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mypoisonedvine · 1 year

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𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭 || (kinda)dark!javier peña x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life... so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 6.5k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || dubcon smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, reader is under the influence and under duress), age gap (not specified but it's big lol but they are of course both adults), dad's best friend trope, pseudo incest (reader calls javi tio/uncle but they are not related), drug use, jealousy, unprotected sex, orgasm control, rough/aggressive sex, we're talking complete total and permanent gut rearrangement, crying during sex (from overstimulation not like, being sad), hair pulling, 'sir' kink (briefly), creampie, basically just a kinky filthy mess idk what else to say

The bass was so loud you could feel it in every part of you— like your own heartbeat, but everywhere. The throbbing music, the heat, the sweat; it was an overwhelming experience, even before you took the pill… but now, it was transcendent.

Everything was lit up in electric colors, neon pink and green blending together into some impossible color you couldn’t describe; the dancers around you had their arms raised in the air, jumping and swaying with the music, and it reminded you of the waves in the Caribbean Sea— you know, the ones you never had time to go see even though you lived just a few miles from the beach.

Frankly, you didn’t have time for this either: you should be studying for midterms, but the stress of college was becoming overwhelming and you were reaching a breaking point.

Or, maybe you already had, considering this was your coping method. It wasn’t your usual approach, but you hadn’t needed anything this drastic before. Maybe it was because you weren’t just escaping from the stress of school, but from the tension at home with your parents.

Perhaps what was most frustrating about that situation was that you were pretty sure they didn’t even realize how badly they were driving you insane… especially your dad. He didn’t see any problem with the fact that he tried to control every aspect of your life, regardless of your age. You could appreciate them not wanting you to do anything dangerous or harmful— you could even understand the whole ‘my house, my rules’ thing to an extent— but it went too goddamn far every day. You couldn’t go anywhere else without being questioned, yet you couldn’t exist at home without being criticized.

That was why you were here, and here, you weren’t being critiqued or belittled or micromanaged— actually, you were very… well-received, to put it lightly. You’d caught more than a few glances this evening, and now you were getting more than that: they were dancing with you, pressing against you… touching you.

It should’ve felt wrong, but you’d been craving approval of any kind, and the lascivious looks up and down from the guy in the indigo silk shirt felt like a compliment when you had a couple drinks in you.

A hand covered in gold rings groped your ass, and you hummed through a wide smile. He spoke into your ear, but even so close you couldn’t hear anything— it didn’t matter, anyways; you nodded, dazed. You figured the pill was enhancing, if not creating, whatever connection you felt with this stranger, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care how risky it was to go home with him, either, you just needed to feel tonight.

The voice in your ear mumbled something about how sexy you are, and you were about to melt into the arms of whoever it was— but then you heard another voice, just behind you. This voice was familiar; this voice spoke your name, and you turned around sharply.

"Tio!" you gasped as Javier glared down at you; you'd never felt so small in your life. He could do that so easily, but usually by giving you a big bear hug or calling you niña; this was a less pleasant method. “I— what are you—?”

“Work,” he answered shortly, yelling just to be heard. “You shouldn’t be here.”

No, you shouldn’t be anywhere that Javi was working, but you especially shouldn’t be here— a nightclub, known for wild hook-ups and party drugs. Dancing with guys. Wearing a dress you picked out specifically because you liked the way it showed off your… everything.

“What would your daddy think if he saw you like this?” he growled, grabbing you by the arm, and you whimpered but gave in to him— no point arguing, or denying anything, now.

He dragged you through the club, out the back where you could talk without the music drowning everything out. It was still loud until the metal door shut on its own behind you— and even still, you could hear the thumping of the bass, catch a few notes of the melody here and there, but you weren’t really focused on that with Javi giving you the glare of a lifetime.

“Never thought you were that kinda girl,” he frowned.

“I swear, I don’t usually do this, I just… I…”

“You what?” he snapped.

“Sorry, I…” you trailed off again. “Kinda out of it right now, and you’re so… that light’s really bright…” you complained as you squinted at the streetlight behind him.

He grabbed your face suddenly, forcing you to look up at him; you couldn’t believe how he could basically hold your entire face— and control your entire body— with one hand. He used his thumb and pointer finger to hold one of your eyes open wider; you winced and tried to move away, but he managed to get a decent enough look anyways.

“Are you fucking high?” he realized with a snarl.

“I— just one pill,” you whimpered.

“What was it?”

“I… I don’t know for sure…”

“Jesus,” he sneered, dropping your face and crossing his arms. He looked away from you, shaking his head, then put his hands on his hips in that disapproving way he did so well. “What were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, “I just never get to do anything fun— don’t you need to be wild sometimes, do something a little misguided?”

“A little misguided— taking drugs from strangers, from men, letting them… touch you like that…” he shuddered as he said the last part.

You gulped, looking down at the ground. You were kind of hoping he hadn’t seen that, somehow…

Grabbing you by the arm again, he all but threw you in his truck; shrinking in the seat, feeling quite shy despite how you’d been acting just a few minutes ago, you watched him walk around the back in the mirror so he could get in the driver’s side.

There was silence as he started the truck and put an arm around your seat to back out of the alley, silence as he started to drive, silence as you went back and forth between looking over at him sheepishly and staring down at your hands in your lap.

But when you looked out the window at the passing scenery, you narrowed your eyes. "You're…not taking me home?" you realized.

"And give your dad a fuckin' heart attack, you coming home at this hour— dressed like that?"

Your heart sank with guilt.

"No, I'll figure out what to do with you later,” he decided. “I'm guessing you snuck out?"

"I… told him I was staying with a friend…"

"Then he must not be expecting you until morning. You can stay at my place."

"Thank you, Tio, I swear I don't usually do this, thank you so much—"

"Hey. I didn't say I wasn't gonna tell him the truth when I bring you back tomorrow."

You swallowed, glancing out the window as your eyes stung.

He sighed as he shut the door, and you sheepishly crossed one arm over your stomach to hold your elbow.

Last time you were in his apartment, it was for some dinner… thing… anyways, your parents were there, as were a bunch of other people they worked with, and you were sure the whole thing would be incredibly fucking boring. It was, for a while, until Javi broke away from the others to talk to you— and he made you laugh, he spared you all the dumb questions about how college was going and talked to you about real stuff: music, dreams, life. You always felt like you could talk to him about the things you could never talk to your parents about…

But you didn’t want to talk to him about this. Especially not when he put his hands on his hips and gave you that stern glare.

“What the hell did you think you were doin’ in a place like that—?” he began but you interrupted with a sigh.

“I’m sorry— I just needed a- a release! You know?” you tried to justify.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes before he glanced away from you; you, meanwhile, looked down with shame. You never expected to feel so guilty for this— if anything, part of you had fantasized about your dad finding out just so you could tell him off in the argument, explain to him that it was his overbearing nature that drove you to something so risque. Of course, now that the likelihood of that argument actually occurring had skyrocketed, it didn’t sound so appealing. “Your dad’s gonna have a cow,” Javi warned you.

“I know! I know,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands for a second. “But I’m an adult! I should be able to do what I want!”

He scoffed a bit, and you frowned defensively. He obviously resented those times you referred to yourself as an adult— even if he couldn’t deny it, he always acted like it didn’t really count. You weren’t a ‘real adult’ yet in his eyes, still being in college and a bit starry-eyed according to some, and that always bothered you. It’s not that you thought you really had it all figured it out at this age, it’s just that you wanted more respect and more acknowledgement of your efforts.

The look on Javi’s face made you pretty confident you wouldn’t be getting much of that tonight. "Just don't tell him, okay? Please, Tio…"

"I won't tell your old man what you're up to," he promised, and you sighed. "But you need to."

"I— I can't," you whimpered, "he'll lose his shit! You know how protective he is…"

"Clearly he's got a good reason!" Javi snapped, and you spun around— you couldn't look at him now, not after he saw you like that.

"He's gonna kill me," you whimpered, defeated.

He stepped up behind you, wrapping one arm over your chest and holding your shoulder. “S’gonna be okay, sweetie…” he mumbled to you. “He’s not gonna kill you— he loves you."

"But he thinks I'm still a little kid," you explained with a pout.

"He can't help that," Javi laughed softly, kissing the side of your head. "You're grown up now, but you're still his little girl…"

You smiled a bit. "You really think I'm grown up?" you asked weakly.

"Yeah," he assured, "not sure how it happened, but you are— still young, of course."

You laughed a bit, relaxing in his embrace, soothed by the familiar smell of his aftershave and his strong hand rubbing your shoulder. Without either of you saying anything, the air somehow shifted… perhaps because of the way he moved his head, and you could tell that he was looking down at you. Perhaps because he let out a long sigh through his nose that fanned over the top of your head.

His voice was as low as a whisper when he spoke again. "Can't believe how grown up you look dressed like that…"

The fingers of his free hand traced over your thigh, even starting to move inwards, and out of both nervousness and ticklishness you clamped your legs together.

"Aww, don't be shy now," he pouted. "You'll be a whore for all those guys but you're playing innocent with me? Don't even try it, baby, I know what you want…"

You sighed out a long, shaky breath as you relaxed your legs so he could reach between them. It didn't really feel real, especially when you shut your eyes— then it could be anyone touching you.

"I know what this sweet little body needs," he continued, almost whispering as he spoke in your ear, making it impossible to forget it was Javi behind you. "Those little boys can't take care of you… need a real man to treat you right."

"Tio," you gasped as one finger just barely brushed over your panties, "d-don't—"

"Don't what, sweetie?"

"Don't… touch me like that," you breathed. "It's wrong…"

"But you like it so much," he noticed with a smile right beside your ear. "You like the way Uncle Javi is touching you— you like all this attention from your Tio, huh?"

Too afraid to respond to that, you shut your eyes tight as you felt him rub you through your panties more firmly, pulling up the bottom of your dress enough to expose the white cotton covering you.

“Still a good girl underneath your slutty outfit,” he smirked.

“What— what are you do—?” you began to breathe out, until he ran the blunt edge of his fingernail over the seam of your lips through the fabric— when he traced over your clit, your whole body jolted.

“Oh, babygirl,” he cooed, “you know what I’m doing. Say it.”

“You’re… touching me…” you panted out, rocking your hips as he began to rub slow circles against your panties— each with more pressure than the last.

“Where?” he prompted, his voice rough and echoing against the curve of your neck, which he began to kiss passionately a moment later just to make it that much harder for you to speak.

“My… fuck, my pussy!” you managed to get out, and he groaned with pride as his teeth brushed against your pulse.

He suddenly let you go and spun you around, pressing you to the wall and then pressing himself to you in turn. The hard bulge against your hip made your walls throb, but his face made your heart drop— you couldn’t forget it was him, and it felt so fucked up knowing he had just done that to you. You opened your mouth to tell him this couldn’t happen, that it had already gone too far, that you needed to somehow forget this ever happened.

But no words came out; they couldn’t, when he delicately lifted your chin so you had to stare right at the darkness in his eyes.

He moved closer, closer, until instinct forced your hands to jump up to his chest— god his chest, it was so firm and tanned and you swore you could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt— and stopped him from kissing you. “What’s the matter?” he asked softly.

What kind of dumbass question was that?! What’s the matter? Your Tio Javi, your dad’s best friend since forever, the guy who bought you your first bike and taught you how to whistle— that guy, calling you a whore and kissing your neck and touching you down there?! God, you knew you were messed up over this because you were mentally referring to your equipment as down there, like you were a little kid again.

But by god, you were not a little kid. Clearly, he knew that better than you thought he did. But you couldn’t believe this was really happening— it felt like a dream, but too terribly real.

What’s the matter, he asks, like you couldn’t spend all night listing everything wrong about this. You only gave him one reason aloud, though: “My dad will kill me.”

He smirked, a short laugh coming more out of his nose than his mouth. “Only if he finds out,” he replied. “Are you gonna tell on me, niña?”

Though very little, you shook your head.

“Are you gonna tell him that I brought you here and touched you like that?” he continued, voice lower and rougher, fingers dancing over your hip again. “Are you gonna tell your daddy how you got on your knees for me, let me fuck you like a whore, creamed on my cock over… and over…”

You shuddered as he left the softest trail of kisses up your neck.

“...and screamed my name until you lost your voice?”

"Fuck," you sighed, melting into his arms as he held you at your waist— his hands were so big that you felt especially delicate when he held you. "Javi, we… we shouldn't…"

"But you want to so bad, sweetie," he noticed with a fake pout. "You're a half-second from begging me to teach you how grown-ups fuck, I can tell."

Your thighs clenched together and he smirked.

"Just kiss me," he encouraged softly, lifting your chin with his fingers. "Just kiss me, baby, and I'll show you. I'll give you whatever you want."

You hesitated, looking up at his warm brown eyes, admiring his face and lingering over his lips… they did look perfectly kissable…

Shutting your eyes, you leaned forward and kissed him; instantly, he turned it from an innocent peck to a hungry gnashing of lips and teeth, his tongue dominating your mouth and muffling your moans.

His hands ran all over you and he started to guide you to walk with him— he turned you both and walked backwards down the hallway, dragging you until you toppled into his bed together.

"Lay back, baby," he instructed as he climbed over you, "your Tio's gonna make you feel so fucking good, sweetie… gonna fuck you like you need, I promise."

He sat up, almost making you want to chase for more of that kiss, but he reached up under your dress and pulled your soaked panties down your legs.

"Oh my god, look at this cute little pussy," he purred, spreading your lips apart and tracing up the seam of your cunt to find your bud. He traced it gently with his thumb— even the softest, slowest circles over it made you shiver and whine. "Sensitive, too. Poor baby, need me that bad?"

He crouched down lower, and you whimpered with anticipation. "Javi…" you mumbled nervously.

Before he even put his mouth on you, he leaned in close and took a deep breath through his nose. "Smells fuckin' perfect," he grunted, and you moaned just because he said that. "Can't wait to taste you, niña, been waiting too long…"

You wanted to ask if he'd been waiting longer than just tonight, but you were distracted by the wet, sloppy kiss he gave you, right on your aching clit. Instantly your back arched and your mouth fell open into a silent scream.

He was painfully, infuriatingly good at this— like second nature, he just looked up at you and watched while his tongue traced your clit exactly how you needed. You could just tell he did this all the time, that he had made his fair share of women scream and sob and beg with that tongue; you writhed and whimpered, shutting your eyes tight so you wouldn't have to see him looking up at you anymore.

He devoured you with wide, hungry licks, his mouth overwhelming you and his nose poking at the apex of your mound. You could feel his long sigh fan over your sensitive skin when he kept his mouth wide open, lapping at you desperately; you’d never seen him this… lacking in composure. This animalistic. It made you feel hot all over.

Maybe the only thing more embarrassing than how quickly you barrelled towards your peak was how easily he recognized it.

"Wanna come, baby?"

He only broke away from you just long enough to groan it out, and then he was right back to making you squirm and sob. "Yes, fuck, please!"

"Beg," he ordered, muffled by your clit in his mouth, eating away at you mercilessly.

"Fuck, Javi— please make me come with your— with your tongue, I— I've never come from that before, fuck it feels really good… please…"

He hummed around you, suckling harder at your throbbing bud.

"Oh— f-fuck, I wanna— please," you choked, "I'm so close…"

You felt him smile, and then you felt him do this thing with his tongue that made your thighs quiver around his head.

"Please, can I?" you whimpered.

He pulled away, but you could still feel his breath fanning over you and it made your walls tense up. "I like you asking for permission," he praised, "do it again."

"Please let me come," you groaned, arching your back when he latched onto you again. "I'm so close, just don't stop, please don't fucking stop—"

He didn't, which you took as permission— not that it really mattered since it was inevitable now with or without his blessing— and you shut your eyes tight as the electric feeling danced all over your body. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you only caught one more glimpse of him staring up at you with a scalding heat in his eyes.

Instantly it became too much, the sensations his tongue delivered to your clit painfully forcing your whole body to spasm. Gasping, you grabbed at his hair and sputtered out: “Stop, stopstopstop—”

He broke away and dropped your hips back down onto the bed, his smile glistening with your come. An instant later he sat up to start opening his belt, that grin turning suddenly into a snarl. You looked up at him with wide eyes, still trying to catch your breath, dizzy even as you just laid there watching him lick your wetness off his lips. “Need to fuck you,” he said, simple as that.

You still couldn’t really believe this was happening; the effects of the pill were mostly faded, but this felt like some bizarre dream anyways. Seeing him like this was just beyond surreal.

“Flip over— hands and knees,” he instructed firmly while he unbuttoned his jeans. You wanted to remind him that this was insanely wrong, that you thought of him like family and thought he saw you the same way— but then you remembered that what you’d done tonight was wrong too, and that he was your only hope of getting away with it and avoiding being locked in your room for the rest of your life.

"Shouldn't you… shouldn't we use a condom?" you suggested softly, and he smirked a little.

"We don't need that," he assured.

Doing as you were told, though it took some effort on shaky legs, you stared down at Javi’s bed under you— you’d seen it before, even slept in it before (though when that happened, he always took the couch), but it felt incredibly different now.

Speaking of things that felt incredibly different: getting fucked by your tio. He held your hips and pushed his cock into you, and you whimpered loudly as the stretch challenged you right from the start. You heard a soft moan from behind you, a needier sound than you expected from him, but it was drowned out quickly by your own cry as he buried himself in you completely. “Mm,” he hummed, fingers digging deeper into the plush of your ass as he stayed still for just a moment. “That’s good…”

Shivering, even though you were hot enough to sweat, you hid your face with a quiet whine right as he started to thrust— with a lot less patience than you expected.

"You're not embarrassed, are you?" he wondered, petting the back of your head as if trying to coax you out of the pillows. "Actin' all shy… what have you got to be shy about? Getting fucked on all fours like a slut, the fuck you acting innocent for now?"

"Please just slow down—" you gasped, reaching back behind yourself to try to grab his thigh.

"Hell fucking no, this is what you wanted," he groaned.

Whining, tears stung your eyes and you just tried to hold onto the bunches of his sheets in your fists.

"Wanted me for a while, didn't you? Dressing up all sexy when I came over for dinner, showing off how much you've grown… didn't even wear a bra, I could see your tits getting hard, wondered if it was because you were turned on. Turned on by your Tio…"

You weren't blind, you knew Javier was attractive, and you knew he did well with women— but you honest to God never thought about him like that. He was just your Tio Javi.

And now he was pushing you down between your shoulder blades to shove your face into the bed. Whimpering, you gave in, but the angle forced his cock even deeper and made you arch your back up with a yelp. "Shh shh, no baby, need to take it all," he scolded you softly as he pushed your back down. "Need to keep that ass up for me— show Tio that ass, good girl…"

It was hard to stay like this when it meant letting his cock hit way too deep— it hurt, and you sobbed with every thrust. "Please, s'too much, I need a break—"

"A break? We just started," he laughed. "You can get a break after I come, but you're gonna be in this bed all night showin' me why I should keep your secret."

"God, you're just so deep," you whined, "it hurts…"

"Yeah, but it feels good too, doesn't it?"

Even though you somehow felt guilty, you nodded.

"Yeah," he encouraged again, "you like getting fucked like this, baby. Never had your whole pussy used? Never had a cock this deep?"

So deep that it shot up your spine and made the back of your eyes burn? No, you'd never felt this before; you sobbed with pleasure, already totally overwhelmed.

He grunted as he increased his pace, already picking up speed each time his hips collided with yours; the bed was creaking a bit, too.

"Fuck," you gasped, toes curling. His cock’s fat head was pressing into something so painfully deep inside you, and just as much as it made you want to beg him to give you a little mercy, it made you feel like screaming for more and praying this could never end.

You heard him grunt as he fucked you even faster; he must have heard you sniffling, in turn, tears falling from your eyes near-silently as the pleasure overwhelmed your body. "What are you crying for? Never had a big dick like this, huh?" he chuckled. "Then just say so."

"I never… I-I've never had a… a dick this big before…"

"Mm," he hummed with approval, grabbing a handful of your ass and tilting his head so he could get a better view of his cock plunging into your hole. "Never been stretched out like this? That's too bad, I can tell you fuckin' needed it. Went out tonight cause you needed some dick, huh? Well you got more than you bargained for, honey, it's too much for this little pussy isn't it?"

"Yes!" you sobbed.

"Can't take all this?"

"Yes, Tio, please—"

"Don't tell me to slow down again," he warned. “I know what you need, sweetie.”

He grabbed you by your hair and forced your head back. "Ow!" you yelped instinctively. "Fuck, Javi!"

"Act like a slut and you're gonna get fucked like one," he reminded you, a frustrated sigh falling from his mouth. His pace quickened once more, thrusts coming faster until the sound of his hips and thighs smacking against your ass filled the room.

"I'm sorry," you choked, "I'm sorry, okay?"

"For what?"

"D-doing drugs," you listed, "going to clubs— acting like a s-slut…"

"Fuck," he grunted, "it's okay, baby, I'm gonna— god— gonna make it all better… gonna teach you how to be my good girl, okay?”

You whimpered as you nodded. “Please…”

Another tug on your hair made you whine and arch your back, letting yourself go a bit more limp in his grip as each thrust rocked your body. “First,” he began, “you need some discipline.”

The hand on your hip let go to give you a sudden spank on your ass; you yelped and jolted, the pain somehow only adding to your pleasure a second after the initial sting had faded.

“Your daddy never gave you enough of that— discipline,” Javi chuckled, “I warned him he was gonna spoil you. Guess I was right, look at you now?”

He smacked your ass again, hard enough that you cried loudly— probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. That thought made your face burn with embarrassment. Anyone who shared a wall with Javi had probably heard his bed partners before, heard women screaming his name— why did that thought make you feel sick and sad and empty?

Of course, you were anything but empty, you were full to the brim and it felt like he might split you in half each time he pressed his hips to yours. “Once you get some discipline,” he continued, “you need to start doin’ what you’re told.”

“Y-yes, sir,” you choked out. You almost screamed when the hand that had been holding your hip slipped down to search between your legs; he grunted a bit as he roughly found your clit and rubbed it in fast circles.

“Then you need to learn some manners,” he continued, “like sayin’ thank you when I touch this pretty pussy for you.”

“Thank you,” you blurted out, your voice hoarse and wobbly— even weaker than you felt. Your hips were instinctively trying to buck away, running from the amount of raw sensation forced upon you, but you were trapped by the strength of his arm.

All at once it all changed: he slowed his pace, though he went just as deep if not deeper with each movement; he leaned down and pressed his chest to your bare and sweaty back, putting his lips against your ear; he kept touching your clit, but the circles were slower, smoother… sweeter. “S’that better, sweetie?” he whispered roughly. “Is that how you need it?”

Biting your quivering lip, you nodded; you fought another wave of tears that burned at the back of your eyes, but you were less embarrassed to cry now than you thought you would be. You’d cried in front of Javi before, plenty of times— skinned knees, dumb boyfriends, failed tests, he’d been around for plenty of that. Obviously, this was much more vulnerable than anything that had come before, and yet it felt bizarrely natural… he pulled out this side of you so easily, a side you didn’t even know existed.

“Such a good girl,” he cooed at you gently, kissing the curve of your jaw, and you finally stopped trying to stop yourself from shaking (it wasn’t working anyways). “So good for me…”

Everything was so blurry now, you barely even noticed him guiding you to lay down and roll over: you just noticed him pulling out, and pouted a little as if you actually thought he might just stop completely for no reason.

Noticing your displeasure, he smirked proudly. "Just wanna see that pretty face, sweetie," he soothed. But when he pushed back in, the new position made everything feel new— and, somehow, even more perfect.

"Fuck, Javi, s'really deep…" you mumbled, though it was deep in a different way than before— not as painful, yet even more mind-numbing.

"Uh huh?" he taunted. "Never had somebody fuck you right, baby?”

You shook your head. You had no idea it could be like this— you thought it was normal not to come, for the guy to jackhammer for a few minutes and leave. You didn't even know you could make noises like this…

"Say it again," he encouraged with a moan, watching your face intently.

"It's really… really deep…" you breathed, legs shaking as he held your hips down and tried to get even deeper; he started to grind up against you to force every last millimeter inside, roughly rubbing his pubic bone on your sore clit.

You squealed, barely able to take all this sensation, and he flared his nostrils. "What's really deep?"

"Your cock," you clarified.

"Whose cock?" he taunted.

"Yours, Javi, fuck! Stop asking me questions when I can barely fucking think!" you whined, and he laughed as he returned to his original motions.

“Just one more,” he promised. “Gonna come for me, niña?”

“Yes, yes,” you admitted through a choked sob.

He leaned down, blanketing his body over yours. "Call me Tio when I make you come," he whispered his demand in your ear, and you shuddered.

Each thrust was faster than the last, harder too, and you sobbed as heavy pulses of pleasure took control of your body. "I'm so close, I'm so fucking close," you panted, unable to speak above a whisper.

"I know, I know," he soothed, kissing your face with more tenderness than you expected or felt you deserved.

"I— please—"

"Shh, you're doing so good…"

It all collapsed at once. "I'm— fuck, I'm coming! Tio, I'm coming!"

He growled and latched his lips onto your neck, fucking you through it; your pussy pulsed in an erratic pattern, a new slickness coating him and running down your thighs. You would've been self-conscious about staining his bed if you had any room in your brain for it— but you couldn't think about anything, you even forgot to breathe for a couple seconds. "Good girl," he groaned, "coming nice and hard for me. Good fucking girl."

Suddenly, your arms wrapped around his shoulders— his broad, heavy shoulders, barely damp with sweat— and your shaking fingers dug into his skin. You hugged him tightly, maybe to keep yourself grounded as convulsions rocked through you, maybe for a little comfort through such an excruciatingly ecstatic sort of feeling.

When it all seemed to gather right in your gut, it finally slowed down and you went all but limp under him— though your arms stayed draped over his neck.

"Fuck, Javi," you moaned lowly, his thrusts faster and less even as he looked down at you with an exhausted smile of his own.

"Fuck, I wanted to make you come again," he admitted, "but I can't last much longer— you're too fuckin' tight, baby, little pussy's too fuckin' good, gonna make me come…"

"Please," you whined, partially out of submission and acceptance of your desire to make him come, partially out of excitement for a chance to breathe after he finished.

"Gonna come inside you," he warned suddenly, and you gasped.

"Wait, pull out," you pleaded, a small bit of your sanity coming back as the height of your pleasure had passed, "come on my face o-or something…"

He grinned when you said that, and you sort of regretted it. "That's cute," he decided, "but I wanna fill this pussy— see you nice and stuffed with my come— and I know you want that too, baby…"

You whined, hating how right he was, but you panted as you tried not to let the pleasure completely override your logical reasoning. "But I'm not— I don't—"

"I'll get you a pill in the morning," he promised, his voice rough and needy as he fucked you even faster— he hissed in his breaths through his teeth, almost snarling at you. "Fuck, I'm so close— tell me who owns this pussy now, princess."

"Yours, Javi, it's yours," you sobbed, hating how true that really was. "Yours to fill— you can come inside me, Tio, nobody's ever…"

You didn't even finish the thought, and he moaned as his grip on your hip tightened. He seemed pleased by the fact that you'd never been creampied before, even more excited to empty himself into you. "Beg," he ordered.

"I— I want you to come," you blurted out, not really sure what you were doing and struggling to put a thought together anyways. "Please, I want… want it inside—"

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck," he rushed, and a moment later he stopped as deep as he could go, letting you feel every pulse as he filled you.

You gasped, almost wanting to squirm away out of instinct and try to stop him from filling you, but he held you down and kept you helpless.

"God, yes," he moaned in a breath, grunting as he started to grind his hips on yours to get himself that slightest fraction of an inch deeper.

He let his weight relax onto you and though it made it tricky to breathe, you just accepted it, finally shutting your exhausted eyes.

You were probably more than half of the way to sleep when he brought you back to reality by carefully rolling off of you; you winced as he pulled out, first from the soreness and then from the gush of sticky heat you felt coming out a moment later…

Javi stayed on his side, propped up on one bent elbow, and looked down at what you could only assume was a completely gaping pussy— and all his come leaking out.

He swiped two fingers through the mess he'd made, letting them linger on your throbbing clit until your hips jolted away; smiling, he brought the fingers to his lips and tasted his own come from your hole. "Fuck, Javi," you sighed, taken aback by the erotic, sudden gesture.

"You wanna taste too, princess?" he smirked, moving his fingers back to your pussy— but this time he didn't just scoop up what was leaking out. No, he suddenly slid two fingers into your incredibly sore cunt, making you wince from the sting and watching your face carefully with a sigh.

When he pulled his fingers out, after twisting them around inside you for a moment, they were coated in both of you. His free hand held your chin and tilted your mouth how he wanted it, guiding you to take both his fingers onto your tongue.

"Lick it off— good girl, like that…"

His praise made your exhausted walls clench just one more time.

"Taste how good we are together, baby?" he cooed. "You did so good for me… I haven't come like that in a long time."

I haven't come like that ever, you wanted to reply, but your mouth was full. When his fingers were cleaned off, he laid down beside you and wrapped you up in his arms. The strangeness of it hit you again: you, him, naked in bed… you still couldn't quite believe it was real.

"How much sleep do you need before you can go again?"

You widened your eyes and looked at him, amazed to see that he clearly wasn't joking. "Again? Javi, I'm gonna be sore for weeks already—"

"You're young, you can bounce right back," he promised, "I bet in a couple hours your pussy's gonna be even tighter than it was when we started."

You bit your lip. "I guess I can— I mean, maybe one more time, if you let me sleep a little first…"

He smiled and kissed your head, making you sigh and hide your face in his neck. He smelled the same, that's what was so weird— he smelled like he always had, the same aftershave as you remembered from all those years ago, and now you were naked and sore and used. "Okay, sweetie, get some sleep," he offered. "I'll wake you up when I'm ready to give you another load— I bet you're gonna like the way I wake you up, too."

As he chuckled lowly, kissing your neck right by your ear, you shut your eyes and tried to ignore how bizarre this was so you could rest.

His fingers gently tickled your thigh, tracing random shapes that left goosebumps behind, and whispered praises in your ear to lull you to sleep. "That's my good girl," his low, gentle voice blended in with the growing darkness of slumber.

Even mostly asleep and exhausted like you'd never been before, you got the sense that being his good girl was on ordeal that lasted more than just one night. In fact, you hoped it did.

#javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #javier pena x you #javier pena dark fic #dark!javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #narcos fic #narcos fanfiction

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sunnie-writes · 6 months

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cupid's chokehold.

pairing: jax x cupid!gn!reader

tags & tropes: fluff, shameless flirting, fell first/fell harder

summary: you were absolutely confused because of two things: one, you got transported to a random dimension and became a totally different person, gaining the title of a cupid, and two, you had fallen in love at first sight with the most sarcastic purple rabbit man ever. well, at least you didn't felt like complaining on the second part.

tell me, sunnie!!: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA... anyways, hiiiii:3 i got a new fandom added to my brain, injected it into my veins and now i am addicted. so, this funky little guy didn't actually catch my attention at first but then i watched some edits and was like "HMMMMMM i mean yeah sure" and then i decided to check tumblr, stumbled on a fic of him and went "OH. OH." yk?? anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this bc i wrote it instead of sleeping and i have to wake up early tomorrow el oh el!!1!1!1!1

warnings?: kissing, suggestive(?) i mean it's just neck biting but idk........

first of all, you don't know how the hell you are... here, nor why you've been stuck in this place for two weeks already.

it's a colorful world, saturated to the maximum amount possible. you know, the type to burn your eyes if you stare at a specific spot for too long. it also looked like some kind of fever dream, with all the toys scattered and the way different people? characters? looked like.

not like you can say much, you have heart shaped pupils and you're wearing something that looks like an ancient greece tunic. also, sandals. you have these big feathered white wings that are a pinkish hue at the tip of every single feather. you tried pulling one out to see if it was actually real, resulting in a yelp from your mouth. it kinda hurts.

and that reaction caused a chuckle to come from someone who has your eyes dedicated to just admiring them.

frankly speaking, if you went back and told your past self that by putting those weird vr headset glasses on you would be signing up to falling for a tall and lanky purple rabbit with a yellow smile, you would probably just chuckle and still do it, but with even more determination than before. eh, what can you say? you've always been attracted to the weirdest characters anyways.

but this... this was real, he was real and he was talking to other real weird animated people. ragatha rambled next to you about... honestly, you didn't even know, too busy watching from afar a certain rabbit. this was the start to possibly one of your most frustrating crushes ever.

"[name]? are you okay? you seem more distracted today?" she worriedly asked, putting her hand on your shoulder, "you shouldn't think too much about trying to find an exit if that's what you're thinking about, you might get abs-"

"huh? no, i wasn't thinking about that!" you quickly hurried to give an explanation, trying to dismiss that idea from her, but your eyes darted again to the overall wearing guy and she followed your gaze.

she slowly moved her head back at you after seeing what you were so... distracted about. a smirk broke in her face.

"oooh, little [nickname] has a cruuush?" ragatha teased you.

"wha- no- that's not-" before you could continue, your flushed cheeks got even more red as you saw him approaching. you immediately shut your mouth and just looked at the floor, trying to quickly hide your face

"sup', what are you two gossiping about today?" jax spoke in a mocking, sultry tone that had melting down a drain... not literally though.

"oh, nothing. you know, just the usual!" ragatha quickly tried to hide that topic from him, trying to distract or something. play it cool!

"uh-huh, and why is little cupid over here heating up like a preheated oven?" you almost choked on spit before looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and slightly flushed cheeks.

"none of your business, jax, don't bring your teasing and mocking over to [name]!"

"aww, why not?" jax dropped his hand on your shoulder, "say, little cupid, i heard doll face over here mentioning a crush, who do ya' have the hots for?"

your mind instantly went to answer "you" internally z meanwhile, your lips just answered in an almost quiet sound.

"i'm not telling you."

"huh, and why is that?" he leaned in close, and suddenly you felt absurdly claustrophobic.

he looks so... absurdly attractive with that smirk. you wish you could wipe it off of his face.

"because..." it doesn't take too long to come up with an excuse, you're an overthinker who is always prepared for this kind of situation, "you would mock me for it, and i don't feel like getting bullied by a purple beanpole."

"gasp, you wound me with your hateful words!" he dramatically posed, meanwhile ragatha chuckled in the background. "how can a cupid, made of pure love, be this mean?"

you just lightly punched him in the arm at that.

---

night time seemed like a blur to you in this world. sleep? never heard of that.

it's been a month already and your crush hasn't faltered. instead, it got bigger each day, but to be fair, it was impossible for it to not grow. jax decided that, for some reason, he liked teasing you a bit too much since he found out you might have a crush on someone.

playful flirting seemed to be his favorite to use on you, since you just tried your best to not show how it actually affected you. honestly, you felt like some kind of cliche teenager movie where you're about to write his name on a notebook with hearts all around it.

and that felt too cheesy, even for a cupid.

---

oh my stars, he wishes it's him.

you know, at first when you arrived at the digital circus, jax paid no mind to you. i mean, yeah, you were probably the cutest person in this digital purgatory, but he didn't think that he could fall for anyone in here, this isn't some weird sitcom episode. but it was starting to get difficult to not let him lose himself in a romantic trance when you were around.

he wonders if you used anything on him that could've possibly made him slowly fall for you, hard.

in the second week, he began noticing things about you. for example, you laughed at his jokes and sarcastic personality, got irritated for his pranks but never screamed at him, just shrugging it off like normally, you didn't even care when he stole something from your room.

it was mind breaking to just try and see what could get a reaction out of you towards him. until it was revealed that you had a crush on someone in that place.

jax isn't dumb, he already caught you looking at him from afar just to fastly change your gaze and get flustered, how your hands trembled when you were near him, heart eyes expanding when he talked to you. so, just to test if his theory was real, he decided to leave a subtle flirt for you. and that was checkmate.

he thought at first that it was weird, that maybe he could just play with you a little bit and entertain your little crush on him. but then, the spell turned against him. you flirted back once, and that made him feel awfully fuzzy minded. now, he was the one staring at you from afar sometimes.

that wasn't in his plans, falling for you even harder than you fell for him wasn't supposed to happen. yet, it did anyway.

and now the realization dawned on him that, at some point, he's going to have to either confess or simply hide that for forever, since that's the time they're gonna be stuck in the same dimension together. how fun, isn't it?

---

your feet took you outside of the tent, as everybody was now sleeping comfortably in their own rooms. well, at least you thought they were. stepping onto the grass and breathing in some fresh air, you looked up, waved at the sun and the moon, who smiled back at you contently. then you finally sat down and layed on the saturated green ground, looking up at the fake stars.

you sighed heavily, trying to distract your worried mind that screamed about wanting to get out and at the same time never wanting to leave. it was downright confusing, and left you with pent up energy that made your brain go 100/mph.

you heard footsteps behind you, looking up just to meet with a yellow smile and cartoonish eyes. you immediately gulped as his smirk grew.

"heyyy little cupid, what are you doing here so late?" he questioned you with a lower tone of voice before sitting down by your side. you immediately sat up too.

"just... thinking about some stuff." not losing any chance, you tried to start a conversation. "what about you?"

"meh, just bored and couldn't sleep." jax then looked at you in the eyes. "what could you possibly be thinking about?"

"ah, you know... just the usual!" you tried to quickly change topics, you didn't feel like traumadumping on anyone today nor did you feel like telling him that he's the reason you didn't abstract yet.

"and, does the usual involve your secret little crush?"

your breathe hitches, "why are you so curious about who i like?"

"i just am, it's interesting to see your reactions when i mention them." he leaned down, holding his head with his hand as he still stared at you. "why don't you tell me who it is? i'm starting to get the wrong idea that it's me since you refuse to speak about the mystery person to me."

you think you just felt your heart stop. your eyes go wide and you can feel the heat coursing through your body, blood rushing and flushing your cheeks. you know what? okay then, since there is no escape from this situation, might as well finish the night with a bang before you leave to sleep.

"that's... not the wrong idea at all." you confessed, watching as his eyes went wide in a millisecond.

"what." he spoke before sitting up and grabbing your shoulders. "you're not fucking with me, are ya?"

you shook your head while embarrassingly looking to the floor, feeling frustration pooling in your head.

"no, i'm not. i like you jax, i like your stupid pranks, your stupid jokes, your mischievous smile, your ey-" you were cut off by lips meeting with yours.

as your current situation settled in your mind, you got yourself comfortable and closes your eyes, lacing your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer before you two fell back again, you under him. your stomach was doing backflips, breaking down at the feeling of being reciprocated.

when you finally broke apart, your heart eyes were absurdly big, staring at him while you panted for air. he chuckled at your face, giving a big smile while himself was actually melting at finally having you in his arms. jax laid his head on between your neck and your shoulder. you petted his head, until you felt something.

he was biting your neck, leaving love bites and hickeys behind.

first of all, you didn't even knew if he could open his mouth, but apparently he could (?). you couldn't think much of it, too busy holding back an embarrassing whimper. you held his head and tried not to close your legs around his waist as he continued to bite.

he pulled back, looking at you with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"well, look what a mess i've done, darlin'. how do ya' feel?"

you couldn't even answer, feeling absolutely overwhelmed by his hand on your waist, the knee resting between your legs and your mind slowly losing it's control. instead of an answer, you just pulled him down for another kiss.

yeah, you probably were enjoying that, but jax? ha! in his mind, he was melting down a drain, patting himself in the back for the idea of deciding to take a night walk and accidentally seeing you. he grinned into the french kiss, feeling absurdly high at the moment.

he wasn't sure how everyone would react to you finally being his, not that he cared about their opinion, but he thinks if would be funny to see their faces. he can't wait for it to happen, but now it's not time to think about that.

it's time for him to think on how to calm his rapidly beating heart that might give you the hint that he loves you way more than you love him.

tell me, sunnie!!: AAAAA i finished writing this only the next day, sorry if it's too short btw!! i know it missed a lot and should have more things but it was rlly rushed bc i want to write more of him <\33 but yeah, thank you for reading sunshine!!

#sunnie's fics!!#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc jax #jax x reader #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus jax #jax imagine #jax

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posebean · 8 months

Text

fantasys your alkaloid‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ref sheet of alkaloid for my alkakurei fantasy au that i totally didnt abandon crazy:B here (notes abt world+magic system and other stuff on that post)

stuff abt their outfits and etc under read more

hiiro is fresh from his village baby boy left to go find his nii-san with only his clothes and a trusty satchel at his side- he just goes around looking for his nii-san and etcetc idk how long the gap is but he finds tatsumi and mayo and stays with them for some time and during that time tatsun gets him a coat because baby boy literally only has those and hes just been doing work for some guild (idk how to explain bc guilds require education but i guess tatsun pulled strings for him) so he has money to live while also looking for his nii-san and sometimes he has to go to cold places and one time he comes home after a job in a cold place and hes sick and tatsun is like hiiro-san please take this jacket with you :..) so now hiiro has a coat custom-made for him :3! he's good with elemental magic (the 5 core elements water wind fire earth plant) very versatile and a skilled little guy (not as talented as his nii-san but no one is as talented as nii-san!) anyways yadda yadda he gets a message or smth and is preparing to leave tatsun and mayo but (spoilers for meru fic) meru points him towards the town where everyone else is and yea he goes and finds his nii-san and now his goal has changed from find nii-san to convince nii-san to go back home but he befriends everyone else too and i think they do eventually go on some kind of adventure together maybe more the three younger ppl aira hiiro and kohaku

aira is a little silly fellow he dresses nicely (very inspired by fs2 but i cant stop looking at it and thinking damn he french colored......) and loves magic so much he admires all the grand mages and everyone in the upper echelons and loves watching other people cast spells and such unfortunately for him while he has a decently high innate talent, his control is God Awful which results in magic never going well for him- with no control at all, literally negative control, he can try to cast one spell and something completely different will be cast instead- and the skill level varies too it's literally just a roll of a dice for him if he tries to cast a simple flame spell he might end up flooding the room with a wall of water, it's that bad kkshfkj also he acts like he doesn't like it but he actually loves rabuhan-junior so much he secretly spoils the hamster named after him and rabuhan junior loves him back rabuhan-junior likes to sleep in his hat or on aira's head whenever kohaku goes out and leaves rabu-han junior with aira tatsun has very normal clothes bro dresses like a dad (did you know both of his fs have the same color palettes i didnt but using them as reference made me realize, anyways-) his clothes are very comfortable and easy to move around in, especially given his injury from [spoiler event here ]. he also has a cane and his injured leg has pain suppressor sigils and bandages wrapped all over it his leg isn't completely unusable like its not broken or anything its more like. a kind of necrosis like if you unwrapped it there would be a dark mark thats like icky and sometimes it flares up and hurts tatsun so much that he falls over and :( he found the cane one day in the catacomb (wonder who put it there) he added the begonia himself as a reminder of his sin... shiro is his little mouse familiar that he conjured with the help of kaname! she's a sweet little thing, often found sleeping on an open book on tatsumi's desk. she has the tatsumi-colored ears and legs because she was conjured up rather than a pact familiar. regarding magic tatsun is pretty average on both control and power, but that doesnt really matter because most of the spells he uses are passive spells more used for healing/doing work. he likes to garden and has a beautiful garden of all kinds of flowers at the chapel :) he just doesn't dare touch the flowers in the catacomb, because he knows someone else already takes care of those also that purple gem hanging around his neck is a gift from mayomayo it doesn't do anything and has no magic but tatsun still likes it :) mayomayo dresses in all dark colors because he believes that if he always dresses in dark colors no one will ever have to be bothered by seeing his existence he comes from a lineage that practices forbidden magic, not necessarily all dark but some of the more ... interesting spells . something happens in his past and he ends up leaving, taking with him his tome and well. proceeding to get chased by all kinds of monsters out in the wild because for some reason he just attracts all kinds of beasts poor guy magic-wise he does have the forbidden magic from his family but he more specializes in healing and curse removal- he doesn't dare do anything else for fear of (redacted). besides, maybe he'll one day be able to actually save somebody instead of hurting them, maybe his existence would be worth it some day. the ribbon in his hair (the green/teal one) is from tatsun :) he said mayo would look good in brighter colors and mayo disagreed so tatsun gave it to him and now its become part of his outfit and (i combust into a thousand bits ) also because of that mayo feels like he has to give tatsun something back so thats why he gives tatsumi a purple gem he had that used to hang from his spell tome anyways i still love this au very much and i hope you enjoyed now i will proceed to forget about it again /j i still really wanna write kohaku's fic and then maybe one last one for rinne-kun or smth because aghghj there's still so much that's not developed yet but (explodes)

#enstars #alkaloid #hiiro amagi #aira shiratori #tatsumi kazehaya #mayoi ayase #fantasyau #bean art #look at rabuhan-junior he is so small please love him

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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if your taking requests then can i get an mcyt hcs of a s/o with long hair that's curly but like in a taylor swift debut type curly not like a barrel curls type way. anyway so their s/o's hair is like mega wild and they just never really style it, they brush it and take care of it but just not like sit down and style it, and so their hair is almost always down naturally and just how they'd react to it

yes of course!! thanks for the request, I rlly like this one :D hopefully I got everyone you're looking for here lol 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; you have long & curly hair

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, freddie badlinu, niki nihachu, quackity, and foolish gamers

warnings ; language

y/f/c = your favorite color

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

absolutely loves your hair

he loves playing with it & he loves losing his hands in the density

he never asks to style your hair or anything because he doesn't know shit about it, but he likes being walked through how you care for it

at one point he randomly blurts out "you know, I've never seen you style your hair before"

"What, do you want me too?"

you guys have this whole little (civilized) conversation about your hair and how you prefer to wear it down instead of trying to fight with it

he gets interested if he can try and style it himself for you because he thinks you'd look so awesome with some styles

you shrug and let him

he does some simple stuff, needing your help to braid and whatever

he does a waterfall braid, then tries out some small, simple updos and two French braids

after that you go outside while the sun is sitting and take a bunch of pretty pictures of each other

he absolutely loves your hair, natural or styled

he loves learning about how you take care of it and you let him help you do so as well

he just likes watching you do stuff with your hair in general, and likes asking questions on what everything does

such a sweetheart fr

TUBBO

he sees, even the fact you never style it, your hair as a way that you express yourself

he swears when you're having a sick, sad, or tired day, your hair reflects it. it's a little less shiny and bouncy, as he says

idk he's got some weird sixth sense for you and your curls

but he also loves learning about how you take care of your hair and what everything in the products and what all the tools do

"have you ever thought about styling it?"

you shrug "I guess, I just don't like having to tussle with it everyday, I'd rather just pull it back or wear it down how it is"

he nods in response

he has a whole notes page of everything you use and when you're running low, he reorders it just in perfect time

he makes sure to get the exact same thing bc he knows that different brands use different shit and he doesn't want you getting stuck with something you don't like

he likes learning about different curl patterns and textures

atp just get him into cosmetology school

you may have to teach him the same thing 3 times but it's okay, cause it's the fact he listens and actually takes it all in because he loves you yk?

"You think that'd do the same thing for my hair?"

"you wanna try?"

"sure"

RANBOO

bro you literally saved their dead, fried ass hair /lh

it first started over the fact that you pointed out how fried their hair looked and that they needed to try new products so they took advice from you, obviously

literally spent 5 hours in the bathroom teaching him all about the products you use and what they do for your hair

and obviously they'd work different for both of you because you have totally different hair, but it'd still definitely help his hair

you introduce him to some more clarifying shampoo and massage-in cream/lotion to help his hair not get really dry or overly greasy and excentuate the fluffininess of their natural texture and the layers in their haircut

genuinely doesn't trust anyone with his hair other than you

always asks you questions about his hair, considering you know best

he likes watching you take care of your hair as well, like when you massage your scalp with oil or detangling, or diffusing it after a shower

he also helps you with a lot of this because he genuinely wants to and reaching the back of your head is a struggle sometimes

like when/if you have to section it and clip it up, he'll be there with the hot pink clips and a dream

you teach him all about different combs and he just nods the whole way through

he did actually retain that information

tweeting out shit like "ranboo just learned what a wide tooth comb is today, #parenting #momlife #dadlife #millenial"

FREDDIE BADLINU

loves learning about your hair texture

he also loves taking care of it for you

if you're too sick or tired, just sit down in the bathtub

he's got the detachable shower head, a towel, your products, and a dream

a dream to just make you sit down for 3 seconds and chill, God damn

anyways, you teach him all about the different products you use, how often you use them, why you use them, etc etc

you let him play around with your hair sometimes, but not that much

he likes braiding like 3 strands of your curls together to make some little braids and whatever to frame your face but that's really it

when you're cuddling and stuff, he totally like massages your scalp and loves getting his hands tangled in your curls

it's like a nap when you wake up with lines on your arms/face and your mouth is all dry like you've been drooling

best feeling ever

"wait, what's the difference between almond oil and coconut oil again?"

"the diffuser is this thing, right?"

after a while, he knows all the words like a second language

he ends up getting bored one day and doesn't wanna do the dishes so he decides to organize all your stuff for you

you already had little system but after a while you just threw things back in the general vicinity where they belonged so he was like "eh fuck it this is more fun than doing dishes"

he makes sure to sort by the order you use them and how often instead than in color order which

you walk in, see him organizing and just walk out bc no way in hell were you disturbing him nor were you gonna organize it yourself LMAO

QUACKITY

he really doesn't understand all the different products and tools but he does his best to learn

he just likes helping you take care of it and stuff

he notices literally all your combs and brushes are like breaking at the seams so he's like "fuck it I'll buy you new, more high quality ones"

he's a gift giver/acts of service guy what can I say

he makes sure they're either in black, white, or your favorite color, whatever you prefer

even gets you a new water bottle for backup bc the old one barely functioned

also reorders anything when you're running low asap

will gladly spend 200 dollars on hair care products and replacing old stuff

your happiness matters more than how much money he has in his pocket to him

also helps you organize all your stuff once you get a good little setup going

deadass streams it too

"wait, why aren't we doing it by color?"

"Why would that make sense? you always organize this kinda stuff by the order in which you use it"

"Okay Hermione Granger"

"bro what"

the silence 💀

he barely knows the difference between a fine tooth comb and a master sketcher but it's okay

don't even try to ask him the difference between all the different types of oils

literally gets embarrassed like "no! I knew that, I thought you were talking about something else!"

he's a lawyer and a streamer, not a salon professional dude 😭🙏

NIKI NIHACHU

she loves your hair no matter what you do with it

she loves being able to comb through it with her fingers or help you just tie it back if you're gonna get messy or stream for a bit

don't even worry about having to take care of it out of the shower, she's got you

she knows the whole routine front to back

you guys share some products

especially combs and brushes but duh

it's a mix of black, purple, and y/f/c LMAO

she frequently disinfects all your combs and brushes and everything for you too

after time she labels all the combs and brushes and whatnot so just in case you guys don't mix anything up, especially if you'd rather just not share certain things just in case which is totally fine!

she loves putting clips in your hair to push the front bits away from your face

she's got those cute, little, silver star ones

absolutely loves the smell of the stuff you put in your hair

when you're snuggling, she'll always hide her face in like the crook of your neck or in your hair cause it's genuinely soothing

she also likes braiding 3 strands to just frame your face and to add a cute little sign of her so you carry her around all day basically

FOOLISH GAMERS

has no idea of what's ever going on in the bathroom

but he'll help you if you need it anyways

"whats this one for again?"

he's got a hairbrush, a comb and some clips for any backup random shit

he has no idea what eggshell infused keratin etc etc means (I was trying to thing of my shampoo but can't remember other than the eggshell part LMFAO)

he does like asking questions about everything and learning what it does

"Why do you only use some like less than others?"

he's just here for the learning experience

notices some tattered tools in drawers/cupboards so for your birthday he gets you a whole new set of stuff from a really fancy brand

"Holy shit, how much did this cost??"

the silence afterwards was SO LOUD before you heard quackity literally cackling behind you

tweeting shit like "foolish just learned what a rat tail comb is. holy shit" and "foolish just learned about shrinkage today?"

in his defense, he never really though about shrinkage that much, he totally didn't put it into perspective and forgot your hair is technically double/triple the length of what he usually sees

like you'll pull it away from your face to demonstrate and he's just like "damn how long have you been growing your hair??? how have I not noticed?"

also a photographer when it comes to you

loves posting pics where your hair is a defining subject and just really perfects your presence and beauty <3

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #charlie slimecicle x reader #tubbo x reader #nihachu x reader #foolish gamers x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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stinkypeanutbutter · 2 months

Text

silly Aiden headcanons because I have no impulse

i probably already done these before in other headcanon posts I made but ermm I’ll do it again 😹

small TW for scars at the end 🗣🗣

AIDEN :

Aiden has the most unhinged playlist ever like oh my giggly goodness we got metal we got rock we got classic we got indie we got pop we got vocaloid Idfk whatever you can think of ( same 😹 )

totally had an immense phase of just everything . Creepy pasta , animation , FNAF , idk any other phases from 2016 help

Probably dated like once or twice , but they weren’t serious at ALL and mostly online . He just said yes because he wanted to be nice since he never really had friends ofc , so why hurt someone you barley know if it means getting a friend ? ( I’m gonna explode 😭 )

I’m not sure when this was actually invented , but he’d probably try and convince everyone to make battery acid candy drinks . ( they all say no 😔 )

Sorta sad headcanon they if no matter how hard to tries to solve a difficult puzzle , and he fails , he just starts silently bawling his eyes out . Cause you know he’s really good at them right ? He can solve them pretty quickly ? So if he’s like absolutely pressured by a bunch of people watching expecting him to win ( or like his friends cause yk they believe in him !!!! ) and he can’t solve the puzzle he’ll be like “ why can’t I solve this why is this hard why am I failing “ or something and then start crying ig ( Yeouchers angst 😿 )

Bro is the heaviest napper ever you can stack things on him for HOURS but the moment he actually sleeps most things can wake him ( if he’s not comfortable at least . He’ll sleep pretty well at sleepovers )

I can’t figure out an art style for him but I updated it so ignore that last drawing it’s grody anyway he sometimes draws people but prefers just random splotches of color . He has extremely stylized art but yk , it’s just ‘ weird ’ according to some people since it’s really . . graphic . Not in a BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD way but very mixed ( if you get what I mean )

Hugs everything when he sleeps you can’t tell me otherwise like you seen his old bed ?? He had NOTHIN so absolutely is he gonna cuddle everything near him

Hates competing . ( idk if he did it before but we’ll see ) like he doesn’t like doing puzzle competitions anymore that much , he just got bored of it and was really kinda forced to do it when he was younger . BUT if it’s in a game against his friends , he’ll probably do it just to help them out cause they always get stuck if Logan can’t figure it out either .

Does that thing with music where If it absolutely hits he just starts spazzing out and dances to it

that one thing where he walks around in a circle talking to himself if he’s really deep in thought ( he could go on for hours so someone has to pull him out to drink water at least )

TONS of posters in his room

Him and Taylor binge shows together , often ask the others to join when they aren’t busy . They totally watch anime ( Tyler calls it childish then gets really invested in uhhhh let’s say full metal alchemist and sport animes like haikyuu or something I can’t think of any he’d like . But I’m gonna make them all watch Ghost stories because it’s funny )

Aidlyn cuddling is mostly done at Aidens house cause his parents rarely go up to check on him ( 😅💥 ) and also he had a ton of blankets for Ashlyn to wrap herself in . He got her a heavy weighted blanket for her birthday one time so when that’s not around she just uses Aiden as a blanket if she’s feeling affectionate ( he’s warm in the winter time and pretty light believe it or not )

Has a medium spice tolerance , eats more then what he can handle like a stinky loser

doesn’t like anyone pointing out his growing hair roots so just don’t talk about it much 😅😅

steals chopsticks from restaurants cause who needs to buy any ??? They’re free if you don’t get caught / hj

sometimes just locks himself up in his room and lays in his bed thinking about life

LOVES drawing his friends ( especially Ash ) in his free time because he rarely draws in front of people , and will make an airplane out of it to throw it over to them . But he has that mentality where “ Everyrhing I make kinda sucks “ so expect to find doodles in the trash or hidden in his room

IPad kid , can’t tel me otherwise .

Loves hover boarding but he kinda sucks at it so he just 🧍🕺☠️ ( falls )

Will ram into everyone in bumper cars , almost sent someone flying ( Lilly , he bought her candy as a sorry )

rarely catches cavities because he actually has really strong teeth and willingly bites down on hard candies ( I do the same thing because I’m impatient 😹 )

Does all his school work at home cause school has too many distractions ( real )

Buys like body foundation to smear onto his legs and arms . He doesn’t want anyone to point out them out , and if they do he just tells them their from skateboarding . It can come off after a few days if he doesn’t reapply , but it’s fine since he does it again in between and would have to reapply anyway . Idk how it works 😿

Anyway who shall I do next ????? Put your answers in the comment section below subscribe like and support my Patreon see you in the next video 😹😹😹☝️☝️💥💥

#school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon #I’m so mean #I got to stop I’m going insane #He has one of those ugly - cute stuffed animals with the fake teeth #aiden clark #aiden rambles #Will update tags later maybe

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rookiesbookies · 4 months

Note

Saw this tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8xG488k/ how would the 141 guys feel about reader getting it done as a surprise for them?

First off Imma do this fast since it’s a holiday one and they’re almost over.

Secondly, they’re all giggling their asses off but I’ll do you one better I’d do if the reader got it and if the guys got it and for the guys I’ll tell you which one they’d get.

Here’s the link to the tiktok

Deck the Pubes

Name is a work in progress

Price

You get it:

He’s fully belly laughing so hard he can barely breath. He thinks it’s the greatest thing. Definitely stuffing his face in it. He can’t get over it.

They Get it:

He’s getting the Grinch. He’s always trying to tame the bush but it grows out in the night anyway. He’d have to get done an hour before to get it to stay trimmed. But painting his hair green? That was something he could do. He did the paint all the way up his happy trail. It was edible paint because he knew you may want to get your face all in it. Definite is doing it next year.

Soap

You get it:

He’s giggling while he has his face between your legs. He’s definitely doing that next year. Snagging polaroids for when he goes on missions. He’s definitely telling the boys you did this.

They Get it:

Mistletoe. He’s going to tell you that you need to kiss it. He wiggled it saying things like, “come on bonnie, just a little kiss for ‘im. He misses you.” He'd commit and dye it. I feel like it would be really bad, you can see where the red stained his skin. He’s hair would also probably grow back fast and dark too like Price’s but to Soap it just means he wont have to worry about his bad dye job for long.

Ghost

You get it:

He’s not the biggest fan of christmas so he still think it was funny. He probably would sit you down and explain why christmas isn’t something hugely important to him. Definitely appreciates it though.

They Get it:

If he did it. It would be because he’s done a lot of healing or you had a shitty time at work and watching to surprise you. He’d get The Gift (lil bow shape) and bc his hair is (in my mind) finer and blonde he would have to dye it but it would last a lot longer. Could totally see Soap seeing it in the group showers and being like “OH MY GOD ME TOO” or making jokes about it just for Simon to smack him upside the head or smt.

Konig

You get it:

He’s flattered. Definitely tracing the shape with his fingers. Kissing around it, telling you that you didn’t need to wax/shave for him bc he likes you no matter what.

They Get it:

If he got it he’d get “the tree topper” (angel wings and a halo). He probably wouldnt be committed enough to dye it, he'd later shave it all off anyway. Definitely doesnt want you getting hair between your teeth, however he does learn you may like the friction against your clit when he’s balls deep. Definitely tried to shave the shape and cut himself. He would have gone to get the shape waxed but he didnt want to be judged or have to answer questions.

Keegan

You get it:

He thinks it’s awesome. Probably prefers it bare but he thinks spicing it up with the cute little shape is great. Definitely kissing around where it was waxed.

They Get it:

Bro would do the snowman. He wouldn’t dye it, but he definitely would be cracking jokes. Probably got it waxed so it’s all extra smooth. I feel like when he can he waxes. Idk. Definitely makes you give the snowman a kiss and is making Frosty jokes the whole time. Would use body paint to paint his balls to look like jingle bells I cant explain why but I feel it in my soul.

Gaz

You get it:

He’s tickled. Probably told you to tell him so you could be matching. Definitely insists you both need to match next year or get related ones for fun.

They Get it:

He’d get the christmas tree. It wouldnt dye it but he’d probably get like chalk hair color and try to put it on? His hair is so thick and curly he had to cut it short so it held shape but he was super excited to surprise you. He saw Soap tease Ghost so he’s def waxing the rest of it off with an at home kit after. But he definitely had fun with it.

Masterlist is pinned on my account as always and requests are open.

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non-bionical-mecha-dude · 2 years

Note

ok i have a rottmnt request!

reader x donnie, where reader is like a yokai/mutant x human hybrid? (how does that work idk but we won’t question) maybe a dragon or a snake mutant :) can be hcs or a one-shot idm! feel free to ignore this req lol

Absolutely!!! I decided to go with a half snake! Reader, I hope you enjoy!!

(also, sorry if this is short, I wrote this in the middle of class Lol)

Donnie x Half Snake Yokai! Reader!

When he met you, he was in pure Awe

He knew Yokai and mutants who were based on animals could mingle and create some new type of Yokai species, but he never imagined the possibility of a half human half snake yokai

When you first met, he was visiting the Mystic City, with his brothers, shopping and looking around

He was staring at some sort of new Yokai technology, before he bumped into another Yokai, when he opened his eyes, he was met with some of the most beautiful yellow eyes he had seen.

You both of course apologized, but he couldn't keep his eyes off you!

Having both characteristics of a human, but also a long with a snake? It was almost exactly what he was! (Minus the snake bit)

You both were constantly peeping at one another, often times accidentally locking eyes.

Until eventually Leo had to intervene and set you two up to get each other's numbers somehow

When you both started dating, it was so much more unexpected than what he could predict

At first you were scared to kiss him, in fear you would accidentally prick him with your fangs

Sure it happened a couple times, but he found it so adorable when you would get flustered and start to apologize for it

He doesn't like PDA or much affection in general, but when you did give it and he allowed it? Oh he could melt

He often found himself running hands along the scales that littered your skin, taking in it's color and shape, he often found himself complimenting them

If you're ever insecure about being a snake yokai, he will constantly compliment you, give you sweet snake facts (that he totally didn't Google and he totally knew it before hand).

He enjoys making inventions next to you, he'll explain each individual piece and mechanism, you may not understand much of what he's saying, but he enjoys that you're atleast trying to listen (Unlike his brothers *cough* *cough)

His dad was a tiny bit anxious around you (considering snakes eat rats) but after a while and he started to become more relaxed around you

If he ever hears like a hiss, or some sort of snake noise from you, he will obsess over it, and will do everything in his power to hear it again, he just finds it adorable, and it's TOTALLY FOR SCIENCE AND RESEARCH.

If you have a little snake tail, he'll constantly try not to step on it, he's accidentally stepped on it before, many times, and each time he apologizes

If you have some sort of skin/scale routine you have to do, he'll try to help in anyway he can, taking notes on what you do, helping you if you need a little help, and later, after he does more research, he will give ideas on what to do next time, or a more effective way to do something

Constantly gives compliments about your eyes

Is kinda freaked out at first by the way your eyes dilate but later, he finds it so interesting, and he finds it even cuter when your eyes get really wide and big

Often brags about you to his brothers

He often likes to call you his evil lab assistant, because there is no way this man does not see himself as an evil genius

When he gives evil cackles, you just like to watch him cause you find it so cute

Often times you have to persuade him into going to bed cause this man is an insomniac

He finds your tongue so cool, how it's forked and how it flicks when you hiss

Often times you hiss at him when you're annoyed, but now he often tries to make you annoyed cause he finds your little hiss so cute

You are often very quiet when you walk/glide, so you always scare the everliving shit outta hit when you sneak up behind him

But he tries to play it off as if you didn't scare him

When you laugh, you make little hisses, and he is absolutely IN LOVE WITH IT, he literally melts when you laugh and often tries to do more things to get a laugh out you

Whenever you're upset because. someone, since he's not the best at communicating his emotions, he will often say "you want me to kill them? Cause I'll do it, just get me some Titanium, nuts and bolts, chlorophyll, hydrogen monoxide, and they're body won't be found *insert evil chuckle*" and usually, it cheers you up

You love your absolute dorky turtle of a boyfriend

#headcannons #fanfiction #rottmnt #fanfic #save rottmnt #self insert #tmnt #rottmnt headcannons #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello x reader #rottmnt x reader #tmnt donatello

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ladytesla · 4 months

Text

The Great Faerun Baking Show (part two)

I've decided I'm going to run with this anyway. It is a beautiful day in Faerun and I am a horrible goose fanfiction writer. There are several things I need to get done today, so obviously I'm going to not do them and write this instead.

For those of you who are just stopping by, I had a horrible idea a while ago and this is the result. I have no idea what's going to happen or who's going to win. I’m just going to roll a D20 ‘bake check’ for everyone and write out the results, including what everyone rolled so y’all know I’m not cheating just so my druid boyfriend can win. The person with the lowest total score (out of a possible score of 60) goes home.

We've got the main 6 companions, Jaheira, Halsin, Minsc (and Boo), Minthara, Dammon, and my tav Medora (who y'all can just pretend is Alfira if you don't want someone else's tav in the story, since they're both female bards)

Week One, Cake Week: Star baker was Karlach, Minthara went home

Week Two: Biscuit Week, or "Viconia's Walking Florentine"

Signature Challenge: Sandwich Biscuits

Astarion: Bourbon biscuits. He and Shadowheart took a shot right when the bake started. He took a few more shots after that just because he could, and ended up making a bunch of vampire jokes with Noel Fielding. Despite the alcohol handicap, his biscuits turned out quite nice.

Dammon: Dulce de leche and banana biscuits. The dulce de leche overpowered the banana a bit, but the texture of the biscuits themselves were great.

Gale: Tara's coffee biscuits. He really wanted to bring back the memories of caffeine-fueled all-nighters at Blackstaff Academy. He also used a cat-shaped cookie cutter. The biscuits weren't exactly identical, and the coffee cream was a bit too runny.

Halsin: Lavender and vanilla biscuits. He used a duck-shaped cookie cutter because he likes ducks. They were all perfectly identical and the flavors were incredible. He got a Hollywood Handshake for them.

Jaheira: Malted milk biscuits. She wasn't able to get them as identical as she would have liked, and some of the biscuits were a bit underdone.

Karlach: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich biscuits. She was determined to have Paul like something with peanut butter in it. Unfortunately he still doesn't. They were also a bit messy. They were adorable in their messiness though.

Lae'zel: Pistachio custard creams. They were messy, and the dragon cookie cutter she used was a bit too delicate, resulting in some dragons missing their tails.

Medora: Raspberry and almond linzer biscuits. They had a lovely classic flavor profile, and were nearly identical.

Minsc: Coconut biscuits. He tried to use chocolate designs to make them look like tiny coconuts, but it wasn't completely successful. The flavor, however, was nice.

Shadowheart: Blackberry and earl grey biscuits. She tried to shape them like night orchids, colored with activated charcoal. However, the color made it hard to judge whether or not the biscuits were overcooked, and several of them were burned. The earl grey was so faint it was overpowered by the blackberry and the, well, burn.

Wyll: Empire biscuits. He grew up sneaking them from the kitchen as a boy, and wanted to stick to his 'classics done right' style. Unfortunately the biscuits weren't as crisp as Paul and Prue would have liked. Noel still stuck one in his pocket for later though.

Technical Challenge: Coconut Macaroons

(I think I'm going to list them from worst to best from now on)

11. Dammon

10. Shadowheart

9. Medora

8. Karlach

7. Lae'zel or Wyll (they both rolled a 9)

6. Wyll or Lae'zel

5. Halsin

4. Astarion

3. Jaheira

2. Gale

Minsc (honestly how does he keep doing so well idk man)

Showstopper: Gingerbread Showpiece

Astarion: To keep with his Brand, he decided to make a graveyard with several little gingerbread mausoleums and monuments. His, of course, was the biggest and fanciest one, with the door open and a little paper cut-out of himself coming out. Very tongue-in-cheek. Some of the monuments were sloppy, because he had so many he didn't have time to make them all super polished.

Dammon: He did his best to make an anvil, a hammer and a little piece of pulled sugar as the metal to be forged. He then discovered that despite working with molten metal on a regular basis, molten sugar still burns just as much when hitting the skin, and dropped it. He spent so much time on a backup sugar piece that the presentation on his anvil and hammer suffered a tiny bit.

Gale: His scene was an open book with a little wizard casting Fireball standing on the pages. There were huge cracks in the gingerbread book, but the wizard and his fireball were nicely detailed. He wasted a lot of time because he needed the spell piped on to the gingerbread to be ACCURATE DAMMIT.

Halsin: He created a peaceful woodland scene with trees, a family of bears, and some mushrooms. The largest bear broke, but he was able to fix it somewhat and prop it up against a tree. Bears lean against trees all the time. He hoped the judges might think it was purposeful. They saw right through him, however.

Jaheira: Years of helping her children with various projects has paid off. She somehow in the time limit created Wyrm's Crossing and just for show a poured-sugar River Chionthar. That earned her a Hollywood Handshake.

Karlach: She made an impressive replica of her tent, complete with a small army of teddy bear cookies. She even took the time to make little bears shaped like her friends and the judges. When asked if she hadn't wanted to make something more badass, she shrugged and said she could like cracking skulls and teddy bears at the same time.

Lae'zel: Her red dragon looked more like a guinea pig, unfortunately, so she changed her answer last-minute and said it was a giant space hamster. Due to its red color, though, the judges saw right through her story.

Medora: She attempted to create a lute, a mandolin and a drum. The neck of the lute broke and the piping on the drum was far from precise, but it wasn't a complete disaster.

Minsc: He made a treasure chest mimic. Originally he'd wanted the lid to open, but the hinge broke. It was still beautiful regardless, and quite big. It nearly took up the entire counter.

Shadowheart: Her little gingerbread cottage was already precariously lopsided, and when she turned to grab another piping bag it fell completely off the bench and onto the floor.

Wyll: He replicated his favorite park in Baldur's Gate out of gingerbread, even sculpting a statue with modeling chocolate. It was very impressive.

The Results

Our star baker this week with a total of 45/60 is Halsin!

And unfortunately, with a score of 9/60, Shadowheart has to leave the tent.

Feel free to play along, roll bake checks, and comment with what your Tav would make! Yeah I can't be stopped we're on to bread week next.

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minheeology · 1 year

Text

zerobaseone reaction ➵ s/o asking “notice something different about me?”

pairing : zb1 x gn!reader

genre : fluff, crack (?)

warnings : none.

a/n : this is my first zb1 post, as well as my first post in a while!! with that said, i want to apologize if these are a bit out of character for them, as i’m stil analyzing them a bit, so please understand!

jiwoong

he’s honest with you.

“uh, no.. what’s new?”

will try his best to guess if you refuse to tell him.

when he does find out what you changed - if you changed anything at all, he will make it his mission to compliment it every day to make up for missing it before.

zhanghao

“nothing is different about you, y/n.”

he’s so confident about it.

he notices every little thing, so of course he would notice if you changed something!

will just give you the ‘are you done’ look if you try to convince him he’s missing something.

hanbin

“oh, of course! your hair looks amazing today.”

he doesn’t notice anything, but doesn’t want to make you feel bad

panics a little when you tell him that you never changed your hair.

“oh? well it looks good anyway!”

tries to change the subject so that he doesn’t hurt your feelings since he didn’t notice anything different about you.

matthew

“no, but you look amazing!”

his smile will stop you from being upset that he didn’t notice.

will beg you to tell him so he can compliment it!

if you got a new shirt or something, he might consider buying the same one in a different color.

unrelated but i totally see him liking couples items idk why..

taerae

“y/n! you changed something? you didn’t tell me you were changing something!”

lowkey hurt you didn’t tell him you were gonna do something new lol.

notices pretty quickly what it is that you changed.

makes sure to tell you how much he likes it/how good it looks!

huuuugee smile on his face <3

ricky

“how was i supposed to know you changed something?”

lowkey shocked (?)

like how didn’t he notice???

apologizes tbh.

from now on, he keeps a close eye on you so he’ll never miss anything you change.

gyuvin

he looks so confused.

“you changed something?”

“did you really?”

is literally shocked that he didn’t notice something.

but you didn’t change anything??

right?

he won’t allow you to tell him what’s different, opting to try and guess.

he makes a game out of it jvbksnbfckjs.

gunwook

“you know i love you, y/n.”

he, in fact, did not notice anything new.

“well remember when you forgot [something from a long time ago]? this makes us even!”

you forgive him since who can stay mad at gunwook?

if it was a joke, pls don’t tell him

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reepiblog · 10 months

Text

Chat GPT couldn’t write My Immortal

So the fun thing about Chat GPT is that is the worst writer I have ever interacted with, but it is bad in a special unique way that a full decade of over-involvement on a bad fanfic forum could not have prepared me for. I legitimately think My Immortal is better written in most ways (except technically obvs). Maybe I just hate the feeling of getting thru several paragraphs and realizing I’ve read basically nothing, idk, but at least My Immortal is interesting and sometimes things happen in it. I can’t even prompt Chat GPT into giving me outfit descriptions that are as good as Tara’s! I’ve tried! So for shits and giggles I prompted Chat GPT to write like Tara. The best part was I phrased it like a question so it responded with “OMG!!111 I can totally do that for you!” But overall it did a pretty shitty job. I thought I would share anyway.

Part I

First I tried to get it to describe a character’s outfit, as mentioned. It started okish but without and of the characteristic bad grammar and spelling errors:

So, like, his outfit was, like, so edgy and gothic, it was like a total masterpiece of dark fashion. His go-to look was a black turtleneck, which hugged his rock-hard bod in all the right ways,

Chat GPT loves to just fixate on one aspect of the prompt you give it, so it couldn’t help but regurgitate a phrase I used in the most awkward way it could:

And OMG, let's talk about his pants, or should I say "pant-adjacent abomination"? LOL!

But eventually it became less Tara and more like a parody of gen Z:

The fabric, in all its darkness, flowed and draped in this super cool way, embracing the curves and angles of his legs. It was like fashion magic, I tell you!

But the best part? The lower part of the pants had all these intricate pleats and folds. They, like, embraced his leg structure and gave his outfit this rebellious and avant-garde vibe.

It was a fashion statement that screamed, "I'm unique, I'm fierce, and I'm ready to kick some serious ass!

The fabric had this rad texture, adding that extra touch of awesomeness to his ensemble. It was a fusion of practicality and personal style, showing the world that Gargoyle was not just a badass protector but a fashion icon in his own right.

As if Tara would ever use the word “avant-garde”. Or “vibe” for that matter.

It did end with my favorite touch tho:

It was a style statement that only a true goth queen like him could pull off with such dark grace.

OK Chat GPT, you got me there. It’s still wrong, but I like it.

Part II

Next I gave it a completely different prompt from something I’ve been working on. This one is like one of those Korean webtoons where people die and get reincarnated as their younger selves but Chat GPT took a couple creative liberties (surprisingly rare, but always a delight):

Wretch woke up, feeling soooo goffik and angsty. He sat up in his bed, his long, black hair cascading around his pale face. He looked around the room, which was still a dark and brooding place, just like he left it. But something was off. He felt strange, like he was trapped in a bad fanfiction crossover. He touched his long, silky hair, shocked to find it was no longer jet black but now a shimmering shade of silver. "What the hell?" he muttered to himself, his voice deep and mysterious.

He got out of bed and stood in front of the mirror, his black eyeliner perfectly applied. He gasped when he saw his reflection. Staring back at him was a much younger version of himself, no older than 10 years old. His face was chubby and innocent, so different from his usual brooding and menacing appearance. "How the f*** did this happen?" he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair, which was no longer slicked back but loose and flowing.

I’m not sure why getting younger changed his hair color, but ok. The My Immortal-ness of it is so obviously surface level tho. IDK if it is as clear when you ask it to pretend to be Stephan King or whatever, but here is it pretty clear it’s only picking up on a couple key traits.

The weird thing about this one is it must be getting some of its information about how to write this from parodies because the meta “jokes” don’t stop coming:

Was this some kind of twisted nightmare or a poorly written plot twist?

The realization hit him like a poorly spelled Avada Kedavra.

Umm, excuse me, but Tara would never. One thing I will give it tho, its extremely awkward use of swears, especially from adult figures, is very good:

Valorous turned to face Wretch, a look of confusion on his face. "Wretch? What's going on? Why do you look like a f***ing child?

Wretch scowled at Valorous, his dark eyes narrowing. "I don't know what the f*** is happening, but Verity's here, and I need to find her. This could be our chance to finally end this endless war and... maybe even find love or some s***," he said, his voice laced with a hint of doubt.

This also ends on a pretty good note:

But seriously, what the

Yeah, I agree.

#harry potter #my immortal #tara gilesbie #chat gpt #writing #creative stuff

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groupiewhoreee · 1 year

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Hey! Do you think you could write either some nsfw headcanon for gene or a nsfw alphabet? Maybe something with a height difference? He’s 6’2 (6’8 in the platforms) and ya girl is 4’9 😂 anyways thanks babs luv ya! 😗✨❤️

omg hii again! yess, i'd love to, i love gene hes so cool 😭 i'll include the height diff into the nsfw alphabet. holy shit never actually realized that uh okay damn. i'm like 5'..1? idk something i don't remember !! luv ya too! 💕🤧

NSFW ALPHABET

(GENE SIMMONS!)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I don't think he's much or too much of an romantic type, but he tries his best. He always is trying to get you things you'd like, and stuff like that. During aftercare, he'll kiss your forehead, and help clean you up. Bring you to bed(if you didn't do it on the bed), sleep with you, and in the morning he'll stay with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think Gene likes the way he towers over you in the boots and just the way he is. When he looks down at you, and you have to look up at him. How you sometimes have to get a step-stool like thing to get there and kiss him. He still has to bend over a little. Or he'll say he likes ur lips, because of the way they taste and how you kiss him. He likes his hands though, because he is able to play guitar and trail his hands up and down ur body.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Gene likes to let his load out upon anywhere on you, but not all the time. He'll cum on ur ass or stomach, but if that isn't what u want, it'll be in ur mouth. He'll force you to swallow it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Personally, Gene has nothing to keep from you. He is an open book, and is totally willing to talk to you about anything. He loves you, and doesn't want you to think he's hiding anything, but he'll like to share you with Paul.. I KNOW, but he isn't gonna keep it from you..

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Guys. Rockstar, Groupie? Make sense? Of course he has experience on him, he's very experienced, and he obviously knows what he's doing. He has pounded many groupies beforehand, it probably explains why he isn't as romantic after sex because he's used to groupies.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He is an open book, so any position is good with him, but he prefers doggy style as much as anything. Although he does like reverse cowgirl or any way you two land up. But if u'd like to try a new position thats fine with him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's a goofy one during sex, giggling and laughing when you fall off the bed or make a weird noise, but gets very serious during sex, the eye contact is amazing, but he can't help but smile at you because ur smiling at him. He says ur smile is very beautiful.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Same color as the hair on his head, and of course you can see it. He doesn't have to be asked to trim it nor groom, because he'll do it anyway for you. He doesn't like them either dude. He has a lotta hair on him, when he gets sweaty its worse. You don't even ask him to shave anywhere and he does.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Like I said, Gene isn't very great with romantic shit, it just isn't him as much. He does try a lot for you if thats what you want, like candles, romantic music, and rose petals but not all the time. He tries his best to be somewhat intimate with you. Although he isn't like Tommy Lee. He isn't a hopeless romantic like him, although he can be if you want him too, he wants to try his best with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't actually do it much. Sometimes, yeah when he's on tour, but usually phone sex happens. He wants to at-least hear your pretty little cries, but at times he just doesn't masturbate at all. He doesn't really touch his weenie much, it rarely happens unless he's really in the mood. Otherwise he doesn't do it.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Not much of a kink man, although dude is into ball gags and shit, bdsm maybe. When he roughs you up, he calls you slut, whore, all that stuff, but sometimes its just hair pulling or teasing you heavily.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He likes the bed because pillows, and its comfortable for him, because the feels. But he's willing to do it over tables, counters, in public. He tried doing it in a public bathroom or in one of those family restrooms and under a restaurant table. He doesn't mind public sex. Doesn't like the way people can see, but whatever is good w him, ig.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in black lingerie. Totally gets him going. He'll pop one and thats the go too, you know it turns him on so thats why you wear it so much.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't ever try and hurt you as much, spanking a few times is okay, but nothing to over the top. And definitely nothing with bodily fluids. (You know the ones), and nothing with Feet. Absolutely not. He'll call it off and probably just not have sex with you or leave you if thats what your really into because that's disgusting for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As much as he adores receiving, he doesn't mind about giving. He loves to please you, especially if he's between your legs, kissing all around and then finally placing his hot mouth and sucking the living shit out of you and teasing you with his tongue just to see you beg and hear you whine and whimper for him. He loves blowies, so definitely give those to him first beforehand.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Eh, Gene is slow at first, but he gets fast longer it goes. He'll get sloppy too, but if you want fast and rough then there. He wants sex to be as sensual as it can be.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's a busy rockstar so, quickies bound to happen at times. Its often, although he prefers actual sex and having his time with you, quickies is usually what you two have to do, because he doesn't get much time with you, sorry.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Hes down, but not too down. You have to explain to him what the risk is your going to take and then see if he'll agree to it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last a few rounds until he finally says he's too tired and he starts getting sloppy. He can last for a few minutes during sex until he actually lets his load out, but he can last about an hour pounding into you until its the next round for you two.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Y'know, I don't think he uses them on himself. He'll use them on you though, sure he owns them but they're mostly yours. He's willing to lend you cash for them, but its rare he does so, because you usually buy it yourself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you, but he loves when you tease him. He'll groan and want you to just blow him already. He loves teasing you though, hearing ur cries, and being touch starved.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn't that loud. He grunts, lets out small groans and husky moans, sometimes squeaky moans, but usually he doesn't make much noise.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sharing you with Paul, thats it. Maybe Ace? He doesn't know.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I got no idea. Probably a.. 7.8, 8.2 inch? Idk he has a lotta hair down there like Slash. Its like a jungle dude. Could get a leopard in there man.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

On tour, its very high. And if he's without you on tour, its even higher. Its high when he comes back and he will want to have sex with you at home afterwards or even before if he is with you. He can't help it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not as quick, although he'll fall asleep afterwards.

#request #smut #smutty #gene simmons #kiss band #the demon #the starchild #the catman #the spaceman #vinnie vincent #paul stanley #ace frehley #peter criss #eric carr #eric singer #tommy thayer

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