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nicoliine · 4 months

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About the times when Alastor touched you and when he expected you to do it back.

☆彡 How in the world does the radio demon, who doesn't really like physical contact, end up looking for any excuse to have his hands on you?

☆ Reader is g/n; no pronouns or y/n are used.

☆ Warnings: not really. Does a mental breakdown count as a warning? Alastor is a warning itself yk.

☆ English isn't my first language, so if there's any mistake I sorry-

You noticed that Alastor didn't like people's proximity when you first arrived at the hotel and he didn't even try to shake your hand. There, with your hand on the air, you stand waiting for his shake as you observe his ramblings about a whole different subject—not that you mind about all the weird souls that can be met in hell—watching him around the other hotel staff, you confirm it.

After a couple of days in the hotel and witnessing his power display, you made a mental note to not mess with him. That being said, you didn't really want to touch him.

You were a very touchy person, content to hug Pentious when you first saw him around in the morning or cuddle on the couch with Angel before he started to make a lewd comment about his job and you just ended up leaving him alone. Nifty seemed to enjoy being all over you, sitting on your shoulders while you were reading or just playing with your hair.

Another one who was happy about your touchy personality was Charlie, but she is just happy about everything.

☆◦•◦☆

It started a month from your arrival.

Alastor, being a self-proclaimed gentleman, didn't seem to be aware of your not touching Alastor rule, he started holding the door open for you then creating a shadow to lift up that heavy box that you needed to move, and you ended up—it was hard for you—just trying to move up your body away so you didn't end up too close to him, but he seemed to love your personal space so much.

One time, you were in the hallway, not really aware of your surroundings, until you felt an arm around your shoulders. When you heard his static voice, you froze on your steps, slowly turning your head to see him there, standing with that so-known smile of his. When he started to walk, still holding you, talking about that great idea for the hotel, you just couldn't pay so much attention. Your mind is running on thoughts about his proximity.

This wasn't the only time he ended up having you close to him; being honest, it seems to have a personal liking to your presence. You doubt he was like that before your arrival (as you already spoke with Charlie about it), but he could be found anywhere you were. If you ended up helping fix the balcony fence, he was there behind you—you're glad he's at least silent—or when you are in the bar just scrolling through your phone and he is watching you from the other side of the room, not wanting to be near your technology artifacts, is he just trying to drive you mad? Even though that look of his seems to be asking for something you don't know, you won't ask what it is. Just wait to see how it goes.

His touch soon became more frequent. You often end up with your own theory that it's something involuntary, like something he doesn't even notice by the way it feels, like deep in the end he just wants to be touched but don't know how to ask for it. But with that demon, nothing is sure; everything he does used to be planned. That's why you found yourself confused and don't want to test your luck.

When you are in the lobby in the middle of one of Charlie's activities and his arm ends up holding you by his side.

Or when he just kisses the back of your hand every time you first see him in the morning and every time he leaves, no exceptions, that confusing look of his is always there.

Just about that, your hands—he often takes your hands. While you are in the kitchen and waiting for the pasta on the stove, one of your hands is resting on the counter as you hold a recipe book, reading the next steps. He's by your side the whole time; one of his hands takes your free hand, making you pause your reading and look at him in surprise for the sudden action. He says nothing, and both of you are standing there in silence until you have to go back to cook. However, he doesn't seem to want to let you go yet because he will follow you as you move around the kitchen.

From them, it seems that everyone is aware of this weird Alastor thing.

Nobody talks about it though—you are surprised as they have stayed out of the subject, just making silent bets about the cause of this behavior of his—but you know it wouldn't take long for someone to talk about it.

☆◦•◦☆

The last time he put his hands on you, you were scared. So much has passed since the last time you felt this way. Anxious and terrified, everything around you was spinning; you had to run away from the hotel activities all day.

When Alastor found you in your room, you were a mess, all your stuff scattered around the room. You saw him from your seat in a corner on the other side of the room; the only candle in the nightstand seemed to be dead soon. He just stood there in front of you; you didn't even try to look up at him, just his shoes. You can tell so much about someone else by his shoes; his shoes seemed almost perfectly clean even after destroying his enemies. He's such a collected person that it scares you.

"Why, dear, would you look at me?" Alastor surely doesn't enjoy being ignored; you know that. You just couldn't find the strength to move when he spoke to you. It passed almost 5 minutes before you turned your head up, and he was so patient with you the whole time. "What is that troubling your mind, dear?"

You didn't respond right away; you're not sure how much time passed until you did it.

"It's just... everything." Your hands run around your face as you try not to have an attack right away in front of him. "I'm so scared, Alastor."

He just smiled; nothing was said; he didn't even try to touch your shoulder or hold you; he just smiled with that now so common smile of his, —you could swear it was the biggest smile you had seen on his face —one of his arms extended to you.

You have no idea why you did what you did; maybe he asked you directly, or you imagined it all, or his eyes showed what he wanted, or the candle in your room was one of Angel's drugs, or you just simply had a death wish. You don't know.

But you hugged him—just a hug—so hard that you could break his bones. When you took conscience about what you were doing, you tried to back down, not knowing how he could react to your contact.

But he didn't let you; his arm took you by the waist, and his staff was forgotten on the ground when he held your head against his shoulder.

You now understand why he always touched you. While you hands grabbed fists of his coat, he held you so tight, like it wasn't enough, and you just needed to be closer to him forever; he didn't want anything else.

So he did, he didn't let you go for a single moment that night; even when you were in bed, he held your hand the whole time. He just let you go the next morning when Vaggie insisted he needed to go do his job, even so he wouldn't forget to kiss your hand before he left. The ghost of his touch accompanied you all the time; it was like your body grew so used to his presence and his touch that you could feel it as a part of you.

Touch Starved! Alastor folks!!! Alastor is such an interesting character to write! I want ro respect him so bad.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated 💞

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #istg this man smells like wood and coffee #nicolines

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cosmicqvake · 8 months

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I just wanna know how 7x09 goes from being this goofy, hilarious take on Groundhog Day, with moments like Daisy and Jemma casually DYING on the floor, with Deke proceeding to have a mental breakdown over it (because HELLO he just watched Daisy and his nana dramatically drop dead on the floor), while Coulson groans with annoyance about how much of a pain in the ass it is. And, of course, “phlebotinum”, and Enoch casually destroying everybody, and Coulson slowly but surely losing his mind, some cute Dousy moments too, among other absolute gems.

Then you get straight up gut-punched by conversations like Daisy and Coulson’s, about the irony of the time loop being a metaphor for his fear of the inevitable future where he will have to watch every single person he cares about die because someone “decided he should.”

Like wow. Hit me right where it hurts, why don’t you? (I could make a whole post about that conversation alone.)

Not to mention the power of Enoch’s last scene:

“Does it hurt?

It does, a bit. But it's not the physical pain that troubles me. I am acutely aware that in my thousands of years observing humans, I never used to feel lonely. I've been alone many times. To be candid, I preferred it, but it wasn't until I met this particular team of SHIELD agents that being alone meant feeling lonely. And I don't care for it. So, I am feeling, as you might expect, some anxiety now…

You don't have to. You're not alone. Daisy and I will stay with you right up until the end.

That is very kind of you. But, it's that last part, isn't it? You can stay with me up until the end, but you cannot come with me at the end. I will have to leave you and I will have to do that alone and I can't help wondering when that happens, will I feel lonely?

I can say with some authority that you're not wrong. Dying is lonely. But the feeling is temporary, at least for the person dying. The ones who are left behind… less so. I guess that's the one advantage to going first.

Yes. It's different watching your friends go before you, isn't it? I've been through that as well. It can be harder to stay than to leave. I'm sorry, Philip J. Coulson.

Enoch, the team will carry on the mission. We will survive because of you. Thank you.

You are most welcome. But Agent Johnson, while your friends will indeed survive, the team will not.

What do you mean?

I have seen the future. Carry on this mission and cherish it for it will be your last mission together.

That's not possible. Enoch, this is my family.

Of course. Yet, this is the nature of families. I have seen it countless times on countless worlds. People arrive, so we celebrate, and people leave us, so we grieve. We do what we can with the time in-between but the cycle is always there. No one escapes it. Not even me.

Which means you are not alone. You are apart of that cycle.

Like every other living thing.

Fitz... he was my best friend.

And you are a good friend to Fitz. You are a good friend to all of us.

As I have always...”

Like holy SHIT, man. I am on the FLOOR. It never fails to get me each and every damn time. I resonate on such a deep level with that entire scene, and it honestly affects me so greatly, even to this day. The emotional chokehold that it has on me is unmatched. Someone put the entire thing on my grave tbh.

I could go on about it forever, but basically, 7x09 is just my favourite episode of television ever, and I can say that wholeheartedly. Hats off to everyone who worked on that episode (and every episode let’s be real) I swear. It will forever hold such a special place in my heart.

#I can never go on about this episode enough #I am unhealthily obsessed with the entire show but especially this episode #seriously #I could go on about it til the ends of time #daisy johnson #phil coulson #enoch #deke shaw #agents of shield #marvel’s agents of shield #agents of shield season 7 #as I have always been #7x09

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evelynpr · 1 month

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Arlecchino Demo Music Analysis

DISCLAIMER: I am no musical expert in any way, just a massive fan of the Genshin soundtrack and learned music theory as a hobby.

One of my favorite things about Genshin is its music. It is not just that it sounds amazing, but each element, style, and motif has meaning and purpose- while being orchestrated and mixed to create a truly magnificent and unique musical experience. It is no exaggeration that this soundtrack is one of a kind.

Arlecchino's Character Demo has just been released, so I want to make a musical breakdown of it because I think it is a stellar example of how Genshin uses music to signify its themes and present its story. Before we get into that, there are ideas that I must detail for you to get the full picture, so I hope you enjoy!

Genshin uses musical elements to signify certain ideas (places, characters, elements, etc.). For example, Chinese and Japanese instrumentation signify Liyue and Fontaine respectively, but it goes beyond this.

"Travelers' Reverie" — Behind the Scenes of the Music of Sumeru | Genshin Impact

You may have noticed that a majority of Genshin's environmental music consists of real world instruments. There are even videos showcasing the orchestras and instruments of each nation (Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, Sumeru, Fontaine), and using orchestral/live instruments even applies to other regions such as Enkanomiya, The Chasm, Golden Apple Archipelago, and etc. This gives each region a distinct musical identity, but all together it establishes them as places that are grounded and real.

During the final act of Fontaine's archon quest, we have been introduced to a new musical identity. This is Genshin's dubstep, and it has been used to signify otherworldly power. This genre not made by a real orchestra or real instruments, but through sampling (using existing sounds/music) and technology.

This is the identity in its most blatant form: (Shadow phase of the All Devouring Narwal boss fight)

This entire track symbolizes this. No other track within Genshin's world sounds remotely like it, symbolizing its otherworldly nature. It does not belong here- not with the live orchestras and melodic symphonies of Genshin's world.

Simply put, hardcore dubstep = otherworldly

Note: I am aware that many character demos and other tracks also use dubstep/EDM, but for the purposes of this post I think it should be left separate. Only if someone openly disputes this conclusion then I would happily oblige in presenting more evidence to this thru a reply or rb. Essentially, dubstep IS used in other tracks, but only in Silhouette of Catastrophe and Arlecchino's demo is the dubstep used as a"main idea", while also accompanied by heavy bass and "smaller intricate" sounds. This specific form of dubstep is what signifies being otherworldly.

Another musical element is children's singing!

In terms of the in-game ost, children's singing is used most prominently in Dragonspine's soundtrack in Genshin's world- and I will admit that I am not sure why that is. Perhaps Dragonspine has themes relating to innocence? Childhood? Tranquility? Whatever it is, I am not sure of. (If you have an idea, I would love to know!)

Instead, we can look at a certain character demo:

Nahida's! The beatdrop of her demo begins with children's singing. I believe this represents her innocent nature, status as a young archon, and the children of the forest that surround her- the Aranara.

Not only that, but the only other people in her demo are all children. Suffice to say, Genshin pays very close attention to using their music to reflect the themes and attributes of their characters in their demos (I could make more posts about this- breaking down more demo music...I think that'd be fun)

It's fairly straightforward, but essentially children's singing = children, innocence, and childhood

Now let's (finally) look at Arlecchino's demo

Let's first review each of the main musical elements and what they represent:

Dubstep and distortion: Otherworldly power. For Arlecchino: her curse, power, and dominance. "A spark cannot shatter all shadows until it sets all ablaze"

Children's voices and music box: Children. For Arlecchino: a lullaby; possibly protectiveness/care or tainted innocence (depending on how you interpret how she sees her children)

The music begins with a solo piano- lonely, melancholic, and mysterious. This is how she is after the death of Clervie and the rest of the children of the HotH.

Afterwards, the piano gets distorted- then replaced with harsh artificial beats and musical turmoil. This may be reflected on how she defeated her "mother" using her otherworldly power- her curse.

Following this is the anticipated beatdrop. Fascinatingly, it is not actually lead by dubstep, but by a distorted music box with a creeping melody. Not only that, but it is accompanied by a children's choir and a drum beat together.

The dubstep then ramps up- completely overtaking the track. But one it has reached its height, it is interrupted by the music box and singing children.

One can interpret this as her children holding her back from unleashing her true power. When she is most ruthless and violent, she is reminded of their playfulness and innocence.

The choir ends abruptly- but afterwards, the children's voices and music box lead the melody, while the dubstep and distortions accompany it harmoniously to create one whole piece.

This is who Arlecchino is. A Father and Harbringer defined by "caring" for her children and her otherworldly power. A love that nurtures and neglects- a power that frees and destroys. A wolf in sheep's clothing, or a sheep in wolf's clothing?

However the demo doesn't end there- the solo piano returns once again.

"Its flame is no longer needed, for you have the strength to defend yourselves"

This is going into speculative territory, but perhaps after she passes on her title as "king", she is once again lonely, left without a family. After all, she may no longer be needed or wanted at all- not after all that she has done, not after all that she has failed to do.

Conclusion

I love Genshin's music from the bottom of my heart. One reason why is the attention, detail, and beauty put into each track. Each piece is not only an experience, but also a story, an idea, a character, a place, whatever the artists wish to portray.

Arlecchino's Character Demo is one but many pieces that showcase this. In this track, we are able to discern Arlecchino's two core ideas, her relationship with her children and otherworldly power, through an incredible combination of singing, a music box, and dubstep. One can even theorize the course of her story through its visuals and music, in the end creating a beautiful and encompassing display of "Arlecchino".

#this does not even talk about the VISUAL details. just the music ALONE is so much #holy shit this i really did all this in one day #dear god arlecchino is truly amazing #i hope u guys like a music analysis im gonna hope this does not flop alkdjfalsdjls #its also really damn long whahhaha #also I am ofc open to criticism im not exactly an expert here #i love love genshins music so much #its amt of motifs and recurring themes could rival undertale #i am not joking #evelynpr genshin #genshin #genshin impact #arlecchino #the knave #music analysis #nahida #peruere #house of the hearth

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kanzakurawrites · 5 months

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Random Thoughts I Had While Rewatching Wicked World S1:

(yes I am fully aware its a kids show with limited time but I will still yell about things XD)

They REALLY had to make Mall's eyes gray? brown? seems to change but still, her eyes are GREEN

"At my birthday parties" You had ONE birthday party Evie. One.

And evil minion bakers? Really?

Wait, so Miss "Give Your Spellbook to the Museum" D2 Evie is here, sixish months before or whatever the timeline in, begging Mal to use magic to help her?

Why is Evie so shallow in this?

WHY IS SHE SO DITZY? Stop, Evie would know not to eat chemicals DX (Actually, I bet most Isle kids would know that)

WHAT IS BEN'S OUTFIT! None of that goes together. Bring his suit back. Or goodness gracious, why not a simple button down and slacks? Blue and black. What is this?

pffft, Ak's making up words

so Audrey also has a single dorm.

It took Jane FOURTEEN YEARS to realize she has magic? No, I refuse.

at least Audrey and Ben are still friends

Seriously, there is no timeline in this world

Sustainable urban planning. You know, for someone who wanted nothing to do with the Isle in D2, Evie sure is invested in making it a better place

"Thanks to my dad" *gasp* Is Ben throwing shade at his father

I'm sorry, I can not get behind Aurora's daughter afraid of some mud

The fact that Mal loves it is hilarious

I wonder when Evie finally donated her mirror

I know that a lot of people headcanon Freddie and Uma being sisters since China voiced Freddie, but tbh I think it would be interesting if they're cousins.

(Yes i like the hc, I just have Uma's dad as someone else and then came up with the cousins thing XD)

"retract your claws" "But I just had them sharpened!"

Seriously, yo mama battles?

So how old IS CJ? I'm guessing 13 or 14, but they almost imply she's around Mal's age... but unless she and Harry have different mom's that doesn't work.

Jordan, WHY are you doing a southern belle accent?

I want to see Beast's funny birthday dance

a two hour exam on SMILING?

so it definitely seems canon that the VKs were dragged online, and always end up on there even if they had no clue their pictures were being taken. Could factor into Mal's D2 transformation and breakdown

are we SURE this is the same Lonnie in the movies?

The fact that the Auradon Girls are singing "Good is the New Bad"

so whatever happened with this whole cheerleading thing for Evie and Mal

That doesn't sound like Jay either!

"You lied to keep him from bugging you" I like this Ben

But Evie WASN'T AROUND WHEN YOU WERE KIDS

HOW does Carlos speak dog? This makes no sense

the fact that Audrey is hanging out in Evie and Mal's room

I am getting fed up with all the made up words

I wonder how many people just randomly brush Ruby's hair

"I want to go from the one who lost the crown to the one who won!" Highly doubt that was intended to be D3 foreshadowing, but it makes good foreshadowing

The fact that they are fighting over the color of purple Mal wears

And here's Jane, accusing Mal of stealing

The fact that everyone keeps accusing Mal of things. Seriously, no wonder the poor girl thought she had to change her appearance and herself to the point of breaking down

but why didn't she TALK TO BEN

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Jay still struggles with stealing sometimes. Same for even Aladdin and Eugene.

Mal being so supportive of Jane is adorable

The fact that Jane is still suspicious of the VK's

They're accusing her of KIDNAPPING her own BOYFRIEND

and WHERE IS THE SECURITY?! THE HIGH KING IS THERE! AND OTHER ROYAL CHILDREN

#thisisnotmyLonnie

CJ liking Mal is interesting considering how Harry feels about her.

#again #I know its a show #i just poke fun #there is still no excuse for bad characterization #or Ben's outfits #disney descendants #descendants

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kisuminight · 1 month

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A very general outline of how this AU's Staged Finale goes down:

So Tommy swings the Axe of Peace. And instead of turning into golden dust like a respawn, Dream shatters into pieces of light. The axe catches on Dream’s core crystal and basically knocks it so it hits the ground behind Tommy, in the middle of the gathered server members.

“What the fuck?” says Tommy.

“Language!” from Bad.

“That’s a core crystal. Dream was a Blade?” says Punz. He steps closer to the core crystal on the ground.

“Don’t touch that!” says Sapnap. He also steps closer to the core crystal on the ground.

“Chill. It can take up to three days for a core crystal to recover enough to be Awakened again.” But Punz steps back.

“Dream can’t be a Blade.” Says Sam. “Are you sure that was Dream?”

“Of course if was fucking Dream! You think I don’t fucking recognize how he fucking fights?” Tommy again.

“But if Dream is a Blade, who was his Driver?” Tubbo.

The problem is that Blades, socially, are seen as extensions of their Drivers. Most people expect that, if a Blade is doing something, it is because their Driver told them to. Anyone who has interacted with Skeppy on a frequent basis (and is aware he is a Blade) knows this is nonsense, but ingrained prejudice is strong. Tommy and Tubbo being mostly clueless about the Blade system actually puts them at a better point for recognizing Dream’s agency than anyone else.

Sapnap is having a breakdown. He thought he understood his friend, and then he thought that he didn’t understand his friend but that was okay because Dream was a bad friend. Now Dream is a Blade and some things are making sense but more things aren’t and actually his friend is for-real dead now. Not dead as in a canon death, dead as in the Dream that existed just stopped the moment he was returned to a core crystal. If it is Awakened, the New Dream will be similar but will not be the same person. The last bit hasn’t really hit him yet.

Antfrost and Bad have both been corrupted by the Egg at this point. They are surprised about Dream being a Blade, but are pushed by the Egg to want to bring Dream’s core crystal back to it. The Egg has a hard time infecting Blades, and only got Skeppy by a combination of lingering influence coming from Bad and long-term direct exposure. It is aware that any Blade in its power that reverts to a core crystal will reAwaken without the corruption, and has plans that revolve around trying to corrupt Dream’s core crystal itself.

HBomb, Jack Manifold, and Niki are mostly satisfied that Dream is not going to be a Problem any more. They are content to leave at this point. Niki did guess that Philza was a blade, and since Techno contacted her prior to the confrontation, she does inform Techno (who she thinks is Philza’s Driver) about the situation with Dream.

Callahan is worried about the situation. He wants to know who Dream’s Driver was. As a Blade himself, he is aware that a Driver does not absolutely dictate what Blades can/cannot do. However, a Blade’s relationship with their Driver does greatly impact how they see the rest of the world. Callahan is also aware that a Driver does not necessarily have to be on the same server as the Blade, seeing as his Driver Alyssa is off-server.

Ranboo is staying quiet. He and Punz are staying out of this discussion. Punz makes an excuse to leave early, and dips out while making motions to or saying something about Dream’s core crystal, which is still on the ground. Ranboo is hovering around, acting hesitant.

Sam also wants to know who Dream’s Driver was. He is currently the Warden of Pandora’s Vault, and while his behavior has not reached the point where it would in canon-timeline after overseeing Dream’s imprisonment, the signs are already starting. Sam thinks that Dream should be reAwakened and that they need to be careful about who Dream’s new Driver is to make sure that Dream is a Good Person in his new life (Sam is advocating to be the new Driver).

Puffy agrees that Dream needs a good Driver to be a better person in his new life. She thinks Sam is a good person for that. Eret weighs in at this point and mentions that Dream was a citizen of the Greater Dream SMP and might be better with them (this is part of Eret’s quest for reconciliation, as well as a bit of power-hunger. Eret is a weird character). Puffy says that Sam would be better because Dream shouldn’t be around/have influence in politics. She says Dream probably shouldn’t go with Bad or Antfrost for similar reasons. At this point, Eret leaves.

Tommy wants to know what the hell are they talking about. Why is Dream a rock? Why are they trying to revive Dream at all? It’s like they think that Dream isn’t a wrongun’.

*Blade system is explained to Tommy*

Okay, so the New Dream will look exactly the same as Dream. And act exactly like Dream. And you think it’s okay to wake him up because he won’t have any memories? Tommy calls Doubt with lots of cursing. Bullshit Dream was doing it on orders. It was only Dream demanding Exile. It was only Dream during Exile. Yeah, Doomsday was Dream + Phil + Techno, but Dream wasn’t getting puppeted by either of them. And if Dream was a Blade, why didn’t Dream ever use any of his Blade powers? None of them even know what his Soul Weapon looked like. They don’t know what his element is. Even healer Blades have some weak attacks, and he didn’t use an of that shit! Maybe Dream should stay a rock.

“What the fuck, Tommy,” goes Sapnap.

“Maybe Tommy should reAwaken him,” says Tubbo. The issue is that Dream hated Tommy, right? If Tommy is Dream’s Driver, then that can’t happen again. Dream will help Tommy, be his friend. After all, Dream was nice in the beginning.

Dream will be Tommy’s friend sets Tommy off. “Dream was never my friend and never will be!” This is lingering trauma from the emotional manipulation from exile. Meta note, the relationship between Tommy and Dream would not be healthy at this point.

“Dream should stay with someone who was actually his friend,” Ponk disagrees. Giving a Blade to someone who was their enemy seems ethically dubious.

“Sapnap,” says Quackity.

“Not Sapnap,” says everyone else.

“Fine, George then.”

Sapnap, who is still having a breakdown and is processing 1000+ things and just realized that George might have been Dream’s Driver, based the fact that he re-met Dream as George’s friend and also George’s weird behavior around the dethronement, “Not George.”

“You should leave Dream as a rock,” Tommy repeats.

“I still think it would be better if he stayed with Sapnap,” says Quackity. This is partly to support his fiancé and partly because he thinks having a Blade in his sphere of influence would help his plans. “What do you think, Ranboo?”

“Um, Karl?” It sounds shaky, and the pronunciation is weird. Ranboo leaves.

People present: Tommy, Tubbo, Puffy, Quackity, Sapnap, Antfrost, Badboyhalo, Ponk, Awesamedude.

Karl is friendly. He is minimally involved in server politics at this point (since El Rapids is mostly forgot about in comparison to L’Manberg, and L’Manberg is a hole in the ground). He is Quackity’s other fiancé, so this is still a good solution for Q. Tubbo likes Karl. Tommy is kind of “eh” about it, but he also thinks that Dream should not be reAwakened at this point. Everyone else talks over him. Sam is okay with Karl, but he would prefer to have Dream as his Blade.

“Sapnap, can you bring the core crystal to Karl?”

The core crystal is Not There.

Everyone freaks out. Sapnap demands that everyone empty their inventory. Nobody present has the core crystal (or they are pretending they don’t. Sapnap isn’t sure how much he can trust them). When was the last time anybody remembered seeing it? Well, that was when Punz pointed to it and left. Okay, so Punz doesn’t have it.

Who left?

Ranboo, HBomb, Eret, Niki, and Jack Manifold.

On the Nether side of the portal, EW!Ranboo drops Dream’s core crystal into Punz’s hand. Even if someone were to come through the portal now, they wouldn’t be able to see them. Punz was actively pushing aether into his passive powers, rendering the two of them completely unnoticeable. Once Punz has the core crystal, he steps back. EW!Ranboo completely loses track of him as he leaves.

EW!Ranboo scribbles the basics of what happened in his memory book, Dream tried to kill Tommy and Tubbo. We rescued them. Dream is a Blade and they are fighting about who Dream’s new Driver will be. I am worried about the outcome. Then he gives control back to Ranboo.

So everyone goes into the Nether, and they see Ranboo standing there putting away with his memory book. Ranboo says, “What happened?”

“Ranboo, can you empty your inventory?” The core crystal is Not There (anymore).

Ranboo apologizes to Tubbo, “I’m sorry. Thinks were very stressful. I don’t remember what happened at the confrontation.”

Three days later, Punz Awakens Dream as his Blade. “Hey, buddy. You doing okay?”

“…Resonance feels different from George. It’s weird to have a comparison.”

Results of Staged Finale:

Punz is not under suspicion for having Dream or helping Dream before he was killed. Ranboo is also not under suspicion. Dream has been reAwakened with all his memories (the experiments worked!). They can now continue further experiments in peace. Everyone at Staged Finale is now very suspicious of each other. The idea of someone on the server can just pull a Blade with Dream’s fighting skills, unknown powers, and the blind loyalty of all New Blades out of their inventory unnerves people. Tensions are high, but most people are reluctant to get into actual fights for the moment because what if.

Dream is avoiding the SMP in general, but if someone does see him he can just say “I have no idea who you are, got to go.” There is a greatly reduced risk of immediate attack as long as he pretends to be an amnesiac new Blade if he is discovered.

#DSMP Blade System AU #c!dream #staged finale #basically Dream just revealed 1 fact that upended the entire world and ditched #no one is even sure what his element/powerset would be #given that most people still think “tyrant”#a lot of their guesses are wind/dps #or maybe fire/dps because of Doomsday #this absolutely started a conspiracy theory about whether he got killed/Driver replaced between early SMP and the first L'Manberg war #because god forbid people get a personality change after they've been backed into a corner for months and told their a villain for all of i

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raayllum · 8 months

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Hi! I was just wondering if you knew where to find all of the released Season 6 stuff - I’ve seen a lot of people talking about s6e1 intros and aaravos crying and stuff but I can’t find it anywhere :’(

I’d be suuuper grateful if you knew where I could see it!

(Also I love your blog and analysis’ so much!)

So the bulk of it is on twitter and there's a few compilation posts of it here on tumblr under my NYCC 2023 tag but here's a rough lowdown of what we know:

The length of footage shown was around 18 minutes, with anywhere from the final 4-5 minutes of the episode still unknown

The opening scene features Aaravos crying and the Merciful One (the Startouch elf depicted in the statues at the Sea of the Castout) telling him that they are connected by love. It is unclear if the Merciful One is referring to Aaravos and themselves, or Aaravos and another individual

The kids have brought the prison back to Katolis, where Ezran wants to keep it safe and protected. It is being kept in the dark magic dungeons in the same location the egg was. The prison makes the rune cube glow with Star magic

Callum wants to just outright destroy it, but Rayla cautions that might be too risky and accidentally free Aaravos

Callum has a nightmare where the lines between reality and the dream are blurred; he dreams of Aaravos possessing him and of going down to the dungeons. In the dream, he's brought into the primal stone like orb alongside Aaravos, only for the Startouch elf to smash the thing and set himself free

In a panic, Callum goes to talk to Rayla, who nearly attacks him with pillows. He says they have to do something and enacts a plan with Barius to create an illusioned prison to leave behind, while he and Rayla take the real one to the Starscraper in hopes of learning how to destroy it. Ezran is aware of this plan

They also of course want to free her parents, but it doesn't seem that Ez knows about the coins yet

Claudia has a breakdown on the beach over the loss of her family and momentarily attacks Terry after having done some dark magic. He promises to never leave her, but Claudia instead leaves him in order to avoid being left, leaving Terry alone crying on the beach

Viren is not seen at all

And that's the episode. Quite the start to the season, and I'm excited to see where it goes next!

#nycc 2023 #nycc #cons #thanks for asking #tdp spoilers #compilation #tdp #the dragon prince #anonymous #s6 #6x01 #s6 spoilers

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electricbluebutterflies · 10 months

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Desperate hug for Joel and Tess??? Lovelovelove your work

PG-ish and also on ao3.

Joel doesn’t come home.

This in itself shouldn’t be a problem – a domestic arrangement is not an absolute, and Tess is a grown woman who is well aware that her partner can take care of himself and equally aware that they’ve never really had a talk about monogamy. With the lives they lead…

Honestly, screwing someone else is the least of evils here. Not something she’d be happy about, but better than the hundreds of other things that could go wrong, especially considering he wasn’t supposed to be doing anything questionable, especially-

If she overthinks this, she may finally have that breakdown she’s overdue for. So she doesn’t.

She doesn’t sleep well – too used to a warm body too close to her, dammit he’s gone and ruined her – but she does sleep, and she goes about her morning routines like everything is fine, and everything is not fine but she does not have the energy for that shit, and-

Objectively, this is the day she should go try to figure out what happened, but… it may be better to have no idea, if something tragic, to find out in bits and pieces from shared acquaintances over months and years, to-

Tess curls her fingertips around the table, realizing how unstable she is, how much she almost hopes something unfortunate has happened because otherwise something unfortunate is about to, how-

She hears the key in the lock, and she’s not sure it’s real, and she does not turn. If her mind has finally gone and broken, she’ll drag her feet into madness with the same stubbornness she’s done everything else. If on the other hand her partner has managed to crawl out of whatever hole he got into…

“Not…”

Still she does not move, still she does not give eye contact. Worried and pissed off is a fun emotional combo, and she’s not sure which will win, and-

“You could’ve been dead,” she hisses. Or worse, with someone else, but-

Petty jealousy is going to get her absolutely nowhere, but she’s never more territorial when she has that kind of risk, and-

She knows better. She still worries. If this is love, fuck it all.

“Got dark, wasn’t safe…”

“Like we’ve ever fuckin’ cared about safe.”

He clears the distance and gets his arms around her from behind, and she wants to wriggle out of the embrace but instead this is what it takes to make her turn around and cling. Make herself small like she isn’t, get close enough that she’s not totally sure they’re separate people, get her hands under his jacket and-

“You worry me,” she says like it’s the only thing that matters in the world. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

“You really think I-“

“Don’t try me right now. Not when you could’ve been-“

It’s clearly taking him a little while to figure out she was just as concerned about betrayal as common-law widowhood, and she’d be annoyed if she wasn’t so relieved and-

“Nothing happened. No reason to get your hands all over me and-“

“What about getting my hands all over you because I missed you?”

“Goddamn, leave you alone for one night…”

“One night I wasn’t planning on.”

He holds her that much closer, and she knows she’s not getting anything she might mistake for an apology, and-

Shit happens. She’ll let it go, eventually. Just not yet.

#ebf writes fic #joel x tess #queue

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cooliogirl101 · 2 years

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May I ask why Orochimaru and Reina are one of your favourite relationships? I’d be really interested in hearing the breakdown, and what aspects of their relationship/dynamic you appreciate specific. I’m also extremely curious what makes Orochimaru a good fit for Reina too (since Reina is basically a good fit for everyone in the PPG AU, haha. I adore how Hisana manages to be loved in every universe just by being kind and understanding).

Mostly because I enjoy pairing Hisana (Reina) together with the most immoral characters I can find, but before they reach the point where they become completely irredeemable. It’s an opportunity to explore the effect a single person can make on another person’s life and besides, I love the trope of “character has no moral compass of his own and so hires someone else to be it for him.”

And like, Orochimaru is the person every self-preservation instinct tells you to avoid. Even if they’re not consciously aware of it, he makes people uneasy, on edge, because every instinct is screaming at them that There is something wrong with this guy. He’s not human, he feels nothing. He wouldn’t care if you died right in front of him— he wouldn’t care if he was ordered to kill you.

So people avoid him. Avoid looking in his eyes, avoid doing anything that could potentially attract his attention (his interest is a dangerous thing to have, after all. You need only possess a sharingan to know that). There’s nothing more dangerous than a man on the ledge, a man on the verge of having nothing to lose, because this is someone who can and will drag you over the cliff with him.

Reina is not necessarily the type of person who will force someone back from the ledge. When she first started visiting Orochimaru in his lab, she didn’t try to force him to leave his lab/experiments or nag him to go outside. Instead, she just...reminded him that a world outside of his lab existed.

She brings him food from a new restaurant that opened down the street. She always comments casually about the weather that day (“Love the breeze today, it goes so well with the sun!” “Think there might be a thunderstorm coming later, you can really smell it in the air.”). She talks about her plans later (“I’m getting Minato’s input on a new seal I’m working on. He mentioned Jiraiya might be in town so I was hoping to get his opinion as well.”). She talks about a new book she just discovered, and “forgets” to take it with her when she leaves. She’s a living, breathing, constant reminder that there’s more to life than his experiments, one that refuses to leave, refuses to judge, and in the end, that makes all the difference.

If Reina is patient and understanding and gentle with Orochimaru, Orochimaru’s tendency to do the exact opposite with her is another reason why I love their relationship. He’s perceptive enough to see the cracks in her facade when she’s taking on too much, when she’s pushing herself too hard, and unlike the other people in her life, he’s not polite enough, kind enough, or merciful enough to allow her to hide behind oh-so-convincing smiles and reassurances; instead, he’ll ruthlessly chip away at her defenses until he gets the answer he wants. He’s the one least likely to fall for her mask because everyone else wants to believe her and he doesn’t give her that luxury. He doesn’t care about offending her or pushing her away, because he already knows she’s going to stay (as probably the only person who has experienced firsthand how impossible it is to get her to leave). He calls her out on her refusal to allow people to help her, her hypocrisy (“You preach that friends should always support each other, and yet you refuse to allow anyone to support you. Why are you the exception, Reina? Do you think so highly of yourself that you truly believe no one else can handle the things you do?” “No, of course not! I--” ”Or is it that you believe everyone around you too pathetic to provide meaningful aid? Do your comrades know you think so lowly of them?”), forces her to confront the way she views herself, in a way that’s borderline cruel and yet effective (he’s long since honed his words to be as effective as any weapon, sharp enough to cut through any defenses his opponent puts up).

And you know what? I think that’s exactly what she needs.

#powerpuff girls au #I’m here for Orochimaru being the worlds most awful therapist lmao

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gordvendomewhore · 2 years

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For the ask game <3

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

heyyy thank you for the ask teehee 🤭🤭 ik i literally reblogged this from your account LMAO so thank you, this was very considerate

i'm going to be answering most of these in regards to bully :)

these responses are gonna be a bit long so strap your boots on cowboys

A - ships i currently like

i am alwayssss thinking about bif/derby (berby 🥺) because they are my BOYS!! however, lately i was talking to my s/o about a post i made about unlikely prep ships (that apparently doesn't fucking exist because i couldn't find it again and had a mental breakdown over it), it reminded me of my love for bryce/vance!!!

when the bully discord was still a thing, me and my friends talked about unlikely ships and how u can basically ship... any two characters together. i don't remember how exactly we landed on bryce/vance, but it made sense to me and really settled into my heart lol. idk how to justify it other than wow! it just works. but if someone wants to know more, pls do feel free to send me an ask

other than that, i've really been into bryce/chad recently... they wrestle at night :)))

C - a ship i will never like

bro don't burn me at the stake for this, but there is one ship i just do not get behind, and anyone who knows me will know it but...

smopkins.

when i first played bully, which was two years ago, it was me revisiting it YEARS after i first discovered it as a young kid, and so i actually knew what shipping was lol. the first ship that came to mind for me was petey/gary, and while that is def popular in its own regard, it really surprised me to see how crazy people were for smopkins.

there's nothing wrong with the ship, i think a lot of art for it is cute (i have a good amount saved), and the fics certainly pack some emotion, but it just didn't click with me, and it never will lmao. and i think some people are too crazy about it, but that goes for ships in every fandom.

other than that, i don't really care for gord/vance. i did at some point, but i'm a jimmy/gord guy myself lol. it's still soooo so cute though.

H - favorite fandom source

well, obviously i like bully a whole lot LMAOO. there's a lot of freedom with the amount of side characters rockstar filled the game with, and they all have a surprising amount of personality put into them. there are endless situations to put all of them in with the small amount we've been given, and often this fandom just doesn't take advantage of it lol

other than bully though, i'm casually into borderlands and i used to have a haikyuu phase, so i check up on those two fandoms occasionally. i also LOVEEEEE the karate kid trilogy and watch the show that's out now (i have my gripes with it but whatever smh). i also like checking up on the rpg ib and one punch man every now and then. oooh and i can't forget detroit: become human.

J - fandom introduced to me through tumblr

uhhh none come to mind if i'm being honest haha. i don't really look at my feed unless i'm bored, so i'm only on tumblr to browse through tags for fandoms i know and post my own content.

i guess i didn't know the homestuck fandom was still active? LMAOOOO

thank you so much for these asks!!! i will make my way through the rest in my inbox <3

#thank you sooo so much #it's really great to get stuff in my inbox #not super bully focused but i'll still tag it #canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #mine

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rot-in-progress3000 · 6 days

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I am just a little worried about my sister.

*These aren't their real names*

I love my sister Jasmine but I feel like she is focusing on the wrong things in life. A lot of aspects of her life kinda came crashing down all at once. Earlier this year her boyfriend broke up with her and it was a terrible breakup. Through her boyfriend, she had made a lot of friends and a lot of her social circle was through him. Her boyfriend and his friends were also nerds, weebs, goths, and emos. So for the first time, she was able to connect with people outside of me with her interests. She is also an extrovert and they went out often. Although I feel like this life introduced a rather destructive vice.

We grew up in a somewhat strict Christian household so we got banned from shows if they spent too much time showing the villain.

She's been feeling repressed a lot and wants to show our older sisters all the stuff she likes and talk about them all the time. But our older sisters (Pamela and Erica) are normies. They genuinely don't like horror, very selective on the animes they will tolerate, and don't really care for a lot of rock music. I started liking a lot of these interests earlier than Jasmine did even though I am younger than her but I was better at hiding them from our parents. And only showed Pamela and Erica the surface-level stuff.

I guess I am more used to filtering myself than she is. Jasmine said she no longer wants to filter herself and is tired of pretending to be fake for our relatives and parents. I don't know what else to tell her that's kinda just how it is. As much as I love my interests I won't feel pressed that our sisters won't think Paprika is a masterpiece. I just want Jasmine to stop feeling disappointed that Pamela and Erica will always think that the goth nightclub she goes to is weird and evil. I just want her to know that it genuinely doesn't matter what others think. And that its ok we can't play alternative music around our family. We literally have other older cousins that felt the same exact way. I just don't want her to leave the family once she becomes financially stable.

Like I know its fine because we all live together and that I want my own place. I just don't want her to leave me behind and never speak to our family again. Our parents divorced and we had a riff in the family that lasted for years. I don't think I could go through that again.

To not focus too much on me heh. But I do fear that she doesn't know that it's okay that we kinda have to put on a front for our relatives that we rarely see. She has social anxiety and adhd so she said she feels like her mask is slipping and she is going insane for continuously keeping up her mask.

I like hearing her talk about what its like having adhd it gives me a better perspective on life and what she goes through. However I fear she is not aware enough that just because the only advice her doctors gave her about her anxiety meds and adhd meds is to not drive when she drinks. She thinks it's okay to drink a lot because she doesn't have a license. I fear that when she met her boyfriend he introduced her her to partying and binge drinking. I don't mind the partying part but she binge drinks at every family occasion whenever there is alcohol. Sometimes when we visit Erica she goes into her fridge and pulls out a drink. Even if drinks weren't offered.

Me, Pamela, and Erica have been talking about her drinking habits. We aren't sure how to talk to her regarding it. I think we should just be blunt because she gets tired of everyone beating around the bush. And just say we are just concerned because it is literally every time we have drinks. It's been twice she's gotten drunk in front of our dad. Every time there has been a mental breakdown there was alcohol involved. Although Erica isn't very good at realizing when it's not a good time to press into a touchy subject. Like she thinks no matter the occasion that pressing a touchy subject is okay even if it will ruin the mood. And someone in an already drunk state would logically come to a better conclusion. She's improved a bit in that subject.

But Jasmine thinks her drinking habit is okay and doesn't question the fact that she doesn't remember some occasions. I feel like an ass for saying this but I feel like she is starting to mansplain anxiety to me when she gets drunk. And constantly explaining how her meds and alcohol are not causing a bad reaction. But they could cause her panic attacks and more mental breakdowns. Just recently she had a night of drinking with her friends and then the next evening we were celebrating a birthday and she was binge drinking. Not taking into account that she was hung over. And then when we got home Jasmine was stumbling around and started vomiting in the bathroom. When she got in her room I was worried about her being alone because I could hear every time she knocked something down. Pamela checked on her multiple times and she did fall on one occasion.

I can tell her mental health isn't great right now and time will tell. She's going to therapy but I think we should say something. Since our rooms are right next to each I can hear everything so I pretty much listen to Jasmine's movements. And check on her when she sleeps.

I know this may sound like an overreaction but I would want the others to do the same thing for me. Even if I would think it's lame. I just started a medication that helps with my binge eating and I noticed on the last couple of occasions I started replacing my eating habits with taking a few more drinks. We're both on a slippery slope, and I hope we can remain standing on top and not in icy waters.

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wayward-hums · 10 months

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For instance: recent studies on PTS have presented, that the diagnosed subjects show a significant difference in volume of hippocampus and amygdala. To me, this clearly indicates that those misdiagnosed with disorders of thought and affect, despite of showing signs of a psychotic breakdown, being administered medicines, must have turned out resilient to all treatment. It may take years, decades, until specialists realise the ‘worst’ option - I apologise for the bias - as it appears plausible that ‘the sufferers' (recent statistics: 1 out of 16-17 people last time I checked) aren’t really as mentally disordered as they are, I’d say, “idiosyncratically ‘retarded’".

The study of philosophy came next, as psychiatry could not bring satisfactory answers at all.

Thankfully, a significant amount of philosophical content, was already familiar to me, since the field of linguistics is concurrently linked to the studies on being. As the constructs described by psychiatry form a system of a written law, a set of rules, a guide into productivity, that is subsequently organised within an already existing foundation, it can be deconstructed with ease. However, the issue of ‘I’ - has always been problematic, even to the wisest of madmen - ever since an animal became self aware. As psychiatry fails to explain the very root of human error, one has to venture a wee bit further - just like with anything else really - to the very source of its existence. A psychotic episode could constitute a breakthrough…: surely - the mind gets lost, and the road that leads to its retrieval is immensely unwelcoming and unsightly - nevertheless, the wisdom given by insanity from within and from without is served freely, imposed forcibly within the flow, and exchanged automatically, as the societal 'soap bubble’, or the personal ‘wall’, depending on circumstance, vanishes. The ‘traps’ left by those in doubt who were before are stumbled upon throughout further discovery. They are there to remind that we are all human, despite of it all. And most, I reckon, have to start alike: “why am I, I?”, (so many get stuck at the hyperreal red stop of monkeys in the pale moonlight, or venturing further back, get mesmerised by lizards baking in the sun), to know how it goes. It is easier now to get out of these ‘traps’, though - from sinking into the realms of religious dogmas, or being lured into the Oedipal net, into a state of organised confusion, where enslaved with a vision of the fulfillment of desires designed externally “for you” one ceases becoming, to finding self at the dead-ends of internally hidden holes of solipsism, or - on the contrary - being locked in the anxious file cabinet of radical materialism… - as those in doubt who were before us, were there too, all human, after all; some of them wrote passages of their labored release from own past inclinations that signify the prevailing nature of some profound dream we are all, seemingly, after. Hence, as long as question is posed, there’s a chance the doors of endless possibilities have been unlocked already, and with each and every one originating from the exact same source, some were friendly enough to leave the copy of their copy of the key behind them.

What would I like you to think of me?

Know that I am

What do I think of us?

We come so anxious and worried about the hostility of the environment; the malice of sharp smiles and beady eyes is upon us. We've felt... We continuously feel heavy pain in our heart. Our chest is growing an evil lotus flower of pastel slime that bursts intensively out of our solar plexus. The only thing still intact is our spirit, and although its walls are being pricked constantly, we don't panic. On the outside of itself, people seem hostile. We sense danger. We feel too vulnerable, our sternum holds an invisible metal screw that is receding persistently, whilst our momentum is ebbing within it the entire time, as if we existed in the applied reality only as a heavy metal body, and the rest wasn't here anymore. People are looking at us with drone empty eyes, without any glimpse of selfhood, and the demons are standing still. Our belief is that people constitute a myriad of components that form different shades of grey while our strength is determined by how much force we possess to remain decent. It terrifies us, as the reality becomes less and less real and our mind more and more abstract. Life is a state of one's mind... Such state can be heavily affected by the environment, by the other. We perceive the hyperreality slowly mesmerising us into an anxious insignificant suit asking us to join the oblivion where nothing resides, where we are (not) in a way, already.

What do I think of you?

Sounds are essential, you know. The youth is - in fact - the key to salvation. I'm writing this to you at the age of 40, so I'd like you to think and feel the impossible: “escape”. The older you’ll get the more gradual the change will become, you will learn to defragment self, believe me, you will overcome self, you will reinvent self, to the point where you'll realise viscerally and absolutely that there is no self. Outside it is all a matter of libidinal force. One fine day your happy bubble’s gonna pop. They will start picking, and you're fragile, they will poke accordingly with their (dis) order, their musick (sick). You will start raising above, higher and higher due to your resistance, and if you’re strong you will prevail alive. The more you’ll resist, the higher you will get, there lies a issue ahead, never the less - you can’t escape societal gender binary no matter what you are, my little tree, my flower, my transgender love, my queer, my unique "transcendered". Let’s face it now - you’re fucked, fucked up, fucked over, and god help you if you just want to get off… At this point you are scared - it seems to you that the sound became a subconscious feeling on the move to find you: sharp teeth, crooked smiles, shiny eyes of beasts start reflecting your essence. Terror of the other, so remote from you out there, resisting to the further borders of sanity.

Now stop, and read me this: You’ve reached a channel you will surely fall from. My assumption is that your blooming understanding of violet makes you tread very carefully. As above so below.

So what do I think you should do with all this?

The only thing you should do, you should punch a Nazi

For poetic reasons.

All is transient, everything is temporary, you're capable of the personal flow, just know that you are, and everything else will unfold by itself, try not to try, accept setbacks, sit tight, and brace yourself in the face of the great annihilator and the absolute signifier, we are all scared shitless, we are in this together you and me. I hope my poetry isn't pure shite and you will find something wee for yourself within it so without further ado:

#zine #me #introduction #the death of the author

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eolewyn1010 · 1 year

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Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 23

The one where Victor loses all attachments to his conscience and awareness that other people in fact exist, and also gets really blatant about his religious delusions. And yell about it I shall.

Victor is describing the pretty surroundings again, and I know that’s par for the course, but… he and Elizabeth are on honeymoon now, and he’s looking at the landscape and the weather? Romantic. He’s so not into the idea of having sex with her. DAS GAY: 43

And another right away, because when Victor becomes agitated with nightfall, Elizabeth outright asks him what he fears. There we have the bit of Victor’s issues with his sexuality, his fright being intrinsically tied to his wedding night, and it adds up with his evident disinterest in the wedding preparations and ceremony. DAS GAY: 44

When Elizabeth screams in the bedroom, Victor finally comes to the conclusion that, hey, maybe he wasn’t the one at risk here! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 34

Too late, obviously; poor girl is dead. Reunite with Justine and leave the asshole behind you. Victor goes into self-pity, telling us how everyone else’s horror of a young bride being murdered at the inn is just “a mockery” of his feelings. Yeah, man. You’re so deep. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 35

For him being a suck-ass fiancé and husband, he sure is a loving widower. Insert here witty comment about Victor being more physically in touch with Elizabeth’s corpse than he ever was with her in life, and how his Oedipal side shines through when that scene of him clutching her corpse mirrors the dream about embracing the corpse of his mother.

“Elizabeth whom I had loved and cherished” – excuse me? When have you ever cherished her? Not for the last seven years, for sure.

I raised my eyebrow at the Creature just smirking in through the window while Victor was waxing poetic about Elizabeth’s corpse. I mean, he sure doesn’t have to fear being shot by Victor, but prancing around in daylight, when there are people around?

While Victor is a bit of a fainting damsel about it all, take note that he’s handling Elizabeth’s death remarkably better than Henry’s. There’s no two-months angst coma. Huh. *side-eyes the Gay count*

The bit about rowing is just… stupid. “I had always experienced relief from mental torment in bodily exercise [as we know from his wandering the mountainside]”, and he makes a big deal out of how he himself grabs for an oar because, wooooooow, he lowers himself to actually contribute to his own means of transport! I SO PRIVILEGED: 17

Except he doesn’t, because he tosses it away after a minute because he gets bored or distracted or whatever. Twit.

“No creature had ever been so miserable as I was” – IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 36

How nice would it have been if, at least NOW, Victor finally learned that other people’s deaths are not there only for his tragedy. He doesn’t know the book has his name, for fuck’s sake!

“I arrived at Geneva. My father and Ernest yet lived […]” – Ernest? Oh, yeah, him. Good man.

Frankenstein sr. just kinda crumples and dies at the news, and wrings just another count out of me with Elizabeth being named his “more than daughter”, as she was called Victor’s “more than sister”, and we all know what that meant. INCEST VIBES: 20

Underlined by mentioning how he “doted on” her, which is the exact same choice of words formerly used to describe his relationship with his wife. Ew. I’m so done with this family. Why did he send precious Elizabeth off with Victor in the first place? He knew his son wasn’t good news for anyone.

Ernest apparently does the reasonable thing and has Victor locked away for a while to sit out another nervous breakdown. At least he didn’t wax on about it as extensively as the last time.

Victor foams at the mouth thinking of “the monster whom I had created, the miserable demon whom I had sent abroad into the world for my destruction”, but still fails to point out his own responsibility. THAT GUY WOULDN’T EXIST WITHOUT YOU; YOU JUST SAID SO YOURSELF!

Also, “that I might have him within my grasp to wreak […] revenge on his cursed head.” Heh, forgotten about the super-strength again? DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 18

This is The Last of Us, Victor, not The Walking Dead. This one can run, and knock you the fuck out.

But at least he’s proactive about his wish for vengeance, setting out to slay his unnatural offspring. I’m just the tiniest bit outraged that he tells his story to the local magistrate to ask for help, and is instantly believed. *takes brick and starts hitting Victor over the head* YOU COULDN’T BE ARSED TO RISK YOUR CREDIBILITY AND REPUTATION TO SAVE JUSTINE, BUT NOW IT’S JUST SO EASY TO TELL EVERYTHING, AND THERE’S NOT A SINGLE ACCUSATION OF YOU BEING CRAZY! FUCK YOU, IN THE NAME OF JUSTINE!!

And then he gets outraged when the magistrate isn’t really so eager to fight an Übermensch. “My revenge is of no moment to you […] You refuse my just demand,” yeah, alright, get over the hissy fit. Some people wanna stay alive, y’know? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 37

There’s one sentence I wanna look at in detail before I wrap this up. “[T]here was a frenzy in my manner and something, I doubt not, of that haughty fierceness which the martyrs of old are said to have possessed.”

WHAT.

I’m not a religious person, and I cannot believe the sheer hubris he’s throwing around here. Comparing yourself to a Christian martyr??? DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 19

Well, first of all, no. You of all people have no right to call someone haughty who died for their convictions.

Second, martyrs died by themselves, you absolute twat. Demanding others die for your frenzy and cause is not the manner of a martyr, it’s that of a cult leader. Fuck you.

Third, you do realize that martyrs were martyred because of what they said and believed, right? For opinions. Setting a murderous creature out into the world is not a belief. Demanding people put their life on the line for your need of a vicious revenge is not an opinion. The word martyr means witness. You are not a witness, Victor, you are the cause of everything that went wrong here.

Fourth, has he really deluded himself into thinking that what is ultimately only correcting his own wrong is tantamount to the nobility that is usually ascribed to a martyr’s cause?

Fifth. Victor is alive, and what will kill him is his quest for vengeance, not the scourge on the land. William, Justine, Henry, and Elizabeth are dead, and blameless. If anyone here is a martyr, it’s them.

GAWD, but I hate this guy.

He reinforces my point by talking of his “ideas of devotion and heroism” (not going into this again), and then I cracked up when he, Victor fucking Frankenstein, yells at the magistrate: “How ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom!”

The hypocrisy, my dear.

And then it’s off to merry murdering. Woo, finale!

Oof. I'm very sure that Mary Shelley wrote him that way on purpose; she wanted Victor to be that self-centered, unloving jerk incapable of reflection and taking responsibility - and she wrote him well. But that doesn't mean he's not an exhausting protagonist to read. The Delusions Of Grandeur count is really the worst; I don't deal well with arrogance, and Victor has zero awareness of how self-aggrandizing his religious comparisons are. Doesn't paint a too flattering image of Percy Shelley.

#Frankenstein #personal opinions #disclaimer: this is just for shits and giggles

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keefwho · 1 year

Text

January 24 - 2023

11:59 PM

I really am just holding myself back from a breakdown constantly. Like I always mask my problems until I can’t hold it anymore, have an episode, and go back to covering it up. But I’ve never been so aware that I am constantly on the brink of emotional disaster.

Insecurities eat away at me. Wondering if people like me or if I’m good enough. All it takes is someone to suggest that I’m not doing something I should be doing. Like learning how to drive. All of a sudden I feel like I’m falling behind or am inherently doomed to fail from here on out. I used to not care what anyone thought about anything. I don’t know what changed. Maybe the need to fit in more since it requires valuing other’s opinions more.

I lack a plan. I need a plan. A plan based on something with reasonable goals.

I feel like I’m just back in another part of my emotional cycle. I develop a system, slowly rely on it too much until I’ve reverbed into myself too much, break down completely, and create a new system. Ups and downs are normal but my downs tend to be catastrophic. The only good thing about this is each system does seem to last a little bit longer. I think there is very slow progress.

I hate picking myself back up in the cycle knowing that I’m going to fall again. But I guess thats how the cycle goes. All that matter is that I don’t stop getting back up.

It’s fascinating trying to figure out my own psychology. I never thought I’d begin to get over my fear of getting sick but I’ve made enough progress with that to start solving other problems. That problem in particular was a matter of survival, or what felt like survival. That was about taming my fight or flight in relation to things that should not be triggering it. Now my problem is about finding out who I am as a person. My identify. Also learning to love myself.

I can safely say I do not love myself currently. I can’t say I hate myself either. But I avoid myself. I don’t like to think about who I am, it makes me cringe. I have to figure out why. One theory I had tonight is how I’ve been made out to be the weird one my entire life. This inferiority complex of mine has been forged over my entire life and I think I cope by avoiding acknowledging myself. It’s easier when I ignore the person that I am and instead become a character that distracts itself with stimuli. Whenever I’m left alone and realize I’m a person, it’s easy to break down when I realize how pathetic I see myself as.

Breaking this way of thinking will involve looking at myself more realistically I’m sure. Just like how I did with my fears. From experience I’ve been able to re-assure myself that I am okay based on evidence and actually believe it. I’m sure the same logic could be applied over time to my self worth. If I can discover factual value in myself, then if I start to feel inadequate I could likely remind myself of my value. But that also means I have to figure out what my values are too. It’s a very complex problem.

It’s scary that I can’t even grasp the entirety of the issue. I am forced to develop a plan in order to deal with all the moving parts that contribute to it. I know I can do it but it will be hard and I will stumble a lot. But I’ll also make fast progress at the start which is always exciting.

As goofy as this sounds, I hadn’t admitted to myself there was an issue with my self worth. It seems obvious, just like my anxiety. I could “admit” there was something wrong but I didn’t really believe it in my core. I’m beginning to realize just how important it is to be on my own side. I feel foolish for not realizing it sooner. It feels good and hopefully people won’t think it’s weird if I try to talk to them about this, if I end up feeling the need.

Somewhere inside of me there is a person that has been neglected by himself. The me typing this is a sort of character being puppeted by that person. It’s still “me” but with a bunch of masks on. I need to merge the two together so I can begin operating as a whole-er person. I want to set myself free.

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tobi-smp · 2 years

Note

Hey, hello, hi, you don't know me!

I'm anonymous cause my main blog is empty and I cant hop into an ask with a side block. But I read your C!Techno post about how he interprets his character and how that kind of clashes with the general lore and so on. In it you state that he misrepresented and mischaracterized what happened on the Tommy stream. I've never watched that stream. I started watching Dream SMP purely from Technos Pov, because I wanted to see more of the Funny Pig Man Who Farmed Potatoes, so I only started watching other peoples POVs way later down the line. Would you mind explaining what you mean by him misinterpreting and misrepresenting that stream? I'm not asking cause I disagree or wanna start a discussion, I'm just genuinely curious

- Fidget

context: [Link]

the first thing I do in that post is link to This post [Link], which is full of links to other posts I (and other people) made breaking down why techno's analysis of the situation is wrong! that's why I called it required reading, it put everything that I was saying in context ^^ I would Highly recommend digging through the posts in that link dump if you haven't already.

that said, here's another breakdown because I can't be stopped:

firstly, none of what he said addresses the Impact his actions had. canonically, tubbo was permanently scarred from this, physically And mentally. burn scars on his face and body, ptsd from the event itself. he has continuous nightmares about this, he's triggered by fireworks and by festivals, he projected his fear and anger and distrust onto quackity Despite quackity not wanting him to get hurt at the festival just because quackity had Been There. this even had a Profound impact on tubbo's long-term well being. to ignore that when discussing it is a mistake.

this is The Event that made technoblade a threat in the eyes of quackity and fundy as well. it featured heavily in the motivations behind the butcher army (quackity and fundy who were friends with tubbo and didn't want him to die, and tubbo who'd been killed). it was even brought up To Technoblade during the hog hunt event when they were asked Why they were doing this. so to have cc!techno not acknowledge it at All shows a clear lack of understanding behind the characters that are Extremely Important to his own character's arc and motivations.

secondly, cc!techno tried to present the situation as both c!tommy and tubbo trying to kill his character/put other characters in danger because they were made aware of wilbur's plan while he wasn't (particularly putting the onus on tubbo above wilbur and schlatt). this is, a very strange take if techno had just watched tommy's festival stream and even stranger in the entire context.

1: assuming for a second that cc!techno is right about the basic set up (that c!wilbur told tommy and tubbo about the plan for the festival while he didn't tell techno), his conclusion doesn't really make sense in context. wilbur explicitly told tubbo and tommy that technoblade was a part of the plan, that he had a specific role, Multiple Times. there was no Reason for either of them to believe that techno didn't already know and nothing about their streams indicated that they came to that conclusion, so the onus would be on Wilbur for lying to them under techno's version of events.

2: while it's Possible that there was a miscommunication behind the scenes back during the pogtopia era or it's just been long enough that cc!techno forgot, the idea that c!wilbur Would Have withheld this information and lied to the other two about it just, doesn't make sense from how his character was actually Played. this is the second post in the link dump [Link] which goes over quotes from wilbur that illustrate exactly what I mean.

he told tubbo and tommy that techno would be there to drop withers down after the blast (Fully indicating that he intended for Techno To Survive), while alone he indicated that Techno Was The Only Person Who Was Fully Receptive To The Plan and that this specifically meant that he Trusted him more, and on the day of the red festival techno Brought Withers and wilbur said outright “Techno, when I set it off next time, you ready to pop some withers in there as well?”

there is no way that wilbur played his character under the impression that he was meant to be withholding information from techno or lying to tubbo or tommy. which makes cc!techno insisting Otherwise a retcon of c!wilbur's intentions in a pretty severe way. obviously wilbur isn't doing the right thing right now, he's lashing out because of his own hurt but (like cc!techno says) when push comes to shove he doesn't Actually want to see anybody get hurt. he couldn't go through with it.

when schlatt used the chaos to target niki he jumped down with no armor and nothing but gravel in his pockets to try to save her because he thought she was next.

changing this to wilbur Lying to intentionally hurt the few people that he Trusts and feels safe with, particularly when cc!wilbur isn't here to defend himself (and the man missed c!dream escaping prison, he's not seeing this to defend himself), retroactively Worsens the perception of wilbur's character. which isn't really fair and isn't something that cc!techno has the authority to do.

3: putting the blame on tommy and tubbo Over wilbur (who set up the plan) and schlatt (who is the murderous dictator) feels, like he's intentionally trying to make their characters look Worse (changing the context so They're the ones victimizing His Character) to retroactively make c!techno hurting them look better.

tommy's entire arc in pogtopia was Defined by trying to prevent people from getting hurt. he didn't Want wilbur's plan, he didn't Want the tnt to go off, he didn't Want people to get hurt, and he told wilbur this much. but he didn't want to abandon wilbur either, didn't want to leave him alone when he was spiraling even if tommy didn't know how to help him, so he agreed to come under the condition that they'd be using the tnt as a Threat rather than blowing it up. that they'd Scare schlatt into stepping down from l'manberg. to claim that he wanted techno to get hurt in this moment is to miss essentially his core defining motivation as a character throughout the entire two month arc. it's actually impressive how off the mark it is.

during the actual execution itself tommy wanted nothing more than to jump in, he was only holding back because wilbur was reassuring him that techno was gonna save tubbo, he was literally Yelling for techno to kill schlatt. and the Moment that tubbo had been killed, the Moment he realized what'd happened, tommy pearled directly into the fray. he is an Incredibly emotionally driven character who would do anything to protect the people he cares about.

likewise, tubbo was the Victim in this situation. he didn't Want anybody to get hurt but he was working Directly under schlatt and knew exactly how bad he was. people who didn't watch any of the manberg povs might not realize this, but schlatt was Genuinely played as abusive to his entire cabinet party. this on top of a Laundry list of crimes (having wilbur shot and killed while he was being exiled from manberg, killing the wildlife around manberg to intentionally starve his people, taxing and hurting Niki In Particular because she stood up to him, etc).

tubbo's character is defined by self sacrifice, defined by weighing the pros and cons and accepting losses when it's necessary (like exiling tommy for instance, he Loved tommy but at the end of the day it was everyone in l'manberg vs one person no matter how much tubbo Wanted to make the selfish decision and save his best friend). at the core of this situation this was a 16 year old being actively abused by a dictator who had already killed and hurt people close to him, who was bad for everyone around him, and who wanted to hurt people even more. tubbo was Already risking his life to be a spy, and he knew this.

he still wasn't sure of himself, when he told the speech he intentionally Didn't say the code phrase until Schlatt pushed him to say more (calling him out for not finishing the speech), which is when he finally relented. to call this tubbo Intentionally trying to damn techno to death when Tubbo was the one on stage (closest of the four of them to the blast), when he'd been told techno knew and been reassured that techno was supposed to Survive, when he was scared and unsure, is a bit fucked up considering what it's being brought up to Excuse.

4: speaking of what it's being brought up to excuse. pretending for a second that the other three points didn't just happen, let's look at what techno's version of events actually does for his character.

so technoblade doesn't know that there's a plan to blow manberg up, he never learns about that plan throughout the course of the red festival which means that at No point does he stop to think that tubbo, tommy, or wilbur put his character in danger. how could he when he wasn't allowed to know?

so he decides to go to a party right. he brings withers and rocket launchers to a festival unprompted in crowd of innocent people, the Same people that he was just playing party games with. not his sword and shield, weapons of mass destruction that at this point he didn't just have lying around. it would've been an Effort to get his hands on them. he has a stack of enderpearls and full netherite armor like he's prepared to escape at any moment.

then we have the main event. he doesn't know about the code phrase, what he knows is that his friend and ally is up on stage and suddenly schlatt's laughing. and suddenly tubbo's in a cage, and suddenly the murderous dictator is ordering him to kill him, and suddenly quackity is begging for them to stop, and suddenly niki is screaming at him that he has a Choice that he doesn't have to listen to schlatt, and suddenly he's firing, and suddenly tubbo is dead, and suddenly schlatt and quackity aren't yelling anymore, and suddenly he's firing on that horrified crowd, and suddenly and suddenly and suddenly-

you see the problem here? without the context of this being Active war, techno Took Orders From The Government to kill his Friend and Ally when he was fully equipped to make a rescue. it means he Wasn't willing to stand up for his allies, which is the direct antithesis to everything his character is Supposed to stand for after this point (loyalty, giving back what you give, friends being Required to stand up for each other or else it's betrayal, "I would've fought all of them for you tommy").

it means that he went into what was supposed to be a Peaceful Situation fully prepared to not only hurt but Decimate the people around him. he wasn't going into this situation prepared to see the crowd potentially get hurt, but he made damn well sure that he was capable of doing exactly that and followed through unprompted. cc!techno recognizes c!niki as an ally, and yet c!techno shot her.

this Reframing of the situation doesn't make technoblade's Choices at the red festival look better, it makes them Worse. the only thing it Actually accomplishes is trying to demonize every other character involved so c!techno looks better by comparison. but it doesn't work that way.

5: the, """age arguments""" thing.

techno presents the situation as if the "age arguments" is like, "that character is a Child so automatically they win the morality contest by default. anything anybody does to hurt them is automatically bad no matter the context and anything they do to hurt anyone else doesn't matter because They're Young." which like, obviously that doesn't Apply here.

this is a plainly ridiculous thing for him to have said. if the roles had been reversed and it was wilbur in the cage and techno had shot him That Would Still Make Techno's Choice Here Villainous. he would've still murdered an ally, he would've still gone against his every moral that we know him to have, he would have still pulled weapons on an innocent crowd. the "age arguments" is completely irrelevant to the entire conversation. Except for one detail.

what the Actual point of bringing up the ages of the characters does is highlight the power imbalance between them and the change in dynamics in their relationships. techno was the only stable relationship that tubbo and tommy had with an adult right now, wilbur was spiraling, schlatt was abusive, and quackity and fundy were trying to be there for tubbo but were ultimately trying to survive just as much as he was. techno was a stable presence that had promised them that he would be there for him, that he would Help them, brothers forged in blood.

so when he betrays that trust, when he chooses to hurt them, it plays into that dynamic. it's not Just "techno shot a kid so that's bad" (though to be clear that is also true no matter how much cc!techno tries to make fun of it), it's "techno was supposed to be there for the teenagers he'd sworn to look after, who had nobody else to turn to, and he wasn't. he hurt them and he wasn't sorry about it."

it also plays into the situation of cc!techno trying to blame tubbo and tommy for schlatt and wilbur's actions. obviously anyone put in their position would've been stressed and overwhelmed, but it Matters that they were 16. tommy didn't know how to help wilbur Because He Was A Kid, he idolized and trusted wilbur through red flags Because He Was A Kid, he went along with wilbur's plans so he could watch over him and Be There Because He Was A Kid.

likewise, anyone in tubbo's position wouldn't be blamed for not knowing what to do. but the fact that he was a 16 year old facing abuse and war and politics he didn't understand Matters when we assess his actions. the festival may have been stressful, but killing tubbo was easy for techno. giving the code phrase was not.

that's why the "age arguments" were actually popularized by and in response to c!dream apologists. they don't want to accept the uneven power that dream has over tommy (among many Many other things) so they particularly hate it when people point out that tommy is a teenager because that's one imbalance that they can't deny through Plot. it got to the point where people were Genuinely trying to argue that tubbo and tommy were intended to be adults despite, literally everything. that particular talking point lasted months, though it's down now that tommy's age has been emphasized so hard in more recent lore (not that his age wasn't already stated outright in canon multiple times, because it was).

6: everything that came after.

technoblade talked about the shooting itself, but arguably that's the part that gets excused the most. even people who acknowledge that techno could've easily saved tubbo, that he could've easily overpowered the crowd (because he did, canonically he did), recognize that the situation was stressful. that he could've made the wrong choice because he Wasn't thinking clearly. the problem is what came after.

techno did say, the exact words, "I'm sorry tubbo, I'll try to make this as painless and colorful as possible," but that's not Really an apology. (I mean, for one thing he didn't do that, he hit tubbo with a pickaxe a few times and then shot him twice. and for another thing, "colorful" is a joke in this context and a poor one considering tubbo is now triggered by those exact colors.)

he didn't explain his actions, he didn't recognize tubbo's emotions, he didn't do anything to try to fix the relationship that he was actively shattering. if anything it was meant to sound cool, because he wasn't sorry. we know he wasn't from what came next.

tommy was angry at him, of course he was he just watch someone he trusted murder his best friend and then let the man who killed his brother and Ordered that best friend's execution go free. meanwhile techno kept insisting that it Did Not Matter, that tubbo's Death didn't matter (which is, of course, even worse in retrospect because of the introduction of the lives system and because of tubbo's burn scars. techno would've known what he did to tubbo the moment he saw him).

tubbo just got Murdered and had to listen to his very Life, his worth as a person, be called irrelevant. and still he chose to say that it was Fine to try to cut the tension (that same self-sacrificial nature we see in new l'manberg, in doomsday, in the dead man's switch, in the disc war finale). but all that served to do was hurt him more.

tommy wanted to know Why. he can forgive almost anyone if he gets a Why and an Apology. he forgave philza for doomsday and for letting his abuser out to Torture him after a single conversation. but techno didn't give him that much. he just kept insisting that he was Peer Pressured when techno was Fully Physically Equipped to save tubbo. if the answer had been that he was Scared, that he didn't know what to do, that he was Sorry tommy might not have accepted it that night, but he would've eventually. but the answer was that technoblade didn't think it should Matter.

and then of course, the pit.

now obviously, this was one of wilbur's darkest moments. he was the one who instigated the pit, he taunted the both of them (tommy especially) throughout, and I'm not overlooking that.

but wilbur was someone in a suicidal death spiral who just watched the Only person he thought was fully on his side murder a kid he was supposed to be responsible for (a repeat of the Exact Thing that started his down spiral in the first place). he was on the cusp of shifting from pointing his anger outwards to pointing it fully inwards, from blowing up manberg to hurt the people he felt hated him to fully accepting that he was a horrible person that didn't deserve to live. this was that push, wilbur was not in a healthy or stable mindset. that doesn't excuse his actions or the effect that they had on other people, but it tells us that this isn't the choice he'd make under any other circumstance.

technoblade was Not emotionally affected by this situation. he repeatedly and Continuously asserted that he didn't do anything wrong, that what happened didn't matter, that tommy was overreacting. he agreed to this fight Solely because he thought he could wiggle out of accountability if he won. he made this decision as a stable minded Adult with full agency. the fact that wilbur wanted the fight doesn't change the fact that technoblade Had the ability to say no and chose not to. he buffed his stats by eating soup before he entered the pit. tommy had no chance.

(I don't feel like I have to explain why tommy, an upset and powerless teenager, would be willing to fist fight over his Best Friend's Death and how that doesn't reflect poorly on his character.)

after he beat tommy to a non-canonical death ("to a pulp" tubbo said at the time), he made his Speech about violence being the only universal language. he tried to push the blame for the pit onto tommy ("you threw the first punch" as if he hadn't thrown the first rocket), he tried to insist that everything was resolved in the pit, "it's over tommy, on to a new day, a new plot to destroy manberg." (awfully convenient that. techno wanting to burn manberg to the ground in the scene that cc!techno didn't acknowledge at all. speaking of, here's techno saying that he wanted to turn manberg into a crater that same stream as well: [Link])

it's This decision that marks the red festival as a Villainous turn for techno rather than just a Mistake. because he Doubled Down and Refused To Care. because he Hurt Tommy And Tubbo More when tommy wanted an apology. because he Cemented himself as being Unreliable and Uncaring to his allies when they haven't Wronged Him. and he would Never, Never walk back on this decision.

not when he was in his supposedly peaceful retirement arc, not when the butcher army brought it up while they were on his doorstep, not when tommy brought it up while refusing to join techno, not during Doomsday when tommy pointed out that it was a betrayal (killing tommy's best friend doesn't matter, it was Ages ago, but Tommy's the person who needs a lesson on loyalty according to him), and not in his Will (the thing he wrote in case he died and would never get to say anything to anyone ever again) where he mentioned Tommy but not a Word on tubbo.

and we know now that this is because cc!techno doesn't see this as a mistake. he sees His Own Character as the one who was victimized based on False information about the other characters and a lack of reflection on his character's choices and the consequences of them. it tells us that these Aren't intentional character flaws and that therefore we can't expect them to be addressed or for c!techno to grow passed them.

and perhaps more importantly, c!techno and tubbo have just set up an arc where they're going to grow closer to each other looking for michael. tubbo's character is Defined by his trauma that Techno caused (the red festival, doomsday), but they aren't going to be able to address this fact because cc!techno doesn't see himself as responsible. tubbo's Already bent around this by having his character Falsely shift the blame from techno to quackity (misremembering the festival as quackity pushing techno to kill him) so he could dig into his trauma with the festival in the first place. they're going to have tubbo forgive the man who killed and scarred and traumatized him without that man ever recognizing that he may have done something wrong. and that's going to kill me.

so in conclusion ! cc!technoblade made a decision based on what he thought would Look Cool unprepared for that decision to have lasting consequences. he tried to mitigate this by insisting (in character) that it didn't matter and trying to insist that Everybody Else should drop it and stop caring, but that only made his character look Worse and the discourse itself even more volatile. he's now tried to "fix" this by reframing and retconning the event over a year later to make the characters he hurt look worse and turn his character into the victim. this, unsurprisingly, did not assuage the people who have criticisms for his character's actions or give people confidence for his arc to come.

I can only hope that he Genuinely considers the backlash that happened and reaches out to the other streamers to get everything sorted out (or at least digs through my blog, cc!technoblade you may interact but carefully).

#dream smp #technoblade #tubbo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #cc!techno critical #meta #'long post'#anon I hope you see this because I spent Several hours on it straight out of bed

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open

So, @purronronner suggested this on discord:

au where anakin finds out about palpatine during clone wars era like, coming in for a visit and overhears a conversation with Dooku about war planning he’s been pulled between palpatine and the Jedi/obi-wan/various things but I want to see him pulled between palpatine and his men could go either way on the sith part of the reveal even

palpatine is not aware! unless anakin’s course of action is to go “hey palpatine I must have misunderstood something right? :(“

(This was a group effort but there's a thing I wrote that requires this context so please bear with me.)

I'm just imagining Anakin backing out, closing the door, and turning to the Corrie Guard by the door to say a thing... and not finding words.

Eventually "Did you guys know he was evil?" "He's a politician, sir." "But like the evil ranting..." "He's a politician. Sir."

He's willing to use his men to save R2, but that's because R2 was part of the team and helping, not arranging battles to make things worse.

Anakin: Normally, I'd go to Palpatine to talk about my problems, but right now he is the problem... Obi-Wan and Yoda are off-planet.... Anakin, phoning up Padme: Help?

Per @atagotiak we also have some Intense Thoughts

Oh hey. The deception arc. And the subsequent argument that we don't see and stuff. Like there's all the ways you could justify it especially from an opsec standpoint (If Anakin acts like that around Padme why would anyone assume he can keep a secret about anything?) And it was a pretty tactically important thing for the war as far as anyone knew. But just. I've heard some people say that perhaps also Obi-Wan reasoned that hurting Anakin is an ok price to pay to make sure someone Anakin cares for doesn't die for real which seems plausible enough.

Anyways. My point is. Anakin gets a front row seat to sheevception when he actually sorta knows whats going on. Gets sidetracked halfway through yelling and stuff to think about how convoluted this whole mess is.

For more clone-centric things all the times Palpatine's like "I wish I could do more, it's truly regrettable, but..." Would just seem awfully fake now.

Anakin, belatedly: Wait, does this mean that, behind all the layers of bullshit, Palpatine was the one trying to kill Padme at the start of the war???

WHICH IS WHAT LEADS TO A WHOLE LOT OF FUN and yes this is the part I'm sort of proud of.

Okay so: Anakin's a shit liar, yes?

After he meanders over to Padme and has a breakdown, he then goes off to tell the Council about all this. I imagine she goes with him as moral support, and also because she wants to protect him from them calling him out on his legitimately terrible decisions. They're trying to come up with a plan to take Palpatine down without tipping their hands too early, because they need to investigate; for the sake of this plot point, we'll say that Palpatine mentioned a contingency plan while talking to Dooku, even if he didn't directly name the chips.

Someone mentions that Palpatine is going to ask to see Anakin, because he does regularly. And, as experience has shown, there is very little that will stop Palpatine from insisting that Anakin come see him. They can stall for a bit, maybe, but not for long.

"You could send me to the other side of the galaxy," Anakin suggests. "Short notice, so sorry, won't be around for a bit."

They point out that won't work forever.

"So... arrest me, or put me on a mental health hold?" Anakin tries. "Say I got violent at civilians or the clones for no reason and you need to make sure I won't hurt him, and then even if he visits me in the cell, I don't have to act normal 'cause he'll EXPECT me to be upset."

Palpatine presumably has spies all over, so he'd know that hadn't actually happened. Also, Anakin's too important to the war effort for anything short of a cold-blooded murder of an innocent, and they can't just take him off the field without an absolutely massive violation of the Code or his orders.

"Tell him I Fell," Anakin offers.

A Sith Lord would be able to feel that from across the galaxy, if it had happened, especially with the amount of time that he's put into grooming Anakin.

"Oh," Anakin says, and his stomach drops out as he realizes that he can either keep his secrets, or keep people alive.

He thinks about how Palpatine had targeted Padme already, and how if Palpatine thinks Anakin's betrayed him, then he'll probably do that again.

He thinks about 'a Sith Lord would know' and realizes... well.

Anakin values his freedom, but he also values his men, his padawan, his master, his wife... the wife that's in danger if Palpatine knows that Anakin caught him out.

The Order has to keep Anakin away from Palpatine. They need an excuse to arrest him. They need an excuse to hide him away, one that Palpatine won't question too hard.

A Sith Lord would know if Anakin fell. Even if he came back afterwards.

"So... so tell him you found out about the Tusken Massacre."

The what.

"...tell him you found out about the time I actually did Fall," Anakin says, squeezing Padme's hand. She knows. She's the only one who knows, on Coruscant, other than the Sith they're hunting. "On... on Tatooine. You can claim it was an anonymous tip. He already knows about that one. He's one of the only two people outside Tatooine that do. He might not question it."

(He won't question it.)

What did you do, Skywalker.

"I killed... a lot of people. A Tusken tribe. Including the children. Right before the war hit."

----

It's a hell of a way to fall on his figurative sword.

(Mace is... both impressed that Anakin would take the hit to make sure they can handle the Palpatine problem, and horrified about the Massacre, because... who wouldn't be.)

(Mace is unfortunately Anakin's main handler on this project.)

Anakin puts in so much effort, all the time, into not Falling, so it’s surprisingly (terrifyingly!) easy for him to fake a 'near miss' with the Dark just by thinking really hard about things that make him angry. Nobody wants him actually Falling for the ploy if they can help it, but they need to sell the bit, and Anakin's... well. He's Anakin. It's easy to think about his own emotional volatility until any control goes out the window.

He's sacrificing a lot for this mission! It's fine! He's fine!

(Padme, the council is judging you so hard right now.)

Palpatine comes to visit Anakin in prison, and it is very easy for Anakin to disguise his anger as... a different anger. I have a very intense mental image of Anakin working himself up into a frenzy when Palpatine comes to visit, and then at some point in the following conversation he just snaps something about how "you said they were animals who deserved to die."

The Council can even eke it out a bit, make it so they don't want to admit why Anakin's in prison or under a psychiatric hold or whatever they claim it is, so their "I'm hiding something vibes" look like "I'm hiding the fact that one of our most recognizable war heroes just came clean as a mass murderer and we have no idea how to handle it" instead of "I'm hiding that we know you're a Sith Lord and are working to take you down."

Obi-Wan comes back from an off-world mission to find out that Mace arrested his former padawan and Ahsoka hasn't stopped crying for three days because nobody will tell her what's going on.

(The Council decided this couldn't be risked on even an encrypted comm.)

(They maybe tell him soon enough? But also they might treat it like the Hardeen thing and use his reaction as fuel to keep Palpatine convinced.)

SKYGUY GOT ARRESTED AND NOBODY'S EXPLAINING WHY.

Rex is overwhelmed because it's been his job to keep her calm.

Anyway, padawanship has been temporarily transferred to the grandmaster. You were half-training her anyway.

Insert a subplot about Obi-Wan being horrified and betrayed and aiming the feeling at Padme because she knew about the Tuskens and never told.

#Anakin Skywalker #Sheev Palpatine #Obi Wan Kenobi #Padme Amidala #Mace Windu #star wars #the clone wars #Tusken Massacre #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Phoenix Posts

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