felt sick. But you didn't let it show as you leaned closer to him and kissed him with as much fake desire as you could. When he pulled away, he was looking down at you like you were made of gold. It made your chest hurt. You'd never had anyone love you. It felt like a sick cosmic joke that when it happened it made them deranged. If he wasn't crazy, it would be great. Having someone adore you this much. But it wasn't a sweet and innocent love. It was tainted by blood and lies.

He stroked your cheek one more time before moving away from you and you felt like you could finally breathe again.

“Are you uh… you hungry? I can go grab you somethin’?” he asked after clearing his throat. This could be it. Your window of opportunity.

“I could eat,” you smile tentatively. He grinned then, looking more relaxed than you'd seen him since you’d found that disgusting file. He nodded, standing up and hovering a little.

“There’s a Chinese place just down the street. I know it's your favorite. You just rest,” he murmured, giving one last smile before he walked away. He only knew it was your favorite because he’d been stalking you for two years, not because you were friends and your fake smile dropped the second he left the room. You held your breath until you heard the front door shut and your body sagged. This was it. You waited a little longer on the off chance he’d seen right through you. But when all that greeted you was silence, you tried to get out of bed. Your body was still weak and groggy and you had a hard time standing up. But this was life or death and you weren’t about to let your stupid body ruin it for you. You shuffled into the living area, peeking around anxiously as if you thought he was about to materialize out of thin air. There was no one here though and you tried to get to the door like you were wading through molasses. When you finally reached it, you tried to open it to find it locked. Of course it was. So he didn't trust you completely yet, you were stupid to think he would. But now what? You couldn't stand the thought of staying here with him any longer. How long would it take until he trusted you so much that you’d be able to just walk out of the door? You couldn't do it. You didn't have it in you. You knew he’d expect you to be intimate with him too and the thought made you feel sick. The idea of Billy getting you into bed wasn't appealing as it had been once. Now it just made dread fill up your entire being. If you stuck around, he’d know you were lying and you’d wind up dead. You had to get out of here.

You felt like you’d spent ages trying to pick the lock on the door with a paperclip you’d found and a flathead screwdriver. You’d seen it in a movie once and they'd made it look easy. They lied. But as the seconds ticked by, you knew Billy was getting closer to coming back and your fear turned to blind panic. You couldn't go along with your plan. You were going to die. It was you or him, and you knew who you’d be picking. You dived away from the door when you heard the jingling of keys outside of it and you clutched the screwdriver in your hands, rushing to the kitchen area behind the counter. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You quickly hid the screwdriver behind your back as he opened the door and he looked startled to see you as he walked in with a bag to take out.

“You're up?” he asked, no inflection in his voice to tell you what he thought about it.

“I was getting fed up with just laying there. Trying to get my muscles going again. I hope that's okay?” you gave him a sweet smile and he gave you one back as he gestured to the table.

“Guess we can eat here then,” he mused. As he walked into the kitchen space to grab plates, you moved around the other side of the island, trying to keep the screwdriver hidden from him. Now your back was to him, you had it clutched tightly in front of you. Your eyes glanced to the now unlocked door. Surely he wouldn't chase you down once you got out of the apartment and down the stairs. There were other people living here too. They’d call the cops. He wasn't stupid.

“What the…?” Billy's confused voice had you turning around as he moved to grab the bent paperclip from the floor where he’d seemingly stood on it. His eyes met yours then and now you’d turned to him, he could see the screwdriver. You saw it flash all over his face and you made a dash for the door with a yelp. But with your body still in slow motion mode, he grabbed you before you got there. You swung wildly behind you with the screwdriver and you hated how easily he disarmed you. Any self-defense he’d taught you went flying out of the window in your state of panic but you weren't sure it would help you against someone like Billy anyway.

“Let me go!” you screamed, crying out when your back suddenly got slammed into the wall harshly. Now you were face to face with a very angry-looking Billy. He also looked hurt.

“You lied to me?” he asked, voice low and dangerous but wobbling ever so slightly.

“Like you haven't been lying to me all this time?” you hissed at him.

“I told you, I told you why I did all that!” he yelled, his dark eyes looking more unhinged than you’d ever seen them.

“You’re fucking insane! You’ve been stalking me for years and now you've kidnapped me and you really think this is normal? Do you really think I could ever love someone like you, Billy? You're a monster!” you sobbed helplessly.

“Don’t you say that!” he screamed, slamming you back into the wall and making you cry harder at the pain.

“You're nothing but a monster and I could never love you,” you bit out through your tears. He looked like you’d just stabbed him right through the chest at your words, his obsidian eyes full of unshed tears. You knew you were fucked so what did it matter anyway? But you wouldn't go down without a fight. You brought your knee up and kicked him in the groin, making him roar with pain and anger as he stumbled away from you. You tried to scramble to the door but he gripped the back of your shirt.

“I won't let you leave me!” he roared as he yanked you back so roughly you went careening backwards. You head smacked into the corner of the wooden coffee table and nothing mattered anymore.

Billy’s chest was heaving as he looked down at you for a moment. You didn't get back up. You didn't keep saying hurtful things to him. You were still, like a doll. And then he noticed blood rapidly pooling from under your head.

“No,” he whispered brokenly, rushing to you and dropping to his knees.

“Wake up, Y/N!” he demanded through a choked sob, tapping your face. You didn't move. His fingers went to your neck but there was no pulse. No anything.

“No! No, no, no! Don't do this to me!” he cried desperately, shaking you as if that would wake you up. He’d done the unthinkable. He never wanted to hurt you and now you were gone. He sobbed, clutching your body to him and not caring about the blood he was getting all over him.

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” he begged helplessly as he cradled you. After a few moments, a cold emptiness settled over him like a blanket. You were gone. And he’d done this to you. He’d taken away the only thing he ever loved. He was like a poison. Spreading into everything he cared about. And what did he have without you? Nothing mattered. Not Anvil, his money, Frank or Karen. None of it mattered if he didn't have you by his side to enjoy it with. He gently placed you on his sofa before standing up and wiping his tears. Your blood streaked all over his face, but he paid it no mind as he slowly walked over to the fake painting on the wall and opened it to reveal a safe. He punched in the passcode, your birthday. He took out his handgun, already loaded and ready to go. He barely even glanced at it before he made his way back over to you. He carefully moved you so he could sit with your head in his lap, gazing down at your lifeless face. You looked so peaceful. So serene.

“I’ll be with you really soon, baby,” he whispered, holding the gun to his temple. He had to believe that. He loved you so much, did so much for you and for the both of you. There was no way it was all for nothing. You’d be reunited and you’d welcome him with open arms in the afterlife. You had to. A loud gunshot resounded in the apartment and his body went limp over yours. An eerie silence overtook the place then before the faint sound of sirens could be heard making their way there. But it was too late.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine

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